thrani

[thrani]

DONT IGNORE ASSUMING ITS A SIMPLE POST. I AM FEELING ALONE SO I EXPRESSED IT HERE,KINDLY READ IT.

I think that two people are linked at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, who you are, or where you reside; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are meant to be together. Having gone through a long one-sided relationship, I never call it a relationship to start with as it was always one-sided, but the man I was with always gave me a vibe that he is into it.

Being a small-town girl stepped into a City, with eyes full of dreams to pursue the career of my interest. I was brought up with a mindset purely dedicated and devoting my hours to studying, and progressing each day. I am someone who used to think relationships are waste of time and worthless, they include a lot of fights, ego clashes, and Cryings cause that's how I saw my friends in toxic relationships. I made up my mind to never enter into a relationship once I step into Med school. I cleared my medical entrance and got into one of the very best Med schools in my country.

That came as a sudden hit but gradually we started talking more and more and our conversations over call lasted for 5-6 hours, eventually, I started gifting him whatever he asks for, and in 3 months the worth of the gift reached whooping USD$3500. I never regretted the amount I spent on him, but he is embarrassed to be with me in public, he gives a statement that I am not like all boys to be clingy when others are watching, he maintains that distance, he never texts me, I have to crave for his time, he kisses me or used to become physical with me, shower love up on me whenever I give him a gift!! We drifted apart for our internship in our final year of medicine that was when I realized that he was using me cause he never called me, I have to call him, but he never texts me, I have to be the first person to text him, he never misses me, I am the one who says I love you he simply smiles at it and never replies back. After 4 years of dilemma, I got clarity he was never connected to me, the reason why it took 4 years cause he used to say he loves me and he got connected to me but he can't take a relationship, he doesn't want a relationship and he used to flirt with other girls give attention to them, text them, it felt humiliating. I used to crave and long for his attention, and time, I made my entire world like him, and never gave attention to friends, I was solely lost in his thoughts, loving him and being obsessed with him. It's taking me so much courage to come out, even now I look at notifications on my mobile craving for him, I didn't speak to him about this I didn't say him I want to move away from him even now I am getting fooled by him, cause I got addicted to him.

There is an existence outside of a bond. And, unfortunately, that is the reality we take for granted. We devote almost all of our efforts to mending our love lives, nurturing, preserving, and hoping for them. And in the process, we disregard what is deeply intimate to us, our own lives. And this isn't just true for individuals who are desperate for someone to say yes. It is also true for individuals who are already in a partnership. They are so short-sighted that they cannot see beyond their relationship. What about your own life, personality, job, goals, mental peace, development, happiness, nightmares, and space? Do you ever settle down and reflect? No. I'm not suggesting that compromises and adjustments are terrible in a bond. I applaud you for being so adaptable and caring. My issue is that you did not appreciate that individual in addition to yourself. Why did you stop appreciating yourself? Why have you become so... unrecognizable? Don't you want to be yourself again? Don't you think so? Think.

#relationship #love notes to no one #my love #one sided feelings #one sided love #relationships #dating #situationships #feelings