#(As Lennon once said - they all had egos)

[reflectismo]

Paul later offered an analytical view of [Henry] McCullough’s and [Danny] Seiwell’s departures, but his analysis showed that he had not quite internalized the lesson of the band’s disintegration; in fact, he remained in denial about the musical issues behind McCullough’s and Seiwell’s resignations.

“When I came out of the Beatles, I got slated for being a bit too heavy with the other guys in the band,” he said. “It was a bit as if I was taking over as the manager. I thought with the new band, I’ll give them total freedom, so no one can accuse me of that again . . . and you can’t do that either. You started to have people saying, ‘Hey man, c’mon, produce us.’ No one would take up the baton, the role. So I came back to that. “The whole of ‘Wings Mark I’ was to see if that could be done. But there was too much indecision, and I wasn’t willing enough to take the thing by the scruff of the neck and say, ‘Look, I think we’ve gotta organize the solos you’re gonna play.’ It was a bit like we’re gonna be the Grateful Dead and we’re just gonna play what comes up. But to do that you’ve gotta know each other for a long time.”

[…]

Henry was surprised when Paul telephoned, but he agreed to a meeting at MPL. They smoked a couple of joints and downed half a bottle of whisky, while Paul asked Henry what he was up to and told him some tales of Lagos. “Look,” Paul said, “I know we’ve had our differences, but I really appreciate the time you’ve been with the band, and I want you to have this.” He handed Henry a check for £5,000 ($12,000) and a flight case full of guitar strings.

McCullough was touched by the gesture, but he was bemused by Paul’s indifference to whether the fracturing of Wings suggested problems with his approach to running a band. “Two of the band members in Wings walked out in the same week for different reasons, and he never asked why,” Henry mused. “You can take from that what you want.”

— The McCartney Legacy, Volume 1: 1969 – 1973 by Allan Kozinn and Adrian Sinclair (2022)

#Paul McCartney #Wings #(As a fan really appreciate this insight) #(Really puts into perspective the valid criticisms George especially had during the last few Beatle years) #(My friend Paul you needed to give up control from time to time and really listen) #(As Lennon once said - they all had egos) #The McCartney Legacy #Allan Kozinn and Adrian Sinclair #Henry McCullough #Denny Seiwell

[mydaroga]

I know it's been awhile, but I had to start reading Tune In over, because I got the expanded one. Some notes, partly for myself but I'm happy for anyone to weigh in if I'm not too disjointed!

The Prologue (the bits in the longer one anyway: see tag for previous edition)

They also shared the same goddesses, the fantasy figures who kept men awake at night in the late 1950s, like Anita Ekberg, Juliette Gréco and Brigitte Bardot.

Look I just want a record of what types of girls they jacked too, so thank you, Mark.

I'd heard about some of the following but not seen or maybe just not noticed the actual words, so here are some 'lost' or early Lennon-McCartney originals:

Too bad about sorrows, too bad about love, There’ll be no tomorrow, for all of your life.

Emo AF, boys.

They said our love was just fun / The day that our friendship begun. There’s no blue moon that I can see / There’s never been in history.

@inspiteallthedanger mentioned this to be once and it's not that I didn't believe her but seriously.

Another number seems to have been called Because I Know You Love Me So.

...

I’ve Been Thinking That You Love Me, If Tomorrow Ever Comes, That’s My Woman, and Won’t You Please Say Goodbye. A song called Years Roll Along (‘It might have been winter when you told me…’) was never completed.

Just noting for my obsessive fic historiography.

From the outset, John and Paul settled on Lennon-McCartney as a partnership. Neither planned to do anything with these songs (to send them off to singers, publishers or record companies) but they agreed – by actually discussing it, albeit briefly – that each could continue to operate independently, writing songs on his own and then bringing them to the other for approval and the joint Lennon-McCartney credit. ‘We decided on that very early on,’ says Paul. ‘It was just for simplicity really, and – so as to not get into the ego thing – we were very pure with it.’

Pretty sure I flagged this last time, but I'm sorry. This just doesn't get the attention it requires, though not, I think, for lack of our fascination. There are so many questions here. How did this conversation go? Why did they decide it applied to songs written alone? Did they simply never talk about revising it, and if so, why not? If they did, which surely they must have, why did it never change? It's BONKERS. And as always, Paul is so difficult to parse. When he says "so as not to get into the ego thing" is he speaking in present tense, like he's not going to discuss it? Or is he saying this decision had something to do with ego at the time? Sadly, it's an author interview so I can't see the whole context. Which probably wouldn't help, because it's Paul. Using words.

Paul, who knew no one else with a typewriter and counted no other poet among his friends, was heavily impressed. John was deep , and there were few higher compliments.

Oh Paul. Bless.

And so Lennon-McCartney stood shoulder to shoulder as equals, connected at every level, their considerable talents harmonised, their personalities meshed, their drive unchecked, their goal in focus. They were a union, stronger than the sum of their parts, and everything was possible.

I mean, I don't disagree. But this is the sort of thing I'm not enjoying about Lewisohn's style. He's clearly not unbiased or detached, and I find his "I'm writing!" voice so labored. I value this tome and everything he is trying to do but I'm going to continue to remind myself that he's just like everyone else and this is not the final word, end all be all Beatle book.

#Kris reads tune in #mark lewisohn #Beatles books #kris talks a lot

[zeldasnotes]

Birth Chart analysis of Mark David Chapman:

(The man who killed John Lennon)

Mark David Chapman was 25 years old when he killed John Lennon. The reason for the killing according to him was John Lennons lifestyle but mostly John Lennons remark that The Beatles are more popular than Jesus and the Lyrics from the song ”God” and ”Imagine. He has later also said that he killed him for glory and that he wanted to become infamous by killing the most famous person at the time. He has also changed his mind once again and told interviewers that he was jealous of John.

⚠️Im not saying anyone with these aspects will behave like him in any way. He is mentally ill and a really bad person and thats the main reason for his actions.

Moon in Capricorn:

Moon in Capricorn shows how determined he was to do what he felt he wanted to do. Remember he planned this for a long time and was even going to do it earlier but changed his mind. This also shows his fixation on people with status and fame.

Moon in 2nd house:

He was stubborn, extremely envious and had a very fixed mindset. He was jealous of John Lennons lifestyle and wanted what he had. He said: "It made me angry and jealous compared to the way I was living at the time. There was jealousy in there."

Pluto 9th house:

This one kind of explain itself and this was the placement I was expecting to see when I read about the reason for the killing. Extremely religious and sensitive to what people said about anything that has to do with his religion. He is still just as fixated on religion as he was back then and has in prison pledged to become an evangelist. He also said this years after the murder: "Look how low I went, but yet God still loves me and cares about me and has given me purpose and meaning in my life."

Jupiter 8th house:

8th house rules fixations and obsessions and the planets we have here can be what we feel extremely intensely about and he obviously felt intensely about jupiter related things (religion). The 8th house also rules envy and he was obviously a very jealous person.

Narcissus in the 1st house:

Its very narcissistic of him to believe that he is morally above others. Narcissistic people also need a lot of attention and might hate seeing others get it. This is what Mark said himself: "At the time my thinking was he has all of this money, lives in this beautiful apartment and he is into music representing a more cautious lifestyle, a more giving lifestyle," Chapman told parole commissioners. "It made me angry and jealous compared to the way I was living at the time. There was jealousy in there."

Saturn conjunct Asc:

Saturn conjunct Ascendant can make someone very judgmental and conservative. He obviously need to get off his high horse and stop judging ”sinners”. This also shows his need to play teacher and ”punish” people. People with this aspect have the habit of berating people. This also shows how he felt morally above others and believe he had the right to punish by killing someone.

Dejanira in the 9th house:

Dejanira can show where we are sensitive and weak. He was very sensitive about religion. He might also feel easily victimized by others here.

Sun conjunct Nessus:

Nessus is the asteroid of abuse and he was obviously abusive. This also shows his need to target other people ”He had a list of three other potential targets in case Lennon did not work out.” Nessus also rules obsession and he was said to be obsessed with John Lennon.

Sun Square Pluto:

Sensitive ego and a need to feel powerful. A lot of people with this aspects also need fame and power. Competetive and obsessive with other men.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #birth chart readings #chart analysis #birth chart #sun conjunct nessus

[delightfullyatomicfest]

John interviewed in Melody Maker part 3

MELODY MAKER DECEMBER 20 1969 - 

FROM ALL THE publicity, welcome and unwelcome, that they have received during their two years together, John and Yoko Lennon might seem to have little or no private life together. In fact, they appear wilfully to present their joint life to the public, for that most altruistic and most misunderstood reason: to set a good example. 

John has said in the past that he’d like them to be remembered as the Romeo and Juliet of the age, and when he says that I don’t believe he’s being egotistical. In fact the Lennons may, in a left-handed sort of way, be doing the establishment a favour - by bringing marriage back into fashion. 

Like anybody else, they do have a more private side to their life, and John comments, “There’s nothing I like more than to get home at the end of the day and sit next to Yoko and say, ‘Well, we’re together at last.’ Although we may have been holding hands all day, it’s not the same when we’re working or talking to the press. We feel a hundred miles apart by comparison.” 

It’s obvious that they have changed each other, the change in John being more noticeable because we knew more of his earlier self. But how did meeting John change Yoko ’s life? 

“He’s changed everything in a sense that I was a very lonely person before I met him,” she says. “Most people in the world are very lonely, that’s the biggest problem, and because of their loneliness they become suspicious. And the reason we’re lonely is because we can’t communicate enough from the various complexes we have and from the various social habits we’ve created. We become very inhibited, but when I met John I started to open up a little, through love, you know, and that’s the greatest thing that happened to me yet. 

“There are various facets to my life and my personality, and I never met anybody else who could understand me. We understand each other so well, and I’m not lonely any more - which is a shocking experience, really. 

Also, through loneliness or something, I was starting to become a very firm and strong ego. .. but that’s melting away, and it’s very nice.” 

On the other side of the coin, how does John feel Yoko has changed him? 

“Exactly the same, of course. I was lonely, and didn’t have full communication with anybody and it took a bit of adjusting. She rediscovered or cultivated the thing that existed in me before I left Liverpool, maybe, and recultivated the natural John Lennon that had been lost in the Beatles thing and the worldwide thing. She encouraged me to be myself, because it was me that she fell in love with, not the Beatles or whatever I was. 

“When you get sidetracked you believe it, and when you’re in the dark you believe it. She came and reminded me that there was light, and when you remember there’s light you don’t want to get back in the dark again. That’s what she did for me.” 

Yoko : “But you know I didn’t do it intentionally or anything. It’s the falling-in-love bit: you start to see all sorts of things that you don’t see if you’re not in love. I found that he has all these qualities that he was hiding away. Even in a practical sense, music-wise, he was doing all sorts of freaky things at home, just recording it on a cassette or something, but not really showing it publicly. Publicly he was doing The Beatles’ things. But he showed me all these cassettes and things and I said, ‘Why don’t you produce these as records? ’ 

“I performed the role of a mirror in a way. He was doing all those things anyway - I didn’t suggest them. It was there - and that goes for his drawing, paintings, and poetry too - especially his drawings. He’s got a stack of beautiful drawings at home, and this one series he did is going to be produced as sort of lithograph. They’re not like his cartoons - they’re another kind of drawing. I think they’re better than Picasso .” 

“She’s biased,” said John happily. 

“You’ll see them next year,” continued Yoko. “And those things were always there in John- they just came out, but artists do need encouragement. We’re always together, like 24 hours of the day. At the beginning, when we were less sure and we were still the previous us, once in awhile when John was recording I’d go shopping on the King’s Road or something -now we couldn’t conceive of that. 

“People say that if you’re together 24 hours a day for two years you must get sick and tired of each other, but it’s the contrary,” asserted Yoko. 

“We got so addicted to that situation that we miss each other more. It’s a very strange scene.” 

John: “Somebody said, ‘Won’t you get so reliant on each other that you can’t manage without each other?’ and we said yes! The only thing that could split us is death, and we have to face that. . . and we don’t even believe we’ll be split then, if we work on it. Our only worry in the world is that we die together, otherwise even if it’s only three minutes later it’s going to be hell. I couldn’t bear three minutes of it. 

