Tumgik
#(he himself is also emotionally unavailable)
arcane-gold · 10 months
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session 1 to session 4
(we got an enemies to lovers dynamic folks)
oscar (he/him) belongs to me and isofka (he/they) belongs to @mynqzo
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wambs · 6 months
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i have been stewing in the hate crimes md content for almost a month now, why did nobody tell me that house's subconscious (the Amber hallucination) literally told him to tell wilson he loves him. that happened on my screen. i rewatched it 5 times with my volume all the way up bcs it felt like a fever dream. pain and repression show.
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poststhatcrackmyegg · 4 months
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There are people out there who think buggy did something wrong at loguetown. Y'all buggy escaped his ten year long situationship with shanks, his straight( in buggy's eyes only don't @ me) best friend. If I had been buggy's friend right then I would've thrown a party like the strawhats in skipea with the wolves.
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ef-1 · 7 months
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Thomas Hardy said Neutral Tones, baby
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astramachina · 6 months
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every time i wear my dad's old gray flannel i think about texting him and telling that if he didn't intend for me to be trans then he shouldn't have given me half his closet when i moved out.
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multiimistakes · 5 months
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idk how to describe Des and Lance's relationship dynamic other than vaguelly calling it open and Lance telling Des he's the one scaring away the hoes.
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fmhobeus · 2 months
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jjk men and their red flags
a/n: i'm feeling problematic :> tell me what u think (agree/disagree/add more?) this is all for shits n giggles !! non sorcerer au kinda
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kento nanami — (over)protective
but like... to the point where it feels like he's treating you like a child! he doesnt like to see you sweat or even work at all for that matter. he loves it when you cook but has bought covers for all the knifes. if he sees a burn on your hand get ready for a 10 minute long lecture. if you accidentally fall he wont let you get up for atleast 3 days to help you ""heal."" it's almost like he doesnt trust you to take care of yourself :') he probably has like 3 separate first-aid kits everywhere.
suguru geto — emotionally unavailable
i feel like this is explainable to his character (sort of.) i dont think that he'd make you feel isolated at all, he's be an amazing listener and probably memorizes every word you say. he listens to you rant and even trauma dump with insane patience. but at some point it feels as though you hardly know him. he's talk to you a lot but very little of it is personal and you hardly know what he's thinking because his ass is not tell you. he also unintentionally distances himself from people from time to time. this applies to you too and you can feel him getting emotionally distant sometimes. it isnt something he does knowingly but it sure ass hell bothers you.
satoru gojo — very clingy and needy
this nigga. he is so utterly clingy. and at first it's perfectly fine, even appreciated by you. you still love him like crazy of course but it is just overwhelming. he is like a child most of the time, he need you around him and is always accompanying you wherever you go, and he expects you to do the same. he also doesn't believe in "me time" because why would you feel better when you're away from him: (? want to hang out with your friends? what do you need them for: (? he's right there. he is also physically incapable of listening but boy is he good at making up.
toji fushiguro — controlling
he is so controlling omfg. it's usually subtle but sometimes he will outright just say no to things he doesnt like, not caring if you like them. it gets to the point where he actually starts to change your personality. he is very caring and that's his justification for this typa stuff. it is usually harmless stuff but he gets paranoid often. he doesnt let you wear miniskirts out if you're not with him. he doesn't let you befriend people he thinks are into you. he barely lets you buy stuff on your own, he usually gifts you whatever it is youre into at that moment. borderline turned on by fear and you being dependent on him.
choso kamo — has no social life outside you
pretty self explanatory. he doesnt have many friends outside you and isn't interesting in making them either. total loser. so taking him out to events, he probably doesnt interact much and chooses to look at you the entire time, which annoys your friends. he answers their questions pretty bluntly. he's never down to have people over and lowkey hates when you are.
hiromi higuruma — workaholic
also self explanatory. he leaves early, comes home late. you barely see him on the weekdays. sometimes he goes as far as ignoring your calls when in between cases. he calls you periodically but has to have an alarm set to remind him. he loves you very very deeply but is just used to working non stop T_T
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loaksky · 1 year
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— 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘴
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the deets — in which you, a quiet healer in the tribe, have the biggest crush on the upcoming leader. sometimes you think the feelings could be mutual. until one night in the glowing forest shatters that.
the who — neteyam x fem omatikaya!reader
the word count — like 7.6k (jesus h. christ)
the tags — idiots-to-lovers (it's teyam, he's the dummy), childhood friends-to-lovers, one-sided pining (reader is a softie).
the warnings — language, a lil kithy kithy, neteyam's emotionally constipated, but he redeems himself! reader's kind of a pushover, but it comes full circle!
the notes — first post for avatar & i'm really excited but a lil nervous bc like ??? i haven't written fanfic in SO long. i imagine neteyam & reader to be a few years older in this fic (eighteen or nineteen), but at the same time the circumstances could fit their current age as well. finally, this is written in a heinous blend of second / third. don't know how to explain, but i think it flows okay? if you like it please leave a request or let's have a chat! (also barely proofread oops).
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YOU AND NETEYAM HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN DISTANT ORBIT. Many would argue the two of you are cut from the same cloth; quiet, noble, mature, but you couldn't feel even more disconnected from the tribe's golden boy even if a chasm would crack the earth between you.
It's why you think it's silly that you'd develop such a yearning, your heart thudding like a war drum every time his amber eyes flit to yours. There's never any weight to his gaze, just fleeting glances among frequent observation, but you can't help but stare.
It doesn't help that his youngest siblings cling to you like a second and third skin, chattering excitedly about whatever piques their immediate interest. You just listen and hum your acknowledgements, a comfort to the two as you move through your studies.
Oftentimes he's sent to fetch his siblings, clearing his throat outside of the tent's flaps to announce himself, then wiggling a few fingers through the opening before peering in.
He's always in a hurry, never biting when you offer him opportunities to linger. You understand, how busy it can be when the whole clan begins to rely on you. So you bask in the short-lived moments in his space, skin scented with salt and the tang of the foliage.
But there are moments when you truly think he sees you. When you cross paths during clan meals, and the smallest of smiles twitches in his lips when you cut fruit and he's the first you offer to. When it's time to train to shoot your bows and he adjusts your form with a brief brush of his fingers on your elbow. When all of the older healers are unavailable and he shyly peeks his head into your tent for a quick patch up.
Nevermind the small tells stored in your short-term, but the little slivers of time when you were both growing into yourselves. When you were seven and he'd carried you to the elders when you hurt yourself. When some of the older kids in the clan would pick on you for keeping to yourself and he'd tell them that it was unbecoming and cowardly to pick on someone weaker than them. When he picked a flower during a group excursion into the deep depths of the forest and stuck the glowing stem in your satchel.
You had fallen so hard for Neteyam and your only hope is that he'd be at the end of the fall to catch you.
“You're not listening, ________!” Tuk whines and you look up from the scrolls you unfurled from the basket moments before she walked in.
“Sorry,” you murmur. “I have a lot on my mind.”
There's a small giggle from somewhere else in the tent and you peer from Tuk to Kiri who beads an anklet on her own.
“Yeah, like big brother,” Tuk teases, turning her attention back to her own beadwork.
Kiri's face splits into a grin.
“You've been lost in thought a lot more recently,” she observes. “Could Tuk be correct?”
You don't bother to deny it, the obvious flush in your cheeks a dead giveaway. Kiri's always been perceptive and the more you fight her on it, the longer she'll draw it out.
“I think it's worth a shot,” Kiri says. “Neteyam’s always had a soft spot for you.”
It's a million degrees hotter in the tent.
“You don't have to do that,” you say quietly, slouching in your seat.
“Do what?” Kiri challenges.
“Pretend I have a chance.”
Kiri makes a face.
“You do!” she argues. “Neteyam's just shy.”
You're silent for a moment, fingers twitching over a tear in the scroll. You want to believe her, tell her that you think it could be worth a shot, too. But you scent him before you hear him, and then you hear him before you see him.
Four blue fingers wiggle in the tent's opening before Neteyam is poking his head inside.
“Tuk? Kiri?” his voice rumbles. “Ready?”
Kiri glances at you as she stands to her feet and begins gathering her things. Her eyebrows do a little dance, eyes widening as she tilts her head discreetly to her brother.
“I'll see you,” you say quietly, patting Tuk on the back of her leg as she drops her finished anklet in your lap and giggles at you.
You follow their movements as they exit the tent through where Neteyam holds the flap open for them patiently.
He simply lifts a hand as a silent greeting and you wait until they're out of sight and earshot to expel the breath you'd been holding and slump down on your pillow.
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In hindsight, you should have been more careful. Neteyam was a skillful hunter, the tribe's best warrior after his father. It's only normal that he'd be in the dense forest when you were plucking flowers and herbs for your salves, speaking quietly to Eywa about your concerns.
“Please, Great Mother,” you whisper, the woodsprites caressing the skin of your arms. "Please give me a sign, any form of motivation to be brave about my feelings."
The grass below your toes lights up and tickles the pads of your fingers as you pluck the glowing flowers.
There's a trail of them, purple and pink, and you pluck and pluck and pluck until you're led to the mouth of a clearing.
Something salty and tangy circles your figure and like usual, you scent him before you see him. When your gaze latches onto his lithe figure, you grin a little, lips parting to announce yourself. This must be your sign, of how vast and great the forests are surrounding your looming home tree, it must be fate that you stumble upon him at this hour.
But his name dies on your tongue when he shifts and you see the silhouette of another pressed to his side.
It's another Omaticaya girl, pretty and tall. You'd know her anywhere, the waves of her thick hair, the tinkle of her dainty laugh. But she is fierce all the same, far from perfect, but gritty enough that it doesn't matter.
Te'feyra draws a bow and one of Neteyam's hands come up to adjust her front grasp, fingers closing over hers and the arrow.
“Steady hands to make up for the recoil,” he says softly and your heart is in your throat.
He's engulfing her as she takes her aim and sends the arrow flying through the air.
Somewhere unknown to you, the arrow sticks its landing and Te'feyra jumps excitedly, pressing her lips to Neteyam's briefly.
You back away from the clearing, eyes burning as you fist the flowers so hard they wilt in your hands. A twig snaps underneath your weight and from your distance, you see the glow of Neteyam and Te'feyra's eyes through the brush.
You take off running without a single word, and despite your stomach tearing itself to ribbons, you thank Eywa for the clarity.
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“Something's wrong,” Kiri says to you days later.
