#what was the information? beats me!

[bookwyrminspiration]

you remind me of the amoeba sisters, but like kotlc. in a good way

Oh what a delightful comparison! I gotta be honest I haven't watched any of the amoeba sisters in a significant capacity for about five years so I'm not quite sure what it is about me that reminds you of them, but I'm nevertheless flattered!

I would be very curious to know your reasoning, but there's no pressure to explain it. I just like knowing things and always have questions and right now is no different.

I know there's a purple one and a pink one and they're blobs (amoebas) and they talk about science. So am I a little blob that talks about keeper? I think that'd be fun! I also think it'd be fun if the visual for me and my blog was just my little skull pfp rambling on about random things

and now I am starting to ramble, so before I get carried away: thanks, nonsie! I appreciate the compliment :)

#kotlc #quil's queries #nonsie #there was a fair amount of the amoeba sisters in seventh grade #and I think like. one video by them in my anatomy class a year or two ago #but that's about it. i remember one of them (purple?) had a really upbeat voice #and the videos were pretty informational #what was the information? beats me!

[cheese-water]

My favorite thing about the Sunny and Leo egg beef is that it’s so fucking real. We’ve all had that one kid that our parents or siblings expect us to be besties with but just didn’t care for them at best and couldn’t stand them at worst. Or a time when our parents’ friends are over and they brought their kid so we have to play together even though they’re unbearable. Or even a classmate that simply annoyed us by existing that we’re forced to invite because of our parents.

These definitely aren’t the kindest or the most emotional mature of thoughts but it’s the truth, especially for young child. And as someone who was once a confident, bossy, self-proclaimed princess themself, some kids were definitely off put by my presence. However, I’d say that more people annoying the fuck out of me in comparison.

#qsmp #qsmp eggs #qsmp leonarda #qsmp sunny #qsmp sunnysideup #take that as you will lmaoooo #I was so bossy as a baby it was amazing #for me at least #anyway hot take leo isn’t a bully and sunny isn’t defenseless #A lot of the arguments I see about bully leo is based on information that leo wouldn’t canonically know #like how would she know sunny hates gross things #Leo genuinely thinks sunny started the beef she’s not beating up sunny for fun like please #Also when sunny is in the mood she can fucking clap back and I’m not sorry she has self respect #she’s so iconic that even some doozers in chat said we’re like “damn I know what side I’m on but she kinda cooked” #yap yap yap

[time-is-restored]

btw this might be me swinging a bat at a hornets nest but like. absolutely none of my disappointment from the tl finale comes from ship baiting or any relationships that didn’t happen (though to be clear, i think the tedbecca fake outs were meanspirited and served no narrative purpose - in noted contrast to the season's earlier jamiekeeley fakeouts, for example, which were explicitly there to demonstrate jamie's growth + maturity)

tedpendant is a really fun concept for me, and i LOVE the characterisation + thematic potential there!

but as someone who personally resonated with a lot of ted’s struggles, the idea that ted could leave richmond so… seamlessly, for lack of a better word, really doesn’t sit right with me. the thesis of the shows entire first season - assuming it can be said to have only one - was about how everyone needs the love and support of a community, whether that comes in the flavour of someone who hypes u tf up or someone who will relentlessly call u on ur shit (or, as happened quite frequently, both!).

rebecca, roy, jamie are the clearest examples as the characters with the most screentime: they were all deeply isolated and disconnected from the people around them, and that was making them miserable. the connections they made with the team, the vulnerability they finally allowed themselves to express (the ghost banishing ceremony comes to mind!), and them going on to want *more* out of their life are what made their arcs about *progression* rather than *regression*. without that clear theme of compassion + community inspiring positive growth in everyone who encounters it, there is, frankly, no season one.

