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zaraomarrogers · 1 month

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Thankyou for reading and reblogging 🩷

Yes, Mal is little protective of his mama and it’s going to be a lot of adjustment with Steve so close to her.

Always And Forever - 17

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, mentions of mental health. 18+ content, MINORS DNI

WC: 11,876

A/N: I know its been the longest since I updated. I've been swamped with school, work and life. This chapter is step one in wrapping up this story. please reblog and comment and let me know what you think.

The sun poured through the wall-sized window of Steve’s bedroom, casting an orange glow around the peacefully sleeping parents who were blissfully unaware of their almost four-year old’s presence in the room. Malcolm whooped to see Y/n wrapped in Steve’s arms and let out a squeal when he realized that his mama was here with him at his daddy’s house. He jumped on the bed and tried to fit himself in between his parents but much to his disappointment there wasn’t any space for him.

“Daddy wakey… move…” he nudged at Steve’s side, “wakey time, daddy. I wana hug mama.”

Steve groaned and pressed Y/n further into him, “Go back to sleep, buddy. It’s too early.” He mumbled sleepily.

“Mama… wakey… daddy’s not moving. I wan’be with you.” Malcolm whined and shook Y/n. He moved to straddle her, slightly kicking Steve in the stomach. Steve hissed in pain and opened one eye to see his son annoyed at his parents. Y/n had already started stirring in her sleep, she encircled Malcolm and laid him on top of her. Kissing his head and cheeks, she felt him smiling and tracing her face with his small finger.

“G’morning Mal-pal.” she said groggily.

“Mama, why you sweeping he’e?” he asked innocently.

“…. Cause I was tired, so I stayed here.” Y/n hesitated for a moment before answering his question.

“Daddy’s mean. He’s not giving me space.” He pouted, making Steve and Y/n giggle.

“Y/n, I think we should stay home today because Mal thinks I’m mean. No more going to Aquarium.” Steve moved up a little to balance the weight on his elbow.

“Daddddyyyyy…. No faiw.” Malcolm whined and looked up to see his mama. jY/n gave him a pressed lip smile.

“Mama, daddy’s be mean again. He no faiw.”

“Mal-pal, daddy’s kidding. And he’s not being mean, he’s just teasing you.”

Malcolm looked at Steve who just laughed and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead.

“I’m sorry bubba, I was just joking.”

“Why sowwy daddy? I’m no mad. I wove you.” Malcolm kissed Steve on the cheek.

“I love you too, bubba, so much.” Steve’s heart was filled with warmth, leaning in he placed a kiss on Malcolm’s head then on Y/n’s forehead and let his lips linger on for a while. Their eyes met once Steve pulled away, and they both smiled. Y/n gently caressed the side of his face, scratching his stubble. Malcolm witnessed the affectionate moment between his parents and decided to get his mama’s attention back on him. He kissed her on the chin and then on the nose.

“Why daddy kiss you, mama?” Steve let out a laugh and started to get up from the bed.

“Can’t believe my own child would be jealous of me.” He muttered, kissing Y/n again on the forehead and made his way to the bathroom.

“It’s okay, Mal, daddy can kiss mama.” She answered him muttering the latter part, then immediately redirecting his attention. “Did you go to pee when you wake up?”

“No mama. Not feewing pee.”

“Sweetheart, you gotta try. C’mon, let’s go brush your teeth and sit on the potty.”

“Mama, noooo.”

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon… I’ll make us breakfast then we get ready…” she held him in her arms and walked to the bathroom that was in hallway.

Fifteen minutes later, Malcolm and Y/n emerged from the bathroom, with a huge scowl on the little boy’s face and a victory smirk on his mama’s. A freshly showered Steve joined them in Malcolm’s room, laughing at the scene in front of him. Malcolm was only in his spiderman underwear, his small arms were folded on his chest and the look of grimace on his beautiful chubby face.

“C’mon Mal pal, you need to put your clothes on…” Y/n said exasperatedly.

“No mama, I don’t wana weaw this one.” He pointed at the blue Paw Petrol T-shirt. “I want my gween shirt.” He was still in the far-right corner of the room.

“But you didn’t pack the Dino shirt, baby. I showed you all the clothes before putting them in your backpack.”

Malcolm just huffed and ran to Y/n, wrapping himself on her leg. She bent down to his level, engulfing him in a comforting hug. “It’s okay if you don’t want to put this shirt on, you wana see the other shirts we packed?”

Malcolm nodded slightly, moving his head to show his watery eyes to Y/n, “I know you’re upset honey, but don’t worry we’ll find you other favorite shirt.” She smiled, kissing the top of his head. As she started to get up, Malcolm’s hold on her tightened, “don’t go mama, daddy pwease bwing my backpack.”

Steve, who was still there, entertained with his son’s antics, obliged immediately and brought the backpack over to Y/n where she was now sitting on the shag rug.

“Thanks daddy.”

“You’re welcome, bubba. Do you want me to start prepping breakfast? Scrambled eggs and bacon?” Steve asked Y/n.

“Sure, we’ll do eggs.” She smiled. Steve ruffled Mal’s hair and made his way to the kitchen. Breakfast was not very eventful; Malcolm was back to his happy and chirpy self on the table. Mostly, he was excited to visit the Aquarium with his parents and delighted to eat his favorite breakfast made by his dad. They made a brief trip to Y/n’s house for her to get changed into something comfortable. She was still in Steve’s clothes, her outfit from the other night was way too formal for the day out.

Alice gave her an amused look when she opened the door for them and saw Y/n, she didn’t say anything, but her smile followed by a wink was pretty much telling. Y/n quickly changed into comfy jeans and a top and joined Steve and Malcolm in the living room where Malcolm was animatedly telling his Nono and Nana about his trip. Steve and Y/n decided on not bringing up the Eleanor topic to anyone yet. Though, he told her about having a conversation with his lawyer Natasha during the car ride to her house.

The Boston Aquarium trip was fun and memorable for them. Malcolm enjoyed it there greatly, and his parents got a moment to breathe and unwind. Y/n was still frazzled but Steve’s gentle squeezes and his continuous reassuring I’m here, I won’t let anything happen to Mal kept her from going off the deep end. Steve knew she was holding up on her fear and distress and he was doing the best he could to keep himself composed and not to go after Eleanor and rip her head off. He was angry, no, he was raging inside. Malcolm’s elated face was what gave them both a little sense of peace.

“Mama, when we go daddy’s house next?” Malcolm asked, snuggled up in Y/n as she was putting him to sleep.

“Whenever you want…”

“Ummmmm mowow’ …”

“You’re going to be there tomorrow, remember daddy picks you up after work.” She smiled at her son.

“But I wana don’t come back. You pick up me in the night.”

Y/n chuckled and placed a kiss on Malcolm’s forehead and nose, “You can stay at daddy’s place on the weekend.”

“… but mama I wana stay evewy day. I’ve so much fun with daddy.”

“You don’t enjoy here at Nono’s house?”

“Mmmm, I do but… mowe fun with daddy. Why we not wive with daddy? Mo’gan daddy an’ mommy wive in the same house. She has fun aww the time.”

Y/n looked at her baby’s face longer than she should have; Malcolm’s innocence broke her heart. He deserved to live with both his parents, in a house filled with love and happiness. And Y/n felt she was failing to provide it for her son. With a shaky voice and heavy heart, she gently tightened her grip around Malcolm, kissing all over his face.

“Sweetheart, I promise, we’ll figure something out, but it’s going to take time and I want you to be patient and nice to me and daddy. I promise daddy and I will do everything to give you a home you deserve, my love. We will try our best to be the happiest family for you… just be patient, okay… Daddy and I love you very much.” She kissed his face over and over, trying her best to keep her tears at bay.

