#why do i have to be the person who doesnt get a say in fuck all even though im doing THE MOST WORK

[saesitoshi]

BLLK BOYS! + “tits, boobs, or thighs?”

18+ slight nsfw, fluff.

ft. isagi, sae, aiku, reo, nagi, shidou.

a/n: im having blue lock brainrot and i cant escape them. YES, i had to write each one individually😊 kinda biased on reo.. hes my fav<3

MIGHT DO A PT. 2!!

➩ YOICHI ISAGI thighs.

he likes to think of himself as a gentleman, so he fears that staring at your ass or tits would make you uncomfortable. but from past experiences and from what hes seen, hes picked up that girls love having hands on their thighs. he loves resting his hands on your thighs and giving them an occasional squeeze. he doesnt care if your skinny, chubby, or overweight, he loves them, as much as he loves you.

“huh? honey, why are you asking me that, haha.” he scratches the back of his head, “if i had to be honest, i’d say your thighs, i love how squishy they are.”

he says as he kissed your cheek and hugged you tight, “i love you no matter what, baby <3.”

➩ ITOSHI SAE ass.

sae loves buying you expensive dresses, he likes bringing you to the fancy dinners or parties his co-workers invite him to. he loves the way the tight dresses he buys you complement your body and curves. he has you close by at all times and is very possessive of you, he finds himself holding you under his “wing” and putting his hands on your waist. he knows what he has and isnt scared to show it off, but he also knows youll be facing him the whole time, so he likes to show off his girl.

“hm. probably yer ass.” he said having the same nonchalant look on his face. “i like having those old geezers have something, they wish they could get, to look at. makes em reaal jealous. makes me the best for having such a beauty by my side.”

“i like showing off my trophies.”

➩ OLIVER AIKU tits.

aiku has a guilty pleasure of sucking on your boobs, he denies having a mommy kink, but he thinks it would be so fucking hot getting you pregnant and sucking milk out of your tits. hes not picky, but he prefers bigger boobs, he likes laying his head on them also, while fondling them.

“i hate to admit, but i fuckin’ love your tits, babe.” he looks up at you while he has his head on your chest.

“they’re jus so damn squishy and round, they sit so pretty, luv.”

➩ MIKAGE REO thighs.

growing up around money and wealthy people, the rich women he would encounter had always had some sort of plastic surgery/ procedure done, which he hated. he wanted a woman who had natural beauty, and a naturally beautiful personality to go with that. so when he met you, he fell in love, of course he couldn’t immediately act on it, not only fearing his parents disapprovement but he was scared that you would only like him for his money. but you guys hit it off just fine (a/n: i will prob write a fic ab this later, teehee.) present time, he is so inlove with you, he likes that you have natural features, of course paying no mind that you wear makeup or not, he loves you for you. he likes your thighs because its the only thing he knows a woman cant change about herself, he likes the naturalness that comes with them.

“Well, i love your thighs baby.. probably because i love laying on them, and i love how warm they are. so comfy too.” he kisses the top of your head.

“.. and cus i know thats the only thing you cant change about yourself so they’re mine forever<3.”

➩ SEISHIRO NAGI tits.

why? cus he likes the erocticness of them. (a/n: is that a word??) hes seen many video games with big busted women, so he’s always found them attractive, nagi also thinks its too much of a hassle to focus on anything else on the body, naturally boobs are the most prominent feature on a girls body, they easily stand out. so he just went with that. he personally likes to lay on them, alot. nagi would prefer smaller chested girls, mainly because he thinks theyre adorable, he would definitely belittle you because of it, since he is so used to seeing women with big boobs, he thinks small ones are less overwhelming, but cute.

“mm, probs yer boobs. i like the way they feel, like stress balls, i like that theyre not big, but not too small. theyre just right for me. theyre cute.”

he definitely was confused on why you were blushing but also mad at him. no girl wants her boyfriend to tell her she has a small chest!!!