my personal favourite scene from season one comes right after michelle walks away from ted, when they’ve agreed to get divorced. ted sits down on the bench looking gutted, and a little shell shocked - and beard sits down with him. hands him the drink, and they sit there together. silent, but together. to me, that scene is an implicit promise from the episode, to the audience: ‘it’ll be okay. it’s going to be hard, but ted isn’t alone, and his friends won’t leave him behind.’

it also makes it clear to the audience that ted isn’t the saintly-giver-of-grace who needs nothing in return, as one might assume on first brush, but rather that he’s Also struggling with his own shit (as is everyone, always, in real life!) and he has something he needs from the people around him too.

and looking at the text of s3, and the conclusion to his arc in the finale, i just don’t believe that he got it. he wasn’t just sad that he was leaving (which would be understandable!), he was completely closed off. unresponsive to the people around him reaching out, borderline confused as to why they were trying so hard!

(side note, while i completely respect the read of ted and trents last interaction being rather rude + ooc on ted’s part, i personally read a different motive into it. for me, it was more like… he didn’t understand where trents enthusiasm was coming from? like, he read that as trent being too invested in what other people think of him, and responded in a way that he hoped would emphasise that ted doesn’t *need* to laugh at everything trent wrote, bc trent Already Knows that he’s done something really cool and kickass, and he shouldn’t value anyone else’s reactions above that. basically, based on his demeanour in the episode, i genuinely don’t think it would’ve even occurred to him that trent was more invested in HIS reaction than he would’ve been with anyone else.)

again, looking purely at the text, the show had already established that ted has really strong depressive + avoidant tendencies, as well as panic attacks (largely triggered by his fear of not being ‘good enough’ in various roles, ie: a father). we saw one area he was able to calm HIMSELF abt these fears (worry for henry, which is a Hell of a choice considering the ending…), but in literally every other heightened moment, he had to rely on his support system to help him make the choices that he WANTED to make, rather than ones inspired by avoidance and fear (ie: confronting michelle abt jake, talking to his mum abt why she was visiting + his dads death).

and to be clear, this is a GOOD THING! we’re not supposed to go through life alone, no matter how bad OR well we’re doing. rebecca and keeleys friendship isn’t worth less for all the scenes where they’re both in good places. if anything, the opposite is true - it’s lovely that they both have someone who want to celebrate the achievements in their life!

and fuck it, we’re sure as hell not supposed to go through life with exactly one (1) person whom we expect to fulfill ALL of our emotional needs at all times either! like, im sure i don’t need to labour my point here, but tying everything to one (1) person in ur life doesn’t make u any less isolated than if u were going it completely alone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner. i won’t pretend to know the first thing abt what it’s like to be a parent, but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that no parent would be at their best if they had absolutely no support/camaraderie/general love provided to them from Anyone other than their child.

so when ted is SPECIFICALLY shown to be in a bad place, over and over again (did he come to terms w his fear to be close to henry overnight???????), and then removed from his community? of COURSE the audience is left feeling unsettled, and like the rug has been pulled out from under them. there was no time in this finale dedicated to how ted would still be in contact with anyone from richmond. no promises of visits, or phone calls - fuck, nothing about emails!! according to the text, we might as well assume this is a clean break (and the maybe-dream-sequence does Fuck All to assure us otherwise. if ted doesn’t go to beards wedding, what WOULD he go to????). and since the show has ALSO completely failed to give us even an IMPLICATION of who/what ted’s support system would be in kansas, there’s… a reasonable argument to be made that this is It for ted. that, after two seasons doing NOTHING but attesting otherwise, the audience is supposed to suddenly believe that ted can (and SHOULD!) pull himself up by his bootstraps, and cope entirely on his own.

that, to me, is a betrayal of the show’s premise. we were promised a show about how, no matter how dark things may get, none of the characters would be left to struggle alone. and then they ended the show with ted alone.

i don’t know. i guess if i had to give this post a tldr; if anyone has any gen fic/meta/Literally Anything in the pipeline, i would absolutely love to be tagged/directed towards it. i’ll be endeavouring to write something myself, as well, but it might take a while before i can return to my WIP, lol.

