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#[i meant for this to be short but here we are]
ashwhowrites · 3 days
Note
hi!! can I request stevie boy loving to suck on the readers boobs while they make up? 🫣🤭
You definitely can. My brain went in three directions with this because I couldn't tell if you meant makeup as in a fight, makeup as in doing makeup, or a type and meant wake up. So I went with the first one. It's a short blurb.
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting🫶🏻
Sucker
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"Steve, I'm sorry," Y/N said, but the boy still cried as he kept his head down. "Come here," she cooed, he crawled into her arms and allowed her to hug him. The couple sat on the bed as they embraced.
"I'm sorry for crying. I know I'm sensitive." Steve apologized against her chest.
"Shh, you don't have to be sorry. I'm sorry for being insensitive and hurting your feelings. "What can I do to make you feel better?" She asked
Steve felt his cheeks burn as he thought about it. He was embarrassed to ask, but he had something in mind. And it had been in his mind since their first date.
Steve was a boob guy and he will be one until the day he dies. To him, they had so much purpose and looked great in everything.
He liked to use them as a pillow when they cuddled. He melted into her with the way she played through his hair.
He liked to feel them against his chest as they hugged.
He loved seeing them in her outfits, hidden or out on display.
He loved the way they bounced in his face as she rode him.
He loved feeling them in his hands when he ate her out. He loved how sensitive her nipples were to his touch. He sucked on them slightly during sex and played with them with his teeth.
But he hasn't done what he's been craving to do
"Steve?" she asked, leaning back as she looked at him
"I don't know...I'm scared to ask," he admitted
Y/N sighed and pulled back. She let go of his body but grabbed his hand. "It's okay. Just tell me. I'm your girlfriend, I'd never judge you."
Steve took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, then down to her chest. She wore a loose shirt and he could see her hard nipples looking back at him. He looked back at her face and blushed.
"I um...I think I know what will help me feel better," he said shyly, "can you take your shirt off?"
She bit back a laugh, "You wanna see my boobs?" A small chuckle escaped as she took off her shirt. He beamed with happiness when they came into his view. His hands already reaching forward to cup them.
"I love your boobs," he complimented, squeezing the flesh. "Can I...maybe suck on them?"He shyly looked at her, his hands still massaging her breasts.
Y/N was silent for a minute. She wasn't sure what to say, the question went in a direction she didn't expect. But she'd do anything to make her boy happy.
"Of course, do you want me to like lie down?" She asked
Steve looked at her shocked. The way she just agreed and asked how he wanted to do it made his heart melt.
"Um yeah, maybe like the way we cuddle? Where you play with my hair?" He whispered as he grew more shy under her watchful eyes.
"Yes, pretty boy," she said, she leaned over and pecked his lips, his hand moved away from her chest as he cupped her face and kissed her back.
She pulled back with a smile. She moved down on the bed and rested her back against the mattress. Steve took off his shirt, joining hers on the floor.
He crawled on top of her and placed his head on her chest, his legs tangled with hers. He lazily wrapped his lips around her left nipple, swirling it with his tongue before he began to softly suck.
He moaned in delight as her hands ran through his hair. He sucked gently and it made Y/N more relaxed than she thought it would.
His eyes were closed as he felt himself calming down. He popped off her left nipple with a pop. Then he wrapped his lips around her right one and began to suck.
He switched back and forth until his eyes grew heavy. Her fingers were in his hair as his sucking slowly came to a stop, but his lips were still wrapped around her.
She smiled to herself as he fell asleep. She continued to play with his hair as she closed her eyes. Time ticked until she fell asleep beside him.
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duskyvenus · 3 days
Text
A flower blossoms for its own joy: How will you bloom?
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A PAC about your blooming moment and how you will get there. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Open your eyes and choose the photo that speaks to you. 3 piles left to right. This is for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates. Feel free to check other piles if it doesn't resonate :)))
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Pile 1
I'm seeing that we have some shy people here or people who put a lot of thought before saying something in the sense that they don't want to provoke someone. The message here is to be little unapologetic about certain things. You don't have to be worried about how others perceive you. "Say the weird thing!" I know this can be hard especially if you're not around the right people but the trash will take itself out if you are more open about your likes and dislikes. This is the way you will find the people that are truly meant for you, by letting go and cutting some people off. Also, I'm seeing that you need to practice gratitude and mindfulness. Keeping a journal can help. Travel to places you have always wanted to visit. The last thing that you need to do in order to "blossom" is to accept help. I get that it is nice being independent but being humans we need community. I'm not asking you to be very social and have too many friends, cuz remember the earlier point of not gaf about what other people say; yeah just do enough so that you're comfortable :) Remember that this is going to be a new chapter in your life so the key is balance. I think you can imagine your blooming moment by now. For some of you I'm seeing the presence of a significant other. This will probably be a slow burn.
Here's a moodboard for you:
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Songs:
Thank you for reading!
Pile 2
I'm mainly getting the vibe that you don't take care of yourself enough. Like no skincare, self care or you're not eating healthy. I'm not asking you to follow strict regimes to become flawless, I'm just saying that maybe something's missing, some deficiency perhaps (?) idk. I also get the vibe that you are tight on money or grew up in a low income household. There's a lack of self love in this pile. You feel like you don't deserve love or that you're low maintenance because of your past relationships. (That's just not true!) The remedy for all of this is investing in yourself. You don't have to go broke looking after yourself; keep a journal, write down your thoughts, write down positive affirmations, maybe change your wardrobe (clothes carry energy), have a candle light dinner with yourself, etc. I'm also seeing that you could be really good at handicraft so maybe you should start a business. You could even be a good photographer. You just need to start posting you're a true artist! If you do things that make you happy and calm you're going to get closer to your blooming moment. You're going to have a really beautiful house. Your house will be adorned with pottery, paintings, etc. I get a self-satisfied vibe :)
Here's a moodboard for you:
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Songs:
Thank you for reading!
Pile 3
I'm getting that this pile is very different from the last two. You probably have everything anybody could ask for or, you are working towards it. You are really close to blooming but that will need just a little more effort. You will bloom if you acknowledge your roots. You have to be very humble and thankful. Maybe you have lost track of your identity due to the grind and the struggle. Taking short breaks from time to time could be a good idea. You will bloom when you include others into your plans. Try giving gifts to friends just because. Tell them that you are glad to have them in your life. Go camping or hiking, reconnect with nature. For some of you I'm seeing an ancestor that protects you because you remind them of themselves :)) Apart from this I see that you're good at your job and leave on the dot which may have ruffled the feathers of a few people. But you don't have to worry about that. Just be your usual self. "Your coworkers can very rarely be your friends so make time for the friends that you already have." - words from your ancestor. I see you happy and smiling in your blooming moment. Shaking hands with important people, doing what you love to do :)) Your ancestors and spirit guides are smiling too <3
Hers's a moodboard for you:
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Songs:
Thank you for reading!
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never not mine | jjk | "i hear..."
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
Bygones will be bygone eras, fading into grey. Breaking up with Jeon Jungkook had been a vicious, clean break. He tried to take it back, but the damage was already done. You walked out of the world you didn't belong in, at least until Kim Taehyung calls your name.
this is part i | part ii | part iii
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of controlling behaviors in a romantic relationship; reader is emotionally distant after said breakup; second chance romance?; angst and fluff and feels; your POV
non-idol!AU; fashion model!Jungkook — ft fellow model/actor!Kim Taehyung and model/businessman!Kim Seokjin; and a certain Maestro cameo; reader is not part of the entertainment industry
--
“Please love me again.”
You could hear him saying it but you pretended not to hear. You pretended not to know. You pretended he wasn’t there. He was persona non grata. No, he was simply another blurry face amongst many that faded into the grey background of grey days. He was only a ghost. If he happened to be in the same place as you were, it wasn’t any of your damn business. People were allowed to be wherever they wanted to be.
“I’m sorry.”
Yes, he was.
Sorry that he couldn’t walk all over you like he wanted. Sorry that he couldn’t control you on that leash like he wanted. Sorry that you had the balls to cut all ties and not put up with his selfish bullshit anymore. Sorry. What a word. Your response had not been a vindictive one, though. You hadn’t blocked him on social media. You figured he would block you himself. The last moments were him berating you for being late, what if something happened to you, I was worried, and you snapping. It had taken every fiber of your being to not fling your clutch in his face and tell him to take himself out if he cared so much.
“I understand what you meant now.”
The first couple times he attempted to speak to you after it all, you were ice-cold furious. So angry that you simply refused to speak to avoid spitting literal fire. So, you didn’t. And then it became a habit. Then you stopped caring. You stopped feeling. You lived your life.
Alone.
Like an abandoned puppy, Jeon Jungkook followed you every chance he got, but there were less and less chances as time went on. You would walk past him. He would follow until it was definitely too creepy and simply stop, staring after you with a lost look in his empty eyes. Everyone could see the broken heart in his stare.
A lot of people asked you what happened.
It was a valid question.
It was just as valid for you to not answer.
“I’m not going to talk about that. We can talk about something else.”
You avoided people who couldn’t let it go or cut them out altogether. What was the point of shit-talking, taking sides, making yourself angry over things that couldn’t be changed? What was the point of being upset over nights that couldn’t be taken back? Over phone calls and you sitting alone in a restaurant, empty chair in front of you and the reason in your hand, an opportunity came up, I’m leaving for Los Angeles in the morning, I need to pack, bye. Over trips suddenly cut short in the middle, the agency called, another model got sick last minute so I gotta go, just stay here and have fun. By yourself. Over accusations, what are you doing right now, send a photo, now. Over doubts, are you really at the supermarket, I don’t know, you could be doing anything, I’m not there after all. Over being five minutes late because the taxi you had taken was driven by an older gentleman chatting away, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him to shut up simply because of a boy.
Five minutes.
“Where were you? You need to tell me if you’re late. What if something happened? I was worried.”
“The driver was talking to me.”
“And you couldn’t text that you were okay?”
“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”
“Am I not your priority?” he had hissed.
Snap.
All those times, all those moments, okay, I understand, it’s fine, you can make it up to me later, they all came back to you in vivid recollections, and you had stared at Jeon Jungkook. All those people saying how lucky you must be having such a good-looking guy, an actual fashion model, must be so nice, and you only said nice things about him because it didn’t occur to you to complain, no, it would be silly to complain about someone you loved. That was part of loving someone, wasn’t it, being in love was putting up with these things and believing in their words. All those instances, prove what you’re doing, send a photo. Now. All that shit got you to this moment right here, right now, under this furious scrutiny, his dark brows furrowed, his pretty mouth twisted in a frown, his question ringing in your ears.
His accusation in which he had already deemed you guilty.
“The fuck you say to me?” you had growled softly.
Never once did you ask him what he was doing in the destination that he was at. Never once did you fault him for going out and having fun. Never once did you say anything about the multiple social posts of beaches and hotels and nightclubs and everyone scantily-clad, his arms around fellow models, pressed up against fabulous guys and glamorous girls. If he didn’t answer you for a couple days, you assumed it was due to long shoot days and combined jetlag making him crash. The very answer he gave you the first time you asked. You believed him then. There was no need to ask for confirmation over and over if you trusted him. And you did trust him.
Now, this.
“I was five minutes late. If I thought I would be later, I would have texted you,” you explained with emotionless calm. “At least I showed up. At least I didn’t make you sit down in the restaurant, wait around for an hour only to get a text that you aren’t coming. Not even a phone call anymore.”
You hadn’t raised your voice.
He had looked taken aback.
“But… I thought you would understand.”
“Of course, I understand.” The seething anger was white-hot but your tone was crystal-clear cold. “I can understand, as long as you show me some grace and appreciation for not losing my shit every time it happens. Am I not your priority? When have I ever been yours?”
He tried to answer quickly. “You’re always–”
But you were already pulling up the rideshare app, calling another car to come pick you up. “Am I? Then why accuse me the second I get out of the car? Where was I? In the taxi. You saw me get out of it. Why are you holding five minutes over my head like a death sentence, as if I surely betrayed you in those extra five minutes? If it’s you it could be five, thirty, hours, but I have to understand you are networking. I have to understand you are being personable. I have to understand that you are practicing being friendly because it doesn’t come naturally to you.”
Jungkook simply gawked at you, wide-eyed.
You narrowed your eyes, creating a distance he could no longer cross.
“Am I just here so you have someone to visit when you’re bored? Someone to fuck?”
Maybe the vulgarity was taking it too far. Maybe saying all of this in public right now was in poor taste. His jarring question rang in your head. Am I not your priority? Maybe you were wrong to say it all now, but it was the way he said it, as if your love for him had become invalid once you were five minutes late to the appointed time for this date that you didn’t know whether or not he would abandon you in the middle of or take you home and rock your world – and you realized you didn’t care what the outcome was.
You just didn’t give a fuck anymore.
There were so many things he could have done. He could break up with you if his career was more important. He could say sorry more. He could find ways to make it up to you. He could, but he didn’t, and you understood. But this. This you could not understand. This he could not do.
No.
This you would not let him do.
If this was innocent concern, he made it worse by coming off as suffocating and hovering. Now, you realized that no excuse would have been good enough to convince him otherwise. He had already made up his mind to attack you the second you walked out of that car, delivering in the fatal blow instantly. All those moments. All those times had become hair-thin cracks, marring the bond between you and him, tiny little slices to kill the relationship and your will to be in it.
“I don’t think…”
He trailed off, not completing his thought.
The car pulled up.
This was surely the meaning of quiet treason.
“No, you don’t,” you had finished for him with icy agreement. “You expect. You expect me to be here and hold your hand when you want it, and now I know you will never ask me if I ever need my hand held.”
You had stepped away from the curb, not once raising your voice, no longer looking at him, your knuckles digging into your beaded black clutch. You expected it to hurt at least a little.
It was nothing compared to this death by a thousand cuts.
“W-Wait!”
You didn’t.
You had opened the car door and closed it quickly. The driver  requested you to confirm your name. You tersely nodded. They didn’t ask any further questions even as you witnessed Jungkook’s shocked face in the side mirror as the vehicle drove away. You didn’t look back. You didn’t even cry. Maybe you should have given him a chance to say something. A chance to change.
Except you had.
This wasn’t the first time that you had this conversation, although the first time was you sitting him down and saying, hey, if you’re not sure about your schedule, let’s not arrange any dates around those days. We can go out when things settle down. The answer was agreement and all was well for a couple weeks. And then it would happen again. And then you would bring it up again. Whoops. And again.Then he would ask you what you were doing when he wasn’t there. Oh, really? Send pictures.You asking, this is a bit much, isn’t it? The answer being, I want to know you’re safe. You finally admitting that it drove you a bit crazy. Him laughing and saying he was a bit of a handful, brushing away your concerns in light of his own.
Five minutes.
Am I not your priority?
The anger had nowhere to go.
Like how summer turned into fall and then into winter, the anger grew cold and dense and concentrated. A stone. Then one day you turned it over and found nothing underneath. You stopped caring. On one hand, you could have been the bigger person and reached out. On another hand, you didn’t see the reason in wasting any more time. What good was closure? What good would it do, talking it out and getting the same result? Deserve this, deserve that. Fair or not, at the end of the day, it didn’t work and there was no forcing something if neither party wanted to really try. I understand, until you couldn’t anymore.
Now.
Now, you would sit alone at restaurants and not be disappointed.
Table for one, yes, thank you.
Now you would spend hours at the games store and no one would be asking you to take pictures and prove that you were there. He used to play video games too, but he gradually fell out of them. Busy. Felt like he couldn’t keep up. Sold his PC because he was never home.
Emptiness where he had once enjoyed spending that time with you.
You would stay at the music store for a long time, looking over albums and wondering if you should buy them. It had been such a long time. You never listened to CDs anymore although you had been obsessed with music as a kid. The past felt like a different time. Memories of a clunky CD player and wired headphones with the metal arch over your head and those spongey earcups. Now you had wireless earbuds and a phone. Still, you looked over the colorful albums and wondered if you should get one, just to have it or maybe even put it on display. He used to listen to a lot of music too. Probably still did, on planes and in cars. He used to share your taste.
Now you didn’t have to share anything.
You stuck with your favorites, still, for years. It was an ever-growing list of popular artists as well as lesser-known indie artists that you never forgot. You made sure to listen to the top hits as well since those songs were popular for a reason. The occasional earworm could lead you down a pleasant rabbit hole, too.
You picked up an album of a band you liked but had never owned and went home.
Got that dopamine unboxing it and smiling at the photocards. Looked through the extras with the album on repeat playing through your Bluetooth speaker. You didn’t do these kinds of things in front of Jungkook usually. You had always prioritized engaging with him. Listening to his stories, looking at the photos of places he had been, shaking your head at the long hours or difficult call times. Every moment precious because you would never know when it would be cut short.
You had made everything about him when in his presence.
You hadn’t blasted the relationship all over social media although it was obvious. For the most part, people had been respectful. You hadn’t deleted all the photos he was in, the photos he had taken of you, nor had you blocked him. People asked. You repeated the same thing over and over. I’m not going to talk about that. We can talk about something else. People eventually stopped asking. Old news was old news. There was no visible resentment, and so the interest died out.
You caught Jungkook looking at you from across the concessions stand at the movie theater.
Those big dark brown eyes filled with rueful invitation.
You didn’t know what movie he was going into, but you turned away and didn’t think about it much.
Watched the movie you paid for, alone.
Went home.
Alone.
You used to watch movies twice. Once by yourself when it released, then a second time when Jungkook could make it. When he could. Sometimes he couldn’t and the movie was already out of theaters. Then you both would watch it at home when it released on streaming services. It was what it was. You enjoyed movies. You had the time and money to watch them twice. But now you didn’t have to.
That was nice.