“C’mon, close your eyes and start your rest, love. Mama will be here when you wake up.”

“Night night, mama.”

“Night, sweetheart.”

A single tear slid down her eye and absorbed in the pillow as she gently rubbed Malcolm’s back. Within ten minutes, he was out like a light. Y/n placed a light kiss on his cheek and sat up, resting against the bed head.

Steve, you up? She sent a text message to Steve and got his reply immediately.

Yup! Everything good?

Yeah! I think I might be calling in tomorrow. Just wana spend time with Mal. I’m keeping him at home.

And before you bug me with billion questions, I’m perfectly fine… She added in the next text knowing that Steve would worry about her.He sent an eye roll emoji to the latter part of her message.

I’m afraid your presence is important for the meeting tomorrow. I would have done it myself, but you understand the trends better than me and it is also your area of expertise.

Hm! I would do it online…

It’s an in-person meeting. I signed the notification on Friday, requesting everyone to be there.

Fine!

I’m sorry Y/n… but you can take a day off on Tuesday if you want. Remember we’re meeting Nat…

Yeah, I remember. And it’s okay I’ll be there.

Alright! I’ll see you tomorrow.

Yes, you will.

Good night.

Night.

Sleep didn’t come easy to both Steve and Y/n that night. Anticipation of what would happen and how things would go further kept swirling in their minds. Monday came and went in a blur, Y/n was exhausted by the end of the day and so was Steve. Tuesday came by with a lot of anxious nerves and snapping on Y/n’s part. Starting with Malcolm, when he was getting fussy after knowing that Steve wouldn’t be picking him up and he had to come back home with Nana because mama and daddy were working late. As expected, he threw some tantrums during breakfast and instead of calming him down and offering him negotiation like Y/n usually did, she yelled at her little boy. She had him have a full melt down, with sinking heart she put him in the car seat and drove them to the daycare while Malcolm was still cranky. He had another outburst where the teacher had to get him from Y/n’s arms. He wasn’t ready to let go of his mama, but Y/n didn’t stay longer to see him getting comforted by Alice who was called in by his teacher because the little boy wasn’t letting anyone touch him.

With the heaviest of heart, she was trying to focus on the designs spread across the table, but she couldn’t. Steve, Wanda, Pepper, and a few other colleagues who worked closely with her noticed her grumpiness and when Steve finally cornered her, she broke down. She was a sobbing mess in Steve’s arms, “I yelled at him. I hurt my Mal… I’m such a horrible mother. He’s going to hate me… he’d never love me, Steve… I became my mom.”

Steve let her cry in his chest, not once caring about his expensive shirt now stained with tears and mascara. He kept rubbing circles on her back and when he was sure that she was all done venting out, he made her sit on the couch and kneeled in front of her, placing his hands on her knees he made her look at him.

“Hey, you are not your mother! Malcolm is lucky to have you as his mom…”

“Steve, you – “

“I’m not finished yet. I know it is hard and trust me I’m scared too… I’m scared of losing you and Mal. That’s the biggest and only fear I have. And I promise you that I won’t let anything happen to our son.” He squeezed her knee and continued, “Nat is a great lawyer, the best I’ve known. I’m sure she’d come up with best solutions to completely eradicate Eleanor out of our lives.”

Y/n’s breath hitched at the mention of her mother’s name, she didn’t want her in their lives but the thought of cutting down everything from her abuser of a mother still hurt her heart.

“I’m here for you, Y/n. I will always be. Here…” he handed her some Kleenex, “c’mon, we’re gonna grab lunch, pick our boy up and head straight to my house.” He said getting up and walking up to his desk to turn off his computer.

“Wait, I thought we’d meet Natasha here, or some diner may be?”

“Nope, she suggested if we make it look like a personal trip for her.”

“Gosh! Why didn’t you tell me before? I would have saved Mal from a meltdown.”

“Well, Mal is still not part of the meeting but… I don’t care.” He shrugged. “C’mon, it’s already quarter after one, Taco Bell would probably be packed. Would you mind placing the takeout order?”

“Steve, I – I … what’re you doing?”

“What do you mean? You want to order something else?”

“Tch how are you so calm?”

“I’m not Y/n! I’m furious. I’m so fucking done with the mess I’ve created and now the two of you are dragged into it. I can’t wait to put everything out on the table… I know it’s going to get dirty for me and I won’t ask you to keep up with all the ugliness of my life, but I think I’m ready to know what happened four and a half years ago. I’m done drowning in my own guilt… I need answers.”

His beautiful blue eyes were shining with unshed tears, pain and anger clearly reflecting through them. In two strides, she covered the distance between them, and circled her arms around his neck pulling him into a hug.

“I want to be there for you too, Steve. I’m so glad that you’re finally looking for the answers.” She pulled away, and held his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Thank you… thank you for being in our lives. Mal and I are grateful to have you…” She smiled with glossy eyes.

“Don’t thank me… I’ve done nothing… I wish I could protect you and Mal from everything that’s happening… I really wish I could…” A pain-stricken smile spread on his lips.

“Hey, you are doing your best… we’re gonna get through this… together.”

“Together.”

After taking a moment to themselves and shook off some anxiety, they both headed out together. Malcolm was ecstatic to see his parents, he ran straight into Y/n’s arms and stayed there while they talked to his teacher who informed them that he refused to eat both his morning snack and lunch and had been upset following the morning events.

“I’m sorry Mal-pal, I didn’t mean to upset you… it’s just…” She whispered in his ears while he was still clinging to her. Steve was setting out the lunch on the table.

“… it’s just… I’ve been…” She was struggling to explain her behavior to her son so that he would understand. “Would you forgive me… for not being good to you?” She sat him on the kitchen counter and looked into his beautiful blue eyes expectantly.

“I’s okay mama. I fowgive you.” Malcolm gave her a toothy smile that made Y/n cry in front of her son. She was smiling through her tears, placing feathery kisses on Malcolm’s face, whispering I’m sorry and I love you.

“Mama, no cwy. I’m okay. I’m not mad. I wove you too.” Malcolm’s small hands cupped her face, bringing her to his level he blew raspberries on her nose, her cheeks, her lips, and her forehead causing her to burst into giggles. Steve recorded the moment on his phone, with a grin on his face.

In a few minutes, the room was filled with their shared laughter, the tension from earlier had dissipated into thin air like it wasn’t even there to begin with. Steve was cleaning the table when the doorbell rang, he knew it would be Natasha, he hollered over to inform Y/n about Nat’s arrival.

“Who’s Nat?” Malcolm asked, shifting from one foot to another.

“She’s daddy’s friend. You’re gonna see her when we go down. Be nice, okay Mal-pal?” Y/n was gently rubbing his wet hair with the towel.

“Why is she hewe?” he dropped the towel that was wrapped around his small frame.

“Mama and daddy have important work things to discuss with her. You can play in your room while we talk to her.” She put some baby lotion on his face and back.

“But I wana pway with you and daddy.”

“Honey, you can play with us after we have a big people talk.”

Malcolm pouted, “How many minutes she go?”

“In one hour, maybe two. I need you to be my good boy and listen to what I say. You might get an ice cream after dinner…”

He gasped loudly, “Ice cweam? Yayyy yayy…” he started jumping up and down in excitement.

“That’d be after dinner and only if you listen to mama and daddy.” She smiled, getting a hold of her son. She quickly brushed his slightly damp hair.

“Okie doks, mama… you cute.” He started hopping again.

“What? What’d you just say?” Y/n laughed, tickling him in the belly.

Malcolm’s infectious giggles were heard across the house, making Nat raise an eyebrow in Steve’s direction. She had a wide smirk on her face.