“Most marriages have a little pretence going on, and we thought, ‘Are we going to have to pretend that we’re happy together because we daren’t say that we want to be apart?’ But that doesn’t happen. When two of you are together, man and wife, there’s nothing that can touch you. You have the power of two people, you have the protection - you don’t need the society or the room or the uniform or the gun, because you have the power of two minds, which is a pretty powerful thing.” 

A major part of most marriages is childbearing. John and Yoko have one child each by their previous. How important do they think a child will be to their relationship? 

“We’re not even sure that we want children/’ said John. “We’re that jealous. But if God or whoever gives us a child we’ll accept it. Maybe we’d like two or three. But even then we have to consider: is a child going to interfere between us? How can we look after a child and be together 24 hours a day?” 

Yoko : “It’s not fair to the child, maybe, because we are so close. The child will be somebody that will be saying ‘hello’ once in awhile.” 

John: “Obviously it’ll probably be different if we have one, because all the times she’s pregnant we consider it. We’re full into it, wanting a child, but when you lose it and you get over the pain then you consider whether you wanted the child. Now maybe we had that in the back of our minds all along, and that’s why she lost it. We don’t really know whether we want one or not. If she gets pregnant we’ll want one, but I’d like her not to be pregnant for a bit - she’s been pregnant since I met her! 

“I’d like her to stay slim for ayear and then maybe have one. But we don’t fancy birth pills, because I don’t trust them and anything else is out of the question ( laughs ) because it’s inconvenient. We’re not like that - we try to act naturally at all times. That’s one of our problems, besides death. It’s in God’s hands.” 

Richard Williams 

#John and Yoko #that bit about kids... oof #melody maker #December 1969

[beatlesdumpsterfire]

Prompt: John Lennon is the greatest, manliest, edgiest alpha male musician ever.

Let it be known unto the people that John Lennon is the greatest, manliest, edgiest alpha male musician ever.

These were the words that John Lennon repeated to himself every single day. There was no denying it: he was one sexy-ass motherfucker. So sexy, in fact, that he knew he could sweep the frickin Queen off her feet. It would be impossible for her to resist his alpha male manly-man charm.

While John repeated his mantra into the mirror of their dressing room before one of their gigs, the rest of his bandmates watched behind him, frowning with concern.

“He hasn’t always been this way, has he?” Ringo asked in a hushed tone.

“No, he’s always been a cocky lad,” Paul murmured. “He’s just letting it consume him now.”

“I think the camera crew may need to put up a warning before showing me handsome face on the tele tonight,” John turned to face his band members. “Otherwise all the birds will be pregnant in no time.”

This was a genuine concern for John to have, carrying the weight of being the greatest, manliest, edgiest alpha male musician ever. It was a stressful title to hold, but John knew that he was the only one on the planet who could do it. This was his purpose, his raison d’etre. And plus, edgy, manly, alpha males can’t complain. It’s not in their DNA.

“I think you may need an intervention,” George said slowly.

John let out a hearty chuckle and turned back to the mirror to admire his gorgeous cheekbones once more.

“That’s a good one, George,” he replied. “Especially since interventions are for the weak. And I’m not weak. I’m anything but weak. I’m an alpha. A manly, manly alpha. And I’m edgy. I smoke six cigarettes at once just because I can. The air isn’t good enough for my lungs.”

“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far, John?” Paul begged.

“I exceed the limit on everything I do simply because I am the best,” John stated. “It’s not something I can help, it’s merely reality and, if you can’t accept that, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

Away from John, Paul, George, and Ringo reconvened.

“I think we need to humble him down,” Ringo conspired.

“That should do the trick,” Paul agreed.

“But how?” George asked. “He’s got the biggest head I’ve ever seen, I don’t know how his neck supports it.”

“We just have to tell him the harsh truth,” Paul decided.

“Yes,” Ringo nodded, ��that his shoes look stupid.”

“That’s a start,” Paul said. They fanned out from their circle, facing John once more, and George called out to catch his attention. John rolled his eyes in the mirror because they were interrupting something really important and turned back around.

“What?” he asked. Paul nudged Ringo in the side, nearly making him lose his balance, and Ringo fumbled for his words.

“Your shoes are stupid,” he finally said. John raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry to see you projecting your insecurities onto me, Ringo,” he responded coolly. “I understand that you’re jealous, and that’s alright. I know you’ll move past it eventually.”

“This is gonna be harder than we thought,” George grumbled.

“Mick Jagger has more musk than you,” Paul tried. While that slowed John down for a second, he was able to bounce back quickly.

“If you call that musk, then you smell like a candy store,” John retorted. Paul’s shoulders sagged.

“When was the last time you actually shagged a bird?” George asked.

“Last night,” John said too quickly. “Tell your mother she was lovely.”

“Oh god,” Paul groaned out.

Each attempt they made to bring John down only made him stronger. He could sense their growing frustration but, more than anything, he wanted them to continue on. His ego was off the charts and he was in euphoria.

But, to his dismay, they had all thrown in the towel.

“I walked straight into that one,” George murmured to the ground. “I don’t want to say anything else stupid.”

“He called my shoes stupid,” Ringo agreed.

Paul looked at John with sad eyes and heaved out a sigh.

“I’m gonna get some fresh air. See ya on stage, John.”

"Fresh air is for the weak," John called to Paul as he left.

With shaking heads, George and Ringo trailed behind Paul, leaving John in the room alone.

“You’ve done it again, Lennon,” John whispered to himself. “The last man standing, because you are the best, the greatest, supreme.”

And then he leaned forward and kissed his reflection in the mirror right on the lips with so much passion, Narcissus would be jealous.

The sexy bastard deserved it.

#beatles ask #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #ringo starr #my apologies to anyone who is following me #this is the last one #I promise

[cultofbeatles]

parts of pattie boyd’s book wonderful tonight that involved george that stuck out to me:

pattie didn't have any of the beatles records at first and only bought please please me since she was going to be in their film 

“on first impressions, john seemed more cynical and brash than the others, ringo the most endearing, paul was cute, and george, with velvet brown eyes and dark chestnut hair, was the best looking man i’d ever seen.”

during a lunch break pattie and george sat next to each other and were both very shy 

george asked pattie “will you marry me?” and after she laughed he said, “well, if you won't marry me, will you have dinner with me tonight?” and she turned him down.

she deadass invited george to hang out with her and her boyfriend at the time.

pattie and george are both pisces.

once reshoots for the film were happening george asked pattie about her boyfriend, she said she had dumped him, and george once again asked her for dinner. she accepted this time.

brian epstein joined them for their first date.

they sat side by side and were too scared to even hold the others hand.

george got along great with pattie’s family.

pattie liked cynthia lennon but found her difficult to make friends with. 

“she wasn't like my friends, who enjoyed a giggle and some fun: she was rather serious, and often, i thought, behaved more like john’s mother than wife.”

there was a rumor that john and pattie were having an affair and pattie worried cynthia believed it. it wasn't true.

maureen cox (ringo’s girlfriend) was another beatles girl that pattie had a hard time being friends with. but said that she was “jolly and friendly, more relaxed than cynthia.”

pattie got along best with jane asher but saw her the least.

“i felt there was definitely a north-south divide among the wives and girlfriends. and i had the definite impressions that the girls from the north (maureen and cynthia) felt they has a prior clam to the boys.” okay shade, we see you. 

(talking about going on holiday with john, cynthia, and george) “it was a good way to split the group. john and paul were the closest in some ways and immensely creative together, but they clashed if they were in each other’s pockets for too long.”

george asked pattie to cut his hair while on holiday and one of the cleaners found his hair and kept it. 

(talking about george) “he was so beautiful and so funny.”

once a “weird looking man” tried to force his way into pattie and george’s house. pattie thought he was either a salesman or a jehovahs witness. it turns out it was paul in disguise. 

george said the only place he got peace was in the bathroom of his hotel suite.

pattie got a lot of letters saying that if she didn't leave george there would be a curse put on her.

 pattie’s cleaner was a male ballet dancer and “a terrific duster.”

pattie would count the days till george came back. once he jumped into the bed early in the morning to wake her up. 

those two would deadass not lock their doors and were surprised that clothes were going missing...what is with older generations and not locking their doors i -

george would be in the studio from 11 am - 11 pm. sometimes midnight. 

george’s mom loved when john would visit and would always ask him for an “upper.”

when john lennon is your drug dealer.

pattie wasn't a good cook but was optimistic.

“i loved listening to him (play guitar), loved the sound of the guitar in the house. sometimes i would start to talk and he'd be so deep in thought about the lyrics or the melody he was writing that he wouldn't answer. we’d be the same room but he wasn't really with me: he was in his head.”

pattie developed a kidney disorder.

(talking about the beatles dynamic) “in many aspects they were still children. they had few real friends apart from each other, and when they were asked questions they could answer as one - they were so much on each other’s wavelength. if one went to a gallery opening, they all went; if one bought a new car or new house, they all did. if one seemed in danger of taking himself too seriously, the others knocked it out of him.”

one evening george stopped the car and said, “let’s get married. i'll speak to brian.” they went to brian’s house, george went inside, and when he came back in the car he said, “brian says it’s okay. will you marry me? we can get married in january.”

briannnnnnn, is it my turn to get married yet pleaseeeee

pattie invited her absent father to their wedding but he did not come.

at the train station everyone left cynthia behind as she was carrying the suitcases and john was carrying nothing. peter brown had to go back and get her. 

pattie’s quote from the lsd in the coffee moment is hilarious to me. “you've just had lsd. it was in the coffee.” john lennon: “how dare you fucking do this to us?”

pattie and george didn't go to brian’s funeral in liverpool but george sent one single sunflower.

pattie stopped modeling because george didnt like it. and she felt like she lost a part of herself.

maureen was afraid of flies.

during the India trip, mia farrow told john that maharishi was inappropriate with her and john wanted everyone leave after that.

after India george and pattie’s relationship changed.

(talking about george) “some days he would be all right, but on others he seemed withdrawn and depressed. this was new: he had never been depressed before, but there was nothing i could do. it wasn't about me, but i found that my moods started to mirror his...so bad indeed, that at times i felt almost suicidal. i don't think i was ever in any real danger of killing myself, but i got as far as working out how i would do it: i would put on a diaphanous ossie clark dress and jump off beachy head.”

george became more obvious about his cheating. it hurt pattie.

george was gaslighting her.

cilla black was staying at george and pattie’s house and was uncomfortably close to george so pattie left. six days latter george called to tell her the girl was gone and she could come home.

“..but my ego was too fragile and i couldn't see it as anything other than betrayal. i felt unloved and miserable.”

“jane asher came home unexpectedly from new york and found another woman in the house, an american girl - and did what i should probably have done with george...”

george would start to talk about his feelings about paul or john but would stop bc he never wanted to admit that he felt left out. 

“we had once been so close, so honest and open with each other. now a distance had developed between us..”

(about yoko contributing to the beatles break up) “the four had never allowed anyone into the recording studios with them, but yoko not only sat by john throughout every session, he consulted her about the music they were making, which upset paul.”

during the let it be sessions there was a time with george and paul got in a fist fight and george left.

the same day john told George he was leaving the beatles, george’s mom told him she was ill and in critical condition.

i love that she vibe checked george. “he was bringing home bad vibes.”

george continued cheating and they continued arguing.

“my diary is full of entries about my unhappiness and the disintegration of our relationship.”

john came to visit george and pattie’s new mansion and said that it was so dark he didn't know how they could live in it, and george recommended that he took of his sunglasses.

eric clapton being a piece of shit and saying “if you won't be with me pattie i will become addicted to heroin.”

pattie said the only thing she had left was cooking and george took that away.

the couple was suppose to go on holiday together but george cancelled last minute bc he didn't want to go with her. he ended up going to spain.

“when i challenged him, he denied it and tried once again to make me feel as though i was paranoid.”

i'm not even...the whole fucking story of the george and maureen affair PISSES ME OFF more than i can describe. maybe i’ll make a whole other post but omfg i'm fuming. fuck them bothhhh. they deserve no rights.

george harrison, mere days before their wedding anniversary: “let’s get a divorce this year.” what an amazing new years resolution jerk.

ringo offered pattie a job.

when george told ringo about the affair pattie was so mad she dyed her hair red. 

george loved pattie’s little brother and was his role model but he wouldn't come to the man’s wedding even though he was invited.

the night pattie told george she was leaving him george came to bed in sadness and said, “don't go.”

“i'm going.”

george invited pattie to dhani’s eighteenth birthday party bc she “had to be there. she was family.”

george had become more of an older brother to her now.

pattie had learned about john’s death from eric clapton and immediately went to the beatles office in london to hang out with everyone there.

(after finding out about george’s death) “i couldn't bare the thought of a world without george. when i left him for eric, he had said that if things didn't work out, ever, i could always come to him and he would look after me. it was such a selfless, loving, generous thing to say and it had always been tucked away at the back of my mind. now that sense of security had gone.”

the last time they saw each other was when george called saying he wanted to visit her new cottage and see her.

pattie didn't go to his funeral nor did she go to the memorial concert that took place a year later. but she spent that day high on the mountains thinking of george. “i was happy to mourn him alone and in my own way.”

she would have dreams of george after his death. “oh george, it’s so wonderful that you are alive after all, this is so fabulous; i knew they had all made a mistake.”

and then she’d wake up.

#long post #I'm sorry its so long #its a good book pls read it #I only talked about the George parts of the book but the whole book is good #the beatles #the #beatles #the beatles wives #pattie Boyd #pattie #boyd #george harrison #George #harrison #the beatles moments #the beatles long post #wonderful tonight #george harrison and pattie boyd #paul mccartney #paul #mccartney #ringo starr #ringo #starr #John lennon #John #lennon

[inspiteallthedanger]

I don’t know if this is true but I love this direct level of communication from GM. It’s really too bad none of the other Beatles were able to be that direct with John:

George Martin was infuriated by Lennon Remembers and recalled challenging Lennon on his comments in 1974: “He said, 'Oh Christ, I was stoned out of my fucking mind. You didn't take any notice of that, did you?' I said, 'Well, I did, and it hurt.'"

That quote’s from Doggett (YNGMYM) isn’t it? I can certainly believe GM would say how he felt if given the chance and he deserved to tell John off for that. Although I don’t know that it made him feel all that much better, it’s not exactly an apology is it?

That said, I think John was probably challenged all the time about this sort of thing. I highly doubt Paul or George never said anything about the shit John would say. Like, don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of people who let John do whatever and I’m sure they all let a lot of it wash over them to save a fight. But, we know the group argued and that at least J&G would hold their ground in their ways (I’ve seen less of this with Ringo, but I’m sure he did too). I think this because otherwise a) John wouldn’t respect them and b) you also you get things like the “It’s only me” story. Plus, no one would put up with that sort of thing for over a decade unless there was some level of give and take, especially not the egos in that band.

Obviously this didn’t mean that things were sorted. The difference is between saying something about a specific issue and putting in real boundaries that have consequences.

The issue is that it’s John, he will apologise and then do it again. I’ve certainly read accounts that he was actually more prone to wanting to make up with people (like Paul) than the others were. That’s obviously much easier when you’re living on top of each other, though. He’s very self aware but that didn’t stop him from repeating behaviours.

GB showed they did talk about their issues. Not even just in a “You said that one hurtful thing” way but in a “These are the broader issues that feed into that behaviour and how I personally feel about them”.

The problem was none of them knew how to actually solve the problems once they rooted them out. They were (to an extent) intractable problems that couldn’t have been resolved without a fundamental shifting of relationships. And who knows how that would shake out long term or if it’d even be better. They were growing up and wanted different things from one another, and maybe some of them couldn’t articulate what they wanted, but even had they it probably wouldn’t have saved the band.

Much is made of John ‘checking out’ of the Beatles. Why he did that is not for this post, but I think it’s telling that that’s what caused the shifts that led to the collapse of the band. It wasn’t that he became angry and hard to deal with, it’s that he stopped fighting at all. I think Paul especially relied on John’s control to get things done. Anyway, this isn’t related other than to say that John’s temper or propensity to say mean things were not the underlying issue between any of them. Although, there might be a case that he never really turned it on them full force until after the break up.

So, I’m sure they all got to say their mind to John (probably even about LR) and I’m sure John made some amends in his own way. Enough that they all wanted him around and never cut him off entirely. Perhaps what none of them got, including GM, was any real sense of how much warmth John felt towards them after the breakup. It’s one thing to say someone’s been a prick and another to say, “Do you still love me and what does that mean exactly?” They all knew John didn’t really mean half the shit he came out with on a good day, but they’d lost their ability to get the other side of him. I think in part because John was too scared to show it, for whatever reason (but that’s another post). 

Not sure if this answers what you were getting at, but hope it was interesting enough. Always up for hearing what others think, of course. It’s a nuanced conversation, so I’m sure I’m missing bits.

#beth rambles #like i get wanting them to all just give it to john with both barrels #and there's some suggestion that they did #but none of them seemed happy once they had #they wanted john's love back #and john knew withholding that was his biggest weapon #something learnt from both Mimi and Julia I should think #and that's what fucked with them #he could apologise #but if he's not letting you back in his little gang #or you're not willing to surrender enough to go back #then you're not fixing anything #it's different for non-Beatle people #i suspect GM would have been more happy with a simple apology #although didn't he continue to say he was hurt?

[pattie-remembers]

Were you and George ever caught having sex?

NSFW 

It was quite warm and very late or very early depending on how you look at it. Still it was dark and we did not get fans dropping in at two in the morning, plus we had taken to locking the gate at Kinfauns more often, so when George decided we should go swimming, I was agreeable.

Since no one was there, not even Terry, we didn’t bother with swim suits. We splashed and played around and floated and talked, but I was completely nude and that of course was getting George worked up. We had learned the hard way that shagging in the pool was not quite as sexy as it sounded, but beside the pool, under the stars was a gorgeous way to make love.

I remember climbing out of the pool, laughing at something George had said and lying down on a poolside lounge to catch my breath. Immediately he was on top of me, kissing me, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him, not just to hold him closer, but to tease him and wrestle a bit. This made him pull back and he grabbed my hands and held my arms up above my head while he kissed and nipped my neck, working his way down to my breasts, licking, kissing, and sucking until I was moaning and writhing under him. He had let go of my hands and my fingers were lost in his thick hair, damp curls crowning his head.  I admit I was urgently  pushing him downwards,  still too inhibited to tell him what I wanted but desperately hoping he’d get the message. I shouldn’t have worried because I knew what his next move would be and he didn’t disappoint. He pulled me down the lounge chair until my bottom was at the edge and he knelt on the pool deck. As he pushed my knees apart I thought I heard foot steps in the gravel, but I ignored them, caught up in the moment.

A minute later I looked towards the garage and there was John, leaning against the wall, watching. George was busy exciting me to the point that I was so turned on, I didn’t care knowing  that John was watching.

Had it been someone else I would have probably jumped up, but it was John and John had seen George and me in very intimate situations and I felt more excited than embarrassed. While I might have described myself as shy, in front of a camera, or in this case John Lennon’s eyes, I became bold, a bit of a show off. I knew John liked me and thought I was pretty, perhaps fancied me, and I couldn’t help but want him to see me, to impress him. I half closed my eyes. I wanted to watch John but I didn’t know if John wanted me to know he was there. I arched my back and began caressing myself, running my hands across my breasts, my finger tips lightly brushing my skin as I began to whimper. “Darling, that feels so good. Please don’t stop.” I lifted my hips and George’s mouth was magic while John’s stare sent me to the edge. The beginning waves of my climax were coming faster until I just exploded. “My God. George! Please!” The intensity was almost painful, and George, the most persistent of lovers, held me down and made me come again. I could not breathe. As I gasped, I saw John retreat farther into the shadows. George got me off the chair and on the deck and  on top of me, in me, pounding away until he collapsed, shattered by his own orgasm. “God, Pattie. Jesus.” I just held him as we both enjoyed the high of love and began to relax.

We were kissing, when John called out, “George!” It really wasn’t out of the ordinary for John to come round at any hour and he was one of the few who knew where the key to the gate was hidden, so George wasn’t surprised John had just turned up. George handed me a towel and I covered myself and got up to go inside. “Hi, John,” I said as I walked passed him, and as our eyes met a little electricity passed between us and I felt the vibe that he knew I’d seen him watching.

“Darling, that feels so good. Please don’t stop,” I heard John say in a high pitched voice, barely containing his laughter.

“I hope you got a good wank, you pervert,” George retorted and hit John on the arm. I heard them laughing. Teenagers once again, thinking girls were just for sex.

Still, it was a huge ego boost. Soon George and I were dressed, all three  of us sitting around the kitchen table, drinking tea. I wondered if I had just imagined it all. John caught me looking at him. “Oh, George! Please!” He breathed hard mocking me in my throws of passion.  I giggled and threw a spoon at him, missing him, and it clattered in the sink. I turned away before he could catch me blushing. Yes, it had happened and I was already wishing it might happen again. I loved bring admired.

Later in bed I asked George if he minded  John spying on us.  “He’s watched or heard us fucking a million times. I guess it’s too late to get angry.” He had his arms  around me and one hand slipped between my legs, making me want him again. “I think you liked John watching.”  He growled softly. “Admit it.”

I turned in his arms and rolled on top of him. “Please,” I said . And for the second time that night we made love. It was terribly intense. We had both liked what had happened.

#pattie boyd #pattie remembers #the beatles #john lennon #george harrison

[sweetlilpaulie]

Never Leave Me.

Request for time travel reader, telling the boys about the future.

Reader X John (it was never specified, but I wanted to do John, cause, well... it’s John)

Caution: Language

Enjoy, my cuties.

P.S. Not to get confused, she’s been with the boys for a few months now, so she knows them pretty well.

~~~

Dear Diary,

Sometimes, we like to dream about what life would be like had we done something different, or said something that we held inside. Maybe, even daydream of the possibilities that we know will never happen. I admit to have fantasized on many occasions, to have been born in a different state, with a bigger house and adoring people on my sides, maybe even in a different time.

Funny, I guess I never thought that I’d end up here. Those very daydreams coming to life. To be honest, I still have no idea how I got here, and if the boys ever found out well... I don’t know what I’d do...

“(y/n)!”

Startled, I turned around, quickly shutting my notebook and placing it under a pillow. 

“H-hey.”

Paul smirked.

“What cha been up to in this room for so long ay? Coulda had a whole orgy by now.”

Blushing furiously, I frowned at him. 

“I was...writing, you silly goose. What cha need?” 

Well, John’s been waitin for ya, he won’t say why, says it’s a surprise.”

I raised an eyebrow. 

“Really? Well, alright then.”

Paul and I walked down the stairs into the studio apartment’s tiny parlour. 

John was lounging lazily on the loveseat, his head drifting dangerously downward.

“Oh, Johnny!” chirped Paul loudly.

John’s head snapped up.

“Took ya long enough!”

He grinned, standing up.

My breath hitched. 

Every time, even now, his face always made me stare in wonder. And each time, I have to remember.

He’s alive. 

And he’s mine. 

“Like what you see?” he smirked at my awestruck face.

Not wanting to stroke his ego further, I crossed my arms and cheekily replied “No, but you do.” 

It was then, Paul cleared his throat. 

“Save that for the bedroom, ay? I’m still here, for Christ’s sake.”

“What are ye still doin’ here? Sod off Macca.”

Raising his hands defensively, he left the premises. 

Turning back to me, he smiled once again.

“Come ‘ed. ‘ve got somethin’ to show ya.”

“So I’ve heard.”

Grabbing my hand he pulled me out the backdoor and into the yard. 

I gasped in surprise.

White rose bushes were planted on every side, a tall elegant fountain sitting in the middle.

“You said you wanted a garden...so ‘ere ya are.”

There were cobblestones joined together to create a pathway towards the fountain. By the fountain, was a small table and two chairs, a bowl of strawberries, and a tea set were lying on top of the table.

“All...for me?”

“Yes love, all for ya.” he nuzzled my cheek.

This all keeps getting better and better.

“Well, let’s not keep the grub waitin, shall we?”

He guided me towards the table. Sitting down, he poured some tea in the cup along with a bit of cream and a spoonful of sugar. Stirring it all together, he passed me the cup and saucer. Taking a sip, I closed my eyes in delight.

“Earl Grey, you remembered.”

“How could I forget?” 

Opening my eyes, John had his on mine. My heart started beating faster once again.

“(y/n), the truth is...” he looked down, biting his lip slightly.

“...I-I think I’m in love with you.”

Before I could open my mouth, he quickly added “I know we’ve only known each other for a short time, but, I dunno, I think you might be the one I’ve been looking for...oh dear God, that sounds so cliché, doesn’t it? I’m really not that kind of guy, I don’t want you to think I’m that sort of guy, look...”

“John.” I raised my eyebrows, and he went quiet.

“I should probably tell you something...”

His brows furrowed in confusion, and then worry “Look, I’m sorry if that was a little forward, but...please, don’t think I’m gonna push ya in any way, if you don’t love me back I’d understand...”

“JOHN!” 

He shut up once again.

“Good God, Lennon! Calm down. The truth is I love you too.” his eyes widened and a grin spread on his face “Hold up mister, I’m not done yet.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What else is there you need to say?”

“Uhm...okay, y’know how I told you my parents were in Canada, and that they worked in a small town that nobody knows?”

“Yes?” his eyebrow raised further yet. 

“That’s...not...entirely true.” I bit my lip. His face only urged me to continue. “Uhm, they actually, aren’t here.”

Too vague. 

Before he could share his inner demons, I quickly added. “They’re not dead. They just uhm...well, they aren’t here...yet.”

“ m’afraid I don’t know what you mean love.” 

“Look, I’m gonna sound crazy, It’s absolutely wild, and you may think I’ve lost it, trust me, It’s hard for me too. Do you understand?”

He nodded mutely, still giving me a puzzled look.

“I’m not from here.”

He rolled his eyes at this “I know that much ya yank.”

“No, well yes...but, not from this...time.”

I took a deep breath.

“I wasn’t born in 1944. I was actually born in 2001.”

It was then he started laughing.

“Good one, (y/n). Still don’t really see the punchline though.”

I slapped my forehead. 

“I thought you might think this was a joke. But, I’m being serious.”

He light smile faded, and turned to a frown.

“Whaddya mean you’re from 2001? Hasn’t even ‘appned yet!”

“I know...I’m from the future.” 

He stared at me blankly for a long time. Then crossing his arms and giving me a skeptical look he finally spoke.

“Prove it then.”

After many months of hiding the technology, I finally pulled out my phone. I tapped on the screen several times to reveal my home screen. 

“Wha- the bloody ‘ell is that?” 

“It’s a phone, love. Look.” I tapped on my Spotify app.

“You boys have been working on a new album with all originals correct?”

“Y-yes, you know this.”

“But you are keeping it a secret, not even I’ve heard the music.” I smirked. “Or at least, you don’t think I have.”

I tapped once more on the screen revealing A Hard Day’s Night album. 

“We haven’t even...”

“Named it? Oh, I know. Check this out. Y’know the song the Macca brought to your house yesterday? And I love her?” I pointed to the screen, and viola it was there. I played the song. His eyes widened in shock.

“We haven’t even finished...”

“Yeah, next week George Martin is going to ask for an intro, and George Harrison is gonna come up with something that will make the song.” His mouth was gaping, he couldn’t believe his ears “Don’t believe me? You don’t have to take my word for it. You can ask him yourself, and you’ll know it’s true.” 

At this point, John knew she couldn’t be lying.

“How...?”

“I honestly have no fucking idea. But, here I am, with you, with the Beatles! And it’s a dream come true!”

“Wait...” He quickly interrupted “You said you were born in 2001. That’s...decades. Are we really that famous?” I could hear the anticipation and excitement in his voice. 

Biting my lip, I nodded. 

“Yeah, you’re gonna be a hit.”

He grinned. “I knew it.”

“Don’t get too cocky Lennon. You might just fall off your high horse.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?”

“Uhm...”

You’re gonna get assassinated. 

“No.”

He raised an eyebrow. 

“Really?”

“Well, you marry this crazy lady.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised. What’s ‘er name?”

“You don’t wanna know, trust me.”

“Alright then. What else?”

“You grow a beard a few times.”

“Really? I’ve always wondered what’d that’d be like.” he looked up thoughtfully. 

I giggled at his inquisitive look. 

But my joyful moment soon subsided. I finally remembered the truth of the future. 

A world without Lennon.

I should tell him. Of course! If I tell him, he’ll know not to step anywhere near that man! He needs to know!

“Erm...there is one more thing.”

He smiled at me “Yes, kitten?”

“You...” I couldn’t help but stare straight into his orbs once again. 

He’s alive. He’s breathing. He’s here with me.

I couldn’t help but smile at that.

“(y/n)? You still here? I know I look good, but maybe you could not get distracted one tiny second?”

I blushed again, and cleared my throat. “Well, this isin’t really something you wanna hear but...”

“But?”

“Uhm, well, you’re dead.”

He looked down at the ground in slight disappointment. “Of course. We all die eventually.”

“Yes, but with you...” before I could stop it, a tear slipped down my eye. “...you could have lived so much longer...had it not been..”

I choked. Tears continued to stream.

“Love, s’alright. I’m still here. Hey, look at me.” He laced his fingers with mine. 

“Y-you were assassinated! That bastard shot you four times! You did nothing wrong!!” I sobbed wildly, mascara streaking on my cheeks. 

He was appalled, but continued to comfort me.

“S’alright love, now that I know, I’ll make sure to not be where I was that day, yeah? You’ve saved me! I’ll be alright! Doll, please don’t cry.” He wiped away my tears with his handkerchief. 

I looked up at him with relief in my eyes. “You’re gonna be ok.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna be ok.”

He leaned in and kissed me.

In that moment I had finally realized. 

He was here.

He was alive.

And he loves me.

~~~

Lol, this ended up being more emotional than I thought it would be. I’ll admit to getting a little misty eyed as I wrote this up.

Again, thanks to my computer, which died on me...again... this story is finally out now. Hope you enjoy! 

L.M.

#Beatles #John Lennon #john lennon x reader #paul mccartney #George Harrison #Ringo Starr #time traveler

[anotherkindofmindpod]

this isn’t related to a specific episode but I’m confused about the beginning of John & Yoko’s relationship. I’ve heard so many different things about when/how it started- from she was stalking him to meeting at a gallery to Paul’s manuscripts (or pictures of Paul’s butt?!) to they were sleeping together two weeks after meeting- also varying dates on the 2 Virgins night (before or after NYC?) And was he really pining after her in India? Did he try to bring her? I trust you guys- what’s the deal?

Hello listener, thanks for the ask!

Regarding John & Yoko’s origins:  some stories are inconsistent, and some things are unknowable (i.e. internal emotions), but we’ll do our best to lay out what we do know.

Yoko approached Paul first, through a contact (probably Dunbar) related to Indica Bookshop and Gallery.  Since Paul was a patron, supporter and friend of Indica and was somewhat known within the art community as a rich celebrity with a growing interest in the avant-garde (music, films and art) he was an obvious choice for an artist seeking funding/exposure.  Yoko was an avant-garde artist (performance, gallery and film) whose biggest claim to fame at that point was working with John Cage.  This was the credential/name drop with which she approached Paul at his house in Cavendish sometime in late 1965.  Paul (being Paul) invited her inside to make her pitch: she was collecting manuscripts from various composers as a birthday gift to Cage.  Paul declined.  (For the record, Paul has never suggested or intimated that Yoko came onto him at that first meeting, so let’s assume she didn’t and this was strictly business)  The following year, in November of 1966, Indica hosted an exhibition of Yoko’s work.  This is where John Lennon first met Yoko, when he was introduced to her by Indica co-owner John Dunbar.

This was Yoko’s initiation into the Beatles’ world and it should ALWAYS be told like this, FULL STOP, END OF STORY.  Anyone in 2020 who tells the story any other way is a bald-faced liar and a coward.

Does this sound like an overreaction?  Is Paul’s part in this story really SUCH a big deal?  Let’s reverse things and imagine….

In 1965, John Lennon develops a keen interest in photography.  He immerses himself in the photography world, creates a dark room in his house and brings his photo influences into the Beatles’ artwork. John also finances and helps launch a photography gallery in Weybridge. 

One day, photographer Linda Eastman shows up at Kenwood to show John her portfolio and ask for one of John’s original photographs.  John declines.  Paul later meets Linda at her exhibition at Weybridge Gallery. 18 months  later, Paul starts dating her, calls her his new partner, declares her the greatest influence in his life, and brings her to every Beatles session.  Paul and Linda have a joint photography exhibit at the Weybridge Gallery in 1968, hosted by one of John’s closest friends and mentors.  

Paul then loudly and repeatedly proclaims that he was the only Beatle ever interested in photography, he’s responsible for all the visual art in the Beatles oeuvre and implies that John couldn’t stimulate him anymore because he was too square and conservative to understand or appreciate photography.  

Be honest and try to imagine that.  No one would EVER let Paul and Linda get away with that level of bullshit, but for some reason, Jean Jackets are slavishly obedient to whatever John and Yoko say, regardless of facts.  

So anyway, back to those facts...

After the meeting in November 1966, Yoko began to pursue John Lennon at his home, the studio and even Brian’s office.  She constantly asked for funding and money, but was probably seeking publicity as well.  There are rumors that she was also pursuing John sexually, but to our best knowledge they are unsubstantiated.  In 1967, Yoko was REALLY trying hard to get her career off the ground and/or get famous; there are numerous accounts from multiple people in the Beatles circle (Hunter Davies, Michael Lindsay Hogg, Robert Fraser, Barry Miles) that Yoko was hustling nonstop at that time.  So while Lennon was her main target, our impression is that she was probably just trying to make inroads with anyone who could help her become famous.  Accounts consistently suggest that John intermittently found her intriguing (when he didn’t find her scary or annoying), so I imagine she kept soliciting him because that’s where she made the most progress.  Anyway, her stalking is a matter of fact, corroborated by EVERYONE.  Also corroborated by everyone is the fact that John began to sometimes talk to her and occasionally let her inside (the same way the Beatles treated other Apple Scruffs), starting in/around late 1967.  

Tony Bramwell tells a very bizarre story about John being panicked one day in late ‘67, regretful and paranoid after giving Yoko a hand-written letter and a lock of his hair (?).  A frightened John asked Tony to retrieve the items from Yoko.  Considering the fact that John believed (until his death) that Yoko had magical powers, it sounds as if John asked her to make some sort of voodoo/love potion.  Perhaps their early friendship began as sorceress/client (but who knows? That’s just a guess).

We know that John continued to receive tons of mail from Yoko while he was on retreat in India.  According to John, he eventually began to really look forward to receiving these items.  Yoko would send bizarre, artsy stuff like a maxipad with a drop of red paint in the middle.  Who wouldn’t enjoy weird mail like that?  :)   According to John (in both 1970 AND 1980), he still only thought of Yoko as a weird artist by that point.  He insists he was NOT interested in her sexually or romantically, only intellectually, and there is nothing to suggest that he was lying about that.  More importantly, John was having some kind of emotional breakdown in India; he wrote and talked about feeling suicidal in Maharishi's camp.  John never specified the exact cause of his breakdown, although he did later pinpoint ongoing feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness.  

After returning from India, John was highly emotional, erratic, depressed, and abusing drugs and alcohol at an alarming rate.  Derek Taylor recounts John taking some acid trips at his house over two weekends.  During one of these weekends, John’s now-friend Yoko (who he still insists he wasn’t sexually interested in) showed up and helped “rebuild John’s ego.”  In other words, Yoko threw John a life raft and helped pull him out of the darkest, bleakest depression of his life.  

Then in May, after months of erratic behavior, John declared he was Jesus in an Apple board meeting (!).  The following night, with Cynthia away for the weekend, John invited Yoko over (or had Mal invite her) and the two of them dropped acid, made some tapes and had sex for the first time.   As far as we can tell, this information is accurate as it is corroborated by Pete Shotten (who was making the tapes with John before Yoko came over and replaced him!).  Pete said in the morning John came downstairs and shocked Pete by saying Yoko was the answer to all his problems and he was so certain he’d go off and live in a tent with her.  That sounds shocking until you realize John was on acid at the time (in that light, not quite as shocking).  :)  In any event, after that point John and Yoko became basically inseparable for the next 5 years.

There are rumors/theories that John and Yoko were already having sex for months, but so as far as we can tell these are based on nothing but speculation.  We believe John’s initial interest in Yoko was intellectual and personal rather than sexual, as he contends.  We think John slowly warmed to Yoko over that 18 month period; while initially he might’ve found her annoying, frightening and disturbing, eventually he began to find her quirky, intriguing and charming.  We believe their relationship was founded in friendship and that Yoko’s emotional support (and her professed admiration for him as an artist) during that acid trip at Derek’s was vitally important to their bond.