➩ RYUSEI SHIDOU ass.

shidou loves slapping your ass. in public? hes gripping it. private? cupping it. around his friends? slapping it. there will never be a time where hes not doing something with your butt. this man is a sucker for doggy, and backshots, o how he loves them. he definitely makes u do reverse cowgirl as well. definitely unironically says “gyat” to you..

will eat ur butt. will do anal. hes that freaky..

“you seriously asking me dis? obviously yer fucking butt dude i love it, i could go onnn and on about how soft and jiggly it is. level 5 gyat mama.” he winked at you turning around, crouching down to get something from the fridge. you sprinted over to him just to slap his butt for revenge.. he did not like that. lets just say u wont he walking anytime soon!!

#bllk #blue lock #shidou ryusei #bllk headcanons #itoshi sae #isagi yoichi #mikage reo #reo mikage #bllk reo #bllk x reader #bllk x you #bllk smut #bllk shidou #nagi seishiro #seishiro nagi x reader #bllk nagi #oliver aiku #aiku oliver #aiku x reader #bllk oliver

[moonshynecybin]

what would you consider essential marc and rosquez watching? i don’t mean races but the stuff happening around it, there seems to be so much and idk where to start 😭

BIG ass question. i think it depends what you want outta this and how you best interact with content slash consume information. for me (not to brag but. winner of multiple historical essay writing competitions in high school. for context on the kind of freak i am bringing to the table here.) the research is kind of the fun part ! like i just started googling shit! i would go to inactive blogs and just search 'marquez' on them to see what would happen ! a lot of the times that works ! but it also takes a lotttt of time lol so i'll chuck some good resources your way, why not...

okay im not sure how basic we're talkin here but um. background. so the documentaries are, i think. the best place to start. theyre entertaining and offer a good amalgamation of clips to provide context for the actual racing. and like i know you de-emphasized racing (which is fine lol who cares) but it really is like the most important thing in the world to these fools and its a pretty visual sport so i think its at least helpful. like yes sepang IS about the press conference, but its also about the conversation they have ON the race track using their motorcycles. which is also somewhat a conversation that they HAVE been having all year long...

i'd start with hitting the apex (2013), its a GREAT introduction to the "characters" that does a lot of legwork to contextualize everything. lays the scene for where vale is at coming into his relationship with marc (both personally, wrt to marco simoncelli, and career-wise concerning his flop at ducati), and also how insane marc's whole deal is in general. the second half is. materially a study on what him entering the premiere class did to the sport as a whole. the introductory chapter in many respects

marc marquez: all in. MY introduction and blissfully free online. marc comma in his own words, with all the implications of that. a self-produced documentary where he is giving feedback about the edit of said documentary straight to camera and no less vulnerable because of it which is very marc imo. revealing both intentionally AND unintentionally about his whole deal with injury, vale, and his image.

motogp unlimited. im gonna be real kind of boring. like i would still watch it ! but do it kind of later, once you know the major players so youre automatically more invested. it doesnt really give you more than marc says himself in all in tbh, and i get the sense him and vale were NAWWWT interested in doing more than the bare minimum for it.

marc's rookie doc. free and subtitled on the youtubes. the first half of this is deadass just him wanting to fuck vale so bad while every comment from vale has me saying GIRL. out loud because the foreshadowing would be genuinely shocking if this was fiction. anyways the laguna seca of it all....

next i would hit up PODCASTS ! i think it makes sense after the documentaries, because these are all podcasts that arent strictly about rosquez (even if they are in many ways the main characters lmao) and personally it helps to put faces to lesser known names that might pop up before i listen to a purely audio product and get lost in the soup of sounds. the paddock pass podcast has two retrospective episodes about the 2015 season that are really good at context, oxley bom pod has a fun recent episode on valentino that i love, again just poke around a lil

videos. these guys have never filmed a lot of content together tragically. what i wouldnt give for someone to make them do an escape room. anyways ranch visit HERE (post explaining the ranch visit here). sepang presscon (sowwy) here. vale unhinged podcast interview the month after marc's documentary came out here. vale retirement interview where he gets asked about marc here. vale talking about asking marc to the ranch here. vale postrace at argentina 2018 here. UCCIO postrace at argentina 2018 here. theres a lot moreeeee just go on my blog archive and filter for rosquez and vids its easier lol

