#3am rambles

[localapparently]

/ orv main story ending spoilers , mentions of kdj's suicidal mindset

mindless rambling

my friend who just finished orv asked me why kdj couldn't just split like 2% off of himself into an od avatar and leave that in the train while he joined kimcom, and while my initial reaction was "there's no way he could just do that" I remembered i thought a similar thing when I first read through orv too? and maybe it got explained down the line but I forget things real easy (which is why i'm rereading orv) and so I'm just trying to make sense of it using my existing knowledge

There's this bit in epilogue here:

Sangah's words "protecting the world by dividing himself in half, one becomes the reader, one becomes the character". the first being 51 and the second being 49,

I think there are layers to it. Right after being shaken by the OD ordeal, kdj's mindset that he's to blame for the whole world is reinforced stronger than ever before in his head, because he had just witnessed living proof of it. And that's not something he can overcome just because sp and 999 gang took od away to take care of him. Even then, kdj was confused why they weren't angry.

There's also the persisting mindset kdj has that he's twsa's reader and not a proper part of kimcom, and he probably felt like he should bear the burden of consciously continuing to read the world until the very end. He managed to see himself as part of kimcom over the course of the story but od's appearance sort of undoes all that progress he's ever made, and its sad but its pretty common for self hate mindsets to spiral like that,

He probably felt like he deserved it, yet him wanting that extra 2% difference to prove he knew and loved kimcom more than his avatar. Him regretting splitting in half right after the avatar left and he saw them all walking away. He knows what he wants and in the end he can't bring himself to think that he deserves it

And honestly I don't really know why the way singshong writes kdj's self hate and suicidal tendencies get me so badly, I mean I do, kind of, the feeling is there, but it's incredible how long the set up was and how real it feels when you see it all go downhill.

i think od reveal truly truly fucked up kdj to no repair. like if you read the passages, its fucking heartbreaking.

"My own tragedy couldn't even compare to their pain. The sin of creating an even bigger tragedy because of my own should not be forgiven." "Something was wrong. A blade… I, I needed to find a blade."

and the thing that gets to me is how easily anyone who has had self loathing thoughts can empathise with him. The want to disappear for inconveniencing things that would've been perfectly fine and pretty and happy had you not come into contact with it, the idea that you are a disgusting monster and its easier to shut yourself off than do any more damage. and its Fine if youre in pain because They will be happy and theyll will be happier without you.

It fascinates me how a portion of readers of orv who self blame or self doubt love kdj so much, because the act of loving him is also some form of self reassurance that they can be loved as well, because if someone like kdj can be forgiven, then surely they can, for all their small or big mistakes that are definitely not on the scale of plunging the universe into a space apocalypse. or something.

but i might be assuming so. don't take my word for any of this.

tldr he doesnt split out a small avatar to take the place of od because he thinks he deserves it. which is quite obvious if you take a look at the big picture, and i dont really know why i rambled so long. maybe ill reread orv and theres gona be a small bit that's like "ohh well actually if it was too small of a percentage that became od the universe wont hold up" and i will be like Ah yes i just missed that part. and this ramble will be void. uhh yes. have a nice day

#orv #orv spoilers #kim dokja #3am rambles

[shadow-ray4]

Idea: Pop World Tour AU

Essentially: Poppy finds out about other trolls, tries to befriend them via various pop medleys. This obviously doesn’t work, so she steals everyone’s strings because “if everyone is like us, there won’t be anything stopping us from being friends!” All the while, Branch sits very disapprovingly on the sidelines.

(More details below cut)

Poppy is looking through her dad’s old scrapbooks, eventually finds the Troll History one that talks about the other trolls and why they all separated and decides to go on a friend-making crusade of sorts (with the Snack Pack of course)

She starts singing all sorts of medleys of every top hit she can think of, and gets either thrown out or thrown in jail every time.

Eventually, Branch speaks up and says something along the lines of “Hey, this is starting to seem like a bad idea and I don’t think they like our music very much,” and Poppy says some along the lines of “Well if you think it’s such a bad idea, what do you suggest?”

Branch, of course, suggests going home, and at first Poppy’s all “What?? No! Absolutely not, giving up now is NOT an option!” But eventually starts to lean more towards “Actually, going home and doing some more research might help” and Branch is all “okay, I meant more “go home and give up before we start a war”, but sure, whatever.”

So they go home and start doing research, and Poppy finds out that if you put all the strings in a genre-specific instrument (like the harp that the Pop string is currently in), that they’ll all change genre and goes “Oh my gosh!! This is perfect!!! If all the trolls are the same genre, then there won’t be any reason to stay separate!” And of course Branch tries to take her out of it, and of course Poppy doesn’t listen, and they start the World Tour.

They send out invitations (think almost exact same wording as Barb’s invite) to an actual party where Poppy pitches her plan, and of course, no one agrees and everyone leaves incredibly pissed. Poppy sees this, and instead of doing the reasonable thing and leaving everyone alone, she goes on the offensive to take all the strings by force.

Branch tries to put a stop to this, even going as far as a heart-to-heart about people’s differences making them stronger, just like how different they are, and that some trolls just aren’t meant to be friends, but Poppy shuts it down saying that their differences was the only reason the trolls ever stopped being friends, and of some trolls really weren’t meant to be friends, maybe they weren’t meant to be friends. Then we get our “Perfect For Me”-adjacent scene.

Full battle plan in action, she successfully steals all the strings (mostly via stealth, but with a full assault team on standby just in case). This does not go over well, and everyone goes to Pop Village to get their strings back, just as Poppy had hoped. She then tries to play the Ultimate Power Chord, only to be stopped by Branch. She then lashes out at him, has him locked in the Fun Dungeon, and then turns everyone into Pop Zombies.

Thankfully, Branch escaped the Fun Dungeon, breaks all the strings, and has a serious, firm talk with Poppy about how what she’s doing is absolutely not okay, even swaddling her in his hair to get her to listen, and Poppy says something along the lines of “you’re right, Branch. It’s okay for trolls to be different. Just like us! I, for one, love our differences.” And then we get the “and I love you, Queen Poppy” “I love you too, Branch.” And then people start singing and music returns to all of troll-dom again✨

THE END

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls au #3am rambles #GASP! an original post?

[thatchaoticdesigirl]

An Excerpt from the Burning Inferno

Love scares me.

I watch all those movies where the happy couple don't get their deserved ending and I'm scared that my fate will be the same... Or even worse. And then I watch the other movies and they scare me because what if I never get a love like theirs. So beautiful and large and just... All consuming. The one you would be willing to throw your life out for. A kind of love where you would be willing to go through the pain of having a hundred knives stab into you just to look into his eyes and feel him stabbing another because that's the closest you will ever get to him. It scares me to think that even after all those bloodshed and those sacrifices, it will never be enough.

Because love is a drug and humans are insatiable for it. It's a that is always just beyond your reach and moments you feel you have captured it just flies away again.. Leaving you wanting for more. Late at nights when sleep decieves me i think of him, of what could have been. I also think of all those times I tried so hard to pick up the broken pieces and get my fingers cut and my hand bruised and the survivor part of me dont really want to relive that. But the fleeting feeling of hope that accompanies love materializes through that tiny voice in my head, whispering, "so what? So what if you had picked up the pieces one more time? So what if you had cut your fingers and bruised your palms once again? "

I'm scared of love because I feel I will never deserve it because the one time it gave me a chance I didn't fight hard enough for it and I'm scared of love because all those people who has had a happy ending didn't have to go through the struggles of having a knife plunged in them.

#love #thoughts #3am rambles #3am thoughts #ramblings #bookblr #writings #bookstagram #explore #writers of tumblr

[3amclothesmonster]

Every Wednesday me ,friends and coworkers meet up to hang out. This last Wednesday we went to the park. And holy shit it was hella fun, we were on the swings 8 feet in the air (or something idk)

Climbing shit, sliding down shit and doing the see-saw but my favorite part was to be this,

At said park there is a spin thing, kinda like a tea cup ride but it needs to be manually spun, my friends little siblings and other little kids (aged 4 - 8 I'd say) were really were excited about this. So like any adult would do, we gathered around this thing, grabbed onto it and started running in a circle, causing it to spin. And it was an absolute BLAST

Kids were giggling, we were falling on each other, parents were taking photos and videos

Now please imagine this 17 - 23 year olds, all pretty tall height wise gathering around a 3'2 spin ride and just spinning it. Pretty fun and hilarious to witness.

Hell, some of us even got in it (Including me, so fucking fun)

Overall 10/10 experience. Go to parks and playgrounds more

(We also threw pinecones at each other which was fun.)

#3am.txt #3am rambles #Rambles #3am's Wednesday adventures #Guys. It was so much fun I cannot stress it enough

[kawaiiblue18]

Guys hear me out

What if princess and the frog au but its gay

Tiana is lesbian and has a secret crush on Lottie growing up that Tiana doesn't tell her because she believes Lottie is straight and doesn't want to ruin the friendship

Tiana meets Naveen in frog form and only agrees to kiss him because he claims that once he's human again, he can help her guarantee her restaurant. Tiana gets turned into a frog and the two of them and most of their adventures in the swamps are the same. Naveen develops a crush on Tiana, but when he tries to propose on the boat, Tiana reveals she doesn't feel the same way back. Tiana tells Naveen about her feelings for Lottie, trusting him enough at that point. Naveen is surprised but he respects that as he is no longer the arrogant man he used to be. While a little bummed out, Naveen still wants to help her for all she's done for him

When it's revealed Lottie is a princess, Naveen helps Tiana reach her so that they can kiss before midnight and reverse the curse

Tiana believes that Lottie wouldn't go through with it since she believes Lottie is straight. By that point, Lottie has done some self reflection after her bad experience with the fake Naveen. She realizes she doesn't need a prince afterall, recalling all the memories she shared with a certain girl over the years. Her happily ever after was really beside her all this time, Tiana (Lottie is bi)

Tiana is surprised when Lottie kisses her, reversing the curse and turning Tiana human again (she's wearing the same outfit the night that she turned into a frog)

Naveen, having done a selfless deed, is by extension also turned back into a human

Lottie and Tiana get married. Naveen decides to hang around chosing a new life to make better decisions

#princess and the frog #au #princess and the frog au #3am rambles #um #idk #i think its cute ok #sapphic princesses and a frog

[spaceboyace]

Very funny for both the one piece live action and the atla live action photos to come out on the same day. Twitter is eating up atla on the tl while praising one piece

#I literally have no interest in one piece or atla #but the fact that the actor for sokka lied about being Indigenous is insane #so very much on team one piece hehe #3am rambles #atla #one piece

[pixelatedraindrops]

I want to get some asks in my box ☔

so feel free to send me messages, questions or any sicknarios or illness headcanons involving my current fixation, RainCode :3

(anything too personal will be ignored)

#pixel txt. #ask me stuff #rain code #3am rambles #IM BORED SO ASK ME STUFF XD #whump community #illness whump

[grellestie]

please,, send me asks abt literally anything black butler related,,, i am begging u,,, i neeeeed it :(

#unimportant rambles #3am rambles

[fruitsofhell]

Sometimes I think about how wacky and overcomplicated my headcanon is for Galacta Knight and I'm like "eh, what is this for?" And then I remember how his entire character is being someone who's humanity was eroded with time until he became nothing but a living legend in the most existentially disturbing way possible and then I remember what it's all for!

It's for undoing the work of aeons of glorification and dehumanization and to make him the most complicated, fucked up and over, morally grey character I can write up lol.

#kirby #galacta knight #shut the heck up #3am rambles #my call to action for all gk enoyers: make him fuckinh weirder #if ur writing his backstory make him the most deranged little man possible

[ghestie-nun]

Aurora  “The Devil Is Human” really  made my hand itch to draw my oc serving secondo 

#papa emeritus ii #3am rambles

[miss-atropine]

With every new chapter, it's seeming more and more like a fever dream.

Maybe Copia was right.

Maybe there was a gas leak...

#the band ghost #chapters #chapter 11 #papa iv #3am rambles #copia thought he had rid of nihil #but now he'll never get rid of his damn ghost #haunted by grampa sax #the irony 😆 #ghost #papa nihil

[localapparently]

i love kimcom so much.. i love them so much..

theyre so..!! honestly if i think about them too much i'll cry.. and I'm rereading a few bits of dark castle to compare the novel and the webtoon and gosh, sleepyc and team's art really allows kimcoms interactions to feel more alive and goofy, silly even,,

epilogue spoilers ahead near the end

and novel's narration are like the gaps to fill in, both sides elevate the story,, i sound like a food critic but like. oh my goodness you read the part where kdj reunites with sys in dark castle after his revival and youre so taken by how sweet and cute it is. and then you read novel and..!!

I wouldn't have been able to run straight here if it wasn't for this feeling. I saw Shin Yoosung crying and thought that parents probably felt like this.

