#~C: Lizzie Liddell

[thevalicemultiverse]

So have you guys ever thought about adding hot sauce to food instead of letting it rot?

Bonejangles: You mean like that Tabasco stuff they got in the States? Not enough of it around here to use. Maybe they do that in other parts of the Land of the Dead.

Lizzie: Rotting's most convenient for us. . .though now I'm curious as to what would happen if we could get our hands on a bottle. . .

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #~V: Forgotten Vows #~T: We Are The Village Green Preservation Society #hot sauce vs rot #~C: Lizzie Liddell #~C: Bonejangles #((took me a minute to realize you probably meant Land of the Dead cuisine #so here's the Lizzie and Bonejangles of that world to answer your question! #yeah I don't know what hot sauces were available in England at that time #but it feels safe to say there was none in Burtonsville!)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue

[theriddlemaster]

Tag Dump {Relationships}

 .

#♖: A Sharp-Witted Shadow {Whisp Grant} #♖: Tea Time Anytime {Maddie Hatter} #♖: Mischievous Kitty {Kitty Cheshire} #♖: Queen Lizard {Lizzie Hearts} #♖: BBFFA {Bunny Blanc} #♖: The Charming Idiot {Daring Charming} #♖: The Parroting Pirate {James R. Hook} #♖: Over-Protective She-Wolf {Bellona Badwolf} #♖: Alliterative Arsehole {James R. Hook} #♖: No Manner of Man {Darling Charming} #♖: In A Cloak of Mystery {Cerise Hood} #♖: The Wild Card of the Deck {Courtly Jester} #♖: Unlike a Writing Desk {Raven Queen} #♖: The Knight of Roses {Alissa C. Wonderland} #♖: The Knight of Roses {Alissa C. Liddell} #♖: The Lovely Pan {Penelope Pan} #♖: Wonderlandiful Mates {Friends} #♖: Tales of a New Generation {Classmates} #♖: Unsolvable Riddles {Enemies/Rivals} #♖: The Family Liddell {Family}

[victorluvsalice]

Happy Birthday, Squid!

@gaydragonwizards -- Hey, we’ve known each other for a while now, it’s about time I did one of these for you. :) And, since you’re one of the biggest fans of the Lovecraft Jazz AU, here’s a snippet from it! Specifically, the part where everybody ends up at the local hotel at the same time. We come in just as the Van Dorts and the Everglots walk in and spot each other. . .

There was about five solid seconds of stunned silence. Then, in almost perfect chorus: "What are you doing here?!"

Lady Everglot scowled, drawing herself up to her full, impressive height (made even more so by her massive tower of hair -- Victor would never understand what magic she used to keep both it and herself upright). "We asked first," she snapped, as her husband glowered at all and sundry. "And we are the highest-ranking people present."

"Well, we're here on business," Father said, tapping his cane against the floor. "Hoping to expand the cannery, don'tcha know!"

"Yes," Mother simpered, a nasty gleam in her eyes. "My brilliant businessman of a husband is looking to make us even richer." She snapped open her fan. "So what brings you to the shores of America, ladyship? Visiting one of your many estates?"

"If you do have a house over here, maybe we could use it for the wedding!" Father added brightly. "I mean, we're all here, we know it's going to happen -- what's the point in delaying?"

"We're not here because of our -- possible matrimonial situation," Lady Everglot said, her lip curling. "We've come to visit family in Innsmouth. A cousin of Finis's."

"To discuss financial matters," Lord Everglot added, glaring sharply at Father.

"Oh? Has your cousin fallen on hard times as well?" Father said innocently. "If he's in the fish business too, I'd be happy to lend a hand." He grinned. "After all, there's no denying this place could use the work! Have you seen the rest of the town? Looks about ready to fall down around our ears!"