#this is the most measured version of this post i was capable of fghjskdjhgfdgjhsfd #the least measured one is just the aromantic flag with the ‘we are going to beat u to death’ meme overlaid #look ik this is hardly impartial wrt very small + insular communities like nuclear families #but its fucking impossible to go into media analysis and not bring Anything from ur real life in there w u #so im trying to forgive myself for being a little hashtag Vulnerable + Opinionated on main #in the spirit of what this show could’ve been lol #if not here then where etc etc #Ted lasso spoilers #Ted lasso meta #Ted lasso critical #also just to be clear here im being dead serious abt that last point #im spiritually doing the jamie run to demonstrate to u all how badly i want gen shit #please. p l e a s e . #okay wait last ramble here but. this is also why the lack of information we got on trent was so crushing to me #like ur telling me this man went through the incredibly painful + harrowing process of breaking out of his (comfortable! safe) shell + #cynical journalist persona. came out to someone VERY important in his life. and has done nothing but face the music wrt acknowleding #his past mistakes + endeavouring to be better and kinder. and we never get to know if he has ANY support through all that? at all? #is he dating? what's his family situation like? does he have full custody? any friends from work? any friends period????? #like i can should must and will die on the beard + roy + higgins + colins are trents best friends hill but #its like the premise of the show stopped mattering just in time for him to be left in a legitimately depressing limbo #like 'yes everyone needs love + support bc life is rlly hard. but we're tired of making a show abt that so This Is All Ur Getting #+ screw anyone's personal life that u didn't already see in s1. You Know Enough.' #anyway i love u all this is a very silly show and im gonna go play t.o.t.k for a few hours o/ <3

[revvethasmythh]

as a person who loves information but hates manipulative people, one of my favorite things to do right now is to just sit there and give middle of the road prompts to characters like raphael and the emperor who love the sounds of their own voices to sort of suggest that I might be interested in what they're selling, so long as they can convince me to buy. so they just keep talking and talking and I can hum along, getting all the info, and give nods like I'm really considering their deals until they've gotten their whole spiel out and they think they've got me convinced to do what they want and then just go "no, not interested 🫶🥰❤️" and walk away. driving people up the wall, one eldritch horror at a time

#also lying to the emperor is so funny. he is IN my head. he is trying to bang me in my sleep. he's like 'what blocked your thoughts from me? #and I'm like 'beats me bestie 🤷🏻‍♀️' and he just has to believe me because I passed my check #RIP to all the monster men trying to manipulate me I am lying to all of you I have never given a piece of genuine information to y'all #and I never will kindly get bent #rosie plays video games poorly #squad without the s #no but seriously there are so many men trying to manipulate me at this juncture #that dialogue option that's like 'I just want ONE night of dreamless sleep' is SO real

[outofthiisworld]

👽// Ophelia: Whoever I used to be, before me— is long gone, and at this point, we’re both two different people completely and so far removed from one another.

Me, smoking a doobie while sprinkling in their verbal ticks in each other’s dialogue & general interests to represent while someone may grow and change— it’s still you, despite everything: you tell ‘em girlypop.

#👽 … ooc #//you ever just…….get emotionally devastated by your own doing. i need to step outside /j #weed tw #//yes I played u.ndertale during my informative college character growth era what of it #//it was community college and me and the bestie beat it together when she was living in the shed of her parents backyard

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.

#blue chatter #am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no. #ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing #but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics. #and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t. #and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture #which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people #autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf! #not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people #depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay #but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL #and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them #I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house #their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting #I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation #they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo #which is rly neat #it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’ #which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower. #but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes. #oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her. #which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page. #Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time. #which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e #it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid #and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’ #and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun #I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^

[icewindandboringhorror]

little man on my shoulder whispering into my ear: you are SO so correct about everything ever, all of your fears are reasonable and make total sense, you are always right, everyone is silly for not thinking the way you do

little man on my other shoulder: Friendly Reminder That You Have Been Diagnosed With Severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

#chronic game of 'do I GENUINELY dislike this thing - or is my constant fear response just ruining it for me'? #etc. etc. I jest - but I think actually most of the time I'm pretty good at telling the difference because I have this self awareness #like if I'm clearly bulshitting myself about something my brain is usually like 'eHMM that is Noot CORREct' or whatever #So sadly many of my Unpopular Opinions or etc. are just genuinely me having a naturally different beleife #not me being influenced by my fears. because it will be stuff that has nothing to do with my obsessions #But then sometimes it's something like .. cooking in a kitchen with someone else and being like 'ah no we have to lay the utensils down in #this specific ritualistic way' and then I catch myself and am like....... no. actually lay them down however you what. who said that. haha #secret battle going on in my head of 'GRR how dare they open the DOOR the INCORRECT WAY' ... 'ah I have just been informed by experts #actually that there is indeed NO correct way to open a door and I am just insane. Statement is redacted and mood is calmed' #All the while the person walking through the door or whatever is oblivious to my internal monologue #'what are you thinking about? you're kind of quiet' 'oh haha nothing. just hanging out.' *zoom into inside my head and it's two little dudes #rolling around on the floor exchanging punches beating each other to death* #there's a third guy in the corner working on worldbuilding ideas

[mattodore]

anon be honest... are you wearing a wire

#river dipping #sdfhlkdjhkn no but uhhhhhh #am i reading this wrong or are you asking if he's ever beat the shit out of someone kjfnkhjnkjn #because he's someone who frequently flouts the law lmao... like he does not care #and i could talk about all of that easily but when you mention it being specific behavior that hurts people........... #the only thing that comes to mind is has he ever physically harmed someone... #which. like. yeah. multiple people... some way worse than others... #but to go into the ''why'' of some of that would mean i'd have to explain some information about theo i've not mentioned before... #and idk if i want to do that just yet... #because yeah he's been in a lot of fights but the worst thing he's ever done was almost killing someone... and it's bc of theo in a way... #so like... hm. #this isn't me answering you just yet................... i will get back to you on this when my brain is functioning better #just give me some time on this one...... i have to decide what all i want to share and how far back i'm willing to go... #i might walk this back tho... depends. #maybe i'll just be vague abt the why of it all.......... idk. #idk idk will circle back to this i promise #i just gotta think abt it for a while #so give me a bit <3 #also hi again friends and lovers..... i only slept for two hours and feel so ill but let's move on <3 #putting on my i'm so normal cosplay and ignoring that

[quillyfied]

Having had many boredom-induced (my dad’s boredom, to be clear) long talks with my dad during long road trips now, I think the posts (that are important!!) talking about how “the adults in my life as a child weren’t paying attention to my obvious mental illness/struggles” are missing a key point of the puzzle.

Yes, sometimes it’s adults not paying attention. More likely, it’s adults who have no idea what to look for because what you have wasn’t a “thing” when they were growing up (yes it was, but strides have been made to recognize and treat mental disorders since then and past ignorance isn’t necessarily their fault but future ignorance after being told/educated about the issue sure is).

And just as likely (DAD), it’s adults who grew up with the exact same symptoms, internalized their own weirdness as a personal defect rather than a treatable disorder (keeping in mind that for so, so, so long, these were NOT treatable disorders in the modern sense and the treatment was to institutionalize them if it got “bad” enough, and frankly still is but that’s another conversation), developed their own coping mechanisms, and now think the way you struggle and see the world is how “everyone” feels and acts and you need to toughen up a little and stop blaming your “mental illness” when everyone else struggles just as hard but does just fine (spoiler alert: while everyone does struggle, it hits different when you have a mental illness and no amount of being told “it’s okay, everyone struggles like this, you gotta let it motivate you, not paralyze you” will ever lead you to think anything other than “then wtf is so wrong with me that I CAN’T, i just CAN’T????” without better support and treatment if necessary).