Instead of the tent, you two are sitting on opposing branches of a thick tree, observing the flora and fauna of your corner of the forest. You decide that you need some time away from the bustle of the clan's circle and venture off into the opposite side of the woods.
“Why do you say?” you wonder, scribbling onto one of your scrolls.
“You're naturally quiet, I get that, but the past few days, I feel like I've been in the presence of the dead,” she sighs, staring down at you from the branch above. “And Ewya's given me the feeling that all may not be well with you.”
You lick your teeth, then roll your lips nervously.
“I told you Neteyam didn't like me,” you admit.
Kiri's eyebrows furrow.
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw him,” you sigh, fiddling with your pen. “In the forest with Te'feyra. She kissed him.”
Kiri curses under her breath.
“This is stupid,” she huffs. “He's just being stupid. Neteyam likes you and I'm going to prove it.”
You open your mouth to protest, but Kiri's already jumping down from the branches of the tree and dragging you with her through the darkening forest.
“Kiri, this isn't necessary,” you finally pipe up. “It's okay if the feeling isn't mutual, I never expected it to be.”
Kiri stops in her tracks and her pinched face softens, braids swinging by the set of her jaw.
“________, we all grew up together,” she says softly. “I know my brother, and I know you. You two belong together, I feel it.”
You swallow around nothing, allowing her to drag you through the forest and back into the clan's main circle.
“Hey, Kiri! ________, where are you two headed off to in such a rush?” one of the elders calls from where they're working on tools.
Kiri smiles politely.
“Very important business,” she replies quickly, fingers tightening around your wrist to pull you across the grass.
You stop in front of their family's hometree and Kiri guides you through vines and steep inclines before pausing in front of their family's tent.
Lo'ak's voice sounds from within, whiny and irritated.
“Bro, are you being serious right now?” he squeaks and Neteyam grunts, obviously bored.
“Frankly, Lo'ak this has nothing to do with you,” he says.
“Dude, yes it does,” Lo'ak argues. “You've inadvertently involved everyone in this affair because you won't get your head out of your ass for three seconds and just admit that you like her.”
“I don't like, ________,” he says simply and Kiri freezes in front of you.
You chew the inside of your cheek, fingers twitching in Kiri's loosened hold.
“Who are you trying to convince?” Lo'ak moans. “You're really going to commit to Te'feyra even though you have no interest in her?”
“Te'feyra is a great huntress,” Neteyam says simply. “She's well-loved, a strong leader. What's there not to like?”
“________ is all of those things,” Lo'ak says. “She's a talented healer, always patches you up when you get yourself in trouble. The clan loves her, Tuk and Kiri love her, Mom and Dad love her.”
“The clan barely knows that ________ exists,” Neteyam says and you wince.
Kiri makes a move to infiltrate the heated conversation, but you put a hand on her shoulder and shake your head.
“Dude, that's low,” Lo'ak scoffs in disbelief.
“________ is a sweet girl, but she's weak. She's hollow and does what she's told. I wouldn't want to spend my life bonded to someone so passive,” Neteyam says plainly and Lo'ak lets out an exasperated hiss.
“You're kidding right? ________ is amazing,” Lo'ak challenges. “She's quiet, but she's caring. She's resilient and intelligent and anyone would be lucky to be bonded to someone like her, your stupid ass included.”
“Maybe you should focus more on training for your rite rather than trying to play matchmaker,” Neteyam says, showing the first signs of annoyance.
“You just won't admit that for the first time you're scared,” Lo'ak finally says.
Everything seems to still and Lo'ak presses on.
“Everyone loves you, you're the clan's golden child and you can do no wrong. You like ________ so much, but you're afraid that you'll let her down,” Lo'ak says fiercely. “But you don't realize that being a pussy about your feelings is the ultimate let down!”
“You'd know a lot about being a let down, wouldn't you,” Neteyam grumbles.
There's a split second of silence before Neteyam lets out a loud grunt of pain. The flap to their tent flies open and Lo'ak freezes before you and Kiri.
His eyes meet yours and his gaze softens before stalking past.
Neteyam stands stunned in the middle of the tent, lip bruised and bleeding. His gaze swings to the arch way, face falling when he finds you standing behind his younger sister.
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“Wanna go swimming?” Tuk asks you the next evening, after dinner.
You smile down at her weakly, heart melting when she pets your hand. You can't deny her, nodding gently as you stand from where you're sitting on the outer circle of the scattered clan.
“Carry me?” she asks sweetly.
You heave her up with a grunt and she grins at you, playing with one of the braids in your hair. Her small fingers caress the skin of your cheek and you blink when she ghosts over your eyelid.
“Pretty,” she whispers, head nestling on your shoulder.
“I think you're prettier,” you tell her, readjusting her growing form as you walk through the brush, towards the rush of the waterfall.
You don't realize that there's a set of eyes on you, watching as you disappear through the trees with Tuk.
The cliff that houses the waterfall towers above you two in a semicircle, the water rippling gently as Tuk squirms from your grasp and splashes through the shallow pool.
“Stay close, Tuk,” you coo, toes wiggling through the pebbles washed up on the tiny shore.
“I've been practicing!” Tuk tells you. “Wanna see how long I can hold my breath under water?”
“Stay in shallow waters,” you advise her, wading into the pool until you're waist deep.
Tuk dramatically inhales and then sinks down under the surface. Something cracks in the distance and you glance around, met with the stillness of the forest and the chirp of bugs.
When you turn your attention back to Tuk, you smile fondly as you wait for her to emerge, counting the seconds diligently to report to her chubby cheeks.
Fifteen pass, then thirty. Your smile begins to fade as your arms feel around in the water around you.
“Tuk?” you call out, chest tightening when you're met with the subtle rush of the glittering cascade from the waterfall up above.
You push forward in the water until your chin touches the surface.
“Tuktirey!” you shout, thrashing around the pool, searching for her tiny frame through the illumination. “Tuk!”
Your toes lose purchase as the water deepens and you begin to panic without the youngest Sully in sight. You turn when you hear a splash, Tuk giggling on the shore.
Your stomach churns hard and Tuk's face falls when she sees your panicked expression.
“Tuk, I-I can't swim well!” you cry out, legs flailing as you splash through the water. You try to dig your toes in the earth below, but you're just shy of the mark.
Tuk looks scared on the shore, fidgeting as she looks around desperately.
“You're too deep, ________!” Tuk whines, voice laced with tears.
Your legs ache, head lolling under the water for a moment before you emerge with a splutter.
“Get– Go get help!” you instruct her, feeling your calves begin to burn as you try to keep yourself afloat. You don't know how long you'll be able to tread water. “I'll be okay, little one. Hurry!”
Tuk turns, picking up her satchel as she makes way for the path you took. When she's out of sight, you fall slack, chest heaving as you try to use your skinny arms to paddle at the water.
Meanwhile, Tuktirey runs through the forest, tears spilling down her rounded cheeks as she trips over sprawling roots and nudges low-hanging vines from the pathway.
She skids to a stop when Neteyam, who had finally worked up the nerve to excuse himself from dinner, comes into view.
He turns when he hears her wailing, face scrunching when he registers his youngest sibling's anguish.
“Tuk, wha—”
She grabs at his hands, tugging him towards the path to the waterfall.
“________ needs help!” she cries. “She can't swim!”
Neteyam's ears prick at the mention of your name, scooping up his youngest sibling in his arms before breaking into a sprint through the brush of the brightening forest. The woodsprites begin to emerge and he barrels into the clearing of the waterfall breathlessly.
It's still, like it's been untouched and his heart hammers nervously in his chest, eyes searching the pool for any sign of you.
He's setting Tuk down quickly before splash desperately into the water.
“_______!” he calls.
He ducks underneath the surface, eyes open wide as he searches for you. And there you are, body slack as you sink slowly to the bottom of the rocky pool.
He dives forward, lungs burning as he cuts through the waters with lean arms. His fingers circle one of your wrists, the other hand winding around your waist as he propels you two up above the water. He chokes on a breath, hand coming up to touch your face.
Your head lolls to the side, eyes shut as Neteyam holds you close.
“Neteyam!” Te'feyra calls from the shore, having followed him after being rebuffed during dinner.
Kiri and Lo'ak are close behind, eyes wide when they see their eldest brother wading quickly through the waters with your unconscious form in his arms.
“Neteyam,” Te'feyra repeats, hand coming to grasp his bicep.
“Not now,” he grunts, tugging his arm from her grasp to march through the brush of the forest.
Woodsprites surround you two as he takes you back to the village, a silent plea to the Great Mother not to take you away weighing heavy on his lips.
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You awake to a shining sun and a wet towel on your head. You squint against the beaming light and sit up abruptly as the prior night dawns you like a swift strike to the gut.
“Whoa, wait, slow down,” a thick voice rumbles.
You scent him before you see him.
Neteyam's hands are on you, guiding you back to rest on the pile of pillows that had propped you up before.
You shoot up again anyways.
“Where's Tuk?” you ask anxiously.
“Tuk's fine,” Neteyam says. “She's eating breakfast with Kiri and Mom.”
You lean back in relief, eyes squeezing shut as you wheeze out a sigh.
His hands are on you again, gentle, warm as he takes the towel from your forehead and wipes your face to refresh you.
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly, hesitantly.
You pause a moment, but then nod.
“Yeah,” you affirm hoarsely. “M'fine.”
Neteyam just stares at you, yellow eyes unblinking and you know this isn't like one of those fleeting moments. He sees you and it makes your gut churn hard.
“I'll be okay here,” you say quietly. “You may have...someone, you know, waiting for you.”
Te'feyra's name is a silent implication and Neteyam doesn't look amused.
“I told them I would look after you until you're fully well,” he counters, wringing the towel into a bowl that sits next to the mound of blankets your rest on.
You fiddle with your fingers, fully disheartened because even in times like these, he remains the diligent leader-in-training that he is.
The air in the tent is think and you can't breathe.
“I'd like some air,” you whisper, crawling from the soft mat to climb to your feet shakily.
“You need to rest,” Neteyam says crossly, seemingly annoyed at your persistence to put as much distance as you can between the two of you.
You don't respond and finally he seems to burst.
“You can't swim and yet you still went after Tuk,” he calls after you like an accusation. “Why?”
You pause.
“Tuk is like a sister to me,” you say quietly. “I would never let anything happen to her.”
You make a move to exit the tent, but Neteyam's voice stops you in your tracks.
