#what would also be cool is the world of exandria art book like they make for movies and stuff

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Another newbie CR question. Where I am in c2 right now they are advertising for Chronicles of Exandria Vox Machina volume 2, which implies the existance of a volume 1. However, volume 1 is like nowhere to be found and volume 2 is going for 900+ US dollars on ebay. Does anyone know what happened with those books? Why they weren't reprinted?

I've seen on reddit people were talking about copyright and licensing issues with Geek and Sundry, but there doesn't seem to be anything official on the critrole website except for the announcements. Was it really a copyright/licensing issue? Does it have to do with the fact it's fanart? Was it a publisher thing?

Obviously at this point it is very unlikely they are going to reprint them. I was just curious if there was any official statement on why they may not be going for or didnt go for a reprint. I just think its interesting considering how much critical role is expanding into graphic novels, novels, the world of critical role coffee table book, etc.

#critical role #vox machina #mighty nein #im just curious im not looking for any drama #l just like books a lot #and to be clear neither v1 or v2 are in barnes and nobles system anymore not even listed as out of print #i checked and i know because i work there #i also just ordered the mighty nein one because i NEED it #i want all the pretty art #but i am just curious if theres anything out there about it all #what would also be cool is the world of exandria art book like they make for movies and stuff #that would be cool

[stylographic-blue-rhapsody]

1, 2, 11, 12, 28, 31 for Espen

1. Does your PC believe it’s possible to save someone?

extremely possible (what would be the point of her job, of all her grief, if it were not so?), but never guaranteed. sometimes you can do everything right and still lose them and it isn't your fault (it will feel like it's your fault)

2. What does saving a person involve?

first, the other person must buy in. they, too, must believe it is possible (you will have to convince them of this. this will be the hardest part). then--and this is vital--you look fate in the eye and make it blink first. assess what your capabilities are, and then exceed them. it will likely be an awful affair. if saving a person was easy, then everyone and their mother in exandria would have a tale of heroism about them written into the cobalt soul's library books

11. How does your PC show affection?

acts of service that are not part of her day job. she might offer to waterproof someone's boots in the fall so their feet won't get wet from the snow, or sharpen and polish their weapon after noticing it dulling, or prestidigitate her hands to be cool to soothe an itch instead of leaving them to scratch it. she also tends to tease and return banter if she genuinely likes another person

12. If your PC had to set up a date, what would they plan for it?

take an easy, meandering walk somewhere beautiful (to a meadow of wildflowers, or to the ocean, or through the arts district of a city) with ample time for conversation and enjoying each others company, followed by a nice meal (a picnic, cooking dinner together at home, going to a favorite local restaurant). low pressure but with high potential for connection

28. When your PCs want comfort, what do they seek out?

espen generally seeks solitude or, if that's not an option, a challenging task to keep her occupied. she isolates and self-soothes instead of going to others for comfort, but if someone trusted is around and engages with her, she does like a good hug and a vent session (everyone say "thank you tarsenna for keeping espen sane in bazzoxan")

31. What’s your favorite part of playing your PC?

I love how damn much she cares!! it makes engaging with other characters/plot hooks/the world sooo easy. I've definitely played characters who couldn't give a shit, and because I'm a responsible dnd player I intentionally hunted for reasons to engage and move the story forward, but that's *work*. espen by contrast says "uh yeah this fucking matters obviously" and then goes after it!

#the first two about saving a person..... feels pretty damn topical wrt alyxian huh!! #weird eyes and pronouns #espen danlys #my ocs #blue answers

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E47 (Jan. 15, 2019)

The ritual begins.

Tonight’s guests? Taliesin Jaffe and Travis Willingham. The episode? Episode 47: The Second Seal.

Announcements: 

On Wednesday, January 23 at 5 PM Pacific, Pub Draw will be debuting! A teaser was aired before MAME Drop.

Between the Sheets is coming back on Monday, January 28! Travis: “Who’s the host on that, do you remember? I think we had some notes on the host.” Taliesin: “I remember we had notes about what we liked, because it was faster.”

Taliesin is wearing delightful purple mismatched socks.

January 18-20 at Gallery Nucleus is the Art of Exandria art show!

