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cdkaitlynn
hello, I am kaitlyn, 23 sissy in west of usa.
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We drove down from Boston hitting a lot of rain on the way. I took a couple naps and we hit Panera and Wendy's and we drove past New York City. We saw the huge residential building and learned it was like 82 million YIKES. Haha coming into philly We went to our Airbnb first, our host had rented it out as a private bedroom but the entire cute town home ended up being all ours as he was leaving for a vacation himself. Roland seemed like a really cool guy and his house was adorable. We set out not long after to view some historical stuff like the liberty bell and a courthouse after we were pretty hungry and found a cute local bar named moriartys. They had some really good appetizers and yummy wings for you! It was nice I remember we saw a wedding and that's when you had started chatting with me about how I would be a possible bridezilla and shrugged you off but in all honestly I know I will be freaking out a bit haha. The walk home was nice and the night at our Airbnb was
A dream. We smoked a bit and I took a shower and you poked your dick through the shower and me being me I sucked you a bit and next thing I knew you were hard and you sat on the tub and pulled me on your lap. I began to ride you and you made me go crazy as you reached around and caressed my boob as you played with my clit all while I was still riding you and it drove me absolutely crazy. It was amazing and then you moved me over to the bed and after a bit of intense kissing it didn't take you long to cum as well. We fell asleep not much later and the bed was incredibly comfortable. We woke up and had brunch before leaving at the cutest aesthetic breakfast spot. The food was amazing and so was the nude art on the walls. Philly we loved you. It was the last day of our week long vacation. Philly made me really happy, but sad that this adventure was coming to and end. But I know that spending this life with you will continue to bring me countless adventures.
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Bunbury was so much fun with you
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List of concerts so far
Just the list of concerts we have been to together so far :)
-Beartooth- Columbus
-Palisades-Columbus
-Mayday Parade- Columbus
-Firefly Music Festival- 4 days -Delaware
-Nevershoutnever the throwback tour -Cleveland
-Glass Animals- Columbus
-Eden-Columbus
Tickets in hand/anxiously awaiting
-Bunbury Festival- Cinncinati
-Warped Tour 2018- Cuyahoga Falls
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T-Less than a week!
Our next adventure is getting so close! A cabin in the smokies! :) and then a couple days later camping in northern Kentucky im too excited!
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I don't ever want you to leave
You went to Cleveland last night and as always I'm a little weird but you were just hanging withfriends and you did. You texted me telling me you loved me and you also did first thing this morning and said how excited you were to come back to see me. We talked for a bit and you told me about you getting Panda Express and peeing in a cup lol. What I mainly am referring to though is when I came to see you I just got off the phone with my mom and you opened the doorknob the same time I did and you pulled me in. You said hurry hurry take off your coat and shoes and I did and then you literally tackled me into bed. And we kissed a bit and I love that you do that. I straddled you and we made out for a bit. I ended up sucking you dick and watching you love it as always telling me how good I am at deepthroating. We started making love not soon after and it of course was amazing and you finished when I backed it up. I knew I looked good and was super confident today so I was feeling pretty good! After that we laid down together on your bed with the music still on and took a nap together. It was so nice. We were so close and the rain was falling and the song playing was adorable and I just thought about how my life was so perfect in that moment and I never wanted to forget that feeling and I never wanted you to ever leave. I hope I can have you forever. You're more than I could ever want.
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feelings
im not sure why but im really unhappy. when im with you things are ok but when im not with you I feel like I think about all the reasons im unhappy and how things aren't like they used to be. I think about if I should break up with you and if things are even going to work out with us. I used to be away from you and just not stop thinking about how much I missed you and wanted to be with you but now I just feel numb. I hate feeling this way because I do still love you. I just hope warmer weather will make things better and ill feel happy again.
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Sad
I'm sad and I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know if this is seasonal depression, if I'm bored, or what it is. I'm just so sad and numb
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feeling pretty happy
I love you lots. I wish I could talk to your mom more, we were talking about me working with cadavers in school this semester and you said she worked with them before and said it was weird but cool. I just kind of like getting close to my significant other's fam but its okay you're all I need to be happy. but I do think its cool because she probably did a lot of the same stuff I am going to do. You said she is coming for dinner in a couple weeks but I wont be able to make it because of class but you told me it was alright because you will take me out for a nice dinner soon and idk even small little things like that make me ever so happy.
