#we'll see if i can get through it still

[dovewingkinnie]

part 7 to the stitched au (i have returned to it after a few months hello) (previous part) (first part)

#i am back #returned!! #now you get to feel how long william was waiting in springtrap! #fnaf stitched au #william afton #purple guy #its a funny story on how i returned to making this comic #we'll see if i can get through it still #for now #enjoy some more william suffering

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: ADHD FOR SMART ASS WOMEN: HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR NEURODIVERGENT BRAIN by Tracy Otsuka.

I saw this on a new release promotional email and thought "well shit, that looks like my life, I should Investigate That™," only to realize it was a brand new hardback and I didn't want to pay $29 for 200 pages of information. Since I found out about it on release day, my next thought was, "Oh, I can check and see if my library has any copies!! We love supporting our libraries in this house!!"

Reader: They did Not.

But! I did find the "request a book" option on their website, and I entered this book, and I got a robocall within a week saying my hold was ready to be picked up! Y'all!! The library literally ordered this book for me (it was stamped into circulation one (1) day before they called me!), and now I have it to read! I love libraries!!

(book pic featuring the super cute coaster set @asexualbookbird made me that I love with my entire heart!!)

#books of 2024 #book photography #adhd for smart ass women #tracy otsuka #did i flinch a little bit at the gendering?? perhaps. #however. i suspect. despite that. it will STILL have so much information relevant to me #i've only flipped through it briefly so far but i'm fascinated about the nutrition section so i'll be reading the shit out of that #i have less than 14 days i need to get on this lol #in my defense: i was trying to finish falcon #and next up is dragon #i did not think a library book would be first on my New Books of 2024 list but here we are #i really do still want to read the architecture books and a BUNCH OF OTHER SHIT #gotdamn dragon is such a chonker #i'll be reading bitch queen forever i think #khine my beloved #anyway i don't think i can speedread this and i don't really want to?? #i'm gonna have to take Notes #on anything i want to remember #we'll see if there's much in there or not *eyes*

[rookflower]

Finchlight? (We need the evolved Finchpaw)

#warrior cats #warriors #wc #finchlight #asc #nightheart #sparkpelt #she has a growth spurt through asc and takes a lot after bramblestar physically #i still dont know where she and night get the ear tufts from.... larksong once i eventually redesign him probably #i liked her teal eyes but begrudgingly swapped them to mostly yellow to fit more with canon. we'll see in future tho #(i didnt want to give her one yellow and one fully blue-ish eye bc flipclaw has the modern thunderclan monopoly on that design decision) #she can have half an aqua eye as a treat

[throttlegainwell]

There's no real need for this story (Safelight) to go so hard with the Stoncy vibes, since I didn't intend it to be shippy, and yet it is undeniably taking shape as a Stoncy fic.

#safelight wip #writing tag #you know what i think it's because this fic is so unbelievably cruel to jonathan in a particularly awful way #so i'm just like pouring on the support as hard as possible to make up for it #not to say that anyone in the byers family is having a good time in this fic #they most assuredly are not #but yeah i feel bad about what i'm putting jonathan through #tbh i'm still not sure how this plot gets resolved without just straight-up moving #i think they may have to leave hawkins in the end but i'm undecided on that point so far #we'll see whether i can clean up the mess i've made of their lives in this one

[vulpinesaint]

it's me and all the women in literature described in despondent unhappiness in a marriage that they don't hate but don't enjoy as they should and who feel as if they're not the way a woman should be and who yearn to be free of their husband and children not because they despise them but because they're not for a husband and children and who can't say that they're miserable but who feel a numb kind of despair in all that disconnectedness and disconnectedness and disconnectedness. they are just like me for real