Yasha’s playlist is available now!

Critrolestats: It’s been 42 days since the M9 were last in Nicodranas. Fjord’s 30th Natural 20 was this episode! Matt has rolled 31 natural 1s and 69 natural 20s, for a total of 100 critical rolls. Brian, taking offense to the subdued reaction from the crew: “WHAT SAY YOU TO THIS NEWS?!”

There’s discussion of the best durian delivery systems. Taliesin’s preferred system is “in pastry”. Travis’ preferred system is “nope”.

Taliesin had been wanting to use Divination more often, but didn’t want to bring the game to a standstill by using it every day. Taliesin: “Caduceus is a bro, man, and he was just like, I feel bad that Fjord’s hung up on this guy.” Within the confines of the spell, he was trying to figure out “what question can I ask that’s going to make Matt Mercer really mad to have to answer?”

The only other time Caduceus used Divination was to find a safe port.

Travis: “I’ve realized that I need to learn a lot more about Caduceus than I currently do.” Brian: “We all do.” Taliesin, with a slightly ominous laugh: “Caduceus is learning a lot about you guys!”

Fjord has come to terms with the fact that people are looking to him for answers while they’re on the ocean. “He’s not the leader, though. He’s not the leader. He’s just a participant in this adventure, and these people are nice enough to protect him the same way he’s protecting them.” He’s looking forward to sitting back a bit after they get back to Nicodranas, especially having the spotlight off him as a player for a while. Taliesin can relate after Percy’s prominent role early in the first campaign.

Travis prefers the party dynamic of people making decisions together---he’s personally not a big fan of one person calling the shots, because he loves having everyone contributing. Taliesin’s excited to see Sam taking the reins a little bit, especially as Nott.

Travis is amused that Jester and Caduceus can already use Control Water. Taliesin points out that there’s no reason for them to pack it once they’re back on land, whereas Travis will still have it all the time.

Does Taliesin feel guilty about avoiding the entire encounter with one die roll? “Guilt is for mortals.” He’s definitely broken some of Matt’s puzzles before in the past. He does feel a little bad that they didn’t get to do the ship fight.

Fjord is entirely excited, and “not intimidated in any way”, by his new powers. "Until that dog bites you, there’s no reason to be frightened of it.” After what Taliesin did last episode, Travis is going to read more about the spell’s details.

Is Caduceus bothered by all the deaths he caused? “It’s D&D, you have to make some allowances. If this were a real thing, there would be some emotional consequences for some of this. Seeing as how we’re in the game and playing it, he’s not bothered by it. They were things in the way of his mission to save something greater, and death is inevitable, and it’s especially inevitable if you’re trying to stop someone on a mission for the earth itself.”

Fjord wasn’t intimidated by the power specifically, but was probably a little intimidated by Caduceus. 

It’s why Caduceus isn’t bothered by what Fjord’s been doing. “He doesn’t necessarily have a good head for good and evil. He has a good head for natural and unnatural.”

Gif of the week: the Club Punch by @disasterjones​!

Caduceus’ gift of the book to Caleb was “just because they’re friends.” He’s aware that everyone has their own motives, but he also needs everyone to just get behind him at some point. Taliesin: “You need LAX friends. Everybody needs a friend to pick them up at LAX.” He doesn’t think anyone’s motivations are particularly dark right now, and he doesn’t have an especially negative view of anyone yet.

An out-of-context moment: Taliesin: “I can melt your mind.” Travis: “Please don’t.”

Fjord’s reaction to Beau’s disinterest in her family, and his insistence on getting Jester back to her mother, is largely influenced by growing up as an orphan. “He totally views the Mighty Nein as a family. There’s worth, there. He feels needed by these people, and he needs them. This is the most excited he’s ever been about life and what the future holds.”

If Fjord had never met the M9, “he would’ve probably been journeying up toward the Soltryce Academy”. Taliesin thinks he might’ve been weaponized and sent to the front lines.

Another out-of-context moment: Taliesin: “I haven’t burned an orphanage down in D&D in years.”

Caduceus wasn’t ashamed about not being able to read well. “Nah, he’s not a shame-based creature. Reading wasn’t really his thing growing up. He had siblings for that. He has a particular stripe of intellectualism, but he’s not particularly interested in the world outside his immediate perspective. If he didn’t really relate to it, why know it?”