Now, here’s where things get murky. 

John was also later quoted as saying that in retrospect he realized he was unconsciously falling in love with her from afar whilst in India - which may or may not have been the case.  It is certainly common to look back with fondness on one’s own courtship and also possible to fall in love before you realize you are in love (John described experiencing something similar in 1964) so debating this is kinda pointless and we choose not to nitpick this particular point.  However, people have since used this to extrapolate that John was, as you put it, “pining for Yoko in India” which is simply not what John described.  John described gradually looking forward to her wacky mail and developing a strictly platonic curiosity about her.  If you are highly invested in the John & Yoko love story, it’s easy to spin this into secret “pining,” but when you consider that John was, as he put it, suicidal and going insane, it doesn’t quite make sense.  What makes even less sense is why John wouldn’t immediately ask Yoko out upon returning to London in early April, especially since she was aggressively pursuing him at that point.  Yoko was present for at least one of the Derek Taylor acid trips in May.  Why did John wait an entire month to initiate a private moment with her?  

John also said (in Lennon Remembers, I believe) that he privately considered “bringing” Yoko to India (though not as a love interest, but rather in her contemporaneous role as amusing curiosity, i.e. Magic Alex 2.0).  Once again, this may or may not be true, but we have no reason to doubt him.  Nevertheless, this has also been spun fannishly into “John was pining for Yoko as a girlfriend” which (again) isn’t what he said.  :)

To be perfectly candid,  John & Yoko’s public persona is almost entirely artificially crafted.  THIS is corroborated (and detailed) by nearly everyone close to them- May Pang, Ray Connolly, the Dakota staff, etc.  That doesn’t mean their love was fake, just that their relationship was much different from how they portrayed/sold it (or how fanboys like Lewisohn portray it).  At the end of the day, they are just celebrities who we don’t actually know.   We want things to make sense, which is why I think the “John was secretly pining for Yoko for years and his mind was obliterated by love” appeals to some people.  It’s a cleaner, more familiar boy-meets-girl story.  

Rumors and conspiracy theories are plentiful and can lead you down all kinds of rabbit holes (fun or infuriating, depending on your POV).  The “John & Yoko were secret lovers” one makes things a bit sleazier and sexier (I believe Albert Goldman really leaned into this one!).  But if you really want to consider everything, you should also consider this: Yoko’s Tarot card reader John Green insists that Yoko claims Paul was the one she wanted all along.

She told him:  Paul was her first choice (as boyfriend), which is why she approached him first.  She moved on to John only to make Paul jealous (!), which ultimately backfired when Paul then refused to make advances on John’s new girlfriend.  According to Yoko, Paul’s sense of propriety (?!) ironically prevented him from being with Yoko (even though Yoko KNEW Paul was always in love with her)!  So Yoko inadvertently got stuck with John, who she didn’t really want. Also she was convinced, in the late 70s that Paul was still in love with her and only married Linda because he was devastated he couldn’t have Yoko!

Green swears this is what Yoko told him (for the record, she also thought Mick Jagger was in love with her).  Do we believe Yoko said it, that she believed it? Who knows, maybe?!?  Green’s credibility is certainly questionable. But it’s no crazier than much of the nonsense in Goldman’s book (or Francie Schwartz’s), and Green is alleging to quote Yoko directly.  Parts of this account do ring oddly true; Yoko does seems interested in Paul in the contemporaneous audio/footage from the late 60s.  John did ask Paul not to sleep with Yoko (which Paul seemed a bit nonplussed by).  John and Yoko are bizarrely convinced in the early 70s that Paul and Linda’s marriage is doomed (is it because Yoko convinced John that Paul is actually in love with her???).  Many believe Yoko was jealous of John’s affection for Paul; could Yoko also be jealous of Paul’s affection and respect for John?  Maybe.  But this story blatantly contradicts the entire John & Yoko Myth and is so over the top weird... there’s just no room in our understanding for this alternate reality where Paul and Yoko are the true star-crossed lovers :)   

The point is that you can’t believe ALL the theories and rumors because they often directly contradict each other.  Sometimes you just have to use your own best judgment. We hope this was helpful and that we didn’t just confuse you further.  Thanks again for writing in! -Phoebe and the crew

[slutforgoodliterature]

Something Wicked - Part 2

Chapter Two - Dead Poets Society 

Warnings: angst, descriptions of extreme violence, swearing

A/N: thanks for all the love on part one! I had actually finished writing this second part last week but then I accidentally pressed Control-T and the whole thing deleted so... don’t press Control-T basically 🙃

Also, this is what I imagine Natalie to look like! I always like having a visual, ignore this picture if you don’t want her to look this way I guess ahaha (Rose Salazar for anyone who’s wondering)

The drive to the police precinct is super uncomfortable. Spencer’s leg is pressed against mine the whole way, and because I’m stuck in the middle there’s nothing I can do to avoid it. He seems like he’s trying to position himself as far from me as possible as well, but the freaking spider has too-long legs that barely fit in the back of this SUV.

When we arrive, Immediately  put as much space between him and I as possible and seek out Chief Willoughby.

“Hi, Natalie Hart, public liaison for the Behavioural Analysis Unit. This is my…” I sense Spencer hovering over my shoulder, “colleague, Special Agent Spencer Reid.” I hold out my hand for the chief of police to shake.

He ignores my hand and instead scans me head to toe, staying silent.

“We’re here to assist you with the recent string of home invasions and murders?” I raise a brow at him.

Willoughby huffs. “Well, I can tell you it wasn’t my choice to get you guys to come on down here, but my second in command seems to have a lot of faith in your mind-reading mumbo jumbo.”

I drop my hand. This will be fun.

“Actually, Chief Willoughby, the job of the BAU is not to do any mind reading. We instead study cues and behaviour and use these skills in situations such as these to give insight into the people who commit these crimes. From there, we create a profile that aids your people to narrow down a suspect pool-“

Spencer is cut off by an aggressive cough from Willoughby.

“Yes okay, okay. It’s good you’re here. I got one of the officers to clear out an office for you, just that door there.” He points and we start to head over. Before I shut the door behind us, I look back at him and give him my best glare.

“I can only help as much as you let me, Chief. We want to stop this just as much as you do.” He stares back at me, eyes narrowed. “Don’t let your ego get in the way.” He nods once and turns on his heel.

“What did you say to him?” Spencer asks as I enter the office. He’s already got a map tacked to the wall and is circling specific points, I’m assuming where the murders happened.

“Does it matter?” I sigh, already at my wits end from dealing with one asshole. I don’t need another one on my back.

“We need to be courteous to these people, Natalie. If they ask us to leave because you snapped at him, then-“ He begins to berate me but I whirl around and point a finger up at him, seeing as he’s at least a head taller than me.

“Thanks for the lecture, John Lennon. Funnily enough, as a public liaison, I know how to deal with people. He needed to know we would take it seriously, and men like him never respect women who don’t stand up for themselves.” His eyes widen as I almost yell at him.

Before he can respond, the ringing of a phone breaks us out of our glaring contest. He picks it up quickly and exchanges a few words with whoever is on the other end before finally saying “We’ll be there in 10.”

He avoids my eyes and slings his back over his shoulder. “There’s been another family discovered. Same killer, Hotch wants us there ASAP.”

I nod wordlessly.

The second we arrive, journalists and TV crews flock the car.

“I’ll deal with them, meet you inside in a minute.” I wave Spencer off.

“You sure you can-“ he starts but I cut him off.

“Stop doubting me for one second and get your ass inside before I become your next unsub.” I smile sweetly at him, but he must see the rage in my eyes because he hurries away.

As the press clamours for information, I stand stoically in front of the cameras and answer their questions in the limited way I can.

“Yes, the FBI is here to assist in the investigation into the current string of murders. Yes, we are doing all we can to apprehend whoever is behind this. No, I will not be discussing the details of the case.”

One question in particular catches me off guard.

“Can you comment on the rumour he’s leaving written messages at the crime scene?” I search the crowd for whoever said that, but whoever did has faded into the crowd.

“As I said, I will not be discussing the case. Nothing more to be said at this point in time.” I turn on my heels, ignoring the yelling behind me, and disappear into the house.

I find the others in the living room and I’m confronted by blood. So much blood. The bodies of the family are strewn across the floor. I balk and cover my mouth in a fist, knowing I’d let out and embarrassing sound. I turn to face the doorway, avoiding the gore.

On the wall across from me are bright red words that send a chill down my spine.

Written in blood reads: I will drain him dry as hay

“You handled the press well. Hotch was impressed.” Rossi sneaks up behind me and I jump slightly at the sudden voice.

“Just doing my job.” I mutter. He pats me on the shoulder knowingly and turns back to the group.

I tune out their conversation as they discuss the bodies before them. I don’t need those images in my head. The bodies haphazardly covered by sheets is enough for me.

“The quote is another one from Shakespeare. Same play as the last one.” Spencer states, studying the wall.

“Yeah, Macbeth. Like Natalie said.” Emily smiled at me warmly. Spencer swallows thickly and shoots me a short, cold look.

“Exactly. Both quotes are actually from the three witches, who basically curse Macbeth for becoming so power hungry. In fact, Macbeth himself is the ‘something wicked’ that the first quote references.” He continues.

“So the unsub is attacking people he thinks are power hungry and successful?” Derek asks the room.

“I think that’s highly likely. So far, all the victims have been relatively wealthy families.” Hotch says without emotion.

“But if the unsub is targeting the man of the house, how come they’re the only ones that aren’t beaten.” Emily says. “They seem to get the most merciful death. The mothers, on the other hand…” everyone turns to look at the brutalised woman on the ground.

“In the play, Lady Macbeth is actually seen as the one controlling Macbeth and pushing him to be so ruthless.” I add quietly. Every head swivels to me.

“That’s a good point Natalie.” Hotch nods thoughtfully. Spencer even looks impressed with my observation. “The unsub might be targeting the women he believes are pushing their husbands to be successful.”

“Maybe a wife of his own left him because he didn’t achieve her standards? That could be the motive.” Derek says.

“And a stressor.” Emily sighs.

“So what, we just search up every guy in Memphis who’s recently been through a divorce?” Rossi scoffs. “That’ll take days. We need to narrow it down more.”

“Shakespeare seems to have a significant meaning to this unsub. I suggest we take that into account.” Spencer offers and I find myself nodding in agreement.

Derek pulls out a phone and dials quickly.

“You’ve reached the goddess of all things tech. How can I help you?” Garcia’s voice crackles through the speaker.

“Babygirl, we need a list of all antique book dealers and shops that sell old books. Pay special attention to those that deal a lot with Shakespeare.” Derek instructs. The sound of rapid typing then a beep follows.

“Ok, I’ve got around 78 bookstores and dealers that match that description. Anyway I can narrow that down for you?”

“Look at the men who have recently gone through divorce or have fallen on financial problems recently.” Rossi says into the phone.

More typing, then: “Ok, I’ve got three. A Joel Macpherson who runs an antique bookshop, Carl Thompson who specialises in  selling first-edition Shakespeare and to complete this triad of potential mass murders is Leopold van der Fell. His shop is on the other side of town and he runs a book club that exclusively reads Shakespeare."

“Send us the addresses please, baby girl.” Derek says and Garcia scoffs.

“Oh, yee have little faith. They’re already on your phones.” On more thank you and Hotch scans us.

“Rossi, you and Derek speak to Joel Macpherson. Reid, take Natalie and see Leopold. Emily and I will visit Carl Thompson.” Without a second word, everyone begins filing out of the room and into their respective cars.

Spencer looks at me and sighs. “Let’s get this over with.”

I roll my eyes and make my way to the car, hopping into the drivers seat.

“You sure you’re okay to drive?” Spencer asks as he gets in the passenger side.

“My god! Can I not do anything without you questioning me?” I cry, turning in my seat to face him. He stares at his hands.

“I meant that seeing that inside probably shook you up. I don’t want you driving if your head is elsewhere.”

I’m taken aback by his thoughtfulness. I swallow loudly and put the car in park, backing out of the driveway.

“I could use the distraction.” I answer after a stretch of silence.

