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neptunejheart · 6 months

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Venting.. Read if you dare. Or don't. I don't care.

I had a therapist once tell me that I am optimistic & pessimistic at the same time n I'm like yeah man. Life isn't just rainbows and sunshine. I know the extremes of life when it comes to both the positives and the negatives. I see the totality of it all.

This is why I have beef with the LOA community bc they're so fucking ridiculous when it comes to the reality of life. 🙄 Toxic positivity is not the vibe.

I've been affirming and creating my reality for years and no matter how positive I think, I'll always be me and carry the experiences that have shown me things that I cannot forget no matter how much I've tried to forget.

Reality is a "simulation", an "illusion" and you want me to give a fuck about this shit? It's not "real". It's only as real as we make it.

I guess that's why I've surrendered into the story of it all bc if I'm gonna be here, I may as well get immersed in it & find some joy in it even if what brings me joy is literally the smallest things & stupidest things.

However, the reality of "none of this is real" lingers even if it feels real. Honestly, I can't even enjoy it sometimes bc of the disillusionment.

I legit have to create the most elaborate and extra ass stories in my mind to enjoy life now bc I know that everything is a reflection of whatever I told my mind.

Eg. "I am abundant" is the simplest statement yet my mind will have to create something extra as fuck to make it feel real to me.

Maybe it's because I have been through extremely bad things in the past to the point where I have to create extremely good things now to balance that out. It's a whole thing 🙄 reality is simple yet complex.

Earth feels like settling ngl. Idc what any LOA or spiritual ppl say. Being on earth IS settling to me. They be like "you can have anything you want." And I'm like actually you can't on Earth. Maybe they're happy with what Earth has to offer but I simply am not. There's infinite possibilities and I have to compromise and settle on this planet bc of laws and physics that I have no control over. It's stupid.

Anyways I guess that's that. I have made peace with all of it and I will just entertain myself while I'm on this planet bc I've no other choice. I didn't ask to be born or created and yet I have to be here. You best believe I will be entertaining myself and not taking anything seriously anymore.

That's it. If you read, thank you for making it to the end. I really just needed to release. If you're also feeling similarly or the same way, let's just have fun bc we all gonna die someday. It is what it is. We may as well have a good time.

#my life #my thoughts #vent post #vent

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ionaonie · 6 years

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Your Thoughts on The Last Jedi?

Decidedly mixed, which I wasn’t expecting after seeing so many positive reviews for it and many people saying it did things rarely seen on screen, and that it was so different from other Star Wars movies

But everything I’m going to say is obviously spoilerish, so here is a cut

Things that I liked

1) It was a beautiful movie - there are three shots that I absolutely loved; Snoke’s ship being hyperspaced, Rey and Kylo Ren using the force to get (and break) Luke’s lightsaber and Luke and Kylo Ren facing each other on the planet

2) The lightsaber fight between Rey and Kylo Ren versus Snoke’s bodyguards

3) Luke - I really loved what they did with Luke. Him being all grumpy, recognising how he’d bought into his own press and all that jazz was awesome

4) That Rey’s parents were nobody’s. I’m glad she has no legacy, no bloodline to explain why she’s so powerful in the force, that anyone can bring about change

5) That Luke had similar thoughts about the Force that Buffy had about her power

6) The little boy at the end using the force to get the broom

7) That Kylo Ren is now the bad guy. I always suspected that Snoke was something of a red herring

8) That Kylo Ren defeated Snoke through sneakiness and Snoke’s own arrogance and overconfidence - if it had been a lightsaber fight, I’d never have believed that Rey and Kylo Ren could have defeated him because he was so obviously so skilled and knowledgeable about the force - I mean, he was throwing Rey around with ease - that if he got beaten by them in such a way, I’d have been thrown out of the film so hard

9) Luke and Leia getting to have a moment

10) Yoda being the one to set the tree on fire because Luke hesitated and then them talking and just sitting there, watching it burn

11) Luke being so happy to see R2-D2 and R2-D2 using the ��help us obi-wan, you’re our only hope’ message and Luke, being like, oh, that’s not fair

12) Chewy kicking in Luke’s door

13) Finn’s ‘hey’ before hitting Phasma round the head after she thought he was head

14) I know everyone was going on about the Porgs, but omg, I loved the ice foxes (or whatever the fuck they were)

15) Poe prank calling Hux - I’ve heard people complaining about that, but damn if I didn’t find it funny

16) The fact that Luke didn’t make footprints in the salt, when facing Kylo Ren. That was a detail I really enjoyed

Then there are the things where I got what they were doing, I even liked it as an idea, but I really wasn’t a fan of the execution

1) Leia using the force - I am beyond delighted that there is now no question that Leia has and uses the force, but omg, that special effect of her moving through space was painfully bad and I honest to god nearly laughed. I can think of a bunch of ways that could have been done so it didn’t look so dumb

2) Finn and Rose’s utterly pointless trip to Casino planet - look, I get WHY it happened - to show Finn the realities of a world he’s not seen because he’s only just stopped being a stormtrooper - but god, was the execution terrible

I honestly felt like it was like the movie didn’t really have anything for him to do, so they separated him from the rest of the cast for most of it, and gave him his own little adventure

3) Vice Admiral Holdo and Poe - like, I get that this was a lesson for Poe in leadership, winning the war and not the battle, thinking things through and all that jazz, but this was the stupidest way to have done it. Like, I get Poe got demoted. I get that Holdo didn’t have to tell him anything. But honestly? Wouldn’t her life have been easier if she hadn’t have to worry about Poe running around, doing god knows what? Like, sending a couple of ppl off to get a codebreaker to attempt to break into Snoke’s ship or organising a mutiny? Maybe he might have helped co-ordinate things. Or helped come up with a better plan

And then the things I didn’t like

1) This first one probably isn’t fair, but I was so thrown when we found out the woman who died on the bomber ship was Rose’s sister. I really and honestly thought it was her girlfriend

2) That was the most awkward and perfunctonary kiss I’ve ever seen between Finn and Rose - and where the fuck did that come from? I mean, even ignoring the assumption I made in point 1, there was none of that kind of chemistry between them

3) That we didn’t learn anything about how Snoke got to Ben, or what happened to the Knights of Ren (although Henry had a brilliant idea; how cool would it have been if Snoke’s bodyguards had been the Knights of Ren)

4) what the fuck was with using a giant spear to catch a fish?

5) The escape of the alien horses shouldn’t have been as long as it was, because omg, that went on too long

6) I hate to say it, but Benicio del Toro’s character. I really didn’t see the point of him at all. Apart from being another part of Finn’s lesson that I feel could have been done way better

7) Holdo’s plan was terrible. For starters, they didn’t evacuate the 2 smaller ships and a whole bunch of people got killed. And, really? Why not use those two smaller ships to hyperspace through Snoke’s ship? Like, I get that Holdo might just have come up with it on the spot, but it seemed more like a possible idea she’d had because she seemed to know exactly what to do

8) I need to rewatch it, but I’m honestly not sure the timeline’s match up. Unless the planet Rey and Luke were on had significantly shorter days, how did they have so many nights in an 18 hour window? Even if you allow for the fact that at least one of those nights might have happened when the rebel base was being evacuated, I still don’t think it matches up

9) I am glad Finn didn’t die. He’s my favourite. But, at the same time, it felt kinda cheap to a) have Rose save him at the last minute and b) not have any main character (other than Luke) die. Also, how kind were the first order not to shoot on Rose and Finn while Finn was getting out of his crashed machine and running to get to Rose? I was expecting it any second and yet they have him the time to rescue her AND get her back to the base. The base that was quite a walk away

10) Phasma being dead. Well, not that, as much as WHY go on about having Gwendoline Christie as a character if she’s not going to get more than about 5-10 minutes screen time. I thought she was supposed to have more of a role in this movie, but evidently not. And if she survives that fall through the fire in the next movie I’ll be rolling my eyes so hard

11) I really didn’t like how Rey, Finn and Poe were all separated for the entire film. I enjoy watching them in some kind of combination (or all three of them). I found the separate storylines annoying and I wanted them all back together way earlier than it happen

The two things I’m honestly not sure about

1) Rey and Kylo Ren - I was honestly dreading that the film would do something to put them in a more romantic context, and thank god they didn’t do that, but I’m still not sure about that link they have

2) I’m not sure Luke would have gone that far with the lightsaber with Ben. But I’m also not sure he wouldn’t. So yeah, I’m unsure about that

And the two things they better not do in the final movie

1) Get Rey and Kylo Ren together

2) Redeem Kylo Ren. He killed Han and is a 30 year old manchild who throws tantrums on a regular basis. I really don’t give a fuck about him

#star wars the last jedi #spoilers #I really think I preferred A Force Awakens #I didn't think that would be the case before I saw the movie #persephone-garnata

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