#we have the same kind of depression 👍 but also. i can see so clearly that that's the way i would be if i still thought i was a girl. #and i had grown up to get married to someone and tried to be a woman and a mother like that. god... #edna pontellier hold on. i'm going out into the sea with you. we'll drown together. #laura brown from the hours on my kin list 👍 #need to reread the hours so bad. opened up my copy of it to check if laura had killed herself at the end or not for this post #and just skimming the last few chapters made me tear up. god. but there are still the hours aren't there? one and then another... #and then you get through that one and then my god there's another... #um. books that make you go 'okay so maybe i have wanted to kill myself a little bit all these years. but maybe i'm going to be okay' #the book ever honestly it is Everything to me #and kate chopin's the awakening is good as well. much to be said about the depiction of people of color in that novel #but the depiction of edna pontellier's mental state is so. ough. #glances at the ratings on goodreads nd stuff have made me so irritated. #god forbid a woman commit the ultimate selfish sin of leaving her children behind because she's so miserable by killing herself. #because far worse than the thought that she could be losing all her personhood moment by moment #and wasting her life away feeling like a shell of a person #pales. in comparison to the thought that she could POSSIBLY abandon the children she didn't really want to have. #of course it's a bad situation for the kids. sorry to raoul and etienne. but they will survive. #condemning the main character for having the audacity to go off and die... sickening. i hate people #valentine notes

[mattodore]

best part of having ocs is that i can just write them doing whatever i want. like i can just do anything with them and it's like oh yeah. that's happening. and no one can be like hang on you can't do that bc actually i can since they're mine <3

#river dipping #like hell yeah brother of course i make aus for my ocs and daydream about them as like. vampires or whatever #anyway hello :) i really meant it when i said the suck session finale would put me out of commission for a few days #there's a ton to catch up on i bet but i'll take my time with it... tho i will be checking on kmik and valentine gen. 3 EXPEDITIOUSLY #i'm actually busy in google docs atm tho!! i'm using oc questionnaires to further flesh out mattodore. i 100% yoinked these questions #from an ask game i saw. there's like... sixty of them? theo's doc is already like 2k long and i still have ten more questions to answer... #matthias's questionnaire is finished but now i feel bad that his is only 1.8k so i might go back and add more... #sorry matthias </3 maybe be a little more nuanced as a character next time #i'll probably be posting these here actually so i can put them in my oc extras tag... tho idk how well the formatting will carry over #what else... oh i finally started working on editing the photos i took of mattodore back in march (and showed a bit of before) #i don't think i'm going to edit them as intensely as i did my pinned post bc that was... very time consuming... but we'll see #i wound up selecting just eight photos but that's still eight photos to edit so... hm. idk when i'll post 'em #oh and it's pride month!! so i'm determined to at least try to make the two final characters from echthroi this month... #i think i'm kind of getting an image of jackson going now but everett still alludes me... i'm also thinking abt changing her name #these two have gone through so many changes in the last seven months character-wise... fdgfhjkfgh #dutchie too tbf like his name originally was EDWIN... smh #OH....... and i see i have messages i need to reply to i'm sawrry </3 i will get to them........... i swear................................

[orcelito]

Since I've got some life insurance money now, I keep ordering packages. Birthday gifts, household necessities/utility things that I've wanted but haven't bought b4 now for whatever reason (an electric kettle, a portable speaker, more outlet strips, wood cleaner, some cubbies for one of my new cabinets, etc), and Also a few frivolous nice things for myself (like the figurine, and the dice, and some comic books)

I'm expecting it to slow down after I've gotten things more settled, but I rly wonder what the post ppl think of me rn. Like "this bitch again?" I'm sorry post people I am simply trying to sort out my life rn. I promise I will be less annoying in time.

#speculation nation #birthday gifts not listed bc my sister follows me here lol. but theyre for her. #i think ive gotten everything im gonna get for her bday tho 🤔🤔 at least from online. we'll see if i see anything out and about lol #part of me going a little ham with it now that i financially Can. part of me wanting to make sure she gets plenty of gifts #considering. well. we wont get any more gifts from dad. #which Wow that still stings huh. just gonna try to not think about that too much lol #anyways im working on a bunch of cleaning rn. washing my sheets and tidying and cleaning the floors #my apartment is in A State after we shoved all the shit from my dad's place in here. #so many boxes to go through and unpack and organize #the good thing is i have much more furniture to put things in. i just have to actually Do it. #blegh. so much work. but it must be done.... #buuuuut! i have a portable speaker now 😌 so i am listening to music as i go. hell yea

[chronicsheepdrawing]

KOSA Bill. In three days, the bill will either pass or be disgarded. Please reblog and sign petitions. to help stop the bill by going to the stop kosa tag so we can not let the bill pass!

