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got-svt · 3 years

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get to know me tag

tagged by: @lovingyu04 <33 (tysm for tagging me 🥺💘) tagging: @happyvitamin @seokcalibur @dvoz-writes @pilliepollie @acatnamedpusheen @eversoeric @starlightlillies @jenosteponme @cheolright @daisyhwa and anyone else who feels like doing it ( + I'm sorry if you've already been tagged) ! <3

rules: answer the questions and tag ten blogs you’d like to get to know better

name: you can call me ren, it’s just a nickname but I don’t really feel like using my full name yet,, idk why I'm just not comfortable enough ig??

pronouns: she/her

star sign: sun in Virgo, moon in Libra, Sagittarius rising (someone more knowledgeable in astrology pls educate me on this idk what it means but it seems v interesting ;-;)

height: around 5′1 (which is I think 155 cm) yes im smol, im baby, i have long accepted that i will never feel the air up there:(

time currently: 9 pm,, I’m supposed to be enrolling for classes but here I am

sexuality: straight, unfortunately

nationality: i’m a filipina !! (where are my filos at,, entering our ???th lockdown kshsdj)

favorite animal: hamsters!! they are just vv adorable,, I used to have one when I was a lot younger so maybe I’m a little biased haha she never really had a name apparently,, I just called her hamster (-1 for creativity)

favorite ice cream flavor: coffee! I will take coffee in any form tbh,, though I do love cookie dough and strawberry as well !!

favorite fictional universe: this is a tough one bec so many come in mind,, the hp universe is obvs a classic and extra not so fun fact: the first fanfic I ever wrote was set in the hp universe (I was 15 and it kinda sucked,, it was 5 years ago so I like to think that I improved). I also really like the percy jackson universe and the atla universe

average hours of sleep: hmmm maybe around 6-8 ishh? I sleep at around 2 am and wake up at 8 or 10 so probably that?? I do take a lot of afternoon naps soooo---

last song you listened to: mitski’s two slow dancers!! such a good song to get u in the feels,, and very good for some angst insp !! but if we’re talking groups,, it would have to be wayv’s (kings of the hoe anthem) love talk bec for some reason I can’t get the chorus out of my head (tOuCh mE tEAse mE fEel mE uP) >:(((

last movie you watched: 5 cm per second !! I’ve been trying to watch every single makoto shinkai film <//33 I’ve seen most of them but my fave so far is the garden of words (wc is where I get the photos for the headers of my fics/masterlist)

last show you binged: the last show I finished was the entirety of the Reply series (if you’ve seen this,, esp 88, pls talk to me about it I have so many thoughts ugh) but rn I’m in the process of watching haikyuu after my friends bullied me into watching,, I love it so far I’m an oikawa stan <33

last thing you searched up: how many cups of coffee is considered dangerous,, bec I just had about four cups today and I was getting v nervous for no reason,, turns out it was just the caffeine;(

cats or dogs: cats! but my fam has dogs (don’t get me wrong I love them with my whole heart) bec my sister is allergic to cats:((

dream job: uhhhh would you look at that...it’s the pressure....uHM honestly idkk,, and I really should bec I’m in my third year of uni adhlksd but maybe something in publishing or advertising???

when you made this blog: this sideblog (got-svt) was made 01 Jan 2021, so three (??) weeks ago !! it hasn’t been long hahaha but my main blog (multivibin) has been around for about a year now

why you made this blog: I've had so many ideas for fics swimming in my head for quite a while now so I figured I’d make use of it and let them see the light of day hahaha

reason for url: it’s just for my two ults, seventeen and got7,, though I’ll be writing for other groups too,, I also just thought got-seventeen rolled off the tongue really nicely:)

that’s it, I hope this helps everyone get to know me a little better,, my dms are always open or send an ask if u want to talk ! <33

#ren rambles #get to know me tag #eek this was so much fun tysm for tagging me #can't wait to read everyone's answers #🥺💘#this will also be my 50th post on this blog so that's pretty cool

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imagine-loki · 5 years

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Sweet Pea

TITLE: Sweet Pea CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One Shot AUTHOR: marvelgirlonamarvelworld (sideblog) ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki taking care of his girl during her period. He’s super attentive, comforting her and doing everything possible to ease the ache and discomfort.

RATING: T+ NOTES/WARNINGS: FLUFF, period fluff, some language, angst (if you squint super super hard).

A/N2: So this was a request. Thought I’d also share it here :) Thank you for reading!

The tower was silent. Pleasantly mute and was only disturbed by the distant echoes of leather soles striding mightily against the tiles.

The rays of midday crept through the floor to ceiling windows as the slender figure swaggered down the hallway. The green pine cape, fastened by the golden engraved shoulder blades, swayed to and forth; already foretelling royalty was amongst them all.

Promptly his strides came to halt, and a shimmer of light formed between his palms. With petals as white as purity and as bright as her soul, the trickster couldn’t help but sigh and continue to smile. A large bouquet of flowers lay carefully cradled on his grasp, while a dreamy teenage smile softly formed on his face.

Sweet peas. Her favourites.

Loki was anxious, delighted and dazzled to have finally arrived. To come back to her, after weeks seeming like years on a mission gone sideways at the last minute. It had all been wrapped up in day five; however, somebody, whose seldom could not possibly fit in the tower itself, had forgotten to secure the perimeter and bug all enemy radio frequencies. But that was a tale for another time.

There were other matters at hand; to come back to her arms as promised a handful weeks back.

Stealthily the door was pushed ajar…

Darkness engulfed it all. Only shadows cast by the outer lights formed and danced as Loki tiptoed inside; already glimpsing a lump hidden beneath a gray ocean of plush blankets; already discerning and savoring the bitter tang of sickness and ache dancing around.

It amused him to see her asleep. It didn’t seem right, it was midday after all. Something was quite off. Yet Loki was unable to determine with certainty what it was aside from the latter.

The edge of the queen bed shifted and dipped under his weight as the loving-foolish grin never diminished. The delicate floral array remained in his sweaty left palm as he pulled the blanket slightly to the side. And Loki was greeted by a low-pitched mewl and throaty groan.

An airy chuckle escaped his mouth and rested his palm on her hip bone. He could discern her figure curled tight against the pillows, head buried beneath, and limbs tangled between the sheets.

“Loki?” Her call was a murmur, sleepy, anguished, and muffled against the plush feathered thing. Through the shadows, the peeking silhouette of her face met his gaze while his hand rested on her hip. He was unable, however, to notice the faint glimmer and damp streaks on her cheeks, as well as the soft tremble of her lips or the incessant desperation deep within. “Is that…you?”

Her figure eased under his morphine touch and turned to him, craving for more; wanting to feel his magic radiating from his fingertips, desperately seeking to make the pain ease away.

“Yes,” he responded while imagining her sleepy features now hidden by the dark. “If it wasn’t for Stark I would’ve returned to you sooner as I had promised, darling. Please believe me when I say I will make it up to you, love.”

His voice brought her taxing mind some comfort, distracted her from the ache; the incessant pulses and stings as if her insides were being twisted and needle pinched, as if her back had been replaced by large spikes digging at her insides. Rapidly she swallowed the sudden lump, already feeling tears welling and threatening to spill flush. Damn hormones had her in a wreck; got her craving his sweetness just as much as it infuriated her. She was a mess, good thing he couldn’t see it yet.

“Good thing you’re here now,” her voice was a mere uneven whisper before hugging the pillow flush and in the process…coiling away from his numbing touch. The room was so cold, it only made the pain worse. “I missed you…so much.”

The smile which once was was no more upon hearing her message travel through the void. If it hadn’t been for his enhanced audition Loki would’ve completely missed it. He knew all too well that tone. Something was wrong.

Just as fast the bouquet of blooms was placed on the nightstand and the dim yellow light from their night lamp flickered to life. His face was an anxious grimace as his eyes scanned her figure, noticing her body slightly shiver and her cheek glisten.

“Darling? Are you alright?” He asked, gazing to the barely visible girl buried beneath pillows and blankets. “You’re shaking like a leaf!”

A groan was her only response. The cramps and back pain were too much to bear, drained her energy away. She had not the strength to muster anything but unintelligible gibber against the pillow.

“Love,” Loki uncovered her body and inclined closer, his hands desperately seeking to cradle her face. “You’re worrying me, speak to me,“ with no effort Loki sat her body, her back resting against two pillows, and his lips met her crown. “What is the matter? Have you fallen ill?”

“I don’t know,” her cheeks flamed. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his chest. The sensation of her insides being twisted and the shame impeded her to tell; although his coos and gentleness made her heart swell. She felt like crying again. “I guess, I just don’t feel so well today, that’s all. I’ll be fine.”

Loki closed his eyes and sighed, his hands gently stroked through her hair as frustration seeped through his veins. Her reasoning was nothing but a chain of little half-truths and half-lies. It anguished his heart to see her in such a way.

“Please do not lie to me darling,” Loki implored and cupped her cheeks again. Her puffy eyes were fogged, glazed and overwhelmed. And Loki couldn’t help but kiss away the trails of tears before stroking her nose with his. “Speak to me. It mars me to see you suffering. Let me help you.”

Her lips turned to a pout. She appreciated his caring but his insistence was more than annoying. She’d rather drown in her own suffering just as much as she’d love to have him spoil her…again the stupid fling of emotions. Truth be told, as she looked into his worried eyes, she had no clue what she wanted at all.

“It hurts,” she mumbled and continued to pout before burying his face in the comfort of his chest; shielding her telling eyes from his scrupulous stare. “It hurts so much.”

“What hurts, love?” Loki urged her to go on, already searching through his memory for every single healing and protecting spell to make all her ills disappear for eternity. “Speak to me.”

“Everything,” she rasped. “My back, my stomach…these cramps are too much. I feel like I’m bearing the fucking antichrist!” she cried out. “I’m tired, and I want ice cream, and I wanna sleep without pain just for one night!”

Loki fell silent for a never-ending minute. He was unable to find words fitting to solace her woes. He had nothing but a vague idea of the meaning behind her cry out, all thanks to unintentionally listening to her and the red-head assassin converse about it as he passed by the lounge once; however, seeking a much detailed explanation of it seemed unfit in her frail state. And leaving her while he searched for the red-head was out of the question.

“Aw, darling,” Loki pulled her aching body and cradled her on his lap. Gentle kisses were peppered all about, stealing some giggles and smiles from her mouth. He’d at least made her smile. “How bad?”

She growled against his chest. Her patience was running thin with his unnecessary questioning. “How bad did it hurt when you apparently tied your testicles to that goat to amuse a giantess, hm?”

Touché.

Loki pursed his trembling lips, trying his hardest not to laugh at her call out but failing miserably thus chuckling wholeheartedly. Her angry fit was quite humorous to him, somewhat endearing. Though as much as the desire to disprove such unsettling tale nagged him to the bone, he refrained from such. For an idea loomed in the corners of his memory, a way to make it all better, something he knew with all certainty would please her.

Securing her body in his hold, the tricksters stood up and carried the girl across the room where a closed white door stood.

“Loki what are you doing?” Her arms draped around his neck and peeked to his face. Flickers of adoration and tenderness danced in his eyes as well as in his one-sided smile. “Where are we going?”

“I am tending to the needs of my queen,” he surmised as the door opened on its own, just as the white lights blinked in contrast to the dark. Crescendos of his strides ricocheted against the tiled walls and ceased after a brief stance. “I have learned a warm bath works wonders to ease away the pain.”

Loki gently sat her on the counter before turning his attention to the already filled bathtub. A mixture of herbal and floral scents emanated from it, filling the white-tiled room from corner to corner, and drawing ecstatic sighs from her mouth just as it enticed her hormones to act out.

Her eyes were drawn back to the trickster prince as a shimmer of light formed in his hand before fading just as fast. Her hands covered her mouth while the tears made themselves present again, and this time she allowed them to spill. For between his thumb and index was a heartfelt offering, a single white flower.

She took the little blossom before throwing her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his neck. “Oh, Loki…Thank you.”

“Anything for you my dearest,” he confessed, gently caressing her back and momentarily losing himself in the tropical scent of her hair. “Anything,” he repeated again, before undoing the embrace and proceeding to offer to undress her. For he was unsure if she’d be comfortable with it given the situation. Though as for him, his love for her outweighed anything and everything. Loki was willing to do everything for her, no matter what it was.

“You don’t…you don’t have to. I…I can manage…” she squeaked while gazing down to the flower resting on her palm. She wished him to stay, but it was messy, too messy, not to mention the bloating, and that is what frightened her; his reaction, what he’d say or rather think. “It’s just…a a lot of blood and that is really,” she chuckled nervously, “it’s not pretty. I’m not pretty…like this.”

In all honesty, who is ever looking their prettiest when the time of the month comes? Nobody.

“Darling,” Loki cupped her cheek, “I have been by your side long enough to know, that there is nothing at all in the realms, that would incite me to see you with any lesser idolatry and beauty.” Never in the time that had passed had Loki ever developed the courage to confess how great his love was for her until now. “Blood is nothing but stardust coursing through your body. And it is more than normal what you’re going through now. Seeing you as you are will make love you no lesser than I loved you yesterday. I will only love you more than I did then.”

There were no words to be said, only tears and a smile which spoke times ten. His declaration had stolen her breath, quieted say. She wanted to say ‘I love you’ but… one can only say those words so many times before such deep-seated message expanded and turned into something bigger, something impossible to express in such short sentence. It would not encase even a third of it.

With a kiss to her forehead, Loki carried her body bridal-style to the tub, though not before dissipating all her clothes, and lowered her to the warm scented pool. Pale pink foam floated and covered her to the shoulder as she laid back and closed her eyes.

This was indeed heaven.

The concoction he’d created, with multiple herbs and flowers, was a secret remedy taught by mother; great to ease the body, though, never once had he imagined it’d ever come in handy. And as he sat at the edge, massaging her shoulders and bathing her, the ethereal prince made a mental note to thank the Allmother for her teachings.