journalism. hello. okay so you should genuinely spend some time reading through mat oxley's stuff he can write (theres a paywall but you can run that shit through wayback machine). he also loves an insane comparison which i do enjoy.... again this is one that can be solved by googling his name and tacking on 'marquez' or 'rossi' or a specific time period or race it will probably reap some dividends. in terms of specific ass articles this one is kind of load bearing in terms of sepang and some of the interpersonal competitive tensions at play. that being said there are manyyyyyy crazy interviews and snippents of articles from other journos floating around motogp tumblr (like literally too many to link) adn its fun to dig around to find them, but mat oxley gets a shoutout because i was reading this article TODAY !

other content. honestly one of the best resources I'VE found for plotting out the arc of their relationship is @kingofthering's everyrosquezpodium series. you can REALLY see it play out lol. also her tagging system rules she very neatly lays out years and races... so if something jumps out at you, CLICK ITTTT ! also all of @ricciardoes fave presscon moments series. insane.

all this to say a small little rpf fandom like this rewards some digging! i would just recommend following narrative threads that interest you ! its also a small fanbase that is pretty research oriented, so if youre ever confused about somethin, just shoot an ask or run a search on someone's blog (@kwisatzworld has endless vale resources and @batsplat is one of the most thorough researchers ive ever seen, for example) like for real theres so much... i also have a primer that i made forever ago that has some links on it so you can peruse that if you so wish. but frankly a lot of it is just using those research muscles and being sufficiently deranged enough to be screenshotting reddit threads at one am so you can post them to tumblr because they mentioned marc and vale in the same sentence and that lit up some of the neurons in your brain

(and i know you said outside of races but i think theyre good benchmarks as turning points soooo you should do some diggin on laguna seca 2013, jerez 2015, argentina 2015, ASSEN 2015, sepang 2015 obvi, argentina 2018, and misano 2019. those are the big tentpoles of insane rosquez relationship drama imo. i mean theres many more but. im limiting myself.)

#i also. found stuff bc i did a lot of digging around in blogs archives from 2013-2015. but this was because i was unemployed #and my migraines made reading books (my FAVORITE THINGGG) kinda hard for like 6 months #so i was acting like a border collie that hadnt been walked in two weeks but like. mentally. and we got here. #tumblr didnt hurt my head so much NOOOO idea why #motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez

[pickled-flowers]

Also just because you get annoyed by something someone is doing doesn't mean they are evil you can leave us alone

#this is about autistic people. #that guy in you class that is always asking questions? he always raises his hand theres nothing wrong with it #it takes time in the class but that's how he makes sure he understands the subject #and meanwhile every other student decides hes an asshole #that girl who doesnt blink and who cant seem to have a linear conversation is not doing anything wrong #you dont like interacting with her but that doesnt say anything about her you can leave her alone you dont have to bitch behind her back #that person cant read social cues? why are you getting mad? can you shut the fuck up? #it is insane how often some of my friends talk about people who are clearly autistic and are mad at them #no its not because theyre autistic theyre just always interupting! #its not because theyre autistic they just make me uncomfortable! PLEASE LISTEN TO YOURSELF #i swear youre all asshole to us #no respect fr #its so annoying to see you run in a circle trying to justify calling someone an ass for doing literally nothing wrong #youre allowed to feel how you want about other people but you always jump to bullying #and whenever i try to make them realize they get so deffensive #just because you grew up with an autistic brother does not make you a fucking expert youre not even close to him!! #ok sorry im gonna go hit my bong im getting too angry lol

[vexangle]

regarding the clone vs robot poll. everyone who voted 'clone' owes identical twins $100