Yes, Father, that's going to endear you to the locals, Victor thought, glancing apologetically at the innkeeper frowning at them from behind his desk. Why does he never think before he speaks? Well, at least now I have one friendly face around. He gave Victoria a little wave from behind Mother -- she returned it. I wonder if we'll be allowed to actually say more than two words to each other if Mother arranges another "date." I like her well enough already, but it would be nice to have a proper conversation without being interrupted. Particularly if we're still supposed to get married. He sighed softly. Only in Burtonsville would the arranged marriage not gone the way of the dodo. I know they can't actually force us, but -- ugh, the scandal that would result if she or I refused! The door creaked open again -- he glanced over idly. We'd end up pariahs on par with poor -- "Emily?!"

Emily Cartwell started backward, nearly stumbling right into her companion. "Victor?"

"What? Emily?" Mother turned toward the door, then gasped, snapping her fan shut dramatically. "Miss Cartwell! You're here too?"

"Ah -- yes," Emily said, glancing back at the man behind her. Victor recognized him as Sam Thatcher -- that's right, they had gone off together in the wake of the Barkis Incident. "We're -- we're on tour. What are you--"

"On tour?" Lady Everglot huffed. She exchanged a dark look with her husband. "So it's true -- you ran off with this man not even to marry him, but to make a spectacle of yourself in the theater?"

"Well, running off to marry someone didn't go so well, milady," Emily retorted, folding her arms. "And I'm not an actress -- I'm a dancer."

Lady Everglot put her nose in the air. "Yes, that makes such a difference. Young people these days, Finis. . ."

"So glad we didn't end up trying her family," Mother stage-whispered to Father behind her fan. "Girl has no sense of propriety. Do you see her dress? Her knees are just -- out there! For everyone to stare at!"

Victor winced, and saw Victoria do the same. What was with their parents and their lack of shame? "I'm glad to see you're all right, Miss Cartwell," he said, getting a smile in return. He straightened and offered a salute to her companion. "And you as well, Mr. Thatcher."

Mr. Thatcher blinked, then grinned lopsidedly. "Aw, don't bother with all that. I did my duty -- haven't put the old uniform on in ages."

"Still, we do appreciate your service," Victoria said, ignoring the frown she got from her mother for daring to speak.

"Yeah, one of our old boys back from the trenches should have a proper job," Father agreed brightly. "Are you going to be here for a while? Once I talk to the dockmen and get my latest venture open, I can get you a position easily!"

"Uh -- thanks but no thanks," Mr. Thatcher replied, holding up a hand. "Music's been in my blood -- even back in the trenches me and some friends were plannin' on starting up our own band." For a moment, his eyes grew haunted as he rubbed his leg -- then he managed to shake it off. "I'm happy with what me and Ems are doing, honest."

Father seemed rather confused by this confession. Fortunately, though, before he could open his mouth and dig himself an even deeper hole, the door creaked open again. Victor's head swiveled toward it, as did everyone else's, to see --

Two complete strangers. They stared back at the sea of faces curiously. "Hmm -- seems we're expected, Lizzie," the young lady in front said, glancing up at what could only be her sister. She looked at each of them in turn. "Are you the Innsmouth welcoming committee, then?"

"Ah -- n-no," Victor got out. Goodness, he'd never seen eyes like hers before. Such a bright, sharp green -- they seemed to reach straight into his very soul, holding him fascinated. The rest of her was pretty too -- long dark hair worn loose around her shoulders, a strong pink mouth, a slim figure clad in blue. More than that, though, was the power she seemed to radiate. One got the feeling this was not someone you wanted to upset.

"We were just sort of expecting someone else from our hometown to show up," Emily explained, shaking her head. "We're all from the same village back in England, you see, and we all arrived here in the past five minutes, it looks like."

"Ah. Well, I am from England, but I haven't the slightest where your village is. Sorry to disappoint." The woman noticed Victor staring and hit him with a frown. "Are you that shocked to see a stranger in a strange land?"

"You've got beautiful eyes."

Victor's brain only caught up with the words once they'd already left his lips. He started at his own boldness, grabbing his tie for support. "I-I mean -- I-I'm not used to -- not that you d-don't have lovely eyes too, M-Miss Everglot, or you either, Miss C-Cartwell -- just that yours, miss, are so g-green and I -- ah--" He slapped a hand over his mouth before he could further embarrass himself. "Sorry."

Mother sighed heavily, leaning on Father with a mutter of "Utterly hopeless, isn't he?" while Lady Everglot tched and murmured to her husband, "Typical of the middle class." The sister -- Lizzie -- also seemed unimpressed, glaring at him as if he'd blurted out something intensely crude. Victoria, by contrast, shook her head fondly, while Emily hid a giggle and Mr. Thatcher grinned. And the young lady -- well, said beautiful eyes widened in surprise for a moment. Then she smirked. "You must not be used to green eyes if that's how you react to them," she said. "But I suppose I should thank you for the compliment." She curtsied. "Alice Liddell, sir. You are?"

"Victor," Victor said, lowering his hand. Well, at least he hadn't made a total fool of himself. "Victor Van Dort."

"Wait -- Liddell?" Mr. Thatcher said, tipping his head to one side. "The girls from that fire? In Oxford?"

"That's the one," Lizzie replied shortly. "And given that I have it on good authority that the man who set said fire might be here in town, could you all give us leave to check in first so we can get down to the police station?"

"Oh -- yeah, go right ahead," Mr. Thatcher said, waving them onward.

"We can wait," Father agreed, stepping back.

Lord Everglot merely grunted, which the Liddell sisters took as assent. Victor watched as they approached the front desk. Oh my. . .so -- my parents, my forced fiancee, her parents, the woman at the heart of Burtonsville's greatest scandal in ages, her rescuer and one of Burtonsville's lesser-known soldiers, and the two sisters in the middle of the most shocking case of arson in all of England. One of whom now knows I think she has beautiful eyes.

This is going to be an interesting trip.

#gaydragonwizards #Happy Birthday #lovecraft jazz AU #oh lookit ACTUAL FIC #I was gonna just do Victor meeting Alice #but then this popped into my head and seemed funnier XD #poor Victor you have no idea how interesting this trip is going to be #it was very weird writing 'Mother and Father' instead of 'William and Nell' #I thought it would be better for the Victor POV #but if I ever do this as a proper story I might just use their names since that's what I'm used to #we'll see I suppose #hope you enjoy! #queued

[jeromeschamp84]

Is your name on the list…?

This year’s Long List has just been published, and all the finalists for a 2017 Good Funeral Award can be found on the Awards website here. 

Or you can skim down the list below and see if you’re on it. Individuals listed first, alphabetically by first name, and companies / organisations listed second. 

It has been another exceptional year for nominations and entries, and the runners up and winners of each category will be announced at the glittering lunchtime awards ceremony at Porchester Hall on September 7th.

All finalists will receive a copy of the logo and the code for a special discount on the ticket price this week. 

Individual finalists

Alan Lister

Angela Bailey

Anna Lyons

Annette Furley

Barbara Scrimshaw

Barry Waples

Cara Mair

Carol Higgins

Cath Pratley / Tosh Abbott

Chantal Lockey

Charles Muglestone (Right Revd.)

Christine Jolly

Christyan James (Fr.)

Claire Turnham

Clive Cappleman

Clive Leverton

Colette Robinson

Colin Liddell

David Crayton

David Homer

David Ledger

Dominic Lister

Drew Rush

Emma Curtis

Felicity Warner

Frances Tulley

Glynes Mewton

Helen McLean

Helen Williams

Howard Hodgson

Hugh Milsom

Ian Willox

James Rogers

Jane Morgan

Janet Qualters

Jason Kiely

Jeremy Field

Julia Samuel

Julie Hillman

Justine Wykerd

Kate Tym & Kate Dyer

Kathryn Sansom

Kirstie Sailes

Lara-Rose Iredale

Laura Jane Smith (Dr.)

Lindis Pattison-Tadman

Lindy Irving

Liz Alman

Liz Rothschild

Lizzie Neville

Lorraine Aitken

Louise Cook

Lucy Coulbert

Lucy Talbot

Lyn Baylis

Martin House

May Andrews

Michael Tiney

Natalie Newbury

Natasha Bradshaw

Nicole Turner

Oliver Bird

Paul Jansen

Pauline Hyde-Coomber

Persephone Salway

Rebecca Sharp

Rhys Askham

Richard Hooker

Roger Knight

Rosalie Kuyvenhoven

Rosie Orr

Sally Ward

Sarah Tully

Simon Dyer

Stacey Pitsillides

Steve Stacey

Stuart Preston

Susie Bearne

Terri Shanks

Victoria Fisher

Victoria McKeegan

Wendy Birch (Dr.)

Wendy Coulton

Yvonne Harper

Company / organisation finalists

A. W. Lymn – The Family Funeral Service

Amber Valley Memorial Park & Crematorium

Ann Bates Ceramics

ARKA Original Funerals

Attwood Funerals

Bewley & Merrett Funeral Directors

Brighton Death Forum

BrumYODO

Bungard Funeral Directors

Butterfly Memorial Garden

S. Boswell Independent Funeral Directors

Cardiff & Glamorgan Memorial Park & Crematorium

Cardiff Bereavement Services

Classic Flowers Maidstone

Coffin Club

Compassionate Funerals

Cradle To Grave

Crescent Funerals

Dandelion Farewells

Denbighshire Memorial Park & Crematorium

Earth to Heaven

Ecoffins

Edd Frost & Daughters

Eden Valley Woodland Burial Ground

Fosters Funeral Directors

Full Circle Funerals

Funeral Zone

Collins & Sons

Gimcrack Productions

Go Simply Funerals

Golders Green Crematorium

Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief

Harrison Funeral Home

Harrison Low Cost Funerals

Heatherley Wood Woodland

Holly’s Funerals

Huunu

C. Atkinson & Son Ltd.

Godfrey & Son Ltd.

Kettering Crematorium

Kirkleatham Memorial Park & Crematorium

Leverton & Sons

Life, Death & the Rest (Arnos Vale Cemetery)

Life, Death, Whatever

Meadow Wood Pet Cemetery

Medfest 2017 – Matters of Life & Death

Melville & Daughters

Memoria Low Cost Funerals Ltd.

Moribund (Gimcrack Productions)

Mortlake Crematorium

Nelson’s Journey Youth Panel’s Smartphone App.

O’Dwyer Funeral Service

Only With Love

Passionate Flowers

Perry & Phillips Funeral Directors

Pushing Up Daisies – Things Left Unsaid

Respect Direct Funeral Services

Rocket Catering

Rose Funerals Ltd.

Rounce Funeral Services

Sacred Stones

Scattering Ashes

Seven Hills Crematorium

Sick Festival

South Leicestershire Memorial Park & Crematorium

South Oxfordshire Crematorium & Memorial Park

Still Loved Documentary

Tamworth Co-operative Funeral Services

Tea & Sympathy

The Art of Dying Well

The Good Grief Project

The Individual Funeral Company

The Natural Death Centre

The Team at Cardiff Thornhill Crematorium

Thornhill Crematorium Cardiff

Varley & Varley Funeral Directors

Veteran Bereavement Support

E. Pinder & Son Ltd.

Waveney Memorial Park & Crematorium

Westmill Woodland Burial

Woodland Wishes

[americafuneral10-blog]

Is your name on the list…?

This year’s Long List has just been published, and all the finalists for a 2017 Good Funeral Award can be found on the Awards website here. 

Or you can skim down the list below and see if you’re on it. Individuals listed first, alphabetically by first name, and companies / organisations listed second. 

It has been another exceptional year for nominations and entries, and the runners up and winners of each category will be announced at the glittering lunchtime awards ceremony at Porchester Hall on September 7th.

All finalists will receive a copy of the logo and the code for a special discount on the ticket price this week. 

Individual finalists

Alan Lister

Angela Bailey

Anna Lyons

Annette Furley

Barbara Scrimshaw

Barry Waples

Cara Mair

Carol Higgins

Cath Pratley / Tosh Abbott

Chantal Lockey

Charles Muglestone (Right Revd.)

Christine Jolly

Christyan James (Fr.)

Claire Turnham

Clive Cappleman

Clive Leverton

Colette Robinson

Colin Liddell

David Crayton

David Homer

David Ledger

Dominic Lister

Drew Rush

Emma Curtis

Felicity Warner

Frances Tulley

Glynes Mewton

Helen McLean

Helen Williams

Howard Hodgson

Hugh Milsom

Ian Willox

James Rogers

Jane Morgan

Janet Qualters

Jason Kiely

Jeremy Field

Julia Samuel

Julie Hillman

Justine Wykerd

Kate Tym & Kate Dyer

Kathryn Sansom

Kirstie Sailes

Lara-Rose Iredale

Laura Jane Smith (Dr.)

Lindis Pattison-Tadman

Lindy Irving

Liz Alman

Liz Rothschild

Lizzie Neville

Lorraine Aitken

Louise Cook

Lucy Coulbert

Lucy Talbot

Lyn Baylis

Martin House

May Andrews

Michael Tiney

Natalie Newbury

Natasha Bradshaw

Nicole Turner

Oliver Bird

Paul Jansen

Pauline Hyde-Coomber

Persephone Salway

Rebecca Sharp

Rhys Askham

Richard Hooker

Roger Knight

Rosalie Kuyvenhoven

Rosie Orr

Sally Ward

Sarah Tully

Simon Dyer

Stacey Pitsillides

Steve Stacey

Stuart Preston

Susie Bearne

Terri Shanks

Victoria Fisher

Victoria McKeegan

Wendy Birch (Dr.)

Wendy Coulton

Yvonne Harper

Company / organisation finalists

A. W. Lymn – The Family Funeral Service

Amber Valley Memorial Park & Crematorium

Ann Bates Ceramics

ARKA Original Funerals

Attwood Funerals

Bewley & Merrett Funeral Directors

Brighton Death Forum

BrumYODO

Bungard Funeral Directors

Butterfly Memorial Garden

S. Boswell Independent Funeral Directors

Cardiff & Glamorgan Memorial Park & Crematorium

Cardiff Bereavement Services

Classic Flowers Maidstone

Coffin Club

Compassionate Funerals

Cradle To Grave

Crescent Funerals

Dandelion Farewells

Denbighshire Memorial Park & Crematorium

Earth to Heaven

Ecoffins

Edd Frost & Daughters

Eden Valley Woodland Burial Ground

Fosters Funeral Directors

Full Circle Funerals

Funeral Zone

Collins & Sons

Gimcrack Productions

Go Simply Funerals

Golders Green Crematorium

Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief

Harrison Funeral Home

Harrison Low Cost Funerals

Heatherley Wood Woodland

Holly’s Funerals

Huunu

C. Atkinson & Son Ltd.

Godfrey & Son Ltd.

Kettering Crematorium

Kirkleatham Memorial Park & Crematorium

Leverton & Sons

Life, Death & the Rest (Arnos Vale Cemetery)

Life, Death, Whatever

Meadow Wood Pet Cemetery

Medfest 2017 – Matters of Life & Death

Melville & Daughters

Memoria Low Cost Funerals Ltd.

Moribund (Gimcrack Productions)

Mortlake Crematorium

Nelson’s Journey Youth Panel’s Smartphone App.

O’Dwyer Funeral Service

Only With Love

Passionate Flowers

Perry & Phillips Funeral Directors

Pushing Up Daisies – Things Left Unsaid

Respect Direct Funeral Services

Rocket Catering

Rose Funerals Ltd.

Rounce Funeral Services

Sacred Stones

Scattering Ashes

Seven Hills Crematorium

Sick Festival

South Leicestershire Memorial Park & Crematorium

South Oxfordshire Crematorium & Memorial Park

Still Loved Documentary

Tamworth Co-operative Funeral Services

Tea & Sympathy

The Art of Dying Well

The Good Grief Project

The Individual Funeral Company

The Natural Death Centre

The Team at Cardiff Thornhill Crematorium

Thornhill Crematorium Cardiff

Varley & Varley Funeral Directors

Veteran Bereavement Support

E. Pinder & Son Ltd.

Waveney Memorial Park & Crematorium

Westmill Woodland Burial

Woodland Wishes

      Is your name on the list…? published first on YouTube

[thevalicemultiverse]

TV: We now return to Game of Thrones (as interpreted by your delusion and lack of seeing the actual show)

Wizard: Your Majesty, the gnomes are complaining about high taxes on their various gnome products.

King: Gnome taxes pay for all my drawbridges and catapults. Tell the gnomes to pay their taxes or I’ll ban those shoes that curl up at the end. They’ll have to wear normal shoes from that point forward.

Wizard: Mmm, yes. The gnomes would hate that.

King: I know! Knowing what gnomes like and don’t like is how I became an important king. There’s only one rule in the Game of Thrones: He who controls the gnomes controls the thrones!

Meanwhile, in Gnometown…

Gnome: Help! A Minotaur stole my car!

Alice: [having explained all this to the others] So, is this better than the actual --

Victoria: Yes. So much better than the actual show.

Lizzie: Extremely better. Better than the books too.

Victor: The only thing it's missing are the cool dragons.

Alice: Perhaps one of the gnomes hatches a bunch to ride against the king?

Victor: Yes.

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Nice Place To Live #game of gnomes #~C: Victor Van Dort #~C: Alice Liddell #~C: Victoria Everglot #~C: Lizzie Liddell #((no shade to those who do enjoy A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones #I just don't think the series would be this group's thing #whereas a silly fantasy series about gnomes dealing with minotaurs stealing their cars #and maybe raising dragons to set against the king regarding their tax situation #hell I'D watch that)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue

[thevalicemultiverse]

“I’ve done it! Come quickly! I’ve invented a machine that will let you unsee cartoon pornography.”

“Whoa, how does it work?”

“Via this machine, a person can be sent back in time, whereupon they can stop themselves from viewing them.”

“You could also use this to just travel through time in general, right?”

“Huh, yeah. I never thought of that.”

Victor: [snorts at the exchange in the show, then looks over at Alice] I'm sure you've wished you could time travel a lot.

Alice: [nods] Plenty. Lots of things I'd like to undo in my life -- and my death. But these days, my desire to change the past keeps running up against one big obstacle.

Victor: [puzzled] Oh? What?

Alice: [looking at him] The fact that, if I hadn't gone through everything I did -- the fire, Bumby, Fish, vampirism? You would have died that night in Santa Monica. [bites her lip] I really don't like thinking of a world without you in it.

Victor: [stunned silence, then -- blinking back tears -- reaches for her hand] I. . .I wish our meeting wasn't predicated on you suffering such misery.

Alice: [taking his hand] Me too. But I'll take it nonetheless.

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #tw: pornography mention #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Epic of the Ankaran Sarcophagus #could just time travel #~C: Victor Van Dort #~C: Alice Liddell #((sorry to make your funny ask heartfelt #just this is genuinely something I've talked about on my other blog victorluvsalice #this Alice would never risk Victor dying afraid and alone to not be a vampire #and once you add Victoria Emily Bonejangles and especially Lizzie into the mix #well it's probably a good thing Doc would be too worried about paradoxes to lend her a time machine)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue

[thevalicemultiverse]

Deb of Night: Trent, why don't you believe in Climate Change? Trent: You got it all wrong, Deb. I don't believe in Climate. D: Climate. Like...Climate? T: Exactly Deb! This whole thing's a hoax! Weather is a conspiracy perpetrated by the Illuminated Council of Subterranean Lizard Men who secretly run the one-world government. D: Weather is a hoax? T: Yes.

D: Certainly you felt the wind blowing on you whenever you went outside, Trent. What do you think wind is? T: Invisible holograms. D: And rain? T: Wet holograms. D: Indulge me, Trent. What do you think people make snowman out of? T: Snow is a mass hallucination brought on by the blue dye in mom jeans!

T: Deb, look at this model of the earth. D: I can't look at it, this is a call in show. T: See what happens when I pour "rain" on it? I don't see any flooding? Do you, Deb? D: That's because I can't see the model, Trent. T: And what about this "wind"? [blows on something from his end of the call] Oh, I guess that's it for Earth! We all got blown over! You see how idiotic this is, right, Deb? D: No, I see how exactly idiotic this is, Trent.

Victor: [listening to this in horrified fascination] Oh my God, I think he’s serious. I don’t know how, but -- I think he’s serious.

Alice: Which do you think would be funnier -- Carlos calling in to agree with the guy, or calling in to absolutely wreck him?

Lizzie: Combination -- Carlos saying that weather is a hoax, or at least controlled, but Trent’s got the wrong people in charge of said hoax.

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Epic of the Ankaran Sarcophagus #weather is a hoax #~C: Victor Van Dort #~C: Alice Liddell #~C: Lizzie Liddell #((oh my god XD #Deb you put up with so much on this show)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue #Anonymous

[thevalicemultiverse]

i wish men would stop having opinions about women. honest to god shut the hell up

Emily: Men having opinions about women is the worst. Especially when that opinion is “you have money, I don’t, so I’m going to trick you into eloping with me and kill you for it.”

Victoria: Or “you’re my daughter so you’re going to date whoever I tell you to date even if you think they’re weird and creepy.”

Lizzie: Or “I am not going to take no for an answer -- instead, I will make sure you can never say no again.”

Alice: Or, “I am not going to take no for an answer and instead I’m going to curse you with a thirst for blood and permanently-untreatable madness.” . . .Which I grant is a bit specific to me, but you get what I mean.

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #tw: violence mention #tw: implied rape #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Epic of the Ankaran Sarcophagus #men stop having opinions about women #~C: Victoria Everglot #~C: Emily Cartwell #~C: Lizzie Liddell #~C: Alice Liddell #((yeah they have had their fair share of bad experiences #Alice was going to end on a complaint about LaCroix #and admit it wasn't 'gender specific' #but then I remembered how Fish Embraced her and was like #yeaaaaah #that fits better)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue #Anonymous

[thevalicemultiverse]

Newsman: We now go live to the Vatican, with a message from the Pope. Pope: Hey folks! It's me the Pope. I know you're having a rough time right now, so I had a chat with God. He's agreed to cut you some slack. God says it's officially no longer a sin to watch those Russian car crash complications on Youtube. Knock yourselves out! *smiles and gives a thumbs up*

Alice: [glaring at the TV] Tell me that what I just heard about “Russian car crash complications on YouTube” isn’t what he just said.

Lizzie: No, but do you actually care what he did say?

Alice: If it’s not “I talked with God and he’s going to wipe out this virus and certain key politicians with it,” then not really.

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #tw: coronavirus #((by implication)) #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Nice Place To Live #Pope on rough times #~C: Lizzie Liddell #~C: Alice Liddell #((this whole situation would have Alice thinking a lot about the situation with the Brotherhood in Los Angeles #only this time there aren't any convenient plague-bearing vampires to kill to fix things #she is frustrated #and kinda thirsty)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue #Anonymous

[thevalicemultiverse]

Actually selkies are skin changing fae, not wereseals. The difference is selkies are skin changers while werewolves are shape changers.

Lizzie: Wait, so they’re a type of fairy? Who -- well, skin changing sounds like it has the same result as shape changing --

Sam: [pinching the bridge of his nose] I have enough trouble keeping track of how many different clans of vampire there are. We don’t need to get into this too!

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Nice Place To Live #blown a seal #~C: Lizzie Liddell #~C: Bonejangles #((the WoD has too many splats #also I assume selkies were part of Changeling: The Dreaming #I was only into VtM in the Old World of Darkness #my particular brand of Changeling is The Lost from the nWoD #before it became Chronicles #...there are also too many versions of the WoD)) #Anonymous

[thevalicemultiverse]

If no one from the future comes to stop me how bad of a decision can it really be?

Alice: Well, I think most bad decisions aren’t bad on the scale of ‘if I could time travel just once in my life, I would use the opportunity to reverse this decision.” At least, I hope so -- if you have multiple incidents like that, you may want to rethink how you’re living.

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #~V: Cuddlepile #~T: Girls Love Girls And Boys #no one from the future came to stop me #~C: Alice Liddell #((Alice of course would use time travel to try and keep her family from dying #maybe find a way to kill that bastard Bumby before he could ever get near Lizzie #would make for an interesting AU right?)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue #Anonymous

[thevalicemultiverse]

Go slowly insane in an ISOLATED BARN. *Grow a beard *See things *cry in front of windows *befriend cutlery *Declare yourself King SECLUDED DESPAIR BREAKS CALL NOW

Lizzie: . . .wait, is that -- is that intended to be some sort of holiday package?

Alice: Seems to me like you could save some money by driving to, I don’t know, Idaho and just breaking into someone’s barn. You could even bring your own cutlery from home if you wanted.

Victor: What if you can’t grow a beard?

Alice: Find a costume shop on the way -- still less than what they’re asking!

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Epic of the Ankaran Sarcophagus #secluded despair breaks #~C: Lizzie Liddell #~C: Victor Van Dort #~C: Alice Liddell #((if it's a weird commercial #it's the World of Darkness #where's the number OP)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue #Anonymous

[thevalicemultiverse]

If you think about it, your girlfriend Emily, your sister, and her boyfriend, are more closely related to Kuei Jin than you, a kindred, are. Think about it, they are souls from the afterlife who are currently residing in their corpse bodies and rely on feeding to prevent from rotting (them meat, Kuei Jin chi).

Alice: . . .That’s an accurate and very weird thought. Especially since we know they were made by the Giovanni, and they’re the Italian Mob Stereotype Kindred.

Lizzie: [shrugs] Maybe the Giovanni ritual they came up with was created by learning about how Kuei-Jin come to be and trying to copy the process? 

Alice: Perhaps. . .I’m just glad we’re currently away from any other Kindred who might raise a fuss about the whole matter.

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Nice Place To Live #not quite kuei jin #~C: Lizzie Liddell #~C: Alice Liddell #((yes that is what the Giovanni are #and that is an interesting parallel #I need to research the Giovanni a little more as I get my timeline sorted #probably need to look up more on the Kuei-jin too honestly)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue #Anonymous

[thevalicemultiverse]

"Hey is that "I Thought it was Margarine" Grade B butter?" "It sure is!" "Is it true it has all the calories of butter with the rancid taste of margarine?" "Yep!" "Can I have some?" "Get your own!" *stabbing sound* "TAKE THAT, YOU BITCH!" AHHHH! WHAT THE HELL?!" "How do you like that?!" "Hey jokes on you! I have Hepatitis!" "Nyaaaaah"

Emily stares at the radio, as if eyeing it hard enough will make what just came out of it make sense. “I really, REALLY don’t get these commercials.”

“I think they’re trying to be -- ‘edgy?’“ Lizzie says uncertainly. “Or maybe use dark humor? I don’t know, it just comes off as idiotic. Like most ads, really.”

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #tw: violence mention #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Epic of the Ankaran Sarcophagus #thought it was margarine #~C: Emily Cartwell #~C: Lizzie Liddell #((let's face it #this WOULD work as a follow-up ad to the canonical Bloodlines one about 'margarine' #it's really no weirder)) #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue #Anonymous

[thevalicemultiverse]

Yeah, well saying someone's name gives you power over them, that's basic magic 101. So by calling you, sister, Bonejangles, boyfriend, and Corpse Bride, girlfriend, (apart from that one time, but that was to specify between her other girlfriend) I diminish any power I might have over you all.

Lizzie: [blinks a few times] Er -- well, I guess I did hear my name in the ritual the Giovanni used for this -- [waves her hand over her body] -- but most of it was in Italian and I don’t remember it very clearly. . . Are -- are you a magic-user then?

Alice: On the one hand, I appreciate you apparently trying to be polite; on the other, I feel compelled to say I have powers that don’t require me knowing your name.

#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask) #~M: grin without a cat (anon) #~V: Londerland Bloodlines #~T: Nice Place To Live #not quite kuei jin #~C: Lizzie Liddell #~C: Alice Liddell #((to be fair Alice mage magic is a different animal to vampire disciplines)) #Anonymous