The definition of not safe for work content that would be censored under KOSA is vague and would of course target the LGBT community.

#not art #I'm so tired okay #A Tennessee Governor has allowed public officials to deny same sex marriages if it makes them uncomfortable #Alabama ruled that frozen embryos count as children #and would make it so women trying to get pregnant through IVF can only do so one egg at a time #Even if the egg is knowingly not viable #This process takes months and would be for nothing #Cops can open fire on you or run you over and joke about it with no consequences #As well as cop cities opening over the majority of states and being supported by Israel where they can better train our police in abuse #The industry I want to go into is experiencing massive layoffs and people simply aren't valued as it's all about shareholders and investors #And to top it all off the planet is still dying due to climate change caused by oil and gas companies and their CEOs #Both me and my mom are unemployed and we definitely couldn't afford the place we've been provided if it weren't for assistance #And I'm worried something will get screwed up and we'll just get evicted and this'll all be for nothing #I just don't see the point anymore #I only exist to provide shelter to my family as the apartment is in my name and to hopefully try and pay back those have donated to me #Besides that I just go through every day not seeing any upside to continuing to live but not committed to die

[chewablepebbles]

Going up to the lake tomorrow after work to start the new year with some fishing and quiet contemplation

#date was nice! dont think ill schedule another one i didnt click too much #i need someone that can match my energy at least 50% of the time #still have more to go though so we'll see #i cant wait to be at the lake. all that rich dirt for me to dig through. im going to set up a feeder for the bluebirds #get some blueberry and blackberry patches ready for planting #write some stuff for the new conference this semester

[todayisafridaynight]

Lmao you should tell your dad to take you camping sometime when you'd we him this weekend!

my dad and my sister have this chronic condition called 'making plans and either forget or life comes upon them last minute and bites them in the ass so we have to cancel and """reschedule""" <- we never reschedule' so i dont think that's in the cards LMAO

#snap chats #if i were to look through all the texts sent between my dad and i growing up it'd just be like #'ill see you X Date' and then the day of or the day before my dad'll be like 'sorry something came up :( we'll try next week' #Spoilers we wouldn't try next week and we prob won't talk for months after that #my sister's similar tho she's like. 2% better about it but that's cause we reside in the same household. sometimes #she has friends and a boyfriend so sometimes she stays with them LOL #still i've just learned that they always end up too busy to spend time with me which is FINE #i get it life's busy for everyone so i try not to let it get me down too much it's bonkers to assume they can put aside other things for me #its my fault for not having friends to spend my time with so i just have to. work on that. somehow LOL #for camping though maybe i can bully my dad into taking me for my birthday... #tho just seeing him would be a good enough present and the best chance of that's just us goin to the city and not doin anythin crazy #i love the city so it's win-win either way LOL #ok ill wrap up my Monthly Required dad rant OOPSSIEE

[byanyan]

hmmm, hit the ♡ for a little one-liner starter?

#priority will go to new mutuals & people i don't currently have threads with #but everyone can like & i'll see how many i can do before i lose steam #i was gonna wait until i got through more of my drafts but you know what? i'm impatient lmao #i want mooorrreeee #might still try to get more drafts done before i start any of these but we'll see how things go uvu #and ofc just because things start as one-liners doesn't mean they have to stay that way #just makes it a little easier on me to get things going lmao #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ STARTER CALL ⋮ KEEP YOUR WOODEN WEDGES UNDER DOORS.

