thewatercouldcover

[thewatercouldcover]

a concerning amount of witchblr will be like "um actually new years was stolen by europeans from the ancient god scroobus mcdoobus" and then you actually try to research scroobus mcdoobus and it turns out he was invented in the 1940s by a conspiracy theorist who powdered every meal with ketamine and thinks that queer people are reincarnated fish

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Extremely Niche Modern Occultist Drama Tip:

Someone saying they're a "Wiccan Priestess" means nothing. Wicca does not have a formalized priest class. If you actually want to know their clout, ask what initiations they've taken.

#yeahhhh back in the day i knew a few people who were like 'i'm a priestess you have to respect me' #they were. mods on wicca-leaning witchcraft discord servers. LMAO

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so i've been on this site for a hot minute and i've always operated on the idea that if you're here long enough you'll end up with at least one popular text post but uh, maybe that's not true? so, i wanna know

#yes and i think i was complaining about the losers on quora #can't even remember what it was about but it blew up and then normal-horoscopes found it and it blew up more. which was really cool #lemme go check what it was about real quick #oh nope yep it was about crystal lifespans and having to replace millions of years old rocks in 5 months bc the magic's gone out of it #so like thanks to everyone who was involved in that bc it turned from a vent post abt quora i forgot i made to a bunch of ppl being funny #which was really nice. i guess being a hater on the internet has its perks

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Is it true that Friday the 13th was a celebration for Freyja before the Christians started associating it with Satan?

So Friday the 13th wasn't really a thing until the 19th century, and it happened just because both Friday and 13 were considered unlucky.

So no.

Drawing Norse connections here is tenuous. There is a story involving Loki that some use to theorize as a reason that 13 might be unlucky -- but that's just a hypothesis, with no more weight than the one that suggests it's unlucky because of Judas being the 13th guest at the last supper.

Which considering how widespread the idea that the number 13 being unlucky is, the Norse origin seems even less likely. And Friday in English is named for Frigg, not Freyja. Some argue that they're the same goddess, but that's not commonly agreed on. In any case, Friday in other languages in cultures that also see Friday the 13th as unlucky have completely unrelated root words.

And frankly that's not even tackling the subject of what calendar pre-Christian Norse and Germanic tribes were using in the first place.

This is one of those "Neopagans want to feel persecuted" stories that's been around for a long time, but has less support than a a cooked spaghetti bridge.

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You may think it cruel but when a white witch pisses me off I go through her etsy listings for native bird feathers and forward it to fish and wildlife services

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I cannot believe I have to say this but you HAVE to learn about plants on a scientific level if you use herbs in spell crafting. It’s for SAFETY reasons. You CANNOT BURN CERTAIN HERBS and you cannot touch or consume certain herbs. You NEED to know this for every herb you use- it’s not a pick and choose thing you guys it’s SAFETY. ESPECIALLY to my chronically ill witches and practitioners like myself.

Please stop throwing herbs into a fire bc you saw some tiktok witch do it. PLEASE.

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There's a correct way to engage with the occult, and it's the exact mindset and methods I use. If you're wooier than me you're an idiot and if you're more rationalist than me you're an uncultured anti-intellectual. I am the razor of occult truth join my private discord only for the wealthiest and most parasocial of my followers.

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I think when gay people discovered Jung a new religion was born where they burn sandalwood next to some crystals and flex to each other over some lacroix about how much they go to therapy and how many queer dnd podcasts they listen to.

It’s a sexless new age enlightenment pseudopsychological therapeutic social justice language pissing contest. Who can present themselves as the most sterile poised guiltless “intuitive tarot reader”.

It’s queerness with the edges ground off, magic without blood, psychoanalysis without ugliness, art without disturbances, smoke without fire

It’s like corporate pride meets new age wicca meets self help bullshit meets fandom meets empath nonsense and let me tell you it drains the fucking life out of me

Can we please just have the Radical Faeries back? Please?

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Every single year, without fail, we deal with the fact that the internet is obsessed with promoting the misinformation that Ostara must have been stolen from Easter.

People will argue until they’re blue in the face…But they won’t provide citations or evidence to the contrary and the reason why is simple: there isn’t any.

If you find that celebrating Ostara brings you joy: we aren’t here to rain on your parade or stop you in the slightest.

But misinformation, even misinformation that sounds cool and serves to further rhetorical goals, is still wrong and harmful.

So, after years of promising it, we’ve finally delivered: Easter isn’t stolen from Ostara.

Have questions? We’re happy to answer!

Make sure to follow our Instagram @jewitches for the ongoing discussion!

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Buying overpriced quartz from a New Age shop in hopes that it will ~heal~ you isn’t really all that different from giving money to a Christian televangelist faith healer for the same reasons, imo. A scam that flavors itself as feminist and countercultural is still a scam.

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Reminder that witch labels (EG, green witch, kitchen witch, storm witch, etc.) are an extremely recent convention. If a label works for you, that's fine - but don't feel like you have to label yourself, let alone force yourself into some kind of box.

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Some witches will argue that Christians stole pagan traditions and holidays, that there is absolutely no way syncretism played a role in anything related to the topic... then go on to use the whitewashed concept of chakras, try to girlbossify the Jewish demon Lilith into a "Goddess", demonize Hoodoo (and by extension black folk) in the name of love & light, steal Indigenous traditions to remove them from their original context... and the list goes on...

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I don't know how to describe it, but people who have spent too much time in the post-new-age lightworker starseed crystal Jesus occult milieu have this specific way of speaking and writing.

It's not quite word salad you can still kinda see the idea they're trying to communicate but it's delivered with these very specific sort of run on sentences that makes it sound like stream of consciousness. It's like their brain hasn't been fully melted but it's just been kinda light-fried in a pan for a bit too long.

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yeah can you all shut up for a minute i'm trying to see if I can wear my necklace glow bowling without it getting damaged. yeah yeah i know you're saying this will help my anxiety but right now im worried about if i can wear my necklace glow bowling without it getting damaged. YES I KNOW VIBRRATIONS OR WHATEVER I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF

#OG content #:/ *long-suffering sigh* #crystals #amethyst #crystal healing #crystal witch #crystal magic #glow bowling #jewelry

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I am going to use this to create a pathway of energy that lets me shoot psychic beams from my asshole

#OG content #is that the post tag i use on this blog? #witchblr #witchcraft #crystal healing #energy #magic #taking the piss #ruby kyanite

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I love how every list of "Witchcraft Books To Avoid" involves at least one text by Buckland. He's so prolific he's managed to fall into every single bad occult history trope possible EXCEPT for straight up being a Nazi. Like he's not a fascist he's just a really bad wizard.

#one of the first witchcraft books i encountered was an acquaintance's buckland book and i read it and was like. lol ew #l + ratio + the robes you said had to be worn don't even fuck + you don't either + go a chapter without conflating wicca and witchcraft #*shrek voice* the robes don't even fuck #if i am going to wear robes they're going to be blue with sick ass gold wizard stars on them not this plain shit #the only chapter i found value in was the palmistry one because it was less full of bullshit than the rest #thinking about this book too hard makes me want to drink #i hate buckland so much it's unreal

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Alright. Y’all know how this works. That’s $1100 right there. 

May you be completely, abundantly, beautifully blessed.