#5 seconds of summer fic

[suchalonelysunflower]

Villain

Sinners and Saints - Chapter 2

Pairing: Mafia! Ashton Irwin x Fem! Hemmings! Reader

Summary: Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? After seemingly accept to help her, Ashton would not make it easy for the reader to find his good graces.

Warnings: Violence, swearing, blood, guns, threats, kidnapping, murder, mentions of abuse, injury. Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language I’m sorry)

Word count: 5.9k

Author’s Note: I’m keeping it, and if you don’t like AU’s don’t read them 🤷🏼‍♀️ Thank you all for the support with the first chapter, it means a lot 🩷 And remember to reblog, comment and like the post if you enjoyed it ❤️ Hope you like it and happy reading 🌻✨🦋

Series Masterlist

“Careful, angel” You could hear the smile in his voice dripping with condescending sarcasm “We don’t want you to get hurt”

Still, you kicked and fought and bit and yelled “fire” hoping anyone could hear and come and help, but the music was too loud and you were at least ninety percent sure the walls were soundproof. You could not see anything besides the darkness of the velvet inside of the - you guessed - bag over your head. Your heels dug into the ground as the minions Ashton probably hired from the slums tried to drag you away.

“Get the fuck away from me!”

“Motherfuck-!” One of them yelled after you sunk your teeth deep into his hand. You smiled at the faintest taste of blood that lingered on your tongue. If you were going down, at least they’d know you fought back.

Ashton rolled his eyes with a sigh “You know,” He said “You used to be fun”

“Fun?!” You yelled turning your head toward where you thought he was, still dragging your feet as two pairs of arms dragged you “I would show you fun, you sick son of a-”

“Ah-ah better be careful with your next words, angel” Ashton tutted. You felt his breath next to your ear, goosebumps jumping up on your skin as he leaned down and whispered “We both know you like it”

At that point, you were hoping you had a bag over your head so that he would miss the way your cheeks flamed up at his proximity. But if you had to guess, he probably wore a devilish smirk right now, and oh, how you wanted the satisfaction to erase it completely.

“GODFUCK-” You smiled as you heard Ashton’s groan in pain after you kneeled him near his crotch.

“Oops”

Soon, your wrists were grabbed by one of his hands, pulling you closer to him. You could feel his heartbeat next to yours as he took off the covering of your face.

Hazel, angry eyes were staring right at yours, you didn’t dare look away. You couldn’t. His gaze scanned your face, lingering a second too long on your lips before his stare found yours again, looking back with something hidden in them, something that made your breath get caught up in your lungs the second you noticed the soft caressing of his thumb against the skin of your wrist. It was a challenge, it had to be. You knew Ashton’s tricks too well to fall for them so easily. But having him so close made you realize exactly why it seemed so thoughtless to give it all away.

“Why do you have to be so difficult?” He asked, words like velvet coming out of his mouth.

“I don’t know,” You answered, staring back at him with anger “Why do you have to be such an asshole?”

Ashton chuckled, “Ouch, and I thought we were getting along”

Suddenly, you felt someone yank you from his grasp and carry you over their shoulders to the exit. You kicked and screamed, but all was fruitless as you were thrown inside a car where they tied up your wrists and ankles, and covered your face with another blindfold.

“Believe me, angel. I had no intentions of tying you up this soon” Ashton’s voice came floating as you felt the seat next to you dip under his weight. You scoffed in annoyance.

“Bite me, Irwin”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, love” He said “And try and keep quiet, alright? Don’t make me gag you… Unless you want to”

The car started moving, and just like that, you were completely at his mercy.

*

During the whole car ride, you were completely silent and still. You didn’t even give him the satisfaction of breathing hard, and you knew you were driving him crazy. Well, if the consistent sound of tapping his fingers on his knee told you anything, that is. You had to repress a smile at that.

Ashton liked the chase and fight. You noticed it the second you saw that glint in his eyes. One does not get the name Lucifer by playing fair and liking it.

“Turn over here,” He told the driver “Take the next exit and then straight home”

You rolled your eyes. Of course, he didn’t want you to know where he lived or how to get there, it was all part of the protocol your father used with all of his associates as well. How many times have the driver picked you up from school and a random man was sitting at the back with a bag over his head and his hands bound with tape if anything?

But you’ve already sold your life to the devil. You promised everything he requested to save Luke from whatever hellhole he was caught up with. You trusted him despite yourself because no one else would’ve helped you due to the nature of your last name. Ashton knew this. He knew that you weren’t going to betray him, you couldn’t even if you wanted to while your brother was nowhere to be found. So what was all this circus? Was it just to humiliate you further?

“Someone’s awfully quiet over there” He taunted. You said nothing “Aww, cat’s got your tongue, angel?”

You kicked what you hoped was his seat and heard him laugh quietly. Your cheeks burn red as you bite your tongue from ever answering him. There will be nothing left to say until he starts helping you with the search.

Sometime later, the car came to a halt. You heard how Ashton’s men got out of the vehicle, feeling how it got lighter once they did. You were still sitting in place, not moving unless moved to become more of an inconvenience for anyone because they knew that if they tried to touch you, some of the bruises you left on them might become worse.

That’s until you felt a familiar grasp on your arm.

You tried to hit him once again, but Ashton was pulling you from a distance of a few steps ahead of you. He took you up some stairs and you heard a big door closing behind you. Suddenly, the light came through.

“Now, listen,” Ashton said as your eyes adjusted to the light and the new environment “I don’t want any funny business here, you got it?”

Your head was reeling too hard to even speak. Your eyes started to look around, familiarizing yourself with this new threat. The two of you were standing in a grand entrance lobby, the main staircase not too far behind in the room. There were guards on each door, some even waiting with firearms in their hands, ready to draw. The marble floors decorated the room with elegance, nothing you wouldn’t expect from someone in this line of business.

But what really impressed you was the size of this mansion. Of course, you had your fair share of them, coming from a big, important family, it was nothing new. But knowing that Ashton lived there alone… it sure felt lonely.

Yet, you barely had time to ponder on that as Ashton grabbed you by the arm again and dragged you up the stairs.

“You are never to leave this room, understood?”

“What?”

He opened up a door, practically throwing you inside and making you lose your footage.

“This door stays unlocked for me at all times” He sternly ordered “Don’t get in my way, don’t bother me, and don’t come looking for me. If you do, somebody better be dead or I’ll make sure they will be”

Ashton slammed the door after that, leaving you completely alone.

Immediately, you ran to the door, but when you opened it you found two guards standing with their broad backs facing you, both of them with guns.

You groaned and slammed the door shut. Falling to your knees as you desperately and angrily wiped away the tears that could not stop falling. You cursed Ashton’s name over and over again, hitting the ground until your knuckles were scraped and started to bleed a little bit. By then, almost all of your anger was contained and you were left feeling numb once again.

You stood up and cradled your hands with each other, looking around the green sage-painted room. The door of the bathroom was opened, so you went in to clean up the dirt and blood from your hands and fingertips. You noticed it had a bathtub; and towels; and the cabinet was filled with ibuprofen, bandages, and a first aid kit.

You looked back into the room and also noticed how the sheets were new, and the blankets over them were placed perfectly aligned with the pillows. You rummaged through the closet and found different outfits mostly consisting of sweatpants, hoodies, workout clothes, and a set of pajamas. The realization that Ashton got someone to get the room ready for you while you were driving to his house caught you by surprise.

Still, a cage was still a cage no matter how fancy it seemed.

The next thing you did was try to get to the windows, but as you suspected they were nailed shut and made with bulletproof glass.

“Smart,” You thought “You win this round, Irwin”

Suddenly, the antics of the day caught up with you as you let yourself fall into the sheets and the bed. You didn’t know how or when, but when you woke up, you were tucked underneath the blankets.

*

The next morning Ashton woke up with a major headache. His mouth was dry and his hair was sticking out in various directions. He got out of bed with a groan and with the everyday motivation coming from the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen.

But his thoughts are quickly scrambled by loud knocks at the door.

“Fuck… What?!” He shouted, rubbing his eyes, still trying to wake up.

“Sir?” One of his bodyguards talked through the other side of the door “I- uh. I’m afraid something’s happened… eh, with the guest. She- she’s not in her room, sir”

“WHAT?!

Immediately, Ashton was out of bed and putting on his sweatpants, grabbing the gun that slept next to him on his bedside table. He opened the door and put the front sight up against the guard’s neck and under his chin, making the man gulp when he saw the anger in his boss’ eyes.

“Say that again” He demanded.

“Th-the- the maid went to give her br-br-breakfast but the girl was not-”

Ashton rolled his eyes and murmured a “Fucking idiot,” before he went up to check up on the room across the hall.

Empty.

“Shit,” He cursed, punching the door frame and turning toward his crew “I want eyes on every fucking room in this house. The pool. The garden. The fucking sheds! Not a single rock left untouched! That’s Y/N Hemmings we’re talking about!”

“And if we find her?”

“When you find her you bring her to me. I’ll deal with her”

The men scurried quickly, leaving Ashton shirtless and alone in the hall. He cursed out loud and headed toward his office to check the cameras. Surely, if his idiot guards could not handle you, you still mustn't've gone too far-

Ashton backtracked a little bit, turning toward the door of the office and opening it completely. You almost laughed at his face when he saw you sitting there in front of his computer. But you quickly decided to ignore it and just go back to work. He has you trapped, but that does not mean you owe him any interactions.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked.

You noticed how his chest was rising and falling with anger he tried to keep at bay. The scars that adorned his skin seemed to come alive at that. His eyes were trained on you, waiting for an explanation.

“Starting the investigation” You shrugged.

“How did you-?”

“Please, I still remember your mum’s birthday. You’re the type of man who would use that as his password. I didn’t need to try that hard”

Ashton saw red at your comment. He slammed the gun to the desk and grabbed you by the arm, surely leaving bruises as he dragged you out.

You started to fight, punching him wherever you could. But he suddenly stopped and grabbed your other wrist with his hand, twisting it a little bit, just enough to make you complain and to stop your attempts to hurt him.

In his eyes, you could see the reason why people say he’s the angel of death. There was nothing but anger and hatred as he looked at you. It scared you for a moment, but it wasn’t going to make you run away.

“You said you would help me” You spat at him.

“I never said I would make it my priority”

“You motherfuck-” You cursed him out, trying to escape his grasp but it was useless. Yesterday he might’ve been playing a little bit, but now he was showing you his real strength.

Ashton shoved you back into your room, not even looking as he said “Change of plans, since you want to be a brat, you’ll be treated as one”

Then, he slammed the door and you heard the lock being put on.

You ran up to it, banging on it and fiddling with the knob to no avail. You cursed out his name and yelled at him, demanding to be let out.

“WE HAD A DEAL!” You’d shout until your voice gave out, but it all fell on deaf ears.

What have you gotten into?

*

Hours later, while you’re trying your best to pick the lock of the windows, the door opens.

“That’s not going to work, you know?” A kind voice said, “Believe me, I’ve tried”

You turned around to find the blond girl from the bar. She was smiling at you, leaning against the door frame. But the way she smiled… It seemed too familiar. Then, it hit you.

“Lauren,” You breathed her name, she laughed.

“About time you remember me!” Lauren said, walking into the room and sitting over the bed, patting the spot next to her “I almost thought you forgot about me”

“It’s not that,” You said, complying and sitting beside her “It’s just- wow, you were so little the last time we saw each other. And now…”

“I know, right? The glow-up did me good” She joked “And so it did to you. When you gave me your name yesterday, I must admit it took me a while. But when I noticed how my brother started to act…”

You rolled your eyes at her comment about Ashton “So being her prisoner is special treatment?”

“Having him agree to help you is special treatment. You know how he is”

But that was the thing, you didn’t. You’ve known of him, of his reputation, of his deeds. But Ashton Irwin was a complete stranger to you. Whoever that person at the end of the hall was, he was far away from the boy you used to know.

“Are you-?” You cleared your throat, not knowing how to ask the question.

“In the family business?” Lauren finished for you “No, I’m only working at the bar and as Ashton's assistant for a few months. Took a sabbatical from uni. Harry is also going there but he’s more applied to his studies” She laughed “Ashton never wanted us involved, even made us change our last name for a while so we don’t get connected to him or all of this.”

