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ashyx · 9 days

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"I miss you more than life itself, my love"

xanthus lost you over 20 years ago, but now, he bumped into someone who looks exactly like you.

(His pov)

It constantly feels like I'm in hell. It's been 20 years, but it felt like yesterday when I lost the one person who made me want to continue living, to value my life, and to make sure I wake up the next day. It feels like yesterday when I held their lifeless, bloodied, and cold body in my arms. Ever since that day, ever since our bond disappeared, the world just felt so...dull. it felt so empty, so cold. I miss their warmth, I miss their beautiful, bright smile, I miss waking up and sleeping next to them, I miss us. If I were to given the choice to lose the world or to get the love of my life back, I would gladly watch the whole world burn with my love back my arms, because the world is meaning less without my love.

It was one of those days where dontis would force me to take a walk around the city. He insisted that it was for my own good, to finally feed, but even if I tried, I couldn't. The taste of another person's blood on my tongue tasted absolutely disgusting. Dontis took me to a nearby beach. It was windy, and it was sundown. It reminded me of my love. I closed my eyes and let the scene in front of me sink in, letting my brain remind me of all the times me and my love could have had together. The sound of the waves hitting the shore every second, the wind hitting my body, the smell of the ocean, God, they would've loved this.

"I have a good feeling they would've loved this place," dontis said, breaking the silence, making me open my eyes. I couldn't bare to stay here any longer, not when I had the privilege to hear and admire this scenery and my love couldn't. "This was a stupid idea. Let's just go, " I said as I turned back to return to the place we came from. Dontis tried to reason with me, to let me stay, but I didn't want to. I was too caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice that someone else was behind me, causing us to bump into each other. "I apologize, I didn't mean to–" my sentence was cut short when I lifted my head to see who I've collided with. It was my deceased love, staring back at me with those soft, beautiful eyes with a smile that could've lit up the whole room.

They were beautiful. "...love?" I whispered out, feeling hot tears forming in my eyes along with the lump in my throat. It didn't take long for dontis to catch up with me, and he looked just as shocked as I was "I'm sorry..?" The person in front of me said, visibly confused and concerned. They sounded just like them, too. "Xanthus. You're scaring them, " dontis said, holding onto my shoulder. I was analyzing their face, trying to find anything that proved my love was just right in front of me, but that was when I saw it. A birthmark, underneath their bottom lip. It had felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body. It wasn't my love. "I–I'm sorry. I thought you were... someone I knew." I managed to choke out as dontis began to lead us back to his place.

It's been 20 long, agonizing years since I lost them, but it was only until now that I realized, no matter how much I wish for my love to be back, no matter how much I've played back all our memories in my head, my love was gone. For good. I've had absolutely nothing to lose now.

A/n: FINALLY DONE WITH MY FIRST FIC!! It's been in my drafts for a while, so i decided to finish it up now. sorry if it's bad, I tried my best🥹. This is my very first fic ever, so please be nice. Also keep in mind that English isn't my first language, so I hope you'll excuse my bad grammar. 🙏🙏

#zsakuva #xanthus #zsakuva fan fics #angst #why did i do this #please be nice #i feel like this is SOOO dramatic LMAO #ashy's works♡#this is so bad #i hate this #xanthus claiborne #xanthus zsakuva #zsakuva xanthus

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beeblelady · 25 days

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The Supernatural Trio

#zsakuva #sakuverse #xanthus claiborne #xanthus zsakuva #zsakuva xanthus #zsakuva cevyk #Cevyk ZSakuVA #cevyk #dontis zsakuva #dontis #zsakuva dontis #Supernatural Trio #calico critters #sylvanian families

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claiestve · 9 days

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imagine your street name being xanthus and your real name being fucking lawrence 💀

#zsakuva #asmr #sakuverse #xanthus #i apologize but damn #like who?#where he get xanthus from #cuz in what way...#did the opps give him that name?

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jasminepicksflowers · 9 days

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XANTHUS YOU CHEATER

#doing anything but studying #zsakuva #angst #sakuverse #xanthus #xanthus claiborne

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xzhdjsj · 10 days

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Remnants of the Past

Xanthus x Reader

Slow dancing with Xanthus

Here's that draft I mentioned in your comments @chilliesillie!

Uhhhh I'm sorry in advance👁👁

Clai yes you🫵 that apology doesn't apply to you jk jk ily<3

Also just for you I made sure Love tells Xanthus they love him in this one!

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

And if you have a minute, why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So, why don't we go somewhere only we know?

The waves crashed against a rocky edge where the land touched the sea, each crash a rhythmic roar of nature's might.

The blindfold on your eyes left everything to your imagination, the rest of your sense dances with the stimulation of the elements, the cold breeze against your skin, the relentless surge of the waves and seagulls screeching overhead.

Xanthus’ unwavering insistence on the blindfold, urged you to keep it in place until deemed fit for you to remove it. You embraced his request without hesitation, excited for whatever surprise he had planned for you. With his guidance leading your steps, you didn’t feel a single ounce of worry or concern. You trusted him wholeheartedly after all.

"I smell the ocean." You smile.

"Well that much is obvious, isn't it? You can hear it too." His body moves behind yours, gently pulling at the silky cloth obscuring your vision. "Alright, you ready?"

"As I'll ever be!" You cheered, bracing yourself for what you're about to see.

You were quick to realise that no amount of mental preparation was ever going to be enough for the sight before you. Silently, you stare in awe and your mouth drops open as you heave a sigh.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Xanthus mused at your reaction than the actual scene before him.

From where you stood, all you could see was water, the shimmery blue and green colour push and pull creating a glistening illusion. That combined with the yellows and oranges of the sunset was magical, like a bottled potion in a witch’s lair. It was straight out of a fantasy film, perhaps the most beautiful coast you've ever seen. You don't bother answering Xanthus' question, instead breaking free from his grasp, laughter swirling into the wind as you ran to the railed edge of the cliff. Xanthus was shocked at your sudden burst of energy, panicking to catch up to you.

"Hold on! Be careful!" He shouted.

Naturally, Xanthus got their first, perks of being a vampire with enhanced swiftness. You pay him no mind, leaning over the metal bars as you marvelled at the shoreline below. Xanthus' arm securely hugged your body, an extra layer of protection warding off any possibility of a misstep.

"I admire your enthusiasm, but I don't intent to lose you just yet love." He chuckled playfully.

"Sorry, couldn't help it. Are you seeing this?" You turned to him, wild eyes finding his.

He continued to laugh at your expression, "So many times, I'm completely unmoved by it now."

"Really?" You turned back to the ocean. The way the water moved and splashed against the rocky shores below was mesmerising. "I don't think I could ever get used to this."

Theres a land mass that caught your attention, one completely detached from the land near it, it was only a fragment compared to the mighty cliff that you stood atop. It blended perfectly into the scenery of the sunset and foamy waves that break at its base.

"I believe it’s called a 'stack'." Xanthus chimed, pulling your attention to him.

"Hmm?"

"The land formation you've been staring at. That one right over there." He pointed at the piece of land that resembled a tall, layered cake. "It was once a part of this very land we stand on, but years of erosion separated it from the headland."

"Woah, water sure is powerful, isn't it?"

"I like the idea of consistency being powerful more. But you're right too." Xanthus didn't spend much time looking around, his eyes were glued to you, admiring the way your cheeks rise as you smile and your eyes singe at the corners.

"You haven't even seen the best part yet."

"I don't know what could possibly be better tha-" Your sentence is cut short when Xanthus turns your body around to face the scenery you've been backing. "Holy. Shit."

Did I mention that this place looks like an excerpt from fantasy world? Because now there's a castle. You wondered to yourself how on earth you missed that? Sure, the water was lovely, but this- this is a whole new thing. It wasn't extravagant or overly grand, nor was it gigantic and clumped together. If anything, it looked like a luxurious mansion, with the architecture of a castle.

“How-” You try to speak, but your words fail you.

“I bought this place a long time ago. It was a good way to leave everything behind and be at peace for some time.” Xanthus took your hand, making his way towards the grand doors in a distance. “Naturally, it became a place I visited when I was troubled.”

Your chest warmed at his confession, and you cling closer to his body. “It’s really beautiful. I can feel the calming aura that comes with it.”

“I haven’t been here since I met you.” He looked over at you, “I didn’t have a reason to be here. Your presence is somehow enough to make me feel at ease.”

“Well, I’m glad I have that effect on you!” You flashed him a toothy grin.

Xanthus pushed the giant doors open effortlessly, like it weighed no more than a feather.

“Come on, it’s just us here. I have something special planned for you.” He ushered you inside.

“Another surprise? You’re really spoiling me today.” You took his hand again, following him down the hall.

“I hope you don’t mind. I did also arrange a change of clothes for you, to fit the setting.”

“Wait really? Like fancy fit-for-royalty garments? Cuz that’s the vibe I’m getting from the place.”

“You’ll just have to find out for yourself.” He smirked and led you up a flight of stairs. Th interior of this place was even more remarkable. The handrails of the staircase were pure gold, shining under the light from the massive diamond chandelier that hung from the painted ceiling. If there was a boundary between reality and imagination, this was certainly what it looked and felt like. Your eyes drink in as much detail as you could, but every wall was a painted canvas. It was easy to get distracted by something else when trying to focus on an initial detail.

Your steps halt at door, “This is where we’ll stay when we’re here.”

He pushed the door open for you like the gentleman he is, and you take a step inside. It was just what you imagined it would look like, opulent but inviting and cosy. You spin in a circle, admiring the entire room. There was a canopy bed in the middle of the room, its pristine white sheets looked incredibly soft and comfortable, yet your gaze was drawn to a contrasting object laying in a corner.

As you move closer to inspect the coloured material with gold embellishments, Xanthus calls behind you, “I’ll be back to get you in 15 minutes. Get dressed and wait for me.”

You turned to ask where he was going, but he’d already disappeared. With a sigh, you turn your attention back to the bed. The ‘object’ from earlier was just a suit of clothes, a heavy outfit that was certainly fit for royalty. It spurs on your curiosity for the night of what Xanthus had planned. Excitedly, you struggled but somehow managed to get the fabric onto your body by yourself. It felt like a workout, but it was worth every drop of sweat and strain. All ready and waiting for you vampire soulmate to return, you seize the opportunity to admire how you looked. Xanthus sure knew how to make dreams come true.

It didn’t take long for him to return, soft knocking on the door.

“Coming!” You yelled, rushing to open the door. “Sorry, I was sittin- Woah!”

He looked like an angel at first glance, adorned in a fully white suit with golden accents and crimson details. But beneath the veneer of this heavenly attire, lies a complex person with a sinister nature, perhaps he’s more akin to a fallen angel. That could never sway that heart of yours, what he was simply didn’t matter.

“You look… stunning.” Your eyes followed his silhouette, up and down.

“I was about to say the same about you. Looks like I made the right choice with this one. Do you feel like royalty?" He grins.

"I feel it, I think I can get used to this." You smile back at him.

Shall we?” He offers his arm to you.

With eager anticipation, you intertwined your arm with his, following his lead down the halls until you reached yet another door. The soft strains of instrumental music seeped through the cracks, enticing you further. Once more, he graciously pushed the door open, pulling you into a spacious room adorned as if poised for a grand event, yet the sole attendees are you and him.

“When did you have the time to do all this?” You asked him, enamoured by the room before you.

“I had some help of course. Do you like it?”

“Like? I love it.” You smiled and kissed him.

Now that you’re inside, the music had filled the room and atmosphere around you. Xanthus extends his hand to you.

“Will you dance with me?”

With a tender smile, you take his hand, stepping into his embrace.

Under the soft glow of the overhead lightings and candles around the room, he swayed your body in perfect synchrony with his. The way he gently moved your body was smooth and effortless, perfectly in harmony with the smooth instrumentals. Each step was filled with love and passion as you gazed into each other’s eyes. There was silent understanding between you, something that felt sorrowful and heart-wrenching, but you both ignored it- for now.

With every turn and every dip, the world outside fades away little by little, but the feeling of the end of the dance grows closer. In this quiet sanctuary, all you had was him, but did he have you?

The music slows, drawing closer to the end and his grip on your body tightens. Your heart rate increased, in sync with his.

Fear, that’s what it is. He’s reluctant to let you go.

Immediately you halt your movements, Xanthus does too, but he doesn’t react. He was expecting it.

“Lawrence, you don’t belong here. Wake up.” You lift a hand to his cheek.

“My love, I miss you. Do you miss me?” He hums against your touch, pressing his nose into your palm with his eyes closed.

“Of course I miss you, but I don’t exist in your world anymore.”

“I know” He murmurs, “Every time I miss you, I come here, and you always show up.”

“Lawrence, my love.” You coo, tears streaming down your cheek. “I’m not real. I’m just a figment of your imagination. A past that’s already behind you. You need to let me go.”

“I know.” He whispers, a broken sound that claws at the heart of anyone who hears it. “I know that, yet I keep returning. It’s funny, isn’t it? How cruel human life is? Mortality laughed at my face when it took you away from me and there was nothing I could’ve done.”

“Lawrence please,” you sob, “You can’t keep hurting yourself like this.”

“I’ll open my eyes if you tell me you still love me.” He smiles against your hand.

“Of course I still love you. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved and the only one I’ll continue to love.”

“Thank you” He whispers, as his eyelashes flutter open.

Before him stood of a void of what he once saw, there was no one in his arms and no gentle hand caressing his face. There was no fancy ball room. There was no ambient lighting save for the moonlight that shone through the holes in the roof. The chandelier that once held a grand presence lies crushed in the middle of the room, and the walls are covered in moss and vines. There was no music, only the crashing waves and a tune from a small music box that’s abruptly closed behind him.

His hands, that were once grasping the air infront of him, drop to his sides.

“That’s enough Xanthus, let’s go home.” The incubus calls.

Dontis strides over to him, a gentle hand on his shoulder as he guides him out the remnants of what was once a castle. He stood with him as he watched the tides crash against the rock below them. Lawrence stares off into the distance, to the spot where there was once a stack. Now, all that’s left is a stump of the landform, long gone and eroded.

“Dontis?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you call me Lawrence from now on?”

“Why?”

“No reason. I just want you to.”

"Fine then, Lawrence."

His safe place is run over, and his safe person no longer exists, but Lawrence still clings to the remnants of the past.

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on So, tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin.

#Eeeeeeeeeee #zsakuva #sakuverse #xanthus claiborne #zsakuva xanthus #xanthus x reader

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zsakuva · 5 days

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Saku~

Sooooooo this just came to my mind but…Dontis and Xanthus. Anything ever "happen" between the two of them over the years? I've always thought of them as friends/brotherly, but now that I think about it, they have known each other for a long time and Xanthus always seemed the closest with Dontis than anyone else he's saved for unknkwn reasons. Dontis is always down for anything, and Xanthus can seem like he's up to no good, too. So maybe at one point, a long time ago, there were some casual feelings between the two that just fizzled out over time? Or at least mutual attraction that remains undisclosed? Or maybe just a one-night stand sorta thing that they both agreed never to bring up? Or it l could all just be strictly platonic. Just curious…

That is a very good question!

#zsakuva #sakuverse #xanthus claiborne #dontis

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literary-motif · 8 days

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Cheater

Xanthus Claiborne x Reader — AU

“I never said we were exclusive,” Xanthus says, casually taking another drag of his cigarette as he looks at you impassively.

You clench your fists. His showing off another on his arm hurt. Watching them dance together, chuckle together, seeing him whisper things to them in a manner that bordered on improper put a lump in your throat.

