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Horse girl put volume up 🔉🔉

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Funny story

Shemar Moore tried to hook up with my aunt (and my mom I think) and even called their moms to ask permission on bourbon street circa 2003-04 and bought them hand grenades.

Not kidding. They also turned him down.

#shemar moore #criminal minds #ugh I can’t believe that. #derek morgan #derek morgan criminal minds #derek morgan x reader

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Headcanon where spencer takes forever getting ready? Yes. I believe so.

“Spence, we’re gonna be late!” She called, standing in the hallway of their shared apartment. Spencer took forever getting ready, which tracked. “You’re gonna make us late!”

“Relax, sweetheart,” Spencer huffed, stepping out of the bedroom as he buttoned the top of his shirt. “It takes us exactly thirteen minutes and seventeen seconds to arrive, including the streetlights, stop signs, and possible traffic.”

“Curse you and your big brain, Spencer Reid,” You playfully chided, kissing his cheek as you grabbed your keys. “Ready?”

“Let me grab my shoes.”

“Jesus H. Christ, Spencer!”

#♡☆​ 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙮'𝙨 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 ☆♡ #spencer reid is my comfort character #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid drabble #criminal minds

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i hate to be problematic, but smth has been bothering me for a while and I js don't want to keep it in anymore.

this is considering rory's relationship. leave now if you are easily irritated by the mention of the topic.

these comments are directly refering to rory's relationship with kate. the whole divorce shit happened in OCTOBER and these "adults" are still reacting about it in such a way? while I 100% believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be able to embrace it without being harmed, there is no reason whatsoever for people to be so involved in a person they don't even know.

these were posted by the OP of the previous images.

i find it so bizarre that people who claim to be grown are behaving this way on social media. it's one thing to dislike someone for something that they did, but going to the extent of harming them, insulting their relationship etc makes you just as awful. as much as I want to disgrace this horrible human being by dropping the @, I don't want to stoop to their level. this makes me feel so disgusting. famous people really can't take a break from shit like this. seriously, do better.

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I’m going to impregnate him.

The knife did it for me

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Me; babe should I start an OnlyFans

Him; whatever makes you happy! 😊

Me; wouldn’t u feel kind of weird for dating a pornstar?

Him; no lol ive done it before

Me; SEND LINKS NOW.

Him; NO I MEANT DATING A PORNSTAR LOL

Me; oh lmfao I was finna call you my little pornstar

Him; *rockstar 😭

Me; imagine when ur band takes off you can tell people you’re dating a porn star.

Me; fuck being the controversially young girlfriend. Controversial pornstar girlfriend.

Him; baby we have a five year age gap???

Me; it’s a tumblr thing, babes, dwbi

Actual conversation with my boyfriend btw.

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ME TOO. The scream I scrumpt.

What It Cost: Samuel Lafferty x Y/N Mini Series PRT 01

Tagging: @ithinkitstimetonap @kappasbbgirl @chainsawgvtsfvck @luzclarita57 @miniisunshine @madamemaximoff06 @romanroyapoligist @thirtyratsinasuit @ethical-cain-vinnel @blueberrypancakesworld @dumbbitchdelrey @loljustignoreth4t @tvgirlsbluehair @s0ulfulll @dukesofsp00ks @mommymilkers0526 @vomiting-blood @lustkillers @s-0lar @hisemoslut @roryculkinsgf @ultrakissed

Samuel moved around his parents land with his brothers, doing the last of the chores for the day before they had an early supper. They were supposed to meet some new members of the church today and according to his mother, a few new members were women looking for godly men. Samuel was already happily married to Sarah but that didn't mean he couldn't check out fresh meat that one of his brother's might bring into the family.

Samuel had always been a faithful man but he often let his eyes wander. Most of his confessionals were to repent for his fantasies he had outside of his marriage. He was reassured that his thoughts, while impure, were that of a holy man looking to bring more love and light to the community.

The moment his eyes found Y/n running around with his children, he knew he was in trouble. She was a bit younger than his wife but old enough to have already been married once and birthed a child of her own. Samuel had kept his eyes on her most of the day and listened to her story being told from his mother's mouth. She had married a Mormon man but he had died while on a mission trip leaving behind her and their 8 year old little girl.

It had been over a year since her husband had passed so she appeared to be ready for remarriage and according to his father, she would be a great addition to the Lafferty family based on her involvement in her last church.

