#yall im soooooooo fucking happy with this

[morethanmeetstheass]

Ok so ao3 when down while I was reading the latest chapter so I couldn't post my comment, but I copied it so I can share it to you here. OMFG ARE BEE AND BLITZY GONNA ADOPT THE TWINS!!!!!????? OMG THATD BE THE CUTEST EVERRRR!!!! OH I HOPE JETFIRE IS OK, THAT SOUNDED LIKE IT HUUURT!! AND OHHHMYFFFFFUCKINGGOD!!!!! FUCKING PISSED BLITZY!!!! HE FINALLY SHOWS UP!!!!!!! I LOVED YOURE ARTWORK OF THAT IDEA AND IM SO SOOOO SOOOOOOOO HAPPY ITS IN THE STORY!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BBFHFHB IM GLAD YOURE ENJOYING IT

many concepts ive been sitting on are coming to life and im having a BLAST watching yall flip out about em LOLL

#ask #kwz spoilers #suna feels the love

[remix-of-your-guts]

YALL IM VERY HAPPY

so basically i was complaining to my friend about the fact that i have titties this morning and they were like "yo fam you wanna binder?" and i was like "???????????" and it's turns out they had a binder that was too small for them that they got from another person at our school who it was too small for but my ribcage is tiny so it (kinda) fits me soooooooo I HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING BINDER NOW

it's not the best... it's the hook and eye clasp kind rather than the typical kind so the fabric doesn't stretch which means it's a bit tight (plus i think it's a bit small for me) so i can't wear it more than five or six hours at a time but still !!!!!

IS THIS WHAT CIS PEOPLE FEEL LIKE?????? BECAUSE I FELT SO FUCKING INCREDIBLE AND CONFIDENT AND HAPPY TODAY LIKE ABSJSHSHSHVJF i didn't even realize how much i hate having tits until i didn't have them

[catcherkazuya]

🔥🏆daiya no ace liveblogging, episode 22 🔥🏆

(not gonna lie i pretty much yelled for 75% of this ep, plus half my screencaps are all miyuki)

- OH MY GOD OKUMURA

- ur so extra - YES YUI SHOOT YOUR SHOT - lmao "were you an angel in your past life?" 

- OF COURSE HE WAS - are you blind sawamura 👼👼 - lol I CANT why is everyone in the "pissing off sawamura" club 

- these first years - purposely not appeasing sawamura but very blatantly doing stuff for furuya - IM DONE 😂😂 - MIYUKI your voice YOU SNEAKY 

- I love when he's like this - ugh I really missed him he was gone for too many eps - MIMAAAAAAA - furuya u show off - okumura really out here tryna sound like miyuki with his baseball metaphors and over dramatic comparisons to how pitches break the sound barrier of life or somethin like that 😂

- srry I love giving him a hard time fr no reason - HMMM 😤😤 "he makes me comfortable" YEAH FURUYA THAT COULD'VE BEEN HAPPENING IF U WASNT DO STUCK UP TO BEGIN WITH - all y'all want is miyuki (I mean, me too b*itch I don't blame you) BUT y'all don't wanna give these first year pitchers a chance - and now that miyuki went and told u to diversify, SUDDENLY everyone is open to the concept 🤔😤😤

- YES HARUICHI LETS GOOOOOOO - lmao yui is SHOOKTH - he's like "fellow tiny person ?? who hits with strength ?? and uses strategy??" 😂😂 - no but really, yui's analyzing skills are on POINT - miyuki was right,, these first years are straight up baseball geniuses 

- ah nah y'all NOT ABOUT TO GET MY MAN MIYUKI OUT - don't TRY IT - 😤😤 - (well maybe y'all can try it) 

- WHAT DID I JUST SAYYYYYY - omg but that scene tho 💗💗💗😭😱 - BOYFRIENDS MISAWA MY HEART - that little eye contact,, that COMMUNICATION - "young yui" IM DEAD 😅😅 - lmao the breathing techniqueeeee - SAWAMURA I- - I'm laughing so hard rn wtf lmaoo

- YES NORI GO NORI GO !! - y'all are wild y'all tried for that base - KNOWING DAMN WELL YALL NOT GON MAKE IT - why ?? - BECAUSE NORI, THATS WHY 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 - a beautiful squirrel genius 

- ugh everyone looks soooooooo good - this batting montage got my heart like 💞💞💞

- this DAMN TIRE I CANT- - first years are visibly shook - sawamura's laughs I'm dead

- OH GOD MIYUKI - you are too gorgeous @14:20 - jesus - LOOK AT THE SWING LOOK AT THE SWINGGGG

- the thirst is unquenchable y'all - miyuki what the fuck bruh - madhouse did him so good this ep

- FLAWLESS PERFECT - BEAUTIFUL - I want to be sweat dripping off miyuki's face 👅👅 good LORDT

- ALL THE MISAWA AAAAAAAA - oh my godddd I WAS WAITING FOR THE BONDING TO HAPPEN IM SO HAPPY 

- miyuki, ur being such a good captain and a good person - OOOHHHHH LOOK AT THAT PITCH - THAT'S AN ACE RIGHT THERE

- YES SAWAMURA - omg kataoka just pulled up like he didn't already expect EXCELLENCE

- c'mon y'all sawamura's not playing around 

- IMPROVED CUTTER LETS GOOOOOOO - whewww that was so cleannnnn 💧💧💧

- YESSSSS YESSSS - SAWAMURA STARTING OUT THATS WHAT IM MF TALKING ABOUTTT 😤😤🙌🏾🙌🏾🔥🔥 - lmao sawamura don't even know where the fuck hakuryu is from 😂 he's freaking out - don't worry SEIDOU IS COMING FOR MIMA'S ASSSS - I'm so excited this arc is getting good we're so close to the tokyo senbastsu game and summer games

this week’s end card! ♦

#daiya no ace #diamond no ace #Ace of Diamond #daiya no ace act ii #liveblogging #miyuki kazuya #sawamura eijun #Kuramochi Youichi #haruichi kominato #furuya satoru #Maezono Kenta #Toujou Hideaki #kanemaru shinji #takatsu hiroomi #hirofumi asada #Seto Takuma #okumura koushuu #yui kaoru #yuki masashi #coach kataoka #kuki youhei #Kawakami Norifumi #seidou

[aphrodite1288]

I just don't get it but actually I hate it when those STUPID fanfic writers write some goooood fanfics abt kAiSoO but instead make Kyungsoo as a GIRL???!!!! I mean WTF IS WRONG WITH U?? They do ship KAISOO but not in a gay way... But in a way in which they do want to see Kaisoo but with Kyungsoo being a girl to satisfy their HOMOPHOBIC HETERO STUPID FANTASIES! That's what is called "Fetishizing" them n not actually really sincerely loving n supporting them n their relationship! If ur HOMOPHOBIC and into HETERO STUFF Why bother shipping Kaisoo if ur gonna ship them not as BoyXboy but instead as a straight couple?? Becuz WUT THE FORK?? They're born men. Kyungsoo is a GUY n he is so happy to be a perfect one so does Jongin. And he is set as the best example for a caring, loving and cute man/husband to Jongin (yeah choke me! I KNOW U HATE IT BITCH) but seriously!! JONGIN LOVES KYUNGSOO BECUZ HE IS "DO KYUNGSOO" and JONGIN MAYBE IS "GAY" BECUZ THE FUCKN KYUNGSOO IS A FUCKN "MAN"!! BECUZ IT CAN'T BE CALLED A GAY OTP IF IT'S MENXWOMAN?? SO WHY THE FORK MAKE KSOO AS A WOMAN?? OR CALLING HIM WIFE INSTEAD OF HUSBAND IN FANFICS OR IN SOME REAL COMMON TALK WITH KAISOO SHIPPERS??? I get soooooooo annoyed when I talk to some Kaisoo shippers n they always believe n address Kyungsoo as Jongin's wife??? Excuse me?? Jongin maybe changed his WHOLE GODDAMN FUCKN sexuality JUST FOR KYUNGSOO BEING A MAN!! So STOOOOOP referring to him as a woman in fanfics or making Kaisoo Hetero fics! Like really I hope u'd stop writing them, it's so annoying when I read a fanfiction n find y'all referring to Kyungsoo as a "SHE". Plus Jongin is NOT GAY if Kyungsoo is a GIRL?? DUH??!! Plus why do y'all refer to Kyungsoo as a wife? OK a mother in Mpreg that is acceptable becuz every creature that gives birth is called a mother. But a wife instead of husband? Hey! It could be the other way around! It could be that Kaisoo in their real life are the complete opposite of what YALL fantasize!! (u know wut I mean :3 ) KAISOO might be SWITCHING HOW ABT THAT?? But some Kaisoo shippers are so annoying that they get all disgusted n Homophobically panicking when they read bottom jongin or topsoo or switching Kaisoo! I mean we don't know what's going on in their bed tho? *loud finger clap* I mean y'all have to support n love Kaisoo in all aspects n expect them in many positions not always Bottom soo n dominant Jongin or not accepting SWITCHING Kaisoo ! I mean they maybe switch who knows??

(✖﹏✖)

My point is we must support them in all aspects n in all the ways not just the way that satisfies our fantasies.Becuz if we don't, then if Kaisoo would ever have to come out to the public one day for example as a Switch couple or as Top Soo instead of all wut u fantasize, then I'm sure many would stop supporting them n get disgusted n so homophobic n I've seen this with my pure eyes! And I'm here to tell everyone who thinks of stopping supporting Kaisoo if they come out different to wut they think, that you're not real Kaisoo shippers instead you're just fetishizers! It's okay not to like Top Soo or cute bottom Nini or switch Kaisoo, but just don't get disgusted by it or stopping ur support for them if they really are, becuz u never know wuts in there in their private life?? And I'm sure they would be sad to know that their supporters would stop being by their sides if they come out differently to what fans think or fantasize about! So yeah.. It's totally fine not to like it but don't stop ur support to them n u must come to learn to love them despite the type of the sexual life they have.

I mean I can tolerate all that. But the KAISOO HETERO FICS IM SOREY NO. U CAN HATE ME, BUT IM DEFINITELY SURE JONGIN WOULDN'T N DID NEVER WANT KYUNGSOO TO BE A GIRL BECUZ IN THE FIRST TIME n IN THE VERY FIRST SIGHT... HE LOVED HIM AS A MAN! N HE MAYBE CHANGED HIS WHOLE SEXUALITY n RISKED HIS REPUTATION AMONG HIS FRIENDS n FAMILY n MAYBE LOST SO MANY PEOPLE FOR HIM, FOR LOVING HIM AS A MAN, FOR BEING GAY. BECUZ HE (KSOO) IS A MAN. So y'all must give credits for Jongin's sacrifices AT LEAAAAST!

I mean no offense. But u can still hate me I simply don't FUCKING care. But if u disagree with me n be polite then I would appreciate that n respect ur point of view.. But! Only if u come to respect mine! PERIOD ฅ'ω'ฅ

No gossip just TEA 🍵

#kaisoo #kadi #dika #kaisoo rumors #kaisoo secrets #kaisoo marriage life #kaisoo fanfictions #kaisoo love #kaisoo love story #love

[mythological-survivor-no-mikoto]

Episode 2 - hello i am wasted - Abrielle

The round began with a Jigsaw Puzzle Reward challenge. The reward challenge came down to a very close battle with only 12 minutes separating the winning tribe from the losing tribe. Awashima however, managed to secure the victory and the reward. The immunity challenge was a match-up game of Dots and Boxes. Both tribes quickly got into battle, finishing the challenge the night it was announced. Awashima defeated Hiroku 5-2 in the challenge, giving them their first immunity win of the season.

After the results were announced, Sam was quick to throw out Zac’s name to Constance. However, Constance flipped it onto Odd for being inactive socially and Sam agreed. Sam quickly set out trying to gather the votes to go after Odd. However, many people felt Sam was also lacking socially and viewed Odd as a challenge asset and the vote turned towards Odd. Olivia initially felt like taking out Sam was not a good idea, viewing him as a more social player. However, despite efforts to attempt to flip the vote, Sam was voted out in a unanimous 9-1 vote.

“I saw my life FLASH before my eyes. I really thought I was strutting out with an idol. FIRST BOOT”

Vi mentions to Adam she’s glad they have a connection: “I have a connection...? glad I know about it” 

10 minutes later, after talking with Vi: “I. Fucking. Love her”

“I really like corinda”

“im ready to kick ass and take names. also im still so woke at the fact that i was just given an idol like. my mind”

Constance goes on an expedition to the Sado Gold mine and was exiled for 12 hours.

“Alright. That's easy, since by the time I go to work I'll be good to talk to people anyways, oop”

During the jigsaw challenge, Katie and Regan were playing Animal Crossing together: “might ahve wasted a minute hitting regan with a net”

“My dream core 3 would be nikias myself and corinda. Bc I know Abby has connections with Rachael and aly has connections with Constance.” 

“Ok I know us losing is tragic but DID YALL SEE MY TIME COMPARED TO ALL THE OTHER HARDS AHAHAHA. Why tf didn’t vi do hard she’s amazing at puzzles”

“how crazy is it that the one person that my score didn't beat was surprisingly the secret one I went up against?!?!?!”

During the match up challenge:

“that was a floor wipe of a first match up”

“2 out of idk am I about to jinx us and make us lose? we'll see”

“Man em is hard to carry a convo with. she just doesn’t give much in conversation”

On his third expedition of the day went to Kanto Plains in Honshu and did the Jenga challenge where he stacked 14 plates to earn 14 expedition tickets 

“FUCKING OMGGGGG. BEST PRIZE EVER”

“I hate pre-merge tribal councils. In my games i am usually out either pre-merge or towards the end. Timing is important and the time for safety on this tribe is over, I trust Olivia and Aly. I like what we created yesterday and the dynamic of it, i don't think i am a target at the moment since they are people who barely talk in this game. I think one of the guys will be going home which would be probably either Sam or ODD i believe, or even Zach since his challenge score have been horrible, i mean i am not talking about the puzzle but how the hell did he lose 24-1? did he throw it for whatever reason? like it feels like you have to try to have a score against you that bad, on the other site V looks like a genious based on her challenge scores so it may just have nothing to do with what Zach did but how smart V is actually.”

So Constance suggested an alliance between me Abby and Him, i think that's another good idea, i just think i may would have to change the dynamics of the bigger alliance chat. Unless i can connect these 2 alliances with each other someway somehow, i may should try to avoid the concept of a bigger alliance at the moment. Idk if Abby see's me in with the alliance that Aly, me and Olivia are trying to make and then she see me in our Trio potential alliance could get me in trouble.”

“yes, yes. To be honest i was hoping to get out Sam instead of ODD and the best thing is that i didn't even have to try hard for it, in this vote my goal was to try to have an unite tribe while at the same time i want it to be strong and ready for the next challenge. Odd is a challenge beast, you can't take that away from him even if his social game is not existing as much at the moment. I was on call with Constance and he was pretty locked on ODD but since he change his mind about the vote and ODD messaged him everything changes, intersting isn't it? Anuway i don't mind that, Constance seems like a good shield for me at the moment and i like that for my game. Right now he is giving the result that i want with out me even have to try hard about it.”

“As man, I really would prefer odd to be voted out rather than Sam. I can see Sam as a future vote and someone I could have a side alliance with if I earn his trust. Odd never fucking talks and he might be better at challenges than Sam? But like who’s to say. I’d rather have someone who gives a shit about the tribe than someone who is MIA lol. And see Sam stepped up to the plate for the challenge and accepted it last night while odd didn’t. Where was odd? Who knows”

Olivia goes on an expedition to the Kanto plains on Honshu, where she completes a challenge requiring her to name and post pictures of birds. She earns the maximum possible advantage: a plus 20% challenge multiplier for the next eligible immunity challenge

“oh fuck yeah”

“Sam is 14 and doesn’t talk a lot but he talks in the tribe chat and in PMs more. Odd never talks in the tribe chat and is bad about talking in PMs and doesn’t talk about gameplay. Sam doesn’t do great in challenges but he at least tried the last one and odd didn’t! But everyone seems dead set on voting Sam out. Is it worth trying to keep Sam in? Or should I just go with the flow. Someone started the hit on Sam and I’m hearing the same thing from everybody”

“we really did that. Stan Olivia and her win. I can’t believe how close some of the wins were and how long it took” 

“it’s really neat when you put a couple votes on someone and they come back and tell you you’re their closest person on the tribe 🙃 hope my girl Abby is safe at tribal tonight ❤️”

“well my tribe is super boring I like Rachael. I like Katie what a queen she’s my number one. Marc I was shocked to see here. Happy he’s here love him. I dont really talk to Adam much Jay and I hosted multiple tumblr seasons together””

https://youtu.be/arjTCA2SN_g

“It seems as though this first vote for our tribe is going to be a pretty straightforward one. It was down between Odd and Sam from what the consensus has said and while Odd may not be as talkative, he is someone who excels in competitions from the looks of it, whereas Sam does decent in competitions but has rarely spoken to anyone. If it is to be me this round for some miraculous reason, I'd be very surprised, seeing as I have given everyone nothing but respect and effort on the tribe. I really feel like I can move forward with this tribe with the connections I have if I successfully survive any tribal councils we go to. I am just remaining positive like I have been and hoping for the best!”

“hello i am wasted but here to make a confessional hehehe. soooooooo i am here to update that not much has happened since my last confessional, it seems like everyone is on the same page and there will be a unanimous vote for sam. im hoping this is the case and im not being lied to but we'll see!”

“Sam - man, I tried. I tried”

#Mythological Survivor #episode 2 #Survivor

[midnightmisadventures]

I cant fucking breathe i-

So i just finished reading cmbynn for the second time. I deadass read the whole thing cover to cover in less than a week. my hands are shaky my stomach hurts. Back again to calling it my favorite piece of art ive ever consumed. My hands feel weird, this book hurts, its so insanely incredible i just dont get it. Its memorizing its the most invigorating love story ive ever could of imagined. I cant BREATHE. 

I almost feel the way i did after alpha hugged me, and i went to my spanish class and i thought about. And knees wobbled and it washed over me. I feel so emotionally connected. A couple of days ago when i was still within the book and reveling at how good every word is, i got excited remembering that Find Me a sequel to my favorite book is already waiting for me on my desk and in my possession. But now after finishing, i wonder what could possibly even be in it? Like this book really covered all the bases. So im confused as much as i am excited. I feel happy to have it regardless. I want to read the first page as soon as it post this. 

But im also watching the movie tonight. Do you know how long its been since ive seen the movie. Soooooooo goddamn long. i dont think ive watched it since finishing the book the first time. Maybe right after, but its not the same as right now. Truly i dont think i ever appreciated the book as much as i do right now.Its really so beautiful and there really isnt much to compare the writing too. This feeling too. Which is why i want to watch the movie. Why its so important that i loved the movie and i wrote my feelings about the movie immediatley, because i know how much the film means to me, but deadass imma keep it real it with you, at this moment i dont know if its actually better than the book itself.THE BOOK IS SOO GOOD. ITS SOOOOOOOO GOOOOD. Seriously yall dont get it. Its magical. 

And i know the movie is too.....i know it is, and im not trying to make them compete. I just need to watch it right now and see how i feel. 

Its also crazy how obviously much more attention i was paying to the book, but how even more i related to elio. Every word its crazy how much our minds think alike. Do you remember in my To all the boys tribute how i said yall know how elio is me? NO LARA IS ME. But yall, ELIO IS MEE  okay. Like lara might be me on the outside but elio is me on the inside. That boy understands my soul. 

Also sad girls?? Do you remember how i was ranting and raving about that, and i said i never related to a character more? Audrey. Yea its interesting. I really loved that book too. In fact i never finished reading it. I wanna wolf that down too, next. So that i can feel how much i love it compared to this. How it makes me feel compared to this. Do i relate to audrey more or less than elio. Its just all been too long. 

Anyway time to watch the movie. And then read the sequel. Im literally still shaking. 

#cmbynn

[hongkongpuppy-blog]

rant-ish

I HONESTLY JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I FUCKING APPRECIATE ALL OF THE POC KPOP STANS WHO WRITE MATERIAL THAT OTHER POC STANS CAN IDENTIFY WITH. LIKE THAT SHIT WARMS MY HEART AND MAKES ME FEEL SO HAPPY AND GLAD THAT I DONT HAVE TO MENTALLY CHANGE A CHARACTER TO LOOK LIKE ME BC WHITE SKIN AND FEATURES ARE THE STAPLE WHEN WRITING FANFICS, AND ETC. BUT HONESTLY LIKE DEAD ASS, WE WERE TO CONDITIONED TO THINK LIKE THAT. ON NO FUNNY SHIT LIKE IM SO SERIOUS. EVEN WHEN I DABBLED IN WRITING LONGER PROSES I INITIALLY MADE MY CHARACTERS WHITE. "BLONDE HAIR" "EYES BLUER THAN THE OCEAN" IT WAS THE FIRST THING I DID BEFORE I WAS LIKE: WTF BITCH IM BLACK. AND THERES SOOOOOOOO FUCKING MANY WORKS WITH WHITE LEADING FEMALE/MALE ROLES. THE FACT THAT OUR COMMUNITY COMBATS THIS STIGMA AND MAKES //ART// THAT RESEMBLES US MAKES ME SO PROUD AND AND HAPPY AS FUCK. THANK YOU TO ALL THE POC WRITERS MAD LOVE FOR YALL ✊🏾🤞🏾🌺✨ /rant-ish

#poc #poc kpop scenarios #kpop writing #kpop woc #kpop poc #woc fanfiction #woc kpop scenarios #poc fanfiction

[saintkimora]

here is how my last date went w joel (once again i have mixed feelings about it) plus how things are going now

so i saw him the other night. i got there and it was him marissa and lindsey as usual but they also had their friends moshe and adiena there. so that was kinda awkward (for me at least). they were all just sitting around talking and moshe and joel were playing mario kart on the switch and then joel made everyone watch like category is, read u wrote u, the s8 and 9 finale lip syncs, and the alyssa edwards drop dead gorgeous mix. it was kinda awkward bc the others werent really into it after the first 2 videos (except marissa legend) so i was getting secondhand embarrassment but it was still fun i guess since i got to sit next to my man

BUT then things took a turn for the worst bc joel made some attempt to include me in the group conversation. i got so sweaty instantly and i was wearing a tank so i was like fuck! nothing to cover it up. so yeah eventually moshe and adiena left and it was just us the 4 sisters again

marissa started vacuuming and lindsey was showing us some books she has. then they both went to their rooms and it was just me and joel. he said chris was still in his room playing tekken 7 on his ps4 and he didnt wanna kick him out yet so we stayed in the living room and he made me watch the great british bake off with him and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring omg like this is what yall call a competition? it was not intense at ALL literally flop shows only

then eventually we went into his room and he kicked chris out (after playing one round w him) so it was just us. this is where the date got enjoyable

one of the things he did was he started talking to me about his opinions on like race and stuff currently in america. and his opinions were all p good except for a few so that was fine. it was nice i guess to have like a serious convo w him i guess

THEN he referenced something from his childhood and i didnt know what it was obv so he was like “ive never told you the story of my childhood??” so he told me and oh my gosh it was so SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD omg im not gonna put all his business on here but it was such a sad story and i felt so bad for him and i wished i met him years ago so i couldve been there for him through all of it. but yeah it was v unfortunate i was like shocked like he seriously could not catch a break and he explained to me how the things from back then affect him to this day w like his anxiety for example and yeah. like obv i wasnt happy to hear about all those sad things but i was happy that he told me bc it made me feel closer to him

now for the part i DIDNT like. so at one point he somehow tried to talk to me about what celebrities and porn stars we think are hot. i did not want to have this conversation bc it feels pointless for me bc i dont keep up w celebrities and plus like the guy im with is always the #1 hottest guy for me so i dont feel the need to lust after celebs and porn stars. but whatever he was insistent on talking about this so we did. and the part that made me feel :/ was that none of the guys looked like me. like literally all the celebrities and porn stars he listed literally looked NOTHING like me whatsoever. like i didnt have a SINGLE thing in common w any of these guys. so to hear him going on and on about how hot these guys are and how they could have him any day and stuff was just kinda deflating to me bc they were all like the complete opposite of me in terms of looks. like they were all super buff daddy types and i have like 0 muscles and i dont really have strong chiseled features either. like i know im prob being oversensitive/too competitive but idk it just made me uncomfortable

and then when i told him all my faves it was different bc he did have a lot in common w all the guys i mentioned. he was like “im noticing a pattern here” and hes right, like if i did have a “”type” he would probably be it. i personally dont like talking about hot guys w any guy im currently with bc for me its like if the guy im with is all heart eyes emoji about another guys looks then obv im gonna look at this guy and compare myself to him which is not something i want to do since most of the time the other guys have me beat. so i dont bring up guys i find hot for the same reason bc i wouldnt want the guy im with to feel insecure or inadequate or contribute to a negative body image or something. i know not all people think like this and lots of people are perfectly fine w admiring other guys w their s/o but for me its just not something i like to do

so that was the worst part. it made me feel kinda empty the next day (in the moment it wasnt as bad, it was uncomfortable but it wasnt until later that i realized that i really did not look like these guys at all). actually i think this convo happened before the childhood convo. but anyways after all those convos that is when we fooled around

so this time it was fun! first he had me teasing his hole w my dick. its mildy pleasant to me but he like loves it lol. then he did the same to me but his dick was like lubed up from when i was jerking him off beforehand and it really felt like his dick was THIS close to slipping into my hole omg i was nervous i was like if he moves his hips slightly too much im literally gonna lose my virginity LMAO but it was still fun! he ended up cumming on my hole which i honestly didnt mind bc it was easier to clean since its less surface area than say my stomach or something

then i jerked myself off while he kissed me and played w my nipples and stuff since thats still my preferred way to cum. it was nice and then we showered together afterwards. and i forgot to mention it but a few dates ago we showered together for the first time which was super fun!! that time i sucked/jerked him off in the shower until he came. this time we had already cum so we just cleaned ourselves 

then we went to sleep. we woke up and got ready and i got to see him eat breakfast! he had cereal and he looked soooooooo cute omg and then we left his apartment together, then parted ways bc i had to go to my car and he was going to the bus stop down the street. he left bc he is visiting his family back home bc he needs to get some documents to do something for fafsa and he wont be back until wednesday. and i leave on thursday so rip we just have one more chance to see each other 

so that was that! also on the date before that we played this really fun game together called lovers in a dangerous spacetime and i had so much fun! omg we were such gaymers

