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neathbound-fiends · 9 months

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Don't wanna actually try and write and also don't wanna like spam Discord servers w this anymore since I haven't actually written much of it but like. Horticultural Show + the blorbos (sticking under cut bc this is gonna be a long post and also spoilers)

Elliott is AT the show. He spends the whole day happily gardening and swapping tips with people and sharing gardening implements and generally just having an absolutely grand time of it. He has never been more excited about any festival before, and then it just gets DESTROYED. His daughter is there. He knows that they won't escape the glasshouse. The only thing he can do is grab her in his arms and try to shield her from it and shout not to be afraid, to hope that if this all comes down, it will actually make a difference for her. It misses them, mostly, and though he is injured, he ignores it for the time being. There's more important things to be focused on than cracked ribs or likely head trauma--as long as he's upright, he intends to pitch in. He ends up helping with the relief efforts, doing whatever he can to make things work, running triage, helping search parties, directing people--whatever Jenny has for work, he's doing it, because they need all the help they can get. He can't just do nothing, not when the City is falling apart and no one in power is doing anything to stop it. The ship ends up doing what it did during the GCO, serving as a shelter and meeting ground and field hospital for anyone that wanders on board. He's among the exhausted zailors that are clearly out of their depth but are among the numbers that have agreed to give it their all for however long it takes. When it eventually becomes clear that this isn't working, when they finally change the playing field to the air, he is coaxed into helping there, too, even though he is terrified of the dirigibles. He is going to give his life if they ask him to, because the City is worth more than him. If it secures everyone's safety, it's more than worth it. The airship doesn't make it, but they manage to land it safely (more or less) without suffering any casualties (only injuries). He is watching the roof and knows that people he loves are still up there. He doesn't know how this is going to end

Warren is at the show, too, when the stalactite comes down. She knows that something horrible is going on, and she doesn't know what it is, but all she knows is she's petrified and can't run away and her father is grabbing her and shouting in terror not to be scared, and that scares her even more. Whatever it is, he is afraid for his life, and hers too. The stalactite misses her, she's scared but mostly unharmed, and everyone is rushed outside as quickly as possible to get them away from whatever is happening, and the sounds of it are seared into her mind. She is dragged into Parabola briefly, but she won't stay there. Not when everyone she cares about is out there. She does what she can to help, but mostly she huddles with other survivors to keep out of the way. Arthur wishes her a happy birthday, and so does everyone in the room with them when they overhear it. She doesn't feel like it's really much to celebrate, huddled in this building with a bunch of strangers. It isn't exceptionally festive in any case. Someone scrounges together a couple sweets as a gift, an apology that THIS is her party. Elliott wishes a happy birthday to her, too, when she sees him, and seems surprised that it's already Friday. The time is slipping away from him. She doesn't see him much, though. He's constantly busy with work right now, sleeping on the ship during the brief moments he does, and then going right back to work. She feels terribly alone during this except for Arthur, and she would never slight him by implying that he isn't enough, but she is reminded very poignantly of being on the streets with no one but eachother to rely on, and wants some reassurance this won't be the case again. And then everyone is going up, up where she can't go, where she won't go because it's a place for grownups, because she's afraid, because there is the very real chance she won't come back if she does. The missed birthday doesn't feel very important right now, but she is reassured before everyone leaves that they will return for a makeup party. She wants to believe it's true

Arthur hears the sound of the stalactite from home. He doesn't know, but he knows that that's where his kid is. He's running the rooftops in the opposite direction of the urchins fleeing the destruction, and there is the wreckage of the glasshouse. His kid is in there. The pair of them stumble out of the wreckage, and he scrambles up onto her shoulders to purr as hard as he can and reassure her. He's getting them out of here, NOW. There's no time to wait for Elliott--he'll find them, the first priority is getting the kid into Parabola, getting her into his territory where she'll be safe. She won't stay here, and he knows it, but he can keep her here as long as he can. He can prolong the safety as far as he can stretch it before they're back out in the thick of it. He picks through wreckage, bringing back supplies to barter and food to eat, whatever he can get to try and keep them both taken care of. Despite his dislike of him, he's regretful to see Elliott go. He's even more regretful to hear word that the ship's are being destroyed, that only a slim percentage are landing with crew intact enough to revive. He's frightened by the prospect of them having to forge a new family. He's worried about his kid pulling through this