#quilly has issues #like a dad with raging adhd who resents being told he has it #and doesn’t know what to do with the information anyway bc he’s made it this far on his own so might as well keep going #meanwhile I’m recontextualizing the anger that traumatized me as a child as overstimulation and depression and anxiety #just to get to the point where I can beat it into my own thick skull that it wasn’t my fault or anything either of us could help #especially not me the child at the time #sigh. just wish dad would also blame himself less for things he couldn’t control on a very real cosmic level too #and get some better coping mechanisms

[roobylavender]

i don’t really agree with the idea that ra’s can be swapped out for talia in terms of damian’s upbringing and nothing would change about the story bc he’d be near exactly as abusive as morrison wrote talia to be like.. no.. that’s just misunderstanding ra’s as a character which frankly a lot of people do. ra’s is emotionally abusive but there are still specific patterns to that behavior. he wants the people at his side to genuinely believe in his vision and abide by it and act upon it, it’s far more complex than him being a physically abusive person who would brutally train a child with no remorse or regard for that child’s well being. current canon esp in the last year has led to this belief that talia grew up cold and pressured to take upon the role and be the perfect weapon but she didn’t. she and ra’s were implied to have a relatively fine relationship as she grew up and things only began to shift once bruce entered the picture and became an influence on talia and her loyalties

when the idea of losing talia to bruce began to veer into reality, ra’s became more possessive and insistent in what he wanted talia to do to ensure she would remain on his side. but even then when she ultimately left him for good to move to metropolis the retaliation that ra’s took out wasn’t on her, it was on bruce. he respected her attempts to break out and do something on her own terms, and that’s not to absolve him, i’m simply pointing out how he’s capable of respecting the people he cares about so long as they don’t go directly against him. so when you toy with the idea of ra’s killing damian’s adoptive parents (which is something i believe he would do. they’re an obstacle to his family after all) and thereby choosing to raise him on his own you have to remember that damian is ultimately a child who will possess little to no tangible worldview with respect to what ra’s is preaching (unless his parents are conveniently environmentalists and he’s a genius child which personally is a boring cop out)

so damian is this relatively unexposed kid whose parents suddenly die only for a man to present himself as his grandfather. ra’s pulls the strings to let it all show in the paperwork and damian goes home to one of his bases. and i think the first thing ra’s would do is teach damian about the world. about the way he views it but in the simplest terms understandable to a child. and he would pull damian into this world of scholarship and travel and athleticism not out of cruelty but out of love. bc there is genuine love that ra’s has for bruce and talia even if he eventually abused it. he was overjoyed when they were going to have damian. and he can still be overjoyed and engrossed in the idea of having a grandson to call his own and to teach his philosophy to even if ultimately what he would be doing is projecting his own desires onto damian. he can hope for damian to be the one person in his family who stands by him and understands him and follows him and it can be tragic bc we know his worldview is ultimately wrong and what he’s done isn’t right and damian needs to be rescued asap. but it would all be punctuated by love that would frankly be so much more interesting to explore bc the real crux of ra’s as a character is that he is incredibly proud and lonely and loving in all of the most heartbreaking and potentially unforgivable ways possible. he holds onto people too tightly without understanding why they might want to let go. and there’s no better person to explore the breaking point of that behavior through than a completely unaware damian who ends up on his doorstep and genuinely believes he’s going to live with a grandfather who loves him in all of the right ways. and love him ra’s does. just without telling damian all of the ugly truths it took to get him there

