#‘we want the religious reward because we’re supposed to want it’

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine being Azula’s favourite friend who she recruits first. The two of you have always had an unspoken attraction which neither of you were brave enough to acknoweldge...until you save her life and Azula decides to reward you

Background

You and Azula attended the academy together and had initially started as rivals. You were an above-average fire bender and because she didn’t know you Azula saw that as a threat. So she made it her mission to ruin your life when one day she found you arguing with Zuko. You didn’t hesitate to yell at him or point out his faults and from that moment on Azula knew she’d misjudged you. Azula be-friended you and you became a part of her group. Over time you became her favourite. She trusted you and could feel your loyalty to her, which was something she grew to respect more and more as Mai was compromised by Zuko and Ty lee became even more whimsical. You soon became inseparable and as the friendship grew it began to feel like more...you realised you liked Azula as more than a friend. You enjoyed every second you spent together and thought she felt the same. The tension between you grew and although Azula would grow flustered around you when you flirted with her she never reciprocated your feelings openly. You were heartbroken but understood that falling for the princess of the fire nation hadn’t been a very smart decision on your part. So needing some space to mend as soon as you graduated from the academy you joined the army. It hurt to be around Azula every day and to know you could be something great together if only your nation was more progressive. So you ran away from the situation and didn’t see Azula for years. You managed to stop thinking about her constantly after a few weeks and soon your heart didn’t feel as broken anymore...but you knew deep down you still cared about her. The princess would always be your first love. 

Your POV

The army was tougher than the fire nation academy for many reasons. For one your name, reputation and grades didn’t matter once you passed through the doors. They didn’t care if you'd sparred with the best fire benders or got the highest grades in combat skills for ten years, you were reduced to a number and treated as one. You hated every second of it but the alternative was to return to your family and you’d take anything over that so you stuck it out. 

One day all the recruits were ordered to wear their best clothes and report to the large training hall which could only mean one thing. Someone wanted to buy troops. High ranking generals or rich businessmen could hire trainees for missions or any jobs they needed completing. The buyer could choose who they wanted after watching you all in training and you would then decide if to accept or not. You took every opportunity you could and so stared straight ahead for inspection, trying your best to look hirable when a voice broke your resolve. "I’m looking for something in particular" Azula told your trainer and you only just managed to keep your head forward but a small smirk broke out on your face. Azula spotted you and walked down the line slowly before stopping in front of you. "Well, well who do we have here?" she asked. You looked up at her and matched her smile "long time no see huh?". Your trainer was horrified at the way you addressed the princess and rushed to yell at you when Azula cut him off with a laugh. She took your arm and you hugged her tightly. Your stomach exploded in butterflies and you clutched her tightly, you’d missed Azula dearly. "Your highness i don’t know what...i’m sorry for this one’s behaviour" the trainer started obliviously and Azula rolled her eyes "are they all as dumb as you? Obviously i know y/n". You smirked and Azula was spurred on by that beautiful expression she’d missed. "You really have no idea who she is?" Azula asked laughing "this is y/n l/n, her father is friends with my father and she is a personal friend to the royal family. To hear you haven’t treated her appropriately is very displeasing" Azula frowned and you smiled as your usually cruel and horrible trainer shook. "I’m sorry we had no idea who she was! We will treat her better, promote her actually" he babbled. "No that won’t do" Azula said "and that wont be necessary, y/n will be leaving with me for a job and won’t be coming back here". The guard hesitated "i...you can’t just take a recruit". "I’m not but i could" Azula growled "i think you’ll find it’s more y/n quits". "She can’t quit" the guard replied “she made an oath” and Azula raised an eyebrow in response "are you tell me what i can do? Are you telling a noblewoman what she can do? Any debt she owes you will be wiped by my command, understand?" Azula barked. The trainer paled but nodded "yes princess" and bowed his head. "Good" Azula nodded and she strode with you right out of the front doors. 

Azula brought you to the lodgings she was staying at in the nearest town and you were amused to see it had been given the royal treatment. Red everywhere, freshly polished surfaces as far as the eye could see, gold and silver decorations lay on every available service and of course a large portrait of the fire lord hung on the wall. Over a lavish dinner Azula told you the mission making you realise you’d accepted and left the army without even asking for any details. You were fine with hunting the avatar and Zuko with Mai and Ty lee but you also recognised you would’ve accepted almost any mission Azula gave you because you’d been so happy to see her. Azula had always had this effect on you and time apart hadn’t done anything to lessen that. You were as much in love with her now as you were the day you left two years ago. 

After dinner Azula led you to your shared apartment, it contained two bedrooms with ensuites and a large living room which you were pleased to see and you sunk into the sofa happily. "Your hair’s shorter" Azula commented suddenly and you nodded touching it self consciously "yeah it was a target in sparring". Azula scoffed "seriously? Don’t they teach the other recruits proper fire bending moves as opposed to childish tricks?". You shrugged "they told us to win by any means. That it doesn’t have to look good so long as you win". Azula laughed again "amateurs all of them! Of course it should look good". You smirked "well when it comes so easy to you" and glanced over her. Azula shrugged but had a large smile on her face "well I suppose I have been blessed in that aspect". You laughed again and smiled "this is nice". Azula smiled too "it is" and you locked eyes for several seconds before she looked away slowly. Azula stood up abruptly "we should get some sleep we’re moving on foot tomorrow to go get Ty lee and then Mai". You were excited at the thought of seeing your old friends and grinned "great! Also don’t think i didn’t notice you came for me first" you called as Azula made her way towards her room. She halted and you smirked "I always knew i was your favourite but really Azula to make it so obvious" you grinned and Azula paused. You walked to your own room and Azula finally responded "i always made it obvious you’re my favourite, it’s nothing new" and went into her room.

You stepped into your own room and leant back against the closed door blushing vividly from the encounter with Azula. You’d spent all your time in the army trying to convince yourself your relationship with Azula was purely platonic. That the fact your heart sped up whenever you thought of her or how you dreamt of her often was just because you were close friends. You managed to convince yourself you weren’t in love with Azula and that she didn’t feel anything for you either but less than a day with her and you knew that was a lie. You couldn’t deny the way she made you feel and how she smiled at you in a way she never did with anyone else...as much as it made you nervous your realisation also excited you. You couldn’t wait to be around Azula again and felt a happy glow spread over you. You settled in your bed, a smile still on your face and burrowed into the exquisite cushions. You expected to fall to sleep easily but a while later you were still awake. You frowned confused as to why. You were happy, you were with Azula and the bed was comfy so why couldn’t you sleep? You figured maybe the bed was too soft compared to what you were used to in the army so went into the living room to try the sofa. You laid down and realised this was better, more like the beds back at the military. You had just closed your eyes when Azula’s door opened. "Trouble sleeping?" she asked and you nodded "i think the bed’s too comfy". Azula laughed "i thought the opposite, really y/n your taste has worsened in our time apart". You shrugged "it’s better than what i’ve been sleeping on for the last 9 months". Azula lay down on the sofa next to you and you looked at her. You didn’t ask why after finding her own bed soooo uncomfortable she came to lay on a sofa barely a foot from where you were and just enjoyed the silence. “So, anything else i missed you didn’t put in your letters?” you asked. Azula hadn’t written to you much at the academy and honestly that had been a good thing. You’d have just missed her more than you already had but she did send brief updates once a month. Azula nodded "probably tons, i couldn’t write often". You didn’t point out she wrote to you on the first of each month religiously instead you turned on your side to look at her. Mai and Ty lee had also written to you but you’d noticed compared to their letters and the changes in their lives Azula’s had been...well boring. You felt almost sorry for her, you’d all moved away to different things but Azula had been stuck at home with a father who was cruel, the ghost of a cold mother and the memory of a banished brother. Azula quickly discussed some events that had happened and then also turned on her side to face you. "What about you then? How was military life really?". You shrugged "not as i expected". "I knew that job would be awful" Azula commented "why did you stay so long then?". You sighed "well i liked some parts of it, the physical training was similar to what we did in the academy which i liked, the mental tests were better, they made me use all my brain". "That’s a first" Azula chimed in and you rolled your eyes "i liked those parts of it...could’ve done without the abuse from the trainers, food restrictions and ban on leaving". Azula raised an eyebrow "remember what i always told you y/n no self-pity, you could’ve left at any time. You chose not to". You thought Azula sounded a bit angry when she said that but you shrugged "i could but that would have meant going back home not coming back to the capital and I’d rather fight all the trainers at once than that" you said through gritted teeth and Azula saw you’d tensed. She recalled you never got along with your family but she hadn’t realised they were part of the reason you’d taken such an awful job so soon after graduation. "They hated my move to the capital and said if i failed at all they’d have me back and married, i had one shot to escape them, there’s no way i’d give it away because i didn’t actually like what i’d chosen". Azula didn’t comment she just watched you conflicted, she hated self pity and weakness but you were so like her, she’d have done the exact same thing in your position. "But you did leave" Azula commented “you left to come with me” and you looked down "i did...". Azula saw the way your face changed, filling with worry and she actually felt slightly guilty. You’d left instinctively for her when she asked, no matter what it might mean for you in the long term. You did all that for her and it proved to her again why you were her closest ally.

Azula laughed and you looked at her confused "y/n do you really think i’d make you give up your job for a small mission?". You frowned "what?". "Your parents won’t be angry because this a much better job, you’ll be paid more and you’re working with me" Azula said pointedly. "They can’t say anything against that, as long as you’re with me they can’t touch you" she smiled and you grinned at Azula "you’d vouch for me?". Azula nodded "of course, i want you with me and that’s what i’ll get, i don’t care who your family are they’re not taking you anywhere ever". You were equally touched and shocked "ever?". Azula nodded "well obviously you might not be here forever but they’re never taking you back to tie you to a marriage, i’ll just keep coming up with excuses to keep you in my company until you’re too old and then they’ll have to leave you alone with me" Azula explained and you smiled "sounds perfect".

Azula laughed and met your eye, seeing how intensely you looked at her gave her chills. Azula had missed you greatly in the capital but honestly she’d let you leave without a fight. She sensed a growing attraction and longing for you which she knew had to stop. So she let you go figuring some distance would be good but as soon as she needed allies the first face in her mind was yours. The second she saw you she knew she’d made the right choice but she also felt the attraction just as suddenly. Laying here staring at you made it more apparent than ever and it scared Azula. She blushed and turned away from you, facing the back of the sofa "try and sleep" she commanded "we'll be up early". 

You didn’t comment on how much Azula was blushing or how she’d chosen to sleep out here with you. You just smiled and closed your eyes basking in the feeling of all she’d said and the safety of her. “Good night Princess” you whispered and you fell asleep almost instantly.

The next day you reunited with Ty lee and then Mai. Ty lee had launched herself at both you and Azula when she saw you and the same occurred for Mai. Mai grunted and hugged Ty lee begrudgingly. "I thought you ran away to the circus?" Mai asked Ty lee and she nodded "i did but y/n and Azula showed up and well they called louder than the universe" Ty lee smiled. "Wait y/n and Azula, isn’t the circus closer to the capital than the military?" Mai asked looking from you to Azula. "Yeah so?" you said confused and Mai shrugged "nothing just seems like it’d make sense to go to the circus first then military but hey i’m sure Azula had her reasons for coming to get you first" Mai smirked slightly. You didn’t look at Azula but Mai and Ty lee exchanged a look at the matching blushes you were both sporting, some things never change. Azula recovered first and pretended Mai hadn’t said anything about the two of you and began explaining her plan. You joined in after a few seconds of recovery but still felt giddy at Mai’s words.

Throughout your trip you and Azula grew closer and closer just like you’d done at the academy. Although neither of you spoke about it you felt drawn to one another and Azula acted differently around you. She sought you out more than the others, always kept the closest proximity to you and paired Mai and Ty lee and you with herself whenever you had to split into teams. As you fell into old habits all the past feelings came back and you began to worry at all the dangerous situations Azula was putting herself in just to please her father. She’d infiltrated Ba Sing Sei without any backup besides you, Ty lee and Mai which terrified you. Of course her plan worked but still you were so grateful Azula had been unharmed and managed to take over the whole city without any mishaps. You hoped it’d be smooth sailing from there but of course she wanted her brother and the avatar too. You did exactly what she said to try and help her but you couldn’t escape the feeling something would go wrong. Azula had left to go and face the avatar all alone apart from her dai lee agents and you couldn’t get her out of your head. Azula had put you in charge of making sure the earth king and his bear were looked after but you wanted to ensure she was okay so left it to Ty lee and Mai. You followed the secret passage you’d seen Azula take and found your way into a massive cavern filled with people. You spotted Azula fighting the avatar and saw her shoot him with a lightning bolt. He fell to the floor and you gaped at the fact Azula had likely just killed the avatar. The water bender with the avatar then went into a rage and flew through the air using a massive wave to catch him. Azula smirked ready to engage with her and you saw Zuko standing beside her. You were surprised to see Zuko beside her, never thinking she’d actually manage to get Zuko on her side but of course she was a master at manipulation. You smiled at all she’d achieved when you noticed Azula’s uncle Iroh was approaching them. He had flames in his hands and was looking right at Azula who was fixed on the water bender. You gasped at Iroh’s intentions and how nobody was aware of what was going on behind them. You broke out into a run and leapt down the cliff as quick as you could. You were getting closer but you still weren’t close enough. Iroh raised his hands and you went into panic mode. “Stop” you yelled and threw your own fire as Iroh released his own. Your strike managed to hit his off course and it hit a rock beside Azula. Azula and Zuko both jumped and Iroh turned to you. You were now stood blocking his path to Azula and you sensed he still wanted to take her down. You anticipated his attack and blocked it instinctively before firing back your own. Iroh was much stronger than you so you were heavily outmatched when suddenly two flames burst onto the scene. Azula sprang in front and began attacking her uncle savagely while Zuko helped. You were again slightly surprised by Zuko but quickly joined in. With three on one even the dragon of the west couldn’t last long and with a final hit from Azula he fell to the floor. “Seize him and throw him in a cage” Azula spat and walked past him to you. “I thought I told you to wait upstairs” she said fixing her intense gaze on you and you shrugged “I wanted to help and I think it’s a good job I did”. Azula shot you a look at your boldness but you could tell she was more amused than annoyed. “You appear to be correct” she replied curtly before walking past you. You smiled after Azula, admiring how happy she looked and why wouldn’t she? She’d taken over Ba Sing Sei, possibly killed the avatar, brought down her uncle and convinced Zuko to ally with her, all in all it had been an excellent day and Azula had proved herself a force to be reckoned with. You began following her when you saw the guards walking Iroh in the opposite direction. You were going to look away when you noticed he was still staring at Azula. You could feel his anger and knew what his intentions were, he meant to finish the job. In the blink of an eye Iroh burst out of his restraints, threw his guards to the side and took a stance. “Azula get down” you yelled sensing the electricity in the air but he had an excellent shot at her and she had nowhere to go. Instinctively you threw yourself into the path of the lightning. 

Azula also responded instinctively. She conjured her own lightning to meet her uncle’s when she saw you running into the fight, You tried to raise a wall of fire but there wasn’t time, you got hit by the bolt and collapsed. Azula only just managed to direct her own bolt away from you and felt her heart beating rapidly. As the smoke cleared Azula saw your body on the floor rage consumed her. She conjured a huge amount of electricity and sent it all at her uncle. He tried to block it but Azula’s bolt sliced through his defences hitting him square in the chest. Azula didn’t even check to see if her bolt had met its mark, she knew it had so rushed to your side. “Y/n” she yelled and she knelt beside you staring at the smoke coming off your back where the bolt had hit you. Your uniform was partially melted and Azula could smell the burning flesh strongly. "I need water” Azula yelled grabbing you and trying to feel for a pulse. She felt one and felt her own breathing somewhat stabilise too. "Now" Azula yelled and people rushed forwards. Azula poured the water over you "it’s okay" she told as you winced as she poured more. "We need to get her into the pool" she called "someone help me get her to the water". Zuko appeared and helped Azula carry you to a fountain. You were semi-conscious which made Azula hurry even quicker, she wanted to reduce your pain as soon as possible. Azula climbed into the fountain first and told Zuko to pass you to her. She took you carefully and laid you on your back floating. Your eyes closed as you passed out and Zuko called for a doctor. Azula clutched your by your arms keeping you close to her in the water "you will not die y/n" she snarled "you will be fine do you hear me?". You didn’t respond. 

Later

You woke up face down on something soft and tried to move your face away from it when shooting pains erupted along your spine. You felt like your back was cracking open and groaned loudly. "Careful y/n" you heard someone say and saw it was Ty Lee. "Ty lee? What happened?". "You got burnt" she explained "on your back..luckily Azula cooled you in time to stop any long-term damage but it’s still really sore so be careful". You reached for your back and flinched at the slightest touch of it. "Stop" Ty lee told you "Azula said i’m to watch you and make sure you rest, apply more soothing cream on it every three hours and just basically always make sure you're okay!" she told you cheerfully. You shook your head "Ty lee i’m fine you don’t have to sit guard over me" you tried to sit up and went pale from the pain. "Don’t do that" Ty lee cried rushing to your side "if you want to get up i can pile some pillows in front of you for you to lean on. I don’t think you can sit up for a while". You pouted annoyed but asked Ty lee to bring you said pillows and managed to pull yourself up onto your elbows "so what happened? Tell me everything". "Well thanks to you we managed to stop Iroh escaping and hurting Azula, we took Ba Sing Sei and the avatar is dead". "Wow" you said surprised "That is... a lot". Ty lee nodded “Ow and Zuko’s back on our side". You nodded and smiled "I bet Mai is happy". Ty lee grinned too "she is i haven’t seen her since we started for home". "We’re on our way back?" you asked and Ty lee nodded "yes but Azula said me, you and Mai are to stay with her even after we arrive back in the capital, she said she still has a need for us". You smiled laying your head down blushing slightly, Azula had kept her promise, she wasn’t letting you go. You sighed happily and Ty lee smiled "y/n?". "I’m just glad to be going back" you smiled "i think we'll have lots of fun". You had been dozing when the sounds of the door made you jolt awake sending shooting pains down your back. You winced but prepared yourself for an attack until you saw her. Azula raised her hands as she saw you jump and she smiled "just me". You relaxed "Azula, sorry i was asleep". "Don’t apologise you need to rest after what happened, i just wanted to come check on you. We'll be in the fire nation in a few hours". "That’s good news" you smiled and Azula nodded "how does the back feel? Ty lee says you’re doing as well as can be expected" Azula’s eyes drifted to your back and you froze. You were now very aware you were laid on your front with only a blanket covering your bare torso from Azula’s eye. Azula stepped closer and you rushed to explain and stop her inspecting you. "I’m fine" you told her "the burns aren’t too bad, they hardly hurt at all". Azula raised an eyebrow "then you won’t mind me having a look?" and stepped beside you. She reached for the blanket and you grabbed her hand with an uncomfortable strain "wait, i lied...i don’t want you to see it, Ty lee says it looks bad. It’s in the blistering stage and yes it hurts but everything has already been done for it and me so you don’t need to see it or check on me". Azula titled her head to one side as you couldn’t meet her eye and she sighed sitting on the floor beside your bed. "It will scar but unlike Zuko you can wear yours with pride" Azula said forcefully and you looked up at her shocked "with time i’m sure it will simply resemble a tattoo" Azula explained. You turned on your side to look at her, something you’d practised with Ty lee and could now manage. "Ty lee told me you did as much for me as you could...i can’t really remember it but..". "Do you remember jumping into the path of lightning for me?" Azula said "without protecting yourself or even any concrete attempt to do so, and what for?". You sighed thinking Azula was angry at you "i...i know it was reckless and stupid, it went against everything we were taught at the academy but I don’t know Azula, i did it without even thinking. I saw it heading for you and you weren’t ready! It would hit you and i just did it without hesitation, i know it seems stupid and emotional but i don’t regret it Azula i’d do it again" you told her sighing, feeling she wouldn’t understand. "I know that might sound stupid...why i’d do that for you but Azula i..." you started as Azula cut you off "y/n". Azula gently raised your head with a hand helping you to look at her. You were confused by Azula’s gaze, it was soft but at the same time intense, you couldn’t recognise the emotion, was she angry? Happy? Excited? Apparently it was somewhere in the middle. Azula leant down to you, hand on your cheek as she ghosted her lips over yours. You felt a sensation like water being thrown over you as Azula kissed you softly and quickly before pulling back "i don’t completely get it but i understand" she smiled blushing softly "i think I can imagine why you did it" she said looking away from you "thank you for saving me". You were speechless, Azula was thanking you? Azula understood why you did it? Did that mean she liked you too? She’d just kissed you so of course she did! Or was that what she thought you wanted? Azula had been used all her life, did she simply think you did this in order to make gains with her? 

Azula smiled slightly to see your brain short-circuiting at her actions and stood up. "i just wanted to make sure you were okay so now I know you are i’ll let you go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we’re there". You nodded still confused and watched Azula walked away. You weren’t sure what had just happened but you knew you had to make Azula realise you didn’t do this just to use her. "Azula" you said suddenly "is that...what you just did...if that was my reward or what you think i wanted from you after today...i didn’t save you because i was expecting a reward or anything from you so what i’m saying is you don’t have to compensate me if you don’t want to. I didn’t do it for any reason other than to keep you safe". 

Azula blushed suddenly and felt her emotions swirling, she realised she was happy. To hear you express openly your desire for her safety filled her with excitement and she realised nobody had ever cared for her before like you did. Azula nodded slowly "that is welcomed news y/n" she smiled "but i didn’t reward you like that as a forced compensation either" she told you "although my intentions were personal and selfish i suppose”. 

You smirked slightly and nodded "good...i mean fine with me". Azula nodded "i’m glad we understand each other, good night y/n". "Good night princess Azula" you said savouring the words and Azula’s eye twitched but she maintained her calm expression and bowed leaving. You lay back giggling as realisation (and the medication you were on for the pain) set in. Azula had kissed you and told you she didn’t do it because she thought she had to but because she wanted to! For selfish reasons!!! You wrapped yourself in your blankets and didn’t stop smiling even in your sleep.

____

Is it just me who loves the idea of being in a secret relationship with the princess of the fire nation? I feel like Azula would excel at sneaking around the palace and would like rebelling against Ozai for once

#azula #azula x reader #azula imagine #princess azula #avatar #avatar imagine #avatar princess azula #avatar the last air bender #avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender imagine #fire nation #fire nation royalty #mai #ty lee #zuko #iroh #atla azula #avatar azula #atla mai #avatar mai #avatar ty lee #atla ty lee #ba sing sei

[akirascrybaby]

the ghosts within

pairing: pieck finger/hange zoe (pikuhan)

tags: fantasy, gender neutral hange, ghosts, memory loss, mentions of death, mild violence, smut & more smut!

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36179584?view_adult=true

There they were, driving through the pouring rain, a thick fog blinding their sights, on their way to the next big thing in their lives. The car was flooded with their mutual feelings of happiness and excitement, they were close, so close, but before they knew it all they could see was a flash of light, bright enough to blind them and-

“Did I tell you that this whole place is haunted? Legend has it that it’s crawling with ghosts, vampires, werewolves and the whole shebang.”

“Shut up Porco.”

Pieck winced as she got out of the car, her legs limp from the lengthy journey and her arms heavy from the boxes she was carrying. She should have been happy, this move was a fresh start for her and Porco, and it was as if the universe was rewarding them both after putting them through a carousel of failures.

Pieck and her close friend Porco had gotten the opportunity to work in an university in a small town about 4 hours north where they had both lived. Despite it being such a huge opportunity, quite a few people had turned down the chance to work there, since the entire town was plagued with rumours of being haunted by every supernatural being one could think of. 

Pieck and Porco were initially apprehensive about the move, Pieck because the idea of living in such a small place in nature seemed off putting, and Porco because he was genuinely terrified over the possibility of being possessed by a demon, but both of them needed the money and neither of them were in a position to turn down any job thrown their way.

The apartment wasn’t what either of them suspected. It was in a vacant part of the small town, which was saying something since the entire area felt like a ghost town. The building also seemed miniature, containing only 3 other apartments. Pieck was hesitant to go inside on her own, but Porco grabbed her by the arm, and in true paranoia fashion, he slowly walked into the apartment holding one piece of garlic and reading passages from a variety of religious scriptures. 