Loki continued on to massage her scalp before conjuring a fine silver bowl to use and wash away the remnants of soap with clean water. “Feeling better?”

“Much better,” she yawned and smiled. Good thing the bath session was over.

“Come, love,” Loki urged her to stand and covered her body with a towel before carrying her back. “I presume you’d like to wear one of those Midgardian shirts I do not use.”

She hummed in agreement. “This time I can manage.”

“Very well, dear,” he glanced down to her puffy eyes as he approached the other side of the room where another door stood. Loki placed her back on her feet and allowed her to venture into the closet while he patiently waited. “As you wish.”

Leather boots to the side and armor no longer on his body, except for his comfortable cotton Asgardian clothing, Loki patiently idled for her reappearance. He allowed his eyes to wander but were quickly drawn back upon hearing the door click. And that dreamy teenage smile that’d withered before, resurfaced again as she walked out with his shirt and a pair of baggy sweats.

The soft smile of her face made his knees almost give in as he stood before her. Right away he pulled her body flush to his. “I missed you too, darling. So so so much…”

He’d forgotten to say it back. It’d been so long, and to finally be home and have her in his arms was more than amazing. It was heaven.

Loki undid their embrace and rapidly kissed her lips. He’d almost forgotten how tender and fitting they were to him. “come on, love,” he stepped away, the flavor of her lips lingering as he directed her to bed. “You need to rest.”

“Only if you stay with me,” she said, sitting on the mattress.

“I have no desire to leave you.”

Back in bed, beneath comfortable plush and fluffy pillows. Loki sat on a chair while his hand remained entwined with hers. A physical assurance while patiently waiting for slumber to take her from him. For this time the pain was lesser, almost nonexistent, a discomfort slowly turning to nothing but a memory. And only with her placidly resting would he be able to feel his heart settling back in his rib cage, would feel his breath return to his chest.

With her head against the plush feathered thing, her eyes lazily wandered to the nightstand where a delicate garland of sweetly scented flowers laid forgotten. They were her favorites.

“What it is, dear? Is the pain not ceasing?”

“They’re beautiful,” her eyes never drifted from the flowers.

Loki followed the trail of her glare and reached for the bouquet and offered it to her, his cheeks turned to a warm blush. “I’d forgotten I brought these,” his free hand lightly scratched the back of his head before chuckling and averting her gaze. “Sweet peas, your favourites as I recall.”

Their hands parted and grasped the floral array. The sweet scent emanating from them made a tear roll down her cheek, made her heart jump and swell against her rib cage. Gosh was his awful sweetness getting the best of her.

It even surfaced the twisted idea it all was a dream. It rattled her soul to even imagine the possibility. This all was too good to be true.

Sitting upright, her arms desperately sought the trickster. This was very much real. And once again, their lips danced together while the saltiness of astray tears slipped through and danced between them.

“Thank you,” she whispered, their foreheads rested against one another’s. “Thank you for all of this. I have no idea what I did to deserve you…thank you.”

“Anything for you, darling.” He stated with a smile before urging her to lay back. “Anything to see that smile never fade from you, dear.”

Just as the pain was a distant reminder, so was the once heavy atmosphere as well. For now swayed the sweet richest hints of green and touches spicy floral tenderness while the prince sat there, contemplating her lashes flutter until slumber overcame her body.

“Anything for my sweet pea.”

#Loki #Lover #Angst #Others #Submitted one shot #submission #sweet pea #marvelgirlonamarvelworld

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theradioghost · 5 years

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I know youve talked about them in the past, but I don't always catch the names of the books you've been reading, and I am also gay and have too much free time. Could you list the actual titles of the books in your last post, if you have time? Thank you

@celestial-tendencies asked:

give us the book titles,,,,,,,,,,,, i need more gay fiction,,,,,,,,

@drowninginstarlights replied to your post “I’m so glad I have the energy to read and to look for books again...”

Oh I want to read every single one of those oh my god they sound awesome

HELLO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE FIRST OF THESE ASKS but yes here are the Gay Books!!!!!

everything here is queer, it is adult fiction and not YA, it is not romance novels (there’s nothing wrong with romance fiction in general but GOD a lot of gay romance novels are skeevy as hell bc they’re written by and for straight women) and I generally look for the most intersectional Gay Shit that I can find. also a lot of it is under five bucks if you’re willing to buy things from the Kindle store

American Hippo (collection of the novellas River of Teeth and Taste of Marrow) -- morally ambiguous Crime Squad of hippo-riding cowboys do a Swamp Heist in alt-history late 1800s Louisiana

The Bulletproof Spy novella series -- Man From UNCLE-esque paranormal Cold War espionage thriller where a Russian spy and an American spy are forced to work together. but also the American is just straight up a werewolf

A Study In Honor -- Sherlock Holmes but set in a dystopian future America, the main characters are queer black women and Watson has a ROBOT ARM

The Lovelace & Wick series -- a demon named Iago Wick grows tired of tempting humans on behalf of Hell and sets out to make his last job one to remember -- and just maybe to convince his partner Dante Lovelace to run off with him -- but first, he has to avoid the demon hunters on his tail. Feat. some REALLY GOOD steampunk Gothic Science Wives

Deadline -- After a failed forbidden ritual gets her excommunicated, blood witch Harrietta “Harry” Lee takes a dangerous job for a powerful family of magic-users and promptly discovers she’s gotten herself in way over her head again. Worth checking the provided content warnings.

Miranda in Milan -- sequel to Shakespeare’s Tempest but it’s gay now and also witchcraft and politics

Havemercy -- apparently dragon rider fiction but the dragons are steampunk robots and the dragon riders are Gay

The Year of the Knife -- alt-history urban fantasy noir british witch cop with undead girlfriend?

Winter Tide -- first in a book series from the perspective of one of the surviving people of Innsmouth, Massachusetts, years after the U.S. government imprisoned the town’s entire population at the end of H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Shadow Over Innsmouth,” as she attempts to rebuild her home and her history in the midst of the Cold War (this one’s got a free online prequel)

(I also made this post of some more Good Books most of which are also Gay Books like last week and also if yall like I can put together a full list of all of these books I’ve got on Goodreads or something? Because this is actually a fairly small slice of what I have.) (I might also be putting together a book review/recommendation sideblog for this kind of stuff, if people would read that, but We’ll See)

#bobbie recommends things #hello I am a simple peddler of niche gay genre fiction wares #I no longer feel very comfortable properly Reviewing podcasts but I'd love to dip into something like that with books #lavosse #asks #my posts

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moonjjks · 6 years

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hello hello, it’s your local starry jungkook enthusiast, here with my very first follow forever~

Thank you so incredibly much to every single person who follows me!! You guys are the absolute sweetest and always brighten up my day! Bangtan has honestly really changed my life in the most positive way, and I don’t know where I would be without them. I made this blog during a really hard time in my life, and to think that it’s already been a year is so wild to me. At the same time I can’t believe it’s only been a year and I’ve already gotten to see them three times. Life is hard, but bts has helped me find ways to find joy in the little things. This blog has been a blessing in disguise from the day I started it, and it continues to be a place of love and support, and I sincerely cannot thank you all enough! 💕

To be honest I have no business making this still, but I hit a follower milestone that I never expected to ever reach on this sideblog, and the one year anniversary of this blog is coming up! (That, and I already made that cute lil header so I had to use it) So in celebration, here are some of the wonderful blogs that I follow!

mutuals are bolded

♡ - i love you with my whole entire heart

✨ - go to the bottom for a sappy lil note

# - i

j - m

n - z

✨ Mutual Loving Time ✨

bee: my carpe my diem 😘 my very best friend and my darling girlfriend. Part of me wonders how we would have happened had we not discovered bts, but tbh I’m glad that I never have to find out, because both bts and you have vastly improved my life in the past year alone, and I think our beginning is perfect just the way it is. You have the world’s biggest heart, and you continuously put me and my needs above your own. I've been so broken for so long, but you handle me with the utmost care. You’re so gentle with me, and my healing has been slow but every day I heal a little more thanks to you. You’re the very cutest and you make me smile every day. thank you for showing me all of the love i never knew i deserved. 💕💜💕

sav: SAV!!!! It’s been ages since we’ve talked (highkey because I’m the worst and I’m so sorry I’m so terrible with communication), but you were the very first friend I ever made on this blog, and I’ll always have immense love for you! I’m always creeping and wishing you the very best in the world. I love and miss you!! 💕

lea: you are just the brightest person in the whole wide world, you shine so radiantly and you lift up everyone around you!! You are genuinely one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and I absolutely adore you. You’re always checking in on me and offering comfort and I suck at keeping in touch with people but please know I am also always here for you!! I love you, thank you so much for being you!! 💕

sara: miss sara!!! we’ve both been so busy lately that we haven’t gotten a chance to talk much, but i love and miss you dearly!! You’re the sweetest ray of sunshine and I’m so glad we decided to start our own net!! There’s no one I would’ve rather done it with! You’re so kind and SO incredibly talented!! Your headers always make me so soft 😍 I’m always thinking about you and wishing you well!! 💕

power trio: MY FAM!!! I love you two so incredibly much!! You always manage to brighten up my day! 💕 You’re both so intelligent and eloquent and also absolutely hysterical, you always keep a smile on my face. You guys are always so supportive, and I know I an always count on you for an accidental yeehaw when I need it 🤠✊. I couldn’t ask for a better twin or triplet, together we shall rule over all of ssbts 👑💜

rina: miss rina i love you so much I tagged both of your blogs!!! You are just the very sweetest and I love and appreciate you so incredibly much! Thank you so much for reaching out whenever I really need someone and for sharing your own experiences with me. You are SO incredibly talented, I’m always in awe of all of your creations!! You’re always so well-spoken and just the very sweetest I’m soft 💕 Also thank you again for the greatest url on the planet, I truly love it so much ;~;

rebecca: We only just started talking, but you are so incredibly sweet and hysterical and I love you dearly!!! Every hufflepuff needs a slytherin!! 💕 I love yelling about how much we both love bts together, and I’m always here to help make sure you’re up to date with content! 💕

skippy: you get a message too cause I know you’ll see this. My note for you is:

u suck.

lol jk (💕) (has that joke gotten old? yes. will i stop doing it? no) the jinkook relationship is strong with this one tbh. We tease each other a bunch, but the love is always and will always be there. My concert buddy to the end apparently, I truly never expected you to follow me down the kpop hole and I’m never gonna shut up about it because it always makes me laugh 😂💕 You’re one of the funniest people I know (truly like the mvp himself I hope you know), and I love you lots. Anyways you’re fab, thank you for being the best bud I could ask for and for being awake at hours when everyone else is usually asleep~ #loops4life

#sdfgsgdas i hope i didn't forget anyone!!#i was a dumb dumb and waited too long to post this and i know a lot of people changed their url for mono dropping #i think i went and found the people who had changed and properly tagged them #if i didn't i'm so sorry and just assume you were supposed to be here cause you probably were!!#but yeah if i forgot anyone i'm so sorry i love you and feel free to let me know wadfegs #anyway i love you all!!#follow forever #bri.txt

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sasslightertm-a · 5 years

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ooookay, so, some bullshit™ happened earlier this past week and I’m annoyed and pissed. incoming rant/vent under the cut (with screenshots used by permission).

As most of you who have been following me long enough probably know by now, there is a Charmed Discord server and I was in it for a while until I left in early January 2019, for reasons that will be discussed later. The main mod runs a few Charmed rp blogs here on Tumblr, we did have a few threads planned out together, and eventually after I left the Discord server it got to a point where I felt uncomfortable seeing her posts on my dash so I quietly unfollowed and deleted our thread I’d had in my drafts (which had been sitting there for months by this point anyway because I am slow af). Shortly after I unfollwed her, she unfollowed me without so much a message of “Would you be interested in continuing any threads?”.

This mod, while I was in the server, also created a venting/ranting group Google doc against another Charmed roleplayer who has been around for years and had been in the server as well but also left for much the same reasons I later did (namely, feeling unwelcome within the server). (The Google doc has since been deleted, I believe.)

Which brings me to the main point of this post. One of my close friends/mutuals noticed this mod and the roleplayer starting to interact again when both of them had unfollowed each other for months beforehand after the mod decided this roleplayer was Toxic™.

Uh-huh, sure, I find it very hard to believe you told her about the call-out Google doc and everything in it and she was perfectly understanding about it. I also have yet to hear an apology at all from this mun when 1) the most we would do is talk OOC anyway; 2) my Chris and Bilie were constantly ignored despite me showing interest in some of her wishlist ideas; and 3) any threads we did have would only get two replies in if I was lucky and were then dropped. So I unfollowed ages ago and moved on with other mutuals, and at this point it’s honestly not worth it.

And no, sorry, the server was not inactive when I left it back in early/mid January. Everyone was either in the general, headcanons, or venting channels And yes, any time anyone responded to me it was because I or my friend had said something they wanted to argue with or turn into a headcanon about their own next-generation muses. Also? For all y’all would squee over white US-American YouTuber cover artists or Korean boybands (despite none of you speaking a word of Korean), or the mod occasionally slipping into Arabic and then translating when one of us would ‘???’, the instant I try and share a cover by an amazing Turkish musical-theater singer who speaks German and does German-language musicals (said cover was in English, by the way), or the instant I would talk about something I learned in one of my German classes (despite most of my ancestry being, y’know, German [and for the record, said German ancestors came over to the States in the 1800s, so don’t even go there])... dead silence.