You weren’t sure if Jungkook was deliberately going places that you often frequented or if it was coincidence. It was likely the latter, because he usually wasn’t alone. He had a group of friends that lived in this area and often came to visit them. He used to joke that it must have been fate for you to meet as your friend circles didn’t overlap. At least he had not shown up to the video games store or the music store you usually went to, so you didn’t feel threatened in any way. Maybe he was visiting his friends more because he was sad. Maybe he was visiting them more in hopes of seeing you, the same tactic he used when he first asked you out. Maybe it was both.
It was probably both.
Sometimes you would cry in frustration.
Sometimes you would play games to distract yourself.
Sometimes you didn’t mind too much as the days passed. Sometimes you would look outside and admire the sun. Sometimes it would rain and that was nice too. Sometimes you were sad but it wasn’t a negative feeling. Such was the natural course. Sadness was the promise of happiness to come, because one couldn’t exist without the other.
At least, you believed so.
Ther wasn’t much more you could do than that.
For a bit there you had almost thought the relationship hadn’t mattered because you had walked away so coldly. In some ways, you wished you could take it back. In other ways, you didn’t. It was hard to discount years of your life simply because of how the chapter ended. There had definitely been unique experiences that you were unlikely to relive. You used to attend lavish parties with Jungkook, especially many around the holidays. You would dress up in your best and put on a brave face. A lovely dress, the high heels he brought you, carefully done makeup and hair. Jungkook would walk in with you gliding beside him, silently holding his arm. People would tell you how fun it was working with him and how lucky he was to have such a pretty and understanding lady. These were all work events full of unfamiliar faces. Jungkook used to be reserved and hang out with you in corners but, as he got more popular, more people roped him into conversations, remember this, and he would slip in with his friends, naturally, laughing and smiling. You would wait nearby, at yet another party surrounded by better bodies, and somehow he would find you at the end of the night, ask you if you had fun.
And you would smile and assure him.
“Something like that.”
The best parties were the ones thrown by his friend Kim Taehyung. He had been in the entertainment industry for a long time, becoming Jungkook’s friend though their crossed paths in modeling. He had an affliction for celebration and Jungkook was always invited, which meant you, too, bore witness to many magnificent events hosted by him. The most extravagant were his own birthday parties. Quite so, as the date was after Christmas, and he continued the festive mood. Taehyung loved a theme. He would rent specific venues, arrange for live music, impose a dress code, everything. One year, he flew everyone out to Paris and rented an entire restaurant to celebrate. Even if you barely knew anyone there, it was fun being in a different world created by Taehyung’s magical vision. Everyone was thrown into it together, experiencing the vibes of an old American jazz club, the white beaches with glass waters during Christmastime, or a playful night filled with Taehyung’s favorite childhood games and sweet treats, complete with food stalls from the area of Daegu he grew up in.
You didn’t fit in, but no one did because these were all Taehyung’s fantasies brought to life.
He always sent the invitations by physical mail, on stunning stationery to match the theme. Someone else must have created them, but seemingly Taehyung approved them all as every single one contained his unique flourishing signature. You kept them in a box. They were too pretty to throw away.
You had received an invitation this year too, to a midnight masquerade ball, but you didn’t go.
Perhaps he didn’t know yet. Or, perhaps he did know and Jungkook asked him to invite you. They were quite close. If there was a plan, you didn’t take the bait. The date came and went. Maybe Taehyung considered you a friend, but that was probably a stretch. Jungkook didn’t like you talking to Taehyung too much.
Apparently, you made him smile too big.
Or something.
Taehyung had an entire party to get to every time you met him, anyway. You would have to shoo him off because there was very little night and Taehyung wanted to speak to every guest one-on-one. He was sincere like that. He was romantic like that. He was dark and handsome and in his own head, in his constant dream of living his wonderful life that, from what you could discern, he deserved. He even always remembered to ask the staff working at his party to eat cake with them. At the end of the night, Taehyung would pick up the microphone and thank the guests for coming and thank the staff for working hard to provide everyone with a good time. Taehyung always remembered to say thank you and he always made sure to express his gratitude to everyone, no matter their status.
You missed being at his party, a little bit, if only just to witness a fairy-tale in real life.
But you weren’t part of Jeon Jungkook’s world anymore.
And so you missed the party.
Please love me again.
On quiet, grey days, you realized how very boring your life was. On quiet, grey days, you were tempted to think about the good times. About his laugh, about his starry eyes when you came into view, about enchanted nights where you would both make magic between bodies. On quiet, grey days, you were tempted to pick out all his flaws until the memories were burned, images stricken with ash, never to be the same again. On quiet, grey days, you had every chance to run back or run away, at least in your head, but instead you lived your very boring life doing neither of those choices.
Whether you loved him or hated him, the result would still be the same.
You entered the artisan tea shop and greeted the staff. You talked about how your father was into tea, chatted about what would make a good gift. The prices of the sets. The amount of loose-leaf tea and how many cups it would make. The various flavors and strength. You smelled a bunch of different ones. Rejected some, remained indecisive about others, accepted a few as contenders.
You heard the bell by the door chime again, musical and clear.
A male’s voice, deep and polite.
You tensed. Your body knew before your mind caught up. You pointed to several flavors you had liked, and the employee suggested a gift box sampler featuring a watercolor camellia-printed limited-edition teacup set that you agreed to readily, all the while vaguely aware of a tingling behind your neck and a vigilant tension forming in your lungs. But it wasn’t until your name was called that you turned around by instinct, and then froze with recognition. Dark brown eyes under graceful black-brown waves. Tan skin glimmering under the lights. The image completed by a three-piece chocolate brown suit paired with a ruffled warm gray dress shirt and sharp dark leather oxfords. The stylish man smiled widely, box-like, and walked towards you without hesitation.
“Fancy seeing you here.”
Kim Taehyung must have known, and yet.
You bowed lightly. “Hello.”
The sales associate was immediately charmed by Taehyung’s deep voice and dashing appearance, their gloved hands hovering over the half-packed box and openly ogling the demandingly handsome gentleman that took your hand warmly before lightly kissing your knuckles. Straight out of a movie. Probably learned it from one, or from traveling in Europe. He let go after a lingering moment.
He had said your name with the same velvety warmth he had at all of his parties.
It had hurt, but it wasn’t his fault.
“How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while. Are you buying something?” He raised his head and daintily smiled at the employee before giving you his full attention again. “Let me pay for it.”
“No, ah,” you interrupted him quickly, handing over your card before Taehyung could reach into his heavily lined pockets. “No, sorry. I’m buying a gift for my father.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he apologized immediately, retracting his hands. “I meant to do something nice for you and I’ve overstepped.”
“It’s… It’s alright,” you chuckled softly, trying to dissipate the awkwardness. You turned slightly to sign the receipt, not looking at the price. Your card went back into your black leather bow purse. “You had no way of knowing. How are you? And your parents?”
Taehyung was still a little sheepish but he remained next to you at a respectful distance. “Me? I guess you could say I’m holding on. I think I might take a small break soon and spend a week with my family. How did you know I was thinking of them?” He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re a mind-reader.”
You shook your head with a smile, taking the beautifully wrapped bag and bowing in gratitude to the employee. “No, you’ve just never been a big tea drinker. It was only a guess.”
He scratched the back of his head and sighed lightheartedly. “Ah, you’re right. I wanted to buy a grown-up gift, but maybe I should have asked what they wanted. I don’t know the first thing about tea.”
You both began to walk towards the entrance.
“You’re their adorable child. They will love anything you gift them.”
Taehyung grinned. “So, you think I’m adorable?”
You opened your mouth and then.
Then you were suddenly hyperaware of the brightness of the lights in the tea store. Suddenly aware of all the customers around you milling about and chatting with their friends and the employees. Suddenly the scents of the store were too strong and too varied and suddenly a phantom grip on your arm from a time long past pulled you away from your center, into the past, and you remembered all the times you stood in a corner of a party, on the outskirts of alcohol, music, and magic, wondering why you were so, so alone.
You plastered a smile on your face and replied pleasantly.
“Of course, you are, Kim Taehyung.”
It lasted a second.
Maybe less.
Taehyung gazed at you with curious eyes.
You kept the smile on your face.
He stepped past you and opened the door, gesturing you to walk out before him in the most gentlemanly way, smiling with his eyes crinkling as they usually did when he laughed or was in his comfort zone. “Come. Let me at least treat you to lunch,” he insisted.
You accepted his graciousness and turned as you walked to face him as you spoke. “That’s really not necessary. I’m sure you’re very busy.”
He chuckled, the sound coming deep from his chest. “Of course, I’m busy, but I always have time for a friend.” He shrugged nonchalantly, grinning. “My manager expects this kind of behavior from me anyway.”
You paused, looking up at him. “Friend?”
Flutters of lashes and confusion in dark brown orbs.
“Are we not friends?”
People around you continued walking, giving you and Taehyung weird looks. He didn’t seem to notice, undeterred by the world around him that wasn’t currently in his focus, the main character at every moment in his life, oblivious to anyone trying to get under his skin with their judgements, never the accessory to someone else.
It turned out to be more difficult than you thought, saying the words.
“I… well… Don’t you know that Jeon Jungkook and I aren’t dating anymore?”
Taehyung tilted his head with childlike innocence.
“Um… so you don’t eat lunch anymore?”
You blinked at him.
“Huh?”
He gave you this look. You stared back. For a moment the disconnect was so tangible that you almost had a word for it. A zephyr ruffled Taehyung’s soft curls. The sun made his skin glow and his dark eyes sparkle. Small signs of Mother Nature affectionately acknowledging one of her children. He smiled. It was then that you realized this was a decision you could make. A decision of a lonely self, not a lonely self that was an extension of another. A yes or no that didn’t have to be polluted by the past.
“Well…”
Your hands tightened on the straps of the gift bag.
“If you’ll have me.”
Taehyung grinned. “I know just the spot! You’ll love it.”
-
It was nice lunch.
No, it was wonderful time.
You had been worried that you would be underdressed in your calf-length flowy black dress and chunky knit lavender cardigan, but you fit right in. Taehyung had picked a busy rooftop brunch spot. It was French-themed, or at least as French as Korea could get. There was a bit more wood than brass and crystals. It still made for a nice hideaway. It seemed Taehyung was well recognized here, and yet people maintained a distance regardless. It must have been his polite yet stern demeanor. When he sat down though, he seemed to relax, waving a hand and telling you to order whatever you liked.
You never could turn down good brioche.
You thought it would have been awkward, at least. It wasn’t. He talked about his work, asked about yours. Asked what you thought about this or that. Memories from past events, what you liked or didn’t like. What he paid too much for that nobody noticed, along with a hearty laugh, and moments he loved, such as having a group photo at every one of his events. You asked him if he enjoyed planning the events themselves. He confessed with a roughish smile that he had a planner for all those details. You thought it strange to spend so much money on such occasions, but there was something pure about it too. Besides, you ended up getting your answer.
“What’s the most important lesson in your life you’ve learned so far?” Taehyung abruptly asked, sitting up in alarm.
You blinked at his suddenness. “Uh… I don’t know. I would have to think about it.” Your lips upturned slightly, then you tilted your head and looked back at him. “What about you? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your life so far?”
He relaxed back in his chair. His expression became pensive. You paused in mid-bite, seeing him look a bit sheepish.
“You’re not the first person to ask me about the parties,” Taehyung chuckled deep from his chest. “A lot of people tell me it’s a waste of money. And it is to other people, but it isn’t to me. The most important lesson I’ve ever learned was…”
He raised his head with a small smile.
“You can’t get time back.”
You remembered the extensive decor, the delicate hors d'oeuvres, even the various perfumes sprayed into the air complimenting the theme of each party. Exquisite and memorable details. Taehyung ticked his head, seemingly recalling it all too.
“I think I’ve mentioned this, but my grandmother was the closest maternal figure I had,” he explained, fondly smiling. “I’m close to my parents too, but they had to work a lot to give me a good life, so I spent a lot of time with my siblings and grandparents. My grandmother used to hold celebrations for the achievements I had, even if they were mediocre or not that impressive. Nothing extravagant, or anything. A little cake or my favorite sweets. She would sing for me and clap her hands. She would say, it’s my duty to give you good memories. As I got older, I became busy, of course, chasing dreams, and I didn’t make time for her small celebrations any more. I was just out of university when she passed away. I often think I hadn’t spent enough time with her. Time is money, as they say. Next time, I would say, until there wasn’t a next time.”
The weight of his words settled on the table.
“It’s not your fault,” you reminded him, but Taehyung simply smiled and shook his head.
“It wasn’t anybody’s fault,” he agreed. “But that wasn’t it. I couldn’t get all that time back. Sure, did I take jobs that put me in a really good place now? Yeah. Yeah, of course, I make a lot of money now since young me jumped at every chance to model for a small brand or do a single-run commercial. I really love my career. I love that, because I did the hard work, I even get offers to act in primetime dramas now. But I should have made less. I should have made time. I should have gone to see her and let her do her duty to give me good memories.”
He waved his hands in a slight shrug. You could tell he was still regretful about it, but there was something else too. He looked directly at you with that boxy grin of his.
“I decided, then, that I too  wanted to give good memories to the people that are precious to me. I have all this money, anyway. Why waste it on things? I want to waste it on memories. I want people to look forward to special days, to celebrate life, to look back on a fun time.”
So that was why.
“That is what is really important to me.”
Kim Taehyung wasn’t only good looks, of course.
“I’ve yapped long enough. What is really important to you?” he asked again, chuckling.
“Oh, I…”
And there were no words.
You straightened, startled by your own silence. There were lots of important things, weren’t there? There was… and there wasn’t. Friends, sure. And, also, friends came in and out of your life. You didn’t take it personally. Family, yes. Cordial but not deep. They had their own lives to live. You almost opened your mouth to say these generic things, and then you caught the look in Taehyung’s eye and stopped.
This basic question was not so basic after all.
“I… Am I boring?” you blurted with a start.
“Boring?” Taehyung frowned. “No, you’re not.”
Your brows furrowed. “Aren’t I?”
He laughed, hearty and deep. “Trust me. You’re not boring. We wouldn’t be having a conversation if you were boring.”
Your eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Why are we having a conversation?”
Taehyung smiled warmly.
“Because I appreciate your outlook on life.”
You were taken aback.
“What?”
He nodded. “Isn’t it obvious?” He waved a hand carelessly. “I’ve met so many people doing what I do. Some people are just nice to you because of money. Or think you can boost their reputation. Or they think they can take advantage of you. You’ve been around all that too, no?” He did not mention Jungkook.
“Oh, well…” you hesitated. “Not anymore. I’m pretty ordinary.”
A small frown. “No, everyone is extraordinary.”
You scoffed. “I’m only an accountant. Not even one that works closely with my own clients – I’m just the one at the firm that does the final review over everyone’s work to make sure we don’t get into legal trouble. That’s nothing like what you do.”
He impatiently swept your words away. “Everyone is extraordinary,” he repeated.
“I don’t think–”
“You are different,” Taehyung pressed. “You had been introduced to a different world than your own and you could have been a vulture. You could have taken for your own sake. You could have done everything you could to be ‘one of us’. You could have scorned us too, called it all superficial and stupid. But you didn’t.” He crossed his arms to make his point. “You observed. You listened. You treated me, the people around me, everyone as their own person. We weren’t just some dumb rich people to you. We were individuals.”
You didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t something you had ever consciously thought about before.
“There are so many people that believe in using others, either in a beneficial way or in a cruel way,” sighed Taehyung. “It’s a difficult world. We all need to live.” He reached over and made you jump by placing his hand over the back of yours. “Don’t give up on that, okay?”
Your stared at him with wide eyes. “On… what?”
Almost. You didn’t quite have an answer for the most important lesson in your life you had learned so far. But almost. Kim Taehyung cocooned his palm over your hand and trapped you with his determined brown eyes, straight from a drama scene. A heavenly prince in a fancy café. He looked back to you very seriously, taking all of your attention away from the whispering conversations on other tables, away from the clinking plates and glasses, away from all distractions.
“Don’t give up on the way you want to live.”
Those small moments.
From eating dinner alone to watching movies alone to buying that album and unboxing it yourself to looking outside, days and nights, wondering what could have been and killing that thought over and over again.
“The way… I want to live?” you echoed breathlessly.
The clear, musical chime of the bell by the entrance sang through the air, mingling with the conversation and consumption. A halo of sound that rang true over every table to reach every customer. It was as striking as it was lovely, flawlessly melding into the moment. A pure sound that could trigger a pleasant déjà vu, the recall of a good chat over good food.
Taehyung grinned with his beautiful, perfectly white teeth.
“I want you to have good memories. Whatever you decide, let us make good memories with those precious to us.”
You decided, then and there, that you needed to start doing things.
-
“Oh, good, you’re home. That would have been awfully embarrassing.”
“W-What…?”
You backed up in your slippers as a stunningly well-dressed man flourished into your home like an astronaut landing on the moon. That was, if the moon was your front door. The black mat was space-themed, printed with abstract stars and a grayish circle. It wasn’t entirely inaccurate. Your pajamas were also soft black cotton with a twinkly star print, although your slippers were simple, white furry poofs that felt like walking on clouds.
“Take this.”
“What is – oof!”
In contrast to your outfit, the man who had entered your home looked like he had stepped off the runway. He wore light blue trousers that you almost mistook for jeans, however they had a tone-on-tone print that clearly indicated the luxury designer. Underneath the navy-blue duster coat was a crisp white shirt pressed to the gods with distinctive sky-blue trim. A quick glimpse and anyone would know the inner lining of the duster was blue silk, the matching tone-on-tone print subtle and obvious at the same time. You nearly buckled under the weight of a wooden box, gasping as you saw the slices of high-grade beef in a gold bow. The man gestured with his hand in a swooping manner.
“I heard all about it from Taehyung,” he was saying, shrugging his broad shoulders heavily.
“Heard…?” You were still reeling from the unexpected guest and a box of meat. “What’s this, I can’t accept th–”
The man shot you a scathing look. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he chided, dismissive. “How unbelievably rude I would be dropping by your home if I didn’t have a gift? Psh, why, I wouldn’t be Kim Seokjin!”