“I can see why you were so desperate to stay in Boston…” Natasha said, taking a sip of water from the glass.

Steve was about to give her a reply when Y/n and Malcolm walked down the stairs. Natasha gave Y/n a mesmerized look.

“Hi… I’m Y/n… nice to meet you…” Y/n shyly introduced herself with a small smile adorning her beautiful face, slightly flushed under Natasha’s stare. Natasha gave her a once over, silently praising her for the way she was carrying herself in fitted work clothes. Y/n was in one of the many Wanda’s creations, with barely- there makeup and hair down in light waves, she was looking ethereal. Nat was finding it hard to tear her gaze away from Y/n, she was good in reading faces and people’s vibes and in that moment the only thing she picked on was the fact that Y/n was indeed a loveable person.

“H-hey… so good to finally meet you. You really are so beautiful. Steve had gushed over you non-stop and now I see why he’s been such a hopeless lunatic… you’re gorgeous.” Natasha pulled her in for a hug.

“Thanks… for being so generous… I guess.” Y/n looked between Nat and Steve as she pulled back from the slightly awkward hug.

“Mal-pal, say hi…” she ushered the little boy in front of her who was hiding behind her legs.

“Hi Nat.”

“Aww… is he, are you Malcolm? Your dad talks about you and your mom all the time.”

Y/n looked towards Steve the same time he glanced at her. They smiled, holding each other’s gazes and it didn’t miss Natasha’s eagle eyes.

“My mama’s a’so cute, and daddy’s funny. He pways with me.”

“Aww… I love him already, he’s a mama’s boy.” Nat handed him a shopping bag she brought with her. It had toys for Malcolm.

“Oh, you didn’t have to…”

“Yes, I did… c’mon, it’s just a small present. By the way, he looks so much like you Y/n. Is Y/n okay or should I call you Ms. Carter?”

“Y/n is fine. And Thanks, you’re one of the few who thinks he looks like me.”

“Mamaaa, caws and fire twucks…” Malcolm squealed loudly. He opened the presents and showed them to Y/n and Steve.

“Wow Mal, what do you say when you get presents?”

“Thank you, Nat.,” he shyly said.

“You’re welcome.” Natasha smiled.

“C’mon, go play with your toys, buddy. We’re right here if you need anything.” Steve gently kissed Malcolm’s head.

“He’s just like you.” Nat cooed, seeing Malcolm leave the room.

“Yeah, but he looks a lot like me…” Steve looked between the two women who had wide smirk on their faces.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, Rogers.” Nat raised an eyebrow, earning a chuckle from Y/n.

“You really need to get over yourself, Steve.” Y/n sassed.

“Wow!” Steve rolled his eyes playfully.

“… but seriously guys, you’ve made a beautiful baby. He’s a perfect mix of both of you.” Nat said getting comfortable on the couch. Steve and Y/n shared a sweet smile.

“Thanks Nat.”

“You’re welcome. So... you guys ready for some intense talk? I mean, I don’t want to scare you but Y/n, I hope you’re okay with it because a lot of it involves your mother.”

“Yeah, I’m okay with whatever you have to say.” Y/n nodded.

Nat inhaled deeply, “First things first, I need you guys to be completely honest with whatever you say. This is going to be a sensitive case for us. I ran a background check on Eleanor Rhodes – your mother, I didn’t have to because I already know a piece of shit, she is…” Y/n shifted in her seat, as much as she was trying to keep her face expressionless, the mention of her mother brought discomfort in her demeanor, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Nat.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, but… I know it is difficult for you…”

“It’s okay Natasha, you don’t have to apologize. I know the kind of woman my mother is… but I’m here, aren’t I?”

Gently nodding her head Nat continued, “Steve had kind a filled me in about what happened on the weekend, and I know about your relationship with her as well. Knowing her tactics, I would want you two to fill in the legal documentation for Malcolm’s custody…”

“I have already made the changes in the documents when Steve decided to stay here. He is in Mal’s record as his biological father.” Y/n politely interrupted Nat.

“Now, that’s awesome! Moving forward, I want to ask something? How is your relationship other than being Malcolm’s parents? Since you’re sharing the workspace as well… are you two platonic or there’s some resentment? Y/n, you go first…”

“I think we’re friendly now. It didn’t start off as ideally as it is now. I mean, obviously, I had concerns… I was afraid to let him back in our life but eventually I forgave him… for Malcolm.” She paused, and glanced towards Steve who had his eyes glued on her with a sad smile on his face. “I don’t want Malcolm to grow up not knowing his dad… I’d never seen him happy and cheerful the way Steve’s presence impacted him. I wanted him to experience all the joys of life with his dad, that I hadn’t have with mine.”

“So, you don’t regret your decision of letting Steve part of your life?” Nat knew she had twisted the question a little bit, damn her curiosity of knowing more about her current relationship with Steve.

“No, I never had any regret making Steve part of Mal’s life… for now, I think we’re good.” Y/n was smart enough to understand Nat’s question and replied to her the way that would leave Nat unsatisfied.

“I’m impressed, Y/n.” She smirked, “You’re a one lucky man, Rogers. She’s a beauty with brain.” She threw a wink in Steve’s direction making Y/n furrow her brows.

“Sorry for being nosy but I’ve been fussing him to make a move on you, he’s just been a thick skull for not doing that. I know you’re dating an extremely hot lawyer, and I’m happy for you, but, damn, you and Steve have a solid history and consider me a fan girl, I totally ship you guys together.”

Y/n gave an incredulous look to Nat who shrugged at her sheepishly and earned a glare from Steve.

“I’m not dating Andy anymore.” Y/n cleared her throat looking from Steve’s wide eyes to Nat’s wide smirk. “Saturday night, we both called it off because we thought it was for the best if we stayed friends. I wasn’t ready and he wanted more…”

“You didn’t tell me.” Steve said in a timid voice.

“I would if I wasn’t so shocked over the reunion with my mom.”

“Yeah, yeah… I’m sorry, I – I …”

“It’s okay Steve. There’s nothing to apologize.”

There was an awkward air in the room, Nat was the first one to clear her throat, “So, moving forward, are you two comfortable with co-parenting?”

“What does it mean? We are co-parenting, Nat!” Steve asked.

“What I mean to ask is, that once either of you start seeing someone else, would co-parenting still be the option you choose? Or would you settle down for custody? Because if that’s the case then you must be aware that you will be going to a legal process. My next question is based on what you’re going to say to me.”

Steve glanced at Y/n who was still deep in thought, a deep frown had formed between her eyebrows.

“It’s okay if you want to take time and think about it. Because Steve was previously linked to Peggy Carter. Whatever they had was very public. My concern, well, I know for sure that Eleanor will use it against you Y/n. I don’t know what she wanted from Steve but she’s desperate to get there and she won’t hesitate to put you on the line if it means that she gets what she wants.”

“I had called off the fucking engagement, I did everything I could to remove her completely from my life. I took the fuckin’ blame for ending it, I don’t understand why we are dragging Y/n into this?” Steve was exasperated.

“We’re not dragging Y/n, she is going to use every dirty tactic in the law book to bring you down. You’d hurt her ego. Whatever malicious plan she’d have, you’d ruined it. I’m sorry to say but Y/n and Malcolm would be the collateral damage. It is your fight, Steve.”

“Do you think I don’t fuckin’ know that? I know we’re in this mess because of me and I honestly want to change that, Nat. I just don’t know what to do… I can’t live with myself without getting all the answers.” Steve sadly looked at Nat. His worry lines were visible, and shoulders tensed. “I’m sorry Y/n, I know apologizing is not enough – “

“I know Steve, trust me I know. And I know it’s hard for you but I’m here, willing to fight whatever it is, with you.” she emphasized on with you.