1) oh my gods I’m howling. Thanks for admitting most of the people in the server hate me just because they found my fanfiction and that I like to write dark-themed fics and smut. Out of curiosity, was it one of my FF.net accounts (my main, my Charmed-fic-centric one, or my dark!AU Tenth Doctor-fic-centric one) or was it my AO3? (Also way to go for basically admitting that yup, you’re all a bunch of antis and really be drinking the evangelical fundamentalist Christian purity culture Kool-Aid.)

and btw, saying “complete transparency?” like that is just code for “I’m about to be a petty bitch and you’re not going to want to hear it, but too late.”

also, what, like none of you have ever wanted to write kinky smutty fanfic just because it’s fun and lets you work out various fantasies that may or may not be inherently transgressive? as far as I’m aware I was one of maybe two other people in that server who identify as asexual so don’t even try and say any of youse are sex-repulsed aces.

my smutfic isn’t even that kinky, but go off, I guess

tbh they also probably hate me bc I called them out over their misuse of the word “pedophilia” in regards to this one particular scene in a teen drama TV show between fictional teenage characters being portrayed by adult actors that airs on a network aiming for a 18 to 49-year-old demographic, and the mod and I would disagree over various things concerning US-American Wicca, but hey, it’s easier to just go after my fanfiction and say they hate me because of the fanfics, right?

speaking of that scene they were so up-in-arms about, don’t even try and tell me real-life allosexual teenagers are not horny and don’t have sex with other teenagers, because coming from a state with one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy (where more often than not both would-be parents are teenagers of or around the same age), I will not believe you

like, seriously, do NONE of you remember ever being horny and hormonal as a teenager, or...?

2) Stop trying to make this an argument that needs to be won, because it isn’t. Also? By the time I left the Charmed Discord server didn’t even feel like a Charmed server anyway, so. There’s that.

3) My friend is right and she should say it.

A few things here:

How does any of that sound accusatory when it’s true and my friend calmly laying out how she felt about the situation??

Again, stop trying to make this into an argument or personal attack because it isn’t. And not every single conversation is a debate that needs to be won.

“I was half joking”, uh-huh, yeah, riiiiight. Also? How is it any of your business how she decides to run her blog and curtail it so she feels safe on her own dash??? Especially when you don’t even follow or interact with her anymore?? Hell, I softblock people myself who are either inactive and just taking up my follower account, or are personal/fandom blogs who I just don’t want interacting with me. And if you follow me but don’t make any motion to interact, then yeah I’m probably going to softblock you too after posting a heads-up that I’ll be cleaning out my follower count.

And the best part??? Immediately after all this the mod/mun made a post on her blog saying how she doesn’t put up with passive-aggressiveness or manipulation. How the fuck is my friend/mutual being passive-aggressive or manipulative????

I’m sorry, but no, you do not get to do that. I see what you did there, and it is not okay. And I am glad I don’t have to deal with any of this mun’s bullshit anymore, or most of the people in the server, apparently. They blocked me solely because they found my kinky darkfic? Fine, great, it’s not like any of them ever interacted with any of my muses anyway and I don’t want to deal with them either. (But also... I made it clear on the server that I also write a dark eldritch!AU Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who and they all knew I have a sideblog for the canon evil version of Chris Halliwell so how exactly was it a surprise that I like writing fanfiction with darker themes and grey areas?)

Anyway, no, that language used on my friend was not called for at all. Neither was trying to make her out to be the aggressor when anyone who’s chatted with her OOC for long enough knows that even doing this much is hard emotionally for her. This was also not an argument that absolutely had to be won so quit trying to turn everything into an argument to make yourself look better. And ooh, boy, tone policing on top of that. That last response was classic “I know you’re right but I don’t want to admit it so I’m just gonna say something to make myself look like I came out on top.”

Nah.

There’s the door. Make sure it hits you on the way out.

#outoforbs ( ooc )#rant cw

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andyouknowitis · 5 years

Note

“The Fandom Funundrum” in other words you don’t want to feel guilty for every advantage Harry’s been given. Noted! Keep pretending to care about Louis, you’re doing great sweetie!

This arrived in my inbox a week or so ago at the end of a very long, shitty fourteen hour day.

Right then I was already dealing with the sudden loss of my uncle, who I’d just handmade a wreath for, as well as coming to terms with the fact that while I love my job, I will soon haveto leave it, and move, as all manner of things that have served to make it impossible for me to survive as a freelancer in this economic climate.

I’ve discussed here, in painful detail, some of the otherthings I’ve had to work through in recent years, ever a work inprogress. I don’t know if I’m a good or bad person.

But I’m a person. A real person. And I deserve better than this at the end of a really bad day, not least when I come to one of the places where I find comfort in small things and bright people that interest me and make me smile.

Louis is one of those people.

One of the most important to me, as it happens.

I am not the blog for you. And certainly not with an action such as this one.

My crime, apparently was to post this, a reblog of something that I wrote a while ago as a general nod to being chastised for daring to enjoy one thing when another very bad thing was happening.

It was not fully specific to any fandom or person when I wrote it, other than suffice to say, after many years online I’ve learned that fandom gatekeeping is a form of bullying and I have little patience left for it.

A cursory glance around my mess of a blog will show anyone who cares to look that while I do blog very much a lot about 1D, I am actually a multi-fandom blog.

More specifically I am a ME blog.

Hell my url is a Snow Patrol lyric and no-one ever gets it. Here I lay things I like, love, find interesting, think important, and want to share.

A wallpaper made up of my mind, a patchwork comprised of things that for me, helps me make art and help people.

In this instance anotherfandom I’m part of (shout out to my Emmerdale sheepy peeps) were arguing heatedly about something, which essentially boiled down to how can you enjoy x when y is happening etc. etc. While I do have a sideblog for in-depth stuff, mostpeople follow me on my main so I posted it here too.

And yes, after several years here, and online in general, I do get tired of seeing discourse after discourse that I’ve probably already discussed in detail in the past, as well as fandom infighting that only serves the money men and none of us.

And certainly not Louis, or any of the 1D boys (they will be the boys to me even when they’re in their 80s shush). Something Iactually wrote about here, as relates to the 1D fandom, in the early summer of 2015, unknowing that the worst was yet to come, but knowing even then that I was tired of all the ways we had been fractured and used.

People will forever be divided and conquered. I haveno wish to be another perpetual pawn in this tired game.

I very rarely publish asks I receive, either because I speak with people via message if something bears further discussion if they’re off anon, or because some things are just not worth the time and energy it takes to answer them.

Some people don’t want to listen, only to be heard. Time is aprecious commodity that I have little of.

When I do have free fandom time I like to spend it responding to interesting asks, writing fic when I’m able, making fan edits (mostly of Louis as it happens), working my way through the Womens and Equalities Committee findings on NDAs which I think may be pertinent (the inquiry is still ongoing), live blogging, and curating a peaceful space for when I need it.

And sometimes like this time, I engage.

The last time I took the time to answer something like this was actually also about Louis. I stood accused of infantilising Louis because I wrote a single tagline on a post I had made about wanting to give him a hug.

The time before that I was, conversely to the latest offering, apparently the devil for daring to hope that Louis would soon have more visible and tangible support from people in the industry.

For a post I wrote THREE years ago almost to the day, and still stand by.

I support him. I don’t have to meet anyone else’s standards of how to do that.

Something I really had to learn in therapy a couple of years ago was that it’s okay to get angry. It’s something I struggle with and fear somewhat. But I have learned. Sometimes it’s okay to get angry.

And this is one of those times.

I am angry that a stranger, or perhaps even worse, someone who otherwise follows/followed me and should know at least a modicum of my character, would fucking dare to tell me, after all I’ve said and done, that I don’t care about Louis.

Louis, who I care about most of all in this entire shitshow.

Louis, who I care about so much, that the top thing my fandom friends will attest I whine about most is having to see Harry blogs on my dash that I know have said incredibly vile things about him.

I don’t know Louis. Nor may I hazard, do you, coward in my inbox. I’ll likely never meet him and I acknowledge that my perceptions of him are coloured by time, life experience, and an understanding of parasocial relationships.

But I would hope I know of him well enough to feel that he’d agree if you’ve got something to say then a) have the balls tosay it to someone’s face (privately if not in public), and b) theprecise opposite of ‘let’s make someone happy today’ (his ownpractice when he has a shit day like the one I had), is to makesomeone unhappy like you have set out to do here.

I don’t know Louis. But I know enough to know that he’s important to me and why.

Why above and beyond anything else he’s the reason why eight years ago I kept watching a show I had long before lost interest in.

Why I voted every single week.

Why he was the first person I took a photo of on TMH tour when I could finally afford to see them.

Why I waited hours in relentless sun in a different country just so I could be at the barrier when he sang Moments right in front of me during WWA.

Why I kept coming back after grief and loss in mypersonal life turned me inside out, time and time again.

Why I stood in Sheffield on the final night of OTRA tour when my heart was numb to almost anything that could reach it.

Why I met people who changed my life just by being in it.

The music is important to me, OT5 is important to me, but Louis, above all Louis is important to me. Louis is why I stayed when I wanted to go. Louis. Louis and friends that I’ve made here, who know me better than you ever will.

So please, if you haven’t already, please block me and neverinteract with me again. I don’t want to know.

If anyone else reading this happens to feel the same about me, unfollow me now.

I follow and sometimes interact with some people I don’t necessarily agree with, primarily because I like to be open to different aspects of discussion, and to not exist within a fandom vacuum.

But I don’t tolerate vitriolic bad mouthing of any of the boys. And I will not interact with people who try to hurt me.

Much less with someone who attempts to do it anonymously. The sad thing is you’re so very, very visible for what you are.

I am not the blog for you.

You know why?

Because I’m the blog for me. And you will not makeme feel bad about that, or about myself. Least of all about caring for Louis. Not now, not ever.

Oh and Sweetie? All the links are clickable. I have been here. I will be here. I am here. And there’s nothing you can do to change it. Knock yourself out.

#qqqq #Anonymous #in the immortal words of my granny 'catch yourself on'#x

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skyahq · 6 years

Text

WELL. it’s me again. i’m sam ( she / her, 21, est timezone ) and i also play parker! this is sky who i’ve had for a while but haven’t really done much with bc my muse for him hasn’t been the best, however i think i’m all sorted with him now so, character info under the cut! tbh it’s literally the exact same intro as before with just a few slight changes but feel free to still give it a read and please message me if you’d like to plot because i would absolutely love that!

FIRST. let’s just. let’s get it out of the way right here and now that this is a sideblog so i will be messing up and posting shit to the wrong accounts sometimes bc i’m dumb. let’s laugh abt it now so we don’t have to do it later. k cool we can carry on now

「 CODY CHRISTIAN, CISMALE, 25, PARAMORE. 」┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on SKY ARLO? he is the DRUMMER in BETTER NOW, one of my favorite ALT ROCK groups. they’ve been releasing music for FOUR YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last TWO YEARS. get this, i think i heard HE’S THE ILLEGITIMATE CHILD OF A WEALTHY PUBLIC FIGURE. they’re known as the CALIGINOUS of the music industry, since they have a rep for being TRENCHANT but SELF - SERVING, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.

born and raised deep in the swamplands of louisiana, sky’s only parent was a single mom who was nowhere near old enough or prepared enough to have a kid, tbh. she did sincerely try to take care of him at first but she had a drug problem that got very out of hand very quickly. sky was barely even five years old when the state stepped in and had him placed into the foster system.

has the slightest of southern accents but if you point it out he will deny it

will occasionally speak a little cajun french though bc we stan a multilingual grump

spent the rest of his childhood without a family or stable home. he was shuffled all over the state — placed in group homes, orphanages, and many different foster homes which were unfortunately very neglectful and unsafe sometimes. by his preteen years he was practically living on the streets of new orleans, survival instincts sharply honed.

he learns fast and had very quickly become an expert thief, pickpocket, and con artist, but that doesn’t mean he never got caught. he did. a lot. like his juvie record is longer than your arm

somehow still found time to experience your typical teenage first love resulting in unbearable heartbreak with a girl who lived on the streets and ran scams just like him. it was a bonnie & clyde together forever type of romance until it wasn’t cause the girl shockingly ditched him while he was in serious trouble in order to save her own skin and he never saw her again

not long after that he turned seventeen AND THEN SOMETHING SUPER IMPORTANT HAPPENED. by that i mean he was sought out by his social worker who then proceeded to 1) tell him his mother had died and 2) take him away to california because apparently there was a family out there who wanted to adopt him! and they did!

his new family wasn’t actually new though because the man who adopted him was his biological father. he and sky’s mother were lovers for the brief time wherein sky’s father was visiting louisiana in his late teen years but he left before ever finding out that he was going to have a child. he’d never stopped thinking about sky’s mom, however, so he’d do some digging every few years. of course by the time he finally did find her it was because of an obituary and then he’d heard about sky and just knew that this was his kid.

sky learned about all of this right away upon meeting his father and to say he didn’t take it very well is a MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT. he was furious. after all, his father had a whole new family! a wife and kids and a very prestigious job AND OH YEAH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO HIS NAME BUT HE’D NEVER HELPED SKY EVEN ONCE. it didn’t really help that he was clearly trying to make up for his absence in sky’s life by being present now that he had the opportunity and anyway, it turned out he had ulterior motives for that.

basically, a large part of his dad’s wealth was in fact inherited through the family. they’re all old money posh so finding out that the next family patriarch had an unknown son who was technically his firstborn was terrifying. blood or not, they couldn’t just hand centuries of traditions and carefully cultivated wealth over to a high school dropout living on the streets. so, sky’s dad was just keeping him close while he talked to lawyers about whether or not sky had any legitimate claim to anything owned by his family and of course, the sneaky street smart kid he is, sky figured out what was going on pretty quickly and bolted back to the streets.

he was still seventeen at the time and he’s lived in los angeles ever since but hasn’t had any contact with his father or seen a single penny of that family money

so yeah he’s illegitimate, no actual rights to their fortune

lived on the streets in los angeles for a while, but with a little hard work ( and a lot of thievery and conning ) he was eventually able to get himself a little apartment while working various jobs

nothing really stuck until better now, but when he first joined the band he’d literally never played the drums before. ever. not once before in his entire life. did he lie anyway and say that he was a Drumming Expert™ because he’d get paid to play gigs with them and happened to be broke af at the time? why yes he absolutely did

since then they switched lead singers with sweets having joined the band four years ago and they’ve released one album that was lit af! they’re currently in the middle of putting together their second album and since sky’s found out that he actually really loves drumming things have been pretty good for him. he lives in a nice apartment and finally has enough money to get by without conning or stealing. he still doesn’t really know how to deal with being a celebrity but tbh he actually adores the attention? he loves having fans? people in his life who seem to genuinely love and care about him? what is this new and exciting concept he’s confused but happy nonetheless

never ever talks about his dad / family though

as usual i was Extra™ and went off with the backstory stuff, but we can move onto personality now!

by default assumes that literally everyone he meets is going to betray him. is truly on some x files trust no one shit

except he does actually genuinely trust a few people for now i’m going to say just his bandmates since i imagine they’ve been through a lot together at this point but that’s open to expansion

street smart, charming, flirtatious ( especially around pretty girls ), witty, perspicacious, determined, tough, mistrustful, surly, reckless, uncouth, self-serving af sometimes

also v v sarcastic and STUBBORN

all of sky’s save his own skin above all else stuff? kind of a lie. he’s got a soft spot for people in need of help and though he might do it begrudgingly, sky often will actually put others before him.

the other personality traits i listed are pretty spot on though

literally always has his drumsticks with him and brings them everywhere. will drum on anything and everything until told to stop then he miiiight apologize? but go right back to doing it again not even five minutes later ngl

street smart af but book smart? not so much. he picks up on things pretty quickly but he’s still pretty dumb lmao and will in fact say some stupid shit at least 2932589843794836708 times a day

however he’s not always much of a talker. he’s gotta be in the mood bc if he isn’t but you try to have a convo with him he’s gonna be even more standoffish than usual

when he does talk though, sky is often sarcastic, pessimistic, and surly

he’s permanently grumpy

except he also has many soft spots that are very easy to find

stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical w/ a dash of sinnamon roll

he’s usually a cute little ray of sunshine around fans though bc they just?? make him so happy?? it makes him so happy to know that people love better now and that they LOVE HIM OK

though if ever called out for smiling he would immediately deny

will absolutely throw hands if he has to

TL;DR - louisiana born street smart drummer for better now with an accent he denies having and an extremely rich family who wants nothing to do with him but it wasn’t like he ever cared anyway. charming and flirtatious but also can be grumpy and pessimistic. expert pickpocket and con artist. has no idea how to handle being a celebrity but he not so secretly enjoys the love he gets from fans. has trouble trusting and allowing himself to get close to anyone & everyone.

finally…it’s over. if you actually read this far then i applaud you. i don’t have any specific plots in mind EXCEPT FOR POTENTIALLY HALF SIBLINGS RELATED THROUGH HIS FATHER SO PLEASE MESSAGE ME IF YOU’RE INTERESTED BC Y E S but if you know me then you know i want all the plots so feel free to message me and we can definitely work something out! as usual i’m super excited to write with you folks!

#viral:intro #it's honestly just his previous intro with just a few changes #but #let's try again here

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skyahqunfollow · 6 years

Text

WELL. it’s me again. i’m sam ( she / her, 21, est timezone ) and i also play parker! i’ve finally decided to bring in another muse and bob morley also avan jogia is the loml, so he we go! character info under the cut! please message me if you’d like to plot because i would absolutely love that!

FIRST. let’s just. let’s get it out of the way right here and now that this is a sideblog so i will be messing up and posting shit to the wrong accounts sometimes bc i’m dumb. let’s all just. take a moment to laugh abt it now so we don’t have to do it later. k cool we can carry on now

「 AVAN JOGIA, CISMALE, 26, PARAMORE. 」┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on SKY ARAO? he is the DRUMMER in BETTER NOW, one of my favorite ALT ROCK groups. they’ve been releasing music for FOUR YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last TWO YEARS. get this, i think i heard HE’S THE ILLEGITIMATE CHILD OF A WEALTHY PUBLIC FIGURE. they’re known as the CALIGINOUS of the music industry, since they have a rep for being TRENCHANT but SELF - SERVING, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.

has the slightest of southern accents but if you point it out he will deny it

will occasionally speak a little cajun french though & some tagalog bc we stan a multilingual grump

he learns fast and had very quickly become an expert thief, pickpocket, and con artist, but that doesn’t mean he never got caught. he did. a lot. like his juvie record is longer than your arm

not long after that he turned seventeen AND THEN SOMETHING SUPER IMPORTANT HAPPENED. by that i mean he was sought out by his social worker for once who then proceeded to 1) tell him his mother had died and 2) take him away to california because apparently there was a family out there who wanted to adopt him! and they did!

sky learned about all of this right away upon meeting his father and to say he didn’t take it very well is a MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT TBH. he was furious. after all, his father had a whole new family! a wife and kids and a very prestigious job AND OH YEAH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO HIS NAME BUT HE’D NEVER HELPED SKY EVEN ONCE. it didn’t really help that he was clearly trying to make up for his absence in sky’s life by being present now that he had the opportunity and anyway, it turned out he had ulterior motives for that.

basically, a large part of his dad’s wealth was in fact inherited through the family. they’re all old money posh so finding out that the next family patriarch had an unknown son who was technically his firstborn was terrifying. blood or not, they couldn’t just hand centuries of traditions and carefully cultivated wealth over to a high school dropout who didn’t know how to behave and simply couldn’t be trusted with their unblemished legacy. so, sky’s dad was just keeping him close while he talked to lawyers about whether or not sky had any legitimate claim to anything owned by his family and of course, the sneaky street smart kid he is, sky figured out what was going on pretty quickly and bolted back to where he was most comfortable — the streets.

he was still seventeen at the time and he’s lived in los angeles ever since but hasn’t had any contact with his father or seen a single penny of that family money

so yeah he’s illegitimate, no actual rights to their fortune

lived on the streets in los angeles for a while, but with a little hard work ( and a lot of thievery and conning ) he was eventually able to get himself a little apartment while working various jobs

since then they switched lead singers with sweets having joined the band four years ago and they’ve released one album that was lit af! they’re currently in the middle of putting together their second album and since sky’s found out that he actually really likes drumming things have been pretty good for him. he lives in a nice apartment and finally has enough money to get by without conning or stealing. he still doesn’t really know how to deal with being a celebrity but tbh he actually adores the attention? he loves having fans? people in his life who seem to genuinely love and care about him? what is this new and exciting concept he’s confused but happy nonetheless

never ever talks about his dad / family though

as usual i was Extra™ and went off with the backstory stuff, but we can move onto personality now!

by default assumes that literally everyone he meets is going to betray him. is truly on some x files trust no one shit

except he does actually genuinely trust a few people for now i’m going to say just his bandmates since i imagine they’ve been through a lot together at this point but that’s open to expansion

street smart, charming, sometimes flirtatious, witty, perspicacious, determined, tough, mistrustful, surly, reckless, uncouth, self-serving af sometimes

all of sky’s save his own skin above all else stuff? kind of a lie. he’s got a soft spot for people in need of help and though he might do it begrudgingly, sky often will put others before him.

the other personality traits i listed are pretty spot on though

street smart af but book smart? not so much. he picks up on things quickly but he’s still pretty dumb lmao and will in fact say some stupid shit at least 2932589843794836708 times a day

however he’s not always much of a talker. he’s gotta be in the mood bc if he isn’t and you try to have a convo with him he’s gonna be even more standoffish than usual

when he does talk though, sky is often sarcastic, pessimistic, and surly

he’s permanently grumpy

except he also has many soft spots that are very easy to find

stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical w/ a dash of sinnamon roll

legend has it he’s never smiled ever not even once

he’s usually a cute little ray of sunshine around fans though bc they just?? make him so happy?? it makes him so happy to know that people love better now and that they LOVE HIM OK

though if ever called out for smiling he would immediately deny

will absolutely throw hands if he has to

lowkey a total mom friend who thrives on being a total mom friend but acts like he hates it? like he’ll grumble at you to bring your jacket bc it might be cold out and he’ll seem like he’s doing it very begrudgingly but on the inside? HE IS THRIVING IN THAT MOMENT

TL;DR - louisiana born street smart drummer for better now with an accent he denies having and an extremely rich family who wants nothing to do with him but it wasn’t like he ever cared anyway. charming and flirtatious but also can be grumpy and pessimistic. expert pickpocket and con artist. has no idea how to handle being a celebrity but he secretly enjoys the love he gets from fans. never smiles, loves whiskey, probably takes way too many naps on his couch. secret mom friend. has trouble trusting and allowing himself to get close to anyone & everyone.

#viral:intro #drugs tw #death tw #here with another Mess™#as always message me if you wanna plot!

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remmythepegasis · 7 years

Text

Anthems for Roman Sanders

Appreciation for Logan is delivered (even twice!) so I want to share with you what I think about others Sanders Sides. Besides this is sanders sides appreciation month so this is time for Prince! I’m afraid (if you'll correct me I'll be extremely happy!) we as Fanders rarely think about Prince as the person who gives us a WHOLE videos on yt and/or snapchat… You know; everything wonderful Thomas’ ideas. So I wanna do this! Okay; this is my SUBJECTIVE opinion. Yeah! It’s show time! THE PRINCE comes on stage!

Warrnings: LONG POST full of Roman Sanders, love to Roman Sanders, fangirling about Roman Sanders, memes with Roman Sanders, compliments to Roman Sanders, yearning for Roman Sanders, may contain traces of nuts. Because I AM a nut! For Roman Sanders! NO OBJECTIVITY! Zero!

First I’ll tell about his music theme when Princey pop up. This is a „The Blue Danube”! This my favourite classical song! Actually I noticed Sanders Sides have their own music theme very late (I think) because that was „My NEGATIVE Thinking” when Thomas tried summon Princey to vlog and he can’t. That was: „Hey! I know that melody! Is this… YES IT IS! I love it, Princey I love you!” And I started to check others’ theme. Thanks for Roman I noticed that finally. And because of that I think Prince listens classical music sometimes.

Another thing I noticed in „My NEGATIVE Thinking” – we can tell who is talking right now without see Sides. Why we can tell Princey is talking? Because he usually (almost ALWAYS) talking from a diaphragm. It can be heard. The diaphragm is very important with singing but he is even talking like that! If you want to try – this is tiring but you sounds beauty! Princey is trying for us, always! He is really hard-working! Has anyone ever noticed and appreciated that? He is responsible ideas and creativity in videos and he loves what he does! He was worried about inspiration and his job in „Growing Up”. He literally said he want to deliver us only the best in „Losing My Motivation”. And he is great in that job! Maybe he is a dreamer but he can do everything what is necessary to achieve his goals! I think this is awesome!

He is like that because he is great and NEAT! I can bet his room is tidy, his clother are always clean and his singing have to be clear and wonderful! Roman was so disgusted Thomas didn’t wash his shirt… And his anger about Thomas’ hairstyle! This is tidy boy! Handsome, tidy, talented, creative, wonderful boy… Message to everyone! (I think especially to me… But shhhhh!)

Roman is the most cartoonish character from all Sanders Sides! @ts-sideblog, @what-even-is-thiss, @evilmuffin and more of you creates so much cool gifs but I think gifs with Roman are the best, the most funny, the most meme worthy! He IS a cartoon, he can talk with cartoon birds, he is a Disney Prince, his gestures are overdraw (-ed? -ing? Sorry for my English, I don’t know D: ). He IS actual cartoon in real world!

Once I told everyone can fangirling and fanboying (self prom and differences: there). Princey is adorable when he is fangirling when he is excited! Picture of Roman when he can’t speak words correctly, squealing and jumping, smiling and is incredibly happy! The best things in the world! Look at him!

Do you remember how he started a rap battle? Yes, Logan was awesome but that scene, that lyrics, that situation… All thanks to Roman! And forget about winner now. LOOK how Princey is charismatic! His hands motion, face expression… It’s like if he screamed „I’m the prettiest guy in the world and I know it!” Even if you don’t want to – you will be admire him!

This is time for me to fangirling - Thomas don’t know Spanish but Princey can speak Spanish! This is fit to our handsome guy perfectly! Hey, hey Roman when you learn Spanish? Is this your class ability? Maybe every single prince can speak Spanish? Or maybe prince have to can speak at least two languages? Hah, and one more time – hi is so creative! I love all of his little quotes!

You know what? Contrary to popular opinion Prince is actually only one of Sides (except Logan of course) who prooved us that he READING! He can cite freaking SHAKESPEARE from memory! He MUST reading. Even if he don’t understand WHAT he is reading but still – Roman IS reading!

I think Prince’s way how to get a date was the best! Hey – he said about poetry not Logan. He know you need to tact, gusto. He discover a way how to fuse caring for other person with self-awesomeness! And in my personal opinion – pick-up „killing what ruin my life” definitely works on me! Does it work (except aro) for any of you too?

Prince is really caring - always is ready to fight for people who he loves like

And

Also he is lovely! This is one who think that propose to marriage is more grand thing than defeating a Dragon Witch! Even Morality was surprised. Wow! Lovely!

Roman is kind. I know that he usually insult Anxiety and Logan BUT this is only, ONLY when he don’t agree with them for some reason. He can be nice without reason!

I love Princey. We know he often feels unneeded, left out or underrated. This is week for you Roman! We all love you! I love you and your hard-working and your ideas and your trying and your style and your apparance and your singing and your passion and your kidness and… *better for you to go home - it will take some time) …ur gestures and your bright smile and your poses and your outfit and your…

#Roman Sanders #Prince Sanders #Princey Sanders #anthems for Sanders Sides #tssides appreciation month #sanderssidesappreciationmonth #It took me ages #to many ideas...

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pippa-frost · 7 years

Text

Fic: Ice Cold (Part III)

Hi! Here’s the third part! This is already explained in the first part, but this is based on a post made my @ec-sanderssides and also, in the this other amazing post here!

