warmtopsecretfuzzies

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

I am deceased

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

worst part of being a sex-repulsed ace with any sort of libido... is looking up fic-porn... it’s 50/50...

Am I gonna get off rea quick?

of am I gonna cry for the next half hour from shame and horror?

Flip a coin and fiND THE FUCK OUT!

#anxiety/ #masturbation/ #self loathing/ #fuck all #I just wanted to relax to go to sleep #guess fuckin not #sorry if it's badly tagged #I'm sad and drunk and bad at shit

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

Alcohol is the best painkiller because you can take it with alcohol

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

I’msad that I can’t envision a way to save Jeremy Heere

#bmc #I can't help him #cause I AM him #my squip is my southern upbringing #and it's still whispering strong #how do you pull someone else out of a pit that you're sitting beside them in?

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

Be More Chill is fucking me up worse than Dear Evan Hansen did

#deh is sadder #but I sitting here #listening to Jeremy say #calmly and well convinced #that everything about him is terrible #and #um #SAME?!

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

If I had a squip, they would look like me, but not a mess.

#maybe they'd have an 'acceptable' gender #boy or girl #dunno #they'd probably have hair #and clear skin #and a smaller chest #and a 'respectable' job #and fashion sense #and weren't a general piece of trash #I don't trust anybody #not even myself #but nobody is better at convincing me to make bad life choices than me #bmc #squip

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

my skin feels too big and also too small

#solutions? #I have none #my anxiety is gone #well #not gone #i mean obvs #but I am alone in my room #and it is quiet #and not as overwhelming as it was 10 minutes ago #i wish i had epsm salts #my shoulders feel like hell #too tense for too long #scalding hot bath is best I can do tho #*sigh*

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

col

#dyingdyingdyingdying #nbd #it's cool #a few more songs #then you can go to your room #breath #smile #just slightly #listen to the song #laugh at the appropriate times #be calm #and not falling apart

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

SHIT

#almost blogged about an oncoming anxiety attack on my personal blog #my chest feels cold? #I wanna go to my room? #can't #would look weird to my sister #and I have to be okay #outside #that misstep made me feel worse #what if she'd seen it?

[warmtopsecretfuzzies]

I uddenly hate myself and would like to die of a heart-attack real quick

#i don't feel good #nauseous #and shit #so that's fun #go away emotion