Travis wants to know a lot about Caduceus. Taliesin, blandly: “You could ask.”

Taliesin mentions that he’s already dropped the name of Caduceus’ father: Cornelius.

Fjord doesn’t especially want to piss off Uk’otoa, and appreciates that what’s happened has made him exceptional, but at the same time, “he doesn’t want the end game that’s been shown to him.” He’s keeping up that balancing act.

Taliesin has been thinking that Caleb smells a bit like peat moss. “I think it’s more the teasing that he smells bad, I don’t think he actually does.” Caduceus legitimately thinks he smells fine. “It’s not, like, a sexy thing, like, ooh, hey. He doesn’t have a thing going on like that.”

Taliesin: “Travis is trying to kill everybody. Fjord is on the up-and-up.” Travis: “Not everything has to be homicide all the time.” Taliesin: “You are indeed captain of the Ball Eater, to be fair.”

Fan art of the week: Fjord underwater.

On Caduceus having adjusted to the ocean: “He is a big believer in getting comfortable where you are.” It’s a conscious decision he made. “This is fine. This is great. It took a little while, and Jester was definitely helpful.”

Fjord is making an effort to acknowledge Jester’s uncertainty and worry. “There wasn’t a lot of time to check in with Jester after the whole dragon thing. He feels bad, and I think I feel like Jester’s been a little quieter,” so it seemed natural to check in. Taliesin: “Jester thrives better when she has new people to interact with all the time.”

Taliesin’s attitude toward Yasha hasn’t really changed. “From his perspective, it was nothing he wasn’t expecting. Goth kids happen for a reason. He’s aware that she’s the one who’s up-front, and he’s just trying to make it as easy for her to move around as possible. He’s very aware that she’s still in mourning for a lot of things.” As soon as she’s ready, “they’re going to have a long talk about that.”

There are whole chunks of the Molly and Yasha interactions that only Taliesin and Ashley know about at this point.

Travis points out that the moment where Fjord put the sphere in his chest was Matt controlling the situation, and he hasn’t forgotten that, but he’s not sure if it might be an indication for something to come in terms of Uk’otoa controlling him. Taliesin thinks it may just have been intended to be a blueprint for Travis’ future actions.

Caduceus was “not a lonely kid”. He and his family were surprisingly social. “He had a nice childhood. It was pretty chill.”

Another out-of-context moment: Taliesin: “He was an old-man vampire with an ice cream truck. It was so wrong.” Travis: “Or so right.”

Fjord (not Travis) is frustrated with the lack of answers to his questions. “There is a final piece of the puzzle, but I don’t want to complete that.” Brian: “Who knows what you’d have to swallow?”

Fjord may have to accept that he’ll never get the answers he’s looking for about Vandran. Vandran showed Fjord the most “attention and care. Not necessarily kindness.”

Taliesin: “I kind of just don’t even want to deal with the war until it’s inevitable.” Travis: “I want to see the fringes of the war, only because Fjord hasn’t seen it. I’m more worried about people who have families and ties there. It was really fucking hard to be like, ‘Can we go to this temple now that we know the war has spread to your homeland? Cool.’“ Taliesin points out that they’re mostly not a group of people who are especially tied to where they come from. They’re both super fascinated by Beau as a character.

Talks Machina: After Dog

Recommendations for LA-area things to do if you’re in town for the gallery: In-N-Out, Disneyland, Golden Apple Comics, The Last Bookstore, Little Tokyo, Tar Pits, Museum of Jurassic Technology, Silver Lake Reservoir, Griffith Observatory, Getty Museum, Venice Beach, The Huntington, Descanso Gardens, the Apple Pan.

Brian and Taliesin discuss poetry, and Dani chimes in. Travis shares the literature he’s been reading lately with Ronin: “It’s like eight pages. It takes a while to get through.”

It takes a while for him to notice, and before that moment of realization, I accidentally get what is objectively the best screencap I’ve ever taken. “You look like an NSYNC member of Pee-wee Herman’s Playhouse.”