So i’m tagging a lot of people cause you’re all soooo nice and amazing and i love it when people tag me in fics (i LOVE fics, so seriously, if you’ve got a fic PLEASE TAG ME) and fanart so it’s only fair i do the same! (i hope you don’t mind! Please let me know if you do!)

@what-even-is-thiss @deafinatelyfangirling @fugitive-angel @corystssides @tiny-mudkip @parsnipit @romananalogicality @analogicalhell @starlight-sanders @dan-yuna @wingedchickadee @ana-logical @diplomatic-arsonist @killerfangirl3 @princeyandanxiety @pattonscardigan @pfftwhatnoimhuman @agentflash18 @ec-sanderssides @frustratedwaffle @inalandofmythandtimeofmagic @thagrinbery @prplzorua @ohmehgawdnotagain @analogically-prinxiety @beautiful-crimson @prinxietys @prinxiety-fandom @prinxiety-logicality-ss @starrykid @organizeddiscord @ts-sideblog @sanderships @toxicsanders

(I’ll keep tagging more people as soon as i can!)

Part I , Part II , Part III (you’re here)

It happens on a Tuesday. Instead of being alone in his room like he’s gradually been doing more and more since the first time he had one of his ‘cold’ episodes, he’s in the commons with the others. Normally, he wouldn’t be, but Patton’s convinced him to watch movies together on the grounds of free food and at least one of the movies to be The Black Cauldron.

Thomas is in his apartment so he lets himself feel calm enough to stay with the others for some reason. He should have known better.

At some point Thomas goes out to join Joan and Talyn and for a second he starts to get nervous about him leaving the house with all of them seeing movies instead of where their host is going. But the day is nice outside, Morality is carding his fingers through his hair behind him and there’s a calm feeling in the air that bewitches him into a false sense of security.

He really should have known better. He does know better, he is better than this, but he lets himself be drawn into this safe illusion. He never thought he could be so stupid.

Once outside, Thomas only has to walk a few blocks. They keep watching the movie. Thomas is about to cross a street. Anxiety sighs in delight, almost sleepily, as Mo stokes his hair.

And then a loud honk and breaks beings slammed.

“Oh my god!” Morality jumps as the movie stops to show Thomas’ view, Princey and Logan following suit. The three of them checking what had just happened, calming Thomas and trying but failing to keep a level head.

“Thomas? Thomas are you alright?!” he hears Patton cry.

“What just happened?!” Roman shrieks.

“He’s okay, he’s okay, it was just a car” Logan tries to appease.

“Yeah, well, it was just a car driven by some crazy man who didn’t see the red light!”

“It’s okay, Thomas, you’re fine, we’re fine, kiddo, relax”

“Oh my god” Thomas finally breathes as the man in the car gets out to approach their host.

“I’m so sorry…” the man is saying, but Anxiety can’t really hear beyond that.

“Thomas, Thomas, focus”

“I should impale that reckless man!”

“Calm down, Princey, he’s talking to Thomas now; he doesn’t look like he meant it! It was an accident”

“Yeah, well, it could have been more than just an accident! Traffic rules were made for a reason, Patton!” Anxiety can safely say he doesn’t think he’s ever heard Logan this mad and agitated. Well, except from when he had been in his room for too long that one time.

“It’s okay, they’re talking, now, Thomas is fine, it was just a big scare”

Logan sighs heavily in response before talking.

“Well, you do have a point, it was a big scare but we are currently fine, I guess”

“Yeah, actually, it could have been way worse; you’re doing a great job, Anxi-” he hears Prince start, and if Anxiety could currently move, he would have frozen. But guess what. Haha to him “Anxiety…?” he continues, and from his position sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, his body stuck in place, all he can really see are the other’s legs and feet.

Right now, his mind is reeling. The pain and the panic are the same as all the times before, but, whether it’s for better or for worse, those feelings are currently muffled by the horrific situation.

They’re here.

They’re here, and they’re seeing, and he can’t answer and they will know, they will know, they can’t know, they can’t. Why had he been so stupid? He should have never agreed to this, he should have gone to his room as soon as Thomas decided to go out; he knows better than to expect good things to happen or for things to at least stay okay, no, with him it’s always the worse possible outcome. Of course the one time he lets his ward down, this happens.

How could he be so stupid? Hasn’t he learned by now? Nothing can ever go well when he’s involved.

“Anxiety…?” he hears Morality’s tentative voice asking as he sees the oldest trait’s legs turn around and face him, a few feet away from Princey.

“Logic…” Prince says with a hesitant voice as Patton nears him “I think something’s wrong”

“Huh?” he hears Logan question as Morality hovers in front of him for half a second before crouching down and locking their eyes. Ann can’t move his own and he knows by now that even trying to do so would cause the sting to burn even more. It’s difficult not to, however, with Dad peering at him with wide eyes and a fearful expression.

While he hates everything about this situation and wishes nothing more than for the others to disappear and forget this ever happened (which is actually a good distraction from the pain and the burning and the panic and the fear), he can’t help the burning in his eyes, way different from the freezing of his eyeballs-and isn’t that a pleasant mental image-, as all he wants is for Dad to hug him and hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay. He thinks Patton would be actually able to thaw him with one of his hugs right now he’d do anything to get one.

“K-kiddo…?” he asks him, pulling him out of his trance. Princey is now kneeling next to Patton, Logic watching with a confused yet concerned expression behind them.

“L-logan.. what’s happening?” Dad asks as he grabs Anxiety’s arm, and he decides he doesn’t want a hug anymore; because right now that single touch, even from underneath his clothes, feels like boiling lava burning his skin. He can practically hear the hissing of his skin being burnt and torn. It hurts. It really, really hurts and the shock comes so sudden and deafening that whatever composure he had been able to gain so far flies away as fast as the freezing came, making it hard to breathe “He’s freezing!!” dad cries in horror.

Yes, he is. Now please let go, it hurts.

“Virgil?” Logan asks in front of him, having pushed the others two sideways, now holding a more pale face with worried eyes “He is….He’s frozen…” he says to himself, his expression changing to one akin to fear “I-I don’t… I don’t know if he can hear us... I think it was because of the sudden scare” he says with finality. Anxiety would say he’s surprised how little it took the older side to figure it out, but then again, the is Logic.

“What do you mean?” Princey asks in what sounds like anger. Why is he angry?

“Maybe… You know… how we all… I always thought that he might have one too”

“What are you talking about?!” the Disney lover demands.

“Frozen in fear” Logan says lowly.

And Patton gives a loud sob out of the blue. It’s so sudden that Virgil can’t stop himself before flinching – trying to, really- towards the aspect, which makes a flash of agony hit his entire body and for lava to cover his eyes. The pain is enough for sound to stop and vision to darken and it just feels like his body is one big pulse. And for the longest time all there is, it’s agony.

When the black recedes, he sees that Prince and Logic are now standing slightly away while Patton sits in front of him with a hand outstretched towards him. And he almost jumps again because no, it burns, it hurts. But he’s not in pain. In any more pain, that is. So apparently he’s not being touched, but he can’t lower his eyes to see what Patton might be using his hand for. However, as he focuses on the latter, he feels like recoiling for a completely different reason.

Dad is crying. Eyes closed, head down and shoulders shaking.

But before he can start feeling like crying himself as a result – why is Dad crying? Why is he like that? Why aren’t the others comforting him? Is it because of him? What did he do? Is he worried? Is that why he is crying? No, this is why he didn’t want them to find out!

Something covers his view and for a second his heart stops and chest tightens (which, ow) before the blue thing lowers and he realizes he’s being covered by a blanket.

Then he starts being moved and it hurts, it hurts, but it doesn’t burn like before and oh, so that’s what the blanket was for. Well, Logan is a fucking genius. Although, augh, Anx is so stupid, of course Logic would know about it! He’s been freezing for years now! Of course he knows what it feels like to be touched when half frozen.

Every step hurts, like when a limb falls asleep and you force it to move. It’s like pins and needles stabbing him from the inside and his nerves being squeezed. But then he notices that his head is down against Princey’s chest and he can see his legs hanging from the other side’s right arm and he realizes that he can in fact be moved. He’d always thought that he became like a statue; Logan they could move cause it was like he froze from the inside, but he had thought he became frozen from the outside, unmovable, like a rock. Huh. What do you know.

Suddenly, he’s being lowered and there’s a tie there somewhere and he can see he’s in the bathroom inside the tub – the hell? – and he can see legs around him. Logan?

Only then does he tune them all in again.

“-what now?” Prince is asking with an angry voice. Why is he mad?

“Now, turn on the water. Cold. We gotta get him warm again”

“Why cold?” Patton whines.

“We’ve been through this, Morality! It’s the same with me; if we do it with the water even just a little warm, it’ll hurt him”

“Okay… okay” the man grumbles. Why do they all sound so angry? Why does it sound like they’re fighting or something?

“Patton, you go get some towels and dry clothes” there’s silence, then a low ‘Patton’ that Ann is sure sounds angry, which is not doing anything for Anxiety’s… well, anxiety, right now. He’d rather be suffering alone than have them around him but angry and spitting at each other.

Whenever this has happened to the others he’s usually the one who panics enough to snap at the others and start demanding and biting back for nothing. Why are they acting like him right now?

Then the water is on and it feels just this side of too hot, but god… it’s wonderful. He feels like crying just from the feeling of it.

The others are talking again, maybe; it’s just muffled to him, way too focused on the sensation of the too hot water against his body. Soon he realizes he can expand a little more his chest and he sighs. Something stills and in response his eyelids drop a little. Oh, he can blink now, even if it’s kind of hard to do.

“Anxiety?” he hears Logic ask behind him followed almost at the same time by a hopeful call from Dad.

“Kiddo??”

He blinks slowly, still afraid to try and move his eyes around.

“See if he’s aware of anything, just- yes, like that” Logan says and Patton appears right in front of him.

“Virgil..?” he asks with something that resembles fear. He hates it. He wants to talk, to answer, to tell him to stop looking so damn scared, that’s not how Morality should look.

Unable to control his breathing yet, all he does is exhale shakily, making Morality look at him expectantly, going to what Virgil thinks is to cup his face, only to flinch and stop midways before glancing over him, at the logical side probably. Anxiety just wants Mo to touch him, even if it hurts, anything to make the fear in his face go away.

Logan must feel just as bad for the oldest, because apparently he lets him go for it before asking Princey to turn the water warmer.

The hands in his cheeks burn, but not scalding-ly like before. And Morality looks a little calmer, so he guesses it could be worse.

His tongue is pasted to the roof of his mouth and he tries to move it a bit as he gets used to blinking, his eyes finally watering; and he feels the normal thawing tears falling down his cheeks. Morality starts wiping them away with his thumbs, tears of his own gathering on his face.

“Kiddo…? Can you hear me?” he sniffs “you there?”

Everything still hurts, but he manages to get his tongue to move the slightest bit and to get air moving through his lungs in more than just a mere sigh.

“..ah’d…?...”

Morality’s face breaks in a grimace, a sob makes way through his mouth, eyes closing as more tears fall, before placing their foreheads together.

The pain he’s felt is nothing compared to this; to seeing and feeling Morality like this. It’s like a shot through the heart, guilt making something ugly get caught in his throat. He wants to say sorry, he’s so sorry, this is why he didn’t want them to know, Morality already worries over all of them, Logan and Prince too, with all their different problems; and now, now he’s one more thing they have to worry about.

“It’s okay, kiddo, you’re fine, you’re okay, we’ll have you all warm and cozy in no time” Mo tells him in a broken voice, still not pulling away from him.

Blinking is getting easier and he thinks he might be able to get a few more words across, but just as more mobility comes to him, he can’t find it in himself to try right now; instead he is happy to cherish the warm embrace.

“Anxiety… are you okay?” Logan suddenly asks “Are you in pain?”

Anxiety doesn’t really want to answer that. Patton immediately pulls back to look for any signs of an answer. So Virgil does the next best thing: he closes his eyes and avoids the question.

“Ann? Kiddo?”

“Is he okay?” comes the voice of Roman.

“He’s most likely in pain” Logan answers.

Damn right he is.

“I brought the towels…” the Royal man says after a while of silence.

“Good. You can turn the water a bit hotter”

“You sure?” and he feels something hot in his hand “He’s still really cold. What if it hurts him?” is Prince touching his hand?

“Trust me, it should be fine”

“Alright”

“Anxiety, kiddo, open your eyes for me, please?” Virgil doesn’t want to. They will keep asking if he’s hurting –which he is - and he doesn’t want to tell them that. And he’s too tired and in pain to be willing to let the alarm and anxiety over them being here, let alone telling them that he’s hurting, drown him.

“Anxiety?” Prince asks.

“His eyes might be hurting. They probably are, he had them open this whole time”

“It’s okay kiddo” Patton says after a while “I know you must be scared but you’re doing great, everything’s fine, you’re doing so good” Patton encourages “Just let me see those eyes and you can rest them for a while okay”

Anxiety feels himself sigh and opens his eyes.

“There you are…” Patton smiles at him. Anxiety doesn’t wait to be questioned, instead sighing more deeply this time and letting his eyes fall close. His eyes still sting, after all.

He doesn’t know how longs it takes, he doesn’t think it’s much; the others talk lowly between them every once in a while as the water gets steadily warmer, his body steadily heavier and less stiff, and someone, probably Dad, playing with his hair.

He’s brought back to the present by being moved. A lot. He’s shivering, and it hurts, way too much for his still tense and very sore body. He opens his eyes to see Patton and Princey watching him closely.

“s-too…p” he manages to mutter. Morality’s face lights up for some reason while Prince looks confused.

“Stop what? Does something hurt?”

“S-stop.. mo-movvvin’…” he whines almost in tears. His teeth are chattering and everything aches, but different than before. He’s just so heavy and sore.

Prince’s eyes widen before his features softens in something Anxiety doesn’t know how to interpret.

