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Kate: After they got done stitching Jack up, the doctor asked him why he went to the park, and he said, "because that's where mommy and daddy are happy."

*pause*

Kate: So yeah, we're in the system now.

#this is us #kate pearson #toby damon #jack damon

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oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

#snail #cuteness

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If you think that you may be neurodivergent or disabled and you self diagnose in order to access resources I have one thing to tell you.

Whether you turn out to be neurodivergent or not, you deserve whatever resources or accommodations that will make your life happier, safer, or easier.

Everyone deserves the help they need, whether they have a disability or not. Whether you are self diagnosed or professionally diagnosed. Everyone deserves accommodations, and if you think otherwise that is rooted in ableism. The idea that accommodations are scarce and should be reserved for only the people who need them most is rooted in capitalist systems that shame disabled people for being 'useless' and requiring resources.

#neurodiversity #adhd #autism #mental illness #anxiety #depression #accommodations #disability #ableism

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#cat stuff

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Reassurance Masterlist

My blog is mostly harsh to read, so here’s every reassuring post I made:

When you feel it “wasn’t that bad”

How loving parents act towards their kids

You’ve done enough to try and understand your parents

Abuse towards you cannot be justified

Abuse and trauma have no benefits

When you feel you weren’t abused enough

There was nothing you could have done differently to avoid abuse

It’s not your fault you feel like you don’t belong

Talking about abuse isn’t whining

Craving abuse is not your fault

Self-harming is not your fault

Intrusive thoughts are not your fault

Nobody in your situation would be able to get it together

Needing attention, comfort and validation is normal and human

You’re allowed to feel your feelings

You cannot provoke abuse, and you did not ask for it

Abuser’s point of view is not valid

Abusive parents can’t tell you who you are

Responsibility for abuse lies on abuser, not on you

Your pain is not a burden on others

When you struggle to call yourself a survivor

You do not deserve abuse even if you feel addicted to it

Your abuser didn’t have to hurt you

Nobody made them abuse you

Your future won’t be lost even if you can’t move forward right now

You are alive because of yourself

There are good things in you even if you don’t see it

Your problem isn’t that you’re not good enough

You can make up for everything abuse damaged in you

Relapses are not your fault and can be time-related

Craving abuse can mean you’re only craving comfort

Survivors of abuse will strive to create an environment of compassion

#mental health #trauma #anxiety #depression #ptsd #abuse #child abuse #bad parenting #self harm #attachment disorder #reassurance

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i was sixteen for twenty years

#poetry #lucie brock broido #beautiful writing

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me: I’m an adult, I don’t need approval from anyone anymore, I can decide for myself if I’m doing well or not

a kind person: tells me I did well

me, crying: I have never known relief or happiness until this moment

#attachment disorder #self esteem #low self esteem #validation #kindness #anxiety #depression

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There’s just something so heartbreaking about the lump in your throat, or crushing feeling on your chest when you see references to a happy childhood in shows, online, wherever. And the longing feel when you wish that yours had been like that.

I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t fix it. But you aren’t alone. And while you can’t change it, please make sure to give your inner child what they need whether that’s comfort, fun, validation or whatever else. They deserve that. And you do too.

#trauma #childhood #bad parenting #emotional neglect #attachment disorder #inner child #mental health #validation

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I kind of don't want to recover from any trauma I got because it feels like it will erase the evidence that I have been traumatized. No one really believes I have suffered anything, and if I did, it wasn't that bad. If I suddenly recover, what proof do I have that I really suffered, then? And if I recover, does that mean it really wasn't that bad?

Hey, I get that, I remember feeling that the pain on me was the only evidence that anything happened, and we believe this because our parents forced us to erase that evidence, right? They made us pretend we're fine, and acted like if that pain and trauma was gone, then they were blameless and no evidence against them could be found.