All the while he ignored you, not sparing you a glance as he continued conversing with the other guests.

“You said you loved me.” You blink the tears from your eyes.

Xanthus smiles, extinguishing his cigarette. He breaks your heart. “I lied.”

#sakuverse #zsakuva #xanthus claiborne #xanthus x reader #xanthus claiborne x reader #drabble

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belladonnadawn · 11 days

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Memento Mori

Going against Dontis' wishes, you found yourself in the labyrinth with one thing in mind only: to save him. CW: Blood, gore, and death.

Dontis x Reader

The streets of New Orleans were filled with colors and loud celebratory music, it was lively and festive– a contrast to your current state. Your mind was clouded with doubt and anxiety; you could only think about him and him only. The world felt like a different place with no one to be alone with.

You have contemplated everything, there’s not a day when his words slipped through your mind. Dontis’ compassion and faith never ceased to amaze you. But you know how trimedian works– there’s no fair fight in their ideology. When it’s time to strike, they strike. When it’s time to kill, they kill. There’s no mercy between two sides, it will all end in death.

Driving down near the lake, took a deep breath as you reached your destination. You turned off the engine faced by silence. The weight of the situation continues to trouble you. You could turn back and hold on to that vow, or you could hold on to that conviction and assure yourself that he’d be alive and well.

It took you minutes– you chose the latter. If you can capture Dontis and lock him in your basement, what more can others do knowing that it’s a raging war?

You took a deep breath, your decision as strong as ever. Gathering your belongings, you prepare yourself for what might you encounter.

Descending down the labyrinth, you could feel your heart beat out of your chest. Your footsteps light as you reach the base, careful not to attract any unwanted attention. The place was dark and damp, the ambiance only added to your fear.

As you went down the labyrinth you could see corpses– supernatural or human. It was a disturbing sight, one that would haunt you until the day you die.

You went deeper, exploring every corner carefully. The place was strangely quiet, you never liked silence, it made you listen to your own heartbeat. And you understood from a very young age that if you can hear it, they do too.

Taking the corner, your heart stopped as a hand suddenly grabbed you. You didn't hesitate to immediately draw your weapon. Pointing it to them, your eyes widened as you finally faced him.

"What did I say about getting involved?!" Dontis whispered angrily, pulling you closer to him. You felt a wave of relief, seeing him alive and well– but still, you can’t help but feel guilty for going against his wishes.

You shake yourself out of his grasp, "You may be mad at me, but I can't let you die here."

"By making yourself an enemy? A target? You know that I am more than capable– we are more than capable." Irritation seeped through his voice, almost unrecognisable from the sweet and gentle Dontis you knew.

"I know that you're angry, but I just can't watch knowing what might happen." Your voice cracked, looking at him with concern. “I can’t lose someone again. I can’t lose you.”

Dontis' eyes softened, "I understand, but there are risks you can't just blindly take. You're safer than dealing with these once more.”

“I know, but please understand–”

“It’s over.” You both turned to see a blonde man walking towards both of you, interrupting your discussion. Your eyes landed on the unconscious person that he was carrying from his back, and landed back to his face. Blood stained their clothes as they wore the same weary expression, exhausted and pained from what the battle had brought them.

Dontis nodded, wearing the same empathetic face. “We need to get in contact with others and see their situation. Both of you need to go back and rest, Xanthus. We’ll handle the others.”

You nodded as you heard his name. Xanthus, the vampire with the bond. Dontis mentioned him to you multiple times, but seeing him personally in this setting felt surreal.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” Xanthus asked, his face filled with concern.

“We can. I’m not alone anymore, remember?” Dontis gave him a reassuring smile.

Xanthus glanced at you before turning back to Dontis, he nodded. “Take care. And don’t hesitate to contact me.” He said firmly.

“I will.”

And with that, he departed leaving both of you alone together. Dontis handed you a device to help you communicate with others. “Don't worry, that's an extra.” He gave you a small smile.

“Where shall we begin?”