“Sorry, Hot Topic” he smiles with sympathy “no one is moving you, that’s just you shivering”

Anxiety knows that. Stupid Sir-Sing-A-Lot can’t seem to catch said fact, though. But his teeth are clacking and it’s too much energy to try to talk again so he just groans in what could be considered a miserably and maybe childish manner.

But, instead of rolling his eyes, annoyed, Princey just looks at him amused and maybe with something akin to pity before ruffling his hair childishly. He’s too tired to dwell on it.

“It’s a good thing” he hears Logic say gently.

He isn’t about to dignify that with an answer. So he groans again.

“Can we get him out now, Logan? I don’t want him in the water so long and it’s already been at least an hour. Plus we can’t have you cold too”

“Hmm, alright, but Prince, you have everything ready?”

“Yes, my finest work yet if I do say so myself”

“Alright then”

Anxiety has no idea what they’re talking about but before he can ask – not that he would- Roman’s taking him from the tub, and it’s only now with the movement that the headache makes itself known. Morality wraps several towels around him after Princey sits him down on a chair. Prince goes prepare something warm to drink while Logan and Patton help him change. He would normally be mortified at the mere thought of what is currently going on, but honestly he’s too tired to care.

He starting to stop shivering and as the frantic movement recedes the exhaustion makes its way like a wave and he can’t help but start having to fight in order to keep his eyes open. He has to focus so much that he tunes the others out and he only snaps out of it when he feels himself being lifted. He’s not cold anymore. Sore, stiff, sure, and well, yes, kinda cold, but not in that awful way from before, instead it’s just a normal we-should-turn-the-heat-on-soon kinda cold.

He’s in Dad’s arms now, covered in blankets and apparently dressed in dry clothes. When did that happen anyway?

He looks up just in time for Dad to glance down at him.

“Aw, hey there, kiddo” he smiles warmly at him “someone is ready for a long nap, huh?” he laughs. Anxiety is too tired to even move one muscle on his face. He’s too tired to do anything.

Through sleepy eyes he sees Morality carrying him to one of the rooms in the commons, probably the one Logic uses sometimes; it’s the one that has all the other stuff closest for when the man has one of his cold thingies. However, his eyes have fallen closed now so he wouldn’t be able to make sure.

After that it’s just feelings really. He feels himself being lowered into something blissfully warm and he knows he sighs in delight both from the sense of it and the warm giggle that it gets out of Mo. He feels himself being covered by something and the warmth increases. Now he can truly say that he isn’t cold at all anymore. Just… exhausted. More than he ever thought possible, even more than all the other times he’s has to deal with all this alone.

Someone is carding their fingers through his hair and he feels shifting around him.

“It’s okay kiddo, we’ll figure it out later” he hears right by his ear.

He’s not really sure what exactly there is to figure out. It’s not like they can do something about this, it’ll just keep happening. So he doesn’t really know how much of a difference could be made.

But he’ll listen to Dad for once. He’ll figure what they meant later. Now? Now he’s practically asleep.

#Thomas Sanders #SanderSides #fic!#myfanfic #myfic #Anxiety Sanders #Princey Sanders #Logic Sanders #Morality Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Roman Sanders #Logan Sanders #Patton Sanders #this is based on an amazing on a post!!#Links in the description!#looong!!#so far everything platonic #might change #don't know what else to tag!

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lizzieraindrops · 7 years

Text

Your chance to make the sun rise thrice (Chapter 1)

a fire that did not burn (2019 words)

The concluding work in the Herbs on the windowsill universe. An alternate timeline where the original Helsinki massacre was prevented and DYAD routed by Clone Club Alpha’s successful publicity stunt back in 2001. Veera Suominen and Niki Lintula survived and decided to live in a little apartment together as qpp’s.

A few years later, Veera and Niki have only grown closer, and they’re slowly healing and growing into a more fulfilling existence. Numerous Leda clones worldwide are now in contact via a secure online network that Veera maintains. And now, one of them is coming from continent away to meet Veera face to face for the first time.

Also on AO3 | Playlist | Aesthetic sideblog

Part 1: Herbs on the windowsill

Part 2: Someday colors

Part 3: Your chance to make the sun rise thrice | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Note: The conclusion to this project has been simmering on the back burner for quite some time, but what with the events of season 5, now seemed the best time for it get out in the world. Because I’m tired of the violence, and this is my answer to it. This piece is dedicated to everyone in need of something kinder.

From the other room, some repetitive sound pats out a muffled rhythm, so softly that Niki only realizes after a moment that it’s what woke her up. Yawning, she rolls out of bed in her long t-shirt and stands. She thinks she knows what it is. She pulls the door open.

Yep. Veera is restlessness in dusky purple and she’s pacing the length of their living room ceaselessly, a half-saturated silhouette of color in the dawn shadows. Her hands are twitching.

“This was a terrible idea,” she says in a low voice without looking at Niki or breaking the perfect meter of her stride.

“No, it wasn’t,” Niki says from the doorway. She rubs her eyes. The sun is just now barely rising, and it’s the longest day of the summer. This far north, that means it’s something like three in the morning. In Niki’s opinion, that’s way too early for anything, but Veera never can sleep well the night before something big is happening.

“Yes it is,” Veera insists. “Why did I want to meet her? She’s going to look at me and see my - see me, and I’m going to be - it’s going to be awful. Why did I do this?!”

“Veera,” Niki says, somewhat exasperated, “She already knows what you look like, she’s literally your clone. And you have literally sent her photos of us, so she knows what you look like, too.” She waits until Veera reaches the endpoint of the line her feet keep retracing to cross it without interrupting her rhythm, and plops herself onto the couch to at least have this conversation sitting comfortably. Balls, she thinks. Here we go again.

“No, no, no,” Veera says, staring down the carpet and shaking her head as she walks. “I’m going to have to talk to her, and you know how the words get tangled up inside when I get stressed, and I’m already - already - argh.” She suddenly stops in the middle of her circuit and presses her face down into her hands. Then, just as abruptly, she looks back up, flings her arms back down, and resumes her pacing, now in a more circular track. Past the doors to the bedrooms and bathroom, down toward the kitchen, past the big philodendron in the corner and Niki on the couch in front of the faintly lit window, and then around again. Her hands twist back and forth at the ends of her arms with more vigor now, like an inverted gesture of silent applause, but one that she doesn’t want anyone to see. There was a time she would not have let Niki see how distressed she was, and the way that distress expends itself through the the twitch of her hands, of her feet, of her head.

“Veera, it’s okay,” Niki says, softer now. “You’ve talked to her practically every day for, what, two years now? And she already knows that this is something that happens sometimes, because you already told her, because you already thought of this ahead of time, because you always think of everything. She knows you and she’s here to visit you, she’s not gonna run for the hills.”

“But what if I do,” Veera says dejectedly. “I don’t know if I can do this.” She flops onto the couch next to Niki and closes her eyes, her limbs suddenly gone limp with the admission. “And we haven’t talked. They’re instant messages.”

“I know.” Niki reaches out to take Veera’s hand in hers. Veera automatically tangles their fingers together without opening her eyes. For someone usually so guarded and sparing with touch, the utterly casual intimacy of the gesture is a condensed, powerful shorthand for a long history of familiarity. It makes Niki’s heart melt a little bit every time.

“It’ll be fine. Trust me,” Niki says. “Beth’s like, your best friend.”

Veera’s eyes snap open. “But you’re my best friend,” she says, giving Niki an almost wounded look.

Niki rolls her eyes. “You can have more than one of those, you dork,” she says with a smile. “Like, just because you’re my everything - and you know that you are - that doesn’t mean you have to be the only thing. Like, we talked about this when I started seriously seeing Suvi again, remember? And we made sure that we were still okay and on the same page with everything, and you were fine with that when it was me. Why not you? Nothing has to change how we are. Or, well, it can, if we want. But not what we are to each other.” Niki squeezes her hand just a little.

“There are a lot of great people in our lives now because of what we did four years ago, and because of the online network you set up for Project Leda,” Niki continues, “and I think it’s worth getting to know some of them. And it sounds like you’ve found one of the best of them, one who thinks so too, so much that she decided to jump an ocean to come see you.”

“She’s coming to look at the university, too, she’s not here just to see me,” Veera protests.

“Yeah, she pretty much is.”

“Rrrngh,” Veera says, flopping her head against the back of the couch again. Then she changes direction yet again like a wayward wind, sitting up and curling her legs under her in a single, carefully coordinated motion.

Veera stares into space for a moment, then turns her gaze to meet Niki’s and holds it as steadily as her hand. That fear that perpetually clings to her looms large now in those eyes, dark in the dimly lit room and framed by the dark hair that she’s cut pixie-short once again. But the fear is also being tempered by a powerful hope for the good things that could happen, hope that Veera hasn’t allowed herself to show until now. Niki runs a thumb over the back of Veera’s hand and blinks gently into that intense gaze, like a cat. Apparently that means I love you in cat language. Veera told her that once.

Then, Veera does something that makes Niki’s breath stop for several heartbeats in the morning stillness. She takes the hand she’s holding with both of her own, and presses it against her cheek - her scarred cheek.

Although their daily coexistence is a never-ending study in just how much meaning can be packed into these small intimacies, Niki has never once touched those scars in all the three years they’ve been living together. She never would have presumed to try, knowing how self-conscious Veera is about them. But now she can feel them against her knuckles. Although Veera usually acts like they’re a gruesome open wound, they simply feel like an irregular pattern of calluses. Nothing scary or repulsive. Just skin.

Gently, gently, Niki unfolds her hand to hold her face, fingers flush against the living filigree left by a long-ago fire. Veera sighs and tilts her head into the touch, as if seeking solace in the lines of her palm. A silent tear or two seeps into the space between Niki’s hand and her cheek. Niki’s heartbeat stumbles, and she brushes them away with her thumb and a sniffle of her own.

“I love you,” Veera says quietly.

Okay. Now I’m really gonna bawl and it’s not even four o'clock yet, Niki thinks. This really is gonna be the longest day.

Veera rarely says the words out loud, preferring as usual to let her actions and affections speak for her, and they never fail to do so eloquently. Niki’s the talkative one. But the words are there, hanging in the air with the first light of day. Maybe for today, we can swap for once.

Niki wipes her eyes on the back of her free hand. Then, she uses it to delicately turn Veera’s head to the side, so that she can lean forward and brush the lightest of kisses onto those marks that mean Niki will never, ever lose her among the hundreds of faces out there that look just the same and nothing alike. Then, she lets go to mop at her streaming eyes with both hands.

Niki feels hands on her shoulders, then arms arcing around to pull her into an embrace, and the weight of a head leaning against the side of hers. She lets herself be held. It’s okay to cry here, she reminds herself. That was one of their earliest rules in this tiny haven they carved out of the world together.

They stay like that for a time, Niki doesn’t know how long. Only that her eyes are half-closed and her soul is open, and that the whole place is turning more and more golden as it fills with light from the east.

***

Several hours, assurances, and cups of tea later, the resonant chime of the clock sounds a quarter til noon over the busy murmur echoing in the main terminal, and a train pulls into the Helsinki station. Its streamlined sides gleam in the rich late morning light.

On the platform, Niki has an arm around Veera, and she can feel her shoulders flinch slightly as the squeal of brakes echoes off all the hard concrete and metal in the awning-enclosed platform. But the motion passes through her and vanishes as if hardly noticed. Veera is leaning a little forward, her gaze locked on the train.

The doors clatter open. A small crowd of passengers emerges onto the platform, and most of them start immediately making their way toward their next destinations. Soon, the flow thins and there are only a few people left, including a girl in a long navy wool coat and a messy bun, who is stepping carefully in her heels off the train and into the sunlight. She’s staring away from them down the other side of the platform, searching.

The girl leans forward to better see down to the far end, but doesn’t find what she’s looking for, and straightens back up. Her posture is impeccable. She turns toward them slowly, leading with her head, revealing a very familiar face framed by little flyaway hairs, lit up by the sun in sharp golden contrast to the subtler blues and blacks of her ensemble. When her eyes find them, that face cracks into the kind of huge, toothy grin that will give her laugh lines early in life if it’s kind to her.

Niki waves and smiles at her, then looks at Veera, who is still standing motionless at her side.

“You gonna go on?” Niki says to her quietly.

Veera looks back at her with eyes wider than she’s ever seen. Their hazel is now brilliant, aflame with emotion and the bright light of the station. Then she takes one step, and she’s running right at Beth, who has dropped her single piece of luggage and is trotting to meet her as fast as she can.

They halt sharply half a meter apart and spend a frozen moment in some kind of preliminary assessment or wordless communication. Veera’s arms are flung slightly backward and out, like wings about to launch her skyward at any moment. Beth manages to give the impression that she’s hovering on tiptoe even in her heels, like she’s perched on a precipice and waiting to make a leap of faith.

Then Veera has collapsed that last distance between them by diving forward and seizing Beth around the middle and, apparently, squeezing her with all her strength, because Beth stumbles and wheezes with the force of it. Then Beth is hugging her back fiercely and making small incoherent yelps of delight, and she’s picked Veera up bodily to spin her around in sheer uncontainable exuberance.

Niki’s face is hurting from the breadth of the grin there that won’t go away. Veera starts laughing, filling the entire station with the sound of pure joy. It echoes as loudly as the chiming of the hour, and it’s as warm and brilliant as the midsummer midday sun streaming in through the gaps in the awnings far above.

Title deliberately misquoted from the poem in the epigraph of Games Wizards Play, by Diane Duane. Some of you nerds are probably aware of the reasons for this. The original ends with: and do not miss, ‘twixt fire and ice / your chance to make the sun rise twice. It’s about suns and stars and second chances and finding lost things and bringing them home.

