#valerie yndera(oc)

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From the journals of Valerie Yndera, Spirit Hunter:

She asked me how I was handling the cold so much better than her. I didn't have the heart to explain it.

#ffxiv #dancer quest #valerie yndera (oc) #ranaa mihgo

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"Thaumaturgy isn't really about destruction, it's about moving energy around. Here, a short demonstration." - Black Mage Valerie

"And that's how it always begins. Very small."

From the journals of Valerie Yndera, Soul Hunter

The first art I took up, the one that lead me to my quest for unification, was thaumaturgy. I did have some slight talent, and I was more enthusiastic about it than anything else in my young life, so I was sent to the city to study.

Now, I think it was a calling, a small piece of myself calling out to me. So, not luck, not fate, just me, saving myself. Ourselves.

My power and knowledge have grown greatly since then, but there has been a cost. For some reason, when I take up the Black, I find even small amounts of light almost unbearable. I have to wear dark lenses to ease the pain and allow me to see. My best guess is that the Shard has enhanced my power had similar problems, and since she is the strongest of the ones I've found, they are imposed on this life.

#valerie yndera(oc) #Black Mage #ffxiv

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"Draw, varmint." - Machinist Valerie

Break for vague Heavensward spoilers.

From the research notes and journals of Valerie Yndera, Soulhunter

This soul shard has proven resistant to my entreaties to join with the rest of us. At first, she was enraged when she discovered the current alliance with the dragons and the place of her birth in our memories. Her hatred of the dragons was deeply ingrained, probably due to personal experience and loss. I posit that she spent a short life fighting them and died a violent death, yet another tragedy of the long war, hardly unique to this piece of myself.

But, lately, her mood has shifted. She radiates shame instead of hate, now. I believe she has encountered the true origins of the war, although I am not sure how, exactly. She cut herself off from our mind, so she shouldn't have seen it in our memories. As a spiritform of sorts, I wonder if she could have communed with lingering souls from near the end of the war. If so, perhaps the visions we saw while freeing the Dragoon were real?

I suppose it doesn't much matter. Whatever we saw then hasn't appeared again. I'm not sure if that's sad or a relief.

Perhaps this is a good sign, though. If she feels ashamed of her actions, that may be easier to deal with that the hate she had previously. I hope so, that she will conclude that she has a chance to make up for in some way her "crimes".

Addendum the First: She has become willing to let us use her abilities, and we have been practicing with them to allow her to become stronger and more comfortable with us. It's a first step, anyway.

Addendum: I notice that I am still referring to my collected, shattered soul as "us" instead of "me". Sometimes even when I am talking about my personal experiences in this life. It takes a great deal getting used to. I wonder if that will change if we are ever truly whole?

#valerie yndera(oc) #ffxiv #machinist

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FFXIV, Dark Knight spoilers below the cut.

Liner notes: I made a quip how the real problem for the Warrior of Light and Darkness was stress and PTSD, and @itsmeappo commented, "Have you played the Dark Knight story?" Now I know why.

I commented a while back that Valerie might accidentally be too close to my ongoing obsession. Watching a version of her on her knees talking about her "freedom" did not help that impression.

From the journals of Valerie Yndera, Soul Hunter:

Well, that explains a great deal. The actual Fray is dead, and part of myself took his place when I took up the soul stone and sword. And pushed the knowledge of his death from my mind. I suppose the other me was right, I did want this.

I do not know, though, if this was a part of my quest to become whole. The stone remains quiet, except for the instructions that all of them provide, and the part of me that took Fray's name has not returned to me so far. Was there truly a piece of my soul in this stone, as I first assumed? Or did some darker urge of this life draw me there instead?

I am not certain how much it matters. Fray, the other Valerie, is a part of me either way. I suspect I will need to reconcile with this, sooner or later.

For now, I have acquired new armor to replace that damaged during the fight. It seemed fitting.

#animated gif #ffxiv #dark knight #spoilers #valerie yndera (oc)

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From the journals of Valerie Yndera, Soul Hunter

Fray is beginning to disturb me. She says that this darkness inside is something healthy to bring out, but I see how she responds to requests for help, and now to a demand for payment. That demand was certainly unfair, but was she overreacting? I do hope she is all right, the powers she is drawing out seem dangerous. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

My hope is that by continuing to pursue her training, I can help her as she helps me. If she is, ultimately, helping me.