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Wrapping up 17'
Well I have to say I'm wrapping up 2017 the same way I wrapped up 2016. I was pretty much in love with you and now I undoubtedly am in love with you. 2016 We were not actually dating and you still had your issues but I even remember thinking that I wanted so badly to say I love you when we went on our trip to New York together but I'm glad I waited. I'm glad it was actually said in a Mcdonalds parking lot after a day full of tripping and exploring Old man's cave while having lots of long discussions about a number of things. I'm glad it was said after a day of both of us having a lot of emotional distraught and realization. I'm glad you said it first. It was like a breath of air. I'm so happy 2017 turned out well in the end. The beginning was a little scary and we had a big fight leading us not to talk for a week. But then after that we hung out again and we slowly grew closer and closer and then firefly festival happened and I think that was when you knew that you were finally ready to date me and how could I blame you. It was unforgettable. So was Put In Bay weekend. I had so much fun. Then the rest of the summer just went by in a super quick blur of fun things. From renting the cabin on your birthday, to frequent trips to Cleveland, and a long vacation to myrtle beach where we would watch the solar eclipse which was amazing and I am so glad we got to experience it at some wacky hick eclipse party that we stumbled upon. Then I guess fall kind of flew by quickly too. We had some motorcycle rides and we did a couple fall things like doing a hay maze and pumpkin carving(you're so much better than me). Then I remember we took our trip to D.C. and that whole week was super exciting because the day before I would get to have thanksgiving with your Potokar family and it was so awesome to see them and they all for the most part remembered me, well blonde me! Your grandma made sure to say from all the way across the room "Hey who's that dark haired girl you've got with you, Jack!" and it was pretty funny! And D.C was a lot of fun too! It was a little chilly but not too bad! I remember we mastered the subway system! And after everything with DC December kind of flew by too with you being gone for two weeks which sucked but I'm so happy youre back now. And I can't wait to see what 2018 holds for us.
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Happy 2018 my love, another new year spent with you❤️
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email
long days at work always suck but today I emailed you from my personal account because I wanted you to send me your essay to look over and I wanted to be like your mom and gma who email you all the time haha. and then I got the cutest email ill post it cause I just love it so much. youre the cutest with your seasonal compliments
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dreamy...
so im sitting here at work nearing the end of a sucky 12 hour shift and the weather is super chilly and youre studying your ass off for exams but im still happy and not letting this winter depression get the best of me because before I know it, it will be summer and we'll be having countless adventures like going to parks and festivals and all kinds of shit :)
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December 2nd 2017
HOLY FUCK. I was about to write the date on this and I can’t believe it’s already December.... Where has this year gone? I started 2017 with you.... and it’s already the end and I’m still here.... in your bed, under all your covers, you’re studying and turned around a couple of minutes ago just to tell me I’m cute. I can’t keep up with everything we do or everything I feel about you. I wish I had the disicipline to write more but I guess I’m just too busy.. mainly with you so I guess that’s good right? Well.. I’m so frickin in love and I don’t think that will change soon. Though I am pretty scared for the two weeks you leave around christmas. I’m going to miss you so much
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Music,Drugs,Emotions
so this weekend was a complete rollercoaster I was not expecting. Saturday was September 30th 2017 and we were going to the glass animals concert that evening that we had been waiting to go to since forever. I remember I had slept over the night before and then went back to my place to get super cute for the concert. I had this weird 80s emo vibe going on haha. So you came over right before 6 and we dropped right at 6 and headed on our way to the concert. Express live was about an hour from my place so I downloaded uber but turns out I totally did not need it. And just like how acid always is, it took about an hour to kick in aka right when we got to express live because the line and all the people were confusing the hell out of me. The entrance confused me too lol. We finally got in and the outdoor express live is super cool!. we decided to plop down in the back and just chill for a bit and it was so nice. The weather was perfect. It took some time but the opener amber mark( you kept joking about amber rose) lol but she played and was actually pretty good and felt really good. we sat for her whole set and ended up getting some pizza in the middle and using the bathroom. I remember the bathroom was like a spaceship haha I was just like holllyyyy shiiiiit. and then we got some late night slice and I totally did not wanna eat it like I was cool with just holding it. I was like do I really want this. I put one bite in my mouth and it was over. It tasted so fucking good