#(don't answer that. it's a rhetorical question)

[cripplecharacters]

Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?

[large text: Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?]

(TLDR: no. literally no.)

A frequent topic that shows up around facial differences is the self-hatred, self-disgust, self-insert-negative-emotion that we must surely experience. I want to ask* writers without FDs - why? Why do you feel about us in such a way that that's the most common way of depicting us?

*- rhetorical question. I promise I know the answers, but I'm not sure if writers do.

It's frankly worrying to me. Is it really that common to assume that disabled people have this internal, never-ending hatred for themselves? The overwhelming majority of us don't. We hate inaccessibility, when people stare, or some symptoms when they get in the way, or how expensive being disabled is, but I find the concept of us being so completely disturbed by our own disabilities extremely strange. It’s “tragedy porn” intersecting “most basic ableism”.

“But trauma!”

[large text: “But trauma!”]

Trauma of what! People with facial differences don't have some sort of default trauma that we come with like it’s a factory setting. We are a group of people with tens of thousands of stories and experiences!

“Trauma of experiencing ableism/disfiguremisia” - that's better, at least this means something. If you're writing a story about this, please get a sensitivity reader with a facial difference. You can assume how we feel all you want, but in my experience these assumptions are often bizarre and unrealistic. Or just end up writing the same “disability so sad” sob story that everyone has seen a billion times. If you want to write about disfiguremisia, you need to understand the nuance and have more than just the basic level knowledge (which 99% of people don’t have either). If you can’t do that, don’t write about it. Simple as that.

“Trauma of the accident” - thankfully, the accident is an event and a facial difference is a disability. If you want to connect these two like they're one and the same, you're almost surely going to demonize disability. People with traumatic spinal cord injuries, acquired amputees, people with TBI, people with acquired facial differences - we participate in our communities, we have hobbies, we date, we play with our dogs. Disability isn't a death sentence. Media who make it feel like it is certainly don't help people who do suddenly become disabled, don't you think?

Here's a post by @blindbeta about blind characters becoming blind through trauma that’s better made than anything I could hope to write here. I heavily recommend giving it a read.

And, I can't stress this enough - most of us didn't have “the accident”, most of us are born like this! "Traumatic scars" isn't the only facial difference that exists, far from it, it's only one of thousands. It's 99% of our representation and "representation". If you want to make a character with FD - please consider that we aren't a monolith. Just like not all physical disabilities are "wheelchair user with paralysis", not all facial differences are "traumatic scar with somehow no nerve damage".

The overrepresentation of it is incredibly telling, and sometimes - or very frequently - feels like the writer doesn’t actually even want to deal with us. They want to use our disability as a way to cheap drama, moral metaphors, tragic backstories. Not to represent us as living people who are much more similar to you than you apparently think.

Now, I do have enough awareness to know that that's a big part of the appeal. “Horrific Thing #2456 happens” and boom, instant drama! Of course, it's a reasonable response that they would hide their disability for years, avoid talking about it in any way, and magically change their personality to be mean and reclusive, or at least be constantly soooo sad about how much it sucks to be disabled, right?

Do I really need to say that having your character becoming disabled be the worst thing ever is ableism 101? We have been talking about this for so long at this point. Writing about the process of adapting to a specific disability is better left to people who have actual experience in it.

To give an example that will hopefully resonate more with Tumblr users, I will use the fact that I'm also gay. It's not perfect by any means but probably much more familiar territory.

Imagine, let's say, a character. He's gay. The story he's in is supposedly progressive, certainly not trying to be homophobic. The character has experienced an incident, maybe an act of aggression or a hate crime, that happened because he’s gay, which was traumatic. Happens IRL, sure. So of course the character starts hating being gay. He talks about how gross and disgusting it is, he never lets anyone know that he could be “one of them”, certainly not take a stance against homophobia. You can't mention him without mentioning the accident, they're seemingly fused together. No gay love, joy, even basic happiness, he would actually choose to be straight in a heartbeat if given the option to and complains that he can't. This is shown as a neutral, obvious thing that a gay man would do, no one comments on it. He stays like this the whole time, unless there’s a plot twist in the last 10 pages where the world is now magically perfect ("we fixed discrimination, yay!"). This is the only LGBT character in the story.

