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#2 many thoughts in my head
technologicz · 1 year
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I've been wondering if I'm objectum and I'm so confused abt it
like, my attraction to things comes and goes but this happens with other things aswell [like my feelings on romance with people and my feelings towards my f/os]
But also I don't necessarily perceive object sentience??? at least not all the time. Sometimes I'll think oh I'll make my calculator sad if I replace it but I don't really give names and pronouns to stuff like other people I've seen in the community
I already am super confused about my feelings about other people and now I'm questioning even more stuff. I was thinking maybe I could talk to someone if anyone is willing to try to help me out with this
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stuckinapril · 7 months
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Kind of ridiculous that it’s a ubiquitously held notion that if you don’t start a hobby while you’re literally a developing embryo then you can never go pro at it. I have all this TIME to live am I supposed to just lie down and die
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willowser · 1 year
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bakugou watches the news while washing the dishes.
muted, because he wouldn't be able to hear the weatherman over the faucet, anyway, and his brow is furrowed in concentration — at both his hands and the forecast for next week. behind him on the stove the kettle warms and you eye it lazily, jumping back and forth from it to the way bakugou's muscles shift beneath his shirt as he scrubs.
sometimes it amazes you, the strength he's built within his body — the broad span of his shoulders as he rolls them, sleeves almost too tight for his biceps, and the rest of the material hangs loose on his body, swaying off his tiny waist as he swaps weight from one foot to the other — but you know it hasn't come easy; even now, from where you're sitting, the heavy, pink scarring on his cheek is visible when he tips his head down.
you stand quietly, shuffling across the tile of the kitchen until you're close enough to wrap your arms around him. bakugou says nothing as you press your cheek into his back, only peeking over his shoulder when you press a gentle kiss into his soft cotton tee.
"thank you for spoiling me," you murmur, nuzzling further into him when you receive only a grunt, one you feel more than hear. "the food was really good, sweetie-pea."
the silly name makes him snort and he shakes his head when you hum, amused. dinner has made you full and tired and you lean a little further into him than you maybe should, though if he minds at all, he doesn't show it. instead he just sighs, breath stuttering when you slip your hands under the loose material to gently run over his stomach. just like you, he's soft, a tummy full of food, but it's not long before his abdomen is contracting, muscles suddenly tight under your touch.
you laugh quietly into his shoulder, holding back the urge to bite him. "are you flexing, tough guy?"
"shuddup," he grumbles, shifting his weight once more. "...bein' fuckin' touchy."
at that you inch closer, now purposely much too in his space — and yet he still doesn't push you away. around his shoulder, you watch him run a soapless plate under the water for almost two minutes before his focus returns and he moves on, and then you do bite him, because you can't help it.
bakugou hisses and jerks away when your teeth sink into his bicep, flushed face made more obvious as he turns to glare down at you. before he can get a word in, you kiss him in the center of his chest, over the scars of his heart, and offer him a sweet smile.
"love you,"
his eyes dart away on instinct, embarrassed, but he's been working on his vulnerability; his lips twist once before he's pressing them into your hairline, leaning back against you in return as the kettle starts to squeal.
"drink your tea, woman," he grunts, nuzzling into you the tiniest bit before letting you free. "love you, too."
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dizzybizz · 3 months
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sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat
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sangpires · 8 months
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astarion does the talking in my party...
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hatsunerandal · 1 year
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whoever said “lockwood giving lucy her fouth grade was him giving her a reason to stay an the ability to leave” should be put behind bars how dare hou say something al accurate
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et-in-arkadia · 10 months
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i can’t stop thinking about how
-aziraphale still has no idea that crowley went to heaven when aziraphale was in danger, risking his entire existence by walking directly into the belly of the, well, angelic beehive
-aziraphale doesn’t know what crowley learned there: that gabriel was judged and cast out for vetoing the final world-and-time-stopping extinction-level event, “armageddon the sequel,” and that the metatron was part of the trial that punished gabriel
-crowley warns aziraphale that heaven will end life on earth, but he doesn’t explain how he knows that. aziraphale thinks he can make a difference because he isn’t aware that there’s already a specific, catastrophic plan in motion. even when crowley implies heaven will be up to no good for humanity, it then becomes more imperative for aziraphale, rather than less, that he go to heaven to act as a mitigating and tempering force (because aziraphale is—lest we forget—“the soft one who still believes in magic and people being basically good and all that”)
-from everything aziraphale knows from his perspective, he’s making the right decision to help a heaven bent on ushering in a new age. he doesn’t have crowley’s side of the story, and crowley never gives it to him
-a simple “i went to heaven masquerading as an angel to save you and there learned that gabriel was cast out after his apparent love for a demon caused him to try and thwart impending total destruction” could’ve gone a long way but it’s also very clear neither of them are listening in the final scene because they’re both so anxious to be the one heard
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xxcrystalinerose · 4 days
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Thinking about the Fate-unravelling incantation once again.