so yeah thats it! one more date before we have to be apart for a month. im really sad about it actually like ive been getting really emotional over it. like im gonna miss him but also hes kinda going through a difficult time in his life right now and it makes me feel really bad that i wont be able to be there for him in person when he needs me. and ofc im still worried he might meet someone else, like a month is a long time so its v possible for him to forget/lose interest and try to find a new man instead. and these gay apps are location based obv so he could be reinstalling grindr or something and i would have no idea since im so many miles away!!! i doubt he would but again i didnt think caleb would do that either and i was wrong on that so im not trusting my own judgment anymore

im gonna try to enjoy greece but im gonna miss him a LOT and i just hope hes able to hold himself together while im gone since i wont be here to comfort him since im gonna be on another continent. if he does meet someone else im gonna be really sad about it but i am gonna try to be optimistic about it and ill still be able to text him like every day so its gonna suck but it could be worse i guess

#personal

[radmushroomboy]

my dogmatic tour experience - long ass post bc i can

So today it passes exactly a year since I attended GazettE’s live in Munich. Boi oh boi the time flies by quickly. And I used to think like “oh these memories are going to be mine oh mine” but honestly I want to share them before they fade away. First of all I would like to say I met so many amazing people there. Many, many nice fans who you could talk to and share thought with. I was at the livehouse around 12 pm so I had like a lot of time to wait but honestly it was as good as the concert itself. I didn’t regret travelling my ass for 12 hours by bus to see them (i meet dope girl on the bus as well tho, still keep in touch) And the Uruha’s birthday thing was even more fun. Few girls were walking around with a book that everyone could sign. Cute. There were so many people younger than me and being in a fandom for like 2-3 years i felt like a dinosaur.

But let me procced to meet&shit i mean greet what. There was like literally 20 seconds you’ve had to spend with each member but hooooooly shit it was too much to handle 4 my heart anyway. Honestly yall who hasnt meet them irl. They smol. Really. I must note I was one of thw last people who entered the m&g room. They looked kind of tired. First was Aoi and i gotta admit he is hot. His hand was still injured so he shook with the left one so it was kind of awkward but cute. He is definitely handsome. Then i went to Reita and damn. His English is actually pretty good. But that mask of his… it looked so weird irl. His thumb is honestly so creepy. Ruki. OH BOI. I was emotionally fine until i looked into Ruki’s eyes and I started crying. Yeah. I actually did. I know Im a trash ok. But Ruki smiled at me and he is soooooooo cute i wanted to pierce my eyes for crying. Ruki tho just put his 2nd hand when he saw i was crying and smiled. KAI. That bastard. I reached my hand to shake his and Kai was like “whaaaaat? The fuck is that?” I was still a mess after Ruki and that bastard just laughed at my hands. Okay I am 5'0 (150 cm) and my hands are small. But Kai was like literally laughing at the size of my hands. Loser. Let me tell you something about Uruha. He is acutally so so soooo manly irl. I mean his arms and his body. Sign. Me. The. Fuck Up. Hooooo man. He was trying to look so cool-looking and all but he also smiled at me bc I was still in tears. The gig itself was great. It wasn’t like the best concert I’ve ever been to but it was really good. My neck hurt for like a week after this gig I headbanged so hard. And singing happy birthday to Uruha with all te fans in the livehouse was so cute and amazing. I was on the side of a stage where Uruha plays. He was such a tease during live. [Btw Ruki and his lantern-licking porn during Nihil. Hooooo bitch I was on the verge of heartattack.] I actually had some good time drinking in Munich after the concert. Plus I was supposed to be back the day after concert in my city to attend an exam. Guess what that didn’t work out. Actualy my way back home was so screwed up. I mean a guy in Berlin Bus Station borrowed me 1.50 € for my ticket even though I didnt ask him. The travel to home was crazy. I visited 2 cities I didn’t plan to. Amazing experience. I hope one day they will come back to Europe with new songs (btw Deux live mmmmmm 10/10).

#the gazette #ruki #reita #uruha #kai #personal shit