“Finally, we thought we're done for.” A woman sighed, holding someone and herself up as her wounds continued to bleed. “Those bastards. Never thought that they'd hide their place here.” She groaned.

“At least we're able to find you, imagine our shock when we saw your location.” Dontis sighed.

“Well, imagine my shock when I found out their location after they dragged me under the lake.”

Dontis turned to you, “This is Fran and that one's Samia.” He introduced.

You gave them a nod, as you tried to help them up.

“We'd like an introduction right now, but I don't think it's the right time.” Fran groaned as she carried Samia.

“We need to get out of here while we still can.” They all nodded, walking outside the place as fast as you can.

After twists and turns, you were finally able to find the path that led outside. All of you hurried towards the exit with Fran and Samia in front of you as you both guided them to the exit. You and Dontis held the heavy door open from each side, letting them escape first.

As you were about to leave, a loud deafening sound filled the room followed by a thud. You turned to see Dontis, falling to his knees while clutching his chest. Everything happened too quick, it didn't register until you saw a gun pointed in his direction, smoke billowing from the barrel. A small gasp escaped your lips as you saw the person behind it– Audric, that bastard survived!

Rage filled your body, you quickly drew your weapon beating down the already beaten man. His eyes widened, finally noticing you. Before he could retaliate, you lunged at him and sliced his neck. You saw his head roll on the floor, this time it was finally over.

Running towards Dontis, you pulled him closer. Your eyes widened as you examined his wound. The bullet from the shotgun left a hole on his chest, making him bleed quicker than you expected.

"[name]..." Dontis croaked out weakly.

“No, no– you can do this. You can regenerate!” You held him close, frantically doing whatever you can to save him.

The sight of his gaping wound as blood continues to flow from it was maddening. You tried to patch it up, hoping that pressure would help his case. But as his warm blood flows from your hand, hope slipped away with it.

You removed your jacket, wrapping the wound with it. Your hand reached for the radio, calling for immediate back up. And with all your might, you tried to drag him outside.

Painful groans escaped his lips as you dragged his body, “[name], w-wait.”

You stopped, not wanting to hurt him further. Kneeling, you cupped his face, “Come on, few more steps and we're out. We can do this!” You spoke, trying to convince him– or yourself. You tried to ignore the amount of blood that continued to stain the floor.

As you looked at him, the lessons about creatures like him replayed in your mind. He was immortal, but he was not invincible. Back then, you would've exploited it, but now witnessing his limit was torturous. You fell to your knees, sobbing your heart out. “I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.”

Dontis gave you a weak smile, his hand gently wiped your tears. You held the back of his hand, not wanting to let go. Even though he was the one hurting, he still found a will to comfort you.

“I… understand what I signed up for… I accept my fate.” His voice was weak compared to the lively and joyous one you used to hear.

“I don't, so you better hold on until they come back for us!” You tried to be strong, but how could you when the source of that strength was slowly fading away from your grasp.

Dontis nodded and he chuckled weakly, “You're remarkable… that's what… I love about you…”

“Don't you dare close your eyes, Dontis, or I'm going to be so mad at you!” You applied more pressure to his wound, trying to prevent him from bleeding out. It was no use, he was getting more pale as he lost more blood.

He looked at you once again, his eyes filled with love; a gaze that you'll always long for. Dontis’ hand caressed your cheek. His warm touches are now weak. “[name], the sky was a… shade of purple yesterday.”

Your heart dropped, feeling the heartbreak physically. At that point your world slowly crumbles as the reality of the situation hits you. You shook your head, still in denial of what was currently unfolding. You wanted to scream, to wail, to stop the time or rewind it so you're able to save him. But you knew it was impossible. Death is inevitable.

“Dontis…” You tried to speak without your voice shaking, but you failed. “T-The clouds rolled in orange hues…”

A small smile formed on his lips, his body slowly resigned. You watched as he succumbed to his fate, holding his hand that once held yours. “I love you.” You whispered, kissing his cheek for the last time.