[toytulini]

hit tag limit on the last post cos i started talking about roller coasters again 😔

#toy txt post #wish there was a way for me to like. Do. something. with my roller coaster hyperfixation. but im not an engineer i dont want to design them #thats so scary and i couldnt be a ride op cos im scared of riding most of them (disclaimer I KNOW HOW SAFE THEY ARE THATS NOT THE PROBLEM #I DONT HANDLE THE PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE OF THRILL RIDES FILLING ME WITH ADRENALINE VERY WELL IT CAUSES ME PAIN #i do not enjoy it. but i love to see coasters and watch them and read about them 🥺 and also sometimea i read about. the incidents which #felt like very foolish at first like okay this isnt gonna help me get comfortable riding them but honestly actually it did help? #to see how many of the incidents are like. truly like either freak accidents or someone fucked up #but like the rides safety mechanisms usually are very good and not the reason for an accident. most errors seem to be like. act of god or #like. operator or rider error. and some of the operator errors are kind of terrifying BUT ALSO seem like things that can be prevented #maybe the new wave of unionizing in the us will sweep into theme park employees and make sure theyre paid well and recieve good benefits #and that they are not pressured to prioritize profits or faster throughput at the expense of safety. and (really optimistic i know) maybe #we as a society and culture can unlearn our systemic fatphobia to the point that its doable to turn someone away for being #too big to ride safely without making them feel like shit or like its their fault and MAYBE we'll even possibly just maybe figure out how #to make rides that can actually accommodate larger guests safely so they can participate in the fun without fear or bodyshaming #logically i know theres no way to remove 100% of risk and that there is still heightened risk especially for ppl w various #medical conditions but idk i think we as a society can keep theme parks and do them well. i believe in us. #i should go to more of them....ive been to like. not that many but i do still have favorites #hershey my beloved. i LOVE how visible all the coasters are all the time i LOVE the skyview going right through great bears track #i hope i can go again this yr and see the new wildcat 🥺 absolutely not going to ride that fucking thing but i am definitely going to stare #at it. jenn if youre reading this i cannot fucking believe you got me to ride og wildcat honestly #p sure that rattle gave me a headache and i would not do it again that was a rough fucking ride lol but im glad u somehow got me into that #i have. such a complicated relationship with being peer pressured onto rides lol #like on the one hand i do need that a little bit or i definitely wont do it but on the other. being forced onto comet as a child was #slightly traumatizing and definitely marked my turn from wanting to ride all the coasters to jot wanting to ride anything #to my parents credit on that one they do recognize it as a mistake and were sorry about it like immediately so i dont hold it against them #but also dont. force ur children to ride coasters lol. but i do need to go spend a day at hershey just forcing myself to ride great bear #over and over. fav coaster best coaster. its so fucking loud. its shaped so good. pretty color scheme. its constellation themed #i do love and am obsessed with how hershey packs all those tracks together like that it looks so cool i love to see it #candymonium right at the entrance like that is Extremely distracting very immediately

[chaotictomtom]

trying to check out to see if i'll ever manage to get top surgery this year and. let's just say i thought the delay would be bigger but. the price is still always such a big ass problem i kinda wanna bash my head against a wall but. anyway

#living with 600/month and having no idea if i'll ever get a job after this semi-work that ends in march but. oh well!!! #already tried to calculate if i could ever save any money from the little time i get to work there but!!! only make me wanna cry #im afraid this will be another year w/o top surgery 😀 dying in the summer and wishing to rip my skin off. w/o the hope i'll at least #get a date some day. cos at this rate i have absolutely no hope ngl. #the whole organisation to get to one of the potential surgeon 2h away is already making me want to explode #i have absolutely no idea how i'll ever be able to pull this off. ever. i don't even know if we'll be able to stay in this flat by the end #of our contracts. so. yeah #i can't see past 4 months away how can i think i'll ever be able to start this thing going. trying to but i stay silly ing the situation but #!!!!! im so desperate i feel so drained and exhausted. the mere idea of summer makes me wanna kms i'm dreading going through it another year #smh. #absolutely no one gives a shit i shouldn't vent in da tags for the 1 day of the yea #but im suddenly hit with an enormous wave of despair that i know won't go away cos it's always on my mind #and seeing the facts once again that i'll prob never be able to afford it is not helpiiiinh #yes i live in france no not everything is paid by healthcare cos it's still considered as non vital </3333 #dental/ear/teeth problems started to get fully refundable (on specific little things) only a few years ago #so we're like decades of getting top surgery refunded 100% im afraid</3 #i shouldn't complain but then again what's the use of cool healthcare if we can't ever have access to a doctor. of any kind. #smh smh smh #rent over I'm sick of myself i'll shut up sorry

[vulpinesaint]

bed covered in books feeling fucking fanTASTIC

#READING IS SUCH A THRILL DID Y'ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS #i've acquired two books off that queerplatonic ace rep rec list so far and i am. thrilled about it #the first one is not like. Extraordinary haha but i read like two hundred and sixty pages last night and it was enjoyable! #i have to remember that ya fiction is ya fiction sometimes. haha #but!!! ordered another one online (first one is a library book which was SO fulfilling to go grab) and it got here today and i'm SO pumped #reviews online were largely positive + complimented the like. visuals and dark fairy tale feel to it #and while one review said that the prose wasn't that good (i am always looking for writing that is Technically good) #(technically as in like. the technical aspects of it are well done. it's well executed) #i am still excited about the kind of character dynamics it promises me #i'll take some clumsy prose if it gets me platonic intimacy. i swear to god i will #ALSO IT'S ABOUT THE WILD HUNT AND I AM SO OBSESSED WITH THE WILDHUNT #and i was promised nonbinary knight character??? so. new fixation incoming perhaps #only choice now is whether to finish the first one or jump right into the next haha #i have what. less than a hundred pages of not even bones to finish? #i should get through that one haha #apparently it's a trilogy and the qpr comes in later so :rolling_eyes: #we'll see if i'm invested enough #or i'll read the webtoon or smth haha #I FUCKING LOVE THE LIBRARY I CAN REQUEST + HOLD THE NEXT TWO BOOKS #god. using public utilities is such a rush #anyway!!!! excited excited :) #valentine notes

[yohankang]

btw sorry for the influx of negative posts but this is. literally a life defining moment for me and i'm scared shitless so <3 i'll calm down in a week i just need to be dramatic first

#just burst into tears on my way home 🙃 #just had a realization that therapy really did help me and i am in a better place now. but at the same time #it's really fucking disheartening to realize that if something bad happened you wouldn't be getting any help from your parents. again! #because why would they learn from their mistakes lmao #lately they've been just. so mean to me for no fucking reason. and it's fine usually but not now #i'm like okay! i'm starting my life again! we'll see how it goes #and they're like btw if you fuck up this time you'll be the only one to blame :) also we won't help you because you're an adult :) #like i did not!!! fucking ask!!!! #i did ask for a bit of your support though and got yelled at in return!!! #sometimes i'm just. amazed. like holy shit you guys can be normal but sometimes you're cartoonishly mean. #like i asked my father if he could ask his friend if i could sleep at his place one night. and the response i got? #'until you've proved your worth to me i have no reason to help you' like HELLO. this is. wow #he says shit like that all the time unprompted #he acts like i'm a criminal or something lmao but what i did wrong was dropping out of uni. #after 2 years of fighting with officials about something i had no control over and getting fucked over again and again #like sorry i could not take it anymore! #i restored most of my self-confidence through therapy but this shit sometimes gets to you. yk #godddd i am getting so personal it's fucking embarrassing but i promise it's the last time <3 or i hope so lmao #i just have to survive this week. i will calm down after first 2 days of classes. #and if after that i'll decide i'm not ready yet? then i still have my job and enough time to try again #yeah i'm trying to convince myself at this point abjsvjscjs #k.txt #dl #btw this sounds way dramatic than it actually is so <3 don't you worry about me i'll be back to normal soon

[crystal-verse]

FREE TRIAL IS GETTING EXPANDED UP TO STORMBLOOD LET'S GOOOOO

#bound with thread | original posts #letters in verse | talking #i am a free trial player so im LIVING #im honestly a bit glad that ive not finished HW yet bc now once i get to post-HW i can still get exp and such #though alas idk if i'll have the minimum 8gb ram and whatever fancy graphics are required by that point #we'll see i suppose #aaah i'm very excited though! hopefully the graphics updates don't kill my laptop #or. hopefully i'll be able to get a new laptop with better ram and graphics by that point #one of the two #anyways ive not finished watching through post-shb yet but i did watch the dawntrail trailer and im v excited