Y/n didn’t give Steve a chance to say more, she shifted in her seat, inhaling a deep breath. “About your question, I think… I’m sure I wouldn’t want to change anything about co-parenting with Steve. I’m sure we’ll figure out something, when or if either of us would be ready to have a relationship.” She looked at Steve expectantly to which he nodded.

“I second that. We’re on the same page.”

“That’s a relief.” Nat chuckled, “It means less work for me.”

“Does people at your workplace know that the two of you have a son?”

“My assistant knows, she was babysitting Mal the day he met him for the first time. She was there.” Y/n told Nat.

“Do you think she had told other staff? I know gossips blow faster than the wind.”

“I honestly don’t know but even if she had, I don’t think I’d be worried about that. So far, Steve and I have been strictly professional about it.”

“Well, it’s time to let them know that Malcolm is made purely with your love and not a product of a one-night stand.” Nat carefully looked at Steve and Y/n, “I know it sounds ridiculous, but I want you guys to play safe here. With Eleanor I can’t guarantee how filthy it gets and if things go south and a judge gets involved, we’d need testimonies to prove a solid background. But don’t worry about it, I’ll try my best to take care of it. Meanwhile, just lay your groundwork.”

“Do you have any suggestions, Nat? I mean, we’re putting a very personal part of our lives out there… it’s not exactly very comfortable.” Steve asked.

“Just lay it out there in a subtle way, like… I don’t know, may be…” Nat paused for a moment and continued, “… may be throw a party, invite them over… give them hints of what you two had, a relationship, a connection… honestly, I don’t know. This is something PR handles, if you want, I can loop in Gamora, she handles our PR.” She looked at them expectantly.

“Okay, I’ll take care of it.” Steve said, taking a sip from his beer.

“Are you sure about digging it?” Nat said in a serious tone.

“Yes. More than ever! I need to know what happened…” his frown deepened, and he looked towards Y/n who just nodded encouragingly.

“You deserve to know the truth Steve, and it’s about time you stop running from the...”

“I wasn’t running Nat, I was just… “he cut off Nat in the middle but couldn’t continue talking, a lump formed in his throat, and he let his head down fixing his stare on his open palms. “… the guilt’s been eating me alive…”

He murmured under his breath; Y/n looked at him sadly, not sure how to make him feel better.

Nat heaved a sigh, “Do you want me to document everything I’ve known so far as your statement, Steve? Something you might want to add.”

“Yes please. I’ve told you exactly what happened that night.”

“Yeah, he told me over drinks in a very colorful language.” Nat smirked looking at Y/n who just smiled half-heartedly.

“Okay, le’me go through it one more time and then I’ll get out of here.” Nat rubbed her palms together and sat straight, “So the night starts with your graduation party, everyone was there. And by everyone, means half of the people from your college, right? And you’ve had everything set up at the harbor front. Sarah and Bucky helped you in everything…” Y/n frowned; she didn’t know that part of the story. She looked at Steve in confusion. From his peripheral, Steve could feel her gaze, but he kept his eyes glued to the floor.

“… plan was to snuck Y/n out from the party, and then you were supposed to drive down to the harbor where you had planned to propose to her.” Y/n gasped loudly, getting Nat to look at her, “But once Y/n left you at the bar…. Y/n, you, okay? Do you know something else?” Nat asked Y/n in a professional tone.

Steve sucked in a breath, internally cursing Nat for bringing up the proposal part for Y/n to know. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory for him, the ring he had bought for her was still in the top drawer of his closet, a reminder of his epic failure.

“Umm I think I need some air… You carry on Nat.” She got up, in her hurry to leave the room her knee collided with the coffee table, a painful hiss escaped her lips.

“Y/n… You okay.”

“I’m okay, I’m okay…” She held her hand up, signaling Steve to not get up from his seat and made a beeline to the kitchen door that opened in the patio.

Nat’s eyes were fixed on her figure and once she saw her figure disappeared, Steve snarled at her, “What the fuck were you thinking Nat?”

“Thank me later, Rogers. I just did a favor, besides how long were you planning to keep it from her?” a wide satisfactory smirk adorned her beautiful face.

“It wasn’t really an important detail, not after what happened. It doesn’t matter now.”

“It does! Every single detail that you think is not worth mentioning is important when you’re preparing to file a case against someone. You have no idea how things could get ugly, its fucking Eleanor we’re talking about.”

“Damn it…” Steve muttered under his breath.

“Go, talk to her.” Nat said with a lope- sided grin. “She could be expecting you, now shoo…”

“Nat… I don’t know, it’s not easy.”

“Since when you have been looking for easy? Go!”

Steve shook his head and walked towards the patio, his heart hammering in his chest. He gently opened the door and stepped outside, seeing her back towards him. She turned around to look at him, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Y/n… I - I can explain…” his throat went dry.

“N-no, Steve, just for once stop explaining things to me.” She frowned but her voice was wavering. She took a small step toward him. “… for once stop being contrite for everything you do.” She chuckled painfully, “I don’t know what I’m trying to say here… I don’t know…” she came closer to him, placing her palms gently on his chest, “You bought a ring for me?” Her eyes were glistening with tears, but she had a smile on her face.

“Yeah, I did.” He whispered; his face was mirroring hers. Teary eyes and a beautiful smile. She circled her arms around his neck and pulled him in a hug, he welcomed the warmth of her embrace tucking his head in the crook of her neck. They relished in each other’s arms, gentle squeezes, and quiet whimpers as if they were back to their youth where the only concern was to stay together no matter what. There was so much to say but they both opted to just be in each other’s proximity.

“When were you going to tell me about the ring?” Y/n pulled back a little to look straight into his eyes.

“Never!” came his prompt answer.

“Why?” She frowned.

“I don’t know, Y/n? Things haven’t been perfect for us lately. I still don’t know if we’re us to be honest.”

“I wish I could give you an answer for that.” She looked down sadly.

“Hey! You don’t have to say anything. I totally understand…” He softly lifted her chin making her look into his eyes.

“But now that I know…” She raised an eyebrow, her gaze lingered between his eyes and lips, “…you think it’d make a difference?”

“I like to think it would, but I don’t want you to feel rushed.” He involuntarily leaned into her.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about…” She chuckled lightly. “…with everything going on… I feel like I’m going crazy.” She gently brushed her thumb over the corner of his lips and sighed.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.” He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. Just then, they both heard a soft knock on the sliding glass door behind them. They turned around to see their little boy’s face pressed into the glass and a small pout on his pushed-up lips. Steve let out a laugh as he stepped towards the door and slid it open.

“Daddy, mama….” Malcolm jumped into Steve’s arms, Natasha making her way behind him with her signature smirk.

“Aunty Nat said she can get me passes for Wegowand in ‘ew Yowk. I’s huge, she said.” He excitedly told Steve and Y/n who came to stand beside him and seeing their son’s excitement. “I wike Aunty Nat.” He whispered the part in Steve’s ear but loud enough for all three adults to hear and laugh.

“Aunty Nat huh?” Steve raised an eyebrow towards Nat who just shrugged and looked at Y/n whose gaze was at her. Y/n returned Nat’s smile and stepped inside the house.

“I hope you don’t mind me bringing up the ring thing… I know it wasn’t my place, but Steve would never…” She paused for a second and looked where Steve and Malcolm were still on the patio laughing at something. “… I just thought you deserve to know that.” Nat rushed the latter.

“How long do you know Steve?” Y/n asked softly.

“Just last four years.”

“Mhmm...” Y/n nodded, still having the distinct look on her face. Nat quickly picked up on the awkward silence between the two of them.