Florence isn't near the glasshouse when it starts, she didn't care about the show at all, but she knows when things start going south. She can hear the destruction and the screaming, and word reaches her quickly of exactly what is happening over there. There are a couple people she checks on, but she's not about to risk her own neck needlessly. She hits the Flit and is up as high as she can get, away from everything that's going on in the streets. And it takes some time, but eventually Jenny gets things moving in the right direction, and they need extra hands, and she considers Jenny her rival, but this is a little more important than her grudge. And then she's running the search parties, and then she's lying when they ask about her qualifications, and then she's captaining an airship she has absolutely no business being behind the wheel of to take surveys. And it's fun! It's exciting! It feels good to be doing something that might actually help, and, she must admit, it's thrilling to be piloting a dirigible at inadvisable speeds and hurtling between stalactites and dodging obstacles (geographic and organic alike). And then she hears the plan. She receives her orders and they say "you're going to push ahead and take it on directly" and suddenly this is very very real. Suddenly these people's lives are in her hands while she's playing pretend, and she can't back out now, but what is she supposed to do? So she goes. They rise with the others, and she pushes through, and as soon as she sees the oculus, everything is brought into sharp focus. This is more real than she was prepared for. That shaft of light falls, and it's the first time she's ever seen the Sun. It is unimaginably bright, searing her eyes and forcing her to flinch and put a hand up to shield herself from it. That is going to kill everyone. The cannons keep glancing off of it, and everyone around them is going down. THEY'RE going down. So she looks at the handful of people in the ship with her and all she can say is "I'm sorry" before pointing the wreckage straight at the certain doom ahead of them. The woman that wouldn't risk her neck for anyone is aiming straight for certain death in the hopes that it will mean something. That it will save the City she hadn't thought worth saving just a couple weeks ago. And when the Boat Man confirms it did something--that plan WORKED--she is beside herself. She is screaming in absolute, overwhelming joy, shaking the Starved Lithologer by the shoulders and reaching to do the same to the Boat Man. She hasn't been an urchin or a zailor's wife for a long time, but that doesn't mean she doesn't remember the shanties and stupid songs they riffed off of Mahogany Hall classics, and her celebration doesn't end when she's back in London proper

The Surgeon is busy when the festivities roll around, and all the better for it. Sitting in a building full of strangers and spore fever isn't exactly his idea of a good time. But there is no denying the sounds that erupt from the site are the kind of utter destruction. The sounds like a fraction of the next City is dropping. He's disgusted to hear it's Starved, their amber tainted presence a blight upon the City. Truthfully, he doesn't care to lend a hand, but he knows Shale does, and anything they want of him is theirs. So he opens the doors of his clinic as another spot to bring the wounded for treatment, distinctly aware of the scars that arc across his chest reacting to the presence of the amber and its bearers. The body never forgets. He doesn't do anything with the airships--that isn't his skill set, and he doesn't intend to risk his own safety or anyone else's by going up there and deciding to try and figure it out on the fly. There is enough work on the ground to keep him busy while other people decide to be heroes

Bolormaa didn't even intend to still be in London, but he's at the Docks when the stalactite falls. They can see it from there, see it plummeting towards the glasshouse and the people within it, and instantly the whole ship is disembarking and sprinting towards it, with him leading the pack. He's dragging people out of the rubble and away from danger, and hoping the entire time that none of these people who are beyond salvaging are ones that he cares about. He is among the first to enlist with the Admiralty to serve as their gunners, using his expertise with a cannon to the great advantage of everyone who doesn't want to see London torn to pieces as much in its defense as in its attack. He is unsure of how long he's at his post, training new people on the fly and keeping at it himself, but he is occasionally dragged away from his station to snatch a little bit of rest before he's right back to it. He doesn't have much sway back at home, he isn't an important political figure, but he sends a letter in Hudum nonetheless imploring them to send support. He doesn't love London. He isn't even sure he likes it. But that doesn't mean that everyone in it deserves to have their homes destroyed and their lives lost. When they ask for help on the airships, he's again one of the first enlisting. They need all the help they can get if they're trying to take the oculus out, missed shots don't count. When the airship starts going down, he fires off one last shot that pings off of it but doesn't do any damage. He knows the only choice is to try and land and hope that whoever is up there can come up with a better plan