#its their REASONING. ​having the same DNA does not make you less of a person oh my goddddddddd #'who am i do i have a purpose separate from the original' literally yes #the answer is yes #answer me do you treat twins as pairs instead of individuals #if the reason was different then fine but so many responses were this #ur not in the movie 'the island' u are clearly living ur own life as an individual #maybe ur the result of an experiment but like. evidently after it succeeded you're getting to live as a person #like what is even the issue #its like if ur bio mother participated in clinical trials while pregnant with you. it doesnt say anything about your /purpose/ #and. so many of the other concerns with being a clone also applies to being a robot #but the robot has the addition of HOW??? #clone is WHY #robot is WHY and HOW #current technology is much closer to creating human clones than creating a robot out of human tissue in the same configuration #so the sheer contrast in resources required for an unclear goal leans towards the robot option as being fucked up #literally it is just such a waste #if i found out i was a robot id straight up be offended #and. a clone being sentient and having personhood makes sense #WHY would you make a robot sentient. on purpose #.vxt

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

#winters ramblings #seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have #to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God?? #what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power?? #these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want #perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no #if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao #not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion #have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians #wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole #which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist #doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because #believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop #so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know #temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy #like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems?? #youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian #of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem #its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad #because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem #because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people #and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their #religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what #morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about #it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right #can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts #who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand #maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!

[bonesrbleaching]

SICK. "right person, wrong time."

#SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK. #my HANDS are shaking. #what the fuck. #lolaa.txt #sorry 4 freakoutposting . nobody can know about this so i have nowhere else to say it all. #WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE. #RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME. WHY IS IT WRONG TIME. #WHY AM I RIGHT PERSON. #IM RIGHT PERSON. #WHAT. WHAT #HE TALKED ABOUT ME TO HIS FRIENDS. AND HES SO TOTALLY HONEST #I WAS FULLY LAYING ON HIS CHEST AND HE SAYS 'ok i do have to turn on the ac . ' AND SORT OF HALF LAUGHED SMILED AT ME #HE WAS BLUSHING . #HE KISSED ME. #AND IT WAS MESSY AND AWKWARD AND VERY SIDEWAYS BUT HE KISSED ME #AGAIN AND AGAIN. AND HE KEPT SMILING. #AND HE DIDNT WANT ME TO LEAVE BUT HE DIDNT WANT ME TO BE IN TROUBLE #i was 2 hours late getting home. AUHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHGHIGHSEOIFHSEFOUESHFESJKKMNN #FUCKKK. I HAVE TO SEE HIM TOMORROW. IN A SCHOOL SETTING. #AND I CANT TELL ANY OF MY FRIENDS????????? #only one person knows and i swore her to secrecy because she wanted us to get together really bad. #FUCK but like . we cant. we cant do it right person WRONG TIME #but also can we just go back to being friends. do i really want to forget? it was so comfy. #FUCK. #FUCKKKKKK . AND CAM. #cam is so so sweet. light of my life cam. talented and artistic and handsome cam. #but. cam doesnt watch movies. or make mixtapes. or kiss me in the front seat of their car because our noses touched when we laughed #AGAIN SORRY. NORMAL. i need to tell my parents about the movie (tradition that they hear all about it) and NOT bring any of this up #i will be dodging the allegations the whole time. NOT EVERYONE GETS SOMEONE PREGNANT IN HIGH SCHOOL FATHER. #so there is that.

[liquidstar]

I'm glad the "Satire requires a clarity of purpose and target lest it be mistaken for and contribute to that which it intends to criticize" meme is getting critiqued in its usage because... While the sentiment itself is absolutely true... I feel like sometimes, perhaps, it's not a work of fiction's fault that you're personally bad at picking up on satire

#im thinking about how i saw a person say futurama is bad because bad things still exist in the future #and its like. thats the point though? #the joke is literally the idea that if we never learn and grow from these problems as a society these are the hyperbolic extremes #that they would come to etc etc #do i think it was all well handled? probably not. it had a 14 year run im sure it fumbled lots of stuff and has shit that doesnt hold up #but i feel like dismissing it entirely based on just- #''but bad stuff happens. and i want the future to be better so this bums me out'' is just dumb LOL like thats literally the point #theyre taking the problems of today and making them into crazy hyperbolic extremes to mock them THATS WHAT SATIRE IS #there is a clarity of purpose youre just bad at picking up on it. NIXON WAS THE FUCKING PRESIDENT IN THAT SHOW FOR CHRIST SAKE #WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK ''AMERICA'S FAVORITE SUICIDE BOOTH SINCE ****2008****'' COULD MEAN? #idk. this site is bad media literacy r us why take it seriously. but i am. bc its frustrating #bc that quote on its own is sooooo good at explaining why some ''satire'' is bad and doesnt work #but ppl who dont know how to engage w media beyond a surface level have taken it and turned it into like #''this is bad bc i didnt get it'' ok. sounds like a you problem. #but posting this is scary bc im afraid itll be used for the other extreme .-.

