#where my problems with robocop 2 really come in because like. it’s written by frank miller and another guy with a story by frank miller.

[theheavymetalmama]

Soooo...Jason Momoa told a little kid that Superman wasn't in Justice League because he was dead, DC is making a Superman Year One comic with Frank Miller as the author, they're making a two-part animated movie based on "the Death and Return of Superman," and rumors are flying around that Supergirl is going to be in Justice League. Oh, and the Justice League trailer dropped. Your thoughts?

That’s a lot to take it. Let’s start with the big one. New Justice League trailer!

Sorry guys, still don’t like it. Granted, it doesn’t look as bad as the previous trailer made it look, but it still looks massively underwhelming. Hell, the only character presented I even like is Wonder Woman, because she’s the only one who’s been established.

Well, established in a good movie, at least.

The rest consist of a Batman who belongs behind bars just as much as any of his villains and three other characters we’re meeting for the first time fighting a villain that nobody gives a shit about, which could be forgiven if the characters were interesting but again Batman’s an asshole and we don’t know anything about Aquaman, Flash, or Cyborg yet. And am I the only one who cringed at Cyborg’s line? Not the line itself, but the flat, robotic delivery. Good god, they took one of the most expressive and emotional live-wires in comic book history and turned him into Arnold from Terminator 2, but without the charm and charisma.

I’m also not looking forward the role the Amazons play, which appears to be them being in the movie for the sole purpose of Steppenwolf to kill/mop the floor with them. Yeah, take the place and characters everybody who watched Wonder Woman fell in love with and just wipe them off the face of the Earth in their second appearance. No way there’s going to be any backlash from that!

Honestly, I could write an essay’s worth of things in the trailer that irked me, but topping that list are these lines from Batman.

“Superman was a beacon for the world. He didn’t just save people, he made them see the best parts of themselves.”

Let’s forget for a moment that Superman has only been in two DCEU movies and you can count on one hand how many times he was shown in a heroic light. Let’s forget for a moment that Man of Steel and especially Batman v Superman spent more time hammering into audiences skulls that more people in this world are afraid of Superman than there are people who see him as a hero. And let’s forget for a moment that this Superman has spent more time feeling sorry for himself than he ever did being the symbol of hope the movies tried and failed miserably building him up to be.

Let’s instead take into account that these lines are coming from Batman. Oh yeah, Superman totally brought out the best in people. That’s why after the disaster in Metropolis, you took a deep breath, composed yourself, and reached out to him to see what he was really about before jumping to conclusions and-oh wait, no you didn’t, you obsessed over him for over a year and decided to straight-up murder his ass, you fucking hypocrite!

Seriously, what the fuck, WB? You spend two whole movies shitting on Superman, the people who love him, and his legacy, and now you’re trying to save face by saying that he brought out the best in people when you’ve only shown the BAD things that happened because he exists? Fuck off. No, seriously, fuck right off. You have to EARN that shit, which you fucking didn’t because you killed Superman before anybody could connect with him and threw the entirety of “The Death and Return of Superman” right under the bus in the last 20 minutes of a Batman movie! I honestly don’t know what’s worse. That Batman is being portrayed as a stupid and hypocritical murderous asshole, or that said stupid and hypocritical murderous asshole is leading the team that Superman is supposed to be the leader to!

Ugh, FUCK everything! But let’s move on, shall we? Frank Miller is writing Superman: Year One.

The very idea of Frank Miller writing any solo-Superman story makes my skin crawl. The fact that the same guy who turned Superman into Ronald Reagan’s personal attack dog who can’t read and raped Wonder Woman is retelling Superman’s origin story? Ugh. Just thinking about that makes me feel like I need to jump into a swimming pool filled with bleach and then get buried up to my neck in rock salt!

Let’s all just put aside that Frank Miller is a racist and misogynist scumbag who hasn’t written anything good since Robocop vs the Terminator. Let’s instead take into account that the man has been writing comic books for 40 years now and has written Superman several times, and every time he’s portrayed him as stupid, boorish, and incompetent while going out of his way to have Batman humiliate him in some way, shape, or form. Yes, I know, Miller has said that he actually likes Superman and only wrote him that way because the story was from Batman’s perspective and that he actually regrets writing him as a government tool, yeah, I don’t fucking believe him. He’s had dozens if not hundreds of opportunities to show Superman in a positive light and he’s never done it. He’s never done it before, so why would he now? The only time Superman has ever been portrayed with any semblance of who he actually is in a Frank Miller work was in Dark Knight III: the Master Race…you know, the one book in the series that Frank Miller didn’t write! Oh, but he wants to write part IV, so great, he’ll get to shit on Superman one more time before he either retires or his diseased liver and STD-ridden body do him in. “Oh, but Katie, he has cancer!” So? He’s still an asshole!

