whenmidnightstrikess

[whenmidnightstrikess]

#my truth #my feelings #my heart

[whenmidnightstrikess]

When someone changes your life, you just don't turn your back on them...

#my feelings #my truth #my heart #fyp

[whenmidnightstrikess]

March 9th, 2024

I am lying in my room, listening to depressing music, like Eternal Sunshine and Midnights (3 a.m. Edition). I just got home from a baby shower. There are things that I feel and think I can't just keep contained. I need to let them out. This is my only outlet. It was my only way to express myself, even though no one would ever see it. I don't think you will see this either. Even after everything, I still have feelings for you that haven't disappeared. Time hasn't taken them from me. I see you, but my heart still skips a beat. I see you, and my face lights up. I just want to continue to look at you and stare at your beautiful face that lights up the room. I want to be the person that makes you feel comfortable and smiles. The thing is, I don't even know if I am that person anymore. I don't know how you feel or what you think. There are times when I feel you cold, and there are times when I feel your warmth. While I was sitting there with your family, the lyrics to "The Story of Us" popped into my head when she said, "Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room, and we aren't speaking, and I am dying to know if it is killing you like it's killing me..." also when she says, "I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how..." I sit in my room and think to myself about the what ifs, the stuff I want to tell you, but again, I need to figure out your mindset and even if you feel the same. Maybe I am just a stupid fool still in love with the person I see as my person. The person that I haven't stopped caring, loving, and worrying about since I called it quits. I was hurt. My emotions were hurt, but I have moved on, accepted and forgiven for everything. It has helped me. I am not sure if you have forgiven yourself. Sadly, I don't see myself ever falling in love with anyone again; people might think I am just thinking that now, but honestly, I have accepted it, which is the reality. I can't love someone else, and I don't want to love someone else. I miss you. I care for you. My heart hasn't changed, but the question is, has yours changed? Have you moved on? I may never know, you have always been hard to read and get you to open up. Time will tell what happens but my feelings for you haven't changed and I want you to know that. I don't care what anyone thinks or says, I still care and love you.

I just want you to know that.

Goodnight....

#my feelings #my truth #midnights #my heart

[whenmidnightstrikess]

am i allowed to cry?

#my feelings #my truth #taylor swift #my heart #the tortured poets department

[whenmidnightstrikess]

My mistake, I didn't know to be in love You had to fight to have the upper hand I had so many dreams about you and me

#my feelings #my truth #taylor swift #fearless #white horse

[whenmidnightstrikess]

So I wander through these nights I prefer hiding in plain sight My fourth drink in my hand These desperate prayers of a cursed man Spilling out to you for free But darling, darling, please

#my feelings #my truth #taylor swift #midnights #dear reader

[whenmidnightstrikess]

I don't regret a thing. every word I said, you know I'll always mean. it is the world to me, that you are in my life...

#my feelings #my truth #midnights #my heart #adele

[whenmidnightstrikess]

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again But I just miss you and I just wish you were here next to me like it was.

#my feelings #my truth #taylor swift #better man #red album

[whenmidnightstrikess]

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky..

#my feelings #my truth #taylor swift

[whenmidnightstrikess]

i love you.

aint that the worst thing you ever heard?

#my feelings #my truth #taylor swift #lover

[whenmidnightstrikess]

this song and performance hits home every time.

#my feelings #my truth #taylor swift #tolerate it #the eras tour #Youtube

[whenmidnightstrikess]

I just saw of photo of us two when we were matching unexpected at the fair. I started to tear up. I was so happy then. I wish I can find that me again. I have lost him. I have lost me. It makes me so happy to see us together happy. Its sad. Heartbreaking. If I can turn back time..

#my truth #my feelings #my heart

[whenmidnightstrikess]

me every night.....

#my feelings #my truth

[whenmidnightstrikess]

I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings...

#white horse #fearless #taylor swift #my feelings #my truth #my heart

[whenmidnightstrikess]

Hope you know you'll always have a place to call your home. Still I can't help but think I could have saved you from drowning...

#cheryl cole #the flood #my feelings #my truth

[whenmidnightstrikess]

its been a while

I have gone MIA and haven't posted on here and expressed my feelings via what my heart and mind thinks, or what songs are what I am feeling at the moment.

Currently, like has been, how do I describe it as nothing great but not bad. I recently had heart surgery or heart ablation whichever it is called. I was scared and sad that I didn't have someone there that I loved or care by my side. There was times where I felt that I wouldn't make it and that was my fear. Yes I was speaking to my ex and there was times where I wish he was there but again we aren't together. The toughest part is not knowing his feelings or where he lies. Even until now that is the hardest thing, I can't read him as well as previously but I do feel happy knowing how much he is improving and coming along way of getting his life together and sober as well.

Anyway, life is fucking hard. I am taking it day by day. One step at a time.

only thing I can do...

#my feelings #my truth #my heart

[whenmidnightstrikess]

Why..

why is love hard?

why is letting go of the person you love for their own growth and benefit difficult when you want them back in your life.

like why. i love you. i miss you. do you miss me?

#my feelings #my truth #my heart