and you remember me demolishing it in like .2 seconds. Right after the Za glass animals finally came on and goddamn they are my favorite band they were so amazing and I danced to every single song and knew them all too! I loved it so much and had so much fun. After they finally ended sadly. You wanted to wait around inside for awhile and I wondered why and I even jokingly said lets not be the last people here again like firefly when they kicked us out. You told me the reason you didn't want to leave is because of all the times we could have seen your ex it would be on the way out. Im not sure why this bothered me but it did. I just was wondering why you were thinking about her and so what in reality I probably didn't want to run into her either so we got in a mini fight and eventually left. We took the long way back and just talked and walked down OSU campus until we got some pop from Mcdonalds and had a super weird encounter with that cashier lol. but we finally made it home and you told me to back up our stuff we were gonna get on the motorcycle and I was scared at first cause we were both still tripping so I finally decided what the hell. so we left on your motorcycle aafter apparently some dude got super beat up outside. We went over to Doms and chilled talked about some rick and morty theories all in the usual. we left and the motorcycle ride home felt so good and thrilling. I was shaking like all hell but it oddly enough still felt good. we finally got back to your house pretty late and turned on scott pilgrim vs the world. I still kinda felt like things were off between us. We watched that until I was falling asleep and then we finally laid down. you were acting a little weird and went to the bathroom. When you came back you laid down and had typed something a little bit on your blog and you erased it pretty quick but it almost looked like "im thinking about breaking up..." and then I couldn't let it gp or it would've torn me apart not knowing what was going on. I looked at you and you had a tear running down your face and I starting asking what was wrong and you kept telling me not to worry about it and you didn't want to talk about it right now but that wouldn't have solved anything so I kept pushing and you started crying more and eventually you were sobbing and told me over the past monyh you had been trying to find reasons to break up with me and I was super surprised and had no idea and before I knew it I was sobbing too. You told me but you couldn't find any reasons because I was too good to you. I was perfect and that you were the problem. You said the fact is im the one whos shit. and I just kept crying because I loved you and you said you still loved me too just its been a weird time. He said no one has ever broken up with him before and he said I should break with him. I didn't know what to do cause that's not what I wanted. And you also told me the reason you went to bathroom was to cry this out too. I cant exactly remember much more of what happened but I knew you were looking down on yourself and I told you I never believed you would fail I only believed that when you became big I hoped you wouldn't leave me. It was like 7am at this point and we had pulled an all nighter and all that crying def would not let us go back to sleep easily so you said maybe we should go get breakfast and so we did. we went to first watch looking all battered and rough but coffee and talking more helped a lot. I remember you also told me to talk you out of selling weed because it was stupid. I just want to do anything for you. I still am nervous about the way youre feeling but I love you.
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Feelings
I'm feeling a lot right now so I figured I'd write it out maybe it'll take a little weight off me. Last night was a pretty great night. Amazing sex. Popcorn. More breaking bad. Perfect night. And it was cold and sleeping together felt so good. Morning was going okay too until I checked your phone. I know most of those girls you never see but that fact that you're being over the phone still bothers me. I mean I hope I'm not wrong in assuming you'd be a little mad too if you saw me talking to guys like that. Maybe it's just cause I'm insecure and even though I know you care about me I still feel like you'd do it. I just I don't know how to feel I want to be mad but I also don't want to lose you. I want to hate you for making me feel like this but I also feel like it's my fault for not trusting you and snooping through your stuff. I know a perfect relationship is never something that will happen. But I'd like to think that you're pretty perfect for me. Idk I'm just caught in a bad place and all I want to do is trip hard at glass animals and forget everything.
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Letters
I happen to write you letters a lot..... Usually when something big happens or I just want to express my love in a different type of style for once. You said something to me not too long ago that made me kind of smile. I remember you were telling me that you wanted to know more about your dad. You had said you honestly didn't know much about him. You knew only bits and pieces. You told me you were going to talk to your mom soon about it but another thing you had said was that you wish your mom had letters.... or writings about your dad....... like how I write to you. Im not sure why that made me happy that I write so much about you. Whether you see this one day or I look back on it, it will definetly invoke a lot of emotion.
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