A small part of the petite dark haired woman wanted to take her camera out and show all their friends just how paranoid “tough guy” Galliard was, but not wanting to argue with Porco on the the first day of moving in, she decided to hold back. 

“Right, so I’ve checked everything, and I don’t see any ghouls or whatever.” Porco stated, almost looking proud for doing, absolutely nothing. 

“Thank you ghostbuster, but have you given any thought as to what we’re going to eat?” Pieck replied dryly, trying so hard not to bring up the fact that she gave Porco one job and he screwed it up by bringing nothing but beer and garlic. “It’s not exactly like we can order in.”

Porco bashfully scratched the back of his head, before digging his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket and pulling out $20. “Do you reckon this will be enough for groceries?” He asked, waving the notes in Pieck’s face.

“I guess you’re going to have to find out.” Pieck dryly replied, waiting a moment for Porco to understand what she was insinuating, before reminding him to buy the essentials and nothing else as he slowly walked out of the building, still muttering things to ward off any supposed supernatural beings.

Pieck slowly strolled into the apartment, the wooden floorboards creaking below her while the lights kept flickering, clearly in need of a fix. She could have sworn she heard a faint voice in the background, but the rational side of her quickly dismissed it as nothing. “I’m probably getting caught up in Porco’s paranoia.” She thought to herself.

She walked into the only room with a functioning light, and placed her phone on the table before throwing herself on the crimson sofa, only to be instantly drowned in an array of dustclouds. Wincing in digust, she jumped back up with the intent of moving the sofa away to the corner, but as she slowly began to move the sofa away, she felt two hands on her hips, and she could have sworn she also felt wind in her ear, warm and breezy, almost like a whisper.

Pieck doubled back in fear, and rushed to grab to the broom in the corner to defend herself, and began slowly pacing around her apartment; dishevelled, waving a broom, and inspecting every single corner her eyes fell on.

“Is there someone here? Hello??” She yelled, waving the broom around in her petite hands, clearly biting off more than she could handle. Pieck briefly caught her own reflection in the mirror, and realising just how stupid she looked in that moment, she slowly lowered the broom, only to hold it back up again when she heard footsteps pacing.

She tiptoed towards the sounds of heavy feet, hoping to catch whatever intruder, or ghost, as the irrational voice in the back of her head put it, that was lurking around. In true horror flick style, the lights flickered on and off before blacking out for good. She heard a deep grunt in the darkness, and without thinking, hit the blur with full force.

“Who the fuck are you?” She screamed, ready to swing another shot, only to see a phone on the ground with the light reflecting on the face of the person she hit. Pieck looked around to see shopping items all over the floor, and in the centre of it all, a confused and angry Porco, looking up at her in shock.

“Are you insane?” He yelled, rubbing his shoulder, since Pieck was too small to actually reach his head. “Why the hell did you hit me for?”

Ironic how it took Porco being the voice of reason for Pieck to realise just how paranoid she was acting. She murmured a brief apology, before helping him put the groceries away, very clearly avoiding why she hit her best friend on the head with a broom.

Later that night, while Porco was passed out on the couch and the apartment was decked out with candles, a sleepy Pieck began to reflect back on the events the transpired that evening. The lights flickering on and off was very clearly due to the faulty electricity, the hands she felt on her waist must’ve been because of the way she jumped off the couch, the “wind” in her ear was obviously just wind, and the footsteps had to have been Porco coming back home.

And that weird shadowy figure with an eyepatch she can see out of the corner of her eye had to be something cooked up by her sleep deprived mind, while the faint calling of her name as she lulled into a deep sleep was just her imagination, of course.

______________________________________________________________

It seemed pretty typical that Porco and Pieck would be late for their first day of work. The stress of moving in and starting a new job was beginning to get to them. They wouldn’t be paid until a month later, and they barely had any money to their name. Luckily for them, their landlord, a bizarre man named Zeke, genuinely did not seem to care at all, and was pretty content with the pair of them “paying whenever”. If anything, he was certain they wouldn’t even last till the next month.

Pieck had gotten a role as a TA for a Literature professor named Erwin Smith. He was a no-nonsense man, but despite his serious demeanour, he seemed genuinely lovely and the pair quickly grew a rapport. Porco wasn’t so lucky, he ended up as a TA for a Chemistry professor named Levi, who was, by all accounts, absolutely terrifying.

The first week went by fairly smoothly, and the pair found themselves settling in just fine. Aside from a few stress induced breakdowns from Porco due to “working for the scariest man alive”, the overall experience seemed great.

One evening after work, Pieck made her way to the local store, with the intention of buying extra milk, since Porco had amped up his coffee intake since working for Levi. She made her way to the checkout, and it wasn’t until she heard a familiar voice speaking that she looked up to see that the cashier was none other than-

“Zeke?” She asked, genuinely shocked as to why her landlord was also manning the till.

“Ah, yes, if it isn’t Pik?”

“Pieck.” She quickly corrected him. “I didn’t know you worked here?” She added, bagging her groceries while ignoring the vibrating sound of her phone, which was undoubtedly a phone call from Porco, crying.

“It’s a small town.” He shrugged, locking up the till and putting on his coat, “would you like me to drop you off home? I’m done with my shift.”

Walking home with your landlord was awkward enough, but even more-so when your landlord was Zeke. He kept rambling on about everything and anything, ranging from his so called sightings of werewolves to his conspiracy about seeing a UFO with his own eyes, and how the government hid that from everyone.

“You know.” He began, leading to a not so subtle eyeroll from Pieck, “it’s a wonder you and your boyfriend moved into that empty apartment, everyone I’ve ever seen either run away terrified or are too fucking spooked out by the story about it.”

“What story?” Pieck asked, for once genuinely interested in what Zeke had to say.

The large blond man gave her a coy smile before fixing his glasses, which Porco has said reminded him of a 70s serial killer, and looked around, almost as if he was worried about being overheard.

“Around 200 years ago, this writer named Hange Zoë had moved into the town. Back then it was fairly small and the people weren’t exactly firm believers of literature, science, or common sense. They found her horror stories to be satanic, so they suspected Hangë of being a witch, and burnt them alive with their books.” Zeke took a deep breath, almost as if he was afraid, before continuing.

“Rumors say they turnt into a ghost and began haunting everyone in the town, as well as that specific apartment.” Zeke paused in front of a surprised Pieck, before pointing to their apartment window.

“Is this true?” Pieck mumbled, finding herself caught up, and somewhat upset, in the entire story. Zeke simply shrugged, before bidding her goodbye, saying he was late for his shift at the laundromat.

Pieck tentatively walked back to her apartment, slowly looking around, with Zeke’s words replaying in her head. She tried to shake off the possibility of there being a supernatural being in her home, vampires, werewolves and witches don’t exist. She thought. Neither do fucking ghosts. She felt bad for Hange, but surely they weren’t a ghost.

“Oi, Pieck.” Porco called, walking into the living room from the shower, his hair still drenched. “Where have you been? I brought you some pizza.”

“Pizza? How did you manage to afford that?” Pieck questioned, “we’re on a budget.”

“Zeke gave me a discount.” He shrugged, grabbing a pizza and shoving it into his mouth. “He’s fucking weird, but decent.”

“Zeke works there as well?”

“Yeah I also saw him at the bike store downtown. Small town huh?” He replied, his mouth full of food. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”

Pieck’s mind just couldn’t focus on the movie at all. She couldn’t tell if it was because it was a favorite of Porco’s and not to her taste, or if it was because her mind kept wondering to Zeke’s story, about the young writer being threatened by an entire town, before fucking disappearing.

She took out her phone and shot a look at Porco, who was too busy laughing at Jack’s death in Titanic as a way to hide his tears, and quickly typed in the name “Hange Zoë” in the search bar, curious to see what would come up.

The first few searches were links to their horror short stories, a few pamphlets and a critical essay they wrote. Interesting, Pieck noted, but what really caught her eye was one link titled “Hange Zoë: sightings of the Vampire?”

Vampire? She thought. How bizarre. She clicked on the link and read through multiple testimonies of people swearing they swore her, with stories ranging from “I saw them disguised as an old man” to “Hange bit me!”. Surprisingly, there was no picture of Hange attached to any of the links she could find, and for all she knew, the entire thing could just be a legend gone wrong. It had to be, she thought.

She kept scrolling through her phone, before freezing as she felt the sensation of a cold, breezy air above her right ear. She quickly turned around, only to see an open window behind her.

Pieck felt like she really was losing her mind.

______________________________________________________________

Having a day off as an university TA was rare. If she wasn’t working, she had to help plan lessons, mark work or help Professor Smith with a variety of tasks. It felt nice to finally have the day off to herself however, and she decided to spend the day at the library.

She initially wanted to spend the day at home, but Porco had invited a girl he had met from the university up to the apartment, and the last thing she wanted to do was idly sit there while Porco and his new girlfriend were moaning to the heavens.

The town’s library was small, almost a fraction of the size of the one back home, and the books mostly centered around a fantasy theme, which made sense considering how all tourists come in hoping to catch their own bigfoot.

Pieck made her way to the front desk, only to double back in shock after seeing who the librarian was.

“Excuse me, where is the horror section- Zeke?”

“Oh hi Pieck! How are you?” He smiled, seemingly unaware of why she was so shocked.

“You work in the library as well?” She asked, genuinely trying to figure out if there were multiple versions of this man.

“Small town.” He shrugged. “Horror section is back there.” He pointed, still nonchalant as to why Pieck was so confused.

Making a mental note to investigate Zeke later, Pieck made her way to the horror section and began scanning for any works by Hangë Zoe. She failed to find any, but did come across a book entitled “A collection of spooky short stories!” which did contain some of their works. Pieck quickly began scanning through the book, desperate to read Hange’s work.

“That’s a good book.” A voice muttered, leading Pieck to look up and lay her eyes on the most beautiful person she’d ever seen.

They were tall, then again everyone was tall to Pieck, slightly tanned, had brown hair, of which some partly covered their left eye, wore glasses, and was dressed in a brownish suit, all the while wearing a super enthusiastic smile on their face.

“I guess so, I haven’t read it.” Pieck replied, looking down in an attempt to hid her fierce blush. “I’m not the biggest horror fan, I’ve never understood why people write or read it. I’ve always preferred romance.”

“When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.” The stranger replied, pulling up a chair and leaning in towards Pieck. “Dawn of the dead, that’s one hell of a book. Some people just like to get in touch with their dark side. Not all of us believe in love.”

“Through literature?” Pieck replied, feeling herself burn and blush from the physical contact.

“Nothing wrong with exploring one’s dark side and sexuality through words. I do it all the time.” The stranger laughed back, fixing their glasses, before leaning in to Pieck. “You’ve never done the same?”

“You’re a writer?” Pieck asked, turning around so her and the stranger’s lips were practically hovering over one another. “I work in literature, and I aspire to be one.”

“Maybe I could help you.” The stranger replied, as their fingers, which were stone cold, began slowly rubbing Pieck’s lips. She could feel her body light with fire from the soft touch. She noted the variety of rings of the stranger’s hands, it looked old, antique and practically stuck of wealth.

Pieck never got a chance to reply back, since the pair were interrupted by the sound of someone rushing towards them.

“Angeh!” A voice called out. Pieck turned around to see Zeke walking towards them, already dressed for his whatever role he had next. He froze when he saw Pieck, and for a brief second, Pieck saw a flash of emotion gloss over his eye. Was it fear? Shock? Anger? She couldn’t tell.

“Ah, Pieck.” He smiled, clearly aware of something she wasn’t. “I see you’ve met my friend Angeh.”

“Angeh?” Pieck questioned, turning around to face them. “That’s a strange name.”

“It’s an old rare family name darling.” They replied, winking at her. “Say, I’d love to meet you again sometime.”

“I’ll give you her number, anyways Angeh, we should probably go now. Let me check that book out for you Pieck.” Zeke remarked, dragging Angeh and quickly checking the book out for her. Something was being hidden, but Pieck couldn’t tell what.

Zeke handed the book over to Pieck, and bid her goodbye. Angeh shot her a wink and the pair began talking, or rather arguing, quietly, as soon as Pieck was out of earshot.

Pieck made her way out with her book, and briefly looked at herself in the large mirror, noticing how tired she looked. Surprisingly, she couldn’t see Zeke or Angeh in the background, so she had assumed they left.

She didn’t understand why she could still hear them talking behind her, however.

————-

Angeh and Pieck had developed an.... interesting relationship to say the least. Angeh began teaching Pieck about how to write horror stories, while Pieck taught them the beauty of romance literature. They were polar opposites, yet seemed to work so well. While Angeh was hot, Pieck was cold. While Angeh was witty, Pieck was dry. While Angeh loved the dark side, Pieck saw colour.

For the next month, the pair developed a tentative friendship, spending as much time together, and even going on a few dates. To no-one’s surprise, they slowly began a romantic relationship, with the word relationship being used loosely.

Pieck noticed how Angeh hated daylight, rarely touched her and despite being official lovers, they never had any physical contact. Pieck usually pinned it on Angeh being eccentric and reserved, but it did get to Pieck, and began feeling like there was something wrong with her. Usually, Pieck would be the one her friends would go to for advice, and on the rare occasion she wanted to speak to someone, she’d usually go to Annie, Marcel or Jean, but she couldn’t get in touch with all 3, which meant that she was forced to seek romantic advice from the worst possible source available.

“Porco?”

“‘Sup?” He replied, putting his book down and giving her an inquisitive look. “Is everything alright?”

“I just wanted to ask you something, related to Angeh.” She whispered, clearly embarrassed about asking something so private to a man who barely understood emotions. “I don’t think they’re into me.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Porco began, ruffling Pieck’s hair. “They’re fucking weird but they most definitely have a thing for you. They’re always staring at you like you owe them money, it’s creeps the hell out of me.”

“Yeah but, they don’t want to touch me at all.” Pieck muttered back, turning away as to not see Porco’s concerned, and confused, look. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me?”

Pieck expected a dry remark from Porco, maybe a dark chuckle, or maybe just a stupid point to come out of his mouth. What she wasn’t expecting, however, was for Porco to look at her solemnly, and to lean forward to her, placing his hand above hers and looking her deep in the eye. Strange, Pieck thought. Why was Porco’s hand so fucking cold?

“You’ve gotta make peace with things. Go talk to them.” He muttered, before turning his attention back to his book.

______________________________________________________________

Pieck walked towards the small library where Angeh and her usually had their dates. For the first time since she moved here, it was raining, raining so hard that Pieck genuinely couldn’t see anything before her. She didn’t know why, but she always hated the rain. It just made her nauseous.

She walked into the library and deep inside the quiet and empty building, was Angeh, reading their horror stories with a rather enthusiastic expression on their face. Upon noticing Pieck, they put the book down and walked over to her, brushing the wet hair out of her face. “Is everything alright?” They asked, noticing Pieck’s forlorn expression.

“Yeah, I just-“ She began, wondering if she was being a tad dramatic, “I just wanted to know if everything was alright between us. Sometimes I feel like you’re not really into me, you know?”

“Oh darling.” They whispered, “I wish you’d come to me before.”

Angeh began to pepper Pieck’s face with butterfly kisses, while their ice cold hands roamed around her body, tentatively removing any article of clothing they could find, until Pieck was left in her laced black panties. “No bra?” Angeh laughed, their lips now attaching themselves to Pieck’s neck, leading her to arch her back.

“I find it so restrictive.” Pieck muttered, her petite hands tangling themselves in Angeh’s hair. She screamed a little when Angeh bit down on Pieck’s neck, leading to a small trickle of blood to fall out, which Angeh quickly licked.

Angeh never replied back to Pieck’s response, instead continuing to explore every inch of Pieck’s skin with their mouth. The sensation made Pieck’s skin burn with desire, every time she felt Angeh’s ice cold lips or fingers touch her she swore she could see an array of stars, and hearing Angeh softly whisper her name felt like she was being called by the heavens themselves.

Angeh’s mouth hovered over Pieck’s firm breasts, and they briefly raised their head to meet Pieck’s dazed eyes, which were swimming in delight and love. Angeh shot Pieck a wink before latching her lips over Pieck’s breast, sucking like a man starved on an island, their tongue flickering over her nipple in an erotic dance. “Angeh-“

“Quiet, I didn’t allow you to speak now, did I?” Angeh ordered, slapping Pieck’s thigh as a punishment.

Pieck instantly shut her mouth, only mumbling a “I’m sorry sir, ma’am, fuck.”

“Good girl.” Angeh cooed, placing their hands on each of Pieck’s legs and slowly opening them. Pieck noticed that Angeh’s hands suddenly felt warm, a stark contrast to their usual icy touch, but as a result of her pleasure infused brain, she put it down to it being cause of their increased physical contact.

Angeh slowly removed Pieck’s panties, and began placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of her thighs, while their fingers continued to rub on both of Pieck’s nipples. Angeh gave a dark chuckle on noticing just how wet Pieck was, and gave her clit a firm slap, leading to a rather large moan from the petite dark haired beauty.

“How pathetic.” Angeh began, their fingers now rubbing over Pieck’s entrance. “I’ve barely done anything and here you are, absolutely dripping for me like a little whore?” Angeh continued their taunt by slowly placing a finger inside Pieck, followed by another one, leading to Pieck let out a muffled groan, which was quickly silenced by Angeh’s other hand slipping into her mouth.

Angeh’s fingers began moving at a rapid speed, grazing above that oh so sweet spot inside her, and just when she felt like she was on the verge of exploding in pure pleasure, Angeh removed their hand and quickly placed it with their own mouth.

Pieck was gliding through heaven, she was certain of it.

Angeh’s mouth lapped over Pieck’s now swollen clit, spitting on messily on her cunt while shoving their face inbetween Pieck’s legs, all the while swallowing all her juices like they have never eaten anything in over 200 years. Their tongue was buried deep inside of her, and Pieck could have sworn she could see the actual entire universe in front of her, and she felt herself on the edge, so ready to explode in complete pleasure as she completely fell apart.

“Say my name.” Angeh ordered, their mouth still lapping hungrily over Pieck’s sore cunt.

“Angeh-“

“Hange.” They corrected her. “Call me Hange.”

So caught up in her own pleasure, Pieck didn’t realise she was lying there on a table in the middle of a public library, moaning out the name of a long dead writer, as she came undone all over Hange who rose their head from Pieck’s legs, completely covered in her juices.

It took Pieck a while to put two and two together, and as she slowly came down from her high, she realized that not only was Hange’s hands on fire, but Angeh’s name wasn’t even Angeh in the first place.

“Wait, fuck.” Pieck jumped up, throwing herself off Hange and covering herself up. “Why the hell did I call you Hange?”

“My love, surely you’re not that stupid. You knew all along who I was, right?” Hange smiled, placing their hand over hers. “You need to make peace with your ghost within and remember.”

Like a reel from an old 80s VHS video, Pieck began to vividly see everything. Her and Porco receiving their job offers, her and Porco driving to the small town, pouring rain, a flash of bright light, pain, oh God the pain.

Pieck began screaming, her body remembering the entire incident, God, why was there blood dripping down her face?

“It’s okay.” Hange whispered, “keep remembering, you’re so close.”

Her and Porco were drenched in blood, her family and the Galliards were torn, heartbroken over the loss, their souls, still intact, continued their journey to this town, and Zeke, Zeke? She remembered, wasn’t he Eren’s older brother? The one who died in that house fire? Wasn’t Porco’s brief girlfriend accidentally shot years ago? Her mind burnt with old memories coming back.

Erwin and Levi, the lovers who drowned over a decade ago, and Hange, who had been following Pieck this entire time. The first night, Hange was there, they hugged, they spoke, they laughed. Why did Pieck forget this?

“Hange,” Pieck began, the pain slowly leaving her body as the blood began to evaporate, “I’m beginning to remember.”

Hange held her closer, their hands stroking her hair as Pieck’s memory began coming back all at once.

Porco, she thought. He found out the truth. Did Zeke tell him? Hange? Levi? She wondered, her mind now racing as she felt her skin become ice cold to the touch.

And Hange, Hange told them who they were at the library at day. Pieck was shocked, but Hange told her the truth, that they were a horror writer who was murdered over 200 years ago. Why did Pieck block that out? Why did her mind resort to calling them Angeh?

“Pieck,” Hange mumbled, placing their hands on Pieck’s face. “You’ve done it, you’ve remembered. You’re one of us.”

“What will happen to me now?” Pieck asked, suddenly feeling a sense of intense dread.

“Nothing. You’re just stuck here with the rest of us undead, doomed to wonder around here in this town until the end of time. I’ve been going on for over 200 years.” Hange laughed, placing a small kiss on Pieck’s head.

Pieck, realizing where she was, and who she was, began to slowly relax, sinking her face into Hange’s shoulder, gently crying, lamenting the loss of her life. It was over, she thought.

“It’s just us now, Pieck, for the rest of eternity.” Hange whispered, wiping the tears off Pieck’s face.

“Just us and our ghosts within.”

#pieck finger #snk fanfiction #hange zoe #pikuhan #aot smut #snk smut #aot fanfiction #Pieck

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Hey:) have you read the ATLA comic Love is a Battlefield? I'd love to hear your thoughts on it !

The comic makes me seriously wonder what the person who okayed it was drinking.

For one, it’s the single best demonstration anyone might need that the conflict the ship is based on isn’t one you want to have in your romance under any circumstances—that between a girl who’s just not that into a guy and said guy who won’t take no for an answer.

It single-handedly validates every anti-cataanger out there—Aang’s portrayed as entitled, selfish, and utterly delusional about his relationship with Katara who is supposed to have no voice in it and quietly conform to his idea of her and their bond instead of functioning as a separate being with her own wants and notions.

But let’s bring the receipts, shall we?

So the story begins innocuously enough, with Aang drawing the air and water symbols in the sand and adding a heart around them. Cute and innocent so far, I like. Katara appears, acting as though she wants to talk to him, and Aang concludes it’s about the invasion kiss. Why would he think that is beyond me but let’s roll with it. But instead of delving into that particular can of worms, Katara splashes Aang with some water in an attempt to get him to practice.

He doesn’t take it well.

Notice the bold “finally”. What this says to me is that in Aang’s mind, it’s Katara’s job to come to him and report as his girlfriend, just by virtue of being kissed, and it’s been mighty upsetting to him that she “failed” to do so.

After all, consider The Ember Island Players:

“We kissed at the Invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together.”

Aang doing a thing means that Aang & Katara did a thing mutually.

In his view, he isn’t supposed to be the one who approaches her and explains why he saw fit to plant one on her; who opens up about his feelings and initiates a frank conversation. No, that was a claiming kiss at the invasion and Katara can only acknowledge it as such and reciprocate.

Our Every RomCom Guy Ever doesn’t realize that Katara not talking to him about it is the answer to where they stand.

This is the third time in as many pages, btw, that Katara tries to get Aang to practice. And for a good reason because we’re a short while removed from The Western Air Temple where he yet again refused to face up to an unpleasant truth and instead had to be literally chased around like an unruly child. Katara’s fully in a sifu mode here, not even perceiving the opportunity to talk about their relationship. And if an assertive fourteen-year old doesn’t think to talk about her second ever kiss with the guy who gave it to her, that should tell you all you need to know about how much she appreciated it.

Aand that’s fourth time. Katara really seems to think that taking down this Fire Lord dude is important or something and that Aang is once again failing to prepare for it. Look, she even has a nickname for it at this point. Yet for some reason, Nice Guy Aang reframes the situation—WHILE HIDING IN A LITERAL ROCK—as a role reversal where it’s Katara running away from confrontation and having to face the truth, even though he revealed in this very scene that he didn’t think it was his job to be open about his feelings with the girl he believes he loves.

At last, Katara realizes Aang’s hinting at the invasion kiss and reacts like any girl who’s harbouring a secret crush would—by visibly cringing and pretending she doesn’t know what he’s talking about and the wind’s really strong for her to hear what he’s saying anyway so maybe it’d be a good idea for Aang to come out and practice? (fifth time)

Finally, supreme gentleman Aang does the one thing he’s not supposed to do—he loses control and depending on how charitable you are either puts Katara in harm’s way (by firebending, weird how that keeps happening), or outright assaults her in blind rage.

Luckily, Katara’s just glad that Zuko’s training is yielding results and maybe the world won’t end in an Ozai-induced inferno by the end of the summer.

Scorned LoverBoi couldn’t give less of a shit, though.