I see him nod out of the corner of my eyes. “Okay, I get it.”

I allow myself to relax in my seat. “Thanks.” I mutter.

“But if you crash because you’re distracted, don’t say I didn’t want you.” He adds.

“There’s the asshole I know and love.” I turn the radio on and drown out his response. “Now, shut up and give me directions.”

[reflectismo]

INT: The bickering doesn’t matter at the end of the day, does it?

P: No. You know I remember having an argument with a member of my family, one of my kids once, in front of someone. And it was a bit, “Oh my God, what’s going on here?” It was embarrassing but we both had a fairly strong point of view about something. And I was brought down by it – we both were. A friend of mine said, “Y’know what Paul, it proves you’re a family.” It proves you’re a real family. And that’s the truth about The Beatles. You have to look at it like that. We each had very strong opinions. If you look at us individually, I mean c’mon – give it up. John Lennon. Paul McCartney. George Harrison, Ringo Starr. You look at us all individually – that’s a bunch of talent in a room. And a bunch of egos. So they’re not just gonna get on like apple pie. There is going to be the odd argument – and there were. Sometimes they were minor about, y’know, turning up guitars (laughs). George and John were very cute because they both had their amps side by side and you’d see one of them just sort of sneak over to the amplifiers, just add one degree and then you’d see him walk back like nothing had happened. And then you’d see John had noticed and John would casually walk over and put his up two degrees. (Laughs) “You’ve fucking turned up man!” “What? I never did!” “Yeah you fucking did!”

— Paul McCartney interviewed by MOJO Magazine (2011). Full interview released in April 2022 edition of MOJO.

#Paul McCartney #George Harrison #John Lennon #The Beatles #(I swear these guys acted like kids half of the time lol) #Mojo Magazine #(“George and John were very cute”) #(Wise words from Mr. McCartney)

[amoralto]

In your recent post from Gloria Steinem’s “Beatle with a future,” do you know the “she” that Derek Taylor is referring to? Or is that supposed to be apple or the Beatles themselves or something? Who Paul didn’t officially say goodbye to? It seems revealing how John would say “nothing’s going to change Paul.” There’s so much there. Oh and one last thing, who was Ringo saying “always worrying about people” ? Idk why but it’s hard for me to tell who was talking to who here.

Re: the “friend from Philly” Derek Taylor refers to, it’s not specified. Somebody better-versed in fan/groupie/Beatlemania-era dalliance stories may be able to connect the dots, but as far as Steinem describes it she was merely one of a few girls who’d met the band while they were in Philadelphia (September 2nd) and had now followed the band to their engagement in New York (September 20th) holding a charity concert for the United Cerebral Palsy Fund at the Paramount, their last gig on the US tour before returning to England to record Beatles For Sale. Here’s all the appearances she and the other girls from Philadelphia make in Steinem’s article:

It was time for The Beatles’ performance. Everyone crowded into the hall, looking expectantly at the room in which The Beatles had been “incommunicado” and “resting,” the same room into which I had seen Ed Sullivan disappear. Paul McCartney came out first, looking soft-faced and vulnerable as a choirboy. George Harrison and Ringo Starr followed animated and laughing. John Lennon moved quickly behind them, but his face was stoic and aloof behind his dark glasses (the face that inspired a London journalist to write, “It has the fear-neither-God-nor-man quality of a Renaissance painter’s aristocrat”). Behind Lennon came three chic young girls, two brunettes and a blonde, in their late teens or early twenties. McCartney jerked his head toward them as he got in the elevator and told some of his staff members to “look after the birds now, won’t ya.”

[...]

The Beatles’ entourage crowded together in the wings, and I talked to the birds. Were they working for The Beatles or interviewing them? No, they were just friends. “We met The Beatles at a press conference in Philadelphia,” said the pretty blonde, “that’s where we’re from.” Two of them wore wool suits with short culotte skirts. They all looked as if they had stepped from the pages of a teenage fashion magazine, and one carried a met them,” corrected the friendly blonde, “and this time we brought along a friend.”

The girls were simply left to sit in an adjoining room apart from Steinem, John, and Ringo, with both Paul and George in their own rooms presumably sleeping: 

The Beatles were leaving for London early the next morning. That, plus the fact that several Manhattan hotels had turned them down, brought them to the Riviera Motor Inn at Kennedy Airport. The rooms were small, barely big enough for a bureau, twin beds and a television set but they had commandeered a whole floor and there were policemen guarding the halls. Our room was jammed with carts of Scotch and Coca-Cola, trays of sandwiches and two photographers, the young ladies from Philadelphia, a tall girl who had followed The Beatles from San Francisco, several journalists who had been on the Beatle tour, a pretty airline stewardess in a very lowcut dress who was acting as hostess, and, occasionally, Neil Aspinall and Derek Taylor. Two of The Beatles were in other rooms, but Ringo Starr and Lennon were in the one adjoining us with the door locked. It was opened only to admit Aspinall, Taylor, one or two other selected young men and liquor.

And at the end of the article: 

I thanked Lennon, who looked worried, and said, “I hope you’re as true as you seem.” I said goodbye to the three birds who still sat in the adjoining room. Two were stretched out on the bed and a third was applying eye shadow. (“Women,” Lennon had once told a reporter, “should be obscene and not heard.”) They smiled their Mona Lisa smiles.

The “charity” concert itself was a point of consternation for the band (think Embassy-level feelings of exploitation, with the audience made up entirely of high society folk who could afford the exorbitant ticket prices and John saying they were treated “like animals”), and yet another thing in a cumulation of things they’d incurred over the past several months that had the band feeling exhausted and frustrated and even disillusioned with the unrelenting scrutiny and tabloid headlines and general mania surrounding them. Which may be why there’s a sense of distrust and weariness from John and Ringo that comes through in the article. 

Add to that Derek Taylor ultimately resigning from his position as Brian Epstein’s assistant (a position he’d only held for about a year) from the stress and that triggering argument with Brian he’s confiding with Neil Aspinall and John about (which Brian would try to backtrack on, asking him to stay, to no avail), and just the random and curious fact that Bob Dylan and Albert Grossman were there in the room as well (which Steinem only gives a passing mention to; sleepless!John and Bob would later have breakfast together), it would seem Gloria Steinem had (albeit entirely unwittingly) caught the Beatles at a very intriguing point in time. 

(I could go on more about Derek Taylor and how his emotional sensitivity/ego and issues with Brian Epstein (his management, his overprotectiveness of the boys leading to possible misattribution of blame, etc.) seems to prefigure his later issues with Paul and later serve as a bonding agent for him and John in mid-late-1968 (although John would still eventually cry betrayal, in typical gang leader fashion, when John interpreted Derek wanting to keep the Beatles together as “siding” with Paul against John), but I have another earlier ask I have to yet to reply to where that would be more pertinent for me to discuss it.)

Re: “nothing’s going to change Paul”, there’s definitely a lot to deconstruct and pick apart there, even if to the uneducated observer (Steinem) it comes across as just another “desultory” aside to pacify Derek, just as he tries to pacify Derek with the Brian issue (“He’s all right, but he doesn’t understand people having a few laughs, not even me laughs with me wife.”). Insert essay here. 

Re: Ringo, I read it as him making a rueful comment on the situation in general, and therefore referring to both Derek and John. I could be wrong, though! The mileage varies. 

I checked through @amoralto to see if I had posted/transcribed any interviews and such from around this time, and it turns out I have! Larry Kane’s with John and Ringo from Philadelphia (as it happens), with Ringo’s matter-of-factness with the tabloid trap they’re in (“I’ll have it on tape, I’ve been called a queer”) and John and Ringo talking about being the band being alone together (“One gets reliant on the others”). 

Also, I’d be willing to post the entire Steinem article if anybody’s interested! Like I said, it’s an intriguing glimpse into the trauma of living through Beatlemania, something which still gets underplayed in the Beatles historiography - and also something I wish Ron Howard’s film could have focused on, instead of just shallow anecdotes by famous fans who went to see them in concert - and a worthwhile read, even if Steinem sometimes comes across as naive and even judgmental. She also unfortunately skews towards (if not wholly believes in) the popular, nigh-deleterious stereotypes of the Beatles (i.e. John as the Most Talented and Most Intelligent and Most Versatile - indeed, she sought out the Beatles specifically to talk to John in the first place) typical of many features/articles from the time (and which still unfortunately continues to this day). 

#ask #1964 #gloria steinem #derek taylor #the beatles

[a-queen-of-the-clouds]

ultimate beatlemaniac tag game

Thank you for tagging me on this, gorgeous @femininehygieneproducts !! It was really fun to answer💕✌🏾

How long have you been a fan?:

Actually for a long time now. I started listening to them when I was 13 but became a real fan at 14. I have told this story before but basically I wanted to have more “musical background” and I tried to listen to classic rock, but I just ended up loving The Beatles and not listen to anything else, lol. 

Favorite Beatle:

Idk if this is obvious since I spend a lot of my time defending Paul (as he deserves), but John is actually my favorite❤️ He has been since forever. I love that blind bisexual so much I could cry. 

Favorite era for music:

Rubber Soul and Revolver. I think it captures the commercial and fun side of the first years with the maturity and evolution of the late ones. The best of both worlds, babe

Favorite era for lewks:

1965 because HAIR (!!!!) 😍🤤

Favorite song:

In My Life🥺😍😭🌈

Favorite album:

Rubber Soul forever and always ✌🏾 Although I can cheat on her with Help! 

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion:

I don’t like Yoko. Plus, I really don’t care about disc 2 of The White Album. I would DIE for disc 1 but as soon it ends I skip it right away, (sorry please don’t kill me) 

A song everyone loves but you dislike:

Idk if everyone loves it, but I have seen a lot of people praising Tomorrow Never Knows and I just… don’t get it (? Maybe I’m 2 dumb and musically ignorant but i just don’t understand the love, sorry 

A song everyone dislikes but you love:

I know Maxwell’s Silver Hammer doesn’t count since we now know it’s a bop but let’s say that one cause I can’t think of any another and because Paul deserves the love. 

Your fantasy involving The Beatles:

I just wanna see them interact 🥺 I would give everything I have just to see them recording, during lunch break or just hanging out in John’s pool, lol. I don’t even wanna be in the conversation, just listen to them talk and to see how they really were in a safe and private space. My dream. 

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan:

When I could FINALLY tell each one of them apart, lol 

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck!’ phase before becoming a fan?:

Not really, but I have a “Paul McCartney is not as cool as John Lennon” phase which honestly (?? WTF, so gross of me🤢🤮

Favorite Beatles book:

This is the moment when you all realize I’m an ignorant bitch that doesn’t read beatles books, hehe😁

Thoughts on the old generation of fans:

I think grandmas and grandpas are cool since most of them are here just for the music, and also have the most endearing takes on the boys (who doesn’t love a granny talking about how Paul was the love of her life? lol) but those 50-40 year old men that act entitled and are just boomers… Gross. 

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include?:

The fun parts!!!! Please, I’m tired of dramatic biopics only talking about John’s awful childhood or their breakup. I want a fake documentary comedy where I can see them just being stupid, witty and funny. 

And if you MUST make a dramatic movie then I want the writers behind Netflix’s The Crown ‘cause 👌🏾👌🏾💯💯

Also, just give George and Ringo a personality, please. 

Do you read/write fanfic?:

I used to do it a lot when I was a teenager, like A LOT. Now I don’t really have time to read anything): I once wrote a very long fic about John and a random girl that was just a projection of myself lol, it was so bad please don’t talk to me about it.

Right now I’m writing a novel inspired by The Beatles so I guess you can count that as a fic. 

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?:

Yep. 

Are you a shipper?:

Not really, since I’m 1000% something went on between John and Paul, and I don’t ship anyone else. (ok I might lowkey ship John and Linda in a platonic bffs way but don’t make me start on THAT) 

Favorite movie starring/made by them?:

Help! It’s my comfort movie, I love everything about it. 

Do you believe in McLennon?:

Do you believe in gravity? 

General opinions on McLennon?:

I’m 100% sure something went on there, like I’ve said before. I don’t think it necessarily was sexual or romantic, but I truly believe they were more than friends in a way that maybe not even they could understand. Also, there’s a HUGE part of The Beatles break up we don’t know about and I have no doubt it has to do with the two of them. 