Out-of-context Brian outrage: “That’s the best technology we’ve got for minty-fresh hair for Travis?!”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

[themugcollector]

Welcome to the Cobalt Soul

Beau Week 2019 - Cobalt Soul

I actually began writing this for day two of Beau week but it got away from me and turned into something longer.

My take on Beau’s unhappy time at the Archive of the Cobalt Soul (and also why she learnt Deep Speech.)

(Warning contains swearing (because it’s Beau), and reference to violence and abuse)

(Also not sure on the spelling - the wiki says Xenoth but everyone else spells it Zeenoth. I went with the wiki version)

...

A nervous teenage Beau found herself sat in a cold unfamiliar room, looking into the eyes of a slim half-elf in blue robes.

“Miss Lionette, I am Archivist Xenoth and I shall be your mentor here at the Archive of Cobalt Soul.”

“The cobble what?” Beau groaned, “What in the five hells has my father done now?” 

It had been an uncomfortable week spent travelling in the back of a blacked-out carriage; two silent guards taking turns to watch her. No privacy; no escape; no sunlight. Her abductors had dressed her in a scratchy sleeveless tunic and ridiculously baggy pants. They had also shaved off all her long hair; Beau wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She kept running her hand over her bald head feeling violated and yet oddly free.

The half-elf gave a thin watery smile.

“Your father has asked the Cobalt Soul to take care of you.”

Beau snorted and tried to get up from her chair.

“I can take care of myself”

A meaty fist grabbed her shoulder and pushed her back into her seat.

Beau turned to meet the glare of a squat male dwarf, his beard braided, his dark hair curled into a ponytail, his own blue robes more functional that the half-elf’s flowing gown.

“Your father has charged us with your care.” Xenoth repeated. “And I and Morpeth are here to facilitate that. I understand that you are not keen, but we take our responsibilities very seriously.”

Beau shook off the hand on her shoulder and gave the half-elf her best scowl.

“How much is he paying you?”

“Enough.” said Xenoth coolly; which probably meant several hundred gold at least.

Beau smirked.

“Trust me, it will never be enough!”

Xenoth sighed, not at all effected by her bravado.

“Here at the Cobalt Soul there are rules that you will follow. You are here to learn, and we are here to teach.”

“Fuck off.” snapped Beau.

Xenoth nodded to the dwarf, Morpeth.

Whack! A thin bamboo switch struck her arm. The sharp pain taking Beau by surprise.

“Did you just fucking hit…!?”

Whack! A second blow came before she could even finish her protest.

Beau tried to leap from her chair, tears pricked her eyes from the shock and the pain. Morpeth’s hand grabbed her neck and held her in place.

Whack!

“Stop fucking hitting…”

Whack!

“You fucking…”

Whack!

“Stop it!”

Whack!

“I’m gonna…!” cried Beau, trying to lash out with her leg but Morpeth stayed out of reach.

Whack!

“Stop!”

Whack!

“Stop it!”

Whack!

“Fucki…”

Whack!

“Stop!”

Whack!

“Stop!”

Whack!

“Please stop!” Beau wailed; the blows were starting to draw blood.

Whack!

“Please!”

Whack!

Beau ran out of words and was only able to concentrate on her sobbing breaths as she waited for the next blow.

It didn’t come.

“Good.” said Xenoth smoothly, drawing Beau’s attention back to him. “You have learnt the first lesson already, be respectful and listen.”

Beau opened her mouth to say something snarky in reply, but the words froze on her lips as the dwarf raised his switch.

Xenoth smiled at her silence.

“Excellent. You are here to learn, and we are here to teach. If you do as you are asked you will have a meal three times a day and a roof over your head. If you are rude, lazy or disobedient there will be consequences as I feel you are beginning to understand. Welcome to the Archive of the Cobalt Soul Miss Lionette.”

“Fuck you!” Beau sobbed.

Whack!

…

Beau was the only student in the reserve having supervised lessons; because unlike all the other acolytes she was the only one who didn’t want to be there.

The studying was boring and jumped from one weird subject to another. One day Xenoth would have her studying the exports of Exandria and the next wig wearing mosquito demons of the Abyssal Plains.