And there you have it, explicitly in the text. Katara, despite showing no signs of attraction and not encouraging Aang’s advances in any way, is perceived by him as someone who’s cruelly toying with his feelings—simply because her reactions don’t conform to what he wants them to be. The relationship is utterly about him and it’s so mean of Katara that she doesn’t feel like playing the demure cut-out in his hero-gets-the-girl routine.

Let’s not mince words, this is some prime incel logic Aang’s operating on.

And the creators don’t seem to realize this. Which is why they never challenge him on his behaviour in the show, reward it in the finale, and go on reaffirming it in every single post-canon material there is.

And I find it sort of infuriatingly hilarious that someone not only conceived of the ship this way, but thought it was a good idea to present it to the world as a basic vanilla romance.

Which makes me wonder.

Because as strange as this might sound, there is a universe where this story is not only perfectly okay, but absolutely crucial to the overall narrative.

That is if the show actually followed up on The Guru and culminated in Aang letting go of Katara to unlock the Avatar state.

From start to finish, the comic proves Pathik completely and utterly right—what Aang feels for Katara isn’t selfless love, it’s selfish attachment. But instead of it being cloaked in vague religious language, we see it manifest in a painfully tangible way. The story’s kinda unintentionally brilliant if you read it like this—it’s show to Pathik’s tell. Aang is too wrapped up in what he feels to see the signs and runs away from having to acknowledge the painful reality that’s clearly evident, i.e. that Katara doesn’t love him. And because he’s so invested in his delusions, he blows up whenever challenged on them, acting on entitlement and baseless expectations and going so far as to slowly kill the beautiful relationship they actually do have—a lifelong bromance.

If this story foreshadowed that Aang needed to let go of his attachment not only to save the world, but to even keep Katara in his life, I’d be fully on board.

But for that to happen, the creators would have to take a step back, start considering perspectives beyond Aang’s, and stop treating him like an infallible bringer of truths who deserves human prizes just for doing his job.

And if they were able to do that then we wouldn’t be here in the first place.

#aang critical #ask #love is a battlefield #anti-aang #anti-kataang

[batmansymbol]

hi riley! read this recently and would love to get ur perspective on this as a YA author https://tinyletter.com/misshelved/letters/did-twitter-break-ya-misshelved-6

hi anon! yeah, i read this the day it was posted. thoughts/supplementary essay below.

firstly, i'd put a big "I AGREE" stamp across this essay. i think it's well-cited and thoughtful, and i agree with pretty much everything in it. i especially appreciate it for introducing me to the terms "context collapse" and "morally motivated networked harassment" - seeing internet sociology studied and labeled is ... odd, but useful.

i left twitter in 2017, but i keep an eye on things, which seem similar now to the way they were four years ago. the essay describes the never-ending scrutiny, the need to seem perfect, and the pressure on writers to out themselves. all of that is spot-on. twitter is an outing machine. there is so much harassment and anger on the platform that in serious conversations, good-faith engagement becomes something that must be earned, rather than something that's expected. and in order to earn good faith, strangers expect you to offer up an all-access pass to who you are. otherwise, things might take a swift left turn into verbal abuse.

obviously twitter is a cesspit of harassment from racist, homophobic, and transphobic people, but i think the most painful harassment comes from within the community. i, and most people i know, wouldn't give a single minuscule little fuck if ben shapiro's entire army of ghouls came after us and told us we were destroying the sacred values of Old America or whatever. but the community at large does care about issues of racial justice and queer liberation and economic justice. which is why it's painful to see this supposed "community" eating its own over and over again.

how cruel can we be to people and pretend that we are their friends? that's the emotional crux of the essay to me. what we're doing to ourselves - people who do share our values and want to achieve the same goals - because this one platform is built on rewarding the quickest, most brutal, and most public response.

god forbid you don't have your identity figured out. god forbid you have an invisible disability, or are writing a story about something sensitive you've personally experienced but had an off-consensus reaction to. on twitter, if you are not a paragon of absolute and immediate clarity, you may as well be lower than dirt morally, because you're unable to do what the platform requires of you: air every private corner of your identity, up to and including your trauma, to justify not only your everyday actions and opinions but also your art.

(this is all honestly incompatible with interesting art, but i'll get to that in a bit.)

it doesn't take a genius to see how troubling this environment is when combined with twitter as a marketing tool. i remember that around the time of my debut, i'd tweet out threads of private, painful, personal stuff, which felt terrible to recount, but i'd watch the like count increase with this sense of catholic, confessional satisfaction. all of this was tied to the idea of my potential salability as a writer.

i was around 21 at the time. i felt a lot of pressure as a debut. i wanted people to like me and think i was exceptionally mature and confident. i wanted to do my job and build buzz for my book. i saw that all these publishing professionals and authors spent day in, day out angry and exhausted on twitter. every few days, a new person fifteen years older than me would say, "i can't take this anymore, i'm so fucking tired of this, i'm logging off for a while." i thought, well, this must be how online activism feels: like running on a sprained ankle.

i can still remember book after book after book that inspired blow-ups, big explanations, and simmering resentment: carve the mark (whose author was forced to admit that she suffered chronic pain after relentless criticism of that element), the black witch (a book explicitly about unlearning racism that was criticized for depicting ... racism), ramona blue (a book about a bi girl who thinks she's a lesbian but winds up in an m/f relationship, because she's still discovering her identity) ... etc

each book, each incident, followed the same pattern. firestorms of anger, a decision of where to place blame, the desperate need for a single consensus opinion in the community. i think a lot of people on book twitter see these as bugs inherent to the platform, but really, in twitter's eyes, they're features. the angrier and more upset twitter's userbase is, the more reliant they are on the platform.

i wound up leaving around the time i realized that not only was twitter making me anxious - NOT being on twitter was beginning to make me anxious, because of vaguely dread-infused tweets all around like "i'm seeing an awful lot of people who are staying silent about X. ... why are so many people who are so loud about X so silent about Y?" etc.

that shit is beyond poisonous. people will not always be logged on. the absence of someone's agreement does not mean disagreement. actually, someone's absence is not inherently meaningful, because it is the internet and silence is everyone's default position; internet silence in all likelihood means that that person is out in the universe doing other things.

this is already a ridiculously long response, so i'll try to wrap up. firstly, i think that progressive writers and readers have GOT to stop thinking that a correct consensus opinion can exist on every piece of fiction, and on every issue in general, and that if someone diverges from that consensus, they're incorrectly progressive.

secondly, i think that progressive writers and readers have got to uncouple the idea of a "book with good politics" from a good book, because 1) there are books about morally grimy, despicable subjects that help us process the landscape of human behavior, and

2) if, in your fiction, there is only one set of allowed responses for your protagonist, you will write the same person over and over and over again. you see this a lot in religious fiction. the person is not a human being but an expression of the creator's moral alignment. (not entirely surprising that this similarity to religious correctness might crop up with the current state of the movement. i read this piece around the time i left twitter and it shook me really, really deeply.)

i understand that in YA, there's a sensation of immense pressure because people want to model good politics and correct behavior for kids. this is a noble idea - and maybe twitter is great for people who want to be role models. but i've become more and more staunchly against the idea of artist as role model. the role of the writer is not to be emulated but to write fiction. and the role of fiction is not to read like something delivered from a soapbox, or to display some scrubbed-clean universe where each wrong is immediately identified as a wrong, and where total morality is always glowing in the backdrop. it's to put something human on paper, and as human beings, we might aspire to total morality, but we fall short again and again. honestly, that's what being on twitter showed me more clearly than anything.

#reply #ya lit #personal #the discourse tm #essay

[somesaycosmo]

laurence, the first vicar - an analysis

hi! this is future marie, when i'm going back through and finalizing my draft of this post. this was originally meant to just be an analysis of laurence's song, but it turned into more than that, so just bear with it!

"oh look it's my favorite boss soundtrack in soulsborne! thankfully, bloodborne is a very simple game with straightforward lore, and the lyrics of its tracks are similarly straightforward, so there's not much to analyze here." -a quote from an alternate universe marie who was blessed with a game that didn't give her frenzy

"bloodborne's tracks have lyrics?" you might ask - and yes, in fact, they do! many of them have choral lyrics in latin, including mr laurence "i forgot the sacred adage" lastname's track here.

before we start, please listen to the song, if only because it's very good

this post is using the translated lyrics from this bloodborne wiki, while taking some liberties with the interpretation based on the game's lore. i do not know latin, but if anyone does, i'd love for them to hit me up. i'm also going to specifically tag @rococospade-main, both to shout them out for being great to discuss bloodborne lore with (it's where i got the idea to write this post)

as always, lore starts below the line

so the song starts with 4 lines, as follows

Children, know that if you will abide by the sacred rite with great commitment There will be a reward through the Holy Blood You will be rewarded with the hidden Holy Blood Or, maybe I shall lose my humanity through the Holy Blood

already starting off strong with the "questioning one's faith" vibes, eh, larry?

"children" might be in reference to actual children, or it might be the thing priests do, where they're called "father" and stuff (can you tell i'm not christian?) with laurence in this case being the "father" and the disciples of the church being his "children"

the reward from the holy blood is, of course, ascension, which we all know everyone from byrgenwerth strived for, because they're losers. "hidden holy blood" might be in reference to ebrietas bein all locked up in the chalice dungeons?

"maybe i shall lose my humanity through the holy blood" is, based on how early it is in the song, likely about laurence looking forward; loss of humanity is seen as a good thing, because it means ascension. the dramatic irony of this is of course obvious, considering the song plays when we're beating the shit out of laurence's fallen and bestial form - because loss of humanity can also mean other things, it turns out.

We honor you with the Blood Yet you judge this as blasphemy You are obsessed with this mystery And you shall be overcome by bestiality

We honor you with the Blood Yet you judge this as blasphemy We are hindered by this mystery Water does not achieve success

now laurence is speaking to the gods instead of to his followers. "we honor you with blood / yet you judge this as blasphemy" is likely him pleading to the gods. the description of the defiled chalice reads, "Curses are caused by inciting the anger of the Great Ones, and used to hex others." this paints a picture of the gods as somewhat vengeful; it makes sense that the beastly scourge, then, would be hypothesized to be a plague cast upon humanity for some sin they've committed, and laurence would know best what exactly that sin is.

"you are obsessed with this mystery / and you shall be overcome by bestiality" seems out of place in the rest of this section, given it's the only one that refers to humanity as "you," but i've taken this as it being the gods replying to laurence in the song, with the mystery likely being "how to ascend to godhood". this is the blasphemy you have committed, they say, and you shall be overcome by bestiality

"we are hindered by this mystery" once again, we're talking from laurence's perspective. firstly, laurence for the first time admits that obsession with ascension might not be so great, actually.

"water does not achieve success" this could be interpreted as talking about the whole "great bodies of water are often bulwarks" thing discussed in the lake and sea runes, laurence sort of saying "protecting ourselves from the truth does nothing to help us ascend," with water, effectively, being "safety." to go further, in my personal interpretation, this is more about the comparison of blood and water. you know that old saying, "blood is thicker than water"? that came to mind immediately while reading these lyrics, given the constant talking about blood in the song (and in the game). perhaps here laurence is comparing water to blood with water, water being "safety" and blood being "success" (ascension). to reference the item description for the white church set, "They believe that medicine is not a means of treatment but rather a method for research, and that some knowledge can only be obtained by exposing oneself to sickness." this will come up later.

By the Gods, friend Be afraid By the Gods, friend The Blood Be afraid You are right to

this is familiar! this could be willem speaking, this could be laurence speaking to someone else, or this could be laurence speaking to himself (my writer's brain imagines him muttering this quietly to himself in despair as his mental health and questioning of his faith declines) - due to "you are right to [fear the blood]," i lean towards him talking to himself as if talking to willem, perhaps wishing he had actually feared the old blood, or saying that willem is better off for doing so. regardless, it is incredibly reminiscent of the sacred adage ("fear the old blood" etc etc we all know it by heart at this point), and is likely supposed to be that.

It will be a majestic festivity By the Holy Blood So come, this sweet wine O defiled juice (this has to mean "wine" or "drink" i refuse to believe laurence would refer to the holy blood as a juice. i will not allow it)

this one, oddly, seems to indicate a toneshift - i would argue it's a result of his spiraling mental state. throughout the song he's questioning his faith and his actions, chanting his old mentor's sacred adage to himself; his life up to this point is a life of success while the cure and path to ascension he was peddling to yharnam turns them into horrific beasts. so he ends up doubling down on the religious fervor he started this endeavor with. this delves more into headcanon territory, so bear with me for a second:

have you ever thought about why laurence drops the beast's embrace rune?

laurence, the first vicar, the first cleric beast, drops the rune that allows you to enter a state of controlled beasthood whenever you want (provided you use a beastly weapon, of course). isn't that odd? shouldn't he drop something that, like, increases the amount blood vials heal you? maybe super duper extra special communion +6? why would he drop that rune, of all things, especially when the game already has a named character they could've put in to drop it (that being irreverent izzy)?

let's look at the item description.

After the repeated experiments in controlling the scourge of beasts, the gentle "Embrace" rune was discovered.

When its implementation failed, the "Embrace" became a forbidden rune, but this knowledge became a foundation of the Healing Church.

now i am not necessarily going to suggest that laurence dreamed up the beast's embrace rune himself - it could make sense, but that isn't necessary for the rest of what i'm about to say, which is this: the last part of the song is laurence giving into beasthood voluntarily.

perhaps he believed so strongly in the blood of ebrietas taking him to ascension that he decided beasthood must be it, must be the next step for humanity; perhaps, in a final move of desperation, he tried to control beasthood by experimenting on himself with this rune; or perhaps he had already imbibed so much of the old blood that he couldn't control his need to spill the blood of others.

personally, i lean toward the second interpretation. let's look at the description of laurence's (human) skull:

Skull of Laurence, first vicar of the Healing Church. In reality he became the first cleric beast, and his human skull only exists within the Nightmare.

The skull is a symbol of Laurence's past, and what he failed to protect. He is destined to seek his skull, but even if he found it, it could never restore his memories.

firstly, i'd just like to point out the irony in the statement "he is destined to seek his skull"; he spends his human life seeking ascension, and when he achieves metamorphosis, he is cursed to spend that form trying to find his humanity again, mindless, lost in a nightmare.

secondly, and more to the point, let's look at the line "a symbol of laurence's past, and what he failed to protect." examining this item for its symbolism is fairly clear - it's a relic of laurence's humanity, and that's exactly what he failed to protect, the humanity of himself and others. this description leads me to believe he wanted to protect humanity, but failed.

a lot of interpretations of him have him as this truly evil person who was just deceiving the city of yharnam for his own personal gain, but honestly, i don't buy that. that's not what bloodborne is about. i mean bloodborne is and can be about a lot of things, and i could ascribe dozens of basic thematic interpretations of it off the top of my head, but characterization that simple doesn't fit bloodborne (and, frankly, it's not tragic enough for miyazaki).

so, with all that combined, why do i believe that laurence branded himself with beast's embrace in an attempt to further research on the control of beasthood, so as to protect humanity? well, to go back to an item description from earlier, some knowledge can only be obtained by exposing oneself to sickness.

thank you for reading.

#bloodborne #bloodborne lore #laurence the first vicar #that one post that's like catholicism is problematic but catholicism is sexy #song analysis?? i guess?? #lore analysis definitely

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Bit random but what's your take on Aslan? If you've read Narnia which I think you said you did. Curious bc he always reminded me a lot of Albus Dumbledore

I’m glad you asked. 

Because as a child I always thought he was supposed to be God. It wasn’t until I re-read the books when I was older (around the point that the films were coming out) that I realized all of the Jesus parallels like him coming back to life, and caught the references to the Emperor-Beyond-The-Sea. So yeah, he’s totally meant to be Jesus, and that’s all well and good. But for the purposes of Narnia itself, he may as well be God. Much like how the subjects of a kingdom may answer to their monarch above all else, but aren’t very likely to ever encounter them, instead receiving their commands from their liege lord. The Narnians may not even realize that the Emperor exists. To them, Aslan is basically God. 

As far as his character goes, I like him, and he almost reminds me of Gandalf or the The Doctor in the sense that he is an eccentric and mysterious figure who comes and goes, yet always saves the day and walks with an authority among the common people. But C.S. Lewis made the books very religious, and nowhere is that more apparent than with Aslan. Hell, it’s not even him, it’s how the other characters revere him. I’ll never forget how Puddleglum insists upon setting Rillian free for no other reason than because he gave the fourth sign. (Which was, friendly reminder, to swear in Aslan’s name) and they were told to follow the fourth sign without question. They weren’t told what would happen if they did, but that it was paramount they follow it. So Puddleglum, Eustace and Jill set Rillian free, not knowing if he’ll attack them and accepting it as a possibility...because Aslan commanded them to. 

To me, that’s what sums up Aslan’s awkward religious undertones. The heroes are expected to show blind faith and obedience, and are rewarded when they don’t stray. It’s never about doing the right thing, it’s about staying true to Aslan, because as far as these books and characters are concerned, Aslan himself is synonymous with what is right, even though “right” can be subjective, you won’t see that mindset here. Aslan represents a very specific set of moral values that are treated as the right ones, and chief among them is staying true to God. I’ll likewise never forget the “redemption” of Emeth, who was loyal to Tash, except “not really” because he was always trying to do the right thing. Because of this, Aslan tells Emeth that he was really serving Aslan all along, because to do something cruel is to serve Tash, but to do good is to serve Aslan. It’s pretty much canon that they’re meant to be embodiments of good and evil, but the arrogance of Aslan deciding that Emeth was “never” loyal to Tash even though he clearly was...it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 

And don’t even get me started on Susan Pevensie. Too late, we’re gonna talk about this. She gets barred from Narnia and Aslan’s country, is left the sole survivor of the train crash, because...she is no longer a friend of Narnia? And how is that? Because she stopped believing? Lost faith? Or was it because she was more focused on “nylons and lipstick?” I can’t help but notice that Susan forgetting Narnia coincided with her implied discovery of sexuality. It wouldn’t be outside the pattern of these problematic religious undertones to punish a woman for sex out of wedlock. But setting all that aside...it breaks my heart to hear Lucy of all people act like Susan is the one with the problem, but of course, we cannot question Aslan. Well I’m going to: Hey pal, whatever happened to “Once a King or Queen in Narnia, always a King or Queen in Narnia?” Weren’t you the one who told Susan she was too old for Narnia, that she could never come back? What the hell is she supposed to do? Susan The Gentle deserved better. She didn’t turn her back on Narnia, Narnia turned its back on her. 

Or to be more precise, Aslan did. Just like he turns his back on all of Narnia at the end of the series, and leaves it to die. That’s literally how the series ends, and you know that’s on purpose because it’s depicting the Second Coming of Christ. Where those who haven’t sinned get to go to Heaven, aka Aslan’s Country. The Narnians have been corrupted by Tash, so they’re not worth saving I guess. Why is it that Edmund was redeemable after being hoodwinked by a false ruler, but the people bewitched by Tash don’t get that same mercy? Why is it that Edmund gets to return to Narnia again if Susan’s actions warrant her being expelled? The books retell the story of Eden by testing Diggory’s loyalty and obedience to Aslan, someone he just met, by tempting him with the chance to cure his ailing mother. He only gets the reward if he stays true. Because I guess a child stealing one apple that nobody would miss for the sake of his family would be sinful. Seriously, Aslan is supposed to be the ultimate force for good, but no one is ever allowed to question this. To challenge Aslan is to challenge what is right, because this is his world and he makes the rules.

So in other words, he really is a lot like Dumbledore and I’m so glad you made that comparison. Dumbledore isn’t literally a deity in the ways that Aslan is, like how he started Narnia. But the way the other characters follow his word without question is definitely unsettling and it bears resemblance to the socially expected obedience and reverence that everyone has for Aslan. The fact that the magical community all want Dumbledore to be Minister despite him being completely unqualified, the fact that he’s been flat out offered the job three times...is terrifying. People who question him are almost always villains, or otherwise wrong for doing do. Sure, this does get somewhat deconstructed in Deathly Hallows, in a way that never happens for Aslan...but the level of influence Dumbledore has over the community is creepy, and all things considered, he was still considered a good person by the end. Flawed, but good. Yeah, no. He was despicable and though Narnia has a different morality, I’m inclined to say Aslan was too. 

God it’s been years since I really bit into this series. I miss it. 

#The Chronicles of Narnia #Aslan #Susan Pevensie #Puddleglum #Albus Dumbledore #The Silver Chair #The Last Battle #The Magician's Nephew #digory kirke

[neeterloveschenford]

Thoughts on RNM 3x10

Well here we are a day late and a dollar short (they’re killing me having to go in early on Wednesdays). But my lord were we blessed this week! I mean blessed and highly favored!! I can’t believe we are basically watching fanfic come to life. It’s amazing how much goodness we are getting. This is our reward for surviving last season. But I digress. Let’s talk about the best episode of this season! Let’s dive in.

Why you gotta step on Hufflepuff, Heath? Don’t you have any idea how amazing Hufflepuff is? SImmer down son.

I agree with Liz. I dislike the Longhorn tattoo too. (I am from Oklahoma afterall.) But I will not be upset seeing Max naked. He may annoy me most days, but he is a pretty pretty man. And I like how sweet he is with Liz here lately. Apparently this brush with death is making him appreciate the magnificent woman in his life. Growth. It’s a good thing. He’ll probably never completely win me over, but the more naked he is the better. (I’m a simple woman.)

Michael feeding his man! I loved this scene. I love how he just wants to take care of Alex. And I love how Alex wanted more kisses, but Michael had to show off his intelligence. Can’t have the bae thinking we’re not brilliant can we. Alex looked so put out! It was great.

So Anaste and Isobel are cute. Not gonna lie. But it’s too late for me to become invested in them this season. I think she’s just this year’s Forrest to be honest. And there is no way that they are not setting up Kybel. Just the utter joy they have in spending time together. I love them.The way Kyle looked at Isobel when she talked about helping people reminds me of the way that Alex and Max look at Michael and Liz. So I cannot see how they cannot be cosmic. And the way they support each other is fabulous. I think they will have the sweetest love story because it’s not going to be falling super hard super fast. I think Kyle is already starting to realize that he has feelings for Iz. And I think Iz will have a moment like Kyle did last season when Iz propositioned him. She’s going to pursue this relationship with Anaste, then realize she has feelings for Kyle. I can’t wait.

Dallas inadvertently teaching Isobel not to violate people’s minds makes him ok in my book. I like him. I still think Heath’s pretty boring, but we can keep Dallas. I mean, Malex’ll need someone to marry them, why not an alien preacher? And I love the fact that we are seeing him interact with Michael first. Poor Michael is probably the worst choice to stall for time. I just love seeing him try to come up with reasons why he shouldn’t leave.

Sassy Max is funny. Of course he would call it a lightsaber. Makes me wonder if he is an actual Star Wars fan, or if he’s just calling it that because that’s what Michael called the sword.

I’m thinking that we’ve had another instance of things that happen off screen. Kyle was obviously not happy to see Heath. Someone has to have told him that they think Heath was the one who attacked him. Heath had the alien mask on when we saw him, so he wouldn’t have seen his face, and the only other time we’ve seen them iAnd nteract was at Liz’s when Kyle was rubbing the vapor rub on Liz’s chest. Not the type of interaction that would make Kyle freak and lunge for his phone.

I love you Jones, but you need to keep your hands off my Kyle. He’s been through enough! Let my son go!! Also, can’t Liz find a better place to keep her bag of notes? And I’m about done with the sheriff lady. How dare! Arresting sweet Kyle. But look at him trying to protect Isobel! They’re not setting up Kybel at all! Nope.

Seriously Isobel, floating a giant smiley face is not the best way to calm someone down. She’s trying though. I love her no matter what. And Michael baby when will you listen to Alex. He’s the only one who knows how to keep his cool under pressure. Poor Dallas running away.

I love how this confrontation between Malex went compared to the last one they had in Michael’s bunker. They could so easily go down the same path they’ve always taken when they disagree. But they are committed to working things out. They are going to be such a strong couple. I am so excited to see them grow! And Michael listened!!! I’m just so proud of them. They have made so much progress!!

Another Kybel moment! They are going to make me scream if they don’t follow through with this! And you have ice powers was hilarious!!

This was a nice little Echo moment. They are not my favorite. But it was nice to see the hope blossom in Max. I don’t think he’s thought that they would find their way back to each other. So it was nice to see Liz admit that she still loves him. He has something to live for again. Good for you Max.

I still think Heath’s pretty boring. I liked the conversation with Michael and Dallas. They really bonded over their crappy childhoods. I want to see them have a great friendship. I like that they are so similar but have chosen such different paths.

Dear Liz, please learn Jones’ mannerisms. It’s really obvious to anyone that pays attention. That way you won’t have to kiss a megalomaniacal dictator next time.

I like how Kyle says he doesn’t like Max but he still wants to save him. I also really like Theo. I wouldn’t be opposed to a flashback with him in it. I’d really like to learn more about the Triad. Where does that leave Max? Did they look for Dallas back in 1947? So many questions. So many that won’t be answered. So if this equation can make Jones’ reign everlasting, does this mean that Max’s body is immortal?

Never thought I’d feel bad for that sheriff. Maybe she’s going to be like OG Valenti and end up being an ally. Or Isobel will mind scape her. I guess we’ll find out.

Kyle looks so forlorn. And Dallas picked the wrong person to tell that he might have to kill Max. I don't’ care how much smack Kyle talks, he will never let someone kill any of the pod squad. He’s just that good. I also think that the equation in the alien symbols will be something that Alex will figure out. In the OG series, Alex figured out how to translate their language. So I definitely think one of the world’s best hackers could figure it out.

And now we’re getting to the good stuff. This scene was everything I have ever wanted for these two. It was soft, sweet, loving, sexy, and hopeful. They are both so all in with this relationship. I always knew that the moment they were both on the same page, then that would be it. There is no turning back for either one of them. And the fact that they brought back cosmic and the song was chef's kiss! Alex’s face when Michael told him he was home was so emotional. They just love each other so very very much. I have cried every single time I have watched that scene. People at work the next day wanted to know why I was smiling so much. I just can’t believe that we are living in the age of Malex. And the chest kiss. But seriously, can we not let these boys have sex in a real bed? Trust me, things start to hurt after you hit 30. Their backs are not going to like them much longer if they keep this up!

So nitpicky time. There were only two small things that annoyed me in this episode. First was Dallas saying that the Lockhart machine had haunted him for 25 years. If he was 7 when he came out of the pod like the pod squad were, then they would all be 32 now. That adds on at least a year from where we are supposed to be in the timeline. Also, did Michael live with two religious nutcase families? Cause he said he was 9 when he was burned at his exorcism. But he showed Max fresh burns when they were around 13 in the season 1 flashback. I know time means nothing on this show, but if I can remember these things, surely someone on the show should be able to.

Anyhoo, that’s all I’ve got this week. I am now going to go have a small breakdown again about Malex. Hope everyone has a wonderful week! Till next time my lovelies!

#roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico s3 #s3 spoilers #it's only my opinion

[miserablesme]

The Les Miserables Changelog Part 6: 1987-1997 West End variations

Hello, everyone! This is the latest edition in my attempt to chronicle all of the musical and lyrical changes which the show Les Miserables has undergone over the years. This time, we're going through the production-specific differences between the official 1987-1997 libretto and the West End productions of the era.

Compared to American productions, the West End production was NOT afraid to improvise a little relative to what the books said. It was simultaneously willing to hold on to things the official libretto abandoned, and to add in details not done elsewhere. (Incidentally this reportedly was true with the staging as well as the lyrics, though this blog is focused on the latter.)

It’s worth noting that the show went through many iterations throughout the decade. For the sake of coherence I’m separating this post into each variant.

Oh, and because this entails many different versions of the musical, and most of these lyrical changes can be seen and discussed in other posts of my blog, this post will be significantly less thorough than most of mine regarding my thoughts on the changes. With all that cleared up, let us begin!

Circa 1987-1988 variant

During “On Parole”, the official lyrics of the innkeepers have since 1987 been:

My rooms are full

And I’ve no supper to spare

I’d like to help a stranger

All we want is to be fair

The West End production maintained the original version instead:

My rooms are full

And I’ve no supper to spare

I’d like to help you really

All I want is to be fair

"At the End of the Day" reverses a line. Officially Valjean usually sings:

What is this fighting all about?

Will someone tear these two apart?

Instead, the West End show has him ask:

Will someone tear these two apart?

What is this fighting all about?

The 1987 libretto had these (solo) lyrics to “The Runaway Cart”:

Don’t go near him, Monsieur Mayor

The load is as heavy as hell

The old man is a goner for sure

It will kill you as well

The West End version used the original ensemble sequence instead:

(INDIVIDUAL)

Don’t go near him, Monsieur Mayor

There’s nothing at all you can do

(ENSEMBLE)

The old man is a goner for sure

Leave him alone

“Who Am I?” still used the original “This innocent who bears my face” instead of “who wears my face”. It also still featured Valjean’s “You know where to find me!” declaration officially written out of the libretto.

Prior to "Master of the House", a customer still declares "Hell, what a wine" instead of the revised "God, what a wine".

In the “Waltz of Treachery”, Thenardier still asks “Have we done for your child what is best?” instead of the official post-Broadway line which changes “your child” to “her child”. Additionally, Valjean still sings "a friendlier sky" instead of "some friendlier sky".

Then, at the end of the number, at least some performances use a slightly different line from the norm. Usually Little Cosette asks:

Will there be children

And castles to see?

However, this era of the West End production used a version later borrowed by the Official Symphonic Soundtrack as well as the 1992 UK tour:

Will there be castles

And children to see?

I can’t help but wonder what this edit was supposed to accomplish. Is it supposed to show that Cosette is optimistic and innocent enough to prioritize castles over making friends?

The opening of "Look Down" interestingly used a middle ground between Gavroche's original and rewritten lines. Originally he declares:

This is my school, my high society

From St. Denis to St Michel

We live on crumbs of humble piety

Tough on the teeth, but what the hell?

If you're poor, if you're free

Follow me, follow me!

Officially in the 1987 libretto, he instead proclaims:

This is my school, my high society

Here in the slums of St Michel

We live on crumbs of humble piety

Tough on the teeth, but what the hell?

Think you're poor? Think you're free?

Follow me, follow me!

However, the West End production at the time has him sing:

This is my school, my high society

Here in the slums of St Michel

We live on crumbs of humble piety

Tough on the teeth, but what the hell?

If you're poor, if you're free

Follow me, follow me!

The revised opener combined with the original closing part! A fascinating combination in my book.

As in the original version, the Beggar Woman cries "You give 'em all the pox" instead of just "Give 'em all the pox".

The 1987 libretto featured the following exchange as an ensemble piece:

When's it gonna end?

When're we gonna live?

Something's gotta happen now or

Something's gotta give

However, the West End production used the original solo lines:

When's it gonna end?

When're we gonna live?

Something's gotta happen, dearie

Something's gotta give

Fortunately, the generic students' lines have been replaced with Marius and Enjolras as usual. However, the beggars' lines in between their dialogue is in its original form. Instead of the revised lines:

(BEGGARS)

See our children fed

Help us in our shame

Something for a crust of bread in Holy Jesus' name

(SOLO BEGGAR)

In the Lord's holy name

(BEGGARS)

In His name, in His name, in His name

The original ones are used:

(BEGGARS)

Something for a meal

Something for a doss

Something in the name of Him who died upon the cross

On the cross, come across

On the cross, come across, come across

"The Robbery" has mostly been adapted into its revised Broadway form, with one small difference. Instead of the following revised part of Thenardier's dialogue:

Save a life, spare a sou

God rewards all the good that you do

He instead sings the following:

Save a life, spare a sou

God will see all the good that you do

This is presumably a relic of the number's pre-Broadway form, in which Thenardier's plea includes the line:

How d'you do? Spare a sou

God will see all the good that you do

I kind of like this unique variant actually. It strikes me as a little more authentic regarding what an actual religious person would say. My experience is that the omniscience of God seems to be a higher priority in most devout Christians' minds than the ways he will reward them. Of course, Thenardier is just putting on an act and he himself prioritizes nothing before reward, so perhaps the standard lines make more sense.

For some inexplicable reason, Javert's "Why on earth did he run?" later in "The Robbery" is instead sung as "Why the hell did he run?" This feels extremely out-of-character; Javert is usually not one to use Biblical terms casually.

"Stars" mostly takes on its usual post-Broadway form, with one difference. Instead of singing:

He knows his way in the dark

But mine is the way of the Lord

And those who follow the path of the righteous shall have their reward

He removes the final conjunction, making the lyric:

He knows his way in the dark

But mine is the way of the Lord

Those who follow the path of the righteous shall have their reward

Ironically, I find the original "but" a little awkward while thinking the "and" is better when present! Not a huge deal though.

Enjolras' name continues not to be stated during the instrumentals before "Red and Black".

During "Red and Black", Grantaire still sings "We talk of battles to be won" instead of the slightly revised "You talk of battles to be won".

"The Attack on Rue Plumet" uses the slightly different original "to watch a cat and his father" line instead of the official "to see a cat and his father".

Then, at the climax of the number, instead of the revised sequence of lines:

You wait my girl, you'll rue this night

I'll make you scream, you'll scream alright!

Leave her to me, don't wait around

Make for the sewers, go underground

The original sequence was used:

Make for the sewers, don't wait around

Leave her to me, go underground

You wait my girl, you'll rue this night

I'll make you scream, you'll scream alright!

During "One Day More", Javert sings the original "One day more to revolution" instead of "One more day to revolution" as is standard.

In the opener to Act Two, Grantaire sings the pre-Broadway "Some will bark, some will bite" from the pre-Broadway show instead of the revised "Dogs will bark, fleas will bite".

After "Little People", Grantaire similarly keeps his original "Better far to die a schoolboy than a p'liceman and a spy instead of the post-Broadway "What's the difference? Die a schoolboy, die a p'liceman, die a spy".

The Second Attack retains a lot of pre-Broadway lines. Instead of this post-Broadway opening:

(ENJOLRAS)

How do we stand? Feuilly make your report

(FEUILLY)

We've guns enough but ammunition short

(MARIUS)

I will go into the street

There are bodies all around

Ammunition to be had

Lots of bullets to be found

The original one is used:

(ENJOLRAS)

How do we stand? Feuilly make your report

(FEUILLY)

We've guns enough but bullets running short

(MARIUS)

Let me go into the street

There are bodies all around

Ammunition to be had

Lots of bullets to be found

Then, instead of this post-Broadway sequence:

(ENJOLRAS)

I can't let you go, it's too much of a chance

(MARIUS)

And the same is true for any man here

(VALJEAN)

Let me go, he's no more than a boy

I am old, I have nothing to fear

The pre-Broadway one is used:

(ENJOLRAS)

I can't let you go, it's too much of a chance

(MARIUS)

And the same can be said for any man here

(VALJEAN)

Let me go in his place, he's no more than a boy

I am old and alone and have nothing to fear

The remainder of the scene is performed in its usual post-Broadway form.

The "Final Battle" number uses the more hectic original pace as opposed to the less wordy post-Broadway lyrics. Instead of these current lyrics:

(ENJOLRAS)

Let us die facing our foes

Make them bleed while they can

(COMBEFERRE)

Make them pay through the nose

(COURFEYRAC)

Make them pay for every man

A slight variation on the original lyrics is used:

(ENJOLRAS)

Come on my friends, though we stand here alone

Let us go to our deaths with our face to the foes

(COMBEFERRE)

Let 'em pay for each death with a death of their own

(COURFEYRAC)

If they get me, by God, they will pay through the nose

Notice how the line now uses "the foes" instead of the original "our foes". Everything else is consistent with the original sequence, though.

"Dog Eats Dog" is mostly the same as its post-Broadway revision. However, Thenardier still sings "Here's a little toy" instead of the revised "Here's another toy".

Additionally, after the number Thenardier still doesn't shout Valjean's name.

From this point onwards, the musical takes its standard post-Broadway form.

Circa 1988-1989 variant

This version is almost identical to the last, with a couple exceptions. During "Who Am I?" Valjean now sings the official "wears my face" line as opposed to the original "bears my face" lyric.

The post-"Waltz of Treachery" scene is now performed in its standard "children and castles" format instead of the "castles and children" variant.

"Stars" now borrows a line from its Australian version. Instead of "And so it has been, and so it is written", Javert now sings "And so it must be, for so it is written". Interestingly, though, the rest of the number is the same as it was in the 1987-1988 version of the West End show.

In "One Day More", Javert finally sings the post-Broadway "One more day to revolution" instead of "One day more to revolution".

Thenardier now shouts Valjean's name following "Dog Eats Dog", as was already the case in other productions.

Circa 1989-1991 variant

This version of the show is mostly a mix of the 1987-1989 variants as well as the official post-Broadway libretto, with a few unique variations added in. The innkeeper scene retains its pre-Broadway form, and "At the End of the Day" retains its swapped-lines variants.

"The Runaway Cart" now uses its standard post-Broadway lyrics. However, the lines "The load is as heavy as hell" and "It will kill you as well" are performed as ensemble pieces instead of the scripted solo lines.

"Who Am I?" retains Valjean's "You know where to find me" line... usually. I also have one 1989 recording where Peter Karrie uses the Australian "You will find me at the hospital St. John" line... yet Karrie himself can also be heard stating the usual line in other performances. Very odd...

The "Hell, what a line" original lyric is still sing during the preamble to "Master of the House".

Thenardier still sings "your child" instead of "her child" during the "Waltz of Treachery".

Gavroche's opening to "Look Down", the Beggar Woman's "Give 'em all the pox", and the beggars' "See our children fed" lyrics have all finally been adapted into their official post-Broadway selves. However, the "When's it gonna end" sequence retains its pre-Broadway form.

"The Robbery" maintains the unique "God will see all the good that you do" variation. However, Javert's "Why the hell did he run?" has fortunately been reverted to "Why on earth did he run?"

"Stars" has now fully adapted into its Australian format. Instead of the original "Fallen from grace, fallen from grace" Javert now sings "Fallen from God, fallen from grace". The "but" has also been removed from "Mine is the way of the Lord".

"Red and Black" now uses the official "you talk of battles" line. However, Enjolras' name still isn't declared during its opening instrumentals.

"The Attack on Rue Plumet" retains all of its pre-Broadway variations.

In "One Day More", Javert now sings "I will join these little schoolboys" instead of "We'll be ready for these schoolboys".

The opening barricade scene in Act Two has now switched to the official post-Broadway "Dogs will bark, fleas will bite" lyrics.

Grantaire's post-"Little People" line now takes its post-Broadway "What's the difference?" format.

The "Second Attack", the "Final Battle", and "Dog Eats Dog" are all performed identically to the 1987-1989 West End versions.

Circa 1991-1992 variant

This is very close to the 1989-1991 version, with a few differences. The "Waltz of Treachery" finally has Thenardier say "her child" instead of "your child".

The "Final Battle" now uses the official post-Broadway lyrics.

"Dog Eats Dog" finally uses the official "Here's another toy" line instead of "Here's a little toy".

Moreover, the Epilogue now uses the Australian "I'll lead you to salvation" lines instead of the original (and still official at that point) "And lead me to salvation".

Circa 1992-1993 variant

This variant is similarly very close to the 1991-1992 one, with the following exceptions. "At the End of the Day" finally uses its official lyrics.

Valjean no longer declares "You know where to find me!" after "Who Am I?"

Then, "A Little Fall of Rain" takes a cue from the 1992 UK tour. It now opens with the same annoying interlude as opposed to the usual opening music.

Later, in another acknowledgement of the UK tour, after "Night of Anguish" instrumentals of "A Little Fall of Rain" as opposed to "Drink with Me" play.

Gavroche's death scene now uses the "ammunition short" and "I will go into the street" lines instead of the original ones. However, the rest of the number is still in its pre-Broadway state.

Circa 1993-1994 variant

This version borrows elements from the 1992 UK tour while still keeping a lot of features of previous West End versions.

The innkeeper scene still takes its pre-Broadway form.

"Fantine's Arrest" has put in Fantine's slightly awkward "I won't have you" line from the UK tour in place of her usual "No, not at all". Some performances also switch Bamatabois' original lyrics:

You've got some nerve, you little whore

You've got some gall!

It's the same with a tart as it is with a grocer

The customer sees what he gets in advance

It's not for the whore to say "yes sir" or "no sir"

It's not for the harlot to pick or to choose

Or to lead me a dance

Into his UK tour lines:

You've got some sauce, you ugly slut

You've got some gall!

What's become of the world when a whore from the gutter

Can suddenly get such ideas in her head?

Your job is to lie on your back for your betters

This hideous harlot believes she can choose

Who she takes to her bed

However, this didn't seem to be the standard at this point. Many performances still used the original lyrics.

"The Runaway Cart" has been entirely redone so that it takes its UK tour format. Instead of these original opening remarks:

Look at that

Look at that

It's Monsieur Fauchelevent

Don't approach

Don't go near

At the risk of your life

He is caught by the wheel

Oh the pitiful man

Stay away

Turn away

There is nothing to do

There is nothing to do

The UK tour ones are used:

Look at that

Stay away

You'll be crushed by the cart

Don't approach

Don't go near

It'll fall on you too

Oh my god, who is that?

It's Monsieur Fauchelevent

He is caught by the wheel

Oh the pitiful man

There is nothing to do

As in the past in the West End, the solo lines in the "Don't go near him..." sequence become ensemble ones.

Finally, Fauchelevent's original "You come from God, you are a saint" takes its UK tour "You saved my life, you come from God" form.

"Look Down" still uses the pre-Broadway "When's it gonna end..." sequence.

In "The Robbery", Thenardier also still claims "God will see..." instead of "God rewards...".

As with past variations in the West End, "Stars" takes its Australian/UK tour form.

Interestingly, despite all the UK tour adaptations which were being added to the West End show, the opening sting prior to "Red and Black" is not heard (despite the fact that during this era, it was being added to more or less every other replica production worldwide!)

Additionally, Enjolras' name still doesn't appear during the number's opening instrumentals.

However, Enjolras' line:

To rally the people

To call them to arms

To bring them in line

Is replaced with the UK tour version:

To rally the people

To fire their blood

And the bring them in line

Also, the rewritten lyrics to "Lamarque is Dead" do appear.

The pre-Broadway lyrics in "The Attack on Rue Plumet" are still present.

Javert continues to sing "I will join these little schoolboys" in "One Day More".

As was the case in the last edit, "A Little Fall of Rain" and "Night of Anguish" use the musical variants introduced in the UK tour.

Gavroche's death scene is finally in its official post-Broadway form 100% of the way through. After this point in the show, everything is identical to the 1991-1993 show.

Circa 1994-1995 variant

This is almost identical to the 1993-1994 version of the show. The one difference I'm aware of: Thenardier finally sings "God rewards..." instead of "God will see..." in "The Robbery".

Circa 1995-1996 variant

A few differences are present here relative to the 1994-1995 version. First off, "Lovely Ladies" takes a cue from the UK tour. Instead of this group scene:

(SAILORS - simultaneously with prostitutes' lines)

Lovely lady, fastest on the street

Wasn't there three minutes

She was back up on her feet

Lovely lady, what you waiting for

Doesn't take a lot of savvy just to be a whore

Come on lady, what's a lady for?

(PROSTITUTES - simultaneously with sailors' lines)

Lovely ladies, lovely little girls

Lovely ladies, lovely little ladies

Lovely girlies, lovely little girls

We are lovely, lovely girls

Lovely ladies, what's a lady for?

There's this exchange between a prostitute and a pimp:

(PROSTITUTE)

God I'm weary, sick enough to drop

Belly burns like fire

Will the bleeding ever stop?

(PIMP)

Cheer up dearie, show a happy face

Plenty more like you here

If you can't keep up the pace

(PROSTITUTE)

Only joking, dearie knows her place

Note that this is NOT identical to the UK tour version. The prostitute sings "will the bleeding ever stop" instead of "never stop", and the pimp refers to "you here" instead of "you, dear".

"Fantine's Arrest" now has solidified the UK tour lyrics as the default ones; the original lyrics seem to no longer be used in the UK.

In the "Waltz of Treachery", Thenardier no longer just sings "Let's not haggle for darling Cosette". No he refers to "darling Colette", with Mme. Thenardier quickly saying (not singing) her actual name and Thenardier singing it in response. I'm not the biggest fan of this joke myself. It makes Thenardier look like nothing more than a big idiot, when I think there should be a degree of cunning to his character.

The student finally shouts Enjolras' name during the opening instrumentals to "Red and Black" now.

Fortunately, the little opening overture before “A Little Fall of Rain” has once again been removed. Everything else is the same as the last version (and yes, that includes the original pre-Broadway lines that haven't yet been converted to their rewritten forms!)

Circa 1997 variant

This version is almost identical to the last one. However, Javert is back to singing "We'll be ready for these schoolboys" instead of "I will join these little schoolboys" in "One Day More".

An interesting change also occurs during the "Final Battle". Though the lines are the same, Enjolras now sings the final word, "free", instead of shouting it.

And that just about sums this part up! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what’s commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I’d love it if you DMed me!

Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye…

#les mis changelog #the les miserables changelog #les mis #les miz #les miserables #musicals #west end #london #valjean #jean valjean #javert #cosette #marius #fantine #eponine #thenardier #gavroche #changelog #history #comparison #long post

[animepopheart]

Secret Confession: I am agnostic and not out to my family about it. I was raised Catholic and God is supposed to be omniscient and that always confused me. Like I understand that your actions on Earth determine if you go to heaven or hell, but I find it hard to deal with that and an omniscient God. Like if the suffering and hardship here is part of a test of your faith, how is that compatible with omniscience. God already knows every action everyone is going to take and has built a paradise to reward them. If God already knows all, what’s the point? It then makes all the suffering seem needlessly pointless and cruel. I’ve never had someone give a good answer to that combined with God being all loving.

Thanks for sharing with me, Anon. I know it’s not easy to come out about that to a religious family. I was agnostic for years, and then a seeker of Asian religions, before finding my own faith in Christ.

It seems that you’re maybe willing that I share my answer. I don’t know if it’ll help, but I’ll try. I think it all has to do with the definition of love, one that’s easier for me to understand now that I’m a father, as opposed to when I was younger. There are times that I expect strict obedience from my kids, mostly when I’m frustrated or angry, and then they do actions to correspond. But that doesn’t make me happy. I’m happiest when they are, when they do the “right” things out of love, out of a want to please me.

So it is with God. The story of the Garden of Eden is the story of a perfect place, one that was supposed to extend to the whole earth, supposed to be for all mankind for all time. But from the beginning, it also featured the possibility of sin prominently, and not just for reasons of testing, but for the same reason I mentioned earlier—we’re at our best, at the point we’re made to be at, when we seek God because we love him. If there isn’t another option, like workers under a dictatorship, there is no love.

And so, of course, we pick ourselves. We select all the things except for what God has asked us to do because we know better. And still, still God loves us enough to come to earth among us and die in our place. In doing so, He actually did all the work. We’re not working toward Heaven—it’s already given us, as the kingdom of Heaven is here and for all time. We just need to trust him. And when we do, like a loving child, we’ll more and more learn to follow him and trust him and do his will. And like a loving father instructing his daughter, we become more and more who were were meant to be as we listen to wisdom. Suffering comes sometimes to shape us, and sometimes it comes because we live in a world full of people gone awry, creating it. Regardless, when we trust him, we’re secure in knowing that he cares for us and wants our best. He’s not vindictive or belittling or unmerciful—He’s the God who died so that he could do the work for us, to let us rest in his mercies.

#feel free to reach out through chat if you wanna talk more #take care! #Christianity #religion #catholicism

[feckin-zicons]

that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway!  TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official” coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn’t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.

#Honestly it should be the Liam Payne the three guys who’ve had a crush on him and the one who married him. #aka the hill I'll die on #lmao #sorry not sorry #IM SORRY IT LOOKS LIKE I HAD A LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT THIS THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD #ASDFGHJKL; #also please don't think I'm calling anyone out specifically #these are a lot of generalizations and trends I've noticed after being in fandom for nearly 11 years they pop up all the damn time #circles we're just going in circles #I've been following Ziam in particular since the Nov 2011 interview #but suspected Liam had a crush sometime before when I saw a gifset of him talking about Zayns birthday presentsbc he as acting the exact sa #e way I was when I was crushing on a girl I knew #I saw myself in him and ignored it for another day #lmaooo #ziam #larry tunnel vision #larry vs ziam #Larry vs Niall #fandom bs #ask

[leapyearkisses]

Orbs Are Bad News Part 1/2 - (m/m) Gerrit/Llewellyn

I ran out of Eliseo/Padgett stories, so I’ll post the rest of what I’ve got. Thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged, and/or left nice comments. This community is truly so kind!

Anyway, I love these characters, so much. :)

MESS, sorta NSFW probably, sneezing on person (who likes it) - Elven sorcerer Llewellyn gets his hands stuck to a magic orb while he has a cold and has to be taken care of by his FWB(?) half-elf fighter Gerrit Truestride who gets off on that sort of thing. 

I fricking forgot Gerrit’s last name. This might be it??

---

"Okay, we don't know what we're dealing with here, so let's be careful." Gerrit pushed open the heavy wooden door and lifted his torch to illuminate the room inside. The firelight played over several tables covered in intriguing objects and glinted teasingly off of more than one hint of gold. Gerrit himself spotted a stolid wooden chest in the corner and his heart rate quickened. "Jackpot," breathed Remembrance, the party's resident ne'er-do-well. She rubbed her hands together, sharp nails clicking. Gerrit was sure she was assigning price tags to the lot of it, except for whatever she hid in her bags for herself, of course. "I know a guy in the capitol who'll pay through the nose for that pervy little statue there." "That is a religious object," chastised Cordes with a haughty tsk. "It's used in rituals of worship for the goddess Fortuna." "Oh, I'm sure he'll be worshipping," cackled Remembrance, and she slipped past Gerrit into the vault. "Few hundred gold and he'll be rubbing out a grand ol' prayer." Her pointed tail waved with greedy delight. "Hey! The proper course of action would be to bring it back to a temple!" Cordes went after her, pushing Gerrit aside. The half-elf grumbled but wasn't surprised. "At least TRY not to touch anything cursed," he called. He'd been the one to organize this little band, but although he was the one who reported to their patron, he had precious little influence over what they did. They were happy to point to him when some upstart had a problem with the party, though. Ingrates. He turned to the last member of the group. "What about you, Llewellyn? I thought I saw some books on the far table."

"Lead the way," replied the sorcerer, and his usually mellifluous voice sounded strained. Purple shadowed the hollows under his faintly luminous silver eyes, and he had his nose tucked into his handkerchief again. Gerrit hadn't spent much time around full elves, but he'd always believed they couldn't get sick, at least not like a human or dwarf. Llewellyn had been dragging since Saints' Day, though, and seemed to have come down with a flu. His skin, where visible under his fitted robes, was wan. "Sure," said Gerrit, and he stepped into the room, holding the door out so that Llewellyn could join him. "You, uh, you don't look like you're feeling any better." "Oh," said the sorcerer, "I'm not. I ran out of tonics." He entered the vault and walked over to one of the tables, investigating a strangely shaped glass bowl. "But as we were already down here, I'm not sure what you want me to say. There's no inn at which I might rest my weary bones."  "Cordes could make you an herbal remedy," Gerrit grumped. He went over to the chest he'd seen earlier and smashed the lock off with the pommel of his dagger. He didn't need any fancy lockpicking tools like Remembrance's. And hitting something felt good when his companions were all intent to be annoying, acerbic, or both. "I suppose," Llewellyn replied, sounding uncertain as his voice wavered. Gerrit tried to ignore the way his ears heated at that. That was the tone that overtook the elf when he was preparing to sneeze. It wasn't any of Gerrit's concern. His occasional roll in the hay (literal and figurative) with Llewellyn did not make it easier or more appropriate to acknowledge his odd attractions, especially since they were currently ransacking a dungeon with a priest and a psychopath. He focused his attention on searching the chest, and he was rewarded with a heavy coin purse, a stack of calfskin-bound journals, and a ruby the size of a robin's egg. He whistled. Llewellyn gasped. "Hah- hahttsch-ow!" "'Ow'?" Cordes appeared from behind a bookshelf, one arm wrapped tightly around a thick rug, the other reaching for his pack of salves. "What is it? Cut? Burn?" When Gerrit looked, their sorcerer was rubbing his nose with his left hand. "Bruise," Llewellyn said. He lifted his right hand, in which he held a blue crystal orb that was knotted inside a thin lattice of gold chain. "I got my hand caught." He'd apparently run the thing into his nose when trying to cover his sneeze. Llewellyn's thin face was already dusted pink from the embarrassment. Gerrit couldn't help but laugh. "Very graceful," he chuckled. "I will thank you for keeping it to yourself," Llewellyn replied, and that was elvish dialect for "fuck you." Gerrit laughed again.  Cordes had leaned over to see the orb better in the firelight. He was the only one among them whose vision was hindered by the dim light. "What kind of artifact is this?" he asked. "It doesn't resemble anything I've studied." "I'm not sure." Llewellyn held it up to the torch. The orb lit up like a lamp, but otherwise nothing happened. "Whatever this chain is, though, it's very prone to tangling." He tried to shake it off his wrist and failed. This was a task for both hands, and he set to freeing himself. And kept trying. And trying. Gerrit frowned. "What are you doing? Cordes, would you get that off of him?" "Sure." The priest reached out to help, but Llewellyn suddenly backed away out of reach. "Uh... I'm not trying to steal it, elf." "Oh, I would let you take it," Llewellyn said, scowling. "But I have a feeling we would be in for some trouble if you touch it now." He held up both hands. His palms were wrapped around the crystal and bound with the ball in that thin gold chain. "I am... I'm stuck."

---

"STUCK," hooted Remembrance again. She was crouched at the entrance to the dungeon - a root-cellar-like set of doors they'd found in a small bandit settlement - and hauling out a heavy pack stuffed with loot. In the daylight, she looked menacing and out of place, her horns, dusky maroon skin tone, and black eyes setting her apart from this land's primarily human residents. "And you even said not to touch any curses!" "I recall you said so as well," said Cordes, who looked exactly like a run-of-the-mill human resident except for the star-like scar on his left temple. He reached down and grabbed Gerrit's hand, steadying the half-elf as he climbed out of the hole. Llewellyn was hanging uncomfortably on Gerrit's back, arms looped around the other man's neck. They'd tried to find a more dignified way to get him out of the dungeon, but he couldn't manage the ladder well enough without the use of his hands. "The artifact didn't react to my detection spell," sniffed Llewellyn disdainfully, and Gerrit was quick to set him down before that sniffing could become another sneeze. He didn't want to blush in front of the others. "There must be someone in Veigh who can help you," Gerrit said. "We'll just swing by on our way to the capitol." The city was three days out of their way, but they couldn't have Llewellyn stuck this way for the two week trip back to their patron. With his hands bound, he couldn't cast any spells that required him to gesture, and that was almost all of them. He'd effectively rendered himself completely useless in combat. Veigh had a chapter of the Mages Guild in residence, though, and if no one there could help, they might at least be able to send Llewellyn on ahead via a transportation spell.  "I will hope there is." Llewellyn looked pale and worn, though his fine features still exuded the otherworldly beauty of the high elves. His hair was a silky black, although mostly covered by his hood, and the contrast made his silver eyes look even more curious. He fumbled for a minute at his waist before scowling heavily. "I can't get into any of my bags, of course..." "What do you need?" asked Gerrit. Remembrance had started off through the trees, humming, her bulging pack swaying with her sinuous movements. Gerrit really didn't want to let her get too far ahead, not least because she was scary good at concealing herself in the foliage and might slip the party completely. However, Cordes was with her, and Llewellyn couldn't exactly fend for himself right now. "My handkerchief..." The elf's voice had gone wavery again, and Gerrit watched as his nostrils flared. Fuck. Gerrit hurriedly patted his pockets until he produced his own handkerchief, or what he bothered with when necessary. It was a large square of flannel, rough around the edges. It wasn't embroidered or monogrammed like Llewellyn's, but he figured by now the flannel was a hell of a lot cleaner, and it was soft for an irritated nose. "Here, take mine." Llewellyn held out his hands plus the orb for it, breath hitching, but no matter how Gerrit tried to drape the cloth, it kept slipping off of the artifact. He supposed he could try to tie it around the- Llewellyn made a desperate sound and tipped his head back, exposing the long line of his throat. His breath was coming in soft pants now. And he was raising the orb reflexively.  Gerrit couldn't let him whack himself in the face again, so he did the only other thing he could think of. With one hand he reached out and took Llewellyn by the shoulder. With the other, he lifted the handkerchief and pressed it over the elf's nose. His fingers settled firmly on either side of Llewellyn's nostrils, and none too soon. After another half-hitch, Llewellyn ducked forward again with a quiet but insistent sneeze. "Happtsch! Gerrit was sure he was beet red. “Bless you,” he mumbled. Through the cloth, Llewelyn’s nose felt hot, and any gentle pressure resulted in a bit of a squish. “Let me just…” "Whh- wait-" Llewellyn leaned into the handkerchief. "I'm nh- I'm not done hhH-" His eyes slipped shut and he gasped again. Gerrit swallowed and tried to ignore the tenting of his breeches. "R-roger that." He could feel Llewellyn's nostrils twitching against his fingers. "Hh...Haah- Hapttschuh! Snrk... Aptschiu!" His body rocked, and he took a half-step forward. Gerrit could hear the thick sound of congestion in the elf's nose as he tried to stave off another sneeze. "Blow your nose," he said. "It will help." Llewellyn hesitated, but in the end, he had to comply. There was nowhere for the mucus to go except out. He started to blow with a gurgle. Gerrit moved the hand from his shoulder to start rubbing Llewellyn's back. The handkerchief and his fingers were rapidly growing damp, but he really didn't mind. "There you go."  He held the handkerchief to Llewellyn's nose until the elf moved back on his own. His nose was red and tender looking, and his cheeks were flushed rosy. He didn't seem to want to meet Gerrit's eyes. Gerrit didn't mention it. He didn't really want to look at Llewellyn either right now. It had been a while since the elf had looked so very fuckable.  He put the handkerchief in an easily-accessible outside pocket of his vest.  "Ready to go?"  Llewellyn coughed lightly. "Yes." "Excellent." Gerrit gestured for Llewellyn to precede him, and the two of them headed out through the trees, following the sounds of Cordes negotiating the underbrush and swearing about it. --- Travel proved easy enough once they made it to the road. They were fortunate not to meet anyone else along the way. The party could handle a group of bandits without their sorcerer, but they had their treasure to worry about, and Remembrance always drew stares, and sometimes aggression, even from normal travelers. Gerrit thought her skills more than made up for the extra negative attention they drew. And anyway, Remembrance was crazy but she wasn't evil. She did better out on the road than in town, but that was probably true of all of them. Llewellyn kept up with her pace, but it was clearly a struggle. He was usually fairly quiet, but he didn't speak at all as they walked, focusing on breathing and not devolving into coughing or more sneezing. There were a few times when Gerrit hastily reached into his pocket, at the ready, but Llewellyn fought back the itch with admirable determination. He kept his nose from running by sniffling heavily, which sounded somewhere between awful and revolting. Cordes commented on it multiple times with disgust, but nothing could be done. Llewellyn held his tongue, and Gerrit was reluctant in this case to offer the handkerchief without being asked. They found a place to camp about half an hour outside the small village of Tewks. Remembrance cleared out some brush to make a flat area for the bedrolls and then promptly decided she'd rather sleep in a tree with everything she owned. She found a good, solid oak a few yards from the camp and ensconced herself in the crux of its branches. She had a good view of the road in either direction and volunteered to take the second watch in the middle of the night, which was her favorite time. Gerrit agreed to take the first watch as Cordes started to set up his tent. The priest refused to sleep on the ground and always took an extra fifteen minutes to erect a curious one-person canvas canopy. It wasn't even large enough to sit up inside, but whatever. The priest never asked anyone else to haul it along, so Gerrit wouldn't complain. These arrangements left him and Llewellyn alone together on one side of the fire, and he supposed that was preferable during the orb situation anyway. Llewellyn couldn't handle his own bedroll, help with the fire, or unpack any of their supplies. Gerrit realized he would probably have to help the elf eat, too. And... Well, when he noticed Llewellyn fidgeting uncomfortably, Gerrit took him out into a thicker copse to see to his other needs. They didn't talk about it... Llewellyn could hardly undo his own buttons, though, and it wasn't the first time Gerrit had taken over. By the time the fire was hot enough to cook over, Llewellyn had tucked himself up to sit on a tree stump, exuding an aura of furious self-reproach. Cordes took some jerky into his tiny tent with him - for some reason. Gerrit made up two bowls of pottage and sat himself on the ground at the roots of the stump. He put one bowl on the ground for himself and then held up the other. "Hungry?" "Not particularly," Llewellyn replied, voice blunted with congestion. He coughed. "But you're going to make me eat something, aren't you." "I'd prefer you do it willingly." Gerrit tapped the spoon on the side of the bowl. "Come on. It's hot. You'll feel better." Llewellyn growled in a manner more suited to orcs than elves. "I feel like an invalid." Gerrit sighed. "Well, if it makes you feel better, we can pretend you lost your arms in an owlbear attack very tragically." He could feel Llewellyn's fiery glare on him and smiled a little. "Look, we've all done stupid things while adventuring. I'm sure you remember when I tripped and knocked myself out on that knight's shield during the tournament." "I remember," replied the elf, begrudgingly. "Besides, you're sick on top of the whole orb thing. Maybe your detection spell wasn't sensitive enough. Maybe the thing's not even cursed! Maybe it's supposed to do this, and we just don't know why." "I have a hard time believing that. What possible purpose could this serve?"  Gerrit shrugged. "Don't ask me. Dad says my mother was a druid, but I haven't got a magical bone in my body." He tilted his head. "We could always try smashing it?" Llewellyn's rejection was forceful. "Do you want to explode?!" Gerrit chuckled. "Not really." Llewellyn sighed. Gerrit held out a spoonful of pottage. Feeding both Llewellyn and himself was a bit difficult, but Gerrit did well enough when he could alternate. It would be better if he could use both hands equally like Cordes, but he couldn't, and so he didn't. He just thought about it wistfully as he worked. Llewellyn ended up eating most of his bowl, then went back to sitting quietly and sniffling. Gerrit finished the rest and put the utensils aside to deal with later. And... Even though Llewellyn hadn't asked, he drew out his handkerchief again. "Hey," he began, trying not to sound awkward. "You wanna blow your nose?" No one else was paying attention and Llewellyn didn't need to inhale any more of that crap. The elf gave him a shitty side-eye. "Come on," said Gerrit. "Don't be like this." He patted the ground in front of him encouragingly as if Llewellyn was a recalcitrant cat. "I'm fine," said Llewellyn, and then betrayed himself with a quick breath. "Hah--" "Come on," Gerrit repeated, "before you make a mess." Llewellyn came down off the stump to sit in front of him, legs tucked underneath, and rested the orb on Gerrit's thigh to balance himself. His eyes were pinched with reluctance, but Gerrit could see that the elf's nostrils were already damp. "Hah- hh- hurry," Llewellyn gasped. Again, Gerrit reached out with the handkerchief, enfolding his companion's nose. He could feel Llewellyn's breath fluttering against his hand through the fabric and hear quite clearly how it kept catching on congestion.  "Hah-hngk- Hahgkttscht!" Llewellyn ducked forward with the force of it and Gerrit steadied him with a hand on his hip. "Ngkttsch! Hnggktxch!!" Gerrit bit his lip sharply to keep from saying anything, but his body was singing with arousal. Llewellyn hiccuped a short gasp and Gerrit pulled the handkerchief away to present a clean corner. The current spot had become soaked and silvery. "Bless," he managed after a moment, and he carefully readjusted the cloth. "Are you going to sneeze again?" Llewellyn nodded, eyes teary with the effort of the first bunch. Gerrit wasn't surprised; the elf had been holding back since they left the dungeon. He couldn't imagine it had been comfortable, but Llewellyn had his pride. He never would let Gerrit give him love bites either. Annnd Gerrit was going to have to stop thinking about that. "Haptsch!" Easier said than done. Really. But Llewellyn's comfort came first. "Hahkptsch!" The sorcerer groaned softly. "Hah- hh- Hgnaptscxhx!"  Gerrit did his best to assist Llewellyn through the fit. He kept the handkerchief secure, moving it when necessary to keep it dry enough. He steadied the elf when the sneezes bent his body or when he felt faint from lack of breath. He even massaged Llewellyn's nose for him when he was trying to blow it and the congestion was stubbornly refusing to move. By the time he felt finished enough to lean back, Llewellyn was flushed and light-headed, swaying where he sat. Gerrit was sweating and needed a towel. "........Thanks," murmured Lleyellyn, eventually. "Yeah," said Gerrit. "Sure." He swallowed. "Let's wash up." He helped Llewellyn to his feet and they went a little way to a creek (generously; it was little more than a ditch through the woods). Gerrit gently washed Llewellyn's face, careful of his tender eyes and nose, and sent him back to camp to lay down for the night. He lingered at the water's edge to wash the handkerchief and, well, to take other matters in hand. Llewellyn was completely out when he returned, and Gerrit was grateful. He smoothed the elf's bangs back and then settled beside the fire to take watch. The woods in the dark were full of the sounds of insects and small animals moving in the undergrowth. And Llewellyn snoring and sniffling in his sleep. Safe sounds. Gerrit rested his chin on his hand and looked toward the road. Damn orb. It was going to be a long way to Veigh.

#lyk writes #snz #llewellyn mistwalker #gerrit truestride #gerwellyn

[justaghostingon]

Forgotten Alters Part 2

Buried Secrets

As the Academy readies itself for the Hunter’s big festival, Gyrus gains the chance to learn a secret about the god and himself.

The courtyard of the academy was bustling with activity. Magicians and casters of all types ran back and forth, some balancing gigantic barrels of paint, others with ceremonial white robes to soak in glowing powder so that no one got shot, and even someone driving a whole herd of wild boars through the center, fattened and grunting and ready to be doused in bright greens and yellows for the festival’s Great Hunt. 

Gyrus dodged around a stray boar, tripping backwards until he collided someone soft. He looked up to see the familiar face of his astrology professor frowning down. 

“Gyrus,” Professor Iro sighed. “Where have you been?”

“I was double checking some of the preparations for the release of the boars,” Gyrus lied through his teeth, not wanting to explain how he’d gone to his secret altar, again, to wish the Hunter good luck on the Great Hunt. He hadn’t been there, which Gyrus really ought to have predicted. The hunter might occasionally masquerade as a priest in Gyrus’ company, but he no doubt had better things to do to prepare than accept the well wishes of a random mortal who kept stumbling into his hidden altar. 

That didn’t stop the disappointed drop in Gyrus’ stomach at the empty altar though.

Professor Iro’s sigh brought Gyrus back to the present. “That’s priest work boy,” he grumbled. “Don’t go doing their job for them. They do little enough as it is.”

“They lead the Hunt!” Gyrus protested, feeling slightly offended on the priest’s behalf. “It’s their job to make sure that everyone has a good time, and that all the boars get caught!”

Professor Iro snorted. “Yeah, theoretically. All just an excuse to Hunt these so called ‘Great Beasts’ and try to imitate their god’s own Great Hunt,” Professor Iro waved a hand at the boars in the courtyard, now being sprayed with the bright green paint. “We’re the ones who actually have to create these ‘great beasts,’ to match the Great Traitor’s monstrous form,  and guide the less experienced hunters to a good catch while the priest frolic in the forest.”

Gyrus looked down at the ground, cobbled stones splattered in glowing emerald paint. The academy did put a lot of work into preparation for the Great Hunt, from painting the boars to guiding the poorer families towards the fattest finds. Still, “At least we’re not in charge of the cooking.” The feast afterwards could last for days, and the smell of blood and grease clung to the priest and peasants for ages after they prepared their kills. 

“Hunter grant us small favors,” Professor Iro muttered. “That reminds me,” he gave Gyrus a peircing look. “The headmaster wants to see you.”

He does?” Gyrus jumped. Running an anxious hand through his hair. “What for?”

“Not sure.” Professor Iro shrugged. “I’m just the messenger. But it sounded important. So whatever it is,” his hand squeezed Gyrus’ shoulder, “make the astrology department proud okay?”

“Of course,” Gyrus gulped. Mind racing. What had he done lately that would warrant a call from the headmaster himself? Was he going to get a reward for his latest project? But why a call to the office? Usually rewards were offered in big ceremonies. This sounded more like a reprimand. Or discipline. But it wasn’t like he’d done anything bad recently. Or anything worthy of reward either. Just his last paper on the Hunter... Oh no. 

“You okay there Gyrus?” Professor Iro’s brow furrowed. “You look kinda pale.”

“I’m great!” Gyrus pulled his lips into a terrible approximation of a smile. “Which way to the headmaster’s office again?”

“It’s in the west wing. Behind the big gold doors, where it’s been since day one.” Professor Iro raised an eyebrow. “Gyrus are you sure you’re okay?”

“Completely!” Gyrus began to back away. “See you at the Hunt!” Not bothering to see Professor Iro’s reply, he took of running west. He needed to find out what the headmaster knew, for the Hunter’s sake. He’d trusted him, Gyrus flashed backwards to their meeting, months ago.

----------

“You’re back,” The Hunter’s voice caused Gyrus to whirl around, the picnic basket of Mandu nearly falling from his hands. The god was leaning against the entrance, effectively cutting out Gyrus only exit. An ethereal light from outside bathed his skin and made him seem to glow. Or he was actually glowing. He was a god after all.

“You’re here!” Gyrus gaped. He’d been so certain the Hunter wouldn’t return, he so rarely manifested twice. Unless - “I’m not going to do the project!”

“Huh?” The Hunter cocked his head, stretching his arms up above his head. “Why not? Seemed like you were pretty excited.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to hurt your...I mean I don’t think the Hunter’s going to like it if I broadcast this failed duality everywhere.” Gyrus glanced at the shadow burns on the wall.

“It’s just a school paper.” The Hunter rolled his eyes. “No one’s going to be consulting some apprentice caster’s first year paper for the next great religious guidelines.”

“Final year” Gyrus corrected, then shoved his hand over his mouth, realizing he’d just contradicted a god.

The Hunter merely raised an eyebrow. “Still an apprentice.” His eyes roved over Gyrus’ body, taking in his tense shoulders and his hand over his mouth. “Relax.” His voice softened. “You’re not gonna offend the Hunter. I’m a priest. I would know.”

Oh so he’s still pushing the whole human thing? Gyrus thought to himself. Ok. He could work with that. “I guess I’ll trust a priest’s word,” he smiled. “But if I’m failed for blasphemy, I’m saying I got it from you.”

“Fair enough,” the Hunter shrugged. His eyes fell on Gyrus’ picnic basket, and flashed bright blue. “Is that Mandu?”

“Yes,” Gyrus lifted it up, watching the hungry god with slight amusement. “Do you want some?”

“If you insist,” the Hunter waved a hand, trying to appear indifferent. Gyrus giggled.

-----------

“There you are Gyrus.” The headmaster stood up as Gyrus burst through the golden doors. 

“I can explain!” Gyrus cried, and the headmaster raised an eyebrow.

“I should hope so.” The headmaster smiled. “Considering this work on the Hunter’s possible connection to a star god is quite ground breaking.”

Oh no. It was just as Gyrus feared. “It’s just a theory!” He held up his hands. “I’ve not got that much evidence, and...” The headmaster held up his hand, and Gyrus’ jaw snapped shut. 

“Modesty is a virtue Gyrus, but not in academia. As it stands, your paper qualifies you for a very special duty for the Great Hunt.” The headmaster smiled, warm and inviting.

“It does?” Gyrus shifted from foot to foot. He’d never heard of any special duties involved. Was he going to have to guide some one important? He hoped it wasn’t the lord. He couldn’t stand that guy.

“Yes.” The Headmaster moved from behind his desk. “If you’d follow me, I can fill you in on the details as we walk.” He moved to the side to open a simple looking brown door off the side of his office. Gyrus hesitated, confused. This all seemed far too convenient. The Headmaster paused. “Gyrus,” his voice held a note of steel beneath the surface, and Gyrus felt his body jump to comply before he told it too. 

The hallway they stepped into was neat and well kept, with other little wooden doors lined up along the way, like any other hallway in the academy. Gyrus’ shoulders relaxed at that. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.

“...truly excellent work,” the Headmaster was saying, “how did you figure it out?”

Gyrus jumped, nearly tripping over his feet as he tried to figure out what the Headmaster was asking him, and what he was supposed to say. It was probably about the paper, he thought as he tugged at the edge of his shirt to buy himself some more time. But he didn’t want to explain about the altar, or about meeting The Hunter. He knew if he did it would be covered in scholars and magicians and priests. Call him selfish, but he didn’t want to share. Not yet.

“It was just a feeling,” he said instead. “The Hunter likes the stars.” 

“Does he now?” The Headmaster’s eyes narrowed, giving Gyrus a searching look. But Gyrus wasn’t paying attention, mind drifting to the first time he stayed over night at the altar. 

--------------

“Tell me about the stars,” The Hunter leaned back against the alter, looking upwards through the natural window to his constellation above. A stain of purple on his lips from the berries Gyrus had brought to spice up their daily picnics.

“What?” Gyrus blinked at the man across the picnic basket from him, hand halfway to the berries inside. “Why?” Surely the god knew everything already. If anything, Gyrus should be asking him that. There were so many secrets to the stars he’d love to know more about.

“You’re studying them aren’t you?” The Hunter said with a shrug. “Tell me about what you’ve learned.”

Well, if he insisted. Gyrus sat up, wiping the berry juice on his pant leg. “Stop me if i bore you,” he advised, knowing how long his rambles tended to run. The Hunter gave a nod, and that was all Gyrus needed to launch into a long lecture about astrophysics and the value of science in magic, a subject that only Professor Iro truly seemed to appreciate. The Hunter’s bright blue eyes focused on his face, sharp and interested, and never once did he interrupt him, even as the stars above faded to the blush of dawn.

-----------

 “Tell me, What do you think of the Hunter Gyrus?”

“I think he’s amazing.” Gyrus’s cheeks reddened at the daring of his own words. Hardly a normal thing to call a supposedly distant god. He hoped he didn’t come off sounding like a zealot or a priest.

“He is indeed.” The Headmaster’s voice is solemn. Gyrus glanced up at him, wondering if he’d met the god too, or if he was secretly a zealot. “Do you know why the academy is in this forest?” 

“Because it was a good place to build?” Gyrus asked, absently noting they were coming to the end of the hallway.

“No.” The Headmaster shook his head. “Because before we served The Hunter, we served his duality.”

“We what?” Gyrus stopped short. “Why doesn’t anyone know about this?” Surely this myth was preserved by the hunter’s priests, if it was still so relevant to the time. Unless... “Did I stumble on a Mystery?” Gyrus groaned. Everyone knew how protective priests were of their more sacred texts. If he’d accidentally found a secret from one of those, he was facing a severe scolding at best, and an indictment into the priestly order at worst. 

“Yes,” the Headmaster nodded gravely, and Gyrus’ heart sank. “But not for the Hunter’s priests. No. This is a Mystery of our own academy. A Mystery that today you are privileged enough to learn.”

“So you know which god the duality was.” Gyrus felt his curiosity bubbling up inside him. “And you’re going to tell me?” Induction into the priests would bore him to tears, but induction into the academy’s own staff? That was a dream come true. 

“Yes.” The headmaster stopped in front of the last door, solid Iron carved with an intricate designs of the Hunter among the stars. “Behind this door lies a secret we’ve guarded for a millennia. And today Gyrus, may open it.”

Gyrus reached to the heavily bolted handle, pulling the polished brass forward with a click and stepped inside.

The room was dim, and he blinked as he moved forward into the amphitheater, towards the only light streaming from a skylight four stories up. Was it that far to the surface? How had they gotten so far under ground? As Gyrus eyes adjusted, he realized they weren’t alone. Rather several people stood on sloping marble steps above them, cloaked in the shadows of the circular room. Gyrus turned his head to the center of the room, where a shallow pool lay at the bottom of the circular steps, water perfectly still, reflecting the image of the carved glass, above, the only light in the room. An eight pointed star.

“The Loadstar.” Gyrus’ legs gave out from underneath him as he gazed downwards at the symbol in horror. The great traitor himself. “But... no...” The Hunter wouldn’t. Not with him. 

“I’m afraid so.” The Headmaster said, and Gyrus heard the audible click of the door closing behind him. “Back before his fall, the Loadstar and the Hunter were in a duality, and to commemorate the occasion, the Loadstar placed the Hunter’s constellation in the stars. A trick, to distract the Hunter from his true intentions. Much like he used his patronage of our early institution to go behind the backs of the gods and plan his atrocities.”

“I don’t understand,” Gyrus shook his head. It was to much, to soon. The Hunter with the Loadstar? The academy serving the enemy? Nothing was making sense. Gyrus’ head was spinning. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because the Hunter took up our patronage from his duality, saving us from disgrace and destruction for one reason alone.” The headmaster lit a torch with magic, casting his face in shadow. “That when a human student with green hair and a love of the stars inevitably showed up and started asking questions on truths he shouldn’t know, we’d turn him over to the Hunter.”

The headmaster touched the torch to the ground, setting a ring of fire blazing around the circular room. In the new light Gyrus saw the faces of board members, professors, even Professor Iro stood among them, jaw set and eyes hard. 

“I don’t...” Gyrus shook his head, trying to make sense of the words coming out of the Headmaster’s mouth. “You think I’m the Loadstar?” That didn’t make sense. Gyrus clutched his chest. He was Gyrus. Just a normal human. A normal human who ate lunch with a god sometimes. But a normal human nonetheless. Wait. “The Hunter,” Gyrus gasped out. “The Hunter can vouch for me.” The Hunter wouldn’t have been so kind when he’d stumbled on the altar if he were his enemy. He couldn’t have known who he was and not told him. Right?

-----------

“You need to be careful,” the Hunter said, Mandu untouched at his feet.

“What?” Gyrus looked up at the Hunter, furrowing his brow in confusion. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know,” The Hunter bit his lip, frustration in his voice. “This shouldn’t be the first time. But it is. Someone’s been interfering.”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” Gyrus shivered. If the god was worried, then whatever it was must be dangerous. “What should I be looking for?”

“I don’t know that either,” The Hunter shook his head. “Just promise me if something happens, you’ll come here. It’s safer. Probably.” He shot a dark look at the shadow burns on the wall.

“That is not very reassuring,” Gyrus admitted. And the Hunter glared. “But yes!” he raised his hands in defeat. “I’ll come here.”

--------------

Yes. The Hunter would save him. He'd told him to run to him. He wouldn’t shelter his greatest foe, nor his treacherous ex-duality. A strange confidence filled Gyrus as he raised his head to smile at the Headmaster. “ Summon the Hunter, he’ll clear up this misunderstanding.”

“We aren’t summoning the Hunter,” The Headmaster frowned. “Our reputation would never survive. To serve the Loadstar before his fall is one thing, but to attract him again and again as our academy always does? No. The priests would have us completely disbanded for heresy. There’s only one solution, which has served our founders for a millennia.” One of the professors threw an ax in the air and the Headmaster caught it with one swift motion. “We are going to kill you Gyrus, before the slumbering god awakens within you.” He raised the ax above his head.

The ax sung down and instinct took over. Gyrus dodged sideways, scurrying up the steps and away from the ax’s swing. He looked back for the exit, but the fiery cycle had sealed it off. Above him the professors began to press forward, weapons glinting in the light, and Gyrus took a step back down the stairs to avoid them. 

“You’ve got no where to run,” the Headmaster said, taking another swipe at Gyrus head. “Just surrender and I’ll make this quick.” Gyrus ducked, turning to run, but the amphitheater had nowhere to go. The headmaster chuckled behind him. “You don’t have to die by my ax,” he offered. “We’ve got fire and water too. Although I’d say my ax is probably the quickest.” Gyrus shook his head, picking up speed as he hurried around the edge of the pool. But the sloping steps were not made for running, and his foot slipped, sending him sliding down into the pool below. 

He screamed, kicking outwards as the dark water closed over his head, swallowing him. He tried to swim, but the water folded unnaturally around him, like a tongue dragging him downwards. Malevolent and cold. He looked back at the light of the stars, swimming above him through the murky water. Was the hunter’s constellation above? Or the loadstar? He wasn’t certain. His last thought as he faded to black was if the Hunter would miss the Mandu he couldn’t bring to the altar.

-----------

“Do you want to live?”

“What?”

“You heard me. You’ll die here. But I can save you. You can save you. Do you want my help?”

“Yes!”

“Say it!”

“I want your help!”

The world flashed white.

#room of swords #room of swords fanfic #strawbarrow drabbles #gyrus #kodya

[beneaththetangles]

The World Is Not Enough: Isekai and the Hope for More

When it comes to anime and light novels, you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting an isekai series or six. Countless stories spanning many genres have used the person-travels-to-another-world premise. To borrow language from the infamous TV Tropes, the isekai concept has been played straight, played with, inverted, subverted, parodied, deconstructed, reconstructed, and more.

People must like isekai stories (I know I do!), otherwise there wouldn’t be approximately 47 million of them, with new ones coming out all the time. Regarding this topic, I recently actually-a-while-ago-but-it-took-me-a-long-time-to-write-this happened to see a post by Twitter user Sashimi Princess Maddie which was retweeted by J-Novel Club:

This post struck a chord with me because I’m fascinated by the connection between fantasy and faith. J.R.R. Tolkien’s essay “On Fairy-Stories” is of course required reading on this topic, as is Chapter IV — “The Ethics of Elfland” — in G.K. Chesterton’s book Orthodoxy. They discussed fantasy generally, and logically what is true of all fantasy is also true of the specific subset of fantasy we call isekai. Now, the tweet is obviously partly humorous, so it would be unjust to respond to or critique it as if it were a serious essay. However, I do want to highlight one point of possible disagreement that I believe is relevant to my own thoughts. (I say “possible” because without a full-fledged essay from  Maddie, I may be overlooking or misunderstanding points that a more complete argument would resolve.)

Japan is ground zero for isekai. The isekai stories we consume overwhelmingly originate in Japan, and are written by Japanese people for Japanese people. And Japan is a place where Christianity’s influence has been meager, at best, since the Tokugawa period. Meanwhile, the religions with any sizeable footprint in Japan, namely Shinto and Buddhism, don’t contain a concept of heaven comparable to that found in the teachings of, say, Christianity or Islam. Christians make up 1% to 2% of Japan’s population (depending on which estimate you read), which means many Japanese people have probably never even met a Christian! Thus the appeal of isekai in Japan cannot be explained in terms of filling in a gap left behind by the decline of traditional religious hope for heaven.

The OP’s argument would work better if the vast majority of isekai came from, say, western Europe or the United States. Throughout much of the west, Christianity formerly held immense cultural influence. However, Christianity’s influence in these places has declined greatly in the past century or three. If such places produced most isekai stories, we could make a more plausible case that isekai draws upon lingering notions of heavenly reward, relics of a discarded traditional religion whose notions permeated society, in order to fill the hope-deficit created by that religion’s decline.

I believe while Maddie is correct to find conceptual connections between isekai and religion, I just find the specific relationship posited by the OP inadequate, especially with regard to Japanese people. Thus I invite you, dear reader, to consider other Bible teachings that do more to explain the appeal of isekai even in a culture where Christianity (including its notions of heaven) never held much sway. The picture of our world and human nature painted in the Old Testament provides a partial explanation for why we like isekai, an explanation that is not contingent on lingering cultural debris left behind by Christianity.

Let’s look “In the beginning” — yes, the one where “God created the heavens and the earth.” As God completes his creative work in Genesis 1, we read “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” *That* is the world in which God intended us to live. And all this “very good” stuff includes humans, too, who the text says God created in his own image. Alas, we humans ruined things. To put it another way, long ago God and man lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation sin attacked.

Yeah, after God created all this good stuff (including we humans!), Genesis 3 introduces a slew of bad things that weren’t supposed to be part of this world: sin, death, the curse. Of course, God knew this would happen, and already had a plan in place. That plan reached its climax in the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, but in some respects it is (at least from our point of view) not yet completed. For now, we still live in a cursed and corrupted post-Genesis 3 world, a place where sin and death run rampant. We ourselves are broken by sin, and we must endure in a world unlike the one God originally created for humans.

The entire Bible is stories of humans sinning, which goes a long way toward showing what mess this world is, but the Bible also contains an entire treatise specifically exploring how awful our post-Genesis 3 world really is. Speaking of our world as “under the sun,” Ecclesiastes incessantly hammers home the “vanity” of this life. “Under the sun” is an unreasonable, unjust, and oppressive place that we can’t understand or fix. “Under the sun” is a place where bad things *will* happen to us no matter how hard we try to avoid them. “Under the sun,” all our labors will accomplish nothing of lasting value. “Under the sun,” we’re all gonna die just like dumb animals, no matter how we lived. And then the cherry on top is that after we die, no one “under the sun” will even remember us, and any stuff we had will be misused by people who don’t deserve to have it.

Our own experiences validate this picture of pointlessness. I had an abusive childhood; I’ve faced a slew of physical and mental health issues; I’m presently almost 35 and I’ve never so much as gone on a date, let alone gotten married or had a family; I’m unemployed and living with my parents because I’m failing so hard at adulting. I’m not hopelessly miserable–God has abundantly blessed me in certain respects–but that doesn’t negate the reality that in some meaningful ways, my life is a big huge disappointment. You, O reader mine, will have different points of sadness and frustration and failure than I do, but I suspect most of us, if we’re honest, would have to concede that our lives are painfully disappointing, or at the very least have not followed the tracks we dreamed they would.

This image of the incomparable Kanami from the isekai series Log Horizon serves no purpose except to break up my wall of text and make me (you?) laugh.

Creation and the Fall provide the starting point for the appeal of isekai. God wanted us to be good and to live in a good world, but thanks to our sin, both we and this world are in far worse shape than he originally intended. Since we weren’t made for a cursed world, it is entirely natural that on some level we long for a place that is somehow more, or better, than the one we inhabit. Likewise, since we weren’t created so sin and death could dominate our lives, it is entirely natural that on some level we long to be somehow more, or better, than who we are. Even if we don’t have a clear idea of what exactly we really want, we still long for a vague something beyond our present existence.

We intuitively sense that something is off about both ourselves and our world, and this leaves us wanting a world and selves that are different from the world and selves we know. In the beginning, we were made for more, and now our existence isn’t quite right. Isekai appeals to this nebulous desire for something better that stems from our latent awareness of the Fall. Isekai stories give more concrete form to the desire to be different than who and what we are, and to live in a reality that isn’t entirely like ours. We may not want to live in the setting of every isekai story, but even grimdark isekai is still isekai, and thus shares the inherent appeal of the idea of other worlds.

Ecclesiastes is again relevant at this point. Perhaps the most hopeful part the book’s message is unstated. As noted above, Ecclesiastes keeps emphasizing how everything “under the sun” is terrible. This raises a question: Is “under the sun” all there is? And here we find the implicit note of hope: the one thing mentioned in Ecclesiastes that isn’t “under the sun” is God. Throughout the Bible, God is consistently depicted as up above. So when Ecclesiastes mentions God, this gloomy book is hinting that there is more to reality than just our world “under the sun.” There might be a chance to escape the utter vanity of this life, if we seek somewhere–and more importantly, Someone–outside and beyond the world we know.

“Now let me be clear,” God is an almighty spirit unbound by the constraints of space and time. Thus, the Bible’s references to God dwelling in the heavens are obviously metaphorical and do not affirm some sort of literal spatial relationship between God and any celestial bodies or astronomical coordinates. That said, the Bible regularly pictures God as being in heaven, and if we follow the logic of that metaphor, then God is not “under the sun.” This is supported by one of the titles repeatedly ascribed to God throughout the scriptures (most often in the Psalms and the book of Daniel): “the Most High.” Again, this superlative is metaphorical,  not a literal claim about physical altitude, but to be “the Most High,” God is, in a conceptual sense, above everything else — the sun included.

The core premise of isekai stories is the idea that other worlds exist and that it’s possible to pass between them. Since we already desire something more, better, different than our present existence, isekai has a natural appeal. What distinguishes isekai from other fantasy / sci-fi stories is how directly it addresses this innate post-Fall desire for a different world. Non-isekai stories offer the possibility implicitly, not unlike Ecclesiastes: They ask us to imagine a reality different from our lived experience, but don’t necessarily give any indication that we can do more than imagine. Contrariwise, isekai takes as its explicit premise the idea that a person just like us, from the very world in which you and I live, can somehow go to a different world, and there experience significant personal changes of some kind.

All fantasy / sci-fi stories at least touch on the notion of a world unlike ours. Even if their setting is very much based on our world, by their very nature they include phenomena never seen here. Arthur C. Clarke famously captured the overlap between sorcery and science: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” All fantasy / sci-fi stories occur in a world where mechanical or supernatural forces beyond our experience or comprehension offer new possibilities. Isekai stories not only show us such worlds, they depict these worlds as existing in addition to (rather than instead of) our own, and as being possible for us to visit.

All of this ultimately brings us to the New Testament’s teachings about hope and resurrection and heaven. I think the OP was correct to see a connection between the appeal of isekai and the Christian hope of heaven. But heaven is only the fulfillment of our longing, not the origin of it. The Bible’s depiction of the Fall and its consequences explains better why we would find the idea of heaven, and isekai, appealing in the first place. We wouldn’t need heaven—or isekai—if we were perfectly satisfied with this world. But we aren’t satisfied, and the Bible’s account of the Fall and its effects explains why we find our present state dissatisfying. And so, reading isekai stories is really about hope for something beyond the reality we know. We feel rightly disappointed with our lives and with this world. We desire something else, and isekai supplies our imagination with more concrete ideas about other worlds.

For now, heaven is an incomprehensible wonderfulness. We know almost nothing about heaven, after all. Given how light on specifics the Bible is, even the most devout Christian is still limited to an amorphous notion of hope. But isekai stories are something I can wrap my mind around. The heroism, the adventure, the romance, the supernatural creatures—all of it speaks to my desire to be more, to experience more. The worlds I can imagine through isekai help strengthen my longing for the even better world I can’t yet imagine. Isekai stories help bridge the gap between the unsatisfactory reality I live with and the heavenly realm so glorious that human language can’t describe it. While we can’t really imagine heaven, isekai at least helps us envision something beyond our lives under the sun. Isekai cannot truly satiate our desire our desire to go somewhere different and be something different (that’s what heaven is for), but it does help us explore and understand our sense of longing.

People can enjoy isekai stories regardless of how much they accept or know anything about Christianity, which makes sense if our desire for an existence that is more, better, different than what we know far predates even Christianity. Isekai has not “taken the place of traditional religion as a promise that our suffering will be worthwhile” in a chronological or causal sense (e.g., religion held sway, and it declined, and that decline contributed to the popularity of isekai as a substitute). I believe it is more accurate to see isekai and the Bible’s teaching on heaven as parallel responses to the Fall. We can choose either or both, but they aren’t in competition. Isekai can be an expression of hope and longing both for those who believe in heaven as a religious doctrine, and also for people in places (e.g., Japan) where Christianity’s impact is minimal.

“In the beginning,” God intended for us to be better and to live in a better world, but sin broke the world and broke us, and now we’re all coping with this disappointing life under the sun and desiring something more. Thankfully, God promises that this world and our present condition are not final. He encourages us to hope for a world and a self that is perfect. We don’t know what that will be like, but isekai grants our imaginations a glimpse of possibilities beyond this world. Depending on isekai alone for hope, apart from Jesus, is not unlike eating a ton of junk food before supper and being unable to enjoy the real meal, but isekai can also be an hors d’oeuvre that whets our appetite for the heavenly banquet to come. To me, reading and watching isekai stories is an act of hope, helping me endure this present world by reminding me that I really do have hope of living in another world as a perfected version of myself.

#Anime #Manga #Light Novels #Christianity #Isekai #Religion #Japan #Heaven #Hope #Articles #Author: JeskaiAngel

[regrettablewritings]

Animatic/Storyboard Music

Got bored/procrastinate-y on coloring in this ultra intricate card for my mom. So I’m just gonna make a list of songs I think make for good animatic material. Because why not/I wanna foist my musical tastes on people/ @locke-writes got me in a music binge. For the most part, it’s just gonna be me explaining the meanings or the vibe or what they generally tend to be used for, but really it’s mostly subjective so imaginate whatchu wanna.

“Trust Me” - The Devil’s Carnival Originally depicting a story about the Scorpion and the Frog, it’s the perfect song for when you want to depict the dynamic between a gullible or at the very least more grounded character and a figure whose intentions . . . may be less than pure. Or good for anyone, really.

“The Dismemberment Song” - The Blue Kid I have a playlist dedicated to songs whose content and sound are just . . . not married to one another, but got a weird flirtationship situation going on. Anyway, I’ve seen people say that they like to imagine it’s sung through the POV of a scorned housewife who’s finally Had Enough™️. And . . . They’re really not wrong for it. Really, though, it’s just the right song for when a sadist is just ready to gut a fucker but is disturbingly jolly about it.

“Love Me Dead” - Ludo Continuing with my trend of songs about people in less than ideal situations, “Love Me Dead” is straight to the point: The relationship is just awful and the guy gets nothing from it, but he can’t help but be hopelessly in a state of adoration for the woman he’s latched on to (“You’re born of a jackal! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!!”)

“Constellations” - The Oh Hellos There actually isn’t a plot to this song, it just feels really good (as all songs by The Oh Hellos are prone to be). However, if you feel a need to portray the concept of having to reorganize your thoughts after realizing that maybe they weren’t what you initially thought, and then coming to the conclusion that even though everything changes as a result, you’ll be alright? This is the song for you.

“A Kindling of Sorts” - The Oh Hellos An instrumental piece that is like . . . It’s related to another song of theirs about nationalism called “Torches”, so make of that what you will. (I personally have been using it to imagine storyboarding an opening for an animated The Witcher series.)

“The Other Side” - The Greatest Showman I know everyone and their mom has used this to portray situations like villains trying to get good guys to join their side. But I dun curr, it’s a fun song. That, and I like what Emilyamio did with her interpretation. It’s fun. For a basic rundown, know it’s another song about two characters’ dynamics being explored, with one coming to the other with a proposal that they join them in whatever endeavors they have in store. It’s often portrayed as something evil, but it really doesn’t have to be, as the original context was more about letting loose than anything.

“The Thief and the Moon” - Shawn James A much more mellow piece. Simple and straight to the point: A thief tells the Moon that he plans on stealing her light to shade the world in darkness. The Moon insists that the thief would only doom the world by doing so, to which the thief clarifies that he doesn’t care; if the world is shrouded in shadow, it means he will be able to steal with more ease (“My very existence is a race to attain wealth”). Disgusted, the Moon essentially curses the man with a warning that his greed can and will bring about his end -- and leave him to be forgotten by the rest of mankind, once it happens.

“Villainous Thing” - Shayfer James I’ve seen people say that this song is about singing to a cadaver but I can’t quite find anything confirming that (translation: I’m too lazy to look too into it). Regardless, it’s a fun ditty that yet again portrays someone with less than pure intentions encouraging someone to join him in some good old fashion villainy, as they’ve clearly endured their fair share of hardships and surely wanted to do evil anyway (“You’ll find no ever after here, it’s clear that isn’t what you came for“).

“Necromancin Dancin” - Bear Ghost Straight forward and fun as fuck: A necromancer apparently seems to cross classes and try his hand at barding by not only raising an army of the dead, but by also making them dance in order to make conquering the world easier. Because . . . a body doing Disco Duck isn’t scary, I guess.

"Aquaman” - Walk the Moon A song about one half of a couple wanting to become more involved in their relationship, but still having some nervousness about doing so. If you somehow haven’t heard this song yet, you gotta because it’s the cutest shit.

“Jenny’s Tale” - Ren I’ll be brutally honest, it’s about a woman named Jenny who just wants to get home after a long day of work and an unfortunate encounter with a 14 year old named Screech who gets way in over his head. As in, like, a death happens. That being said, I need. Like. An animated music video of this song. I imagine this shit in gritty charcoal or painted on glass, it just needs this. Somebody who isn’t me who knows what they’re doing, please look into this.

“The Curse of the Fold” - Shawn James As cheesy as it sounds, it basically boils down to not giving up or yielding. But what makes it so cool is the fact that Shawn James makes all his songs basically sound like a western gothic soundtrack. Which helps, because he admits that the title is also a reference to poker, in which giving up too often or too easily can often rob you of a delicious reward gained through perseverance and sacrifice.

“Thank God I’m Not You” - Himalayas I prefer to imagine this for an arrogant asshole of a character. Because that’s exactly what this song is about: They’re a liar and a thief, they’ve been called the son of Satan, and yet they consider themselves lucky -- ‘cause at least they ain’t you! If you have a character in mind who’s a delightful, punchable little shit, this is probably either their anthem or at least on the playlist you inevitably made for them.