[altoskh]

Imso tired man. I'm so tired. Why do I work this hard I am so FUCKING over this shit

#this other bitch out here like haha woopsie i forgot to clock out for lunch even though ive been out for two hours :) #guess ill leave early today! heehee #YOU DONT DO ANYTHING. YOU FUCKED ME OVER YET AGAIN #i am SO FUCKING SICK of this shit. why do I have to be the one to suffer #why do i have to be the person who doesnt get a say in fuck all even though im doing THE MOST WORK #and then i have to sit here and act like she fucking knows what shes talking about wrt animals #IM THE ANIMAL KEEPER. I KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS DEPARTMENT BETTER THAN YOU #Im going crazy fucking insane right now #my coworker is out sick so ive had to do shit scheduled for three people. me. One person #and then im told shit like its just one class! ITS NOT #i have to break them up into two because its too big of a group #then i say ok we are doing reptiles over here #and shes like oh ummmm someone has it reserved for this time so can you do it in [place that is extremely loud] #and im like yeah ok fucking sure FINE #and then we get there and someone else is like ummmm we were told to est here for lunch by [her name] #and i radio her like UMMMM?????????? #and shes like Oh woopsie i did tell them! you can do it at ummmm [3rd place] #im like yeah thanks for fucking wltting me know #Sorry im sorry thus is so extreme and petty but im like DROP DEAD #youve made my work life hell when it doesnt have to be because YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB #FUCK!!!!! #YOU get to have a social life becaus you do whatever the FUCK YOU WANT #YOU get paid way more than me to do FUCK ALL #YOU dont have 30+ living beings depending on you every day #shut the fuck UP #I am so mad that i work so fucking hard and it doesnt fucking matter #so yeah sorry for starry spam but i think hes nice and right now the only thing keeping me from fucking losing it at work #along with a 1 min video of kookaburras im plahing over and over

[gu6chan]

Sometimes I think about my very short-lived experience watching Happy Sugar Life and how the only real potent "message" i got from it was through the fanbase with the realisation "wow okay so we are NOT past the 'women can't be paedophiles' narrative huh" because i remember so gleefully checking the comments only to be hit with shit like "they didn't have sex so i don't think it's paedophilia" or "given her past i don't think she INTENDED paedophilia" or the time i saw an rp blog for the mc like "I interpret it as platonic :)))" like mc wasn't dressing an 8 year old up in a wedding dress, grooming her, doing vows, kissing her on the mouth and making plans for how they'd elope and marry each other

Like okay, you're entitled to your interpretations ofc but at what point does it stop being an interpretation and start turning into cope because this is NOT the topic you want to do that with!!!!!!

#gu6chan's musings #the rp blog in PARTICULAR pissed me off (perhaps personally speaking as a mun who tries to be as BLUNT with this as possible) bc its like #some of yall really want to rp fucked up and problematic characters until they get actually fucked up and problematic; huh #like i get it we ALL have limits but MAYBE before tackling a subject so sensitive you could just..... maybe think 'this muse isn't for me' #instead of TAKING OUT THE MAIN FOCUS OF HER CHARACTER AND WIDDLING IT DOWN TO 'PLATONIC'???? do u know how insensitive that is to actual #grooming and CSA victims. maybe im overreacting!!!!! but literally; when it comes to this: do it straight or dont do it at all #it was an experience and as painful as it is im glad in a way it IS two girls because for an otherwise trashy anime it sure did open my eye #to how how high the bar needs to be set before women can be considered 'paedophiles' and not just 'awww; she's so fond of kids :)' #ESPECIALLY given the mandatory anime tragic backstory!!!! because the amount of people using that as justification as for why she WASN'T #seeing shio romantically was.... *crumples* #like yeah; right!!! bc as we all know victims don't become abusers at all and when they do theyre 100% aware of it #im just saying #y'all would NEVER have pulled this shit if it was being done with two dudes and it shows #'leonard isn't in LOVE with seere; he just made out with him in SR because he was projecting his grief. he doesnt know how to show it :(' #<- how some of these bitches sounded fr #anyways its happy sugar life it's not that serious 😭 yall are still stupid tho