Moros spoke of how he was not only the Fates' brother but also their guardian, and that they raised him under their watch. He was privy to their weavings, as the sole emissary to this trio of all-powerful, reclusive deities whose threads bind even the gods.
So, surely, he was there when Nyx met with the Fates to bring Zagreus back to life? We know that quite a lot of Nyx's children are old old—Thanatos has known Megaera much longer than Zagreus has ever been alive, yet he is implied to be one of the younger or at least middle children—so it's not entirely out of the question that Moros is already grown up enough to work with and for the Fates.
Moros knew of the price and consequences of defying the Fates' weavings. Of which their Mother, the Primordial Night herself, refuses to speak about even to this day, whatever terrible things it cost her or involved. She doesn't even allow any discussion about the Fates themselves, either. It was THAT bad and that's all we need to know.
It speaks volumes of how dire the present situation is, and how much Moros wants to assist Melinoë's task—not just help it, but make it possible in the first place (re: her bloodline curse)—that he straight up defies the top brass of the celestial bureaucracy by doing the godly equivalent of a younger sibling who overheard his older siblings had put some leftovers in the fridge to eat later, then went and stole the food for himself when they left the house.
Oh Moros, you've got it bad. At least you don't officially condone Mel's actions. We all know that's how bureaucracy works, right?
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rocks-in-space · 1 month
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After the whole geas/music box shenanigans, can I just say that I still think (and hope) that Steel isn't up to any like ~great evil plan~ that goes way beyond the pale of anything we currently understand about her. I don't think she's some secret villain; she's just Suvi! She's Suvi if Suvi continues down her current Citadel path and doesn't step off it. Steel is kind, just, well-intentioned, open-minded as any Citadel wizard can be. It's also very likely that she's condoned, participated in, or even orchestrated atrocities.
I think it's important to see that these things can coexist. That the justification machine could work on anyone. No matter how kind you think you are, any of us given the right circumstances could probably fall victim to propaganda or indoctrination. You don't have to be finger-steepleingly evil or monstrous, just a person. Especially if the system in question has granted you privilege or comfort.
Steel has thrived in the citadel/empire, and that makes it especially easy for the justification to work, for her to not question too fundamentally the place that has given her privilege and power (though interesting that wizards like Stone have fundamentally questioned the Citadel and come back to it. I can't wait to find out more about why). Plus we know almost nothing about Gaothmai or Rhuv, and I suspect there are things that further explain how the justification machine is able to succeed.
We know she is extremely committed to the Citadel at the moment, but it isn't blindly. As she says in ep. 23, "It feels like every inch I move within this Citadel, someone has a great reason to protect people from accountability, from knowledge, and from clarity. Everybody's got a vested interest in putting up walls and fog in a place whose sole purpose is to bring light to the world." I think she's at the point that many many people are at IRL where they separate an institution's or structure's stated intent from its actual impact.
I think it would be very compelling to see that Steel is what you can get when you take someone like Suvi and not have the connections to others with very different lived experiences and have many difficult conversations and do a lot of self- and world-interrogation. I think we all want that for Suvi, and I think it's quite possible that rather than being a big bad, that's an option for Steel as well.
However, I have every confidence that these people will create an extremely compelling story no matter what happens.
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jounosparticles · 6 months
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jouno’s eyelashes - a quick analysis
yes im analyzing jouno’s eyelashes. im obsessed with him what can i say.
one thing i’ve noticed throughout my many rereads of jouno’s segments of the manga is that he is actually given eyelashes in a lot of the panels he is present in! often times they’re just thin white lines but they’re definitely there. here are some examples.
