#you do not speak ill of soup in the presence of a jiang

[nekojitachan]

Don’t Wanna Fall - Wangxian MDZS/CQL Fic

Okay, so this is what happens when I get stressed and feel the need to write; the mind latched on to this story. It’s basically canon-divergent (CQL/The Untamed for the most part), fix-it, and a/b/o (with some slight twists) and is all plotted out.  I’d figure I’d post it here and throw up the beta’d parts on AO3.

Warnings for canon-typical violence, and more notes explaining things at the bottom.

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Wei Wuxian felt a precious sense of contentment as he sat near his sister and ate the soup she’d made; the emotion had been missing ever since the attack on Lotus Pier, and he knew it wouldn’t last long. Soon enough the sedative that Wen Qing had given him would render Jiang Yanli unconscious, and once Song Lan took her to the safekeeping of Lan Wangji and the Jins, then—then it was time to fix Jiang Cheng.

He pushed aside all thoughts on how they’d go about ‘fixing’ his brother while he finished the bowl of pork rib and lotus soup, unwilling to spoil his meal.

As soon as he set the empty bowl on the table, Jiang Yanli was quick to refill it. “You don’t have to—”

His sister gave him a stern look, her gaze shifting down to his abdomen before she shook her head. “You need to keep up your strength, A-Xian,” she chided, her voice pitched low so she didn’t disturb their brother, who was resting on the far side of the room. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard, looking for a way to restore A-Cheng’s golden core. That’s not good… well, you need to rest.”

Wei Wuxian opened his mouth to tell her not to worry about him, but closed it a moment later without any words spoken after another stern look. For all her gentle mothering and sweet nature, Jiang Yanli was a true force to reckon with when she believed that those she loved weren’t taking care of themselves, which seemed to be the case right now. Especially since she knew that Wei Wuxian was pregnant.

He’d managed to hide that fact from everyone else, even Wen Qing, thanks to some clever talismans (desperation truly did help when it came to inspiration) and loose robes, but Jiang Yanli had been there when he’d figured out the truth, a few weeks after his return from the enforced ‘indoctrination’ at Qishan. From the time he’d spent trapped in the cave at Dusk-Creek Mountain with Lan Zhan. Just the two of them, an alpha and an omega, prevented access to the medicines which helped control their heats and ruts (as well as prevent pregnancies for omegas), so of course Lan Zhan had gone into rut after they’d killed the Tortoise of Slaughter (fighting the thing for so long probably had played some part in that), which had then instigated Wei Wuxian’s heat and….

At least it had been his dear shijie who’d found out about the baby and not Madame Yu, who probably would have thrown him out on the street with barely any clothes on his back after whipping him half to death (it wasn’t speaking ill of the dead if it was the truth), or Uncle Fengmian, who would have guilted him into naming the father so a hasty marriage could be arranged. Which really, what good would that do? Lan Zhan had barely been cognizant (hell, Wei Wuxian had barely been conscious) when the whole thing had happened, so why should his life be ruined as well?

Not that Wei Wuxian felt like his life was ruined by any means. He and Jiang Yanli had been talking about ways to get him away from Lotus Pier so he could give birth in secrecy, maybe have a trusted wetnurse look after the baby for a couple months and then he’d ‘find’ the ‘poor orphan’ and ‘adopt them’. Perhaps not the greatest plan, but it had been a work in progress.

Then the Wens had attacked Lotus Pier, and all that mattered was surviving another day.

He finished the last of the soup and smiled at Jiang Yanli, whose expression gentled into affectionate approval. “Delicious, as always. Shijie makes the best soup.” 

She smiled as she poured them both more tea. “Don't you feel better now?” Her gaze once more flickered to his abdomen when he nodded, but she couldn’t ask him about his little ‘lotus seed’ since they weren’t alone. He knew she worried about the baby, one more burden she bore, one more thing to sap her strength when she needed to focus on her own health, so he gave her as bright a smile as he could to ease her concerns.

They sat together and drank tea, content in each other’s presence; Wei Wuxian fiddled with the beaded charm bracelet on his left wrist while he waited for the sedative in the incense burner to take effect. Soon enough, Jiang Yanli’s eyes, marred by dark circles from exhaustion and worry, drifted shut as she slumped down to rest her head on her arms folded on top of the table. He finished the last of the tea and waited for Jiang Cheng to rise from the bed where he’d pretended to sleep so they could gently carry their beloved sister outside, where a carriage waited to take her to Lanling. 

Song Lan, sword in hand, stood beside the carriage and bowed to them once Jiang Yanli was safely tucked inside. “Young masters,” he said as he bowed. 

Before Wei Wuxian could wish the man a safe journey, Jiang Cheng shoved himself forward. “We’re trusting our sister in your care. You will deliver her untouched if you value your life,” he told Song Lan with a growl in his voice.

On one hand, Wei Wuxian was happy to see the return of his brother’s spirited, alpha nature (the way he’d been before the loss of his core), but on the other… while Song Lan was an alpha and Jiang Yanli an omega, Song Lan was a respected cultivator and owed them a debt, so could be relied upon to not harm their sister. Jiang Cheng’s threat was unnecessary and a bit insulting.

Song Lan merely bowed again, his face impassive. “I swear on my life that no harm will come to Maiden Jiang while she’s entrusted in my care, from others or myself.” He paused for a moment before he asked Wei Wuxian to pass a message on to Xingchen, only to change his mind and declare the request unnecessary.. 

“Thank you.” Wei Wuxian bowed to the cultivator before he left, and Jiang Cheng did the same after a moment. 

There was an ache in his chest as he watched Jiang Yanli leave, but Wei Wuxian knew it was for the best; she wasn’t a fighter yet would insist on the three of them remaining together despite the danger they faced. No, best that she was someplace safe, especially considering what Wei Wuxian planned to do next. 

The ache was quickly replaced by anger when Jiang Cheng slighted Wen Qing as they thanked her for her care; she might be a Wen, but she had risked her life (and Wen Ning his) to provide them medical care and shelter. Wen Ning had betrayed his own clan to help them back at Lotus Pier, and so the siblings deserved their respect.

All Jiang Cheng seemed to care about was restoring his golden core.

Wei Wuxian led his brother to where Baoshan Sanren supposedly lived, a nameless mountain outside of Yiling; he took a roundabout route in order to give the Wen siblings enough time to prepare for their arrival. Jiang Cheng tried to push forward as fast as he could, but was hampered by his lack of a golden core; Wei Wuxian used his brother’s reduced stamina to rest as often as he could, his own strength impeded by his pregnancy.

Ah, lotus seed, he thought as he placed a hand on his barely swollen belly while Jiang Cheng’s attention was diverted, what a chaotic world you’ve chosen to be born into. Interesting times indeed. Despite all the bad things that had happened recently—the attack on Lotus Pier, the deaths of Uncle Jiang and Madame Yu, Jiang Cheng losing his golden core, war about to break out at any moment—Wei Wuxian couldn’t include his unexpected pregnancy in it. True, he’d always thought he’d be mated at least when he started to have a family, but he already cherished the child growing inside of him regardless of how it had come about. 

His little lotus seed wasn’t an accident or mistake in his mind; Jiang Yanli accepted it, and he was certain Jiang Cheng would, too, once he found out (and yelled at him for being shameless for a week or two). That was, once Jiang Cheng had a golden core and they were somewhere safe, so Wei Wuxian could tell him the truth (and make him promise not to say anything to Lan Zhan) without adding to his brother’s burdens.

They finally reached the appropriate mountain peak almost two days laters; Wei Wuxian sent his brother on his way, blindfolded and with instructions on what to say to ‘Baoshan Sanren’. Jiang Cheng appeared apprehensive yet determined; Wei Wuxian watched him fumble his way blindly along the trail for some time before he quietly followed. When he caught up to Jiang Cheng, his brother had been rendered unconscious by a disguised Wen Qing and was being held by Wen Ning.

“Let’s get this done,” Wen Qing said as she discarded a hat draped with long, dark veils. She motioned for Wei Wuxian to follow her to where a tent had been set up; inside it were two pallets and several low tables covered with medical supplies, as well as a burning brazier. 

Wei Wuxian helped Wen Ning lay Jiang Cheng onto one of the pallets then knelt on the other and watched while the Wens did a quick examination of his unconscious brother. After a few minutes, Wen Qing nodded once, which appeared to be a signal to Wen Ning to begin to remove Jiang Cheng’s upper garments.

She turned her attention to Wei Wuxian. “Are you still certain you want to go through with this, even if there’s only a 50% chance it’ll work?”

“Yes.” Nothing had changed since the last time she’d asked him that question. “It doesn’t matter to me what happens to my golden core but Jiang Cheng can’t live without one.” He saw a flicker of pain cross her face and knew she’d been affected by his brother’s apathy before being given a hope of cultivating again. “Please, go ahead with the transfer,” he begged as he bowed low to her, his thoughts filled with how he had to make things right, had to make up for not being there to protect Jiang Cheng from Wen Zhuliu in the first place.

Wen Qing made a tsk’ing sound as she rapped her knuckles on the back of his head. “Stop that, we’ve no time for your foolishness.” She gave him a narrow look once he sat up. “You know I can’t sedate you during the surgery?” At his slight nod, she held out her hand. “It’ll affect your golden core, which will lower the success rate..”

“All right.” It wasn’t ideal, but somehow he’d manage.

“Hm.” Her lips pressed into a thin line as she continued to hold out her hand; behind her, Wen Ning finished undressing Jiang Cheng then turned his attention toward them, his hands resting on top of his thighs. “I need to check your qi,” Wen Qing said, an impatient bite to the words.

Wei Wuxian hesitated; he’d been careful to not let Wen Qing lay hands on him due to his pregnancy, but it looked as if he couldn’t avoid contact any longer. He sighed as he placed his hand in hers, and tried not to flinch when her fingers pressed against his wrist.

At first, Wen Qing’s expression remained the same (slightly annoyed, which really, such a shame to see it so often on a lovely face like that), and then her dark eyes grew wide and her lips parted with what could only be astonishment. Her strong fingers bit into Wei Wuxian’s wrist for a moment, then let go so she could smack him on top of his head.

“You fool!”

“Ow! That hurt, you hit me,” Wei Wuxian whined while Wen Ning called out his sister’s name.

“You’re pregnant!” Wen Qing glared at him while Wen Ning smiled, his face bright with joy.

“Congratulations, Master Wei, that’s such good—oh!” Wen Ning ducked his head and blinked in confusion when he was smacked by his sister as well. “A-jie?”

“It’s not good news,” Wen Qing snapped, her alpha nature flaring for a moment before she let out a slow breath and controlled herself. “He should have told me he’s pregnant, because there’s no way we can do the surgery now.”

“What?” Wei Wuxian snatched at Wen Qing’s hand while he shook his head, upset at the news; what did his condition have to do with anything? “Why can’t you? I’m perfectly fine, there’s no reason you can’t—”

“Because it’ll kill the child and possibly you if I go ahead with it!” Wen Qing shook her hand free and pressed it against his lower dantian while he stared at her in shock. “There’s the fact that your body will undergo a great strain during the surgery, and then another after you lose your golden core. Even if you both survived those things… the father was a cultivator, right?” She stared at him intently as her hand drifted to rest against his curved belly. “A powerful one?” There was a knowing glint to her eyes as she spoke, yet she didn’t mention any names.

“Yes.” Wei Wuxian refused to think about Lan Zhan right then, but he could acknowledge that much.

“Yes,” Wen Qing echoed while Wen Ning stared at the both of them as if he was an owl transformed into a human. “Which means the child will be a cultivator, too. It doesn’t have a golden core of its own yet, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t benefiting from yours.” Her expression took on a bitter edge as she rocked back on her heels, her hands clasped in her lap. “I’ve seen Wen Zhuliu wield his talent. Once, he was ordered to use it against the pregnant wife of a lord who’d angered Wen Rouhan. She survived, as did the child, but the boy couldn’t cultivate. You can make decisions for yourself all you want, but I won’t be responsible for harming a child or stripping it of its future.”

Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around his middle as he tried to digest what he’d learned. “But… but Jiang Cheng,” he said as he glanced at his unconscious brother. “What’s going to happen when he wakes up without a core?” It would be worse than before, now that he’d been given the hope of having it restored.

Wen Qing cast a worried glance at Jiang Cheng then shook her head. “Maybe we can—”

“Wha—what about me?”

Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing gaped at Wen Ning; as usual, the quiet beta had faded into the background until he’d spoken. “What about you?” Wei Wuxian asked as he toyed with the beaded bracelet on his wrist. “Do you have an idea?”

“What about giving Young Master Jiang my core?”

Wen Qing was quick to shake her head. “No, that’s out of the question, we’ll figure something else out.”

For once, Wen Ning didn’t allow himself to be cowed by his older sister. “What, A-jie? This was the only solution you and Master Wei could find, and now he can’t go through with it. You can use my core instead,” he offered as he lightly thumped himself on the chest.

“No,” Wei Wuxian said, even as a part of him wanted to accept Wen Ning’s offer, to go along with anything that would save his little brother. “I can’t let you do this.” It was too much of a sacrifice.

“Neither can I.” Wen Qing grabbed hold of Wen Ning’s shoulders and gave him a quick shake as if to make him think properly. “I know you want to help, but this… this is too much! It’s your golden core!”

“I know that,” Wen Ning said as he placed his right hand on her shoulder, his expression earnest as always. “What good has mine ever done for me?” When she made as if to argue, he shook his head. “I’m not as strong as you and the young masters, and I know I’ll never be because of… of my illness.” He pressed his left hand against his chest while Wen Qing appeared guilt-stricken by his words. “You’ve done everything you could for me, but I’ll always be like this. I’m sure young Master Jiang will take my golden core and make something useful out of it.”

“There has to be something else we can do, you can’t just give up your golden core like this!” Wen Qing sounded near tears as she argued with her brother, yet Wen Ning held firm.

“You’re the best doctor I know, probably the best there is, A-jie, and if you don’t know about it then it doesn’t exist. And you know I’m never going to achieve much with mine, so give it to Master Jiang so he can make a difference in the world. It’s what I want.”

As Wen Qing began to cry, Wei Wuxian finally found his voice. “Wen Ning… you don’t have to do this. Any debt you believe you may owe me for saving your life has been repaid.” He wanted to accept what his friend was offering, but it was too much—especially after everything the siblings had done for them in the past couple weeks.

Wen Ning shook his head, his lips curled in a gentle smile. “I want to do it, Master Wei. This way… this way a part of me will be out there fighting, will be setting right the wrongs my clan are committing.”

The fact that he spoke so clearly and fervently, without any stuttering or self-consciousness, convinced Wei Wuxian that Wen Ning meant every word. Wen Qing must have realized the same, since she sat up straight and wiped away her tears, her expression solemn as she gazed at her brother.

“Do you truly want to do this?”

“Mm!” Wen Ning nodded once.

Wen Qing closed her eyes and took a deep breath as if centering herself. “Very well, you’ll assist me while I repair Jiang Wanyin’s meridians.” She then turned to Wei Wuxian. “I’ll need your help with the second part of the surgery.”

“Yes, anything you require,” he promised, unable to believe that they were still going through with the transfer after all. When Wen Qing stood and went over to the brazier, Wei Wuxian grabbed Wen Ning by the arm. “Thank you,” he told his friend, his voice thick with emotion.

Wen Ning smiled once more. “You’re welcome, Master—”

“No, no more of that,” Wei Wuxian said as he patted Wen Ning’s arm. “We’re brother’s now, so you have to call me Wei Ying or A-Xian or gege.” He grinned when Wen Ning attempted to stutter out a denial. “How about Ying-ge?”

“Bu—but—”

“No buts!” Wei Wuxian frowned at his new little brother. “I mean it, we’re family now. Accept it.”

Wen Ning, his face mottled with red, gawked at him for several seconds before he ducked his head. “Even A-jie?”

Wei Wuxian hummed as he rubbed the side of his nose. “Well, I already have the best big sister in the world, but I suppose Shijie won’t mind if I take on another one.” He grinned when he heard Wen Qing mutter something about how she should have kept her mouth shut about his condition.

“Mm, A-jie is amazing.” Wen Ning paused for a moment before he gave Wei Wuxian a quick pat on the left shoulder. “Ying-ge.” Then he scurried over to his sister’s side while Wei Wuxian was left stunned silent at his new nickname.

Once Wen Ning was within reach, Wen Qing cradled his face between her hands and gazed into his eyes until he gave a slight nod. There was a rasp to her voice when she told him to prepare for the transfer, which disappeared when she ordered Wei Wuxian to her side so she could explain to him what she required over the next couple days. Basically, he would watch the first part of the operation to become familiar with the items Wen Qing needed, would fetch anything she asked him to, and would provide spiritual energy to her, Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng. 

He quickly agreed to everything, considering that Wen Qing was doing all the hard work and Wen Ning giving up his own golden core, leaving him to do very little (relatively speaking).

Wei Wuxian had already considered Wen Qing a brilliant doctor, having read through the medical treatises she’d written and witnessing her talent first-hand. Now, he had to agree with Wen Ning’s assertion that she was the best one alive after watching her painstakingly heal the damage Wen Zhului had wrought to his brother’s meridians so Wen Ning’s core could be transplanted into his body, her concentration and control not slipping once over the long hours. He fed them both a slight stream of energy and tried not to think of his friend’s hands in his brother’s abdomen.

He tried not to think about how very soon, those hands would be in Wen Ning’s abdomen.

When it came time to remove Wen Ning’s golden core, the young man laid down beside Jiang Cheng without any hesitation, a reassuring smile on his broad face which froze in place when his sister paralyzed him with her needles. Wei Wuxian held his friend’s hand as Wen Qing cut into his flesh, the tightness around her eyes her only sign of distress.

If Wei Wuxian thought that time had passed slowly while she had worked on Jiang Cheng, it practically crawled during the hours it took for Wen Qing to remove Wen Ning’s golden core. Only the fact that the glowing sphere didn’t disperse into nothing when she quickly shoved it into Jiang Cheng’s lower belly made the muffled moans of agony from Wen Ning bearable, put to rest the thought that such a selfless young man had suffered everything for no reason.

It took a couple more hours before Wen Qing finished with everything (and finally allowed her brother to pass out); she slumped exhausted next to Wei Wuxian, who’d practically drained himself dry feeding spiritual energy to her, Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning. “Stop that,” she mumbled when he tried to give her a little more. “Think of the baby.”

“I’m thinking I won’t be any good for anyone if something goes wrong.” He groaned as he rested against the side of the tent as well. “It worked, right?” The last time he’d checked, he felt a steady pulse of qi in Jiang Cheng; it wasn’t as strong as his old core had been, but it was there. Wei Wuxian figured that for now, it was enough for Jiang Cheng to wield a sword and fly (for short distances at least), and that his brother would work hard to make it stronger.

“Yes, it worked.” Wen Qing cast a tender look at her brother. “It had to work.”

“What happens now?”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back as if contemplating the question; Wei Wuxian got up to pour them each a cup of tea, and smiled when Wen Qing gave him a slight nod in gratitude for the drink. “Now… I’ll monitor them for a few more hours. Once he’s stable, you can leave. When he’s healed enough, I’ll let him wake up so he can go, too.”

“What about you?” Wei Wuxian frowned when she didn’t answer. “What are the two of you going to do?”

Wen Qing gave a one-shoulder shrug. “What does it matter? You got what you wanted.”

“Because I wasn’t lying when I said you’re family now,” he said as he lowered the cup of tea. “And I want to know that my family will be safe. Don’t make your didi worry about you.” He pouted for added effect.

She turned enough to look at him, her expression inscrutable, before she shook her head, a hint of a smile on her lips. “You’re incorrigible.” 

“I’m adorable, brilliant and handsome, my shijie tells me that all the time.” He smiled when Wen Qing rolled her eyes at that statement. 

“You’re also delusional.” When he went to complain, Wen Qing held up her hand and gave him a stern look before she glanced at their sleeping brothers. “I’ll wait until A-Ning heals, which will take longer, and then we’ll return to the Supervisory Office.”

He frowned at that and rubbed his nose. “Is that wise? What if they come looking for Wen Ning for helping us?”

Wen Qing shook her head then sipped her tea; Wei Wuxian shifted so he could lift the pot and refill her cup. “Let them come. I’ll tell them I’ve already handled his punishment.”

It took Wei Wuxian a moment to realize what she meant. “You’ll tell them that you removed his golden core for helping us.” He gazed at her in admiration, for being able to turn her brother’s sacrifice into something that would protect them both.

She nodded once. “It’s a way fo both of us to escape Wen Rouhan’s wrath without him being turned into a puppet or being tortured, and should keep him from being sent to fight.”

No one needed to know that Wen Ning had done it willingly or that Wen Qing would never treat her beloved younger brother so harshly, no one but the three of them. “We’ll still keep this a secret from Jiang Cheng.” Wei Wuxian had planned to not let his brother know about the transfer of golden cores when it was supposed to be his golden core sacrificed, and saw no reason for that to change now.

Wen Qing nodded again. “That’s likely for the best,” she said, which surprised Wei Wuxian since she’d argued differently before. “He’ll probably suspect A-Ning of some ulterior motive for giving up his core.”

Wei Wuxian didn't say anything, he merely pressed his lips together at the thought of how Jiang Cheng couldn’t see past the hatred for all Wens and realize how much the two siblings had done for them. Instead, he inhaled slowly and took the empty cup from Wen Qing’s slightly trembling hand. “Get some rest,” he told her. “I’ll watch these two for a few hours and wake you if there’s any sign of trouble. Sleep a little then you can check Jiang Cheng one more time before I go.”

It looked as if she wanted to argue, but Wen Qing was too exhausted from the golden core transfer to remain awake much longer. She examined Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng briefly then finally stretched out near her brother to sleep, unconscious within a few seconds.

Wei Wuxian brewed more tea and nibbled on a handful of dried fruit one of the Wen siblings had packed (probably Wen Ning) while he forced himself to remain awake. He would check his brother and Wen Ning every now and then, to reassure himself that Jiang Cheng’s new golden core hadn’t vanished and that Wen Ning continued to recover, then tried to distract himself with plans on what to do next.

He’d leave Jiang Cheng on the mountain with the Wen siblings to continue healing and go to Yilin to wait for him at the inn they’d agreed upon earlier. Once they both were up to it, they’d travel to Lanling to reunite with Jiang Yanli and look into the rumors of Qinghe calling the clans together for war. 

Oh, and at some point Wei Wuxian would have to let his brother in on the secret about his lotus seed, but one thing at a time. He figured he’d worry about that when he was far enough along that they couldn’t fight—well, that Jiang Yanli was there to keep Jiang Cheng from throttling him then attempting to kill Lan Zhan for ‘besmirching’ his ‘honor’.

“Ah, lotus seed, it may be small but it’s a wonderful family you’ll have,” he whispered while he rubbed his belly. “Your aunt will spoil you with the best food and your uncle will fight off anyone who dares to look at you the wrong way. You certainly will be loved.” He thought about the stranger he’d met at the market in Yunmeng, right after he’d realized he was pregnant. Somehow, the woman had known about his condition when not even Madame Yu had figured it out, and had gifted him with the beaded charm bracelet he now wore on his left wrist, which she swore would provide protection to him and his child. She also had said that his child would be a powerful cultivator and that she had an old soul, the woman’s expression wistful as she talked about the unborn babe. 

Wei Wuxian wasn’t one to take such prophecies seriously, but there’d been something about the woman, a quiet yet deep thrum of power to her, a reverberation of truth to her words, and a comforting sense to the bracelet, that he accepted the gift and bowed in gratitude to her before walking away. That and… well, who didn’t want to hear that their child would grow into a powerful cultivator? Not that he had many doubts of it happening, considering that Lan Zhan was the father. 

“I do hope you’re a girl,” he said as he glanced at a sleeping Wen Qing. “Someone like mom to give those stuffy Lans fits.” He didn’t think that Lan Zhan would try to force any claim on the child if the truth came out, not when there was no mating bond between them nor marriage, but there would be less pressure on the Lan clan’s heir if Wei Wuxian bore a girl; they tended to favor men as sect leaders, not women.

“You’ll be Yunmeng Jiang, just like me.” Wei Wuxian smiled as he thought about a young woman robed in purple, her long hair held back with a red ribbon. Would she have grey eyes like him and his mother, or golden ones like Lan Zhan? Best if they were grey, he decided. He hoped she would have his mother’s smile, one of the few things he clearly remembered about her, and the sense of humor everyone said he had inherited from the woman. 

Mostly, he wished that his child never grew up like he did, starving on the streets and all alone, orphaned at a young age. He swore he’d always be there for his child, that they would never know such grief and fear.

When he felt as if he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, Wen Qing stirred and slowly sat up. She blinked a couple times then whirled around to her brother, her hands seeking out the pulse point on his left wrist; after a moment, she sagged in relief then continued with the examination. While she did that, Wei Wuxian brewed a fresh pot of tea.

Once she had examined Jiang Cheng as well, he handed her a cup of tea. “Everything good?”

“Yes.” Her dark eyes narrowed while she sipped the hot beverage. “Did you get any rest?” When he shrugged, she set the cup aside and snatched at his wrist, only to click her tongue after a few seconds. “You’re very low on spiritual energy and nearing the limits of your body. You need to sleep.”

“I’ll get plenty, once I get to Yilin,” he promised, even going as far as to raise three fingers by his forehead. “I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t forget that you’re responsible for more than yourself now.” Wen Qing placed a hand over his growing belly and concentrated for a few seconds before she clicked her tongue again. “What the gods were thinking by making you an omega, we’ll never know,” she said as she turned away.

“That my children will be as beautiful, clever and adored as I am,” Wei Wuxian said after he stuck his tongue at her (while her back was turned, he wasn’t stupid). 

Wen Qing glanced heavenward as if beseeching the gods for patience, then shoved several things into a small bag. Once she was done, she handed it to Wuxan. “Chew on these on your way to Yilin. And be careful from now on,” she admonished, her tone harsh but eyes filled with concern, “because there’s not much else we can do for you.”

Wei Wuxian accepted the bag and gave her a deep bow. “I am eternally in you and Wen Qionglin’s debt for everything you’ve done for me and my siblings. If you need anything, you just have to ask. Anything.”

She sighed and tugged on the sleeve of his black hanfu to make him stand up straight. “I thought we were family now, there’s no need for such things.” Then she wrinkled her upturned nose. “That and it seems unnatural, seeing you act like this.”

“Aww, Qing-jie is- aiya!” Wei Wuxian stumbled backwards, away from the needles suddenly brandished in his face.

“Don’t call me that, and shouldn’t you be leaving?” Wen Qing gave him a cool look and didn’t put the needles away until he nodded.

She begrudgingly waited for him to say ‘goodbye’ to his unconscious brother then walked with him back to the trail which would lead down the mountain. Assured that JIang Cheng would be alright, as would Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian wished her ‘goodbye’ as well and went on his way. He discovered that she’d given him several small balls of herbs that tasted horrible when he chewed them, but helped push aside the exhaustion so that he made good time back to Yilin. 

Still, all he wanted was to eat a good meal, have a long, hot bath and then sleep for a day or two. He thought longingly about a few jars of wine, until he felt the charm bracelet slip along his left wrist.

“The sacrifices I make for you, lotus seed,” he said as he walked, struck by a strong pang of loss yet again for Subian; if only he had his sword, he’d already be in Yilin.

If only he had his sword, maybe things would have been different when the Wens had attacked Lotus Pier. 

Eventually, he finally arrived at the designated inn on the outskirts of Yilin; he was so tired, he hardly recalled much of the last half-day of travel. Perhaps that was the reason why Wen Chao found him so quickly, or maybe it was just a case of truly bad luck. All Wei Wuxian knew was that he’d barely sat down in the inn when Wen Chao, along with Wen Zhuliu, Wang Lingjiao and several soldiers, burst into the building.

He got up to run away, only to find Wen Zhuliu in his path; the man grabbed him by the front of his robes with his left hand, his right hand pressed against Wei Wuxian’s chest, before the bastard frowned and pulled the hand back to punch Wei Wuxian instead and send him flying through the air to land on top of a table. Exhausted and still drained of energy, both physical and spiritual, Wei Wuxian could do little more than curl his body in a manner to protect the child growing inside of it.

As soon as he regained his footing, one of the soldiers kicked him in the back, which knocked him onto the ground. Wen Chao, the smug asshole, trod on his right hand and taunted him, asking him why didn’t he get up and where his arrogance had gone. He was told to get back up, despite the asshole standing on his foot; eventually two soldiers had to haul him upright.

“Where is Jiang Cheng?” Wen Chao demanded to know. “What, you don't want to talk? You know you can’t save him even if you remain silent. Right now, Jiang Cheng is merely a waste. He’s no better than livestock.”

Wei Wuxian listened to the useless second son of the Wen clan insult his brother and the Yunmeng Jiang clan, as he was told to beg like a dog (a dog!) and crawl on the ground if he wanted to be let go (he knew it was a lie, did Wen Chao think he was as stupid as him?). Even Wang Lingjiao started yipping away as if she was of any importance.

Of course Wei Wuxian didn’t take them up on their ‘offer’ (blatant lie), so it wasn’t any surprise when the arrogant asshole ordered his soldiers to beat him; once again, Wei Wuxian curled up in a protective manner to protect his child as much as possible. Part of him wondered how the soldiers would react if they knew they were attacking a pregnant omega, before he decided that Wen Chao probably wouldn’t care about breaking such an important taboo (and he couldn’t risk the Wens finding out that Lan Zhan was the father).

The assault eventually stopped, only for Wen Chao to threaten Wei Wuxian as if he was anything more than a pathetic bully whose only real power lay in the weapons his father loaned out to him. There was a moment of fear when he called upon Wen Zhuliu to destroy Wei Wuxian’s core, but Wei Wuxian managed to talk his way out of it before the man moved to obey. He foolishly believed that might be improving (despite Wang Lingjiao slicing into his chest with that damn brand she never seemed to be without), before he was dragged out of outside and hauled into the air.

At first he thought they might be taking him to Qishan with the intent of throwing him in the dungeons there, but eventually Wen Chao, the pompous asshole, began talking about the Burial Mounds in Yiling. Wei Wuxian’s eyes grew wide and his heart raced when it became clear what was going to happen to him, but he was too battered and drained of energy to do more than attempt to struggle. Not a moment later, mocking laughter broke out as he was flung downward, toward the darkness and source of overpowering resentful energy that was the Burial Mounds.

Pushing all panic aside, he quickly cast a talisman for wind in an attempt to slow his descent; it worked somewhat, but he still rushed toward the ground. He tried another one, which seemed to have a greater effect (there was an odd heat around his left wrist for some reason), so he then cast his binding spell, the gleaming blue thread forming on his left wrist, which he cast out as he quickly approached what looked to be large trees. Be it by luck or the blessings of the gods, it managed to latch on to one of the tall, spindly structures. A sharp pain tore through his left shoulder when the line grew taut, but his impact upon the ground was lessened to the point that he didn’t die immediately.

No, he merely passed out.

He woke to the sound of screams, of voices calling out his names and cries of vengeance, and a wall of fierce corpses standing in the near distance. Surprised that he hadn’t been devoured by the undead creatures while unconscious, he noticed two things: that there was a glowing, pale blue circle around him and that just outside of it floated the sword he’d found inside the Tortoise of Slaughter and had placed inside his quankin pouch. Confused, battered both by resentful energies and what the Wens had done to him, Wei Wuxian managed to sit up somewhat, hunched forward as he felt for the spark of life inside of him that had been steadily growing the last few months. He almost slumped face first into the ground when he realized that his unborn child had survived everything (so far, a hysterical voice whispered in his head) by some miraculous means.

He needed to get his act together and ensure his lotus seed remained alright; that meant figuring a way to get out of the Burial Mounds alive, something no one had ever done. It was a good thing the Yunmeng Jiang clan’s motto was ‘attempt the impossible’.

He took in the bleak surroundings: the bones scattered everywhere and numerous gravestones, the mist which obscured his vision after a few yards, and a lack of sunlight which made it impossible to tell the time of day. There was the oppressive miasma of resentful energy along with the endless chorus of voices calling out to him, which he did his best to block out of his head. His right hand clutched at the bracelet around his left wrist while he attempted to concentrate, his fingers quick to find the gap from two missing beads.

Had they been broken in the fall? Or during the beating back at the inn? Wei Wuxian didn’t have much time to ponder what had happened to the charm since the intensity of the voices’ shrieking increased to a painful level, as did the pressure from the resentful energy. He struggled to fight against the insidious forces, but he didn’t have much spiritual energy.

However, he remembered that the odd sword had some sort of power to it, that it seemed tied to the ghostly voices in the Dusk-Creek Mountain cave. Or maybe he’d hit his head on something during the fall, or been kicked one too many times by those Wen bastards. The thing was, he and his unborn child weren’t going anywhere unless he did something, and right then? The sword seemed the only source of power around, which meant it might be of some help.

Or it might be one huge mistake, but Wei Wuxian didn’t have many choices available as well as a history of turning mistakes into his favor (well, mostly). 

He half-crawled toward the sword and only hesitated a moment to reach past the safety of the circle (where had it come from?) for the weapon’s hilt. For a moment all was quiet, and then the screaming came back in force.

Wei Wuxian

Do you want vengeance?

Young Master Wei

Stay with us

Hurt the ones who’ve hurt you, Wei Wuxian

Wei Ying

Do you want to stay?

What about vengeance?

The voices were so loud, so constant, as were their shrieks of pain and rage. He thought some of them sounded familiar, thought they might be the dead from Lotus Pier, yet he also thought he heard Lan Zhan say his name once or twice when he dwelled on the voices calling for vengeance. By the time he reached the sword, the voices were an incoherent cacophony in his head that funneled to one thunderous question as his hands wrapped around ice-cold metal.

DO YOU WANT VENGEANCE?

For a moment, Wei Wuxian could see himself standing in the Palace of Sun and Flames, surrounded by an endless sea of Wen corpses, the heads of Wen Rouhan and his sons mounted on pikes behind him. He hungered for the vision to come true, for the Wens to pay for what they’d done to the Jiangs and the Lans… and then he felt a faint flutter in his belly and heard Wen Qing chide him to take better care of himself.

“I… I want the power to protect myself and my loved ones,” he told the voice (the sword?). “To defend them from those who would cause harm.” Who had caused harm.

VENGEANCE!

He thought of Jiang Yanli and shook his head.”I want more than that for my child!” He didn’t want someone to come after her for what he’d done, he wanted an end to the fighting. “Protection!”

Child? 

A child. Home

Family

It was faint, but some of the voices seemed to be breaking off from the sword. “Yes, a child, my child. I’ll fight anyone to keep them safe, can’t you understand that?” To give them a happy, safe life.” I want to give them peace, not eternal war,” he pleaded with the sword and the voices. “I understand revenge, I want it, too, but not at the cost of my child’s peace. Help me give my child peace.”

Vengeance

Family, they took away my family

I only wanted a husband and child of my own

Wei Ying

My child was so young

Was he getting somewhere with them? Wei Wuxian gritted his teeth together, his hands long turned numb from holding onto the sword, and offered the voices (the dead) a consoling smile. “Help me, and I’ll help you,” he promised.

*******

Somehow all my italics got messed up. Grrr.

So, the a/b/o here - it’s more lowkey than in other fics, if you can’t tell, and basically comes across as how people reproduce. People don’t put down omegas as being weak or lesser, it just means they are more fertile than betas and can bear children (and so usually have a protected status, especially when pregnant). An alpha/omega pairing will produce the most offspring, but other pairings can technically produce them as well, just with less odds of success. That means no one looks down on WWX for being an omega, though they’d chastise him (and his partner) for having a child out of wedlock and for him not taking care of himself while pregnant. That’s more to deal with the value placed on family and honor than anything.

No obvious scenting, either, at least not until one is in heat/rut, and it’s considered normal for people to take daily medicine (tea or the such) to lessen the impact of them if not put them off all-together, and to prevent unplanned pregnancies.

Also, I’m probably going to skip most honorifics except the immediate family ones. I’ve only the very beginning knowledge of Chinese. Please forgive any mistakes there along with the culture, I appreciate any corrections.

And I promise, a new chapter of Casts a Shadow up this weekend!

#nekojitachanfics #mumbling into the void #don't wanna fall fic #wangxian #the untamed #mdzs #cql

[drwcn]

discordance!verse part 8 (1/2):  Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan sit down to discuss damage control. 

in which wwx is lxc’s husband through political alliance, and there is an affair.

[7] | [6] | [5] | [4] | [3] | [2] | [1] [synopsis]  OR see [discordance navigation page] for all installments 

following part 3

When he was a child, the townsfolks of Lotus Pier used to tell tales of the eighteen levels of 地狱 (hell), and that when bad people died, the little demons of the underworld would drag their souls to the lowest pit and throw them into a vat of boiling oil. Jiang Cheng used to scoff and call these stories stupid, but even so, he would shrink back against his da-shixiong and cling just a little tighter onto the back of Wei Wuxian's uniform. Wei Wuxian used to laugh, pat Jiang Cheng on the shoulder and say, "Aiyo A-Cheng, like you said, it's just a stupid story. And besides, only bad people go to hell. We're not bad, so we don't have to worry about it!"

This is a rule unanimously accepted that good people are allowed to reincarnate and bad people are sent to hell to suffer, bad people like murderers and rapists, and kidnappers and adulterers - Adulterers.

If hell is a vat of boiling oil, then maybe the stories are true after all, because for seven days, Wei Wuxian burns.

For seven days, he exists in a place that is neither here nor there. He is disembodied, suspended, and unable to move or speak or see.  

There are flames dancing on his skin and a fire raging from his core through his bones. He cannot scream; he cannot run. He can neither feel nor move his limbs, or know if indeed he still has them. Each breath he takes is liquid heat flooding his lungs. His entire world is airless and yet somehow heavy like lead, suffocating him and crushing him into himself. There is no up no down, no north or south or time or space, only the never ending moment of the unrelenting pain.   Even so, in the back of his mind, where the little boy Wei Ying who grew up listening to the old wives' tales hides, he knows that he deserves every minute of this. His actions have ruined himself, ruined Lan Zhan, and if news of this gets out, he would've brought shame upon all of Yunmeng Jiang. Their First Disciple, Jiang Fengmian's treasured ward whom he favoured better than his own son, turns to be nothing more than a - how did that one disciple put it, as yes - faithless whore.

Wei Wuxian knows that he is not dead. He knows this because though he cannot speak and cannot hide, he can still hear the words of those around him: the disciples guarding his room, the healers changing his bandages, and the elders that come to check on him once a day.

I liked Wei-jun, he's nice to the juniors and outer disciples, but how could he do such a thing to Zewu-jun! -

He's ruined our Er-gongzi, you know it's true -

- loud, brash, annoying. He's not a Lan and he'll never be a Lan - Poor Zewu-jun -

I would have expected better of Lan Wangji.

Humiliated our Sect Master -

If they hadn't caught him with Hanguang-jun, I'd eat my ribbon before I believe something like this -

Betrayed him -

Used Hanguang-jun -

What does Er-gongzi even see in him?

Is it really so hard to imagine? They are both young. The young are often reckless and sentimental.

This can't be Wangji's fault.

It's not Lan Zhan's fault. How could it be? How could any of this be Lan Zhan's fault when all he's ever tried to do is shield Wei Wuxian, to be his friend, his confidant, his shoulder to lean on when he had no one to turn to in Cloud Recesses.

Wei Wuxian knows that to the outside world, he has already been granted more than he should have. A son of a servant married high above his station to the esteemed Zewu-jun, the leading cultivator of their generation, handsome, kind and the best of men. Even in death, Lan Xichen had found a way to miraculously return to him. What more could Wei Wuxian possibly want? How shameless, how greedy is he to want anything - anyone - else? 

And how dare he think that someone like him deserves someone as good as Lan Zhan?

Wei Ying…

Wei Wuxian knows he doesn't deserve Lan Zhan, but he remembers every touch, every smile, every memory, bad, good, or bittersweet. He remembers Lan Zhan's hands, warm and firm around his own, under the table where they sat side by side dredging through tedious paper work, burning the midnight oil. He remembers Bichen glistening under the sun, clashing with Suibian as they duelled in the training ground for the juniors to observe. He remembers the soft gasp that escaped those lips the first he let Lan Zhan undress him in the dark. He remembers, and remembers and remembers, and he doesn't regret. Even if it's wrong, even if it's a crime, Wei Wuxian cannot regret Lan Wangji. Not at all. Not one second of it.

Perhaps he always knew that it couldn't last. Nothing gold ever stayed. Perhaps he always knew this day was coming, but even if he could go back and redo everything, he would choose the same and fall again, and again, and again. Lan Zhan loves him, trusts him, and has given himself to him, and he will not sully Lan Zhan's faith with the ugliness of doubt.

If only he could protect Lan Zhan the way Lan Zhan has always protected him…

The pain of the lashes he can endure, but the guilt of knowing an association with him has possibly tainted Lan Zhan for the rest of his life no pain can compare.

For that, he might've cried, but he's not sure. The fire burns it all away.

On the eighth morning after the discovery of the affair, Wei Wuxian awakens from a dreamless sleep, emerging from the vapours of the fire that has mercifully dwindled. Slowly his eyes open, bringing into sight a ceiling he does not recognize.

A cool cloth is pressed against his neck. He savours the small respite, blinking several times to clear the fog from his eyes. At some point, the Lans must've removed him from hanshi where Lan Xichen initially brought him. Missing from his view is the pale tulle canopy that drapes over the bed he shares with Lan Xichen. The bed beneath him is hard too, more akin to the bed he had as a guest disciple than accommodations befitting either of the Jades.

"A-Xian…"

The cool cloth is replaced with the back of a gentle hand laying against his forehead.

Shijie…?

"Shi-shijie?" His voice croaks, hoarse from disuse. His entire mouth is desert-dry and tastes like death warmed over. How could his sister be here?! Gusu Lan actually allowed her to visit him?! Wei Wuxian has so many questions. He tries to sit up, but pain explodes across his body with even the slightest movement. Swallowing an agonized cry, he collapses back down.

"Don't get up, A-Xian. You've been running a fever for days."

Jiang Yanli's presence brings him a margin of peace and comfort, though he has questions she won't answer. Instead, she washes his face and brushes out his hair and does not say word throughout. Worry draws in her brows tightly, and the tension in her body is palpable.

When she is satisfied with the amount of lotus and pork bone soup she's managed to spoon feed into him, Jiang Yanli holds his hand and tells him that Madam Yu and Yunmeng Jiang's elders have arrived.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The situation as it stands is abysmal, Lan Zonghui knows. The public nature of the affair is such that both families are scrambling to save face.

The nine Jiang Elders, dressed in dark maroon, navy and Yunmeng violet, sit opposing them on one side of the room. On their own side, the nine most prominent Lan Elders stare stoically at their counterparts. It would have been poor manners - not to mention cramped - to invite all thirty-three of them to the "emergency family meeting". Nine is more than enough to represent Cloud Recesses, and however the discussion goes, trust is placed upon the nine to come to an arrangement that satisfies the needs and dignity of both families.

…Not that there's much dignity left to salvage. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian's sordid affair is a thing of public knowledge by now.

At the front of the room, Lan Qiren and Yu Ziyuan match each other grimace for grimace, both of equal displeasure. Lan Zonghui isn't sure whether he should be glad or upset that Jiang Fengmian has not deigned it his responsibility to show up in person, instead dispatching his lady to do the dirty work of negotiating for him.

Whether Jiang Fengmian is truly so distraught by his favourite ward's misconduct that he truly took ill or it's just another excuse to avoid facing the inevitable is inconsequential now. Yu Ziyuan - the Violet Spider - is the one they must content with, and though she is not known to favour Wei Wuxian, Madam Yu is quick-tempered, stubborn, and protective of Lotus Pier to a fault.

Whatever she lacks in care for Wei Wuxian personally, she makes up for in her pride for her clan and family.

The Lans opt to comment nothing of Jiang Fengmian's lack of attendance. On their part, Lan Xichen is equally absent. As he is the "offended" party, his presence ought to have been the most needed, but the Elders collectively decided that Xichen's behaviour in the past week has been stranger than strange. Not only was he not upset, but he seemed to have known about it all along and has been passively supporting the development of Wangji and Wei Wuxian's relationship.

Xichen is of the loud opinion that he and Wei Wuxian should be granted an amicable separation and that Wangji should be allowed to marry his divorcé in his stead. If his intent is giving at least one of the Elders a stroke, then he's come pretty damn close.

We've never consummated our marriage. Wangji and A-Xian betrayed the trust of no one. They care for each other dearly and I don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to marry.

What utter nonsense! Where on earth are the youngsters getting such wickedly inappropriate ideas??!

Xichen, he is your lawfully wedded husband, not some whore you picked up off the side of the road that you can easily gift to another!!

Those were angry careless words, not meant to be taken literally, but Xichen had visibly stiffened, the colour draining from his face.

You've bowed before Heaven and Earth, in front of Clan Elders and honoured guests. Even the disciples whisper about you and Wei Wuxian's …encounter in the Cold Pond. We've elected to overlook such an infraction, but now you dare to claim that you two are - are - Who's going to believe you?!

Perhaps, ponders Lan Zonghui, Gusu Lans are not made for love. Each time love finds one of them, it brings with it equal parts tragedy and despair.

Xichen and Wangi are both demonstrating unprecedented impertinence, qualities Lan Zonghui did not think were part of their characters, despite bearing witness to their growth.

Though…this wouldn't be the first time he misjudged a boy he thought he knew.

Wangji's fierceness when he pointed the Nie saber at his family, and Xichen's cold nonchalance towards his Elders' admonishments - it all reminds Zonghui too well of another young Sect Master Lan, twenty something years ago.

"Baiti and I have married. She is my fa'qi*, the woman I will love, cherish and honour for the rest of my life. If anyone in this sect seeks to harm her in any way, they will have to go through me first!"

Lan Cenrong had stood in this very hall, holding the hands of his bride, a woman of immeasurable depth and lethality. Bichen clutched in one hand, she had no explanation to offer in response to the Elders' outrage. Her face was sculpted in stone, and her eyes as cold as ice. The only detail that gave her away was the fingers she laced tightly between her husband's, anchoring him to her side.

Why do you stay?

Once, Lan Zonghui had gone to confront her after the birth of Lan Xichen, supposedly premature but suspiciously well formed and strong.

Can't you see you've won?! No one in this sect would draw their sword against you now. You've murdered one of our own and yet there is nothing we can do in retaliation! Do you really hate Cenrong so much that you would continue to torture him with your existence?! You can leave, we can arrange for you to disappear. You can be free. Just leave Cloud Recesses and return us our peace!

Qiu Baiti was perhaps the most unflappable person he's ever come across.

Lan Zonghui, isn't it? Brave, coming here by yourself.

Rising from her seat, she sauntered slowly towards him. The fingers of her left hand flexed, each knuckle cracking threateningly. She was a beast, and jingshi was her self-chosen cage. Zonghui was not stupid enough to think it could contain her. Even with Bichen confiscated, Qiu Baiti was deadly and terrifying enough for him to take half a step back.

Leave Cloud Recesses you say? Why would I do that? My husband is here, my son is here. This is my home. You don't know me, and you don't know Cenrong half as well as you think. Now leave, you're in my house, and you're starting to irritate me.

After that, the only people who dared to visit her was Cangse Sanren and the small group of female disciples who took care of her living.

Truth be told, it was a relief for their sect when Qiu Baiti died young.

Lan Zonghui refuses to believe even to this day that the murderess felt anything close to genuine affection for the late sect master. Mercifully, her sons were raised mostly without her corruption, though Cenrong had all but ordered Qiren to take them to see her at least once a month. If only the boys knew what kind of a woman she really was. In their minds, she was a gentle, kind soul, but nothing could possibly be further from the truth. Sometimes it frightens the Elders to think that her blood flows in their veins.

On that front, Lan Zonghui must commend Lan Qiren. As uncle, guardian and deputy sect master before Xichen came of age, Lan Qiren had done all he can to curb the influence of the pair of wayward parents on Xichen and Wangji's young impressionable minds. Nonetheless, here they are, twenty years down the road, caught in an another predicament because of foolish sentiments.    

Wangji has their mother's eyes, Xichen their mother's smile, but both of them are without a doubt their father's sons.  

Lan Zonghui resists the urge pinch his nose bridge. He can feel a migraine coming on.

I really am too old for this.

Given his impropriety, Xichen is barred from attending today's conference. He's proven that his priority is no longer aligned with that of his elders or his clan. They already have to deal with Yu Ziyuan's temper today; they could not fend against one of their one throwing them under the carriage.

"Let's not mince words," Yu Ziyuan begins. "You've invited us here, surely you've given this matter some thought. We Jiangs are reasonable people. We are not here to deny anything or to cause trouble, but let me be understood: if your intention is to xiu'fu, I'm afraid we cannot accept that."

Yu Ziyuan is a smart woman. If she allows Gusu Lan to 'xiu' Wei Wuxian then it would be seen to the world as Yunmeng Jiang taking responsibility for this scandal and for Wei Wuxian's shameful behaviour.

One Lan Elder harrumphs.

"He's betrayed his marriage and shared carnal pleasures with another, is that not justification enough for divorce? Not to mention his husband is the Sect Master of Gusu Lan. With all due respect, Madam Yu, the scandal Wei Wuxian has brought to the Lan family is also unacceptable to us."

Indignant, a Jiang Elder counters heatedly, "Yes, you are in fact correct. To lie with another when one's spouse is present is against principles of any good man, but as the old saying goes, you cannot clap with one hand. Gusu's Lan-er-gongzi, Sect Master Lan's own little brother, is a willing and equal participant, is he not? So why then must Wei Wuxian bear the entirety of the blame?"

"Well, Wangji must've been seduced!"

"Does the esteemed Hanguang-jun lack so much sense, self-control, and respect for Zewu-jun that he could be so easily seduced by his own brother in law?! Perhaps he is not befitting his title after all?"

To that the Lan Elders have nothing further to say. They grumble amongst themselves but could not deny the point the Jiangs have raised.

Lan Zonghui glances towards Lan Qiren and sees him meet Yu Ziyuan's sharp gaze across the room. They both know very well that these arguments are pointless. Both families wish for the same thing: to save as much face as possible and to emerge from this storm with their dignity relatively in tact.

To say their predicament is difficult would be an understatement. If Gusu Lan succeeds in pushing for a divorce, then all of Yunmeng Jiang would be implicated by Wei Wuxian's disgrace. However, if Gusu Lan continues to retain Wei Wuxian as husband of their Sect Master, they would be ridiculed by the cultivation world, and Lan Xichen a cuckhold fool.

Somebody has to bear the blame, and the verdict needs to be dealt fairly without prejudice nor bias.

Lan Qiren turns his gaze to the tea leaves in his cup. Yu Ziyuan mirrors his action.

Lan Zonghui sighs. There is only one way out. They know it, and so does he.

After the grumbles of discontent settle down, Madam Yu speaks again, this time more diplomatically. "It is not our intention to put our noses where it doesn't belong, but the dissolution of this marriage cannot be solely on the accounts of Wei Wuxian's adultery since the other party involved is Gusu's own Hanguang-jun.

"Given that Wei Wuxian has married into Lan family, he is one of you. What you do with him, is up to his husband and the Elders. As long as he remains Zewu-jun's legal spouse, with his name recorded in your pedigrees and an honoured spot allotted for him in your catacombs, we Yunmeng Jiangs shall not interfere with your internal business.

"True, he was our disciple and raised at my side. As his maternal presence, I admit I was lacking, but perhaps the Lan Sect can also reflect on some of your own shortcomings. I trust, Lan-xiansheng," she addressed Lan Qiren directly, "that you and the Elders will give both of our families a satisfactory response."

Lan Zonghui shares a genuine look of surprise with Lan Qiren. Surely she is not implying…?

Of course, the Elders had discussed that particular solution amongst themselves, seeing that it is the best method to save both sides, but they did not think the Jiangs would actually agree to it, especially given how close Wei Wuxian is with the ruling family. Though… from Jiang Fengmian's absence perhaps that is already telltale sign. Not to mention if the rumours of Cangse Sanren and Sect Master Jiang are true, then Yu Ziyuan would have her own personal reasons for…

"I hope, Elders, that we understand each other." Madam Yu frowns, her patience wearing thin. "Our clans have enjoyed generations of friendship, and a bigger trial is waiting for us in Lanling. That is more important to the stability and safety of our people than any romantic sentiments."

The reminder of Lanling awakens all parties present from their narrow point of view. Jin Guangshan's secret gathering of Yin Iron is undeniable. The evidence stacks against him and his ousting is nigh. Even his own son and heir has turned against him. Lan Zonghui has no doubt that Jin Zixuan's change of heart has been largely thanks to the influence and persuasion of his wife, whose mother sits before them now. The women of Lotus Pier are not to be underestimated.  

"Madam Yu," Lan Qiren raises his cup of tea in a respectful toast. "We understand and thank you for your sensibility. If you are certain, then we have no objections."

Yu Ziyuan's resolve does not waver. "I am, so let us discuss the details."  

 [2/2 tbc]

Notes:

fa’qi 发妻 - fa = hair, qi = wife. this comes from the saying 结发为妻(夫), which means to bind our hair together as husband & wife. couples will cut a piece of their hair and tie it together with a red string and put it away as a symbol of their unity/marriage. 

#cql #the untamed #discau #discordance #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #corie fics

[izanyas]

and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow (7)

Whats it feel like to have energy

Rating: M Words: 6,400 Warnings: abuse.

[Read from prologue]

and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow Chapter 7

Wei Wuxian woke up at home.

He woke up peacefully, bit by bit, cold winter sun bathing his face out of some uncovered window. The smell of incense filled his nose and made his eyelashes brush open. Though awareness came to him of his own body's weakness, greater than he had experienced from any previous heat, he felt very little fear. It seemed to him that he had fallen asleep less lonely; that someone must have watched over him and kept him from harm.

He smelled something familiar. Tilled earth, damp forest grounds. The aftermath of a storm. "Uncle Jiang," he breathed with no voice at all.

There came the sound of soft steps on wooden floor, of fabric shuffling through the air. Jiang Fengmian sat by the edge of his bed and replied, "A-Xian, how do you feel?"

Wei Wuxian opened his eyes.

He was indeed home. He saw before even meeting his sect leader's eyes the old drawings he had hung from the wall when he was just a child—him and Jiang Cheng and his shijie, playing and holding hands, the three of them keeping an awkward-looking dog at bay with swords too big for their tiny hands. He smiled faintly.

"How…"

"Drink first," Jiang Fengmian said.

His hands were not hesitant when he helped Wei Wuxian sit. Wei Wuxian allowed the touch, still dazed, and took with shaking fingers the cup of hot tea that was offered to him. It soothed his throat and quieted his empty stomach. He wondered if Jiang Fengmian had waited long by his side, keeping the tea warm with bursts of spiritual energy.

"Why am I here?" he asked, setting the cup back on the cabinet by the bed.

He knew that Jiang Cheng must have found a way to free him from the cave and bring him back to the Lotus Pier. He just couldn't understand why he was here, in his bedroom, instead of waiting out the heat in the omega house. His body told him that there were still a few hours to go till he was completely free of fever.

Jiang Fengmian must have understood his meaning. "You were very ill," he answered. "I thought it best to have you recuperate here."

Wei Wuxian looked at his hands. The scrapes on his palms and fingers had scabbed and did not hurt at all, even if the burn on his chest ached distantly. "Won't Madam Yu be unhappy?" he asked at last.

Jiang Fengmian sighed. "Don't worry about this," he replied, pressing a wide hand over Wei Wuxian's shoulder. "She made an exception."

Wei Wuxian very much doubted it.

Jiang Fengmian called for food to be brought over. Wei Wuxian settled more comfortably against his pillows, fists clenching weakly in the sheets, bothered by his own lack of strength. His mind felt as muddled now as it had upon waking up. He felt that he was forgetting something—something very important.

It came back to him as a maid came into the room, her face red with disgust at Wei Wuxian's state, holding a steaming bowl of soup over a platter. White cloth marred with blood and dirt, bleeding hands strumming bowstrings into music, the scent of sandalwood over the stench of death. A soft voice singing to him.

Wei Wuxian suddenly lunged from his bed and said in a panic, "Lan Zhan!"

The maid yelped in surprise. Jiang Fengmian caught Wei Wuxian as he struggled out of the sheets, pushing him back and quickly ordering the woman to leave. "A-Xian, calm down—"

"Uncle, Lan Zhan was hurt—is he okay? Is he here?" And then, with more horror: "What about shijie's arm?"

He hissed in pain as the wound on his chest flared with movement, cutting off his air. Jiang Fengmian lowered him back onto the sheets as he struggled to breathe, saying, "They're fine. A-Li's arm is on the mend, and young master Lan was brought back to the Cloud Recesses by A-Cheng. They're both fine, A-Xian."

Wei Wuxian took in a deep inhale. His fingers clutched the fabric of his clothes over his now-bandaged wound. "He didn't even want me to help with his injuries," he muttered. Then he laughed, "He killed that monster all by himself! The Jade of Lan truly deserves his title."

"That is odd," Jiang Fengmian replied. "Lan Wangji told A-Cheng that you were the one who killed it."

"What? Of course I didn't." Seeing Jiang Fengmian's disbelief on his face, Wei Wuxian insisted, "I'm not lying. I only lured the beast into a trap, but Lan Zhan was the one who fought it for hours until it died. I barely did anything."

"It was a joint effort, then. You should not give him full credit."

Wei Wuxian waved a hand dismissively. "You weren't there, uncle. If you were, you'd think differently."

"Of course," Jiang Fengmian said placatingly. "Now eat. Your body is very weak."

The broth was mostly flavorless so as not to upset Wei Wuxian's stomach, but it was warm. It was more food than he had eaten in over a week. He had to pace himself, to force himself not to swallow all of it, while by his side Jiang Fengmian cut fruit into slices. The man's expression had grown thoughtful.

"A-Xian," he asked once Wei Wuxian had emptied the bowl. "What do you think of Lan Wangji?"

Wei Wuxian remembered suddenly in what circumstances Jiang Cheng must have found them. He pushed away from the backing of his pillows and said, "Uncle, it wasn't his fault. If I'd kept taking the tea Madam Yu gave me—"

"Tea?" Jiang Fengmian cut in, frowning.

Wei Wuxian hesitated.

He had thought that Yu Ziyuan must not have told her husband of the moonless tea. She had given it to him in something like secrecy, accepting to touch him even, just so that she could make sure no one could see what it was she was giving him before he left. He could not lie to Jiang Fengmian, however.

"Madam Yu gave me a tea for stopping heats before we left," he explained, chest tight. "I kept it with me always. But the water in that cave was poisoned, so I couldn't take it. I tried to chew on it, but it didn't work." He raised his head and added, "Lan Zhan did nothing wrong. I know the circumstances were completely improper, but if you must blame someone, please blame me. He had nowhere to go either."

Jiang Fengmian looked at him for a long moment without speaking.

"I don't believe Lan Wangji took advantage of the situation," he said at last. Wei Wuxian's shoulders relaxed all at once, the burn over his chest almost a relief in contrast. "He swore he would not tell anyone, and I believe him. But that is not what I asked."

It was Wei Wuxian's turn to be confused.

Jiang Fengmian gave a brief smile. "What do you think of him?" he asked again. "You spent almost a week in that cave with him. How is your relationship with him?"

"I don't think we have much of a relationship," Wei Wuxian replied. "He disliked me when we met in Gusu years ago. I suppose his feelings didn't change with what I put him through."

Jiang Fengmian spent another moment in silence, his fingers rubbing the length of what looked like a jade hairpin. It seemed to have broken in half. "I want you to have a good life, A-Xian," he said then. "Perhaps I could have done more for you over the years. Perhaps I made some mistakes, but I can't regret them, even knowing how much they cost you."

"Uncle," Wei Wuxian started.

A raised hand silenced him. "That mess with Jin Zixun made me realize that I might have robbed you of more than I thought in my selfishness," Jiang Fengmian said.

"No," Wei Wuxian replied. "No, you didn't. I didn't want to marry him—I don't want to marry anyone."

"But what if you change your mind?"

I won't, Wei Wuxian thought.

He had spent too many nights haunted by the thought. He had spent too many days in the Wen omega house, watching Wen Linfeng crush herself down under the expectations put upon her, watching Wen Yiqian and Wen Yueying cling desperately to childhood. He had watched Jin Zixun look through him rather than at him; he still remembered, with a frisson of fear, Wen Chao creeping close to him and saying, I wonder how sweet you smell during heat.

"A-Xian," Jiang Fengmian said, and Wei Wuxian snapped out of his thoughts. His throat was dry. "For as long as I live, I promise you will never be forced to marry."

Wei Wuxian nodded silently. His chest was too clogged with relief to allow him to speak.

"But I am your clan leader. You are my..." Jiang Fengmian hesitated, looking over his shoulder quickly. "I care about you," he said. "I care about your happiness. It could be safer for you to marry someone willing to understand you, even without love, than to risk the alternative."

"I've not met anyone like this," Wei Wuxian laughed, joyless.

"What about Lan Wangji?"

Wei Wuxian was so surprised that for a long while, he could not answer. "Lan Wangji is very rule-abiding," he said at last. "He could never stand to marry someone like me, especially… especially not now."

Speaking of Lan Wangji in such terms felt so wrong. Blood rushed to Wei Wuxian's face like it almost never did—he had never thought of anyone, and especially not Lan Wangji, in that light. No matter how beautiful and talented the Lan heir was.

Lan Wangji hated to even touch him. How could he possibly marry Wei Wuxian? They had barely spoken in that cave. Wei Wuxian had no doubt insulted him more than ever before by falling into heat in front of him, worse than when he had watched him bathe all those years ago. He would be lucky if Lan Wangji ever accepted to be in his presence again.

The thought saddened him.

"Never mind, then," Jiang Fengmian said. Wei Wuxian had almost forgotten what it was that the man had asked. He blushed more as he remembered. His hands itched for the handle of his sword or the tense string of a bow, any way to externalize the odd energy now running through him. "I did not intend to make you anxious. Forgive me."

He rose from his chair; Wei Wuxian immediately bowed as properly as he could while still sat upon the bed. Jiang Fengmian patted his shoulder once, and Wei Wuxian accepted it with guilt weighing down on him.

"I'll leave you alone now," Jiang Fengmian declared. "A-Cheng and A-Li will surely visit you as soon as your fever is gone."

"That's good," Wei Wuxian replied emptily.

He didn't dare ask why Jiang Fengmian had visited him before that.

Soon enough he was alone in the bedroom. At this stage of heat all that remained was the eponymous fever and some soreness in his back. Wei Wuxian lay still over his bed, trying his best not to toss and turn, else his chest wound burned fiercely. He touched it often, tracing the swelling under the bandages with the tip of his finger. He had yet to actually look at it.

Why bother; he knew what he would find. Seeing Qishanwen's sun branded onto his skin would only worsen his mood.

The rest of the day abated like this. Slow and uneventful. Sometimes Wei Wuxian heard noises from outside his door, no doubt servants going from one place to the next, or cries from the window of an apprentice or two training by the water. He wished he could join them. He wished he had his sword; the thought of Suibian in Wen Chao's clutch, so far away in Qishan, made him queasy.

He thought of the three Wen omega he had left there.

He thought of Lan Wangji's ashen face as he realized that Wei Wuxian was in heat.

He closed his eyes and willed his shame away.

Wei Wuxian spent one more day confined to his room before deciding that he had enough of lying around and doing nothing. He left for the training grounds despite Jiang Yanli's urging—and it was hard to look at her as well, to know that the arm she kept cradled to her chest was broken because of him—and shot with bow and arrow till his numb fingers stopped aching. He bruised his knuckles, splitting target after target, Jiang Cheng silent by his side. They spoke very little.

There were swords aplenty at the Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian took a spare one out of storage and trained as fiercely with it as he could. It felt off, different, lacking compared to Suibian. It held no spirit. It couldn't make him fly. No need to ask Jiang Cheng what he thought of his, either; each sparring session had him looking at the sword in his hands in frustration. No doubt he wished for Sandu as much as Wei Wuxian did Suibian.

Day after day, Wei Wuxian sat at the edge of the Pier and looked into the horizon. Though sunlight was more frequent now, the weather was still cold. Jiang Yanli often sat by him in worry, but he had not the heart to tell her what it was he was waiting for.

He just couldn't chase off the apprehension that kept him awake at night.

It became obvious within a few days that Jiang Cheng was holding thoughts to himself as well. He acted as normally as possible in his sister's presence, but whenever he found himself alone with Wei Wuxian, he became morose. His words came sparsely. He sparred in silence, frowning, avoiding Wei Wuxian's eyes.

It would take heartbreak and argument to make him open up—What about me? What about sister? We trekked for days without food and water, but did father acknowledge us?

Jealousy and guilt all mixed into the ugliest of fears, the antonym of sympathy. Wei Wuxian had known for a long time how much Jiang Cheng envied him, how ashamed he was of envying him. He had always tried his best to uplift the one he considered a brother; he had always tried not to overstep his freedom in this.

He still wanted to reply to him: Do you envy this?

He still wanted to show him the lonely little shack, the tea he drank every morning, the memory of three children trapped in a silk prison. Soft clothes on his body as he was sold to a man he had never met before. Nightmares of nameless hands touching him as he tried to run away. Alpha-scent choking him, freezing him more thoroughly than snow and iced mud did—I wonder how sweet you smell during heat.

Do you envy this, Jiang Cheng?

"One day you'll be sect leader, and I'll follow you," Wei Wuxian told Jiang Cheng, one hand over his shoulder and the other clenched by his side. "Just like my father and yours. And if anyone says you're not fit to be heir, I'll beat them up!"

Jiang Cheng's smile in that moment was such a fragile thing. Wei Wuxian had glimpsed in that cave the man he would become; he saw now the child he had always been, the one who chased Wei Wuxian around and basked in his attention, the one who felt such pride at keeping dogs away, at scowling at those who stared and whispered.

"Gusulan has its Jade; well, Yunmengjiang has its hero."

Not even Jiang Cheng could afford to envy an omega. Wei Wuxian could not allow him to. No matter how he felt about it.

Jiang Cheng started speaking to him again. Jiang Yanli's worry abated. They laughed in those suspended days of peace despite the ache of what had happened and the fear of what was to come; they trained, fooled around, rested. They warmed themselves in sunlight. They waited for the other shoe to drop.

Yu Ziyuan lived in a pavilion at the far end of the Lotus Pier. It stood so close to shore that oftentimes water would spill against the walls and wash away their paint. She never ordered them to be fixed; she seemed to like the sight of red bleeding into pink and then bright, pure white. Hers was a place Wei Wuxian had always avoided as he grew. There was no way to know beforehand if she would simply ignore him or take time out of her day to insult him when their paths crossed.

He could not avoid it now.

He hesitated in front of the doors for a long time. The wooden path linking her home to the rest of the manor was empty. He knew that at this hour, she must be meditating. Although it may not be the ideal time to interrupt her, it was better to do it then, away from servants' eyes, than in full sight. At least if she grew angry, he would be the only one to know.

His arm felt very heavy when he raised it to knock on the door. He snatched it back almost immediately, almost afraid to feel wood burn at his contact, so strong was Madam Yu's dislike of him. The wood did not burn. A moment later a maid opened the doors and allowed him inside.

It was Wei Wuxian's first time entering Yu Ziyuan's quarters. The maid did not offer him a seat in the parlor where she left him, and he did not take one. He didn't think he would be able to sit still anyway. Instead he looked at the ink paintings decorating the walls and the ancestral weapons laid onto dark cushions.

One sword caught his attention more than the rest. He approached it without much thought, feeling for it the way he used to feel for Suibian—the way he failed to feel for the sword he was using now. To his surprise, the sword called back to him. Wei Wuxian blinked as he examined it. It was a rough thing, ugly compared with the fine blades and bows around it. Its wooden pommel bore neither gold nor silver, no gemstones or fine carvings.

Its sharp blade gleamed softly. A bird-like shape had been chipped where wood met metal. Wei Wuxian extended a hand forward with the vague intent to trace it with his fingers.

"What are you doing here?"

He took his hand back. Yu Ziyuan stood in the frame of a door that must lead to her chambers, the same maid as before following behind her.

Wei Wuxian bowed to her. "Madam Yu," he said, "I apologize for taking time out of your day. I have something I need to ask you."

She did not answer. When Wei Wuxian straightened up, he saw that she was looking at the sword he had almost touched.

She murmured, "Leave us," to the maid before making her way toward the wide couch at the other side of the room. Once more Wei Wuxian was left standing, but it was nothing he hadn't expected. "Speak, then," Madam Yu said, and Wei Wuxian put a hand inside his belt.

He took out of it the pouch she had given him before he left for the Nightless City. At the sight of it, Madam Yu's face grew somber.

"Don't just show this around carelessly," she snapped at him.

"So you do know what it is," Wei Wuxian replied.

"Of course I know what it is. Would I have given it to you otherwise? Foolish child."

He hid the pouch again. All the words he had come here prepared to say refused to come out of his mouth; he stared his clan leader instead, hoping without reason that she would give him anything to go on.

She said nothing, of course. Wei Wuxian had to force open his own mouth and declare, "There's no more left."

He had drunk the tea diligently since coming back, but a small bag's worth was only so much. There hadn't been much of it left after Qishan anyway.

Madam Yu huffed uncaringly. "What do you suppose I should do about it, Wei Ying?"

"You were the one who gave it to me. Can't you…" He hesitated. "Can't you give me more?"

"You're here now. Why should you have more?"

Wei Wuxian ground his teeth together.

There was no way for him to make her understand, he knew. Even if Yu Ziyuan had not lacked empathy wherever he was concerned, it would be hard to make her understand. Wei Wuxian did not think even Jiang Yanli would.

"My fevers are incapacitating," he told her, forcing himself not to look down. "I would prefer to continue avoiding them."

"You are mistaken if you think I gave this tea to you out of concern," Madam Yu replied. "The Jiang sect simply can't afford to have its only omega getting knocked up unmarried."

Nausea settled at Wei Wuxian's throat.

Madam Yu knocked twice onto the wooden arm of the couch. The maid came back with a pot of tea in hand and busied herself by pouring it for her, before getting dismissed once more.

"Why are you still here?" Madam Yu asked, bringing the tea to her lips.

Wei Wuxian licked his lips. They were dry. "Why do you think I would end up…" he couldn't finish.

She laughed coldly. "Who knows what you get up to when no one's watching?" She took a sip of tea, unflinching, her eyes piercing through Wei Wuxian with the strength of a loose arrow. "It's what your mother did, after all."

She put such disgust, such hatred into the words, that Wei Wuxian felt the hair of his arms rise. Your mother.

"You won't get more moonless tea unless circumstances call for it," Madam Yu went on. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to obtain? How humiliating it is? You should be thanking me on your knees, boy."

"I won't," Wei Wuxian replied.

Yu Ziyuan's teacup tapped loudly against the tabletop. Liquid spilled over the rim and wetted her fingers.

"Wei Ying," she hissed, finally showing the anger he had grown used to bringing out of her.

Wei Wuxian refused to cower this time. "Why do you hate my mother so much?" he asked.

"Did Jiang Fengmian put you up to this?"

"He did not," Wei Wuxian answered hotly. "He would never, because he has too much respect for you."

Madam Yu rose to her feet. She was tall, so much taller than him, the very image of alphakind; strong and beautiful and absolutely deadly. She must have grown up praised by her family, nurtured for greatness, pushed forth toward glory.

Wei Wuxian had never known such bitter jealousy.

"You have no idea what you speak of," she seethed. "Get lost!"

"Of course I don't have any idea—how could I?" Wei Wuxian scoffed. "You've made it so I could never know. Well, I'm asking now."

"I should've killed you when you were a child," Yu Ziyuan said.

A few years ago, such words would have frozen him to the bone. If he had not experienced how cold she could be toward him, how cruelly she took to his status and existence, he would have stood breathless. Now all he felt was hollow.

Madam Yu was not done speaking. "I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that you would end up as rotten as her," she said. "Blood doesn't lie, Wei Ying, and you have in you the worst blood that this age has known."

"Did you even know her," he replied emptily.

His mother, whose memory was but a faded dream, a hint of applescent and laughter. His mother whose name was enough to make Jiang Fengmian look grieved; his mother who could make Yu Ziyuan exude such hatred.

Where was the truth?

Madam Yu laughed so loudly that she bent forward with it. "Did I know her?" she repeated at him. Wei Wuxian saw with great shock her look turn to something like despair. "Which clan do you think Cangse Sanren fled from!?"

"What?"

She was shaking with anger now. "I was there when she was born," she said in that same haunted voice. "I was the one who found her the first time she fled from the Yu omega house—she was so small I could lift her up with one arm. She kept laughing. She thought I was playing with her."

Wei Wuxian could not speak at all anymore. He watched with wide eyes as Yu Ziyuan covered her face with her hand; he saw her long nails dig into her temples and leave red marks in their wake.

"It was on my watch that she escaped for real," she said. "For years until she came back, I was blamed for her death. I was estranged from my own clan. Just because a stupid little omega couldn't understand the meaning of duty.

"And then she was back!" Madam Yu's voice grew louder and angrier, her face red from the strength of her memories. "She came down from that mountain acting like the world belonged to her—and of course, I was charged with putting her back on the right path." She sucked in a deep breath. "I was the one who let her escape, so I was the one who had to reign her back in! I had to follow her around, I had to watch over her every move, I had to convince her to go back to seclusion. But who could compare to Cangse Sanren? It didn't matter how ugly she was, oh no," she laughed. "She was brilliant. She was the greatest cultivator of her time. Every alpha forgot their manners around her and begged their sect leaders for the authorization to marry her, even—even—"

She needn't finish that sentence.

"That ungrateful little bitch never appreciated anything she was given," Madam Yu spat. "It's only right that she died the way she did. She took everything out of everyone, made everyone love her, and never gave anything back. The world is well rid of her."

She sat back down with trembling hands. Wei Wuxian could only watch as she rubbed her face again and made a mess out of her makeup. She seemed not to notice at all.

He felt very far from the moment. In his mind he recalled the mourning so stark on Jiang Fengmian's face whenever the man praised him, whenever he made him a promise. For so long he had wondered why such a proper man had raised him so improperly. For so long he had wondered how Yu Ziyuan could allow it, no matter how much she raged and spat, no matter how close to a beast the matter of Cangse Sanren made her look.

"Did you learn about the tea from her?" he asked softly.

The look Yu Ziyuan gave him in answer was ripe with resentment. "How else would I know?" she snapped at him.

Wei Wuxian nodded. He bowed again, though she wasn't looking at him, and made his way toward the door. His eyes once more caught the gleam of the oddly rustic sword she had added to her renowned collection.

There was only one person at the Pier who shared the same love for weapons that Madam Yu did. Wei Wuxian went to find Jiang Yanli that night.

"A sword with a bird engraved below the handle?" she asked as she prepared tea for the both of them. Her arm was almost fully healed now. "Where did you see it?"

Wei Wuxian accepted the tea with a nod of thanks. "I just heard someone talking about it and got curious," he lied.

Jiang Yanli hummed in thought. "Mother has one of those, I believe. They're very rare. She told me that only the sage in the mountains makes them and that no one but their owner can ever unsheathe them."

The teacup burned against Wei Wuxian's fingers. "Baoshan Sanren?" he asked weakly.

His shijie nodded. "Your mother probably had one too. How lucky."

Wei Wuxian remembered the day Yu Ziyuan had lost her father.

The news had come to them from the Yu sect a few days after the fact. It hadn't come with fanfare, for the man had been omega. Wei Wuxian knew through Jiang Cheng's knowledge that Yu Ziyuan was not always the Yu heir. That she had an elder alpha sister once who had died before her time—the daughter of her sect leader father and his cultivation partner. The direct heir, as opposed to her, who was born of an omega spouse.

It was sickness, he thought, that had taken her omega father away. Wei Wuxian had still been very young then; still very new to the Jiang clan. He still woke at night in a cold sweat, thinking he had heard dogs in the distance. But he remembered that messenger who had come on horseback and delivered the news to Madam Yu. He remembered how angry she had been at the servants that night. She had even scolded Yu Jinzhu.

She hadn't shed a single tear. He remembered being more terrified of her then than ever before.

Always, anger was the weapon which Yu Ziyuan held most avidly. Always she directed it toward those around her as if the smallest inconvenience was her being scorned by the gods; as if she suffered a great injustice every day that she lived.

She made everyone love her and never gave anything back.

Perhaps hatred wasn't the only reason Yu Ziyuan had kept that sword with her for so long.

The other shoe dropped.

The cry came as the day died: "The Wen clan took sixth shidi!"

It was only days after Wei Wuxian had been denied more of the tea by Yu Ziyuan. Madam Yu had been angrier than usual since then, never missing an opportunity to berate her husband and children. Earlier he and Jiang Cheng had seen Jiang Fengmian stalk away to the docks without a word while his wife screamed at him from behind, and Jiang Cheng had asked, "What happened this time?"

His voice bore such fatigue that Wei Wuxian had immediately dragged him away to hunt. He had found his smile again, then, happy to race him for the fattest birds they could find.

Now Wei Wuxian's second shidi was running at them, desperate and out of breath, tears spilling out of his eyes. He told them that a man and woman wearing the Wen sect uniform had come and beat up their youngest disciple. He said that the woman was waiting now to meet Yu Ziyuan.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng dropped their catches and ran toward the main house.

They found Jiang Yanli on their way; there were tear tracks on her face and blood on her fingers. They all came in to face their enemy.

"I've come here to ask for punishment on behalf of my master," Wang Lingjiao said gleefully.

She smelled, as always, like rot.

In the end there was not much that Wei Wuxian could do. He withstood for the first time in his life the burn of Zidian on his back, once, twice, as many times as it took for his skin to break apart and bleed. Through the ringing in his ears he heard the sound of Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli's pleas; through the shaking in his hands he felt the cold, hard ground, the heartbreak of a promise he had once made to himself and not managed to keep.

Yu Ziyuan's face looked wild in the early hours of night.

"Madam Yu," Wang Lingjiao laughed, delighted, "I didn't think you had it in you. You whipped an omega!"

She came closer, her footsteps so loud in the silence that they seemed to echo through Wei Wuxian's head. With one long-fingered hand, she grabbed him by the hair.

"You brought this on yourself," she murmured to him. "Don't think my master is done with you." Then, louder: "So very obedient, Madam Yu! I can see that we shan't have any problems building a supervisory office in Yunmeng."

Wei Wuxian was too dazed by that time to truly follow along what happened. He heard Wang Lingjiao's screams of terror. He saw Wen Zhuliu's glowing hand face off against Zidian. He cried out when someone grabbed him under the arms and pulled him away, making the wounds on his back burn deeply.

His nose picked up the sharp scent of Jiang Cheng, "Come, we need to build the barrier—"

"I'll take care of it," Jiang Yanli said from Wei Wuxian's other side. "You two get some help."

"Father took most of the clan with him earlier! We need to warn him!"

A sword was put into Wei Wuxian's hands. It had never felt as foreign as it did now in the face of such danger. All around them, Wen cultivators emerged, bows at the ready and swords unsheathed. Wei Wuxian tightened his grip on the borrowed sword and wished with all of his power that Suibian was here.

There was nowhere they could go. No one they could call. Wen Zhuliu killed the cultivators who brought up the shield and tried, again and again, to take away Madam Yu's core. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng fought as close to her as they could against the endless numbers facing them. The borrowed sword's blade was slick with blood and guts, the air heavy with the smell of it, as heavy as a storm. It seemed to Wei Wuxian that Zidian was just another lightning bolt against the darkening sky.

So many dead bodies littered the ground around them now. Wei Wuxian forgot to voice the pain in his back, though it worsened when the rain started. He slid against the wet ground as he cut again and again into the bellies of his foes, watching from the corner of his eyes as Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli did the same, as Yu Ziyuan kept the Core-Melting Hand at bay.

Madam Yu slipped. Blood splattered against her open eyes and blinded her for a second. Jiang Yanli howled at the approaching Wen Zhuliu and managed to chase him off, and in the moment that followed, Yu Ziyuan had grabbed both of her children and leaped onto the nearest roof.

"Come!" she roared at Wei Wuxian.

She brought them all to the farthest of all the docks. From there the sounds of battle were faint, almost identical to the rumbling thunder overhead. Wei Wuxian's back had become numb to pain thanks to the beating rain. His heart, however, stung.

"You both need to go," Yu Ziyuan told her children, hugging them firmly.

From behind her, Wei Wuxian saw that her back was shaking.

"Mother?" Jiang Cheng asked, achingly soft.

"You leave right now, and don't come back. A-Li—"

"Mother," Jiang Cheng cut in, "we can't leave you here, let's just wait here for father, he—"

"Listen to me!" Yu Ziyuan shouted.

The sky cracked open; for a second, everything was washed to white.

Madam Yu was holding something in her hand. It wasn't until she slipped it on Jiang Yanli's finger that Wei Wuxian recognized Zidian. "You take care of your brother, A-Li," she said.

"Mother," Yanli cried.

Madam Yu rubbed her daughter's tears away. They were immediately replaced with rain. "My girl," she said, kinder than ever before. "You go now."

She snapped her fingers. Long glowing ropes shot out of the ring around Jiang Yanli's finger and trapped all three of them; Madam Yu pushed both of her children into the nearest boat and turned to face Wei Wuxian.

He was tied with Zidian's power too, but he felt no pain from it.

"Wei Ying," Madam Yu said, grabbing him by the collar. Wei Wuxian had no breath left in him at all. "You will defend my children with your life."

"Madam Yu," he tried.

She shook him harshly. "No, you listen to me," she hissed. "You protect them, understood? Don't give me any nonsense now—I'm asking you. Will you protect them?"

"I—"

He saw the fear in her eyes, the blood still clinging to her face. He saw the two people he cared the most about trapped in a boat and yelling at him, at her, to let them go. To let them fight.

"I will," he replied, heartache bringing tears to his eyes. "I promise."

She threw him into the boat as well.

"Mother!" Jiang Cheng cried. "Mother, come with us, let's all wait until father gets back!"

"So what if he doesn't come back?" Yu Ziyuan asked.

She unsheathed her sword slowly. She wasn't shaking anymore.

"Can't I survive without him?"

Their farewells to Jiang Fengmian were not any less hurried.

Wei Wuxian said nothing at all. He knew, deep inside himself, how things would turn out. He made no move to board the boat that his sect leader was on; he listened to the panicked words that the man's children cried to him and met his eyes almost levelly.

It felt almost as though Jiang Fengmian wanted Wei Wuxian to confirm the truth to him. Almost as if he were waiting for everything to be a joke, as if he were ready to believe it, as long as Wei Wuxian said so.

Don't go, Wei Wuxian wanted to say.

What right did he have to beg?

Jiang Fengmian pushed his children back into the small boat. He murmured a word, and Zidian once more snapped in place around the three of them. Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli shouted. Wei Wuxian tried to breathe.

Don't go.

He saw apology in Jiang Fengmian's eyes; he felt it in the hand that the man put over Jiang Cheng's shoulder, in the words that he said to them all—"Be good."

So did Wei Wuxian let go of his strongest protector. So did he say farewell to the man who had loved and raised him and granted him freedom. He watched Jiang Fengmian's wide back disappear toward the burning Pier without a single word. The darkness of the storm was almost enough to engulf the glow of the man's sword.

In such a weather, his scent was all but gone.

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#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #fic: and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow