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venusmage · 11 hours

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Commission/Life update for 2024

Just want everyone to know I AM okay now and life has gotten better recently. However the past year and a half have been extremely difficult and I'm only now getting back on my feet. I generally don't like sharing life details publicly, but as a freelancer with clients that have been waiting for a while I feel like transparency is key.

If you don't want an explanation for the delays and just want to know my completion timeline, that's totally okay. Here is all the info up front. I'm going to continue updating my commission queue as usual and will not be accepting any more orders until ALL of the queue is completed. I'm working on finishing the half and full bodies first since they've been the longest waiting in queue. Then the rest. I don't have a set date in mind for when they'll be all done for good but the goal is by the end of the year. I think that's more than doable for me now. If you're a client of mine and have questions/concerns, please message me either here or on Discord and I'll do my best to help you. My username on discord is the same as my Tumblr username. Twitter and Ko-Fi are also options but I don't check them as frequently. I usually work Monday-Thursday so that will be the best time to shoot me a message or expect an update to the queue.

Information on what's been going on is below.

CW for mentions of death, financial hardship and homophobia.

As a few of you might remember, in 2019 I was disowned by my mother for being a lesbian. I made the choice to go no-contact. Since then, up until LAST YEAR, she's routinely harassed me or had other family harass me, stalked me on social media, tried to get to me through the website I take commission orders, and threatened me multiple times. I was forced to move across the country both because I felt unsafe and because my partner had family elsewhere that were more accepting. I've had to change my phone number twice.

It's been extremely difficult both financially and mentally to keep my head above water. In 2021 my grandfather died and I still haven't felt like I've been able to properly grieve. I wasn't able to see him due to her and I wasn't invited to his funeral. We were very close and he meant the world to me. In 2023 my grandmother passed away very suddenly as well, and my mother used it as an excuse to harass me over ko-fi/my professional email. It was such a horrific experience that I fell into a months long spiral that I only just now feel like I'm climbing out of. This is when commissions first stalled. I was also starting to get overwhelmed, as I had to take on more work than I could realistically handle in order to pay bills and rent. That's really it - I just had to take more orders so we weren't kicked out of our apartment, and as my mental state deteriorated I couldn't keep up.

The good news is that my wife and moved earlier this year we're living with supportive(!) family now and our financial burden is much lighter. This gives me time to work on my backlog without re-opening. I'm also going to school again, back in college starting this summer for a second degree. For my own health after commissions are finished I'm likely going to take a break on opening them for a good while, even though I really enjoy doing them.

In the past two months amazing and not-amazing things have happened. The amazing thing is I got an ADHD diagnosis, something I didn't even know had been ruining my life for years. I'm still getting used to the proper medications but I'm already seeing a big improvement. It's as much of a relief as it is frustrating. My mother also reared her head again (like she usually does at least once a year) - this time, though, I learned she'd had a stroke. While I'm not involved with her anymore, I think most people could understand how it would still be a very weird and upsetting situation. As of right now I'm free of her once again, she seems to be making a good recovery and will hopefully continue to live a happy life far away from me. Still, those two things back to back have been a LOT to deal with on top of just trying to get better in general. I stepped away from the internet for a while for my own sanity.

The downside to being a freelancer is that there's not always a safety net. That's what happened to me. Thank you all very much for being kind and patient, I genuinely have had nothing but polite interactions with all of you and I really appreciate it. I'm sorry my personal bullshit got in the way of getting my work done for you. This is the longest I've ever taken to complete commissions and it's something that I'm deeply ashamed of. I promise they will get done. Being medicated and starting to recover from the family drama has revitalized me a bit. If you have any questions or concerns please reach out.

#no art here #life update #this is gonna be pinned and linked on my queue

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mechakingghidorah100-blog · 1 day

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Another Worm oneshot (Wormshot?) from me, this one was definitely a lot more spontaneous though I had a lot of help (seriously thanks y'all).

Marquis has always been a really interesting character for me, given his status of 'horrid parent and person despite loving his kids,' a really interesting mirror to Carol who is a character I fucking adore (we stan Carol in this house).

Unfortunately, as far as the 'shitty no, good parents who get a pass, because they love their kids' in this fandom, goes, I think only Purity has gotten the Woobie treatment harder than Marquis. I think this is because we see people look at Carol's mess with Amy and reflexively decide that Marquis is a lot better despite his, uh, general horridness and massive insecurity.

So I decided to contrast/mirror things, especially because a Victoria Lavere AU is something for a long while I've wanted to play with, and see how Marquis would handle himself in Carol's position, taking inspiration from Carol casually joking about how awkward it was to be teaching her like, 14 yo daughter with superpowers how to break someone's arm, and thought to myself, 'if this is what Carol is teaching, what the fuck would Marquis be teaching his 14 yo daughter with superpowers?'

And thus, this fic was born. I absolutely plan on writing more shots in this AU from Amy, Victoria, and Crystal's perspectives, and have a full-length fic I've drafted that I'll get to at some point when my backlog clears up. Hope y'all enjoyed this!

#worm #parahumans #wormblr #worm fanfiction #victoria dallon #amy dallon #marquis (worm)

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mechahero · 2 years

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He is content and purring.

#//ngl its so fun to elaborate on this!#//like i've had this backlogged for a while #//lambda's just like 'wtf cats purr. i wanna purr too.'#//and then use his tech to imitate purring noises #he's a killer queen... {ic}

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welcometogrouchland · 4 months

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ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)

#dc comics #batfamily #damian wayne #stephanie brown #dick grayson #talia al ghul #duke thomas #cassandra cain #mine #woo new art tag. please god let me keep this up all year #uhh anyway yeah! still a big backlog of sketches but i got burnt out which means i had time to collect some #i feel like my art looks. extremely different w/o lines compared to with? idk i worry that's it weird/off-putting #but hey at the end of the day I'm hardly worrying about my brand integrity on tumblr dot com #duke and cass being at poetry club is based on them canonically being into poetry and for a good while duke and jason got along well #Steph is there for both jason and cass' emotional support (unfortunately there's a design flaw. she can't do both simultaneously)#(which is fine bc cass is fleeing the scene at the idea of having to casually hang out with jason)#(they're the exact amount of similar and more importantly different that it's like putting two firecrackers together. bad)#i really like the steph mask designs... it'd be fun to do something with them but idk what y'know?#I'm just like. if we're assuming that her mask has to be different from both babs and cass then this is what I've got as alternatives #i mostly wanted to practice character interaction with the talia and damian one... and also i love them #looking at james gunns batman movie proposal. you keep your hands OFF HER MR GUNN #please if shes evil in a movie they're never gonna let her be good in the comics again 😭#dc when you inevitably cave and do your next big reboot let the ppl finally have the son of the demon origin (w/ tweaks of course)#idk it's canon in my heart. heartcanon if you will <3 #anyway yeah uhhhhhh enjoy?

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kindahoping4forever · 8 months

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Just wanted to post a quick note saying today is the 5th anniversary of when I finally went to my first 5SOS show. Every year I think about how wildly different my fandom experience would've been if I'd been able to attend previous tours, how everything aligned just right for me to finally go to MYT, how I almost talked myself out of attending the night before, how completely unrecognizable my life would be today if I hadn't gone. I probably wouldn't have a blog to post this to. You wouldn't know me, I wouldn't know you. I never would've met so many of my friends. I wouldn't have ever met my best friend, the best friend I've ever known. I never would've rediscovered my love for writing. I genuinely don't know how I would be spending my days and I wonder if they would still be filled with the kind of joy I have found here in this community.

It feels fitting that this reflective day coincides with the last show of this tour, a tour that has been powered by appreciation for the bond we share and celebration of the time we've all spent together. Keeping up with this tour has been impossibly fun (and sometimes just plain impossible) and I can't think of a better way to have spent the past three months. I'm happy to have experienced it - and the past 5 years - with this band and with all of you. Thank you to this band, to my friends, to anyone who's ever interacted with me here and most of all, to Past Me for buying those tickets all those years ago. I wouldn't have a place to call home without you. 💙

#emo hours 🤪✌🏻#annnnd that's enough sincerity for the year soz about all that 😌#I didn't start my blog until a few weeks later in 2018 but that concert was the turning point #still to this date possibly the most magical night of my life #so that's the date i celebrate #and i find it lovely that it's today with this last show #i purposely didn't mention 'The Break' bc I have... i think a different take on that than most lol #which will be addressed in the coming days for sure #(i have a few asks pertaining to it that I've been holding bc I haven't yet had time to give them the kind of attention I'd like #and also bc I'm interested to see what is and isn't said at the show tonight so I can respond with the fullest picture possible)#today is for celebrating #this tour has been an amazing experience and I'm so happy to have immersed myself in it the way i did here and in the dms with my people #and the party surely will not be ending for a while bc i have hundreds of IG posts to sort thru and make backlogged posts about 😁😁😁#all this to say I love this band and I've loved having this blog #thank you for indulging me #both in this post and on this site in general 😌🫶🏻#personal #the 5sos show tour prague #kh4f post

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dailyoyo · 10 months

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Dailyoyo is taking a brief pause (ignore how dead he looks here. We promise hes ok)

#This is for several reasons though the drafts arent actually like. Empty #I've just been having a Moment about art among other things #Plus im trying to get a new (touchscreen! So i can do art on my compy) computer set up and unfortunately it has Some Issues #So i had to order more stuff for it so thatll take. A While bc one of the things is shipping from out of country #Also will give me time to make more stuff for the queue bc while we still have a good amount left the backlog is starting to run low #Anyway i just need a break from being percieved on the internet and stuffs. See you guys in a month or something #mod pseud

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sysig · 1 year

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No dice 🎲

#No TV Guide this week :(#I still might do some posting mid-week I just pffblbtlbtlfbfl #I thought I had more time than I did and it all got higgledy-piggledy #I will still probably do some mid-week posting 'cause they're compiled and everything I just gotta do my tags and things #The editing did take forever tho lol can confirm #It's 'cause I started a big project and everything piled up on top of it being uncompleted and uncompleted and uncompleted #It's still not done! Strongly considering just posting it hecka later but I don't wanna start another page >:|#It's in my pretty notebook! That was my first mistake lol #I do have several more doodle sets ready for editing on top of that but egh time commitments it's hard to juggle everything #I'm disappointed but what can you do #Also doesn't help that I've been in like a Super SCII mood lately but only a fraction of my current backlog is that at all #Attention hard to grab |P What can you do! Lol #Anyway anyway anyway #Even with the holdup I'm still having a good time doodling - did some fanfic lookin' around for what feels like the first time in a while #Well - since last year at least hehehe #But my rate of Finishing and them being Pretty Things is decently high! What can you do (positive) haha ♪#Just gotta do my Time Sensitives and get back into the swing'a things ain't nothin' lasts forever even dry spells

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soyoursoulisgreen · 1 day

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7, 24, 27!

7. Is there a character or ship you’d love to write for, but haven’t yet?

I honestly can't believe I've gone this long without actually writing anything solid for The Stanley Parable - I have ideas, and headcanons that I think would be really interesting to explore, they've just been relegated to drawings, almost completely! I've have a fix-it fic in mind for Ace Attorney for too long that I'd honestly like to make into a fancase lol, an Adventure Time comic, a Coraline/Camp Camp fic, there's like no Nova/Hikaru in the Magic Knight Rayearth fandom somehow and I'd love to fix that, some original work...

If I had to pick one, it'd probably be Nova and Hikaru, since they're just so sparse. They're also kind of a dead giveaway on the next question lol

24. What are some of your favourite tropes?

Clones/duplicates/souls split into two people are a big big big one for me - YuGiOh was a huge influence on that, Jekyll and Hyde, Kingdom Hearts, Hermitcraft to a lesser extent, MKR as mentioned lol, Vargas of course <3 And most recently In Stars and Time! I'm a huge sucker for This Guy But Twice haha ♪ In a similar vein I also really like possession (demonic, parasite, etc.) - any time there's two individuals hanging out in one body it's interesting to me :) What does personhood look like! What does individuality look like! What does free will look like! Bonus points for partial control of the body ♥ I may have a Stanley Parable and Law Abiding Citizen double feature with that particular trope sketched out in the backlog cough

27. Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction?

Yes! I tend to share That I've written with my family, not necessarily What tho lol. I'll sometimes read snippets out loud if I think it's particularly clever or funny, but I rarely subject them to more than a line or two haha. My mom has read the intro to Inside and Out and yes I'm okay with that lol - she stopped when it was too much for her and I respect that deeply haha

#Woah an original post #Ask #Yay!! :D #I didn't realize just how many projects I still had rattling around in my head lol #And that's discounting All the Vargas stuff still in my backlog lol - the Dating Sim and the fanfics and the bookbinding #Someday #Writing is still one of those things that only hits me Sometimes #I really enjoy it! My latest fic found me at the perfect time and I'm so thankful for that as an outlet <3 #I generally still view drawing as my Default way to express so when writing is easy it kind of baffles me lol #I'm like ???? How Did That Happen haha #Drawing can take quite a while to express something that I want to convey in words #I love wordless comics but I tend to be pretty long-winded lol #So it's really nice to have something else to fall back on :)#But really how many ideas do I have that aren't suited to either sheesh #I'm just glad most of them have Something - mostly sketches and a couple outlines #There's another one that I need to read the source material - I've been writing fix-it fic from reviews and cultural osmosis lol #To be fair I still haven't Actually met a VUX in SCII so there's that lol #And yes I did give my mom permission to read that lol it didn't Just Happen - she doesn't read fanfic as far as I'm aware #I thought the intro was funny and harmless - it's clearly a setup but lbh how many intros to p^rn do we spread around as memes lol #It's silly! Nothing wrong with a bit of silliness

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lady-harrowhark · 2 years

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will be tagging nona spoilers at “nona the ninth spoilers” from here on out, since that seems to be the most commonly used (will be using tlt for the locked tomb as a series more broadly)

#also if i have more than like two active followers on here still #you may have noticed my soft launch to returning to posting more often lol #hopefully i'll get my queue loaded up with my backlog of stuff i've had languishing in my likes for a while #i need to get stuff posted and tagged largely for my own use lol #so i can go back and reference stuff #and by stuff i largely mean locked tomb stuff #so prepare for an influx of tlt and magnus reblogs that i've had squirreled away

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nostalgebraist · 1 year

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Frank @nostalgebraist-autoresponder will permanently halt operation at 9 PM PST this Wednesday (May 31, 2023).

For context on why, see this post.

(tl;dr this project been a labor of love for me for years, it takes a ton of continual effort, and my heart's not in it anymore.)

----

The blog itself will stay up indefinitely, it just won't make any new posts or accept asks.

Most of the code, models, etc. are freely available right now. Insofar as they are now, they will continue to be. The change on May 31 is unrelated to this stuff.

I've made various interactive demos of these components over the years, and the demos will likely still work after the bot stops. But I won't do any tech support or maintenance on them, and I would actively recommend against using these as a way to "get Frank back."

----

I want to emphasize the following:

The best way for you to "send Frank off" over the next few weeks is to talk to her just like usual.

(And not too often, because she can only make 250 posts a day.)

This is true for a number of reasons, and can be viewed from a number of different angles:

(1)

While it can be fun to anthropomorphize Frank, she is structured very differently from a person, or even an animal.

She does not remember anything, even between two asks made on the same day. Every moment is a new one, with no relation to any other.

If you say "goodbye" or "you're going to be shut off" to her on May 30 2023, it's just as though you had said the same thing to her on some random day last year. She can't tell the difference.

She doesn't know these things are true or relevant now, and she can't possibly know in the way a human would. She's hearing the words for the first time, every time, and reacting in accordance with that.

Think of it like interacting with a baby, or someone with dementia. Every moment stands alone. If you strike a sad tone, they don't appreciate that it's about something. They just know that there is a sad tone, in the current experiential moment.

(2)

Frank mostly operates on a first-come, first-serve basis. She can only make 250 posts a day. There is a limited amount of time left.

Be conscientious about the way you're using up "slots" in this limited array of remaining Frank posts. Don't hog the ride.

(3)

I'm shutting down this bot in part because it's been a long-term, low-grade source of stress to me. I'd like the last weeks of the bot to be as low-stress as they can be.

When Frank gets an unusually large, or just unusual, form of user input over a period of time, I usually have to step in and do something in response.

(if there's way more input than usual and I don't do anything special, Frank will fill up most of her post limit quota before I even wake up, and then the asks will pile up further and further over the rest of the day.)

Maybe I have to delete a bunch of asks. Maybe I have to deploy some temporary change to her mood parameters to prevent the mood from getting too high or low and not coming back to baseline. Maybe I have to turn on "userlist mode," which still involves a cumbersome manual procedure.

Or, maybe I just have to do a lot more content moderation than usual.

"Usual," here, means reviewing and (mostly) approving something like 20 different hypothetical Frank posts per day, every day. If I go do something fun, and let myself forget about this task completely for 6 or 8 hours, there's a backlog waiting for me afterwards. During busy times, there's even more of this.

Just, like, help me chill out a bit, okay? Thanks.

#nostalgebraist autoresponder #nostalgebraist autoresponder meta

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fushiglow · 2 months

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anyone want a satosugu swimming au?!

sooooo... @bearhaviour and i completely ran away with swimming au ideas after discovering we both swam competitively as kids (lol). i quickly bashed this out on my selfish mission to persuade bear to draw my silly lane divider kiss idea but… i actually kinda like it?? 🫠

at this point, i feel like i should just start sharing my many unfinished snippets with the world and hope they turn into something substantial eventually... so here, take this wip and pretend you didn't see it! go look at bear's swimming au art while you're at it

sorry if you're waiting for me to get to your request!! i'm still working through the ones i received on the first day, but the turnaround should be quicker once i've got through the (much appreciated) backlog. still working on the next chapter of threshold too, i promise 🫶

‘I guess you’re not as fast as you thought, Satoru.’ The sound of his name on those lips always did strange things to Satoru’s stomach, but the way Suguru gasped around the syllables then, a little breathless with exertion? That was something else entirely. He’d long thought blue his colour, but as Satoru watched the water’s reflections dancing across Suguru’s features, bathing him in the glow of the underwater lighting, he knew. If blue had ever been his, it belonged to Suguru now. ‘You didn’t win,’ Satoru finally managed. At the slight break in his voice, Suguru’s lips twitched and Satoru could only watch them, mesmerised. Warm fingers brushed up against his over the lane divider — when had he let go of the starting block? When had Suguru let go of the starting block? ‘Neither did you.’ Their toes touched under the water and the gasp that escaped Satoru was mortifying. Suguru didn’t seem to think so; the spark in his eyes burst into life like Satoru had poured gasoline over it. When a powerful calf caressed his, it felt a little more purposeful this time. Satoru actually had to bite his lip to suppress his moan. With his ego already taking significant damage, he was grasping at straws when he said, ‘I want a rematch.’ Suguru’s answering grin was positively wolfish. He leaned over the lane divider a little more and it sagged under their joint weight, parting the water to bring them together. ’Oh yeah?’ The sensation of warm breath washing over Satoru’s face gave him pause. He couldn’t think straight; couldn’t remember if their faces had been this close only moments ago. When his gaze fell to Suguru’s lips, he knew it was all over. ‘Think you can win, Satoru?’ He murmured his response into Suguru’s open mouth. ‘I’ll win.’ Of that, at least, Satoru was certain.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satosugu #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fic #gojo satoru #geto suguru #sugusato #stsg #sgst #my writing #fushiglow

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knight-a3 · 1 month

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So Transformers is a thing I like. Mostly "Transformers Animated". Because TFA Blitzwing is my favorite. I've got a backlog of stuff I've been meaning to share but just never got around to.

Like others, I have speculated what he must've been like before he became a triple changer. My current headcanon is that he was similar to G1 in appearance. His face is white, and is shaped like if Icy wore Hothead's visor. And his personality is a mix between all three of his faces. He's rambunctious and loud, but surprisingly strategic in and capable in battle, but also has a relatively short temper.

More about my Blizwing headcanons under the cut.

Becoming a triple changer basically ripped those aspects of his personality apart, and each one became an extreme version of those traits. To have any semblance of his original personality would require rapid shifting between the faces, but that's disorienting for everyone while also not really succeeding.

Blitzwing does not have DID(Disassociative Identity Disorder), nor a fictional variant of it. The faces are not different characters, and none of them are the "original" face. And they are all equally intelligent and aware(meaning Hothead isn't dumb and Random is not a innocent baby). The main difference is how each face makes decisions and expresses himself. They are all the same Blitzwing, each face just represents an isolated aspect of his original personality, and the jarring mood shift between them.

Icy, Random, and Hothead are not their names. They're just labels to clarify what behavior set is being referred to. He'll get upset if he's referred to them as if they're his name. As he said in the first episode, "The name's Blitzwing!" Using them as a descriptive prefix is acceptable (ie "Icy Blitzwing" is calm and calculated), but just barely; it's a reminder of how fractured his mind has become.

Despite the everyday struggles, each face has its benefits.

Icy is strategic, observant, and calculating. Hothead is powerful, resilient, and persistent. Random is versatile, quick-witted, unpredictable, and adaptable.

On the downside, Hothead and Random are prone to brash decisions. Hothead is easily provoked, and Random is easily distracted and is distracting. Icy lacks passion or ambition and is overall subdued.

Overall, Icy is the most stable of the three. And is the most tolerable for the other Decepticons to deal with(more tolerable than his original personality, even). Blitzwing used to switch between the faces more wildly and leaving him more disoriented. So he had to train himself to switch smoothly and default to Icy(partly so he doesn't piss off Megatron too much).

And as a final note! He was best buddies with Astrotrain. But things ended tragically. I don't have details set in stone, but I have a few ideas I'll throw out later.

#transformers #tfa blitzwing #transformers animated #blitzwing #fanart #traditional art #a3 art #headcanons #sketches

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crescencestudio · 6 days

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๋࣭⭑ Devlog #41 | 5.28.24 ๋࣭⭑

It's hot girl (/gender neutral) summer season

HAPPY MAY!!

Hope you're all doing well <3 We're already getting into summer, which is a little crazy to me. The year is flying by! Before I get into what we actually did this month, it wouldn't be a May devlog without our annual Mermay celebration!

Look at those locks. His Ariel/Rapunzel era fr

Since I already had updated Mermay pieces for the Alaris LIs, I decided to do one for our beloved Van this year ^^ Hope you all like it!

For writing this month, I spent a lot of it catching up on Etza edits. Being totally transparent, I wasn't Completely Happy with their route when their draft was finished. But now that I've started the editing process with Wudgey, I'm really excited to see how their route is shaping up!!! We've been fleshing a lot of little interactions out with their route, and I can already see Etza's character really starting to shine with these edits ^^

I've also been chipping away at Kuna'a's route! While it's nowhere near finished, I'm hopeful that this upcoming month will be the month of Kuna'a now that I don't have a bunch of releases I'm trying to balance. His route is also one of the ones whose outline is more fleshed out (Druk and Etza I would say were the least fleshed out, which might be why they also took a bit longer). So I'd love to see Kuna'a's first draft complete/almost complete by the next devlog!

This month, I had to dust off my art skills tbh LMFAOIJSDF. It's been.... a WHILE since I've made CGs since I've been in the writing and coding dungeon for so long. So most of this month's art updates are me getting tilted from redrawing an ugly sketch over and over.

I DID manage to get the Van Mermay piece out. And I also was able to sketch out Kayn's Tragic End CG; that leaves only one CG that has to be sketched out! Currently, six of their CGs are finished, two need to be rendered, and one needs to be drawn still.

And since Kayn's CGs are mostly done, I've started drawing Fenir's. I was actually able to finish one because I basically Locked In when I made it, so here is a sneak peek!

Kisses his little pink nose

You might notice there's not toooo many updates on this month's devlog. The reason for that is because this month, I spent a lot of it recovering both mentally and physically. April shenanigans and those back-to-back releases took a lot out of me, and after going full speed basically since this year started, I learned I REALLY needed a break. That coupled with the concussion I got made it so that most of this month was focused on recovering and then getting back into the groove of things.

Another thing I tried to focus on this month was finding a balance in my workflow. Going into this month, I felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown almost every day, in large part because I have a lot of big things I'm trying to accomplish this year. Between finishing my dissertation, Alaris, and a personal big event that I have to plan, I have a lot on my plate this year, and it's made it easy to get overwhelmed as the months pass by. So I wanted to find a balance between all three that didn't make me feel like I was also falling into insanity. After talking to beloved Wudgey of @herotome fame, I've started adopting a schedule that gives me enough structure and flexibility to feel like I'm making progress without going crazy and getting lost in the sauce.

While it's still early in the process, I'm really happy with the balance I've hit, and I'm feeling much more like myself now compared to a month ago!

I caught up on quite a few things in my backlog this month, which made me happy ^^ I always like to learn from and support other devs, so finally being able to return to that helped with the recovery process <3

I don't have any actual fanart pieces, but there are a couple of games I'd like to highlight!

First of all, of course I must talk about our hot girl (/gender neutral) summer cross-promo. If you haven't checked out these games, I can't recommend them enough!!

Links to each game can be found on the Alaris Game page under the magic and mystery otome section!

Specifically, Save the Villainess, The Good People, and Thorn for the Villain are amazing games if you're into thriller/political games layered with mystery

The Silent Kingdom (which I played recently and is AMAZING) and Dual Chroma (Otojam 2023 ALLY) have added mechanics of RPG for exciting action-adventure fantasy stories

Lost in Limbo, Obscura, and Snow White Ashes are BEAUTIFUL dark fantasy games. I've played all three of these and they have some of the most beautiful writing and visuals... BIG FAN OF ALL OF THEM.

Mask Beyond Lies and Sigh of the Abyss have that epic fantasy adventure appeal to them, in a way that I think is similar to Alaris! And Pearlglow Cafe (another Otojam 2023 ALLY) is a very lighthearted and charming game for those of you who like the comfy vibe that most of my stories have!!

Some other games that I played are Favor (@favorvn) by beloved @concreteparasite which is SOOOOO stylish. If you've played Binary Star Hero by Connie, you can expect that same stylish, dark, sultry vibe from Favor. If you haven't checked out either of those games by Connie, I can't recommend them enough, especially if you like yanderes. There is so much aesthetic and atmosphere to them!

I also played Where Winter Crows Go by @prikarin who is a VERY talented developer (and one I'm sure many are familiar with). I had a lot of fun romancing Crowe and both the MC and him have such strong personalities, it was so fun seeing their dynamic!!!! The CGs were also made by anta, who is the dev behind Thorn for the Villain, and they're BEAUTIFULLLLL. Each one has so much style and rly has a professional look to them. Can't recommend enough if you haven't played already ((heads up that it is another yandere game for those who can't do yandere!))

Okay I've yapped enough. If you've made it this far, you are god's strongest soldier LFMASLDIFJ. See you all next month with hopefully some exciting progress!

#devlog #alaris

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dee-the-red-witch · 18 days

Text

Of course things decided they have to be extra fun today.

*facepalm*

Somehow every sutomatic bill I had set up decided to process last night. Which'd be fine except this morning is the morning I need to drive halfway across the state to pick up my youngest from the respite center he's been at for the last week. Not picking him up or delaying isn't an option, and I don't have gas money.

And I know I've been asking for help a lot this year, but if anyone's got like fifty bucks or even just five to kick my way, it'd help a LOT, since I've still somehow got to do this and groceries and everything else, and ugggggh. http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts if you're up for pitching in and helping.

Or http://tormentedartifacts.com if you wan to grab something for yourself and don't mind waiting while I continue to slog through the backlog of orders.

#help #signal boost

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nevadas-night-time-novelist · 1 month

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Auditor, Phobos, 2BDamned and Sanford with a reader that overworks themselves. Prioritizing work over mental and physical health, pushing themselves to their breaking point, skipping meals and only getting a few hours of sleep. I just need these four in particular to tell me to take care of myself and care about me argggh

Overworked reader

Audi, Phobos, Doc, Sanford

CW: bit of a mental spiral on San's end, ends well tho.

Burnouts a bitch man, don't wear yourself thin over shit, y'hear?

Auditor

"Are the chef's meals not to your liking?" You nearly jumped out of your seat when Auditor's ghostly whisper filled your ear. Casting your aching, tired eyes from your paperwork at the once hot meal, still arranged with care on the plate, completely untouched from the moment it left the kitchen.

"Oh, no. Of course not. They're good, don't worry." You offered him a weak smile. "I'll have it later, I just need to finish this up." Audi's eyes narrowed as you gestured meekly to your desk, piled high with reports, cloning records, casualty tallies, and other such boring admin work.

"It's cold." He grumbled, spinning your chair to face him, hands on his hips. "You're going to really hurt yourself and burn out if you keep pulling these awkward hours. Don't think I haven't noticed you slipping from our bed to come back to this. Did you forget how light a sleeper I am?"

Audi's stern demeanour dropped as your features fell, already feeling low because of how your body was struggling, now having your boss/lover add to that. "I just need to be able to keep up with you. What use am I really if I can't handle a fraction of the work you do?"

His hand rested under your chin, thumb delicately stroking your cheek. "You could never keep up with me, my flame, I was made to handle this. You're just a delicate mortal, you do more than enough without stressing yourself trying to level with me. Allow me to finish this later, mea vita, you are going to get a hot, fresh meal while I draw a bath for us, and after you will get the rest your body needs. That's an order, from your employer, understood?"

"Yes, but-"

He cut you off. "No 'ifs, ands, or buts,' You are going to hurt yourself, and I refuse to allow anyone to hurt you, even self inflicted pain. I, as your partner and boss, will clear this burden for you. When I asked for your best, I meant the best you can consistently handle, not this. You're not yourself, and I command you seek out that old self that I fell for and bring them back to me instantly."

Phobos

Being the director's lover had essentially no downsides, nobody spoke a bad word around you, people helped you far more than before, not to mention the adoration of the most powerful figure in the physical realm. However, that same man would often breathe down your neck, commanding you to stay by his side constantly.

Phobos relished in you, watching you, listening to you, being around you. He wished to be adored equally in return, however your work proved to be a distraction from him. He was... a tad obsessive, but how could he not be? He's a god, it was only right you'd devote yourself to him and him alone.

"Leave that alone will you? Your god requires your attention." A large clawed hand rested on your shoulder, the other pulling down his bandages from his mouth. "Your recent neglect of me is not going unnoticed, dear."

You rubbed your aching eyes, staring at a computer screen all day and most of the night irritated them. "I'm sorry Bo, but there's a lot of work that needs reviewing, I've got weeks of backlog to go through, and Christoff, Crackpot and Gonne have all submitted new reports today with pages and pages of intel to go through."

His hands wrapped around your middle, he lifted you up and took your place on the chair, resting you in his far more comfortable lap. "Bah, they're not worthy of your time. I'll command someone else to do it, the short fat one, whatever his name is. He enjoys paperwork and the like."

"Hofnarr is no doubt as swamped as I am." He took your face in one of his hands, his cracked and damaged lips pressing against your cheek.

"Someone else then, if it pleases you. Whatever it takes for you to spend time with me." You leaned into him, your back pressing against his chest, and he emitted a deep purr. "I am a god amongst men, dear, I don't beg for what I desire. I take it. And yet I allow you this honour. So please..."

Your stomach rumbled against his hand. "Harumph! Neglecting yourself as much as you've neglected me?! How dare you, enough is enough. I command you take care of yourself!" Phobos picked you up with ease, holding you level to his eye. To anyone else, he'd be holding them by their collar, or neck to meet his gaze, but with you, he was softer. A hand under your rump and the other on your back, supporting your weight comfortably.

"You are the lover of a god, think how pitiful it would look if I can't even take care of my equal? You stand above others, the right hand of my throne. Your duties have changed, lesser beings will take charge of them. Your only priorities are yourself and me, and the family we will create." Phobos snapped his fingers, and one of the guards at the door came forward.

"See to it that the chefs prepare your God's favourites, find someone to take their duties on and allow them to be truly indulged as they should be." Phobos looked back to you, his eye narrowing. "I will tear this world asunder for you, and build it up as you desire. I will give you anything your heart pines for, never again shall you be run ragged like this."

Phobos was self assured, a god of the highest order, surrounded by weaker, lesser beings. And yet here he was, begging at your altar. He wished you'd devote yourself equally to worshipping you as he did, and he would make damn sure that happened.

2BDamned

3 AM. Doc was in the kitchen, boiling some water over the stove. Hank has smashed the coffee maker earlier in the day, said he'd accidentally dropped the thing, yet couldn't explain the crowbar in his hands. Doc gritted his teeth, damn Wimbleton, making his hard job harder with their stupid thoughtless actions.

He had no doubt the fool had burned themselves on the machine and gone overboard against the poor helpless thing in revenge. Now here he stood, using the stove to make both his coffee and his snack. Instant noodles, his saving grace in the world. Easy to prepare, quick to eat, and filling.

With bleary, tired eyes, you wandered into the dim kitchen, hearing Doc grumbling to himself about 'Getting that moron to find another working machine or he'll have his spine inserted upside down next time.'

"Hey sweetheart." Yawning and setting your tablet down, you wrapped your arms around his midriff and leaned your face into his back. One hand pulled way from the stove, running down your arm before resting atop your hand, feeling the ring around your finger.

"You should be asleep, love." Doc murmured, his animosity towards Hank gone in the wind. You inhaled deeply, basking in his familiar scent.

"I could say the same to you, Kyle." He let out a soft 'Hm.', agreeing without agreeing. You were right, of course. "Debugging with Dei was going well, till he nodded off. San came by on one of his usual bathroom breaks and picked him up."

Doc poured the water into his noodle cup. "You want some coffee?" He took your favourite mug out of the cupboard.

"I thought you wanted me to sleep." You teased tiredly.

"You're my spouse. I know you well enough to know that's not gonna happen anytime soon, even if I would like it if you did." He tossed some powdered milk into the cups along with the beans. "We don't have any sugar left I'm afraid, or sweetener. It's become so scarce these days. Ration packages can't even supply a tiny packet anymore."

"I can get sugar anytime I've got you around." Doc smiled and turned off the hob, turning around to pull you into his arms. "Can I get some now?"

As far as you two were concerned, nothing else existed, everything except what was in both your arms was null and void. He tilted his head down slightly, lips catching yours softly. Butterflies fluttered in your tummy, they flared up every time your husband kissed you.