#ra’s al ghul #personal essays #i am genuinely. a gazillion times more interested in exploring ra’s as the emotionally manipulative person he is #than as some crazy guy obsessed with immortality and body swapping and beating a child into obedience #like he genuinely is character assassinated a lot and it’s not brought up nearly enough when the storylines with him could be so cool #bc again i keep emphasizing it but i DO think he would love and adore and poor everything of himself into damian #but it wouldn’t change the fact that it would all be backed up by a lie #it wouldn’t change the fact that he would be hiding damian from his own parents #it wouldn’t change the fact that rather than trying to make amends with bruce and talia he would look to a child to give him solace #it wouldn’t change the fact that when damian finally found out the truth he would be devastated #bc ra’s could be someone he genuinely grows to love. and all of it would be mired in lies #idk it’s just. way way juicer to me than your standard omg let’s train damian to be a super soldier 🤪 shtick #damian in general to me is boring sorry we’ve already established this he really is just my oc atp #i should clarify i mean this as a concept like who he was created to be. it’s boring it’s racist it doesn’t capitalize on the lore etc #but i mean i have no regrets about that bc my take on him is informed by what the al ghuls are actually like. not character assassination ☺️ #the al ghuls are genuinely so cool and people’s criticism of morrison should extend to the way their lore was bastardized as a whole #if we are being real. like everything he did with utterly bland utterly boring utterly unimaginative #and i want batman fans to FREE themselves. go back pick up a book from the 70s or 80s it’s just #so much more fun and anointed with depth. bride of the demon literally apex of ra’s characterization #along with that one batman chronicles issue eight story the prison #he’s soooo complex like do i think he /deserves/ forgiveness no but bruce and talia do ultimately pity him in some form #and if there was a way to make him powerless and keep him alive and change him they would pursue it #anyway i am getting away from the point here ig what i am trying to say is the al ghuls are packed with so much love and more writers #ought to explore it. instead of making up fucking. demon magic lore or whatever the fuck #like they’re already fucked up in so many ways idk i genuinely don’t believe you need to add to the pit lore to explore them as people #i just realized the stories i recced for ra’s characterization are from the 90s lmao. oh well. they still banged #talia al ghul #damian wayne #dc

[widowshill]

you can put words in any order

#girl that is not . KILLING VICKI? #for your information he is in love with her. #secondly. THAT IS NOT REMOTELY WHAT IS GOING ON IN THAT SCENE #not even a little I am not joking sometimes I feel like we watched vastly different episodes #➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and she’s exhausted. #man beats his son on screen: eh it’s fine #man implies it’s ok to kidnap your governess a little to scare her: heartbreaking child abuse #let me see if I have this. your aunt elizabeth gives you an order but to get you to follow it‚ #I need to come down here‚ put on a show‚ and convince you it's in your interests. #but I give you a look and you're willing to murder a governess over it?

[mostlykind]

genuine question when will I stop getting literal heart palpitations and anxiety from being asked to do ice breakers / introductions in a group setting

#all I had say my name and what I mdoing #and my mouth dried and I went red and my heart was beating so fast #and I got soooo hot #like BITCH. #YOU KNOW THIS INFORMATION!!!!! JUST SAY IT NORMALLY #WHY DOES IT DO THIS TO ME #screaming crying #rahma’s rambles

[theonlyadawong]

i am on my hands and knees praying, hoping, begging capcom not to retcon the night leon and ada spent together between re4 and damnation. the idea that either of them would have sought the other out outside of their line of work is so good, and it adds so much to both of them

#speakerphone! #ik the movie plays at it being romantic/sexual but idk #the way this plays out is that it's finally the night where ada just. talks to him. #she withholds information she doesnt want him to knkw ofc. but this is the night they really talk to each other #without worrying that the other will get called for work. #(but conveniently enough. ada is called from work when they start getting somewhere) #its not... i dont think its a sweet convo... #but its ada opening up as much as shes wants to (which isnt much) #i think its like 'did you know i had feelings for you' 'of course i did' #'was i really that easy to manipulate?' 'you were easier than anyone has any right to be' #that kind of thing #theres... theres no romance in it. from either side. #i think... to someone who doesnt knkw them... this conversation would sound like ada is brutally beating down leon. #when in reality... its almost the opposite. #shes giving him answers. and they might not be full explanations but its more than hes ever gotten from her. #and she asks questions too. things that prod at more sensitive memories. 'how was operation javier.' 'what did the government do to you' #'why didnt you tell them about me' #things that hurt him but also allow her to see more of him so she can use it for later and maybe its her checking up on him #anyways yes. if they retcon it then itll just be one of those things i hold on to #[l. s. kennedy; appendage of the enemy] #okay reordered the tags bc tumblr hates when u use quotation marks. #[a. wong; the apex predator]