However, now I know it's not true. You can recover from trauma, but you can never, ever forget what happened, and what was done to you. You can never safely enter a similar situation without being affected, you can never feel safe under someone else's authority. And you can never erase the anger you feel for it. Once the worst of the pain and suffering is gone, your anger will be an intense and powerful proof of what was done to you. And it will no longer matter whether anyone trusts you or not; you will believe yourself, you will trust yourself, you will be 100% sure in what happened, and you will bear that anger, indignation, and consequences forever with you. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's good and freeing to be angry, to want to fight this type of thing happening to anyone again, it sure beats suffering.

Your parents cannot get out of responsibility for what they've done, regardless of how you react, and what level of pain or trauma you're in, the truth doesn't change just because nobody believes it, the truth holds consequences, and trauma isn't the only consequence. Your feelings towards them will never be the feelings of love, you will never consider them your family, you will never be a part of their family again, because the betrayal broke the bond of trust between you, and this is something that will come to the surface no matter how hard they try to bury it.

I wouldn't worry about suddenly recovering, as recovery takes intentional and slow progress. Once you do feel better, you will not doubt anything that happened to you, you will not be asking for a second whether it was that bad, you will know. Your own knowledge, your memory, your feelings and the journey you've been thru because of the abuse, this will become proof so solid, suffering will no longer be necessary to prove anything. The truth will rise up from your entire being.

#trauma #recovery #mental illness #mental health #bad parenting #family issues #abuse #child abuse #attachment disorder

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Every time I watch the Parenthood episode where Julia tells Sydney about heaven when Joel did not want her to AND THEY AGREED NOT TO, I immediately think "this is what he should have left her over."

#parenthood #nbc parenthood #julia braverman #julia graham #joel graham #it makes me so angry

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Being happy all the time isn’t realistic, but having a whole range of emotions, including being happy sometimes, is way more attainable! ☺️

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon

#depression #mental health #mental illness #happiness #recovery #emotions

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#childhood #bad parenting #emotional abuse #emotional neglect #acoa #attachment disorder #connection

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When your living space is a mess, don’t ever look around and think you should have managed better. Don’t look at the chaos as all the things you should have done. Look around and think, “Look how exhausted I’ve been. I have been saving my energy to save myself and that is right.” And then ask yourself what is one thing you could do that would make you feel more at home in your space–one thing you can manage right now. If that’s fluffing up your pillows, if that’s putting the cups back in the kitchen, if that’s writing a list of fruit you haven’t had in a while and going out to buy it, if it’s picking up your laundry from the floor and putting it on the chair, if it’s wiping the dust off your crystals–that’s enough. Do what would help you now. It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to be a mess. It’s enough to do what would help and leave the rest.

#mental health #mental illness #burnout #cleaning #depression

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Imagine the mental pain that someone must be experiencing if they'll inflict physical pain on themselves, often in an effort to gain relief. Is that attention-seeking? Of course it is not, it is attention-needing and it is definitely not done to simply seek attention. However, if you are asking whether a person is trying to draw attention to their distress, well then, the answer is yes, they are. They are trying to draw attention to the pain they are experiencing or they don't know how else to express how they are feeling. And our response should be how can we respond with compassion and support rather than with scorn and indignation? Similarly, using the word 'manipulative' is unacceptable. It misses the complexity of the motives that drive any behaviour and crucially it also misses the point that every one of us manipulates the people around us every single day. Any utterance or action that we undertake which seeks to achieve a particular end is manipulative. So never mind the offence caused, it just does not make any sense to label people who self-harm as such.

Rory O’Connor, When It Is Darkest: Why People Die by Suicide and What We Can Do to Prevent It

#quote #rory oconnor #suicide #self harm #self destructive behavior #suicidality #self injury #mental health #depression #anxiety #validation

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on earth we’re briefly gorgeous / ocean vuong

#ocean vuong #quote #tenderness #attachment disorder

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#mental health #emotions #affirmations #coping skills #self help #depression #identity #anxiety

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Ah yes, the 5 love languages:

touch starved

my parents never told me they are proud of me

i love Stuff

im so fucken tired please god just let me rest for 5 minutes

hey pay attention to me

#bad parenting #attachment disorder #love languages