And so he was.
Although, as far as you knew, you and famous-actor-turned-businessman Kim Seokjin were not close friends. Not close enough to be gifted with a house call and meat, anyway. He had been close to Jeon Jungkook back then. They often sought each other out when they both attended the same events. You were well aquatinted with Seokjin’s boisterous personality and his worldwide-known handsomeness. He was no different today, looking sculpted from jawline to broad shoulders to the regal way he stood. Glowing skin. Lightly permed, chestnut brown hair. Full lips, currently in a slight frown.
You bowed awkwardly. “S-Sorry, I just didn’t expect…”
“Ah, it’s alright.” He called you by name, although somewhat awkwardly, as if he was unsure if he should be more formal or not. “I won’t take too much of your time.”
You were still confused about Seokjin saying he had heard something from Taehyung. Actually, you didn’t even know how he got your address, although it wasn’t impossible. After all, Taehyung’s party invitations came in snail mail. It wasn’t that shocking. You probably might have been more annoyed if you were in the middle of something, but all you had been doing was getting ready to heat up some leftover takeout. You shuffled slightly, trying to block the view of the kitchen counter. Not necessarily embarrassed, per se, as your apartment was quite spacious and neat, but nothing here was comparable to Kim Seokjin’s lifestyle. It was kind of pointless to do so, though, since Seokjin was quite tall.
He seemed not to notice or care about the current state of your kitchen.
You stood there, dazed, clutching a box of high-grade beef.
He cleared his throat very firmly. “I came to invite you to the opening of my new establishment. Two weeks from now.” He rattled off the opening date. “But don’t come on opening day. It’ll be too crowded. Some day after. Let me know when and I’ll make special arrangements for you,” he added, stepping forward to tuck his business card into one of the folds of the gold bow. “Call the number on there. My assistant will connect me to you. I can link you with talented professionals if you are interested, which I’ll pay for, of course.”
“I– What – I’m sorry?” you sputtered. “Me?”
The handsome man exaggeratedly whipped his head from side to side. “Uh, do I see anyone else? Yes, of course, you,” he affirmed gruffly. “I came to invite you in person.”
“Well…” This must be how deer felt when confronted with headlights. “I’m not trying to be rude, but, uh… why?”
Seokjin looked offended. “Why? So you can meet people, silly.”
You struggled to connect the information given to you but he was not making it easy. “Meet people?”
“Yes,” he tutted. “You want to meet people, don’t you?”
Did you? You gave him a confused look.
“As Taehyung said,” Seokjin continued as if you completely understood. “People like you need to be surrounded by good people. And I happen to know a lot of them. We need people like you in this industry.”
You shook your head. “No, I don’t have any intention of–”
“Precisely.” He barreled on as if your front entryway was his own stage. “That is precisely why.”
Silence.
A bird cawed outside.
“H… Hah?”
Something in his expression softened. You almost forgot the weight of the wood box in your hands. You almost forgot the ridiculousness of you in your pajamas and Kim Seokjin in his luxury designer clothes. You almost forgot that you were in a completely different class, completely out of your element, completely ordinary.
He sighed and slipped his hands into his pants pockets, neatly tucking back his coat. “Look, I understand if you absolutely don’t want to have anything to do with me and the others. I don’t blame you. But,” he added, nodding lightly. “Your presence is missed. I do believe your interactions with those around you have done them a world of good. Maybe not everyone, yes, but you’re still spoken of, even now.”
“What…?” You blinked, doubtful. “Really?”
Seokjin chuckled, nodding. “You are good company.”
You thought all those times. All those events, dinners, parties. You mostly remembered Jungkook letting you be. Sure, you had light conversation with those around you. You couldn’t remember all their faces. They had been simple conversations, you thought, but they weren’t superficial once you really thought about it. You didn’t have basic industry chatter to talk about, so instead you had asked about aspirations. Asked why instead of what. Why acting? Why modeling? Why entertainment? Talks of the past, the present, the future. Pretty normal, you thought, but maybe…
Maybe it was more normal to ask what they were achieving.
Maybe it wasn’t so normal to ask who someone was.
“Anyway,” Seokjin coughed, breaking you out of your daze. “I wanted to give you ample time to think about it.”
“More than two weeks?” you mused.
He waved a hand. “Don’t know about you, but I need time to schedule and plan things. I need time to get myself ready to interact,” he muttered, half-joking and half-bitterly.
The meat was getting heavy. “Ah… What’s the dress code?”
“Aish, didn’t I tell you?” Seokjin tapped the side of his head. “Think about it. Then give me a call, and I’ll arrange for hair and makeup and fashion. No, don’t even bother asking about price. I’m inviting you to introduce you to people, so I am paying. End of discussion. And…”
A loaded pause.
Tick of the head and Seokjin very seriously asked you.
“If Jeon Jungkook is there, will you be fine?”
You answered honestly.
“I don’t think it will be an issue.”
He surveyed you for a long second and then nodded.
“Alright. Let me know when you’ve decided. Have a nice night. Don’t hesitate to contact me if I can help in some way. I’m not a stranger. By the way.” He added one last comment before leaving, spinning back around with a hand on your now open door and the other pointing to the side of the box. “The butcher shop I purchased this from is owned by a friend of mine. Make sure to send your family and friends his way once you taste how delicious and high-quality it is.”
-
You walked into the nightclub, oddly at peace among the blaring music and bustling bodies, stepping into a world of light and dark and pushing boundaries.
The past couple hours had been spent in a chair, fussed over by a detailed makeup artist and equally talented hairdresser. It had been more enjoyable than you originally thought. Perhaps it had been Seokjin’s excellent choices or their own expertise. They even both asked for your input and offered their advice. It felt like a joint effort. Even the fashion stylist who came later was as informative as they were considerate. You had found out that they had taken your name and your photos to have your fortune read and performed color analysis, respectively. That explained why Seokjin had asked you to take those plain photos. This had made color and style selection much simpler, as you naturally liked all the choices. You were no stranger to tight outfits, although this type of nightlife was not the kind of place you frequented. The stylist had brought a rack of choices, and just in case, a black slip dress looks good on everyone, and all of them were compelling in one way or another. All nightclub appropriate. You asked what to try first. The stylist had asked you how you were feeling.
Feeling?
The answer came out before you could stop it.
“Like revenge.”
You had laughed it off, and so had the staff, but you had seen the gleam in their eyes as if they, too, relished in being part of this so-called revenge.
Well, they were.
You weren’t perfectly sure if this was actual revenge yet, no. You were certainly dressed for it. Black lace corset. Tight lilac short skirt. Black patent leather jacket cropped so severely that it was nearly a bolero. Delicate black pumps with a thin ankle strap. The kind that was a bit fiddly to get on, but was worth it in the end. There was a power in this type of outfit, the kind that made you hold your head high and walk alone with confidence. Perhaps similar to a superhero costume. Just as impractical, too, heh. But that was okay. You weren’t here to prevent any crimes.
Just commit them.
Maybe.
In any case, you weren’t even sure what was going to happen tonight. Something had been planned for you, so you walked in and looked around, wondering if you should ask for help. The luxury was obvious from every corner of the building. From the furniture choices to the expansive bar to the crisp, pressed uniforms of the employees, every detail oozed sophistication. You admired the tastefulness of it, surprised that it didn’t feel gaudy or overdone. Must be the refined touch of Kim Seokjin. Even the clientele was jaw-dropping. You spared a moment to look from face to face, wondering if you should be less obvious about it, but then some paused and gazed back, unafraid, offering a simple smile.
They didn’t know you didn’t really belong, yet.
The sheep’s clothing worked, then.
You almost laughed at your own unspoken joke, and then, either compelled by fate, chance, or some mixture of both, your eyes rose and you saw him. It was definitely him. It was only the back of his head and black leather, but you knew it was him even before he turned around.
Jeon Jungkook.
You had seen him many times after the fact. However, this time was the first time that you came with weapons at your disposal, subtle as they were. For a moment, you wondered what to do. You stared as those brooding dark eyes widened in surprise. His hair was slicked back. Leather jacket, white tank, dark jeans, probably black boots. You couldn’t see it all from this angle. Still, you knew him too well. He wasn’t a suit-and-tie breed unless he was forced by the occasion. And, anyway.
You had mildly hoped that he would dress down these days, as it both suited him and reflected your preferred personal taste.
Egotistical, yes, and, now that you could see, true.
You broke the gaze first, seeing a waiter approach you. Bowed lightly, walking with him as he explained what was in store tonight, and yet your mind was still fixated on that shocked gaze from the far table up above. It did register that you were going up the stairs too, but somehow you knew that you weren’t going near that table.
You wondered if he regretted everything.
You wondered if he saw you differently now, dressed up and on a mission.
You wondered if Jeon Jungkook understood, truly, how deeply he had hurt you with his misdemeanors and you wondered if you, truly, understood how you didn’t help by always sweeping said misdemeanors under the metaphorical rug. You wondered if there was a chance for reconciliation or if this was all a big mistake. Maybe this was only another instance of two ships silently passing in the night. A pair of parallel lines that would never intersect. Or… would this become a pattern that could only be completed by intersection?
Whichever one it was, it was going to be evident tonight.
You raised your head, seeing a champagne bottle and another of expensive liquor.
“Are you ready?”
Your eyes shifted and you smiled up at the waitress.
“Yes, I am.”
She smiled and bowed her way out. Revenge. You savored the word. You had never thought of it that way, but then again that was because you always believed in the higher road. In enduring. That was how strength was formed. Vindication was unladylike and uncouth. Or so the story goes. You became aware that you were being watched.
I don’t belong here.
You twisted your body and stared directly into Jeon Jungkook’s eyes.
He pivoted away immediately. Unable to hold your gaze. Ashamed, probably. You pondered quietly. He brought you into this. All this around you – beauty, opulence, and the shadows between gold. Even without him, your connection to these people remained because his friends believed in you for some reason. You agreed, because maybe there was still something here for you.
But that was no reason to believe that you belonged here nor to act like it.
You realized, suddenly, that some part of you still thought you had to keep up the front.
“Excuse me.”
You looked up to a man who had the expression of a pleased kitty cat. His eyes disappeared from his smile. Radiant, cream skin. Long, bleached-blond hair that was half-tied back from his face but still skimmed along his shoulders. He wore a suit and tie, perfectly tailored, and was noticeably shorter than nearly everyone here. Then again, almost everyone here was a model, in high heels, or both.
“Did I interrupt?” he asked lightly, his intonation hinting at a Busan dialect.
“Oh, no,” you answered with a shake of your head. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me to space out like that. Please, sit down.”
The man laughed behind his hand before pulling out the chair and sitting down. He had elegant fingers that reminded you of a pianist. “It was cute,” he commented, somewhat shyly, before turning away and clearing his throat. He faced you once again, composed now, and bowed in greeting, stating his name.
You hurriedly did the same.
“I hope I’m not thinking too highly of myself by sitting here with you.”
You shook your head. “No, no. I want this to be an open invitation.” You poured him a glass of liquor to start off the night. He had a noticeable presence. Not a towering one, rather, as someone who knew himself well. Still, you could sense an introverted soul. “Don’t feel too pressured. I only want to ask a question.”
His eyebrows raised, curious. “A question?”
You smiled. “Yes. And I want you to promise to answer honestly.”
His lips upturned thoughtfully. There was something playful about his expressions. Very cute. Perhaps unintentional. “A promise right away to a stranger?”
You allowed yourself a little mischief. “Do I look like I could hurt anyone?”
The man across the table caught the bait and toyed with it. An expert. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean It wouldn’t be pleasant.” He smiled again, with that same kitty cat contentment, and nodded. “Okay, I’m ready to tell the truth. You only get one chance. Use it well.” His tone teased, but his voice was sincere.
The question.
You stared into a stranger’s eyes and asked.
“What is the most important lesson in your life you’ve learned so far?”
-
i hear... | ... the whispers... | ... in your eyes.
--
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clairedaring · 3 days
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why is ming such an interesting character - a thoughtful essay originally posted in the my stand-in mdl comments section
By MDL user Liltsu (reposting with permission from OP, just added some gifs to illustrate OP's points) - original comment link
Probably an incoming unpopular opinion ahead (read with caution lol, disclaimer that I am not attempting to justifying Ming's wrongdoings to Joe, more so trying to understand for myself and anyone else why I find his character so interesting):
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Am I the only one who doesn’t hate Ming, and wouldn’t consider it to be a sad ending if Ming and Joe ended up together? At least as of now, especially from what I’ve seen currently and how I can imagine the direction the rest of the series might take. Let me expand.
For context, I went into this drama not expecting very much, and felt extremely sceptical of the trope of the ‘stand-in’ it uses, because one of my pet peeves in romance dramas is the ‘transfer’ phenomenon. If you haven’t heard that term before, it’s basically a psychological term about how a person (let’s call them A) will ‘imprint’ on someone else (person B). So to have a ‘transfer’ regarding someone else, for example, would mean that person A might have liked a person in the past (person C), and then meet someone new (person B) who resembles that person (C) in some way, and purely because of that, person A starts to also like or believe that they genuinely like person B. The problem with transfers is that they typically are rooted in a person’s (A) unwillingness to let go of the past person, and don’t truly love/hate (whatever emotion it is) the new person (B). This drama, reverses that trope.
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This will link to why I find Ming’s bond with Joe to be more genuine than I’ve seen be believed on here (just based on a few comments tbf). My theory is that, ironically, it was Tong all along that was Joe’s metaphorical stand-in from the start. Why? We see a short flashback of Ming going to the cinemas and seeing the ad/clip of ‘Tong’s’ back, doing a martial arts scene, but we only see his back. That very shot/scene is what made Ming feel entranced by Tong and motivated him to seek Tong out with his sister for an autograph. He even mentions it himself to Tong. However, I believe that the ‘back’ that Ming saw, was Joe’s and not Tong’s. Ming « fell in love » with Joe’s acting/aura/presence on the screen first, but mistook him for Tong who is the ‘known’ actor of the film he saw. So all along, his feelings for Tong are somewhat illusory, and obsessive. Tong, who in my opinion gets off of happily at the notion of someone being infatuated with him, simply strings Ming along (and uses him), as we’ve seen.
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In my opinion, Tong represents the side of Ming that was raised in a classist, materialistic family that rather obsesses about ‘spectacle’, in a way that harms Ming in the long-term. That kind of lifestyle or way of life makes him petty, distrustful, overtly and unreasonably jealous, and aggressive. Behaviours that manifest very evidently when Ming sees Joe with Sol, but particularly in correlation to scenes in which his affinity for Tong has been strengthened (Tong only sharpens the conditioning Ming has been raised through, that of being sceptical and always needing things to go his way, and fuels this, either by being in his direct company or feeding him seeds of doubt indirectly). Tong represents attachment and obsession but not love. Particularly the scene in which Ming renders Joe unconscious and keeps him captive is the most blatant example of Tong’s influence, which brings out all of the qualities of Ming that reflect the wealthy and entitled background he is born from and still lives off from.
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Ming’s interest in Joe is different in my opinion, and the series carefully points to this in a nuanced way. If my theory is correct about Ming having been drawn to Joe first, rather than Tong, and the feelings that were initially meant for Joe came to be directed toward Tong (and became twisted due to that fact), we can assume that Ming’s feelings for Joe are more…instinctual. They awaken something in Ming. And to me this is perfectly shown in their first interactions: Ming hugs Joe from behind, believing he is Tong, but if my guess turns out to be true, he subconsciously went toward Joe and embraced him with the original feelings that he felt at the cinema (when he truly ‘first’ saw him), rather than the other way around, which the series makes us believe at first glance. Then, in their interactions after, Ming is consciously reluctant to open up to Joe (showcasing the walls he has up, even toward Tong), but is still intuitively interested in Joe, wants to be around him, and cares about what he is up to. In my opinion, he sets unfair and unequal conditions in their relationship at first because of the self-défense mechanism he has kept up (someone with his background would find it difficult to trust and be vulnerable with someone else easily). This is why the most crucial interactions between Joe and Ming, in my view, are the scenes at Joe’s home. We see that Joe had said that Ming had fulfilled HIS dream to come back to a lit home and with someone welcoming you back warmly. I believe this is something Ming has long craved as well for himself, and Joe expressing this, and being the way he is, makes Ming feel safe and allows him to become more open, more intimate, more honest, more ‘himself’.
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I feel that Ming struggles to fully understand these sides of him, and has even more difficulty communicating it to others (especially Joe), but that his gentler moments show indeed the equal, and dare i say, even ‘healthy’ potential of this couple. We see this from the last scene of this episode. Instead of Ming indulging in luxuries for someone of his status, or succumbing to some kind of greed, he has pertained to what he has truly desired all along in his heart: a warm home, where he can lead an honest and loving life with the person who sees him past his social persona of the rich, pampered, entitled and obsessive kid. This is symbolised by the fact that he has continued to live in Joe’s home, waiting for him for the last two years, which reflects his commitment and earnestness which he had gradually developed for Joe, even before.
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I think what people get (understandably) confused or feel betrayed by, is the scene in which Joe realises he has been a ‘stand-in’ for Tong by Ming, especially during sex (because this is somewhat what Ming consciously believes for himself too). For me, I saw it more so as, on one level, the revelation of what I just mentioned about Ming’s prior conscious intention (which evidently is form of betrayal to Joe), and on another level, it is a defining moment of transition, where Ming is still somewhat clinging on to Tong (because of the feelings he first felt for him at the cinema, which could really be Joe again), but also clinging still to what he knows and about his way of going about things (through manipulation and violence).
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So a transition from that, into the growing feelings, appreciation, and warmth Ming did start to exhibit at Joe’s house (the symbol of vulnerable space). We see this through Ming buying the couple mugs with THEIR names (Ming and Joe), or the meaningful moments of genuine happiness that Ming feels in the simple, non judgemental moments between the two of them. This is something his sister comments about, that seeing Ming with Joe is surprisingly pleasant because it is the fist time in a very long time since she has seen Ming happy and so smiley (this is one of the biggest external piece of evidence to the idea that Ming’s « feelings » for Tong have a very different nature to his feelings for Joe). And we see this very clearly in the scene in which Joe bought a watch to Ming (and which I believe we see him promote now two years later on the poster he is). That scene is extremely significant because it shows the shift and differences of Ming alone with Joe compared to with Tong or how he is used to being. The watch is a gift from Joe, who believes it to be the « top » watch in terms of ‘quality’ and price, something we see Ming ALREADY HAS (and doesn’t have particular personal feelings toward). The top watch he has reflects his status, his wealthy background and the expectations on him by others and himself (to be considered societally the ‘best’, but in a rather vain way). However, Joe’s watch isn’t the top watch in a societal, classist sense, but it holds more value to Ming because it represents Joe’s sincerity and that matters more to him. The watch, which is typically a common symbol of time, also reflects, in my opinion, the difference in how Ming spends his time. By taking Joe’s watch and wearing it, his way of using time is also more personal and sincere, wanting to lead a life of authentic connection with someone on the same wavelength as you. In his act of taking of his old watch, which was the ‘top watch’, Ming leaves behind his old lifestyle, or at least takes on more step toward exiting it (the life of vanity and falsehoods). So all these signs of Ming’s genuine interest, endearment and feelings of care for Joe are sprinkled there from the beginning, and the series deliberately is setting a constraint between his potential for warmth and healthy sincerely with the baggage he still has from his past through Tong and his family (something he both feels and is to some extent very much controlled by).
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The series has really made me invested, and that has really been invigorating for me (as I binged the episodes today) because I haven’t really felt that as much with a lot of BL series lately - not that there aren’t don’t get me wrong, just that it feels like fewer have my engagement than usual. And to me, the series’ strength at this point (excluding the very good acting etc) is the writing, so I am very hopeful that for the parts of Ming that would require a form of redemption, or improvement, that the series would allow him to have that arc by the time that Joe and him supposedly get back together (if they do). In the case where my interpretation is close to the series’ intention, then i believe that although it doesn’t make the previous scenes justified, that it would be very much possible for Joe and Ming’s relationship to take on a healthier, more mature turn, where their relationship would become more patient, communicative and understanding, just like the interactions they shared in their own shared home.
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I’ll probably end my train of thought here, but would really like to hear if anyone disagrees or agrees with my opinions, would be happy to hear from anyone hihi. Thank you to those who read this whole e s s a y, i’m appreciative of that :).
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rottenpumpkin13 · 2 days
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need the firsts to play paintball. who takes it WAY too seriously? who gets paint in their mouth accidentally? who does it on purpose?
The story of why/how Cloud got court martialled for dunking Sephiroth's head in a bucket of paint
• Nothing good comes out of Genesis being bored at 2PM during a slow work day. Following that logic, horrible horrible things come out of Genesis dropping a paintball gun on Angeal's desk.
Genesis: We're playing paintball. Whoever shoots the most paint at their target wins.
Angeal: You are unbelievably childish. Do you really think Sephiroth is immature enough to go along with this?
*Sephiroth appears at the door and shoots Angeal and Genesis with paintballs*
Angeal:
Genesis:
Sephiroth: Tell me, what does defeat feel like? I wouldn't know.
• Sephiroth runs away.
• Sephiroth didn't think this through because now Angeal is running after him with a paintball, vowing to shoot Sephiroth's hair with paint.
*Angeal shoots, Sephiroth ducks*
• It hits Zack with red paint. Zack immediately throws himself to the ground.
Zack: I'M DYING.
Angeal: It's red paint.
Zack: I'VE BEEN PAINTED WITH DEATH.
Angeal:
Zack: MY DREADFULLY SHORT LIFE HAS COME TO AN END. WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF MY TAMAGOTCHI WHEN I'M NO LONGER HERE TO CARE FOR THOSE I LOVE?
Angeal: You're literally fine. The paint didn't even hit a fatal area.
*Kunsel and Roche appear. Kunsel starts drawing a chalk outline of Zack's body while Roche hangs up crime scene tape*
Angeal: ???
• Meanwhile Genesis gets to Sephiroth first. He corners him by the data room and shoots him with paint.
• This angers Sephiroth greatly.
• Sephiroth starts walking towards him slowly.
• Genesis tries to shoot him again. but the paintball is stuck.
• Sephiroth continues to approach.
• Genesis starts sobbing while trying to shoot him.
• Sephiroth is near.
*Lazard walks in on this scene*
Lazard: Are you two serious? I'm in disbelief. Never would I have thought you would sink to this level.
• Genesis panic-shoots Lazard instead.
• This time the paint does come out.
• There is now yellow paint on Lazard's expensive suit and glasses.
Genesis: Oh no. Sephiroth, help. What do we do?
*Genesis looks to Sephiroth for help. Sephiroth is long gone*
Genesis: Son of a bitch.
• Lazard drags Genesis away by the ear. They walk by the break room, where a funeral for Zack is being held. Kunsel is reading the eulogy while Zack (alive) lays in the casket. Angeal is screaming "FOR FUCKS SAKE. HE'S ALIVE. IT WAS RED PAINT."
• Sephiroth appears out of nowhere and panic-hits Lazard in the head with the paintball gun.
• Lazard is knocked out.
Genesis: Sephiroth! Did you shoot the director just to save me? I'm flattered. I cannot believe I ever doubted your friendship.
Sephiroth: I don't know what you mean. I simply intend to finish our game.
*Sephiroth points the paintball gun at Genesis*
Genesis: You motherless whore.
• Sephiroth shoots.
• Genesis ducks.
• It hits Cloud Strife, who had just arrived on the 49th floor to attend Zack's fake funeral. Cloud is now covered in purple paint.
Sephiroth: Oh, Cloud, my apologies. I had meant to shoot Genesis to settle our dispute, but you were unfortunately caught in the crossfire.
Cloud:
Sephiroth: While I understand why this may be a cause for anger, I believe in your ability to handle matters calmly without holding onto resentment or taking it personally.
Cloud:
Sephiroth: Right?
Cloud:
Sephiroth: Why is my sword in your hand?
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razorblade180 · 2 days
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9 days of Lancaster Day 1: Training
Ruby considered herself an honest girl. Maybe a light fib every once and awhile but she really tried speaking her mind often! She meant it when she said she wishes to be a normal girl with normal knees. However, as Jaune flipped her onto a sparring mat, the next words out of her mouth made her wish seem like a lie.
Ruby:I am better than this outcome! I’m a natural born fighter, so why is this so hard!
Jaune:You really weren’t kidding about your hand to hand skills. I’m not even good.
Ruby:Lies! We all can’t be roommates with a ninja and learn cool skills!
Jaune:Yeah but…YOU have a ninja roommate.
Ruby:….
Jaune:…And a martial arts sis-
Ruby:Shut up! *springs up* Again! I’m focused! I will get you.
Jaune:Ren said most things come down to balance and timing. Try not rush this.
Ruby:I’d like to point out my weapon gives me reach and an immaculate pace. Without it you’re like two of me.
Jaune:Yeah but you’re amazing. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon enough.
Ruby:Your kindness has no effect on me.
Jaune:Pin me and I will buy lunch. If you lose then you do it.
Ruby:You’re on!
Without hesitation, a flying kick went past Jaune’s head. He barely had time to put his hands up to block a flurry of tiny but rapid fists.
The pressure was short lived when Jaune threw a punch that forced Ruby to weave. Darn his long arms! She put all her concentration into bobbing left and right, successfully avoiding slower but powerful blows as she worked the ring. Lunch was on the line and it wasn’t looking too good for her. She had to really think about her attacks. She was faster but Jaune was no slouch. It all comes down to timing.
Ruby noticed his right shoulder move back and began ducking as Jaune sent a right hook. As she ducked, Ruby made her move; a right uppercut was headed his way then immediately pulled back as he went to block. The faint worked! Ruby twisted her body into a left jab aimed right for his face! Unfortunately, the blow failed spectacularly. Jaune raised his right palm and caught it! No way he predicted that! Ruby immediately went for right but was once again caught and both arms were raised above her head. She refused to give up her free lunch!
Both of them made their move. Ruby went to knee him with her right but wasn’t expecting him to lean her body backwards. She quickly lost balance and her leg was caught with his left hand as her wrists became pinned by his right against a wall. She hadn’t even noticed how far back they moved during the fight. Did he purposely lead her over here!? The proud but surprised smile on his face told her yes. Ruby couldn’t help but pout as he chuckled.
Ruby:Ren has taught you too much.
Jaune:Lunch is on you today.
Ruby:This is clearly a draw.
Jaune:Rubes, you’re pinned.
Ruby:Last time i checked, your arms are full. Looks like we both can’t properly attack. I call that a draw~
She confidently huffed. That was until their little stare down slowly grew closer.
Jaune:You really think I’m out of moves?
Ruby:Pr-Prove me wrong.
Why was she stuttering? Now was not the time to show weakness to the enemy! Cobalt eyes grew ever larger as they got closer to pools of silver. The grip on her wrists became a bit more firm, as well as his fingers behind her knee. Escaping the pin suddenly felt more like a suggestion than a need, and Ruby was so thrown off right now all she could think to do was close her eyes and wait for his “attack”
After what felt like an eternity, a soft press against her forehead connected with his own before leaving. Suddenly her limbs were free and she felt his presence back off. Ruby opened her eyes to see her friend looking completely the other way with his ears as red as her cape l; and her face at this point.
Jaune:See? I could’ve headbutted you.
Ruby:Y-Yeah…right. I can’t argue with that. *rubs head* Lunch is on me.
Jaune:Let’s call it here. Also… I will but dessert.
He briskly runs off, leaving Ruby to stew in the moment. She didn’t know what was worse; that he might’ve been going for a headbutt from the start but she clearly puckered up, or the fact she could still feel his grip on her. Either way, she was dying inside.
Ruby:(Why does hand to hand have to be so close?!)
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xspeter · 1 day
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꥟ luke castellan x f!reader
꥟ angst. based off of “a house in nebraska” by ethel cain. also kind of “loml” by taylor swift because that song plays a part in every piece of angst i write. :)
꥟ notes: idk guys i was feeling really sad for some reason so here’s this. i don’t love it but i was playing around with a different writing style and i really like it… let me know what yall think tho!!!! also the next installment in dancing with our hands tied is in the works as we speak
꥟ W.C: 2.1k
꥟ m.list
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You’d met Luke on a muddy mattress on the floor in the middle of an abandoned house in Nebraska.
It’d been by complete coincidence. Two run away half-bloods seeking refuge anywhere they could, even if it was in a cold, dirty house.
“I didn’t know anyone was staying here.” A then fourteen-year-old Luke had mumbled, brown eyes darting across your body suspiciously. You swallowed, slowly standing and doing your best to discreetly wipe the leaves off of your shorts.
You’d studied him. Taking in the numerous cuts all over his body, all the way to his worn-down backpack filled to the brim, waying on down his shoulders. “Neither did I.”
Luke sniffed, but didn’t make any moves to leave. Neither did you. Instead, you just leaned against the wall, arms crossed over your chest.
“What are you running from?” You eventually drawled out. If the question surprised the boy, he didn’t show it. Instead, he slipped his backpack off and let it drop to the floor. “I don’t know.”
You snorted. How ridiculous was that? Running from something you weren’t even sure of.
Yet, you understood.
“What are you running from?”
The question doesn’t surprise you. Honestly, you were expecting it. You just shrugged, allowing your head to slump against the wall. “I don’t know.”
Maybe it was fate, maybe it was the God's doing—some cruel joke they used as a stress relief, or maybe it was just pure coincidence. But if there was one thing you knew, it was that meeting Luke Castellan had been the start of something you’d never be able to understand.
Something beautiful, pure, and just so right.
Something devastating, dirtied, and just so wrong.
“Guess we’re not so different then.”
You smirked, eyes filled with mirth. “I guess not.”
Luke studied you for a moment, searching for something you weren’t sure of. But, then he reached down and unzipped his bag, pulling out various items. A hoodie, some comic books, a dark blue water bottle, and then finally— a bag of white cheddar popcorn.
He popped open the bag, then stuck his dirtied hands into the bag and pulled a handful out. He tilted his head back and let them fall into his mouth, and then threw chews he said, “Want some?”
You pushed off the wall, stomach growling and desperate. “Hell yes.”
You and Luke spent three days inside that house. Just the two of you, with no Gods and no quests. No parents and no monsters. Just two kids, running from something they weren’t sure of.
And maybe that was how it was always supposed to be. Just you and Luke in that house in Nebraska. But, then Grover had found you and told you about the Gods and Camp Half-Blood. And devastatingly, you had chosen to leave.
At some point, you’d come to terms that Camp Half-Blood had been the thing you’d been looking for. Whether it was subconsciously or not, you’d always been meant to end up there.
And not just because of your Godly parents, but because it meant you’d be with Luke.
Luke, who’s become your best friend somewhere along the way. Luke, who’d seen you at your lowest and you his. Luke, who you’d somehow fallen in love with without ever meaning to.
Luke, who’d left you without a single word.
There were no words to explain the pain that constantly weighs down on your heart. The never ending nauseousness. Never ending tears. Never ending grief.
There was a hole in your heart, one that’d been so viciously ripped out without an apology and still dripped with blood.
“How could he do this?” You whimpered, knees pulled into your chest as you stared out at the lake, stars hanging in the sky like patterns.
Annabeth sighs, her braided hair pulled back into a ponytail. Despite the darkness of the night, you can still see the heavy bags that hang under her eyes. “I don’t know.”
There’s no way to respond, not when your throat begins to ache and you can feel the familiar warble forming in your unspoken words. You look out at the water, and you remember your last conversation with him.
He’d looked the same, though you’re not sure why you expected him to look any different. You remember the smile on your face when he’d dragged you out here, how the darkness had made it feel like you were the only two left in the world.
Now, it just reminded you of how alone you were.
“Luke, why did you drag me out here?” You’d asked between giggles, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. You’d looked up at him as if he’d hung the stars over your head, and sometimes, you were sure you’d thought he had.
He’d just shrugged, leading you to the edge of the lake and grabbing your hand. The touch had been so familiar that it didn’t even phase you. He’d sat down, and you’d followed him without so much as a word.
“Do you remember the first time we met?” He asked, and you’d nodded. How could you ever forget that house in Nebraska?
“I could never forget.”
Luke smiled, looking out at the water with an indescribable look in his eyes. Maybe that’s when you should’ve known— when you couldn’t read him. You’d always been able to read him. But you’d stupidly chopped it up to you being tired and never thought anything of it. Maybe if you had, things could’ve been different.
“Do you ever miss it?” He asked.
Your eyebrows furrowed, and you shrugged. “Miss what?”
He sighs, leaning back on his hands and letting his head fall towards you. “When it was just us in that house and… we didn’t know about all of this? When we were just kids running from something that we had no idea even existed?”
The question had surprised you, but you did your best not to show it. Honestly, you didn’t ever really even think about that. You had everything you needed at Camp Half-Blood, why would you ever miss a place where you’d felt the most confused?
But, at the same time, the thought of it leaves an ache in your heart that you can’t quite understand. The place had been the beginning of something you’d never thought you’d deserved to have, it’d been where you'd met Luke.
Maybe you should miss it.
“Now that I’m thinking about it, yeah. But, I’ve never, like, lost sleep over it.”
Luke didn’t say anything. Didn’t even make a noise. He just stared out at the lake.
“Why are you asking?” You finally asked.
Luke sighed, shaking his head softly in a way that made him look older than he was. As if he’d seen things no one else had. “It’s just been on my mind lately.”
Your lips curled up into a small smile, and your hand found his in the grass, laying over it in a comforting manner. “Why?”
Luke looked at you like he wanted to say something. Like he had a million things on his chest that he desperately wanted to let spill out. “I’m not sure.”
You just hummed, thumb tracing shapes into the skin of his hand.
Luke leaned up suddenly, his brown eyes searching yours and smile lines prominent. “Let’s swear that one day we’ll live there. We’ll get real good jobs so we can fix it up and everything.”
You giggled, but not in a mocking way. More of a surprised way. “What about when we get married? Are we just gonna live there with our spouses?” You asked. You’d discovered long ago that you loved Luke in a different way than he loved you, and had come to terms with it. So asking questions like this didn’t hurt you as much anymore.
But, Luke just looked confused. His eyebrows furrowed and his head slightly tilted. “What do you mean?”
You picked at the stems of grass in the ground and shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. “Well, I don’t think your future wife is really going to enjoy living in the same house as your best friend.”
Silence followed for a few moments before Luke laughed. Actually laughed.
You rolled your eyes, pushing his shoulder and crossing your arms over your chest. “You’re such an ass.”
Luke took a moment to catch his breath, before finally, with red cheeks and slightly glassy eyes he said, “I’d always thought my future wife would be my best friend.”
At first, his statement hurts you. He’d always planned on replacing you? It leaves a sickening feeling in your stomach.
But then you look at him. Actually look at him. And you realize what he meant. “Oh.” You murmur.
Luke snorts, “Yeah. Oh.”
Your mouth goes dry, jaw dropping in shock. What were you supposed to say? Was Luke admitting feelings for you, or was this just a platonic thing?
Luke must’ve been able to read your thoughts, though you aren’t sure why you ever thought he couldn’t, and through a widening grin he says, “Don’t overthink it, okay? Just… let’s just be us for a second. Without The Gods and Chiron and camp. Just us. Like it was in Nebraska.”
You just nod, because what could you even say to that? And, besides, you’d take any moment alone with Luke that you could. Because you loved him, and maybe he loved you too.
You leaned your head on his shoulder, knees pushing into your chest as you looked out at the lake and stars.
Luke Castellan was your best friend. Luke Castellan was the love of your life. Luke Castellan was yours, and nothing would ever change that.
Until it did.
You wish you could remember that day better, but you can’t. It had seemed so mundane- a normalcy you had come to miss.
You and Luke, together like always. Percy, Annabeth, and Grover had returned from their quest, and you’d been so happy for them.
You think you remember Luke being happy too, but now… you weren’t sure.
You remember wandering around camp looking for him, and sometimes, you wish you’d never found him. Had never stumbled across it, had never been scarred with seeing the boy you loved like that.
Had never felt the gruesome hands of betrayal wrap around your throat.
“Luke, what are you doing?” You remember saying, watching as he pointed his sword at Percy like he was an enemy.
Luke had stiffened, that much you know. You think there was a flash of regret in his eyes, a flash of unsureness.
“This doesn’t have anything to do with you.” He’d said, eyes never looking away from Percy.
Percy, who looked so hurt and shocked.
“What are you doing?” You had cried again, taking a step closer. Finally, his gaze ripped away from Poseidon's son and to you, and sometimes in your nightmares, you can still feel the way it burned into you.
“Y/N, please, leave.”
His hands shook as he said it, but the sword never faltered from Percy’s neck.
You think it was here that you realized something bad was happening. That this wasn’t some sick joke. This was real. Luke was really doing this.
You remember the tears more than anything. The hot, fat tears that ran down your cheeks like a never ending storm.
But, Luke’s face morphed into something you’d never seen. He looked angry— no, he looked furious. At what you’d never know, but he turned to Percy again and said, “Last chance.”
But Percy turned down whatever it was he was asking of him again, and then Luke glanced at you for the last time.
His brown eyes, once filled with love, were now empty. Dull. Something you had never seen in him before.
And he didn’t say anything when he left. He just did. Running away from Percy, from camp, from you.
From that house.
You don’t remember screaming, you just know that you had. You’d felt the rawness in your voice the day after.
And even now, after a week, you sit out at the lake with Annabeth and wonder why. Why did he do it? What could’ve been more important than the future he’d planned with you days before?
“Annabeth?” You murmur, eyes searching hers.
She just hums, and it’s then that you understand. Why he had reminded you of the house, why he’d planted the dream of living in it in your head.
“Do you think when all of this is over you’d want to live in Nebraska with me?”
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cobaltperun · 1 day
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Congrats on the 500 love!! You deserve so much more❤️
Can I request a drabble or something really short of Lost!Tara and Reader where Tara is about to pick up the kids from school while R is out of town doing CEO stuff and comes to surprise Tara and the kids at school but all the people are drooling over r cause she is still in her ceo attire but R only having eyes for Tara and her kids while ignoring literally everyone else. (It's alright if this is weird and you don't wanna write this.)
Lost (Side - 2) - School Visit
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Tara Carpenter x female Reader (Request)
Summary: After a brief business trip all you want to do is surprise your family and pick them up from school. (Set between Lost 29 and 30)
Story masterlist
Word count: 0.6k
If there was one thing you absolutely loved about your job, it was that most of it could be done from home, which meant that you could maximize the time spent with Tara and your children. That being said there were still some occasional business trips you needed to leave them for. This one was supposed to be four-day long, but you managed to get everything done in three, so here you were, fresh from the airport and checking the time as you rushed to the garage.
You still had time to drive to the school and pick the kids and Tara up, as long as you didn't waste time. So, while still dressed up in your navy blue three-piece suit with a white button-up shirt underneath you jumped in your car and got going.
It's been years since Tara drove a car, seeing as you being home most of the time meant she didn't exactly need it, so that meant she wasn't exactly keen on driving for the first time in years with the twins in the car. And they were still just seven, so you picked them up from school, either driving or walking there.
When you parked on the school's parking lot you noticed people coming out of the school with their children, so you were just in time. You saw the three of them immediately. Tara, holding Zack and Susan's hands and laughing with them as she listened to them telling her about their day, and you paused. No matter how many times you got to see the scene in front of you, you were always mesmerized, thankful for the family you wished for all your life, though you didn't quite know it until Tara brought it up for the first time.
"Mom!" Zack was the first to notice you and he let go of Tara's hand and ran toward you, with Tara and Susan still surprised to see you walking to meet them in the middle of the schoolyard.
"Easy buddy, watch your step," you easily lifted the boy up and hugged him.
"Mom!" Susan got over her initial surprise and you dropped to your knee so she could run into your arms as well.
"Sue," you went and kissed both of your children as Tara walked over to you and kissed your cheek as you got up with the twins now in your arms.
Tara looked you over, her eyebrow rising a bit. "Baby, maybe you should be more considerate," she smirked cheekily and traced the collar of your suit.
"Hmm?" you tilted your head a bit.
"Let's just say it's good I'm no longer jealous," she whispered, though she still leaned closer, her hand going up and sliding around your neck, just a tiny bit possessively.
"Just a bit possessive?" you chuckled and finally looked around. Some people were staring at you, and you guessed the suit you were wearing did show off your muscles a bit more than your casual clothes did. You just didn't notice all the attention you were getting.
Tara did though. "Just appreciating what others can only look at," she smiled, winking at you.
"Mommy/Mom!" Susan and Zack complained, making you and Tara laugh.
"Okay, okay, sorry about that," you apologized.
"How about we take you on a picnic this Saturday as an apology?" Tara offered, it was a bit of a habit the four of you formed, at least once a month you all went out for a picnic and the twins loved it.
They looked at one another before grinning widely and nodding.
A/N: Come on, you know I had to write a Lost request before most of the other requests, and Anon, you have no idea how thankful I am you requested this! 😁😁💙💙 Also, thanks!
Taglist: @alexkolax
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sgiandubh · 1 day
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From barf bag to pity party
The whole 'Kick in the hornets' nest' involuntary series was started by this Anon, received by the de facto leader of the Disgruntled Tumblrettes yesterday evening (in Europe):
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The next morning, another Anon chimed in, on the same page, with what prompted the First Kick: S has a child with 'a woman', but God forbid, not with C 🤣🤣🤣.
And then, one of their group felt the need (then the clearly irritated urge) to come back and comment on the above Anon. No less than 5 (five!) long and plethoric comments were written, prompting my Second and Third Kicks - as you all know, the woman practically begged for them.
I feel it's time to show some mercy and draw the line here.
This blog is read (and trusted) by many. Comments were received. Very interesting, matter-of-fact submissions, to say the least. You know: FACTS (🤣🤣🤣). People who have rich and full and loving lives, people who travel. People who don't even agree on many things, yet spontaneously concurred on what things very probably looked like, on that Palm Sunday morning.
Exhibit 1: Mom and Traveler #1 (a mom I am not - but I was a child, unbelievable as it might sound, and I absolutely confirm every single bit of it)
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I am not yet ridden with dementia, and I remember very well waking everyone up at ungodly hours and refusing my mandatory afternoon siesta (a very bad habit we have in Southern Europe). I wish I would still have that same insane energy now. I also wish I would have kept my 3 year old fashion model food quirks - but that is another story.
However, I am a dog slave (not owner) and as such, I am taking Baby out for his short (but excruciating) morning routine at 7:30 AM. Come rain or shine. Beg him to finish his business with grace and dignity. He never listens. Labs are a charming, addictive handful and my Greek boy is no exception:
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Exhibit 2: Mom and Traveler #2. Who happened to be in GLA on Palm Sunday, March 24, 2024 (for the thick people at the back!):
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All that trip was abundantly documented on her own page. I am reasonably sure she might be reblogging this with her own pics from that day.
And now, for the real questions at stake:
Why make such an unbelievable fuss over an Anon with no pic, that I was reluctant to publish myself?
Why have a cosmic meltdown, in public nonetheless, if you do think this is such a pile of unbelievable nonsense crap? (*imagine the freakout in DMs, if this made the headlines!)
How many times has/have S (or C, or SC) been seen by Antis in GLA in similar postures, without a word being uttered in public?
Why would such an occurrence be An Event, outside of this (help me, I have no words) fandom?
Why insist with your crappy arguments, when it is plain to see you have got all your facts dreadfully wrong?
Why mention 'central Glasgow', when it is public lore (and included in Waypoints!) that S does not live there anymore? (* I blacked out the exact reference, which makes total sense - the least thing I would like to see happening is freaks like you stalking them)
One last time, you insist - comments 6 and 7 (wow, girl!):
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First comment is a lie and if you read my Anon (and you know you all did and discussed it to oblivion) you'll have also read this:
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Which part of 'he didn't approach' you don't get, in plain English, madam? I am lousy at drawing, but hey - for the cause (open in separate page, questionable humor included):
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Second comment, I won't even get into it. God only knows what the hell you meant. I am Romanian and we tend to be a very sarcastic bunch - especially the Southerners.
You posted those at about 2:45 AM, local time (if you are, indeed, a Scot). That's 4:45 AM my time.
I am a lifelong sufferer of insomnia. You, madam, you are mad wae it, as they say in Glasgow.
Don't drink and post, seriously. It makes for a very #sorry hangover show.
And with this, I am done with you. All of you, in that corner. You showed me more than enough. You know there is substance to that Anon, despite the lack of a picture - hence the collective freakout.
From barf bag to pity party. Who knew?
[Later edit:] re-reading the sixth comment, I think she wants to imply it was the 'other child' - I was literally blind with sleep when I first saw it. Well, there is no evidence of whatever she is trying to explain (has she contacted The Climber? between midnight and 2 AM, local time?). Also, a 5 year old child is not a toddler anymore: kids are considered toddlers up to 3, only. That boy, as we all know (and I am sorry we do), has dark hair - where is the resemblance Anon noticed?
Desperate, grasping at straws, lying through her teeth and mad wae it, all the way.
@pamalissou, thanks for bringing us a third mom's POV in your reblog.
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SaiyanPrincessSwanie Reading List Weeks 199 & 200
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A/N: Thank you again to those who gave me recommendations for fanfics. 💜 This week had me reading 35 fics. Absolutely amazing stuff here.
As always these will be listed in no particular order. None of these stories are mine. I’m just signal-boosting them. The author is listed next to the title. My goal is to signal boost writers and spread positivity in the community.  💜💜
Click HERE to see what I will or won’t read. This is very important.
Click HERE for past reading lists.
For my Masterlist click HERE.
Please make sure you’re reading the warnings on every story. They range from dark to fluff. Do Not Read if you are under 18 years old. These stories are meant for adults only. You’re responsible for your own media consumption.
Page-break by @whimsicalrogers
Header by @fictional-affairs
If you can, please reblog these lists so they can reach more people on Tumblr.
I love you 3000 💜 Missy
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Perfect for Me - (Steve x Reader) - @saiyanprincessswanie
Coincidence - (Steve x Reader) - @nekoannie-chan
Wildflowers - (Brock Rumlow X Sinthea Schmidt) - @nekoannie-chan
MIDNIGHT MAGNETISM - (Andy x Reader) - @labella420
Enjoying the Show - (Ari x Reader x Ransom) - @stargazingfangirl18
Night Night, Nugget! - (Bucky x Reader) - @nicoline1998enilocin
Gun for hire (Prologue) - (Lloyd x Reader) - @holylulusworld
Steve Drabble - @stargazingfangirl18
The Gift - (Andy x Reader) - @stargazingfangirl18
Filled to the Brim - (Steve x Reader) - @labella420
Come back - (Steve x Reader) - @nekoannie-chan
Fight For Me - Chp 1 - (Alvey Kulina/OFC) - @talia-rumlow
What's Hers Is Mine - (Bucky x Reader) - @targaryenvampireslayer
Tunnel - (Ororo Munroe, Logan Howlett) - @nekoannie-chan
Office - (Steve x Reader) - @nekoannie-chan
Little Punk - (Bucky x Reader) - @targaryenvampireslayer
Bad Romance - (Lloyd x Reader) - @deliciousangelfestival
Jawbreaker - (Bucky x Reader) - @navybrat817
Ari Dark Concepts - @hansensgirl
His Inheritance ~ Chp 34 - (Steve x Reader) - @jtargaryen18
Gun for hire (1) - (Lloyd x Reader) - @holylulusworld
Gun for hire (2) - (Lloyd x Reader) - @holylulusworld
Lurking in the Shadows - (Curtis x Reader) - @stargazingfangirl18
A Bit Longer - (Bucky x Reader) - @navybrat817
Like This - (Winter Soldier x Reader) - @jobean12-blog
You and Me - (Winter Soldier x Reader) - @jobean12-blog
Escape - (Steve, Brock) - @nekoannie-chan
Books - (Steve x Reader) - @nekoannie-chan
Feelings - (Steve x Reader) - @nekoannie-chan
Life Is Short So Make It Sweet - Chp 6 - (Curtis x Honey) - @sweater-daddiesdumbdork
Evermore - Proposal - (Ari x Reader, Andy x Reader) - @joannaliceevans-fanficblog
Evermore - Part 4 - (Ari x Reader, Andy x Reader) - @joannaliceevans-fanficblog
Finding Home (5) - (Bucky x Reader) - @jobean12-blog
Reconnect - We Don't Talk Anymore - (Bucky x Reader) - @navybrat817
Your Mark On Me - Part 9 - (Steve x Reader) - @georgiapeach30513
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cocogum · 2 days
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Each passing day I'm more and more convinced of the fact that Aurora is unworthy of the Sadida throne, not only because she's an Osamodas who refuses to have the one (1) person she actually needs around (Amalia), but because it's blatantly obvious she never cared about her husband's people and, more glaringly, his family.
And the biggest evidence I have of that, besides her scornful treatment of Amalia, is the Sheran Sharms' tomb-trees.
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Season 4 opened up with what seemed to be Armand bidding his father goodbye and then returning to the palace with Aurora, instead of, you know, his wife being there with him as he mourned his father like in any good marriage.
At first I attributed that to the possibility that the tomb-trees were meant to be a sacred place only the royal family had access to, but the webtoon has swiftly debunked that theory.
Because upon returning in chapter three she announced she and her father (an even bigger outsider than she is) would be waiting by Armand's tomb-tree while Amalia got her things in order. Likewise, in chapter 5, Yugo was there beside Amalia as she spent time with her late family and reflected on what to do, supporting her.
And while it could be argued Aurora simply didn't want to intrude upon her husband's grief, it should also be pointed out the second Yugo learned Amalia lost her father his first instinct was to go and be there for her, only being stopped by his mother pointing out Amalia would most likely prefer to be alone. Whereas, as I mentioned before, married couples are expected to be there for each other when one of them loses a loved one.
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(Which already reflects how Yumalia is the superior royal couple, but I digress).
This all comes to show Aurora never cared about her in-laws and, therefore, even if she came to care for Armand and vice versa, what they had was never true love, they just grew fond of each other with time. And, quite frankly, someone with so little regard for the people and family she's supposed to serve just doesn't deserve to be queen, period.
Hey geekgirles ✨
Let me just say that I 100% agree with you on the fact that Aurora DOES NOT deserve the kingdom for all the reasons you stated.
What’s funny is that before The Great Wave chapter 6 was released, I believed that there was one thing that was acceptable about her.
And I now hate that idea for even thinking about it.
And that was her view on the sadidas.
Yeah, I’m not going to stand here and tell you that she actually absolutely cares for them or secretly wants to be with them rather than in her father’s kingdom. No way in hell.
She fled like a coward from the necrome war that would have completely annihilated the entire Sadida race so her level of care for the sadidas is extremely low. Lower than a bottom feeder.
Despite this, and the very accurate facts that you enumerated, I used to think that she strangely had some kind of…endearment towards her late husband’s people?
(I genuinely don’t know if I’m making any sense saying this)
What I mean by that is that she might have felt some type of pride or emotional pull to them. She never ruled anything before, much less been married to another royal. So seeing all these people praise and call for Armand, a man who she genuinely loved, made her feel pure joy at the idea of being with them.
When she and Armand walked up to the balcony to talk to the people, we can see Aurora smiling while Armand looks much less happy (due to his father’s passing).
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She has a hand behind his back, supporting him through this moment.
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When they walk up to the balcony, the people rejoice in their new king and we can see Aurora’s smile getting bigger at the praises. She was even going to shed a tear!
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As much as I loathe this woman, I cannot ignore the fact that she does care about Armand, and due to that, loves the attention he is receiving from his people.
So to make it short, I used to think she loved the sadidas on her own accord but it turns out she used to appreciate them because she loves Armand.
That’s how I would describe her relationship with the sadidas.
Everything that relates her to them is because of Armand. That’s it.
And she keeps on loving him even after his death in the worst ways.
(spoilers for chapter 6 under the cut)
She was angry at seeing a sadida and an eliatrope get married because Armand hated eliatropes.
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Aurora: “My Armand would have never permitted this!”
Aurora: “He hated the eliatropes!”
She was saying how Armand would have never accepted the eliatropes so therefore she hates the idea of them being here as well.
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Aurora: “This little pest doesn’t waste any time!”
Aurora: “In only a few months, she had given some funny ideas to my subjects…”
She was referring to the sadidas as “my subjects” because she still believes she has the right to call them like that, reminiscing about the time she used to be with Armand. If she wasn’t reminiscing, then she would’ve called them “my children’s subjects” or simply “the sadidas”.
Aurora is the embodiment of a trophy wife.
She had been promised to get married to Armand.
She hates and likes what Armand hates and likes.
She doesn’t do anything besides being by Armand’s side and holding his hand every now and then.
She doesn’t speak in any political situation and just sits next to Armand most of the time.
She doesn’t fight alongside Armand and simply stands in the back waiting.
She doesn’t have a throne seat of her own. She sits in the only small space available to her in Armand’s seat.
Her only excuse for getting the throne back is her pregnancy.
She listens to her father most of the time.
She listens to her husband most of the time.
Her only accomplishment was getting married.
This pretentious blue cow has nothing special or charming about her.