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time #and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again #have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind #ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her #that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right #to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel #that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists. #so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week #and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨ #like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes #'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly. #ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol' #like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like #i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying #a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again #because im not texting back. #i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too. #I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it #i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao #oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour #pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA

[tamagotchikgs]

last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here

#but. #even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16 #i traveled across the country just to see her again #and it fucking sucked #she ripped that wound right back open #which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come #she made all the plans #honestly the train trip there was nice #i got to experience a lot of cool things #but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life #just nonstop #and now ive finally been away for awhile again #but i still miss her #& i dont know why #but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win #maybe it's just my roll #say all these nice things n then immediately flip #she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there #& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO... #like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it #but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe #but anyway. again. i stayed #over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay #n she'd do it again #until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH #she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried #but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done #but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster #even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating. #what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me

[the-2nd-random-kid]

So i heard that the orv movie is real

#im excited for the movie dont get me wrong but like #yeah these are just my thoughts on the matter #im happy that even more people will see it but like #yeah #god i literally took the screenshot so i didnt have to type about it all over again wHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF GKJFFJF #but yeahhhhh #its been a while since ive read it so its a p good time to catch up #orv #omniscient reader #omniscient reader viewpoint #theres also like-- this really good twitter posts that puts my thoughts into better words #thats basically just-- the movie has little to no chance of upholding expectations and that the story and meaning of the og work could get #muddled and misinterpreted like many failed movie adaptations #and ive also been out of the fandom so long that what i say and my own thoughts doesnt even really matter in the larger scale of things #but like #as a person who really deeply cares about this piece of work #or at least-- cares for it but had a much deeper love and appreciation for it a long time ago #im scared for the movie-- both for selfish reasons and 'righteous' reasons #righteous being 'please dear lord dont fuck it up- dont ruin this beautiful complicated story that apparently i never even got halfway thru #ill link the twitter post in an rb lmao

[brightokyolights]

Bro no joke, forgetting that not everyone hates capitalism and then having to try have a reasonable conversation with someone about buying things... *eye twitch*

#to explain we will have person A - person B and then me #so person B is asking me if its ok to buy stuff from ebay - because i am a person that tries to avoid buying from amazon etc #and im like yeah should be because its independent sellers mostly - to be fair though yall. i barely buy anything online because i hate #online shopping. i try to buy things in person instead #anyways insert person A whos like 👁👄👁 oH aRe YoU oNe Of ThOse PeOpLE ThAt DoESNt pUrCHasE frOm AmAzON #yall im sighing just thinking about this conversation omfg its so stupid #anyways queue me explaining that yeah. i try to avoid it if i can because i dont like my money going to some motherfucker who doesnt need #the money (person B pipes in that jeff bezos is on the way to becoming a trillionaire which is Not Good 🙃 . thank you B now i will go on) #A then goes on to explain all the benefits to amazon “what if you want something the next day” i ask if theres really anything you truly #need right away like that. we used to live in times where you would have to wait or find it in a shop. A says “oh but its so cool and #convenient“ and i say sure. because they have the money and grew their business of being more 'convenient' than other businesses #A says “oh but the customer service is so good. if i want a return theyll do it straight away with no questions and maybe even give me #credit too“ and im like yeah. because they can afford to do that. ”sometimes independent sellers are in there too“ ok so buy from them then #If You Must but i can guarantee you mostly dont. not to mentuon theyre probably only on there in the first place because amazon has made it #so its one of the most popular places to use instead of anywhere else #and it went on. i just stopped talking eventually because it eas one of those situations where the other person was not fucking listening to #the point i was trying to make. which is that if you really have to. ok do it whatever. i get that its a bit impossible to avoid sometimes #im not gonna sit here and pretend when ive not been able to get something anywhere else i havent got it from there. but the point is to #actually think about WHY youre buying stuff and WHO the money is going to. because websites like amazon especially have created such a trend #of overconsumption. that you just buy stuff and then buy prime because oh its so cheap and useful and comes right the next day! and you dont #consider why any of these things are true. whos getting fucked over in the process. that you are one of the people getting fucked over!!! #lord i could go on but i shant #point is. genuinely do what you want like deep down i do not care it does not affect me and i know its not so straightforward #but people who just BLATANTLY and actively SUPPORT rich people (forgot to mention A kept talking about how the whole site was smart and that #Jeff was a genius blah blah) can you sit and realise that this whole system and that FUCKING Imbecile of a man are!!¡! a problem!! #i wish i could articulate it better but im leaving it at that #good morning yall xD #le text post