For a moment, everything crashed down. The reality that you won't be able to see his smile, hear his voice, or hold him close was maddening. All you have was his cold body that you continued to cradle in your arms. What a cruel fate, for they have taken what you truly cherished once again.

Pattern banner from Cafekitsune.

#zsakuva #sakuverse #dontis #xanthus claiborne

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sakuverse · 21 days

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i cant be the only person who listen to Saku's series to help sleep right

#zsakuva #zsakuva andrew #zsakuva zaros #sakuverse #zsakuva isaac #zsakuva kayson #zsakuva xanthus #andrew marston #zaros atha’lin #isaac rhoades #xanthus #zaros

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chilliesillie · 13 days

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wait i realized i haven’t drawn Xanny, he’s next after a hot isaac drawing

#zsakuva #boyfriend audio #sakuverse #fanart #isaac rhoades #xanthus claiborne

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c-t-r-l14 · 3 months

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The Song A Dove Sings

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Synopsis: You sing Xanthus a beautiful song; one he won’t forget for as long as he lives.

Warning: Mentions of blood.

———————————🧡——————————

As dawn made way for the morning rise, with the orange, pink and red hues rolling over into a sky blue, your eyelids fluttered open to the golden rays of sunlight poking its way through the curtains, and the gentle chirps of the birds roosting in nearby trees. The rays of sunlight that woven its way through the balcony window painted the room in an ethereal golden glow. You were enveloped in the warmness of the blankets, the strong hold of the man you loved most, and the faint, lingering smell of cologne and coca butter. You focused on the hushed sound of his breathing, and the warm air of his breath dancing on your neck. You looked at his peaceful expression, the way his blonde hair fell messily over his pale face, and those long, beautiful eyelashes that so perfectly complimented those stunning ruby red eyes you’ve adored so much. Like most people, you weren’t a fan of mornings—and it’s not for the typical reasons. Before you and Xanthus found each other, you woke up to a gaping cavity in your heart, suffocated by the air of solitude that filled the room. It didn’t matter how brightly the sun shined, how blue the sky was, or how loudly the birds sang; mundanity always hung above your head like a dark storm cloud. Seeing your partner’s face reminded you that you were not alone anymore. With every rise and fall of his chest, with every hushed breath that entered the atmosphere, you were reminded that your melancholic days were fewer and far in between. And so, with your eyelids getting heavier and heavier, yielding to the gentle call of sleep—you nestled further into the warm embrace of the one you loved most in this world.

Until you heard a familiar cooing sound. A familiar chirp—one that echoed in the air; its sound fluttering through the wind, just like the wings of the bird it belonged to.

A familiar song.

Your eyes popped open—any trace of fatigue and weariness melting away. As much as it pained you leave the serenity of Xanthus’ arms, you had to. So, with a quiet groan and a lot of caution, you slowly crept out of bed and tiptoed to the balcony window. And sure enough, there it was.

A Mourning Dove.

Your stomach swirled with nostalgia, and your chest felt heavy. It had been ages since you saw one, and even longer since you’ve heard its hauntingly beautiful call. As the bird sang, you took a moment to admire its muted colors—its little body covered in beige and light gray hues. The corners of your mouth quirked up fondly as you watched the dove’s chest and throat puff out to make each sound.

“Love?” A groggy voice groaned behind you.

You turned around to see Xanthus sitting upright, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“There’s a mourning dove outside,” you replied.

He got out of bed and walked over to the balcony window.

“Ah. So there is. I haven’t seen one in so long, which makes sense—they aren’t native to the U.K.”

You didn’t answer. You merely watched it sing some more. And although, for a time, the silence between you two was very comforting, you could practically feel Xanthus’ inquisitive gaze.

“I take it that you really like this bird?”

“Yeah. A long time ago, back when I used to live with my parents—a dove that looked just like this one would perch on a ledge outside my window, and sing— once in every blue moon. I know a lot of people think that it sings a sad song, but I never thought so. I always felt comforted, and even a little joyful when I’d hear its song.”

“Is that so?”