“Just so you know, I’m not on the list of women he had slept with.” Nat’s smirk returned; Y/n looked at her quizzically. “We met when I was already engaged to Bruce, besides Steve is not my type.”

“You don’t have to explain, Natasha… I trusted Steve when he told me that you’re a good friend. It’s just – I think you might take the awkwardness in a wrong way but it’s not that… it’s just… you know so much about my mom and I’m just trying to process everything, you know what I mean?”

“I know” a friendly smile appeared on Nat’s face, “… but sugar coating the truth is not me, Y/n. Eleanor’s track record has been perilous, I can’t side-eye that just because she’s your mother.” Nat’s tone was gentle but professional.

“I’m not asking you to do that. It’s just… I – I don’t…” Y/n contemplated in her mind if she should tell Nat about Peggy’s email and what it said or may be just tell Steve first – perhaps ask her dad now that the lawyer was involved it’d be impossible to keep it a secret. No, she couldn’t do that to Steve.

“…” She felt Nat’s eyes on her, waiting intently for her to continue.

“Never mind.” Y/n gave her a fixated smile. “You want something… snacks? Drink? Anything? I’m sorry I didn’t ask earlier.” She opened the pantry and looked for some quick snacks to fix, Nat could easily read her anxiety.

“Oh boy,” Y/n muttered under her breath, “seems like Steve needs to do some groceries. Here, have some pretzels.” She took out the box of pretzels and put it on the counter. “… and some mozzarella sticks, I can air-fry ‘em for you.”

Nat laughed shaking her head, “You’re offering me Malcolm’s snacks?”

“That’s all I have here.” Y/n chuckled lightly; she took out two glasses from the cupboard, and a bottle of Pinot Grigio from the refrigerator. She poured more than a half glass for both and moved the glass towards Nat.

“Can’t say no to this…” Nat took a sip, “thanks.”

Y/n gulped down the cold liquor in quaff, placing her empty glass in the sink.

“Woah! That was super quick.” Nat raised an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t usually do it but… I think I needed it today.” Y/n said with a tight smile.

“We all do, once in a while.” Nat shrugged taking a sip from her drink. “You know, you really gave him a purpose… to life.” Nat said, looking out the glass door where Steve and Malcolm were now playing with the throwball. Y/n followed her gaze and smiled.

“It’s our little boy… he gave both of us a purpose.”

“For Steve, it’s you and Malcolm.” Nat emphasized on you. “This is the first time in four years I’m seeing Steve genuinely happy and it’s because of you.” Nat softly said with a smile. “… he belongs with you, Y/n.”

Y/n’s gaze moved from the glass door where she was looking at her whole world playing and laughing together, realizing in that moment that Steve had indeed made her life complete, that he had given her Malcolm when he wasn’t there for her. He had left a part of him in the form of their little one, he never abandoned her. She looked at Nat with a smile, “Maybe I should plan a little catch up before we dive further into this mess. Just the two of us, dig you a bit, get some info on my child’s father.”

Nat chortled, shaking her head; “I look forward to that. I’m here for all the juicy stuff.”

“Let’s do it.” They both laughed.

“You sure you can handle that?” Nat winked.

“Try me.” Y/n challenged.

Steve made his appearance with Malcolm on his piggyback laughing hysterically at some silly noise his father just made.

“Mama, daddy don’t know ‘bout old Mcdona’d had a farm… he said unc’e Mcdona’d was his neighbor…” A loud cackle echoed in the room when Steve rolled Malcolm upside down not letting him finish.

“He doesn’t have to know that…” Y/n chuckled narrowing her eyes at Steve at their old joke. Uncle Macdonald was Sarah’s old neighbor and Steve used to hide in one of the branches of his old tree that was crossing the Line fences separating the two houses and landed himself in trouble every time he’d climbed up that big tree.

Y/n crouched down and looked at their giggling son, she opened her arms for him with a smile and Malcolm ran straight into her. Steve took out a bottle of cold water from the fridge, twisting the cap he gulped down the liquid quickly. Nat cleared her throat, and smirked at Steve, “I should be get going.”

“You’re not staying for dinner? We can order something in…” Y/n said standing up, Malcolm in her arms.

“Thank you, Y/n, but maybe next time… got a lot of stuff piled up for me.” She said taking a last sip of her drink.

“Thank you for flying down here, Nat. I appreciate it.” Steve came to stand beside Y/n.

“You better make it worth my while.” Nat said meaningfully, causing Y/n to chuckle and Steve glared at her.

“Hit me up when you’re in mood for gossip.” Nat winked at Y/n and gave her a side hug. Malcolm was still sitting on his mama’s hip. She slid her business card in Y/n’s hand and ruffled Malcolm’s silky hair. “For sure! Thanks Nat.” Y/n smiled.

“Bye sunshine, I’ll see you around.”

“Bye Aunty Nat.” Malcolm put his head in Y/n’s neck, rubbing his eye, evidently tired.

“I’ll keep you guys posted on everything. Meanwhile, if you think of anything worth sharing, just give me a call.” Nat said looking at Y/n to which she nodded.

“I’ll walk you out.” Steve said, “Thanks again, Nat.” he opened the door for her to step out and he followed.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” She smiled and pulled Steve in a friendly hug, “Follow your heart, Steve.” She pulled back and smirked at him.

“Yeah, right.” Steve scoffed.

“We have what we have when we have it…” She gave a gentle tug on his forearm.

“Nat, I- I”

“You got this, Steve.” With one last bye Nat walked down the concrete steps and got into Uber.

Steve waved a goodbye and sighed deeply, inhaling the fresh summer air he pondered over Nat’s words follow your heart, he repeated the words in his head and smiled contentedly. He turned around and headed inside the house with a small smile still playing on his lips. Looking around he found Malcolm sprawled on the couch watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Y/n was nowhere in sight.

“Hey bubba, where’s mama?” Steve leaned down kissing Malcolm’s head.

“Dunno.” He shrugged; eyes glued on the TV screen. “Mamaaaa, whe’e you?” He hollered making Steve chuckle.

“In your bedroom.” Y/n’s voice came in.

“Mama in my bedwoom, daddy.”

“Yeah… thanks buddy.” Steve muttered and came in front of Malcolm’s line of vision blocking him from the screen. A small frown immediately formed on his face as he looked at Steve making him laugh out loud.

“Daddy…”

“Yes bubba…” Steve laughed, ruffled his hair, and kept trying to block his view of the screen.

“Daddy, move…” this time he sounded little annoyed, and Steve kissed him hard on the cheeks and got up. He saw Y/n coming down the stairs with Malcolm’s backpack and his socks and shoes in her hands.

“Steve, I tidied up his room…” She put the backpack on the couch and sat down beside Malcolm to put the socks on his feet. “… and I think I don’t have to take the truck Nat got him. He’s got enough toys there… he doesn’t need another set of truck, also I’m leaving some of his clothes here as well.” She got up and walked towards the kitchen, Steve followed her like a lost puppy. Opening the pantry, she gave it a look over and turned around to see Steve leaning against the counter.

“I will send you a list of couple things for Mal so when you do grocery you’d remember.” She quickly typed something in her phone.

“We can go… together… if you want too of course… I mean if its not a problem…” Steve didn’t know why the nerves got him unexpectedly, it wasn’t like he was asking her out on a date. Oh, had he remembered their very first date in high school, his dad drove them to Coney Island. It had been so long, but he still missed his father, he still missed their Saturday morning fishing trips to Brooklyn Bridge Park at the western end – he simply missed his presence, and he knew the value of his own existence in Malcolm’s life. A warm touch of Y/n’s hand brought him out of his reverie, making him clear his throat.

“… earth to Steve…”

“Yeah, I’m here… I’m here…”

“Are you?” she raised her eyebrow playfully.

Steve smiled at her sheepishly, “I kinda spaced out… any way I – “

“Anyway, I’m fine with that. I was thinking we could go on the weekend; I’ve got couple things that I need to do so we’ll check it off the list. And I also wanted to show you what I have planned so far for Mal’s birthday and if you want to put in something that’d be great.” She smiled, leaving him mesmerized. “Oh, before he falls asleep, would you mind dropping us off? My car’s still in the parking lot. I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

“I like it.” He cleared his throat again, “I mean I like seeing you like that… I love this about you, I – I mean…” Y/n chuckled. “Gosh, I’m making it awkward.” He roughly combed his hair with his fingers.

Y/n took a step forward, “I get what you’re trying to say…” she has her signature smile spread across her beautiful face. Steve inhaled in the scent of her perfume, intoxicating his senses.

“I’m just trying to focus on Mal’s birthday right now. Talking with Nat was a lot more helpful than I thought. I am still scared though… but I’m trying not to get it affect me, Steve… you know what I mean. I just want to make it memorable for him… it is going to be his first birthday with you – you don’t know what it means to him and … to me.” Her voice wavered with emotions and Steve took a step in her direction, closing the distance between them.

“Hey…” He cupped her cheek gently and looked straight into her eyes, his intense gaze holding hers, tears glistening her eyes.

“I’m okay.” She smiled as the tears bubbled over, without wasting a moment Steve wiped it away with his thumb.

“I know.”

“I’m okay and it’s because of you, Steve.” She pulled Steve closer, still holding her, he leaned in to place his forehead against hers.

“Y/n, I…”

“Yeah?”

She blinked, leaning in a bit closer. Steve opened his mouth, but no words came in, he mirrored her action and moved his face closer, her breath tingling his lips. She nodded at his silent permission and Steve gently pressed his lips on hers. The kiss was soft and delicate, like butterfly wings. It was warm and tender and intimate. It was perfect. Her lips were tingling when Steve pulled back, resting his forehead on hers again.

“I love you.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

“Steve, I – “

“You don’t have to say it back. Take your time, as much you want. I’m just letting you know how I feel about you. No rush, sweetheart.”

Y/n nodded, giving him a shy smile. “You, okay?”

“Never better.” He gave her a toothy grin that made her laugh. Shaking her head, she pushed him lightly in his abs and walked towards where Malcolm was still engrossed in the TV screen.

“All done Mal-pal. Go use the bathroom before we leave.”

“No feewing mama.” He whined and went back to watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

“Oh no no… we’re trying buddy.” She made him sit up, but the little boy crawled up to his mama’s lap, resting his head on her shoulder.

“I so tiwed, mama.”

“I’d help you, honey. C’mon…”

Once settled in the car, Steve and Y/n tried to keep Malcolm awake for the twenty-minute journey. Most of the part it was Steve being goofy with his son.

“Mm so yummy Nana.” Malcolm said mouth full of nuggets, his favorite dinner.

“Mal-pal, we don’t talk with food in our mouth.” Y/n whispered in his ear.

“But mama so yummy. I say thank you?” He whispered loudly.

“First, finish the food in your mouth then say thank you.”

“Thank you, Nana. I so…. Ummm… thank you…”

“You’re very welcome, love.” Alice said while laughing with everybody. The dinner passed with light conversation and some laughter here and there.

While Steve put Malcolm to bed, Y/n helped Alice clean up the kitchen. They both were having a light conversation when Steve came down the stairs, ready to leave.

“That was quick.” Alice said wiping her hands with the towel, “Would you like to have some tea?”

“Umm…” Steve seemed a bit tentative.

“You wouldn’t wana miss it.” Y/n came to stand beside Steve after loading the dishwasher. “Alice’s special.” The chirpiness in her voice didn’t go unnoticed by Alice, her smile widened when Steve looked at Y/n the same way Malcolm looked at her – with utmost love. She made a mental note of mentioning it to her husband who still sometimes got over-protective over Y/n.

“Sure.” Steve smiled.

“Ahuh, we could…” she paused, “Do you wana see what I have planned so far for Mal’s birthday? Wait, let me get my iPad.”

“Here you go.” Alice placed a cup in front of Steve as Y/n left to get her device, he thanked her with a smile.

“You can take your cup to her room, you know.” Alice smiled with a raised eyebrow when Steve’s eyes stayed glued to his cup for a bit longer.

“Uhm… Itsokay – a-are you sure?”

“Positive.” Alice laughed; she patted him lightly on the shoulder as she passed him to go to her room. Y/n climbed down the stairs receiving a wink from Alice she asked amused, “Did I miss something?”

“Just Steve being … Steve-vie.” Alice hollered over the staircase making Y/n scrunch her nose.

“So, do you like the tea?”

“Y-yeah it’s great.”

Steve cleared his throat as Y/n stepped into his personal space.

“It’s okay if you don’t like it.”

She gently grabbed the still hot cup from his hold, placing her lips on the same spot where Steve had a sip from. Steve was already having a hard time shaking their brief kiss off his mind and seeing her doing that spasmed his heart with emotions, particularly desire - desire to feel her lips against his again. It was an innocent act on her part, yet he found it extremely hot.

“She brings some old herbs from the flea market to make this tea. Bucky doesn’t like it either.” She placed the cup on the kitchen counter and turned on her iPad. Once she pulled up her illustrations on the screen which were basically a fancy truck themed floor plan of his backyard, she started showing how she wanted to incorporate activity station for kids, cake table and DIY dump truck photo booth with the theme because Malcolm was obsessed with anything with wheels. Steve wasn’t really focused but still responding to her with mhm and great. His eyes were on her face, her long lashes, her lips, and scrunched eyebrows when she pointed to the photo booth corner and told him that she was not sure about it. His eyes fell on her slender neck, her sweet spot just above her clavicle –

“What?” Y/n turned to face him and asked.

“What, what?” He was caught red handed.

“You’re not paying attention” She put away her iPad.

“I am.” He lied, well partially. “… everything is perfect, I don’t want to change anything.” He had a glint of amusement in his eyes.

She frowned at him, “Not even once have I said something about making changes. I just wanted to – you know what, forget it.” She sighed and walked across the counter to sit on one of the bar stools.

“Hey, I’m sorry…” He came near her, “… I got a little distracted.”

“Yeah, I know. I was that distraction.”

Steve smiled, “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing, it is NOT.”

“Steve, I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” He sat beside her.

It took her a minute or two to gather her thoughts, he waited patiently trying to read the contort of her face.

“What do you want us to be? You and me?” She was straight to the point.

“It depends on you. I’m happy with whatever you decide us to be.” His answer was prompt.

“I’m asking you, Steve.” She sounded a little frustrated.

“And I just told you. I’m happy to be a part of your life, yours, and Mal’s – in whatever capacity.”

“This is not the answer I want Steve. I want you to tell me what you want moving forward. What do you expect of us?”

Steve smiled and moved his hand to cover hers, intertwining their fingers gently, he leaned forward and placed a feathery kiss on her cheek.

“I want us to be us – however long it takes.” His intense gaze was holding his raw emotions, and she knew that he wasn’t lying. He meant every word he said.

“I’m ready to take the next step, only when you are ready, Y/n. I know it won’t be easy but I’m here and I want to stay by your side for as long as you want me in your life. It does not mean that I want to rush you into making any decision, I just want to be here, with you and our son, in any capacity you allow me to be. I know we have a long a way to go back to what we had before, and I know it in my heart that it’s worth the wait. You set the pace – I’d happily follow your lead, Y/n.”

He smiled, his boyish grin that was just fixed for her and what she did next wasn’t just a reflex of his words, it was her assurance to him – what she wanted. She pulled him close by the neck and placed her lips on to his. Steve responded with equal eagerness. Her lips were soft and inviting, faintly tasted like the tea she just sipped on a couple minutes ago. They parted slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside causing her to moan softly. Groaning, Steve rose from the bar stool and came to stand between legs without breaking the kiss. Her arms now circled around his neck, pulling him closer. He cupped her cheeks and pressed into her when she tugged at his hair. The kiss was filled with love and passion, it was just about the purity of their feelings for each other. There wasn’t any lust but longing for each other, both wanted to show the other that despite four years between them, their love for each other remained – unscathed and lasting.

Y/n pulled away first, Steve kissed the tip of her nose and then placed his forehead on hers. They both chuckled while catching their breath.

“It was … perfect. Wasn’t it?” Y/n whispered, savoring in their proximity.

“Mhmm…” He kissed her on forehead and pulled away to take his spot on the stool. She took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers.

“Maybe I don’t want to go back to what we had…” She carefully chose her words, noticing that Steve was holding his breath. “…. Maybe… I just want to move forward as parents first, doesn’t mean that I don’t cherish what we had before. We brought life into this world, that’s how beautiful our relationship was. Mal is precious for both of us and whatever we decide will have direct impact on our son.”

She squeezed his hand softly, smiling she continued, “Parenting is not easy, Steve. It means a lot of sacrifices on our part. It also means disagreements… and it would probably lead us to deal with a sudden outburst and tantrums, he’s handful when he’s sick. We wouldn’t be in our best behaviors all the time, means it comes to a point where we would snap at each other. Sometimes it means ‘us’ would be on the back burner because our child’s needs come first. Back then it was just the two of us, we’d fight, and we made up but now we can’t have arguments in front of him.”

Y/n looked at him expectantly, “I know I’m drawing the worst-case scenarios here, because… somewhere deep inside I’m still the same teenager Y/n who was shit scared of her mother…” her eyes glistened, it took all of Steve’s strength to not hold her in his arms, but he let her continue.

“… that part of me still tricks my brain into believing that nothing good would ever happen to me. And last four years had made it worse.”

“It is not true.” Steve caressed her cheek.

“I know. I have learned to live with it, in fact, according to my therapist I’m doing a pretty good job with handling my anxiety.”

“Therapist?”

“Yup! I had a sever case of post-partum depression and had to seek help… but that’s the story for another day.” She gave him a tight-lipped smile and he nodded in understanding.

“So…” She sighed, “if you’re still willing to be a part of my life, would you be onboard with the bad parts of it too?”

Steve leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

“Is that a, yes?” she smiled on the tingling feeling of his lips.

“You have a doubt?” He pecked her lips again.

She shrugged her shoulders, “could you be more convincing?”

Steve laughed and captured her lips in yet another deep kiss and when they broke apart, she pulled him in a hug. She closed her eyes and breathed into the crook of his neck. The distant smell of his cologne was comforting her, she stayed in his arms savoring the warmth and solace in him. It had been almost five years since she felt at peace and it was in this moment, in his arms, that she finally found tranquility.

“Hey, you with me?” Steve asked in a whisper. She was so quiet that he had to confirm if she was awake.

“Mhmm…” She slightly pulled away to face him. “Can we take ‘us’ slow? Like turtle speed slow? Sneaking around, stealing moments for us and see how it goes?”

“Yes, absolutely.” He returned her smile with love filled eyes.

“You won’t ask me anything?”

“About what? I think everything we settled on is pretty straight forward.”

“So? Coffee or hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate. And I’m making it.” Steve said walking towards the refrigerator to take out milk.

“If you insist.” She shrugged playfully. The next couple minutes were spent in comfortable silence, while Steve focused on making hot chocolate Y/n just sat there in the kitchen watching him.

“Ya’ know staring is considered rude.” He placed a steamy mug in front of her and came to sit down on his previous spot.

“I’m not staring.”

“Ahuh.”

“What? I was thinking about something else.”

“I believe you.” he smirked.

“You’re being a sarcastic jerk to me!” she playfully hit him on the arm.

As they both settled down from a shared laugh, she took a sip from her hot drink. Steve looked at her face expectantly, noticing the way she had closed her eyes enjoying the taste of the hot chocolate in her mouth. It wasn’t an instant mixed hot chocolate; Steve had made it from scratch.

“Mmmm… this is so good.” She almost whispered.

“Thanks. Glad you like it.”

“I didn’t know I’ve been missing your hot chocolate more than I missed you.” She licked her lips.

Steve chuckled, “I’ll make you whenever you want to have one.”

“But you’d never share the secret recipe, Steve? You used to make it almost every night for me when we were young. Remember the exam nights, this hot chocolate did wonders.”

“I remember it all too well, Y/n.” He smiled but it wasn’t reaching his eyes, he took a sip from his own cup. “… It’s my dad’s recipe.”

Y/n looked at him like she had seen a ghost, her face went pale. Steve’s eyes were fixed on his cup else he wouldn’t have continued.

“When I first told dad how I felt about you, he told me that I’d have to do something extra ordinary to win you over. He shared his recipe with me, the same one he used when he and ma started dating. This is something very personal to me, close to my heart. He never shared it with Ma, he’d always fix some for her after dinner… It’s been years but I still miss him. I look up to him whenever I’m with Mal. I just… think about how he was with me when I was a kid and instantly, I know what to do. I wish I’d be half of a person my dad was to our son… wish there was a way I could tell him that ‘hey dad, your loser of a son is a father now.’” His eyes were distant, and a sad smile plastered his beautiful features. Y/n reached out to hold his hand but stopped not knowing what to say to him. Suddenly, she held herself accountable for something her mother had done years ago. How would she ever be able to tell him that her mother was the reason he lost his father.

“Hey… hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Y/n, tch… sweetheart…” When he finally turned his face to see a wet trail on her cheeks.

“I’m sorry Steve.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault, Y/n.” And she looked at him with pain-stricken expression.

“I wish… I could be of help.” She snuffed. “You can talk to me about him, you know that right?”

He nodded with a small smile and moved on to talk about Malcolm’s birthday party arrangements. While they discussed a few things keeping in mind what Nat had told them earlier in the day, Y/n knew what she had to do at the end of their conversation. When Steve left, giving her yet another amazing good night kiss, she didn’t miss a moment to forward Peggy’s email to Natasha. She didn’t know if it was a hasty move, all she knew was that she couldn’t keep this information from Steve. Within ten minutes, she got a text message from Natasha.

-does Steve know about this?

-No.

-okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

-sure. Thanks Nat.

-Don’t thank me yet. You’ve been sitting on a bomb.

-I didn’t know what to do.

-We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Night.

-G’night.

As she lay down in the comfort of her bed, she wondered if she had done the right thing. She wanted to think about herself and Steve, and their future together but she couldn’t get Steve’s words out of her mind. Tossing and turning in bed, when sleep finally embraced her, she was jolted awake by the sound of Malcolm crying. She jumped out of her bed making a beeline towards Malcolm’s room.

“Mal-pal, what’s wrong?” She took him in her arms, slightly rubbing his back. “See mama is right here. Did you have a nightmare?”

He nodded with a sob.

“Okay, sweetheart. Here, take a sip of water and look at me.” She passed a water bottle, “You’re okay, everything is alright. It was just a nightmare. You wana tell me about it?”

“No wemembe’. But was scawy.” He sniffled between the words.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe. Okay? We’ll bring a new flashlight for your bedside table.” She set him down on the bed again, gently rubbing his back and she put herself in a comfortable position beside him and closed her eyes.

The next time she woke up with Alice gently calling out her name, letting her know that it was quarter to eight. Malcolm was still asleep on her chest, she put him down softly and got out of his bed, assuring Alice that she was okay, but she wasn’t. A slight pound of headache was making its way and before it got worse, she needed to take a shower and get ready for work.

She joined her dad and Alice at the breakfast table with unusually quiet Malcolm. She poured some coffee in her cup and made bite size pieces of pancake for her son.

“Is everything okay, sweetheart?” Daniel asked. “Hey champ, you didn’t say good morning to Nono and Nana.”

Malcolm looked at his mama and then his Nono, “I had a nightma’e. I no sweep good.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, buddy. What can we do to make you feel good?”

Malcolm looked towards Y/n who smiled at him, “Dunno.” He shrugged.

“How about a shopping trip? I heard someone’s birthday is just around the corner and we think if we can go gift shopping…?”

Malcolm’s face light up immediately, “Its my birthday Nono, in…. twe’ve days.” He got excited.

“Okay, then I will pick Nono and Mal from the day care in the evening and we’ll go shopping.”

“… and we eat ice cweam too, Nana.” He said with mouth full, thrilled, and delighted.

Y/n leaned down to place a kiss on Malcolm’s forehead, this time she genuinely smiled seeing the happiness on her son’s face. Her heart melted and she gave another kiss in his hair before getting up and heading to the kitchen cabinet, taking out two tablets of Tylenol, she popped them in her mouth. Her phone on the counter started buzzing, seeing Natasha’s name on the screen, she stepped out of the kitchen clutching the phone in her hand.

“Hey Natasha!”

“Hey wassup?” Natasha chirped in her carefree tone. “And you can call me Nat. you’re my best friend’s girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Y/n was amused at her confidence.

“Oh! May be not yet but I can see it happening.” It’s the way that Nat said it had made Y/n chuckle, finally easing up her tensed muscles.

“My alleged boyfriend told me you were a lawyer, didn’t know you could read future.”

Nat laughed out loud through the phone, “I like you… gosh why didn’t we meet earlier. You’d have been my best friend.”

“Thanks Nat.” She smiled.

“You’re welcome, Y/n…”

“What do you think about the email, Nat? I’ve been sitting on it for almost a month.”

“Oh boy!” Nat heaved a sigh, “Have you told Steve about it?”

“No! I wanted to but my dad told me not to…” She explained why her dad didn’t want Steve to know about this email.

“He’s right though, I respect your Daniel Carter, wouldn’t questioned his judgment. But its about you and Steve.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, the truth about his dad will eventually come out because Steve has filed a case against her. I’m gathering all the proof before I send an official court notice to her. And this email is solid evidence… its totally up to you if you want to tell Steve or just stay quiet…”

“How could I stay quiet, Nat. Just the other day, he told me how much he misses his dad, how much he still looks up to him… that’s unfair… I can’t hide it from him, but I’m also scared… scared that he would do something reckless. I don’t even know at this point.” Y/n was frustrated.

“I get what you’re saying. But it’s your choice to make, Y/n. If you don’t want to tell him, I wouldn’t let him know that you helped me with this evidence. You still have time to think over it though. I’m handling everything the best I can. I appreciate that you sent it to me, I’ll put together everything I have gathered against her. I would suggest you just chill and enjoy prepping for your little one’s birthday party.”

“Yeah… Thanks Nat. I seriously had no clue…”

“Don’t worry about it… unless I asked you to.” She laughed.

“I will try my best not to…” Y/n chuckled. With the sound of door opening, Malcolm rushed off to his mama and wrap himself on her thigh.

“Mama, you talk with daddy. I too.”

“I’m not, Mal-pal. Its Aunty Nat on the phone.” She ruffled his silky golden locks.

“I wana talk to daddy.” He whined.

“You will, sweetheart. Just be patient. Let me finish up with Aunty Nat.”

Nat, in the background cooed over Malcolm telling Y/n to give him a kiss for her. Once she ended the call with Nat, she Face- timed Steve and gave the phone to excited Malcolm as she walked them back inside. While he was busy with Steve, she started getting ready for work. After conversing with Nat, she was able to put aside her stress and think positively of the situation. If it was up to her to let Steve know about his dad, then she would make sure that she’d do it sooner rather than later. She didn’t want to build a relationship with him, keeping secrets from him. She had no idea how he would react, maybe he’d do exactly same what her dad had deduced that is going rampage after her mother, but she hoped it wouldn’t be the case because Steve had already filed a case against Eleanor.

Y/n settled on waiting until after Malcolm’s birthday party, then she would let Steve know the truth. Giving herself a satisfied look in a full-length mirror, she headed out to find her son who happened to be a big fan of his father. She smiled seeing him sprawled out on the couch where she left him, in a deep conversation about garbage trucks and their history. She waited patiently for them to end the call while also wondering about finally starting something with Steve. Even to this day and what they had gone through in the past four years, her heart still fluttered, and butterflies still erupted in her stomach to the idea of finally having a significant relationship with Steve. There’d be ups and downs, moments when they both needed space from each other but in her heart, she knew that they would be just fine together.

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zaraomarrogers · 1 month

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First, can I just give you a hug?? And cry happy tears because the way you have written this part was just ethereal - heavenly magical. And also because I love the love they have 🥰❤

Steve's tenderness and love for her had warmed my heart. I love the love he made to her. It couldn't be more perfect. The softness of the scene was so empowering that I had to wipe a tear or two cause it felt all real when she asked him 'how would she make him feel good' , and how happy it made me for Steve and his girl. Stevie deserves all the love ❤❤ so does our uptown girl. I don't know whats gonna happen in part 3 because my heart broke when Steve told her 'I dont know where we're going...' 😭 all I know is that they both deserve a win❤

I love how you love Steve because it shows in the way you write him. This is the first series of yours I'm reading and I'm in awe of the beauty of your writing❤❤❤ I wish I had money and resources to make a Netfilx original out of this fic cause it deserves to be seen and recognised by the world. The magic of love you've created in this story 👏👏❤❤

I'm sorry it took me ages to get to the second part, life's been crazy for me with school and work.

I'm sending you love, hugs and positive vibes. Hope you're having a fantastic day/night 💕

- your fan 🤗

Grease and Pearls - Pt.2

Boy Meets Girl

Type: One-shot turned three-shot (because does anyone really want a 17k in one go?)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (main), Tony/Reader, Tony/Pepper

Word count: 7400 (yeah, you read it right)

Summary:

An uptown girl met a downtown guy with a heart of gold. Oh, and he’s handsome too. It inevitably leads to their relationship blossoming and developping…

For @cxptain ’s challenge. Prompt: Uptown Girl by Billy Joel

A/N: This 18+ chapter got so much longer than I intended. Welcome to smut. I blame certain individuals I’ve been talking with online when I was writing this story. I bet you know who you are, yes, you.

Warnings: swearing, attempt at smut, nsfw, first times, little bit of blood, …fluff?

Part 1

⊱○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○◦○⊰

July blended into August and love was in the air. There was no exaggeration here – that was exactly how Steve felt.

Call him a dork.

Call him a sap.

Call him an idiot.

He wouldn’t care.

Two more dates had been arranged and Steve knew that he was getting way too deep, considering all the risks, considering that the relationship he had fallen into head first was doomed before it even started– but he didn’t want to think about that.

A love-struck smile was tugging on his lips as he worked on a Lincoln Mark VI Continental, a highbrow kind of car for sure, and his mind simply couldn’t but wander to her.

Keep reading

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zaraomarrogers · 1 month

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Yessss… Nat is the queen 👸

Things will get worse before it gets better right??? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ just throwing it out there.

Thank you for your support and also for reblogging ❤️