The soul stone seems remarkably quiet most of the time. The only times it seems to speak are when we do this bonding ritual. I'm not sure if that really is the soul stone, though, or of its significance if it is.

But the people we help have also started to react oddly to her. I'm not sure what to make of any of this. So many mysteries.

#Valerie Yndera (OC) #Dark Knight Valerie #Fray #FFXIV #Dark Knight Spoilers #Maybe I'm not sure I know enough for it to be a spoiler honestly

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Incorrect FFXIV: Shadowbringers quote:

"Why do I always end up lost in Lost Angles?"

#Reboot #Hexidecimal #Valerie Yndera (OC) #ffxiv #shadowbringers

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Everything is a spoiler save, I hope, the picture. Hopefully that's just adorable. Astrologian Valerie and her new minion.

"Yes, her fate was never really in doubt, and she was terrible, cruel, vengeful. But I still find I needed this to remind me of her and maybe the other lives she might have lead if the stars hadn't gotten in the way." - Astrologian Valerie

From the journals of Valerie Yndera, Soul Hunter

The question I heard asked a few times is, why did the kami do this? And I know I can't answer for them. I'm not even sure I believe in them, but I do have some experience with fate. And maybe it really was already too late for her, and she had done so much wrong that perhaps needed to be redressed in some way, but maybe she was also given final gifts before the end.

First, a real childhood, with a man that was more father to her than her actual adoptive father ever was. A time of peace that, while brief, was profound, and may have truly changed her. Too late? Too late for those she misspent her rage on, yes, and too late for her, but it may have been some comfort, both for her and the man that cared for her in this time.

Then, mortals interfered. Her "brother" made sure she was forced down the path he wanted. Should the kami be blamed for what he did? Maybe they knew what would happen, but they gave her this new chance. And maybe they knew it was a chance without choice, and that she would have to be freed to make her own in the end or it would mean nothing.

It is hard to divine the intent of the gods.

And, when she came back to herself, when all the pain and hatred returned and she lashed out yet again, only three were harmed. And they were all deserving of what she did to them. It's true that's only because the Warrior of Light was there to stop her, but she had to know that would happen.

And her guardian came to protect her one last time, even though she tried to reject him.

That time they gave her, that first real childhood, did not save her, but it allowed her to strike back at her real tormentors. It gave her a time of contentment. It allowed her to die satisfied, and at peace. I would have liked something better, but maybe that is enough.

#valerie yndera(oc) #minion #yotsuyu goe brutus

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Miraluka Valerie.

#valerie yndera(oc) #ffxiv #star wars #crossover hell

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"Books are always magical, some are just more literal about it." - Scholar Valerie

From the lab notes of Valerie Yndera, Soulhunter:

I feel it must be remarked that the collective bits of my soul are not entirely the same. There is a root personality that whose traits are shared across my other selves, but the specifics can be quite different. I note this most when perusing my own, or our own, journal entries and other writings. It is clear that our memories are shared, but while we allow the influences of different shards to wax, that impacts the writing's style.

The bookish scholar attempts to be precise and formal, the self of this life is more passionate and willing to write down feelings. The warriors are more straightforward and practical, though the knight does use more flowery language, as does the musician. The thief (Correction: "rogue", she seems insistent on that point) does not write what she really means half the time. And so on.

We are more alike than different, but I should use some caution. It would not do for others to learn of our condition. There are some that would not understand, and those differences could reveal us.

#valerie yndera(oc) #ffxiv #scholar

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The true endgame content: Fashion!

"And I shall shed my light over dark evil. For the evil things cannot stand the Light!" - Paladin Valerie

With apologies to Alan Scott.

Cut for length, the pictures are long enough.

From the journals of Valerie Yndera, Soulhunter

I think that was the easiest shard I've ever encountered. Almost the moment I took the soul crystal in hand, it vowed to protect me until we were whole once more, and possibly beyond. It knows that, once reunited, it will only have this one life before we all return to the source of everything, but has bound itself to that cause anyway. It could exist for as long as the mountain stone within the crystal, but doesn't want to, even if it costs its individuality.