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would it be and why?:

Just how things ended, really. It’s so sad and tragic that such a real and beautiful friendship ended up like that, and just because of male ego and lack of communication skill. It sucks. 

What song has the best vocals?:

Oh Darling! Honestly, Paul wtf?? 

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?:

It’s Only Love. Don’t get me wrong, It’s on my top 10 but It’s just so short and it ends up so fast that I have this feeling that John wrote it in ten minutes, went to the studio and finished it in one take. 

What is a well talked about moment in Beatles history you genuinely believe to be false?:

It’s not false, but I do think the whole Brian and John affair is often blown out of proportion. Like, yeah obviously Brian had a crush on him but people make it seem like he was a lost puppy that walked behind John just drooling. And idk but that doesn’t sit well with me. As I’ve said before, everybody had a crush on John but people make him and Brian a thing just because Eppy was gay. 

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history?:

That John loved that stupid band and was very engaged with it until 1968. 

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s):

MUSTACHES (!!!!) 

Favorite look from a Beatle(s):

How they look during 1965 because, again, HAIR!!! 😍🤤

This was SO much fun!! Thank you for creating it, girl @femininehygieneproducts ❤️❤️❤️ Also, I tag everyone who wants to do it, lol 

#I love answer questions about the beatles #my ask box is open if you want to keep talking about any of this #❤️ #the beatles #the beatles tag game #tagged in #femininehygieneproducts

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through IX

Chapter: 9/16

Rating: U

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

"I'll leave you out here to have your little tantrum, alright? I'll be inside when you've calmed down." John spat, quickly storming back into the club without giving a second glance to his friend.

What was his problem? Tonight was supposed to be fun. John always seemed to encounter that problem: whenever he was trying to have a good time, which was almost all of the time, someone had to go and ruin it by getting upset over something or making everything all serious for no real reason. He was sick of it, even if Ringo was his best friend he wasn't going to put up with tonight being derailed.

Ringo's words had stung him deeply, as much as he wasn't willing to admit it, even to himself. John had heard time and time again that he wasn't sympathetic enough, but he didn't view himself that way; more often than not people didn't even tell him what their problems were then would suddenly explode out of nowhere and blame him for not noticing the fuse being lit. Ringo rarely did, this was one of the few occasions he let his emotions get the better of him and John didn't have the patience, not tonight.

There was only one person left who'd give him the time of day right now, and that was Paul. John shoved his way through the crowds more aggressively than he needed to, but it at least felt good to exert the anger somehow, and asked the first dancer he saw if they'd seen Paul. His name was Stuart, he'd been working at the club the longest therefore he knew John the longest; when he'd first started coming here Stuart had been his favourite, but that all changed when Paul came along. It had gotten past the point of John even needing to ask where Paul was, if any of the workers saw him approaching they immediately knew what question was going to fall from of his lips. That didn't stop John from asking though, just because it was a strip club didn't mean he'd forget his manners. Stuart had given an unsure answer, John always thought he was a little bothered about being replaced by Paul but that might have been his ego talking.

John continued his search, trying to ignore how sticky the carpet was as he tried to move around - whose idea was it to put a carpet in a strip club? It didn't take long to find Paul, he usually always had a crowd of a few people around him and tonight was no exception. As soon as Paul noticed John he politely ended whatever conversation he was having and headed over to him, as he always did. The spat with Ringo had made John forget the reason they were even here tonight, or at least why he was here: to see Paul like this. He looked absolutely breathtaking, if John didn't know any better he would've thought Paul was biologically female. Makeup sculpted his already feminine face, his long eyelashes even longer and darker, his plump lips even plumper. He was wearing the highest heels John had seen so far, a black platform boot which went all the way to his thigh. Over his body was a dusty pink chiffon robe, loosely flowing over his bare arms, which he hadn't shaved much to John's approval. This sight was exactly what he'd been waiting for, and now that he'd seen it all the frustration about what had just happened seemed to melt away.

"You alright, love?" Paul asked, he stepped away from the group he'd been talking to and brushed John's elbow to turn his body to face away from them "Fancy some privacy?"

John let out a weak laugh "I don't have any money." He admitted "I was kinda hoping Ringo was gonna bail me out."

Paul chuckled and John couldn't help watching his coloured lips curl "Is that why you brought him here, so he could pay for your dances?"

"Well it wasn't not the reason." John felt himself easing up already, Paul's hand was still brushing against his arm.

"I can take my break and we can sit in the back, if you want to." Paul quietened his voice a little.

"Sounds like a plan." John never wanted to seem too enthusiastic when Paul suggested this, but he didn't think he did a great job of hiding it.

Paul nodded and started walking around the edge of the stage until he came to a door marked only for staff, he had to punch in a combination on the wall before the door unlocked. This was far from the first time that John had sat with Paul in the back room, in fact he struggled to even remember the first time it'd happened.

As much as John had wanted Ringo to believe he'd only been coming to the club recently, it was a gargantuan lie. John had been coming here for years and the majority of that time had been spent with Paul. The first time they 'met' unfolded with Paul approaching John who had been sulking in a booth surrounded by empty beer bottles. Paul had later explained that he went over to him because he had looked eccentric, with his multicoloured striped trousers and brown fur coat - not to forget the pin.

"Eccentric means one of two things: money or trouble." Paul had explained much later "I don't need to say which one I got from you."

John had been immediately taken with Paul, though he'd never tell that to anyone, with his doe eyes and honeyed voice. When it had gotten to the point that John couldn't afford any dances, Paul had offered a couple for free; the exact wording had been that it'd be put onto John's tab, but so much time had passed since then and no such tab had been paid off. Eventually though, Paul made it clear that this imaginary tab wasn't limitless and that he couldn't make a living off of charity. John had been determined to find a way around it but money hadn't been easy to come by for him at the time, no publisher was interested in his poems and he had no clue what to write his next book about. Paul had caught wind of this, namely because John had gotten drunk and complained about the abysmal condition of his life, and thus a strange new transaction began. Paul loved poetry, and there was no joy greater than discovering a work that nobody else had read before and through John he was able to experience this joy over and over again.

When Paul had suggested to John that he could pay him in poetry, he burst into a fit of laughter that didn't subside for several minutes at least. Once he realised Paul was being serious, the most productive writing period of his life began. The two of them never discussed the poems themselves, it all transpired like an illegal art deal as John would hand over the shabby piece of paper and Paul would accept it with a smile, slipping it into his pocket - or wherever he could fit it - then would lead John away to a private space. Unfortunately, the love Paul had for John's poems wasn't going to pay the bills either and even this had to come to a halt. Yet all was not lost, for Paul had discovered very quickly that when John was craving to see him, he wasn't really desperate for a lapdance, rather he just wanted some intimacy with someone, someone who couldn't express any judgement. This realisation led Paul to inviting John into the staff room, it wasn't completely unheard of for dancers to do this but it was mostly reserved for friends rather than customers, where the two of them would sit and chat over a drink or two.

It was policy to keep a bottle of alcohol in the staff room at all times, just in case of emergencies. But as the manager wouldn't allow anything to be taken from the bar, it meant an array of cheap and often obscure liqours being brought into the room.

"What have we got tonight?" John asked as they took seats by the mirror - luckily Paul was always here to distract John's gaze so he could avoid looking at himself.

Paul stuck his head under the countertop and returned clutching a bottle "Amaretto, it looks like." He read.

"That's barely alcohol." John scoffed as Paul set up two glasses in front of them "Well, at least I can drink it straight."

"Think we need to make a rule that if it's not at least 30% it shouldn't be under the counter." Paul suggested as he poured a healthy amount for the both of them.

John was already drunk enough, but he was never one to turn down free alcohol. They cheersed one another and drank a fair bit before slamming the glasses back down. There was nobody else in the room, as was often the case on a busy night like tonight. Before John had laid eyes on it, he'd expected the changing room to be some kind of kinky sex dungeon with whips and chains on the wall, so naturally he'd been very disappointed to see it was like any other changing room, except with a lot more glitter and a better smell.

"So, do you wanna talk about it?" Paul asked, looking at John through the reflection of the mirror.

Their chats almost always started this way, John had noticed that very early on. Whatever answer he gave, Paul would always respect it. He never understood why Paul just let him ramble on about his problems, or expect Paul to ramble on to distract him from said problems. In the end he supposed it was cheaper than therapy, he could only suppose since he'd never actually been.

"I'd love to, but I can't really. Ringo would kill me." John explained with a sullen look.

"I understand." Paul smiled softly "Whatever's happened I'm sure it'll be fine, you've been friends forever after all."

"For sure." John mumbled, and that was Paul's cue to begin the distractions.

"Tonight's been a right ballache, no pun intended." Paul began inspecting himself in the mirror "When I suggested it, everyone was all for it and now it's all 'Paul, my feet hurt' or 'Paul, this bra makes me look fat'."

"I think it was a great idea." John took another swig of his drink, his eyes were focused on Paul's reflection.

"Oh yeah? And how would you rate the illusion out of ten?" Paul smirked.

"Ten." John answered bluntly "If I was straight, I'd be having a right crisis after seeing you."

"It's a good thing you're not then." Paul rummaged around in a bag that was on the counter, eventually pulling out some mascara and touching up his makeup "I've just had the best idea."

"You'll never charge me for a dance again?" John suggested with a grin.

"You wish, love." Paul winked "No, what I actually had in mind was trying some of this makeup on your lovely face."

John paused "And why would you wanna do that?"

"It'll be fun! Don't you want to see what you'll look like properly done up? I bet you'd make a pretty girl." Paul urged, he was already laying out his makeup out.

"I've worn makeup before, Paul." John stated somewhat defensively.

"Eyeliner and tinted lipbalm doesn't count." Paul retorted, gesturing with the tube of mascara.

John sighed in resignation, scooting his chair a little closer to Paul's, who beamed in excitement. It was moments like this that made John want to question exactly what this dynamic was, he wanted to avoid the word relationship at all costs. On the one hand they saw one another every week or so, always dropped whatever they were doing to speak to the other and had spent hours of time doing nothing in particular besides chatting and laughing. Yet they'd never exchanged numbers, they didn't even know each other's last names and neither of them had explicitly expressed that they enjoyed spending time with one another. Sometimes John thought Paul did it merely to keep him as a loyal customer, and once he realised he wasn't going to be getting any money from him in the future he'd drop him in an instant. But here Paul was spending his only break trying to cheer John up, he didn't even need John to tell him that something was wrong, he just knew. Perhaps John had gotten so angry with Ringo because he'd been able to admit what John had never been able to. Perhaps.

The two of them continued talking and joking with one another as Paul delicately painted John's face. He'd almost finished John's second eye when his phone suddenly vibrated. John didn't need to check it to know it was Ringo, most likely apologising, and so he paid no notice to it. All of this would've blown over by the morning, he saw no point in dealing with it now.

"Aaaand done." Paul announced proudly, he leaned back in his chair to get a better look at his work and his smile only grew.

"This better not inflate my ego any further, I've already got enough issues because of that." John prefaced before he turned to look at himself in the mirror.

The sight absolutely stunned him. Naturally he had to move a little closer to the mirror so that he could get a proper look, a strip club was the last place he'd ever wear his glasses. Most interesting was how Paul had almost painted his own face onto John's, it was like looking at some strange feminine hybrid of the two of them. What John loved most was the eyes, how smoky and alluring Paul had made them.

"After all these years of people telling me to go fuck myself, I can safely say that I would." John turned his face from side to side to get a full view.

"You look gorgeous, John. But that's nothing new." Paul's eyes were filled with joy as he watched John's reaction.

"You're proper good at this, maybe when you get too old for stripping you could be a make up artist." John suggested jokingly which earned him a glare from Paul.

"The day I get too old for stripping is the day you earn a steady wage." Paul quipped back, the two of them began laughing before the door suddenly opened dramatically.

Behind the door was Stuart looking fairly alarmed, it was no surprise that he knew to find the two of them back here. He didn't even question why John was currently covered in makeup, it wasn't the strangest thing he'd caught them doing.

"Bloody fight's just broken out." Stuart explained as he walked into the room, Paul immediately rose up from his seat.

"What happened?" Paul asked desperately.

"I dunno. Two lads just started going at it, think Spike might've been involved." Stuart explained "They've both been kicked out now, it's all fine. Just thought you'd like to know."