The only skill she has is literally looking petty.
So yeah, based on what I gathered, it doesn’t even matter if Aurora did like the sadidas because she’s not even suited to be their ruler. I think Armand was just horny so he accepted the arranged marriage (if he couldn’t get Eva then he might as well pick another blonde lol)
But with the things she has said, I believe Aurora only likes the sadidas by default because she likes Armand. That’s it. If Armand never existed, she wouldn’t have even glanced at the Sadida Kingdom, let alone think about these people for a millisecond.
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never not mine | jjk | "... the whispers..."
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game. This confrontation is long overdue and is either going to end in handcuffs or tangled limbs.
part i | this is part ii | part iii
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; alcohol consumption; things are thrown during a public altercation; second chance romance?; angst and fluff and feels; Jungkook's POV
non-idol!AU; fashion model!Jungkook — ft fellow model/actor!Kim Taehyung and model/businessman!Kim Seokjin; a few cameos you can speculate on and one named cameo hehe; reader is not part of the entertainment industry
--
whether I'm gonna be your wife or gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back – imgonnagetyouback by taylor swift
It was a night just like any other night, which meant Jeon Jungkook was somewhere doing something because he was someone. On this night he was visiting a new upscale nightclub owned by one of his close friends, which was why he was at a table surrounded by his bros, expensive bottles of alcohol, and beautiful women. Not his scene, really. He was an introvert at heart. Despite that, he had obligations to be here. Obligations to laugh, to jest, to be merry, to be somebody.
But he knew he was just a somebody surrounded by much better bodies.
So, really, he was only a ghost.
“Hey, isn’t that…?”
It was luck and good friends that got him in the position he was in now. Jungkook knew that. He couldn’t complain too much when they invited him out. After all, they were only doing it because they cared about him. Yeah.
“She's really staring at you, man.”
Someone nudged his arm. For a moment, he didn’t comprehend that it was him that was being spoken to. Maybe it was the heavy black leather jacket. Underneath, he wore a tight white tank, and completed his outfit with studded charcoal-wash jeans and black leather boots. Nice, sure, but there were other men that much more sharply dressed with bigger designer labels. Of course, he cleaned up well with his slicked-back black hair and clean-shaven jawline. So did any other male model out there. He was not so egotistical to think he was the most interesting man there.
“Hmph, who?” he snickered, swinging around in his chair with the ice in his glass clinking. He would figure out who everyone was talking about from the reactions of the public. He snapped his head around, stray tendrils of black falling free onto his forehead, obscuring his vision for a split second, and then he faced the crowd beneath the VIP tables.
Time slowed.
The club was loud. Very loud, due to the deafening combination of music, chatter and laughter. It was lit with the imperfect balance of light and dark, oscillating spotlights exposing corners and weaving through moving bodies clad in fitted dresses, high heels, tailored blazers, suit pants. The alcohol was high-grade. The crowd was cherry-picked and pre-screened at the door. It was what it was. Individuals who had money blowing money, ignoring the sins around them to commit their own. It was hard to pick out someone.
But Jungkook saw her right away.
The club became quiet from his point of view. Sound became a mishmash of muffled, incoherent noises fading to the background as the faces blurred. The music dulled. All lights dimmed except in one area. Everything was still moving, still thriving, still breathing yet he was only aware of one single person.
His ex-girlfriend stared right at him from below.
Even from this distance he could feel the blades in her gaze.
Black patent leather jacket. Very short, cut just under the breasts. Black lace corset, see-through except for the cups. Skintight lilac miniskirt. Legs for days. Pointed-toe black pumps with a thin ankle strap, the kind he had trouble with due to the small delicate buckle.
He tried to breathe but the air was like concrete in his lungs.
She tilted her head, narrowing her smoked-out eyes. Her lips were glossy crimson, cool-toned to match the palette of her outfit. Her hair had been pinned up, exposing her graceful neck and glimmering collarbones.
She began to walk through the crowd.
Jungkook spun around and suddenly all the sound roared back, intense and thunderingly hostile. He winced, clutching his drink and holding the side of his head, trying to make sense of it all.
“Tch, why is she here?”
“Right? She doesn’t belong here.”
“She can be wherever she wants to be,” replied a calm, deep voice.
He could hear voices around him talking but it wasn’t making any sense. How? Why? Was he seeing things? And why did it matter? It didn’t. It didn’t. He took another sip of his glass and found it bitter and tasteless. Maybe that was in his head too. It didn’t matter if she was here. Someone was tugging on his arm. He pulled himself free, snapping his hand down onto the table.
The world crashed back into place as his drink sloshed and spat out from his force.
A startled feminine gasp.
The calm, deep voice returned. “You okay, man?”
Jungkook jerked his head up and saw Kim Taehyung carefully surveying him. He was a man with strong, masculine features and a comforting baritone voice that reminded one of cozy winters and romantic nights. Out of all his friends, they were the closest in age. However, Taehyung was more than a year older and a much more seasoned veteran of the modeling industry. He had been scouted at a very young age, quickly learning the ins-and-outs without losing who he was. He was grounded, easygoing, and never had a crack in his composure. At least, that was how Jungkook thought of him.
Taehyung raised a dark eyebrow, repeating his question without saying a word.
“I’m fine,” Jungkook scowled, then controlled his face a bit better. “What?”
Those dark, moody eyes served him a dose of silent judgement as one of the girls at the table spoke up again.
“Oooh, she’s sitting down at a table.”
He told himself not to look. It didn’t matter if she was here. And yet his head moved on its own, pivoting to the left so fast he almost had whiplash. At high-end clubs like this, there were tables available depending on to how much a patron spent. The larger tables had to be paid for in advance to be secured a space. Such reservations were violently expensive, signaling VIP status. A lot of the smaller tables on the lower level were occupied. The more exclusive tables were higher up, needing stairs to access the higher tiers. A waiter was holding her hand, carefully guiding his ex-girlfriend up the stairs to an empty round table that typically seated ten.
There was no one else at the table.
She sat down at the seat closest to overlooking the club.
“She can afford that?”
A crackling laugh. “Doubt it.”
“Who are you to say what she can’t afford?” Taehyung cut in sharply in a disapproving tone.
“O-Oh, well… It’s just not that common, you know.”
The chittering was from the women they had invited to the table earlier. Shit, their presence seemed so frivolous and annoying now. Jungkook had half a mind to turn around and glare at them. Instead, he was transfixed by the woman in patent leather and tight lilac. She crossed her legs, smoothed her skirt, and leaned back in her chair, scanning the crowd. A waiter came back and brought a bucket of ice with a champagne bottle and accompanying flutes. A waitress came by with another bottle. Porcelain, with painted flue floral design, and placed two crystal glasses onto the table. His former lover smiled at them, nodding. They bowed and took their leave after serving her.
Instead of touching the drinks, the woman turned her body and locked her icy stare right on him.
Jungkook stiffened and turned away quickly, feeling his body running hot. The table was still talking, but it was behind hands and feigned disinterest. Taehyung sighed, shaking his head. Of course, there had been other friends at the table too. Only now did Jungkook notice that they were missing. Must have wandered off. At the very least, their host Kim Seokjin would definitely be gone for a while. He was an affluent actor, model, and owner of several establishments, including this luxury nightclub. Eventually the tall, broad-shouldered man would return to see them off, but there was no telling when.
“Did you know she was gonna be here?” Jungkook hissed through gritted teeth, ignoring the odd looks he was getting from the women. They still lingered for the free drinks which Taehyung kept supplied. No sense in wasting Seokjin’s endless tab after all.
Taehyung frowned. “I don’t police people’s actions. Does it matter what she does?”
Jungkook scoffed. ��Oh, so this wasn’t your idea?”
Those normally warm brown eyes turned cold. “It wasn’t. Besides, she’s no longer your girlfriend.”
“Yeah, she’s definitely not.”
A growl collected in Jungkook’s throat and he was about to let it loose. He swiveled his head again only for the sound to die before it began. A man was standing by her table. He was sharply dressed in a suit and tie, with tied-back bleached-blond hair that laid over his shoulders. He had a pleasant decorum and a smile like a predatory feline. She gestured him to sit down and poured him a drink as invitation. He watched in horror as his ex-girlfriend chatted up a beautiful stranger.
He didn’t know whether he wanted to cry or run over there to flip the table.
A low voice cut through his thoughts.
“Wasn’t the breakup amicable?”
He froze.
Slowly, Jungkook faced Taehyung, his long-time friend. He never really could bring himself to fully lie to those piercing dark orbs, now reflecting the same reserved gaze that Taehyung had given him when Jungkook provided the same flimsy excuse he was once again repeating.
“I… It wasn’t meant to be,” Jungkook mumbled once more. “The traveling… it was too much for us.”
The older male was too good at reading between the lines, especially when it came to romance, his forte. “Hm.” He knew when he wasn’t getting the full story. “It’s probably too late to ask now, but was it what you wanted?”
Jungkook couldn’t help it.
“It was…”
He looked over his shoulder again.
“… What I deserved.”
She was thanking the blond-haired man. He bowed ninety degrees and leaned in, whispering something in her ear before leaving the table. His glass was empty. Someone else was approaching the table. A pretty woman with long black hair in a white minidress and short, pearl-white nails sat down, bowing lightly and introducing herself. His ex-girlfriend offered between the two drinks and the pretty woman chose the champagne. A waiter came over to uncork it for them, pouring a healthy amount into the two flutes.
They two chatted, immediately absorbed with each other.
“For a guy naturally talented at a lot of things, you’re such a stupid idiot.”
He was.
Wait.
Jungkook scowled, turning back to a disapproving Taehyung cradling a small ceramic cup. It was hand-painted with the smallest of brushstrokes, depicting a flock of black birds disappearing into the white sky. He took a sip with a gruff sigh, making a tense face. He was a wine guy, but he couldn’t turn down traditional Korean alcohol. That would be uncouth.
“How long are you going to continue moping?” Taehyung scoffed.
“I’m not moping,” Jungkook countered, hunched over the table and gripping his whiskey glass a little too hard.
“You are convincing no one. Least of all me.”
His eyes flickered upward, glaring. Taehyung remained refined, unperturbed, nearly prince-like in his half-open floral-and-forest-green silk shirt and ruffled hair. A black-brown curl perfectly grazed one of his eyebrows, accenting his condescending look with a dash of softness.
“Did you ever realize how much she did for you?”
Jungkook pushed away his glass. He couldn’t reply. He stuck his tongue in his cheek, trying not to feel. It was only then that he noticed that the table was strangely silent despite the fervor of the environment – the women had made themselves scarce, understanding that this conversation was much too serious for their girlypop night.
Finally, he forced himself to speak. “For me? I take care of myself.”
Taehyung winced. Hard. “You cannot be serious right now.”
Another peek behind him. A different man at her table now. Silvery-blonde hair, tan skin, muscular like a godly titan. She caught him looking and stared directly back. Jungkook cursed under his breath. “What did she do then? Hm? Enlighten me.” His voice was becoming rougher, slipping out of his practiced Seoul dialect and into his Busan dialect. The broad-shouldered man at the table had no suit jacket. The sleeves of his white dress shirt were rolled up. He must have noticed her lack of attention, because he began to turn around as well.
Jungkook jerked away before they could lock eyes too.
“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two,” Taehyung exhaled, not quite annoyed but getting there. “But I know you were the one that was wrong.”
Yeah, right.
“Never once did she complain about you. Never once did she butt into your business and cause you trouble when she could have. Never once did she talk behind your back when we both know damn well that you’re no saint, Jeon Jungkook.”
His tattooed hand against the table balled up into a fist, the familiar ache in his chest splitting, threatening.
Unintimidated, Taehyung continued. “The travelling was rough? Of course, it is. And there are probably a thousand ways to make it up to someone you love, but instead now I’m looking at you sitting here and her sitting there, pretending to be strangers. Tells me a whole lot about how that worked out.” His natural Daegu satoori was becoming more evident during his tirade. Taehyung wasn’t trying to be polite, though.
“You don’t know anything,” Jungkook retorted.
“I don’t.” Those dark brown eyes burned hot, scrutinizing him and tearing him apart. “And I don’t need to. Your hostility is telling me everything.”
“It was you,” Jungkook snapped, slamming his fist onto the table. “You invited her here.”
Taehyung’s low voice became lower, more accusatory. “Go ahead. Keep deflecting. Run back home and hide. That’s what you want to do, right?” His gaze narrowed and Taehyung’s normally friendly warmth morphed into scalding heat. “You heard what they said. She doesn’t belong here. And yet, here she is. They all talked and gossiped and badmouthed her, right to your face even, and yet you said nothing. You still don’t have the fucking balls, man. You didn’t respect her for all she was. In spite of that, she stood beside you, head held high, until you tossed her away. You brought her into this world, you ripped her out of it, and guess what? She is here. She holds her own. You deluded yourself into thinking she needed you. But she doesn’t, and it’s the other way around.”
Jungkook shot up out of his seat, nearly knocking the chair over. He was breathing hard, his furious anger so violent that it clawed at his insides, and Taehyung tilted his head, mirroring the expression of an adult tiger observing a foolish cub.
“You’re wrong,” Jungkook gritted out between clenched teeth. “You’re fucking wrong.”
He… No. She did this. This was her fault. She was the one that always pushed him to go for what he wanted. She was the one who always helped him make it work. Last minute changes happened often early in his career and she always smiled at him and told him to go, to run, to chase those adventures. And she always waited for him to come home.
“I wasn’t like that.”
In the middle of dinners for two. In vacations cut short. In forgotten special dates. Go. She always waited for him to come home. He couldn’t be blamed for that. Those were all her own decisions. He just had to do what he had to do, didn’t he? He couldn’t be blamed for doing what he thought was best. He couldn’t be blamed for trying his best. This dull ache created from a thousand cuts was not made from his own hand.
Right?
“You’re hopeless.” Taehyung slumped back in his chair and sighed. “Do as you wish.”
He wasn’t the person Taehyung was saying he was.
If he was, then…
No.
Jungkook whipped around and locked his eyes to the table, walking determinedly up to it.
There was a different man sitting there now. A very tall one with very short hair, violate energy, and a striking profile, deeply engaged in conversation with his ex-girlfriend. Currently laughing bashfully at something she must have said. The stranger was wearing a crisp black dress shirt with the first few buttons undone and well-tailored black slacks. Jungkook wanted to punch him in his very handsome face. He didn’t care that the man’s shoulders and arms were so built that they were nearly bursting the seams of his dress shirt, nor did he care that starting a fight right now would do absolutely nothing except get him thrown out in handcuffs.
Jungkook wanted to kill him.
Her eyes took a moment to shift from the very handsome stranger to him.
It hurt.
It really fucking hurt.
He glared back. Her gaze was not as heated, nor did it hold the same ice she had during their last conversation way back then. There was a completely different mix of emotions conveyed now. Almost disconnected, lonely, and loathing all at once, the last not directed at him but at herself.
As if she didn’t want to care but did and hated herself for it.
It wasn’t who she was at all, and Jungkook hated himself for doing this to her.
“Dude, I’m going to need you to get lost.”
Startled, the seated man turned his head to see Jungkook giving him a death stare. He hated seeing the puppy-like expression on such a masculine-looking man, not because he looked down on that but because it was a genuine, adorable reaction that couldn’t be faked.
She probably liked that.
She probably deserved that.
Jungkook was determined to ruin this too. Why the fuck not?
The man looked confused, and then irritated. “Uh… Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t think you belong here.” He had a commanding, stern tone. He shifted in his seat, halfway to rising. “This conversation doesn’t include you.”
“No, this conversation doesn’t include you,” Jungkook snapped, glancing at her. His ex-girlfriend did nothing but raise an eyebrow at him, her arms crossed under her breasts. “Fuck off.”
The man in the black dress shirt began to stand, brows furrowing. “Hey, I’m going to have to ask you to leave–”
“Excuse me.”
She stood up.
From this distance, Jungkook could fully take in how the smoke-grey eyeshadow accentuated the shape of her eyes, making them more prominent and intense. The lights caught the glow of her skin and the vividness of the scarlet of her lips, giving her an ethereal, untouchable demeanor. Loose layers of her hair framed her face despite the majority of it being pinned up, casting cold, dark shadows around the hot radiance of her gaze.
“I’m sorry to cut our conversation short, but I think it’s best if you give us a moment,” she said politely to the tall stranger while bowing. “I was enchanted to meet you tonight, Kim Mingyu.”
A pink flush dusted over the man’s cheeks. This motherfucker had the audacity to be flustered. Jungkook still wanted to punch him in the face. Maybe more now than before.
“O… Oh… Um. Alright.” He glanced between Jungkook and her. “Will you be okay?”
She smiled, maintaining confident eye contact with the stranger. “Let’s not assume the worst of people. And… Your words have given me courage. I thank you.”
It took everything in Jungkook not to trip the guy on his very expensive designer shoes as he hastily bowed and took his leave, offering an awkward half-wave before backing away. She raised a hand back, not looking away even when he turned around.
And then.
Quiet.
At least as quiet as a loud nightclub could be. But it all became background noise in the face of loaded silence. The safety off now. The bass faded into heartbeats as she raised her eyes and, once again, they faced each other across the table. Jungkook stood with his hands balled up into fists in the pockets of his leather jacket. His former lover stood with her hands in front of her. She was still the most beautiful, graceful, and collected woman that he had ever had the pleasure to know.
“I’m…”
And he missed her so, so much.
“I’m sorry.”
So fucking much.
Her eyes flickered down in a pause, and then back up. “It really doesn’t matter anymore. The past is in the past.”
Her name on his lips felt foreign and familiar all at once. She didn’t react. It was as if he had said nothing at all. He said it again, almost with an edge of panic, and she closed her eyes, breathing in slowly. He wanted to run to the other side. He wanted to climb on top of the table and grab her hands and tell her it was going to be okay, that he was going to be better, that she was the love of his life and that he could be hers too, please, if only he had a chance. Instead, he stayed where he was, frozen in place, trying not to do the wrong thing even though everything about this scene and script was all wrong.