I don't think I could do that. I never realized how much I was asking the others to do what I wouldn't.

I will have to find out more about the person this soul shard was. The order of Paladins is protective, while my life has been devoted to destruction. Is that training the difference, or did we have the leaning first that lead to the training? I may have to learn to be more like that if my quest is to succeed.

#valerie yndera(oc) #ffxiv #paladin

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The Chronicles of Valerie Yndera

Valerie the Soul Hunter by @fleeting-sanity​

I would like someday to finish all those stories that are partly done (yes, mostly about Vaylin), but my brain got broken due to real life events this year and I am finding it difficult to pick them up again. So, starting a new one, updated whenever, about Valerie, my main (almost exclusively) on FFXIV. We’ll see if that gets me back into the habit of writing.

Story

Origin

Machinist Shard

Paladin Shard

Random Bits

Saw

Winter

Dragon

A Reading Black Hole

Hatter

Suit

#Valerie Yndera (OC)

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Valerie Yndera, piecing together the bits of her own soul, by @fleeting-sanity.

The birth had been difficult, but mother and child had both survived. The mother, at least, was healthy. The newborn seemed listless, but she still wailed at the right time, causing cheers among the extended family. No one had been sure if they would survive, so a celebration was swiftly planned.

They named her Valerie.

As a child, she was withdrawn, though she would do her chores and studies without complaint. She spent most of her time alone when not with her parents. They worried, but she seemed content enough. They thought perhaps they shouldn't worry that they happened to have an obedient child.

In her teens, though, Valerie started having health problems. She could not bring herself to eat enough and became gaunt. She slept for extended times and could not be awoken. Her parents were not wealthy, and exhausted their scant resources on their only child. For a time, her parents despaired that they would lose her young.

Then, Valerie discovered thaumaturgy. Or, perhaps, it discovered her.

Thaumaturgy is not a magic that heals, and her health did not improve. On her eighteenth birthday, her extended family was able to send her to the city, where she could learn more of the magic that so fascinated her. If the parting made her sad, no one could tell. Her parents made plans to make the journey to visit before her time was over.

They thought this would at least make her happy, as happy as she was able to be.

Valerie expended as much energy as she could in her new studies, and eventually visited the guild. She did not seem to be a natural spell caster by any means, but she worked as hard as she ever had to learn what she was driven to. Eventually, she caught the attention of the Black Mages, not because of any special ability, but because they realized she was... missing something.

The Soul of the Black Mage was practically screaming that day as it was handed over. She couldn't be ready for it, she hadn't the training yet, and in a way that was true. But the Soul spoke to young Valerie, or rather, one of the many souls swirling within it.

Her own. A missing part of herself.

Then she knew, she was not whole, her soul had been shattered at some point in the past. Or possibly the future, she couldn't be sure. Did souls care about time? Did the Aether? She doesn't know, but that was the first step of her quest, to reassemble herself, trapped in Soul Crystals of all kinds, bits of her being released as she found them.

She was able to re-unite with her family, her health greatly boosted by that first bit of herself. She explained as well as she could that she would have to leave for a time, that she still wasn't "complete". And that she loved them and thanked them for all that they had done for her. Then, she began her travels, which have still not been completed.

#valerie yndera(oc) #ffxiv #yes this is my excuse for learning all the classes #it's also going to be used for a tabletop character

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Valerie and her saw.

#ffxiv #Valerie Yndera (OC)

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Valerie bundled up a bit while sitting out in the cold during the Starlight Celebration, waiting for her food. The Minidragon of Doom sometimes gives off a puff of flame to keep them warm.

#Valerie Yndera (OC) #midgardsormr #ffxiv

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I only recently realized that the Evil Minidragon Companion will often be sitting on my shoulder rather than fluttering around.

I’m easily amused.

Valerie in her normal spellcaster clothes as a Blue Mage, about to go out looking for Mind Blast.

#Valerie Yndera (OC) #midgardsormr #ffxiv

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“Trigonometry is power!”

It should be, considering how many people struggle with it.

“Take a look/It’s in a book/ A magic black hole.”

#ffxiv #Valerie Yndera (OC) #screenshots