karukaru17

[karukaru17]

no sex and no city

I've started watching sex and the city last night and it has made me want to become a successful 30 year old woman. I started looking forward to my 30s as single unmarried women. Is that weird or does everybody long for something like that. I want to take writing classes I wish grammar would come easy to me but I just never seemed to understand those small little symbols. I don't know if maybe I overthink it or because I never seem to pause when I talk. The goals this week are to learn new words from the English language and to use periods. Also need to moderate my usage of the word 'ummmm' It's getting annoying. I need to finish some projects, but I'm still afraid of doing it wrong. Yeah, I could ask for help. I'm just embarrassed I hate feeling stupid and asking. I'll feel more stupid if I get a bad grade tho. I want to stop being afraid of judgement I wonder when I'll stop but I have to work on it. Looking back at the way I used to be I've certainly made more progress than I would have ever thought. Whatever, I want to go to sleep I should start on my project.

[karukaru17]

some yoongi gifs until he comes back home (18/?)

[karukaru17]

mother I can feel the soil falling over my head

#the smiths #pink aesthetic #pinkcore #soft pink #pastel #music #musica #good music #i need sleep #sleeping beauty

[karukaru17]

❊ ␥ 🎀˳ ☰ t-yummy

tummy full of edible gummies, im feeling yummy!

[karukaru17]

Outtakes of Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” album cover

Instagram @vrtlworld

[karukaru17]

“And if I show you my dark side, will you still hold me tonight?”

— Pink Floyd, “The Final Cut"

[karukaru17]

over or under or just whelmed

I could not sleep and I remember I would write on here. It's been so long but I really need somewhere to write down my thoughts. I have been living day by day and I've been in the most peaceful state but at the same time having internal panic because of the future and what is to become of me. I started reading the Elfhame book series and I've been loving it. I've been doing all the hobbies I've loved and listening to more music and just trying to experience life. I have gotten back into the gym and I just feel good. The only downside is having to go work at Walmart. I'm always on high alert because I feel like it would be so easy to get fired and I just don't think I can handle that. I still think about him but just a little less. Everything remind me of him from the moon to the rain every sound I hear has memories of him which is crazy because our friendship only lasted a few months. Sometimes it feels like nothing ever happened and last year is such a blur because mentally I hated myself I was probably in my lowest times, but he made it worthwhile... just a lil tho because I don't want to give a man credit for making me a better person that's so cringe but maybe he did. Ummmmm I graduate next month which is honestly crazy I did not think it would happen. I might cry when it happens because of everything I've been through these past years. Honestly it feels like Ive been in my twenties longer than I was in high school. Right now my goals or to go back to college for marketing and finding a job as a graphic designer something that will make me have a bit more experience. I'm so nervous for the future but I'm also SUPER EXCITED. I really need to go to sleep I have to take the kids to school tomorrow

#graduation #college #first generation #art #the stolen heir #reading #crush #hello my twenties

[karukaru17]

Sad girl

This is so embarrassing!!!! So the guy I was talking about my crush he left me on opened. This is the first time he does this but I guess he was getting bored. I honestly could already feel that he was because his replies were becoming short, but that still doesn't make it better. I just wish I could've went to something more. He has his own life now. New apartment, New place, new job, and New people he also probably needs space especially from me. I admit snapping everyday is kinda overwhelming I didn't think it would be like that but it was and I was probably replying too quick. I think this is a good thing though because today I didn't even check my phone. I mean I did but not as much. I did some self care. I oiled my hair I watched an Anne frank documentary and Im about to read a book. Having this small time to myself is so fun. Not worrying about taking a picture hoping this boy will think I'm pretty and hoping I will Gert a crumb of a compliment. Even though he probably didn't see me like that and just thought I was a girl. This is the bad part of having a crush you're always hopeful for things you start creating these fake scenarios in your head but it'll Never happen. You knew it would never happen but you still did it. I'm a little thankful for that though because last year I thought I would never feel like that but I did and it was fun while it lasted. I was able to hope about finding a guy and having an opportunity of getting my first kiss and it was exciting. ugh but now I have to go back to the reality of being alone and dreaming on my own. I love the memories I created with him because they were so fun and maybe in the future when we're older and mature we'll meet again and think of how dumb we were. But right now I will focus on building myself and becoming the person I want to be. Maybe be a better person who thinks of others and probably get a better job or career that pays so good I get to have my own place and have my own things. It's a little exciting Im actually really happy right now. ALRIGHT THAT WAS IT GOODBYE

#reading #books #currently reading #radio silence #art #crush #heartbreak #sadgirl #sad #life #lifestyle #future #20 years old #20s #20 something #posters #women #female #female rage

[karukaru17]

Silly things

Last time I wrote I think I said I was going to meet up with some friends. It's been a while but I just wanted to write how much I appreciate my friends. We talked in a sonic drive thru. The sun was setting and it just stoped raining and the air was humid. I was burning up but my friend was cold so I had the ac on low facing me. I had to buy some flipflops from Walmart because the slippers I had on were dirty and gross. When we got to sonic we were making small talk. Honestly I don't even remember I just remember laughing and thinking we were going to just meet up for a bit and then I would go home. I was soooo wrong about that because we started talking about our experiences and the struggles of coming from an immigrant household and dealing with the expectations our parents have for us and we cried and comforted each other and it just felt like I wasn't alone with everything I was dealing with. I had so much in my head and I was finally able to talk about it. After the crying and trauma dumping I don't know what got into us but the H WORD talk started. I told them how I was friends with this guy and I showed them a picture and they were shocked because that guy is pretty. So they grabbed my phone and started sending him provocative.. not really.... maybe I DONT KNOW TEXTS!!!! but I'm not like that I'm really shy but I do have a tiny itty bitty crush on this guy but I'm too scared to say anything. When they sent that he was so confused asking if I was pranking him and why was I talking that way because I don't talk like that. We had to back track and tell him to ignore it because I got embarrassed and I didn't want to scare him more. If you're reading this you probably think I'm a teenager but IM 21 YEARS OLD AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I DO THIS. I know there's many girls like me who were sheltered all there teenage years and are barely experiencing this but I don't know anyone that could share this with me and my friends are helping me. AHHHHHHH so embarrassing. I wonder what I will think a year from now??? WHAT WILL CHANGE!!?? It's a little scary but it's fun. Well I already wrote a lot I AM SO SORRY!!!