Her eyes opened in a resigned, resolute flutter.
“Do you think saying sorry takes back everything you’ve done?” she asked in a measured tone.
He pulled his hands out of his jacket, shaking his head. “No. No, of course not. I… You didn’t give me a chance to apologize, and I–”
“Apologize for what?” she coldly interrupted.
“W-Well… For… everything, really.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t know.”
Jungkook blinked hard, trying to banish his tears. “Know?” he echoed.
“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” Her words were sharpened steel, cutting right through him.
“I do,” he insisted. “For all the times I left during dinner, for all the times I’ve left during our scheduled time together, for forgetting your birthday, anniversary–”
“For the blatant disrespect,” she interrupted, her hands separating, those intense eyes narrowing. “For always believing I could fend for myself when you got swept up during work events. For contacting me not to talk about my day, but to interrogate me on what I was doing. For not believing me and asking me to send photos every time I was out somewhere.”
He sputtered, taken aback. “That wasn’t… Those things–”
“For always knowing I understood your position and taking it for granted.” Her glare was like daggers, cutting through all the lies he told himself. “And yet never understanding mine. Never believing in the love I had for you.”
“I did believe!”
“And so you accused me of lying?” she shot back, scathing him. “I have never done anything to make you believe I was disloyal to you, but I was five minutes late to a date and suddenly I need to be lying? Suddenly that was a sign of my nefarious plans? Suddenly I’m the bad guy that needs to be backed into a corner? Suddenly I must beg on my knees to soothe your feelings?”
“I didn’t ask for that,” he retorted. “I just asked why you didn’t text that you were late.”
“I don’t need to repeat what I said then,” she growled, bristling. She had been five minutes late because of an elderly taxi driver taking his time. “Because it didn’t matter what the reason was for you. I know that now. You were scared. You were insecure. You were nervous that I was beginning to fall out of love with you. You latched onto the first thing I did wrong and blew it out of proportion to force me to grovel to you. You could have asked me directly how I felt. Instead, you decided to play fucking games.”
Jungkook couldn’t move, couldn’t speak.
Her hands balled up into fists by her sides. “I was patient. I was understanding. I loved you.” She dug her nails into her palms, clenching her jaw. “But I was not going to let myself be manipulated by your insecurities. I was not about to lose myself to become an extension of you, Jeon Jungkook.”
Past tense.
“You… loved me?”
She might as well have stabbed him right through the heart.
A thundering pause.
Finally, she sighed. Her hands relaxed.
“When I came in here, I didn’t know if I wanted to run to you or slap you.”
She looked around, down at the crowd, up to the lights, to the bar, the tables, the people.
“Before you, all I had was a decent job. Not exciting, but good enough to enjoy the life I wanted. I had loose acquaintances and once-in-a-blue-moon friends. I had mediocre hobbies that I was okay at. Before you, that had been enough. This,” she breathed, indicating the people and the money being flaunted around like water during a rainstorm. “I didn’t know this. I didn’t know how lonely it was to be standing this high. I didn’t know… My acquaintances and few friends saw the life you gave me and faded away, no longer relating to the extravagance I was exposed to. My job became a forbidden topic for the mere crime that it was boring. My hobbies became childish to these refined eyes. Yet… I could live with all that. The life I wanted was the one I had with you. And… it turned out to be miserable.”
For the first time, Jungkook realized how much she lost loving him.
“I was miserable.”
She half-laughed, empty.
“But I loved you.”
Lowered her head.
“And I was so, so damn angry with you.”
She smacked the table with her palm, hard enough to make the people around them flash them a startled look. Her fingers tensed, cherry-red manicure flaring over the wood.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” This was the part Jungkook didn’t understand. His voice rose in both frustration and desperation. “Why didn’t you just blow up on me? Why didn’t you say something?”
“Say what?” she snarled, snapping her head up, each word a bullet tearing through him. “Huh? No, don’t go? How dare you leave me, again? Create the war wounds right before we part? What good does all that do? Make us both upset right before you run off? Because you would anyway. You know you would, because you are stubborn and selfish and always doing what you need to do, putting me at the bottom of the list since I am capable… right? I can handle myself, right?”
He was rounding the table, knocking chairs aside. “You could have been angry at me. You just didn’t want to be!”
“Who wants to be angry? Don’t be ridiculous!”
“What, you were worried that you would no longer be the perfect girlfriend if you weren’t understanding?” he accused.
She looked livid. “Don’t you dare flip my consideration onto me.”
He stopped right in front of her, tension all over his neck and jaw. “It’s your fault too. I can’t change if you act like everything is fine!”
Her eyes widened. “Are you serious? I have to be the one to teach you not to be a fucking selfish prick and think about someone else for a change?” she hissed.
“How am I supposed to know?”
“Of course, you know!”
They were beginning to draw whispers and stunned faces but neither of them was backing down or ashamed enough. Or, perhaps, they were simply completely unaware of the disruption they were causing.
“You knew – no, you still know,” she snarled, jabbing him in the chest with a impeccably manicured finger. “You have never felt like you fit in with these people. That was why you tried so hard. That was why you took every opportunity to be a lapdog. That was why you dated me, because I am not privileged and enabled, that’s why you dragged me into your world and got paranoid when I wasn’t showing the same apprehensions as you, putting me in impossible positions and playing games, when we could have been teamed up against the world, when we could have been yin and yang, but all we were was a pair of damn cowards!”
His eyes went wide.
Fury laced in her helpless expression.
“You could have protected me. All you did was make me throw myself to the wolves to protect you!”
Her hands slammed into his chest and she shoved him, hard. He stumbled back, throwing his right arm out, knocking over a champagne flute and shattering it. Glass exploded onto the floor, delicate shards shooting out and catching the light, scattering into dust beneath designer feet.
People gasped and someone screamed at the unexpected noise.
His left hand reached out and gripped the patent leather sleeve of her jacket. Their gazes locked in shock and comprehension. His lips parted. One of his knees was still bent to steady himself from falling. But before Jungkook could say anything, she squeezed her eyes shut, breaking their connection, and ripped her arm from his grasp.
Then she seized the porcelain bottle with painted blue flowers and threw it onto the floor, shattering that too.
One moment of awful, dazed silence.
The next moment, men in security uniforms swiftly and silently crossed the distance and surrounded them. He was being grabbed and pinned down to the table, metal handcuffs clicked onto his wrists behind his back despite his protests. His jaw dropped when one of the men touched her shoulder and she immediately turned around and slapped him. Instantly, she too was firmly pushed down and also restrained, both of them staring at each other over the surface of the wood, their previously well-styled hair in disarray all over their faces, their eyes wide with the realization of the severity of their public argument.
He couldn’t help but think she looked fucking hot.
Something flickered in her eyes. She recognized his exact thought from their shared look. And his ex-girlfriend burst out laughing at this absurd situation, even as security hoisted them up and dragged them down the stairs. So, fuck it. He couldn’t help it either.
Jungkook started laughing too.
-
“This is your fault, by the way.”
“Feel free to add it to the list of shit I’ve done wrong.”
They were still handcuffed. Both standing a respectful distance away  from each other in the middle of a storeroom crammed with boxes stacked like a cardboard maze. There were no windows. The door was closed and presumably locked. Neither of them had moved towards it. There would be no criminal undercover going on here. They were already in deep enough shit. Adding attempted escape would probably change their current storeroom location into separate jail cells for the night.
They did not look at each other.
Jungkook leaned against the boxes, his hands stuck behind his back. One of the sides of his leather jacket had slipped down, exposing his right shoulder. It was nice, actually, since the previous scuffle had left him rather hot-blooded. He snuck a glance beside him.
His ex-girlfriend’s body was facing the door. The backs of her hands rested on the prominent curve of her ass in that tight lilac skirt, her straight posture making her waist look even smaller. Must be nice to have a built-in shelf. His eye line travelled up to her hair, seeing it half-undone and falling down her neck. Half of the pins were still holding up by sheer luck. The patent leather of her jacket crackled as she adjusted, stretching out her ankle. She was still in her high heels.
“Uncomfortable?” he found himself quietly asking.
“Could be worse,” she answered back, still not turning around.
He waited for her to elaborate.
She didn’t.
The silence was palpable. Somehow not unbearable. He looked back down at his feet, wondering why they had been left here. He half-expected security to escort them off the premises and into a police car, but they had marched them behind the kitchen and told them to stay put and not cause trouble, similarly to how misbehaving kids were put in time-out. Then again, the owner of the club was his affluent friend Kim Seokjin. Perhaps this was a rich people thing. Or an under-the-table thing.
Her voice echoed in his head.
You have never felt like you fit in with these people.
“Hey, uh…” he started, trailing off.
A light sigh.
Then, she shook her head, somewhat vigorously. Some of the hairpins loosened up. “Ugh, my hair is more annoying than anything,” she muttered under her breath. “It’s all messed up.”
Hell yeah, it was, and it was a turn-on, reminding him of after-sex tousling. Jungkook kept his mouth shut. Not the right time for that. He chewed on his lower lip, wondering if he could do anything. Wondering if he should do anything. She still hadn’t turned around.
So, he did.
He turned around, bent down slightly, and tried to reach up. The angle was difficult. Not high enough either. His leather sleeves were also constricting his movement and making loud creaking sounds. He looked back, trying to reach up with a grunt, and she stiffened, swinging her head around. He froze in an awkward position. She stared at him.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
He blinked back. “Um… I… I was trying to help…?”
Her eyebrow raised. “By… doing yoga?”
He let out an impatient huff. “No, I’m trying to help you take the pins out of your hair,” Jungkook clarified, straightening with a frustrated shake of his body. “It’s bothering you, isn’t it? But I’m not flexible enough and you’re too tall in your heels.”
She paused. He looked away, feeling somewhat embarrassed for even trying. Who was he to think that he could do something like that? Hah. His hands tightened behind him. They weren’t close like that anymore. They weren’t even friends.
He felt a sting in his heart remembering that.
“Sorry… I should have asked if you wanted the help at all.”
He exhaled heavily.
Stillness.
Then he heard the crack of patent leather and raised his head to see her squat down, lowering one knee to the concrete floor, her back perfectly straight and her head at his waist height. She was facing the door again so he couldn’t see her expression.
“If… Well, it would be helpful if you could… If you could remove the hairpins,” she mumbled, keeping her head up. “Please.”
He gawked at her kneeled form, unmoving.
His heartbeat accelerated.
“Um… if you’re going to do it, faster would be better,” she added hesitantly with placed-in chuckle. “I don’t know how long I can keep my balance in these shoes.”
His cheeks burned. “Uh, yeah, s-sorry. I’m on it.”
The metal handcuffs clinked as he moved. He turned around and backed up a bit, reaching out to feel for her hair. Sucked in a quiet breath as his fingers grazed the soft strands, memories of stolen nights drifting back to him. He swallowed hard and bit his lip, using touch to search for the hairpins, and then loosening them as gently as he could. One by one. He tried to tuck them in his palm as he continued. Sometimes he would need to rest one hand on her head and use the other to pull them out slowly and carefully. She said nothing, tilting her head slightly as he made his way around. He felt his way along her scalp, running his fingers through her hair, remembering the familiar scent he could detect when he used to breathe it in, remembering his hands holding her head as he used to lean in and kiss her, remembering that he had lost all of that now.
Jungkook lowered his chin, letting out a soundless cry.
“You liked my hair down, I recall,” she commented behind him, her soothing voice mirroring the rolling tide late at night.
“Y… Yeah.”
He smiled despite himself. He pulled back his handcuffed hands.
“You have lovely hair. I don’t like seeing it all tucked away.”
For a moment, there was a quietness as those words sank in. She shifted, and he heard her stand up, the sharp click of her heels indicating as much, but he kept his back to her, unsure if this was the last time he would touch her hair. The last time he hadn’t known it would be the last, so he didn’t mourn the moment until way later, but this time…
“Thank you.”
He breathed in through his nose. Oddly stuffy in here.
“Y… You’re welcome.”
He wished he could take it all back, but he couldn’t. He wished he could prove he was a better man, but he didn’t know how or even if he could. She was right. He had gotten swept up in his ambitions and the superficial relationships. He had been afraid. He had let that fear control him because he had felt out of sorts with who he was, who he was becoming, and who he wanted to be.
“I really… I really am sorry.”
They were back-to-back. Not touching. Just close enough to feel each other’s presence without seeing them. Hands behind their backs, staring in opposite directions but finally seeing the path before them.
“I know.”
She let out a soft breath.
“I wished for the way I felt to change once I could accept your apologies, but,” she whispered. “Life isn’t that simple or clear cut.”
His chest ached. “Yeah.” It didn’t matter if his actions had unintentional consequences. The consequences still existed. “You’re right. About it all. About the person I became and how I treated you because of it. About how this was because of me feeling like I don’t fit in.”
She didn’t say anything, yet Jungkook could sense her acknowledgment. He couldn’t really explain why he knew. Maybe it had something to do with their current circumstances.
“I keep trying and I… I don’t know. Maybe I’m too simple-minded. Maybe I can’t understand the world these people live in. I mean, my friends seem like normal people but there are still moments where I catch myself thinking, I wouldn’t have thought to do or say that. I feel so… disconnected, sometimes. Meaningless. Maybe I’m not worth a damn to them.”
He was rambling, slipping between his refined dialect and his Busan satoori. He caught himself, about to correct his wording.
“You don’t have to be like the people around you to fit in,” she chided.
He stopped trying to form a sentence and listened.
“You don’t listen. That has always been your strength. Your charm is your natural character with the added spice of rebellion.” Her chuckle lightened, making his heart tighten and feel like exploding at the same time. “Your talent has always been bravely walking your own path, confusing as it may be. There is a pureness in that. You have friends because they want to protect that part of you. Haven’t you noticed? Your friends have never asked you to change or be like them. They just accept you for how you are and push away people who try to mold you into their vision.”
His friends? Well, true, they were the main reasons for him getting the jobs he got. He had always felt somewhat inadequate, realizing his success was from seniors in the industry helping him out. They all told him that this was how it worked. They all told him to do well so he could get more opportunities. It was part of the reason that he felt that he couldn’t let those connections down. He had always felt that he couldn’t refuse.
“Your friends have always been on your side. They don’t want you to be like them. They want you to stay as you are. You mean that much to those around you.”
But perhaps he had been wrong all along.
“Only you thought you needed to change.”
There was probably a lot of sound outside, but the distracting racket was inaudible from the distant storeroom. Her quiet voice amplified her words in this slice of stillness. There something stricken and bitter haunting the air between them as the revelation settled.
He clutched her hairpins in his fist.
“I didn’t… I didn’t date you just because you weren’t part of this vapid world I’m in.”
He wanted her to know.
“I wish…”
The tears stung the corners of his eyes. He refused to let them go. Jungkook looked up to the ceiling, taking in each breath as steadily as he could. He felt like he was drowning, except instead of water, it was all the things he never said.
“I wish I could have been strong enough for you to be angry at me sooner. Tonight, I realized… It was my own shortcomings that made you stay quiet.” He chuckled dryly in admiration. “You endured more than I ever could. More than anyone should.” He didn’t know if he was making any sense but he kept on going. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so mad. That was the most emotion I’ve ever seen from you. You must have spent a lot of nights… feeling so alone because of my selfishness.”
This was not a romantic setting at all. They were stuck in a storeroom with no windows, surrounded by boxes, handcuffed for being a public disruption, for being too dramatic and too emotional. Neither of them could look at the other. A disaster in every sense of the world.
But.
Maybe this was the most honest moment they had ever shared.
Her laugh simmered behind him.
“I’m sorry for losing my shit.”
He half-smiled in rueful relief.
“It wasn’t so bad. Low-key kinda hot. I almost lost the plot at times.”
She laughed under her breath. “You don’t mean that.”
A single heartbeat of silence.
“I kinda do,” he admitted, feeling the upturned corners of his lips falter.
It became quiet once more. An embarrassed quiet, but maybe only on his side. Jungkook still couldn’t bring himself to turn around and find out. He shifted awkwardly, realizing he was still holding her hairpins in his hand. Uh. Well, he couldn’t exactly ask her to put them in her pocket. Did she even have any pockets with that outfit? He furrowed his brows, thinking about that tight skirt and lace corset. Doubtful there would be any pockets in such fitted clothing. Maybe in her jacket, but it was so short that he would basically have to reach for her tits to…
His face heated slightly realizing that he was heavily focusing on her body right now.
Click.
He didn’t really register the sound behind him at first. It sounded like something falling onto the concrete. There was another sharp tapping sound, but before he could shift and twist his body to see, he felt her fingertips brush against the knuckles of his fist.
“I’m sorry too.”
He was too shocked to even move or react. Just stood there wide-eyed, struck by the lightning of her touch, realizing they were that close and that it was her who initiated that.
“I should have brought up the little things that bothered me. I shouldn’t have let it snowball simply because I thought it would make your life easier. I should have tried to remind you not to be intimidated by those around you,” she sighed heavily. “And I should have believed in your apology more than I did.”
The pads of her fingertips stilled.
One by one, they lost contact.
Jungkook dropped all the hairpins on the floor in a cascade of metal raindrops.
He reached back and grabbed her hand, gripping her fingers tightly, gasping as he felt her cool skin against his warmth. He felt her initial rise of reluctance, however, she did not pull away. Their handcuffs clinked against each other, the chains colliding. He scrambled to reach a little higher. Grasping her hand in his. Her right in his right. He tried to say something. Something romantic, something reassuring, something self-derogatory even.
But nothing come out.
He tried to breathe and was choked by inner tears. Tried again, shaking, trying to be silent. Her fingers curled around the back of his hand and laid there. She gave him a light squeeze.
“Don’t worry.”
Her calming voice a dream on this night.
“I’m here.”
They held hands.
