#(hes feelin all if this) l

[onejellyfishplease]

Now, we're swerving directly into horror territory for this one!

the tags shall be filled with ✨trigger warnings✨

I couldnt find a way to draw SnapDonnie (plant edition) without making the design horrifying to look at. So I leaned into it!

Behold! SnapDonnie!

#and here comes the barrage of tws #if ive missed anything #please let me know #tw blood #tw body horror #cw blood #cw body horror #tw death #cw death #(hes actually alive for this it just looks like hes dead) #(hes feelin all if this) l #:) #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #tw disease #tw infection #snapdonnie

[bwere]

WHY DIDNT YOU CALL? W/ TOJI FUSHIGURU

710+ wc, smut, two l!nks, little angst

mdni + not proofread, request always open

TOJI FUSHIGURO has only a little more patience when it comes to you than he does with anyone else. he loves you of course—but sometimes he just wants to ruin whatever idea in your pretty little head that makes you think, you can make him wait whenever you please and get away with it scotch free.

he waited all day for you, sent texts, left voicemails, missed calls, and even let you know when he clocked in for work and when he got off. 

he was fine with you going out with your friends—but when you give him an estimated time of when you’ll be home he expects you home in the same timeframe no less. 

with each passing hour toji was getting more impatient as he watched the delivered prompt stay that of stone.

you on the other hand paid no mind to his messages, giving a little heart or thumbs up here and there and going on with your outing. thinking he wouldn’t mind since he understood your situation.

but boy were you wrong.

you left him on-read for five hours—and sure he knew you were probably fine, but it made him irked, knowing you were looking pretty around your little friends but ignoring his messages. not only that but you gave him a time and yet you still kept him waiting. as if he didn’t matter more than your friends.

so when you came home that night and found him waiting for you in the kitchen, you knew he was fuming. 

“you think that shits funny huh? leavin’ me on read like i’m one of your fuckin’ friends?” toji seethes, his coarse palms fusing into the meat of your hips. kneading the skin around his fingers like dough. 

his fingers pressurize your skin till it’s sore. your poor abdomen only being given relief when he repositions his fingers—just to get a better grip and fuck harder into you than just moments ago as if you were a mere silicone fleshlight.

“h-hah—mgmhn-n..nough!” you pant out as he digs into you so good it makes your spine shiver, so good you can barely catch on to your voice, before he takes your strength away with another deep stroke.

he has your face drowning in your shared bedding, drool streaming from your lips and chasing down your chin, all to be soaked up by the silk imposed under your face. 

with your body deep in the mattress, his hands hold you in place as he thrusts into you so precisely, every movement grabbing another moan from your throat.

“c’mon ya feelin’ ngh- that good huh? don’t even know how to say no,” toji mocks, earning nothing in response but a plethora of raspy whimpers of sorries from you. “lemme make ya’ remember then, doll”

“mmmfhg! m’ sorry mngh toji p-please i won’ do it again!” you cry, as you’ve barely been able to do anything but lay there beg after beg, struggling to take it.

“yeah? go on, tell me what you won’t do ma’” the baritone in tojis voice resonating throughout the walls of your shared room.

TOJI FUSHIGURO slows down the pace of his thrusts till the tip of his cock rests just outside your gaping pussy.

and as your lips part—oh so desperately trying to gain some sense; before you can even convince him to let you sound a word out, before you can even think about what you’re going to say—he leans his weight forward to hook your wrists around each other, and in the same motion pulling you back against his chest as he sinks his hard cock deep in you as if he never was out of you to begin with. 

unhesitatingly pounding into you once more—occupying your warm insides with rough submission. allowing you no support to hold on to while he uses you relentlessly. 

“Uhngm—! ts’-too muh-ch toji..!“ It’s exasperating—how his dick could steal your ability to speak. Rob you of your dignity, and make you only familiar with how to say his name.

He knows how to fuck you so perfectly your cunt only feens for the thick veiny cock—the same one now violating your insides. 

“yer capable of makin’ excuses but mmmh—can’t answer my calls back huh? do i need to get you a beeper?”

#@𝗕𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗘 . . 𝗡𝗢 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 #toji fushiguro #toji zenin #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji x reader #jjk toji #toji x you #toji smut #jujutsu toji #toji fluff #toji x y/n #toji angst #toji hcs #toji headcanons #toji hc #jjk fushiguro #fushiguro toji x reader #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro imagine #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x fem!reader

[thehighladywrites]

𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘉𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵

☀︎ — pairing: cassian x fem reader

☀︎ — summary: cassian finds out you can squirt...

☀︎ — warnings: nsfw, 18+, pussy eating, smut, cassian being yummy, reader damn near passing out

☀︎ — amara's note: shoutout to the anon that sent in this ask → link!! Because they're right, I haven't seen any Cassian making reader squirt fics, so l made one 😈😈😈

Cassian discovers you can squirt and never goes back. He is over the moon and tries making you squirt all the time. He remebers the first time it happened. You had been fucking for hours, his cock pumping into you, a white, milky ring decorating the base of his cock. Cassian made you cum over and over again, making you extremly sensitive.

“Cas— I can’t, t’s too sensitive—”

“Just gimme one more, sweet girl.”

His warm hands gently cradled each of your thighs, his arms wrapping around them with a firm grip. Despite your struggle to think straight and pull yourself together, he held you steady with warmth and tenderness.

The second his tounge licked a stripe to your clit, tears started flowing. It was all too much and not enough at the same time.

Cassian sucked on your clit, teeth light grazing the bud, making you yelp.

He pushed in two fingers and pumped in and out at a mind emptying pace. There was nothing in your head but pleasure, fullness and warmth. You felt yourself dripping on the expensive sheets below and you felt yourself go insane when he curled them.

In this moment, everything felt surreal. His snug black compression shirt, from morning training, hugged his muscular frame, while his hair, tousled from your earlier pulling, was loosely gathered in a half-bun. His hazel green eyes, usually warm and inviting, now darkened with a deep hunger, matching the intensity of his massive, proud wings splayed behind him.

Cassian was without a doubt the best male who had ever bedded you. He was well aware of the effect he had on you. As your eyes met his, you were greeted by a smug smirk.

Before you could say something to wipe that little smirk on his face, your head was thrown back as you felt his wet tongue lick a stripe right along your clit, making you reach out to grip his soft hair.

This time, everything felt different. It was overwhelming, an intense pressure unlike anything you'd experienced before.

Tongue coming up to your clit again, he begins to lick it, suck on it, teasing that sensitive bud more with each arch of your back, feeding into his ego.

Cassian fucking loved the effect he had on you. He loved that you became a mess around him, loved how you completely stopped arguing with him with just a lick to your clit or a pinch to your nipples.

“You feelin’ good, sweets?” he smiled again, knowingly asking despite having the answer.

You didn’t care if you fed into his ego. He was making you feel good and you’d let him know. Anyone who ate pussy this good deserved to brag.

“Mm — yeah, feels so fuckin’ good.”

You felt the vibration of his chuckle on your pussy, making you whine even more. You were dangerously close to finishing all over his face.

“M’gonna cum, cassie — oh, fuckkk.”

An intense feeling of euphoria washed over you as you tightened around his fingers and finally came. You were letting out high-pitched moans and arched your back while throwing your head back.

That same feeling of being overwhelmed returned and you felt yourself gush all over his fingers, messily squirting on his lower face, chest, fingers and bed.

He looked up at you.

And you looked down at him.

Silence enveloped the room, embarrassment settling over you.

“I'm so sorry, Cassian. I-” you stammered, breaking the silence as you were on the verge of tears.

“Again,” he replied, almost simultaneously, catching you off guard. His eyes are wide and his breathing heavy.

“Mother’s tits. Never knew you were a squirter.”

His face was dripping as he leaned down and placed a kiss on your soaked pussy.

“Wanna see you do it again, think you can do that for me, pretty girl? Hm?”

With reassurance and confidence, hooded eyes and a throbbing pussy, you nodded.

Your man would take care of you.

🏷️ @justasillylittlegoofyguy @cupidojenphrodite @amygdtjhddzvb @callmeblaire @redbleedingrose @acourtofwhatthefuck @thelov3lybookworm @clairebear08 @jeannineee @rowaelinsdaughter

#talkswithamara #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar x reader #acotar imagine #commander cassian #general cassian #cassian x you #cassian acotar #cassian fanfic #cassian imagine #cassian acomaf #cassian #cassian x reader #cassian acowar #cassian x y/n #cassian x fem!reader #sjm universe #sjm multiverse #sjm fandom #sarah j maas #sjmaas #sjm books #sjm #cassian sjm

[99k4manii]

L. O. V. E

Warning: suggestive at the end | clingy-ish y/n | Just ony | pet names like: ma, mama ,baby ,bae

⚠️ not proofread ⚠️

“Babyyyy” you dragged the “y” while you shook him just a little bit trying to get his attention “bruh bae move get off me” you made a lil stank face

“why you actin’ like that…” “cuz you shakin’ me knowing I’m playin’ the game, you being extra right now” “YOU extra I didn’t even do nothing ! not too much lil nigga..” you said Under your breath.

But what the crazy thing was… he ain’t even say nothing back like usually he would’ve said “watch ya mouth” or sum like that he just let you walk away!

Once you got off the bed you started walking towards the walk-in closet texting your homegirls back saying “y’all know what? Nvm I will be outside today!” They texted back said they pick you up at 6 it was only 3:46 but you know you take a while to get ready so you wanna start early.

You was in the closet looking threw all them clothes you had, but you wanted to make Ony mad since he wanna act up, so you picked out a certain outfit he probably wasn’t gon like.

He was already confused when he heard the shower starting because he knows your whole schedule and this wasn’t the time you usual start your showers, but he ain’t worry about it he just kept playin his STOOPID game.

But he got even more confused when you were scouring the drawers in front of the tv in your little towel, looking for who knows what, till he saw you bring out a white lacey thong which he didn’t care but he aint see you grab a bra maybe you already had one.. yeah…

You was in the bathroom doing washing your face then started doing skincare, you heard him get off the the bed and go down the stairs, “…boy so you don’t feel the need to come see what I’m doinggg??”

You had thought in your head but you started brushing your teeth then you took off your bonnet, unt unt unt, baby you betta fix dat lace fronttt! which you did it was super cute then you started doing your edges.

Your hair was so cute! You started putting that outfit on, it was 5:27, “DANGG time went fast” you said to yourself quietly then you heard ony coming back in the room walking to towards the bathroom.

“Oh now he wanna see what I’m doing..” you thought to yourself shaking yo head side ta side, he came up behind you and started kissing yo neck and holding it while he other hand went down your stomach.

“damn ma.. you look fine as hell.. where we going?” You was was feelin him but you forgot you was supposed to be mad so you moved his hand from youre stomach and fixed you lashes.

“Mama? I asked you a question.” He said sturnly which kinda turned you on because you love when he got that tone to his voice. “WE not going nowhere. IM going out wit’m homegirls” you said smacking your lips after.

“What’you’mean” he said letting go of you completely “exactly what I said” you took you phone swiping up from the wallpaper of you and ony. Checking your messages and the time. It was 5:53 your home girl texted you that they was almost outside.

“Watch out it’s time fo me to go.” You said with a lil sas he watched you walk away he didn’t stop you, he wanted to! But he didn’t. You started putting your shoes on, with your pretty anklet and the necklace with your name on it.

Your girls was out side so you left, he was mad. You knew he was mad. He was especially mad when he seen your instagram post twerking on one of your homegirls lap. with a caption saying : “if my man don’t wont catch it my bsfs will!” With another video under it of you with someone spreading money on yo back while you twerk.

He thought about running over to that party and picking you up right away. But he didn’t. Cuz you were in for it when you got home. Oh, you was REALLY in for it when you got back.

You friend dropped you off yall did your goodbye kisses & hugs then you was finna put the key in the door but it swung open, a strong arm pulling you in then picking you up.

“Ony whatdafuck??” You said as he threw you on the bed “first you was giving me attitude then you runnin ya mouth AND shakin ya ass on someone else?? You must be crazy. Gon head take off all dat shit like bro.. you ain’t even got a bra on wit that tight ass- mannn you pissing me off more and more.”

You rolled you eyes and started undressing. Let’s just say last night was memorable.

HEY BABYESSS so if I make a pt2 it probably be of “last night” (I apologize if links don’t work I check every other day ta see jus in case!)

#smut #ony x black reader #aot onyankopon #onyankopon x black y/n #onyankopon smut #onyankopon x reader

[captainfern]

oh my Lordy lord, ain’t no way you left us alone with that lieutenant!john price fic. Oh hell naw, that has awakened something I didn’t know I had. Please write more young price 😭🙏 I’m going feral and I’m begging (love your work btw)

he’s just so cocky :(

@bbbby-blu started this obsession. so thanks for that bby x

18+, fem!reader — first part here

lieutenant john price, all freshly-shaven and oozing confidence, is the type of man to talk you through it in a condescending tone because he knows how good he is. he knows he treats you well, and he knows how good he can make you feel on his cock

it doesn’t matter how much control you think you have when the two of you have sex, he will always know exactly what to say to get you all flustered and whiney

you ride him, the wet heat of your cunt gliding up and down his cock, your legs either side of him, his hands running across the thick of your thighs. you move yourself, grinding over him, the fat head of his cock rubbing against the base of your cervix

but even though you’re controlling the pace, you’re controlling your own body, price still has this cocky, confident personality that seems to keep you tethered to him. your entire body glows hot when he speaks to you

“that’s it, baby, just look at you bouncin’ this pretty body on my cock, hm?” he squeezed at you when he spoke, kneading handfuls of your thighs, your hips, your arse. “you feelin’ good, baby? you feel good stuffin’ this pretty pussy with my cock?”

he moved a hand between your legs and pressed a finger to your swollen clit, circling it gently. you moaned, breathless and whiney, as he released a deep grumble from his chest. “yeah, ‘course you do. ‘course you feel good. y’just always feel good gettin’ fucked, don’t you? always feel so good with my cock in this tight fuckin’ cunt.”

he took his finger away from your clit, making you whimper at the loss. his hands tightened on your hips now, and he basically stole the control from you. he was now guiding you up and down on his cock, snapping his hips up at the same time. he grunted, watching the way your body bounced against him, the ripples of your flesh as he pulled you down onto his cock

“can feel you squeezin’ me, pretty girl. can fuckin’ feel how bad you wanna come,” he uttered, cocky and real fucking proud of himself. “you wanna come? you wanna wet my cock, baby?”

you mewled desperately, nodding as he ground you against him. he was so deep inside you— the head of his cock pressing up against the plug of your womb, your clit brushing through his coarse pubic hair. you moaned quietly, price’s hands groping the flesh of your hips

“yeah, just look at you. so pretty, my pretty girl. so desperate for her lieutenant’s big fuckin’ cock— so needy for it, so fuckin’ needy for me,” he grumbled out, hips jolting quicker now. you panted over him, hands skimming through the hair on his chest and abdomen as you tried to stabilise yourself. he groaned out. “yeah, that’s a good girl, baby. come ‘round my cock. go on. wet my cock real good, pretty girl.”

you came, moaning his name loudly into the room as he continued to thrust up into you, knocking the heady tip of his cock against the spongey spot inside you. he groaned at the feeling of you tightening around him, and then groaned again when you moaned his name

“that’s right, baby, that’s right, good girl. say my name, that’s it, nice and loud,” he grunted, before the muscles in his lower stomach were tightening, his balls pulling tight, and he came deep inside you with your name on his lips. his cum was thick and warm inside you, plugging it in with his cock. he rubbed your tummy. “nice and full… that’s my girl.”

#captainfern #captainfernsalutes #lieutenant john price #captain john price #call of duty #call of duty mw2 #price smut #cod smut #captain price x female reader

[mayearies]

✩ ABC’S

sfw alphabet with miles g. genre: fluffy hcs

—‘A’ IS FOR AFFECTION (how affectionate are they?) pretty affectionate with his s/o even if he can be awkward sometimes, takes some time getting close to someone again. if you’re in public, he would mainly hold your hand. maybe sneak in a hug or kiss once in a while if he’s feelin’ handsy. when recieving affection, he’s always open towards it. even if it makes him a little embarassed at moments (mainly in public).

—‘B’ IS FOR BESTFRIEND (what are they like as a bestie?) once he get comfy with you, he the type to play with you but also have serious talks to. he would like to stay close to you and hang out with you a lot. he’s also really good at rps (rock paper scissors) and shadow boxing, you gettin’ bodied fo sho ‼️

—‘C’ IS FOR CUDDLES (what is their cuddling schedule?) he likes contact with you, preferably skin to skin so expect his hands up your back or your stomach. he can be both a big spoon or a little spoon, he just wants to hold you (he will be a little spoon most times which you will tease him about). one cuddle sesh a day is required for him to function.

“baby? where’s my hugs n’ kisses? you aint mad at me, right?”

—‘D’ IS FOR DOMESTIC (settling down? how will they be helping out around?) he would wait to get a fiancée, let alone a wife. but of course he would want to settle down with you. he loves you. a pretty decent home cook, nothing special. he would watch his ma make pasteles so it’s one of the dishes he can perfect. he tolerates cleaning. doesnt like it but doesn’t fully hate it.

—‘E’ IS FOR ENDING (how does breaking up go?) would absolutely try to avoid arguments all he can. depends on the reason why you two are splitting, but he will spill his feelings about the relationship out to you. in his head. he doesn’t enjoy speaking his thoughts very much and just feels it’ll escalate shit. though, he would wish you well.

—‘F’ IS FOR FIANCÉE (how committed are they to you?) puts his commitment to you over anything else. though he claims he is not in a rush to marry you and that it could wait, but at the same time he be talkin’ about baby names and what a dream it would be to marry someone like you.

—‘G’ IS FOR GENTLE (how gentle are they?) he’s gentle on most occasions. his rbf and cold aura can be misleading. the craves your touch and your kisses. however, he can be a little on the rough side. for example, his mental state. it isn’t the best with his dad being dead and being the prowler, but you make it more bearable with just your presence. he can also be on the rougher side by squeezing places he knows only belong to him (neck, thighs, waist, etc.)

—‘H’ IS FOR HUGS (how does their hugging schedule work?) he dont mind them. he just dont like the long ones. makes him uncomfortable in some way. he doesn’t do them that often, but when he does they’re really memorable and soft.

—‘I’ IS FOR I LOVE YOU (how quick do they say i love you?) waits a little long before pulling the big ‘l word’. i wouldnt describe him as head over heels for you, but he’s in love.

—‘J’ IS FOR JEALOUSY (what are they like when they’re jealous?) oh boy, can this man get jealous. like, hella jealous. if someone so much as stare too long at you, he’ll glare at them while bringing you closer towards him. touching you? a line nobody can cross. that shit is a death wish. his mami, not yours.