“You could have died,” he says quietly, and you can't place the emotion in his voice.
“I'd do it again,” you admit, craning your neck to face him. “I'm not that weak.”
Neteyam's face falls and you duck from the tent.
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Neteyam becomes restless after that moment. He loses his focus, agility taking a hit as he hunts one on one with his father.
He goes to shoot another arrow, but Jake stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Neteyam, I know I can be hard on you,” he starts. “But I’m always here.”
“Yes sir,” Neteyam nods.
“Something’s bothering you,” Jake observes. “You’re not yourself. You’re losing focus.”
Neteyam swallows.
“Sorry, sir,” he says, head hanging.
His braids form a curtain around his face and Jake gives his shoulder a squeeze.
“Son?”
Neteyam swallows again, head tilting up to look is dad in the face.
“I don’t want to be with Te’feyra,” he admits quietly.
Jake's lips twitch.
“Well I could have told you that,” Jake scoffs, the corner of his lips twitching into a soft smile. “You look about as dead as a washed up fish when she’s around.”
Neteyam recalls the kiss she’d given him nights ago and how he'd internally recoiled, body stiff under her touch.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats.
“Why are you sorry?” Jake prods.
“Because I know Te’feyra is who the clan wants me to be with, who is my most suitable match,” he says. “I just— I don't want to let you down.”
Jake gives him an impish grin.
“Neteyam, let me give you a word of advice. There are things in this world that are suited well for each other; you and Te'feyra are one of those things. But your heart and your mind are the two most powerful things about you,” he says. “You will not be punished for giving into your heart.”
Neteyam thinks of you. He thinks of your face, the lines of your timid smile, the idents that dimple your cheeks. He thinks of your touch when he's wounded, gentle and expert, warm against his skin. He thinks of your voice, airy, soft, a low rasp.
He thinks of when he'd called you weak. Of your face, wounded and hurt. He's stricken in this moment as he realizes that strength doesn't have to be audacious. It can be quiet, small acts that become mighty.
Tuk had told him about the waterfall, how she'd wanted to pull your leg a little. You'd accepted your fate if Ewya deemed it time, you'd even sent the youngest away in the chance you wouldn't surface.
You were far from weak. Your strength ran nearly as deep as the roots of Ewya herself, yet you'd taken the criticism in stride. Let Neteyam paint you as a coward, a pushover with no spine.
“I think there’s someone you need to clear the air with,” Jake says after a few moments of silence. “She should be in her tent.”
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Neteyam's hands are clammy. It's been nearly a week since he'd last seen you. You'd reserved to spending time inside of your tent to brush up on your studies and refine your work. He'd catch glimpses of you, but you were used to blending in the background and Neteyam's used to overlooking you.
Was he being presumptuous? Maybe you only admired him as a warrior. Or perhaps it was a duty to the clan to revere him. He feels sick to his stomach thinking of confronting you. But Lo'ak wouldn't try to convince him of his own feelings if it wasn't mutual, would he?
And when had the feelings become mutual? He's recently began to think that perhaps he'd always liked you because you were the only one who didn't actively vie for his affection. Who only saw him as Neteyam, an equal, not Neteyam, the Olo’eyktan's son.
Maybe it was whenever he'd see you wandering in the forest during his hunting trips, murmuring to yourself as you picked herbs and flowers for you studies. Or maybe when he'd spot you still high on the branches of the lofty trees with a tablet of paper and ink. Maybe it was when you'd smile at him shyly when he'd adjust your form during archery and it'd melt his insides. Or when you two were little and he'd plucked flowers for everyone and you were the only one who'd smiled at it sticking out of your satchel.
If he recalls correctly, it's pressed to a scroll hanging in your tent and that alone makes his heart race.
Maybe you two are inevitable and he'd only prolonged it because of his own fears.
“Neteyam!”
Te’feyra steps in his line of sight, standing before him and the hometree that houses your tent. He glances away when she stops in front of him.
“Te’feyra,” he greets cordially.
“I haven't seen you since the incident with ________,” she says. “Are you alright?”
Neteyam nods.
“Never better,” he says simply.
“After dinner we should–”
He spots you, satchel thrown over your shoulder. You glance his way momentarily, but scurry in the direction of your tent when you lock eyes with him.
“If you will excuse me, please,” he says politely, extricating himself from Te’feyra to follow after you.
He catches up to you right outside of your tent.
“________!” he calls.
You freeze almost imperceptibly, but continue on your way, climbing the flattened incline spiraling around the center of the hometree.
“________,” he murmurs, fist closing around your skinny bicep.
You jolt to a stop, golden eyes razor sharp as you glance down at him. Your fist is wrapped tight around the strap of the satchel, knuckles stretched taut.
“Neteyam,” you reply softly. “Yes?”
He opens his mouth to say something, but finds that his tongue weighs heavy behind his lips.
“If you seek help, there are elders available for healing,” you inform him, making a move to remove your arm from his grasp.
He instinctively tightens his grasp and you shift uncomfortably.
“Sorry, sorry,” he says quietly, pulling away. “I just want to speak with you.”
A few beats pass as you blink at him.
“Well?”
“Oh,” he swallows. “Can I come in?”
You turn to face the flap of your tent before craning your long neck over your shoulder to nod.
“Sure,” you agree, holding the hide open to let him in.
You step in after him, table scattered with mixtures of finely-pounded dust, scrolls of research and bundles of materials.
You set your satchel down and begin unloading your finds from you excursion.
Meanwhile, Neteyam paces nervously, trailing the circumference of your tent, eyes flitting every which way to take in every piece of you.
A thick silence envelops you and you clear your throat when the satchel is empty.
“You wanted to talk?” you ask, watching as he stops in front of a scrolled tacked to one of the beams.
It's the pressed flower he'd given to you all that time ago as children. It's central in the room, catching the sun so beautifully and Neteyam uses this as the last bit of courage he needs to continue.
“You kept it,” he says, voice shaky.
“Of course,” you say simply, picking through your different finds. “You gave it to me.”
Neteyam turns, looks you head on and he feels his resolve crumbling.
“You like me,” he says bluntly, afraid that if he beats around the bush, he'll cop out.
“Everyone does,” you deflect.
Neteyam's jaw locks.
“No, ________, you like me,” he repeats.
You feel small, sorting the petals by color, fingers nimble against the soft grain of the wooden tabletop.
“Presumptuous,” you hum, unable to meet his piercing gaze.
“________,” he presses.
You bite your lip, tears clouding your vision as your fingers begin to trembling through the sorting. He's being so unfair and he doesn't even know it.
“Why?” you ask shakily.
“What do you mean why?” Neteyam counters, voice taking on the same edge he did with his brother days prior and he'd interrogated him about you.
“Why are you doing this?” you croak, and he hears the tears in your voice.
He's across the floor before you can blink.
“Are you crying?” he asks, shocked.
“Why do you want me to say it so badly?” you choke, poor petals strangled in your vibrating fist. “Is it not enough? To know that I yearn for you silently? That everyone pities me because my heart belongs to someone who's already spoken for?”
Neteyam is stunned.
“I like you, Neteyam. I always have,” you say, voice raw with emotion. “It's my biggest defeat to say I always will. Is that what you want to hear?”
Your eyes are tinged red and his throat feels stuffed with cotton.
“I've always admired you,” you say quietly, between hiccuping breaths. “But I didn’t know you could be so cruel.”
Neteyam winces, every word he’d practiced earlier, completely obliterated from his short term. He knows he should just tell you, tell you that his heart yearns for yours, too. That he'd been too blinded by his impending duty to feel the full effects of what a first love could be like.
“You should go,” you say when he's silent.
You brush your tears away and pat your cheeks dry with the back of your hands as you carefully set the wilted flowers the the edge of the table.
“I–”
“Neteyam, spare me, please.”
“I don’t want to,” he finally says.
Your eyebrows furrow, eyes swollen as you gaze at him unjaded. Who he believed to be so stoic and passive now baring every possible inch to him.
“You're–”
“I don't want to be with Te'feyra,” he finally spits, fists clenched. “I won't be with her.”
Your gaze softens, lips parting to ask what's gotten into him, but he cuts you off.
“You,” he answers firmly, before the question clings in the air. “It’s you. I want to be with you.”
"Stop," you whisper, shaking your head furiously. You take a step away from where he's quickly closing in on you. “Don't–”
He pauses mid-stride and the expression on his handsome face is absolutely devastating. His chest rises and falls shakily and you take a moment to meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t notice it before,” he says desperately, “I was scared and didn't fully realize it, but I do now.”
“That’s unfair,” you hiccup. “This isn't just on your terms. You can’t— you can’t just tell me you like me and expect me to be with you.”
These passing moments are the most he’s ever heard you speak, and he’s afraid that he's severely underestimated you. It doesn’t taste so sweet now that he’s faced with the reality of things.
“You will be the future leader of this clan,” you continue. “That is a great responsibility that you've prepared for your entire life. Who you decide to be with is a permanent fixture that cannot be undone.”
“I know, I know,” he assures you.
“You find it in your heart pity me, Neteyam,” you breathe quietly. “But do you really want to be bonded to someone passive and weak?”
He opens his mouth to argue, but you've squared your shoulders, stomach caving and expanding with a deep breath. You turn to your prior task.
“You should go,” you repeat. “Duty calls.”
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“What do you mean you need help?” Kiri asks incredulously, eyes widened at her older brother.
“________,” Neteyam says. “She's icing me out.”
Kiri's face melts in relief and she scoffs a laugh.
“Do you blame her?”
“Kiri!” he pleads.
Kiri stops her movements, falling back on her haunches to meet Neteyam's desperate gaze. It's so unlike him, being uncertain, nervous. He's picked up the habit of fiddling his fingers and Kiri snorts to herself.
“Actions,” she says simply.
“Huh?” he vocalizes.
“Words mean nothing to ________ if your actions don't support them,” she says. “This entire time you've acted so lukewarm towards her. Of course she won't believe you when you decide to acknowledge that you love her.”
Neteyam's throat bobs as he stares down at his sister.
“And how will I do that?” he presses.
Kiri shrugs.
“Not so mighty warrior now, are we?”
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As the days progress, you begin to grasp at finally coming to terms with the tattered remains of what's left of you and Neteyam's frayed relationship. Your heart hasn't stonewalled him completely, but the yearning for him has dulled to a slight ache.
His eyes are piercing every moment you share the same vicinity. Kiri would even try to argue you that it's longing, but Neteyam's a slave to his honor and you aren't convinced.