It must have been only for a short while. It felt like forever packed in minutes. He inhaled deeply, catching fleeting traces of her sweet and sultry perfume. Closed his eyes with an exhale. Another inhale, slower this time. Maybe this was futile. Maybe this was objectively wildly inappropriate. Maybe he was the fucking worst, wishing, hoping they could reset to something new. All of this could crash and burn.
Or.
Or, maybe.
He swallowed tightly. Leaned back just a little. Their shoulder blades touched. A moment of suspended anticipation. She leaned back against him. The backs of their heads didn’t yet touch. He felt her hair on his neck. It was only the tops of their backs that touched, but now there was only centimeters of trembling air between them.
“Are you cold?” he asked, his voice rough and nervous.
“Only a little.” Her thumb brushed against the side of his palm. “I’ll be alright.”
Yeah, he knew that. “You’re the most capable person I know.”
She sighed. “It’s not all sunshine and roses.”
He scrunched up his face in search for the words. “Well… You suit moonlight and thorns more.”
She nearly snorted. He felt her shoulders shake in silent laughter. He winced, thinking he said something wrong.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“I like those better, anyway!” He blurted it out quickly. Maybe too quickly, curling a bit in on himself once he realized what he said, cringing, but she tugged on his hand ever so slightly. It was obvious she was shaking her head from her hair swishing over his neck.
“You always had a thirst for danger, Jungkook.”
Her tone was slight and playful. He felt his cheeks burn and his heart race so hard that he almost couldn’t breathe from the pressure. Nearly stuttered when he heard his name in her voice, clenching his jaw shut so he didn’t make a fool of himself. Again. His entire body tensed, on edge and vibrating from the rush of emotions.
“Are you trying to break my hand?”
He was gripping her hand way too tight. “S-Sorry!” He loosened his stiff fingers, twisting his wrist to keep his hand cupped around hers. “Sorry…”
“Heh, it’s not like you to apologize,” she teased.
Jungkook furrowed his brows. “Hey...”
Her head laid against his shoulder.
He stilled, heartbeat pounding. She looked up at the ceiling. At least, he presumed that from the angle. The back of her head touched his left shoulder, just barely. Her hair spilled against his collarbone and back, messy and free.
“I bet you have somebody. You’re too good-looking to have nobody lined up.”
Her murmur was soft and resigned. Guilty.
Her words hung in the air.
He tipped his head back, the nape of his neck against her shoulder. The patent leather of her jacket squeaked loudly under his presence. He wished. He hoped. He…
“I have someone,” he confessed.
He squeezed her hand. Their faces tilted upwards to the ceiling, and still Jungkook could recall every detail of her eyes – the way they glimmered when she smiled, the way they sparked when she was serious, the way they twinkled during all their special moments, the way they hollowed out when she turned away from him.
His fingers gently separated hers, interlocking.
The words were at the tip of his tongue.
His lips parted.
Suddenly there were loud footsteps on the other side of the heavy wood door. His ex-girlfriend jerked up in alarm. Jungkook stumbled. Both of them quickly sprang away from each other as the noisy jangle of keys was heard and then the heavy door swung open, revealing the two of them standing there, tense, now staring wide-eyed at a tall, broad-shouldered man flanked by two security guards. His black hair was perfectly parted, half brushing against his forehead and half combed back, giving a corporate feel in his tailored black suit. He was strikingly handsome by all accounts. Intense dark brown eyes, sculpted brows, full lips, stunning jawline.
Kim Seokjin wore an exasperated, annoyed expression.
He ticked his head to Jeon Jungkook’s ex-girlfriend.
“You. Come with me.”
She hesitated for a second and stepped forward, hanging her head a bit. “I sincerely apologize for the trouble I’ve caused.”
It would be expected for such a stern, posh-looking man to be harsh. Instead, Seokjin stuck his fists by his waist and sighed loudly, similarly to a disappointed grandmother scolding her favorite child.
“Haaah… come on. You’re not going to jail. I want to talk to you alone. Hey, uncuff her,” the owner of the nightclub tutted. One of the security guards went around her to unlock the handcuffs. “It took me a while to handle everything out there. At least the incident won’t be on the news or anything.” He reached out and held her elbow as she was released, steadying her balance and leading her out of the room. The guards followed, not taking a second glance back.
Jungkook frowned. “Hey, hyung–”
Seokjin whipped up and pointed a finger at him. “No. You stay here.”
Jungkook balked, offended. “What?! What about me?”
The older man glared at him like he was the naughty child. “I’ll have a conversation with you after. Stay.”
Anger boiled high. “I’m not a dog!”
Offensively, Seokjin barked back with, “You’re right. Dogs are loyal. And want to listen to people. You have the listening skills of a straw. In one end and out the other.”
The door slammed shut with finality.
Jungkook stood there, speechless, gawking at the sheer audacity.
Then he kicked the floor with a roar of impatience once Kim Seokjin’s insult finally registered. What the hell! Kim Seokjin was the one to invite him here in the first place! Seokjin was the oldest of Jungkook’s friends that took him under his wing, teaching him about various business aspects behind the scenes and making sure Jungkook knew the importance of having a good lawyer to look over his contracts. Now Seokjin had him locked up as if he was a five-year-old receiving a time out! Who did he think he was, his disciplinarian?
“What the fuck?!”
Then Jungkook ceased all movement, no longer stomping around in circles.
It was him.
Kim Seokjin had invited him here tonight.
It was him. Kim Seokjin had told him he better get his ass over here on this night in particular if he knew what was good for him. Not unusual, as his friends usually had to threaten him to go outside these days. It was you. You invited her here. It wasn’t Taehyung who invited her. He had been telling the truth all along.
“That bastard.”
Snarling, Jungkook whipped his head to the door and glared at it, fully intending to charge like a goddamn bull right into Kim Seokjin once it opened again.
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice you'll find that you were never not mine you're mine
-
i hear... | ... the whispers... | ... in your eyes.
--
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The Demon of the Lonely Isle by Edogawa Ranpo
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Whatever challenge or hardship we face, it is never as dreadful as that which we are able to imagine.
- Edogawa Ranpo, The Demon of the Lonely Isle
Our youthful spirits were still capable of enjoying such adventures and thrilled at keeping secrets. Added to this, the type of relationship that existed between Michio and myself meant we were more than just 'friends'. Michio's affection for me was atypical - although I didn't really comprehend how he felt, I understood it on an intellectual level - and like any normal romantic sentiment it wasn't necessarily unwelcome, so when we were face to face, there was a kind of sweet sexual tension in the air. This tension perhaps made our 'game' all the more pleasurable.
- Edogawa Ranpo, The Demon of the Lonely Isle
Nobody can see the plight we're in, we can't see each other's faces. After we die, our bodies will lie here undiscovered for eternity. But just as this place has no light, it has no laws, no morality, no customs. It is another world, where humanity is extinguished. In the short time we have left, I want to disregard all such formalities. We need not feel embarrassment or jealousy, or hide behind good manners or put on a show anymore. We're like two newborn beings, the only living creatures in this primordial darkness. - Edogawa Ranpo, The Demon of the Lonely Isle
A little bit of darkness and people fall to pieces. Get a hold of yourself. Where there's life there's hope.
- Edogawa Ranpo, The Demon of the Lonely Isle
Fun Fact:
Ranpo's friend and fellow detective writer Yokomizo Seishi (1902-81) wrote, 'the love for the same sex, which had been a long-standing desire of the author [sakka no hisashiki ganbō de atta dōseiai], had finally been incorporated into this novel.' An insert to another multivolume collection of Ranpo's works published in 1938 and 1939 emphasizes in boldface type that Kotō no oni is 'a work in which the author dealt with the topic of same-sex love.'
- Jeffrey Angles, Writing the Love of Boys pages 14-15
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yanderepuck · 2 days
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It's 1 am when I am starting this. So yeah. I have these ideas at 1 am. And I've already written two fics and started another Theo fic but this came to me out of nowhere so here we are.
Theo is just so *dreamy sigh* perfect for my petplay thoughts. I was considering writing an ikevil guy for this, but it's just so Theo that I gotta. So in short, yes, this is petplay. Surprise surprise
He sits back in his chair watching you. His feet are propped up on the bed, his hand holding up his head, smirking at you.
Theo got back from work not long ago, so he's still partially in his suit. God he looks so hot in his suit. How is he always so hot?
His hair is a bit of a mess from wearing his hat all day. When he took it off he ran his hand through his hairy tussling it around. He makes you weak. Right on your knees. This definitely doesn't help when you don't want him calling you hondje. The nickname is too fitting.
Now you? You're sitting up on the bed, stripped down, a pillow between your legs, humping it. You don't dare to take your eyes off of Theo.
You whine. Humping can only give you so much satisfaction until you need more. You're at the point of needing more.
"You just love to hump things while you're in heat, don't you hondje?"
You've been horny all day, and you never know if Theo is working late or not, but this time you made this mistake of giving in. Theo walked in on you knuckle deep playing with yourself.
"Th-Theo-"
"Answer me, hondje."
You whine and your hips move faster. "I-I love humping things."
You don't stop, hoping you'll get more pleasure if you keep going. Theo gets up, kneeling on the bed. He grabs your jaw tightly, making you look up at him. You don't stop. If anything you grind against the pillow harder.
"You're just a pathetic mutt in heat."
You whine more and grumble. But your voice is too low for him to make out.
"Speak up if you want me to hear you."
"H-hump me," you would do anything to have him inside you.
Theo chuckles. "I thought you liked doing that?"
You pant softly. You've been at this for too long.
"How many times have you cummed just from humping my pillow, hm? You're a little whore."
You hump the pillow harder. "H-hump me like a-a pillow," there's a possibility you're going to be embarrassed about anything this later, but in the moment you will say anything if it meant getting fucked.
"I don't think you want me to treat you like a pillow," he takes his tie fully off then unbuttons his vest.
"Please! M-mount me," with his hand off of you, you grip the pillow harder, shifting it in a better position.
Theo gets his clothes to the floor and gets on the bed. He hasn't told you to stop, so you keep grinding, whining for anything.
Without a word he gets behind you and pushes against your back, making you fall forward. He rips the pillow out from under you, tossing it to the floor.
He lays on top of you gripping your ass before slapping it. You let out a yelp and try raising your ass to press against him. His other hand grabs a fist full of your hair, yanking your head back, moaning you moan.
"You're such a noisy bitch," he slaps your ass again. He rocks his hips against you, his cock rubbing between your ass. "Is this what you wanted so badly?"
You whine. His cock is so close but not quite there. "In-in me."
"I need more words with that. Don't tell me you're a mutt who can't speak," his hips grind into you harder, and painfully slow.
If it wasn't for him holding your hair your face would be buried in the sheets.
He lets your hair go and sits up. You feel him move behind you but he's not touching you in any way.
"You're only obedient with your collar on," he lays on you again to put a leather collar around your neck. "You're going to have to wear this during the day if you don't act better. Or maybe I'll just lock you in a crate."
You accidentally moan at the thought. He wasn't supposed to know you wanted that. He grabs the collar from the back of your neck and tugs harshly on it.
"Now tell me what my fuck pillow wants," he gets close to your ear, your hair is brushing against his face.
Your ass presses into him again. "B-breed me like a bitch in heat."
"Good girl. That wasn't so hard, was it?" He moves one of your legs to the side, having it bend at the knee and keeping you flat on the bed.
You can't help but have your ass lifted slightly. He notices and spanks you again. Your skin is already turning red. "You have your pillow and I have mine."
He aligns his tip with your dripping hole and slides in effortlessly. He moans just as loud as you. You're so slick he was able to enter so quickly.
Now that he's in you he lays across your back, he grips your shoulders and immediately starts thrusting.
Giving you no time to adjust or anything, he pounds into you, quickly getting fast.
"Ahh Theo!" your fingers tangle themselves into the sheets.
He thrusts the entirety of his length into you. You bury your face into the bed to muffle your screams. In moments you cum. You've been on edge for so long.
With the added cum he glides through you even easier. He lets one shoulder go to grab your ass. He squeezes hard enough to bruise. Playing with your flesh like it really is a pillow.
"I really hope you weren't so desperate into thinking about fucking anyone else," he growls.
How long would you have lasted if he didn't come home when he did. Would you be desperate enough? You're just a dumb horny mutt after all.
"N-no! Just you meester!"
"Good girl."
His other hand let's go of your shoulder to grab the front of the collar, using it to hold onto you. It chokes you but your moans haven't been louder.
"I want the whole mansion to hear you scream so they know you're mine," he thrusts into you harder.
Normally he tries to hold himself back. He's usually so worried about hurting you. But this time you can tell that he's using the vampire strength he has.
The sheets are getting all balled up under you. This is what you wanted, exactly what you asked for, but your body can't help but squirm.
"Stay still," he growls and bites the back of your neck. You gasp, your body staying still as he draws out your blood.
The hand on your ass pushes you into the bed. "Keep squirming and you'll have to go back to humping the pillow."
You whine, agreeing to stay still. Thrusting faster, he tugs the collar more to keep you from jerking forward too much.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Theo!" You pant hard. You're so sensitive, but Theo manages to keep getting rougher.
"Don't think that after I cum I'll be done with you. If you're in heat I need to fuck it into you."
You have a feeling that you're going to black out before he's done with you.
~~
Tag list~
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scarlet--wiccan · 2 days
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Hello! I wanted to ask a potentially hardish question. How do you feel about non-Romani engaging with Tarot, doing paid reads, and such? Do you think it's okay for everyone to partake in it? Would you at least want people to be more informed of its origins?
My general attitude, when it comes to anything related to magic, fortunetelling, etc, is that we should be focusing more on cultural restitution and historical authenticity than trying to make a list of who can do what. When it comes to tarot, there's a lot to learn, and a lot to unpack in both of those areas. The short answer is that I don't believe that tarot is, or should be, a closed practice. There is, however, is a deep legacy of racism in the evolution of tarot as a fixture of mainstream culture, and the fortunetelling industry is rife with Romani exploitation. I believe that understanding this, and integrating it into your actions and conduct, is key to developing an ethically and spiritually holistic practice. And I think that applies to all forms of magic and spirituality-- racism and colonialism are very common in magical spaces where historical understanding is not encouraged.
If this is something you'd like to learn more about, I would highly encourage you to pre-order Secrets of Romani Fortuntelling, which is an upcoming book written by my friend Jezmina von Thiele and their Romanistan cohost, Paulina Stevens. Preorders make a huge difference for small publishers and new authors.This book is an authentic new look at fortunetelling practices in Romani culture and I, personally, think everybody who reads tarot needs to buy a copy.
If you'd like to receive a reading from a Romani practictioner, I am running a donation drive for Palestinian families and offering online tarot readings with personalized writeups and graphics as rewards.
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My understanding is that tarot, and cartomancy in general, are closely tied to Romani culture and history because they were trades that Romani families developed and practiced as a form of survival work*. The same is true for several other types of fortunetelling and folk magic practices. There is an element of cultural preservation and ancestral custom in a lot of these skills, but ultimately, this is something that was meant to be shared with non-Roma, so it's not a closed practice, in that regard. And it's worth mentioning, of course, that many of these skills and devices were adapted from existing aspects of Western culture. The original tarot deck was, after all, just a set of European playing cards.
Over the centuries, tarot has really taken on a life of its own outside of Romani society, as both a popular practice and object of cultural fascination. There are other cultures who practice divination and fortunetelling for very similar reasons, and because tarot is so universally known, it's become a tool that is shared by many, and I think it informs the way folks approach cartomancy even when they're using other devices. And I think that's really beautiful! Unfortunately, there is also a more painful part of this history that also needs to be acknowledged.
Most modern tarot decks, and much of the basis for how we read them, are the products of 19th & 20th century occult and esoteric movements in the West, which often held an Orientalist fixation on Romani, Jewish, Middle Eastern and East Asian cultures. When you look at the works of Levi, Crowley, Waite, and so forth, you'll find a lot of fabricated histories and colonial fantasies about these cultures, and that informed the symbology with which they designed the formative modern decks we know today as the Thoth and Waite-Smith tarot. In my opinion, Jewish and Romani peoples were the most heavily exploited by this movement. It just goes to show how deeply our histories a diasporic people are connected.
Here in America, many states have legislation intended to police or even outlaw the fortunetelling trade, and you will often find that these laws are based in anti-Romani racism. Furthermore police are known to profile Romani citizens and families as scammers, and a lot of the language used to describe these "scams" in both police documents and the media employs racist language and stereotypes. Despite this, non-Roma, particularly white people, are often able to turn fortunetelling into a lucrative business by using their privilege to safely navigate the legal system's impositions-- and many of these white people love nothing more than to dress up in an approximation of Romani costume in order to give themselves an exotic, mystical air-- just like Levi and Crowley before them.
So, it's my opinion that the modern fortunetelling industry and the last several generations of tarot knowledge were built, both directly and indirectly on Romani oppression. People need to understand this history, and their place in it, in order to understand how they, personally, have arrived at their own relationship with tarot. Once you do understand that, you can begin to incorporate anti-racist intention and action into your practice. If you want suggestions, providing historical acknowledgement and Romani resources to your clients is a great place to start. Being an ally and being in community with us in our fight for human rights is even better. If you own a business or a shop, you can divest yourself from problematic suppliers, or learn how to identify racist books and decks, and stop selling them. Make sure you're not exploiting or perpetuating Romani stereotypes and call other people out on it, too. And if it's possible, really reevaluate the way you have arrived at your understanding of the cards, and how you communicate with them. Look past information that has been sold to you and seek personal authenticity. You'll be a better reader for it.
*What I am describing here is not a universal experience. Some people and some families practice these trades, not all. Romani people are not a monolith, and this is not a defining aspect or Romani culture.
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aloneinwintrr · 9 days
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i have a hc that aren leans on something like a wall or desk or like slightly bows when he’s talking to shun to kinda get down to his level
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