"Passerine" - The Oh Hellos So there’s a common trend in The Oh Hellos’ discography that tends to explore the two founders’ experiences with faith and their growth in how they understand it or recognize it. With “Passerine”, the concept being explored is the experience they had when it came to taking a step back and realizing just how many of their supposed “fellow Christians” were actually doing some rather unchristian things, so to speak. When they “prune[d] their feathers”, it became clear that they had less in common with certain people proclaiming to be Christian while also spouting bigotry and greed. However, the desire to move away from such influences comes with the feeling of being torn, as moving too far away from the Bible leaves the singer feeling as though she is betraying something she holds dear. As a result, “Passerine” symbolizes not a breakage from faith, but a breakage from blind faith as they understood it, and the inevitable feeling of being torn that comes along with expanding upon how one views their beliefs and those around them. It’s therefore not uncommon to see Good Omens animatics using this song. (Something I also noticed is that throughout the song, you hear pieces of “Constellations”. TOH have a tendency to reference previous pieces, and considering “Constellations” is a song about changing perspective and the meanings we apply to them, it fits in beautifully with a song about reevaluating one’s stance.)

“Like the Dawn” - The Oh Hellos As stated before, a lot of TOH’s discography draws inspiration from their faith. In this case, it’s an outright retelling of the Garden of Eden, specifically when Adam awoke to find Eve had been created. What makes this iteration stand out to most, however, is that the singer is female, which seems to change the vibe you get. It sweetens the feeling of wonder we often forget the first man might’ve felt upon seeing somebody made for him, creating an air of beauty yet comfort with such lines as “And like the dawn, you broke the dark and my whole earth shook” or “You were the brightest shade of sun I had ever seen.” Even without the awareness or an interest in religious influences, it still manages to be a very feel-good song -- which is the mark of an overall good song in general!

“Confession” - RED Dealing with the constant battle of feeling ashamed that how you feel on the inside isn’t in sync with how you present yourself on the outside. That you should feel bad for smiling out at the world while screaming and thrashing -- like it’s a lie. But you can’t help it: It’s what you’re accustomed to. Though it does end on a hopeful note with the singer deciding that they want to reach out for help and rid themselves of this feeling of pain they have inside.

“When I Grow Up” - Matilda . . . Only if you want to cry. Seriously. When you’re a kid, everything seems difficult but you’re positive that once you grow up, everything will change: You’ll be tall enough to climb the trees you were too small to, you’ll be able to carry everything because you’re stronger, you’ll be brave enough to fight the monsters hiding in your room, you’ll finally have all the answers. . . . But life isn’t that simple. We wish it were, but it isn’t. There’s this bittersweetness about this song, about a sense of purity we unfortunately grow out of where we think things will be just the same enough for us to do what we want when we want, but things are more complicated than that. We still struggle to reach, to bear the weight, to not be afraid, to have even a fraction of the answers. But! We’re reminded that just because we’re told life isn’t fair, doesn’t mean we have to take it. After all, nothing changes when nothing happens. And even beyond that? It helps to remember that we’re never quite done growing up; there’s always more to learn, so remember to be patient with yourself.

“Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!” - Will Wood and the Tapeworms This is . . . a song. The lyrics are honestly kinda all over the place and shooting rapid fire, making it a bit difficult to discern what exactly the singer is going on about. It makes for a pretty crazy song that suggests somebody’s going unhinged, which is apparently precisely the intention?? I’ve seen a lot of people interpret this as a song about a guy who is already at a low point in his life but nonetheless is going, “. . . I bet I can go deeper. Hand me my shovel.”

“No Reason” - Beetlejuice God if i had a youtube channel the segment i would spend on this song would be so juicy just ripe and thicc with thoughts and feelings i tell ya rich like a fresh fatty peach the apple that tempted Eve and gagged Adam yes ‘Nother song that explores the dynamic between two differing people and their worldviews. At its simplest, “No Reason” is about two opposite ends of a spectrum coming to a head: Idealistic and hippie-dippy Delia is convinced that everything happens for a reason, while cynical and depressed Lydia asserts that everything happens at random and it doesn’t matter anyway because we’re all going to die. And even though the delivery is ultimately a comedic one, you get more insight as to why one another feels the way that they do: Lydia, as we’ve previously learned, has recently lost her mother to an illness, which has left her depressed and feeling invisible (a theme in the show); whereas Delia’s failed marriage and desperate attempts to nonetheless be happy have left her dependent on the idea that these things had to have happened for a reason, otherwise, her pain would’ve been for nothing. What’s important is that neither side is actually appointed as the winner, with the song ultimately ending that the universe is random for a reason.

“Barbara 2.0″ - Beetlejuice Without spoiling anything (or at least too much), “Barbara 2.0″ is about growth. It’s about learning to put your foot down after a literal lifetime of being passive out of fear of what might happen and just accepting that nothing will happen if nothing happens -- but that doesn’t make whatever happens good.

“Bleed Magic” - IDHKBTFM It’s either about a killer or a vampire. No, seriously: When Dallon Weekes was asked about what the story of the song was, that was his answer. I personally prefer to think of it as a vampire or demon of some kind, given that the song came out around Halloween. Perfect for yet another example of somebody (likely supernatural) having an upper hand on an unsuspecting mortal. ...I have way too many of these on this list, I swear I don’t have a problem —

“Feel Good Drag” - Anberlin A toxic relationship of sorts. In that it shouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. Depicts the singer being approached by an ex, who seeks a one-night stand while her current boyfriend is out of town. However, the singer is aware that trying to continue anything regardless of the situation is a moot point: Even when they were together, their relationship was doomed from the start, and nothing about that is going to change -- especially now.

“Soviet Trumpeter” - Katzenjammer (It’s kinda difficult to work with this one but I’ve seen people work with less or stranger.) Based off the life of one Eddie Rosner, a Jewish Polish trumpeter whose fame within the USSR unfortunately faded due to the Soviet Union’s heavy censorship. Even if nothing is to be done with it, it still paints a melancholic picture of a talented man’s skills being largely unknown as a result of things beyond his control. All wrapped up in a song that denotes a strange deterioration in a way I can’t quite place.

“Apple Blossom” - The White Stripes On its face, it’s a very sweet song: The singer encourages his beloved to be vulnerable enough with him to tell him her troubles and to let him “sort them out for [her]”. She’s clearly saddened, and seeing so distresses him to where he insists that he will do whatever he can to make her happy. However, the tone of the song and certain lines make it easy to twist into yet another song of a character attempting to seduce somebody into a state of vulnerability . . .

“You’ve Got Possibilities” - It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman The one singular song people actually liked from this forgotten musical. Perfect for when somebody intends on giving somebody else a makeover. Y’know, after totally roasting them on their posture and clothing. If you want to add a lil something extra, know that the context is that a lady wants to give Clark Kent a makeover, insisting that in spite of his schlubby appearance, there’s gotta be something underneath. I repeat: She is telling this to Clark freaking Kent.

 “Still” - Anastasia In the context, the show’s antagonist (not bad guy, there’s a difference) finds himself torn between obligation and personal interest: Does he fulfill his duty and live up to expectations set upon him by his father and the society he’s been selected to help uphold? Or does he let a woman he has become fond of go? Is she truly as innocent as she claims? Or is she well aware of what she’s doing? And every time he thinks he’s reached a conclusion, he can’t help but thing, “But still . . .” Good for when you want to portray a character conflicted between obligations of politics and what their heart wants.

“Two Nobodies in New York” - [title of show] Two young men plan on entering an upcoming theatrical festival but struggle with what to even submit. This song in particular focuses on them trying to figure out what to even write, the concept of fame, and if wanting the certain things that may come with fame can mean anything from being sell-outs to getting a sitcom. It’s admittedly specific, but it’s a cute and funny interaction between two guys who are, for the most part, actually in sync with their thoughts and anxieties. For the time being.

“Into the Unknown” - Idina Menzel Look, I refuse to watch that movie. I just do. But I will take this song over That Other One any day. Mostly because I personally like to imagine that the singer in this song is about to embark on a Pixaresque journey after accidentally leaving her home during the night of The Wild Hunt, accidentally separating her spirit from her body and thus giving her a very limited time to get back to it before she remains a soul trapped in a whirlwind of ghosts forever. But first: Let’s sing about that strange howling that coaxes her so.

“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” - The Offspring I sure do long songs that can characterize a shithead . . . Anywho! The smoothest way to go is just to portray some cocky, manipulative shit who’s used to just lying and cheating their way to get what they want before slipping away without any consequences -- to a point. There’s the option of portraying the betrayer’s comeuppance, but there’s also the frustratingly delicious option of just letting them get away with whatever to lie another day.

“Why Should I Worry” - Billy Joel When in doubt, go to earlier Disney. Because like it or not, they had some bops. And when in the need of portraying a happy-go-lucky (probably idiotic) doofus and his more neurotic or cynical friend going about their life with the former just Mr. Magooing it while the latter suffers more realistic consequences? You go with this song. If you want. That’s just me.

“Transformation” - Brother Bear For when you want to invoke a mystical or otherworldly feeling. There’s really not much more I can say except to encourage you to listen to it and watch the scene if you can find it. You’ll get the vibe.

“No Girl’s Toy” - Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure It’s a big shame this movie is relatively unknown and never got a proper VHS release or anything -- mainly because the music in this cult classic is definitely stuff I could see becoming standards. I could see people performing “I Never Get Enough” for little shows, or recycling “Blue” for a different show. Thankfully, somebody was able to upload a clear enough sounding recording of “No Girl’s Toy”, so at least we have that. In context (just...follow me on this), Raggedy Ann’s brother, Raggedy Andy, has had enough of being subjected to “girly things” while in the nursery. Additionally, though, the way the song was written means it can also be interpreted as just a guy who refuses to let himself be yanked around regardless of how thick the sugar being laid on him is. . . . If you wanna poke fun as a character for trying to appear tougher than what he is, here’s the song. (That being said, Andy is a sweetheart at the end of the day. No amount of tough-fronting will hide that.)

“I Enjoy Being a Girl” - Flower Drum Song (It is by sheer coincidence that this song follows the above.) Really, it’s exactly what it says on the tin: The singer enjoys being a girl and what all it entails for her. She loves her feminine form, she loves the attention she gets, she loves dolling herself up, she loves frilly dresses, and she hopes to one day marry a guy who enjoys “having a girl like [her].” And honestly? Good on her! Love whatcha love, lovely! Seriously, though, it’s a cute song for anyone who just wants to indulge in some girliness.

“Chip on My Shoulder” - Legally Blonde Come on: It’s Legally Blonde. You know what this bop is, or at least have an idea of it. But since I love this song, I’ll indulge: Disheartened by her failure to both win back her ex and succeed in the fast-paced environment of Harvard, the normally bright-eyed Elle is ready to call it quits. That is, until junior partner Emmett gets involved. Unimpressed by her story, Emmett reveals that he got to where he was by busting his ass due to having a chip on his shoulder from his rough beginnings — and maybe a chip on the shoulder is exactly what Elle needs to survive. And as somebody driven by spite, I can appreciate that kind of message. Anywho, it all in all is a song about growth and learning how to be “driven as hell” to keep up with an opportunity that may not be easy to take, but is not one to be passed by.

“What Do I Need with Love?” - Thoroughly Modern Millie “What Do I Need with Love?” asks exactly that: He could date a different girl every night of the week if he so wanted, and never once had any desire to go steady before. He considers himself lucky to have never fallen for anyone -- until now. Which he’s not! He’s not in love. ...He totally is and, by his own admission, he’s got it bad it’s terribly adorable.

“Interlude IV” - Zach Callison The entire album is actually a narrative about a failed relationship of Callison’s and I’m sure the other songs are just as great fuel for animatics -- I’m just too caught up on listening to this one over and over. Sometimes, we just wanna listen to Steven Universe cuss and be openly furious. Seriously, though, even without the context of the rest of the story, you get the idea well enough: A spiteful Zach decides to get back at the one that broke his heart in such a painful way, whereas a well-meaning friend insists they just leave it be and move on. While this technically would be the better and healthier option, Zach is just too far gone with rage to let it go and decides to take care of things by himself.

“Evermore” - Beauty & the Beast Look, I know the remake wasn’t anything crazy. But also I don’t honestly care too terribly much. Besides, this song was nice and it really gets me after that key change. We all want a royal doofus to be enamored enough with us to let us go for our own happiness but still know that their life will forever be changed because they met us. Animate that shit. Over and over.

goddamn this list is long lemme just stop this now byyyyeeeee

#long post #boop #music post #sorta

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

let me explain to you the plot of borderlands 4 (kidding. mostly)

tl;dr: the eridians are evil, or, worse, completely uncaring about the things going on in their little sandcastle. the guardians are salty bitches about it and need our help and/or are going to start slaughtering people and im gonna fuckING TAlk ABOUT IT mostly because i need to write this down bc its been bouncing around my head since the game (bl3, not 4. that’d be wild) came out. minor spoilers for Guns Love and Tentacles. mostly that side quest.

tl;dr: tl;dr: eridians bad, guardians mad, and we are caught in the middle of a war that’s about to go down between them. spoilers for GLaT

tl;dr: tl;dr: tl;dr: Fl4k was a warning. Spoilers.

i dont even know where to begin because FUCK THERE’S SO GODDAMN MUCH TO THIS STORY

so im just going to start listing facts or points (+) of this theory that i remember at this very moment and probably forget a lot of them alright i’ll elaborate on all of this i promise. okay? lets go

+the eridians made a bunch of vaults that hold monsters in them

+some of these monsters are clearly constructs. some of them are not

+those that are clearly constructs:

the warrior

the traveler

the sentinel

+those that are not clearly constructs:

the destroyer

the rampager

the serpent

(possibly) gythian

(possibly) graveward (more on this in a bit)

+those that are not accounted for:

the timekeeper (but do keep this bad boy in mind)

+the eridians made the guardians: biomechanical constructs that are somewhat sentient, gaining sentience, and are supposed to guard the Vaults

+we also know now that there are these things called proving grounds with a salty, sentient guardian named the Overseer:

“vault hunter, I thought you might show up sooner or later. so naughty your species, so curious. the vault of vaults has been opened and IT has been released. prove your worth and I will reveal why the masters made me wait for you”

“naughty humans have opened the vault of vaults but the masters will determine who is a fault. until next time, warrior”

“long ago there was a brief spark, the first vault was opened, a light in the dark. a riddle, yes? perhaps it will unravel next time, hunter”

“so, you’ve returned. persistent, yes. or stubborn? or both. are you so desperate to prove yourself?”

“we were created for one purpose by our masters- and we couldn’t even do that right (laughs). but don’t blame us! when a cog breaks, point your finger at the artificer, not the cog! are you a cog, Vault hunter, or an artificer? Or both? prove yourself worthy.”

“pity us not, though the world has been broken. those who sleep will soon be awoken. not long now, seeker.”

“the eridians were our masters, but we failed them. they gave the order then silence. they VANISHED. such is our fate, Vault Hunter. server to a master who has left the house so long ago. prove to me that you deserve an introduction.”

“we were supposed to guard the Great Jail. but no quarter for servants who fail. but servant, that is not quite right. ‘Prisoner’. that is what i am. Until next time, adventurer.”

“a final chance to prove yourself. but will your reward be what you desire? a prisoner in a cell staring out at the fathoms of a sleeping universe. after a time, how would you know if you were prisoner or master? consider this while you prove yourself one last time.”

“it has come to this. one last trial. but will your efforts be worthwhile? that is what we will determine next time, hero”

“I am a prisoner, but you, vault hunter? what are you? hunter, warrior, hero? no matter what name i use, you return to prove yourself time and time again. but prove it to whom, i wonder? perhaps you seek a greater audition”

“it is done and my masters have taken note. would you like to know what they told me right before they vanished? ‘beware the vault hunters, they will take your kind’s place’. now i am free, and you are chained. until next time, guardian”

“well done, but have they taken note? that is what I wonder.”

+ the entire thing about there being a Fallen Guardian we have to kill

+ how the entire thing of the trails are copies of the worlds we visited to open the Great Vault. either the eridians can see through time (TPS) or they built these recently

+how dark Maliwan is probably working together with the Guardians on Nekrotefeyo given the fact they’re working together in one of the trials

+oh and remember how i suggested Maruice’s ghostie goo (ectoplasm) is actually related to eridians and such? YEAH. turns out that was right.

+Nyriad, the unreliable narrator

+the fucking Forgetting

+how the eridians are NOT ACTUALLY GONE FOR GOOD

+the seraphs!!!

+how the guardians are all named after angels, sirens are tied to humanity’s religious imagery

+how tyreen literally only loosened the chains on the Destroyer and the destroyer is going to break free from pandora

+how animals and people like bloodwing, slag psychos, etc mutate due to the eridium on pandora

+the destroyer’s reaction to slag being injected into its eye is straight panic

+the vault monsters that are fleshy were probably science experiments by the Eridians to test eridium and/or the results of being locked in the vaults for ages

+humanity was probably created by the eridians as well (more on that later)

+the Watcher actually WANTS us to have more Vault Hunters, she warns us that war is coming. all we can assume right now is either the Watcher fucked up big time, or she WANTED all this to happen. More on that later.

+the guardians are preparing for war. the overseer seems especially salty about the cause of it.

+ graveward was killed at some point, so the guardians brought it back using the ships, so that they could use their souls to posses it (further proved by the loot: Grave, relic, and Ward, shield)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 alright holy fuck

that’s a lotta stuff to go over!!! Let’s do this thing.

Let’s start with the Eridians themselves

so. these bad boys. We never really knew much about them, but it was always kinda assumed they’ve been long gone bc of the destroyer, or just out of reach.

now that bl3 dropped we’re supposed to assume that they’re all officially dead bc of Nyriad/the Destroyer

and i am here to say that Nyriad is an unreliable fuckin narrator because she doesn’t know the whole story. in fact, she admits to not knowing everything!!

here’s what I actually think is going on, and yes, I believe 100% the eridians are shady motherfuckers who decided to play god:

the eridians are from a dimension that isn’t ours. we can assume this is a higher dimension, bc of all their weird space/time fuckery, especially the Vaults.

the eridians decided to do some science experiments. they make the vaults and use our dimension to store them and put all their experiments inside. they make guardians to guard their vaults, and they realize they can do better in the ‘making a fully conscious being’ department. they make humanity. they make sirens after experimenting with eridium. they decided to go big or go home, and they make giant monsters. after all that, they realize they fucked up, because there is one monster they cannot contain anymore, after all the shit they put it through

so the eridians realize they done fucked up and escape fully to our dimension, where they placed us and the guardians and all the science experiments they didn’t want to deal with at the moment. The Destroyer follows them

they land on nekrotefeyo, their ‘first landing’ in our dimension (hence the quote above). This, or the eridians had been in our dimension for a while now. Nyriad never says where the Eridians came from, just that they and humanity lived side-by-side, so it’s likely they’d been here for a bit, sending scientists back and forth, just doing their experiments all willy-nilly. And I would bet they created the Destroyer in that time frame.

“for their curiosity, they were rewarded with doom” i believe is a correct statement, but not in the way Nyriad thinks. I think the eridians created the destroyer to see if they could, to test the bounds of what was possible. and it backfired on them in the worst way.

Nyriad also says this, but I have a hard time believing her here

the most this is is speculation, because if none of the civilizations who met the Destroyer had nothing else to pass on, then humanity would not know of their existence. (I mean, she even says ‘SURELY it had different names’) Humanity has no record of other (intelligent) alien life in the universe, or their own civilizations being destroyed by the Destroyer*. It’s just the Eridians. 

*There is a reason for this, but let’s hold on for now.

So why tf do I think humanity was created by the Eridians? well, for one, I like the parallel to them having a god-complex. If they haven’t created humanity, then they definitely fucked with us to create Sirens. Sirens have a strong connection to Eridium and the Vaults (and other Sirens).

second, the murals in (most of) the vaults in bl3

show human-like figures hanging out with kids, and one touching something that seems oddly similar to a relic

like so

(on the left there)

there are also these really tall cloaked figures standing (t-posing) near the end of the mural

and most statues are depicted with robes on

a lot of the human figures in the mural are shown helping each other stand up, coming up from the ground like they’re being created, looking around (up at the sky at rays of light), and standing with a lot of eridian junk (there’s a vault symbol next to one). they’re also not shown to be wearing any sort of clothing, even tho extra steps were gone in to show the robed figures

it reminds me a lot of how a lot of religious texts describe humans as being molded from the earth or dirt or whathaveyou

long story short, it very much reminds of something like a creation myth, so i imagine humanity was, in fact, created by the eridians.

ESPECIALLY this smaller one reaching up to touch the relic

there’s no concrete proof for this, but its a hunch i have after studying this mural for a while. especially after Nyriad constantly questions why the Guardians were made to be on the brink of consciousness. humanity is Guardians 2, electric boogaloo. guardians were a mix of machine and bio goop, we are full bio goop. and that means we are curious, and have emotions, and are very naughty.

that or vice versa, eridians made humanity, realized we weren’t as subservient as they wanted and made the Guardians to fill that niche. Also, most importantly, the Guardians were literally made to be disposable. That’s their entire purpose. Their bodies will degrade, but then their souls will just eventually find another vessel. They’re trapped forever.

EITHER WAY

the Eridians created humanity and the guardians around the same time. enough that the guardians are likely vvvv salty about it.

humanity was made. Sirens came after that, through eridium experiments by the Eridians, explaining their connections to Eridium, as well as the other dimension (the one we are assuming Eridians are from) (think about the Lab Rats and Sirens and such)

so were the eridians preparing for something? war, maybe? possibly. they need firepower and obviously they wouldn’t sacrifice their own people when they have perfectly good constructs, so they’ll use their naughty meat slaves.

but the eridians need more than the sirens. they keep dying, and given the failsafe measures, its hard to keep track of them if one decides to let their powers go, despite the fact they added in, like, a siren gps for sirens to find other sirens and be drawn to them and shit

their big boy guardians, their constructs, aren’t doing enough to defeat their enemy

they start experimenting more with eridium. They learn it has the power to mutate things (mostly elementally, but also causes an increase in size, especially the longer/more they’re exposed to).

they create seraph crystals, condensed eridium, which mutate things at an increased rate. These become discarded eventually for reasons below

they begin finding other kinds of life and mutating the hell out of it using eridium/seraph crystals, in order to create their giant buttfuck squish monsters. These monsters are probably pissed the hell off bc they’re mutated and also probably being attacked by people. so they rampage, killing everything in their path.

the eridians need a way to store the big boys and also take them to the battlefields where they’ll annihilate the enemy, so they create the Traveler and the traveling Vault (which is why there was really nothing of substance in that Vault OKAY TAKE IT). Perhapeth the big flesh monsters mutate more due to being locked inside the Vaults and constantly exposed to eridium/whatever energy is in the other dimension.

Things are going well, and the big flesh monsters help turn the tide of war in favor of the Eridians, until the other party is completely wiped out by what they dubbed the Destroyer. So the eridians decide ‘well, we had our fun, time to put the monsters in their cages and forget about the seraph crystals’.

and most of the big boys, creation and mutation alike, are shoved in their Vaults, guarded by the Guardians so they can’t be released bc of naughty humans. except for one, notably the uncontrollable Destroyer. because it wiped out their enemies, now it wants more, with its insatiable hunger, so it turns its eyes on the Eridians and Nekrotafeyo

sort of explaining why the planet looks like it fucking exploded

the destroyer began to give it the SUCC

but there’s more about that planet

cuz the inside is all glowy and green and you totally know where this is going because i told you im pretty sure the eridians created humanity along with the guardians

i think this is the giant storage unit for all the souls, including the Guardian souls. humanity is depicted being pulled up from the ground in the Vault murals.

lemme explain here

I think nekrotafeyo is where the Guardian souls are stored, like one bigass computer. That’s also, we can assume, where the Eridians got the spark for humanity as well. 

around the game, when u ‘kill’ guardians, you can watch their sparks leave (they’re the red glowy things), they fly upwards and disappear. You can also see blue/green versions of these floating around and not doing anything, notably outside the Rampager’s Vault. 

I am curious if these color differences indicate a difference in wisp type (guardian v human) or if the red means they found another vessel and blue means they chillin. It is interesting to note that the Rampager has the ability to succ the wisps, so its possible its also related to the Destroyer. I mean, its way smaller, but it does IMMEDIATELY start wrecking shit as soon as it leaves the Vault.

anyway there’s more to this, because now we get to talk about ~ghosts~

if u didn’t heed my warning earlier, there are spoilers for guns love and tentacles past this point!! 

DOES THIS LOOK FAMILIAR TO YOU?????

THIS IS JUST HANGIN GOUT IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM BTW

LITERALLY NEKROTAFEYO

and let’s not forget the Halloween event that showed ghosts are a v real thing in the borderlands and not just on carpenter planet

like super real. and the ‘hecktoplasm’ we get fuels a portal to heck. literally another dimension. that BY THE WAY is powered by a Maliwan device. that BY THE WAY is filled with Maliwan troops.

cuz remember on Nekrotafeyo where there are a bunch of Maliwan soldiers, but they’ve all got the DARK prefix to their name? you know how in the proving ground the dark maliwan troops are fighting side by side with a bunch of Guardians?

something fucky is afoot.

reminds me a lot of the terror effect

ANYWAY

i believe nekrotafeyo is where the eridian stored the sparks for both humans and guardians, that’s where they are coming from, and when nyriad questions how tf the guardians got that spark (stolen like fire of the gods), its because they’re slowly gaining sentience over time, probably relating to how many times they’ve been killed (returned to the core and then back again). because i 100% believe the eridians created the guardians just as an endless, permanent workforce, and the guardians that have been disposed of time and time again are starting to realize that and get SALTY. the reason i do not say that the guardians are gaining sentience with regards to how long they’ve been around is bc there’s such a huge difference between the intelligence of The Watcher and just a normal-ass Guardian that I have to assume their developing sentience has a different trigger.

anyway back to the eridians getting the succ from the destroyer. the eridians realize they can’t just run away from it back to their home dimension, maybe bc its tied to that dimension due to the vault mutations (i vaguely remember typhon mentioning that the destroyer is a dimensional horror) so they have to imprison it somehow. How do they do that? well it is fucking terrified of eridium (when you inject the eye of the Destroyer in TPS, it panics and freaks out), probably due to all the fucked up experiments they did on it, so let’s imprison it using that. 

And once we do that, we should probably get the FUCK outta dodge, bc these science experiments are getting c r a z y, let’s remove ourselves from the experiment and observe from beyond

so what do they do?

they get one of their sirens to operate a Machine they built that will send them back home. all of them, at once. we’re going home, fuckers. seeya. and obviously they will not tell humanity, because humanity will want to come with, like a lost puppy. and they will constantly question the other dimension and pester the eridians about it. humanity is annoying and the eridians have 1 big regret, im sure. 

they’re also leaving the Guardians to do their dirty work for them, keep the vaults closed so that humanity won’t open them and send the Eridian’s pissed off creations after them. Also explains why there are no Guardians for the Vault of the Warrior (is an Eridian construct) and why the Traveler had Guardians inside it but not on the outside (to keep it running). The only Vault that made me do a big think is the Vault of Elpis. But more on that later.

so they tell this siren that the machine is going to kill them all, and use their energy to power to machine (lol) to close the Destroyer in Pandora, giving a perfectly good super powered monkey severe anxiety. 

they also (apparently) do this ‘Forgetting’ thing, which Nyriad mentions, which makes humanity forget that we lived side-by-side with the Eridians and also everything about the Destroyer. which is so DUMB of the Eridians. 

because SERIOUSLY people, if you don’t want your idiot children opening something, the one thing you don’t do is make them FORGET WHAT IS INSIDE OF IT SO THEIR CURIOSITY GETS THE BETTER OF THEM WHEN WHAT’S INSIDE OF IT IS LITERALLY ‘HEY, YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE’. literally pandora’s box. LITERALLY- that’s half the reason I think this is all just one big experiment to them. They don’t give a FUCK about us, actually. they just want to see what will happen. they named the fucking planet Pandora ffs.

like YEAH some people would probably try to open it, to try to kill the Destroyer. but guess WHAT FUCKLENUTS we could have had humans working to keep pandora sealed instead just your cryptic ass guardians. CURIOSITY IS A DANGEROUS THING

and listen. there’s a lot of reasons i believe the machine actually sent the eridians home. even if they actually are just morons and thought the Forgetting was the best thing to do for humanity (scoff)

fdgdsffssfgfsg

all-home

there’s more to this

what are we up to? i stopped writing this like 3 days ago and just came back to it

you guys know the whole story now. im not saying my whole entire backstory is fully correct (like, a lot of it is major speculation) but i do firmly believe these few points:

the eridians are from a higher dimension than our own, and came here for science, or to escape the destroyer

nekrotafeyo is named “first landing”

they have an obvious connection to another dimension thru vaults, eridium, and sirens

the eridians either created or experimented with humanity, eventually leading to Sirens

sirens have this connection to both eridium, vaults, and the other dimension

they have similar powers to some Guardians

on Elpis there are ‘pseudo-Sirens’ created upon exposure to chemical sludge near the Vault

Sirens probably are the result of very exact experimentation, meanwhile these fake Sirens are not

The Leech is able to create ‘Anointed’ who have Siren-like powers and turn to eridium when killed

In bl2, the Lab Rats can see the other dimension when phaselocked by Maya after they were experimented on with eridium by Hyperion

unlike other enemies who only see ‘blue’

every vault monster is the way it is because of the eridians doing shit, including the destroyer

the reason the rampager is so angry and begins destroying everything right away? it was mutated by the eridians/being locked in the Vault. It was stuck in there with a bunch of Guardians, probably either conducting more experiments or there as ‘prison guards’

the destroyer appears frightened of slag in TPS when you inject it, but it also gains power from it- pretty similar to Sirens, and if eridium caused these mutations it could explain the fear

eridium causes LOTS of mutations as we can see throughout the history of the borderlands games. i’ve written 2-3 long-ass posts about this now, i think y’all get the idea lol

terry, badass wildlife, slag/burning psychos, etc

we don’t know how long the destroyer/rampager/etc was exposed to eridium. We’ve only seen (relatively) small doses/exposure times

the eridians lied to Nyriad and are in their home dimension right now, probably laughing at us. or at least like ‘holy shit quick write this down’. this is probably all an experiment to them

I just have this FEELING

so sudden, and new

but really tho

The Overseer basically TELLS us that the Eridians are still out there somewhere

she calls them her masters, talks about how they left the ‘house’, then talks as though they can still see us in the present

Actually you know what, let’s talk all about the Overseer’s lines now because they’re dummy important

copy and pasting this because i forgot...

“vault hunter, I thought you might show up sooner or later. so naughty your species, so curious. the vault of vaults has been opened and IT has been released. prove your worth and I will reveal why the masters made me wait for you”

so IT is most likely the Destroyer. i have the firm belief that Tyreen just ‘slipped its chains’, as Nyriad puts it in her log right before the fight

like r u seriously telling me the eater of worlds is the size of a single story house lmao

NO

bigg

‘why the masters made me wait for you’ “MADE ME” I get the feeling she is here against her will, until her mission is completed

and that mission is to see which humans can pass the trials/the execute the trials

why? we’ll get to that. but she even hints that the reward may not be what we want.

“naughty humans have opened the vault of vaults but the masters will determine who is at fault. until next time, warrior”

so the second time she references her ‘masters’

Vault of Vaults is the vault of the destroyer. which is interesting to me. I guess it makes sense, is a big vault with other, tinier vaults on the surface.

I really wish we got an explanation as to what the Vault of the Architects was. might even explain the pyramid key ;-; fuckin pyramid key

so when i first heard this i thought there was some sorta ‘the masters will determine who is at fault’ rift between humans (the calypso twins or the vault hunters)

but now after learning more i realize this is probably between humans and guardians

are humans at fault for being naughty, or are the guardians for failing their only purpose?

i get the feeling the eridians will blame the guardians. the less favorite child :(

“long ago there was a brief spark, the first vault was opened, a light in the dark. a riddle, yes? perhaps it will unravel next time, hunter”

sooo im pretty bad with riddles

either this takes place long before our recollection of events, or this takes place around when typhon opened the first vault on promethea

what i think this means is possibly the beginning of Guardians gaining sentience

nyriad describes the smarter guardians as ones having a ‘spark’. i believe this is what the Overseer is referencing here- their gaining consciousness

THAT, orrrrr the guardians saw themselves fail at their only task and began to realize they could do more with their lives

failure breeds success, after all

“so, you’ve returned. persistent, yes. or stubborn? or both? are you so desperate to prove yourself?”

the differences between humanity and the guardians. humanity has strong desires/emotions, the guardians don’t

or, at least, they didn’t.

“we were created for one purpose by our masters- and we couldn’t even do that right (laughs). but don’t blame us! when a cog breaks, point your finger at the artificer, not the cog! are you a cog, Vault hunter, or an artificer? Or both? prove yourself worthy.”

lots to digest here

one purpose - to keep the Vaults closed

the guardians recognize they are only cogs in a machine, that they’re only tools, and it seems that they’re becoming bitter

‘point your finger at the artificer’ obviously blame the Eridians, not the guardians

‘are you a cog... or an artificer. or both?” i think is very important. i think this is another hint that humanity was created by the eridians

‘or an artificer, or both’ showing that humanity can step out from the shadow of whatever the eridians planned for them and make their own choices/destinies. the guardians can’t. ... yet.

“pity us not, though the world has been broken. those who sleep will soon be awoken. not long now, seeker.”

‘though the world has been broken’ - either bc the Eridians left them/the Vaults have been opened

more importantly “those who sleep will soon be awoken”

what i think this means, personally:

Graveward is a vault monster that appeared deceased (already killed or just died of natural causes) when we got there

but it was combined with a bunch of ship parts

this is confirmed both by the art book and by just LOOKING AT HIM lmao

these ship parts are likely a way to resurrect him by allowing the guardians to posses him

guardians are biomechanical constructs, so it makes sense that they would begin scavenging ship parts from eden-6 to fit to graveward

so they can have a stronger body to pilot

something had to be pulling those ships in to crash

also, this means BALEX didn’t do anything wrong lol

when you get to the vault, tannis is confused, because there should be a vault monster, but there’s only guardians

that is, until you kill Grave and Ward

they (and a bunch of other Guardian souls) then possess Graveward, bringing him to life- or, awakening him

what i think this means: the guardians are going to start possessing more and more stuff

why this means ‘those who sleep will soon be awoken’ possibly vault monsters who are killed aren’t actually killed, they’re just put in a sleeping state and the guardians will be using their tech to control them with guardian souls

the guardians stuck in that big ol computy machine somewhere (god pls let it be nekrotefeyo) are ‘sleeping’ and by taking control of those vault monsties, they will be able to wake up and pilot their own bodies

that is, there are too many souls, too little bodies, so they need more vessels

tl;dr: MORE GUARDIANS

also can we talk about how Sirens can absorb guardian souls pls?? bc what the FUCK tannis

ugh how fuckin’ creepy would it be if the eridians made the fleshy Vault Monsters and used the guardian souls to puppeteer them

seriously though, Tannis absorbed a bunch of Guardian souls why are we not talking about this

how was that not an important plot point

is tannis going to be okay?? i love tannis. please don’t hurt her. are guardian souls just pure energy?? what does it mean??? GEARBOX-

“the eridians were our masters, but we failed them. they gave the order then silence. they VANISHED. such is our fate, Vault Hunter, server to a master who has left the house so long ago. prove to me that you deserve an introduction.”

i think its really important that the Overseer doesn’t say the Eridians are DEAD. instead, she says they just ‘vanished’ or ‘left the house’

i think this further proves they’re still out there somewhere. probably watching over us like creeps

literally from the new DLC... come on. COME ONNNN

also confirmation the eridians are the ‘masters’ the Overseer is referring to all the time

side note i have the game sitting open on my other screen and wainwright just asked someone to drink him under the table what the f-

it does sound like they’ve been forgotten as even servants to the Eridians because she specifically says “were” and “but we failed them” probably meaning the Eridians were their masters UNTIL the guardians failed to keep the Great Vault from being opened

though i do think “prove to me that you deserve an introduction” is interesting

like do we not deserve one yet? well, not until we complete the trials she’s supposed to test us with

“we were supposed to guard the Great Jail. but no quarter for servants who fail. but servant, that is not quite right. ‘Prisoner’. that is what i am. Until next time, adventurer.”

kinda repeating what we learned from the above quote

‘Great Jail’ they put the Destroyer in evil baby jail for his crimes

no quarter for servants who fail - yeah the eridians are like ‘wow you guys suck, fuck you guys’

‘prisoner, that is what i am’. the guardians are all stuck in their roles. they’re trapped here

“a final chance to prove yourself. but will your reward be what you desire? a prisoner in a cell staring out at the fathoms of a sleeping universe. after a time, how would you know if you were prisoner or master? consider this while you prove yourself one last time.”

‘will your reward be what you desire’? we learn that the reward is actually being a guardian, so... it’s not great, if our deductions hold any water

‘a prisoner in a cell staring out at the fathoms of a sleeping universe’ - what the Overseer probably sees her position as guardian of the trials as a prisoner- same with all the other guardians stuck watching over the Vaults

i do also think this may be in reference to the fact she’s stuck in this dimension with us while the eridians ran away

“I am a prisoner, but you, vault hunter? what are you? hunter, warrior, hero? no matter what name i use, you return to prove yourself time and time again. but prove it to whom, i wonder? perhaps you seek a greater audition”

‘hunter, warrior, hero’ note she calls us by a bunch of titles throughout her greetings/goodbyes. but we are not satisfied by any of them

clearly we’re not proving ourselves to HER, since she questions who we are trying to prove it to

‘greater audition’ is likely in front of the ‘masters’ who are the eridians. remember, we have to prove to her first that we are worthy of an audience

“it is done and my masters have taken note. would you like to know what they told me right before they vanished? ‘beware the vault hunters, they will take your kind’s place’. now i am free, and you are chained. until next time, guardian

the eridians know what we’ve done- now humanity takes the place of the guardians

“beware the Vault Hunters, they will take your kind’s place” seems like a pretty fucked up thing to say

but also, more proof the Eridians knew what the FUCK was up, kyle

humanity is just guardians 2: electric boogaloo

the trails were ultimately a test to see if we were up to the task

and now that humanity (or, at least, the Vault Hunters) has taken the place of the normal Guardians, the others are free to do... something

what... i wonder.

i do think it is interesting that the Overseer is pretty morally gray here. like, she’s trapped here to oversee the trials for however long the Eridians have been gone, to see if humans are truly the successors to the Guardians

she obviously doesn’t want to be here, calling herself a prisoner

she even warns us that the reward won’t be something we want- i imagine she might not exactly be able to tell us WHY we will not like it, she is being watched by her masters (the Eridians)

like, i get WHY she doesn’t tell us what’s going to happen. if i were trapped there, I’d do the same thing

but here’s the thing

since we are (we assume) fully squishy and not mechanical in any way, we still have our free will (unlike, we can assume, the guardians)

so we’re not literally trapped in one job forever- we can choose whatever we want to do

so WHAT exactly do i think the guardians are going to do? well, they’ve got an entire army’s worth of souls, they’re resurrecting dead Vault Monsters, and they can modify their bodies now to become more weapon-like

what do I think is happening? The Guardians are preparing for war with the Eridians- they want to destroy their creators, and with us becoming the new guardians, there’s this loophole that allows the old Guardians to finally, FINALLY do whatever they want

(Is Fl4k supposed to be foreshadowing for this? Yeah, I believe they are!!)

+ also before i forget: the entire thing about there being a literal Fallen Guardian we have to kill

i believe this has to do with the fact when you kill it, it drops money. since we can assume the trials are crafted/designed by the Eridians, we can assume the Fallen Guardians are apart of that design as well. It drops money, which probably shows how it’s become corrupted compared to the other guardians. it has desires (collecting wealth). Since the Guardians are inspired by angels (especially in TPS), it’s probably supposed to be a direct callback to that

alright so I think you all are probably like CRUDDY THE PRE-SEQUEL

and like, yeah, that’s what i’ve been building up to the whole time

The Watcher!!!

“War is coming, and you’re going to need all the Vault Hunters you can get”

Let’s just look at the Watcher’s actions throughout TPS and Tales (well, her inactions in Tales, as well as 3)

In tps, the Watcher brings Zarpedon to the Vault, allows her to see the future, and creates the Lost Legion

so we all assume that yes, she’s trying to stop the Elpis Vault (and, by extension, Pandora) from being opened

but here is the thing. the lil thing. the BIG thing actually.

she stops us from killing zarps in the BEGINNING of the game

in the middle-ish when we kill zarp for realsies, she is NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Zarp lets Jack know where the Vault actually is and little miss alien face IS NOWHERE AROUND

when you are inside eleseer, lilith mentions that the Guardians there actually let her through, like they WANTED her to be there

now let’s remember Lilith’s actions in tps (and remember that she is IN NO WAY at fault here. jack is a dickbag. you try to tell me this is lily’s fault and i’ll kick your shins into your asshole)

while jack is seeing the future about the Vault of the Warrior, she punches the treasure of Eleseer into his face. this cuts off the vision, so unlike Zarps all Jack sees is that he opens the Vault of the Warrior. Nothing about the Destroyer destroying everything.

and still, the Watcher is nowhere to be found.

So Jack opens the Vault of the Warrior, Lilith learns she can activate the Vault Map, the events of Tales happens, and Lilith has Athena tied up and is about to shoot her

WHEN FINALLY

FUCKING. FINALLY.

THE WATCHER SHOWS UP

and tells us that ‘we’re going to need all the vault hunters we can get’

now let’s TAKE A STEP BACK HERE

obviously. OBVIOUSLY.

this is pretty backwards from what the Guardians are actually meant to do: keep the Vaults closed. If she wanted us to NOT open the Vault of the Destroyer, she probably should’ve just come right out and told us what’s up. 

no, I think she 100% wanted the events to happen in the way they did.

Because remember, after this, SHE NEVER SHOWS UP AGAIN!!!

not in tales, where she could have stopped the Vault of the Traveler from opening (in fact she could have let Athena die and lowered the team’s chances of defeating the Vault Monster with whatever canon choices there are), not in 3 when she could have prevented the twins from doing any number of things they did, not to give advice to lily on sanc-iii, not during Commander Lily (even though she’s mentioned briefly) she did FUCK ALL

she did J A C K S H I T

it’s because she wanted this to happen. she WANTS the vaults open.

why? well, see above. The Guardians want the Vault Monsters all killed so they can resurrect them as big boy guardians

and that war she’s talking about? it wasn’t the war in bl3. That’s why she never shows her face. she’s talking about war with the Eridians. 

Which is probably bl4.

alright im tired. eridians bad. guardians okay-ish. they might try to kill us all and use our bodies as vessels, who knows.

anywaY this was all an elaborate plan for me to explain the backstory of h2o au and why magic is real in the borderlands universe and why they decide to FIGHT- [gets dragged off computer by a cane]

wow this is a 36 page document, why can’t i be this enthusiastic about school??

#borderlands #bl3 #lmao

[fuck-customers]

I actually have a few Fuck Customers, and 1 Fuck Coworker stories.

The Fuck Coworker story:

The psychotic, hypocritical, Preacher's Wife I work with has been saying very racist things against the Asian community since the pandemic started. I finally snapped and said "The Coronavirus is no excuse to be racist." and "The Chinese have suffered enough." to her. She replied with "NO THEY HAVE NOT!". This woman is supposed to be a Christian! The Bible teaches "Love thy neighbor!" not "Be a racist bitch!". I reported her to the store director... But I'm not sure if he talked to her...

Now to the Fuck Customer stories:

1. At the beginning of all this insanity, I was taking an older gentleman's groceries out to his car. I commented "Woah! This is crazy!" and he WENT OFF ON ME. Literally saying "You stupid, punk, kids! You should be grateful that you've got a job!" and bitching for nearly 10 minutes about how I'm complaining about working. He even called my boss and told him that I was complaining about having to work. I had to explain to my boss what I actually said. I wanted to tell the customer "Which job, asshole? The one where I come to work and bust my ass during a pandemic that puts my health, and the health of my grandmother at risk? Or the one where I go home to and take care of my, aging, grandmother who has health issues ON TOP of the fact that BOTH of our immune systems are slightly compromised due to the depression caused by my mother's recent death?"

2. A few weeks ago, we changed hour hours to open at 8 a.m. I had just clocked in at 7. I'm standing there with the Preacher's Wife working on my morning check list when the Bread Guy goes to the door to go to his truck. He talks to someone outside and a minute later, an old woman comes in to the store. We ask her "Can we help you?". She asks "Can I just do my shopping for an hour?". We tell her no, that we're not open yet, and she goes back outside to wait. I wanted to look at her and go "Are you fucking kidding me? Do you not see the sign on the door that says we open at 8? That means WE OPEN AT 8! That precious hour I have before you bastards flood the store is meant for sanitation! Now, respect hour hours of operation and STAY THE FUCK OUTSIDE!".

3. A woman called the store before we opened to talk about the Curbside Service. No big deal, right? The office manager is the one on the phone with her. The woman explains that she doesn't have internet or a smart phone, so she wants us to take her list, rewards card and bank card, and do her shopping for her. The office manager asks the store director if we'd even be able to do that. He has her tell the woman that we don't have any spare employees that could do that. The woman flips out and yells at the office manager "IF I GET THE CORONAVIRUS, I'M SUING YOU!" before hanging up. The store director, Preacher's Wife, store trainer, and I are all standing there as this happens... We all got a good chuckle from that. Like, seriously? How the fuck do you think that will go down in court? I'll tell you, it won't. We're not responsible for your stupidity.

4. This last Sunday (on 04/19), we had a truck come in that actually had toilet paper. Not really a big deal, we knew it would sell fast... But, we also have a limit on paper products. That means, if you want toilet paper or paper towels (or whatever), you had better choose the 1 you want most, because that's all you're allowed to get. We have signs EVERYWHERE on that aisle. An old woman came in and had toilet paper, paper towels, napkins and tissues in her cart. Our Social Monitor was making her rounds, saw the woman and told her about the limit. This woman, literally, THREW A TANTRUM. She began throwing stuff onto the shelves, cussing out the Social Monitor, and yelling "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WIPE MY ASS?!". Without missing a beat, the Social Monitor tells her to pick the toilet paper. A couple of minutes later, she comes up to the register, still throwing a shit fit. She cusses out the cashier and throws her groceries back into her cart before I even have a chance to bag them. The transaction ends and I politely ask her "Would you like some help out with that?", to which she yells "NO!" and storms out of the store with her cart.

5. Just today (04/21), I had 2 old ladies make me want to vomit. Every day, the courtesy clerks are supposed to deep clean the restrooms at 7 am, 10:30 am, 1:30 am, and 5:30 pm. Because I'm a girl, it often takes me FOREVER to get the men's room done (because there's ALWAYS someone in there!)... But today, the ladies won the trophy for being gross. At the 7 am cleaning, an old woman came into the room before I could finish. She does her business, then goes straight for the door. I notice she's wearing gloves, but I still got grossed out. The least she could have done is wash her gloves before touching the handle that I had just cleaned. A few minutes later, I'm called to the front to sack a bit. I tell the cashier (the Preacher's Wife) about the woman and that she might want to wear gloves when dealing with her groceries because I can guarantee that she did not change her gloves after using the restroom. I straight up refuse to sack for the woman and walk off the front so I can go mop the restrooms. A few hours later, at the 1:30 cleaning, I'm working hard on the women's room again. Another old woman comes in, does her business, then goes straight for the door. This woman was NOT wearing gloves. This time, I was so grossed out, I literally yelled "REALLY? We're in the middle of a pandemic and you people still REFUSE to wash your hands?" as the door closed behind her. Of course, after both women did that, I sanitized the door at least 3 times each. You people are told day in, day out, to wash your fucking hands. There are signs on the mirrors that say something along the lines of "WASH YOUR HANDS like you've been handling jalapenos and you need to change your contact lenses!" with a picture of jalapenos on them! I understand teaching kids to do it. They're kids! They need to learn! WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO REMIND ADULTS TO WASH THEIR HANDS!

And trust me, those are just the stories that stick out the most. I've got tons of others involving people trying to make this thing a religious and political thing... Including 1 old woman who told me "I'm ready to go to heaven!" with a straight face...

#tw #trigger warning #submissions #fuck customers #fuck co-workers #fuck retail #fuck coworkers #submission