You hummed. “I’ve always envied them.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re free; they have peace. I didn’t have that growing up. For my entire life, I was forced to live in fear—always looking over my shoulder, always flinching at every corner. I never let myself fully trust people because I never knew what their true intentions were. It felt like I was…trapped in a cage. And since everyone was out to get me and family, I never really got a chance to actually live my life.”

The cage might’ve been spacious, filled with all the luxuries one could ever ask for—it might’ve been familiar, and full of the people you loved, but…

A cage is still a cage, nonetheless.

“Do you feel free now?” Xanthus asked.

You hummed and rested your head on his shoulder. Dontis was an absolute saint for opening up his home to you two. He’s helped you guys out in more ways in one. You certainly weren’t ungrateful for everything he’s done for you two, but at that point it’d been months since you’ve left his penthouse. Months since you’ve got to try new food, or interacted with new people. Months since you were able to live your life.

Yes, his house was full of luxuriously plush couches, beautiful paintings, and wide flat screen T.Vs, but you still weren’t free. A cage is still a cage. But even after everything you’ve been through, if there was one thing you’d gained—-it was peace. You’ve found peace with Xanthus, and that was enough for now.

“When I die, I think I wanna become a mourning dove.”

Xanthus turned his head toward you. “What?”

“I remember you telling me something about the jokes vampires make when they die. You told me that if you died, you’d come back as a bat. So, I’m telling you now that when I die, I’m gonna come back as a mourning dove. So make sure to keep your ears open;

‘Cause I’m gonna sing you a beautiful song.”

……..

No matter where he went or where he tried to hide, death followed Xanthus everywhere—but it never really bothered him until he met you. Humans lives were fleeting compared to his own, and as fragile as a porcelain tea cup, teetering dangerously on the edge of a high shelf; one nudge away from shattering into numerous irreparable pieces. He never liked thinking about your death, or what’d it be like if you were gone—so he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, and cherished your presence while you were still around.

But ever since you and him had that conversation, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He didn’t stop thinking about it when he held your broken and bloodied body in his arms—your face drained of any color, your eyes dull and lifeless.

He didn’t stop thinking about it as he tore Audric to shreds after what he did to you. He could still feel the warmth of his blood dripping from his fingers.

He didn’t stop thinking about it when he gave your eulogy, or when he and your loved ones walked to the graveyard.

And he most definitely didn’t stop thinking about it when they lowered your coffin 6 feet into the cold, dark ground.

He couldn’t bring himself to leave your grave—even after everyone left. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, or to mutter any sort of apology for getting you into this mess. For being so careless. For being so damn weak. All he could do was sit in front of your grave, with his face buried in his hands, and sob inconsolably. He’d lost the person he was supposed to protect; his lover, a piece of his soul. And now, he felt incomplete—broken, even. So, all he could do was sit there, and cry until there were no tears left to shed.

Until he heard a familiar coo. A familiar chirp.

A familiar song.

He took his face out of his hands, and looked up; the red, bloody tears still streaming out of his wide eyes. And sure enough, there it was, perched on your headstone:

A Mourning Dove.

Its little body was bathed in beige and light gray hues, its throat and chest puffed out as it sang. And Xanthus watched quietly in disbelief until it was over. He reached his hand out, and the dove perched on his finger. And as soon as the bird made contact, he felt it.

It was you.

You came back to say goodbye to him, one last time.

The dove cooed once more, and flew away—the faint flapping sounds of its wings fading further and further away. He watched as the dove flew toward the sky.

You were finally at peace. You were finally free.

——————————-🧡——————————————

A/N: Ever since part 8.1–when Xanthus jokes about dying and being reincarnated as a bat, I couldn’t stop thinking about what kind of animal listener would end up being. I really, really love mourning doves, and I’ve always thought that they’d be a good fit for listener.

Masterlist

#zsakuva #sakuverse #xanthus zsakuva #angst I guess?#poor Xanthus #xanthus x reader #xanthus claiborne #zsakuva x reader #zsakuva xanthus

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