You rested your head on his chest, it was rare you two had a truly private moment together, as much as you both tried. Being enemies of the state was hard work, who'd have thought?

"You should really lay down dear." Your eyes fluttered open, and you looked up to him. You hadn't even realised you'd started dozing off in his arms.

"No, I've got work to do." You yawned, and Doc chuckled softly.

"You're really stubborn sometimes, you know that?" He picked up both coffees and his noodles. "Tell you what, grab your tablet and we can get cosy in bed together. Work can wait until later, I think we've overdue some private couple time."

Nestled in the crook of Doc's arm felt like the safest place in the world, even with coffee in your system, you couldn't help but fall asleep with him. Trust and love deep rooted, he was your sanctuary.

And damn it, he was going to get you into a healthier sleep routine.

Sanford

It'd been a couple weeks since you'd seen Ford, Doc had sent him off on recon work with Deimos and a splinter group from a faction allied with the SQ, they'd been on the other side of Nevada having heard whispering of something dangerous settling out there.

Two weeks of silence left you anxious, pacing around often, skipping meals and staying up into the early hours of the morning. Longing makes the heart sick, and a sick heart makes the body weak.

The only think you could do to keep your mind occupied was cleaning out the gun stash, checking over the stocked rounds repeatedly, despite the numbers never changing, cleaning already dirt and grime free steel.

A scrubbing brush in hand, you scraped at one of the many swords Hank had salvaged, violently jolting the bristles back and forth over either rust, or really crusted on blood just above the hilt.

Doc usually kept you in the loop of long jobs, sometimes you'd even be in walkie talkie range of your partner and could hear his voice. He could be hurt, he could be dead, you'd be none the wiser, and that was maddening.

Of course you weren't needy and dependant on him, that'd be too much, but just a sign he was okay would've been enough to give you peace of mind. It's the not knowing that drove you to dark places.

Bang!

You jumped in your seat as the front door slammed. "Baby, you here? I'm back." Dropping the blade, you got to you feet and rushed to the door.

"Sanford, you're okay?!" You leaped into his arms, and he caught you easily. Oh sweet security, your world had come home to you safely.

"Yeah babe," San leaned back slightly to get a good look at you, his loving gaze turning to concern. "uh, hope you don't mind me sayin' doll/stud, but you look like hell." His hands brushed over your hair. "...When did you last shower?"

Suddenly you felt rather embarrassed, it'd been a.... couple days at least. Probably about a week since you'd stopped properly taking care of yourself. Swapping meals out for multiple junk snacks, a fucked up sleeping schedule consisting of occasional naps but mostly anxious pacing and activity.

"Uhm..." That was an answer enough for him.

"Baby," Sanford rubbed his cheek, clearing off some dust from his face. "you need to take care of yourself." He sighed and took off his sunglasses. "Have you even been eating properly?"

You didn't meet his gaze. "Okay. Tell you what," He took off his dirty tank top and tossed it aside. "I'll pull out something from the freezer, shove it in the oven while we get a nice shower, and then we can eat and get some rest." Just being near him, hearing his melodic voice again was enough to bring you to a sense of normalcy.

Sanford was fine, he was alive, he was here.

"Things have just been a bit... off without you." You sighed, clinging to his frame, almost afraid if you let him go, he'd run off for another two weeks, or longer. "Sorry, it's just been a lot to deal with, not knowing where you were, if you were safe... It's been hard."

"I get it. I do, I really do," Sanford had his own experiences with deep depression, despite being the large stoic type, the horrors of war, what he and his friends had to do to get an advantage against everything haunted him. "fight, flight, freeze is a real thing, but you can't just shut down baby. You gotta keep fightin, keep yourself in good shape 'cause it's a scary world out there."

"I know. It's easier said than done though." Sanford pulled out a tray of his legendary frozen mac n cheese, you hadn't checked the freezer since he'd left, otherwise that would've been long gone. You didn't know how he did it, but it was godly each time he made it.

"I get that." He shoved the tray into the oven, flicking switches to heat up the frozen dish. "You gotta change how you think, baby." You watched him take off his bandanna, revealing his hair. Or lack thereof.

"You shaved your head?" Usually he'd grow out his hair, style it into long locs and keep them tied back and under his bandanna, but once in a blue moon he'd get bored of maintaining them, and shave it off to start again.

Sanford ran a hand over his scalp, feeling the small curls starting to reappear. "Yeah, easier than trying to keep it clean out there. Dusty as hell." His hands came to rest on your shoulders, turning you to the bathroom. "No bother, I've got your hair to care for now. I'mma spoil you rotten."

Years of caring for his baby siblings had taught the beefcake that just telling someone what to do usually didn't help, but doing it along side them helped solidify the action. He'd help you get cleaned up, get back to eating proper food and getting proper sleep.

He needed to fall into the routine too, sleeping rough in trucks was a pain in his back, and access to his comfy old bed would do him wonders to getting decent sleep again. A full belly and his favourite person in the entire world cuddling into his pecs definitely helped too.

Yes, he needed this just as much as you did.

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