#-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller

[end-orfino]

ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something #but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized. #and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this- #-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace- #-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller #which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this #and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely #oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it- #-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart #so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it. #fun./sar #i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to #because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get- #-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of #its probably the resilience though #im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically #this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it #just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear #it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over. #i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts #this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement. #its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every- #-time achievement #what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past. #even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again #if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa

[who-is-page]

What's the spite convention for? eyes

Anon, I don't know if or how long you may have been following me for, but do you know how I got my start in alterhuman circles? How I ended up becoming at least somewhat known in communities, what inspired me to start writing and creating content in the alterhuman community, first on Tumblr, then on my own website and in my own publications?

Someone told me that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't "important" enough. That I could never hope to make an impact, that I could never hope to bring about change. And it lit a fire of inhuman fury in my heart that's never. Fucking. Gone. Out.

Watching Naia Okami look the OtherCon chair dead in the eye and sneer at him about his supposed lacking of any renowned, trying to frame it as something pitiful or making it self-serving that he continues to go out of his way to host this event, to use her words, "despite being a relatively unknown person in the community," makes me enraged beyond language could ever hope to convey.

How fucking dare someone try to imply that another individual and their work is worth less simply because of something as nebulous and finicky and impermanent as 'community fame.' What gives them the right? What sort of crown of authority do such snotmuzzles, with their myths on the importance of gilded fake internet points above all else, have?

I could be nice, and say that such language and perspective is because of a sole familiarity only with cookie-cutter content creations, pushed onto Naia and others due to how the modern Internet works with us artists desperately trying to appease the algorithm and similar. That, perhaps, given she is simply something closer to a television personality, it could be said she just lacks any understanding or experience of how much more important “heart” and “effort” is in any given piece than “fame”.

But I’m not going to be nice, because I don’t believe that to be the case. Because I’ve been at the end of that sneer before, if not Naia’s, then certainly others’. It’s never out of ignorance; it’s out of malice. It’s people trying to make themselves seem bigger by making everyone else seem smaller, trying to create their own little cliques with their ever-changing goal posts, trying to smear other’s achievements to hide their own failings and pitiful self-worth issues. It’s people kicking others down into the earth and standing on their back for a little extra height to try and proclaim themself a lord and all others peons. It’s people who don’t want a community: they want a narrative that they can control, that centers themself and others like them, whether that be in an exclusionary sense or merely in a greedy, spotlight sense.

It’s fucking immoral, it’s destructive, and it’s not behavior we, as a community, should ever condone or accept as okay. Maybe it’s the scholar in me, maybe it’s the psychopomp in me, maybe it’s something else, but I refuse to sit back and let someone try and demolish the hard work of a convention and disavow multiple convention chairs just because the people actually putting out the work for these amazing events aren’t also in these so-called “renowned” folks’ petty little groups, on their knees worshiping social status and popularity. 

Fuck the groveling at the altar of upvotes, of likes, of views, of clicks. Fuck the idea that someone’s contributions to community spaces are based purely on how well they appease this nebulous god “Popularity.” It means nothing and I refuse to pretend that it means anything. This is my ode to that. This is me digging my claws into the ground and saying, no, fuck you, I was that person who was disregarded and insulted for being “new” and a so-called “unknown” and I will never stop supporting people who are accused and belittled of the same, but who still create and share their joy with others even despite that. I and others like me will outlast any pathetic exclusionary, spotlight-desperate attempts at a hierarchy of experience, in both the terminological sense and longevity sense, and this is my fuck you, go ahead and try to anyone who wants to think otherwise. 

“Greymuzzle” isn’t a term that people get applied to them because they’ve shown up on television, or because they have oh-so-many TikTok followers. It’s a community term given based on what people actually do in the community, existing entirely outside of shit like having your own KnowYourMeme page; it’s a title that denotes respect and appreciation earned on your own merit, never something self-given and always community-bestowed. And people who sprout shit trying to advocate for some sort of nonsensical, holier-than-thou “You Must Have X Followers To Ride” bullshit system are no greymuzzles. Our community will never stop prioritizing what people make with their own two paws, and if I can help that in my own way by hosting a future event where anyone, especially, as Naia put it, “relatively unknown person[s]” can showcase the things they love to talk about, their art, their writings… then, by gods, it’s my fucking duty to. 

#otherkin #therian #fictionkin #alterhuman #aok #kinshaming #long post #ALSO LITERALLY EVERYONE KNOWS WHO DINOCANID IS. NAIA. COME ON NOW.

[bottledemotion]

The cries of our tune, the melodies in our laughter (Part 1/3)

- Venti X Female Reader; Part 1/3 of the fic

- Reader looks like a Bard, but she’s more of the type of person who compose, sings, and plays instruments as a hobby.

- warning: Angst, implied/referenced child neglect

- 3.6k+ words; Rated T

- A/N: So uhm, hi. This acc is not dead, this fic just took me longer to finish than expected. Purely self indulgent, this idea has been stuck on my mind for far too long. So you might notice some inaccurate information regarding certain topics.

The first key that she drew across the strings to her fiddle vibrates to the empty room. Its note filled up the silence enclosed within her. She didn't drew another one as a follow up, instead, she let the note echoed for a moment, giving her a moment of time to take a deep breath, and finally, continue playing.

From silence, it got fully drowned to a song she played to her fiddle. She let her body move in accordance to the melodies her fiddle struck, like a water in the sea or the wind in the sky, free and in tune.

From her body movements and the soft music she's playing, everyone will truly expect she's the "Most Popular Bard of Mondstadt."

Because she is.

She's the perfect example and definition of a "genius" and "perfection". Their words, not hers for she is not the type to brag, only her parents. From the trophies and awards from every competition she sweeped victories are displayed on every wall available to her tiny room, her parents took every opportunity to brag about this to everyone they talked to. Milking their reactions and the worth of having a child who is a "genius bard" to a low class family, taking every opportunity to raise their families name social status up in the skies by making their very own daughter stand on the podium like a artifact on display on a high class auctions, taking all of their attention and money just to commission to her.

To her disbelief, no one judged her about being in a low class family. Yes she got foul looks and cruel words whispered behind her back, it's one of the perks when living in the city of freedom after all, but those mostly got shot down when others gave them a taste of their own medicines which is much more worse than hers.

She guesses this is one of the perks of being a famous bard in the city of freedom.

It's funny to watch their disgusted stares and harsh words sending her way, thinking that those will help them to become "perfect" like what everyone else says about her. It's also funny to hear "perfect" and "[Name]" to be in the same sentence too. To every eye looking at her, all they see is perfection. But if you ask [Name] herself, there's no perfect from the venomous lies she spit hidden behind on pretty words and tunes she plays.

If there's one thing right about the whispers they spout about her, it would be her song. Yes every song she makes and plays holds perfection.

But most of those lack life.

Like hers

A high, off key tune disturbed her raging thoughts, making her huffed under her breath and stopped her movements. She took a deep breath and tried again, this time with full concentration from gliding the drew from the fiddle and moving freely from it, in passion and grace from her movements. Both in sync, making her look like she's free.

But she's not. She is not a water in the sea nor the wind in the sky, for she is not truly free from the cage she got herself locked up to.

Like a bird in a cage, she continues to sing to appease the people around her. In reward, they compliment her with pretty words and gifts that might appease her.

Yet they always forgot the thick bar steels between them, separating her from everyone, which made everyone think that she's so high and mighty that she separates herself from her peers.

But it's not.

They're the reason as to why the bars exist. She used her music to act as a bar steel, she used the performance she played to thicken the bars. This is performance to appease the crowd, this is self defence from the faith she tangles herself into.

Lost in thought once again, she didn't notice the sudden change of melodies. From soft joy descended to solemn, timid and mysterious, matching up the mood from her mind.

One that her commissioner did not want to hear at their birthday party.

She stopped again. She groaned and stomped her feet to the floor, expecting to hear the loud creak she'll emit from the dark oak wooden floor, only to hear a soft crumple instead. Looking down from it, her (E/c) eyes found papers scattered to the floor, one managed to get under her shoe. She stared at the paper, her (E/c) eyes slowly narrowed as she saw the words written there.

It's one of her drafts from the commission she's trying to make right now.

She slowly knelt down and picked it up, seeing the words more clearly now as drag the paper closer to her (S/c) face. Her face slowly turned from neutral to scrunched up as soon as she saw the words written there. Half of the paper are words full of jumbled words, some got mixed and matched but mostly crossed out while the others have big circles in it. It's your typical draft song sheet.

The only worst part of it is that the choices of words she used are cringe worthy to look at.

She immediately wrapped her hand around the paper to make it form a crumpled paper ball and throw it on the other side of her small room, letting the sound of it bounce from the wall and roll to the wooden floor fill up the tense silence.

The song still lacks life and freedom like she wants.

It's not enough. It's not perfect nor beautiful no matter the flower words and compliments they throw at it.

It's not enough for her to bring back her passion and inspiration from playing her fiddle and write songs about freedom.

From her anger, she decided to play again. The melodies she poured this time came out harsh, loud, full of sharp tunes that resonated anguish and pain. She played not for her commissioners, but for herself this time. She let the suffocating melodies fill up the silence and loneliness she didn't want to be with. She didn't let her fingers stop from gliding to the strings despite the fatigue catching up to her, desperate to finish the song despite having no passion nor courage of making a piece of it. She let the melodies play, full of imperfections and mistakes.

Through this, she felt like she's free, yet no matter what, she cannot escape the path she chose.

It's her choice in the end after all.

A knock on her door made her struck a high pitch key, making that as her ending note to the music. She slowly placed her instrument on the bed next to her and walked straight to the door and opened it.

As soon as she opened the door, her (E/c) eyes met the familiar red ruby eye of one of the people she trusted yet still won't admit that to her face.

"Tsushima-san." [Name] greeted with a quiet voice.

Tsushima huffed "I told you to just call me by my first name."

[Name] rolled her eyes, still in denial to do that.

"Is there something you need? I'm in a middle of something here." She asked instead.

Tsushima pursued her lips "Well, you see...."

One of her eyebrows raised as she watched Tsushima become uncharacteristically quiet to her words. For as long as she remembers her, Tsushima never falters to her words, she's mostly blunt and straight to the point, which is one of the traits she likes about her.

So watching her shift her weight from her feet left and right while hiding her face through her bangs to avoid eye contact, this is a weird change that she can't help but be irritated from it.

"If you have nothing to say, I'm closing the door now-"

"Wait!" She called, making [Name] stop her movements which is closing the door right to her face.

[Name] turn her attention back to her, face still holds an annoyed look which makes Tsushima huffed.

"What a great way to pressure someone-"

"Goodbye-"

"I said wait! Jeez!"

[Name] watch Tsushima dug her black gloved hand to one of her pants pockets, it didn't take her long to pull out her hand there but holding a small folded paper this time.

One of her eyebrows rose when Tsushima brought the folded paper to her.

"It might be best for you to see this while I explain." She simply said and gave her the note.

[Name] eyes narrowed, both from her words and paper, yet still accepted the folded paper. She immediately starts to unfold the paper, slowly revealing itself as a torn up newspaper to a particular article. As soon as she finally finished uncovering it, her (E/c) eyes scan the articles written there.

Her narrowed eyes immediately widden.

"So I was reading the daily newspaper today like what I normally do when I encountered that article. I know you don't care about news and stuff, but I think you really need to know about this, most of all someone looks like they're using your- wait where are you going?!" Tsushima called out to [Name] when she now noticed her walking away from her during her mid explanation.

"To find that bastard!" Is her only explanation before disappearing out of sight, Tsushima followed behind while still calling out to her.

While Tsushima chased after [Name], she accidentally stepped on the paper she brought to her but didn't bother to take it with her, instead, she continued chasing after the girl who'll definitely cause problems on what she read.

Letting the crumpled paper with words written in bold of "A bard who proclaimed himself as the tree-time winner of the Most Popular Bard of Mondstadt until today has been spotted near Angel's Share! Will the current holder of the title who holds that crown for many years even before his proclamation to that title will have a fateful encounter here on Mondstadt? Read to find out more!" on the front page rot on the ground.

---------------------------------------------

[Name] wonder if these talent she holds is a blessing or a curse.

Yes it's fun composing music or just playing an instrument in general, but she never saw herself being emerge to this deeply that it got to the point it'll become her job.

Yes, it's fun to do those, but she sees this more of a hobby than a potential work material to earn Mora.

She get it, it's a wasted opportunity to not use this to gain Mora, most of all if your family is in a low-class position that society made just to have standards to live on and a reason for others, mostly the higher class, to have a reason as to why they have "privileges" but not on the others below them. It's mess up for someone to make a class position like they're animals on a food chain.

Oh wait, they're animals, in their own dark way.

They act as if Mora is everything. It's what makes your world complete and for the world to continue to spin around. Weird to hear it from someone who's poor right? But really, she didn't care for Mora one bit.

Because like what the mysterious handsome consultant once said on her journey from Liyue "If one must always consider Mora before acting, then in all things one is bound by Mora." She didn't want for her life to revolve to Mora, she rather be free to do what she wants rather than be bound to something that will only give you temporary happiness.

So she's content to what she have right now. As long as the person is content and happy, why ask for more?

Apparently, her parents never got that information seriously.

They see this as an opportunity, a chance to raise their life higher from the dirt until they finally get the taste of the title of "high-class". And to reach that, both must take this seriously, make careful step by step of process and not to rush.

But they also don't took that information seriously.

Instead, they hone their daughter's skill to the best of their abilities. Asking the people they trust who also have a similar talent like hers to train her, make her practice till morning from night, force her to perform on each tavern that exist on seven nation and more.

This continued as she got older. This continued as their relationship to their daughter starts to become distant. This continued until their sweet, shy but kind daughter became a cold, hostile, serious, bastard of a daughter. This continued as her passion and love from her hobby disappeared. This continued as she slowly see her hobby as more of a bothersome work rather than a peaceful relaxation work for her to escape reality.

This continued even as she became aware of something at such a young age.

Aware of how human's greed affect oneself and to the people around her. Aware how greed is a gluttony. Aware how greed all do is take, take, take and never give back.

Aware how greed made her parents like this.

She didn't want to become like her parents. She didn't want to take so much that it'll become an addiction, like a drug.

So she never says no to them. Instead of take, she give, give, give and never take.

Until there's nothing left for her anymore.

Maybe that's why she never felt free.

Because she gave away her freedom in the process.

---------------------------------------------

Opening the door of the tavern can sometimes cause quite a ruckus, most of all when someone open it fast and dramatic.

Which in this case, just happened right now.

His song got silence along the glide of his fingers from his lyre. One of his eyebrow raised of how that dramatic work made even the idle chatter that he can still hear during his performance got silenced. All attention slowly turned to the entrance of the tavern in which where the disturber of the peace stands.

Her face is stoic, is what he first noticed. She stood straight and proud, like she didn't just disturb a bard's performance which he might say is quite a rude thing to do if you ask him. He watched her (E/c) eyes turn left and right with one eyebrow raised and mouth formed into a cute frown. From the looks of it, she's looking for someone, and whoever they're, it's trouble they gonna get.

The silence didn't last. He can hear the rising yet silent whispers of the patrons, all held curiosity and irritation as to why she's here. He's one of those people. Curiosity danced around his mind and eyes for what happened that lead her here and what the cause of her anger which made her make a dramatic entrance on the tavern.

Their answers didn't took them long to be found when they saw her (E/c) eyes landed to his.

Her eyes widen as soon as their eyes met, but it soon narrowed down into a cold deadly glare that he can't help but shiver from.

Her eyes held so much anger that others can feel even they're far away from her.

If looks could kill, he's probably dead where he stands.

She pointed her finger at him.

"You!" She called for him in a sneer.

Ah, so he's in trouble.

He watched the (H/c) haired woman stomp her way to his, eyes only fixed to his with anger.

He silently gulped as soon as she's standing in front of him.

What did he do this time to get this much hate on someone? Did he do something last night when he's drunk? Surely the traveler with his fairy companion stops him early on if he's going to cause problems on purpose when drunk, being kicked out on Angel's Share is the last thing he wanted to happen now that the Dvalin case is over. He's unaware of what to do in this kind of scenario.

So you can't blame him if he approached this the way he usually does when danger is on his face.

Provoke the person to get more answers.

"Me?!" He dramatically exclaim and point at himself too.

She looked at him with a deadpan stare "No the chair you're sitting on- Of course its you, you idiot!" She hissed.

Venti fake gasp "Now, that is a rude thing to say-"

"Good to know it hurts you as it should be."

Venti pouted. Well, that's really plain rude now.

"Even if you ruined my performance?" He added.

She rolled her eyes "Like you haven't ruined my reputation here on Mondstadt after that stunt of yours." She sneered.

Okay, what did he really do that made her so angry at him.

"Stunt?" He asked with a tilt of his head to the side. "If I remember correctly, the stunt I did so far is getting drunk here."

That and also trying to steal the holy lyre.

"Of course your feigning ignorance." She said with a mocking laugh. "I forgot you're also a bard like me."

He raised an eyebrow. A bard like her?

"Did you have fun using the title 'Most Popular Bard of Mondstadt'?" She asked instead, making his aqua eyes widen from shock. "Does that ring any bells on your pathetic little mind? What? Can't hear it because you're too busy shouting that title like you truly own it for the world to hear?"

His lips straighten. Ah, that.

"Anyway I didn't come here to have a little chit chat party." I came here to tell you to know your place bard." She emphasized on the 'bard' to his face, really emphasizing him the position they are in. "I work hard to reach and wear that title only to hear that there's a wannabe using that title like it's something to be reality taken and played around like a doll. The world is not sunshine and rainbows for you to sing happy songs to make everyone remember your name. If you want to get known, work hard for it."

She turned around. "A word of advice from the true 'Popular Bard of Mondstadt'. Wake up. If you think you can have everything on a silver platter, that's where you're wrong. You'll get nowhere if you keep singing lullabies to yourself to remain asleep forever. That is all."

As soon as she said that, she started walking away from her.

The tavern remains deadly quiet after their talk, only the click of her boots getting fainter from each step are the only sound you can hear. Not even the whisper and the click of the glass that can be mostly heard are not present when its her deadly words its facing.

She radiates independence and perfectionism with a very cold demeanour. A perfect mask for someone to wear when they experienced the worst of the world that continues to pour down to her.

And he can't help but reach out for her to help.

"For a person who holds that title, you sure do not live up to it."

She immediately stopped walking. Her heels along a quick intake of a breath from someone, probably from shock of what they heard from him, are the only noise that escapes before a cold deadly silence consumes them again.

She slowly turned around to face him. Her face looks scarier than the last as soon as their eyes met again.

"Excuse me?" She asks, voice and face so void that others who're on the sidelines shivered from it.

Even he can feel the coldness of her words and stare. He wondered if she had a Cryo vision or something.

"I meant what I said." He nonchalantly said with a caress of his fingers from his lyre, creating a soft melody from his movements.

"For a person who bears the title of being the most popular here, you sure are not great at holding on to it when someone manages to get away from using that, me for example. I manage to use your title without problems. I even got a few Mora out of it." Of course he lied to the last part to get the rise out of her.

"Meaning, everyone also didn't know the true holder of that title because you didn't take care of it. Or maybe..."

He paused for a moment to tap a finger under his chin, for dramatic purpose.

"Everyone didn't see you as the holder of that title...."

The murmurs came back. He can hear their amusement for him and pity for the girl. Through those whispers, he noticed her hand had been formed into a fist.

He dryly swallowed. He can't help but think he's digging his own grave here.

"Fine then." She loudly hissed, cutting through the whispers of the crowd.

"If I have to show a great example for everyone just to get that thick skull of yours. Duel, you versus me with the crowds as our judge. Whoever composes a song and performs it here are the greatest will win. Winner will have that title."

She smirked. "I can't wait to beat that flat ass of yours."

He chuckled, either from her choice of words or her comment about his ass, no one will know.

"Let's see to it then!" Venti announced with a smile that matched hers along the fire determination that slowly started to lit from her dull eyes.

---------------------------------------------

It's pretty uncharacteristic of her to make that title remain as hers.

It's a selfish act, like she didn't want that to be taken away from her. Who wouldn't? It almost became a medal to her, a medal that shows all of her hard work that she has been through just to be where she is right now.

But doing that is being greedy. She's not greedy, she keeps reminding herself about that so she won't forget.

But she didn't notice the flaw about that.

She's also human.

And humans are very greedy species.

---------------------------------------------

Hope you like this! This was supposed to be 2 parts only but it starts to get really long so I have to cut it.

Also uploaded this just before new year. Happy New Year everyone! May this year be a good one to us! I'm glad I met and be with you last year. Let's be together again this year too!

(Also, idk if you noticed this or not, but I based [Name]'s, or you (lol), personality to Ennis from the play "Harugaoka Quartet" to the anime/game A3 (Act! Addict! Actors!). That show from the anime/game is what inspired me to make this lol.)

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #venti x reader #Venti x female reader #mywritings #genshin impact venti #genshin impact venti x reader

[antiquitiesandlabyrinths]

Akhenaten

The name Akhenaten is rather well known as a Pharaoh of Egypt. Like Ramesses II, Hatshepsut, Cleopatra, and Tutankhamun, Akhenaten won the popularity contest of modern society through defining himself as far different from most other Pharaohs. With Akhenaten, however, he’s not even like the special Pharaohs.