“You should pity the poor boy,” an elder tells you as you cut up ingredients for the evening's dinner.
You pause, fingers tightening around the handle of the knife. You roll your lips together before briefly meeting her gaze, warm under firelight.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you deflect, clearing your throat.
She laughs, peeling a purple fruit.
“Neteyam,” she says forwardly. “Hasn’t taken his eyes off you in who knows how long. Will you continue to let him suffer?”
You want to argue that it's you who's suffering. That the heart that beats inside the hollow of your ribcage feels like it'll tear in two every time you recall the venom in Neteyam's voice when he'd called you weak.
“I doubt his suffering has anything to do with me,” you say instead. “We are only acquaintances.”
The elder laughs again.
“Is that why he's been pestering the elders for input on how to sway your heart?”
Your head shoots up from where you've focused on the fine cuts of vegetables.
“What?”
“He’s been slacking on his duties, instead poking around the elders and villagers trying to pry information about you,” she says. “Heard him muttering about what kind of flowers you like.”
“It will take more than flowers to sway my heart,” you mumble.
“So you admit that there's something there, hmm?”
Your cheeks heat, caught like a fish in warm waters.
“I–”
“I'd argue that Neteyam’s liked you longer than you've liked him,” the elder says simply.
You bite.
“Why do you say that?”
“He's always asked Eywa for courage, and it seems like she gave you as an answer.”
The elder climbs to her feet, leaving you near the open flame. You open your mouth to call out to her, but the scent of salt and leaves envelops you before you can say anything.
You crane your neck and find Neteyam a few paces from you.
“Do you have a few moments?” he asks politely.
You want to say no, tell him that you'd offered him an infinite amount of moments that he'd spent building bridges between the two of you, but if he's a slave to his honor, you're bound by heart.
“Okay,” you say hesitantly, abandoning your task.
He holds his hand out for you to take and your fingers slide across his warm palm as he pulls you to your feet. Once he secures your hold in his, he tugs you along.
You don't know where he's taking you, or what he could possibly want with your time, but you feel a thousand times more nervous than ever now that the tangled web of your feelings drapes the both of you.
After a few moments of rugged silence, climbing through bushes and brush, he punctures the quiet.
“Are you well?” he asks.
“Yes,” you answer after a moment. “You?”
“Truthfully?” he responds, pausing to face you. You realize his hand still engulfs yours. “No.”
“No?” you parrot shakily.
“No,” he affirms. “I've been hurting actually.”
Your eyebrows furrow.
“You should seek help if you have an ongoing–”
“Here,” he says, the hand still caught in his being guided to lay flat against his chest. You can feel his heart hammering behind his ribcage. “It hurts here.”
You swallow, pulling away from his grasp when you realize his insinuation.
“Don’t,” you warn.
He breathes a shaky sigh before taking a step towards you. He's corded muscle and warmth as his palm comes to cradle your jaw. Your bottom lip twitches as you stare up at him.
“It’s always been you,” he says quietly, thumb brushing your chin as his eyes map every curve of your face. “I think I’ve always known it deep down, but...”
Your hand comes up to meet his, gently prying his touch away.
“Neteyam,” you sigh. “Had the last few days unfolded differently, I don't think you'd been saying this now.”
“Maybe not now,” he agrees. “But one day, I would. I know I would. Because when I recall every fond moment, you’re there. No matter how close to the background you get, you’re always there.”
You look skeptical, and Neteyam knows he's losing you. So he digs in the small knapsack he has slung over his broad shoulders and pulls out something thin.
When he holds it up with shaky fingers, your breath catches in your throat. Strung through the taut brown of tree vine is a line of beads identical to the one that he wears on a braid tucked behind his ear. Upon closer inspection, you notice the blue and purple beads formed to create your favorite flowers.
“Wha—”
“Until you decide you want to be mine,” he says, voice trembling nervously as he takes your arm and gently slides the band up until it fits snuggly around your bicep. “So that you remember I'm always yours.”
Your voice is caught in your throat as he brings your fingers up to his lips.
“I won’t push you,” he says when he realizes your words have evaded you. “But I’ll wait for you.”
“Neteyam–”
He simply smiles at you, golden eyes shy as he takes a step back to admire his handiwork. He seems satisfied, triumphant, when you eye the band but make no moves to remove it.
“I’ll wait for you,” he repeats, giving your fingers a squeeze before running off.
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“He did what?” Lo’ak shrills a week later.
The younger three Sully's had hunted you down and brought you to the clearing dedicated to archery training.
Slender fingers wrap around your wrist and elbow to turn your arm to examine the band with wide eyes.
You can’t help but smile gently to yourself, watching the way the sun catches the reflection of the pearlescent beads and reflects them brightly.
“I knew that dummy was planning something,” Kiri grumbles. You bite your lip when she meets your gaze. “Well?”
“Well what?” you ask, arm still in Lo’ak’s grasp.
He twists playfully and your laugh glitters in the air.
"Are you going to put my knucklehead brother out of his misery or what?" Kiri hisses, arm drawing to shoot a arrow that stabs the target about a centimeter too left.
Tuk giggles as she runs up to the target to examine the damage.
“Yeah, please do, he's in love and it's disgusting,” Lo'ak grumbles, still eyeing the cuff.
Your heart skips at the mention of love, cheeks going warm when both Kiri and Lo'ak notice how you've gone quiet. They begin laughing, dealing you playful punches.
“Stop that,” you scold, swatting their hands away. “I haven’t given him an answer yet.”
“Oh, get real!” Kiri huffs. “You are so in love, you know you'll say yes.”
“Please put me out of my misery,” Lo'ak moans. “I'm tired of being his therapist because he's a little bitch.”
“Lo'ak,” you warn, eyes narrowing.
He giggles and Kiri stifles a laugh as you flounder, cheeks blooming under the siblings' teasing.
“You are both so awful,” you say petulantly, arms crossing one over the other. “How are you so sure I’ll return his feelings?”
It's Kiri's turn to groan, eyes rolling.
“Sure enough that I know if I let you in on a little secret, it'll light a fire under your ass,” she says seriously.
Your spine goes rigid, arms loosening as you wait with bated breath.
“Neteyam may choose you, but if you don’t choose him back quickly enough, someone could swoop in and claw that chance from you,” she shrugs.
Te'feyra's name is an ugly insinuation and something green coils its way into the pit of your stomach as you recall the chaste kiss she'd pressed to Neteyam's lips all those nights ago in the forest.
“Gears turning?” Lo'ak lilts.
They definitely are and suddenly you feel small, digging your big toe into the dirt to drag lines through the forest floor. You nod hesitantly, band suddenly tight around your bicep.
In your ruminating, Lo'ak and Kiri pass a knowing glance.
“Well?” Lo'ak prods.
You fidget, rattling with nerves.
“I suppose...”
Lo'ak sighs and his hands come down on your shoulders to steer you through the clearing.
“Where are we going?” you squeak.
“To put everyone out of their misery,” Lo'ak huffs.
The forest seems way more alive than usual, glowing so bright it almost overpowers the sun. Woodsprites gather around as Lo'ak nudges you through the thick foliage and you can't help but think about the sweet smile that curled on Neteyam's lips as he assured you that he was yours. All yours.
The fire crackles in the distance and you know that the morning meal is in the works when voices roar quietly meters away.
Neteyam sits near the center, surrounded by elders and the dreaded girl.
Te'feyra's obliterated every single centimeter of space available, nearly melded to his side as the elders talk animatedly over the two.
You want to turn back, uncertainty vice-like, but Lo'ak squeezes your shoulders as a silent plea. Not even a moment passes before Neteyam peels himself away and begins putting distance between them.
When Te'feyra gives him a curious glance, he gives her an uneasy smile.
“Be courageous, ________,” Lo'ak encourages. “You're one of the strongest people I know.”
With a final pat on the back, he pushes you towards the circle and the sudden movement catches everyone's gaze.
“________,” one of the elders calls fondly.
You smile and bow your head, fingers twitching at your sides.
“Hello,” you greet quietly, eyes swooping hesitantly to Neteyam who rises to his feet, already watching you intently.
That's when you notice it, the choker fastened around his throat. The vine is identical to yours, but it's strung with a line of beads that mirror the ones woven into a singular braid at the nape of your neck.
You hadn't realized that he'd noticed it all this time, but it's the ultimate confirmation that Neteyam sees you. And when he notices that you notice, he smiles softly.
The elders notice as well, drawing the link between your arm band and the necklace that Neteyam wears, now that you two stand opposite each other.
“May I borrow Neteyam for a moment?” you ask politely.
The same elder you prepared with the evening prior gleams a wide smile when Neteyam takes a step towards you, fingers brushing delicately with yours.
Te'feyra remains seated, lips twitching as her gaze flits between the two of you.
“By all means,” one of them says. “Take your time.”
You bow your head again, heart thudding when Neteyam's fingers twine with yours and he lets you drag him out of the circle and deeper into the forest.
When you deem that no prying eyes or ears surround you, you stop, Neteyam bumping softly into your back. The hair on the back of your neck bristle when he makes no moves to extricate himself from you, simply moving your braids from your face to reveal the string of beads tucked near the nape of your neck.
“You needed me?” he whispers, fingers still ghosting the skin of shoulder.
You swallow, squeezing your eyes shut as you relish the moment. Your fingers are still locked and for a fleeting second, you pretend that it's always been like this, the two of you.
“I am nothing extraordinary,” you start, and Neteyam's fingertips pause at your elbow.
“I'd argue differently,” he responds.
“I value time alone and I get overwhelmed often,” you continue.
“We all have our moments,” is his rebuttal as the hand covering yours squeezes gently.
You sigh.
“I could—”
Neteyam turns you and you're met with the the choker, beads glinting under the light. Your eyes drag up the column of his strong neck, flit past his soft lips and finally lock with his searing gaze.
“You can try all you want to run me off,” Neteyam laughs quietly, cupping your jaw. “But I'm not scared anymore.”
Your expression is skeptical and Neteyam decides to bite the bullet. He's closing in on you and your heart pounds violently in your chest.
“Neteyam,” you whisper weakly, hand coming up to his chest.
He traps your fingers against his heart, lips slotting between yours before you can protest some more.
It's like the forest comes alive around you, grass tickling between your toes as you melt under his touch and lean up into his mouth.