Keep in mind that there are people similar to this in real life, living with extreme internalized homophobia.

Is this, in your opinion, realistic and thoughtful representation? How does it feel when written by a cishet writer, versus a gay writer who is recalling his experiences? Do you think that it's reasonable for the majority of media representation to be like this, or very close to it? How would it affect younger gay people who might already be uncomfortable with being queer? Are gay men the target audience, or are they not even considered as a group of people who read books? Is this helping or damaging the general public's idea of how it is to be gay? Why or why not?

The Masterpiece

[large text: The Masterpiece]

From 13 to 19 of May, we are celebrating Face Equality week (what a coincidence!). It’s important to me in general - and I wish it was more important to abled people, but I digress - especially its theme for this year.

“My Face is a Masterpiece”

Great statement, it represents the community well, I do enjoy how bold it is. Very cool stuff, I love the work our advocates are doing!

But why do I bring this up?

Well, to very non-subtly show that we aren’t a self-hating group of people. We are a community, a community saying “our faces are beautiful, look!”, we are saying “treat us equally, and do it now!”. Our activism isn’t about self-disgust. It’s about fighting your-disgust. 

Why can’t writers keep up? Why are you still stuck decades behind?

Is this the only reason I bring it up?

The Call to Celebration

[large text: The Call to Celebration]

FEI, the org behind organizing it, asks a very simple question (emphasis mine):

“Why do we so often see stories about facial difference as a ‘tragedy’, when they should be about triumph?” “Calling all artists, allies, creatives, galleries.  You can rewrite the story to bring about #FaceEquality and celebrate the unique artistry found in every face. Your participation this #FaceEqualityWeek will help to tell the real story, that there is a masterpiece in every face.”

Here. We are calling for you to stop. Directly from the biggest international advocacy alliance group that's out there. If you create, this is for you.

The last argument to not have your character with a facial difference hate themselves? Because we don’t want this. We are tired and frustrated. For me personally, I’m also offended by this kind of assumption. We aren’t tragedies or cheap entertainment for abled people to pity or be horrified by. We are people, and if you can’t internalize that, you have no reason to write about us.

For once, celebrate us. Happy Face Equality Week!

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #face difference #ableism #disfiguremisia #face equality week #my face is a masterpiece #writing guide #writing help #writeblr #writing resources #writing advice #writing tips #writing characters #how to write #writing disabled characters #writing disability

[holy--milk]

people be like "stop calling mxtx a genius, she's not even the best author in her particular niche",

and i'm like "but have you considered that i don't care if she's not objectively the best author as long as she's able to write characters and stories that make me go Insane for literal years?"

#like who else does it like her #(don't answer that. it's a rhetorical question) #the only other author who's ever been able to keep me up at night thinking about blorbos #is j r r tolkien #and tbh that was when i was younger and more into that particular flavour of fantasy #there's just a very particular something about those two and their writing #that makes my brain go brrr #if you know what i mean #mxtx #svsss #mdzs #tgcf

[fromtheseventhhell]

Why is it always people who don't even like Arya trying to police how we speak about her? They clearly don't read her chapters and couldn't come up with five things they like about her to save their lives, yet they're always worrying about what we have to say. They really can't stand that we don't view her as a one-dimensional prop for another character 🥴

#arya stark #asoiaf #anti sansa stans #always bothered by what we have to say stay out of family business! #that question was rhetorical...the answer is that their fanon is built on her being reduced to an unimportant prop #and they can't handle the thought of her having her own arc independent of another character #cause it ruins their fantasy that she's just an unimportant bodyguard/warrior #it's like the same few posts every week getting recycled accusing us of wanting her to be a hyper-fem Sansa clone #just because we have nuanced conversations about her that don't reduced her to a flat archetype 😭 #if we're really so annoying then just block + mute us and move on it's that simple #you should not be this obsessed with speaking on the stans of a character that you admit you don't care about