Rhoda is in the Shuttered Palace when everything happens--she is in the middle of the horribly dull hobnobbing expected of her at these awful salons, when suddenly the world outside seems to be crashing down upon them. The doors lock so suddenly she doesn't even have time to register what it means, instead pressed to the windows like the other guests, trying to catch a glimpse of what it is. Nobody gets in, and nobody gets out. People who come to the Palace to beg for help are turned away without an audience, without even a shred of hope, and she's so filled with rage and disgust at the lack of any care from inside, that she shatters a window to the outside. She watches in horror at everything happening out there. There are innocent people out there. Her brother is out there. She bides her time in a frenzy of sketches of new ideas for arrangements, fungal and elegant, and then into the grotesque forms of the creatures mutilating the City. The Palace may be well stocked, but it can only hold out for so long. The first time a supply run is made, she's ready. She bolts, taking the cart with her and getting it to Jenny's headquarters where it will be defended by people who deserve to use it. She doesn't know a d___ed thing about flying, she doesn't attempt to join the airships, but that doesn't mean that she isn't busy. There is work to be done until the last plank is put up, the last injury healed, the last ship landed. This isn't her City, she doesn't love London, but she does love the people within it. It's up to its citizens to defend it themselves, and she watches with anxiety to see what happens next

#horticulture hell #fallen london #fallen london spoilers #Horticultural Show spoilers #Florence is really out here experiencing unexpected character growth from this event #anyway everyone is absolutely suffering regardless of their status in the City or their loyalties or lack thereof to it lol! teehee!#it works out but BOY does it hurt before then and take its sweet time getting there and even then it's still difficult work #this event was SO much. I write really slowly but I really wanted to at least get my thoughts out if nothing else before the hype moves on #and no one really cares about it anymore lmao

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siliconesoul · 3 years

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Happy Birthday Warren!

#my gifs #happy birthday 🍸 man #warren’s birthday spam #warren demartini #ratt #hair metal #glam metal #classic rock #rock n roll #80s #1980s #80s music #80s metal #guitar

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mercurygray · 4 years

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Hey everyone! Here in the the Band of Brothers thanks to the good folks over at @bob-events it’s Nixon Week, and in celebration of the man, the myth, and the legend, we’re spamming you all for the next week with all things Nixon. Only the best for Mrs. Nixon’s little boy, amiright?

Joan Warren comes to this drabble courtesy of my Darkening Sky universe, in which she and our favorite Battalion S2 have a mutually antagonistic, highly banter-driven friendship.

It was now the generally accepted practice that on the appointed weekend, the birthday boy didn't pay for his drinks , but it appeared that Joan had a further idea where gift-giving was concerned.

"Happy birthday, Lew."

"A present?" Lewis took the box from Joan with general surprise. "For me?"

"One generally gets those on birthdays, yes," Joan replied tartly. "You might as well open it now; it's not much and I promise it's not exciting, so there's no use drawing it out."

Lewis inspected the box, giving it an experimental shake trying to guess what might be inside. "Is it what you’re wearing later?" he asked with a roguish grin. "Joan, you shouldn't have."

She snorted. "You only wish, Lewis."

He exchanged another smirk and a shrug with the rest of the bar, taking the long, thin pasteboard box and carefully undoing the shop twine, opening the lid and pulling out the contents - a long, unobtrusive wool scarf in a shade of steely gray that would have looked quite sharp with a black brushed wool overcoat. It was, indeed, supremely uninteresting, and Joan knew it - in fact, she looked a little pained at all the attention it was getting. "You were complaining the other day about the cold and I saw that in Swindon in the window of the WI shop and I had the coupons..." She trailed off, realizing her explanation sounded a little lame. "Like I said, it's not much, but we can't have the S2 getting a sore throat or he can't give us all his lectures."