Well, that was grim. Let’s talk a little bit about Jason Mamoa telling a little kid that Superman was dead.

Okay, in the interest of fairness, I don’t think Mamoa had any malicious intent. I’m sure he was just caught up in the moment and wasn’t thinking straight, especially when he apologized to the same kid during an autograph signing that followed the panel. It was still a dick move on his part, but whether or not he gave it some thought, his fellow cast members told him “dude, that’s a little kid,” or his PR guy said “Look Mamoa, Warner has done a fine job of alienating Superman fans all on their own, they don’t need you helping. Now if you want to shrug off being typecast as an uncouth barbarian you’d better stop acting like one and say you’re sorry!” I’m glad he realized it was a dick move and took it back. I’m sure the fact that WB still wants to convince us that Superman is really dead wasn’t helping either. Speaking of which…

The Death of Superman and Reign of the Supermen are getting animated adaptations.

I have very mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, this was one of the stories I said deserved a faithful animated adaptation. Yes, some aspects don’t hold up anymore, but they can be worked around. This is also not the first time the story was adapted, as “Superman: Doomsday” was what kicked off the string of animated DC movies. But it was also very watered down and may as well have been called “Superman: the Clone Saga.” So the fact that they’re making a two-part animated adaptation should be good news…

Having said that, let’s get real. If they genuinely wanted to make a faithful adaptation of ‘The Death of Superman,’ they would have already. I can’t shake the feeling that the only reason it’s even being made is because Warner and DC realize that shoe-horning Doomsday into the end of BvS only succeeded in alienating Superman fans and they need to save face, not helped by the fact that the last animated solo-Superman movie they made, Superman Unbound, came out in 2013. Everything else since then has been either a Justice League movie or a Batman movie. Oh sure, Superman was in some of them, but the only one where he had anything resembling a leading role was in Justice League: Gods and Monsters…the alternate universe story where Wonder Woman is from space, Batman is a vampire, and Superman is the son of General Zod and his capsule lands on the US/Mexico border right as some refugees are crossing because apparently the writers felt that Superman being an alien just wasn’t quite on the nose enough.

Now I know what you might be thinking. “Okay, so maybe they didn’t make it as soon as you would have liked, but they’re making it anyway so what’s the problem?” The problem is the possibility that they’re making this not because they want to or feel that it’s a story worth adapting, but again just so they can save face for those of us Superman fans who felt alienated at the conclusion of Batman v Superman where the entirety of the story was boiled down to “Lex Zuckerburg creates Nuclear Man 2.0 and Superman gets stabbed to death at the end.” And a movie that nobody wants to make tends to be a movie that nobody wants to see.

That’s to say nothing of the fact that DC animated movies…well, they just haven’t been very good lately. Ever since their Flashpoint film, the movies have ranged from okay to outright bad. Justice League: War sucked, Son of Batman was obnoxious, Assault on Arkham was good but not great, Throne of Atlantis was a snooze-fest, Batman vs Robin sucked, Gods and Monsters was okay, Batman: Bad Blood had a good movie in it that was bogged down by the writers putting Batwoman’s story on the back-burner and insisting Dick and Damian arguing had to be on the forefront, Justice League vs Teen Titans could have been good if they didn’t put the least-interesting character Damian Wayne center-stage for no goddamn reason, Justice League Dark was hot garbage, Judas Contract was lame, and the less said about The Killing Joke the better.

In short…I hope it’s good, but given previous movies and the circumstance, I’m not holding my breath.

EDIT: Forgot about Supergirl apparently appearing in Justice League. I hope she kicks Batman’s ass. It’s long overdue somebody took Batman down a peg and I can think of worse motivations than “You got my cousin and only other member of my race killed,” as well as providing catharsis for Superman fans given he landed a grand total of two fucking punches in the title fight of Batman v Superman. Other than that, I don’t really care. Her inclusion can’t make the movie anymore troubled than it already is.

#Justice League #Superman #Wonder Woman #DC #Batman #Supergirl #DC animated universe #DC extended universe #DCAU #DCEU #Frank Miller #Comicon #movie #rant #please don't suck