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Richie absolutely said 'yowza!' after the first time he and Eddie kissed.
Then he adjusted his glasses like they'd been knocked askew by the heat and passion of the kiss.
Eddie thought it was charming.
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Richie absolutely said 'yowza!' after the first time he and Eddie kissed.
Then he adjusted his glasses like they'd been knocked askew by the heat and passion of the kiss.
Eddie thought it was charming.
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Richie and Eddie jerking off together to some shitty softcore porn Richie lifted from the local video store.
Eddie is so nervous, grinding up against the palm of his hand, his eyes wandering from the screen to look at Richie and Richie's cock then darting away quickly because he's scared Richie will catch him.
The video isn't doing it for him, but Richie certainly is.
They have the volume down low even though Went and Maggie are out. The loudest sound to Eddie's ears are the frantic beating of his own heart and the soft grunts Richie makes, accompanied by the wet 'slap, slap' of Richie's hand tugging on his dick.
Eddie is so in his own head he hardly registers how close Richie's got until Richie huffs out a laugh and his breath hits Eddie's ear, making him shiver.
"Eds, you're never gonna come like that. Don't you know how to jerk it?"
Eddie opens his mouth to stammer out that he does, he's just nervous and the woman on the tape is clearly faking it and he normally does this in the bath because he can use soap as lubricant and clean up afterwards when Richie reaches down, bats his hand out the way and takes hold of his cock.
It's over embarrassingly fast after that.
Eddie ruts up into Richie's hand, squeezing his eyes shut and comes everywhere.
Richie laughs again, warm and pleased, while Eddie blushes.
He expects Richie to say something, to make a joke at his expense but all Richie says is "You're not gonna offer to help out your friend? Mighty unsporting of you, old chap," slipping into his British accent.
Eddie's hand is shaky as he wraps his fingers around Richie's dick. It feels solid and warm in his hand, thicker and longer than Eddie's own. He strokes him slowly, unsurely, looking up at Richie through lowered lashes to check he isn't hurting him somehow.
Richie looks flushed, like he has a fever coming on, but he never shuts up for long and pretty soon he's running his mouth, telling Eddie how to touch him, telling him to speed up or to twist his wrist a little when he moves, to try rubbing the head with his thumb.
His mouth runs away with him - like it always does - and he starts babbling about how good Eddie looks, how pretty he is, how nice and soft his hand feels and Eddie throbs with how much he wants those words to be real and not just Richie's sex fried motor-mouth in overdrive.
"I'm gonna come," Richie yelps, throwing an arm around Eddie's shoulder and hauling him so Eddie is very near to in his lap and then he does come, right on Eddie's t-shirt and Eddie opens his mouth to tell Richie how disgusting that is but then Richie kisses him.
The film is over in the background. It stopped a long time ago and neither of them noticed. They kiss and kiss and don't stop until they hear the front door open downstairs and Maggie shouts up that she and Went are back and brought pizza.
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The idea/trope of like a Reddie confession where like Richie eventually shows Eddie the R+E on the Kissing Bridge and when the confession goes well, Eddie being like "well fuck I can't compete in the romantic gesture department shit" and Richie being like "hell yeah I win romance screw you" is so funny to me I unironically love it so much cause he's right, he's won romance
And I'm sure at some point Ben will go "well the point isn't to 'win' at romance, its to show how you feel for the other" but much like Richie would say, "nope nope nope shut up Mr 'My Heart Burns There Too', I fucking won the romance contest against Eddie, the ball is now in his court to take back the crown"
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Thinking about an AU were Eddie doesn't realise he's dead and he keeps trying to call Richie in California.
He gets upset when Richie doesn't answer him, thinking Richie is ignoring him because Eddie went back to New York.
Eddie's life is so boring and he's such a non entity in it that even dead he can just slot back in and think everything is normal.
Myra is angry and crying? Normal. They gave his office to that jerk Ted? Fine, he'll hot desk.
He assumes all the other Losers are ignoring him too when they don't reply to his texts.
Honestly, Eddie's not going to realise he's dead until he sees a message about a meet up in the Losers group chat and he ends up attending his own memorial.
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Richie is big into Columbo and he has a Columbo impression lined up anytime they're trying to solve anything as a group
Does that mean I feel the IT movies would've been more accurate/better had anytime something they were trying to figure out been punctuated with Richie trying to sound like Columbo? Yes I do
Do I think he does this with every fun sounding detective from a piece of media he likes? Also yes
Does this mean he's got a Sherlock, Poirot, Columbo and after Knives Out, Benoit Blanc lined up- OBVIOUSLY THE ANSWER IS YES
Do I think once he gets better at impressions that Eddie is big fan of them despite refusing to admit it- WHO DO YOU THINK I AM OF COURSE I DO!!!!
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Sex in the City is very blah, but honestly, I keep thinking about Eddie as Charlotte. Prudish, a little repressed, looking to get married because it's a goal and he has a neat little check list of things he wants to achieve by the time he's forty and marriage is on there.
He isn't honestly thinking about who he'll marry. That doesn't enter into it. Just someone suitable so Eddie can tick off the little box that says husband on his life goals path.
He meets Myra, who is a doctor, and ignores all the red flags because she fits the template.
She has a good job, she likes his mother, she also wants to wait until marriage to have sex, she eagerly writes prescriptions for any of Eddie's imagined ills.
After their second date, she tells Eddie she wants to get married and Eddie agrees because that's his end goal too.
They marry after six months. It's a huge, spectacular church affair.
The comes the honeymoon.
Eddie ends up hyperventilating into a paper bag, unable to perform.
Myra writes him a prescription for Viagra but Eddie doesn't take them.
He thought that marriage would fix him.
Myra becomes more controlling, prescribing more powerful drugs for Eddie's nerves, and Eddie becomes more withdrawn. He really believed that if he could get married, his life would suddenly make sense. He thought he'd feel right for once.
It takes an intervention by his best friend, award winning sex columnist Bill Denbrough, for Eddie to see how toxic his marriage is and to start to understand that he's gay.
He leaves Myra and hires a divorce lawyer recommended to him by his other friend, Stanley Uris.
Richie Tozier is not someone Eddie would have hired without a personal recommendation. Stan works with Richie and rates him highly as a lawyer.
Richie doesn't make a great first impression on Eddie. He's loud, nervously obnoxious, his hands are sweaty when they shake.
Then he gets into a courtroom and completely demolishes Myra and her collection of lawyers.
Eddie realizes, with a small amount of horror, that he is attracted to Richie. To all of him - sweaty, strange, obnoxious, funny, smart. Eddie really likes him.
As a treat to himself once the divorce is finalised, he sleeps with Richie (the first man he's ever been with) who admits his hands were so sweaty that first time they met because Eddie is gorgeous and pretty much Richie's ideal man.
Eddie thinks it will just be a fling.
They are now married with two children and a dog.
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I think a lot of people spent their childhoods being very deliberately forced out of their comfort zones by parents / teachers / whomever in a way that was just deeply unpleasant and degrading and so, when they reach young adulthood and are finally allowed real control over their lives, become set on only doing things they know they're comfortable with forever. that's a really important thing to be able to do, especially if you're so used to having your boundaries routinely ignored that you aren't even certain what you like vs what you can bear, so I absolutely see why a person would have a negative reaction to being told that discomfort is good: it can very easily sound like being told that all that work they've been doing to prioritze their needs for the first time ever is Bad and Selfish, actually. and to that I will say two things:
one: as long as you aren't hurting or, like, being a dick to anyone, just staying in your comfort zone isn't an immoral action. if you just want to read one type of book (or just fanfiction), or just eat one type of food, or just watch one type of movie, or not go to new types of social events, you aren't being a bad person for that, and if people say that, they are soundly wrong and just trying to get a self-righteousness kick.
two: trying new things because you want to expand yourself feels a hell of a lot different than trying new things because you're being forced to. you'll feel better about trying new foods if you know you have a back up familiar one in case you can't stomach the new one, it's easier to read new books if you can experiment with audio versions or reading it in little five-page chunks by yourself, you can breathe a lot easier going somewhere new if you aren't chained there for three hours because your parent is your ride home, etc.
tl;dr: new things are good. I get why you might not want to try new things, and that's fine, but it's also more comfortable to try new things as an adult with your own agency so, yeah, what have you got to lose by trying a weird old art film?
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Eddie Kaspbrak and the absolutely atrocious men he dates before he realizes he loves Richie:
That one guy who was using him for a free food and a place to charge his phone.
The guy who used 'ironic' slurs.
The guy who hit on all his friends when Eddie wasn't in the room.
The guy who hit on all his friends in front of Eddie.
The guy who lovebombed him and who Eddie thought was perfect up until he started pressuring Eddie to drop his friends and move to the middle-of-nowhere Wyoming with him.
The guy who screamed at Eddie about the proper way to organize a sock draw on their second date. Eddie still went on a third date with him.
The guy who wanted to use Eddie's Derry trauma and famous friends as the basis of his true crime podcast.
The guy who told Eddie he should forgive his mother because she loved him and did her best and it wasn't like Eddie could have been an easy kid given he was such a brat now.
The guy who was weirdly obsessed with Henry Bowers - child serial killer - and liked to sniff Eddie's hair and talk about how Eddie escaped. Bill still maintains that guy is a serial killer in waiting and should be on a watch list.
The guy who used Eddie's email contacts list to try and sell his MLM scheme. Yes, Eddie did join. He's still trying to disentangle himself. The emails keep coming even though he unsubscribed and the vitamins did nothing and were basically sugar!
The guy who, when Eddie introduced him to his friends, tried to fight Richie in the parking lot of the restaurant they all met at. Apparently Eddie talked about Richie too much and the guy was jealous. Yes, Richie headbutted the guy but it was self-defence.
An actual running theme of all of Eddie's boyfriends is they hate Richie. They loathe him. Eddie cannot understand it because Richie is amazing and his best friend. So what if Eddie falls asleep talking to him and then calls him first thing in the morning? They're besties!
Yes, Eddie would choose Richie and hanging out with Richie in a heartbeat over any of them but they're all terrible so it doesn't really mean anything, right? He just loves Richie so much and he just got him back and he wants to spend all the time with Richie that he can!
Eddie is fully "That guy who doesn't know he's in love with his best friend" for a lot of nice, normal men who never went on a second date with him because they knew that wasn't ending in their favour.
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Dumb thought: Eddie coming out and dating some twenty-something who called him 'Daddy' on grindr because that's what he thinks gay men his age are supposed to do.
He missed his chance to be a cute twink. He's past the cut off age. He has to suffer.
Eddie, not enjoying himself: I thought coming out was supposed to be liberating. Sky says I can't drink cocktails because it's not manly and he wants a manly Daddy.
Richie, sticking a little umbrella in his beer: Fuck Sky.
Eddie: I don't want to!
-
Eddie, unable to perform with his twinky boyfriend: Maybe I have erectile disfunction? Maybe Myra was right and I'm lying to myself about being gay? What if this was all a midlife crisis?
Eddie, thinking about Richie's big hands and broad shoulders: I am so fucking gay.
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Eddie goes on a date to a nice restaurant. Midway through the meal, the guy he's on the date with points out that there in a ridiculously tall guy watching them intensely from the bar.
Eddie is too embarrassed to explain that it's Richie and that Eddie begged him to come just in case the date turned out to be a serial killer or very dull and Eddie needed an out.
But now Eddie is looking at Richie, he can't look away.
Eddie apologises to his date, ending things abruptly and goes to join Richie at the bar.
"I realized I was on a date with the wrong guy," he says when Richie asks him what went wrong.
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Going through the reddie tag I noticed several text posts I really loved and figured I'd go and follow the author. And then I realized. Fairychangeling! It's you again! The Reddie Master, who nails Muschetti verse, miniseries verse and book verse all the way. I'm MyAmazingLovelyKitchenSinkDrama on AO3 and I'm extremely grateful for every crump of reddie content you're throwing our way. I don't have words for the happiness your writing brings for me
Thank you so much.
This was so lovely to read and it gave me such a warm glow. I'm so happy you like my writing and I recognise your name from A03! Thank you again!
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“I hope you made enough, it appears that our second son will be staying for dinner again tonight.”
Maggie frowned down at the meatloaf and then at the bowl of about-to-be mashed potatoes next to it. “This should be plenty, assuming Richie actually remembers to breathe in between bites.” Went chuckled as she sighed. “Though maybe I’ll add a few more potatoes just to be safe.” She bit her lip, and continued after a short beat, in a hush, “This is the fourth night in the last two weeks that Eddie has been over here for dinner, Went.”
Wentworth shrugged, leaning against the counter. “Your meatloaf is just that good, Mags. Kid needs another fix.”
“I’m serious,” Maggie huffed, her hands on her hips. “I don’t think Sonia’s feeding him properly. She’s always going on about his made up ‘allergies.’ She makes it sound like she only feeds him boiled chicken and broccoli. He’s a growing boy, he needs sustenance.”
“So he can grow three feet in a month like our son?” Went laughed.
“Maybe!” Maggie cried, defensive. “I worry about him. He’s so small.”
Went smirked. “But scrappy! I saw him kick Rich’s ass just last weekend.”
Maggie frowned and rolled her eyes, returning back to her potatoes. “Still.”
Went smiled at her back fondly, stood up, stretched, and crossed the kitchen to rub her shoulders. “We’ll pack him up a doggy bag, okay? Richie can bring it to school with him tomorrow so Sonia won’t see. How about that?”
“It’s a start,” she said with a pout, spinning on her heels to point the potato masher threateningly in her husband’s face. “But the moment I get wind that Sonia is letting that boy go hungry, he is moving in with us.”
Went laughed, kissing her temple. “Deal. And I doubt you’ll hear any argument from the boys, either.”
Maggie smiled softly and hummed in agreement, pouring a bit of milk into the potatoes.
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Absolutely insane au thoughts I have about Stan & Patty inheriting an old hotel from a distant relative neither of them have ever heard of and deciding they'll check the property out, maybe sell it or do it up.
The hotel is haunted and Stan can see/interact with the ghosts.
Stan is deeply unhappy to see these ghosts who are genuinely more annoying than scary, but who also shouldn't exist. Patty wishes she could see them because Stan makes them sound like real characters and she'd like to get to know them personally rather than via Stan.
The ghosts:
Bill, who died a penniless writer but is delighted to hear his brother Georgie published Bill's works after his death and Bill became celebrated as a misunderstood genius. Death circa: 1850.
Eddie, whose mother smothered him to death one night on their holiday when he told her he'd be moving out of her house on their return home. Died circa 1920.
Mike - a professional sceptic and debunker of fakes and charlatans, who went to investigate the hotel's supposed haunting and disappeared. Died circa 1922.
Now believes all the things he used to disbelieve due to 'waking up' a ghost.
Ben, who fell off the roof he was supposed to be fixing, died circa 1930.
Beverly, who died in a fire. Although Patty cannot see her, she can smell smoke when Bev is around. If Beverly concentrates, she can make a spark between her fingers. Died circa, 1940.
Richie - the most recent of the ghosts. Died circa 1980 at the hotel's grand reopening under the previous owner. A rock star who died mid-blowjob after a cocktail of alcohol and drugs and 'woke up' to find Eddie straddling him, trying to give him mouth to mouth.
Richie is sans trousers which Stan finds infuriating. He just walks around Stan and Patty's new home with no pants on, being annoying and talking about things that happend forty years ago.
Richie has been flirting with Eddie for forty years, but Eddie hasn't realised.
So it's a bit of BBC Ghosts meets The Overlook Hotel meets The Losers Club. Stan and Patty have a cursed hotel that they can't open to the public or sell, and the ghosts are more friendly than frightening.
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