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now, if we recall back to what harukawa said about eyes a long time ago:
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the darker ones eyes are, the more tainted or corrupted a person is. someone who is doing good and/or feeling good may have whiter eyes. to rephrase, one who’s eyes are dark are typically doing something corrupt and/or are in an emotionally bad state. we see this numerous times throughout the manga with many characters, the shade of their eyes changes with their emotion at the time usually.
now what does this have to do with jouno? well, i believe his eyelashes are used to display his intentions since he keeps his eyes closed constantly.
now, there are definitely some exceptions to this. panels where his eyelashes are small could be hard to colour this way, so im looking past a few instances for that purpose.
anyways, i believe looking at his eyelashes in this perspective also hints towards his betrayal of fukuchi, since you can see he has good intent. more on this later.
i'd also like to preface this by reminding you that jouno believed he was in the right with most things he did. he was sure the agency was in the wrong for a long time, times where his lashes were white while dealing with the agency was likely because he believed himself to be doing what is good.
now, starting with his debut in chapter 57, his eyelids are almost completely black as he arrests dazai
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his eyelashes appear a bit darker as he torments people i find.
such as shortly after he slices kunikida's notebook and asks tetchou to kill yosano.
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one scene i actually want to put a lot of emphasis on here is chapter 78's interaction between jouno and kunikida.
here is his face when he first walks in, he's simply making small talk over how a terrorist attack is awful
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we can see his lashes pretty well.
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we can also see it well when he's talking about his asian pear. maybe he just really likes them.
however, as the conversation progresses onto tormenting kunikida, his eyelids casually grow darker.
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they're not completely black yet, but you can tell he is enjoying bothering kunikida despite his claim of innocence.
after this, you can see his lashes are a little brighter as he announces that yosano is going to be executed.
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this makes sense remembering that he is under the belief that yosano is guilty of terrorism and is getting the punishment he believes she deserves.
after this, jouno walks away as kunikida cries out in anger.
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his eyelashes are almost completely black here, likely because he is getting nothing but personal enjoyment out of kunikida's grief. he isn't doing good by this and this could definitely be seen as corrupt behaviour.
a huge contrast to what i've been saying falls in chapters 71 and 72, the cafe scenes.
you can see the white of his eyelashes in nearly every panel he's in.
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what makes this different than when he was bothering kunikida is that bothering the cafe owner was moving his case forward. he believed he was pursuing justice and doing what is right by extracting important information here; as opposed to doing nothing but mentally torturing someone who isn't improving his case. from his perspective, his actions weren't tainted in anyway except possibly approach, but since he was doing what was right his eyelids were painted white.
another example of this is in chapters 60 and 61, when he is fighting the agency for the first time.
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and when the agency escapes and he's surprised to find out the pursued terrorist group would have allies in chapter 62.
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i found that these three chapters had a lot of small panels where you couldn't really see the detail of his eyes, but generally they were white as he caught the criminals. they were also white as they escaped, since he was likely confused that people were easily supporting the group he perceived as evil.
my last example of this is his eyes being very white as he tortures the bank robbers in the flashback scenes in chapter 92.5.
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he believes that he is seeking justice here. the robber gets what they deserve, and his intentions are what he believes in just which explains his eyes being white.
anyways, to summarize this all: jouno's eyelashes colour often displays his morality. his lashes seem to be coloured more white when he is doing what is morally right from his perspective. even if what he is doing is considered brutal by most, his eyes glow white if it is in pursing of justice or good. in contrast, if what he is doing has no overall benefit and he is just distressing someone for purely his own enjoyment, his eyelids often are coloured much darker.
however, as i said above i believe this subtly hinted at jouno's betrayal of fukuchi.
in chapter 92, we can still see by his eyelashes that he has the right intentions when hunting for the agency.
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and towards the end of the chapter we see his eyes still have a small white streak, implying his bluff on actually being willing to switch to the other side. at the same time, the thinness of the lash could be so small because he is lying to his superior as well, which i suppose could also be seen as tainted behaviour.
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however, after fukuchi's plan is unraveled we see the brightness shine again.
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as i stated above, when he isn't doing what he believes is right or is tormenting people for no reason but his own enjoyment, his eyes look black. but if you look at the image below you can see his eyes are partially coloured white, hinting that he was going to do what was right. it is subtle colouring, i assume that is partially due to the fact that his face was rather small on the page. but regardless it is still noticeable.
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and what do we know? he did switch up and betray fukuchi shortly after saying this.
with that in mind, there's one scene i deliberately avoided bringing up until now; the scene i believe heavily tries to avoid hinting at jouno's betrayal of fukuchi. im referring to the scene where jouno confronts aya.
as i said, if jouno is acting corrupt towards someone for his own fun, his eyelids are dark, but if he's doing something that he believes is just his lashes remain partially white. i believe that out of context his eyes would likely be black as he torments aya, however since he secretly had good intention they would have actually been white.
however, the readers had yet to know the context of his approach until the end of chapter 93, so they needed to hide the fact that he may have had good intent here.
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so harukawa kept his eyes covered (or coloured his face differently) throughout the scene.
the most we see of his face in this whole scene is his side profile, which is small enough to not need to colour his eyelashes in.
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i believe this was an intentional choice to keep the readers from guessing that he was doing something he believes is right here.
anyways, to sum up this segment i believe that jouno's eyelashes in chapter 92-92.5 subtly hinted at the fact that he was indeed siding with aya and was preparing to betray fukuchi.
in conclusion, i believe jouno's eyelashes hint at his true intent a lot. they show that he is a good person hiding behind a facade. the shading of his eyelids is a lot more subtle than how most character's eyes look in the manga, which i believe helps add more to jouno's somewhat moral ambiguity. he is an incredibly well-written character and i can't wait to see more of him!
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imperfectcourt · 8 months
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Firm believer that Matt hangs with the monsters after the girls graduate considering everything and also being roommates with Aaron and Nicky and All this is to say that down the road the monsters are the ones who take Matt out for his bachelor's party and they all somehow have to make it to brunch the next morning that Allison is bankrolling in some fancy restaurant and they- every last one of them- are all a Wreck
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average-hua-cheng-fan · 10 months
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on hua cheng's morality and self esteem
on my first read of the book, i was actually convinced that hua cheng was this amoral asshole but that's just what he WANTS you to think. hua cheng actually cares a lot about ghost city (founded to combat the injustice of ghost persecution btw), he just downplays his achievements in front of xie lian because he doesn't want to 'trick' him into liking him. he also sees any accomplishments as a direct result of dianxia's influence so it would be wrong to take credit for them. perhaps hundreds of years of playing the part of the terrible calamity skewed his perception of himself even further.
in his introduction in heaven, they say how he would "Sometimes... carry out a massacre in cold blood, and sometimes he would do odd acts of kindness" (page 157, book 1) which makes me wonder what heaven defines as "cold blood." he visibly dislikes the man who bet his daughter's life and mentions killing several tyrants. in creating e'ming, he nearly destroyed himself in order to save those mortals. on the casino in ghost city, "If I don’t control a place like this, then someone else will. I’d rather that person be me." (page 107, book 2.) he has a very strong sense of justice that he hides under 3 million layers of arrogance.
xie lian gets the ability to tell if he is lying early in the book and sees him for who he really is. they're very similar in that they have this drive to do good in the world but think about it and go about it in very different ways. hua cheng even mentions that it doesn't matter how you go about saving the common people, and that xie lian over-complicates what is right and wrong and should do what he wants... but he wouldn't turn that logic on himself :/
anyway
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**this is my reading btw if anybody wants to have a discussion im 100% down
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necessarymeanstoanend · 2 months
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spade represents the tip of a pike; an implement for killing
alex’s
white void of doom
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sketch and background element/scribble that isn’t really visible but i’m sharing just in case anybody did notice it.
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other details
#now i have to draw one for alex *sobs*#how tf do you guys come up with backgrounds for EVERY DRAWING?! oh my god. i’m not creative enough for this bullshit#two things i discovered with this drawing: 1) birds are hard af to draw. 2) wet black hair is hard af to draw#you guys have no idea how many purple hues are actually in this art piece#this is like if dream and jessamy happened to have met under way worse circumstances#anyway let me know if you guys have any ideas for alex’s (i have no idea when exactly i’ll actually get around to it but still)#bones and shit#a majority of this one was inspired by The Locked Tomb fanart and symbolism#6 hours and 34 minutes but i’m gonna guess that roughly an hour and a half of that was me trying to figure out a background#tom sturridge#like minds#murderous intent#like minds 2006#nigel colbie#art#fanart#drawing#digital art#nigel colbie fanart#artist of tumblr#like minds art#nigel colby#<- including the old tag bc why not#somebody get this movie out of my brain#scoop it out along with all the other useless shit i keep in there#i was thinking maybe alex’s should be the complete opposite of this#like instead of his head being turned down it would be turned upwards#maybe he should be wearing the clothes he did when we first saw him with sally rowe (or maybe his school uniform)#i ​definitely want both of them to be side profiles and the theme is going to have to be somewhat consistent as well#<<‹ these tags are mostly so i remember my own thought process but feel free to leave your two cents
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scintillyyy · 12 days
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honestly though. while there are some very crunchy jack & tim bits in war games after tim's return to robin, i do hate that the jack finds out tim is robin story was written by willingham in general. because. now we're stuck with like. jack finds out when he finds out tim isn't actually on football at a parent teacher conference & then goes over to point a gun a bruce's head with a bunch of implications that the drakes are somehow this military family (tim's grandpa being a war hero, jack being implied to have served at one point to make the ~tim is a noble soldier~ comparison). and while i ignore all of the stupid willingham military stuff because it doesn't make sense for them in any way, shape, or form overall as a story of 'jack finds out' in unmasked it's very weak as far as actually exploring the father-sonisms-tensions with bruce that *should have* arisen from this very scenario (which is why the conversations between them during war games proper are much stronger).
because tbh i think it should have gone more of a route of jack figuring it out/recognizing his son *in the act* vs him finding out tim is lying to him via a parent-teacher conference. because wrt to jack and tim the tension is supposed to be that jack is with him, but he still doesn't really see him, right? so idk, i feel like jack finding out/being hit with the fact that his son is lying to him should have been much more direct--jack has to finally see tim in order to finally deserve the truth, or something.
so if it were me i would have put it like. i would put it after brentwood & the marriage & the loss of money but instead of jack gets depression, i'd go with jack tries to be a super present dad again (because that's all he can do atm) & he and tim are like doing more? so tim has to use the school excuse more. and so jack thinks everything is going well with him and tim & that they're super super close again. and one night, he's out for dinner with dana when something happens, like the restaurant gets attacked. we see jack think something like "thank god tim isn't here tonight bc he had football practice"--and then robin shows up & tim has no idea jack and dana are there at that restaurant & jack has never really seen robin in action (there was that close call at the rainforest charity thing poison ivy attacked but tim got sent out after the anti-toxin instead of staying with the victims. this is also a good callback to that--can tim deal with his family in danger & not let it affect robin). and like. tim is able to act professional, and dana doesn't recognize him...but jack does. and then they're on their way home and dana is like "wow, sure glad we got saved" and jack is just sitting there silently because everything is coming together. and he's now finally seen the truth.
and i would put jack's depression arc here? like. he shuts himself in his room at first to wallow in what he did wrong that tim is robin. & i'd probably make it so tim is the one trying to reach out like "dad is something going on? you okay?" in a role reversal and then tim leaves one night (to do robin stuff) and jack is sitting awake in his bedroom and hears it & he's been slowly getting angrier over the past few weeks & only then does he go out to confront bruce about it directly. and. i probably wouldn't do the whole 'threatens bruce with a gun' thing, but i would go with a lot of yelling and screaming followed by breaking down into tears by jack. so then when jack says tim needs to quit. what else can bruce and tim do but agree. and then something happens & tim is called to return to robin and jack has to let him bc that's his son finding his calling & being a hero. how can he not let tim save the world.
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43sol · 11 months
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worst besties best worsties
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leeryhunter · 5 months
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Scratch wants to obey Alan. The darkness craves to return to its creator. Scratch will be obedient and loyal if Alan is ready to listen for him. But he will become fury, uncontrollable, unbearable when Alan reject him. Scratch wants to obey Alan, craves to be dominated over him, asks for a hard strong hand that will lead him, to guide his thirst of destruction. (But will Alan be able to control himself?) Scratch belongs to Alan, he is a part of a single whole, he is a lost piece of writer's soul. The cat that walks by himself but always returns to the master.
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