It was almost as if he wanted to test Beau on how much useless crap he could fill her head with just so he could punish her in her confusion.

Beau knew she wasn’t stupid, but she had also learnt from childhood that it was better to purposely act like an idiot and not try, rather than try and being told she was an idiot just the same.

So, she pretended she didn’t understand. She would give wrong answers, the weirder and more confusing the better. She did her best to be the worst pupil Xenoth had ever seen.

…

But in the Cobalt Soul there was also the fighting.

That should have been cool at least.

Something violent and unladylike. Just up Beau’s alley.

But there were rules.

It wasn’t just about throwing punches

This was Morpeth’s role in her education. He was assigned to her as her fighting instructor. He was all muscle and pompous superiority that instantly rubbed Beau up the wrong way. He was also a little too fond of using that switch of his.

Morpeth was insistent that you had to have control as well as strength and stamina.

You had to understand your body.

You had to find your Ki. Find it and tap into its power… your power.

Beau was fairly certain that as funny as Morpeth’s insistence on her ‘knowing herself’ was that it was something she was just not capable of understanding.

How could what was inside her give her power? Inside she knew she was just a piece of shit… just like her parents had always told her.

So she went through the motions but never really to tried.

Most of her sparing partners were older than Beau. All of them had worked hard to be accepted by the Cobalt Soul.

Beau was an outsider; a reject.

Being here wasn’t some gift. Being here was a punishment.

She fooled everyone with her self-imposed disinterest and the fact that her opponents joyfully beat her to a pulp at every opportunity only solidified in her mind that she was right not to try.

Morpeth’s dislike of Beau was clear right from the start and with every failure came some cruel or unusual punishment.

And man, did Morpeth know his punishments.

His favourite was to make her stand balanced on one leg, usually in some excruciating martial arts pose, and recite the thirty-six precepts of the Cobalt soul.

If she stumbled on words, he would swipe her with his bamboo switch. If she lost her balance, he would beat her until she was back on one leg and muttering through the rules again.

…

Beau stumbled into the Library after a brutal session in the training room. Her head was fuzzy and the world was spinning a little like she was drunk and the cut on her forehead, there she’d careered from the training ring to collide with a wooden bench, was still dripping blood.

Xenoth sighed at the state of her and summoned a cleric.

The cleric turned out to be a smoulderingly attractive female elf; although it might have just been the concussion making the edges of the world go soft around her as she walked into the room.

Xenoth meanwhile was having a barking discussion over her head with Morpeth.

“… as important as her Martial arts training is, I do expect her be able to function in class and not bleed on the books.”

“And I expected by now she would at least have the ability to take a hit and stay on her feet for more that five seconds. One hit and she goes down like she’s not even trying.”

Beau giggled and gave the cleric a lazy wink, which must have looked rather odd on her swollen face.

“Hey, I’m always a fan of going down.” She drawled in Elven.

The cleric scowled and poked her with a less than gentle finger to pass on her healing magic. Instantly the world drew back into focus and the sharp pain in Beau’s head dissipated.

Beau noticed both Xenoth and Morpeth looking at her even as the cleric marched out a look of disgust on her face.

“You speak Elven.” Xenoth asked.

Beau took a moment to mourn the loss of the pretty face before replying.

“Shit… Yeah… Father had me learn it to converse with our customers. I wasn’t…”

“Do you know any other languages?”

“Halfling…” Beau admitted, “I had a tutor for a few years…”

“Are you fluent in both?”

“I can read, write, speak and swear in both languages. So yeah.”

“Really.” He said, “Say something in Halfling.”

“Okay?” said Beau, caught a little off guard, but then with a wicked smirk let rip with the best insult she knew.  An old habit she developed when cursing in Common in front of her Father really wasn’t an option. “Morpeth is a dog-farting sheep-whore whose mother bedded a…”

Beau found herself knocked from her chair to the floor without quite knowing how she got between the two.

Morpeth did not look amused.

“I know what that means, Beau.” He snapped, somehow talking to her in Elven, Halfling and Common all at once

“What the fuck. Let me guess your ‘Ki’ powers let you speak every fucking language as well as everything else.” She snapped, adding air quotes with her finger at the work Ki.