"Nothing worse than missing a good fight." John added, he thought that Stuart had been speaking more to him than to Paul.

Just as Stuart opened his mouth to speak, the door opened again, and Spike walked in. He paused when confronted with the sight of everyone looking at him, as though they'd been expecting for him to show up.

"If you stare any longer I'll have to charge." Spike made his way over to his locker and began to change, he didn't seem phased by John being able to see him.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Paul walked over to him, inspecting his face and arms for any damage.

"I'm fine. Some prick just got a little too big for his boots and someone stepped in to help." Spike turned to look at John "It was your friend, actually."

"Not very bloody likely." John gaped "Are you sure?"

"Short guy with a beard. Wears a lot of rings." Spike detailed "That's him isn't it?"

"Shit." John sat back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh "Didn't think he'd go that mental."

"Someone's gonna have to cover my last dance cause I'm not going out there again tonight." Spike ignored John's words and focused on Paul and Stuart "I'm sick of these creeps, I tell you."

"I'll cover for you." Stuart responded almost immediately "Are you gonna be alright?"

"I can get you an Uber home." Paul chimed in, looking around for his phone.

"No, no, it's fine." Spike paused and took in a deep breath "I just need to get out of here."

He'd changed out of his previous outfit, it couldn't really be described as clothing, then headed back over to the door. With a quiet muttering of goodbye, he was gone. Stuart soon followed after him, he didn't tend to stick around too long when Paul and John were on their own. Paul sighed as he sunk back down in his seat, any time anything like this happened it always took a toll on him; it just brought up memories of all the times something similar had happened to him. Now wasn't the time to dwell, not when he was meant to be making John feel better, who was currently gazing off into space.

"Are you gonna go looking for him?" Paul asked, more of a suggestion than a mere question.

"Nah." John sighed, picking up his recently refilled glass "Sounds like he's in a right state, I'd probably only make him worse."

"You should text him at least, it'll make him feel better." Paul pressed his hand onto John's knee.

John paused "You're right." He breathed then pulled his phone from out of his pocket.

Ringo responded almost immediately which was a good sign, it meant he wasn't completely pissed off with John. As much as he knew Ringo wasn't going to take him up on his offer to head home with him if he'd been refused entry, he offered it all the same. All this was very much rehearsed, up until the next message Ringo sent. He was going out for drinks? With who? Wait.

"No fucking way." John almost gasped which alarmed Paul.

"What? What?" Paul leaned forward to try and get a view of the phone.

"He's going for drinks with Spike." A huge smile spread across John's face "Ringo, you bastard."

Paul didn't respond immediately, he took a moment to process exactly what John had revealed with those words and how in retrospect everything then made sense. Instead he picked up the rapidly emptying bottle and topped up their glasses.

"Good thing we've got our own drinks here." Paul said somewhat quietly, then picked up his glass to cheers with John once more.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." John mocked, but both of them knew all to well that he wasn't joking, it was probably the most genuine thing he'd said all night.

#the beatles #beatles #beatles fanfic #the beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #mclennon #john lennon/paul mccartney #john lennonxpaul mccartney #paul mccartneyxjohn lennon #paul mccartney/john lennon

[thecoleopterawithana]

‘(Forgive Me) My Little Flower Princess’ was written during John Lennon’s stay in Bermuda, from June to July 1980, and recorded upon his return to the studio, on 14 August 1980. It wouldn’t be heard by the general public until 23 January 1984, on the posthumous album Milk And Honey.

The lyrics go as follows:

Forgive me, my little flower princess For crushing your delicateness Forgive me, if you could forgive me

Forgive me, my little flower princess For selfishness Forgive me, forgive me

Well, I know there is no way to repay you Whatever it takes I will try to The rest of my life I will thank you Thank you, thank you, my little

If you’ll forgive me, my little flower princess Never too late unless you can’t forgive

Time is on our side Let’s not waste another minute ‘Cause I love you, my little friend I really love you

Give me just one more chance And I’ll show you Take up the dance where we left off The rest of our life is the, my little

I’m home

Overall, the song seems to strike the same apologetic tone previously expressed in ‘Jealous Guy’ (1971) and ‘I Know (I Know)’ (1973).

I didn’t mean to hurt you I’m sorry that I made you cry Oh no, I didn’t want to hurt you I’m just a jealous guy 

— ‘Jealous Guy’ (1971)

I know what’s coming down and I know where it’s coming from and I know and I’m sorry (yes I am) but I never could speak my mind

— ‘I Know (I Know)’ (1973)

“The rest of my life I will thank you” gives a sense of gratitude for the other’s love and presence in his life, further explored in ‘Now And Then’ (1978). 

I know it’s true, it’s all because of you And if I make it through, it’s all because of you And now and then, if we must start again Well we will know for sure, that I love you

— ‘Now And Then’ (1978)

“Take up the dance where we left off” shows hope in a reconciliation that they have “the rest of our life” to experience, as found in ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ (1980) and ‘Grow Old Along With Me’ (1980).

It’s been too long since we took the time No-one’s to blame, I know time flies so quickly But when I see you darling It’s like we both are falling in love again It’ll be just like starting over, starting over

— ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ (1980)

Grow old along with me The best is yet to be When our time has come We will be as one God bless our love

— ‘Grow Old Along With Me’ (1980)

Nevertheless, this feeling that “time is on our side”  doesn’t take from the urgency to get together and “not waste another minute”, similarly dealt with in ‘Borrowed Time’ (1980) and ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ (1980).

Now I am older ah, hah The future is brighter and now is the hour 

— ‘Borrowed Time’ (1980)

It’s time to spread our wings and fly Don’t let another day go by my love

— ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ (1980)

Regarding the endearments used during the song, we find the classical ‘little friend’, famously used by aunt Mimi in reference to Paul. (It is also worth noting that, tongue-in-cheek or not, in French ‘petit-ami’ means boyfriend). 

Also, the song is called ‘My Little Flower Princess’. It is known that Yoko Ono has reported hearing Paul being called ‘John’s princess’ around Apple.

But it’s John’s thing with flowers as a metaphor for love that fascinates me the most. 

Forgive me, my little flower princess For crushing your delicateness

…

Forgive me, my little flower princess For selfishness

John, after some introspection, has reached the conclusion that his relationship with Paul was destroyed by “inattention or inadvertence of selfishness”. He seemed self-aware enough to realise that his half of the “blame” was a problematic possessiveness:

Q: Do you think that a new attitude towards love and relationships – would it be fair to say we’re getting away from the property concept of relationships? John: Of owning the other person? I think – yeah, we could be. But uh… That’s all very well intellectually, but when you actually are in love with somebody, you tend to be jealous and want to own them, possess them a hundred per cent. Which I do. Yoko: Yes, it’s real life, all that. And I do it too. John: But intellectually, before that, I thought – right. I mean, owning a person is rubbish, but. I love Yoko, I want to possess her completely; I don’t want to stifle her, you know? [Yoko laughs] And that’s the danger, it’s that you want to possess them to death. But… that’s a personal problem of mine. Yoko: But we’re doing alright now – just very nice, you know. In other words, I think— John: It’s after the beginning, when it cools down a bit – not cools down, whatever, it st– uh, whatever the word is, you know – that you can allow each other to breathe. Yoko: Yes. When you relax a bit, you know. John: But at first you tend to strangle each other, I think. Yoko: And [inaudible] we’re starting to relax— John: And because you have so little as a child, I think it is, you – when once you find it, you want to hang onto it, you grab it so much you tend to kill it.

— John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Women’s Hour Interview for BBC Radio 2. (28  May 1971)

John even goes as far as to recognise that him not feeling loved enough as a child by his parents, was the original cause of all his insecurities and franticness. So desperate was he for love, that he ended up “crushing its delicateness”. 

A decade later, we get another glimpse into his matured perception of the nature of love:

Q: As Tom Robbins half-facetiously asks in his most recent book, “How do you make love stay?”

John: Trying to possess it makes it go away. Trying to possess somebody makes them go away. Every time you put your finger on it, it slips away. Every time you turn the microscope’s light on, the thing changes so you can never see what it is. As soon as you ask the question, it goes away. Peripheral vision is what it is. There’s no looking directly at it. Try to look at the sun. You go blind, right? Now that doesn’t mean you don’t have to work on it. Love is a flower and you have to water it.

— John Lennon and Yoko Ono, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

John suggests that not only being possessive of the person you’re in love with “makes them go away”, but that the love itself is subject to some weird kind of observer effect, in which the mere act of trying to understand the relationship alters it — “As soon as you ask the question, it goes away.” (And this specific example is, in my opinion, another crucial clue about what went down.)

This philosophy that love is ruined by conscious interference and the specific choice in words — Love is like a flower — seem to have been heavily inspired by the D. H. Lawrence poem ‘Mess Of Love’. (Note that D. H. Lawrence has been referred to in the Beatles presence).

We’ve made a great mess of love Since we made an ideal of it. The moment I swear to love a woman, a certain woman, all my life That moment I begin to hate her.

The moment I even say to a woman: I love you! — My love dies down considerably.

The moment love is an understood thing between us, we are sure of it, It’s a cold egg, it isn’t love any more.

Love is like a flower, it must flower and fade; If it doesn’t fade, it is not a flower, It’s either an artificial rag blossom, or an immortelle, for the cemetery.

The moment the mind interferes with love, or the will fixes on it, Or the personality assumes it as an attribute, or the ego takes possession of it, It is not love any more, it’s just a mess. And we’ve made a great mess of love, mind-perverted, will-perverted, ego-perverted love.

But while Lawrence urges us to accept the fleetingness of love (going as far as to say that it’s its own ephemerous, untouched and undefinable nature that gives it meaning), John clearly wants to strike a compromise. Because while he admits he was probably crushing this delicate flower by “wanting to possess it to death”, you still have to water it, Paul! 

In fact, John’s first known comparison to love being like a flower reflected more his unmet expectations than his own role in the end of the relationship.

Love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard, or just think it’s gonna get on with itself. You gotta keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it, and be careful of it, and keep the flies off and see that it’s alright, and nurture it.

— John Lennon, 'Man of the Decade’ Interview (2 December 1969).

John was clearly feeling neglected, hurt by the “kind of insensitivity [Paul] would have”. And his own desperate need to acknowledge the love and have it validated — coupled with Paul being “scared to say ‘I love you’” — escalated into a vicious “mind game” where John was ready to do absolutely anything to get Paul’s attention or some sign that he cared, including destroying the Beatles.

It seems fitting then, that around the same time, an emotionally exhausted Paul was marvelling at the self-reliant and giving nature of the new plants in his life:

When we are in Scotland we plant stuff – vegetables – and we’ll leave them there, and of their own volition they will push up. And not only will they push up and grow into something, but then they will be good to eat. To me that’s an all-time thing. That’s fantastic. How clever! Just that things push their own way up and they feed you.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed for Life Magazine (16 April 1971).  

I like to think that by 1980, at the time this song was written, they had matured enough to “work it out”. 

John knew he couldn’t be possessive to the point of crushing the flower, or selfish enough not to realise that he also has to water. With his more self-assured persona, he would probably learn to recognise and accept Paul’s Acts of Service for the love expression that they were, and eventually even help Paul himself overcome his own insecurities regarding saying Words of Affirmation outside the plausible deniability of songs. 

Unfortunately, despite their beliefs, time was not on their side. 

But like Yoko said:

Once you know somebody, you can never unknow that person. And knowing is loving. So you can never get out of love. There might be misunderstandings and separating for other reasons, but love is always there. Staying together is just one form of love. Maybe that’s a strong love and expression of love. But love is a soul thing. It always stays there.

— Yoko Ono, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

John himself had said it to Paul some years prior:

Bless you wherever you are

Windswept child on a shootin’ star

Restless spirits depart Still we’re deep in each other’s hearts

…

Bless you whoever you are Holding her now, be warm and kind hearted

And remember although love is strange Now and forever our love will remain

— ‘Bless You’ (1974)

#for you were in my song #(forgive me) my little flower princess #Jealous Guy #I Know (I Know) #(Just Like) Starting Over #NOW AND THEN #Bless You #Borrowed Time #Love is like a flower and you have to water it #I know that we can get together We can make it Stick with me #i was feeling insecure #I'm just a jealous guy #my stuff #1980 #johnny #macca #yoko ono #outro #grow old with me #The Epistolary