—‘K’ IS FOR KISSES (how does their kiss schedule work?) hold me back i finna go wild on this one. though you’re probably his first relationship like ever, he didnt know how to kiss at first. as time went on though, his kisses got really passionate and filled with longing. everytime he kisses you, he misses you just a little bit less cause he knows you’re here. you’re here to stay. you’re his. he would kiss you anywhere. your least favorite part? kissed. your favorite part? consider it done, bae. he likes cheek kisses a lot. he doesn’t know why, though. he also really likes looking at your eyes when he’s done kissing you, he likes eye contact in general. if you are avoiding it or simply looking away from him, he’ll snap his fingers in your face and hold your chin as you turn towards him.

“ma. look at me. i won’t ask twice.”

—‘L’ IS FOR LITTLE ONES (how are they around kids?) not a fan of kids, they’re too noisy. he’s really awkward with them because he internally just thinks they’re little brats, but he also knows they’re stupid. his kid though? he will adore them so fucking much you might have to separate him.

—‘M’ IS FOR MORNINGS (how do your morning routines go?) he wakes up whenever you wake up. your morning routine is basically his, only that he adds a few more steps to it. those ‘few more steps’ being holding you for a solid five or so minutes before you carry on with your early rising.

—‘N’ IS FOR NIGHTS (how does your night routine go?) much like the mornings, his night routine is similar to yours. except, sometimes you dont even finish the whole thing because he wants your time and attention to himself before he drifts off to sleep.

—‘O’ IS FOR OPEN (when will they become more personal?) probably on the third or fourth date. the first two he would want to know more about you. but, he would drop little things he was interested in too.

—‘P’ IS FOR PATIENCE (how patient are they?) he doesn’t get upset that easily, with you atleast. don’t push him too far with your smart mouth, though. that’s what can really piss him off sometimes.

“the fuck you think you talkin’ to? tone down that attitude fo’ me.”

—‘Q’ IS FOR QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you?) he would remember the things that intrugied him about you, but he wouldnt remember every single thing. that’s how he knew what to buy you if he wanted to surprise you.

—‘R’ IS FOR REMEMBER (whats their favorite moment?) he loves them all equally, frankly if he had to choose he couldn’t.

—‘S’ IS FOR SECURITY (how protective are they?) pretty fuckin’ protective of you. and you love it. sometimes, he would stalk you just to see how you were doing or if you were okay. he just doesn’t want to lose someone again, he hopes you understand.

—‘T’ IS FOR TRY (how much effort do they put into your relationship?) he tries to make an effort into planning dates but those plans often get spoiled by his alter. he will always make it up to you, though. no matter what.

—‘U’ IS FOR UGLY (whats one of their flaws?) lying. he doesnt like to lie to you, but it keeps you safe. it got to the point where he would lie about little things on accident, like taking out the trash.

—‘V’ IS FOR VANITY (how insecure are they about their looks?) not a lot. if you think he looks good, then he looks good. sometimes he wonders how he even managed to pull someone like you.

“whatever, amor. if you think i look good, then i look good. whatever you say goes.”

—‘W’ IS FOR WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?) yes. nothing more.

—‘X’ IS FOR XTRA (random hc about them?) he behaves like a cat sometimes without even knowing it.

—‘Y’ IS FOR YUCK (whats something they dont like in a partner?) he probably doesnt like loud noises. yes, he does ride a motorcycle but he probably wears earplugs to help with the noise.

—‘Z’ IS FOR ZZZ (what are their sleeping habits?) he’s naturally a light sleeper, so anything faint could wake him up. something he does when you sleep with him is that he would hold you so close and tight that you once had a dream you fell and broke your back. and a actually felt that pain in real life. yikes. another habit he has is playing with your hair subconciously and muttering things about you in his sleep. you both have woken up to it multiple times.

© mayeluvsu 1610 version

#miles g morales #miles morales x you #miles morales headcanons #earth 42 miles morales #earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles morales blurbs

[alltheirdamn]

Killing Me Softly | (Joel x teacher!f!reader)

Chap. 6 Buried Truths

Summary: When the past can only be contained for so long, Joel is there to pick up the pieces. Rating: 18+ MDNI Explicit Word Count: 8.4k Warnings: Pre-outbreak AU, language, mentions of a hospital setting, mentions of injury, mentions of past trauma, a FUCK ton of angst, little sprinkle of smut, another cliffhanger (don't worry, i won't make you wait long) A/N: This is the part where you all collectively say OH...

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

Joel’s hand remained wrapped around yours as you stared blankly out the plane window. Everything had been a blur the last twenty-four hours. After you got off the call with Beth, you ran through calling the school to find a substitute, packed what you could into a small carry-on bag, and went online to book the first ticket out to Boston. You tried to talk Joel into staying back in Austin; he had work and Sarah to care for, but he was adamant about coming. He made a quick call to Tommy to make a plan for Sarah and contacted his work to find coverage for the rest of the week. He was only apart from you when he rushed home to pack his travel bag. Then you were both off to the airport: you bleary-eyed and Joel more stoic than you could ever recall seeing. He hadn’t said much between security and the flight gate, but you were too exhausted to try and force conversation. 

“Hey,” Joel said, nudging you. “How you feelin’, baby?”

You glanced at him and shrugged, the tears from earlier still drying on your cheeks.

“I’m okay, I guess.”

His fingers squeezed around yours before he brought your hand to his mouth to kiss it softly.

“He’s gonna be alright,” he assured. “Beth said he’s recovering now, right? It’s just gonna take some time.”

While you and Joel were waiting at the gate, you called Beth again to find out what happened with your dad. She explained he had been up on the ladder fixing the roofing above the patio when his foot caught in one of the steps, ultimately forcing him to fall ten feet to the ground. He had a broken hip, a fracture in his lower spine, and a severe concussion—leaving him in a temporary medically induced coma. Beth had said he was lucky to be alive, but the anxiety still bubbled inside you in fear of what he would endure through his recovery. The thought of his injury only elevated the already strong emotions connecting you to the past, making it nearly impossible to cope with your dad’s accident while you simultaneously still struggled with your own.

The plane made a rocky touch-down in Boston well after midnight, the autumn rain causing the plane to slide against the tarmac before coming to a jarring stop. You and Joel rushed around the other passengers, filing out of the plane and sprinting through the airport to find Beth. You singled her out of the crowd, her face rosy and hair piled onto her head in a messy bun. The second she had your arms around you, you crumpled to the ground as the sobs broke out of your chest. 

“It’s okay, sis,” she said, her voice breaking. “He’s stable. It’s gonna be okay.”

“What if—what if he’s not?” You sobbed. 

You clutched onto her sweater, your head buried into her shoulders. She hushed you, her hand rubbing into your back.

“The doctors said he’ll make a full recovery. We just need to wait,” she said. 

“Is there any…” Your voice broke once more.

“No,” she whispered. “There’s no serious damage to his brain.”

You choked on your breath, relief swimming through your veins. This wouldn’t be like your accident; he would be okay. 

“C’mon,” she urged, pulling you to your feet. 

You wiped your nose across your sleeve, sheepishly turning to Joel. Gesturing from him to Beth, you gave a weak smile.

“Joel, this is Beth. Beth, this is Joel.”

Joel and Beth stood motionless, staring awkwardly at each other. You glanced between them, your eyebrows furrowing. Why weren’t they saying anything? 

Finally, Joel cleared his throat and extended his hand to Beth. 

“Nice to meet you, Beth. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Beth took his hand cautiously, giving him a friendly smile.

“Same here.”

You’d revisit this awkward interaction later, but you needed to go home. 

“Is mom home?” You asked Beth. 

You reached for your bag, but Joel gently nudged your hand away. He took it into his hand and walked to the parking garage behind you and your sister.

“Her and Stella are at the hospital,” she explained.

You stopped in your tracks, sending Joel staggering into your back with a soft oof.

“Sorry,” you muttered to Joel. You turned back to Beth. “Take me home.”

“No,” she said sternly. “They want you there. You need to be there.”

“Beth,” you started.

She lifted a hand to silence you, glancing over your shoulder at Joel.

“Can you jump in the car real quick? I need to talk to my sister alone.”

Beth tossed her keys to Joel, waiting until the back door shut before she glared at you. 

“Does he know?” She questioned.

“Of course, he doesn’t know,” you argued. 

She scoffed, folding her arms.

“Considering everything going on, you didn’t think to mention it to him?”

“Sorry, I’ve been a little busy getting my ass out here as fast as possible. It didn’t register in my mind to share the sad details of my accident with him.”

“You need to tell him, sis.”

“This isn’t the fucking time to do it!” You snapped. 

Beth rolled her eyes, her lips pursed for another attack.

“It’s going to come out sooner or later. You know that, right? He’s not going to run away if you tell him.”

“Bennett did, so why is he any different?”

“Stop comparing him to Bennett!” She yelled. “He’s nothing like him, and if you seriously think that, then you’re a fucking idiot.”

“Don’t say that,” you mumbled.

“What? The truth? Because the truth is that you are a fucking idiot. And on top of that, you’re a coward.”

“Fuck you,” you spat. 

Beth laughed. She actually laughed. Rounding the car, she left you standing teary-eyed and frustrated. 

“Get in the fucking car,” she shouted. “We’re wasting time.”

You hauled yourself into the front seat, keeping your eyes out of the window and avoiding the heavy truth sitting between you, Beth, and Joel. If any one of them told him about your past, you’d kill them. It was yours to share whenever you were ready. 

Beth drove like a bat out of hell to Mass General. No one said anything the entire drive, and you were grateful for it. After the blowup between you and Beth, you had no more energy left to fight. You just hoped you’d be able to reel in the anger with Joel; he didn’t deserve it. 

Mass General loomed above the rain clouds settling over the city. Joel and Beth had already exited the car while you sat inside its warmth, your eyes stuck on the Emergency sign at the front of the hospital. Joel tapped on the window, stirring you from the numbing sensation rolling through your body. You didn’t even flinch at the sound of his knuckles on the glass. Joel cracked the door open, pulling it wide enough to fit his broad between the metal and your shaking body.

“C’mon baby,” he urged, offering his hand. “I know y’can do this. I’m right here with you, okay?”

“I can’t,” you whined. 

Joel crouched slightly, leveling you with soft brown eyes, a curl drifting over his forehead. You wished you were both in bed, curled under the covers and far away from Boston. You wanted his soft hair between your fingers and his stubble ticking your skin. But no, you were here in Boston, with a rain cloud hanging in the sky and your father unconscious in a hospital bed. 

“Look at me,” Joel breathed.

You wanted to look anywhere but at him. If he looked at you any longer, you’d shatter completely. He cautioned your name, coaxing you from your hesitation. His strong hands cupped your cheeks, holding you firm as he kept your focus on his eyes.

“I’m right here,” he repeated. “Ain’t gonna leave your side no matter what. Y’understand? Whatever happens, I’m right here.”

You chewed on your lip to keep the sobs from escaping. It was surprising you had anything left to cry; all you did was cry… and cry… and cry. 

“I can’t go in there, Joel. You don’t—you don’t understand.”

“Help me understand,” he pleaded.

“Go without me. I’ll wait outside, okay?”

“Baby,” he groaned. “Beth will have my ass if I don’t get you inside.”

You scoffed, ripping his hands from your face. 

“You speak a few words to her and suddenly know how she’s gonna react?” You glared. “You both acted so fucking weird in the airport and now you’re taking her side?”

Joel straightened to his full height, the shadow of his body blanketing you. You were pushing him away; you knew it, and so did he. You just needed to nudge him a bit more, and he’d run. You’d be alone again and spare yourself the humiliation and heartbreak.

“I ain’t takin’ sides,” he argued. “I’m bein’ realistic. I saw the way she went at you back there. I’m not ‘bout to get the same treatment for leavin’ you behind.”

“Just go!” You yelled. You shoved at his chest, forcing him back into the door. 

He didn’t respond in anger like you expected. He did the opposite, pulling you towards him and into a desperate kiss. You tried to push him off—tried to fight it— but he only held you tighter.

“Keep fightin’ me, baby,” he said against your mouth. “I’m only gonna fight back.”

“I hate you,” you cried. “I hate you.”

But you didn’t stop kissing him. You gripped the wild curls at the base of his neck, pinning him to your lips as you sobbed through every slant of his mouth. 

“Why won’t you leave?” You cried, the words muffled as his tongue searched for yours. “Why, Joel?”

“I ain’t leavin’ you again, baby,” he murmured. “I can’t.”

Joel pulled away from your swollen lips, tears pooling in his eyes. You instantly felt remorse for treating him so badly. You wouldn’t do to him what Bennett did to you. 

“Remember when I said this was real?” he asked. “Do you still believe that?”

You nodded, squeezing your eyes shut as more tears ran down your cheeks.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“Then trust me when I say I’m never leavin’. Not now. Not ever.”

You inhaled a sharp breath and buried your head in your hands. 

“Just give me a minute, okay?” You exhaled. “Catch up with Beth, and I’ll be right behind you.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” he said, echoing the words you spoke only a few weeks ago. 

“You and your deals,” you grumbled, peeking out your fingers.

That garnered a slight grin from Joel, his lips curling upward.

“Take your breather, and I’ll wait by the back of the car. If y’wanna go in, we can go in together.”

You remained silent, hiccuping over another sob. Joel raised his brow, waiting for a response. Avoiding his eyes, you nodded, the Emergency sign taunting you from a distance. Joel leaned down to press a soft kiss on your forehead and abandoned you to retreat toward the back of the car. 

You steadied your breathing, focusing on the slow inhale and exhale of the air within your lungs. It wasn’t you in that hospital bed; it was your dad. He didn’t sustain the same damage you had, and that’s all that mattered. Whatever the outcome, he was better off than you had ever been, and you needed to be grateful for it. 

You let your legs move on their own accord as you took your spot beside Joel, his hand instantly grasping around yours. His touch grounded you in the moment, keeping you centered as your mind swam upstream through the rocky waves of the past. You had to stay strong. You had to prove you could do this.

The second your feet crossed through the sliding doors, all that strength collapsed. Joel hooked a strong arm around your back, bracing you to his side as he guided you into the waiting room. Your mom and Beth sat side by side in the worn-down seats, their faces grim and tired. 

“Hey,” you said wearily. 

Your mom's eyes snapped up, and she broke down at seeing you. She ran up to yank you from Joel’s grasp, smothering you into a tight hug. 

“Oh, honey,” she cried. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“How’s dad?” You asked, speaking into her hair that wrapped around your face.

“Doctors haven’t given much of an update, but he’s alright. They’re taking him in for surgery in a few hours to help reset his hip.”

“And his head?” You faltered.

“There’s no serious damage,” she whispered.

You peered over her shoulder to where Beth sat, eyes meeting in a quiet understanding. There was still a tension running thick between you both, but those words from your mom were enough to soothe the surmounting anxiety inside you.

“Mom,” you sighed, tearing away from her embrace. “This is Joel.”

You motioned to Joel behind you, an eerie repeat of what had happened between him and Beth. Your mom stood frozen, her eyes widening as she stared at him. Joel cracked a welcoming smile, extending his hand out to her. No one moved, and his hand remained wavering in the stagnant air. 

“Mom?” You pressed.

She shook her head and opened her arms to Joel, inviting him in for a hug. It was strange but not entirely unexpected, considering the circumstances. 

“Hi, honey,” she said as she rocked Joel back and forth in the embrace. 

“Hi, Mrs. Smith,” Joel replied. You caught on to the way his biceps flexed around her, squeezing her just as tightly as he would with you. He was comforting her, and something softened inside you. 

Beth cleared her throat behind you, snapping you out of your thoughts. Your mom released Joel and turned towards Beth.

“She should go up and see him,” Beth told your mom.

“She is right here,” you snapped.

“Oh, now she wants to listen to me,” Beth snorted.

“Both of you!” Your mom shouted. “Enough!”

You shrunk away, folding yourself into Joel’s warm frame. The press of his body against yours quelled the anger rising back up, and you kept focus on his hands rubbing over your arms to keep from lashing out. Beth was pushing, and you knew exactly why.

“Listen, Beth, stay here and chill out,” your mom started. She glanced back at you and Joel before continuing. “Let’s go upstairs, and I’ll take you to see him.”

You followed your mom up to the ICU, your eyes shifting from one room to another. The repetition of machines beeping and murmurs of nurses through the hall slammed into your head like a hammer, and you found yourself clinging to Joel, twisting his cotton shirt until it stretched between your fingers. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Joel crooned. “I got you. Ain’t lettin’ you go.”

Mom guided you to the room where Stella was perched on a chair beside the bed. You averted your eyes from your dad, refusing to look. Stella turned to see you walk in and immediately sprinted into your arms, sobbing into your chest.

“I know. I know,” you cried.

“I was so scared it was going to happen again, sis,” she muttered. 

“They said he was okay, right? It’s not going to happen to him,” you assured. 

“But what if it does? What if he wakes up and doesn’t remember—.”

“Don’t,” you interjected. “Don’t say it.”

She peeled herself from you and wiped away her tears. Joel stepped forward, his hand pressed to your lower back, as he made his way to introduce himself.

“I’m Joel,” he smiled, extending his hand.

Stella flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling into his chest. Your mom watched them with a knowing look, something you couldn’t discern. 

“I’ve heard so much about you,” she sighed. 

Weird. You only really talked to Beth about Joel and didn’t expect her to share it with anyone except your mom. 

Joel rubbed her shoulders gently, then pulled away. 

“Likewise, Stell.”

Stell. You didn’t recall calling her that in front of Joel; that nickname was reserved for you and only you. Your head was pounding, and the nagging feeling that you were losing grip on reality was slowly settling in. You worked so hard to remember everything; it wouldn’t happen again. Not now. 

“You okay, sweetie?” Your mom cautioned, stepping beside you.

Her voice roused you from your confusion, and you made the mistake of looking at your dad for the first time. He looked so much smaller, lying in the hospital bed: a breathing tube situated under his nose and IVs running through the bend of his arm. Oh God, and his face. Both of his eyes were rimmed in dark bruises, and a thick layer of bandages was wrapped over his forehead. Was that how you looked all those years ago? Your stomach churned with nausea the longer you looked at him. The whirring of the machines in the room dizzied you, and you felt your body swaying in place. Joel quickly steadied you, his arms coming around your front to lock you into a tight hold. 

“You’re okay, baby,” he murmured into your ear. 

“Do you want to be alone with him, sweetie?” Your mom asked.

“Please,” you said, nodding. 

Joel kissed the crown of your head before following your mom and Stella out into the hall. You glanced over your shoulder to see them all huddled together, the cracked blinds inside the room obstructing your view of what they were saying. You’d ask Joel about it later.

Turning back to your dad, you let the real tears fall. The ugly, gut-wrenching ones you had held back for so long. Tears that weren’t just for him, but for you as well. No one in your family knew the fear and pain that came with a head injury. No one could understand you—not even Bennett, despite everything he tried to say and do. You were alone in its entirety, but you’d be damned if your dad dealt with the same. 

Cradling his hand in yours, you drew circles over his calloused skin with your thumb. You didn’t have words to express your pain, so you sat in silence. The constant repetition of machinery beeping throbbed through the recesses of your brain, a migraine looming on the horizon. You’d suffer with it later, but it would be worth it just to stay in this moment a few seconds longer.

“I love you, dad,” you whispered. 

You didn’t know if he could hear you, but you hoped he did. 

You remained silent for a few more minutes and glanced at the clock above the bed. 3: 13 AM. You hadn’t realized how much of the day had drained away, and the fatigue in your body was settling in rapidly. You wanted to lie down and wake up when everything was better, but it all came with time. And you hated that. You hated time and things it had stolen from you.

A light rap on the door startled you from your silent cocoon, and you turned to see Joel peeking in through the window. You motioned him to come in, and he bent beside the bed, his hand resting on your thigh.

“How ya’ doin’, baby?” He asked softly.

“I’m tired,” you lamented.

He smoothed his hand over your legs, the warmth of his touch radiating through your body. You leaned into his touch, letting your head rest on his.

“I’m gonna ask Beth if we can take the car and go home,” you said. “I can’t be here anymore, and I need sleep.”

“We can do that. Your mom said they’re gonna take him for surgery in a few, anyway. No point stickin’ around if we’d just be waitin’.”

“When he’s out of surgery, they can call me, and we can come back.”

“Sounds like a plan, baby. Let’s get you home.”

Joel offered to drive Beth’s car back to the house. You sat beside him, your head propped in your hand, watching as he drove through the city streets. Even cast in the late night sky, he was so handsome. The rich tan color of his skin seemed to be illuminated by the moonlight glinting through the windshield, his brown eyes softer than you’d ever seen. There wasn’t a trace of a smile on his lips, but he still looked so kind and so loving. Joel glanced over at you as the car slowed in front of the red light. 

“What’s that look for?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m just really thankful you’re here,” you exhaled. “I’m sorry you had to see me so angry earlier. It wasn’t fair of me to take it out on you.”

Joel leaned over the dash to pull you in for a soft, fleeting kiss.

“There’s a lot happenin’ right now, baby. Be angry all y’want. I can take it,” he said.

You chewed on your lip and nodded, turning your attention back to the street as the light turned green. Joel drove in silence the rest of the way to your parent's house, guiding him quietly with directions every few turns. Even though it had only been a few weeks since you were last home, the streets were scattered with yellow and orange leaves, autumn settling over the neighborhood. The car's tires flattened over them as Joel slowed to the front of the house and killed the engine. 

“This where y’grew up?” Joel asked, tilting his head toward the house.

You nodded, but your eyes were glued to the porch. The ladder was still lying on the ground; the metal pressed into the cold grass of the front lawn. Joel must’ve picked up on your fixation and sighed. 

“I’ll go pick it up, baby. Why don’t you grab your bag and head in, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” But your eyes didn’t stray from the ladder.

You watched Joel reach the ladder, his body a beacon under the moonlight. His tall figure moved against the cover of the night sky, working quickly to move it off to the side of the house. You took an extra moment to collect yourself before gathering your bags and meeting him on the porch. Joel took them immediately from your hands as you guided him into the house. You’d give him a tour of it tomorrow; you just wanted to curl under the covers of your bed and waste away. 

When you opened the door to your bedroom, Joel gave a low whistle, glancing around at the artifacts of your childhood. Miscellaneous pictures of you and your sisters hung on the walls, along with a collection of CDs stacked on the floor in one corner and a reading nook built into the windowsill. The dated white armoire was nestled against the wall beside your vanity, and the large queen bed sat untouched and nicely made with its white comforter and grey pillows. 

“Nice lil’ room y’got here, baby,” Joel chuckled.

“Yeah, it’s alright,” you shrugged.

You dumped your bag on the ground, collapsing backward until your back hit the bed with a soft thud. Joel followed your lead, and you both lay there silently, staring at the ceiling fan as it spun in circles. It was tempting just to succumb to sleep right in that moment, but you knew you needed a shower to wash off the lingering stress of the day. 

“Come shower with me?” You asked, glancing over at Joel.

“Of course.”

The heat of the shower pelted your skin as Joel rubbed a loufa into your back muscles, working out the knots that had materialized through the long day. You basked in the warmth of his body pressed into yours, your head falling back against his muscular chest and eyes drifting shut. His tender touch helped alleviate the pressure building in your head, and you prayed that the migraine would subside soon enough. 

“Doin’ okay, baby?” He asked, his mouth pressing into the side of your neck.

You hummed at his lips on your skin, bringing your arm up to wrap around the back of his neck. His fingers drifted over the curves of your body, squeezing your hips softly before trailing between your legs.

“Can I?” 

“Mhmm,” you sighed, shifting your body slightly so that he could explore further.

His hand dipped between your legs, your arousal already pooling at your entrance. He was slow with his touch, each graze of his fingers over your sensitive bud eliciting a soft moan from your lips. Joel’s mouth roamed over the expanse of your neck as he continued to draw circles over your throbbing clit. Your fingers tugged at his wet curls, urging him closer. The blood coursing through your veins thrummed with pleasure as he teased the build-up of your release. 

“You’re beautiful, baby. Y’know that?” He whispered in your ear.

Maybe it was the gentle touch of his fingers or his words swimming through your mind, but your climax shattered you into pieces in record time. Your thighs clenched tight around his hand as you let out a soft cry. 

“That’s it,” he crooned. “Let go, baby.”

You slumped against his body, your heart settling back into a normal rhythm. Joel held you close, wrapping his arms around your front and swaying you under the spray of the water. Your eyes grew heavy the longer you remained in his embrace, so you decided to cut the water and drag him out and into bed. 

Under the security of your comforter, you clung to Joel and buried your head into the crook of his arm. He traced circles over your bare arm, letting you lay quietly against him. The familiar pressure of a migraine began forming in your mind, the pounding ache settling behind your eyes. You squeezed your eyes tighter, curling yourself up into his body in hopes it would fade away as you slept. 

“What’s wrong?” Joel asked, noticing the tension paralyzing your muscles.

“Migraine,” you choked out. 

“What do y’need? I can go get it.”

“No, I’m fine,” you lied. “Just stay here. Please.”

“These happen often?”

“Not in a while.” You couldn’t find the strength to form complete sentences, so the words came out choppy and pained.

“Will sleep help?” 

“I hope,” you muttered, tears slipping down your cheeks.

Joel’s arms tightened around your body, anchoring you to his side as he hummed softly into your hair. Pain pulsated through your head as you forced yourself to fall asleep, your limbs shaking as they wrapped around his torso. 

All you wanted was for the pain to go away. 

A few hours later, the morning light dancing through the window stirred you awake. The residual aching pain in your head still lingered, but it was far more manageable than it had been before you fell asleep. Joel snored softly beside you, and you took the chance to watch him as he slept peacefully beside you. The creases in his skin were softened in his slumber, his face relaxed and calm. His lips were parted slightly, the bottom one plush and pouty and tempting to kiss. You nestled into his body, your mouth roaming over his scruffy jaw and eventually reaching his lips. The strange urge to say I love you nearly tumbled out of your mouth as you kissed him, but you swallowed it and saved it away. It was the first time you thought those three little words in the space with someone other than Bennett. Knowing Joel was digging closer to your heart, breaking down every barrier and wall, it was still frightening. But if this sudden trip had taught you anything, he was right; this was real. You weren’t ready to confess those words, but in time you would. 

Just not now. 

Joel roused himself from sleep, groaning softly as he pulled you in for a gentle kiss. 

“Mornin’, baby. How’s your head feelin’?”

“Better,” you sighed. 

“Ready to go back to the hospital?”

You groaned, shoving your head under the comforter. 

“I hate it there.”

He squeezed your side, urging you back up to the surface. Your eyes connected with his, the morning light coloring his eyes a rich shade of amber. Flecks of gold scattered through his irises, blending into the rich chocolate brown you were drawn to. 

“Why do y’hate it so much?” He wondered.

“I—I just don’t have good memories of it.”

“Y’wanna talk to me ‘bout it?”

You rolled onto your back, closing your eyes as the memories waded through the headache still swimming in your head. 

“Bennett, there’s a chance this could actually work,” you begged. 

“I’m not risking it. What if it doesn’t work and things get worse?” He argued. “Isn’t it easier to just move forward?”

You rubbed circles into your temples, trying to soften the onset migraine surging to the surface. All this arguing was making you nauseous and tired. Why wouldn’t Bennett be on your side about this? Why wasn’t he agreeing with you?

“I want to remember,” you lamented. “I want those two years back.”

“The doctors said it’ll take time. Why isn’t that enough?” Bennett sighed, crouching down to meet you at eye level. 

“You don’t understand, Bennett.”

“I’m trying,” he snapped. 

It was the first time you’d experienced his anger in such a way. He wasn’t taking your side, and he wasn’t even listening to your requests. You could only nod and cave to his arguments; he was the one holding the power now. You had to trust him. 

Situating yourself against the headboard, you inhaled sharply and glanced at Joel. 

“I might as well tell you since everyone is on my case about it,” you groaned. 

“Only if you wanna, baby. I ain’t gonna force you,” Joel sighed, looking up at you.

Giving yourself a moment to gather your thoughts, you dove into the story.

“I was in an accident when I was twenty-two, or I guess twenty-four. The last thing I remember was being twenty-two and just moving to Austin with Bennett. We had just moved into our apartment, and I was about to start substitute teaching while finishing my Master's degree. Everything was great. Then, I got in an accident on the way home from school, and the next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital. 

“I guess in the crash, my head hit the dashboard hard enough to cause serious damage to my brain. They—the doctors, told me I had sustained enough trauma to cause retrograde amnesia. I woke up thinking I was still twenty-two, Joel. I lost two years of my life. I couldn’t remember a single thing.”

“Oh, baby. I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” he whispered, propping himself on his elbows. 

“Bennett tried to fill me in on pieces of it, but trying to remember did more damage than anything,” you continued. “I had migraines all the time. I could barely function for the first couple of months, and that’s when my parents talked me into coming back here. To Mass General. They ran so many tests on me and tried to find solutions, but there was no hope. Bennett was adamant about not causing any more damage to my brain, so I just gave up,” you explained. 

“You gave up tryin’ to remember?” He asked, pulling himself up to sit beside you. There was a deep furrow between his brows and a noticeable shift in his body language. Everything was tense, from his jaw to how his fists clenched together. 

“Yeah. I trusted Bennett with the memories I no longer had and knew he would take care of me. Or at least, I hoped he would. The doctors suggested I stay in Boston to go through psychotherapy to help try and piece together those memories, but Bennett was against it. It caused a huge riff in my family since they wanted me to stay and get help.”

“He kept you from rememberin’ things,” Joel frowned.

You nodded, digging your knuckles into your eyes to try and push away the pressure building behind them again. 

“We were here for almost two months, just constantly going in and out of the hospital. I’d have these debilitating migraines that would lead to fainting spells, so I was always back at the emergency room for more testing. The outcome was always the same, though. I felt so defeated every time like it was my fault,” you confessed. 

Joel laid a hand on your thigh, smoothing over your skin as you tried to drag in a lungful of air. 

“It ain’t your fault though, baby,” he assured.

“I should have advocated for myself more. I just did whatever Bennett said because he knew things I couldn’t remember. He even proposed here. He made this big, long speech about how he never wanted to face the fear of losing me again, and I went with it because I loved him. I loved him enough to do whatever he said because I owed it to him.”

“You were tryna heal from everythin’,” he offered, trying to make sense of it all. “It’s not your fault for what happened after.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes.

“But it is,” you argued. “It’s my fault Bennett left. If I thought our fights before the crash were bad… It only got worse. We moved out of our apartment and got this big house. We decided to speed through our engagement for the sake of my fucking memory. All the while, Bennett just started to get angrier and angrier. I was trying so hard to remember things, and he just started to remember less. He was always fighting with me over every little thing. He barely touched me or looked at me. For fuck sake, he wouldn’t even sleep in the same bed as me! It’s like he didn’t want me to have those memories back, and I just—I don’t understand why.”

Joel pulled your head into his hands, his eyes darkening as he stared at you. His thumbs rubbed over your cheekbones in an attempt to calm your rambling. You wanted to flinch away from his touch, but he only held you tighter.

“None of this is your fault,” he emphasized. 

“It is, though,” you sniffled. The tears were ready to slip at any moment. “He wanted the girl I was before the crash, and I was so hell-bent on trying to fix my memory that I stopped being that version of myself. I couldn’t be what he wanted, so he left. I wasn’t enough, Joel. I couldn’t fight for him to stay because he didn’t want me. I—I’m so fucked up, Joel.”

Joel’s nostrils flared, a wash of anger clouding his eyes. But you knew it wasn’t anger toward you. It was toward Bennett.

“Hey, don’t talk like that,” he snapped. “You’re not fucked up. Bennett was an asshole, and I swear I’d kill him if I could.”

“That’s not funny,” you deadpanned. 

“It wasn’t meant to be funny, baby. I’m serious. Ain’t no way y’went through hell and back for him to do that to you. Y’didn’t get the time to heal because you were so focused on tryin’ to make him happy, and he didn’t deserve you. You know that, right? None of this is your fault.”

You shrugged off his hands and scooted out of the warmth of the bed. Digging through your bag, you pulled out a change of clothes, carelessly throwing an outfit together while Joel sat motionless on the bed. 

“Baby,” Joel pleaded. “Stop for a minute, ‘kay? Are you listenin’ to me?”

He threw back the covers and strode to where you stood, your arms halfway into a sweater. He helped tug it the rest of the way, settling it over your body before reeling you in for a long kiss. It was his weapon for shutting you up, and he was really fucking good at using it. You dragged yourself away from his mouth, staggering back until there was enough distance between you and him. 

“I should have fucking listened to everyone,” you heaved. “I should have fucking stayed in Boston, but I wanted to prove I could do it. I wanted to prove I could continue living with this fucked up part of myself.”

Joel cautioned your name, and you took another step back.

“Look at me, Joel!” You laughed. “I’m fucked up! I still can’t remember a damn fucking thing, and being here is only a brutal reminder of that. I lost so much of myself because of that accident. And I swear to God, if I lose my dad, too. I—I can’t…”

Your knees hit the ground before it even registered in your mind. Joel was quick to drop to the floor in front of you, pulling you into his lap as the sobs wracked through your body. You rocked yourself back and forth as Joel’s arms wound into a vice around your chest. He hushed you softly as you audibly cried loud enough to echo around the room. 

“You aren’t gonna lose him,” Joel whispered in your ear. 

“What if—.” You choked on another cry.

“Breathe with me, baby. Just breathe. C’mon.”

Joel inhaled loudly, coaxing you to do the same. You followed his lead, exhaling when he instructed to. You both repeated it a few more times until you felt the surge of emotions slow. 

“That’s it, baby,” he sighed. “I’m right here with you. Everythin’ is gonna be okay.”

You burrowed your head into his chest, your tears dampening his bare chest. How was he not running away from you? You laid all your damaged pieces out, and he still had his arms around you. You didn’t deserve it. You couldn’t make sense of it.

“What do y’say we get back to the hospital?” Joel offered after a moment. “We can check in and see how the surgery went. It’ll give you some peace of mind.”

“Okay,” you acquiesced. 

Joel helped you to your feet, and you both finished changing in silence. You grabbed your purse and followed Joel to the car, and you both returned to Mass General. 

“He’s fine, honey,” your mom said, giving you a weak smile.

You were all crowded in the hospital room surrounding your dad as he lay unconscious on the bed. 

“The doctors say he’s going to make a full recovery,” she continued. “They’re going to slow the sedative down, and hopefully, he’ll be waking up in the next day or so.”

Beth and Stella stood close together, Stella’s head resting on Beth’s shoulder. Their expressions were painted with relief, and you felt your muscles loosen at the news.

“So, we just wait?” You asked. 

“We will wait,” your mom corrected. “You and Joel should go back to Austin. There’s no point sticking around now that we know he’s alright.”

You turned to stare at her, your lips twisting into a scowl.

“I am not leaving until he wakes up,” you argued. 

“We’ll call right when he wakes up,” she offered. “I know being here is hard for you, honey. And you’ve got a job that needs you.”

“Mom!” You shouted. It was loud enough to startle everyone. “I’m not leaving.”

“She’s right, baby,” Joel chimed in. “He’s gonna be okay.”

“I want to stay.”

“Look, let’s make a deal. We stay another day and then go home, okay?”

You glanced between everyone in the room, finally settling your eyes on your dad, still unconscious in the bed. Everyone was right, but you didn’t want to leave yet. You weren’t ready. Even if being here felt like hell. 

“One more day,” you agreed.

You remained at the hospital most of the day, shifting between the waiting room and your dad’s room. Everyone took turns visiting him and meeting with doctors, and Joel stayed at your side every minute. Stella took a liking to him most out of everyone, spending a good majority of the time talking his ear off about Sarah. Seeing Joel engage with her as he did was endearing as if they knew each other and were old friends catching up. He treated everyone in your family so kindly that it was hard to continue shoving down those three little words. You wanted to say them more than ever…but weren’t sure when you’d feel ready. 

Eventually, the day faded into night, and your mom urged everyone to go home while she insisted on staying. You didn’t know when she had slept last, but she was adamant about staying with your dad. Beth drove you all home, humming some song that floated through the radio. As the house came into view, she dialed down the volume and turned toward the backseat. 

“Joel, Stella, will you guys head in while I talk to sis?” Beth asked as she parked the car.

You gave her a confused stare as they filed out and walked up the driveway toward the house. 

“Did you tell him?” She asked, turning to look at you.

Her eyes were dark with heavy circles, and her lips stuck in a straight line.

“I did,” you nodded.

“What did he say?”

“He just sympathized with me. There’s not much else to say,” you shrugged. 

“That’s it?” She pressed, her brows scrunching together.

You scoffed, glancing out the side window. 

“What did you want him to say, Beth? There isn’t much to say when you tell someone your memory is all fucked up.”

“I just figured he’d say more,” she offered.

“Like what?” You snapped. “Nothing he says is going to magically make it better.”

“I know, I know. I just thought he’d say more.”

You stared at her, the tiredness creeping into your bones. You didn’t want to argue anymore, not about this or anything.

“Can we just go in? I’m tired,” you said.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Beth and Stella offered to make dinner that night, all four of you quietly eating in heavy silence as the evening drifted later. Once dinner was all said and done, you and Joel retired to your room, curling up under the covers once again. You tangled your legs between his and kissed up his chest and under his jaw.

“Baby,” he warned. “The girls are right down the hall. Don’t be doin’ that.”

“Why?” You questioned, continuing the path up his cheek and to his lips.

Joel captured your mouth in a hungry kiss, his hands tangling in your hair. You moaned softly as the kiss depended, his hands roaming over your body.

“I want you, Joel,” you whispered against his mouth.

“Baby, we can’t,” he groaned. But he didn’t stop kissing you.

He rolled his body over yours, pinning you to the bed as his hand slid under your pajama bottoms. You bucked into his hand, searching for a fleeting touch to quell the ache growing between your thighs. Joel responded to your desperation, slipping a finger between your slick folds. 

“I’ll be quiet,” you promised. “Just keep kissing me.”

Joel relented to your pleas, locking his mouth with yours again. He added another finger, plunging them inside you as you cried out at the pressure. His teeth quickly bit down on your bottom lip, a silent demand to keep your voice down.

“Sorry,” you exhaled.

“Be good for me, baby,” he whispered. 

His fingers abandoned you, but it was barely a moment of loss before he sank his cock into you. You used all your strength to hold back a groan of relief as the slight sting of your body stretching to him faded into bliss. Joel kept his hands tangled in your hair as he rocked into you, your bodies moving in unison as he drove himself deeper with each thrust. 

“Joel…” You whimpered against his mouth.

“Stay quiet, baby.”

His mouth roamed down the column of your throat, sucking gently at your skin as he reached one arm down to hook around the back of your knee. The change in position only sent his cock deeper inside you, your core clenching around him with every drive of his hips. 

“It feels so good,” you panted, rolling your hips. “I’m so close, Joel. Don’t stop.”

“Good girl,” he hummed. “Cum for me, baby.”

His hips snapped harder against you, and you bit back another cry of pleasure. Your body thrummed with the need for release, the waves crashing inside you growing stronger. Just a little more… a little more. Joel’s other hand snaked between your bodies, his fingers brushing over your clit. You arched into his touch and ground your nails into the skin of his biceps. 

“Joel,” you choked.

The orgasm exploded through you, fogging your vision as your core pulsated around his cock. Joel let out a strangled groan and tumbled over the edge with you, his release filling you only seconds later. 

Joel collapsed against your body, his cock slipping out of you as it softened. You welcomed the weight of him, letting his skin meld into yours. I love you. It was just a breath from escaping your lips, but you kept it shoved down. 

Another time, you told yourself. 

“Can I sleep like this?” Joel chuckled, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Whatever you want, handsome,” you giggled. 

He peered up at you, a grin curving over his face.

“There’s that word again,” he smirked.

“Oh, shut up. You like it.”

“I really fuckin’ do.”

You bent your neck to kiss his forehead before settling back against the pillow. It was easier to sleep like this, knowing you’d have him in your arms when you woke up. It made everything inside you hurt less. 

After an extra day at the hospital, nothing new had progressed with your dad. Your mom assured you that she would call if she had any news of him waking up, so you and Joel said your goodbyes and made the trip back to Austin. 

Nothing had changed in Austin, not that you were expecting it to. Joel returned home after spending an extra few hours under your bed sheets with you, groaning about not wanting to leave. You urged him to go, knowing Sarah was probably missing him. That first night home alone was the hardest; the nightmares continued again now that you had no distractions. The migraine had returned at full throttle when you woke up the next morning, and you had to make an extra effort to pull yourself from bed and dress for work. Not a single cell in your body wanted to return to a classroom full of loud kids, but you had missed enough days and needed to make up for lost time. 

Maria was the first to drill you with questions as you arrived at the school. 

“Is everything okay? I asked around and only heard that it was a family emergency.”

You shuffled into your classroom, Maria hot on your heels. You could barely stand the stream of light coming through the windows, let alone the sound of her voice.

“My dad had an accident, that’s all,” you assured. “Everything is okay.”

“Oh, thank God he’s okay.” She flung her arms around you, giving you a suffocating hug.

You peeled away from her, steadying your body against the corner of your desk. 

“I’ll tell you more later, okay? I just need to prep for classes before the first bell.”

“I’ll check in on you later,” she announced before leaving. 

The day moved on slowly, and before you knew it, your final class was over. As the students filed out, you started gathering your things but noticed Sarah lingered behind.

“Everything okay, sweetie?” You asked as she approached your desk.

“Um, kinda?” She gave you a sheepish look. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Of course, sweetheart. What’s going on?”

She shifted her weight between her legs, her hazel eyes on the floor.

“Are you dating my dad?”

Your breath stalled, and you were unsure of what to say or do. Was it appropriate to lie? You and Joel hadn’t discussed the possibility of her finding out much and now was definitely not the time.

“Why do you ask?” You were deflecting.

“I overheard him talking to my Uncle Tommy last night,” she explained. 

Your heart pounded in your chest, and blood rushed through your ears. God, what had they said? What did she hear?

“Go on,” you insisted, your voice unsteady. 

“My dad told Uncle Tommy he loved you.”

At that moment, her hazel eyes met yours, and everything came crashing down. You tripped over your words and found yourself gripping the desk.

“Miss Smith?” Sarah cautioned. 

“I’m sure your dad was talking about someone else,” you lied. “Why don’t you head home? I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

She looked at you with confusion written all over her face but eventually followed your request and left you in an empty room.

You sank into your chair, pinching the bridge of your nose. You knew Joel’s feelings were there for you, but you didn’t want to hear it from Sarah. You wanted to hear it from him. Searching for your purse, you found your phone and dialed his number with shaking hands.

He answered immediately.

“Did y’hear from your mom?” He asked in a rush.

“No, it’s not that. Can you—” You steadied your breathing. “Can you just meet me at my house?”

“Of course, is everythin’ okay? You’re worryin’ me.”

“I’m fine, Joel. I’ll see you there in a few.”

You hung up before he could say anymore and be-lined for your car. You drove home on autopilot, the words jumbling together in your head. 

I think he’s already falling in love with you. 

My dad told Uncle Tommy he loved you.

Over and over again, Beth and Sarah’s voices played on a loop. You turned onto your street and blinked back tears. You weren’t ready to face this. What were you going to say? What would Joel say? What would—

You slammed on your brakes right before you got to your house. 

Joel’s truck wasn’t there. 

But Bennett’s car was.

#joel x reader #joel miller x reader #joel x f!reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel x teacher!f!reader #joel miller #tlou #tlou fanfic #joel miller fanfic #pre outbreak!joel #angst angst angst #joel miller smut #joel miller tlou

[josibunn]

Sick n nasty.

hihi!! my minds been FILLED with euro, and how nasty he’d be with you. sick reader x euronymous, he won’t leave you alone bc he wants a kiss so he takes it. smut! obvi, super gross sorry, uhh lotsa praise, lovesick, pussy drunk euro, L bomb dropped and makes him go crazier :3 he just can’t resist you like this ): comment to be on a tag list and rq are always open!

there was a flu going around, almost everyone in the circle had caught it or just gotten over it. you caught it, but euronymous hasn’t. and as stupid as it is, he prides himself in being the last one standing.

“you still feelin’ bad baby?” he asked softly, coming into your shared room with a cup in hand. he had been taking care of you, even though you told him to stay away. he was feeding you, bathing you, helping you with your skincare, you felt like a granny in a nursing home, and he was your hot goth nurse.

“yeah,” you frown, “can you turn the air down? my toes are blue..” you wiggle your toes out of the blanket for him to see, and he chuckled.

“poor baby, don’t die on me,” he rubs your head as he sets the drink on the nightstand, wrapping you back up in the covers. you loved how affectionate he was being, you were bathing in it, even if it was because you were sick. I mean, sure, you were his girlfriend, and he treated you as such, but now you were his sick, helpless girlfriend. he couldn’t not be cute towards you, you were his stray sidewalk cat.

“i’m gonna make you some food, ok? need somethin’ hot on your stomach,” he rubbed your leg as he bent down to kiss you, but you turned your head, “no, you can’t.”

he pauses. “..why’s that?” “because i’m sick, and if you kiss me you’ll get sick too, and I don’t want you to feel like this,” you shook your head as he raised back up.

“i’ve been around you all day, i’ll be fine,” he leaned back down, but this time you held his face away, “Øystein, you can’t. you’re gonna get infected!” you kept pushing his face away as he tried to overpower you, holding your thighs. he was succeeding, your weak arms barely doing anything.

before he could put his lips on you you moved to the side on the bed, covering your face, making him sigh deeply, standing back up. “it’s for your own good Øystein,” you say from your hands.

“..i’m gonna make your soup, when I come back you better give me a fuckin’ kiss, sick or not,” you heard his feet run down the stairs and you sighed, whining knowing he wasn’t gonna let up.

you bundled yourself back up, matching whatever movie was on and sipping your tea he made. you were in his shirt and your panties with like, four blankets atop of you. he was being so caring, and it made you feel so warm. euronymous wasn’t the type to baby you, not in public at least, but it was like he was a totally different man.

you could hear him coming back up, “when I went to the store, the spaghetti noodles were black, because it’s fall or some shit. for the next few days we’re gonna have the metal-ist spaghetti ever,” he sat your soup and his coke on the little end table, and his enthusiasm made you giggle.

“thank you for takin’ care of me euronymous,” you smile, rubbing your puffy eyes. “if you’re gonna die, it’s gonna be from that suicide pact, not some fuckin’ flu.” he leaned in to kiss you again, but you held his cheeks away.

“Euronymous no!” you giggle. “you’re gonna get sick!” “[y/n], I don’t fucking care. gimme a goddamn kiss,” he puckered his lips, and you laughed again.

“it’s for your own good,” “I dont get sick! i’ve been around you for days and i’m fine,” he gritted his teeth, and then he grabbed you by your throat, making your breath hitch before he pulled you back and kissed you roughly, your legs falling limp. he knew you couldn’t resist him when he choked you.

you whine in the kiss, “Øystein..” your hand holds his wrist softly as he squeezes your throat, making you gasp and moan. “just one kiss baby,” he whispers, his hand holding your legs apart with a tight grip as he slid between them.

you felt yourself salivate, god you felt dirty, you were going against everything you just denied him, but you couldn’t help it, you loved how he manhandled you to his liking. the holding your legs apart, the choking, the forced kiss, the way he wouldn’t let you pull away, it made you braindead.

“open,” he commands, tapping your legs. you obey mindlessly, exposing yourself to him. your white cotton panties did nothing to hide your wet spot he’d created. “you’re so messy baby,” he chuckled lightly as he continues to kiss you, hand still on your throat as his lengthy fingers ran down your clothed pussy, rubbing you, making your legs jolt and you let out a tiny moan.

“ya’ think this pussys sick too, princess?” he coos, looking down into your eyes as he tugged off your panties, watching you shake your head dumbly. he loved you like this, so helpless n stupid, it brought out something primal in him.

“she’s so swollen n teary, think she needs a little home remedy, yeah?” he makes you look into his eyes as he slides a finger in, watching your eyes widen as you suck in a breath, letting out a loud moan soon after, a grin plastered on his face.

“you’re so nasty,” you sigh, mouth falling open with moans falling out as he slowly pumps his finger into you, his eyes low and lustrous. “so you don’t want my help? but she’s so under the weather, shame,” he stopped.

“no,” you shake your head, a hand on his shoulder, “n-no keep goin’, please,” you whimper, pulling his hand closer.

“that’s what I fuckin’ thought,” he slipped his second finger into you, making you yelp and arch your back, bringing your legs higher as you watched him finger fuck you, his lip tucked between his teeth as he could feel his cock strain against his pajama pants, already making a mess of himself with all the precum that was leaking from him.

he watched your face, your mouth agape and your eyes shut, brows knit together as whine, hand holding the back of his neck and holding him closer. “you’re so, so pretty like this baby,” he smiles, you break him down to bits, everyone teases him for how soft you make him. he just can’t help it, you’re his princess, his baby.

“i’m all sick and gross,” you frown, your eyes foggy with lust as you looked into his eyes that were probably heart shaped, he was so whipped by you. “no, no you’re so pretty like this,” he scissored his fingers inside of you, and your eyes widened and rolled back along with your head, letting out a loud, drawn out moan, hands tightening on his skin.

“oh euronymous, øystein,” you moan, chest heaving. “fuck me. fuck me. please baby..” you whine desperately, lip pouty as you sniffled. his cock jumped at the sight, curling his fingers so they’d be in a bunny ear shape. you were already a nasty puddle of your own slick, chasing your release as you grinded lazily on his fingers.

“fuck you? but you’ll get me sick baby,” he taunted, pushing your chest softly to lay you on your back.

“euronymousss,” you whine, looking up at him as you rested on your elbows, and he chuckles at you, sitting up on his knees, pulling his hard dick out from behind his pajama pants, his tip red oozing for you.

“i’m kidding. don’t worry your pretty little head, ok? i’ll make you feel better,” he lulls you, rubbing his tip against your puffy clit and down your folds, gathering your wetness.

he almost slid in easily had he’d been so big, but as always his stretch knocked the wind out of you as he inches into you slowly. you let out a drawn, “ooooooh fuuck,” eyes closed and brows furrowed, head thrown back as you arched off the bed. he held your legs up by your thighs as he bottomed out, watching you engulf his size so well.

“always do it so good for me baby, so good,” he tilts his head as he watches your pussy clench around him, a small blushy smile on his face. “take it so well, even when you’re all sick and sloppy,” he leans down and kisses you, simultaneously pushing your legs further up and to your chest, sinking his cock deeper into you once his lips collided with yours, and you couldn’t help but moan into his mouth, holding his bare back and the back of his head.

he fucks you slowly, each deep stroke laced with love as he kissed you nastily, his tongue all in your mouth dancing with yours, spit covering your guys lips and around the mouth. you pull away for air, a string of drool connecting you two, breathing heavily as you look into his eyes, both of your eyes low and pupils blown, moaning and groaning into each others mouth. he was definitely getting sick after this.

“oh baby, ohh baby,” you moan shakily, a desperate look on your face as he nods, you didn’t even say anything and he understood, he knew how bad you wanted him, seeing as you two haven’t had sex since you got your bug. “I know princess, I promise,” he whispers, biting his lip.

you two were so close, your boobs pushed against his chest, your shirt being the only thing against each other. his nose bumped yours each time he rocked into you, and his hair was the only thing in your peripheral vision as it hung down. your love for each other was nauseating.

“you’re so good, s’good t’me,” you slur, mouth agape and your tongue slightly out. “love you, love you so much baby,” you moan, and the way he looked at you made your tummy flip.

“yeah? you love me baby?” he nodded, eyes steady on yours. “mhm, love you so much, so so much,” you smile, holding him closer.

he swallows hard, “fuck,” he ducks his head into your neck. “damn fuckin’ right you do.” he starts to slam deep into you, catching off guard, making you choke on your breath and moan loud and high, eyes widening.

“Øystein!” you moan out, nails digging into his back as he rams into you, abusing that sweet spot. “my baby loves me so much, yeah? loves me so much,” he mumbles in a breath, wrapping his arms around you and shoves you down onto his length to match his thrust, your body arching to his chest and your toes curling, legs falling limp as he fucks you stupid.

you’re barely able to moan, babbling nonsense as your orgasm runs through you, shaking around him and scratching down his back. “fucking deserves it, ain’t that right?” he breaths, knowing you can’t answer. “you fuckin’ deserve it, my pretty girl. good girl,” his lips smoosh against your shoulder, sort of drooling. he was on cloud nine, the only thing in his head being the repeating mantra of you telling you you love him.

“good fuckin’ girl, my girl, that loves me,” he says and groans loudly, squeezing his eyes. “baby, baby i’m gonna cum, oh you’re so fuckin’ good,” you moan, tears rolling down your cheek as you shake and squirm around him, euronymous not letting up his pace.

“mm, mmm yeah, cum baby. cum on this fucking cock, cock that you love,” you almost giggled at how he just kept repeating those words had you weren’t so overwhelmed with pleasure, squeezing him and lying your head onto his. “that’s it baby, yeah. so fuckin’ good for me.”

he lifts up and grabs your face, smashing his lips back onto yours, one of his elbows keeping him up on his side as he slams his hips into yours brutally, your moans high and broken as you try kiss back. “m’gonna fuck you up,” he rasps, kissing you hungrily as he moans, and you could tell he was close with the way his thrusts got harder and slower.

“gonna ruin you, my girl , loves me, fucking god,” he babbles as he pulls away, grabbing your legs and ramming into you a few good times before cumming hard into you, groaning shakily into your mouth.

you two huff n puff as you try n come down together, euronymous laying atop of you and holding you in his arms, mumbling against you as you hold him, eyes shut.

“hey.” he turns his head to look up at you. “you really love me?” he asks, cheeks pink and eyes wide. “mhm, love you so much.”

he nodded, blushing even more as he smiles sheepily, “I love you too,” he giggled like a girl, laying on your chest.

this is probably my fav one so far, so sweet I love making him sweet :3 I hope you enjoyed! also I hc R!euronymous walks around in pajamas with no underwear🤓☝🏽

#x black reader #rory culkin #rory culkin smut #euronymous smut #lords of chaos smut #lords of chaos #euronymous #mayhem #eurory prompt

[hellishjoel]

burning desire

10.3k // pairing:dbf/neighbor!joel x f!reader

Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3

summary: An argument with your mother before family dinner leaves Joel worried about you. He sneaks you away to grab a drink and talk about what’s on your mind. 

warnings: MA 18+ (minors DNI), no outbreak, dbf/neighbor!joel, soft-hot-protective!joel, rocky mother-daughter relationship (this one ain't for the weak - mommy issues galore) & discussions of verbal fighting, slight clues of abandonment issues, smut, swearing, age gap (reader is in her early 20s, Joel in his 40s), pet names, praise!kink activated, unprotected p in v (yes finally, the edging is over), mentions of birth control,  slight cockwarming if you squint, slight degradation kink

A/N: I crave three things after writing this chapter: Joel, Joel Miller, Joel fucking Miller. Also, I’m almost done with The Last of Us Part 1 :(( sad that it’s ending, but it’s been so much fun to play! Enjoy this chapter <3 

Your parents make good on their invitation and ask Joel over for dinner. A steak dinner, to be exact. Paired with wine, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a pie your parents picked up from the local bakery in town. 

You sort of hope Joel pulls out his long list of excuses to evade any awkwardness. 

Sorry, can’t tonight. I’m finishin’ up somethin’ for work. Can’t wait another day. 

Or,

Hey, maybe another night. Not feelin’ too hot. 

When in reality, it’s more like, 

I can’t come over for dinner tonight because I might bend your daughter over my truck if I see her again. 

As active as you and Joel have been, you have yet to hit a home run in lewd baseball terms. In fact, all the bases in your and Joel’s game were totally screwed up. You hit third base before you hit first, and you weren’t even sure if there was a second base. It was all just so confusing now. 

But you wanted the home run, you wanted Joel, you desired him in that light. You wondered if he was ready for it. 

Screwed over by your father asking Joel over for dinner and screwed over by Joel agreeing, you had no other choice but to sit through it and act like everything was normal. 

And everything was normal for the first half of the day before you and your mother got into it. 

The argument was recycled. You wished she would come up with better material. But it always came down to what you wanted to do after this summer since you recently graduated. And that was an ongoing war. 

After two door slams, your mother retreating to her bunker, and you finding shelter in the bathroom, you’d say today’s battle was over. 

You sit on the floor, bare feet touching cold tile. In a way, it soothes your shaky body. 

No matter how old you get, this feeling never seems to waver with its intensity. The feeling that no one’s listening, no matter how hard you scream for them to hear you. Regardless of how often you have these conversations, you become a small child again, being scolded and told that what you thought and wanted wasn’t right. 

You managed to collect your journal expertly hidden in your bedroom before fleeing to the safety of the bathroom. You flip open the pages with teary eyes. 

You wish you didn’t have to admit that this was your safe space. On the bathroom floor, back flushed against the dark wood door as you closed your eyes and tried to calm your breathing. 

June 17th  2:28 P.M. 

Mom started a fight with me about not traveling again. She says it’s crucial for me to start my career immediately. I don’t even know what I want to be yet. 

You have to pause to blink back tears. You wish you had your life figured out like it felt everyone else did. 

Why does she have to care so much that I want to leave for a little bit? It’s not like it’s forever. There’s so much more out there. I’ve studied miscellaneous classes for four years and want a break. Why do we always have to have this conversation over and over again? She always asks how I will take care of student loans and bills. I have repeatedly told her that I’ve been saving up for a while to do this. She keeps saying she wants what’s best for me and doesn’t want me to start my career too late. She says it’s hard to let me go.

I love her, and I appreciate her support through school, but school is what taught me about independence as well as academics. I want to live my life and have experiences you can only get by leaving home for a little bit. Maybe then I’ll better understand what I want for my future. 

Your writing pauses, and you stare straight ahead at the beige wall, blurry eyes reading another cheesy sign. Bathroom - Open 24 Hours - Seat Yourself. 

You decide to spare a moment of your mother’s casualties and pencil in something else that’s been recently stirring. 

I’ve been seeing Joel Miller casually since the start of this summer. I can’t believe I’m even writing this. It’s weird -- but in a way, it’s also not? He’s older by like a mile, but he’s familiar, comfortable. Easy to talk to. It doesn’t feel like he’s judging me. I’m not trying to read too much into it, but this summer sucks less because of Joel. Whether he knows it or not. 

---

You and your mother work around each other while setting up dinner in the backyard garden. She steps back inside to grab more wine glasses. 

You’ve put on a nice summer dress. The hem lands somewhere on your thighs and flows with the breeze. After sobbing on the cold bathroom tile for an hour, you don't feel very pretty, but eating outside and soaking up some fresh air might make you feel better.

“Hey, sweetheart.” 

Joel Miller was the largest, broadest, lumberjack-est man you had ever met, but he moved as quietly as a mouse. Your eyes blink a few times as you haphazardly set down the bowl of mashed potatoes on the circular table. 

“Hi.”

Your voice is raw and red, softer than usual. Joel seems to instantly take notice. You see it in the way his eyes soften. He moves a little closer, hands resting on the back of one of the white outdoor dining chairs. 

Your face probably reads more panicky than intended. He picks up on your faulty mood and assumes the worst. 

“Do they.. Do they know?” He asks, eyebrows knitted with a deep furrow in between. 

Your eyes go doe-ish, shaking your head and occupying your hands with a spare cloth napkin.

“What? No. Why would you think that?” 

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have to. He takes one long look over your being and you feel it in the space between you. 

Somethin’s wrong. 

Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, Joel. 

He tilts his head, eyes narrowing on you more. 

Suddenly, you felt exposed. Like someone had ripped the curtain open on you. No one had ever seen right through you like this before. It was unsettling, but god, you just wanted to lean right into it. 

If your parents weren’t just inside, you’d walk right into his front and curl your head in his chest just under the hook of his chin. You’d close your eyes and wrap your small arms around his waist. 

He’d encircle you in his big, protective arms and shield you from the pain you’ve felt today. You’d listen to his heart thrumming against his chest, using the rhythm to try and slow down your breathing while he whispers to you in his sweet southern drawl.

S’alright, sweetheart. Everything’s gonna be okay. I see you tryin’. 

His eyes flitter into light again, ease passing across his features. 

“Like the dress.” He looks over you with a condescending little smirk. This man has never seen you in a dress in your life. 

“Shut up. It’s just for dinner.”

He lets out a cocky little tut. “‘Cause you knew I was comin’ over?”

When you look up at him again, his hand gently rests over yours. You don’t have time to appreciate it; the sliding back door opens, and your father’s big booming laughter shakes the nearby lake. Joel’s subtle touch is instantly gone. 

“Joel! So good to see you! Hey, great bonfire a few weeks ago.”

You take a deep breath and excuse yourself from the shop talk. You don’t want to be alone with your mother in the house, but the table still needs to be set up. You work around each other in silence. She grabs the salad, you grab the dinner rolls and green beans. You could hear a pin drop. 

---

Dinner would have been better if you had an appetite. You spent the majority of your time making a tilled farm field out of your mashed potatoes. You’d flatten out your helping with a fork and then gently run the fork’s ribs through the moldable potatoes and create little crop lines out of it. You don’t always play with your food, but you weren’t really up for conversation. Your mother takes notice. She hates it. She hates that you were letting your personal problems exist in the company of others. 

The only time you looked up even slightly was when Joel started talking. Sort of a calm in an unknown storm, you suppose. He looked so handsome without even really trying. You wore a crooked smile as you looked over the dark green button-up he was wearing. It was starting to be your favorite color, he wore it so well. 

There were points where your parents would turn to each other. And Joel would turn to you. It was sort of a silent check-in. 

Under the protection of the table, his hand found your knee, his big fingers lightly playing with the hem of your dress. It was the first time you cracked a real smile all dinner. Your hand ghosted over his, your nails lightly running soothing, slow lines on the underside of his wrist by his watch. 

You doin’ okay?

Mhm.

It didn’t dawn on you that Joel might have felt he did something to cause your saddened mood. And this was his way of asking. You bit down on your lower lip, feeling his fingers lightly interlock with yours over your knee. Your eyelashes flutter at the warmth it propels through your body. It was just what you needed. Everything was going to be okay. 

---

You’re working over a stubborn steak juice stain on a plate as the sun sets over the lake and glistens a soft yellow-orange hue through the windows in the kitchen. Your parents are moving around you while you rinse the dishes, back turned to them as they spoke in mundane conversation and pack up leftovers.

You don’t see him, but you can feel Joel’s presence as he enters the doorway. He watches you. He watches your parents. You wonder what he sees. The next thing you know, he’s shaking your parents hands and bidding them goodnight. 

He stops at you. As the running faucet splashes against a few forks and a wine glass, you spare him a glance. 

“Walk me out?” Your parents take notice of his ask. And not in the way you expect. 

You tilt back and forth on your feet, looking back to the dishes. You really just wanted to finish what was left to clean and read in your room for the rest of the night. 

“Uhm-”

“Go on and walk him out, honey. We’ll see you soon, Joel. Thanks for stoppin’ in.” 

Your eyes go from Joel’s, to your parents. If they were anything, at least they were oblivious. 

You and your mother share a look before she sighs and exits the kitchen. Your jaw loosens, not even realizing how hard you were grinding your teeth while looking at her. 

“Yeah. Okay.” Your murmured voice is barely audible above the gushing sink faucet. After you set the plate on the drying rack and smear your wet hands on a dish towel, you walk Joel outside. 

The night breeze off the lake sets in a layer of goosebumps up your arms. 

Joel’s boots scuff against the gravel and dirt in his driveway, his footsteps pausing at his truck and turning to face you. 

The rising moon and setting sun work in unison to highlight his aquiline nose and silver-sprinkled jawline. He’s charmingly handsome. Rugged features meet a stone facade. 

You take a hesitant look back into the house. The kitchen light is still on, but no one is in the small windows. 

“You wanna tell me what’s really goin’ on with you?” He crosses his arms, cocking his leg out as he leans his weight onto one of his hips. 

You muster up a shrug and fold your hands around your arms to keep the light chill away. It felt like you couldn’t tell the truth, the house and your parents inside watching over you. The pressure of it all makes your shoulders lurch up a bit into your neck. 

But Joel continues to press you. You’re making him nervous, you think, because he’s not accustomed to seeing you so quiet. 

“Are you..” His words falter and fall off, and you can see the frown creased into his mouth.  “You’re wantin’ t’stop seein’ each other?” 

“What?” Now you’re the one frowning, closing the gap between you and Joel and taking him by his hand to the other side of the truck, using it as a shield between you and the rest of the world. Your back flushes against his driver-side door. 

“No, I don’t want to stop seeing you, Joel.” You frown and squeeze his hand a little tighter in assurance. “Trust me. You’re kind of..” You struggle to make the words fit. Nothing seems right. You’re kind of the only person I want to be around right now.

Joel looks a little relieved. He doesn’t make you finish your sentence. He seems to connect the dots. Joel looks from your solemn face to the house behind you—the cause of your ill-stricken mood. 

“How about we grab a drink n’talk.” It’s not a question, exactly, it’s more like a command. 

You don’t want to talk about what happened, and you have a sneaking suspicion that if you two go off together, your parents will be asking questions. 

You push the toe of your sneaker into the gravel and twist slowly back and forth. 

“I should just head back inside. My parents are probably waiting up for me, anyway. Cleanup duty.” You say unenthusiastically with a dash of sarcasm. Joel’s eyes are looking past you, still at the house. You turn around to follow his eyeline. All the lights in the house have been turned off—even the porch light. Joel scowls at the sight, thinking how he always leaves the light on for Sarah. 

The caged-in feeling returns, your chest tight as you look to your feet and try to breathe through the ache your heart held. You wanted to get out of here, and now. 

“Never mind.” You bite down on your lower lip to hold it together. “Let’s go.” 

You’re already swinging open Joel’s door, rust creaking at the joints as you slide into the passenger seat. These old trucks with no center console were so cool to you. Maybe you'd appreciate it more if you weren’t in such a shitty mood. But Joel’s already in the truck beside you, the warmth he’s radiating was welcome. His key turns in the ignition, and it clicks a few times before the engine roars to life. 

You don’t talk, he doesn’t force you to. You feel at peace putting some distance between you and the lakehouse. 

Joel drives past neighborhoods with funny street names.  Thunderbird Lane. Firefly Drive. Sugar Loaf Lane.

As the sun just finishes setting, the whole town is covered in an orange glow that will soon fade to purple. Everything flies by your window, and moving at this speed feels like the cage is lifting around your chest, the clasps on your wrist snapping free. 

Rolling down the window makes the breeze funnel into the truck and flow through your hair. Before you know it, your body is halfway out of the window. 

“What ‘n God’s name do you think you’re doin’?” Joel’s tone was warning, his fist catching your dress in a fist around your lower back in an attempt to make sure you didn’t get thrown out of the truck.  “Get back in here.” 

You turned back so Joel could see you, eyes lit, and a smile from ear to ear. His hold slowly loosens at the sight before him. 

Back arched out the window, he drives a little slower and towards the center of the road. You look up, arms outstretched into the night air as you breathe everything in. Fresh lungs, filled with a new perspective, no tears left to cry as you hang out of Joel’s window. The stars gleam, and the universe is vast.

Oh my god. You hear yourself mumble, feeling freedom reeling through your entire body. And like that, you were new again. 

A satisfied sigh leaves your lips. You’re back in the truck now, and you roll the window up but not completely closed. The wind still tickles a breeze into your thrown-about hair. You look to Joel, his eyes already on yours. 

Joel sees your fire has been re-lit, thrashing out licks of flame and building in intensity. He adores you wild and free.

“Better?”

You fix the space between you, your body melting into his side as your head lazily rolls onto his shoulder. His heavy arm finds its way around the tops of your shoulders to keep you sedentary. 

“Much better.” 

---

He ends up passing the central part of town. It’s better this way. Go somewhere he won’t be recognized with a woman half his age. He’s the one who lives in town throughout the year. You and your family only visit in the summer. It doesn’t help that the town is small, and Joel is one of a handful of skilled contractors in the area. 

His rusted truck lulls to a jittery stop outside a small bar lit by a red neon sign reading, Past Lives. You wander inside, passing empty barstools and a glowing dartboard, while your sneakers crunch peanut shells littering the ground. You nearly slipped on a large pile of them, but Joel’s hand was firmly on your bicep before you could flail any further. 

“You might be the clumsiest woman I’ve ever met.” He mutters, annoyance passing over his features. 

You roll your eyes and scoot onto one of the tall barstools at a small square table against the wall. “I doubt that’s true.” 

He shrugs his shoulders and cracks open a peanut, tossing it into his mouth. “You’re right. Your mother is the clumsiest woman I know. You get it from her. Once, I watched her glide five or six feet down the end of the dock and land in the water.” 

An ill feeling passes over you again, pursing your lips as you trace your finger around the small bowl Joel is picking his peanuts from. 

Joel halts his movements, chewing included, and watches as your eyes stare meaninglessly at the table. 

“Never really seen you like this. Thought I’d like it if you were quiet for once. But now it just feels out of character.” 

Joel’s boot teasingly nudges your sneaker under the table. His brown eyes look warm despite the lack of light in the dingy bar. Your stomach twists thinking about how he looked under the moonlight just half an hour ago. 

Those pretty eyes of his meet yours. Soft. Kind. “Talk to me.”

A beaten-up sigh leaves your lips, tugging at the hem of your dress. 

After a drink or two, you tell Joel everything he missed before dinner. How you and your mother fought. How it was all venom and tears, leaving you cold and alone on the bathroom tile. By the time the battle came to a halt, there was no clear winner or loser. 

Joel’s an attentive listener. He doesn’t interrupt. He knows when to prompt you need a push. Joel’s pile of peanut shells has turned into a small molehill. The ice in your drink sloshes around as you start talking with your hands. 

“I love her, I mean, she’s my mom. But she’s always fought me on this. This-this-...”  

“The traveling,” Joel assists, his large hand nursing a small glass of whiskey. He looks amused like he enjoys watching you spew. You supposed he feels more relieved to see you explode like this rather than holding it all in.

“And-and it’s so much more than that! She fought me about leaving Texas for school, she fought me about doing a semester abroad, she just can’t let me go, it’s suffocating!” 

You didn’t mean to sound so passionate, and you hadn’t realized how vocal you became until someone slowly clapped on the other side of the bar in appreciation. You stifled a laugh and put your head shyly in your hands. 

He nods slowly, waiting to see what you’ll say next. You’re using him like you’re journaling at home, now it’s just interactive. 

You sigh and pinch at the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes as you listen to an old country slow song humming throughout the bar. 

“Didn’t even wanna come back this year.” Your words are barely above a murmur. 

This makes Joel pause. “What d’you say?” 

You sit up straight and sigh, crossing one leg over the other under the table. These stupid drinks are making you tell the truth. Be more vulnerable than you would ordinarily be. But it’s also because you’re talking to Joel, and he’s always been interested in what you have to say. 

“I didn’t want to come back this year. These past few years, I didn’t come back to Danbury because I sort of- purposely- busied up my summer. Internships, work, anything to keep me busy and out from under their-their….” You pause to make hand gestures that are wide and all-encompassing. 

Joel juts his jaw out to the side, lips pursed before he speaks again. 

“M’happy you came back.”  

There’s a moment of silence. Joel’s eyes aren’t on yours anymore. He’s swirling his glass around slowly and watching his ice rotate in a sloppy circle. You slowly start to smile as he looks bashful. 

“What did you say, Mr.Miller?” You pry teasingly, reaching your hand over and gently stroking his watch band. The nickname makes his eyes narrow on yours. 

“Nothin’. Forget about it.” He throws back the last of his drink, and you’re cooing for him to continue. 

“Wha- Joel, come on! Why did you say that?” 

He’s just trying to buckle down his smile, hiding it with his whiskey glass and shaking his head. 

“Didn’t say nothin’.”

“Yes, you so did. Don’t even try to lie.” 

“I’ve never lied a day in my life.”

Your eyes go wide, and now you’re smacking his forearm. He’s shoving quarters at you now, sliding them to your side of the table as a form of distraction. 

“Can you just-” He scoffs under his breath and rolls his eyes, finalizing his quarter total to four. “-fuck off, go put a song on the jukebox.” 

You sneer at him but obey. You look for something particular, pausing on Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac, smirking at him as you punch in his quarters. He seems confused as to why you stay standing at the jukebox. 

The chorus hits, and you point accusingly at him as you do so. 

“Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies,” you can’t even finish before your right foot catches on more slippery peanut shells, freezing like you were caught on ice skates and trying not to fall. 

Joel’s hand has a vice grip on your bicep again until you regain your balance. God. Your face gathers heat as you snatch your phone off the table, and he lets out a laugh at your expense. 

“Can’t sing,”

“Hey-”

“Can’t walk in a straight line.”

“I had like four drinks.”

“Two.” He corrects. There’s no hiding that you’re just unbearably uncoordinated. 

“God. Just- get me out of here, Miller.” 

Joel was biting back a smile. He likes teasing you, taunting you. Only because you know how to serve it back to him. 

“Not until you see this. Wanna show you somethin’.” He sets down his whiskey and lays down cash to cover the tab. 

You start your stride, and Joel’s already looking at you with instilled concern. You insist I’m fine. Go on. You follow him through a narrow hallway towards the restrooms, an exit door lit up with a red sign over it. 

The walls are filled with signs, pictures, and letters, all illuminated by a soft flickering strip light.  These were trails that people had left along the way, passing through the bar and leaving a piece of them behind for strangers to admire. It was like a memory wall. 

Joel leans back against the men’s restroom doorframe, arms crossed as he silently admires the wall. And you. 

Your fingers brush an old family picture timestamped from the late 80s. There were business cards, from bankers to bonds bailsman. 

You feel Joel’s hand cast warmth on your hip, guiding you further down the hall. You follow his eyeline to a large yellow-light spoiled wall map. There were push pins all in different parts of the world. 

“Look at all of these, Joel!” Your eagerness was evident as you stepped in front of him, finger flying from one point to the next, squinting past the tacks to read the cities people have visited. 

“Bangkok, Thailand. Paris, France. Of course. London, Dubai, Tokyo.” Your voice trails off, finger-stopping around the empty parts of the map that some of the bargoers had yet to venture off to. The pins around the state of Texas were ironic. 

You gently took a step back, Joel's broad and hardened front caressing your back. His arms gently wrap around you before they clasp at your front. You rest your temple against his bicep as you sigh. You found comfort in him tonight more than he could understand. 

Your neck cranes to the side and up, observing his defined jawline from below. “Have you ever been out of the country?” Your face is lit with excitement, only to fall as he slowly shakes his head. You turn back to the map, your fingers gently holding onto his muscular forearm. 

“Am I crazy for wanting to leave?” 

You can feel a heavy breath leave through Joel’s nose, the air fanning over the top of your head. 

“You’re not leavin’. You’re travelin’. You’ll come back, eventually.” 

The muscle in your jaw twitches, and your eyes move to the Eastern side of the map, spotting the tiny European countries. 

“Maybe my mom is so worried that if I decide to leave, I might not come back.” You say it as a joke. It makes Joel muster up a tut. But maybe, just maybe, you mean it.

---

You feel drops scatter from the dark black clouds overhead as you rush out to the truck, feeling the cold rain splash onto the exposed skin of your thighs.

Joel’s hot on your heels, doing his little side hop down the stairs and jogging lightly with his arms tucked into his sides. He’s already tossed you the keys to his truck. His body hovers over yours and shields the raindrops from landing on your head as you fiddle with unlocking the truck door. 

“Any day now.”

His babbling thwarts your concentration. 

“Fuck off, it’s like- rusted shut.” You tease before giving the handle one large tug, and it gives way with a creak. You slip in, dress hem tangling up on your upper thighs. Your hand flies to fix it instinctually, but you slow down when you see how adamantly Joel admires the exposed skin.

When you two make eye contact, he’s already cleared his throat and put the key in the ignition. He cranes his neck back to look out the rearview window, left hand cranking the wheel with precision while his right arm wraps around the back of your headrest. You swallow the lump in your throat, watching Joel reverse out of the bar’s parking lot and back onto the main road.

Your heart thumps, and you think he can hear it because his eyes are on yours when he turns back around. Magnetizing. And you have a hard time facing him without feeling a little shy. Because you’re thinking incredibly naughty things now. 

On the drive home, the rain pelts the truck and hard. Joel’s wimpy wipers are working at full speed. He’s not concerned because he knows these streets with his eyes closed. He turns up the radio a little bit to drown out the rain. He does it for you to ease your nerves. 

“You’re quiet.” He murmurs, his eyes still on the murky road in front of him. 

You can’t help but be quiet. He looks so fucking hot. As dim streaks of lightning skitter across the sky, you see the silver hairs in his mustache and beard. His rain-dampened curls are recoiling, fresh, and wavy. His thick neck was lined with strong veins and muscle.

“So are you.” You murmur back. 

His eyes catch you in sneaky glances. Your hair, pretty and dry since he shielded you in the bar’s parking lot. Dress half rumpled up your thighs, smooth skin of your legs exposed to his wandering pupils. 

The truck suddenly shifts, veering off the main road.  

“Woah,” you gasp, thinking the truck had slid at first. But Joel’s foot was still on the gas, cautiously guiding you off to a side road. You look around, covered by darkness and trees that shield your existence but do little to veil the obscene thoughts racing through your head. 

Joel finally throws the truck into a parked position, your eyes watching as his hand snaps the keys out of the ignition. 

He looks over at you expectantly. And you just deadpan. 

“Get over here." He says between gritted teeth, voice drenched in lust as he snaps off his seatbelt and then your own.

His large hands pull you in as soon as you’re free. You don’t waste another minute, straddling his lap and resting between him and his steering wheel.  

You clutch the collar of his dark green button-up, tugging him by his neck into your kiss. It’s messy and desperate, but you've wanted to taste him since dinner. His greedy hands are wrinkling your dress. The cold air tickles your warm thighs, and you whimper into his mouth. 

Joel’s kisses are rough but fluent; he speaks the language of your lips. You take a moment to admire how different the two of you are and how it feels like he’s the key to your lock. 

His warm palms slip up the front of your thighs as he kisses you, hasty and happy. He takes the hem of your dress with him. Joel is as warm as a furnace. He’s heating you from the inside out as your core begins to ache for him.

He pauses the kiss, large palm coming up to cup your cheek as his thumb traces along your lower lip. You take the time to catch your breath, feeling his own fog against the window next to you. 

“Not exactly the most romantic spot.” His eyes shift with lust-filled guilt. “M’sorry.” 

You work up a smile, leaning in to gently kiss his cheek and up his cheekbone. 

“It’s okay. We’re not romantic.” Your clarification feels like a lie. He doesn’t need to know that. 

The rain outside becomes blurred, and Joel’s looking through you again. Right through you. Your chest pounds under his watchful eyes. He sucks in the side of his cheeks, looks you up and down your face. 

Don’t lie to me. 

Don’t make me tell you the truth.

He decides to let you move on unscathed, your thighs clamping around his own with your knees at either side of his hips. His worry lines are stamped into his forehead as he looks over you cautiously. 

You break into a smile, unable to stand him looking at you like you’re a lost puppy. “Joel,” you whisper into his ear, soft lips giving his ear a kiss as your nose lightly brushes against his soft curls. Your voice drops to a whisper, sweet and divine. “Don’t make me beg, Mr. Miller.” 

Your lips suckle his earlobe and cast your tongue along the curve while his fingertips immediately dig deeper into the flesh of your hips. The sensation makes his cock twitch in his jeans. 

You smirk as you grind your hips into his lap, a suppressed grunt leaving his parted lips. He’s into it. “You like this, Mr. Miller?” Your words are murmured against the shell of his ear, teeth gently catching his earlobe and lightly tugging. 

Your words along with the rhythm of your hips over his lap have him in a tailspin. 

“Knock it off.” He warns, teeth gritted, a low growl emitting from his throat while he grips you at the waist to pause any movement. He looks so sexy snarling at you like this. Your hand reaches between you two, palming against his cock until you feel it swell into the heart of your hand. 

Joel is lazily planting kisses on the soft skin of your neck, he’s distracted by how good your hand feels. 

You take turns half undressing one another. Joel pushes your dress up to your waist and loops his index finger into the band of your panties. He guides them down with your assistance. You kick the material off your ankles and move to pop open each button of his long sleeve. He goes to shrug it off, but you smile and tighten your hold on the collar. 

“I like it on. Just wanna see your chest hair.” 

His mouth tilts into a crooked smirk.

“‘lright, then. Good to know.” He leans back in and places messy kisses on your exposed neck. You can feel how badly he wants to sink his teeth in, but you share the mutual rule of keeping those things below the collar. Out of sight, out of other people’s nosy minds. 

You struggle to admit that jimmying open his belt at this angle was pissing you off. You’re holding your breath until it clicks open, and you let out a sigh of relief. So does Joel. 

A gasp leaves your lips as Joel lifts the both of you up purely with the strength of his hips, a low grunt leaving his pouted lips as he pushes his jeans down to his knees, along with his boxers. You sit back down over him and feel his heavy shaft pressing against your slick center. His girth makes you whimper. 

The rhythm of the rain eases your racing heart. You take Joel’s pulsing member into your slightly shaky hand. 

“Nervous?” It’s not cocky or concerned, just curious. 

“M’not nervous.” You mutter, starting to pump his cock to get him to shut up. And it works. For a minute. 

His head falls back into the seat as he watches you in admiration, his own hand wandering between your spread legs and gliding two fingers through your slick. His forefinger grazes against your clit, and he has you whimpering again. 

“S’okay to be nervous.” His thumb slowly starts delicate circles into your bundle of nerves, and now he’s got your legs quivering. 

You’re chewing at the inside of your cheek, shifty eyes meeting his. You pace your words this time. “I’m not nervous, Joel.” You pull away from him to create a line of spit from your mouth, landing on his pink tip already drizzling in precum. You swallow your nerve and bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Not with you.” 

The mutual understanding links the two of you together, bound to the agreement in silence. You have a burning desire for one another. You’re scared, and he knows it. You push him to the limits, his heart beats for you. 

Steam fogs the windows of Joel’s truck. The rain dances a fine line between pounding and pouring to slow and subtle. 

Joel’s kisses lull you into a peaceful existence. You take off your dress, unable to stand anything between you and Joel. He’s warm as he wraps his arms around you, your tits flush against his thick chest. 

You line him up by his base, Joel’s trying to hold himself still under you. You’re focusing hard, and he kisses your temple to ease your thoughts. He murmurs something, but you’re too busy concentrating. 

His pink tip meets your warm flesh, and his tip slowly parts your walls. He’s seething between his teeth, how tight you are washes pleasure over his face. He wants you to go slow. You don’t want him to go easy on you. You can’t help but let his name tumble from your lips in desperation. 

“Joel,” you whine, one hand clenching the fabric of his button-up by his shoulder while the other still weakly holds his base. 

“M’here, baby.”

He’s rubbing soothing circles in your hips with his forefingers, trying to distract you from the stretch he’s creating inside you. 

His breaths are coming out in hot puffs. The truck isn’t cold anymore, in fact, it’s only steaming up. 

“So- fuckin’- tight.” He murmurs, eyebrows knitted together as his jaw was dropped open. 

It was sharp at first, but the further you sank over him, the more you couldn’t contain yourself. As soon as his balls were flushed against your core, you were kissing him. Hot and heavy, desperate and needy, can’t get enough of each other sort of kisses. One of his hands holds the back of your head to keep you close while your fingers are delicately feeling up his chest and mazing through salt and pepper hair. 

You smirk lazily against his lips, pulling away to rest your head on his shoulder. With this leverage, you start to roll your hips down onto his. Joel’s hands assist, squeezing your ass and guiding you smoothly up and down his shaft. You’re both moaning one another’s names, hazy eyes watching each other as long as they can before eventually drifting closed. 

You wished you weren’t fucking in his truck, your riding skills were a lot better than this, but if you try and pop up, your head will just smack into the roof. And he’ll make fun of you for as long as he knows you. 

“God- feel so good, Joel.” 

You’re panting already a few minutes in. You don’t want Joel to think you can’t do this, you don’t want his help. But your body is crammed in limited quarters, and you’re already sweating. 

He feels good. You wonder how long it’s been since he’s had sex. He’s not exactly the most outgoing of gentlemen. Thinking about him being with other women, maybe even women his age stirs a weird pit inside your stomach. 

One hand steadies itself on Joel’s forearm while the other gently clutches his cheek. You leave a messy moan against his ear. 

“Do you like fucking girls half your age, Mr. Miller?” You ask with a teasing smirk, messy kisses against his stubble and his ear ensuing. 

He’s grunting every time you throw yourself back into him, skin clapping against his thighs, his hands slipping from your hips to your ass and squeezing the juicy flesh. “-like fuckin’ you.” 

A low, extended groan leaves his lips as he holds your hips down, filling you full and having you sit with it. You throw your head back, and your eyes shudder closed with a loud moan occupying the truck. 

You tell yourself that you’re both just fuck happy. You can worry about the depth of Joel’s words later. He feels too good inside of you for the first time to give a shit.

Joel’s thrusts bring you back to life, hand landing against his window and leaving a print mark against the steamy glass. 

Joel senses your languid movements. He thinks you look pretty being fucked in his trunk during a thunderstorm. The darkness wraps the both of you up, only seeing flashes of each other’s features. He combs his large hand into your hair, catching your striking features with his hooded eyes. The slope of your nose. The curvature of your collarbones. Your pretty lips that he can’t stop staring at. 

Joel enjoys the control too much for you to be on top for a second longer. 

You collapse onto the truck’s long leather seat, lips parting in surprise as he maneuvers you to lie back without slipping from your entrance. 

“H-Holy fuck, Joel-” You’re breathless. 

Joel’s jaw clicks tighter as he flattens one of his large palms beside your head for leverage, hovering over you as he begins to methodically snap his hips into yours. Your desperate cries for more fill the truck. 

Both of you are horridly cursing, some in the form of whines and moans and others in the form of whispered grunts. 

Fuckin Christ-

Holy shit, Joel, please-

Feel so god damn good, princess-

Oh f- fuck me Joel, fuck me!

You’re already feeling the knots in your stomach tether tighter and tighter together, back arching as your chest brushes against his nose. 

Joel takes the opportunity and licks a hot stripe between your breasts. You know he tastes your glistening sweat, but the trail from his tongue makes you clench tighter around him. 

You catch Joel’s unfiltered groan in your mouth, his forehead resting against yours as his amber eyes grace yours. 

He’s close, you can see it in the way his features contort and his thrusts become more unpredictable. You had no idea he could fuck this good. 

Joel brings a hand up to your lips and offers you two fingers. You whimper but reluctantly take them past your mouth. You suckle and lather your tongue up and down each digit, it makes his cock twitch inside of you. 

He plucks his fingers free with a pop, a trail of spit extending from your bottom lip to your chin as he reaches between you both. 

Finding your swollen bundle of nerves doesn’t take him more than a second. You were so turned on it was almost painful. 

Joel’s tip sweetly kisses your cervix at this angle, and you are so close to spilling over. Your hands cup his face, pulling him into you as you share a messy kiss. You think about how scared you were to kiss him before, but now it makes you feel a sense of protection and safety. You wrap your arms around his neck, you need him close. 

“Joel,” you whimper, clenching your eyes closed and dropping your jaw as he finds the perfect rhythm circling your clit. 

“Can’t hear ya, baby,” He grunts into your ear. You can feel him tiredly smirking against your cheek, knowing he’s fucking you so good you’re struggling to find the words. 

“Fuck,” you mutter, your legs clenching tighter at the sides of his hips. “M’on birth control, finish inside me,” you whisper against his ear. 

You can hear him let out a short, breathy chuckle against your ear. It only drives him more, knowing he can fill you up. 

“Y’sure, sweetheart?” 

“Want to?” 

His teeth are gritted as he growls into your ear. “Course I wanna fill your sweet cunt up.” 

It was hopeless after that. 

A crack of thunder and a strike of lightning conspire, your view of Joel illuminating his gorgeous face in a white-silver flash. 

The tight coils inside you snap free, a broken moan of his name being the last thing you remember saying before white stars filled your vision. Your hold on Joel loosens as your orgasm crashes through you ungracefully, making you twitch and rut your hips below him. 

His fingers and his thrusts don’t stop. He rides out your orgasm, following suit until he flushes his hips against yours and lets out a heavenly groan of your name. You’re still under him, vision blurry and hearing fuzzy. He finds solace in the crook of your neck, nuzzling a home for himself in the space and losing himself deep inside you. 

His body shudders lightly as he finishes, spilling white streams into you for who knows how long. Your hand is gently stroking the hair at the back of his head, fingers combing through dark curls as he breathes hot air against your neck. 

You both slowly blink back to life. He’s complimenting you, but you’re too blissed out to hear the details. 

So good, baby… Such a pretty fuckin’ girl... So lucky. 

Joel tuts softly as he attempts to free his softened length, but you whine and tighten your legs around his hips to keep him stationary. 

Your eyelashes flutter as you feel gentle kisses by the corners of your eyes, tiredly smiling as you open them before slowly sitting up onto your elbows. Joel takes the opportunity to pull out and yank his boxers and jeans back into place, securing his belt last. 

He still keeps his shirt unbuttoned for you, partially because you have a hold on a random corner to keep it so. 

With the absence of your pants hotboxing the truck, you slip back into your dress with a light shudder. You reach past Joel’s leg to retrieve your panties and pull them up your stems to keep his spillage to a minimum. 

“Good?” He asks, a smile slowly growing on your lips. He looked so fucked out. You both probably did. You attempt to fix Joel’s hair, and he takes his thumb to swipe away the saliva trail on your chin. 

“Good.” You agree. Quiet and sapped, but good. 

You force Joel to play a few games of tic-tac-toe on the foggy glass before the storms lighten up, and you can actually see more than a few feet in front of the road. 

You’re picking at the skin around your nails the entire drive home. So many questions compile in your worn-out brain. 

What if your parents noticed you were gone? What if they were awake, waiting for you by the kitchen window, and they see you slip out of Joel’s truck? Try explaining yourself after that one. 

As Joel pulls into his driveway, you observe the lake house is still dark and silent. Empty but also not. Joel’s warm palm is on your leg. It draws your attention away from the window, focusing just on him. 

“Joel?”

“Hm?” 

You shift your jaw before you lay your head back against the headrest, gentle pitter patters of the last rain cloud splashing on the window. 

“What do you do when you’re not working? Like on that Saturday when I talked to you at your truck.” 

He musters up a half-mouth smirk. “Didn’t do much talkin’ that I recall.” 

You roll your eyes and slam a closed fist against his shoulder. It barely rocks his arm, let alone his body. “M’serious.” 

He lets out a long sigh and looks out the windshield. “I do stuff around town or-  for the town.”

He’s so hard to push details out of. He’s like a jammed stapler. 

“Go on. So, like, volunteering?”

Joel rolls his eyes and shrugs. “S’not really like that.”

“That’s what it sounds like.” 

He doesn’t say anything, just sort of starts smiling. “Just like keeping myself busy. But now I have you on my plate.” He teased. Your chest felt warm, knowing he kept a place for you in his hectic life. 

“What sort of stuff are you working on right now?” 

He takes a long, deep breath through his nose. You can hear it whistle before he lets it all out of his mouth, followed by clearing his throat. 

“Y’know that old church past that big field on the east side of Danbury?” 

You mindlessly shake your head and shrug. 

“When I was a kid, I used t’go to that church-”

“For God?” You can’t help but blurt it out in shock. 

He narrows his eyes on you and smirks.

“M’not exactly the Godly type.” You look over his chiseled jawline and beautiful, robust features. You’d have to disagree. He looked like one of God’s favorites. 

“So.. why are you trying to fix an old church?”

Joel slowly smiles, eyes mindlessly on the dashboard of his truck before he answers. “I have a thing for the broken, used, and abandoned.” 

Your head cocks to the side, and you give him a look, pressing him for an honest answer. Or maybe it was an honest answer, and you’re just looking for a better answer. 

He shuffles around in his seat before he continues, hand still aimlessly circling on your thigh. “It wasn’t operable when I was a kid, just rundown, abandoned. There used to be a stained glass mural on the-uh... east-facing wall. So when the sun came up through it, the whole place just- lit up.” He pauses and shifts his focus to you. 

“Now, y’know, it’s fallin’ apart. Dumb kids throwin’ rocks at it and chipping away the glass, age makin’ it all dust-covered.” Joel shrugs and falls back into his closed pit of secrecy. 

“So… you’re fixing up the town.”

A pause. “More or less.” 

“You know how to make a stained glass mural?”

He shakes his head and purses his lips. “No. But I can figure it out.” 

You twist your lips and slowly climb over his lap once more. His eyes watch you curiously while his hands settle on your hips. You cup either side of his neck, fingertips lightly brushing up against messy curls. 

“Can I see this mural you’re working on?” 

He takes a long time to answer. So much dead silence fills the truck you start to feel a bit awkward about asking, like maybe it was too far. 

“Please.” You ask or tell rather. You kiss his lips lightly to try and sway his pending decision. “I won’t judge, I think it’s cool.”

“Cool?” He instantly chirps, cocking an eyebrow up at you. 

“I didn’t say you were cool-”

“You most certainly did.” 

You’re shaking your head, and his pointer finger is prodding into your side to get under your skin. “I said that it’s cool. The stained glass stuff, that is what is cool.” 

He’s already sneering at you. “Whatever you say, princess.” You can feel your cheeks singe with heat. Your hand anxiously scrabbles for the door handle, letting the rusty door creak open for your exit.

Sneakers scrape gravel after you climb out of Joel’s lap, his boots landing suit. 

He smoothes a hand down your dress, your eyes watch before you face him. 

“You gonna be alright?” Joel's face is laced with slight concern, his head cocking past you and looking to the house. 

You shrug and shake your head. “Yeah. We’ve had this fight before, and we’ll have it again.” 

He doesn’t seem satisfied with the answer. He’s teetering on his heels as a stray raindrop lands on your cheek. 

“You can..” He trails off as his thumb comes up and brushes away the droplet, hand lingering before he cups your cheek. “Y’know, can always stay with us if you need a break. M’sure Sarah would love the company.” And so would he. 

Your eyes soften, the gesture warm and safe. You couldn’t even imagine the trouble you’d stir up at Joel’s house. Sure, you could occupy yourself with Sarah when she returned from camping, but what would you and Joel do? Well, besides the obvious…

Your lips curl into a tight smile, not wanting him to reel in his invite out of pure bashfulness. 

“Thank you. I’ll keep it in mind.” Your eyes are on his until he sighs, his shoulders reset into that of a broad lumberjack once more. His eyes looked like they were scheming. It’s fast, like a flash, and before you know it, the look is gone. 

“Take care of yourself.” He leans down and plants a kiss on the crown of your head, thumb skimming up the line of your cheekbone. Suddenly, your heart is racing again. 

You cup his cheeks and pull him down for a real goodbye kiss, two sets of pouted lips against one another, unwilling to let go until you have to. 

---

“What are you doing after work?” You’re on a call with Joel, phone pressed between your ear and hunched shoulder. 

“What are you wearing right now?” He taunts, voice crackling in and out of connection since he was currently working at a house out of town. 

“Ha.” You deadpan, closing the sliding glass door behind you as you step back into the empty lake house, skin sweltering from being in the sun for the better half of the afternoon reading on the dock. “No, really, I could use your help.”

The phone volume shrills in your ear as you hear an electric saw roar to life, Joel cursing repeatedly as he walks away from all the noise.  “Jesus fuckin-.. so damn lou- Can you hear me better?” 

Once the saw dulled, you put the phone back to your ear.  “Yeah.”

“What do you need help with?” His voice sounds a little preoccupied like he’s trying to focus on you, but he’s got a million things running through his head. 

“My window.” You say with a frown, stepping into your bedroom and cursing at the sight of it. “Won’t open. Maybe you can crack it open with some of your handy dandy tools.”

You smile as he musters up a little laugh at your hardware knowledge or lack thereof. “I don’t know about today, baby.” 

“You are the property maintenance guy for our lakehouse now, right? You have a duty to help me.” You tease, stepping back outside with a fresh bottle of water and an apple. Your teeth pierce the skin, and the apple’s juices gush past your lips. 

“Jesus, fine. I’ll be over. I’m almost done.”

You purse your lips to hide your smirk. God, he can’t even see you, but you don’t want him to know he’s got you flustered. 

“Parents are running errands today... If that’s extra incentive for you to hurry up.” 

Joel pauses on the other end. He’s probably got that stupid smirk on his face. “In that case, I’ll leave now.”

“I knew you’d see things my way. Thank youuu.” You playfully coo. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

An hour later, Joel’s outside your window while you assist from the inside. His face is twisted in concentration, eyes narrowed on a misaligned hinge that he works free with a screwdriver, realigns, then screws tight into its proper place. 

He looks stupid hot so focused like this. Tanned skin, hair a little dusty from work. The veins in his forearm were bulging as he uses pressure to keep the hinge in place. You had to blink a few times to keep yourself from staring. He feels it. 

“Can I help you?” His voice was thick and echoing since he was speaking to you between a glass pane. 

You bite back a smirk and shake your head. 

He pulls off the hinge and nods, pats it a few times before looking at you and giving you a thumbs up. 

You decide to let him come inside before you open the window yourself, twisting at the string of your bikini bottom as you wait. He took in your appearance as soon as he parked in the driveway. 

“What?”

“...Nothin’. Like the outfit.”

“Joel, I was sunbathing. And reading. It wasn’t an intended distraction.” It was. 

“Mhm.”

Joel appears at the entrance of your bedroom. You silently curse yourself for not updating it more. It still looked like a sixteen-year-old fangirl lived in it. 

He appreciates the posters and magazines, checking his handiwork at the window. 

“Wanna give it a go? Open it?” 

You eagerly smile and step up to the window, playfully tugging on it and heaving. 

“I-.. It’s still stuck.” You say with a frown. “Joel, you said you fixed it.”

“What? Shouldn’t be-” He’s already got his hands on the frame and tugs, feeling it easily slip up and open. You’re giggling as his face deadpans. 

“You think you’re so funny.” He taunts, his body turning towards you as he chucks his tools haphazardly on your bed. You’re already attempting to take leaps and bounds away from Joel, but his arms are long, and so are his strides. 

His rough hands capture you by your waist, dusty and calloused fingers ghosting over your warm skin. 

Joel’s lips eagerly greet yours, both of you grinning into the kiss. It’s slow as you let it envelop you. Your heart races. He’s not supposed to be here, your parents could come home any time now.  

You bite down on your lower lip, feeling butterflies in your stomach as he backs you up against your wall, foreheads gently pressed together. His eyes flick behind you, and your head follows his gaze. 

“Boybands, huh?”

You roll your eyes and smirk, fingers moving to the button of his jeans. 

“Shut up, Joel. Leave the boybands out of it.” 

A car door slamming catches both of your attention. Heads whip on instinct, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Your parents are home, and Joel’s half-hard in your palm. 

“Oh, shit.” You curse. 

Joel’s already moving, grabbing his tools off your bed, and adjusting his jeans. “Lemme handle it.” Your heart pounds as you and Joel greet your parents at the door. They walk in with fresh shopping bags. A cheesy sign for the living room sticks out from one of them. 

“Joel?” They both ask in unison, looking between the man beside you and you in your bikini. Your mother’s face lightly flushes. 

“Hey, Joel! Good to see ya!” Your father sets the bags on the table and grabs a beer from the fridge. You shift on your feet and just let Joel lead. 

Your dad’s oblivious, your mother is more curious

. 

“What are you... What are you doing here?” She tries to ask casually with a little smile. 

Joel raises his screwdriver, strategically keeping the toolbag in front of his lower half. You try not to smirk. 

“Was fixin’ your daughter’s jammed window.”

Your mother's face softens before she smiles. “Y’know, that thing has been jammed for… years. Thank you.”

You give him a tight-lipped smile and nod. “Yes. Thank you, Mr. Miller.” The light glare he sends you means you’ll pay for that one later. Joel clears his throat and nods, too. He turns to you now, and you share a look. 

“Just… let me know if it happens again. Might need to replace the hinge entirely. Small piece of it could be broken, might be why it keeps slippin’ out of place.”

“Yeah. For sure. Thanks.” 

You walk past your mother and open the door from him, but he still stands between your parents. What the hell is he doing?

“While I have you both, I was just tellin’ your daughter ‘bout a business trip I have comin’ up.” Huh? “ It’s not for Miller Contracting. It’s more for the town. I’m gettin’ materials for the old church-”

“Oh, the one with the broken stained glass mural on the east side of town?” Your mother chirps in. “We just drove past it. Just saying how someone needs to fix it up.” Joel’s lightly nodding to your mother’s words, her face soft as she listens to him with curiosity. 

“Well, I was tellin’ her about it ‘cause I could use some help getting materials from a supplier in Houston. I’d normally ask Sarah to tag along and help, but she said she’s got some graduation parties next weekend that she doesn’t wanna miss. Would it be alright if-”

“Oh, of course! Yes, please, if you need her help and she wants to go, she’s all yours.” 

Your eyes are wide, trying not to seem too shocked by Joel secretly sweeping you out from under your parents without them even noticing. 

Joel turns to you, eyebrow cocked.  “That okay with you? Next weekend. Friday to Sunday sort’f thing.” 

A whole weekend alone with Joel? Your insides are bursting, but you have to seem apathetic. 

“Mhm. Sure.” 

Joel sneaks you a private smile. “Really appreciate it. Ya’ll have a good rest of your evenin’.” And with that, he’s out the front door. 

You couldn’t believe what just happened. 

You try to act casual before you make it off to your room, but your mother’s voice pulls you to a halt. 

“Ah-ah, not so fast. Back it up.”

You quietly sigh before coming back to the main part of the kitchen. She narrows her eyes on you and lightly crosses her arms. Your fight with her from yesterday is still fresh, and it makes holding prolonged eye contact difficult. 

“Are you seeing a boy?”

Your eyes widen on instinct. Your dad pauses the sip of his beer and watches you carefully. You try to hold together a poker face as best as you can, but you’re worried your shock is already seeping through. 

“Wha- A boy? Why would you think that?” The laugh you force out sounds too fake. And you’re a terrible liar.  You feel so hot all of a sudden. You wished Joel was still here to talk you in and out of shit. It was a skill of his you’d surely have to learn. 

“Well, we heard the door close really late last night after you walked Joel out. We were just wondering if... You know, there’s a special someone that you’re seeing.” Of course, she hoped you would tie yourself down to someone in Texas. 

“Yeah, did a boy pick you up after dinner or somethin’?” Your father presses, eyes narrowing protectively over you. “You seein’ a boy or not, honey?”

You didn’t want to lie, but you certainly weren’t ready to tell them the truth about you and Joel. 

“Uhm.” Your brain scrabbles for an answer and ultimately chooses poorly. “Sorta. I don’t know. Kind of?” 

Your mother tightens her lips in a smile and nods a little. “We’ll let it go for now, but-”

“God- Mom, please.” You groan and put your face in your hands, closing your eyes and wishing this nightmare was over. 

“But,” she annoyingly emphasizes, “If it gets serious, we want to meet this young man.” She says with a firm nod before turning back to your father and putting away the items in their shopping bags. 

Meet him? They want to meet the boy you’re seeing? What will they do when they find out the boy is actually a full-grown man, a forty-something-year-old with a teenage daughter? And that man was not only their friend and neighbor but Joel fucking Miller. Fuck. Your luck was running out. 

---

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#joel miller #joel miller smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal the last of us #pedro pascal joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller one shot #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #therapist joel #tlou #tlou fic #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #hellishjoel #joel miller x reader #dbf!joel #dbf!joel miller #dad's best friend #neighbor!joel miller #joel tlou

[anemptypuddingcup]

contains size difference & overstimulation.

trans boy yamato.

Yamato stared at you blankly as he watched you cook up some dinner in the kitchen. He was rather intrigued by your small size and cute mannerisms, actually he adored every inch of your and your body. He could help but to and even if you were rather smaller than him it didn’t stop you from getting with him.

Though parts of him worried that he’d hurt you from any type of affection.

“B-Babes…” He calls out to you, a nervous expression spread across his face as he pressed his fingertips together nervously. “Hm? Yes Mato sweetie?” You called out to him, giving him a sweet little smile. His smile almost melts the nervousness away from his body. Keyword almost.

“Do you ever worry about me hurtin’ ya? Like what him I accidentally hurt you..?” He asks, getting down to his knees to meet your height. You smile softly to him before peppering a kiss to his lips. “Yamato. I honestly wouldn’t mind that. It’s not our fault that our sizes are different.” You tell him honestly. He blinks for a moment before looking away nervously.

“W-Well…Could we…u-uhm…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact he’s a bit too nervous to finish it. You blink to him before tiling your head out of curiosity. “Could we what sweetie?” You ask him. He glances to you before averting his eye contact from you. “C-Could we…m-make love tonight? L-Like we did last time!?” He asked, his large and soft hands grasping your smaller ones.

Your face begins to turn a deep shade of red and a nervous yet pleasing smile spreads across your face. “Y-Yes! Yes we can Yamato! I’d love to!” You smile to him. His eyes glistening and in the blink of an eye he swoops you up off of your feet and begins peppering kisses all over your face. “Ah! Yamato! L-Let me finish making dinner first silly!” You giggle to him.

Oh dear, it wasn’t a mistake to agree with this. However, you weren’t very used to Yamato yet. Not his size neither his behavior yet.

“A-Ahhh? Is this feelin’ good babes? Ya letting’ out so much of your voice.” Yamato breathes out shakily as he continues to thrusts into you, making sure to hit you deep inside and kiss your cervix. You let out loud gasps as you hand had stayed waffled with his, gripping his hands tightly while you arch your back off of your mattress.

“Y-Yes!~ I-It feels so g-good M-Mato!~ Y-You’re d-doing so g-gooood!~” You say out lengthily, your brows furrowing while tears began to brew at your eyes. He lets out a little chuckle as he watches you melt on his cock, the lewd sight of your legs loosely wrapped around his hips while his cock was embedded deep inside of you and spilling your juices out everywhere.

He enjoyed seeing you like this, enjoying and taking every inch of him like the sweet little woman you were. A sudden thrust against your cervix causes you to throw your head back, your eyes rolling up slightly as you felt that Yamato knocked some wind out of your lungs. “M-MHH!~” You let out a sweet yet loud moan as he continued to thrust into you, his soft lips pressing sweet kisses against your cheek and he whispers how good you were for him.

“W-Wow. Y-Ya really takin’ it all in like that. You’re such a good girl aren’t ya!” He whispers to you, a soft smile spread across his face. You bite your bottom lip as you felt yourself ready to release on his cock and so you suffer against him. “M-Mato! M-Mato m-m’gonna!- I-I’M C-CUMMING!~” You yell out shakily to him

Yamato’s eyes grew wide as he watches you squirt out onto his lower tummy, an amazed gasp leaving his lips as you did. “Woahhh, w-what was that? Y-You usually cream b-but I’ve never seen ya squirt like that before!” He asks you, seeming amazed by your orgasm. You trembled below him as he continues to thrust into you, a shaky yet loving whine leaving you as his cock continues to kiss your cervix and possibly deeper.

“Y-Yamato! Yamatoooo~” You moan out his name as you struggle to get your words out to him, but he was already so deep in wanting to make you cum again. “C-Cmon! I wanna see that again! I wanna hear those sounds again babes! Scream some more for me!” He says to you, heavy breaths leaving his lips as he felt himself growing close as well.

You mewl out underneath him as you felt his arms wrap around your body lovingly, a few whimpers leaving his lips and he trembles against you. “M-Mmgh~ I-I wanna c-cum~ B-But I wanna see you d-do that again~” He gasps out, drool spilling from his lips as he thrusts into you a bit more quickly.

Louder moans leave your lips as your cunt clenches around Yamato’s cock and you felt yourself ready to cum once again. “M-Matooo~ I-I feel it c-coming again!~” You moan out to him making him go faster inside of you. “I-I wanna c-cum too! C-Cum with me b-baby!~” He moans out before pressing a loving kiss to your lips. You trembled against you before shutting your eyes, a loud moan leaving your lips once again as you squirt out onto him and the sheets.

Yamato lets out a deep groan as he cums deep into your cunt, a satisfied moan leaving his lips as finally releases deep inside of you. He shivers against you as he grew cold and hugs you a bit tighter while you pressed your hands up against his forearms. He felt so warm and loving, so comfortable against you. “B-Babes? Are you okay?” He asked worryingly. You smile softly to him.

“I-I’m alright Yamato…” You chuckle to him. He gets silent for a moment. “I-I didn’t go too rough on you did I? Did I do good enough?” He asks nervously. You giggle before pressing a kiss to his temple. “You did wonderful sweetheart, I enjoyed it so much…” You admit to him, running your hair through his snow white strands.

He hums softly as he cuddles up against you, a little yawn leaving him as he grew tired. “I’m happy you did…I was worried that I’d hurt you…” He says softly to you. “I told you Yamato, it’s alright. We both enjoyed it didn’t we? I’m happy that we both felt good.” You say to him before pressing another smooch to his temple. He smiles and nods to you.

“Mhmm! I’m happy ya loved it…I’m really glad you enjoyed it babes.” He says sleepily.

#one piece #one piece smut #one piece fluff #op smut #op fluff #one piece x female reader #one piece yamato #op yamato #yamato smut #yamato fluff #yamato x reader #puddingcupimagines

[luxthestrange]

TWST Incorrect quotes#690 Same Boat Gang

This is a song I feel resonates with...Ruggie stans, Jamil Stans

Yuu*After seeing his sad past that turned them into the...piece of work, he turned out to be and sighs*...

So things look bad, and your back's against the wall Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall Can't face the world proudly and dopeless~

You've lost your way, ya think your life is wrecked Well, let me just say you're correct~

Ruggie/Jamil*Is sitting down, feeling the worst then eyes widen confused at you* Wait, what?

Yuu*Smirking at him taking dancing steps back with a beat In your step,making a "L" with your finger on your forehead* You're a loser, baby A loser, goddamn, baby You're a fucked up little whiny bitch~

Ruggie/Jamil*Offended seeing you dance around him mocking him* Hey!

Yuu: You're a loser, just like me~

Ruggie/Jamil: Thanks, asshole

Yuu: You're a screws loose Loser An only one-star reviews-er You're a power-bottom at rock bottom But you got company~

Ruggie/Jamil: This supposed to make me feel better?!

Yuu*Looking at your own reflection and thinking about your past while also the BS you have to deal with Crowley* There was a time I thought no one could relate To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged But lettin' walls down, it can sometimes set you straight! We're all livin' in the same shit-sandwich

Ruggie/Jamil*Looking at his own hands at all the damage and hurt he caused others from his less-than-ethical deeds and now people close to him*... I sold my soul to a Depressed Freak/Dumbass Freaks-

Yuu*Snickers at that and raises a brow at him, Holding a hand out for him to take* Haha! And you think that makes you unique? Get outta here, man!~ We're both losers, baby We're losers, it's okay to be a~

Ruggie/Jamil: Greedy, Puppeter Thief?/Pridefull, Brainwashing Liar?

Yuu*Getting close to him with a smile* Baby, that's fine by me~

Ruggie/Jamil*Smiles and starts to get into the groove and proudly singing* I'm a loser, honey~ A schmoozer and a dummy But at least I know I'm not alone~

Both of you in harmony: You're a loser, Just like me~

Ruggie/Jamil*Leans on your back and looking at your affectionately* You're a loser, baby~

Yuu: A loser, but just maybe if we~

Both of you: Eat shit together, things will end up differently

Yuu*Both of you start to dance in each other's arms as you sing to him your feelings* It's time to lose your self-loathin' Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby Play your card, be who you are~

Both of you holding each others hands as you gaze into each other's eyes: A loser, just like me

When you are both dependent on this rich guy who practically owns your entire life by now and a whole ass income...Same boat Gang~

#twst #twst disney #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu #twst yuu #twst savanaclaw #twst scarabia #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie bucchi x yuu #jamil viper x reader #jamil viper x yuu #jamil viper #twst fluff #twst incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #Youtube

[southern-gothic-comic]

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(Author Notes)

Panel 1-2-3: The next day at her job Imogen is looking tired and overwhelmed, resting her elbows on the counter and massaging her temples against a headache. The voices and thoughts of the other customers in the packed store crowd against her as she struggles to fill orders and she can’t seem to block them out. Everyone is clamoring for remedies, everyone is tense and nervous and angry, and all of them are causing her further pain. After a few panels she is flushed and sweating and on the verge of breaking down.

Miscellaneous Voices, spoken and unspoken: What do you mean, it’s out of stock? — What help is that to me? — laudanum, oatmeal, licorice root, antimonial — No! I said belladonna and chicory root, not licorice!! Are you even listenin’ to me? — Sweet Sarenrae what am I gonna do, where am I gonna get it? — Get a move on, stupid girl! — HOW MUCH for a healin’ potion?? — gods what’m I gonna do if he gets it too it’ll just be me left on my feet — Don’t you go cuttin’ the line, Esther Hayes. I’ve been waitin’ here all afternoon! — I got three sick kids at home! — You and everyone else in town. Get to the back of the line! — What is takin’ so long up there? — Momma, my throat hurts! Momma I wanna go hoooome! — quinine, chicken soup, epsom salts, mustardseed, honey — Two weeks, I can’t wait two weeks! I need it today! — how long is this line? — barley, oranges, throat elixir

Imogen, finally: Excuse me.

Customer: Now where do you think you’re goin’, girl? You’re not done with me yet!

Panel 4: She goes into the back room and leans against a shelf, trembling. Laudna, who is perched on a high shelf counting the dwindling stock, leans over to look at her.

Imogen: L-laudna? Are you in here? 

Her thoughts: I need you.

Laudna: Whatever is the matter, dearest?

Imogen: I’m . . . I’m not feelin’ too good.

Panel 5: She descends and Imogen falls into her arms and buries her face in her shoulder. Laudna leans back a little to support her weight.

Imogen: Everyone is too loud and too much and everything hurts and I can’t block it out and I don’t know why. It hurts.

Panel 6: Imogen leans appreciatively into the coolness of Laudna’s hand as she lays it against her forehead.

Laudna: Here, let me-- Oh, darling. You’re much too warm. 

Imogen: You sure it’s not just that you’re cold?

Laudna: No, you have a fever. You poor thing. Do you feel achy? Queasy? Itchy? Do you want some water? You ought to be home in bed, not out there being shrilled at by that gaggle of harpies.

Her thoughts: gods she is burning up what should I do where to find a doctor all right get her home put her to bed keep her safe but there’s no medicine left what should I do

Imogen: Can’t leave while the store’s still so full. It’s fine. I just need to sit down for a minute . . .

Laudna: You leave that to me.

Panel 7-8: Laudna leaves the stockroom briefly, leaving Imogen sitting on a grain sack. Screams are heard. She returns.

Laudna: Shop’s empty! Let’s go.

#critical role #critical role fanart #critical role comic #imogen temult #laudna #imodna #southerngothic #imogen x laudna #comics #a long road home #mintywolf

[soobinskii]

seonghwa nsfw a-z headcanons

warnings : smut.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

– he takes care of you SO well. wiping down your body & face, kissing after every swipe of the cloth against your skin. he always has water next to the bed. you want snacks? hwa is already off to the kitchen before you're done asking

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

– hwa really likes his eyes & mouth. he said himself, "i can't keep my tongue in my mouth, it just does what it wants" & he adores eye contact, seeing your eyes roll back as he fucks into you arouses him like nothing else can.

– he likes every part of you, but especially your face. hwa likes watching your expressions to see just how good he makes you feel.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

– he enjoys cumming on your chest or in your mouth: on your chest, if hes feeling dirty; in your mouth for less clean up.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

– while he's washing clothes, he may steal a pair of panties, just to jack off with later. he always washes them after. it's just the thought of him feeling so incredibly dirty.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

– he's not very physically experienced, but he's watched enough videos / porn to know what he's doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

– missionary, good view of your face, more intimate. seonghwa loves intimacy.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

– he has a few goofy moments if you're just making love,, but when he's going all in, he's serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

– very clean, not fully shaven down but definitely trimmed well. he doesn't like feeling bald but never lets it get extremely long.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

– like i said, very very intimate. he loves being soft with you. he adores you and wants to let you know at every moment of the day, even during sex.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

– doesn't jack off often, once a week, twice if he has the panties. he'd prefer to have sex over jacking off.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

– praise : LOVE LOVE LOVESSS giving & receiving praise. it's his biggest thing.

– aural kink : likes hearing you moan, say his name as you cum, the wet noises coming from between your legs.

– mommy kink : he enjoys being called mommy after a hard day

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

– the bedroom. it leaves the least amount of mess.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

– having a hard day & needing to release stress, feeling so overwhelmed and full of love after you do something sweet for him, just watching you with the biggest stars in his eyes. he gets horny from being soft. he loves the soft & sweet aspect of romance

– after concerts. adrenaline really gets him going. thats when he's going to fuck you hard and rough.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

– ddlg / mdlb, he doesn't get this deep into being called mommy. he feels off when someone is being called "little", doesn't like it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

– he prefers giving, he adores taking care of you. he loves the taste of your sweet arousal on his tongue. (he gets pussy drunk so easily)

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

– fast but not hard/rough. he starts slow but then as you're about to cum, he starts speeding up a bit.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

– he only wants quickies when you ask, he prefers long sex, where he can take his time and really make you feel good. he wants to heighten your senses with foreplay.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

– every once in a while, yes. but he prefers doing things he knows you like, just incase you end up not liking it as much as you thought, or feeling uncomfortable.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

– he can go for a while. about 3-4 rounds, since he's so focused on making you cum quick. his pleasure is yours.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

– owns a few vibrators, no dildos. maybe a cock ring or two.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

– he likes teasing a fair amount. he'll tease you a bunch in foreplay, he's lowkey kinda big on orgasm denial.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

– he's not very loud, he's really listening to your moans and sounds of pleasure. he moans just enough for you to hear. mainly grunts; small whimpers when he cums.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

– he loves seeing the marks on the both of you after. the hickies, scratch marks, nail crescents in his arm, the bite marks on your neck.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

– a bit over average, average girth. knows very well on how to use it to hit all the right angles & spots.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

– honestly really high. he could have sex with you three times in one day like it's breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

– not quickly, he could stay up all day after. he's not rough so it saves up all of his energy.

a/n: i really like this kekw i think hwa is so so cute. i love seonghwa

#seonghwa smut #seonghwa #ateez smut #ateez #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa smut #kpop smut

[yawarakaizai]

pmzai with an equally miserable s/o fem reader

ⵌ IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

SENDER Reader (Fem) RECIPITENT PM Dazai Osamu (BSD) CONTENTS You sit and stare and wait for him to return to you. You've been bad and you've been good. There's nothing and no one that gives you purpose like he. NOTE reader+dazai are 17/18, implications of s/h, slight misogyny, death of parent, it's kind of angsty.. , soft couple, miserable couple, sui/cide mention+ideation COMPANY I'm Not Human At All

A/N ʚ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ɞ th is wa s har d to make b ecause i h ad sOOO OO m any ide as an d my playli st wa s feelin g good an d kept pla y ing song s th at g ave me diff fic ide as ;; th is is sad ,,, i do nt like sa d fics bu t ,,, this is kin d of a ven t? hehe FEE L FREE TO REQ UEST MOR E!

Your tender heart would care for an injured bunny rescued from a bear trap.

You'd nurse the animal as best you could yet it would always die.

Your father was a hunter. He earned your living costs by selling animal hide and what meat he'd have spare after covering what you'll need. Your mother died when you were a little girl.

You were as sweet as your mother.

Your father would tell stories of how She would gaze out on the winter sky and say to Herself, "My daughter will be as snow. Gentle and graceful, yet freezing to those who demand more of what perfect she is already."

When your Mother died, they put Her in a box full of pink carnations and orchids. Surely to counteract the smell of Her decaying corpse, to display Her flesh as something beautiful before her descent under soil to where Her bones will return and fertilise what surrounds.

Rural life in Japan was not for the weak. Which you were.

You picked up what your Mother left behind.

Tending to the chickens in their coops and shearing the sheep, you'd milk the cows and free the rabbits when Father wasn't looking.

Your hands plush with baby fat would clench around your rosary every night and pray like a good girl.

By the time you reached puberty, your features resembled your Mother more than ever before. Your figure changed and as did your father.

He'd sneer at the dress that fit you perfectly just two years ago. You'd become defiant and bold, a rebellious child.

" Father, but why? "

Your protests and argumentative nature would anger him. And now, you weren't a good girl.

Shouting battles always left you sobbing into thick pillows until your throat hurt.

It was at the age of fifteen did you find out what lies beneath your thin flesh and blue pulse.

You are made of bright crimson and spite.

At sixteen, you ran away.

It was impulsive. You forgot how and what happened. You don't want to remember.

Your calves ached and your feet blistered with pain from trudging up and down hills and farms.

You are a mixture of love and loss.

Everything is a blur, and sometimes you question whether running away was the wisest thing to do.

You had collapsed the moment you stepped foot into the city.

A sad, lost soul who ran away from her father.

You had been a..

" Very bad girl. "

The voice startled you enough for you to spill the batter all over your clean white apron.

" Osamu! " You cried out in disbelief, the boy laughing hysterically. " That isn't funny, knock it off. "

In a way, Dazai reminded you of those bunnies you'd rescue in your youth. He was caught and wounded by the claws of Life. And although you may cup his cheeks into your hands and tell him 'You're alive', he had already died before you were able to cradle him to your chest.

" I told you not to wake up early, Y/N! I should have known to not mention my fondness of crêpes to you. "

You felt untamed, wild hair brush against the bare of your neck before soft lips made contact with your jawline. A soft kiss pressing into what was cold. He was grateful to have you in his sad miserable life.

And even if you two were not perfect for each other, you'd both die to watch the world burn.

" I did it on my own accord. " You lied. " You did not. " He calls your bluff like air. You huff in surrender.

Setting down the metal bowl of paste, you turn to face him. You think of the horrors that his empty, black eye must have seen. His other eye, obscured by bandages, was a mystery to you. You respected him enough to not budge him about it.

" I wished to make you something special. "

You confess, certain he already knew your intention. Your boyfriend was simply smarter than many.

" I don't need anything. Coming home to you is enough, bella. '' His hand stretches to you like death.

Your eyes were not as bright as they were when you were little. They reflected the bad girl that you've become. The one that left her sickly impoverished father in treacherous conditions alone because her feelings were hurt.

" Belladonna. "

He'd pull you back into reality when he'd notice you slipping.

" 'samu. You've barely been coming home anymore, okay? Let me do this, just this once for you. " You snaked your arms around his waist and he mirrored your action, twirling you both out of the kitchen.

Dazai was inexplicable to you. He was a man your father wouldn't like. A man your Mother would hate. A man your younger self would despise.

You willingly moved into a shared apartment with the mafia executive after a few months of living in Yokohama. It was him to have picked you up from the streets. Sensing you were worth more than the muddied appearance you showed at that time.

Your one-time use turned into a second-time use, and your second-time use blossomed like a flower in Spring. You interested him.

You both intoxicated each other. Dazai was able to make you feel light. You felt weightless and as fragile as a butterfly. Weak, small and at his mercy.

" Then don't hide yourself away from the kitchen when I'm right here, love. "

By the time your spinning head focused on what was around you again, he had toppled you both onto the living room couch. He loomed over you, fully dressed in his mafia uniform, his stupid tie obscuring your vision until he tucked it between the buttons of his revere blouse.

" What would you do if I were to die? "

" Osamu. Stop that. "

You muttered.

You feel his life. The warmth of his body, the tender flow of blood heating his body as his finger traced patterns into your cheek. Your heart keeps beating.

" Answer me, Y/N. "

You didn't enjoy thinking of your partners demise. You wouldn't mind if you were to die.

The problem was, you didn't want to be alive for your boyfriends funeral, yet you didn't wish for your boyfriend to be alive for yours.

You loved each other to the point it became hate. Hate for how the other made living seem worth it.

Dazai had an eventful life. You did not.

You had no education whatsoever. According to the government, you did not exist. You had no birth certificate. You were no one. You lived hidden in this cramped apartment.

When Dazai was away, it was only you and your thoughts. Your thoughts were a dangerous thing.

" I think I would kill myself too. "

Your voice caught up on an unexpected crack. You were puzzled until your vision became glassy.

" Pretty baby. I'm sorry. " His apology was belated as you'd already begun to sniffle, he lowered his weight on you, turning to lay on his side as he pulled you in close, coaxing you into silence.

" Don't die, 'samu. Not here, not now. " Your sad little beg mused him.

Dazai was all you had left. You were most certain that if you were to part, you would die.

With Dazai, you were still inadequate. Without Dazai, you truly were nothing but a walking corpse.

He thinks that you are something weak and soft, with a fire raging in you that cried to be extinguished before it could spread.

You hush yourself to enjoy the feeling surrounding you. You feel Dazai's ribcage rise with each steady breath he takes. The beating of a heart is somewhere far deep in, and yours is jumping in your throat.

" Not now. " He repeated after you, and part of you wished to believe it.

There was something mystical about Osamu.

Something that warned you to not feed coal to the flame.

And that if you reached your hand in, you'd burn yourself on what was forbidden.

©yawarakaizai 2023 ﹒﹒ reblogs appreciated! requests open :3

#dazai x reader #pmzai #pm dazai x reader #bsd x reader #port mafia dazai x reader

[3vergr3en]

Rough sex with Suguru.

Geto Suguru is a man who loves rough sex. Frustrated? He’s pounding into your aching cunt for hours straight. Feelin’ a lil depressed? He’s stuffing you full of his cum just to watch it drip out of you to make him feel better.

“Geto..” You’d whimper ever so quietly, almost inaudible as the man under you shushes you with his soft voice, “Shh, it’s okay, princess. You’d let m-me— fuck— use you to make me feel better, right? My girl would let me use th-this tight, warm pussy of hers to let me fuck all of my worries away, right, baby?”

His tone is so soft, so gentle while he slams your hips down onto his pelvis, fucking the head of his leaking cock up into your cervix. Swallowing your cries into his mouth, kissing you passionately as he continues his merciless pounding into your sopping pussy.

His hands are gripping tightly at your ass, surely leaving bruises that he’ll only see (and that thought urges him to fuck more of his cum into you). “G-gonna fuck you full of my cum, princess. You’d like that, right?” He’d grunt against your lips, suppressing the dying need to cum as you moan pathetically at his words. Everything was so dirty, it turned the both of you on. A mixture of your juices and his cum were smeared all over your thighs and his pelvis, dripping down to coat his balls.

“Fuck, l-look at you. S’my cock fucking you that dumb, princess? So fucked stupid that you can’t respond?” Geto moans, taking in the sight of your body bouncing helplessly on top of his. Your breasts rubbing against his chest, knowing for sure that the friction is making your sensitive nipples overstimulated. You could only moan in response as your nails dragged themselves across your boyfriend’s broad shoulders.

“Gonna fuck you all night till I’m spent.”

#geto x you #getou suguru x reader #geto smut #geto x y/n #jujutsu geto #geto suguru #geto x reader #jjk geto #jujutsu kaisen #headcanon #geto headcanons #geto scenarios #smut #filth #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen #jjk x you #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk season 2 #jjk

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I'm fucking out of gas and runnin' on E when it comes to my TokRev stuff and I'm super sad. So I watched this today and fell in love with it a little bit more. To my besties out there, I'm sorry 😭😭😭 for tagging you in something you probably don't even CARE about. But thank you if you read this, anyway. Ilygsm <3

C/W ::: NSFW Headcanons. Just MDNI UNDER THE CUT, please.

Asahi Azumane HC’s

SFW

This man is the type you want to bring home to have dinner with your parents and then throw down on your childhood bed after dessert.

His favorite parts of his body are his eyes and his hands. He says he likes them because they help him win games and they helped him win your heart.

He. Is. Sappy. Fairly often.

His favorite parts of your body are your eyes, lips, hands, ass and thighs. He likes to stare into your eyes and look down at your lips before he kisses you. He likes that he can cover a good portion of your thigh with his hands and leave a huge handprint on your ass when he's in the mood to do so.

He used to sleep on his side until you started sleeping over. Now he sleeps on his back so you can cuddle up next to him under his arm and rest your head on his chest.

Has written you secret poetry. Nothing epic, but just like 5-10 lines about how you remind him of the most beautiful and exotic flower. 

Secretly hopes you find the stash he has of these papers so he can quit living the lie about how he writes poems for you. 

L-o-v-e-s it when you let him lay his head on your lap while you're just sitting around watching a movie or at a picnic on the hillside overlooking the city. He says it relaxes him (but if you do it for too long he gets to feelin' it and then is like - "Hey, *raises his eyebrows a couple of times* ... you wanna uh, go for a ride with me?"

Gets along with moms and dads. Moms can't get over how handsome, charming AND nice he is. Dads are always impressed with his professionalism and drive when it comes to practice, game days and his education.

Your friends like him because he treats you like his own private queen. But like, low-key. He doesn't want you to get all arrogant because that's such a gross character trait. He loves you and he lets you know. And that's good enough for you both.

Doesn't love you unconditionally - which is refreshing. It's an equal partnership and you've both never been in something like that before. You both say it’s your first ‘adult’ relationship with someone else.

NSFW

He's so big that you can actually climb him like a tree (he not only lets you, but encourages it).

Will kiss you so softly and sweetly until he starts to get into it. Then he's a moaning big little mess over/under you - wherever he happens to be at the time.

He likes it when you're on top, though, so he can sorta be face to face with you. He's so damn tall that his head is either banging against the headboard or his feet dangle off the edge of the bed. So if you're on top, then he has all kinds of leisurely positions at his disposal.

His hips are wide and his thighs are too. (But not in a weird way - in a strong fucking hot ass athletic man way)

Likes it when you ride his thighs - doesn't have a preference about which one - is just happy when you're dragging your wet pussy across his muscular leg until you're cumming all over it.

His cock. sigh It's so fucking gorgeous: Cut, 7"L x 2.25"Diameter, goes straight up against his abdomen - has been bigger on occasion, depending on how pent up/turned on he is.

Kisses your neck a lot, whenever, wherever.

Gives you a lot of back hugs when he's horny. He thinks it's funny how his cock presses into your back. Jokes that if you just stood on a stool to do the dishes or cook things, it'd be so much easier to just have you.

Into spanking, but not hurting you. It's more like foreplay for him or in the heat of the moment. He has spanked you harder than at other times, but you never say anything to him about it because you like it and don’t want him to stop.

He likes to fuck you after games. Whether he wins or loses. It's just become a sort of tradition.

Blushes when you suck his dick. He thinks it's so lewd and so sexy that he has trouble looking you in the eye but FUCK HE LOVES HOW YOU LOOK WHEN YOU'RE BETWEEN HIS LEGS so he forces himself to maintain eye contact - not for extended periods of time, but throughout. He found it was easier to break up the intensity rather than face it all at once.

Has a breeding kink but doesn't even know what that is/won't admit it. He. Loves. To. Cum. Inside. Of. You. He says things through loosely gritted teeth, "Ohhh yeah? 'M g'na fill y'r cute li'l hole, angel. G'na be so full from this ... mmhm. Geh ready, cum-cummin'!"

Is shy about saying "cunt" and "pussy". You're working on it w/him.

Has cum before from just eating you out. Was NOT embarrassed about it. 

He likes to watch your pussy twitch after he makes you cum on his tongue.

Likes to tease you about your kinks. He's always like, "Ooooh, you're such a ... s-slut - wanna get fucked by your dad, huh? I knew you were a little dirty brat - you like to take it in all your holes, baby girl?"

Is absolutely ruined and humiliated when you say "Asa," you slap your forehead with the palm of your hand, "NO ONE wants to be fucked by their - oh god. It's 'daddy', ok babe? D-A-D-D-Y."

Vows to never tease you about the filthy shit you like so long as you don't remind him how he said that to you one day.

Taglist ::: @arlerts-angel @kazutora-kurokawa @katkitkats @viburnt

@mackenziebrooks (hope it's ok to tag you in this! i think we talked about it at one point, yeah?)

#asahi azumane #azumane asahi #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x you #asahi x reader #asahi x you #asahi fluff #asahi azumane fluff #azumane asahi fluff #asahi smut #haikyuu smut