[revvethasmythh]

so. is it just me or does it feel like any time someone discusses a topic wherein they might say "this thing is not to my personal taste" and/or "I like this other thing better than that" it gets perceived as hate or discourse? because I feel like whenever I see someone having a fairly mild discussion about a topic (often just on their own blog) or even just discussing their personal opinions and taste, I will then see responses from others that are wild and extreme interpretations of what was actually said. what is going on. you are making a wedding cake out of a pancake. take a breath

#this is in many ways a rhetorical question i am posing (does not need answering) but also #it really is starting to feel like you can say anything and see a vitriolic rebuttal from out of nowhere #i made a post about c2 once because i'm rewatching c2 and someone make a vaguepost about it making it about c3 hate #which had nothing to do with anything #and don't get me started on how people perceive any discussion of im*dna #you can say ''wow that seems messy'' and instantly have ten people griping about ''THOSE weirdoes who think it's ABUSIVE and GROSS'' #who are you yelling at. I think you guys are seeing the hat man or sm

[scientia-rex]

I'm Roomba cleaning again, complicated by the fact that I'm also taking down and packing away the decorations from Christmas, and since I change things/buy things/get rid of things every year while I try to fine-tune my decorations, that also means packing them away is more complicated than when I was a kid and it was like "here are our 5 boxes of Christmas decorations that will be the same until we die."

So I get to feeling frustrated and scattered because no one thing is coming together, because I keep going "oh shit, laundry. Okay, now that I'm in the laundry room, let's grab these Christmas sheets I cleaned and set aside a week ago and see if they fit in the new sheet organizer I got. Okay, now that the sheets are in the organizer, they have to go in the closet. Okay, now I'm standing in front of the closet and oh look there's a thing I need to carry back out to the living room." And it feels like nothing like happening, but I can TELL it is. If I give myself an ounce of credit, I can see that I'm getting closer and closer to the house looking the way I want it to.

It just sucks! I just hate having the ADD. Like, on the one hand, what is ADD, how do we define it, what useful characteristics does the definition have, how will our understanding of this change as our base of behavioral neuroscientific knowledge increases over time, but also: there's something different about how my brain works and it's times like this I wish there wasn't!

#I am NOT ASKING for anyone to attempt to ANSWER those questions #they are RHETORICAL #I know more about ADD than the vast majority of tumblr users ever will #I'm saying that NO ONE knows ENOUGH about ADD #and that is why science is important #so for the love of GOD don't show up in the replies and reblogs like actually did you know you have ADD? YES I AM AWARE

[clonerightsagenda]

Contemplating whether I need to make a Dungeon Meshi version of my Animorphs 'this is an ongoing liveblog, stop filling my replies with spoilers' banner

#I know people get excited and luckily I am fairly chill about spoilers but man #I enjoy asking rhetorical questions for myself. I don't need them answered I trust the story will get there

[cypric-rat-hyperfixation]

Why are you not posting about Palestine and condemning Isreal? There is a literal genocide going on

... excuse me

#ratsk tag #not rats but worth sharing #i am. leery #like. i do not have so much as an internal reaction to this because i. don't know what anon is getting at #what they are trying to goad from me #does this ask mean ''i would like your genuine actual deadass straight answer to this question like as an autism would answer it'' #does this ask mean ''you are shitty for not posting about palestine & israel'' #(or perhaps ''it is shitty of you not to post about palestine & israel'') #does this ask mean ''you should post about palestine & israel. the question is rhetorical and meant to guilt you into doing so'' #whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo knows.

[lukmarc10]

is it worrying that daydreaming and media consumption are my only hobbies

#maladaptive daydreaming #madd #rhetorical question pls don't answer

[captainofthetidesbreath]

why does every soldier in the cosmos have a working knowledge of at least one area of cosmetology, regardless of who they work for

#this is a rhetorical question so don't answer it #something something about the Trust and the Baronies being very similar just with different coats of nail paint something something ig #Midst #Midst podcast #Midst things #Midst spoilers

[ariana-517]

I just realized that Aerion "evil bitch (from the Hedge Knight novel)" and Aerion "guy who thinks he's a dragon (from the GoT wiki)" Targaryen are the same person T_T

HOW DID I NOT KNOW??? IT WAS LITERALLY IN THE BOOK

#rhetorical question I don't need answers #dunk and egg #hedge knight

[jeansyvesmoreau]

what the fuck is happening with jason kelce

#melone.txt #this is a RHETORICAL QUESTION don't answer me I wanna stay oblivious

[epickiya722]

How can anyone look at Miruko and decide not to like her though?