#art #crazy #childhood trauma #trauma #latin girls #latina #mexican #tacos #chicana #20 years old #early twenties #hello my twenties #hornyyy #lmaooo #funny #sadgirl #emotinal #crush #boy #pretty #lovely #curly hair

[karukaru17]

Silly things

Last time I wrote I think I aid I was going to meet up with some friends. It's been a while but I just wanted to write how much I appreciate my friends. We talked in a panic drive thru. The sun was setting and it just stoped raining and the air was humid. I was burning up but my friend was cold so I had the ac on low facing me. I had to buy some flipflops from Walmart because the slippers I had on were dirty and gross. When we got to sonic we were making small talk. Honestly I don't even remember I just remember laughing and thinking we were going to just meet up for a bit and then I would go home. I was soooo wrong about that because we started talking about our experiences and the struggles of coming from an immigrant household and dealing with the expectations our parents have for us and we cried and comforted and it just felt like I wasn't alone with everything I was dealing with. I had so much in my head and I was finally able to talk about it. After the crying and trauma dumping I don't know what got into us but the H WORD talk started. I told them how I was friends with this guy and I showed them a picture and they were shocked because that guy is pretty. So they grabbed my phone and started sending him provocative.. not really.... maybe I DONT KNOW!!!! but I'm not like that I'm really shy but I do have a tiny itty bitty crush on this guy but I'm too scared to say anything. When they sent that he was so confused asking if I was pranking him and why was I talking that way because I don't talk like that. We had to back track and tell him to ignore it because I got embarrassed and I didn't want to scare him more. If you're reading this you probably think I'm a teenager but IM 21 YEARS OLD AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I DO THIS. I know there's many girls like me who were sheltered all there teenage years and are barely experiencing this but I don't know anyone that could share this with me and my friends are helping me. AHHHHHHH so embarrassing. I wonder what I will think a year from now??? WHAT WILL CHANE!!?? It's a little scary but it's fun. Well I already wrote a lot I AM SO SORRY!!!

[karukaru17]

“The bravest thing you can ever do, is to stay kind and soft even when the world has been cruel to you.”

— Nikita Gill

[karukaru17]

Why are titles so difficult!!!

I don't know why Im so nervous to post this. This is officially my first 'journal' entry on here. I will try to update as much as I can but I will only update if there is anything interesting going on. I decided not to care about grammar or anything because it will give me more anxiety to post if I care about that. I SUCK AT GRAMMAR!!!!!! I woke up early this morning but there was no point in it because I stayed in bed looking at my phone so the morning was pretty much wasted. Im going out with my friend tonight! Im super excited. I will make fake names for my friends so I can't talk about them on here but if anybody were to find this they don't know. I'll name this friend.... JULIE! She went on a date yesterday night and I want her to tell me all about it. Julia is a few years older than me and I look up to her a lot. Im the oldest in my family so I LOVEEEE HAVING OLDER FRIENDS!!! Over the last few months I became friends with this one boy who was in my speech class last year. He is really cute and we were Lowkey flirting when we first started texting but we got into an argument and now we're just friends but I want to go back to how we used to be. Julie keeps making fun of me because she says I'm a little mean with the way I talk. I have never talked to a boy or flirted or anything so I really do not know what Im doing. but I think he's really cute and fun. WHOEVER READS THIS PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE! Or at least tell me I'm not the only one who is this way. One more thing before I go summer classes are ending next week and I have a bunch of homework I need to do so I will be going to a cafe today to try and finish everything. I will take some pictures so I can post them on here. I will probably comeback tonight to update on how my day went.

Here's a little doodle I made a few days ago. I have to practice on drawing boys this mans eyes are a little wonky. OKAYY PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUT

#art #boy #girl #girlblogging #cute #illustration #love #carime #aesthetic #core #cottage core #crisis core #20 #gemini #date #help #girl help

[karukaru17]

Changes

Ive been wanting to try new things. My life has been in a constant cycle of just wakeup, hate my life, go to work, and sleep. I’ve been wanting to try things I’ve been wanting to do when I was a teen. I was very sheltered during my teen years and now that I'm an adult I have better opportunities to do everything I’ve been wanting to do. I decided to start uploading things on here because my instagram is very precise on what I post and twitter has gone to poop. Tumblr is now my only option. A few things about my self I'm a 21 year old Latina. I am still living with my parents and I suck at managing my money. I love anything in the arts I LOVE taking pictures and making videos. I'm very shy and insecure but I love making friends and hanging out. 

#karime #music #latina #adulting #diary #interesting #art #film #twitter #x

[karukaru17]

Alex Turner - Electric Lady Studios, 2009

(Source)

[karukaru17]

[karukaru17]

[karukaru17]

SUGA is seen outside arrivals of the Valentino Haute Couture Spring Summer 2023 show as part of Paris Fashion Week on January 25, 2023 in Paris, France.