[minitiate]

Pact arc.. 12? spoilers hence

The reread was a good idea; I’m picking up on all these little implications that I didn’t notice on the first go-round, such as:

When Blake is talking with the witch in the Drains, the tarot readings he got in arc 3 or whatever come up, and she mentions the symbolic connection between the left hand and “sinister”.  As Blake is leaving she asks him whether he and Rose are lefties or righties, and when Blake confirms they’re both right handed she’s like Hmmm.  Keep That In Mind For Later Mayhamps.  Which in itself is a nice nudge that they’re more on the same level than Blake currently assumes But Then

Shortly before breaking out, Blake grabs the Hyena in his left hand.  This hand has been split in two since the start of Arc 9, and he comments that the spikes on the hilt will at least help hold it together.  In arc 10 he’s referencing the holes as presumably permanent. 

Throughout arc 10 he does not once mention that it’s uncomfortable or awkward to wield a sword in his non dominant hand. 

Bit of a sinister way to start redefining your existence, innit. 

#pact web serial #parahumans #also: given that i go this apeshit for high-level theme information when it's presented in the form of spooky symbols #and given that this sort of thing is even more acceptable in a book that's about being a book like Pact #i'm MAD that wildbow is Also trying to beat one over the head with the themes in plain text #sir i am so ready and willing to meet you halfway in this one. throw the thinnest sheer veil of symbolism over your stagnation/change stuff #let me feel like i have a braincell for making the final leap #PLEASE don't just inform me what sandra #is about i know you can do better. #pact spoilers

[nomniki]

also thinkin abt tokyo ghoul ! enha

#ella stfu #ghoul!jake whos ur bff and u have been suspecting him for a while and bring it up when he’s walking u home #imagine he won’t look at u and he’s like Yn stop asking questions let’s just go home and HAHAHAJAHA there’s a vision #u can alr imagine him uncharacteristically serious PALE IN THE FACE sick with nervousness as he just tries to pretend everything is normal #either young ghoul!niki who berates u for being a messy eater or is like wow ur WEIRD and ur like ⁉️⁉️ WHERE DID U COME GROM like s1 kaneki! #reader btw #or young dove prodigy!niki and ur an SS rated ghoul playing cat and mouse and he lets u go #hee and jay r giving helpful ghoul seniors OR IMAGINE SECRET DOVE!JAY and ghoul!yn #and u don’t know abt each other and live together and r enemies and don’t even K OW IT #dove sunghoon would b hot sorry #either gossip lover ghoul!sunoo like the pink haired girl or MASK MAKEr jay JUNGWON OR RIKI like uta !!!! or #delivery boy hide!sunoo looking for information and u r like akira Um 🤨🫵 what r u up to. or maybe kaneki!reader #or maybe bunny mask jungwon type beat !! like touka w some cute ass hello kitty mask and then u learn he’s an SS rated ghoul bye #some coworker: YN U WENT AGAINDT KITTY BRUH HES AN SS RATED AND UR ALIVEEE RN #yn: Um ? i actually dropped my quinque and thought i was abt to piss myself but he let me go 🥸

[pepprs]

hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol

#purrs #delete later #not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really #comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel #where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it #all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugly #and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fucking #getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest #colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought w #we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight #we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the #participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day a #and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half of #them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we #did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like… i #have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also #HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a #failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as #emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i #failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year #and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jfs #like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE #PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and #we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting #everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid #bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i #get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i #am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done. #ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that #just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol