whateverthese2havetournament

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Returning Underdog Poll (Women's)

So, the sampling here is much smaller, since the majority of the women in last year's bracket made it all the way to the semifinals.

#whatever these two have tournament #wt2h2024

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Returning Underdog Poll (Men's)

So, more groundwork.

As a general rule, nobody who participated last time will be viable to get submitted again this year. However, I want to give at least one team a second chance at glory.

I'm not gonna tag these with the individual fandoms because don't want this to be a Biggest Fandom competition. I'm putting the poll right in the laps of those still following this blog, and if they want to circulate it, they're welcome to.

#whatever these two have tournament #wt2h2024

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Oh yes and if you're wondering "if there's a mens division and womens division where will you put entries that do not fit neatly into either category" the answer is, uh, it depends!

So i might place them to make the both brackets closer in size, or i might place them to make both brackets divisible by 4. I might even put them in both brackets, if the numbers work out.

[whateverthese2havetournament]

WT2H Tournament

I'm starting preliminary structural planning for this year's run of this o'l thing. Won't start for a good while, but I wanted to ask.

Part of me is worried that, given how last year there were like three F/F pairs and two of them were the finalists, that maybe the inclination of certain users one way or the other when presented with a "yuri or yaoi" choice may have skewed results. So, question is:

#whatever these two have tournament #wt2h2024

[whateverthese2havetournament]

The Results

They said it couldn't be done. Throngs of naysayers insisted that, on Tumblr of all places, there was no way two characters from a Showtime show could tango with the protagonist and antagonist of one of the most influential PC games in human history.

But you came out. You voted. And with over 2,500 ballots cast, we can definitively say that a human and an evil AI serving as prisons for one another at the end of the world, setting aside their differences to take down a greater enemy, parting without any honest reconciliation, and composing three beautifully rendered break-up ballads (and a fourth that was cut, as I learned from hosting) just can't stand up to inherent homoromanticism of killing your best friend by inaction, marrying her boyfriend, and then desecrating her grave in a fugue state and eating her ear. Or maybe that wasn't really her body, and whole team ate her body together the morning immediately after she died decades ago? I've gotten conflicting accounts. Is there, like, Ocarina of Time branching in this show?

...Where was I? Right, right.

The champions of the 2023 Whatever These Two Have Tournament are Shauna and Jackie from Yellowjackets! Nobody out there could do it gayer then them. Except, perhaps, by actually being romantically or sexually attracted to someone of the same gender.

But even then, it'll be close.

Thanks to everybody for participating in this endeavor, and I'm already looking forward to next year! :)

#whatever these two have tournament #submissions open from now to next summer

[whateverthese2havetournament]

i am definitely not policing what fan theories people choose to believe, and i'm certainly not endorsing one finalist over the other

but "legit breadcrumbs" is exceptionally misleading

#felt ethically obliged to say something #so we dont have a 'arent team rocket siblings' incident again

[whateverthese2havetournament]

this has been such a delight that i've already decided i'm going to run it again next year! so if there's anyone you think should have been on the roster this time around and you're mad about it, my ears are always open. or at least theyre open for eleven months

[whateverthese2havetournament]

The Finals

Shauna Sadecki née Shipman and Jackie Taylor (Yellowjackets)

VS

Chell and Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System (Portal)

You all get the picture by now, I imagine.

#whatever these two have tournament #chell #glados #portal #jackie yellowjackets #shauna yellowjackets #yellowjackets #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki

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Well, folks. If there's two things tumblr loves in a relationship, its woman and toxicity, and our two finalists truly exemplify this.

Before we head into the finals, I'd like to take a moment to reflect on some of the highlights of the tournament thus far.

Biggest Buzz: Perryschmirtz VS PateCrate, with almost 1,250 votes. Truly a tonesetter for the entire event.

Slimmest Margin: Cid and Nero, who lost by negative one vote, due to a technicality. And it was against Hannigram. Bravo.

Widest Margin: Fitz and the Fool VS Sam and Frodo, by over 75% of the vote. Sorry, book fans. Seeding is a harsh mistress.

Highest-placing Men: House and Wilson. This category was originally going to be highest-placing women but life's full of surprises.

Biggest Upset (Host's Opinion): Jessie and James. No disrespect to the Newsies fandom but you were absolutely delusional.

I'd also like to just thank everyone for participating in whatever capacity you have. my biggest worry when getting this going was none of my polls breaking 100 votes.

Anyway I'm really busy with other things this weekend, so expect Yellowjackets Vs. Portal Yuro next Monday.

#whatever these two have tournament

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Semifinals, Match 2

Hikaru "Cure Star" Hoshina and Lala "Cure Milky" Hagoromo (Star Twinkle Pretty Cure)

VS

Chell and Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System (Portal)

The Gist:

Two magical girls who are best friends. The latter is actually an alien, and it's Hikaru who introduces her to many Earth concepts and assures her she can be a real magical girl just as well as any human. The series finale takes place after a large timeskip, and Hikaru became an astronaut specifically so she could reunite with Lala in space, who had been wishing for the same thing on her home planet. Also, depending on your interpretations of certain events, it could be said that they sort of had a child together. In a field of lillies.

A mute human test subject and the malevolent AI running the facility in which she's trapped. GLaDOS spends one and a half games trying to kill her, gaslight her, and belittle her. After the Act 3 twist in Portal 2, they have to work together to stop a greater danger, and GLaDOS silently realizes how much she needs Chell, and simultaneously how they cannot coexist. She has composed three break-up songs about their relationship. Arguably more.

Remember: we're not asking who is more romantically involved, or who you ship harder. These teams are here under the premise that they are not romantically or sexually involved, but the relationship they DO have is so much more than that. Thus the question is...

#whatever these two have tournament #glados #chell #portal #star twinkle precure #lala hagoromo #hikaru hoshina #the first yuri vs yuri of the tournament

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Semifinals, Match 1

Dr. Gregory House and Dr. James Wilson (House MD)

VS

Shauna Sadecki née Shipman and Jackie Taylor (Yellowjackets)

The Gist (spoilers for both shows):

Described by some as 'JohnLock for people with nothing wrong with them'. An obnoxious, anti-social jackass who is tragically a prodigy of medicine, and the one doctor in the world willing to overlook all that and treat him with an ounce compassion, House included. House's therapist once diagnose that he had to keep living with Wilson for his mental health. When Wilson is dying of cancer, House fakes his own death so he can be with him in his last months without the distraction of his medical practice.

Two members of the same soccer team in high school. A plane ride meant to take them to nationals tragically crashed, and the team had to survive in the woods for months, during which the once strong friendship between Shauna and Jackie is tested. Jackie calls Shauna hot suspiciously often, and eventually freezes to death due to petty drama. Most of the series takes place 25 years after all this, wherein Shauna is extremely, viscerally not over it yet. Visions are argued with. Graves are defiled. Flesh is consumed. Marriages are destroyed from within. It's grisly and also beautiful.

Remember: we're not asking who is more romantically involved, or who you ship harder. These teams are here under the premise that they are not romantically or sexually involved, but the relationship they DO have is so much more than that. Thus the question is...

#whatever these two have tournament #house md #gregory house #james wilson #yellowjackets #shauna yellowjackets #jackie taylor #jackie yellowjackets #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Round 3 Results

Mondo and Kiyotaka have been found guilty and punished. Sam and Frodo have been cast into the fires in which they were forged. As friends, Chrom and Robin were... replaceable. And Octavius and Jedidaih were left outside at sunrise and fuckin died.

Four remain. Let's zoom in a little, shall we?

You know, I have to say. When the tournament started, only... (does some math involving Jessie and The Fool) 14.8% (with a .8 margin of error) of the initial roster was women. Now they are the majority.

We've already said goodbye to so many heavy-hitters, but it's not done until but one remains. TV show against TV show, yuri against yuri. The semifinals are upon us.

#whatever these two have tournament

[whateverthese2havetournament]

this has been such a delight that i've already decided i'm going to run it again next year! so if there's anyone you think should have been on the roster this time around and you're mad about it, my ears are always open. or at least theyre open for eleven months

#whatever these two have tournament

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Round 3, Match 4

Chell and Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System (Portal)

VS

Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)

The Gist:

A mute human test subject and the malevolent AI running the facility in which she's trapped. GLaDOS spends one and a half games trying to kill her, gaslight her, and belittle her. After the Act 3 twist in Portal 2, they have to work together to stop a greater danger, and GLaDOS silently realizes how much she needs Chell, and simultaneously how they cannot coexist. She has composed three break-up songs about their relationship. Arguably more.

Two halflings in the Fellowship of the Ring. I'm not accurately going to summarize three books in a single paragraph, but Sam acts as friend, confidant, and loyal manservant, carrying Frodo onward when the weight of his journey became too much, both literally and figuratively. Their bond is stronger than an evil artifact's mind-altering curse. If Sam didn't have a wife, it could be argued that that this is just canon. Some fans still do anyway.

#whatever these two have tournament #chell #glados #portal #lord of the rings #samwise gamgee #frodo baggins

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Round 3, Match 3

Hikaru "Cure Star" Hoshina and Lala "Cure Milky" Hagoromo (Star Twinkle Pretty Cure)

VS

Robin (Male) and Chrom (Fire Emblem Awakening)

The Gist:

Two magical girls who are best friends. The latter is actually an alien, and it's Hikaru who introduces her to many Earth concepts and assures her she can be a real magical girl just as well as any human. The series finale takes place after a large timeskip, and Hikaru became an astronaut specifically so she could reunite with Lala in space, who had been wishing for the same thing on her home planet. Also, depending on your interpretations of certain events, it could be said that they sort of had a child together. In a field of lillies.

A player character insert with a mysterious past and a knack for military strategy, and the crown prince of the Halidom of Yllise. The bond they share with each other is strong enough that it literally conquered destiny, and Robin is constantly referred to as "Chrom's other half" and his "closest companion" in spinoff material. Pictured above is their Valentine's Day alt in a gacha game (as one unit). They are also DLC in Engage (they share an emblem ring). But also, Chrom has a wife that he sired an offspring with, she just... isn't as important.

#whatever these two have tournament #star twinkle precure #precure #lala hagoromo #hikaru hoshina #fire emblem awakening #fire emblem #robin fire emblem #chrom

[whateverthese2havetournament]

i know there's a lot more to say about shauna and jackie but i didn't want to talk anyone's ear off

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Round 3, Match 2

Jedediah and Octavius (Night at the Museum)

VS

Shauna Sadecki née Shipman and Jackie Taylor (Yellowjackets)

The Gist:

Two random miniatures from two adjacent historical battle exhibits that happened to be facing each other. As they continually face threats bigger than their perceived squabble, they go from enemies to rivals to inseparable friends. Their relationship is so strong, and their no homo jokes ("I wish i could quit you," says the cowboy) are just frequent enough, that the Night at the Museum wiki wages a constant edit war over whether they are literally boyfriends or not.

Two members of the same soccer team in high school. A plane ride meant to take them to nationals tragically crashed, and the team had to survive in the woods for months, during which the once strong friendship between Shauna and Jackie is tested. Jackie calls Shauna hot suspiciously often, and eventually freezes to death due to petty drama. Most of the series takes place 25 years after all this, wherein Shauna is extremely, viscerally not over it yet. Visions are argued with, it's a whole thing.

#whatever these two have tournament #apologies to the yellowjacket fandom they have so much going on its hard to condense accurately #night at the museum #jedidiah #octavius #yellowjackets #shauna yellowjackets #jackie taylor