His hands are everywhere at once, branding your cerulean skin as he kisses you like it's your last moments. There's no hesitation, no feeling it out, just his warm breath and his soft lips as he pulls you impossibly closer.
“I'll take you as you are at any moment,” he says breathlessly between kisses. “You just have to say you want me back, ________. Please.”
You nod, nose brushing against his as one of his palms splay at the small of your back and the other grabs your chin, pulling you back to plant another burning kiss on your lips.
“Say it,” he begs.
Your eyes begin to mist as you nod again eagerly, parting for a moment to whisper the words.
“I'm yours,” you hoarse, hands on either side of his neck. “I'm yours if you'll be with me.”
Neteyam simply kisses you again, a satisfied hum rumbling from his built chest.
“Fucking finally,” a whisper sounds from the brush.
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A LIL' BONUS
“You think they would have figured it out on their own?” Lo'ak asks, wolfing down his food.
Kiri shrugs, feeding Tuk a piece of fruit from her wooden plate.
“Maybe,” she says, unable to suppress her proud grin. “Maybe not. They're both stupid."
“I think so,” Te'feyra laughs watching you and Neteyam fondly from across the fire. “They were a long time coming.”
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an – thank you SO much if you've made it this far! again, leave a request or let's chat hehehe. up next is lo'ak so stay tuned! :)
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neng © 2023
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"You can't pretend he's perfect just because he's your favorite character."
He isn't. That's the beauty of it.
James potter is absolutely wreckless. He does dumb shit that annoys everyone around him. He frequently neglects himself so bad and he gets downright mean when anyone tries to say anything about it. James potter is stupidly frustrating, gullible and loud. James potter is jealous. He has crippling FOMO. James potters diet is either red bull and trollis sour gummi worms or nothing at all. James potter cries when he watches TV shows but doesn't cry when his grandparents die. James potter is a BABY when he's sick. James potter is weird and he's sensitive and he's also emotionally unavailable and I love him.
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lancermylove · 1 month
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Dark Side of Dating Him (HC)
Fandom: Obey Me
Pairing: Demons x gn!Reader
Warning: The warnings vary depending on the demon, but nothing too severe.
A/N: This is the dark side, so proceed with caution. If you guys like this HC, I can write one slightly darker and more situational.
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Lucifer
Due to his pride, he may be emotionally distant and will not admit to mistakes easily. This could lead to a lack of a deep emotional connection.
He can be dominating and demanding, and at times, he may come off as if he is dictating the relationship. Lucifer likes and wants things to go his way, so compromising is difficult for him.
The Avatar of Pride is known for perfection, so his expectations are high for himself and for you. This could lead to a lot of mental pressure for you if you don't strive for perfection or are not meticulous.
Lucifer likes to maintain his appearance, dress well, and keep himself well-groomed. He expects the same from his partner, so if you like dressing down or prefer comfortable clothes, it may become an issue.
Due to his intimidating nature, it may be difficult to open up to him. Moreover, he tries to be understanding, but he isn't openly empathetic. So, he may come off as emotionally unavailable. At times, he might also come off as insensitive when you are being emotional, and Lucifer tells you to be mature and learn how to handle your emotions. He means well, but his way of saying it will be too straightforward.
Whether you like it or not, you will end up being roped into helping take care of his brothers. Due to Lucifer's busy schedule, you will most likely end up taking care of everyone by yourself most of the time.
Lucifer is busy, so he won't have much time to spend with you. Sometimes, even if you are married to him, you might feel lonely.
Mammon
Say goodbye to your money because Mammon will 'borrow' it if needed. He might gamble it off and recklessly spend it, and there is also a very slim chance that he will pay it back.
Mammon gets easily jealous and won't like it if you spend too much time around other men, especially if he feels threatened by them. There may also be a bit of possessiveness involved.
Due to his sensitive nature, he might complain to you endlessly and use you as an emotional dump at times. He doesn't mean to, but he can't control himself, especially if Mammon is overloaded or stressed.
He isn't the smartest or sharpest demon, so there will be times when you will have to explain things to him in detail for him to understand. His initial reaction to your emotions may come off as insensitive as he may make casually straightforward statements (that he actually doesn't mean).
His need for greed might put you in dangerous situations; for example, he might carelessly say he will hand you over to his witch friends if he can't pay back their debt. Will he actually hand you over? No, but the witches might hunt you. Debt collectors might also come after you. You will also have to hear, "Mammon took my money. Pay it back, or get him to pay it back."
Mammon sometimes finds it difficult to take things seriously. He gets uncomfortable during serious discussions and tries to avoid them, so sitting down with him and having a long, mature discussion is nearly impossible.
His things belong to him, his brothers' things belong to him, and your things also belong to him. You will definitely find your belongings missing. More often than not, his excuse will be, ' He needed to get out of debt.'
Levi
As the Avatar of Envy, Levi will be jealous of everything. You get lucky, he will be envious. You laugh and have a good time with someone, he will be jealous. You achieve something, and Levi will be happy for you but will be envious. This may lead him to experience mood swings and possibly push you away for a short period every time.
If you are social, Levi will sometimes feel suffocated by your need to constantly spend time with others and go to parties/events. Even if you invite him, he won't come along. In a sense, he expects you to be as introverted as him and spend most of your time with him.
Even if you reassure him that you love him, there will almost always be moments when he experiences an inferiority complex. This leads to emotional withdrawal and might even lead to him projecting his insecurities on you.
Due to his obsession with gaming and anime, he might neglect the relationship for daily runs and episodes or binge-watching. If you join him, great, more time together. But if you want him to do something you like, it will be difficult to convince him.
Most of all, if you tell him any of this, he will not take the criticism well. Levi is very sensitive, and if you point out his flaws, Levi will immediately categorize it as 'you don't understand him.'
Due to his insecurities, he might become clingy or overly dependent on you for many things. One habit you will have to develop is constantly reassuring him that he is good enough for you and that you love him.
Satan
The Avatar of Wrath has wrath issues, so expect sudden and unpredictable outbursts. Though Satan will never want to harm you, if his blind rage activates, he might unintentionally hurt you while breaking things around him.
If you do or say anything that rubs him the wrong way, he will hold grudges. Just ask Lucifer. That grudge will not go away easily, which might strain your relationship. To tie in with this, he doesn't forgive easily.
There will be times when Satan will want to spend time alone with his beloved books. Even if you want to spend time with him, he might say no. Satan values his alone time just as much as he values spending time with you.
If you get into an argument with Satan, things will escalate, and it might incur his wrath. At that point, he will be destructive and even possibly attack you. He doesn't mean to, but blind rage hinders his thoughts.
His directness, mixed with his intelligence, can come off as cold and ruthless. While he can process emotions, Satan thinks more logically, so his mind will react before his heart.
Even if you have nothing against Lucifer, you will always have to side with Satan, even if he is in the wrong. If you, even accidentally, say that Lucifer is right, Satan will get angry. He might take it overly personally and distance himself from you.
Asmo
Asmo's love for himself is a mix between insecurity and narcissism. You will have to feed both of those sides by constantly validating how beautiful he is and flatter him whenever he needs you to, even when he doesn't need it.
He is friendly with everyone. He flirts with everyone, even if he is dating you. It's just part of who he is. But if you get overly close to someone else, Asmo will be jealous.
Being the Avatar of Lust, desire runs high. If you value monogamy, there will be issues. Asmo needs attention constantly, and he will get it from whoever is willing to give it to him.
This need for constant attraction will lead to a need for high physical intimacy. At any given moment, Asmo could need you, and if you are not available or don't want to, he will throw tantrums and go to another person.
Physical beauty is important to him, so he will need a partner who equally maintains their beauty. If you let go of yourself or stop caring, Asmo will no longer be attracted to you. He will break up with you.
He has no boundaries. If you are secretive or value privacy, you will have trouble with Asmo's constant need to share everything on social media without limits. He might actually end up sharing personal things that you won't want him to tell others.
Beel
His constant need to eat could rub off on you, and you could end up eating excessively. There will be times when Beel will also force you to eat, and if you say no, he might get upset, as sharing food is one way of showing his love.
There is a high chance that most of your money might end up being spent after Beel's gluttonous tendencies. At times, you might end up in trouble if you can't pay off his bills. Be prepared to wash a few dishes or so.
Since his family has been through a lot, Beel might be overly protective of you. He is not trying to be dominating, but he doesn't want you to get hurt, so he might just follow you around everywhere or forbid you from going somewhere. His fear of losing someone else is still weighing on his heart.
You will have to give in to Belphie's wishes, no questions asked. If Beel learns that you upset his twin or said something to hurt him, he will be very sad and distance himself from you. Moreover, just to date him, you will need Belphie's approval.
Since Beel doesn't understand many things, there will be times when you have to explain situations to him like you would to a child. This could lead to frustration, especially if you are not feeling emotionally or mentally well.
Belphie
The Avatar of Sloth is lazy, so there will be times when he will not actively participate in the relationship. Sometimes, you might feel like you are talking to a wall and are in a one-sided relationship.
Also, due to his laziness, you will most likely have to take over his responsibilities and be responsible for him. You might have to constantly wake him up and remind him of studying, tests, homework, chores, and so on. This could also lead to Belphie becoming completely dependent on you, asking you to do this and that for him.
You will have to get along with Beel. Even if Beel does something wrong, you will have to take his side for Belphie's sake.
If you have long, emotional conversations with him when you are not doing well, you might just end up realizing he fell asleep halfway through the conversations. His sleep spells come and go as they please.
If you are adventurous and active, you might find it difficult to be around Belphie as he will not want to go anywhere with you or not move much. Most of your dates will be at home, where he is curled up to you and probably asleep.
His laziness might rub off on you, leading you to live a more lethargic lifestyle. This could impact your personal growth and goals.
Diavolo
Unless you are royalty yourself, there will be a huge power imbalance, and this, at times, could cause you to feel overwhelmed or overshadowed.
As a prince, Diavolo has high expectations for himself and for his partner. You will have to follow every rule, behave properly, and dress royally; you are expected to uphold a certain image and take responsibility. If you are not up for this, no matter how much Diavolo loves you, he won't be able to continue the relationship with you.
Much like Diavolo is currently experiencing, you will have to face public scrutiny. The residents of Devildom will constantly subject you to their opinions and judgments. Some will be rude, while others will make fun of you or say you are not worthy - you will have to face all of it for your sake and the prince's sake.
With all the responsibilities and duties, Diavolo will not have much time for you. This could lead to you feeling neglected, but it is out of Diavolo's hands since he has to take care of a realm.
Due to his status and position, there will always be enemies lurking around, which could put you in danger. For this reason, Diavolo will be very strict with you about following rules and regulations, such as not stepping out without a bodyguard.
Your relationship will not have much privacy as everywhere you go, everything you do will become news. Your entire life will be for the public of Devildom to view as they please.
Barbatos
Barbatos is known for having a lot of secrets; moreover, since he works with Diavolo, he is expected to maintain secrecy and discretion. There will be many things you won't know about him and many things he will never tell you. You are not allowed to poke your nose into his secret, or he will be forced to end things with you. In fact, when you start dating him, this will be one of his requirements.
His priority is and always will be Diavolo. Barbatos has sworn unwavering loyalty to the prince, and even if you are married to him, he will always give Diavolo's needs more attention. At extreme levels, in case there is an attack on the castle, Barbatos will be responsible for saving the prince before you. But he will clarify all of this before he agrees to date you.
The butler is a master at playing mind games, so there might be times when he mentally manipulates you without you even realizing it. If you pick up on it, this could lead to trust issues. Moreover, he has the power to alter timelines, so who knows which timeline the two of you are currently in and how many other outcomes came before this one?
Barbatos does not openly display emotions; even his emotions are calculated, and he only reveals what he wants to reveal. You will never understand his motives either. In a sense, you won't ever meet the real Barbatos as he will never show you or anyone else that self.
Due to his duties, he won't be able to reserve much time for you. This could lead to loneliness or even a strain in the relationship. He might even have to miss important dates and events for the sake of his duties.
Barbatos is good at everything, and while he will never make you feel like you are less, it could lead to insecurities. You might find yourself asking, 'Am I good enough for him' more than you expect. If you ask him, he will always say yes, but ultimately, you will have to arrive at the answer yourself.
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➣ Obey Me Masterlist: [1][2][3] ➣ Main Masterlist
➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open ➣ HC/Scenario Requests: Closed || Quick Ask Requests: Closed || GIF Requests: Closed
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lazycats-stuff · 2 months
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What about Batfam x male reader where the reader was actually the first child Bruce adopted and he was the practice child. He hated growing io because Bruce had really no idea what to do and then the other kids came along and now Bruce kinda understood what to do. He hates family time because he never felt like family, he was just some doll the others could practice on so later they wouldn't make mistakes. And i imagine at some point they snap. I feel like what if Damian brought over Jon for dinner and Jon was like "oh I thought Dick's the oldest, you never told me about (reader)" and reader just slams down their fist and goes to their room. At this point the rest of the family try to comfort them but the reader only screams about how they never were a son or bother, they were only a practice doll for them to use and then throw away
This has angst written all over it... Ah. Angst train it seems... Also, I think I changed the end a bit, but that's fine...
Summary: (Y/N) was nothing but a test child for Bruce. He finally lets them have it
Warnings: angst, resentment, author sucks at angst, but hey, I tried, yelling, mentions of anxiety, the fam is trying, (Y/N) is mad beyond belief, implications of child neglect... If you can call it child neglect.
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(Y/N) (L/N) was the oldest member of the Wayne family and the first child that Bruce had adopted. (Y/N) didn't have a good life at all before he met Bruce. (Y/N) could also argue that Bruce didn't treat him well as well, since being emotionally unavailable is not a good trait to have when you have children.
As the years went by, he hated growing up in the manor and with Bruce. He had food, a roof over his head and some sort of education. But that wasn't enough. The feeling of resentment that (Y/N) had has only grown as the years went by.
The feeling of being a test to Bruce, to see what he need to improve made his blood boil. He was a test pancake for Bruce and some sort of feedback to Bruce. It made (Y/N) mad beyond. Bruce could have gotten his shit straight when he started to have him as his legal child.
(Y/N) wished that he could forget everything about Bruce. About the family too. Even before Dick came, resentment building up in him nearly exploded. Looking back, he should have exploded on Bruce and Dick... Maybe even punch them. Maybe he should have done it.
When Dick came, (Y/N) saw signs that Bruce was improving, but he didn't show that to (Y/N). Years went by and Damian came. To say that Damian pretended that (Y/N) didn't exist is an understatement. (Y/N) tried to get closer to Damian, but Damian always pushed him away. (Y/N) took the signs and gave up, sadness and anger boiling inside of him. But he did observe Damian and Dick. In matter of a few days, they were close.
Dick did it without even trying.
So, (Y/N) has decided to alienate himself from the family, at least until he gets enough money to leave. Thankfully, the resentment towards Bruce and the rest of the family made him even put everything he had in school, even though no one cared about it. He had straight As and he was on his way to go to college that was far away from here. He knows that he can do it.
Even as Tim and Jason came, (Y/N) tried to be close to them, but none of them cared. None. (Y/N)'s solace became his own room and would avoid the family at all costs until it was time to eat where he had to step out. That only solidified the fact that he was going to leave as soon as possible.
Either way, he just had to alienate himself and move out. Then, everyone in the house would be happy.
However, everything would turn on its head when Damian would bring his boyfriend Jon over to meet the family and by default (Y/N). If only (Y/N) knew what would happen.
Dinner rolled around and came down to eat. He didn't expect to see Jon, but was nice to introduce himself to Jon, trying to be nice and just get this stupid dinner over with. He put some food on his plate and just ate in silence while everyone else talked.
He listened to bits and pieces and just stayed silent. He finished his plate quickly and pushed it away and sipped at his water, just being polite and getting ready to leave back at his room.
" Damian, you didn't tell me anything about (Y/N)... I thought that Dick was oldest of the brothers. " Jon said and (Y/N) froze.
Damian didn't tell Jon about him...
(Y/N)'s anger boiled over and he slammed his fist into the table before standing up quickly, knocking the chair over. Everyone got startled at the actions and watched in silence as (Y/N) left the dining room.
After a few seconds they all jumped into action, trying to stop (Y/N) to comfort him. (Y/N) slammed the door of his room shut, locking to make sure no one could enter, before he broke down on his bed. He hugged his pillow and sobbed into it.
It shouldn't hurt like this. He should have been stronger than this. Not cry over them.
" (Y/N), please open the door. " Bruce said through the door.
" Please, we just want to talk. " Dick added and (Y/N) snapped at that, anger boiling over once again.
" Talk?! TALK?! Stop acting like you care! " (Y/N) yelled at the top of his lungs.
" We do care. " Jason started.
" You don't give a single flying damn about me! I was never a son or a brother to anyone! I was only a test toy to Bruce so he could see what he could fucking improve! I was never a fucking brother either! Damian fucking proved it! " (Y/N) yelled at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face.
Everyone stayed silent and (Y/N) sobbed his heart out. Damian swallowed hardly, realizing what he did and how that hurt (Y/N) deeply. Maybe he shouldn't have...
Everyone glanced at each other. They stayed silent as they listened to (Y/N)'s sobs. Just how much pain did they brought up onto him?
" (Y/N), look- " Bruce started and (Y/N) screamed again.
" Don't you dare care right now! I'm moving out in a few days anyway and I don't need your pity or apology! " (Y/N) yelled, trying to wipe the never ending stream of tears.
" Moving out?! " Bruce yelled, eyes wide in shock. He know he has no right to tell (Y/N) what to do, but something flared up in Bruce. " No, you're not moving out! You are going to stay put because we have to solve this problem! "
" Are you shitting me Bruce?! Work things out?! "
" I'm not shitting you! I have to make things right with you! You are my son too! " Bruce yelled through the door.
" I don't give a single damn about any of you! "
Bruce took a deep breath, trying not to explode. He knows he has no right to be angry, but (Y/N) was still his son. " (Y/N), I am your dad and we will solve this problem. "
" We won't solves shit Bruce! "
" (Y/N), please, " Tim started, but (Y/N) cut him off. " Shut up Tim! "
Tim bit the inside of his cheek and stepped back.
" (Y/N), " Jason started, " You need to calm down, you'll give yourself a heart attack. "
(Y/N) wanted to scream even more, but he felt like he was going to die from this situation.
" Shut up, all of you! "
Now Dick started. " (Y/N), we may have been bad brothers- "
" May have?! You were- No, you are the worst brothers! " (Y/N) yelled and clenched his fists as he started facing around the room.
Dick sighed and stepped back. At the moment, everyone knew that (Y/N) talking to them without yelling at them and more importantly, he needed to calm down first.
But with how much anger and resentment there is, it is going to take a while.
" Lets leave (Y/N) alone for a while. He needs to be alone for now. " Bruce said and gently moved everyone away from (Y/N)'s doors, who was inside, trying to breathe more normally. He felt like he was going to jump out of his skin in the next few moments. He calmed down after a while, but he was still anxious beyond belief.
Unfortunately, the threat of moving out is just a threat and not a promise. (Y/N) sighed as he sat down on his bed. It was a stupid move to say that while he didn't have everything secure yet. Stupid.
(Y/N) went to the bathroom and washed his face and drank some water, to soothe his soon to be sore throat. It won't be nice to talk in a few hours.
Either way, it's better than leaving this room in order to face his siblings and dad. No, they are just roommates here, until (Y/N) can move out and just finally cut them out of his life.