#orphan black #veera suominen #niki lintula #beth childs #clone club #lizzie taking up space #lizzie's adventures in writing #mika ob #mk ob #herbs on the windowsill au #remembering the strength of this softness #with the earth down on your knees #for so high and honorable an estate

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scifibi · 7 years

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I reblogged it from my sideblog bellsclarkey 😊 Congratulations on you follower milestone!! Could you possibly write this prompt for bellarke? "you had an accident and hit your head. the doctor says you have some kind of amnesia that restarts your memory every few hours, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re still married so please stop with the flirty pick up lines" Thank you!!

thank you so much!

also, i turned this into an archaeologists au while i'm at it, bcos why not lmao

YOUR BELLARKE FIC:

[also on ao3]

Bellamy wakes up to a rhythmic, steady prodding, something both hard and soft jabbing into his temple, over and over again.

He snaps his head up from the bed he's currently slumped sideways over, his legs numb from hours in the hospital chair. "Clarke?"

She blinks at him, her face clean save for a couple of small scrapes and the butterfly bandage across her brow. "You're sleeping on my arm."

"Oh, shit." He opens his fists instantly, releasing her hand from the confines of his sleep-heavy slump. "Sorry, I— are you okay? How are you feeling?"

Her eyes travel slowly around the room, taking in the bed and the beeping machines. "Am I in the hospital?"

All the breath rushes out of him in a desperate wave of relief and worry. "Yes, you're in the hospital. Do you want some water? Here, have some water."

She merely blinks at the cup he brings over to her from the bedside table, frowning slightly at the straw he holds out to her before looking up at him.

"Are you a nurse?"

He rolls his eyes, even as he welcomes the release of anxiety lifting off his shoulders. If she's already back to cracking jokes, she must be feeling fine. "Sure, Clarke. Here, drink some water."

She sips obediently, settling back into her pillow as she watches him bring the cup back to the bedside table. "You're not wearing scrubs."

"They ran out of my colour," he says dryly, moving back to the bed to perch gently on it, careful to avoid jostling her.

She hums silently, head cocked as she observes him. "Shame. I love a man in a uniform."

He blinks at the familiar curve of her lips. That's definitely not her usual happy-Clarke smile. That looks a lot more like Clarke's I'm-about-to-make-YOU-very-happy smile.

"Clarke," he says, "are you feeling alright?"

She shifts on the bed, still smiling that coy smile. "Come on, now. That's not fair. You know my name, but I don't know yours." She pauses, head tilting invitingly. "FYI, this bed's not the only thing in this room that's single, you know."

He stares at her for a full three seconds, every last inch of him frozen solid.

And then he leaps off the bed, bounding to the door and flinging it open.

"Nurse!"

"It's an abbreviated form of short term memory loss," Dr. Woods explains as he stands at the foot of Clarke's bed, holding up an X-ray print-out. "There are no detectable fractures or major contusions, so the impact shouldn't leave any lasting damage. But for now, it appears that Dr. Griffin will experience some momentary lapses in her memory bank."

"For how long?" Bellamy asks, arms folded tightly across his chest. "What kind of lapses are we looking at here?"

Dr. Woods frowns in thought, tucking the print-out back into the folder in his other hand. "Her vitals are strong, all her reflexes are working fine. She knows personal details like her date of birth, her parents' names, her educational background. In fact, she appears to remember just about everything up until about five or six years ago."

"Which is right around the time we met," Bellamy sighs, glancing at her. She appears mildly interested by the news at best, preoccupied with a Jell-O cup brought in by Dr. Woods.

"Her memory should return on its own, and rather quickly, I think," the doctor surmises, tucking his hands into his coat pockets as he surveys her. "Maybe in a few days' time. Maybe even tomorrow. Although, there might be some slippage here and there. For example," he adds at Bellamy's confused frown, "she knows who you are now. But she might forget again in, say, an hour or two."

"Awesome," Bellamy says, with a small grimace.

Dr. Woods smiles. "In the meantime, keep her rested, hydrated, and out of the hot sun as far as you can help it. The important thing is to jog her memory as gently as possible. Try going about your usual daily routine as best as you can."

"Might have to pick just one of those things," Bellamy mutters. Their version of a 'daily routine' isn't what most would call normal.

Dr. Woods smiles. "Perhaps avoid the dig site for today. Take her somewhere she can rest that's familiar."

Bellamy sighs, unfolding his arms. "I can do that. Thanks, Dr. Woods."

"Lincoln. Please." The doctor reaches into his breast pocket, pulling out a small white card. "If you have any questions at all, Dr. Blake, don't hesitate to call."

Bellamy takes the card and tucks it into his jeans pocket, his free hand reaching out to shake the doctor's. "In that case, it's Bellamy to you."

Clarke cocks her head, plastic spoon still caught between her teeth. "Isn't that a girl's name?"

Bellamy groans.

"Are we really married?" Clarke asks as he slowly pulls out of the parking lot. It's been an hour since Lincoln gave them the green light to leave, but he's still worried.

He huffs a dry laugh, one that catches even himself by surprise. "You know, it's funny, but there was once a time where I probably wouldn't have believed it, either."

She frowns. "Why?"

He pulls to a gentle stop at a red light. "It's… complicated." He catches sight of her unamused expression, blue eyes narrowed at him. "Well, let's just say you didn't like me very much when we first met."

"Oh." Her nose wrinkles. "I find that hard to believe."

His brows shoot up on his forehead. "You do?"

She shrugs. "You're cute. And hot. And bossy, like me."

Bossy. He gapes at her.

She looks at him, face still scrunched in contemplation. "Maybe I was just attracted to you and didn't want to admit it. I tend to do that when I'm in denial. Go."

He blinks, dazed. "What?"

"Go," she repeats, pointing at the light. Which has turned green.

"Shit, right—" He quickly shifts the car into gear, starting forward.

The gentle hum of the engine fills the car for a few beats.

"Are you really a doctor?" she asks.

Bellamy glances at her. "Not that kind of doctor. I mean, well— I have a doctorate."

She nods, solemn. "I'm gonna get one too, you know."

He smiles. "You already did. Finished last year," he supplies at her confused frown.

"I did?" she says, surprised. "What did I do my thesis on? No, wait—" she flaps a hand at him, "—don't tell me. I should figure it out on my own. Don't want to spoil something for myself."

"You're a temporary amnesiac," Bellamy says, incredulous. "Not a time traveller."

She flips her hair. "Just being safe."

Once Bellamy's gotten Clarke safely installed in their cabin at the campsite, he calls Raven. Mostly because she's the only person onsite that Clarke's known for longer than six years, so if anything should help with the recovery of her memory, it would be Raven's presence.

Unfortunately, once Raven's been informed that Clarke's not in any real danger, she seems to think she's been summoned just so she can be thoroughly entertained by the whole situation.

"No, no, wait!" Raven exclaims, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Say the line again. The bed one!"

"No," Bellamy says flatly, getting up to fetch more iced tea.

"Say the one from the coffee shop! Come on, dude, please!"

Bellamy huffs, bringing the pitcher over to refill their empty glasses.

On their way back, they'd stopped off at a coffee shop to pick up sandwiches for lunch. While they were standing in line, Clarke had apparently experienced her first lapse, resulting in yet another embarrassing episode that had had Bellamy flushing red to the tips of his ears.

"You know, if you're not going to help—"

"I asked him if I could have his number," Clarke supplies readily. "Because I'd lost mine."

Raven actually keels over from how hard she's laughing.

"I can't believe this!" she manages through the peals of laughter. "You are actually the whitest frat boy!"

"This isn't news," Clarke tells Raven, smiling despite herself.

"It is when you've been boring as fuck ever since you married this prick," Raven retorts, jabbing a thumb towards Bellamy.

"Helpful," Bellamy repeats, settling back down into his seat beside Clarke.

Raven yanks her phone from her pocket, aiming the camera at them both with unabashed glee. "Okay, okay — say it again!"

Raven stays another two hours, which is about as long as she can afford to spare, with both Bellamy and Clarke temporarily removed from the dig site.

In that time, Clarke has yet another lapse, one in which she seems to think Bellamy is Raven's hot friend, and attempts to get him to feel her shirt which is, spoiler alert, made of girlfriend material.

Raven actually has to gasp for breath after that.

Before she goes, she makes one legitimately helpful contribution to the situation (finally), which is to record a video of herself basically telling Clarke, "Don't panic, your memory's out of whack for a bit, oh and, that dude with you is your husband, NOT your kidnapper".

Bellamy walks back into the cabin, tucking his phone back into his pocket. "Dr. Woods says walking is fine, just as long as you take it slow." He checks his watch and glances out the window. "It's pretty cool out by now. Sun's about to go down in an hour or so." He looks at her, questioning. "Are you tired? Do you want to take a nap, or—"

"I'm fine," she says, already standing. "A walk sounds good."

Bellamy's not sure who felt more unsafe on that simple hour-long walk: Clarke, when she'd lapsed and spent a full minute freaking out about being lost in the woods with a strange man, or himself, when he'd gotten her to watch Raven's video and then had to deal with a whole series of pick-up lines from his wife barely five minutes later, each one worse than the last.

When dinnertime arrives, he's reluctant to risk going to the mess area. Too many strangers, too many variables for Clarke to contend with. After considering his options, he pulls out his phone, and shoots off a text to Raven asking her to bring some food over.

In the end, he's not entirely sure going to the mess area hadn't been the better idea, especially when Clarke lapses again. Especially when she asks him if he's "a baker, because your buns look good", and Raven instantly loses her shit, nearly dropping her phone into a plastic tub of stew.

"This is insane," he mutters when Clarke disappears into the bathroom. "She wasn't ever like this when we first met!"

Raven rolls her eyes. "Yes, she was. You were just too busy flirting back to care."

He leans back, his mouth falling open in surprise. "We were fighting all the time!"

Raven makes a 'tsk' noise, impatient. "Which, as everyone here knows, is also flirting, Bellamy-and-Clarke stylez." She punches lightly at his shoulder. "You're the one that's different, idiot."

"I'm sorry."

Clarke looks up, her brows furrowed. "What?"

Bellamy sighs, moving over to sit on the bed next to her. "I haven't been very much fun today. I know I'm supposed to be… normal, help you relax and all, but I— I don't know. I guess I'm just worried about you."

A small hand covers his.

"It's fine, Bellamy," Clarke says with a small smile. "I understand. It's hard for you, too. I'm just trying to remember things, but you — you just want your wife back."

Bellamy swallows, daring to turn his palm about so his hand can wrap around hers. "She hasn't gone anywhere. You're still my wife, Clarke. I love you, memories or no." He squeezes gently, his other hand moving to rest lightly over hers. "Always will, princess."

She squints then. "Huh."

He frowns, leaning forward in concern. "What? Does your head hurt?"

"No, I—" She shakes her head, and blinks. "'Princess.' That sounds familiar."

His heart is filling up so fast, his chest lighter than it's been ever since he got the call telling him to come to the hospital forty-eight hours ago. "It does?"

She looks up at him, eyes narrowing playfully. "I'm guessing that has something to do with you?"

He smiles, and leans in carefully, pressing his lips to her temple. "Something," he agrees, pulling back to give her a fond look, his thumb rubbing over the back of her hand. "Although—"

She jumps slightly on the bed, throwing out a hand to cut him off. "No, don't tell me!" She grins, squeezing on his hand reassuringly. "I want to figure it out on my own."

In the morning, Clarke's memory returns.

"I mean, I still have some gaps here and there," she tells him as they're lying in bed, having spent the last forty minutes getting 'reacquainted'. "But all the important bits are there." She grins wolfishly, poking playfully at the bulge of his cock, lying limp and sated under the sheet. "Also, all the really important bits are here."

Bellamy catches at her hand, bringing it up to his lips so he can press a light, teasing kiss to it before rolling over, one elbow holding him up as he leans over her.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, Clarke Griffin," he says solemnly, releasing her hand so he can trail his down her body, "but whatever the case, I hope I'm next."

Her brows shoot up in surprise. "Hey, you made one! That was really—"

She doesn't get to finish the rest of her sentence.

He's pretty sure she doesn't mind.

#hope you like it! =)#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #she-is-made-of-outer-space #mel celebrates 1.5k #my writing

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venhedish · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @fallcolorspringrapid in this tag game! Thank yew, frand.

1. why did you choose your url? It's a swear word in the Tevene language from Dragon Age. No idea what it means as it's never been officially translated afaik. I like to think it means 'cunt' because that's funny to me and I am only a little 12-year-old boy. Actually, the word is 'Venhedis," but that was already taken on like every platform I tried to register it on, so I'm only Venhed-ish.~ 2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them. Yup! I run the @spn-trope-round-robin (you should check it out. We do a prompt meme over on AO3 every 2 months!). I'm also@necro-nomnomnom, where I post vaguely sexy horror aesthetic stuff. 3. how long have you been on tumblr? Since late December, 2020. I posted my first fic over on AO3 at the end of the year and wanted a place to share it. 4. do you have a queue tag? I did for a while but then I got lazy. I think it was just #q because it was the least amount of work to type. Now I just let my queued stuff post tagless like a heathen. 5. why did you start your blog in the first place? Oh. Oop. Answered this already. I came for the unabashed self-promotion and stayed for the galaxy brain takes and cool friends. And also still self-promotion. 6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? It's one of my favorite paintings and kinda captures my aesthetic. It's called Truth Coming out of Her Well to Shame Mankind and it is a MOOD (also it kinda looks like me):

7. why did you choose your header? It was so extremely generously gifted to me by @thegoodthebadandtheart, who is my favorite SPN fandom artist. Every time I look at it I get the warm fuzzies. <3 8. what’s your post with the most notes? This one, apparently. A long ramble about why Anti culture is anti-intellectual and dangerous from the last time there was a wincest-adjacent blocklist going around. 9. how many mutuals do you have? 71, if I counted right. And I cherish every single one of you weirdos. 10. how many followers do you have? 214. 11. how many people do you follow? 256. But about a quarter of them aren't related to the SPN fandom in any way. 12. have you ever made a shitpost? Yes probably. Everything I post is shit, and thus a shitpost by extension. (This is a joke.) 13. how often do you use tumblr each day? I went over a month without looking at it at all. Now I'm casually on a few times a day. I don't mindlessly scroll anymore, though. It was becoming a problem ngl. 14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won? I called someone a "ROTTEN CUCUMBER-BRAINED FOOL" in a reblog of someone spouting nonsense and they changed their bio to that for a while. You tell me who the winner is in that situation, because I think it was both of us. 15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? I don't know. I don't really know what that is? Peer pressure simply does not work on me so no, actually; I don't think I will. 16. do you like tag games? Yes! But I am also lazy and don't always respond to them. If you ever tag me and I don't respond, don't feel like you can't tag me again in something else! I always love the thought, even if I don't participate. 17. do you like ask games? See above. I'm even worse about answering asks from ask games, though. But I love to get them! 18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I dunno about famous, but I had a very good day when @quickreaver followed me back. Tumblr popularity doesn't, like, mean anything to me though. I just like you guys. 19. do you have a crush on a mutual? Literally like 5 of them. 👉👈😳 20. tags? @ohnoitsthebat, @flatbedford, @ravingliberal, @ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty, @queergoblin I just grabbed some names out of a hat. Feel free to play and say I tagged you.

