raviolisfor2

[raviolisfor2]

#hello kitty #sylvia plath #sotce inspired #sotce #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #poem #poets on tumblr #poetry #my poetry #vent #tw self destructive behavior #self h@rm #actuallymentallyill #self mutalition #real #aesthetic

[raviolisfor2]

why cant I post images on tumblr? wth mark? fix ur shit fucktard

#cant post on tumblr #zuck isnt doing his job

[raviolisfor2]

fuck u and ur morals tumblr

[raviolisfor2]

why can't I post shit

[raviolisfor2]

#sotce inspired #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #vent #tw self destructive behavior #self h@rm #actuallymentallyill #dark acadamia aesthetic #lana del ray aesthetic #girlblogger #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #girlblogging #dark femme

[raviolisfor2]

this is forever. this is home.

#lana del ray aka lizzy grant #tw self destructive behavior #self h@rm #self destruction #self mutalition #tw self h4rm #scars #vent #bloody tissues #sharpner blades

[raviolisfor2]

Brutally honest

You told me to be brutally honest with you about myself and everything I feel

Would you love me the same if I was?

Or would you look at me like that girl in 8th grade looked at me?

Would you still love me the same if I told you my heart feels lighter after my father died?

Or would you think that I’m a cold blooded sociopath?

Would you still love me the same if I told you that the most loved I’ve ever felt was when it was against my will, telling them to stop?

Would you think that there’s something fundamentally wrong with me?

Would you still think I’m the most beautiful in the world if I showed what is under these over-sized top and pants covering every inch of my skin?

Or would you look away in disgust or maybe pity?

Would you look at me with the same adoration if I told you I wanted to burn all the butterflies in 3rd grade because they were so beautiful and free and had such a short life?

Would you be able to look me in the eye if I told you that you were a reason for a scar on my thigh?

Would you still think that I’m a good person if I told you everything I feel guilty for?

Would you still love me if I wanted to die?

Would you still love me after I die?

Would I still be the prettiest girl you’ve ever laid eyes on after 10 years?

Be brutally honest with me

#my poetry #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #dark academia #quotes #shblr #shtumblr #writersociety #lana del ray aka lizzy grant

[raviolisfor2]

a truce with sadness

#sad poem #sadgirl #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #my poetry #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #vent #vent poetry #this sadness is forever #truce #english literature #literature #quotes #dark academia #desiblr

[raviolisfor2]

I AM SOBBING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-Must be a nice dream.

[raviolisfor2]

this flopped so bad 🥲👍

oh well.

[raviolisfor2]

I started praying again, maybe there's someone who can still save me.

#desi tag #desi stuff #desi love #desi tumblr #desiblr #being desi #prayer #desi aesthetic #desi culture #desicore aesthetic #desi academia #desi things

[raviolisfor2]

I take a deep breath

But no amount of air fills the empty hole inside

I wonder if it would go away after death?

That theory I unsuccessfully tried

All the days seemed to blur together

I can't remember a single one

I didn't want to be here, but whatever

Eventually this will all be over and done

I started to distance myself

As to avoid hurting people when the inevitable came

Soon i would just be a memory on some shelf

I didn't think it would end this way, what a shame

As the days went on, the voices got louder "what are you waiting on? Pull the trigger." They said

Maybe i was hoping to make little me prouder

But why would that matter if i was dead?

Maybe i hoped for better

But i don't care about that anymore

Because now i sit here and write this in my journal

Reminiscing on the days before

#poem #my poetry #poetry #poets on tumblr #vent #vent poetry #literature #english literature #desiblr

[raviolisfor2]

is everything going to be okay?

and even if everything is going to be okay. when?

how long?

days? weeks? months? years?

what if i can't make it that long?

what if it's all too much?

no my life is not all bad

but there is so much bad

everywhere i look

no matter which way i go

I want out

I want out so bad.

someday

someday I'll get out

One way or another

I pour my soul into these pages

Hoping it would give some release

To my head, that's been drowning me for ages

But i still can't find my peace

I just need to feel okay

But how?

I think and think and think

Maybe it would be easier if someone would stay

But they all leave in a blink

Perhaps i push them away

I don't mean to

God why am I that way?

At this point i don't know what to do

Like a boat lost in the sea

No land in sight

I scream for help, no one's there, just me

I might just give up on this fight

The waves would still crash

The sun would still rise

It would be over in a flash

No one cares about my demise

Or so i feel.

#literature #english literature #desiblr #poem #my poetry #poetry #poets on tumblr #vent poetry #dark academia #quotes

[raviolisfor2]

Three truths and one lie

One. I still love them. I met them in my dream. I met them in my dream last night. I got to hold them and rest my head on their shoulder while i cried. I told them "you know it gets lonely sometimes without you. I miss telling you about all the stupid things happening in my day. I miss having you listen to why my day was bad. Yesterday when i wasn't able to sleep, everyone was there, sending me songs that would help me sleep, but i missed talking to you continuously about random things that make you laugh, giggle and smile which put me to sleep sooner. I miss you"

Two. I am a jigsaw puzzle with pieces of people i loved even for a second. I make pasta the way a boy i met on the internet told me to. I look at clouds and make heart shaped stuff to send them to a girl who told me that flowers when given with love never rot, they stay alive like your love. I miss the little girl in the restaurant who told me that kisses never go wasted, they find their way to the lover. Before going to bed every night, i tell someone i love you right when the clock hits 12. I am built of many yous and love they left in me.

Three. When it rains, i run out like a little girl and sail paper boats in the puddles. I dance there like no one is watching. I sing songs like no one is listening. And when the thunders start, i run back inside and look at the lightning streaks while i sit there, write poems about the boy who stomped on my heart like it was the mat in my grandma's house.

Four. I am listening to a playlist over and over again. I am trying to put all the lyrics of these songs in my brain and repeat it until it stops making sense. I read this somewhere, when you start repeating things in your head, they stop making sense. But i can't seem to get tired of it. I can't get tired of loving. Maybe i will take their name in my head for more hundred times and then it will stop making sense.

#literature #english literature #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #desiblr #dark academia #quotes

[raviolisfor2]

Writing love poems without being loved is perhaps one of the toughest things I do as a poet.

Shayan Das

[raviolisfor2]

Only a few months after my dad died,

I began to forget the sound of his voice.

I forgot the insignificant moments that made him my father and me, his dearest child.

The same happened when i lost a friend, then another, then another, and i forgot the sound of their voices.

I forgot why they called me their friend, or why i called them mine.

I was never afraid of forgetting the big stuff,

but it shook me to imagine if I'd forget the trivial, undiluted, everyday stuff;

and then it happened and i forgot all the colours,

what remained was this lingering feeling of how much i loved the painting,

and how much I wanted the painting to love me back.

#literature #english literature #poetry #my poetry #poem #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #daddy issues

[raviolisfor2]

you ruined the sky for me.

when i look up to see the clouds all i can remember is how i used to put my head on your shoulder speaking in poetry, how you used to eat my lunch because i don't usually eat lunch, how i used to trace mundane but beautiful english adjectives on to the palms of your hand, how you used to kiss the skin of my neck which soon will be met with a rope. you promised. you broke it.

liar.

#poetry #my poetry #english literature #literature #poets on tumblr #sky photography #cloudphotography #pretty skies #blue skies #pink skies #clouds #pink clouds