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a-hazbin-reader · 4 months
Text
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic ❌️Platonic
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TW: Implied Abuse, Murder, Implied Gore, Period Typical Treatment of Women, Implied Sewerslide
Description: Alastor X Singer!Crime Family!reader who has known him in life and death and what their complicated relationship might be like, as canon compliant as I can bring myself to be
You grew up in crime family with an emotionally unavailable mother and violent dismissive father
Sure you were well fed, well dressed,well protected(despite the socially acceptable beatings from your parents) and educated but you were in a prison all of your own
You were your family's precious songbird with a voice like no other and a cage of steel around you, you often had small shows in clubs, bars, wherever your father could make it happen
Your father loved showing you off to his associates, friends, anybody who would listen really, in those moments you were his little girl who could do no wrong
Behind closed doors however
Because of your father's bragging all of his gross old friends took an unnecessary interest in you as well
Also did you know you're engaged to some brute who's nearly twice your age?? Some radio show producer who's had 3 wives before you and more women on his arm than you can count
But it's fine, you're fine
Is what you tell yourself until one day your fiance takes you to a radio station so you can sing there and you hear a familiar voice in one of the radio booths
Nofuckingwayisthatwhoyouthinkitisohfuckitshimitshim
You couldn't resist listening to one of your favorite radio hosts live but you also didn't want to interrupt so you stood and watched from afar as Alastor worked his magic
He was more handsome and magnetic in person, it was so unfair, you were completely entranced by him
Don't worry he noticed you too, amused by your gooey awestruck gaze
You could've stayed and listened to the whole show if your fiance hadn't suddenly yanked you away by your arm, reminding you that you were also here to work
You have a small wave and mouthed "big fan" as you were pulled away, ecstatic as Alastor gave a slick smile back
Now it was his turn to be intrigued, finishing up his show and exiting his booth to go and find where his delicious looking little fan went
Only to find himself happily surprised by your singing, deciding to sit and stay on his break, listening in appreciation for your voice
After that you two simply clicked, drawn to each other even if you both didn't understand it
You sneaking off every chance you could to talk and spend time with him and Alastor perking up anytime his door opened
It escalates from there, Alastor secretly sending you flowers/letters/anything you even glance at, you reciprocating by leaving little gifts/letters on his desk. The two of you having discreet rendezvous at night
It wasn't romantic at all and you two weren't in love, just really good friends
Who sometimes had moments of intimacy like snuggling, touching foreheads after a long embrace, a dozen almost kisses, a few kiss kisses
And when you inevitably found out that he's a cannibalistic serial killer he was worried he would have to hurt you, worried that you would be disgusted in him. That you wouldn't want to see him again
Imagine Alastor's surprise when you just sigh and start helping him clean his mess, almost nonchalant with the gore until you explain that your family has a violent history
Okay so maybe it's love maybe it's not, you two don't put a label on it or even discuss it really, you just enjoy the moment
Alastor hates your fiance, he hates that he doesn't treasure you, that he openly cheats on you, that he's rough with you, that he thinks he owns you
Safe to say that your fiance and Alastor hate each other but that's just fine because you hate your fiance too
Things were blissful between you two and you were even discussing running away together, your family and fiance starting to catch on to the relationship
You and Alastor began to finalize plans, picking a day to meet up and start your new lives
Except Alastor dissappears suddenly and doesn't return any of your letters, doesn't show up for his radio show and you can't find him
And one day you're caught by your father and fiance,checking Alastor's radio booth again, the two of them taunting you by telling you Alastor took a bribe and ditched you
You're forced to marry your fiance less than a month later, only making it a little longer before you take your own life, drowning in heartbreak and rage at the betrayal
You're not surprised when you find yourself in hell but damn it still feels like a punch to a gut
You know Alastor is there too, you know who this rising radio demon is but you don't want anything to do with him, you're still so angry
And he's angry at you too, thinking you moved on from him so easily, hurt that you never even looked for him(He's 100% creating scenarios in his head and hurting himself)
So it takes quite awhile before you two even cross paths, let alone hash things out, like a years and years sort of thing
Expect a lot of run ins that end in snarky comments and unnecessary romantic/sexual tension
It's not until one particularly explosive argument that you two realize that you've been getting the truth mixed up
But once it's settled then it's like nothing ever changed, except that you two have way more time together and you don't have to sneak around anymore
It's an open secret that you two are together even though neither of you have confirmed it or even put a label on it
You just always happen to be on his arm, canoodling at every chance and backing each other up in fights(verbal or physical). Every successful fight is rewarded with eskimo kisses
But you two are definitely practically husband and wife, a power couple even
But then one day he dissappears again
WHY
Maybe you two had a fight before he dissappears and he storms off for a walk. Maybe not
And then seven years go by and you fear that somehow you've lost him again, but for good this time
So you spend that time quietly mourning him and struggling to move on
You don't even find out he's back again until you hear him back in his radio tower, fighting with Vox
🙄😏 that man...
You're not even mad that he hasn't come to see you yet, simply relieved that he's alive and back
Okay you're a little mad, a little hurt
You're calm when you find out he's staying at some new hotel instead of coming back home, coming back to you
Okay you're not exactly calm, your friends would say you're simply hysterical behind closed doors
So you're livid when you find out he's staying with Lucifer's daughter and her friends because it's so obviously just a power grab for him
Fine
You definitely don't go over and cause a scene but you definitely do corner him at some point and let him have it
He's so fucking happy to see you that he's not even paying attention to what you're yelling about or why you're crying. He just pulls you in for a long hug, shutting you up with a rough kiss.
No you're not cupping each other's cheeks, foreheads pressed together as he apologizes over and over again for leaving you again
He won't do it again, not if he can help it
You find out that he's managed to dig himself a hole with a bad deal but that's about all you can figure out and he can't exactly tell you
But you manage to find it in yourself to forgive him(it's hard to stay mad at him), accepting that his time and attention have to be somewhere else for now
Then there's another extermination and one of your friends tell you to check the tv(something you probably don't normally do)
The moment you see Alastor facing off against Adam you're off, fighting and racing to get to him, to help him but he's gone by the time you get there. Lucifer and his daughter fighting him
But you know he's not dead this time, he wouldn't leave you again, not a third time
He promised
So you find him panicking in his busted radio tower and hold him until he calms down, promising that you two will find a way out of his deal
Maybe just hold his head to your chest and stroke his hair a little longer?
You were both reluctant to break apart, Alastor genuinely seeming remorseful as he nuzzles your forehead, telling you that he will visit you soon, that he's sorry for everything
Still he smiles 🙃
When he leaves to go back to the hotel you find yourself more tempted than ever to follow him, your heart aching to be near him again already
Maybe you should check in or at least offer to work there, they don't have an entertainer yet, do they?
Alastor when you show up:
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"Darling, what are you doing here?"
I HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM OKAY!?
Bonus! Charlie when she finds out about Alastor's boo:
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akazzzaa · 3 months
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Were / are they a Virgin?
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Summery- Where they a virgin when they where humans? are they still ?
Genre- Smut. MDNI
Warnings- Talks of sex, masturbation.
Human Muzan
Was a virgin- He didn’t get married. He had a wealthy family but never found a wife. He was born with a frail body so even if he did have a wife-he couldn't. Or at least it would be very bad experience putting sex off for him. Although he never had a big “desire” to have sex- he still was curious about it and often masturbated as a human.
Demon Muzan
Not a virgin- Don't really need to explain- but he's had sex a lot. He likes it, but can live without it. He has other things to focus on so he doesn't seek sex a lot. Sex does come naturally to him though anyway. He's a 'young' good looking man after all. Who often manipulates women and people to get what he wants. If he has to play Husband and a Oiran, he will.
He has also had sex in his female form.
Human Kokushibo
Not a virgin-His first and last was with his wife. He had a duty as a man to produce heirs and that was it to him. He did like sex, but was very insecure. He was emotionally unavailable I suppose, and never expressed himself.
Demon kokushibo
Virgin. He remembers his past life and know how sex works, but he doesn’t see humans as equals- only as cattle. He’s not opposed to it though, he’s seen plenty of humans that are pleasing to the eye and would like to indulge in. But never acted on it.
Human Douma
Not a virgin. Was never married or had plans to - but he was good looking and had different features that made him more 'exotic' so a lot of people where curious, and so was he. He didn't have a lot of sex due to being so busy - only problem he faced was that people fell in love with him after they had sex. He never felt that.
Daemon Douma
Not a virgin. He has toyed with men and women and finds it entertaining, plus it does feels good. People who have had sex with him don't really live to tell anyone else. There are a few who live. Doesn't actively seek sex but he can tell when a humans wants him. He will also use the art of seduction to get what he wants too.
Human Akaza
Virgin. He was planning on marring Koyuki and was waiting for their special night. He never thought he would- having tattoos of a criminal over his body has made him feel worthless so he had a lot of doubt about finding love. Him and Koyuki had kissed a lot but that's as far as it went.
Demon Akaza
Double virgin. He never feels the desire for sex. He only wants to get stronger. All he does is follows Muzans orders, train and eat.
Human Hantengu
Not a virgin- Has had wife's. No idea if any kids have come out of it but there where attempts.
Demon Hantengu
Virgin? Maybe the lust clone has had sex but the other clones and himself? Virgins.
Human Gyokko
Virgin
Demon Gyokko
DOUBLE VIRGIN
Human Gyutaro
Virgin. Women would scream at the sight of him. Not only because he was ugly but had bad hygiene, malnourished and weak. He was fighting everyday of his life. Never thought about it.
Demon Gyutaro
Virgin. Only as a demon he got curious and had the desire for it, he hasn't tried to have sex cause he know he will just get laughed at which will result in someone's death.
Human Nakime
Not a virgin. She had a husband in her human life but never had kids with him.
Demon Nakime
Virgin. Doesn't have the desire to have sex.
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hobiebrownismygod · 7 months
Text
Headcanon that Hobie Brown struggles with conveying his emotions/is emotionally unavailable
When we were introduced to Hobie, he seemed like a very outgoing, funny guy who's friends with the optimistic, friendly Spider-man India, and we assume that he's the same way, what with all the jokes he makes, the slightly high-pitched voice and the vibrant color-changing nature of his animation. However, when he takes his mask off, he immediately reverts to a deeper tone of voice, no longer cracking as many jokes, not really expressing any visible emotions. He keeps a straight face for most of the movie, only managing a smirk or a slight smile when talking to Miles. He doesn't talk much, and all his lines have a deeper meaning behind them or a specific goal in mind.
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"eh what of it?"
This scene specifically is what fuels this headcanon. We see all of the Spider-men reflecting over their canons, showing visible anguish at these past events, ex. Peter B. Parker looking away from Miles and kissing Mayday on the forehead, and Jess Drew adding on her little "and me" when Miles asks if the canon happened to them.
However, Hobie seems to be looking at the canon event with a completely straight face, showing very little emotion at the death of his police captain. Now its completely plausible that since he is most obviously ACAB, he killed his police captain himself and doesn't feel much guilt for his death, but if we look closely, he does look a little sad before he turns his attention back to Miles. He then proceeds to say, "what of it", brushing off the incident, and acting as if it wasn't a big deal. This, plus his fairly emotionless behavior from the rest of his scenes made me feel as though he might be emotionally unavailable, especially in the specific emotions of sadness, guilt, regret, etc...
We do see Hobie laughing, smiling, being cocky and sarcastic, but we never see him sad or regretful, compared to the rest of the Spider-men who are all shown experiencing some kind of negative emotion. (This includes even Ben Reilly, Spectacular Spider-man, Pavitr, etc...)
Being emotionally unavailable can also result from trauma, which we can be pretty sure Hobie has. Canonically, he was homeless before being bitten by a spider, and considering most Spider-people get bit from the ages of 13-16, we can assume that he spent most of his teenage life homeless. Being a homeless black teen in a fascist dictatorship in the 70s most definitely would have left some kind of impact on him, making the headcanon that he would be emotionally unavailable even more valid.
Either way, headcanons are headcanons and they don't need to be 100% accurate or even really have to make sense, but I like the idea of Hobie not really being the type to open up to people and I think it would be an interesting concept to explore in fanfictions, Hobie x readers or even Hobie x OCs!
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erinfern0 · 5 months
Note
Hiii💖 i love ur hcs about ghost😍 will u do more of them as their relationship goes further like moving in together then proposal and stuff like that please🥹🤍 if not that's ok have a great day/night💕
— gender-neutral nicknames, gender-neutral anatomy, only pronouns used are you, etc.
warnings: mostly fluff and comfort. there's also some smut. brief mention of anxiety, nightmares, and simon's past.
a/n: gosh, that's so nice, lovie!! have a wonderful day/night as well! <3 i think ill make one more post like this with husband!simon separately, so stay tuned if you're interested!
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bf!simon who can't believe he's so lucky to have you. he didn't even believe you the first time you agreed to move in with him. you were just probably talking about how empty his flat is whenever he's deployed and he made a comment, something along the lines of "Wanna live there while I'm gone?" so casually you take it as a joke. But the more you two think about it, the more reasonable it sounds.
bf!simon who can't stand the idea of you denying him, so he doesn't ever bring it up again, just slides the keys to his flat with a note, written in his neat handwriting: "Make yourself at home, you practically live there already." You couldn't stop smiling as you grabbed some of the most important things into a bag and left your apartment.
bf!simon who finds you at his your shared place, sleeping on the couch. Before, whenever he thought about anyone being in his private space without his supervision made him crumble inside with anxiety, but now, as he looked at you sleeping so peacefully, he felt like his flat was finally more homely than ever.
bf!simon who adores how warm and cozy it is after he helps you move all of your stuff into his flat. Your little collections, blankets, books, hobbies, and snacks are splattered all over it, reminding him how close you two are every second.
bf!simon who quickly understands your routine and tries to find as much time to share with you. Oh, you have a slight break between your dinner time and reading time? Well, now you spend this time together.
bf!simon who becomes way more talkative and open about his feelings. Yes, it does take him a while, but he's not as emotionally unavailable as people believe him to be.
bf!simon who struggles to sleep sometimes, too caught up with his past and present fears/worries/anxieties. As soon as you move in, he finds sleep to be easier, calming even.
bf!simon who gets so grumpy whenever you try to leave bed early, he can't help but reach out and pull you close to himself, sometimes just lying on top of you to keep you close to him for as long as possible.
bf!simon who willl encourage you to work out with him. He prefers to do it by himself at home rather than going to an actual gym, so he loves it when you join him or just watch him from afar.
bf!simon who finds your presence to be overwhelming at times, but never takes it out on you. He's so used to living by himself that it's hard for him to switch so quickly to having someone around all the time, as soon as his back from deployment.
bf!simon who easily shares chores between the two of you, always putting a little more on his name, because you already do so much when he's away.
bf!simon who makes you a fresh cup of your favorite drink before he leaves the lat to run errands in the morning. Usually makes you breakfast too, adding some tiny notes to make your day a little better before he's back.
bf!simon who eats a lot to keep his form, so he always has something for you. It just feels weird to eat by himself when you're around, so he always has some snacks for you or will just share his meal with you.
bf!simon who likes to help you cook, but never does it purely by himself. that's a fire hazard right there. Yeah, he can chop some veggies or help you with the seasoning, but nothing more.
bf!simon who thinks sex is a great thing, helping people connect but doesn't ever pressure you into it. If you find intimacy to be difficult for you, he'll find other ways to make you feel good.
bf!simon who (with given permission) will keep you in bed for hours, kissing, touching, grabbing, caressing. Sex with him is slow, passionate, and breathtaking in the softest way possible, he's such a gentle lover he makes you feel heavenly.
bf!simon who can't help but fall more in love with you every day you live together, especially when he's back from another mission and can just rest in your arms, with you reminding him how much he means to you.
bf!simon who wants to marry you so bad it practically hurts, because he knows how much weight it can put on your shoulders. He doesn't start the topic before you do, too anxious to admit just how much he's scared of losing you or scaring you away with too much commitment.
bf!simon who caresses your face as you two fall asleep and realizes it's too late, he's already swooned by you. You have him wrapped around your finger and he just craves to have another reason to call you his.
bf!simon who comes back from running errands and sees you cooking. It's probably not the best idea to interrupt you like this, but he just can't hold back, fear cannot stop him all his life.
bf!simon who asks you if you'd like to marry him, but not proposing. He wouldn't surprise you like this, out of nowhere. He actually wants to hear your opinion and how you feel about it.
bf!simon who almost breaks down in tears as he hears how happy and excited you got. All dinner you talked about everything involving your life after marriage and he just smiled the whole time, mesmerized by you.
bf!simon who proposes to you a few months later, after you've talked everything through and both of you are sure you want this.
fiancé!simon who knows you so well, he buys you the most perfect engagement ring you've ever seen and it matches you so well. What surprises you is that he gets another, way simpler one for himself that he wears when he's home and hangs on his neck as he's back on deployment.
fiancé!simon who doesn't dream of a big wedding or anything, all he wants is to see you in the beautiful and cute outfit you chose and to say his vows and to finally say yes. He wants a civil marriage, but if religion is important to you, he doesn't mind your wedding happening at the church.
fiancé!simon who's amused by the way the rings shine on your fingers as you hold hands. Suddenly, he's more clingy than ever, having his hands on you all the time.
fiancé!simon who reminds you how much he loves you every day, but usually it's non-verbal. You don't have to hear it to know it. The way he holds you, takes care of you, helps you, supports you, looks at you - it's way more than enough.
fiancé!simon who can't stop imagining you in more lewd scenarios every day, always bringing his ideas up to see your reaction and is willing to try anything.
fiancé!simon who usually makes love to you, but after he proposes he finds new strength and courage to be rougher if you want. Now, you have days when he'll just fuck you the way you need or want him to, making sure you're comfortable every step of the way.
fiancé!simon who definitely had you on every surface of your shared flat. In the shower, bent over the kitchen aisle, on the couch, against the wall. He'll tease you about it too, especially when you get creative and figure something out yourself.
fiancé!simon who trusts you and is willing to give you some control in the bedroom. He starts to love the way you know exactly how to take care of him, his needs, and his body and he admires it more than anything.
fiancé!simon who might get a little insecure at times, looking at you from across the room, trying to figure out if he's not wasting your time. He wants to hear you say you want all of this, that you want him.
fiancé!simon who plans every little step and wants you to participate in planning. He hates the idea of taking the lead as surprising you with anything. That might not end well and he just wants you to be happy.
fiancé!simon who finally introduces you to his team, proudly looking at the ring on your finger, earning a ton of congratulations and questions from them. It's almost overwhelming how excited they all got, especially Johnny.
fiancé!simon who is secretly very happy to see you befriend his teammates, how much they treat you like a family member already. Because that's what you all are to him - a family he never thought he was going to have after what happened.
fiancé!simon who practices his speech in the mirror, trying to make everything perfect, because that's what you deserve. He rewrote it so many times, now the whole thing is engraved in his mind just waiting for the right moment.
fiancé!simon who doesn't find thinking about the future so terrifying anymore, that you are his future.
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avrilsboy · 3 months
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i'm only partway through ep five of true detective but god. the escalation of martin's misogyny to where he hits and slut-shames his teenage daughter audrey in the same sentence that he talks about a statutory rape charge against the young men she was found in a car with, and how this is immediately preceded by a scene of him being congratulated for rescuing a child from a child rapist/murderer, who he himself killed assassination-style out of sheer rage. he got away with covering it up as a defensive kill, he received a promotion, he got a second chance with his wife maggie whom he cheated on and got to be with his young daughters again. despite all that he does wrong, all is right in martin's world. audrey, though, now a teenager, is now at the receiving end of her father's hatred of women; she doesn't even realize that she has been at this receiving end since she was a child of nine or so, ever since her parents found her drawings of naked men and women having sex in her school notebook. maggie is properly disturbed by this, wondering if audrey is possibly being sexually abused, knowing very well how early girls learn about sex because of the dangers they face as girls, while martin is only angry at audrey for displaying a knowledge of sex in the first place. he can't cope that his young daughter is a woman to-be. he can't possibly marry his own ideas and treatment of women with the reality that both of his children will soon become those very women. and since he categorically gets what he wants without ever needing to challenge his perceptions or change himself in any capacity, he continues to direct his rage at women, and his daughters suffer for it. even maisie, favored over audrey by martin, starts facing direct whispers of his misogyny as she makes the cheerleading team, something with a clearly sexual connotation in martin's mind.
and on the very same page is rust, who in his previous job had also killed a suspect upon discovery of child abuse. he, however, received no accolades; he instead spent time at a psychiatric hospital, as this was viewed as a mental breakdown in connection with the recent loss of his own daughter, sofia. rust, refusing pension, was instead sent to do undercover work for an extensive seven years as consequence. he loses a lot in the aftermath of his daughter's death; his marriage falls apart, he copes by overworking, he doesn't sleep. he is haunted by sofia's presence. he's often detached and pessimistic, only able to view the world in strict functions: cause and effect. fear and desire. animals playing power-games on what is truly a nothing planet in the scope of the universe. upon becoming martin's partner, he gets to witness martin fucking up a life he himself once had -- he gets to witness him be emotionally unavailable to his daughters, watches him cheat on his wife -- but rust can do only that. observe, and let martin know he observes. and he makes sure martin still maintains his chances, encouraging him to cover up the crime of murdering a suspect, telling him that his relationship with maggie will turn around.
here's the thing, though: rust has something that martin wishes he had, too. martin wishes he could view his daughters as forever-children. he doesn't wish they had died as sofia had as just a toddler, obviously not -- but their unavoidable womanhood is, to him, its own death sentence. he hates that his children are becoming the very women he derides and uses to bolster his own position as a man. he hates that their innate womanhood would dare beg him to change his mindset for the sake of his relationships with them as their father, for the sake of their safety in the world. he could only dream of his daughters being perfectly innocent non-women forever, something only their early graves could ever promise.
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