“As matter of fact they do.” said Morpeth coolly with the disapproving snort/sigh that he usually gave when talking to Beau for more than a few moments.

“The resting crane I think.” He said drawing his switch from his belt. “And you can recite the thirty-six precepts in Halfling for me… A long lyrical language… This should be very entertaining for me and excruciating for you.”

“That’s not fucking fair. Xenoth wanted me to say something in Halfling… ”

Beau looked to the Half-Elf for support, but Xenoth just shook his head, gathered his books, and left her to her punishment - the coward.

Morpeth dragged Beau to her feet.

“Are you angry Beau. Tell you what, you hit me and there will be no more punishment.”

This was another game of his, offer her a release for her anger she could never land.

“You want me to hit you?” Beau asked.

“I want you to try.” He began… but Beau’s fist was swinging before he had spoken the second word.

He side-stepped her punch with ease, and with his usual cruel speed struck her in the ribs in a way that made her whole body seize up.

“When you can move again. The resting crane and the Precepts in Halfling if you please.”

Gods she hated this dwarf.

…

Beau’s time at the Cobalt Soul was transformed in this moment. By her absolute hatred for Morpeth.

She finally had a purpose; a plan.

She was going to fucking humiliate Morpeth, just like he constantly humiliated her.

Fuck the Cobalt Soul and fuck her family too. The only thing that mattered now was making Morpeth suffer.

…

Xenoth knowing Beau was fluent in Elven and Halfling began adding translation work to her lessons. She was currently coming to the end of the tedious project of transcribing the epic fifty-eight stanza Halfling poem ‘Elspeth of the Flowering Grove’ into Elven for some rich merchants wedding gift Turns out taking in troubled teens wasn’t the only thing the Cobalt Soul wasn’t shy of taking money for. . Beau made it a point to do the work as slowly and badly as possible.

Xenoth arrived with bundles of paper in his hand.

“Beauregard, it is part of a monks training here at the Cobalt Soul to learn a new language. I have here a few projects you might like to select to help you on your way.”

Beau dropped her pen in the desk and scowled.

“Why? Why learn any language if your magic Ki lets to know every fucking language ever?”

“At a certain level, yes, we can speak and understand all spoken language, but we cannot read or write it.

Beau blinked.

“Is that true?”

Xenoth didn’t answer. He was too busy laying out his projects.

“There are three to choose from… This Celestial poem was found in a private archive in Rexentrum and has never been transcribed… These wall tracings from a submerged temple found in a mineshaft near Allfield are in Abyssal… This bowl was found buried near Hupperduke and is thought to be Deep Speech… it’s not believed to be dangerous but might be an interesting project as the language is so rare in this realm.”

Beau’s head was still busy with the idea that Morpeth didn’t know every language. At least not in written form. All three of these had to be obscure enough that she could insult him to his face and he wouldn’t understand.

“I’ll do it!” said Beau, almost eagerly.

“Just pick one.” He said.

Beau scoured the language section of the library bookshelves for several weeks. She tried Abyssal, but the guttural tones hurt her throat. She was too tone deaf to manage Celestial. There were just two tomes in the Library covering the syntax and phraseology of Deep Speech. It looked like she had found her project. She’d be damned if Morpeth could understand a language only spoken by Aberrations in the Far Realm and by Drow scholars in the Underdark.

Beau had always been pretty good with languages even from an early age. It wasn’t going to be easy. One of the books was in Espurar script which would require serious study in-of-itself, but she was determined, and as many an enemy knew, a determined Beau was much more dangerous that a resigned one.

…

The second challenge was to land a damn punch on the bastard.

After lights out in her cell Beau started working out. She developed her body with a routine of press-ups, push ups, squats… Any exercise that was relatively quiet and could be done in a confined space.

She even tried meditating to find her Ki, but she couldn’t sit in the silence on her own head. It was never that moment of stillness her classmates seemed to find.

So instead she also started training herself to withstand Morpeth’s punishments.

Every night she would balance on one leg and recite the 36 precepts; first in Common, then in Halfling and finally in Elfish.

She made translating them into Deep Speech her next project and eventually she was adding the fourth language to her routine.

…

It took a year of focus.