But Lewis looked pleased as punch, and took absolutely no delay in wrapping the scarf around his neck with an artistic little flourish. "I have the best work wife," he said with a smile, pulling Joan in to plant a kiss on the corner of her mouth, the woman in question resolutely refusing to submit to a kiss on the lips. There were amused sounds of "Awww" around the bar.

"Oh, get off, you." But Joan allowed herself just the smallest hint of amusement, and, perhaps because it was his birthday, did not immediately extricate herself from Lew's embrace, consenting to remain as she was for a few minutes more. "Am I really the only one here who thought to get him something?"

"YES." The reply was loud and unvaried, and the only thing she could do was roll her eyes at it.

"You're practical," Harry added with the special smile only friends can get away with, "It's what we love about you." He got an elbow in his shoulder for his trouble.

A few weeks later, the scarf was still Lewis’ constant companion. "She really did a nice job with that, then," Dick said offhandedly, catching Lewis absentmindedly fiddling with the scarf's fringe.

"No, it's..." Lew made a face. "I think this is the first birthday present I've gotten that someone picked out just for me. Not a...a trainset that the shopgirl said I’d like, something they’d...actually heard me ask for. That's all. It was thoughtful.”

"She's like that," Dick replied, thinking sadly of what his friend's childhood must have been like if, even with all that wealth and privilege, the simple gift of a scarf was enough to move him. "Thoughtful."

Lew nodded, tucking his scarf into his jacket and smoothing it down. "Almost as good as having a date wrapped around your neck," he added with another one of his mischievous grins, and, balance restored to world, they went on their way, Dick idly wondering if Joan knew his birthday was in January.

#nixonweek #joan warren #the darkening sky #lewis nixon #1940s girl gang

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smileysepe · 3 years

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okay i’ve concluded my warren foegele birthday spam you can all breathe a sigh of relief

#txt

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spacetimewraithwrites-archive · 5 years

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just a heads-up, I will not be adding my tag list to the Warren birthday prompts to save people from getting their notifications spammed, but you can see them under #WLC birthday asks when I do start posting them (or you can blacklist the tag if you don’t wanna see them).

when will I be doing that. I...don’t know. maybe right after midnight here since it’s going to be...oh god I don’t even wanna think about how much shit we’re in right now in terms of moving and packing. I can’t even talk about it lol we’re royally fucdnjsfkasdjkf

uh. anyway. maybe I’ll start posting them in like, 45 minutes.

#Don rambles #they'll get posted today there's no doubt about that #i have them all ready to post #just gotta actually hit the buttons #ok ok it's fine we're fine #everybody's fine

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cryptswahili · 5 years

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‘XRP Army’ Accused of Harrassment After Intense Debate Over the Token’s Market Cap

Over the last few months, there’s been a lot of discussion about the company Ripple Labs and the digital token XRP. A recently published report on the market valuation of XRP, authored by the cryptocurrency data startup Messari, has caused quite a stir among the community. After Messari’s founder Ryan Selkis shared an article concerning the XRP study, he claims someone called his phone and harassed him.

Also read: Fork Debate Drops to New Low, Outspoken Developer Lopp’s Home Surrounded by Police

High up Ripple Community Members and Executives Asked to Denounce Harassment

If you’ve been involved in the cryptocurrency scene on social media or forums, you probably noticed the intense debate between XRP proponents and other digital currency communities. There have been many fierce arguments in regard to Ripple Labs and XRP’s relationship, the billions of tokens held in escrow, and whether or not the network even deserves to be called a “blockchain.” Moreover, XRP has done well, as far as fiat value is concerned and has garnered a lot of attention and supporters over the last two years. More recently, however, there have been talks about a group of proponents the community has dubbed the “XRP army” and if someone makes a negative statement about the token, then a swarm of supporters will rebuke the statement and say very negative things about the individual. On Jan. 24, Messari founder Ryan Selkis shared the story about how the cryptocurrency data startup had contested XRP’s market capitalization and he received a lot of backlash on social media.

Many XRP supporters called Messari’s study “FUD” and a Ripple spokesperson said the report had “several inaccurate assumptions.” Selkis says his team sent the entire report to well known Ripple community members and executives in advance and also highlighted things they needed clarity on. Ripple chief executive Brad Garlinghouse also dismissed Messari’s study and asked: “When will media coverage of this industry mature?” However, soon after that, things went from a simple discussion to alleged harassment. According to Selkis, someone called him after the Messari study was published and intimidated him.

“Someone just called me from a Nashville number and recited my wife’s birthday to me — Then hung up — [Brad Garlinghouse] these are the type of animals you and your fucking company enable,” explained Selkis on Twitter.

After Selkis made the statement, a person responded by saying: “FYI Ryan bro, you took the first shots.” Selkis continued by saying he will be getting the FBI involved if there are a total of three harassment calls. Messari’s founder stated:

I want Ripple, [Brad Garlinghouse, Monica Long, Cory Johnson, Joel Katz, and Warren Anderson] to denounce any XRP community threats against my family. I’m going to the FBI and local police after three calls — Ensuring our family doesn’t get swatted.

Community Members Discuss Past Memories of Crypto-Harassment and Threats

The harassment has brought back memories of other cryptocurrency industry members and developers who have also been harassed in the past. The well known bitcoin developer Jeff Garzik had a similar experience when he was the lead maintainer of the Segwit2x project. “This is what happened to me and my family during Segwit2x brouhaha and local police and the FBI were called then, too — There are some sick parts of this community,” Garzik explained on Twitter in response to the statements Selkis made.

In response to Garzik’s tweet, Bitcoin developer Jameson Lopp asked him: “On a scale of 0 to 10 how helpful did you find law enforcement to be?” Lopp was also harassed last year allegedly because of the Segwit2x scaling debate as well. In fact, the developer was “swatted,” an act when someone calls the local swat police to barge down on someone’s home when they haven’t committed a crime. During the early morning hours, Durham, North Carolina police were dispatched to Lopp’s home as they were told there was a hostage situation.

So far there’s been a lot of community response on forums and social media in regard to Selkis telling Ripple executives and developers they should denounce this behavior.

What do you think about the so-called “XRP army” on forums and social media? What do you think about the experience Selkis has had with Ripple’s most faithful proponents? Let us know what you think about this subject in the comments section below.

Image credits: Shutterstock, and Twitter.

At news.Bitcoin.com all comments containing links are automatically held up for moderation in the Disqus system. That means an editor has to take a look at the comment to approve it. This is due to the many, repetitive, spam and scam links people post under our articles. We do not censor any comment content based on politics or personal opinions. So, please be patient. Your comment will be published.

The post ‘XRP Army’ Accused of Harrassment After Intense Debate Over the Token’s Market Cap appeared first on Bitcoin News.

[Telegram Channel | Original Article ]

#cryptocurrency

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thegloober · 6 years

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One-Minute Life Hacks

A) WAITER’S PAD HACK

There are two uses:

BUSINESS MEETING:

Everyone pulls out their fascist Moleskine notebooks and you pull out your waiter’s pad.

First thing that happens is the alpha male in the room says, “I’ll take fries with that burger”.

This bad joke happens 100% of the time. Homework assignment: come up with the best joke in response.

Second thing that happens: “Why do you have a waiter’s pad?”

Answer:

It’s easy to write notes.

Easy to keep track of the names around the table (since at the top of a check are tables which you can write names to remember).

They are cheap. 10 cents a pad with the right supplier.

This makes you the center of attention at the meeting. It says you are serious about taking notes.

And most important, it shows you are frugal and will care about not wasting people’s money.

A waiter’s pad is MONEY IN THE BANK.

Second use:

RESTAURANT:

When I sit down, I simply pull out a waiter’s pad and put it next to me on the table.

Now the waiters think I’m in “the biz” and I never have any problems with service.

This is not even a one-minute hack. It’s a 10-second hack.

B) LIE DETECTION HACK

If someone does not answer your question, they are lying.

Example: “Hi honey, where’d you go last night?”

Your honey: “I was out with friends.”