Let’s look a little at his life and the history of the time period he ruled over. He was in the 18th Dynasty of the New Kingdom, from 1353-1336 BC. Like most Pharaohs there are a few different pronunciations of his name, including Akhenaton, Ikhnaton, Khuenaten, all meaning of great use to Aten, which leads into his conversion into the cult of Aten. Before the conversion his name was Amenhotep IV, son of Amenhotep III. His mother was named Tiye. Later on in life he married Queen Nefertiti, fathering two children, one from his wife Nefertiti and one from his lesser wife, Lady Kiya, having Ahnksenamun and Tutankhamun to each wife respectively.

Before we get into the whole mess of his religion and the ‘revamping’ he did of ancient Egypt, let’s recognize the other things he did for or to the country.

You’ll recognize the vastly different art style between Akhenaten’s rule and the history of most of Egypt. In art that depicts Akhenaten, he was shown as long and spindly, a style that carried into his family. Some people believe that this was because he and his family suffered from Marfan’s syndrome, a disease that caused the elongation of bones and skinniness. A more likely explanation stems from the Pharaoh’s religious beliefs, which as you know, was vastly different from other Pharaohs. This theory is a little more likely because there was no reason for the queen Nefertiti to have the same condition as her husband. Instead, it was probably because their status was far different from the other Pharaohs, as they were moved into a genuinely god-like status for their worship of Aten.

The part of Akhenaten and his rule that interests me the most is the way the royal family was presented in art, despite the style. Like many parts of Akhenaten, it’s entirely different from other Pharaohs (though, whether that’s good or bad is up to you).

Now, most Pharaohs presented themselves highly in art. They could do that, so why not? If I had the guts and the money I probably would too, but my point is that essentially all Pharaohs depicted themselves alone on stelas, engaging in hunting or other activities that strengthened the image of themselves that they wanted to show the world. Usually they were masculine tasks that could be done only by those with great strength and great riches. Akhenaten went in an entirely different direction; he depicted himself with his family. In the stele of Akhenaten, he is shown in a private way, the scene being him with his family, enjoying themselves together.

While we can’t say the definitive reason for him presenting himself as this, the most logical conclusion has to do with, again, his religious beliefs. In his mind, the Aten was held above all else, even the Pharaoh. With Aten as the highest consideration, the Pharaoh and his family enjoyed their lives under the influence of the Aten’s love and grace.

Now that we have a little insight, let’s get into the whole mess of his religion that died immediately after he did.

Akhenaten originally reigned as Amenhotep IV, a reign that lasted around five years before he switched religions. Changing his name, he converted to a cult that worshipped Amun to that of Aten, abolishing the ancient rites of those before him, and instituting what is believed as the first example of monotheism state religion in the world. His rule as Akhenaten lasted 12 years, during which he was labelled as the infamous ‘heretic king’, so that should give you some insight into how people felt about him. 

Before his rule, the cult of aten was a cult like all others in Egypt. It was a bit like choosing your favorite God – find the one you like most, and join that cult. For example if I were to join a cult, I would join the cult of my favorite God, Ma’at. I mention this because before the change, the Aten was shown in inscriptions of Akhenaten (Amenhotep IV at that point), represented by the sun disk. It’s also important to note cult doesn’t carry the same meaning as it did then, and each cult shared the same goal: balance and eternal harmony.

At the time of Amenhotep IV’s rule the Amun cult (where the Aten is from) held incredible power. Their power had been growing for a long while, and by the time of his rule, they held nearly as much power and riches as the Pharaoh himself, and actually owned more land than Amenhotep IV. The fifth year of his reign he switched everything; this was when he abolished the practices of the previous religion of Egypt, and proclaimed himself the “living incarnation of a single all-powerful deity known as Aten,” (Joshua J Mark), and by the ninth year, he closed every single temple, prohibiting all the old practices and devotion to the many Gods the people of Egypt worshipped.

Around then was when he moved the royal seat of Egypt from the traditional house of Thebes to a city of his own creation, a city named Akhetaten, and with that he changed his name to Akhenaten. Here he earned the name the Heretic King, earning the ire of some historians and the admiration of others.

Despite the fact that Akhenaten’s influence completely destroyed worship of the Gods many Egyptians loved, one of the main problems with his rule was that the Old Gods of Egypt instilled harmony and order in the citizens, ultimately helping to create a country that lasted over 4,000 years. Without these Gods, things got a little wonky.

Religious tolerance was allowed with the many Gods, emphasizing peace to the point where religious intolerance wasn’t even an issue. Unfortunately, for monotheism to work, there has to be something inherently wrong with the other side, which made Akhenaten’s work a lot harder, and its’ effects much stronger. It led to the intolerance of other beliefs and some severe suppression, and if you look at the monotheistic religions of today, you can see the same sort of pattern. With intolerance comes hatred and war.

“Dating to this point in Akhenaten’s reign was a campaign to excise the name of gods other than the Aten, especially Amun, from the monuments of Egypt. This was done with violence: hieroglyphs were brutally hacked from the walls of temples and tombs. This was probably carried out, at least in part, by illiterate iconoclasts, presumably following the orders of their king. [Akhenaten] carried out a religious revolution the like of which had never been seen before in Egypt.” (Zahi Hawass, 42-43).

There were priests of Atum who attempted to hide religious artifacts, storing statuary and texts away from the soldiers ordered to destroy them. The priests, with nothing left to do, were forced to abandon their temples. In response Akhenaten either hired new priests or forced the other ones to obey him, proclaiming him and his wife once more as Gods on earth.

Now you can see how Akhenaten kind of sucks. Let’s talk about how he sucks even more.

His foreign policy.

With his ego inflated to the size of the sun, Akhenaten thought himself above interactions with foreign powers. He left his duties to spend more time on himself and his family, ultimately leading to a severe neglect.

You might be asking, “didn’t every Pharaoh have a super-inflated ego?” and yes, you’d be right, but no Pharaoh before Akhenaten had genuinely claimed themselves to be a God. As a self-proclaimed incarnated God, he must’ve thought such affairs beneath him.

Discovered through letters of the time, several (former) allies of Egypt had asked for their help several times with various affairs. At the time Egypt was wealthy, prosperous, and strong, a state that had been slowly growing before halting at Queen Hatshepsut’s reign. Hatshepsut and her successors employed a strategy of actually doing work, by working out when to approach with diplomacy, and when military action was required. Akhenaten on the other hand, ignored everything outside of his palace at Akhetaten. 

The uncertainty of Akhenaten’s rule, along with letters of correspondence between the city of Amarna, the Pharaoh, and foreign nations, led to this era being called the Amarna period. These very letters were proof of the Pharaoh’s negligence. However, the letters also show his keen eye in foreign diplomacy, if the situation interested him so. It was a whole thing with the Hittites, but since this is chiefly about Akhenaten, I’ll leave that topic for later. All you really need to know is that he only tended to issues that affected him directly, and through the Amarna letters, historians can see how poor of a King he was, as well as how deeply many of his subjects disliked or despised him. 

Essentially, the main reason this mess didn’t work out was because it brought about something new: exclusivity. And the Egyptians did not like that, believing that the world needed to have a balance in order to stay away from slipping into chaos. In the end monotheism didn’t last; hell, it was ended basically the second Akhenaten’s son took the throne. Tutankhamun, originally named Tutankhaten, changed his name to reflect the return to polytheism. His successors tore down the reminders of Akhenaten’s reign, removing him and his adoration for the Aten, eradicating his name from the record.

There’s no saying he didn’t affect the world – he did, a lot. Whether that affect was good or bad is up to the interpreter (personally I don’t like it all that much). By Freud’s thinking (hear me out, I know he sucks) Akhenaten’s rule inspired the ancient world, leading others to copy his ideas and theology, eventually snowballing into our modern world, where there are essentially no polytheistic religions. You have to give him credit – he was the first person of the ancient world to dream up monotheism, changing what had defined humanity for so long.

With his name stricken from the books, historians only discovered him upon finding his city Akhetaten. In the records, Horemheb is labelled as Amenhotep III’s successor, skipping over both Akhenaten and Tutankhamun’s rule. Later when Tutankhamun’s tomb was found as one of the very few graves still filled with treasure, interest spiked in Tutankhamun’s life, eventually leading back to his father Akhenaten. 

#ahkenaten #ancient egypt #ancient history #egyptian history #amarna period #cult of aten

[aion-rsa]

How TCM Resurrects Plan 9 from Outer Space for Ghoulish Table Read

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UFOs are often visible, but not always. Sometimes they make noise, sometimes they are silent. If you’ve never seen a flying saucer, that is proof they are everywhere. This is one of the many amazing things we learn in TCM’s upcoming table read of Ed Wood’s masterwork, Plan 9 from Outer Space.

We once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aero-plane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television. But it took a while to get the joke about Plan 9 from Outer Space. Written and directed by Edward D. Wood Jr. in 1959, it was a little-known independent film with a direct line through directors who carried on the DIY-filmmaking spirit like John Cassavetes, Melvin Van Peebles and John Waters. The Cult of Plan 9 began when Ed Wood was posthumously awarded a Golden Turkey Award for Worst Director of All Time in 1980. Though this has been disputed.

Turner Classic Movies is the go-to channel for prestigious films. You can always count on a showing of The Treasure of Sierra Madre or The Public Enemy, or Citizen Kane. But top prize in the Golden Turkey awards carries its own prestige.

“This isn’t ‘Plans One Through Eight from Outer Space,’” Jerry Seinfeld proclaimed at the Chinese restaurant in a 1991 episode of Seinfeld. “This is Plan 9. The one that worked. The worst movie ever made.”

The SF Sketchfest presentation was adapted for the stage and virtual stage by former The Simpsons writer, and self-proclaimed Ed Wood superfan, Dana Gould. He and his Stan Against Evil co-star Janet Varney have been acting in live staged reads with a revolving cast of eager comic actors for over three years. The Zoom production also features Kat Aagesen, Bob Odenkirk, Bobcat Goldthwait, Oscar Nuñez, Deborah Baker Jr., Maria Bamford, David Koechner, Jonah Ray, Paul F. Tompkins, Baron Vaughn, and Gary Anthony Williams. The miniature visual effects, which are by no means just cardboard cutouts, were done by Mike Carano, and the sounds of musical accompaniment came out of Eban Schletter.

Laraine Newman is the narrator. She brings Gould’s adapted stage directions to such vivid life they can reanimate the dead, which is a key element of the actual plan at the center of the cult movie. Originally titled “Grave Robbers from Outer Space,” the film marked the last appearance of Bela Lugosi, who had also acted in Wood’s 1953 feature Glen or Glenda.

Lugosi’s footage for Wood’s unmade film “The Vampire’s Tomb,” was repurposed for Plan 9. Lugosi died of a heart attack on Aug. 16, 1956. To complete the film, Wood cast his chiropractor, Tom Mason, who in spite of his professional familiarity with the human skeletal structure, somehow believed he could mask the fact that he was much taller than the horror icon by pulling his cape over his face.

The table read of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space is part of TCM’s Classic Film Festival weekend, which runs through May 9. For easy comparisons, the original film will air directly after the event. Dana Gold and Janet Varney spoke with Den of Geek about refurbishing the low-budget cult classic, and how, like their predecessor, they proudly spared every expense on its new décor.

Den of Geek: I watched the table read a second time while playing Plan 9 in another window, and I just have to say, recreating those sets must’ve cost a fortune.

Janet Varney: Yeah, just like it cost Ed Wood a fortune.

Dana Gould: That’s the genius of, of Mike Carano. All those things were this big. You can see, I have the Bela Lugosi statue and the saucer. What he did was so amazing, and it really brought [the production] up to be better than it had a right to be. When Janet and I discussed doing this on Zoom, we were like, “Well, how do we take the limits of Zoom and turn them to our advantage? Why is it on Zoom?” By doing it, one, it allowed us to get a cast that we might not be able to get. Got people in different places. Maria Bamford was in Minnesota. Bob Odenkirk was in Vancouver. So, we could get people that normally we couldn’t get. Doing it in black and white helped. And then what Mike Marano did, it made it something unique.

Janet Varney: I would just also add, as a tribute to Ed Wood, we’ve never had anyone that we’ve asked to do the show who hasn’t wanted to do the show. Whether or not they’ve been in town for the live version, every person that we love that we’ve asked to be a part of the cast at one time or another is like, “Oh, my God, I need to do that. I want to do it. When is it? Please say it’s not a date I’m out of town. Please say it’s not. Will you ask me on the next one?”

Everyone knows this movie. And the idea of getting to step into its shoes in any kind of iteration is really exciting for every single person that we’ve ever asked.

Dana Gould: And it’s great to see how different people play different parts. Joel Murray plays the General different than David Koechner plays the General. Bob Odenkirk plays Eros differently than Patton Oswalt plays Eros. It’s always great. And Janet and I, we don’t want to know what you’re going to do. Just do it.

For this production, you assembled the all-star team. But were you ever tempted to use the same kind of players Wood used: wrestlers, tap dancing accordion players, chiropractors, and radio psychics?

Janet Varney: That’s a great question. I feel like we also have pretty good access to all those folks. So maybe that will get the next variety version. Because our friend, Jim Turner, is just about to do a fundraiser for the kind of variety acts who have been struggling in this last year, because of the many myriad things that they do.

So, I actually love that idea, Tony. And you’re right, it would be a totally different experience. That’s an interesting idea too, because we do come at it with a bunch of people who love the movie, but there’s also some major winking going on, as all the comedians and actors try to lean into being: “It’s my first time on stage, maybe my first time saying words,” really playing that up.

In the future, do you hope to see this performance eviscerated on Mystery Science Fiction Theater 3000?

Dana Gould: That would be great. If they did this.

Janet Varney: Especially because Bill and Kevin have done it. They have been in our production of Plan 9. Bill had been what Laraine [Newman] did. Bill did the narration at a show, at SketchFest, and it was great.

Dana Gould: I would like to see Jonah making fun of himself.

Janet Varney: Yeah. Let’s get meta. Our fans can handle it. Fans of MST3K can handle it. Plant 9 fans can handle it. Everybody could handle it.

I know I’m paraphrasing Seinfeld, but as the person who’s trusted with Plan 9 and all that comes with that, did you get to see the first eight plans from outer space?

Janet Varney: And are you allowed to talk about it if you did?

Dana Gould: Exactly. What were they?

Janet Varney: So many questions.

Dana Gould: So many questions.

Were the first eight plans rejected?

Janet Varney: Or were they all executed? And I use that word purposefully. Were all of those plans executed and they didn’t have great results?

Dana Gould: That’s a drunk man at a typewriter, “Plan 9 sounds good.” I remember showing Plan 9 to somebody who’d never seen it before. And they turned to me afterwards and said, “Did he not have any friends he could have shown this to and gotten notes?” He didn’t have those kinds of friends.

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What are some of your favorite mistakes from the movie?

Janet Varney: Oh, God. I was going to say Dana had mentioned that the first time he saw the movie was on a video cassette that Tom Kenny and Dan Spencer, and Bobcat Goldthwait showed him. And I was actually going to ask, did you think it was the tape glitching at the end when the monologue goes from, blip to [makes a noise]? And you’re like, “Wait a minute. Back that up, hold on. Is somebody going to fix this?”

That’s definitely one. That’s a spectacularly new, weird problem in a movie that was not a consistent problem. So, you’re like, “Wait, how did that happen one time, in this very, very overt way?” So good.

Dana Gould: From the very beginning, it’s like the first time you saw William Shatner do “Rocket Man.” I remember, I had a party at my house, and I was working on The Ben Stiller Show, and everybody was there. And back then, there was no YouTube. You would just have these cassette tapes with all of the weird stuff that you had collected on it, like the farting priest and all these weird things that you had, and “Rocket Man.” And I remember showing “Rocket Man” at this thing and Bob Odenkirk just shouting at my television, “You’re a grown man. You’re a grown man.”

I always thought Shatner gave the same line reading for “Mr. Tambourine Man” as he did for “Kahn.”

Dana Gould: Yes, he did. He did. He had a couple of tricks, and he used them. Yeah. There’s one direction he doesn’t get a lot, “You want to just try one big? You want to just see how it goes?” “Take the chains off and let it rip?”

Was some of the background music in this reading, especially the oxidation bit, inspired by The Simpsons?

Dana Gould: That’s all Eban [Schletter, the musical accompanist], you have to ask Eban. But again, that’s great, especially the Solaronite song. Necessity being the mother of invention, that is a brutal chunk of dialogue for anybody, a thankless, brutal chunk. And every time I give it to Paul, I say, “I’m apologizing ahead of time. I give it to you because I don’t want anybody else to do it. Because if it was anybody else, it would be death.”

Eban came up with that. And we were just like, “Maybe we can break this up. Maybe there’s a way to break this up.” And then Eban came up with that kind of thing. And it is one of those things that I love, that it’s like a mutant. It’s grown into its own weird thing to solve its inherent problems. You can’t describe it to anybody. It’s just like, you have to see it.

I used to remember describing Kevin Meaney, the comedian. I used to just tell people, “I can’t describe what he does. You just have to see him, but then you’ll know. You only need a minute, and you’ll get it. But I can’t describe it to you.” That’s really a good analogy.

Laraine Newman, I believe, steals this as the narrator. How much of that is improvised and how much of that is written by you? Because I know that you wrote the stage directions.

Dana Gould: It’s written, but Laraine, I call it “newscaster flat.” Laraine knows how the notes need to be played. It’s like the Wrecking Crew, you have a guitar behind you. I don’t know what Tommy Tedesco is going to play, but I know it’s going to be good. I don’t know what Carol Kaye is going to play, but I trust it. It’s the same thing. It’s a murderers’ row, and I wouldn’t have the gall to tell them what to do.

Janet Varney: It takes a very specific kind of confidence as a performer to be that deadpan. It’s such a specific skill. And it’s a skill, I think, born out of a type of bravado and expertise that’s all just tightly contained in this tiny space, where she’s not trying to sell any of it. And that is the genius behind what she does is just letting it lay out there like that. I mean, it’s hard.

When you have something that you know is funny and you would be laughing yourself, if you were listening to someone else read it, it’s so hard not to want to sell it. Like, can I make this even funnier? And she’s like, “No, I need to take it all the way back, to the back of the house just like, who me, who me? I’m just reading these things.” And it’s just so brilliant.

Dana Gould: This is a person that did sketches on live television with John Belushi and Bill Murray. So she definitely knows where her center of gravity is.

Janet Varney: That’s right. Well said.

Dana Gould: And yeah, again, unflinching. And that takes, as a performer, just like a little inside baseball, a lot of control and to really, to have control of your own ego, to know that I’m going to get what I want by stepping way back. I mean, Sterling Hayden is the only person I’ve ever seen blow Peter Sellers off the screen. And he does it just by, he’s like a statue, but there’s so much weight to it.

In the original movie, I love the “Criswell Predicts.” So I wanted to ask, Janet, do you get asked to do bathroom readings?

Janet Varney: I would if asked, I would love to. That’s one of the things that’s great about Ed Wood in general too, is just having this a sort of fascination with the occult and that kind of thing. And the way that it fits into camp is so appealing. And so, yeah, I would very happily jump back into some bad psychic practices if I could. Hopefully, I will someday.

Dana Gould: And an unerring dedication to Wicker furnishings.

Janet Varney: That’s right. Always that. Paula and her wicker.

Because the table read is done during COVID and everyone feels an immediacy to Zoom calls, were you ever at all concerned about an Orson Welles’ scenario, where the residents of San Fernando Valley will believe they’re under attack by flying saucers from outer space?

Janet Varney: If only.

Dana Gould: Yeah. That’s the least of our problems out here. I don’t know when you visited last time, but the walking dead, they’re around.

The table read of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space airs on Friday, May 7 at 8pm on TCM. Plan 9 from Outer Space airs at 9:30pm.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[zebraslovescupcakestoo]

Blush Blush Wish List: New Boy edition.

If you read my wish lists from my previous posts, I did my first as random and a second one about clothing, which one of the clothing wish is coming true slowly, I decided to make a THIRD wish list, based on the Boy/Man bundle. We knew that there will be a new guy coming, plausibly the phone fling winner Poe, so here’s some dream ideas of mine that inspired me.

I will mark a disclaimer right here and now so please read it:

Any thing I write here is MY opinion, MY fantasy and JUST A THEORY. They are NON-canon, not project proof and they’re just fan fic/pic related to Blush Blush.

If you don’t like them or disagree, that’s OK! we can talk about it in the comments or ask box like big girls.

Without further ado, here are my Manimal ideas:

1. Racoon Thief!

I’m staring off with what I already mention on my first and my personal favorite.

I used to read one of the first few books of Arsene Lupin by Maurice Leblanc a few years back and I also watched the old French TV series from the 70′s. I also used to own a film based of him from 2004? and I love it. There is also a 90′s animated series from YTV called Night Hood.

I also noticed that there was a PS2 game with a couple of sequels and a PSVita remake with all the games in one. If you ever played Sly Cooper, this would be a very nice compliment to a legendary Gentlemen Burglar.

I imagine about how the player was on a detective mission, like Cole’s, and he/she stumbles a burglary scene from a bakery store. Player noticed some crumbs leading to an alley and soon find a well dressed racoon... Speaking some French accent, the Gentlemen racoon would explained that since he’s somehow got in a situation that prevents him to go to his ‘job’ he had no choice but to ‘borrow’ until he’s back to normal. With past experiences, you’d tell him that you can help him revert back if he’d promised to pay all of the goodies he has taken from.

I can imagine a Persona 5 references or Lupin the 3rd Easter egg dialogs.

2. Beauty Guru BF!

BEFORE anyone has to say about Jeffree, I’m gonna say HERE that I’ll understand if you don’t like or support him, this is just a reference and ideas.

Now, my second idea for a next Manimal, it would be a beauty guru BF.

Now I would go for someone between Jeffree Star and Kimora Blac. Someone’s that’s very influential, a bit controversial but not that serious and very honest.

So imagine a scenario when the player decided to take a break from streaming and just surfing on Youtube when they came across a makeup review tutorial with a face of an animal. Any animal. Player then clicked it and the animal said:

“Hello everybody and welcome back to my channel! Today, I woke up, got to a mirror... beyoch... The Panda Team, is crazy!!!”

Somehow the player texted on the comments and then sends some pictures that proves you can help him, so he flew from his private jet to meet you!

If this gets canon, let the team know about Jeffree Star and try not to copy him too much like they did with Markiplier.

3. Fashionista Drag Queen BF!

Following from the previous, another LGBT representative would be the man with good fashion taste, RuPaul!

I thought about how the Player would one day be shopping for new clothes and then notice an animal giving out fashion advices. He does admit he’s sadden cause of his physical state, he can’t dress up whatever he’d normally wear.

He’d also would reference from high brands like Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Guicci, random Italian brands, ect... 

Imagine on his semi or full human form, he’d be wearing RuPaul inspired tuxedos or a dress option DLC. 

4. Royalty Prince charming!

I know that on Phone Fling, we have the self proclaimed Arabian Prince Sascha, but think about an EUROPEAN prince!

Imagine Player was doing gardening and then all of a sudden they heard someone complaining.

“Why are they treating me like I am some pet?! I am a PRINCE!”

You notice the ‘Manimal’ and told them your ‘specialty’ after introducing. “So you’d help your prince from this curse? Should we do true love’s first kiss? Fairly well, but you must prove it!”

This could inspire Disney prince references. ;) You take your pick!

5. Native American Boy.

Before I explain, I just want to say that I respect the Natives and they’re are one of the nicest people, I’m just saying as a character perspective.

If you remembered on my first wish list, I asked for more diversities so here’s one of them!

Player was walking in the nature park and decided to take a rest on a table park when they noticed some thrash that some human dumpster fire was too lazy to put it in the thrash so you did. All of a sudden you head someone said thank you. You turned to see the Manimal in question. “It is so nice of you to think conscious about our home environment when you knew you weren’t the one who done it. May the Great Spirits looks on you.”

I kinda lean towards the Eagle or a Bear cause the Wolf is already taken.

I think it would be a nice reminder for a dialog to us about the environment once in a while and also Disney’s Brother Bear.

6. Frank Sinatra the 2nd! Old school but cool!

THIS is probably one of an interesting idea about an ‘old’ soul. It’s kinda like Myx but classier. Swag are for boys, Class are for men.

Remember the Old Looney Tune cartoons? Remember that character Tweety Bird? Yeah, I go with a canary or maybe a yellow-crested cockatoo with this number.

Imagine Player decided to play a mainstream music from their room, when after about a minute in, you hear someone screaming from next door.

“WILL YOU TURN THAT OFF-TUNE BLIP BLOP?! I’M TRYING TO REGAIN MY SINGING SWING!” 

At first you thought it was probably you neighbor, but come to find out, it was a talking bird in a cage. You asked him and he answered. “I just moved in from my relatives and now I’m stuck with feathers instead of a classic bow tie. You said you had experience with this?”

This Manimal would be one of those nerds with bowties and sweaters on shoulder prep boy. He’s more like Frank Sinatra (Pic 1 and 2 with Elvis), Dean Martin or Sammy David Jr. A bit more old fashioned but about the same age as college kids.

Imagine the dialogs would be more like Tweety birds whenever Cole is change in between and had comedy accidents like the cartoons to prevent being his next un-cook chicken nugget!

7. Ancient temple guardian!

If anyone had played Crush Crush, you know about the Suzu bundle in the shop. She’s a white fox spirt that the player had accidentally broke the statue.

Now imagine the same thing, but this time you notice that one of these statues are not the same cause they don’t breathe.

8. Marine surfer/oceanic enthusiast!

Remember when I said there’s no Marine Animals (Yet?) If they do, I hope to see a hot guy who was turned into one while I was just looking at the waves.

Imagine Little Mermaid in a gender swap perspective. He wants to learn about the ocean like Jacque Cousteau and sometimes collects sea shells or old object from the 18th centuries that was from sunken ships.

9. German Soccer coach!

Remember when the German won the soccer tournament from Brazil by 7-1 a few years ago? Now imagine someone from that country that’s the new soccer/football coach for your team.

Player wanted to try a new sport so they go for it, but noticed the coach is a big German Shepperd. He’s Strict, Disciplined and very Passionate.

We need a good doggo for 2021!

10. Eastern Master Chef

I think I saved a nice one for last, but my random card tells me that we need a chef in that game. CC have Bonnibel, we have a Michelin star chef!

I thought about an old school 90′s Iron Chef stars like Chef Hiroyuki Sakai and Chen Kenichi. But this one is from China, where they eat anything with four legs except tables and anything that flies except planes.

Honorary mentions of Gordon Ramsey in the dialogs but he’s too nice and... I want to see someone else besides him.

AND THAT IS IT!!

That’s all I have for Manimal ideas for now. Do you like any of them? Do you have any other ideas? Please tell me of what you think!

#blush blush #manimal #OC #ideas #non canon

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 2x9 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

This review is dedicated to Dalila Bela, who turns 19 today. Happy birthday!

After a long wait, there she is at last - Muriel Stacy, decorating her new home with potato stamps. What a lovely way to show she is a kindred spirit. She’s basically like an older Anne. 

Marilla and Anne utter the same words upon passing Miss Stacy, who is cycling in the opposite direction at top speed - ‘My heavens!’ - except their intonations are so different. Marilla is shocked at the sight of the unconventional-looking stranger, while Anne is in awe of her, and especially the fact that she’s wearing trousers. I don’t think the women of Avonlea, be they progressive mothers or not, won’t be so fascinated with her, though.

And again, Miss Stacy acts exactly like an older Anne, going on and on about potatoes and tardiness and motorbikes before she’s even caught a breath. I can’t wait for Anne to finally meet her. And that concludes the cold open. 

I don’t care what Prissy and Josie, or their mothers, say about Miss Stacy- I’m with Anne on this one. They shouldn’t judge their new teacher before they’ve met her up close. She’ll warm her way into their hearts, I’m sure. I actually know it for a fact.

I simply cannot believe Billy brought a gun to school and is openly proclaiming he’s about to kill an animal, a living being, with it. And it’s not just any animal - it’s the fox, Anne’s fox. What has it done to him that he’s so personally violent towards it?

Again, Gilbert alone is the voice of reason (unlike season 3 Gilbert, who is the most confused individual I’ve ever seen and has the eyebrows to prove it). ‘There’s no fox here, so how about you put the gun away?’ It’s as if he speaks for me. 

Who does Billy think he is, calling his teacher ‘little lady’? He’s lucky she’s not Phillips, otherwise he wouldn’t get away with such disrespectful behaviour. 

Once again Anne uses the exact same words as someone else, but with a different intonation. Prim and proper Tillie’s ‘Oh my goodness!’ is one of disapproval (which she’s not to blame for, that’s probably just what her parents have taught her), while Anne’s is an expression of pure admiration and fascination. [Side note: Let’s put things into perspective, though - what would you think if your new teacher showed up to school with no bra on, on her first day at that? I don’t really know what to think of corsets anymore, so I’m not sure how to take this. You tell me.]

What, now Matthew and Jerry, two of my favourite AWAE men, want to catch the fox too? I understand it’s stealing people’s chickens, but hey, a fox must eat too, and it’s not like it can get its food in another way.

What’s happening to Bash? Is farm life not his speed? I’m worried about him, I hope he’s alright. 

For this next scene, the introductions, I’ll insert a note from when I first watched this episode. I notice I’ve been doing that a lot lately, but well, it seems I’ve got quite a lot of first impression notes on this season written down, so why not make them public now, here where it’s appropriate? Here goes:

And, just as I was fascinated, things got dramatically bad. Anne wouldn’t stop saying quite private things about everyone who spoke, and Miss Stacy reprimanded her for spreading gossip, resulting in her being unable to come up with words to describe herself (the method used for introductions was everyone would use words starting with their initials to describe themselves. I really wanted to know what Anne would have said about herself, as nobody else seemed to struggle much with the exercise (although I myself always do when asked to do it).

Alright, now I’d like to add something to this. When Ruby describes herself as ‘romantic’ and looked for a G word for ‘Gillis’, I could swear she thought of a certain young man right to her left - heck, she even looked at him before quickly blurting out ‘girl’. Well, yeah, she is a girl. But she’s also defining herself through Gilbert too much. I hope she knows how much potential she has beyond him. Besides, he only has eyes for Anne. I wish we’d got another season so we could see how far Ruby and Moody go. I liked them, but we saw too little of them together. #renewannewithane

Ok, but... it was like Miss Stacy just finished Anne’s sentence. ‘Ruby has a crush on...’ ‘Gilbert Blythe?’ Well, yes, but that’s not what we’re talking about. See, I’m noticing details I did not deem significant enough to note down the first time around. This is what rewatches are for. 

Rachel Lynde needs Marilla’s help. That’s a first. Oh, well, it’s rumours, what else. She’s against Miss Stacy. I really don’t like her right now. 

No, seriously, what is happening to Bash?

Of course, what the mothers of Avonlea fail to see is that, female or not, trousers or nor, corset or not, Miss Stacy is much more capable of teaching the young minds of Avonlea school than her predecessor. Or at least she’s much more willing to educate them properly. Of course she’ll tutor Gilbert. And Anne will soon find her way into her good graces. I hope. Nay, I know it. 

‘Appalling, stupid, clueless...’ this is what I hoped wouldn’t happen, but it happened anyway. Now Anne is beating herself up for the scrape she got into by complete accident. Gosh, I hope someone can fix this.

From my old notes:  And again, Cole knows how to fix things, and he does so, brilliantly I would say. Also, with the way he goes out into the nature, raises his hands and shouts out “Come to me, Muse!”, I can totally see him being a pagan... and who’s to say he’s not? I mean, Anne has the makings of one too, remember the Beltane ritual in season 3?

Rachel’s only job seems to be to stick her nose in other people’s business. She has no right to go around asking about Muriel’s marital status and whether she wants to be an old maid. But as anyone who’s watched the full series knows, this will be carried over into season 3.

Seriously, Rachel right now reminds me of Anne earlier with all the gossip, and I see now why she (Anne) made such a bad impression on Miss Stacy. Unfortunately, she (Miss Stacy) cannot assign Rachel Lynde an essay.

Anne’s mind is all taken over by the fox... so much that she’s fallen asleep over her papers... and now, disaster after disaster lead to a small fire, which grows into a bigger fire. If Anne’s essay burns in it, I’ll literally cry. I know a thing or two about lost work. Why, half of this very post I had to write a second time after my computer decided to restart the page with the unsaved draft open. But hey, this is not about me. 

So I guess they’ve figuratively and literally forced Miss Stacy into a corset. That’s sad. But I see she’s not giving up on her unique identity.

Oh, great, now the found brothers are fighting. I guess it turns out Bash’s problem is he’s inexperienced in farming and he needs help, but Gilbert is pursuing his own future now and doesn’t seem to care all that much. I feel bad for Bash. But we know Gilbert will stay at least another year and Bash will figure farming out by the time he has to leave. 

Ah, I see Anne is feigning sickness so as not to go back to Miss Stacy after yesterday’s fiasco. Well, I’d do the same if I were her, but I’m not quite sure that’s the best solution to the problem at hand. Marilla’s suggestion seems much better to me. Going together so Anne has someone to vouch for her... reasonable and concerned like a true mother.

I see Bash is trying to figure out horse-riding on his own. It looks tough. But he can manage it. 

It’s a shame Jerry won’t help Anne with the trap... but well, he was promised good money, and his large family is so poor... the ends sort of justify the means here. Still, Matthew is not in the right to plan on skinning the fox for money. 

Gosh, things are heating up between Shirbert. Anne seems to be all the more determined to find and develop her vocation now that Gilbert is working on his. And he doesn’t seem to care much about her feelings right now, being so busy studying and all. But I wonder how this whole thing really makes him feel. 

Hey, there are the potato light bulbs! The first science lessons Miss Stacy teaches the class. And they never forget it. How inspiring!

Hey, I just realised something. In her ramble in the cold open, Miss Stacy mentioned that you can use potatoes for a lot of purposes... well, here’s the second one she demonstrates in this episode. Stamps and... lighting a bulb.

Marilla, who took up Miss Stacy’s offer to stay and observe, seems to be a new supporter of the young teacher. See? If people only gave her a chance and saw what she does and how she does it, she might soon be a hit in town. But no, some choose to condemn her instead, as if she’s ever done them wrong. Just like the fox. Except the fox stole some chickens. Miss Stacy is perfectly innocent. 

And... poor clumsy Moody had to ruin everything just as Rachel and the ProgressiveTM mothers came in. Too bad. But hey, it’s him who recalled this very first lesson later on when they were graduating, isn’t it? 

Hey, Bash has gone to see Mary. Things are getting serious. I guess.

Alas, the mothers are not too pleased with how the lesson turned out. Luckily, Marilla was there to see the whole thing from beginning to end and can support Miss Stacy in front of the rest of the women. And it seems Gilbert and Anne are ready to step in and defend her as well. On their second day with her. That speaks volumes. 

Oh, so he’s visiting Mary to talk about Gilbert. But he also talks about himself and his idea to go deep into farming. His story is truly an inspiring one. And also, he’s staying with Mary for supper. As I said, things are getting serious. 

Anne decided to show Miss Stacy the story clubhouse... nice. But she’s made another blunder in doing so. She’s forgotten Cole is hiding there from his parents. And now they’ll force him into farming again... as my younger self said when I saw this for the first time, ‘this episode is one of the most devastatingly dramatic ones of this series – ever. What a way to lead up to the season finale’. I think that says it all. 

Ah, yes, nobody told Gilbert that Bash wouldn’t be home for supper this evening. Too bad... now he’ll think Bash has run away on him. Meanwhile, Bash is having a good time with Mary. But there’s no way for Gilbert to know that. How unfortunate. 

One shot, one gunshot and... wait, it seems the fox has not been killed yet. But the poor clubhouse... Billy is the worst person in this series, hands down. I can’t even. I’m crying. Real tears. Right now.

See, Anne’s blunder was not telling Miss Stacy about Cole. After all, she swore her to secrecy. But it was a blunder nonetheless because Miss Stacy takes her duty as a teacher more seriously than her promise to Anne. If only she’d known the full story... Cole might have been saved. 

Miss Stacy riding with Harmon Andrews... I wonder what Rachel, aka the Avonlea yellow pages, will make of that. 

‘Sometimes you just have to use your imagination.’ This is powerful because it comes from Marilla. Also, perhaps this is the hidden sense of humour that L.M.Montgomery talked about in the book, which I’m currently rereading. 

I can’t, I just can’t. Now Cole feels betrayed by Anne, and Anne is devastated about the clubhouse.... and the women of Avonlea are against Miss Stacy, and Matthew disappointed Anne... can nobody be happy in this episode? It’s truly tragical and devastating. I should not have opted for rewatching it right before going to bed, on a school night at that. How will I sleep now?

Gosh, Cole really has had it now. I’m not saying Billy Andrews did not deserve it (he did and he does), but violence is never the answer. Still, I guess it’s justified now. Too bad it will probably lead to even more trouble for Cole. See, even he’s scared of what he’s done. He surely didn’t mean for it to go that far. And to the creators - this is no way to end an episode.

Let’s sum up: we meet Miss Stacy; intonation matters; the fox is in danger; Billy the bully has a weapon now - how bad can things get?; Bash struggles with farming; Anne accidentally makes a bad impression on a kindred spirit; appalling, stupid, clueless; ‘Come to me, Muse!’; Rachel Lynde sticks her nose into things that are not her business - what else is new; potato light bulbs; Bash visits Mary; the clubhouse is destroyed; Anne accidentally betrays Cole, leading to dramatic consequences; a disastrous ending to a devastating episode.

#anne with an e #awae #anne shirley cuthbert #gilbert blythe #diana barry #ruby gillis #prissy andrews #billy andrews #moody spurgeon #muriel stacy #marilla cuthbert #matthew cuthbert #rachel lynde #renewannewithane #renew anne with an e #saveannewithane #save anne with an e #jnk #jnk watches awae #awae 2x9 #queue're bigger than that

[cartoonfangirl1218]

BTS Inspiration of Winner’s Curse

I know not many people read my descendants fic, but hey it’s my Bday tomorrow and I feel like revealing some of the inspiration for it. This world building was actually what inspired me to start writing it down. Originally it was going to be from the POV of a Vk, and explore all the dynamics of the “new” Isle under the Coven of 13, and get into the motivations of each but as you can see that did not happen. I was intrigued by the idea of exploring a “sidekick” trying to be the hero and all that. Other notes are

Circe was originally going to be the mother of Malik, after having a fling with Mozonroth when she got sent to the Isle. Decided it was too much drama and discarded that.

There was going to be more focus on the power struggles between the mercenaries, the Coven and the authority figures. Was going to reveal Uma and Freddie to be siblings. Ended up sidelining Freddie.

Gaston’s daughter, Cosette, was going to have a role, becoming closer with Gil.

Atlantis characters were going to be part of the main group. As well as Black Cauldron characters. Also discarded.

Was going to redeem Drizella because I heard the original plans for Cinderella III was going to be Drizella redemption but they changed so they could give more development to Anastasia. So I decided I was going to do it. Dizzy would have been given more of a role.

Hans was going to be revealed as the cruelest villain. (Yeah I was going to make him a twist villain again. Be glad I did not).

Nasira and Mozonroth were going to be lovers before I decided on mother and son.

Diego and Ivy De’Vil would have had more a role.

Hercules characters would have had more a role. Including the Muses.

Ben would have had more a role somehow.

And that‘s about it.

But some things I am proud of in Winner’s Curse. Passing the Bedchel test.

A POC majority cast (This was completely unintentional but now I see it and counting it out, there’s four Agrabians, two WOC, and three European. Though I’ll admit I have not given Harry, Calix and Gil as much spotlight as I should. So my bad. But does Greek count as a white Euro? Idk, point is, unintentional diversity. Woo)

There‘s only two romances. Both are interracial. Also unintentional. Uma and Harry are totally together. And Aziz and Lala’s burgeoning crushes that will not end in a kiss after the final battle because it’s not important. Oh well. Attempts to explore PTSD, abuse, sexual assault and poverty.

The emphasis on family and friendship between characters.

Exploring the negative side of Auradon including it’s classist system, the Magic Ban, and the Euro-countries getting more resources and riches compared to the likes of Kuzcotopia and Atlantis and Atlantica,

Psychological studies(ish) and more character exploration.

Jay faces his dad!

Hook siblings!

Getting to mention tie ins to the Aladdin animated series, Legend of Tarzan animated series, Hercules animated series, Ariel‘s Beginning and soon Disney fairies books. And adding those characters.

That I finished 20 chapters! This is my longest fic ever! And just ten more chapters to go! I’ll get there.

Coven of 13: Villains dedicated to using their old magic to take over Auradon and be restored to their glory days once more. However they all have conflicting wishes with what the final plan should be.

Maleficent: Since being “overthrown” as queen of the Isle. Maleficent had to settle herself with working with others until she can be mistress of all evil again. Is in a constant battle for dominance with Queen Nerissa, Ursula, Mozenrath and Jafar.

(Evil) Queen Grimhilde: Though she may be pre-occupied by her looks and seem to be passive, Grimhilde is secretly gunning for complete control of the Isle and Auradon when they invade. She feels there should be a new queen that doesn’t get into such petty tantrums as Maleficent. Queen Nerissa: Queen Nerissa is the unofficial leader of the coven since it was her idea but it is impossible to convince the others of that. She wishes to get her ultimate revenge on Giselle, Edgar and the rest of Auradon by becoming the tyrant.

Ursula: Ursula is smartly setting her sights on just ruling Atlantica. Unless she gets bored. Then she might expande her pool of options. She mainly just wants to stick it to King Triton and when it comes to execution time. She isn’t going to make the mistake of keeping his soul, she wants to destroy it. Mother of Uma.

Circe: Very bitter about ending up on the Isle even after Helen of Troy vouched for her to stay in Auradon. So to say that she wants to crush Adam to the bone is understatement. She wants him to grovel. And if she can find that one good man while she’s at it, that would be a plus. Mother of Calix.

Mother Gothel: Though she has an intense rivalry with Grimhilde since day one about hoarding the scarce beauty products available on the Isle, she is her closest supporter now when it comes to finding magic for revenge and curing wrinkly skin. She is the mother of Ginny who she doesn’t dote on nearly as much as she did with Rapunzel.

Yzma: She wants Kuzcotopia and she will do anything and everything to get it even if it means teaming up with a bunch of “old hags” (yes pot calling kettle). Still remains overdramatic and delusional. Has a semi-dependent abusive relationship with her children Zevon and Yzla.

Morgaine Le Fey: Morgaine Le Fey, like Grimhilde, is quiet when it comes to group work but she is always observing for everyone else’s weaknesses and flaws that she will undoubtedly exploit when she becomes Queen of Camelot. Mother of Morrían.

Nasira: Sister to Jafar and mother of Jade and Mozonroth. She isn't nearly as enthusiastic about ruling Agrabah as her brother and Mozonroth are but she is just in it to get revenge on the stinking alley rat, Aladdin.

Queen La: Without her staff, her kingdom or leopard-man army, La has resorted to her Atlantean priestess magic again in hopes of getting off the Isle and reclaiming her staff. Still delusional, still lustful and hates having to depend on the rest of these people. Mother of Ranavalalona.

Jafar: Wishes to rule Agrabah and execute the royal family that “mistreated’ and “disrespected” him so much. Is in a constant battle with Mozonroth on the fact that he is the best sorcerer and will be ruler of Agrabah when they take over. Mozonroth: Finds Jafar to be a blowhard and believes that since he already took over the Black Sands and overthrew his former mentor that he should be doing far better plots. But with the Isle’s Magic Ban, he has to go with what he has. Besides that he would like to give his half-brother, Aladdin, a taste of “brotherly love” when he puts him in a headlock to crack his skull. Father to Malik and Imran Abbas.

Dr. Facilier: Like Ursula, Dr. Facilier smartly works on the fringes, setting his sights small on the Bayou before ruling the rest of Auradon. Father of Freddie and Celia.

All-Powerful Quartet: Generally speaking, if any villain was going to be taking over Auradon, it would be these 4. But due to their all-powerful status, they’d rather not exert themselves to do such menial tasks when they have other things to do.

Mirage: Evil Incarnate. So she does get to go off-Isle to maintain some balance of good and evil in the universe but generally enjoys the place. There is just so much evil and chaos everywhere and she glories in it. Mother of Illusion and Chimera.

Chernabog: Since being put on the Isle, Chernabog remains asleep on the mountain, waiting for his day to rise again.

Horned King: Without his deathless army, the Horned King remains in his cave, slowly wasting away. Mainly convenes with Hades.

Hades: God of the Underworld. So yeah, he has a full time job to do.

Mercenaries: The muscle behind the Coven, these are people who can’t adjust to domestic life, more 20th century living and miss the thrill of a fight. They deal with the dirtier deeds of murder and treason. The big boss (literal mob boss) is Sykes who rents their services out.

Sykes: Mob boss. Basically owner of the unofficially named, “Mercenary for Hire.” He never gets his own hands dirty but he has plenty of people who will do it for him. He keeps his people in line with his files of blackmail he has stocked up.

Clayton: Desperately misses the thrill of the hunt and more modern conveniences like a well-polish gun with enough ammo to shoot all these thieves to hell. Has a coworkers- with-benefits relationship with Helga. Father of Clay.

Rourke: Since being screwed over by magic, Rourke has kept a very rigid condition that he will only deal with non-magical situations. Still maintains his treasure-seeking ways and often pilfers from Jafar’s shop.

Helga Sinclair: One of the most intimidating humans on the Isle and of the mercenaries in general. She is known for her efficiency in work, stoic demeanor and same condition to her jobs as Rourke, no magic.

Muviro: Finds mercenary life to be very suitable since being exiled from his tribe. He does it less so for the money but for the glory and bloodlust. Father of Renavalalona.

Lady Caine: Self-proclaimed, “Queen of Thieves” and pirate extradonier. She is Captain Hook’s only real competition on the piracy front leaving a lot of punch-punch kiss tension between them. Many suspect that she is CJ’s bio mom since they share the same manipulativeness, “devil may care” attitude and self-centeredness. However she has no time for any child-rearing, and leaves James to do whatever neglectful work.

Gaston: Another mercenary that does it for the glory rather than the money. He needs something to do since his hunting days are over. Unfortunately he has not won a lot of admirers on the Isle for his chauvinistic attitude (Bad move considering that many of the women have actual powers). Father of Gaston Jr. Gaston the Second, Gil, Gaston (IV) the Great and Cosette.

Shan Yu: Finds himself very low being part of a mercenary gang instead of invading foreign countries. But it does provide some thrill that he can work on his own and make his homicides as bloody as he wants them to be.

Sa’Luk: Former “King of the Thieves,” Sa’Luk uses his mercenary work to get rid of his excess energy and anger towards his enemies. He joins Rourke in pilfering from Jafar’s shops and has a penchant for shiny gold trinkets.

Lt. Col. Jean Staquait: Former French officer and best to hire when you need someone to torture prisoners.

Authority Figures: Villains who are used to have some amount of power in more domestic/civilian pursuits. Pretty much like big corporations that constantly drain the other villains of cash, small trinkets, food and whatever other valuables are on the Isle.

Queen Saleen: One of the most malevolent mermaid, well only mermaid on the Isle. She spends most of her time in the Isle’s waters, avoiding the annoying two legged people. She is often in some sort of feud with Ursula.

Lady Tremaine: Guardian to Anthony Tremaine. Lady is getting on with her years and remains more or less infirmed in her house with a dozen grandchildren. She runs her house with an iron fist and is the most vocal on the Isle in support of child labor. She misses her days of richness and convenes with other elder women about how low they have fallen.

Medusa: Just like she did before the Isle, Medusa owns a pawn shop that is on a constant losing streak to Jafar’s so she has opened a small casino next to it too. She rather delusionally considers herself to be an entrepreneur and tries to work with those higher up in the social ladder to get more money herself.

Cruella De’Vil: While she spends most of her time tending to her furs and car and drinking, when she is sober she tries her hand at fashion design as in the olden days. She works closely with Lady Tremaine and Medusa.

Prince Hans: More or less the least-adjusted to the Isle with his loss of kingdom, servants and anyone gullible enough to believe his lies or manipulations. He is in close cahoots with Mozenrath and bought Drizella as his mistress. Father to Lars, his only son and heir since Stalyan refuses to ruin her figure again.

Sheriff of Nottingham: Serves as the Isle’s one man police force and a sucky job at that as he lets his henchmen squad do most of the work while he serves as trial judge and executioner with the Queen of Hearts: She works a bit on the judicial system, mainly the one who suggests the executions. She can also be found bringing most of the cases to court against henchmen who have wronged her or disobeyed her Tea Shop’s rules.

Captain Hook: The sole owner and commander of the coasts of the Isle while Ursula controls its seas. He is still as obsessive as ever about Peter Pan, his hand and crocodiles and can be found frequenting bars and other brawling areas on the Isle where his hook serves as a nasty weapon. Father of Harriet, Harry and CJ.

Gov. Ratcliff: The only one on the Isle that deals with paperwork. Sort of a treasurer of sorts. Not so much in organizing it but guarding it with his life and spends his time staring longingly at the piles wishing it were genuine gold than copper coins. Claude Frollo: Father of Claudine. Maintains his strict preaching and inflaming others against sin and towards prejudice. But he also tends to lose his inhibitions more and is a regular at the brothels of the Isle late at night. No woman has replaced his lust for Esmeralda though. Claudette seems to becoming close to that though.

Stalyan: Hans’ wife and Lady Caine’s part-time lover which drives Prince Hans crazy. She has her eyes on one thing and one thing only, money and bad boys that make her look good. She has no real ambitions of her own and depends on her father, the Baron, to give her what she wants. Mother of Lars.

Regular Citizens: Citizens that hold no sort of power and are pretty much everyone’s punching bags.

Morgana: Morgana would have been put part of the coven, but her sister, Ursula forbade it. Besides everyone knows that Ursula is far more powerful and talented than her sister. Instead Morgana is blackballed from any real position of respect and takes care of Ursula’s restaurant when she is away.

Marina Del Ray: Since losing her job to Sebastian she has become the Madam of the Isle’s seaside brothels, using the money to spiffy up her gaudy wardrobe.

The Bimbettes: Claudette (red dress) used to be Gaston’s gf but left him after he tried to “throw away” their daughter, Cosette, to try for a boy. She has since then been seen with the likes of Prince Hans, Mozenrath and Frollo. Laurette (yellow dress), the mother of Gastons 1-3 is Gaston’s favorite. Paulette (green dress), Gaston’s official wife is more or less his servant/punching bag and mother to Gil.

Drizella Tremaine: Since she couldn’t be married to Prince Hans, she has settled for being his mistress whenever he and Stalyan have a fight. A thankless position since she regularly bends over (literally and metaphorically) to his will and gets discarded like trash every time.

Lefou and Smee: Live together and own a kinda profitable gun and fishing shack. By far the best parents on the Isle due to their goofy more sympathetic natures.

Jasper and Horace: Still devoted henchmen of Cruella, they serve as secretaries, gophers and all manner of assistance to her. Fathers to Jace and Harold.

Ivy De’Vil: Mother of Diego, is the brains behind Cruella’s beauty designs since she isn’t drunk all the time. Can be considered one of the better mothers on the Isle.

Animals: No explanation needed

Scar, Zira, Shere Khan, Sabor, Benzai, Ed and Shenzi, Tublat, Hista

Couples: Captain Hook and Lady Caine (fight-hate sex rivalry. Child- CJ)

Lady Caine and Stalyan (with-benefits)

Stalyan and Prince Hans (Married. Child- Lars)

Prince Hans and Drizella (affair, possibly Dizzy?)

Mozenrath and Hans (Hans swears it was an accident. Or he was too drunk. Or it was magic)

Lady Caine and Hans (Revenge against Stalyan)

Queen Grimhilde and Prince Hans (One night stand)

Ursula and Dr. Facilier (fling, potentially Freddie and Uma)

Frollo and Claudette (with-benefits)

Gaston and Laurette (Affair/borderline married. Children- Gaston Jr. Gaston the Second, Gaston (IV) the Great)

Gaston and Paulette (Married. Child- Gil)

Lefou and Paulette (Lefou deux, drunken night of pity sex because Gaston’s treatment of them)

Smee and Lefou (Couple. Adopted Sammy)

Ivy De’Vil and Frollo (One night stand. Child-Diego)

Mozonroth and Morgaine Le Fey (Fling)

Clayton and Helga Sinclair (co-workers with benefits)

Queen La and Muviro (Married and dumped. Children- Ranavalalona. Musala, Taytu Betuvira, and unnamed, deceased)

Queen La and Clayton (Fling- Leopold, deceased)

Queen La and Gaston (Fling. Children-Amina and Shaka, deceased)

Queen La and Rourke (Fling. Child- Euware, deceased)

Queen La and Mozonroth (Fling. Child-Sarounia, deceased)

Shan Yu and Sa’Luk (Once- There’s no straight men in the trenches)

#disney descendants #disney villains #winner’s curse #bts #inspiration #my fanfic #world building

[pretoriuspictures]

https://www.talkhouse.com/on-the-virtues-of-cinematic-failure/

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Most journalists who have spoken to me about my new erotic drama PVT Chat (starring Peter Vack and Julia Fox and streaming now on most VOD platforms) assume it’s my first feature film. Actually, it’s my third. My first two features never played a single film festival and haven’t been seen by more than a few hundred people (mostly friends and/or curious followers of my rock band, Bodega). They were financial failures (even though they were made extremely cheaply), but you couldn’t call them critical failures because nobody has ever reviewed them. I spent the last decade working on these films and yet their cultural footprint is practically nonexistent.

Despite that, I still believe in them and hope one day I’ll make a movie (or record) that inspires people to seek them out. My early cinematic attempts certainly failed at behaving like normal movies, but to me it is precisely this failure that makes them interesting.

Godard said of Pierrot le Fou (1965), “It’s not really a film. It’s an attempt at a film.” This is a purposefully cryptic statement, but I think I understand what he meant. There is a sketch-like quality to his films from that period. He was less interested in following a particular plot through to its conclusion than suggesting narrative ideas and moving on. He enjoyed employing classical narrative tropes but didn’t want to waste screen time on the proper pacing required to sell those tropes to an audience. Instead he filled his screen time with spontaneous personal, poetic, and political ruminations that occurred to him literally on the day of filming. Many found – and still find – this approach infuriating, but for a select number of Godard disciples, like me, this type of filmmaking is still revolutionary. I remember seeing Weekend during my sophomore year of college at the University of South Carolina and having my mind completely ripped open. Suddenly the world wasn’t a small, mediocre, predictable place – it was full of music and color and philosophy and eroticism. There were people out there genuinely disgusted with the status quo and boldly proclaiming it with style.

Godard’s work is a fulfillment of the dream of the caméra-stylo – a term coined in 1948 by Alexandre Astruc that argued it was theoretically possible for someone to compose a film with as much direct personal expression as exists in prose. In order to achieve this level of expression, one often needs to move beyond the realm of mere plot and narrative naturalism, the principle that what you are seeing on screen is real. (On most movie sets, the filmmakers and actors work overtime to sell this illusion.) Films that focus solely on plot, character psychology, and one literary theme have to direct the majority of their screen time toward plotting mechanics and emotional manipulation of the audience. What you gain in dramatic catharsis you often lose in intellectual honesty. There’s always a tradeoff. I am invested in a cinema of the future that veers toward self-expression, but doesn’t need to avoid dramatic catharsis as Godard’s films did. Certainly many filmmakers my age are working to achieve such a synthesis of intellectual directness and narrative pleasure. Experimentation is required and many “bad” films need to be made to pave the way for future successes.

I graduated college in 2010 high on this dream of the caméra-stylo and philosophy (my field of study) and in 2011 started filming my first feature, Annunciation, with experimental filmmaker Simon Liu. Annunciation is an “adaptation” of the Mérode Altarpiece, an early Northern Renaissance oil painting triptych by Robert Campin. The film features three short separate narratives, one for each panel of the famous 15th-century painting. I wanted the performances in Annunciation to be controlled and somewhat surreal, as if the whole film existed in a heightened but slowed-down hypnotic state; I was thinking about Bresson, Ozu, Antonioni and, of course, Godard (particularly his work from the ’80s). There is some plot, but the main goal of the movie was to reveal the miracle of existence in the everyday. And because the Mérode Altarpiece depicts the scene in Christianity where the Virgin Mary was impregnated by light alone, the film had to be shot on 16mm film.

Now picture this: a 22-year-old walks into a conference room in Midtown Manhattan and gives this pitch to a producer who was then investing in thriller movies: “Every time light strikes a piece of celluloid, a miracle similar to the Annunciation scene occurs: an image appears in the likeness of man that redeems our fallen world and reveals it to be the beautiful place that we take for granted in our normal day-to-day.” This wasn’t met with the enthusiasm I was hoping for. “Don’t you see,” I said, “this is a film about the ecstatic of the quotidian! This is a film that audiences will flock to! It could do for Williamsburg and Bushwick what Breathless did for Paris!” Looking back, I am both shocked and charmed by my youthful naiveté, courage and idiocy.

I was laughed out of the room, but the producer was kind enough to wish me good luck and welcomed any future pitches, should I come up with something any “normal” person would want to watch. I never thought of films in the tradition of the caméra-stylo as being elite works only for the gallery or the Academy. I, like Godard before me, have always assumed that audiences are intelligent and long for thoughtful, challenging movies. That belief I carry to this day and thankfully it sometimes seems to be true. How else could you explain the recent success of heady films by Josephine Decker or Miranda July?

Thanks to small donations from family members (and credit cards), I was able to shoot Annunciation without any official backing. I cast the film with a mixture of non-actor friends and some undiscovered Backstage.com talent and dove head first into the production. Right as our principal photography began, Occupy Wall Street gained momentum, so Simon and I spent time at Zuccotti Park filming our actors experiencing the movement. The hopeful promise of OWS seemed to reflect the yearning desire of our film’s protagonists as well as our own idealist cinema experiment.

When the film was finished and edited, I naively assumed that we were well on our way towards global cinematic notoriety. Surely, I thought, this important film that manages to blend fiction with actual footage of OWS would premiere at Cannes or Berlin and the Criterion Collection would issue the DVD shortly after. In actuality, it was rejected from every single film festival we submitted to.

Undeterred, I conceded that maybe there were a few minor structural flaws in the edit. It was probably a little too long and perhaps the three separate narratives would work better if they were crosscut more. A year later, this new edit was again rejected from almost 100 festivals. Stubbornly, I thought that perhaps what could really bring the movie together was a comic voiceover by my then cinematic muse Nick Alden (who is a lead in both Annunciation and my second film, The Lion’s Den). Audiences seemed to ignore the comic tone underlying Annunciation. If only I could unearth it, they wouldn’t be put off by the pretensions to greatness the movie wore on its sleeve. There is nothing so offensive to American audiences as pretentiousness.

I didn’t send the overcooked voiceover version to festivals. I knew it was forced and worked against the core concept of the film. But it was then that I started for the first time to have doubts about Annunciation. Maybe my film wasn’t as emotional or clever as I imagined. Maybe it was bad? “No,” I decided. The film, whatever its flaws may be, has value. Herculean delusions of grandeur come in handy when you are trying to become an artist.

I opted to edit the film back to its original state, but without some of the weaker, obviously didactic moments, then hosted a few local screenings in NYC (most of them at DIY venues where my rock band would play) and put the film up for free on Vimeo. Around this time, it occurred to me that editing Annunciation had been my film school. Failure is a wonderful learning tool. Editing the same raw material in a myriad of different ways taught me about pacing and tone. Still to this day, when I find myself in a certain state of mind, I open up the Final Cut sessions and do a new edit of the footage just for fun, like some sort of DIY George Lucas tinkering with the past. Last year during quarantine, I did a new edit of Annunciation and uploaded it to Vimeo without telling a single person. It has become my own little cinematic sandbox to play in.

When people did chance upon one of my myriad edits, they often commented that they enjoyed its style but found the acting too unnatural. My response to this was to make my next film, The Lion’s Den, a cheaper HDV feature that doubled as a political farce and an essay about naturalism in cinema. The film is about a group of ding-dong radicals who kidnap a Wall Street banker and plan to donate his ransom money to UNICEF so salt pills can be provided for dehydrated children. The UNICEF plot was drawn from Living High and Letting Die, a 1996 work of moral philosophy by Peter K. Unger. It was both a serious attempt at political philosophy and a total slapstick farce; I was imagining the comedy of errors in Renoir’s The Rules of the Game mixed with the Marxist agitprop of Godard’s La Chinoise.

The acting style in The Lion’s Den was purposefully cartoonish; at no point in the film could an audience member believe that what they were seeing was real. I like to think that The Lion’s Den was an attempt at theatre for the camera, part Shakespeare and part Brecht. This was my own personal response to our epoch’s hyperrealism fetish. At the time, I believed that the current obsession with neo-neorealism, mumblecore and reality TV was worth combating. Art with a realistic aesthetic, I thought then, was inherently conservative and accepting of the political status quo (whether the artists were aware of this or not). Art with an imaginative anti-realistic aesthetic, so I thought, was utopian. It opened new vistas and ways of thinking and being. It dared to believe in a more beautiful world than the one we are living in.

The making of The Lion’s Den was extremely difficult. It was by far the hardest thing I have physically done in my life. At the time, I was malnourished and broke, not unlike the character of Jack in PVT Chat; my diet for that month we made the film consisted mostly of coffee, rice and beans, ramen, light beer, and the occasional waffle or fruit smoothie from the vegan frozen yogurt stall I worked at. Unlike Jack, my addiction wasn’t cam girls or internet gambling, but independent filmmaking. I begged, borrowed and scrimped $10,000 to make a film I knew I wouldn’t be able to sell. Despite having some key collaborators near the beginning of the shoot, most of the film was made with just me, the actors and a loyal boom operator, all living together in a house in Staten Island. This meant that I had to assemble all of the cumbersome lights for every setup, handle the art for every scene (which involved a lot of painting), block the scene and direct the actors, throw the camera on my shoulder and film, and then at the end of the day transfer the footage while logging the Screen Actors Guild reports and creating the call sheets for the next day’s scenes. Exhausted both mentally and physically, I often couldn’t stand up at the end of the day’s filming.

Once we’d wrapped and everyone had gone home, I stood in the middle of our set and played Beethoven on my headphones. Within seconds, I began bawling my eyes out, partly from exhaustion but also from the melancholy that all my friends had left and I was now alone for the first time in a month. I collapsed and slept for hours. When I woke up, it was my 26th birthday. I celebrated by watching Citizen Kane alone and then started the process of painting the walls back to a neutral white. The actor Kevin Moccia (who has been in all three of my films and actually works as a house painter) heroically came back to set and helped me. I told him that despite all of the agony of the past weeks (my bank account was now in the red, with overdraft fees piling up), I was happier than I had ever been. Working passionately on something that has great value to you is, without a doubt, the key to happiness.

Shortly after returning to the real world and my job at the vegan yogurt shop, I passed out while on the clock and was taken to a hospital by my very supportive girlfriend. Turns out, all I needed was an IV and some nutrients to get back on my feet, but unfortunately the trouble with The Lion’s Den had just begun. At some point, I formatted the production audio memory card and, in one instant, accidentally deleted everything on it. For the next two years, my friend Brian Goodheart and I worked with all of the actors to dub all of the dialogue and sound effects in the movie. Each actor had to completely re-do their verbal performance. It felt like remaking the entire movie. The result made the film especially un-naturalistic (which pleased me at the time) and it turned out far better than I think Brian and I expected.

By then, I had some hopes that The Lion’s Den could reach a small audience. It is aggressively philosophical but also features a love triangle, a car chase and a final shootout. Its comic style, I was hoping, would attract people who were put off by the purposeful flatness of Annunciation. Nevertheless, the movie was also rejected from every conceivable festival. I now realized that submitting an aggressively experimental narrative film without a single famous person in it to festivals is basically like flushing your money down the toilet. Yet I continued submitting, like an addict at a casino putting all of their savings on the roulette table. You never know, right?

In hindsight, I now see The Lion’s Den as a very angry film that perhaps uses comedy to soften the blow of some of its hotheaded fervor, and suspect some of its critique of capitalism and naturalism came from hurt and jealousy. “You think my work isn’t natural enough, eh? I’ll show you motherfuckers naturalism!”

Sometime in 2017, to my surprise I became smitten with certain neo-neorealist filmmakers (Joe Swanberg, in particular) and decided I wanted in on the mumblecore party, albeit from my own outsider perspective. I began to see how I could work symbolically with naturalistic performances, which led me to my latest film. PVT Chat is by no means a work of strict realism, but nevertheless focuses on believable dramatic performances. The film’s cast blends some actors from my past work (Kevin Moccia, Nikki Belfiglio, David White) with some heroes of the modern neo-neorealist indie cinema (Peter Vack, Julia Fox, Buddy Duress, Keith Poulson).

I want to end with a bit of advice to other filmmakers: Don’t put your self-worth into the hands of festival reviewers or distributors. The future of the moving image will belong to the films that are willing to risk cinematic failure. If you make an earnest film that doesn’t behave like a normal movie, I want to see it, even if it is full of technical or narrative mistakes (which it most likely will be). There’s no right way to make a movie. Follow the dream of the caméra-stylo and make a film that if nobody else made, wouldn’t exist.

[mdyaoi]

Staci, Jacob, and John info - BIRTHDATES AND ZODIACS! Let’s make it official!

Since Ubisoft, at least for Far Cry 5, gave almost every character in-game the same face model as their voice actors, I thought what if their birth month/year were the same too?

Well, my dear bros, take a few minutes to read these incredible Zodiac traits for Staci/Julian Bailey, Jacob/Mark Pellegrino , and John/Seamus Dever, and it will prove these are really them! CELEBRATE ACCORDINGLY💕

Also thank you Anna @leavenopathuntaken, Doggo @decapitatedreality , and Jake @till-28 for your love and support

————————

Staci: Birthday: May 25th (1992 Chinese: Monkey) Gemini -

***bonus info: “Pratt” Surname - English: nickname for a clever trickster, from Old English prætt ‘trick’, ‘tricky’, ‘cunning’ (which is found in use as a byname in the 11th century). This surname is quite common in southeastern Ireland***

- Monkeys are sharp, smart, but naughty.

- People born in a year of the Monkey have magnetic personalities and are witty and intelligent.

- Monkeys are fast learners and crafty opportunists. They have many interests and need partners who are capable of stimulating them.

- Although they are clever and creative, Monkeys can't always exhibit their talents properly. They like to accept challenges.

- Gemini rarely has hidden agendas.

- Playful and intellectually curious, Gemini is constantly juggling a variety of passions, hobbies, careers, and friend groups.

- the social butterflies of the zodiac:

- These quick-witted twins can talk to anyone about anything. Find them buzzing between happy hours, dinner parties, and dance floors.

- These curious twins are terrific pioneers, using their energy to spearhead innovative creative projects.

- A fearless thinker, Gemini is always down to try something new.

- These hyperactive air signs have short attention spans and are most satisfied when they can move fluidly from one idea to the next.

- Gemini is all about output, so these twins love to chat and often speak with their hands (which happens to be the body part associated with Gemini).

- They love texting and tweeting almost as much as they love talking IRL. In fact, the act of expression is often even more important to loquacious Gemini than what is actually being said, and they must remember to be thoughtful with their words. Another incredible Gemini quality, however, is that these natural chameleons can quickly recover from even the most shameful foot-in-mouth moments. Gemini moves too fast to care about embarrassing missteps: They simply move on.

- SEX: Gemini are represented by the twins, and are accordingly known for their dynamic duality. While some Gemini may literally explore multiples by way of threesomes, these air signs have enough personality to make even a monogamous get-down feel like an orgy.

- Gemini are ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, so when it comes to dirty talk, these twins wrote the book: They’re extremely turned on by detailed accounts of lovemaking…even as the act is underway. Switching positions frequently during sex is extremely arousing for these energetic lovers. And don’t forget that Gemini rules the arms, so any opportunity to pin down, hold on to, or cuddle up to these limbs is a massive turn-on.

————

Jacob: Birthday: April 9 (1971 Chinese: Pig)- Aries:

***bonus info: “Seed” Surname- from Middle English sede ‘seed’; a metonymic occupational name for a gardener or husbandman (farmer), or a nickname for a small person. from a late Old English personal name, Sida, a post-Conquest short form of compound names formed with sidu ‘custom’, ‘manner’; ‘morality’, ‘purity’ as the first element.***

- Pigs are diligent, compassionate, and generous. They have great concentration: once they set a goal, they will devote all their energy to achieving it. Though Pigs rarely seek help from others, they will not refuse to give others a hand. Pigs never suspect trickery, so they are easily fooled.

- General speaking, Pigs are relatively calm when facing trouble. No matter how difficult the problems are Pigs encounter, they can handle things properly and carefully. They have a great sense of responsibility to finish what they are engaged in.

- Aries loves to be number one, so it’s no surprise that these audacious rams are the first sign of the zodiac. Bold and ambitious, Aries dives headfirst into even the most challenging situations (which is appropriate, since the body part associated with Aries is the head).

- Aries is a passionate, motivated, and confident leader who builds community with their cheerful disposition and relentless determination.

- Uncomplicated and direct in their approach, they often get frustrated by exhaustive details and unnecessary nuances. They like things quick and dirty, a temperament also reflected in their sexual proclivities.

- Aries leads with blind optimism, barreling through life with an electric joie de vivre that perfectly complements their distinctive impulsivity. These fire signs think after they leap, which often results in lessons learned the hard way.

- Aries represents the singular spirit. These rams adhere to an “every person for themselves” philosophy. While this self-determination can be inspiring, Aries needs to watch out for selfish tendencies.

- Aries is ruled by Mars, these courageous rams are always armed and ready for battle.

- Aries is known for an explosive temper, and although their outbursts don’t last long, it’s definitely best to avoid fiery rams until the steam has dissipated.

- But when these brazen rams are not flying off the handles, they’re upbeat, positive, and playful creatures who enjoy living life to its fullest.

- You can always be sure to spot an Aries excelling on the sports field, speeding down the highway, or organizing a vibrant party game.

- SEX: Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and these fiery rams are known for their fast-paced, high-intensity approach to life. It’s no surprise that when it comes to sex, they’re turned on by impulsive, rapid bursts of passion that leave both partners wondering, What the hell just happened? — in a good way. Aries are always up for a challenge, and although foreplay is not their strong suit, they get riled up by the opportunity to take charge and get down.

- These pants-dropping, skirt-hiking fire signs are no stranger to quickies in unusual places, so don’t be surprised if your Aries lover wants to experiment with sex outside of the bedroom. Aries rules the head, so ask your Aries partner if they’d be into some extra hair-tousling, scalp-rubbing, or ponytail-pulling — chances are the answer will be an enthusiastic yes. These hot-blooded warriors should experiment with moves from behind: This sexy animalistic posture is perfect for impromptu trysts and sudden eruptions of desire.

———————

John: Birthday: July 27 (1980 Chinese Year: Goat/Ram) - Leo:

- Rams are the most sensitive of all the signs. They can also be the most creative and artistically talented and may be drawn to the spiritual or esoteric.

- They are intelligent, romantic, charming, and compassionate.

- Rams always like to look their best and have a terrific sense of style.

- They flourish in an environment where they can work at their own pace, in spaces that are aesthetically pleasing, and surrounded by approval, love, and support.

- Rams are also known as the most potentially vulnerable and needy sign.

- Roll out the red carpet, because Leo has arrived. Leo is represented by the lion, and these spirited fire signs are the kings and queens of the celestial jungle. They’re delighted to embrace their royal status: Vivacious, theatrical, and passionate, Leos love to bask in the spotlight and celebrate themselves.

- These lions are natural leaders, and they enjoy cultivating friendships and romances that are artistically and creatively inspired.

- . Playful Leos have no problem leaning into drama-fueled romances that are perfectly suited for the tabloids. (In fact, they may even prefer them.) After all, every Leo perceives him or herself as a celebrity.

- These astrological divas never get tired of lavish dinners, exclusive parties, or decadent designer wear.

- Leos are renowned for their stability, loyalty, and consistency. They are dedicated friends.

- Lions love to watch their mates succeed — until they feel threatened. They can become impaired by their ego, pride, and jealousy when they start to fear their star power will be eclipsed.

- Ultimately, Leos' own hubris is the greatest threat to their happiness.

- SEX: These lions are proud to proclaim they’re the kings and queens of the jungle. And when it comes to sex, fiery Leos are just as declarative — and performative — between the sheets. The biggest sexual turn-on for any Leo is to feel desired. Leos adore seduction (both giving and receiving) through lavish dates, over-the-top expressions of adoration, and grandiose romantic gestures. They purr at the very thought of being wanted, especially when that burning desire leads to passionate, dramatic lovemaking.

- Leo rules the heart and spine, so light caresses down Leos’ backs are a major turn on for these erotic wildcats. Leos should try seated positions in chairs (ahem, throne) for a theatrical sexual display that allows partners to share tender kisses while also finding their moment in the spotlight. (Lap dance, anyone?)

#far cry 5 #farcrygame #farcry5 #fc5 #reference #zodiac #birthdays #far cry fandom #staci pratt #deputy pratt #jacob seed #john seed #mark pellegrino #seamus dever #julian bailey

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

Been sitting on this for awhile, I think it still needs some polishing and I haven’t settled on my design ideas yet (I need to pick a face-claim/potential VA/figure out some armor references if I want to draw him) but ya know what I think we need? Some more Greek heroes. I love me some Greek heroes. Here’s a Memnon profile for ya:

MEMNON PROFILE

5*

Rider (B/AAA/Q)

Origin: Greek Mythology / Africa

Brynhildr’s Beloved / Sky / Lawful Good / Greek Mythology Male

Passive Skills:

Divinity B

Affection of the Goddess

Riding B

Active Skills:

General’s Honor – Increases party’s attack, star generation, and NP damage (three turns).

-          When introduced to King Priam, the leader of Troy loudly proclaimed that Memnon will be their savior. Memnon merely smiled, and said that his strength would be obvious on the battlefield, but it would be impolite to boast at dinner. A mighty general who was admired by all his men and feared by all his enemies.

Affection of the Divine (A) – Grants guts to self (one time, five turns), raises attack and defense and apply ignore invincible (three turns).

-          Raised by nymphs at the shores of Okeanos, doted on by his divine mother, admired by Zeus and Hephaestus for his combat prowess. Rarely has a man ever walked the Earth who has been so blessed.

Proof of Immortality (B) – Charges NP gauge (20-50 percent), gains critical stars (10-30), gain de-buff immunity (one time, three turns).

-          Though his story is lost, the mark of his legend is felt across the world. It is said that his blood gathered in a river upon his death, and every year on the anniversary of his slaying, the river smells of blood. Memnon, unlike Achilles, does not draw power when he is present in his homeland, as his tale is lost to history. However, he can draw on this power instead, a manifestation of proof that he lived and was considered a hero.

Noble Phantasm: Chariot of the Rising Dawn. (Buster). Chance to inflict burn (apples to all enemies), deal heavy damage to a single enemy. Apply Burning Field to the surroundings after taking effect.

-          Invokes the protection and power of his mother, Eos, the primordial dawn goddess. Memnon has access to her chariot, which is pulled by two horses, Firebright and Daybright. Setting a trail of fire and sparks, he charges towards the enemy, leaving chaos in his wake.

-          Because Memnon prefers single combat and dueling, this works as a Single Target Noble Phantasm. The burn, however, is applied to all targets.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Introduction: The hero always arrives at the last minute… or, so they say. I am Rider, Memnon. Please allow me to serve as your defender.

Profile One: The rival of Achilles, who was summoned from Aethiopia after Hektor’s death to participate in the defense of Troy. The son of a primordial dawn goddess, a humble and great leader who inspired countless men. His tale is lost to history with all but a few fragments remaining, so much of his life is a mystery.

Line One: If you wish to rest, please do so mindfully. The battle will begin again when the sun rises.

Line Two: The relationship of a Master and a Servant is simple enough to understand. I was a general, so the chain of command is nothing new.

Line Three: You are still young. Please allow me to advise you in combat. If necessary, I shall take the lead myself. Leave everything to me.

Likes: Hmm… I suppose my hobbies are making music and gardening. Why, is that strange? I was raised by nymphs, you know.

Dislikes: Things that I hate… I’d have to think about it. I’m sure that there are things I dislike but nothing comes immediately to mind.

Holy Grail: A wish-granting device is certainly interesting. Would it be selfish to…? Never mind. I’ll have to think about what I could wish for.

Event: A new battle begins. Remember your obligations!

Birthday: The day of your birth is cause for celebration. May the gods bless you on this day/

Character Interactions:

Penthesilea: Ah, the Queen of the Amazons. It was a great honor to serve alongside her. Her prowess in battle is like none I’d ever seen. She’s really amazing. You know, she used to wear a decorated helmet that obscured her face… well, when it came off in the middle of combat, Achilles stopped what he was doing and just stood there! She nearly took off his head! Can you imagine, the great Achean, standing there looking like…? [clears throat] I mean, of course, I’m glad I got to witness such a glorious exchange. A battle between two warriors of that caliber is a rare thing.

Hektor: Hektor. It is a shame that we never met in life! I’m honored to be fight alongside – oh, no thank you. I don’t smoke.

Paris: … I’m a bit worried. They say Apollo is a great god, but this is…

Artemis: Ah, the goddess of the moon! My mother spoke of you often. I am truly blessed to meet you. Strangely… you remind me of… Oh, never mind.

Achilles: Yes, I remember him quite well. I don’t have any grudges. Zeus blessed our battle, and it was an exhilarating fight. I’m honored to have been able to cross blades with someone like him. Though… I do wonder if it’s alright to speak to him. I suppose, in his position, it’s possible… Perhaps if I offered to duel him once again, he would forgive me! Yes, I shall do that.

Queen of Sheba: I have traveled through many lands, but there is something about you that is familiar. Please tell me more about your kingdom – I would like to hear of it, even though we were not alive in the same era. Hmm? What do you mean, knowledge costs extra? Is this some kind of border tax?

Iskandar: You want to hear about Okeanos? I’m happy to tell you - but I’m afraid it’s not very exciting. I was raised there, you see, so a lot of my stories involve me doing chores and... oh? You still want to know? Very well.

Scheherazade: A woman who collects stories. I wonder... Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing. Never mind.

Nordic Heroes: They seem to be looking at me. I wonder – do they know something about me that I don’t? Is there something on my face?”

Profile Two / Bond One: “Are you comfortable? How may I assist you?”

The story goes that after Hektor’s death, King Priam of Troy summoned an army from a distant land. Alongside the Queen of the Amazons, Penthesilea, Memnon sailed to Troy from Aethiopia, to defend the besieged city from the wrath of Achilles.

Profile Three / Bond Two: “A lost hero, you say…? Well, it can’t be helped. “

Where Hektor was Achilles’s great enemy, it’s more accurate to say that Memnon was his rival. Memnon was also the son of a goddess, and had many powers that made him equal Achilles in combat. The Greeks feared him and his army. However…

Profile Four / Bond Three: “Yes, my mother is the goddess of the dawn. I even had relatives in the royal family at Troy, but I was raised by the Hesperides on the shores of Okeanos. Yes, it’s a real place. I’m serious. Perhaps one day, you will be able to reach it.”

Zeus was impressed by Achilles’s strength, but also favored Memnon. It is said that he blessed their battle, making them tireless, and the god of the forge, Hephaestus, had also given both of the heroes indestructible armor.

The written text of this story is lost, except for all but a few sentence fragments. The glorious final battle of Troy faded into myth, and then nothingness. Though many writers carried on describing Memnon’s legacy and fame, his shining hour was eclipsed by time.

Profile Five / Bond Four: “I was given many blessings from the gods. I would not say I have any regrets about how I lived my life. After all, if there is even one person who remembers that I lived…”

After the death of Achilles’s most beloved partner, Patroclus, the hero was inconsolable, and it seemed that he would lose the will to fight. However, Antilochos - the youth who cared for his horses and occasionally helped Achilles steer his chariot in combat - cheered him up and convinced him to continue living. Later, during a battle, Memnon struck Antilochos down, forcing the hero of the Acheans to grieve yet another loved one.

Profile Six / Bond Five: “I would like to tell you a story. It’s a great tale about a man who travels the world from end to end. Would you care for tea? It’s a bit long, so we may be here for awhile.”

Not long after Memnon’s death, the Trojan War ended, and a new tale began. It’s said that his mother wept inconsolably at her son’s death, and so Zeus granted Memnon immortality.

The ancient world of Northern Africa was said to have many statues of Memnon, marking the places where he had stayed or traveled to. These too are now lost.

However, despite all odds, the enduring soul of Memnon remains alive in human memory. It is for this reason that he can be called from the Throne of Heroes.

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Personal Notes:

He’s BAAAQ with a single target buster because I wanted him to stand out from other Five Star Riders, basically, and the weird mechanic thing with burns is just something I think would be Neat because again I have no clue how a lot of the funky mini-mechanical technic-stuff works in FGO even after a year of playing. But like, if Space Ishtar can change her NP Card-type, then Memnon can have a single target NP that de-buffs all enemies.

So basically, he’s one of Penthesilea’s allies/an ally of Troy. He and Penth terrify the Greeks, at first Achilles is distracted by the hot new Amazon and his cute new rebound boy (I’m not a fan of Antilochos just like, on principle because this is a Patrolcus stanning household, but oh well), but then he eventually gets his act together and while he defeats Penth, Memnon winds up killing Antilochos. This leads Achilles to going on another rampage, and slays Memnon in the process. And after this, Paris (a known fool and idiot) finally asks Apollo for help in killing Achilles, leading to the end of the Trojan war.

There seems to be sources about Memnon that show he was well-known in the ancient world as a mythological figure (writers such as Herodotus reference him in their works/tales about Africa and he was probably memorialized in statues in various temples) but the primary text (the lost epic detailing the end of the Trojan War: Aethiopis) is basically gone. Which is a shame, because he’s a fascinating character - a true foil to Achilles in almost every way.

So basically, IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE.

Obviously because I’ve been deep in Achilles Loving Hell, I’ve been deep-diving into the lore, and even though there isn’t a lot to go on, the things I do find are rich and juicy. I imagine Memnon to be a bit older and wiser than Achilles (probably has a beard tbh, but not like a bushy beard) and a bit more relaxed. The guy was raised by nymphs and was basically nice to everyone, so it seemed. Memnon is not the type to go berserk in combat, but he also doesn’t hold back when it comes to beating your ass. There’s a sweet spot between Hektor “I Suppress All Emotions and Only Strategize” style of fighting and Achilles “I Am Strong and Fast and Have a Lot of Feelings so Fuck You” style of fighting, and Memnon is probably riiiight in there, crunching on some golden apples that his mom gave him for a snack.

(There’s also apparently a weird and funky piece of very obscure and maybe fake lore which states that Memnon might related by blood to Thor, which idk how true that is but I think it’d be hilarious to include.)

#fate grand order #fgo #servant profile #memnon #fate series #rider of red

[queseraone]

Secret

From a Tumblr prompt: "Jay is a doctor and Erin is a nurse. They are married but nobody knows they are in a relationship and their coworkers find out." I put my own spin on this idea, hopefully you like it!

Thanks to my lovely ladies @suttonbradyy and @halsteadpd for putting up my millions of questions and all of their input.

Obviously I know nothing about medicine, sooooooo…

(Also thanks to Grey’s Anatomy for lots of inspiration - you might recognize a few things I borrowed from that show! And some Med characters too!)

Jay sighed, flopping back on the mattress and staring up at the ceiling. “I just don’t understand why you don’t want to tell people?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell people. I just… it’s different for me.” Noting the look of confusion on his face, Erin continued. “Okay look, if people find out that you’re sleeping with a nurse, they’ll high five you or think you’re a stud or some other sexist bullshit. But if people find out that I’m sleeping with a doctor? I can already hear the whispers—Lindsay is screwing a doctor to get ahead. That’s why Lindsay got that promotion. Lindsay is cheating the system. I just want people to see me for me, to respect what I bring to the table.”

“I can appreciate that,” Jay stood up, reaching for her and taking her hands in his own. “And I know how important your job is to you. It’s just going to be really, really hard for me to see you in the cafeteria or pass you in the halls and not be able to touch you…” Jay’s fingertips danced along her skin, trailing up her arms before settling on her face, drawing her ever closer. “…or kiss you senseless…”

Erin smiled against his lips, savouring the moment before reluctantly pulling back. “I know. I feel the same way, but—”

“It’s okay babe, I get it.” He pressed his lips against hers one more time before taking a step back and sitting on the edge of the bed, watching as she got ready for work. His girl in scrubs might just be his favourite sight. She looked strong and powerful and so damn sexy. He would never get tired of that sight, thanking his lucky stars that their paths had crossed in the first place.

It was a total fluke that they even met. He was fresh from Afghanistan, completing his residency in trauma surgery at Chicago Lakeshore Hospital, and she was on loan there from Gaffney Chicago Med, helping to cover when most of their nursing staff was sidelined by a particularly brutal bout of food poisoning. Jay still liked to joke that a bad pot of chili was the best thing to ever happen to him, because it brought her into his life.

They were assigned to the same case—a woman was brought in with life-threatening injuries after being impaled by a falling icicle—and later found themselves seated side-by-side at a nearby bar after shift. After unpacking the intensity of the day, their conversations shifted to more personal topics as they laughed and drank together. It was no surprise that the night ended back at her place, and they had more or less been waking up together ever since.

There had always been an element of competition between them, playfully arguing about whose hospital was better. Sure, Lakeshore got high-profile cases and tons of publicity, but Gaffney had a state-of-the-art emergency department that rivaled some of the best hospitals in the country. And now that Jay was starting his fellowship at her hospital, Erin was excited for him to admit that she’d been right all along.

Jay was just looking forward to seeing more of his girlfriend. Working at different hospitals—often on opposite shifts—sometimes meant going days without seeing each other. So even though he agreed to keep their relationship a secret at work, he was still thrilled to be closer to her.

“You know,” he began, his face lighting up with a mischievous grin. “This whole sneaking around thing could be kind of fun.”

Erin laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, crossing the room to playfully swat his arm. “I’ll see ya.” She pressed a quick kiss to his lips before grabbing her bag and heading out the door.

*

Collapsing into an empty seat at the nurses’ station, Erin was thankful to finally have a few minutes to update her patient files and hopefully wolf down a granola bar. She noticed that a couple of the other nurses were deep in conversation, throwing furtive glances across the ED. “What are you guys whispering about?”

“Have you seen the new trauma surgeon?” Doris asked, her voice hushed as she leaned closer to Erin.

Knowing full well who they were talking about, Erin pretended to be engrossed in a chart, casually shrugging her shoulders in response.

“Oh my god Erin, look at him! He’s so hot!” Monique gushed.

Erin stole a quick look across the ED, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to hide her reaction to the sight of Jay. ‘Hot’ did not do her man justice. She watched the fabric of his scrubs straining against his biceps as he worked on a patient, and if she listened close enough, she could just make out the sound of his voice as he gave orders to an intern.

Trying to remain calm—her plan to hide their relationship wouldn’t exactly be successful if she ran across the ED and jumped his bones in the middle of shift—she just shrugged again. After taking a long swig from her water bottle, she continued, her tone much more relaxed than she felt. “Yeah, I guess he’s kind of cute.”

“Kind of cute?” A wide-eyed April chimed in incredulously. “Erin, you need to get your eyes checked or something. That man is fine as hell!”

Fighting the overwhelming urge to roll her eyes—Jay’s ego was already big enough, she could only imagine how that kind of comment would go straight to his head—Erin continued, “Whatever, I have a boyfriend. So it doesn’t really matter if I think the new guy is cute.” She stood up abruptly, more than ready for the conversation to be over. “Anyway, don’t you guys have work to do?”

*

“I have been wanting to do that allllllll day,” Jay murmured against Erin’s lips after pulling her into an empty exam room.

Erin sighed blissfully, her eyes fluttering shut as his lips moved lower, kissing a trail down the column of her neck. Before she even had time to fully appreciate the feeling of her boyfriend’s muscular body pinning her against the wall or his strong hands roaming her body, they were interrupted by an obnoxious beeping.

“Son of a bitch,” Jay cursed under his breath as they both fumbled around for their pagers.

She groaned, knowing their moment was over before it even started. “You or me?”

“Me,” he grumbled, pausing as he read the message. “Incoming trauma.”

Erin wrapped her arms even tighter around his torso, burying her face in his chest and inhaling his familiar scent. “Noooooo.”

“Gotta save lives babe,” he grinned, leaning in for one last kiss. “Love you.”

*

“I think I’m going to go for it,” Monique proclaimed out of the blue a few days later.

They were gathered around the nurses’ station, taking advantage of a rare moment of quiet to load up on coffee. After all, five quiet minutes usually meant five hours of crazy was on the way.

April’s eyes grew wide with surprise. “Ooooh, really?”

“Go for what?” Erin’s brows quirked up in confusion. Clearly she was out of the loop on something. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Monique is going to ask Dr. Halstead out.” And then, somehow mistaking the look of sheer horror on Erin’s face for misunderstanding, April continued, “Dr. Halstead is the new trauma surgeon.”

“The hot one!” Monique added with a wide grin. Grabbing a compact from the pocket of her scrubs, the young blonde nurse quickly surveyed her appearance in the mirror. Apparently satisfied with her reflection, she immediately popped it back into her pocket and faced her colleagues again. “Wish me luck!”

And then it was like a car accident—try as she might, Erin just couldn’t look away. Her eyes were trained on Monique, watching as the younger woman crossed the ED to where Jay was standing, reading through a patient file and jotting down some notes.

He looked up when Monique stopped in front of him, offering her a small smile. “Hey, did you need me for a consult?”

“Um, actually,” Monique began, nervously tucking her hair behind her ears. “I was sort of wondering if maybe you might want to… go out with me some time?”

Jay was completely silent, his mouth hanging slightly open as he tried to find a way to respond.

Erin swore she could feel his eyes on her, practically burning through her skin from across the ED. It took every ounce of self-control she had to stop herself from making eye contact with him. She focused on keeping her head down, feigning interest in whatever was on the computer screen in front of her.

She couldn’t react. She couldn’t say a word. Not without giving everything away.

It had been over a week, and despite a couple of close calls—like the time Erin instinctively reached out for Jay’s hand after a particularly emotional case, only remembering at the last second and awkwardly covering by knocking over a stack of files, pissing off the charge nurse in the process—they had been doing a pretty good job of keeping things under wraps.

But in that moment, standing there watching as her colleague hit on her boyfriend? All Erin could do was wonder what the hell she was thinking wanting to hide their relationship.

Still refusing to look up, she could hear Jay clear his throat loudly, and in her peripheral vision she watched as his hand moved up to rub along the back of his neck—a nervous tic of his. Even from a distance she could faintly hear him hemming and hawing, tripping on words as he tried to apologize and find a way to let Monique down easy.

After another minute staring at the computer screen, Erin saw Monique dejectedly plunk herself back down in an empty chair.

“He turned me down,” she explained sadly. “Apparently he has a girlfriend.”

*

Word about Jay’s relationship status spread quickly around the hospital—not that it mattered. It seemed like the entire nursing staff was infatuated with him, regardless of the fact that he was off the market.

And it was driving Erin absolutely crazy.

She knew it would be a challenge to work so closely with him while keeping their relationship a secret. But she never could have anticipated that it would this hard.

When she wasn’t being driven mad with lust—seriously, could he stop looking so damn sexy all the time?—she just wanted to scream for her colleagues to back the fuck off and stop ogling her boyfriend.

It was getting out of hand. She had never been the jealous type before, but there was just something about having to stand there and listen to everyone talk about how attractive Jay was (as if she didn’t know that already) that was making her lose her mind. One of these days she honestly thought she might smack someone.

*

She came awfully close to actually smacking someone a few nights later. Working overnight always brought out an interesting set of characters, and that night was no exception. After treating a sweet little boy who had fallen out of his new bunk bed, Erin headed into the next exam room, cringing inwardly at the smell of cheap alcohol and cigarettes filling her nostrils.

The middle-aged man waiting there was beyond drunk—it smelled like he’d bathed in booze—and he was practically falling off of the hospital bed. He glanced up at the sound of the curtain opening, looking her up and down.

Figures she’d get the creepy drunk again.

She’d only been in this man’s proximity for a few seconds, and Erin already felt like she needed to shower. Doing her best to hold her breath—his stench brought back memories from her childhood that she had no interest in thinking about—she approached him, plastering a fake smile on her face as she tried to ignore him leering at her.

“Hi there Mr.,” she paused, scanning the intake form for his name, “…Lowery. Is says here that you were found passed out on a park bench? Little too much to drink tonight sir?”

He managed to tear his eyes away from her body, looking up at her with a sleazy grin. “I’m fiiiiiiine,” he slurred. “Better now that you’re here sweetheart.”

Erin bit her tongue, fighting the urge to give him an earful. “Mr. Lowery, I see there’s a note here that you were bleeding when you came in, that you might have hit your head? I’m going to need to take a look and make sure you don’t need stitches, okay?”

She reluctantly took a step closer to him, pushing his greasy hair aside to examine the nasty gash across his forehead. He was definitely going to need stitches. She was just about to step away when she felt his hand reach around and grab her ass.

“Get your hands off of me!” she hissed, ready to deck the guy as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

“Hey!” A male voice shouted, loud enough to startle Mr. Lowery.

Jay.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he spit out, a look of blind rage on his face. “You’re here to be treated, not to manhandle our nursing staff!” Taking a deep breath—which Erin knew was in an effort to calm himself down—Jay turned to her, his face immediately softening. “You okay?”

She nodded quickly. It wasn’t the first time a patient had gotten handsy with her, and unfortunately it probably wouldn’t be the last. “I’m fine, Ja—um, Dr. Halstead, nothing I can’t handle.”

Jay knew she could handle it; he just didn’t think she should have to. “I don’t have anything right now. I can take him from here.”

Erin nodded again. “Thanks,” she added quietly as she ducked out of the room, leaving Jay to stich him up.

*

“Hey babe,” Jay smiled feebly at her when they met at the L station around the corner from the hospital an hour later. It had been a long night, and they were both eager to get home and rest.

“Hey.” Erin was silent, keeping her head down as she fell into step alongside her boyfriend. Neither said a word as they climbed the stairs leading to the tracks.

When they reached the top—the train wouldn’t arrive for fifteen more minutes—Jay sighed, grabbing Erin’s hand and pulling her closer to him. “I’m sorry about before. I know you can take care of yourself, but the security guard was off doing who knows what and I just couldn’t stand there while that asshole put his hands on you.”

“I know.”

“But you’re still mad.”

“No, it’s not that,” she began, pausing as she pulled Jay with her to sit on an empty bench. “I just—wasn’t that kind of… I don’t know… making things—us—a little bit… obvious?”

“Fuck. I didn’t even think of that.” He leaned back against the bench, feeling foolish for not realizing how his actions may be interpreted. Despite wanted to shout from the rooftops that Erin was his girlfriend, he respected her desire to keep their personal life separate from work. He hated to think he might have compromised that. “I’m so sorry babe. But you know, I honestly would have done the same thing if it was April or Monique or Doris or any of the other nurses in there. It’s such bullshit that scumbags like that think they can manhandle you guys.”

Erin nodded. It was true, Jay was one of the good ones. There was no doubt in her mind that he would have intervened for anyone, it just so happened that she’d been stuck on that case. She smiled softly as she rested her head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“We okay?” When he felt her nod again, Jay leaned down to kiss her forehead.

*

When Erin returned to the hospital for her next shift, she discovered that her concerns were in vain. Sure, the ED was definitely abuzz with talk of Jay stepping in with a bad patient, but miraculously there was no mention of her name.

Of course, Jay’s heroic behaviour only made the nursing staff that much more infatuated with him.

Frankly if she heard another word about ‘Hero Halstead’ she thought she might throw up.

*

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Erin cursed under her breath, slamming the refrigerator door.

It had been the shift from hell—scratch that, the week from hell—and as far as she was concerned it could not be over soon enough.

A terrible late-night car accident had brought in a slew of victims, overwhelming the ED. Within a few hours, most had either been treated and released, or admitted and sent upstairs, so things were finally starting to quiet down a little—at least enough for Erin to get something to eat and catch up on her charting.

At least that’s what she had thought two hours earlier.

But instead of getting off her feet, she’d been running around like a madwoman. Apparently every single patient had banded together to drive her absolutely crazy. She had just cleaned up vomit for what was probably the twelfth time, only to get to the nurses’ station to discover that someone had eaten her turkey sandwich.

She just wanted to scream. Or throw something. Preferably at the asshole who stole her lunch.

Normally she wouldn’t get that upset about someone eating her food, but she and Jay had been on opposite shifts, which meant they had spent all of about five minutes together all week.

She was tired and cranky and missed her boyfriend.

And then right on cue, the elevator doors chimed and she looked up to see said boyfriend striding into the ED in his street clothes, looking happy and well-rested and sexy as all hell.

He smiled and said hello to a few people before glancing over to the nurses’ station, no doubt looking for her. They made eye contact for a split second—just long enough to say I love you, I miss you without words—and then he turned the corner toward the doctors’ lounge and was out of sight again.

Erin sighed dramatically as she headed for the vending machine. She leaned her forehead against the machine for a minute—internally debating between Doritos and a Hershey bar—before jabbing her finger at the buttons. The chocolate fell with a satisfying plunk, and she quickly snatched it up, taking a big bite as she made her way back to the nurses’ station.

When she glanced out the window on the way, she was appalled to see flakes of snowing falling from the sky. It was October. Some days she really fucking hated Chicago.

By the time she returned to the desk she had managed to rally a bit. She kept reminding herself that she only had to get through one more hour. Just one hour until she could go home and hibernate under her fluffy duvet for two whole days.

Her moderately good mood—if you could even call it that—disappeared immediately. There were a few other nurses at the station, and every single one of them was openly gawking at her boyfriend. Again.

He was chatting with his attending as they updated the OR board, and those bitches—bad mood was back in full swing—were drooling over him like he was a piece of meat.

Erin couldn’t deny that he looked damn good in his scrubs. He always did. But that day was like a whole other level of hot. Maybe it was just because it had been a while—damn the long hours and opposite schedules—but whatever the reason, she could already feel her blood pressure spiking at the sight of him.

Yanking her phone out of her pocket, she stormed down the hall in a huff.

*

Erin was pacing around the on-call room when there was a gentle rapping at the door. Before she had a chance to respond, the door creaked open and Jay poked his head around it.

“Hey,” he greeted, carefully closing the door behind himself. “You paged me? What’s wrong?”

“I need you.”

“Babe, you paged 911—do you need a consult or something?”

If she wasn’t so wound up, she probably would have laughed at his question. “No, I need you,” she breathed out, her voice husky with desire as she wrapped her arms around his neck and smashed her lips against his. Her hands moved lower, grabbing the drawstring of his scrubs to pull him closer, her fingers quickly slipping beneath the waistband.

Jay grabbed her wrists, removing her hands from his pants and taking a deep breath as he stepped back. “Erin, we’re at work.”

“So? Haven’t you seen Grey’s Anatomy? People fuck in on-call rooms all the time. It’s practically what they’re for.”

Any hesitation on Jay’s part went out the window as soon as her hands found their way back, stroking him through the fabric. “Fuck,” he groaned as she pushed him down onto the bed, throwing her leg over him and straddling his waist.

The bedsprings creaked obnoxiously as they moved together, so when Erin climbed off of him to strip out of her scrubs, Jay took the opportunity to pick her up and push her back against the wall. As he thrust into her, he kissed her deeply, swallowing the cries of pleasure spilling from her lips. She wrapped her legs tightly around him, locking her ankles against his lower back, driving him to go harder, faster, deeper.

She came with a wild moan that sent Jay over the edge right along with her. Her body went lax in his arms as they both struggled to catch their breath.

“You’re going to kill me,” Jay panted, peppering soft kisses across her bare shoulder. “But wow, what a way to go.”

They were almost dressed by the time Jay’s pager started beeping incessantly. He straightened his shirt as he looked at the screen. “Shit, this really is 911!” He crouched down to tie his shoelaces before jumping up to kiss her quickly. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta run babe. I’ll see you at home.”

*

They had developed a pretty perfect system to keep their personal and professional lives separate. When they worked the same shifts, they rode the L to and from the hospital together—usually with Erin half asleep and resting her head against Jay’s shoulder—then held hands until they were a block away from the hospital. She took the elevator; he took the stairs.

So despite the occasional close call or near miss, they had managed to keep their secret pretty well.

Until that day.

Jay had been in surgery for hours—the way bullets flew around in Chicago, he might as well be back in Afghanistan—and was just getting ready to close when an intern burst into the operating room. “What’s going on Schmitt?”

“Dr. Halstead, they need you in the ED,” the intern explained, unable to hide the shakiness in his voice.

“I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”

“Yes, I know, but… shots were fired.”

Jay’s blood ran cold at Schmitt’s words—Erin was on shift. “Was anyone hit?”

“I’m not sure. It’s locked down.”

Jay turned to the junior resident who had been working alongside him. “You okay to close up?” Before the young woman could even finishing nodding her head, he was already rushing out of the OR, yanking off his gloves and mask and running toward the ED.

Even though he knew it was on lockdown, he was still taken aback by the police presence. The halls were filled with officers, most dressed in full tactical gear as they gathered together to hatch out a plan of action.

He whipped his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through countless messages and notifications, desperately looking for any word from Erin. His heart pounded in his chest as he read her messages—she was in there. He didn’t know if she’d be able to answer, but he quickly typed a response asking if she was okay. He needed her to be okay.

When his phone vibrated in his hand a few seconds later, relief washed over him.

I’m fine, but Monique was hit. She’s losing a lot of blood, Jay.

Jay rushed forward, pushing past the throngs of people to where the police had blocked off the ED. “You need to let me in there!”

“Halstead,” Goodwin piped in, holding up a hand to stop him from going any closer, “you need to take a step back and let the police do their jobs.”

“I’m sorry Ms. Goodwin, but I can’t do that.” He turned to address the officer in charge, trying to keep his voice steady. “I need to go in there. There are innocent people back there—patients, nurses. And at least one of them is down.”

“Dr. Halstead, I assure you we have the situation under control,” the sergeant explained.

And then another round of gunshots rang out.

While most of the other people gathered in the hallway ducked or screamed, Jay pressed on. “With all due respect, it doesn’t seem like you have anything under control! There’s at least one person in there who’s bleeding out right now. I’m a trauma surgeon, I can help.”

“Sir, this is more than just a medical emergency. We can’t just put a civilian into a live and clearly dangerous situation. It’s against CPD protocol.”

“Fuck your protocol, my girlfriend is in there!” Jay bellowed, no longer caring who knew about their relationship. He just need her to be okay. He’d transfer to another hospital if he had to. Or flip burgers at a fucking McDonalds. He’d do anything, he just couldn’t lose her. “I’m not a civilian, I was in the military. I’ve been trained for these types of situations—and for worse ones. Now let me through!”

Maybe it was the desperation in Jay’s voice, or maybe it was just because they didn’t have any other options, but the police managed to negotiate with the shooter. He was just a scared kid, no more than fifteen years old, desperate to get treatment for his sick mother. Knowing he didn’t want anyone to die, they convinced him to let a doctor—Jay—come in.

“You sure about this?” The sergeant asked as he fastened a bulletproof vest over Jay’s scrubs.

Jay nodded resolutely as they held the door for him. He had never been more sure about anything in his life.

He entered the ED slowly, his hands held up in front of him, showing the shooter that he was not a threat. His eyes quickly scanned the room, taking in every detail of his surroundings. Most of the exam room doors were shut with the curtains closed, as was standard practice in a volatile situation. But he saw a few patients and staff members sitting in the waiting area, visibly trembling in fear.

But there was no sign of Erin or Monique anywhere.

“Where…?” Jay asked the shooter.

The boy didn’t speak; he just waved his gun at the desk.

When Jay finally saw Erin, he wanted take her in his arms and never let her go. But she was otherwise occupied, her hands busy pressing against Monique’s abdomen, applying pressure to stop her colleague from bleeding out. Falling to his knees beside them, Jay lifted Erin’s hand from the wound, squeezing it in his own as he assessed the injury.

She definitely needed surgery. And soon.

Knowing that time was of the essence, Jay quickly explained to Erin what they needed to do to stabilize Monique. When his girlfriend nodded in understanding and began following his instructions, he turned his attention to the shooter, his hands once again held in the air as he spoke. “Hey buddy, my name’s Jay.”

“Shut up!” The kid yelled across the ED, waving the gun around.

Jay wasn’t phased by the weapon in front of him, he just continued, figuring that as long as the kid was talking, he wouldn’t be shooting anyone else. “Listen, I know you’re worried about your mom, but this isn’t the way.”

“She’s going to die!” He cried, tears flowing down his cheeks. “They couldn’t help her! It’s not fair!”

“I know. I lost my mom when I was about your age, and it sucks. But buddy, trust me when I say she wouldn’t want this for you. I know you’re scared, but I really need you to put down your gun and let me to get this woman into surgery.”

“No, no one goes anywhere!”

“If we don’t operate soon, she’s going to die. Killing this woman doesn’t help you or your mom. It doesn’t make things any better.” Jay could see the boy’s resolve breaking. “Please.”

*

Jay watched as they wheeled Monique to the OR.

He had managed to convince the kid to drop his weapon, and the police breached the ED seconds later, cuffing the kid as hospital staff checked on the other patients. Fortunately, no one else had been hurt.

Jay knew he needed to get down to the OR too, but before he followed Monique’s gurney, he turned to Erin, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly as he captured her lips with his own. It was the kind of kiss that said more than any words ever could—how much he loved her, how scared he was of losing her, how relieved he felt that she was unharmed.

And in that moment, even Erin didn’t care who saw.

*

“So you’re the girlfriend,” Monique stated, smiling sheepishly as Erin entered her hospital room the next morning. She had only been awake from surgery for a couple of hours, and news of Erin and Jay’s relationship had already spread around the hospital.

Erin nodded her head as she settled into the chair beside Monique’s bed, taking the younger nurse’s hand in her own. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before.”

“Well I’m sorry I hit on your boyfriend,” Monique joked, wincing as pain shot through her side. “You’re a lucky woman.”

Erin nodded again, smiling as she glanced out the room and into the hallway where Jay was hard at work reviewing a chart with an intern. “I really am.”

*

As nice as it was to finally stop worrying about hiding their relationship, they did find themselves missing the added layer of privacy. It had been nice to have one thing that was just theirs.

So when Jay got down on one knee and asked Erin to be his girl forever, it was in the comfort of their own home, dressed in sweatpants on a quiet Sunday evening.

And when they got married a few months later, it was a quiet ceremony at city hall, with just their families present. Rings would get in the way at work anyway, so they wore them on chains around their necks, keeping their love for each other close to their hearts, safely hidden away under their scrubs.

Their little secret.

#linstead #linstead fanfiction #my writing #erin lindsay #jay halstead #linstead au #feels good to be posting again #but it's been so long i barely remembered how

[lo-lynx]

Brienne and me- breaking gender norms in Westeros and in our own world

CW: sexism, homophobia, transphobia, racism (briefly)

”I am the only one the gods let him keep. The freakish one, not fit to be a son or a daughter.” (Martin 2011, 672). This quote from Brienne’s sixth chapter in A Feast for Crows is probably one of the most heart-breaking quotes from the whole series, in my opinion. It’s also one that hits a bit too close to home for me, as a trans/genderqueer person. In the essay I want to (attempt to) explain why I can relate so much to Brienne, as well as put this in the perspective of some gender theory. I want to begin with an attempt at a theoretical understanding of what it feels like being out of place, of behaving contrary to norms, and having the world react to that. Then I’ll return to Brienne’s experiences, and my own.

In her book Queer Phenomenology: Orientations, objects, others Sara Ahmed writes about how bodies inhabit space in different ways (2006). She notes that depending on what path, or lines, we follow through life, different things becomes reachable for us (ibid, 14). She writes that “bodies take shape through tending toward objects that are reachable, that are available within the bodily horizon.” (ibid, 2). She describes how when we are in line, so to say, we follow the direction that others have followed before us, and this allows our bodies to extend into spaces that are already used to their form (ibid, 15). Ahmed mainly explores this in relation to gender, sexuality, and race/whiteness. I’ll return to lines about gender and sexuality later, but for now I want to focus on whiteness, because that’s a clear example of Ahmed’s writing on bodies and space. She argues, that in a world that is made white, the body that is comfortable and at home in that world is the body which can inhabit whiteness (ibid, 109). She continues this line of thought by writing about stopping devices, things that stops one’s movement, that questions one’s belonging to a certain place. This, for instance, often happen with black bodies in white spaces (ibid, 139). She also makes a note of how intersectionality impacts one’s position in different spaces:

There are ‘points’ in such intersections, as the ‘points’ where lines meet. A body is such a meeting point. To follow one line (say whiteness) will not necessarily get you too many points if one does not or cannot follow others. How one moves along institutional lines is affected by the other lines that one follows. (ibid, 136)

What Ahmed means here, is that one’s ability to be “in line” depends on several factors. She here connects the following of differing lines that she has previously mentioned, for instance regarding gender and sexuality. This, I take to mean that you could apply her reasoning about following lines of whiteness to following gender lines as well for instance. This becomes interesting in relation to what she writes about disorientation:

Disorientation can be a bodily feeling of losing one’s place, and an effect of the loss of a place; it can be a violent feeling, and a feeling that is affected by violence, or shaped by violence directed toward the body. (ibid, 160)

This, I think, allows us to think of disorientation in relation to several different types of institutional lines, such as gender, race, sexuality, and class.

In another text, An Affinity of Hammers, Ahmed continues to write about the experience of being out of line, of being blocked (2016).

We learn about worlds when they do not accommodate us. (…) Another way of saying this: when we are not at home, when we are asked where we are from or who we are, or even what we are, we experience a chip, chip, chip, a hammering away at our being. (Ahmed 2016, 22)

She uses this idea of hammering to analyse different anti-trans (yet self-proclaimed feminist) texts, and writes:

Some of the hammering might seem on the surface quite mild because it appears as an instance: a joke here, a joke there. And jokiness allows a constant trivializing: as if by joking someone is suspending judgment on what is being said. (…) Many of these instances might be justified as banter or humorous (the kind of violent humor that feminists should be familiar with because feminists are often at the receiving end). So much of this material makes trans women in particular the butt of a joke. (ibid, 28)

Just as many trans people (particularly trans women) are the butt of a joke, much anti-trans writing can be seen as a “rebuttal system” according Ahmed. She writes:

A rebuttal is a form of evidence that is presented to contradict or nullify other evidence that has been presented by an adverse party. A rebuttal is a form of evidence that is directed against evidence that has already been presented. What if you are required to provide evidence of your own existence? When an existence is understood as needing evidence, then a rebuttal is directed not only against evidence but against an existence. An existence can be nullified by the requirement that an existence be evidenced. (ibid, 29)

Essentially, what Ahmed is saying, is that the constant jokes and questioning of trans people becomes a constant hammering against our existence. Having to constantly prove that you exist hammers away at your very being. Finally, Ahmed writes about how norms and barriers are experienced differently for different people:

We notice norms as palpable things when they block rather than enable an entry. If you do not conform to an idea of woman—of who she is, how she comes to be, how she appears—then you become a diversity worker in both senses. For to exist as a woman would require chipping away at the walls that demarcate who resides there, who belongs there. And this is what diversity workers come up against: walls. An institutional wall is not something that we can simply point to: there it is, look! An institutional wall is not an actual wall that exists in front of everyone. It is a wall that comes up because of who you are or what you are trying to do. Walls that are experienced as hard and tangible by some do not even exist for others. And this is how hammering, however exhausting, can become a tool. Remember, it is through hammering that these walls become tangible. We can direct our attention toward those institutions that chip away us. We chip away at those walls, those physical or social barriers that stop us from residing somewhere, from being somewhere. We chip away at those walls by trying to exist or trying to transform an existence. (ibid, 32)

(I felt like I had to end this section on a bit of a positive note!) (Also, can you tell that I REALLY like the way Ahmed writes by the number of quotes I’m including?)

 Now that we’ve discussed how bodies are stopped, I want to return to institutionalised lines regarding gender, and how diverging from them is perceived by the world. In her book Kroppslinjer: Kön, transsexualism och kropp i berättelser om könskorrigering (”Bodylines: gender, transsexualism and embodiment in narratives about gendercorrection”), Signe Bremer writes about how lines (in the way Sara Ahmed conceptualises them) upholds, conditions, and produces embodied subjects and the world they inhabit (2017, 214). Bodies and subjects are only seen as coherent if they follow these lines. For instance, a person’s bodily materiality, legal sex, gender identity, gendered expression, sexual desire, ways of reproduction, parental status, kinship, etc are expected to follow the same straight line through life. In this way, Bremer writes, the way Ahmed describes lines is very similar to how another feminist theorist, Judith Butler, describes norms; norms control what is seen as a liveable life and possible personhood. Bremer also writes about the act of passing for a trans person. Drawing inspiration from Ahmed’s writing about which bodies get to comfortable inhabit certain spaces, Bremer describes the act of passing as just that, having one’s body become invisible when inhabiting a space, and thus fitting comfortably (ibid, 134). Bremer furthermore writes about interpellation:

What is meant with interpellation, in the way that Judith Butler conceives of it, is the performative acts of speech through which bodies, by the act of being named, step into the sphere of coherence, and are constituted as possible subjects and ‘real’ people. (ibid, 196) (my translation)

What is meant here, is that when someone is named as something (for instance as a woman), that’s when the person is understood as that thing. She also notes, however, that interpellation does not require the consent of the individual, interpellation can also be forced upon them. This is because, for a body to be interpaled it must follow the lines of society which makes it possible for the body to be recognised as a human. As Bremer notes, this can often result in trans people being interpaled as a wrong gender.

So, now I’ll return to Brienne. I would argue that by not following expected lines through life, she is in a way constantly uncomfortable. She simply does not fit in. One clear example of this is when Brienne contemplates seeking Sansa Stark in the free cities:

Brienne did not want to chase the girl across the narrow sea, where even the language would be strange to her. I will be even more a freak there, grunting and gesturing to make myself understood. They will laugh at me, as they did at Highgarden. A blush stole up her cheeks as she remembered.

Brienne III A Feast for Crows (Martin 2011, 299).

She then goes on to describe her experience of having “suitors” court her as part of a bet, and the humiliation when she realised why they did it. But, oh, if the feeling of being awkward and being laughed at isn’t familiar…

I still remember the gym classes in elementary schools where we were supposed to practice dancing. How awkward I felt. How some of the crueller boys would look on me with disgust when we got pared up and tried to switch partners. How I ended up pretending to be sick to get out of those classes.

And then there’s the constant stream of “jokes” laid at Brienne…

“I thought Brienne the Beauty had no use for men.”

- Ser Hyle Hunt, Brienne III A Feast for Crows (Martin 2011, 292)

That one Facebook comment on my photo that said: “lol so gay”.

… and the mocking of her very existence:

“it is said that your father is a good man. If so, I pity him. Some men are blessed with sons, some with daughters. No man deserves to be cursed with such as you.”

- Lord Randyll Tarly, Brienne V A Feast for Crows (Martin 2011, 520)

That other Facebook comment which replied: “You’re not gay, you’re a garbage dump filled with genetic waste.”

The words thrown at her to hurt her, to belittle her, said by those who cannot understand who or what she is:

“’Whore!’ he boomed ‘Freak! Bitch!’”

- Rorge, Brianne VII A Feast for Crows (Martin 2011, 795)

That one time someone commented on a post I made about LGBTQ rights, saying that I was just a confused gender activist who supported paedophilia. That other time when a student I was teaching said that being LGBTQ was just wrong. All those times students have joked that if someone can identify as non-binary, then they can identify as an attack helicopter.

And then there’s the constant feeling of not being enough…

“’A daughter’ Brienne’s eyes filled with tears. ‘He deserves that. A daughter who could sing to him and grace his hall and bear him grandsons. He deserves a son too, a strong and gallant son to bring honor to his name. (…) I am the only child the gods let him keep. The freakish one, not fit to be a son or a daughter.’”

Brienne VI A Feast for Crows, (Martin, 672)

That time I had finally gathered up my courage to tell my mum. And her first question was if I was sure, maybe I just felt restricted by gender norms? Maybe I just didn’t like girly things? Maybe I still was her daughter? And I felt a world of disappointment crash down on me. Even after, when she understood, when she tried her best to be accepting. Even then, the fear of being a disappointment. Even then, fearing that I was disappointing her simply by not being her daughter anymore.

Having to argue for your existence. That you exist even if you do not fit the world’s expectations of you. Having to experience that continuous hammering. Not being intelligible in the eyes of society because you are not a son nor a daughter, not a knight nor a lady. Not following the expected path through life. Constantly being stopped, questioned; what are you doing here?

“’A war host is no place for a maiden. If you have any regard for your virtue or the honor of your house, you will take off that mail, return home, and beg your father to find a husband for you.’”

- Lord Randyll Tarly, Brienne III A Feast for Crows (Martin 2011, 301)

The amount of people who have said that people like I don’t exist. We’re just confused. There only exist two sexes, two genders, that’s just biology.

People trying to force you do fit into the straight line. Be straight. Be a lady. Become a wife, a mother. Trying to make you into what you’re not, with words, with actions. Interpellation forcing you into what you’re not; daughter, maiden, lady.  When they still can’t understand you, then labelling you with other words; freak, garbage, confused.

Not being able to be comfortable. So rarely being able to relax. Never really being in a space in which your body can just extend itself unchallenged. Keeping running up against walls. Being hyperaware of how other people perceive you and your body. Seeing their disgusted looks. Wanting to hide from it all. Trying to make your body take up less space, to make it less of a target of their violent words. Still getting hurt, still feeling like you don’t fit, still feeling disorientated and out of place. Realising that some people will never understand you. Realising that to so many people, you and your life will always be strange. Realising that in the eyes of society, your life is simply seen as unliveable.

Realising all of that and trying to go on anyway. To turn the hammering the world has given you into a tool. To make it your strength. To remember that “men will always underestimate you” and make use of it (from Brienne II A Feast for Crows. Martin 2011, 203).

 In this essay I have tried to combine theory and personal experience in a way that I very seldom have before. I hope it ended up making sense. It was my way of explaining why I love Brienne of Tarth so much, and why her story hurts so much. I want it to be clear that what Brienne goes through is much worse than what I’ve had to suffer. In the end my family is supportive even if they mess up. I have friends who backs me up when I have a rough time with the transphobia of the world. But I can very much relate to Brienne’s feeling of being out of place, of not being comfortable, of feeling like a freak sometimes. And I greatly admire her ability to carry on through it all. To be able to turn the hammering into a hammer, into a tool, into a way forward.

 References

Ahmed, Sara. 2006. Queer Phenomenology: Orientations, Objects, Others. Duke University Press: Durham

Ahmed, Sara. 2016. “An Affinity for Hammers”, TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 3:1-2, 22-34.

Bremer, Signe. 2017. Kroppslinjer: Kön, transsexualism och kropp i berättelser om könskorrigering. Makadam: Göteborg.

Martin, George RR. 2011. A Feast for Crows. New York: Bentam Books.

#asoiaf #feminism #brienne of tarth #cw: transphobia #cw: sexism #cw: homophobia #cw: racism

[orangeeu]

A GUIDE TO TOO’S CHAN

Heya! Here’s my essay about why you should stAN TOO’S CHAN!

SO! I recently stanned TOO because of their legendary Rising Sun cover in Road to Kingdom and because of the man, the myth, the legend… CHO CHANHYUK! Yeah, if you watched the performance already you may know who I’m talking about, but in case you don’t or you just didn’t bother to instigate in some intense kpop boy stalking (but why wouldn’t you?), I’ve made a guide for y’all!!

//Ahem A GUIDE TO TOO’S CHAN / CHANHYUK!

(Oh, and btw, no, I didn’t just copy and paste this from kprofiles.com - I added some extra facts and actual, CONCRETE reasons as to why you should stan him!!!) 

‘KAY, ONTO THE GUIDE!!

[BASIC INFO aka boring (but important) stuff lol]

Stage name: Chan 

Birth Name: Cho Chan Hyuk

Position: Main Dancer, Rapper, Producer

Birthday: December 8th, 1999

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 180 cm (5’11”)

Blood Type: O

Nationality: Korean

Element: Fire

YAY! BORING STUFF OVER!! Now here’s some insight on some Chan only tingz~~ 

[FUN FACTS]

He ranked 2nd place on the survival show that TOO was formed from called, To Be World Klass (DESERVED)

He has an older sister

Introduces himself as being “all-rounded” WHICH IS TOTALLY TRUE! He can rap, dance AND produce!!! 

Motto: “Let’s move smartly”

He is a former SM Entertainment trainee

He dropped out of high school

HE HAS A TATTOO ON HIS LEFT FOREARM AND BACK!! It’s hard to see them but alas! I’ve found a Twitter thread exposing his rad tats!: https://twitter.com/CHANHYUCKlE/status/1264654817261125632 From what I can observe, the one on his forearm is of a whale and flowers, and the one on his back is of flowers?? (He even once said that he hopes to get another tattoo on his waist!! YES PLEASE SIR)

He is left-handed 

He and Chihoon are producers/rappers for the dance group CUROHAKO. They actually have a Youtube channel and Chan is in two of their videos!!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uhq2pJA6oQ  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgTT4bBGI78 

His favorite colour is black 

His favorite emoji is the fox emoji 

His favorite food is sushi

His favorite movie is called ‘About Time’

He can freaking guess pizza by its scent!! This was so cute tho, please watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHi8aNDTuc 

He ripped his pants during a stage but said he was fine with it as long as it’ll get his group views LMAO 

His dancer name is K!ZAROO (but I don’t know if he still goes by it)

His Myers-Briggs personality type is ENTJ (extoverted, intuitive, thinking, judging); natural leaders brimming with confidence and charisma. They’re determined when faced with challenges and thinks strategically in order to achieve their goals. You can read more about his MBTI here!: https://www.16personalities.com/entj-personality 

Part of the self-proclaimed, “sexies” sub-unit consisting of him and Chihoon

He was chosen as the most fashionable member in the group 

He used to have a lip piercing (I don’t know if it’s closed up by now or not)

He hates fluorescent lighting

AYE-- I wish I had more, but that’s all the facts I’ve found about him so far! I’ll update this in the future once TOO ages like fine wine..!

Here are scientific reasons as to why you should stan him!!

[WHY YOU SHOULD STAN]

IDOL TRAITS (why you should stan him as an IDOL):

1. DANCE

His dancing! He’s not the main dancer for nothing! His movements are smooth and natural yet aggressive and passionate..! His strongest point is free styling!  Whenever he free styles, you can tell that he’s simply vibing and embracing his element. It’s obvious that he really loves dancing and that he practices a lot.

People say that he’s similar to NCT’s Taeyong or that he’s “the next Taeyong” but I couldn’t disagree more.. Chan is his own individual with a distinct and unique dancing style. He’s NOT “the next Taeyong”, he’s Cho Chanhyuk! 

Sorry, I just get a bit annoyed when people say things like that.. Anywho, here are some videos of Chan being a dancing legend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLBYBAT1gGg 

https://youtu.be/TWiyBUBL3A0 

https://twitter.com/chanhyuckie/status/1265174013032034306

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZdxA2kewsg 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8Eg6AuiNxc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TIR0W0YPLc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QrJ3cCBuzA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GFU0f5xKPs 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CdHHqH51gg

https://twitter.com/i/status/1272322590854590465

WATCH THIS ONE ESPECIALLY!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnx8pmtUwWo                                     

2. RAP

Tough tone that’s got its own colour! Also really good at free styling his rap! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o72hX8R28fo 

Chan’s free verse and him bopping with Lil Pump and the bois.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-elXeK0qYf8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lEetiEqvDI

3. PRODUCE

HE.PRODUCES.HIS.OWN.DAMN.SONGS!! It’s actually very difficult to produce music as it takes a lot of patience, knowledge and creativity! Pretty sick beats with more rad raps! Here’s his soundcloud!

https://soundcloud.com/canigetyourchan

Hope he releases the rest of his works!

4. CHARISMA

A born performer! He never fails to give me goosebumps!! Chan is just mesmerizing when performing, he’s like a magnet.. It’s hard to lose sight of him on stage because he stands out so much! He’s an expert with facial expressions and consistently makes sure to fully immerse himself into the performance; it’s his expression of self which makes him shine so brightly on stage. 

PERSONAL TRAITS (why you should stan him as a PERSON:

1. PERFECTIONIST

A visionary and true tireless idealist. For most people, being a perfectionist isn’t an ideal trait, yet I still find myself respecting Chan for being one. He’s critical when it comes to creating the perfect performance and works really hard to achieve results which reaches his (high) standards. I think that’s pretty admirable - the fact that he puts his blood, sweat and tears to put on not only a good show, but one that exceeds standards for our sake, his own sake and the rest of TOO’s sake. 

2. PASSION

I think that the thing that I adore about him the most is his passion. As I mentioned before, he absolutely loves dancing. It’s refreshing to visibly see an idol enjoy themselves on stage. Chan doesn’t just perform, he lives. When he’s performing, he loses himself in the thing that he loves doing the most and relishes the moment like there’s no tomorrow.

3. DETERMINATION

Even if Chan isn’t the official leader of TOO, his leadership qualities are quite prominent. He’s determined to reach his goals and get through challenges no matter what. Taking initiative, he leads the group in dance and assists others when they are struggling. This can be seen by observing World Klass clips of the boys practicing All You Need Is Love - when Chan noticed that Chihoon was having difficulty with the choreography he called him over and helped him with it. Another example is when they ranked last place in Road to Kingdom and Chan, motivated to do better and prove TOO’s capability of rising up the ranks, thoughtfully assisted in planning their performance and concept and rigorously practiced while leading the others. 

4. CREATIVITY

Idea bank! As an artist myself, I marvel at Chan’s creativity. The concepts and choreographies that he comes up with are astounding and prove to have super effective results! He actually came up with the Rising Sun concept in TOO’s Road to King performance. Because they watched the sun set from the rooftop, Chan was inspired to make their concept about them being rookies and rising in the music industry like the sun!! Say it with me: Chan swollen brain, Chan inflamed brain, chAN GINORMOUS BRAIN!!! 

Overall, Chan, despite his appearance of being intimidating, is actually a real sweet guy that smiles and laughs easily. He’s a soft boi (especially for Chihoon) and likes to initiate skin ship. Members actually stated that Chan likes to act cute and even refers to himself as ‘Chanhyukie’!! So please don’t be fooled by his cool guy demeanor, he’s a squish if you take a closer look..! 

Wow, that was a LOT of writing! That aside, here are some random Chan stuff!

[ MISCELLANEOUS] 

Predebut Chan pics: https://twitter.com/c12c8h__177o/status/1265420652011417601

PREDEBUT CHAN IN BOY STORY ASDFGK (if you squint you can find him in the crowd starting from around 2:48. He’s the one with the yellow hair and sunglasses): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klg8niUUjRQ

Cute clip from World Klass of Chan being all cuddly and cute with Kyungho!: https://twitter.com/i/status/1265176511146934273

Absolutely no context: https://twitter.com/CHANPlCS/status/1264522391008481280

E-BOY CHAN: https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6824848435217304837 https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6819342086857313542  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6817551314097016069  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6788981280240454918  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6784186996119145733          https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6769724996559310086              https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6767461954127744262              

Saranghae saranghae saranghae Chan dance tutorial uwu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F4kQoaMljI

Chan humoring some fans: https://twitter.com/i/status/1249025324689453056 (scroll down below the first Tweet)

Chan English king: https://twitter.com/i/status/1251600155578494976

A cutie: https://twitter.com/i/status/1248594397056217088

Chan recommended this song! It’s pretty good so give it a listen!: https://open.spotify.com/track/7iooxPmnLY6wZynSplHUah?si=fBa5ppR0Qd-klOLa9tvnbA 

O-kay! I think that’s all the Chan content I have for now! Once again, I’ll update  this occasionally while on my journey with TOO! Don’t forget to stan Chan and TOO! Hope this has convinced you!! If it did, then please reblog this to spread exposure for Chan and TOO!

Before you go, please go watch their debut song Magnolia, thank you! Have a great day! 

(P.S., IF YOU FEEL LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING I SHOULD ADD OR CHANGE THEN DON’T HESITATE TO NOTIFY ME, THANKS!) 💖💖💖

#cho chanhyuk #chanhyuk #chan #too chan #chan too #too #too kpop #kpop too #kpop #please stan chan #you won't regret it #i promise #eeeee #he's great #tbwk #wk #world klass #toogether #to be world klass

[onestowatch]

Nilo Blues Pays Homage to Cult Anime Film Akira in “Akira Harakiri” [Premiere + Q&A]

Photo: Frank Lin

The city of Toronto never ceases to amaze us. What can arguably be considered the epicenter for a new wave of hip-hop, Toronto has become notorious for generating underground sensation after sensation. Through their cultivation of hypnotic and innovative soundscapes, to their impeccable flows and lyricism, Toronto has solidified an extensive roster of industry frontrunners, and Nilo Blues is proving to be the newest addition to the team.

Despite being a self-proclaimed poster child for Generation Z, the 21-year-old is anything but ordinary. Growing up in the Toronto art scene, Blues encompasses what it means to be a multi-hyphenate creative, utilizing his talents as a singer, rapper, dancer, and producer to tell stories that grapple with his Asian identity within the context of western society. 

His debut single, “No Risk Involved,” is an intrepid statement on Asian cultural identity and showcases how Blues’ struggle to live and create beyond rigid stereotypes has ultimately fueled him to pave his own way, in music and life. His nuanced and complex approach to the modern trap soundscape mirrors that of his own evolution and understanding of his own personal identity. Woven within his uncompromisingly honest storytelling and conviction lies the infectious hooks, melodic arrangements, and unsparing production of a true, multi-hyphenate artist. And despite “No Risk Involved” being the official introduction to his discography, we’re here to tell you that it’s just the tip of the iceberg for Blues.

As we patiently await his debut EP, set to release this summer, Blues gives us a peek at what’s to come with his most recent drop, “Akira Harakiri.” Explosive and audacious, this track has the power to cause havoc to the silencers of a corrupted system. Compiled within roaring trap-laden beats and terse hip-hop rhythms, Blues’ adroit vocals and dynamic fluidity convey a sense of fervor, all while challenging the status quo of Asian representation within American culture. 

“Akira Harakiri” pays homage to the anime that Blues grew up with, most notably the raw tenacity of Akira and the thriving energy of Dragonball Z, which influenced its sonic foundation and cinematic execution. In an effort to gain a more comprehensive understanding of his artistry, we spoke with Blues about his position in the current Toronto-trap soundscape and what motivates him to create breakout tracks like “No Risk Involved” and “Akira Harakiri.”    

Ones To Watch: It seems like dancing used to be a significant part of your life before music. What sparked your transition?

Nilo Blues: Growing up I was surrounded by music, whether it be at home or in the dance studio. I always had this natural appreciation for music grow in me because of all the different sounds I was surrounded by. I remember having 10-hour dance rehearsal days and then coming home to record photo booth videos of me and my best friend spitting melodies and lyrics over beats we found. I started producing at 16 when I discovered the iMaschine app for iPhone. I would spend hours trying to cook up beats until one day I decided to learn Ableton Live. My mentor cracked it on my laptop and started showing me the ropes, instantly I was hooked. My musical journey honestly started out from me just wanting to make music I could dance to. I owe a lot of myself to dance. 100%.

Has being a dancer influenced your creative process at all?

Dance has influenced me creatively in many different aspects of the process. Growing up as a dancer, you immediately instill a high level of discipline and work ethic as a young child. We were training like athletes and expressing like actors. It shaped the way I hear music (especially my own), it developed my approach on execution and staying on my P’s and Q’s, and it allows me to perform and add a visual component to the sonics. I grew up admiring Michael Jackson, James Brown, JT, Usher and now Bruno Mars. They all hold all aspects of their art to such a high standard. I’m trying to set that exact same standard and quality, through my own vernacular.

Growing up in what can be considered as the epicenter of Canadian hip-hop, do you think Toronto, and the artists that have put it on the map, have influenced your sound at all?

I started learning how to make music right when the 2015-2016 Toronto rap boom happened, so definitely. I feel like Toronto artists collectively do such an amazing job at emulating the vibe of Toronto. At a time where Toronto was only synonymous with Drake (the GOAT), The Weeknd, and PND, Toronto artists really stepped up to the plate and let the world hear the type of shit we’re on. It's super inspiring, and I just want to keep pushing the envelope. I’m trying to land where no one has before, and make my mark in everything I set my mind to. I’m hungry and I want to get great shit done. I thank Toronto and the lively music scene in the city for sparking that.

Your first single “No Risk Involved” highlights the misrepresentation of Asian identity in mainstream culture. Why was it so important for you to create your own narrative and debunk westernized versions of Asian culture and identity?

My family was the main inspiration for wanting to evoke that conversation. Western media loves to exploit the great ideas from different cultures without ever giving credit to the cultures that cultivated them to begin with. They perpetuate false narratives and generalize us in order to keep control. I’ve seen what my family has gone through in order to even be here. My mom is Filipino, and my dad is Viet-Chin, so I’ve had my fair share of perspectives at a young age. One thing I can guarantee is that Asians aren’t as one-dimensional as the media portrays us to be. It’s about genuinely telling our stories, and being able to control the narrative in the world we share with the culture.

How was it filming the “No Risk Involved” video? Did you have a vision for how you wanted it to look?

It was amazing. I definitely felt back in my element while performing on-screen. The positive energy and hard work by everyone on set was the difference-maker. I feel like that energy shines through the video. I’m so grateful to have had such an amazing cast and crew, they fucking killed it. As for the concept, NRI was one of the very first concepts I started developing with my team. Had my first meeting with Angelica Milash, the director of the video, and everything clicked. The inspiration was drawn from aesthetics you’d see in legendary Hong Kong movies like Young & Dangerous. We also based the female looks on different characters from movies that included Asian characters with exaggerated Asian female stereotypes.

You once tweeted “I love good music but when an artist can pull off a great visual it tells you a lot about that artist.” Do you think it’s important for artists to be active creative directors in the videos they come out with?

Personally, I love dipping my fingers in every pot when it comes to my creative direction. I believe it takes a strong team in order to create beautiful shit, and, as the artist, I want to lead the team to victory. If one of us wins, we all win. Being active as a leader is what’s important. Sharing ideas, and building with the people around you. That’s how the best ideas shine through. You just gotta be a leader with this shit. Take control of your vision and work together to execute. If you aren’t paying attention to every aspect of your craft, you’re only going to see one perspective. At the end of the day, no one will execute your own ideas better than yourself. We all have that capability.

Your newest single “Akira Harakiri” is inspired by the 1988 cult cyberpunk film Akira. How did this iconic anime influence your lyrical and production process?

I wanted the essence of the track to emulate the same essence of the movie. The production was what sparked the idea. Colin Munroe was working on the beat while we bounced ideas around and I instantly felt the beat belonged in an anime. Akira was an automatic click. This song is supposed to feel like a song The Capsules gang would bump around Neo-Tokyo. I loved the dynamic between Kaneda and Tetsuo in the film, and wanted to combine the charisma and poise of Kaneda with the maniacal energy of Tetsuo. That’s also something I want to tap into on the visual component as well. This song is an homage to a visual masterpiece, as well as an iconic moment in film and culture.

What are some of your favorite anime films?

I grew up watching anime on TV like Dragonball Z, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Pokémon, Digimon. As I grew older, I wasn’t exposed to as much as before, but I rediscovered my love for it in high school when I binge-watched Death Note twice in succession. Now I’m trying to watch as much as possible. I feel like I have so much to catch up on lol.

What are some of your goals for 2020? Both as an artist and as a human being?

I want to work on killing the urge of having a cigarette or vaping again. I quit at the end of 2019, and started working out four times a day with my trainer. I’m trying to stay consistent in doing my laundry but that shit fucking sucks. I'm trying to meditate more, as I’ve recently picked up on transcendental meditation and want to keep consistent. Other than that I wanna keep dropping cool shit and repping what I know best. I wanna keep pushing myself to my limits and keep evolving. I hope people find strength in my music and I want to evoke new thought and conversation.

What can we expect to hear more of in your future projects?

More genuine energy. You’ll definitely be able to feel exactly how I felt when creating the music, from the growing pains to the gratitude. More singing too. You’ll be able to identify the spectrum of my sound, and how dynamic it is.

Who are your Ones to Watch?

I’ve been on my hip-hop shit as of late, so I’ve been bumping a lot of Kaash Paige, Fivio Foreign, The Kid LAROI and shit. Deb Never is an artist that I've been wanting to work with personally. Out of Toronto, definitely keep your eye out for Stefani Kimber. One of the most talented artists I’ve ever heard and a great human being. She’s definitely one of my top Ones to Watch artists.

#nilo blues #akira harakiri #hip hop #rap #trap #akira

[all-things-are-nothing-to-me]

What Savages We Must Be: Vegans Without Morality

~ New morals, Same governance ~

“Morality is common sense ideas that we can all agree on. We need to expand morality to include non-human animals.” -Logic commonly found in the vegan movement

Most movements who attempt to make social change en masse rely on the “appeal to morality” tactic as a primary method of gaining support. For example, “Meat is Murder” is a common catch phrase within the animal rights movement. This catch phrase relies on the assumption that all people are against murder since, by the same logic, murder is morally reprehensible. But this assumes that there is a singular, universal morality that guides everyone’s decisions when, in reality, it may have different interpretations to some, and only guide those who embrace it to begin with. For example, some self-proclaimed moralists defend the violent manifestations of patriarchy; others advocate white supremacy and many moralists support violence towards non-human animals. “Common sense” is only common to those who make up the membership of a specific group, who feel the need to universalize its principles. But “common sense” does not apply to others outside that group who have self-interests that run contrary to its assumed collective “good”. Often times, it is not a lack of morality that is problematic but the very existence of morality; the set of principles and values independent of the complexity of self-interest, which externally guide and justify one’s actions.

Anthropocentrism is the belief that human beings are the most important entity in the universe. Anthropocentrism interprets or regards the world in terms of human values and experiences. The term can be used interchangeably with humanocentrism, and some refer to the concept as human supremacy or human exceptionalism. -Wikipedia

Anthropocentric morality provides the justification for a wide range of eco-destructive and domesticating disasters. Representing a worldview that constructs the human/animal dichotomy, anthropocentrism is reinforced by a capitalist-industrial society that requires the large-scale death and destruction of wildlife in order to exist. The “righteousness” of human domination provides the socio-political normalization required to pacify any potential for emotional outrage against this systematized violence. So between vegan morality and anthropocentric morality, which one is “right”?

Moral nihilism is the meta-ethical view that nothing is morally right or wrong. There are no moral features in this world; nothing is right or wrong. Therefore, no moral judgements are true; however, our sincere moral judgements try, but always fail, to describe the moral features of things. Thus, we always lapse into error when thinking in moral terms. We are trying to state the truth when we make moral judgements. But since there is no moral truth, all of our moral claims are mistaken. -Wikipedia

Morality is a social construct that does not represent a universal truth, nor the interests of all people. While also failing to account for the complex circumstances in which moral-based decisions are impractical, morality limits the scope of decision making and individual action. Therefore, in order to condition morality on a mass scale, rigid obedience is required which necessitates an equally rigid violent apparatus to enforce it.

Obeying morality of any type requires putting aside individual experience and personal motives of self-interest. This also means disregarding the pragmatic considerations concerning the practical consequences of one’s morality-based decision. In society, morals are socially conditioned in order to maintain a standardized system of beliefs. This system discourages individualist thinking and questioning of not only that system, but of the foundations of authority in general. The primary method for this discouragement is to advertise a desired belief as a “common sense” or normality that “everyone” knows or follows. This immediately places the “group” above the “individual”. With individual self-interest, one might refuse to obey without questioning, therefore group-think is socially reinforced to discourage individual responsibility, creativity, and thinking for one’s self. Examples of the deployed socialized hostility towards individualism include labelling those who assert their individuality as “selfish” or “egotistic” and therefore undesirable.

A movement that moralizes veganism means instituting another social system that would enforce new morality-based laws and norms. Not only would this require an (ironically) violent apparatus for reinforcement, but would still come without a guarantee of a more “peaceful”, “compassionate” capitalism. As long as there are systems of governance, (including the contradictory “compassionate capitalism”) there will be rebels. As long as there are laws, there is corruption within the apparatus itself that enforces them. As both a historical and contemporary social project attempting to create peace and compassion on a mass scale, moralism has failed.

~ Beyond morality: no government can ever give us freedom ~

Anarchy is the absence of government and absolute freedom of individuality. -Wikipedia

The same apparatuses of coercion that reinforces morality (religion, the state, etc.) are the enemies of freedom. While one might say these institutions could reinforce the vegan morality that would liberate non-human animals, these same institutions require individualist subjugation to their collective “good”. But their good wouldn’t be a “good” of my own; it would be their thinking over mine, empowered by its assumed “universal truth”. This is the same logic of control and domination that is used by those who dominate and consume non-human animals. Guided by the values of human supremacy, there is a sense of entitlement that positions them above question. The same apparatus that conditions morality holds that “beyond question” position. But as an individual, not only do I question it, I reject it all together.

My individualism is empowered by self-interest and informed decision-making. My refusal to surrender my mind to the “collective good” of consuming the flesh and secretions of non-human animals is a reflection of my own rebellion. Along with the inspiration from other individual vegans I realized the power of thinking independently, selfishly, and egotistically – against the mass society whose normalized traditions and values conflict with my interests. As an individualist, being vegan is practical in extending individual autonomy to non-human animals. My refusal to socially reinforce their commodity status allows them the natural right to exist as their own autonomous individual selves, the same way I would expect to be respected by others. I refuse to individually participate in the mass normalization of their domination.

Anarchy, for me, means individual negation to laws, order, and systems. This anarchy not only opposes both vegan and anthropocentric morality but morality all together: morality being the abstract form of governance that attempts to subjugate my individuality. My veganism requires no external governance to enforce or guide it. It is an individualist choice that reflects the consistency and practicality of living my life against authority.

For veganism to be logically consistent with animal liberation, it must be anti-authoritarian. From this point forward, the totality of capitalist, industrial civilization must be called into question. Being vegan and pro-capitalist is a contradiction since the full functioning of capitalism requires large-scale exploitation of natural resources, subsequently destroying and wiping out entire eco-systems. Capitalism requires the expansion of technological industrialization to accommodate the demands of mass society. Mass society requires the ever-expanding displacement of wildlife to house the growing human population. Civilization is rooted by agriculture which is predicated on the basic formula of taking more from the land than putting back. This results in irreversible damage to all eco-systems that directly affect non-human animals.

To be vegan and pro-statist is a contradiction, since veganism aims for animal liberation, while the State is the antithesis of liberation – reinforcing laws that utilize physical force to coerce all beings into compliance. The common denominator with the State and vegan morality is the shared positions held as “universal truths” above the individual. Both coerce; one mentally and the other physically. Both compliment each other’s intentions on conditioning “the masses”, and both encourage the disregard for individual self-interest, creativity, and self-responsibility.

If the basis of animal liberation is freedom, empowering a governing agency to enforce moral-based laws upon individuals is a contradiction. It reinforces speciesism through the division of human and animal; if humans are in fact animals, and the vegan aim is animal liberation, why wouldn’t “human” animals liberate themselves from the same shackles of both speciesism and governance as well? Speciesism is reinforced through human supremacy, and if human supremacy is to be dismantled socially, animal liberation applies to everyone. From this point of view, government is not needed for granting rights: the right to bodily autonomy and equality comes with the dismantling of governance – both the governance of morality and statism.

It is not a morality that governs my actions, but rather an individualist desire to wage war upon all systems, moral or not, that attempt to subjugate me and destroy the earth I require to survive. My decision to become vegan did not come from a vegan morality or a new law prohibiting me from consuming flesh and secretions. It came from ungoverned free thought which helped me view society in a critical way, discovering pragmatic ways of enacting my own project of liberation. My vegan anarchist praxis is a shared affinity with the non-humans who fight against the constraints and torture devices of modern technology, slaughterhouses, and the human-made hell of industrial society. There is no God, government, or morality to save us. Only our individual selves, the decisions we make and the actions we take.

~ Arming the will to survive with attack ~

Savage (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled. -Wikipedia

One common tenet of morality is the commitment to non-violence. As an individualist, I find violence to be useful in some circumstances, and impractical in others. But it is this open-ended utilization of violence that morality-based non-violence prohibits. When it comes to animal liberation (or from the statist perspective, animal rights), veganism is often advertised as a “cruelty-free”, “no harm done” or “non-violent” movement. This not only ignores the historical examples of successful animal liberations through violence, but it also promotes a limited range of strategic activity. The reinforcement of a non-violent morality discourages the use of violence against the institutions and individual agents of speciesist domination. Human supremacy utilizes every and all avenues of violence to maintain its control. To limit the arsenal of resistance to mere defence rather than incorporating attack is to strategically limit the range of possibility and potential in advancing animal liberation. When animal liberation is confined to the legal arena of statism, the agency of individual insurgency has been surrendered.

Within mass society, speciesism is not just confined to grocery stores; it is also embedded in the social and cultural traditions reinforced by individual participation. Therefore, individuals socially reproduce the normalization of non-human animal abuse, control, and domination. And while some of these individuals might emancipate themselves from the speciesist mindset of human centric entitlement, others might embrace and defend it. Therefore, violence becomes a necessary task carried out by those individuals who refuse to stand by and allow the social reproduction of anthropocentric morality and practice.

I find affinity with those of the wild that struggle against the machinery of industrial society and those who fight to defend the ecological habitats within which they survive. The need for intensified confrontation with speciesism is one that encompasses an anti-authoritarian strike against the ideology and institutions of capitalism, the state, and anthropocentric morality. Beyond mere legislative reform, animal liberation from this perspective necessitates the destruction of all cages and apparatuses that physically captivate non-human animals. Simultaneously, a war waged against the forces of “human” animal captivity and enslavement opens avenues of exploration beyond the superiority complex - the role and identity of “human” as distinct from animal and wildness.

Through spontaneous ruptures to the civilized order, vegan savagery asserts resistance through attacking the foundations that produce enslavement. From non-participation to feral insurgency, anarchy is the personification of any individual with the courage to become wild against domesticating subordination.

But vegan savagery is more than just violent veganism: it is the celebration of life against the laws of morality, civilization, control, and domination. It is the refusal to internalize the capitalist-industrial view of others as mere objects to exploit, consume, or enslave. This allows individuals to define themselves as their own autonomous beings, armed with the agency to attack those who attempt to subjugate them.

As a vegan anarchist, my fight for freedom is parallel with the struggles fought by the wild since the dawn of industrial society and civilized domestication. What savages we must be - fighting for freedom with every breath, reclaiming our lives through every act of violence against the machines of social control and domination! While the movements of morality continue to ignore the vital reality of amoral violent necessity, some of us continue to wage war against speciesism with nothing more than a fire for freedom in our hearts. In solidarity with the wild, and in defence of the ecological terrain I call home, my fight is fierce and ungovernable. Toward veganism beyond morality, toward industrial collapse and total liberation!

#animal liberation #animal rights #anti capitalism #earth liberation #green anarchy #moralism #nihilism #post left #vegan