No one had ever made such an impression on his parents before and something about the way she kept herself quiet and composed like a lady but still manage to seem like a fun-loving outsider intrigued him. He watched the way her hips moved in her dress, her bare feet running through the grass after the kids, catching them and spinning them around. Her ample breasts bounced in her top but she kept all the buttons securely fastened, not allowing him even the slightest peak.

At one point, she runs directly into him and he catches her from hitting the ground.

"I'm so sorry! I clearly wasn't watching where I was running." She apologized and he smiled.

"My kids are quite atheletic. They can run you all day long if you let them." He joked.

"I've got a pretty high stamina so I think I'll be okay." She laughed. Samuel tried not to think about all the ways he could test her stamina if he just had some alone time with her.

"I'm sure Sarah appreciates the help, as well as the other little ladies." Samuel watched her tuck her hair behind her ear and lick her lips. What he wouldn't give to just get a taste of them.

"She's amazing all on her own. I'm just happy to be around such a big, loving family. I've certainly missed this." She watched the kids playing with a smile.

"Well you're always welcome here. I know if you're looking for a herd of chaotic kids to spend time with, we have that at our place all the time." Samuel offered hoping she would take him up on the offer.

"Sarah actually said she was going to check with you about my daughter and I staying a few days until our house has been cleaned and blessed. I never like to bring my baby into a home that hasn't been properly blessed." Y/n reached out and touched Samuel's arm and it gave him chills.

"Absolutely. We would love to have you both." Samuel got a sudden burst of excitement thinking about her being under the same roof as him.

He went the whole day talking to her and playing with his children as his wife and family welcomed them into the fold. Once they had gotten home, Y/n and Sarah started to put the children to bed. He passed by the laundry room and noticed his wife was bent over the dryer, trying to retrieve something, her skirt had risen up, exposing the red panties she was wearing. He walked up behind her, gripping her hips roughly and rutting his hard cock against her ass.

She yelped and stood up straight revealing it wasn't Sarah at all. Samuel let go of her hips and stepped back.

"Y/n! I'm so sorry! I thought you were Sarah!" Samuel was sure she would slap him or yell but she chuckled, pushing her hair off her face.

"Sarah let me borrow a skirt. I got my dress wet washing the kids up." She was blushing and Samuel nodded.

"Truly, I do apologize for my actions." Samuel was still rock hard and tried to hide it with his hands.

"No need to apologize. Having a healthy sex life with your wife is a beautiful thing. All those children didn't just show up." She teased. She turned back to the dryer and Samuel noticed her skirt was tucked into her panties.

"Um...you're alittle...do you mind?" He held his hands out to her waist and she glanced at her hip. She watched his hands untuck her dress and smooth it out against her panties.

"How mortifying." She covered her face and he laughed.

"Don't be silly. We can both be slightly embarrassed tonight." She looked at his face and noticed how when he smiled with his mouth, his eyes smiled too.

"Trust me Samuel, nothing about that is embarrassing...impressive but not embarrassing." She glanced down at the front of him and he bit his lip realizing she was talking about his cock. He grinned, moving his hands from her hips and pushing some of her hair out of her face.

"Red is a good color on you." He said touching her cheek just where the blush rose.

"It's my favorite color." She replied, Samuel making a mental note.

"I think it's mine now too." He teased.

Samuel had a feeling his dreams were going to be quite interesting tonight with the thought of fucking Y/n on the dryer will she screamed his name.

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here’s my guidelines for asks and stuff btw;

NSFW or SFW, idrm. plus I’m down bad soooo

probably mostly going to do fem!readers, i suck at writing male!reader fics but ill work on it (gn is fine!!)

The fandoms/characters I’ll write for;

Criminal Minds — Spencer Reid

Literally ANY Rory Culkin character

The Band Ghost

Fandoms/characters I will NOT write for;

Creepypasta/Slender Man Mythos (specifically because I was a victim of ad*m r*sner, and everyone I’ve met in the community is horrible except for like three people)

Anything to do with the bands mayhem and burzum, I’m related to someone in one of those bands and it’s weird to see fanart/fanfiction of your cousin. (Lords of chaos doesn’t count. I’m not writing for any of them except for R!Euronymous)

I probably won’t write for Papa Nihil or Sister Imperator anytime soon, i just don’t like them.

I cannot believe I have to say this but i am NOT writing for LOLITA!!! I’ve gotten several anons asking about it. NO.

Any real people, really. (I might do fluff with people’s comfort characters, anything from cartoons to musicians bc everyone needs a smile on their face:>)

#i ❤️ rory culkin #rory culkin #rory culkin smut #r!euronymous #charlie walker x reader #eurory #kappa black mirror #lords of chaos #mayhem band #scream 4 #mgg #Spencer Reid #spencer reid x reader #slenderverse #slender man mythos #creepypasta #lolita 🤢 #lolita book #lolita movie #ask and you shall receive #the band ghost #ghost band #ghost bc

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sweet baby Jesus and the grown one too

Matthew Gray Gubler in Horse Girl

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quickies with jack, anyone?

jack thurlow loves quickies. he wants you all the fucking time. he’s the guy where you in your natural state turns him on. seeing you in the morning right when you wake up, boom morning wood. hell, just domesticity with you excites him. you’re in the kitchen and he’s watching from the distance, arms crossed and head titled. “the hell are you lookin at me like that?” you eye him with a smile as he comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. “just..so beautiful baby. so beautiful.” he whispers into your neck, and before you know it he’s sucking on your neck and digging his fingers deep in you. “jack—the food,” you mewl, though you push back on his fingers, asking for more. he mumbled a short “fuck it well order in,” before holding you closer and digging into you deeper, making you moan out.

jack thurlow loves quickies. he loooves when you deliver his lunch to him at work. it’s such a nice day out, you come in wearing a little sundress all dolled up, bright smile ready to see your hardworking husband. he almost can’t stand how worked up you make him, because you come in so innocently and he’s ready to devour you at his little cubicle. he’s got you in the backseat of his car, broad fuckin daylight, you on your back with your legs clutching his sides. “y’so fuckin nasty,” you whimper, your dress hiked up as he fucks into you with need, eyes never leaving you. “someone’s gonna see you,” you say quietly trying to contain yourself but he always hits it so fucking right. “don’t care baby, can’t let you leave without gettin a taste, fuck,” is all he says before continuing grinding his cock into you, windows beyond fogged up.

jack thurlow loves quickies. he absolutely loves watching you get ready in the morning. on the rare days he’s actually off he still wakes up in the morning to spend the morning with you, watching you get all dolled up in your little office wear, pencil skirt and your cute little blouse, making you breakfast. he’s on the edge of the bed watching you get ready, hard dick poking his pajamas as he watches you apply lipstick. “you gonna be ok all by yourself?” you joke as he comes from behind you, hand rubbing down to your ass as he watches you from the mirror. “think i’ll manage. how much time you got baby?” he asks and you already know what he’s insinuating as he speaks into your neck, placing light kisses on your jaw. “not enough jack,” you whine, though you feel yourself giving in already when he pulls you back on him and grinds his cock against you. “i’ll drive you it’s ok, i’ll be quick promise,” he says, and before you can form a rebuttal he’s hiking your skirt up and rubbing your clit.

jack thurlow loves quickies. he also loves when you initiate it. you guys go on a little date, give yourselves a break from work and go see a little movie. the theatres relatively empty and you start cuddling against him, rubbing his leg higher and higher, causing him to hold you closer, rubbing your back. he only starts paying attention to you when you start to kiss him cheek, whispering a sweet “I love you,” to him, grabbing his dick through his joggers, causing him to buck up to your touch, leaning into your kiss a little as he looks at you. “love you too mama,” he says softly, his breath picking up when you move from stroking him through his pants to stuffing your hand down his pants, making him wince. “yeah?” he breaths before you capture him in a kiss, “you’re nastyy baby,” he smiles before holding your cheek and kissing back as you continue on.

jack thurlow loves quickies. babyboy will allow you to fuck yourself on him anywhere you please. pregnant reader anyone? you’re a few months swoll, wanting to be comfortable as possible so all you’re in is long skirts and slip on dresses and maybe some sandals. you guys get caught up in a little get together party situation, and you’re having a great time until you’re just..hit with a dire need for your boyfriend. you’re holding your stomach when he comes back with two solo cups, smiling at you. “gotta stay hydrated. you ok baby?” he watches your eyes go big as they bounce around his body. his abs that poked through his tight black shirt, his arms, his beautiful hair to his pretty smile casted to you. you sigh through your nose, feeling your panties dampen and nod. “can..can we go somehwere private?” you whisper. he jumps to worse case immediately, “something wrong? are you hot?” he’s holding your stomach and crouching a little to your eye level. “no just..needa be alone with you for a sec..” you say, and next thing he knows he’s leaned back on his elbows, pants pulled down to his knees as u sink down on his cock, dress hiked over your swoll belly and hands planted on his firm chest, trying your best not to moan too loud. his brows bunch together as his mouth falls open silently, head throw. back to the ceiling. “fuck mama yer’ so damn wet,” he’s quiet, almost shaky as you bounce on his cock eagerly. he’s got a hand on your hip, trying to keep you from hurting yourself, having power over you even on bottom. “look so good daddy, just needed you so bad,,” you sniffle, bunching up his shirt as you mewl n moan quietly. “you got it baby, take what you need,” he pats your ass softly before you kiss him on the lips softly. :3

guys I have real fics otw I swear…..don’t leave me🙏🏽💔💔 just got a lot goin on but i’ll bounce back!! euro, kap, and a third secret guy otw!!🤗🤍

join my taglist! @angelsanarchy @monkeyfart @444rockstargf @bambi-horror @auggiethecreator @wonkinoo @brithedemonspawn @yungbloodsuxca @ween @bluerthanvelvet444 @nom-nommmm1 @xelam444 @iiheartsai @smuttyslutty666 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @mrsdove @mommymilkers0526 @thirtyratsinasuit @lilith-jae @greenxgloss

sorry I post so late I finish these at like 1 am lolz😭

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Just called out birth giver on her bullshit since she won’t get me help and cancelled my therapy appointments, proceeds to attack me for going nonverbal and say that I’m never going to be anything in life. ✌️

Btw, my IQ is in the 130s and she’s set the kitchen on fire for forgetting to put water in the ramen when she puts it in the microwave- twice.

Anyways time to watch videos of my comfort character while I crave the touch of a mother’s love.

#Spencer Reid is my comfort character #so is Jack Thurlow #and kappa #i think i have a problem #someone reccomend fluff fics with Spencer Reid. #Yknow what #I’m going on character ai to traumatize Jack Thurlow #jack thurlow #spencer reid #i ❤️ rory culkin #abusive mom check 🤍

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I need him to moan n whimper while I step on him.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #I need him.

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𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒓!𝒋𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔...

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: female!reader x college professor!jack thurlow

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 712

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: reader is legal adult, jack is in his mid-30s, flirting, teasing, mention of handjob, sexual innuendos

the loud shriek of the afternoon dismissal bell broke you out of your obscure train of thoughts. your head lifted from the cold table, standing up from your chair and hurriedly shoving all your books into your bag. “y/n, i would like to see you at my desk for a moment.” halfway through the door, you stopped in your tracks. oh shit. this was the third time this week that you’d been called to stand in mr. thurlow’s presence. but it was as if he got a sick thrill out of keeping you on your toes.

you shuffled your way over to his cluttered desk in the corner of the room. you stood a good two feet away from him, marking sure to keep your distance as he swiveled around in his chair and glanced up at you through the lenses of his charming glasses as he typed away on his century old computer, his hungry eyes now leering at your body in your misfitting uniform skirt and blazer. it wasn’t your fault that the school board always “accidentally” sent you the wrong size. 

“good, please have a seat.” you swallowed hard, palms already going clammy. “o-on what, sir..?” he looked over at you, seeing the problem.he gave a forced laugh, shifting a few inches in his seat. “silly me. here, we can share this one.” you felt obliged to do what he said, even though he phrased it as a suggestion. you sat down with him, his thigh pressing into your bare leg.

you felt that familiar molten in your gut as you breathed in his intoxicating scent of aged wood and musk. his low voice that had a slight rasp brought your attention back. “i’m sure you know why i’ve called you.” during your lunch break, he had caught you giving another student a “handy” in the janitor’s closet. you knew what you did, but playing dumb seemed to work for you.

he turned slightly so he was directly facing you, he hand strategically gripping your thigh and placing it on top of his own. “i-i’m sorry for falling asleep in class, mr. thurlow. i was just having so much trouble with the research paper you assigned yesterday and-” he held out a hand, shutting you up immediately. “don’t bullshit me, dear.” he words were said with such authority that you felt your spine straighten.

“you and i both know what i’m talking about.” you hadn’t even noticed his arm slithering around your waist, pulling you closer to him to stop you from falling off the seat. he cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably. “while i am aware that you are a young woman, free to go about and do whatever she may please,” he brought a finger to your chin, making you look up at him. “i know you are a very smart girl. and none of the pretentious boys at this school are worthy of your attention…” his hand began to trail down, caressing your hips. “...nor your touch.” 

he was hypnotizing you with his words. you felt your stomach churn with desire as you took in every detail of him, the single bolt of white in this chestnut brown hair in his bun signifying that he was a much more experienced adult than you were. he took off his glasses, folding them and hooking them into the convenient opening in his shirt.

he pulled you off of the seat, hands on your waist as he brought his face leveled to your stomach. “i’m just a concerned teacher looking out for my favourite student.” he nearly had you sitting on his lap, your core begging for an end to the torture he was putting you through. he began to bring your hips down onto his parted thighs ever so slowly, your heavy breathing syncing with his.

when you were low enough, he brought his lips to the cave of your ear. “i expect to see you tomorrow afternoon at your lunch break. then we can tackle this complicated assignment together. how’s that sound?” he winked, making you nod as a smile spread across your lips. “excellent… i look forward to it.” i gave you a pat on the ass, bringing his chair back in front of his computer and typing away once again, stealing glances at your body from behind as you walked away.

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hey, if you’re going to attack me for posting this I’m blocking you immediately. this is the last thing I’m saying about this subject and I won’t be replying to anyone else on that post or this one.

Writing for the actual Øystein Aarseth is fuckin weird. Same with Pelle and Varg.

For starters, Pelle needed psychological help. Øystein used this as a gain for his band. Even though several people who knew Pelle personally and said he was never depressed, he just believed he was meant to be dead, doesn’t help Øystein’s case one bit. He was a sack of shit.

Varg is also a sack of shit. His TikToks are enough proof of that, (ashamed to be related to him but whatever.)

If I see one more fuckin “Varg x Øystein” one shot I’m going to lose my shit. It’s disgusting. As I mentioned before I am very distantly related to him, I don’t need to be seeing fics about my murderous family member and his victim floating around. Ugh I can’t believe I had to post this.

Edit;; I hate having to clarify lords of chaos isn’t really that weird to write about since it’s so far from the truth. Granted, I won’t write for LOC Varg, but I’ll gladly write for Eurory since this blog is mostly for Rory Culkin.

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Writing for the actual Øystein Aarseth is fuckin weird. Same with Pelle and Varg.

For starters, Pelle needed psychological help. Øystein used this as a gain for his band. Even though several people who knew Pelle personally and said he was never depressed, he just believed he was meant to be dead, doesn’t help Øystein’s case one bit. He was a sack of shit.

Varg is also a sack of shit. His TikToks are enough proof of that, (ashamed to be related to him but whatever.)

If I see one more fuckin “Varg x Øystein” one shot I’m going to lose my shit. It’s disgusting. As I mentioned before I am very distantly related to him, I don’t need to be seeing fics about my murderous family member and his victim floating around. Ugh I can’t believe I had to post this.

Edit;; I hate having to clarify lords of chaos isn’t really that weird to write about since it’s so far from the truth. Granted, I won’t write for LOC Varg, but I’ll gladly write for Eurory since this blog is mostly for Rory Culkin.

#varg vikernes #øystein aarseth #pelle ohlin #mayhem band #burzum #stop shipping them #it’s nasty #would you like to see fics of your cousin on this website? #shipping real people is so icky. #important psa

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“Oh Øystein- Please! I can’t take it anymore!!” bro would revel in this. he’d prolly make you call him sir.

I feel like Charlie’s a virgin. he’d be all red-faced and his lips would be all over you whilst he praised you.

“Charlie- Hnng-“

“I know, baby. You feel so good, my sweet (girl/boy)..”

sighs. time to go on janitor.ai.

currently thinking abt which rory characters have the most moanable names. (thanks to @greenxgloss)

#sighs loudly #charlie walker x reader #r!euronymous x reader #lords of chaos #scream 4 #i ❤️ rory culkin #rory culkin #rory culkin smut

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#eurory #r!euronymous #daddy dom eurory #kappa black mirror #rory culkin kappa #black mirror 6 #mind boggling smut #he’s so daddy #i ❤️ rory culkin #rory culkin #rory culkin smut