She grew fluent in a language only ever spoken in the Underdark. The bowl translation was indeed dull, a recipe for a poison brew that caused paralysis, but the language itself was weirdly wonderful.

In a year her body also grew subtle and stronger, but there was a new power behind her punches.

Maybe it was that moment of nightly ritual, when reciting the Precepts four times over gave her nothing to focus on other than her own body; her every muscle straining to remain still and balanced.

Beau had found her Ki.

And it was surprising.

Ki did not give you strength.

Ki gave you speed and precision.

Beau’s body could do what she wanted it to do almost at the speed of a thought.

But this she had also been keeping a secret.

For a year Beau played the idiot, took her punches and lived her best life as the worse person she could be. At least until the moment was right for revenge.

…

The first part started slow. She began chalking Deep Speech runes insulting Morpeth on walls. The best insult was a pictogram of an egg with three spots with the rays of the sun coming from it. A sun-roasted egg, the far realm equivalent of a piece of shit. And the pictogram for Morpeth three parallel lines, four dots and a curve like a frown.

Beau inked the pictograms in books. Chalked them onto shelves in the far library stacks. No one knew what it meant. But people started to copy it. It started to appear on walls in hands other than Beaus.

Soon not a day went by without Beau seeing somewhere a demeaning slur about Morpeth.

It felt wonderful.

…

For her final insult Beau took a pot of paint in the night and wrote the curse large on the walls of the training room.

She went to bed satisfied of a job well done.

…

The next day Morpeth was not happy. Not that he knew the walls were screaming insults at him. He only knew someone had deface his training room and even though there was no proof the one he blamed was Beau.

Fists and feet flew in Beau’s direction as Morpeth coldly looked on. But this time Archivist Xenoth was there, was well as a group of rather high up individuals from the Cobalt Soul. All examining the walls and trying to translate them.

It was eight against one as Beau faced her classmates. She could feel the swelling of her right eye and she could taste the blood leaking from her broken nose as she wiped it away from her top lip and squared up against her classmates for the next blow.

Four punches and a swipe to the legs, and Beau was flat on her face in the sand once more.

“Stop!” Morpeth called. “I’m almost starting to feel sorry for her. Do you need a break Beauregard, or have you still ‘got this’?”

Beau clambered back to her feet, a little more unsteady than she’d have liked.

God she hated this man.

“Hey Morpeth.” She cried. “You know those runes on the wall?”

“Yes Beau. Are you going to tell me you painted them.”

She shook her head and gave him her best innocent stare.

“Oh I wouldn’t dare do that sir, you might punish me. I can tell you what they say though.”

Xenoth turned.

“You can translate this?”

“Sure,” said Beau walking up to the familiar sun-roasted egg. “It’s Deep Speech. This here roughly translates as Morpeth is a piece of shit.”

Morpeth grabbed her by the neck and threw her to the ground.

“Why you little…”

Beau dodged the blow and scrambled to her feet.

“What are you straight up punishing me. I don’t get to try a land a punch first?”

“You can try…” Morpeth sneered, as he always did.

Beau swung her right hook and Morpeth smoothly ducked the blow, but like lightening Beau’s second strike didn’t miss her mark. A left knee right between his legs.

Pausing only to wink cheekily at Xenoth, Beau marched triumphantly from the training room. Her head held high as Morpeth sank to his knees, both hands clutching his manhood from Beau’s low blow.

Always go for the dick; Beau had learned that lesson long before becoming a monk.

…

The next morning there was a knock on the door and Beau rolled out of her bed ready for her punishment… but damn it was fucking worth it!

A thin half-elf stood in the doorway, Archivist Xenoth.

“Miss Lionette, I feel I have been underestimating you for too long. I shall be taking over your full training from Morpeth. I feel with the right motivation you would be an exceptional asset to this Library. I was impressed in the speed you have learnt Deep Speech and you have found a way to channel you Ki…”

Beau smiled – looks like she had rid her self of Morpeth. She eyed Xenoth and shook her head.

“Fuck off.” Beau snapped, right back in ‘don’t give a shit’ mode.

She slammed the door in his face.

…

#critical role #beauregard #beauweek 2019 #beau week 2019 #xenoth #zeenoth #fan fiction