GOODBYEEEE I AM SO DEADDDD LIKE OH MY GOD YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME???

and webtoon chooses to let kdj maintain the same composure he had when he talked to jihye after saving her just moments prior,, and it works because now i read his inner thoughts in novel and I FEEL SO INSANE?!?!?! YOU BITCHHH SAY IT SAY YOU MISS HER?? no wait .. im getting off topic. this is becoming a kdj sys ramble

Honestly even though i call them found family I don't really classify them as a family either, they feel more like a home? at least at the first half of the story.. In an apocalypse where everything feels uncertain and you've lost all your close friends, you'd end up wandering aimlessly, so sticking to a group is moreso a temporary means of survival than friendship of any sort. It's also why kdj is so essential to kimcom as their glue, as the person who gathered them together, he provided them with that temporary party. and having that 'constant' you can return and realign to in that setting is so.. augh...

not to mention that three of the kimcom members are kids and kdj is their form of stability. lgy and sys hug him whenever they see him because he's the first adult that had ever shown them care. jihye is probably shaken from the first scenario but while she clings to yjh and admires him as her master, he probably doesnt do enough to reciprocate her respect or communicate as enthusiastically. now that i think about it, jihye feels kind of lonely, not young enough to get along with the kids particularly closely and not old enough to be buddies with the adults. does she make up for it by being talkative?)

And at this point in the story its evident that theyre not even that close !! singshong's writing style isnt one that elaborates on emotions and descriptive fluff to begin with, but sys is stated to not be so fond of jihye in ch162 because jihye was rude to kdj, they still feel like theyre in their own cliques. sys and lgy stick together as kids of similar ages, jhw and lhs get along normally, hsy is. hsy. lhs for one narrates kimcom as his 'companions' quite early on, but i'm unsure whether that choice is becuase thats just a suitable word for people closer than 'allies' but not close enough to be 'friends'. ultimately its just a buncha people who are trying to survive, and care about the guy that brought them tgt. it doesnt really feel like anything more than that.

and then as you're caught up in kdj's shenanigans, small snippets pass by and they feel a bit warmer yk. like sys and lgy having a coin flip whenever they're uneasy. (sys states that lgy has "done this before", like he's the one that has suggested the past coin flip(s). it feels like its implying that hes initiated this game system just to cheer up sys because shes a lot more transparent about feeling sad that kdj isnt there.) sooyoung of all people, willing to get an outer god contract to save sangah. jihye, hyunsung and seolhwa chilling in the room during proof of stars, and hyunsung was picking his nose like are you fr they are so unserious,.

in jttw arc ch 433, yoosung growing close enough to joonghyuk to not get intimidated by him and (forcefully (forcefully is a strong word but she straight up just puts it on his cheek unprompted and that is so funny of her)) apply seolhwa's ointment, even giggling when he allows her to do it after she brings up doctors orders.

after proof of stars, theres a portion that goes

The party members supported each other. (...) I saw the white lines connecting the empty universe. The stars, that seemed like they would never meet each other, were facing each other.

please know this: i wanted to cry and scream so bad. ive started to spell out kimcoms names rather than address them in their shortforms, that writing inconsistency is how emotional i am right now.

I can't do the justice of listing down every instance where they've grown a little closer, but i'm hoping to remember more on my second reread.

because orv is such a long novel, the way they gradually grow closer also feels realistic.. and by the time you're in the ch400s, its so clear that they wouldn't go anywhere else without each other.. if i start talking about vacation arc i'll just start sitting and staring at a wall again.

"you're explaining how an average found family trope is realised" Youre right!!! youre right!!,, me when the found family is actually found family.. don't shame me like this.. i'm just an emotional person..

Ah and then you get moments where their unity really shines, and they become god pummeling probability festering forces of nature... and its when one guy's life is in jeopardy. even when they weren't all that close yet, its when they save kdj where they feel most strong. and its a bit obvious because its like, common goal makes people group together yknow, but god the adrenaline and relief when they appeared in demon king selection.. the way their names pop up one after another when they vote for jung heewon's skill..

and 1865 !! 1865 was really the epitome of it all!! oh my god they were all so reluctant to return to the hell of the scenarios but they dragged themselves back because of one fucking guy that they loved too much. and i'm rereading 1865 a bit as i write this but the way they all yelled at their sponsors to pick them is so so funny and the whole speedrunning thing really shows their desperation to quickly find him but also feels a bit fun and even exhilirating with how theyd already beaten the game once, and they were going to storm through the whole thing again to reach kim dokja. like a fuckin earthquake. the lines in ch 536

They had to be insane. (...) These people who lost their minds were clearing the scenarios with insane methods.

YEAHHH THATS MY FUCKING KIMCOM WOOOH OH MY GODD THEYRE SO INSANE!!!!

kimcom's bond was strengthened because of their love for kim dokja, kimcom drifted so close because of how much they wanted to save kim dokja. whenever i think about the 'found family' trope between kimcom, it exists because they love kim dokja, and once again i'm reminded of how much that bastard is loved and how he denies that he is anything else but a reader outside the covers of the story.

It's not to say that all of kimcom's bonds were because of him, but it's clear that had it not been for him, they would have dissipated so much quicker.

agh. what was i talking about again..

genuinely i dont know if ive proven anything through this. i just had to talk about it. i havent even talked about the relationship between kdj and each kimcom member but then the post wouldnt end. sys's section would be thousands of words and i would even have a portion for gong pildu and jang hayoung..

i love kimcom. thats it thats the post.

#orv #3am rambles #dont give me access to tumblr past 2am you get shit like this #orv spoilers #kimcom #kdjc

[mochixkisses]

new sailor moon collab with hot topic has me crying rn. i want it all so bad, but i cannot afford it 😩😭

#mochitalks #3am rambles

[iloveyouemanuelmarco]

I came up with a super cool idea right now you guys wanna hear it? Okay so it's called Extreme Top/Extreme Bottom Surgery and basically it's like regular surgery for people who wanna physically transition but instead of normal practices like with doctors and stuff it's super hardcore and metal and brutal. Like you take a hook to your breasts or dick and like it gets ripped off with blood and gore everywhere but you also get cool emo ass photos of it and it'll be like a torture room but with spikes and stereotypically gothic imagery and shi. I think my idea sounds awesome af I should get a Noble Peace Prize for that yo. -Sincerly from OP, who is a transgender dude lmao(Please don't take the edgy and bloody violent stuff super seriously, I don't condone human suffering of the physical sort irl unless you're a masochist like me and consent to it:D!!).

#TW Blood Mention #TW Gore Mention #TW Pain #Random Idea #Random Thought #Shitpost #3AM Ramblings #3AM Rambles #3AM Thoughts #I Can't Sleep #Non-Sexual #SFW Interaction Only #NSFL #Not Safe For Life #Safe For Work #Transgender #Trans #Trangender Community #Trans Community #LGBTQIA+ Community #Edgy #Gothic #Emo #Scene Kid #LGBTQIA+ #LGBTQIAPlus #LGBTQIA #Masochistic #Top Surgery #Bottom Surgery

[abysskeeper]

"Ah yes, but fate itself demands the roles in this tale and determines who is set to play them. Exhibit A," she said, gesturing to the now empty master bedroom behind them. "The villain who eventually gets everything he deserves for his wicked misdeeds."

A playful smirk crossed her lips as she motioned to him, despite the shadows of pain he could see lingering in her eyes. "Exhibit B: the new, upstart hero who swoops in to finally save the day and rid the world of evil."

Her gaze pulled away from him and down to the main level of the tower far below them. "Then there's the reunited lovers, and the past heroes after long last being granted the opportunity to right their wrongs. The woman finally seeing her longstanding mission through, the man who finally rescued his friend and healed the world around him, and..."

She heaved a sigh, extending her hand out in front of her and examining the scars running across her palm. She muttered an incantation under her breath and the air around her hand blazed to life with light, the scars softly glowing gold under the divine magic. "And the well-woven tragedy, given just enough hope to foolishly continue marching forward," she concluded with a wave of her hand, the light disappearing with the movement.

"I was never going to find closure here. Not the kind I needed, anyways. I'm...not sure if that kind of closure is even possible anymore," she admitted. "I accepted that a couple nights ago. But gods damn it all if it doesn't still burn a little, to know that there was never a happy ending awaiting me here."

#don't mind me #my writing #3am rambles #as I...want to get weirder with bg3 divinity again #sometimes things just appear on my dash

[julesbranddt]

So... obviously we're still going to mess up often because we're just starting to recover from the mess that came after the 2014 WC but...I wholeheartedly agree with Klose, I don't think we have people with the right temper in the squad yet

Don't get me wrong, we are a thousand miles away from what the last world cup was and I believe the team vibe in general is so much better but we need better leaders.

I think when Mats was on the field last time things were better, maybe because of his personality. I feel that's playing a part, none of the kids have a strong well define personality yet.

I want to make clear I've got nothing against Ilkay and he's a fantastic player but I don't think he's the right captain for us.

I was always hopeful someone like Leon would take over the captaincy but lately I feel he's not the right choice either.

Also, I miss Manuel Neuer

#3am rambles #german nt