Notice: he or she did not answer the question. Which means somewhere in there is a lie.

Example: “Are all expenses included in this estimate?”

Answer: “Sure, unless we see something unusual.”

Did not answer the question. So you will be paying more.

This technique always works. Great for people who are paranoid (like me).

C) LIE DETECTION HACK #2

You’re sitting and one person has a rolling chair. You ask a bunch of easy questions. They answer and sit still.

Now you ask harder questions. Like, “Hey, where were you that night?”

“I was at home.” And they start to roll away on the chair.

Lying.

This works for anything with these two conditions:

It’s easy for them to move.

You can ask easy-to-answer questions to start to establish that they are sitting still when truthful.

This is a very common interrogation technique.

Both of these were told me by a former DIA (Defense Intelligence Agency) interrogator who now runs his own private intelligence agency.

D) NETWORKING HACK

Even if you don’t smoke, always carry around a pack of cigarettes.

Situations where this works:

Smoking break. Someone you want to network with is at a restaurant and takes a smoking break. You can follow them outside and start a conversation.

The back-technique. You leave your cigarettes behind right before someone you want to network with is sitting down (at a restaurant, club, meeting, etc.). You go back, “Ugh, left my cigarettes here.” And you start to talk.

Believe it or not, everyone in the CIA carries cigarettes around all the time for this reason.

This was told to me by a former “black ops” soldier who wouldn’t tell me “yes” or “no” when I asked him if he was still in the CIA.

E) INTERVIEW / SPEAKING HACK

You start off saying, “I’m sure the others you’ve interviewed have all been great and qualified.” Or.. (for speaking), “Let’s give a hand for all the others before me.”

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT COGNITIVE BIAS:

This is called “choice ambiguity bias”.

When you say the word “other”, the audience lumps everyone into one aggregated being.

Or your potential boss lumps everyone into one aggregated (and forgettable) person they interviewed.

They literally won’t be able to remember anything about the others before you and you will stand out.

Related to this is recency bias. Try to be the last person interviewed or the last person to speak on the agenda. The most “recent” is always the most remembered and if you combine this with choice ambiguity bias, you will create the most memorable impression by far.

All of this was told to me by a professor of cognitive biases when I needed help winning a public speaking contest.

F) WRITING HACK

What’s great about this hack is that even if you know the rule, it still works:

After you write ANYTHING, take out the first paragraph and the last paragraph and it will 99% of the time be better written. I did it with this post, for instance.

G) EMAIL HACK

I do this every day.

I go back seven–10 years in my email history (I store everything).

There are many emails I haven’t responded to. In my inbox (not my spam box), I have 271,109 unread emails at this moment.

I go back to an email I didn’t respond to and I respond as if the email was sent to me five seconds ago.

Like: “Sure, I’ll meet for coffee on Tuesday!”

This almost always results in a new connection/fun meeting/whatever. Note: most jobs.

One time I did this when someone in 2004 sent me an email saying, “Hey, James, I bought you “jamesaltucher.com” for your birthday.”

I finally wrote him in 2010. We’re good friends now AND I own “jamesaltucher.com”.

The longest email response delay I did was 12 years.

H) THE ONE SECOND HAPPINESS HACK

Happiness = Reality / Expectations.

You can’t change your reality quickly. But you can change your expectations in a second.

When my wife left me, I couldn’t change the reality. I couldn’t make her stay.

I was sad, scared, miserable, depressed.

But I could change expectations. I could say, “perhaps this is for the best” and figure out the reasons why and have hope for the future.

I’m not saying it’s easy to do that in a second. But it’s possible. And that changes immediately how happy you can be.

We are all dealt a new hand of cards every few seconds. You play the hand you are dealt instead of whining about it. That’s how to win.

My therapist once told me this. She’s the best.

I) THE 5/25 RULE

This is from Warren Buffett.

He told me this when we were jet-skiing in Hawaii.

He said, “Take your top 25 things you want to do in life.”

Then, “Put the first five to your left and the next 20 to your right.”

“NEVER NEVER NEVER look at the bottom 20 again.”

Why?

Because the bottom 20 are all things you want to do. So they will distract you from the five things you want to do the MOST.

By the way, I was kidding about the jet skiing. That is clearly in his six–10 and not in his top five. And it’s not even in my top 1000.

J) THE LOVABLE RULE

There’s a saying that’s now cliché: “You are the average of the five people around you.”

Fair enough.

Harold Ramis also says, “Stand next to the smartest person in the room.” So he stood next to Bill Murray and made Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, and Groundhog Day.

(Sitting next to the smartest person in the room)

Again, fair enough.

But not enough.

BE THE PERSON that people want to stand next to.

Everyone is looking for their five. Everyone is looking for the person to stand next to.

Seth Godin once asked me, “What books do people buy?”

I didn’t know.

He said, “They buy the books that are already on the bestseller table.”

Be the sort of person who is on the bestseller table.

Again, while kite surfing in the Mediterranean, I asked Warren Buffett, “How do you define success?” And he said, “By how many people love you.”

And then he said, before I could ask, “You get people to love you by being lovable.”

K) THE ADVICE HACK

This hack has helped me so much I’m almost afraid to share it.

Let’s say you want something (call it “X”) from a person (call the person “Y”).

Ask Y for advice on how to get X.

For instance, let’s say you get a job offer and you are negotiating a salary. Your new boss asks how much you want to get (he’s trying to get you to put a price first).

Now use the advice hack.

You say, “Listen, I’m good at what I do, which is why you are hiring me. But you are the pro at managing and negotiating. If you were me how would you negotiate here?”

You can even throw in an anchor bias by saying, “If you were me, how would you negotiate here, given that I’ve heard (say very high number) is a reasonable number.”

You’ve just done several things:

Reaffirmed their status above you (everyone likes that)

Anchored them on a high number (you won’t get it but the number you get is now going to play off a high “anchor”).

Asked them to guide you specifically on how to get what you want. Since they are giving the advice, they won’t deny you once you follow it.

I’ve used this when negotiating with customers, investors, bosses, publishers, even getting podcast guests.

And if I get rejected for something important to me, I use this hack. (“What advice would you give me if I wanted to pitch this again to someone like you?”)

I’ve been using this technique for 25 years.

L) LEAVE THE SMARTPHONE AT HOME

Yuval Harari (author of Sapiens) told me he didn’t have a smartphone. I drilled him on this and then I’ve been trying it myself ever since.

The average person touches their smart phone 2,600 times a day!

The average person is using their smart phone for 4 hours and 40 minutes a day!

People think it might help with productivity but it doesn’t. Most of the time we’re checking mindless social media, liking Instagram photos, reading useless news, playing games, etc.

I take a book with me when I go out. So I’m now reading and thinking a lot more.

And when I get home I catch up on my emails and social media messages: since I’m focused on it at that point it takes me just a few minutes instead of spreading it out throughout the day.

I probably save two or three hours a day with this one hack. And I read a lot more and enjoy my downtime more (no pressures to respond to messages all day long).

I have more.

Let me ask you for advice!

I want to build up my Instagram presence. Should I post one hack a day on Instagram? I hope you can follow me there because I post lots of hacks there.

M) “BECAUSE” HACK

This is incredibly useful.

There’s a study that showed that if you say:

“You should pay me more because I will work harder” you are more likely to get a raise than if you just say “You should pay me more.”

BUT EVEN MORE INTERESTING….

People don’t even care what you say after the word “because”. This is the “because placebo”.

If you just say “You should pay me more because you should pay me more” then the results were EXACTLY the same as when you gave a valid reason and still handedly beat out the line “You should pay me more”.

So always use “because” when you are asking for something and you don’t have to have anything after the “because”.

I don’t consider these “life hacks”.

I do these things every day. And I am constantly studying more ways to improve my life.

I love writing. I love doing stand-up comedy. I love succeeding at business and helping people.

I use these tools and many more so I can have more time and opportunities to focus on the things I love.

When I focus on the things I love, I can say I have FREEDOM. The more time per day I am making decisions based on my loves, the more freedom I have.

These “one-minute hacks” give me freedom.

Because.

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