#rhetorical question don't care for an answer #because someone is bound to come in like 'well i don't like miruko yadda yadda' #she's a goddesss #she kicks ass #there's so much potential there #you have your fave you want to put under a microscope i have mine #just kiya's thoughts #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #miruko #mirko #usagiyama rumi #rumi usagiyama #rabbit hero mirko #rabbit hero miruko #miruko bnha #miruko mha #mirko bnha #mirko mha #I'M SHIFTING INTO MIRUKO FANGIRL MODE #💜🐇🌙

[emersonfreepress]

“but for the last time im not a fuckin therapist and if you want my characters to comfort your mc just write it yourself”

LMAOO definely didn’t need that, like i get it that you’re tired of people sending asks like this but no one wants YOU to be their therapist? they are just asking for ROs reactions and you have the right to not answer, just not with this rudness? it was unecessary, but you just be you i guess.

other thing, your answer makes me question, won't there be a scene where MC is sad, cry or any breakdown where the ROs comfort MC? for your answer it seems not 🤷‍♂️

or you could read what I already wrote about why I don't like hurt/comfort prompts literally 2 years ago (since it's linked in the masterpost, next to the red) instead of coming in my inbox with this nonsense. I expressed discomfort with prompts like that nicely and people sent them anyway. I put it on the ask page and people sent them anyway. It's in red on the masterpost and people send them anyway.

so how about, at this point, i address it in however tone i want with whatever language i want?

#don't worry that question is rhetorical #answered #please do not #emphatically do not #i could have been a dick and posted a compilation of those weird upsetting shitty asks i've gotten over the years #but i decided to be rude and call no one out specifically instead #you could have checked the tag on that post and seen that my reaction doesn't come from nowhere #but you be you too k?

[cursed-clock-shop]

Jenny June would have loved Gatorade.

#rip queen #died of not enough sport energy #she should have gotten a sponsorship to swim across that lake #like why the fuck did she do that for free #don't answer that #rhetorical question #failure: a love story #failure a love story #jenny june fail #autism #adhd #gatorade

[ghostofasecretary]

feeling very down! annoyed about it! i had a good day!! i am upset that my brain went on a 45 minute long spiral about how bad my last job went and also how bad All My Trauma Ever has been and also how my life is a mess! i am trying to get out of that pit but it's not going great! graaaaargh!!

#bad brains blogging #ghost speaks #can't i just. chill out #please for. like. one second #should i just try to sleep?? it's too early to sleep well tho #and i am shaking a lil bit with nervous energy #(rhetorical question don't answer) #grsasmxdkxmfkccnndmaARGH #self pity is a losing game but that doesn't stop me from playing!! #i want. for people to validate how bad it was. and for people to call me crazy and stupid and still be sad for me. no i do not want that on #i just. feel crazy and stupid and sorry for myself and it's not great i miss feeling cool and productive and helpful and funny and lovely #and no one can feel that way all the time but this. current bout of feelings. Sure Was More Memories Than I Wanted!!! #what would it be like to not have ptsd #i got--close to recovery/very few symptoms but also at that time i was getting set up for New Trauma 2.0 #and then transitioned straight from barely processing 2.0 to just. uh. trauma 3.0 you did it to yourself version #feels!! real bad!!!! #okay either go watch tv or go to bed stop having a mental breakdown in the tags

[eatsteas]

how do you people just shop online without feeling horrible dread and the fear that you're being scammed even when you're going on the most reputable websites. this is my boomer trait sorry fuck online shopping i hate online shopping

#rhetorical question i don't need an actual answer