[arolesbianism]

So. Sit with me everyone. We agree that we need to stop worshipping a person or media on the sole grounds of being gay right. Can we finally agree that it's not homophobic to criticize gay ppl with large platforms. Can we finally actually learn to think critically abt how these ppl talk abt ppl outside of their immediate identities and to recognize that just because they say they aren't bigoted doesn't mean they aren't. Please.

#rat rambles #like seeing ppl dunk on james is vibdicating and all but also. yall do realize that even without the plagerism hed still be a piece of shit #and that another white man shouldnt have to spell out to you what misogyny is #<- directed at ppl who watched mr misogyny before hand #Im not saying anyone is a bad person for not realizing. Im just saying to be more careful and attentive in the future #dont be scared to criticize the ppl you watch even if you dont think theyre a bad person #hell Ive been watching hbomberguy for years and he is certainly not perfect #like in a lot of his old videos you can rly see some unconcious ableism #and I could go on and on with nitpicks and gripes Ive had with him over the past several years but thats not the point of this post #the point is that you need to get yourself comfortable with digging deeper into the things you consume #a lot of ppl will say things like 'oh this person gave me a bad vibe but I didnt think it was this bad' #and I want to just say if you get that sort of bad vibe then fucking dig deeper!! interrogate that feeling and where its coming from! #this also applies to situations where you might dislike someone for bigoted reasons of your own #I think ppl try way too hard to train themselves to not interrogate their discomfort and it's so not good for your critical thinking skills #and in fact interrogate your comforts too #just in general thinking abt why certain things make you feel certain ways is good practice and will help you see red flags sooner #is this gay guy focusing more on gay men than gay women? why might this be? is it really the topic like he says it is? #if you think well Im also more interested in gay men that gay women in history so hes not doing anything bad #then question why you think that. idc how uncomfortable it makes you to question your views on minorities fucking do it #cause imagining you arent misogynist or racist or whatever the fuck doesnt make you less bigoted #if you want to be the ally you think you are you need to suck it up theres not rly a kinder way I can manage to put it

[vaugarde]