#tag game #about me

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adhdvane · 3 years

Note

Anon back again, don't worry about delay in answer! I'm not expecting you to reply in a matter of seconds and I'm patient anyway! (●'◡'●) (and yeah, tumblr's notification system kinda suck so really, not your fault haha)

I understand your struggle with fics all too well lol I'm sure a time will come when it just clicks and you can write the good stuff ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ And no need to feel bad if you haven't posted a lot on ao3! You don't have to have 1000 fics or 200k word-long fics for your works to be enjoyable!! Even little ficlets and drabbles are good to have around ♥

It's good of you to have taken time for yourself if you needed it ♥ And yeah, completely understandable to hesitate and come back to fandom in general with the current state of things (a couple years ago I made an IE/Go sideblog and I'm still terrified that someone is going to come up and yell at me for shipping the characters lmao And that's without counting the Problematic™ fics I wrote when I was 16 lmao)

Regarding your tags, I'm just sitting there like starry-eyed because YES TenKyou. I'm DELIGHTED to know that's your preference because that's mine too for the ship asklhjkh

As for Todd and Prof Mirror, that's a tough and personal question, so good luck! (I'm thinking Todd topping's nice but does it make the prof kink better or not is the question!! ALSO in the french version, I know there's a line from Todd going like "Mirror was already being called Professor before he was a professor" so maybe he's not the only one with a prof kink, just from a different angle, hah)

(you say sorry for rambling, but joke's on you, I ramble too! Sorry for clustering your blog though woops Have a good day! (´･ω･`) )

rip, okay, once again i apologize about this one being even later, mostly bc i saw it early, but i haven't been able to sit down and respond to it. this week was the last week of the month so i actually had a lot to do at work and was able to go in every day (as opposed to 1 - 2 days bc business is still so slow). but at the end of the month i do invoicing for inventory charges for that month for each customer. though i was able to actually get a lot of it done sooner than usual (bc i actually started the process on tuesday instead of thursday), there were still three big ones i couldn't even do until thursday bc they had several orders in production that didn't get shipped until thursday. I was going to finally get to this ask on friday when i got home (we only work half days on friday and close at noon)… but the new gbf event had started… and uhg… a sho centric event. g od.

rest of the word vomit under the cut

before i just—IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THIS GBF RAMBLING FEEL FREE TO SKIP BELOW TO THE END THE GBF OF RAMBLE—this event askjdsjkdfslkdjsdjg talk about giving the antag his redemption art event. the emotional growth in sho. so many new assets to save… there are fricking 6 different versions of his character labeled _painful (_painful, _painful2, etc.), and like so many zoom in's that basically every one of his images has an _up version (the battle ones ((the ones of him on his gearcycle)) also have a bunch of _up2 versions that are zoomed in between the default and _up close up) anyways these in particular kill me.

sho "i'm-not-going-to-cry-or-show-expresions-of-gratitude" awkwardly smiling and crying in this event (while also repeatedly getting the shit kicked out of him/getting hurt. having a moment of breaking down from exhaustion and pain, in the rain, before deciding he has to swallow his pride. every single english word that comes out of his mouth, cv: taniyama kishou is a gift (on a side note i can't believe he fucking played alpha in chronostone. like thats fucking hilarious a va and voicalist capable of such range and drama voicing alpha and his serious monotone ass). Sho (@tsubasa): You showed me the light before—[…] Tsubasa: Wait, what? Whaddya mean I showed you the light? ((you mean when he punched you in the fucking face at the end of the previous event of this series?))). I mean I already shipped bc of the their last event, how can you not ship the guy screaming he's going to kill the protag w/the protag esp after getting punched in the face by the protag at the end makes him calm down and be like fine i guess you win i'm not going to try to kill you know and our gangs don't have to fight. also they're both like 16 (or at least tsubasa is canon 16 (a yeas totally looks like a 16 year old) and sho is at least still in school and at least confirmed to be a minor (not age of majority, which idk what that is exactly in universe, could be 18, could be 20, bc it is fantasy, but it's also japanese, thoguh japan's age of majority is actually lowering from 20 to 18 next april (2022), drinking/smoking/gambling age will still be 20, and the comment in this event was about we're still minors save the smoking for when you're an adult). sho could arguably be 18 or 19 and still believably in school and be considered a minor legally (if in universe gbf follows japanese laws) considering the time he spent in juvie he could easily have been held back. gbf will probably just make him tsubasa's age if a canon age is release. but thinking about sho being 19 and tsubasa being 16 would make some ppl upset and that brings me joy. (also just how funny it could be thinking about (bc everyone is perpetually the same age) how later when sho a year older and legally being able to drink, and tsubasa not, and despite the fact sho being like i will break the laws about physically assaulting a guy but underage drinking, smoking, and drugs is a no-no is fucking hilarious. (the app is rated t so i guess there's only so much you can do…) (oh and one last note, a character in the event asking if sho enjoys the pain and is a masochist, to have other character be like dude you can't just ask someone that. sho saying no he doesn't enjoy the pain. only for later when they are escaping, a character noting "You look rather happy about all this. Now I'm sure youre a masochist." gbf first crushing my sho masochist headcanon and then building it back up in this event, thank u gbf). anways, rip that was a lot and not even everything, as you can see i have been… distracted by this event. apologies

—END OF GBF RAMBLE—

oh god worry about ppl like that in ina like, there really people out there who don't want you shipping ficitional children?????? and the main ina cast is roughly between 12-15. and got i started watching ina in 2013 when i was 19. which apparently for some people is like bad uwu because it's a show for young teenagers (like lol too bad i'm 27 and even though i haven't kept up with aries i still love ina and all the little babies and wont stop shipping). i didn't even know there was people out there who get UPSET AT AGING UP??? like wtf???? sorry i want them to be old enough to marry, adopt children, have a job, and also f.uck. the dpk au is my lifeblood (and has a lot of Problematic™ content that's never even been posted online anywhere bc it used to be an rp. my favorite is that out of all the relationships in the au, tenma and kyousuke's is probably the most unhealthy bc of kyousuke's mental health. some very bad things happened to fei (per request of my rp partner) (part of vanfeny and garsha's revenge on saru as they were sent to megun while saru walks around ''free'' (what exactly is free is a whole other lore mess in itself that i wrote up about post chrono stone future). and that just lead to more bad things fei then did to himself. problematic™ content 9492347 in the dpk au, shipping ozrock and lalaya. (even worse, bc of lore planning i did for the au and decided how their species worked, lalaya is about 6.5 cycles (faram obius years) or roughly 130 earth years and biologically similar to 13 year earth years, and ozrock is about 48 Ixal years roughly 48 earth years and biologically similar to 24 earth years. so like even a worse ship. i mean just ignore cultural norms would be different on an alien planet and also she's royalty and has an obligation to be wed even younger and is probably socially more mature than a human 13 year old. rip sorry i just like alien stuff. a lot of this was also because wouldn't it be great for lalaya to have a really long lifespan so the human friends she makes get older faster and also die way before her :) ina's gunna hurt me with the bug aliens then i'm going to… continue to hurt myself with more alien life span stuff.)

Anyways, With TenKyou, idk I think it's easy to paint tenma as the innocent ~pure baby~ and kyousuke as ~bad boy~ bc of the first inago… and seed kyousuke was a little bastard man (affectionate). which would idk explain the default to kyouten. but like kyousuke chills the hell out in chrono stone and galaxy. and just bc tenma is a dumbass with a heart of gold obsessed with soccer doesn't necessarily mean he's has to be ~innocent baby 受け~ trope. (not that these are the only tropes that decide) (maybe it's bc i sort of like messing with what it must be like to be the main protagonists best friend and watch him continue to overcome everything and be in the spot light and how everyone praises him. kyousuke with self-esteem issues, looking back at all the problems he's caused, tenma has flaws but they're either negligible or something to love about him and mine have only hurt others. disregarding his own goddamn plot armor in the past. complex, emotional, suffering kyousuke is how i like my kyousuke. need we even get into how god eden was canonically revealed to be physically/mentally abusing seeds and that whole can of worms) (also just "nervous baby i don't know how to approach tenma" kyousuke, "cheeky little shit doesn't have any regards to personal space and boundries" tenma) at least if anyone starts giving me shit about an ina ship or problematic fictional ina content, i can always respond with something i drew back in 2015.

back to the matter of new snap though… that line is so familiar (im pretty sure it's in the eng txt, i have it set to jpn audio tho). i recently started keeping a log of the messages that pop up on the camp, lab, and map screens (but haven't saved too many bc i get distracted or at least i know i'm missing quite a few i have vague memories of). (also idk why my first thought to that line was mirror responding with "That was because you were the one calling me that.") there actually were a couple messages i saved initially that would be useful for fic writing:

Todd: "The professor used to be kinda reckless back in the day. I suppose after 10 year he must've calmed down a bit."

and

Mirror: "Todd's calmed down since I last saw him. Or maybe he's just acting mature because you kids are around…"

possible implications from these that I'm deciding to consider for headcanons:

both reckless and wild in their early 20's but that's not unusual, so they were acting like reckless young adults when they were 20. makes sense.

because mirror mentions the last time i saw him (which is definitely implied not 10 years ago since todd had a research team pin so obviously he's been around a bit since the lab was established) meaning todd is potentially still a chaotic bastard but is just trying to act like an adult in front of the kids. beautiful.

and on that note another wonderful Tood message:

Todd: "I never invited Phil to be my pupil—he just declared himself my "number one student" and started tagging along! But honestly…I was kind of flattered."

the possibility that when todd showed up in game, after that cutscene he went to talk to mirror like "this 10 year old just started following me and wont go away, pls help. what do i do?????"

this unsupervised 10 year old just followed a ~30 year old man into the wilderness and somehow just declares todd is mentor (and took the research team pin from todd to ''borrow''). this is a hostage situation. todd is the hostage.

the idea that perhaps todd just got back from a long expedition and was glad to be back and spend time with mirror, except this kid started following him around and wont leave him alone or go away, and then when he got to the lab there were two more kids there. how the fuck am i supposed to get it on with mirror when we have little alone time and when we finally do we're constantly at risk of being interrupted and/or walked-in on. (that last part was mainly the premise of the fic i wanted to write. "these kids are a handful how are we supposed to have intimate time. especially bc they're all so young and have child energy levels and when they go to bed i am already fucking exhausted." i'm thinking it might work better as like a drabble collection, that way i don't have to adhere to a plot line and can pick and choose scenarios to write because i keep winding up with more scenario ideas that i can nearly piece together into a coherent timeline anymore.)

(also a bit that rita becomes suspicious that they are 100% fu.cking even though all that happened was mirror wasn't asleep up in his bed above the lab and fell asleep in one of the bungalows w/todd and then tried to cover it up like haha what no, i was checking on todd he's not feeling well uh… what? where are my pants? oh. oh i can't believe i just totally got out of bed and left the lab without my pants haha.) (todd and mirror just trying to keep their relationship a secrete out of fear of rumors spreading and it affecting the lab's funding, even though rumors definitely started ages ago but neither of them realize). (also todd doesn't trust phil to keep his mouth shut and doesn't like the optics of the random 10 year old who started following him (UNSUPERVISED) just blabbing to his parents about how his cool mentor is dating the professor at the lab like yikes that could end badly worst case scenario.)

(i like the idea of mirror playing along with todd's ki.nk, albeit a little awkward sometimes (not very good at being intentionally 'sexy' about it, but that's not what todd wants anyways bc it's already inherenty sexy for him). Phill has a message "I barely get half the stuff the professor talks about. Do you?" and i can only image if he said that to todd

todd: （人*´∀｀）i know it's hot

phil: what)

anyways i hope you don't mind me rambling even more on your asks like this. last time i totally just cut chunks out to be smaller but this time… i'm going to leave things in rip.

#ask #anon #thank you or bearing with me #i haven't been on tumblr the whole week oops #sammy be quiet #i have been thinking about them a lot though #alSO RIP I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TENKYOU A LOTT TO BECAUSE OF YOU #listening to ina music on the way to work every day this week #but also now i've just entered tsubasa/sho hell because of the new gbf event #their previous event was in 2018 so it's been some time #i didn't except sho to ever get content again #and now i know he's gunna get a gacha release when the banner changes to gala #and i want him so bad #if i don't get him.......... i would be willing to later sup ticket his ass though it'll be a while til he'd be ticketable rip #cw kink mention ///////#the dpk au means a lot to me even now #also speaking of ina shipping my first ina ship tsunatachi and god there was a really good doujin artist on pixiv oh boy #some people on here would lose their shit over like so much of pixiv's content #idk man #i apologize if some stuff doesn't make sense bc brain just vomits out words and thinks everything is in the correct order

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