well i finished renegade. i sure was renegading all over the place

#it was alriiiight.... but man i hate to say it but i think i have more complaints than praises #i DID like florins new execution route and i liked talons deal. the entire end of night spell deal was horrifying and i loved it #i love that genre of horror like ''you die twice when you get forgotten after death'' #so seeing it play out here was horrifying in a good way. talon and amber's deaths were both so fucking good like goddamn #they were just as heartbreaking as they needed to be. especially ambers like when you go talk to tesla after #but. man i dont think meta games are for me cause ngl i was sorta just like ''aight.'' to most of the meta here #like that was the one thing about talon i didnt care for. i thought ''everyone i know and love is going to die and god is screaming at me'' #was a fine enough motivation to go crazy and become a rift. i thought it was compelling and tragic and a good thing to do #with a new character. but then he started going ''in older versions of the game i wasnt even there i was just a prop for the backstory'' #and thats sorta when i started tuning out. like i cant explain why but i feel it made the scene more... cheap? #i think just cause personally ive seen that motivation a lot in meta games before and its gotten old to me #tbh the entire meta angle is whats really dragging this down to me. dont get me wrong i love eizen and his scenes #but i dont see why we have to canonize the game's update cycles as like a critical part of the world #and then theres m2 who i have mixed feelings on. cause i love the character type of ''ive been through so much shit idc anymore'' #and they end up being kinda goofy and saying inappropriate/out of pocket things while trying not to discuss The Horrors #ive written more than one of those types of characters. but with m2 its like she doesnt know how to turn that off #like spacea and tiempa's deaths being a tera raid parody where they joke about being in a crashing plane and get bashed by extra melias #it just felt like. unfitting. (also a nitpick but goddamn that scene made my head hurt with how much the screen wobbled) #like really? this is the sendoff they get in the fucked up and evil route? and idk i just dont think m2 was all that funny. #she was more grating than anything tbh. and i just feel like her existence and the bad timeline is just Too Much #like there were already so many plotlines and arcs and do we Really need a new-ish character right before the climax #idk. im hoping v14 is more cohesive in this department #for now im taking a much needed break from this game lol

[red-dyed-sarumane]

my friend asked me to put together all the ways oumen & apoptosis are connected as songs today & i love those two so naturally ive been on this since i woke up & after really going thru the lyrics Yet Again i think i FINALLY have my answer about tenshi's song right.

so basically we know the nami no ne no motif from aru sekai shoushitsu being present in a song means whoever in the song is still a "person"/still has their free will & gets to continue into the next loop. standard info. in all the other songs this is mixed into the instrumental, the only times its sung are in shoushitsu of course & in oumen mokushiroku. didnt think much of it when the song first came out bc like yeah thats just whats in series songs. but more & more across various songs, shoushitsu, apoptosis, kanon, oumen itself it talks about sacrifice & implies that sacrifice was a permanent death. oumen as a whole is her not wanting to accept that sacrifice role, she doesn't have a choice in it, but she doesnt want it either, (& apoptosis being it was originally that girl who was supposed to be the sacrifice but she pushed it off on someone else, therefore is the reason tenshi's song goes the way it does in the first place)

so then why does she have the motif if everything else including her herself say that she dies permanently.

i propose to u my newest theory.

the whole song is her wishing she had more time, not wanting to do it, she wants to live. so. since she's specifically singing it. im willing to bet its a last wish of hers. that somehow, someway, she still has enough free will to counteract the act of sacrifice, if she wishes hard enough, if she holds enough of her own desires, then maybe against everything, she'll get to live on into the next loop. basically, not a sign that she Does live, rather, just that she desperately WANTS to

#aru sekai series #no joke ive been tearin up over her all day why is her song so painful #SHE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY. WHY DID IT HAPPEN LIKE THIS. WHY #<- literally the end of apoptosis #apoptosis just looooves to cause problems until the one person she refuses to admit she cares about get caught in it #apoptosis is her own beast & u put the two of these together & im just in emotional overload. #apoptosis lying & saying shes in it for the other when shes just thinking of herself #until the other gets taken away from her without a chance to even say anything about it #& she just cant handle that #& u have tenshi who wants nothing more than to make it out alive with her taking her place & dying & in the end it changes nothing #im so fucking upset she wanted to LIVE she tried to lie to herself & say at least it might absolve everyones sins of carrying out this #project & it doesnt do a damn thing #she was SCARED she DIDNT want this she just desperately wants to live & see the other again & THEY KILLED HER...... #honestly apoptosis is so in the right to have a breakdown over it. its like half her fault but like. a breakdown is #the only correct response i think #kanon feels guilty but she doesnt seem to outwardly show that very much #so like. yeah i would also lose my mind if someone i was close to got killed for no reason & everyone just acted like it was nothing #i feel like im finally starting to come to terms with like labo's & yamete's deaths but god tenshis is just so........... awful.