“I’m glad,” You smiled. “I would’ve done the same thing if I had younger siblings. My brother’s did try it with me, though. But, you know” You looked at her, and something flashed in her eyes “You look a lot like her”

“I know,” Lauren smiled at you, putting her hand over yours “And, I haven’t said it yet, but I truly am sorry about your brothers. It’s a shitty situation”

“Tell me about it,”

“But I know if anyone is going to find Luke, it’s Ashton” She assured you “And, don’t tell him this? But I did have a little girl crush on Luke way back when. So I really do hope you’ll find him”

You laughed at that, promising to keep quiet “Be honest with me, Lauren. Am I doing the right thing by trusting Ashton?”

She sighed “If I’m being honest, I would tell you that you already know never to trust anyone in this line of work. But as someone who knows Ash, and knows everything he’s been through and done… He’s a good guy, Y/N. Or at least better than the rest”

You nodded, understanding what she meant. Yet, your heart was still doubting. Still worried you made the wrong choice by coming to him.

“Oh, and before I forget,” Lauren said, getting up and handing you an old cellphone, “Ash told me to give you this”

“What for?”

“Communication, emergencies. You name it. It only has his number on it, but I snuck mine before he could notice” She gave you a wink “Talk to you later, okay?”

“Hey, Lauren?” You called for her before she left “Thank you. Thank you for everything”

The girl smiled and closed the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts and that old phone in your hands. So you decided to test it.

Me: Couldn’t you have found one phone from this generation?

Ashton: They can easily be tracked. You know that.

Ashton: So, sorry if you wanted games installed.

Me: Are you going to let me out so I can continue with the investigation?

Ashton: Are you going to be a good girl for me and do as I tell you to?

The redness of your cheeks went up to your ears. Groaning as you read that message.

Me: Fuck you, Irwin.

Ashton: Still with that attitude, angel? Too bad, I was going to ask you what you wanted for dinner. Guess the chef will skip that request, then.

Me: I will be caught dead before having dinner with you.

Ashton: Good. We can finally benefit each other, then.

You threw the phone against the wall, denting it a little bit with no damage done to the phone. This was going to be a long day.

*

It was 2 AM when the sound of the door banging against the wall woke you up.

“Get up,” Ashton’s voice rang through your head as you sat up “We’re leaving”

“What?”

He was standing in the middle of the room dressed in an all-black suit, his hair was pushed back, leaving just a wild stand of honey-colored curls to fall upon his forehead. To anyone else, it would seem he was headed to a party, but you knew that could not be the case. He scoffed, already annoyed.

“Are you deaf?” He asked, cocking his gun without even meeting your eyes “I said get up, we’re leaving. Now”

“I’m not going anywhere with you”

Finally, he looked up at you, refusing to accept the challenge that you presented to him.

“I don’t think you understand, angel-”

“Don’t call me-”

But before you could finish your sentence, he took two long strides to your bed and put the gun right up your forehead, fingertips on the trigger.

“When I say you jump, you ask how high. If I tell you to move, you move. This isn’t daddy’s little playground where you can make the rules, princess. I’m in charge here. You work for me. You belong to me. Understood?”

You said nothing, staring directly at him with all the hatred you felt for him at that moment. His hazel eyes mirrored yours, feeling nothing but disgust under his gaze. Yet, you knew he was serious.

“I don’t like to repeat myself, angel. But for you I’ll make an exception” He said gravely “Understood?”

“Yes,” You said through gritted teeth.

Ashton put away his gun, snapping his fingers. Never taking his eyes off you as a maid brought a change of clothes into the room. It was a long-sleeved, black cotton shirt; a pair of black cargo pants; a multipurpose belt; and a can of pepper spray.

“What’s this?” You asked, picking up the tiny can.

“You’re going to blend in with my security team”

“Then shouldn’t I be carrying a gun as well?”

Ashton laughed, “Nice try, angel”

“Irwin, I’m serious! How am I supposed to protect myself with just this?!”

“Then I guess we’ll figure it out,” He said, sparing one last look at you. “I expect you to be downstairs in five minutes”

“What if-”

“Try me. Just once and you’ll see what I’m capable of”

He left the room, leaving you alone huffing and rolling your eyes at the image of him that once was there. But, having no other option, you did as you told.

Downstairs, a couple more guards were standing with Ashton at the door. You noticed a black Range Rover ready to go just outside. One of the guards came toward you, a bag in his hand. You stopped him.

“Is that really necessary?” Ashton raised his brow, and you rolled your eyes “It’s the middle of the night, Irwin. It’s not like I would see much anyway”

The guard looked back at his boss, shrugging. Ashton looked back at you, eyes hard as steel. He didn’t say a word, just turned around and started walking to the car. For a moment, you smiled to yourself for that small victory.

You sat in the back in the middle of two guards, Ashton went up the passenger seat. You frowned. It was not normal for someone that important in this line of work to be in such plain sight. But then again, the glass and the whole car were bulletproof, and the windows were tinted black. And, to top it all off, everyone knew not to fuck up with Lucifer himself if they weren’t ready to face the consequences firsthand. After all, only a fool would try to kill death.

“One of the alarms went off at the club,” Ashton said before you could ask him “Someone tried to break into the offices, killing one of mine.”

That answers the way he was dressed, although you guessed that no matter the occasion, he would dress the part. Still, it didn’t seem like a big deal to wake all of you up in the middle of the night. You’ve walked the hidden halls of the club before, you knew they were well-guarded and with the right security system installed. Ashton surely had the right people to take care of all that. Unless…

“Lauren?” You asked, letting the worry slip in your words.

Ashton barely moved his head, you assumed that hearing the name of his sister come from you must’ve surprised him a bit.

“She’s fine,” He said, dryly “I don’t- She doesn’t work there unless I’m with her”

You nodded. Smart choice from him. Yet, that doesn’t explain why you had to come at this time. But when asked about it, Ashton just gave you the silent treatment until you got there.

Once you were parked, Ashton went out of the car almost immediately, leaving you and his men to follow him.

“Call Clifford,” He ordered to the group of men standing at the door “I don’t care if you have to drag him out of his bed, remind him of the favors he owes me” He turned to another guard “You. I want the list of names of the people that came in yesterday and tonight. I want a background check on their families as well. As for you…”

“Sir, everything was accounted for. Nothing was stolen. Our team is looking for hidden mics and cameras as we speak”

“I don’t fucking care if they took anything or not” He spat “I want to know, how the fuck did they manage to get in the first place?!”

“Sir-”

“No, you listen here” Ashton threatened, just inches away from that man’s face “I’m going in there, and you better pray to your pitiful god that we don’t find anything. If I do, if I even hear about someone who did, you bet your little sorry ass that there will be hell to pay. Starting with you. Don’t make me the villain just because you don’t know how to do your job. Don’t play with me because you will find me, and that will be the last thing you do”

You stood there, shivering. If that was because of the chilly wind or Ashton’s words, you didn’t know, nor were you particularly excited to find out either. Seeing him angry was nothing new to you by now, but it was entirely different seeing his anger aimed at someone else.

Ashton dismissed his men, turning back on his heel and walking up to you. The two men that were by your side rapidly scurried away, leaving you on your own with the devil.

“Anything you want to tell me, angel?” He asked, eyes set on yours.

“What?” You scoffed “You think I had anything to do with this?”

“All I know is that you randomly appeared at my door less than 36 hours ago with some sob, pathetic story, asking for help. And now people have tried to break in”

You couldn’t help but let out a breathy, insincere laugh. Yet, Ashton remained as serious as ever.

“You’re kidding,” You stated “I’ve broken all ties with my family. You know this. Why else would I ask for your help?”

“Because all Hemmings lie, angel,” Ashton said, taking a step closer to you “That’s all they do. And don’t think for a second I believe every word that comes out of your mouth just because you come here with sad eyes, demanding help. I’ve taken a risk by even considering helping you-”

“Then why did you? Why did you say you were going to do it?”

You asked out of genuine curiosity. If helping you was “such a huge risk” for Ashton, then why did he even accept it in the first place? Still, he gave you nothing with his silence.

His eyes were dark, familiar to the boy you once knew, but at the same time so far away from the memory you once held. It was impossible to get a read on him, to know what he was thinking at any given time. He was just standing there, merely a whisper away from you, yet so distant. He was a man with no conscience, no soul, and no mercy.

“I didn’t lie to you,” You told him after a while “I just want to find my brother”

Ashton contemplated you for a moment “And if I refuse to offer any help?”

“Then I will find someone who will” You lied, knowing that no one but him would be able to help you. But hoping Ashton would believe it enough not to question it “You tell me to go and I’ll leave, right? So I’ll be out of your hair if you’re so scared that I might do something”

Your intention was never to walk away, but you knew exactly what buttons to push to get a reaction out of him. And, sure enough, you didn’t walk even one step before his hand grabbed you by the wrist and turned your body around, chest colliding with his, face to face.

He held your wrist at the level of his eye, watching intently over you, trying to decide whether or not to believe you.

“You’re getting on my last nerve, angel,” He said, quietly but with a hint of a threat lacing his words.

Your eyes shifted due to his proximity, going from that hazel color of his eyes to the pinkness of his lips. You caught yourself at the last second, focusing on the chain that hung from his neck over his chest. But the smirk he gave you let you know that he caught you staring.

“Like anything you see, angel?”

You rolled your eyes “You’re impossible, Irwin”

“Maybe,” He said, a smile present in his voice as he lowered his head and whispered in your ear “But as you said, I’m your only hope”

“I didn’t-”

“SIR!” A man yelled behind you. Both turned toward him “We found something-!”

Suddenly, all you could hear was the sound of a gunshot followed by the thud the guard’s body made when it hit the floor.

Ashton turned around quickly, pushing you behind him as he tried to grab his gun from his pocket. It all happened so quickly, that you didn’t even notice the second shot being fired until Ashton groaned and grabbed the side of his arm.

You acted quickly, grabbing Ashton’s gun from his pocket as you started to fire it in the direction where you assumed the shooter was. You pulled Ashton from the back of his collar, awkwardly maneuvering him to safety while you kept shooting until you hit the back of a building. You pushed Ashton against the wall, watching briefly as he sunk to the ground while you tried to focus.

Most of your body was hidden behind that brick wall, but your periphery gave you enough balance to locate the threat. You watched a shadow run from the roof of the club to the alleyway beside it. The guns from both your parts kept shooting bullets in your direction, neither of them hitting the target.

The shadow then jumped on the hood of a car onto the passenger seat. The sound of the tires burning against the floor hurt your ears, and the headlights lit up as they sped away. And, just like that, they were gone.

Your ears kept ringing while you tried to stabilize your breathing. The beating of your heart was going ten thousand miles per hour as the reality of what just happened sunk in. But, what the hell happened?

“What happened?” You whispered to no one in particular “We were just-”

The dryness of your throat forced you to keep quiet. The truth was, you never experienced cross-fire before. You knew how to shoot a gun because your brothers taught you against your mother’s wishes. You knew the basic steps you needed to follow in case there was a shooting. Yet, this was the first time you shot someone - or against someone - and the fact that you couldn’t tell if the shaking of your hands came from fear or adrenaline disturbed you a little.

“Angel,”

You blinked, seemingly being pulled back to earth with his voice.

Ashton was sitting next to you, panting as his hand covered the side of his upper arm. He looked up at you, but the hatred you once saw in his eyes was now replaced by some sort of mischievous gleam. He was grinning at you.

“Well done,” Was all he said before a hiss escaped his lips.

“Oh my god, Ash” You kneeled by his side “I’m sorry, I-”

“It’s fine,” He said, trying to move “I’m fine, the bullet didn’t even - fuck. It didn’t even hit, barely grazed me-”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the buttons of his jacket and opening them to slide it off.

“Take a guy out for a drink first” He joked as you started to open up his shirt “Although, I can’t say that I mind-”

“For fuck’s sake, Ash. I’m trying to see where the bullet hit you!”

From your position, you couldn’t just shrug off his sleeve. So you grabbed his shoulder and pulled him from the wall, accidentally letting go too early and leaving his head to bounce off the wall by the effect.

“I told you, I’m fi-fiaaagh- The fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Sorry,” You cringed, trying to locate his wound “I can’t see it properly…”

Ashton then swiftly pulled you from your hips into his lap, sitting you properly before he raised his arm and bent it with his hand behind his head.

“Better?” He asked, breathing in deeply from the pain.

You stared at him, perplexed by his actions. But then you shook your head and located the wound, trying your hardest to ignore that you were sitting in Ashton Iriwin’s lap.

His other hand danced over the side of your knee, never touching it, but barely grazing it with his fingertips. His eyes were set on every move you made, never leaving your face. When you noticed it, he smiled at the slight blush that covered your cheeks.

“So,” You said, calmly “Are you going to give me a proper gun now, Irwin?”

“I’ll consider it”

“What? I basically saved your life!”

“You have a poor technique” He shrugged “I can give you some proper points later”

“Proper points?”

Ashton then grabbed his gun from beside you, took out the bullets, and pointed it at you.

“You see this?” He said, “This is how you grabbed the gun, one misfire and you’d be out a finger, angel. You’re lucky my guns are well-calibrated. But we’ll go over that later”

“Sure,” You said, giving him a small laugh in disbelief “Well, you’re lucky that bullet barely left a cut. We- You should go disinfect it before it catches anything”

“I’ll survive then,” Ashton said, lowering his arm and letting it rest on your bent ankle. caressing the skin.

“For now, Irwin”

“Ash,” He said.

“Huh?”

“Earlier you called me “Ash” It’s the first time that I’ve heard it”

“Well, I thought you were dying, so…”

You gave him a small smile that he returned, his fingers still touching your skin as his eyes never left yours.

“We should-” You stammered “We should head back, see if anyone else is injured?”

“So that you could call Peter, “Pete” if he got himself a boo-boo?” You groaned as you rolled your eyes and got off his lap, starting to walk toward the club “I was joking!”

*

Soon, you and Ashton and a couple of guys from his security team were scuttering the roof from where the shadow started to shoot. There was nothing there that could lead them to anything or anyone. It was completely deserted.

“And you’re sure you’ve watched someone run-”

“Yes!” You repeated for the thousandth time, giving them a walkthrough “I saw them appear over here, and then run toward the alleyway. They jumped and got into a car, someone was already waiting there”

Ashton hummed, “We’re going to review the footage, and see if we can trace the license plate or the type of car they were using. That would narrow the list”

“A lot of enemies, Iriwn?”

Ashton shook his head “I don’t think I have anything to do with this, angel”

“What do you mean?”

He walked over to you where the shadow allegedly started shooting. He turned you around and pointed to the two guards that were marking where the two of you had stood before the shooting.

“Tell me when you see it,” He whispered to you.

You scoffed. There was nothing left to see. The man who was supposed to be Ashton is with his back exposed to the shooter while the one representing you was barely in sight. They could’ve easily-

And then it hit you.

They could’ve easily shot Ashton in the back of his neck. But they didn’t.

Ashton was not their target.

You were.

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #suchalonelysunflower #ashton irwin #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #sinners and saints #don’t blame me for what you made me do #Ashton Irwin fanfic #ashton iriwn 5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer ashton #ashton 5sos #5sos fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #ashton Irwin series

[nicksbestie]

I had a brilliant idea for cal the other day but I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask but since you said you needed more cal reqs I got you !!

cal writes a song he's super excited about but nervous to share w the guys so he shares it with you and you encourage him to bring it to the guys bc obviously it's amazing

Moodswings

word count : 1102

warnings : mentions of anxiety

enjoy!

<3

Songwriting is hard.

Writing the song itself is already a challenge, and it only gets harder when you have to gain the approval of other people before you can release it, and then you have the stress and pressure of wondering if other people will like it enough to listen to it, and promote it. It’s a long process that’s incredibly difficult on your mind, especially if you’re writing something vulnerable. And when you’re working with a band and other producers, that’s at least three approving opinions you have to gain. So, it’s pretty nerve wracking to present an idea. 

These were the thoughts going through Calum’s mind as he stared down at the paper he’d been scribbling on for the past few hours, trying to put something together that he would like. All of the other guys had already worked on something amazing, Luke had written one of their singles, “Take My Hand”, Michael had come up with a gut wrenchingly sad but beautiful melody for “Emotions”, and Ashton was in the process of working on “Tears!”. Calum felt like he had to come up with something to match their level of intelligence, and for the first time in a while, he was doubting his lyrical ability. 

Of course, nobody else in the room doubted him. They all knew that Calum had a wonderful mind, and whatever he wanted to produce, it would be great. But they also knew that he got into his own head, way too much sometimes, and it caused a lot of that creative process to grind its gears and get stuck for a while until it came back. And that could last hours, days, weeks, or months for him. They weren’t on a time crunch with this album, but they could tell that Calum felt pressured to push something out at the same speed that they were, and neither of them wanted that to happen. If he pushed himself to get something out quickly, the quality of it wouldn’t be where he wanted it to be, and he wouldn’t be happy with it overall. 

The studio session felt successful for everyone, except Cal. He felt that everyone else had been productive, but he hadn’t. He had helped write on some of the other songs, but nothing really big on his own, and that felt like a major setback for him. Everyone walked out of the studio feeling great except for him, but he attempted to not let it show. However, when he got home to you, he dropped the facade and just wallowed in his feelings for a bit. You weren’t an idiot, walking over to sit next to him on the couch, gently hugging him but not pushing him to talk. 

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here. If not, I’m still here. I love you, and whatever it is, will be okay.”

He softly smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. You could tell it was forced, and softly frowned until he relaxed the mask. He sighed, seeing that you didn’t believe him. Of course, he didn’t expect you to, knowing that you knew him too well, but he gave it a feeble shot anyways. 

“I just feel disappointed in myself.” 

You had a gentle look of sympathy on your face, understanding the feeling all too well.

“Why’s that?” 

He lifted and dropped his shoulders, another sigh escaping his lips as he leaned more into your touch. 

“Everyone else got so much done today, amazing lyrics, really. And I couldn’t get anything good down except a few stanzas. Nothing good enough to present to the rest of them. Nowhere close.”

You hummed, having been with Calum long enough to know the double meaning behind his words. 

“You couldn't get anything done that you liked? Or anything done that you thought everyone else would like? There’s a difference, love.” 

He glared at you, but there was no heat behind it. He knew you’d see straight through his words, understanding and reading between the lines. He knew he’d been caught, but he still acted like he had to think about it before replying. 

“Nothing that I thought everyone else would like. I liked it, though.” 

You smiled, a soft laugh, no cruelty in it, echoing through the room. 

“That’s what I thought, babe. You do this a lot, you psych yourself out, and your lyrical ability is amazing. You believe so lowly in yourself, and I can’t believe it sometimes, because you are so talented. Would you like to show me what you have written?” 

He had a gentle look on his face, not a smile, but not a grimace. He knew it was entirely his choice to show you, you’d never pressure him, and he did want to share it, he was just nervous. So, he pushed those feelings down, and pulled up a photograph of the paper he’d written. You zoomed in, reading the first paragraph words written in Cal’s handwriting. 

I can tell by the look in your eyes

That you don't wanna fight on a Friday night

Livin' my life, lookin' from the outside

I hope you don't mind that I ruined our time

I can tell by the look in your eyes

That you just wanna get on a one-way flight

'Cause you don't ever trust this mind of mine

You're watchin' me lie when I say that I'm fine

Without you

I don't even know myself (Know myself)

Through bloodshot eyes, the sky is fallin'

And I just wanna fuckin' push you away, away (Push you away)

Without you

You looked up at Calum, stopping after the second paragraph, the chorus. He was watching you with nervous eyes. 

“Babe, this is amazing. I see no reason that anyone would ever say this isn’t good. You should absolutely show this to the guys if you love it, okay? I fully believe they’ll love it too.” 

His eyes were showing hope, but his face looked like he didn’t want to believe you. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” 

You were sure, and Calum trusted you with his whole heart. The next studio day, he took your advice, having added another verse, and let the rest of the band see what he’d come up with. And just like you’d said, they loved it. Luke helped him write the bridge, and Ashton tweaked a few things, but Calum got the majority of the writing credits, and it was automatically decided to be on the album bonus tracks, track number fifteen. Everyone was so proud of his writing, and he, finally, believed it as well.

#5sos fluff #5sos fic #5sos angst #5sos #5sos x reader #5sosfam #calum hood x reader #calum hood fanfic #calum hood #calum hood boyfriend #calum hood 5sos #calum hood 5 seconds of summer #calum hood request #calum hood ask #asks with aus #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #calum hood fic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5sos fanfic

[saucymalum]

You said you wanted requests so here I go (you don’t have to write it) can you write an enemies to lover with Ashton (because that’s the best trope for him) where he finally makes y/n cry. And he goes to apologize and admits his feelings…..k bye 💖

What's This? (Consequences of my Actions) A.I

Ashton Irwin x Gn!reader (they/them pronouns)

Word Count: 2.6k

I am so goddamn sorry this took almost a YEAR. I finally made it tho!

I always knew he hated me. He didn’t hide it. He didn’t like that I was “Invading” his friend group. That I was getting along with them. He didn’t like me. It infuriated me how he acted like he was better than me. All I wanted was to be his friend and he didn't give me a chance. I couldn't understand how he could hate me for no reason. So I gave him a reason.

 I tried to annoy him every time I could. He didn’t want me at a party so badly he would text me to not come and I’d arrive early with baked goods. He didn’t like me tweeting about his band so much that he’d intentionally be the only member not following me? I tagged them all in every tweet. I became his hell. Did I hate him? No. But I hated that he treated me like he was better. Like I was insignificant. 

To the fans, I was their biggest fan. I’d cover their newest songs on my Instagram story and take pictures in their merch. Some thought I was even dating one of them, which was almost laughable. I truly loved them all. The party's welcoming environment they created pulled me in as Ashton stood in the corner. His hazel eyes look almost black in this light as he watches my every move. Watching me talk to everybody while he tries to keep up the small talk and savors his lemonade. His eyes left a burning trail down my skin. It became a game for me, how far I could push him.

I’d try to ask him questions in conversations, simply because I knew he didn’t want to talk to me. And that's when my plans started to crumble. I liked the guy. I thought he was fucking funny. Being antagonizing was so much easier when I didn’t know him. I wanted to be the asshole's friend. I kept trying to keep up my game, but I failed every time unless it was social media. It’s easy to fake things there. So I did.

I ignored my emotions, my guilt, and the rising feeling that I refused to acknowledge. I posted pictures of myself at their concerts; I posted their songs on my story. I was a good friend, but I avoided Ashton. And at the end of the day, it didn't matter much to him if I showed up to the parties. I saw the glares he’d given me that made me want to laugh in his face. I missed not knowing him.

I started showing up early at parties and sneaking out early. I’d avoid Ash even if I felt his eyes burn me. It seemed fine until he caught on. 

I sat at their album release celebration, an hour in, and I zoned out and stared at a wall. People passed by and I sat drinking my now warm beverage. Blurs of people, laughing, smiling, dancing, pass around me. I can't believe I did this to myself. 

The seat beside me dips and I look to see Luke looking expectantly at me. One eyebrow raised slightly and his blonde hair growing out from the bleach.

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?" I laugh nervously.

He sits there, giving no answer, knowing i’ll break. And I do. 

I spilled everything, beginning to now. Frustration pours out every word as the temperature in the room seems to rise. I don't want to be here anymore.

Luke sighs and I feel shame replace my relief.

"Why would you do this to yourself Y/N?"

"I DIDN'T WANT THIS! I JUST WANTED THE STUPID LITTLE PRICK TO BE HUMBLED. Or at least annoyed enough to stop being a dick." my breaths shake for a second "In no universe was THIS my plan. "

I fall into the back of the couch. "What do I do?" 

"Talk to him."

I groan, "I forgot you're a 'communication is key' person" 

Luke lightly shoves me, "So are you until you get scared and run away. You can't run away this time. Avoiding him means avoiding us and you know that." 

“I know.” 

“So what do you think you need to do?” He asks softly.

I take in a deep breath and straighten my back. My eyes find Ashton chatting up so girl in the corner. I let my feet guide me to him and without a word, too scared to speak, I grab his jacket and pull him out onto the back porch.

“What the Fuck, Y/N?”

“What is your problem with me? You refuse to talk to me, You hate my presence, and you constantly make an effort to show me you think im less than you. Why?”

“Maybe because you do shit like you just did without thinking about how it’d affect me.”

I scoff, “What a cop-out. You’ve hated me from the beginning. I want you to tell me why.”

He creeps further into my personal space. His height becomes increasingly harder to ignore when he looms over me. His breath fans over my face, and I want to cringe at the warmth.

“Has it ever occurred to you in your self-centered little head that not everyone likes you? You’re not some god or goddess Y/n. You grate my veins and you enjoy it. You TRIED to annoy me and you’re confused why I don’t like you? How into yourself can you be?”

Electricity pricks at my skin and the back of my eyes burn, “Don’t act like you didn’t hate me from the get-go Ashton. I know what it feels like to be disliked.”

“Then why does it bother you so much if i don’t like you? Huh? Sweet little Y/N just wants to be loved and cherished by everyone, isn't that right?” My breath shakes as the back of his hand brushes against my cheek. “Well, life doesn’t work like that. Some people will hate your grating voice and some people can't STAND your GODDAWFUL laugh. So get over it and be a fucking adult about it. Stop being a little baby.” 

WARNING: description of a panic attack, stay safe and skip to the end of the trigger warning <3

He steps back and I quickly escape the cold night that suffocates me. My throat closes in on itself and my eyes water.  I can’t breathe, I can’t BREATHE. I try to drag in breaths, but the effort is beyond fruitless. Through my watery eyes and past the blur and dizziness, I walk to the bathroom. I need to escape. I need to GET OUT. Everyone hates me, such a stupid baby who can’t even handle a man not liking them. How pathetic can you get? Everyone's eyes are on me. They’re laughing at me, aren’t they? I bet they are. The bathroom door’s soft close sounds like a thunderclap in my ears but that thunderclap is the most comfort I have felt since Luke and my conversation ended. My ears are ringing. I don’t know what to do. 

I sink to the floor, and my back hits the cold tile, shocking my skin through my thin shirt.I've prepared for this. Ok, just find something you can smell. Ok, I can that. My mind wanders into my negative talk but quickly it snaps to the smell of the Febreze air freshener going off. 

Good, good. One down four more to go, I can see the design in the ceiling, that's another. 

My lungs slowly feel less pressure on them, not a semi-truck but maybe a minivan. I can hear yelling outside the door, maybe someone knocking, it's so hard to hear when I feel like I'm underwater. 

I can feel the tile under my fingertips, the cold feels nice against my skin, the hot trails the tears leave sting and I almost want to press my face into the floor to cool them. 

The sweet drink still lingers on my tongue. Good, I got all five. Now breathe. It's so hard when the hiccups interrupt but I practice these exercises every day. 

The weight on my chest slowly releases and the tears go dry. I'm left exhausted.  I want to go home. The room goes steady and I slowly stand on shaky legs.

I avoid the mirror as I cool my hands in the water flowing in the sink and press them to my cheeks.

WARNING OVER: Stay safe, loves.

The yelling outside gets clearer when I open the door, the house has been cleared away of any guests and the pounding of my heart gets a bit louder. Luke stands in front of Ashton yelling at him, words I barely have the energy to decipher. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you right now, Ashton? You are a grown-ass man. What the hell would possess you to think talking to someone like that was ok?” Luke stands next to Sierra. She shoots a disappointed look at Ashton, but he ducks away. 

“Oh don’t give me the disappointed parent act.” He scoffs.

Ashton walks over to the couch, closer to me, and I press my back closer to the bathroom door that I closed.

Luke chases after him, “Well, if you didn’t act so immature, maybe I wouldn’t have to Ash! What were you thinking!? You barely know her and you already decided to chase her away?”

“If she didn’t want me to hate her maybe she could have tried to not do everything I hate on purpose.”

“You gave them a panic attack! Nothing they did made them deserve that. We just want you to explain. Can you please just let us understand?”

Ashton pauses putting on his jacket and sighs, “I’m scared, ok?” 

“Of what?” 

“Luke, they remind me of Lacy, and I can’t get hurt like that again.” He turns around and his eyes meet mine. Shock and remorse fill his eyes, but he brushes past me and bolts for the door.

I take a shaky breath in and look at Luke and Sierra. “Luke who’s Lacy?”

We sat in the living room of Luke and Sierra’s house as they tried to explain it in the most delicate way. But really, how can you explain to someone that they reminded a person they considered an enemy of their dead girlfriend? That they reminded someone they thought hated them of someone they were in love with? I didn't think I could cry anymore. I was wrong. I reminded Ashton of a love that was ripped away from him. I hurt him by being around him.

I wanted to be mad at him. Hurt him for punishing me for something I had no part in but I couldn't. 

I just wanted to go home and never leave.

And that's what I did. I stayed in bed, emotionally exhausted and numb. My self-destruction hit me like a brick, canceling my therapy appointment for the next day and turning my phone to do not disturb.

Ashton’s POV:

No one had heard from Y/N in almost a week. Seeing their face when I left made me feel like I swallowed a brick. A part of me felt glad that finally, FINALLY, they would feel just a sliver of what they've made me feel for months.

But the guilt…the guilt at that thought overwhelmed my brain quickly after. What kind of person would that make me to want someone to hurt the way I have? Even if it was someone who hurt that doesn't make it ok. 

This guilt led me straight to Y/N's front door. My hand hovered over the door. What was my plan when I got here? I don't think I even gave myself time to make one. 

Before I could attempt to knock on the door, it swung open with the image of Y/N's dark-circled eyes staring shocked at me. 

"Oh Jesus!" they exclaim and hide behind the door a bit. The wrinkles in the pajama shirt clinging to parts of their body. A small smile creeps into the corner of my mouth at seeing them again. To see that they were at least still alive and kicking.

"I'm so sorry to just show up like this!" I step away from the door, giving them some space. "I want to check in."

Their bottom lip moves between their teeth as they chew at the loose skin. A mental debate wars on behind their eyes, no doubt wondering who asked me to come here.

"Who blackmailed you?" they ask.

A hesitant silence floats between us as I wonder if it'd be wrong to tell the truth.

A sigh passes my lips. "I felt bad."

Their eyes quickly widen again as they forget the effort to hide themself behind the door. They rush the 2 feet to me and place a hand on my arm.

"No! No, you have nothing to be sorry for! I was a goddamn asshole, Ashton! Why didn't you slap me earlier? I was so arrogant and antagonistic towards you. I can't believe it. You did nothing but try to avoid me because you were hurting and I made it ten times harder."

"Y/N, I said horrible things to you. I felt like a villain. I never want to feel like that again. I am so sorry for talking to you like that." My shoulders sink in a subconscious effort to get down to their level. To look them straight in the eyes. To maybe show them all the emotions that I felt the moment I left Luke's house."

Y/N sighs and releases my arm from their grip. They step out of the doorway, a silent invitation. Luckily, I'm not a vampire.

"Ash, what you said was true. I can't fault you for saying the truth."

How could they think that? That anything I said was true, calling them such stupid names in order to belittle them and make them feel small? What have I done?

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, I said to you was true. Yes, I was hurt and yes how you treated me didn’t help but none of it was true and keep telling you otherwise until you believe.”

They look away from my eyes to the ground. “Well, that's gonna take a while since I thought all of those things about myself long before you told me.” 

A sour feeling rises in my stomach. Everything in me wants to protect them.

“Well, I’ll be here every time you doubt me.”

They scoff, “Like you’ll call me at 3 in the morning.”

“Who says I won’t” I shrug.

Their eyes glaze over with tears as they look hopefully into mine, “This isn’t how I wanted things to go, you know. I didn’t want us to hate each other.”

They turn away from me, busying themselves in front of their kettle. “I wanted to stop that stupid game months ago.” 

My eyebrows wrinkle quizzically, “Then why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t admit to myself I had feelings for you.”

Their shoulders tense quickly and the spin around to me, “Not that I’m pressuring you at all, I swear. I just-I just had to let you know I didn’t want to hurt you like this.”

“But you did mean to hurt me?”

“I thought you saw me as less than you. I wanted to prove you wrong. Now I know I was the one in the wrong.”

“Y/N I thought you were amazing. I was stupid and thought if I avoided you I wouldn’t fall for you.” I step forward into their space, “I didn’t think I could handle it.”

“Did you?” 

The space between our bodies shrinks til we’re breathing the same air.

“Yes,” I whisper, my hand gravitating to their hip.

“And can you handle it?” 

“With you, I think I’ll be more than fine.”

#5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin blurb #ashton fletcher irwin #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin x reader #5sos #5sos angst #5 second of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer fic

[itisannak]

Wicked Game (Mafia Boss!Calum x Florist!Y/N Smut/Angst)

Summary: Florist (Y/N) has no business with a man like Calum. (Smut / Unprotected Sex / Penetrative Sex / Spanking / Use of Sex Toys / Dom-Sub Dynamic / Semi-Public Sex / Mention of Threesome / Oral; Male Receiving) (T.W: Violence / Mention of Drugs / Injuries / Kidnapping / Cheating / Hospital Stay / Guns / Mention of Surgery) This is an NSFW fic. If you feel uncomfortable reading content like this one, please, scroll through the chapters to find something else you might like. I have been writing this one since September. Please, show it some love. (Words: 26k) (Request)

My Masterlist / My Ko-Fi

I never planned for my life to take this turn. All of the people who have ever met me would tell you I am nothing but a goody-two-shoes, the girl next door. And within a night, I found myself dating the King of California. Well, not exactly the literal King of California. Maybe the King of Underworld California. It doesn't really make a difference what metaphor I use to describe him. The essence is Calum is dangerous, and I have no business being with him.

But there I am, picked up from my job at the flower shop by 3 of Calum's men, in the back of a car that reminds me of the ones we see in movies driving a fictional US President. If I thought the car is extremely secure, the house is an absolute fort, guarded on every angle by both tech and manpower. The bodyguard guides me to where Calum is sitting, drinking a small americano, as he does every evening. I leave the bouquet of tulips before him I bought for today, getting his attention off his journal.

"There she is. A bit late today, weren't you?" He asks, shutting his journal and placing it on the end table. "We were ambushed on the way home." I shrug, watching him as he snaps up from his armchair. "By who? Travis!" He shouts the guard in, gritting his teeth. I laugh at his response, making him narrow his eyes at me. "Why must you be such a brat?" He asks me, turning to look at me with a stern look. "Because it's fun. If you could see you now, you would understand." I reply, taking a seat on his armchair. I drape my legs over the armrest, as Travis enters the room. "Boss, is everything OK?" He asks; Calum has everyone standing on one foot, ready to kill or die for him. "You can go, Travis..." Calum says in all seriousness, eyes still fixed on me. "You sure, boss?" Travis asks. I stare back at Calum, still keeping my cocky smirk. "Leave." He grunts, walking up to me. He stands just before me, looking down on me with his jaw locked tightly. "You shouldn't be that abrupt with your people." I tease him, earning a huff. "You are the one to talk about shoulds and shouldn'ts." "What is that supposed to mean?" "It means that you keep on defying me. You keep on toying with me, teasing me. You keep on messing with me. And you should not be talking about what I should be doing and whatnot." He grips my chin, making me look at him. "Oh, I am not supposed to defy you? Oh no, I must have thought the opposite." I tease. Calum just groans at me, leaning down to pick me up over his shoulder.

"Cal, no..." I whimper, but his hand lands on my ass. "No what?" He asks me, carrying me out of the room, not caring that his people are watching us. "Leave me on my feet. I can walk." I protest but his hand meets my ass again. "There you go again. Trying to boss me around. You are putting yourself in a very tough spot." He warns me. "Maybe I want to be in a tough spot." I sass and he chuckles, but a dark, twisted chuckle, one that promises me along, eventful night. "Oh, princess... You don't want that." He fakes a coo, heading straight to our bedroom.

I am thrown onto the bed, my body bouncing on the mattress before I lay flat on my back. "Don't make a single move." Calum orders, holding a finger up warningly. "What happens if I do?" I ask, almost purring. "You don't want to find out. You don't want me taking all my anger out on you..." He warns, heading towards the dresser. He fumbles with the drawers a bit, picking a few things up before he moves to our bed. He throws the stuff beside me, kneeling on the mattress and hovering over me. "I need you out of that outfit." He stares, moving his fingers to undo my jeans, rolling them down my legs. He takes a moment to inspect my underwear, humming pleased at my choice for the day. "Not bad. Does your boss know that underneath your casual little outfit, you wear lingerie that's worth a month's paycheck?" He asks me, running his fingers under the elastic of my panties. "Only you know that information." I reply and he chuckles. He grips my chin, bringing my face closer to his. "It better stay that way." He says, pulling me in for a kiss. My breath is caught in the back of my throat as his tongue pries my lips apart, his hand pinning my wrist above my head. "Not fair." I protest breathlessly once he parts from my lips, reaching for something besides us. "And I am just getting started..." He smirks, holding the pair of leather bounds up in the air, showing me what awaits me in a few seconds. "We need to get that polo shirt off... I don't think I hate any other cloth on you as much as I hate this." He groans, picking the hem of my blouse. "You know, I could shred it to pieces..." He groans, throwing it aside. Calum is not so fond of me working, especially in a flower shop and this is not the first time he has voiced it. "I have another one. And my boss will just give me another and keep money from my paycheck." I reply and he hums. "I think I should have a word with your boss." "No intervening, remember?" I remind him, looking at him in seriousness. "Oh, kitten... You are so cute trying to be all serious... Lovely..." He coos at me, reaching behind my back to unhook my bra. Without a single warning, he flips me onto my belly, grabbing my wrist and fixing them against my lower back.

"There ... So pretty." He secures the leather bounds around my wrists, prohibiting me from being able to touch him. "And now, let's see what else I brought for you..." He says in a sadistic tone, cupping the left side of my face in his hand. He holds up a pair of nipple clamps, jiggling them effusively before me. "I think you know where those go, don't you, angel?" He asks me, his tone patronizing. "I do." I reply, knowing that the question - though rhetorical-, needs an answer. "Good girl..." He flips me again on my back, cupping my breast before his fingers pinch my nipple to roughen it. "And here go the goosebumps..." He comments, pleased by how my skin is covered with them. "Wait till you see what's next... It's my favorite thing to put in you... Well, second favorite to my cock..." He states, holding a princess butt plug before me. "Of course, I wouldn't put that on your pretty little butt all by itself..." He nods towards the bottle of lube resting on the mattress. "I...I haven't prepped for anal..." I gulp thickly. "Oh, I know, sweetheart...I am not going to fuck your ass... Not today. I just like the way the gem sparkles every time I spank your ass." "I am going to get spanked? But why?" I ask, almost whining. "You are asking? Really?" He asks me, cocking an eyebrow. "You are a pain in my ass, little brat...I might as well be a pain in yours..." He squirts a generous amount of lube onto the buttplug. "Now, flat over my knee..." He pats his lap, inviting me to drape myself over it. I crawl closer to him, laying across his thighs and waiting for my punishment. "It's not fair." I grumble and he chuckles. "It's not fair when you talk back to me. Or when you scare me. Or when you don't listen to me." He counters, gripping onto my ass, before he squeezes on it roughly, spreading my ass cheeks to squirt more lube. "Like a good girl, you are going to take it, aren't you?" He asks, toying the toy around my entrance. I nod my head and squeeze my eyes shut as he pushes the plug in. I whimper as I stretch around the toy, despite the lube making it relatively easy to slide in.

"Sweetheart, I hate to see you like that..." Of course, he is mocking me as he presses on the toy to ensure it is well-fitted. "And now the fun can begin." He hums, stroking his hand softly down my ass, raising goosebumps on my skin. Of course, it is fun for him, but if I am honest, I really like it when he is spanking me. There is something liberating in him treating me like that, something I cannot explain. The first strike never hurts, he knows that, so he is teasing me to pry the element of surprise with that first hit. He smoothly fondles my ass, in an almost sweet way that makes me lower my defenses. And then his hand meets my bum, producing a loud slapping sound. My first instinct is to gasp, but I manage to swallow it, not giving him what he wants. And that seems to make him more desperate to get a reaction, bolder and more eager to pry what he craves from me. "You are trying to prove you are a big, brave girl?" He asks me, landing his hand repeatedly on the same spot. "Well, it's not going to be too good for your ass... It's best if you surrender, princess..." He warns me, squeezing my ass after slapping it.

Despite it, I remain with my lips pressed together, enjoying his desperation. "Shit, princess... Don't make me bring a paddle over here..." I know this is his last resort, but my ass is already sore and I do not want to add further strain to it. With the next slap, I let go of holding back and release a whimper, squirming in position over his lap. "There we go... It's not that hard to break you after all..." He cocks, landing his hand again on the same spot, which is now pulsing and becoming hotter.

The last spank finds me in tears, sniffling as he rubs his hand over my red cheeks. "Look at what you've done to my hand..." He growls, showing me his red palm. "I am sorry..." I sniffle, biting my pouty bottom lip. "You should be... If you weren't so insubordinate, I wouldn't have to spank you..." He sounds so twisted, only a narcissist would accept an apology for a sore palm after spanking someone raw. "Disgusting." He rubs my sex, gathering my wetness with his fingers. "Only the most desperate whore would get so wet from being spanked... Disgusting." He traces a lone finger around my clit. I am not sure if not replying will work in my favor, but I am willing to find out since I am so shaken that I can't look for a response. Not that I am trying too hard. "I am tired. Time for you to put in some effort." He says coldly, moving me aside as if I am made of silicon flesh and I am nothing to him. He lays on his back, only undoing his pants and lowering his briefs, freeing his cock before bringing his hands behind his head and averting his gaze from me. With cheeks still stained from my tears, and my hands now sore by the bounds around my wrists, I can only crawl on my knees to get to him. Almost falling to the front, I straddle my leg over his waist. "No. Turn around. I don't want to see your face while you take my cock." He barks the command. My heart aches by the comment; it is honestly worse than any other punishment this far. He always says he loves nothing more than to watch my face as I cum around him. And now he is so upset that he doesn't even want to see my face. My bottom lip quivers as he still doesn't bring his eyes to my figure. "Calum, please." I sniffle, but I only receive dismissal from my lover. "Daddy, please. I don't like this anymore." He perks up a little, just enough to let me know I can stop it with a word. "Enough. No. Untie me." I say, my cheeks fired up. Calum sits up and rushingly comes to aid me out of my bondage, quickly undoing the buckles of my bounds. "Shit, are you ok?" He asks me, shifting back to the worried look he had a little while ago in the lounging room. "Yep." I smirk, before laying on my back and pulling him by the neck on top of me. The smirk does not fade even when Calum gasps and looks at me sternly. "You little minx..." He groans as I wrap my fingers around his cock and stroke him. He does not say much else, not until he is inside me with a strong buck of his hips on mine.

"How much longer do you think you will be taking advantage of the sweetspot I have for you?" He asks me, slowly thrusting his full length inside me. "For as long as I can, daddy..." I say after a much-held-back moan. Calum groans again, an angry yet playful sound coming from his throat before he leans closer to me and captures my lips in a kiss. His hips move rhythmically to push his cock inside me; sex with Calum at this point means he knows my body like the back of his hand, he knows what I need without even having to hear me say it. My hand moves to his cheek, my nails gripping onto his cheek as he deepens his thrust, hitting that spot inside me that I like so much when it is given attention. There is a bitter yet sweet taste in his kiss, a mixture of tobacco and strong coffee that is otherwise cloying and repulsive, but on Calum's kiss is homely and aphrodisiac. He is the opposite of what is usually my type, when I met him I was sure I would not fall for him. But fate laughed at my face and in seconds, I was swept off my feet. "You are even tighter with that plug inside you." Calum only parts from my lips to comment. I can feel my sex pulse around him as he fucks me, his cock and the toy making me feel full to the brim. It is not the first time, and certainly won't be the last. It is exciting to not know what he is going to add next time to our sex life, it keeps me on my toes. "You still smell like flowers." He moves from my lips, lowering his nose to the curve my neck meeting my shoulder makes. "Might be because I work at a flower shop." I tease him, bending my leg to wrap around his waist. "Don't fucking remind me." He scoffs, grazing his teeth over the tender flesh of my neck. "You fuck me harder when I do." I say cockily. "Careful what you wish for..." He warns me. I arch my back and move my head to free more space for him, allow him to explore my neck, again, anew.

But Calum seems fixated on something else, something I do not realize until I feel him pull on the chain that connects the two nipple clamps. Up to this point, it was a numb feeling, something lost in the background, not hurting, but present enough to exist as a secondary feeling. And now it stings; my nipples are pulled and the sweet ache spreads from them throughout my body, the course of the electricity that roots from it raising goosebumps on its passage. And then his hips slam on mine and glue there, solidifying with my body for a second to oblige me to feel his full glory. I grunt, then sigh, my eyes rolling back as a response to all the stimuli. "I told you to be careful what you wish for." He lets go of the chain, snaking an arm down my body and prying my thighs open to the max. "Cal... Cal..." I whimper, feeling the bed rattle underneath us. "You can't keep your mouth shut, can you sweetheart?" He asks me, his grip on my hips tightening. It hurts where he touches me for a moment, his thumb surely making a bruise on my skin. And the pain subsides and just adds fuel to overstimulation. I can't put my finger exactly where it feels best, I can't decide which of the things he does to my body makes me feel the most divine. "Calum, please. I need to cum." My body craves to ease an itch deep inside me, it craves to gain the release it deserves. It's too soon, I know it is too soon and that we have barely started, but the pain from spanking and the presence of the toy still inside me make me unable to avoid the impending high. "So desperate, I love it." He groans, angling up his thrusts before he pulls me in for a kiss. He is rougher than he was in the first kiss, now biting and pulling on my bottom lip as he watches how my face twists the closer I get to my orgasm. All I can do is whimper and moan, bucking my hips up as much as I can, to get more of him, to feed the last bit of my orgasm. "Fuck... Fuck. I am cumming." I cry out, my mouth falling agape and my head tilting back. My eyes shut and in my high, I can only hear how rushed and deep he is breathing. It is enough for my head to build the image of him, with his face tensed and his eyes dark with lust, sweating as he pounds inside me relentlessly. "Not inside me." I manage to murmur, causing Calum to grip my face and force me to look at him. "Don't want my seed? Don't want me to breed you, put a child in your womb?" He asks, hissing his words at me. "Not inside me." I repeat, still not having caught my breath. "Fuck it, then." He swiftly pulls out of me, nudging my hip to flip me on my chest. His hand lands on my ass once more, right on the red spot he made just before. I flinch and raise my bum in the air, turning my head to the side to look at Calum jacking off. He strokes his cock fast, groaning as his hand wraps around his throbbing member. "Shit, princess. Look what you are doing to me." He groans. His body is jolting, his chest rising and falling more and more with each stroke he gives himself. "Fuck, (Y/N), baby." He moans, shooting his cum on my ass. Breathlessly, he falls onto the bed, sprawling himself out on the mattress before inviting me to rest on his chest.

"Are you alright?" He asks me and I hum. "I am. You?" I ask back, placing my head over his heart. "I am fine. We need to get those toys off of you. And wash you up, and put some lotion on your butt. And you need to eat something." He lists and I sigh. "Can you relax for a little bit? You'll take care of me in a while." I say lazily, craving a moment of solitude with him. "Did I hurt you much?" He asks, taking my hand in his and locking our fingers together. "No, I am ok. I like it when you are a little rough on me." I reply, pressing my lips on his chest. He is not a man of many words, especially not too talkative after sex, so our conversation end here for now, and we just sink into the beautiful silence.

I take a whiff of his scent, the rich smell of smoke mixing with his cologne makes me salivate, almost tasting him on my tongue. He smells like my Calum, a side of him I am the only privileged person to enjoy. He is soft with me; I know the latest experience does not really show it off, but he is soft with me, loving. I press my ear more on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and shutting my eyes, enjoying the beautiful, calming sound.

"This might hurt you a bit..." Calum warns me. Kneeling on the mattress, I am before his gaze, with him examining me for any wounds or bruises caused by him. "Not my first time in a rodeo." I chuckle and Calum looks at me in all seriousness. "Seriously. These ones bite back." He states and I roll my eyes at him. "Seriously, we have used these before. Just pull them." I groan and Calum huffs. "One of these days you are going to regret the sass." He pulls the nipple clamp, a little too abruptly, almost as if he does it for revenge, to pay me back for my cockiness. I shudder and let out a scream, feeling the pinch move from my nipple and tear through my body. My back arches and I can feel my eyes water, "Told you you were going to regret it, princess." He says sadistically, waiting for me to calm down before he pulls off the other clamp, in just the same way as the first one. "Ssh, princess... Thought this wasn't your first rodeo." He scoffs, passing his thumb over my nipple, before leaning in to kiss it softly. "Look at it, all rough and raw..." He fake-pouts, swirling his tongue around it. "Thought we were going in for a bath." I protest and he hums. "We are... You are lucky I already had it drawn for us." He pecks on my temple, before picking me up over his shoulder. I am actually thankful this time around; I am too tired to walk, even the short distance to the master bathroom.

"I dropped a bath bomb in... A purple one." He comments, setting me inside the warm, steaming water. I take a deep breath of the vapors, instantly recognizing the dominant smell of lavender, and the faint notes of aloe filling the bathroom. Calum joins in on the other side of the extra-large bathtub, sinking up to his diaphragm in the hot water. "Might fall asleep..." I mumble, relaxing my head back. Calum hums, but it comes out as a throaty groan, which anyone who does not know him would take as angry. But Calum is on the very verge of relaxation. "You need to eat first. Then you can sleep for as long as you want." He says sternly, placing his hands on the edges of the bathtub. His fingers tap softly on the white porcelain, and I can see his chest move as he breathes calmly but deeply. "I am not really that hungry." I comment, sliding my body down the tub and submerging in the water. I come out instantly, already feeling relieved of the tension in my head and shoulders. I am growing tired by the minute and my body is becoming tenser when it should be relaxed. "I didn't ask if you are hungry. I merely announced you are eating." He comes back once my head is out of the water. "I have kinda forgotten how bossy you are." "You have forgotten? Wow, I am way more lenient than I should be with you, then." "We know that you can't be strict with me." I roll my eyes and he hums. "Hm, and you keep abusing that." He replies as I stretch my leg out towards him. "How is your ass, princess?" He asks me, grazing his fingers over my calf. "It stings. I cannot sit on it, I am hovering here..." I reply and Calum smirks. "That should teach you not to scare me again." "Did I learn all the other times?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow at him. "You know, for a cute, little flower girl, you are way too sassy." "I mean, roses have thorns, they are still cute and little." "Didn't you say you were sleepy?" He asks, cocking an eyebrow at me. "Very." I hum, resting my head on my forearms on the brim of the bathtub.

--

It has been a relatively quiet day at the flower shop, expected for the Wednesday morning. We usually don't get a lot of traffic in the mornings, nor on weekdays, so I focus on spritzing the potted plants with extra care. It is my happy place here, I know that most people don't find this job exciting or interesting, but I do. It fills me, it helps me keep my mind space.

I hear the chiming of the little bell hanging on the door, signaling me the presence of a client. I leave the spritzer by the last plant I water, wiping my hands on my apron before I head to the front.

My eyes land on the client and a smile erupts on my face, my gaze grazing my boyfriend's frame. "Good morning. How can I help you today?" I ask, biting the inside of my cheek. "Good morning. I need flowers. Lots of them." He replies, winking at me. "For a special someone, I assume." I comment and he hums. "For a special pain in my ass." He replies as we walk towards the fridge we keep the cut flowers to keep them fresh and crisp. "What flowers are we thinking of?" I ask with a cocked eyebrow. "Um, roses, maybe. All the roses you have." Calum stretches the words, making me cock my eyebrow even higher. "What color are we talking about?" "All the colors you have. All the roses you have. Your sunflowers too, she likes sunflowers." I roll my eyes at him but his smirk grows even bigger. "You must love that pain in the ass too much." "Fortunately for her, I do. I am making her a steak dinner tonight, with a very expensive, very mature red wine. And I am filling the house with flowers for her, she really likes them, so I like everything that makes her happy." "She will be home on time." "And she better wears something nice." He comments, leaning closer to me. I can't help but smile; he is too sweet for my own good. "Did I forget an anniversary again?" I ask and he shakes his head at me. "No, you didn't. Don't worry." He assures me. "Did you do something I should worry about?" I ask with my eyebrows furrowed together. "You have to stop being so vague." He pecks on my forehead and I groan. "Come on, Calum. Just tell me the reason behind all this royal treatment." "I just think it has been an awfully long time since we had a date night." He explains and I coo. "Just that?" "Mhm... Now, the flowers." He points at the glass door, taking a step away from me. "All the roses, in every color I have them, and all the sunflowers... Wonder where you'll keep it..." I mumble and he chuckles. "Do you have any orchids too?" He asks and I throw my head back in surrender. "It'll take me forever to wrap them." "Good thing then that I have nothing better to do all day but watch you." He winks at me before I open the glass door to take the vases with the flowers out.

I expected the house already filled with flowers, buds, and petals scattered all around, but the house seems tidy and clean, as it was when I left it this morning. "Mr. Hood said you should head in to get ready. Dinner will be ready in ninety minutes." Travis says, stopping me from walking further than the entrance hall. "Where is Calum?" I ask the man before me. He could be considered Calum's right hand, the head bitch of the minions Calum presides over. Travis does not reply to my inquiry, only stares at me and shows me the way to the bedroom. I sigh, knowing it is futile to insist; he won't tell me because Calum told him not to. "Fine! Fine!" I curse under my breath, holding my hands up in surrender. I make a beeline to the bedroom, and Travis follows right behind me, to ensure I won't disobey his advice. As if I would sprint around the house in search of Calum. Naive me would have done it at the start of the relationship. But now I know that if Calum doesn't want to be found, no one will ever find him.

Contrasting the state of the hallway, the room is decorated with flowers, mostly red, pink, and white roses. Petals form a little circle on top of our bed, framing a big gift box that rests in the middle of it. I sigh; spoiled once more, from head to toe. Without even having to open the box, I know it contains an outfit for the night. At this point, I know Calum has a better taste in fashion than I do. I undo the ribbon and lift the lid of the box, revealing a beautiful, emerald green, silk dress, much fitting his Slytherin aesthetic. I take the dress out of the box, laying it atop the duvet. Pursing my lips, I observe the garment, trying to come up with a complementary look for it. Off to the shower fast, then I can worry about looking good for his eyes only.

"...I don't fucking care. Are you all so incompetent that you can't even give me a night off? Are you all such pussies that you can't follow clear instructions?" "Boss..." "Don't fucking use any excuses. Since you are all idiots, I'll tell you what to do once more. Break his fucking kneecaps. Both of them. And tell him next time he fucks me over, he will sleep with the fish." "Calum..." I peek through the door. I am not sure what the issue is, and I am not sure who he is talking about, but waiting outside the door is not an option for me anymore. I've heard too much, way too much for me to still be comfortable with who I am dining with. I want him to change back to the loving, calm boyfriend he has been all day, not this ruthless, lawless man that stands amid a flower-covered room. Calum perks up. From the snarling, spine-chilling look he has been giving his minions, he changes to a softer, but still too tense expression. "Go. Don't bother me again tonight." He barks at his men, who one by one make their way outside the room. None of them looks incompetent, none of them would strike anyone as a softie, it's not the word that would come to mind upon seeing them, in fact, quite the opposite. Yet, they almost look like scolded puppies walking out of the room, passing by me.

"Let me take a look at you, baby." He sighs; he is trying his best to calm down. Sometimes it is scary how he can turn this side off so quickly. I walk into the room, standing awkwardly before his eyes, and looking at the floor in uneasiness. I notice 2 sunflower inflorescences by my foot, resting on the floor among a myriad of petals and buds. My eyes decide to focus on them, at least until I am contented enough to look my person in the eye. "You look stunning once more tonight, my love." He says sweetly, bringing his hand to touch my cheek softly. "Thank you." I say in almost a whisper, still staring at the petals of the sunflower. Calum sighs in what I recognize is regret, and my eyes flicker for a second to his face. "I am sorry they ruined the night." He tilts his head to meet my gaze. I stay silent, lacing my fingers together. "Fuck... How much of it did you hear?" He asks me, running a hand down his face. "Enough to remember who you are when you are not my sweet, caring boyfriend." I reply, finally lifting my head to look at him fully. "I am still your sweet, caring boyfriend." He takes my hands in his, bringing them to his lips. He leaves soft pecks on my knuckles, peeking at me through his lashes. "Who breaks peoples' kneecaps in his spare time." I mumble under my breath, earning a chuckle from Calum. "Did you see me do it?" He asks me and I huff, closing my eyes to bring my nerves down. "Can we not talk about this tonight?" I ask and Calum nods his head eagerly. "Gladly. Dinner is set outside. Shall we, pretty?" He asks me, holding his arm out to link mine with his. I loop my arm through his, deciding to leave the overheard conversation in this room, and step outside for a romantic star-lit dinner with the person I love.

Vases next to vases filled with flowers are on the floor of the balcony, and in the center of the roomy deck standing a carefully set table. Calum pulls the chair out for me, inviting me to take a comfortable seat. "You did all that?" I ask, despite knowing he had help, too much help. "Most of it. I bought the flowers from a very beautiful lady." He winks at me, taking his seat across from mine. "Should I be jealous?" I ask with a playful squint in my eyes. "No one compares to you, baby." He replies, reaching to raise the bell of my plate. The food is still steaming, the heat being trapped inside by the inox utensil. "This looks delicious." I take in the details of the plate. A beautifully filleted steak, medium cooked with a sprinkle of kosher salt and a side of green salad. Definitely Calum's creation, from head to toe simple and clear. "And the wine..." He stands up to pour me some of the rich red wine. I can smell the aroma even without picking up the glass. "Are you trying to court me, Mr. Hood?" I ask and he smirks at me. "Isn't that already obvious, Ms. (Y/L/N)? I added a slice of parmesan cheese on your plate, I know you like it with your leafy greens." He retreats to his seat; I have only now calmed down enough to be able to observe him tonight. He is wearing that white shirt I got him on our last anniversary, with the snake embroidery on the collar, and his usual pair of black slacks, which he probably owns a dozen pairs of. "You know, you look mighty fine tonight." I comment, picking up my glass and reaching toward him. He mimics my move and clings his glass to mine. "I had to match how gorgeous you are, didn't I?" He asks me and I roll my eyes at him playfully. "What should we toast to?" I ask him and he takes a moment to think about it. "What about how gorgeous my love looks in that dress under the starlight?" He asks me and I can feel a flush creep up my neck and onto my cheeks. "I can't say it is a bad reason to drink at." I cling my glass with his again, before pulling it back and taking a sip. I moan at the first swig, the smokiness of the aging mixing with the sweetness of the fruit-like base. My tongue tingles for more as I swallow; I am spoiled rotten in that way. Before Calum, I would be excited if my wine came in a glass bottle. Now the taste of cheap red leaves me indifferent. "Good?" He asks me and I hum. "Marvellous." I reply, cutting a piece of my steak even smaller. I take a bite and scoff, it tastes that good. "Jesus, if you continue cooking like that, I'll turn as round as a meatball." I comment and he shrugs. "I'll still think you are the hottest woman." "You are obsessed with me, admit it." I tease him and he nods. "Obsessed is an understatement." He replies, cutting into his steak.

Leaning on the rail of the balcony, I take a sip of wine as I stare at the stars. It is a clear night in Los Angeles, not really usual for the hectic city. But I fully appreciate being able to look at the stars without the pollution in the way. Calum's lips find my sweetspot behind my ear and my eyes flutter, my head finding its way onto his shoulder. "Hello there..." He murmurs. Since we left the table, not many minutes ago, we have been in silence, just stargazing. "Hi." I say with a smile. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are in this light?" He asks me, pecking my temple as his hands move down to find my hips. "You find me sexy in all lighting." I sass and he laughs softly. "Maybe you are sexy regardless of the light." "Solid theory." I turn around to face him, now his hands moving to my ass. Even the slightest touch makes me feel ready to burst. "Are the watchdogs watching us now, or did you send them to nibble a bone?" I ask him and he chuckles at me. He knows I am not so fond of having people always watching our way, hidingly present in our private moments. "I would assume you are fine with them by now." He comments, gently touching my chin. "Why do we even need them here? The house is a fort. And why do I need them following me around all day? I am just a florist. What? Do you have beef with the tulip mafia?" I ask jokingly. Calum's gaze turns a little mellow. No, no, a little somber. "You need them 'cause I am afraid." He reminds me. "Of what?" I ask him again, still frustrated over the fact I work minimum wage but walk around with bodyguards. "Of who I will have to turn to if anything happens to you." He touches his forehead to mine, his breath becoming slow. I touch his cheek, not knowing what I can say to make him feel better, to dissolve his worry. With my hand over my heart, if anything ever happens to him, I will murder the ones who hurt him with my own bare hands. I guess we are rubbing off on each other; Calum has turned softer since I met him, and I have taken a dark and twisted hint from him.

I pull him in for a kiss, my lips inviting his for a dance. We haven't kissed at all today, and I can honestly say I have missed the taste of his lips. Calum sighs in relief as he deepens the kiss, my hand now moving to the back of his head to toy with the stands of messy curls. He squeezes my ass tightly, pressing his body on mine. I feel him, all of him. His muscles, his warmth, his heart beating in his chest. I feel him. And the erection growing in his pants does not surprise me. All it takes is a moment for us to turn into fucking animals. "We should head in." He suggests, his hand grazing up my body, hovering for a second before toying with the left strap of my dress. I turn my head only for a second, to look at the railing as I leave my glass on top. It'll have to do, I can't think of where else to put it. "Are they watching us?" I ask him again. "No." He replies simply. "We can stay here then." I move his hand so it pushes down the strap of my dress, revealing my breast to him. His eyes dart there, his tongue peeking from his lips before his hand cups the breast. "I love wine-drunk you." He mumbles, leaning down to capture my nipple in his mouth. I shudder, every time his lips wrap around my sensitive bud I feel the same wave of electricity course through my body. A moan leaves my lips, catching Calum's attention. "Hey, we have just started... Keep the lewd sounds for later." He chuckles, in a fake-pity tone. "Later?" I ask, trying to figure out what the night holds for me. "Later, princess. When I fuck this tight little pussy of yours. When my cock stretches your perfect little hole... Mhm, that's when you'll have to get all those little moans out." He whispers, his face inches from mine. I stare at him with lips agape, almost melting at his gaze. "Calum..." I whimper. Calum presses his forehead against mine, his fingers pinching my nipple roughly. "You have the most perfect tits I have ever seen, babygirl... Shit, you should walk around topless all day long." He groans, pulling at the peak roughly. "Calum, please... I am so wet." I can barely bring the words out of my mouth, already under his spell. "My perfect pet... My needy, little pet." His lips slide down my neck, feeling the curve of it with his mouth. My eyes flutter and I can feel a tingling sensation spread all over my sex as his mouth meets my sweet spots. I am going to explode, and he is not even inside me yet. "Let's see how wet you are." He muses, sliding his hand down my body and under the hem of my dress. He gasps in surprise, seeing that I am bare underneath my dress. "No underwear? Naughty." He smirks at me, bringing his fingers to my sex and running them over my slit. "I figured they'd be off sooner or later. Why bother putting on any?" I ask and he shakes his head at me. "My fingers are coated with your wetness. Shit, look at this, look how easily I can slip my fingers inside you." He whispers, sliding 2 digits deep inside me. My hands fly to his face, holding it between my 2 palms as I shriek and moan, pressing my forehead against his again. "Calum, please. I am begging you." I say, dragging in a sharp breath. "What do you want, kitten? Use your words, tell me what you want." He demands. He has that voice that he uses to command his men, that make people melt to his every will. "I want your cock, I want you to fuck me. I want you to make me cum around your cock. Please, baby." My lips fall open as his fingers curl up against my spot, pressing on it until he sees my eyes darken in lust.

He doesn't comment on my pathetic cry for him, he only retrieves his hand from between my thighs and turns me around, pressing his body against my back. Calum pushes my hair to the side, freeing my neck and then hicking my dress up until my ass is bare. In the flash of a second, he is lining up to my entrance, pushing me softly until my chest is resting on the railing. I hiss as he thrusts inside me, my hand going straight to grip the cold metal. "Fuck me, princess... You are so tight around my cock." He groans, holding onto my hips harshly. I am sure my skin will be bruised when he lets go of my body, the spots where the pads of his fingers are pressing onto will be covered in blueish marks. Every time we have sex he leaves a mark on my body, sort of like a map, or a reminder of every place he has touched me. I wear them proudly, even under my clothes, their presence making me feel him on my body every moment of my day. He bucks his hips away from me, completely thrusting out of my cunt and making me whimper at the loss of contact. I did not mean to protest, nor let him know his action affected me, but the whimper fell from my lips without my absolute awareness. "Aw, kitten. So desperate for my cock?" He asks me tauntingly. I just whimper again, turning my head to look at him, finding him with a smirk on his face.

He strokes his cock along my slit, rubbing the head of it around my entrance before sliding in again, finally offering me some relief. His right hand snakes expertly down between my legs, reaching my sex and pressing his middle and ring finger on my clit. I shiver down to my core, straightening up and pressing my back against his chest. "Calum." I yelp as his fingers begin rubbing on my throbbing bundle of nerves. "You want security to hear you, baby?" He asks me, whispering it in my ear. His teeth find my earlobe, pulling on it slightly and prying a cry out of me. "I don't care." I reply, but I can feel my cheeks heat up at the thought. It wouldn't be the first time we would be heard, nor the last. "You don't care, huh? You want Travis to know how well I fuck your tight little cunt? You want him to know how much of a desperate slut my innocent flower is?" He asks me again, cockiness dripping from his voice. "I don't care. Let him know. Let everyone know. Just fuck me." I plead and he chuckles, thrusting fast inside me. His fingers work at the same tempo, rubbing my sensitive clit with vigor.

He fucks me like it is the last time he ever will, making sure I hear him grunt and curse under his breath. There is nothing I want more than kissing him right now, having his moans and grunts vibrate in my mouth. But purposely he has positioned us like that, so I can't reach his mouth. "Shit, baby. You are going to be the death of me." He growls as I back my ass on him, meeting him mid-thrust. "I need to cum. Please." I whimper in a high-pitched tone. I am pulsing around him already, my stomach aching from the tightness. "Oh yeah? So soon?" He asks me. He is so cocky about this achievement, bringing me to an edge so fast, but I know that he is on his very limit, holding back so he will feel me pulse around him before he pulls out and cums. "Please. I need to. It hurts so well." I cry out and he coos at me. "Aw, my baby. Her little cunt craves an orgasm." His breath is short and forced, I can feel him sweat as he approaches his climax. "Don't pull out tonight. I want to feel all of you, every single aspect." My words are barely coherent, but Calum makes sense of them, cursing my name at the sound of my suggestion. "You sure it's not the wine talking?" He asks me and I nod. "It's not. Cum inside me." I nearly demand, to which Calum responds with a slap on my clit. I nearly scream, my sex pulsating in surprise. "Fuck." I yelp, resting my head on his shoulder and arching my back. It is a silent orgasm, but holy fuck a powerful one. I am limp with exhaustion as I come down from my high, my eyes filled with sparkles, and tears rolling down my cheeks. "Fuck it, I can't hold on any longer." Calum glues his hips on mine, emptying his load inside me. It is an exciting feeling, something I have only felt before a handful of times.

"Fuck me, I love you so much." He whispers in my ear, meaning it to be heard only by me, and no one else, as if the world is watching us. "I love you." It falls from my lips easily, without even having to think about it twice. I love him, in spite of all logic. I love him because my heart needs no logic. "I'm cold." I mumble, eyes still shut and head still resting on his shoulder. "We should head in, then. I would hate to have you sick... You make a horrible patient." He teases me and I scoff. "Fuck off. I am wonderful at all times." I chuckle and he hums. "That you are." He kisses my temple tenderly before he pulls out of me.

--

"Wake up, princess... It's time to go to work." Calum whispers in my ear, tracing a pattern on my shoulder. I grump and turn, burying my face in his chest. "Hey, Cal... Remember all the times you offered to buy the store and be my boss's boss so I get special treatment?" I ask and he laughs. "I do." "It's time to make an offer. I'd appreciate it if the deal was done before 9." I mumble and he chuckles at me, pecking on my forehead. "You are finally ok with laundrying?" He asks me and I groan. "Way to ruin everything..." I protest and he strokes my hair slowly. "Can't we stay in bed today? Just lounge in..." I suggest and he sighs deeply. "I thought you liked the flower shop." He mumbles and I shrug. "I do. But I am so tired." "Told you you shouldn't have stayed up to binge that stupid series." "You are not the boss of me." "A minute ago you wanted me to be." "You are too smart, you know that? It's annoying." "Come on, get up. You are going to be late and the ficus is going to die of dehydration." "Eh, don't say that..." I groan before leaving a peck on his chest and getting up from the bed.

"I am going to be late home today. Don't wait up, ok?" Calum states, getting off the bed right after I do. "How late?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together as I slip my feet into my slipper. "I don't know. Definitely after midnight." "That late." I sigh in defeat. "I know, I know." "And I was hoping I'd see you a bit today." "Is that a complain?" He asks me playfully, walking over my side of the bed. "A tiny one. It's been a month since our last date night..." I tilt my head to the side and he hums, gripping my chin to make me look at him. "What if I promise you a getaway? A weekend retreat, just me and you." He suggests and I cock an eyebrow at him. "A retreat where?" I ask and he bites the inside of his cheek as he thinks about it. "Somewhere warm and sandy. You look so good in bikinis..." He pushes a curl of my hair behind my ear. "Malibu?" I ask excitedly and he hums. "I can make it happen. I can find a secluded place, just for me and you... A place where clothes will be optional, nearly forbidden..." He trails off, his index finger tracing down the side of my neck. "Mr. Hood... If I didn't know you better, I'd say you are trying to seduce me." I fake gasp as his gaze is fixed on my neck. "If I didn't know you better, I'd say it's working." He teases and I burst into a light laugh. "Go get ready for work. Be a good flower girl today, and I'll make sure you wake up to a great surprise tomorrow." He pecks the tip of my nose, making me giggle at the ticklish feeling.

"Do you know where Calum is?" I ask Travis who I assumed stayed back for my protection. Several of Calum's men are missing today, along with Calum of course. The house is still an impenetrable fort, naturally, with a dozen men guarding the entryways, and that's who I can see only. But Travis, my boyfriend's trusted gunman, stayed behind, to guard his most valuable possession, me. It's quite romantic to think about, actually. Travis stares at me, obviously not bending to my question. He is not going to snitch on Calum, whose mantra is 'The less (Y/N) knows, the better.' So I decide not to pressure Travis and save my energy for something better. "I'll take a shower and head to the sitting room. I'd appreciate it if I was left alone." I state, making the man nod at my demand. "What would you like for dinner?" He asks me and I grimace, shaking my head. "I am not hungry." I reply, making my way to the bedroom. "He is going to be pissed if you don't eat." Travis reminds me and I shrug. "Well, that's a problem he and I will have to face." I reply, making the man sigh in defeat.

Curling up in the armchair Calum usually sits on, I open the book I've just bought this afternoon. It's a love story, a fictional tale of romance between a commoner and a mafia boss. It's funny, sort of surreal reading the epic tale of how dark and glamorous this love is when in reality, not a single story could commemorate what an ordinary and simple love it is. Still, those stories manage to capture an aspect of it; the worry and heartache, the constant fear that his life is in danger.

I didn't realize that I have fallen asleep in Calum's armchair. I did not realize I was asleep, not until the commotion woke me up. It's not too loud, almost as if they are trying to be quiet in their rush. But when you live with Calum, you learn to pick up even the slightest noise.

I quietly follow the noise; there are no signs of struggle, and surely, if there was an intrusion, Calum's men would have rained fire upon them. I push one of the men standing in the kitchen's doorway, making my way inside the crowded room. Amidst the room lays Calum on the island, the sight alone making my heart stop. The man moans and grunts, occasionally hissing as one of the men try to fix the wound on his bicep. "What happened?" I ask, but my voice is only a whisper. "What. Happened?" I demand to learn. Now everyone's eyes are on me, including Calum's who is now cursing through gritted teeth.

I feel a pair of hands trying to wrap around my body, starting to drag me out of the room. I put my weight on my foot, stomping on the man's toes, who lets me go and winces. "Anyone who thinks it is a good idea to even touch me right now, I will cut your hands from the shoulder. Now, what happened?" I ask. It is almost an animalistic bark, a dog snarling at predators. All remain silent, looking at Calum, who is tightening his teeth and keeps his eyes shut to endure the pain. "Everyone out." I demand, lunging forward and climbing on top of the island. I take a fresh gauge and saturate it with alcohol, pushing the man's hand away. "Everyone, out." I demand again, pressing the gauze on the wound. Calum screams but soon manages to find his breath. "Are you all deaf? Did you not hear her?" He asks his men. Hesitantly, but almost in sync, the men walk out, except the man who was tending to Calum's wound until now. "Is the bullet still inside?" I ask him. I know my face is fuming red right now, and I can barely keep myself from full-on sobbing. "No, but it is a deep wound." The man replies and tries to assist me. "Then out. Leave." "But..." "I know what to do. Leave." I demand. "It's ok, Leo. You can go." Calum assures the man. He leaves the room, looking at us throughout his exit.

I grab the kit that was left aside and bring it closer to us before I take a look at the wound. It is not too deep, luckily, but seeing my love like that brings out my worst thoughts. "It's just a scratch, it just stings." Calum mumbles. "That's a lot of blood for just a scratch." I comment, sniffling to stop myself from crying. "It's superficial. It's just the alcohol that makes me wince." He assures me. I nod my head and pick out a clean dressing for the wound. "We were in one of the clubs. Things got out of hand, but I am ok." Calum explains. "Yeah..." I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from screaming. "(Y/N), listen to me, please." He sounds desperate, but all my focus is on fixing him. "Baby, I am here... I am ok. This is nothing..." He assures me. "Shut up. Literally, shut your mouth." I have reached my breaking point, sobbing as I clean his wound.

And Calum seems to follow my demand, staying silent as I care for his injury. After wrapping it in a mesh gauze and securing it with a bandage clip, I jump off the island and pick up the blood-covered gauze. I am tired, to the verge of exhaustion, but the thought of seeing his blood tomorrow morning when I'll be drinking my coffee is enough to give me the absolute required energy to pick everything up and clean the mess. "Head to bed, you need to rest." I command, not daring to look at him. I can't, I don't have the mental nor the emotional energy of going through my macabre thoughts again. "Aren't you coming?" He asks me, carefully getting off the marble-top counter as well. "I need to clean your blood off the marble... And I need a shower." It is as if I am looking at alien hands. The amount is not much, but I have his blood on my palms, from pressing the gauze on his wound. "I can get someone else to clean up. Come to bed with me." He invites me. I know he is trying to soothe me to the best of his abilities, but I cannot, for the life of me, go to bed right now, no matter my exhaustion. "Go to bed, Calum." I turn my back to him, bending down to reach the cleaning supplies cabinet. Silently, after a loud sigh, Calum makes his way out of the room, leaving me and the blood stains alone.

I scrubbed every inch of the island and then devoted the remaining of my energy to scrubbing away the blood off my skin. I contemplated using one of these steel sponges, the ones my mom used to use when the pots and the pans were covered in grease, but my hands were already wrinkly by the time I was done cleaning them.

I could not bring myself to sleep next to Calum, something in the idea even repulsed me. So, I checked on him, finding him snoring on his side of the bed. I fixed a pillow under his arm, bringing his limb to heart-level to avoid swelling as the all-knowing internet suggested, placed a kiss on his parted lips, and made my way to the lounge, where my book was still left, open, page-down on the leather armchair, waiting for me. I was wrong; the book did not prepare me for the heartache of my love's life being in danger, nor even for a simple injury of his.

Morning rolls and finds me still awake, despite the apparent exhaustion. I find it futile to wait for the alarm of my phone to go off, so I get up from the armchair and make my way to the master bathroom. Calum is still in our bed, asleep, and had not moved an inch since I checked on him last night. I thank whoever is up there for that; his hand stayed still and I won't have to worry about the wound rebleeding.

I stand under the scorching hot water, letting it wash away my tiredness. I have to remind myself that Calum is still alive, that he is in the room just outside the door, sleeping, breathing, still warm, with blood pumping into his veins. He is here, he is going to be here when I get back from work, no one will take him away from me. I have to remind myself of all that, or else I will fall apart. There is only one question that eats away my insides. Who hurt him?

Travis is right outside the bedroom door when I exit it. "Do you always stand here waiting?" I ask him and he gives me a small, empathetic smile. "How is he?" He asks me. He worries about his commander; after all the years of being his right hand, they have formed a bond. "He is asleep. Let him rest, and change the bandage at the noon. Call that doctor that patches you up for antibiotics. He is fine now, but we don't want the wound to get infected." I state and Travis nods his head. "I'll make sure of it. Ricky is waiting in the car for you. You should grab something to it." "You are not the boss of me, nor my babysitter. What I should or should not do, is completely up to me." "I only said it 'cause you haven't eaten since..." "Worry about the person you are supposed to worry about. Maybe we wouldn't be in this position if your focus was on him and not micromanaging me." "I wasn't in the incident." He protests. "That's exactly what I am saying." I move away from the man. He is not the person I should let it out on. He is not at fault here, and frankly, maybe he doesn't deserve to deal with my angst first thing in the morning. But I have been bottling things inside since I saw Calum in the state I did last night, and it was my time to burst.

Work was almost mechanic today, I could not focus on anything else but the minutes running towards heading back home again. It was excruciating, time has never passed so slowly.

I thought it would be a relief when I'd step into the house, but my chest feels even tighter now. In any other case, I'd say I am being too dramatic, but this just feels too real. What if next time it is more than just a scratch?

I enter the room, finding Calum sitting in bed, watching something on his laptop. "Is it 5 already?" He asks me and I squint at him, earning a laugh from my boyfriend. "I was counting the minutes for you to be here. How was your day?" He asks me, patting the spot next to him on the bed. I kick off my shoes and slip off my clothes, raxing my body before crawling to bed next to him. "How are you feeling?" I ask him, pointing at the bandaged arm. "Good. I can't move it with ease, but I am ok. Doc came this morning and checked me out. She said whoever tended to my wound did an excellent job. She gave me some antibiotics for a week. How are you, baby? It must have been difficult for you last night." He strokes my cheek with his free hand and I shrug my shoulders. "Travis told me you haven't eaten since yesterday morning... You are supposed to be eating, you know?" He comments and I roll my eyes, folding my arms before my chest. "I am also not supposed to be patching up bullet holes, but here I am..." I retort, anger apparent in my voice. "I am sorry. I haven't slept all night, and I am still in shock." I admit and Calum nods, seemingly understanding my angst. "It's ok, princess. You can let it all out on me." He soothes me, letting me lean my head on his shoulder. "I was so scared last night..." My bottom lip trembles as I let it out, the image becoming vivid in my mind again. "I can't stop thinking of what would happen if it wasn't just a scrape. I can't stop thinking of what would happen if I lost you." I wrap my arms around his torso, burying my face in his chest. "I promise you, I am not going anywhere. Nothing bad will ever happen to me. You are stuck with me for a very long time..." He jokes, pecking the top of my head. "You better be... Just a scratch and I want everyone's head on a spike." "Everyone's?" He asks me, surprised by my aggression. "I am not joking, you know. I want to find the person who shot at you and rip their heart out of their chest." I groan and Calum laughs at the comment. "You are so cute when you get all murderous." He coos at me and I throw him a deathly glare. "Calum, I am very serious." "That's what I am worried about. So, let's talk about something else, something that makes you less serious. Like the trip to Malibu." He suggests, stroking his fingers down my shoulder. "What trip to Malibu?" I scoff. "The one you and I are off to Friday evening. I will pick you up after work, you'll have your bag packed already, and we will drive down to Malibu, where we will stay all weekend long, just me and you." "What about your arm?" I ask and he hums playfully. "My arm will be fine. I'll take my antibiotics, and thankfully I have the best care in the world, who will change my bandages if needed..." He kisses the top of my head once more, holding me even tighter to his body. "Come on, I have to eat to take my antibiotic and you have to eat because I can hear your stomach complaining. And then we can take a nap, 'cause I don't know about you, but I am feeling a bit tired." He suggests and I nod my head. "Yeah, I am a little sleepy too." I admit, yawning softly.

-

"...Make sure you move the orchids away from the window before closing for the night. They will be fried in the morning sun... And tomorrow at the opening, I have left you a list of the plants that need fertilizer. Don't overdo it." I list to the girl that works part-time and is replacing me for the weekend. "OK. I got it." She assures me. "And the roses, they will be delivered tomorrow morning. Make sure you put them in the fridge, move the old ones to the front." I instruct her, and she nods. "I have done this before. I will be ok." She replies. I can see she is fed up with me, and she is looking to get rid of me. Luckily, she is saved by the entrance bell, which signals that someone is here. "I got it." I announce, turning my head to find Calum in the front of the store. "Don't you have to leave?" She asks but I brush her off.

"Hello, sir. How can I help you today?" I ask playfully and Calum throws me a side smirk, one of those he wears so well. "I need 2 dozens of sunflowers. My girlfriend likes them a lot. And I upset her this week, so I want to make up." "I am sure she is not that mad at you anymore." I reply, moving to the fridge to bring out the vase of sunflowers. "I know. I just want to spoil her, you know. I am taking her away on a little trip, I promised her it would be just the two of us." He winks at me as I begin picking out the sunflowers one by one. "Pick the prettiest ones. They won't compare to her beauty but maybe they'll come close enough." He says softly. "Calum..." I coo and he smiles at me softly. "Oh my God, how do you even know my name?" He asks me playfully. I throw my head back, looking at the ceiling as I close my eyes. "My coworker over here is going to finish your bouquet because I am actually off the clock. I gotta get ready to leave, my boyfriend is taking me on a little trip, just the two of us." I sass, gesturing for the part-time worker to come finish the flowers for me. "Is he taking you somewhere nice?" He asks me with a cocked eyebrow. "He better be." I squint my eyes at him, leaving to the back of the store where I keep my stuff.

"Thought it'd be just the two of us..." I comment as I slide into the backseat of the SUV. My flowers are already waiting for me in the middle seat and Calum looks at me with a somber expression, pointing at his wounded arm. "I can't drive that well. Travis and Lu are only driving us, they'll be elsewhere during our stay." "You won't even notice we are with you." Travis turns to look at me. "Oh, I am noticing. This is not what I was promised." I point out to the front of the car, to the two men, who I have nothing against. Nothing but the fact they keep showing up to my moments with Calum. "(Y/N), baby... You have to understand." "Yeah, I always have to understand." I brood, crossing my arms before my chest and sliding on my seat. "Start the fucking car." I groan, turning my head to look outside the window.

Still sulking in silence, the driver takes an exit to a road down by the beach. It is sunny and warm outside, and if I wasn't so angry at Calum, I would be smiling and thinking of all the fun we would have under the sun this weekend. It is such a minimal thing for me to be mad about, but I hoped it would be just me and him, for the whole weekend. No one from his life that would constantly remind me we are not safe. I was just looking for two days of it, nothing more, 2 days and then we could go back to business. But I can't even have that, apparently.

"Boss..." Travis mutters, getting Calum's attention. Calum hums, taking his eyes off the scenery outside the window. "We are being followed." Travis comments, darting his eyes to the rear-view mirror. He seems calm and collected, and so does the man on the shotgun. "Are you sure?" Calum asks. Obviously, I am the only one whose heart is about to jump out of their chest. "They have been following us since the exit." Travis replies and Calum turns to me. "Duck." He commands, trying to look at me assuringly. "Maybe it is a coincidence..." I mumble, unfastening my seatbelt. "Fire a warning." Calum instructs and the man next to Travis nods. I curl on the floor before my seat, barely a second before the man puts his arm through the window and fires a warning shot in the air. I yelp at the sound, still not used to the sound of a gun firing. Calum has slid down his seat, jaw tensing as he waits for a response or its absence. I am praying it is just a coincidence that there is a car following us since the exit. Just a coincidence and now the other driver will think we are just gun-crazed idiots and we will go on to enjoy our little beach trip.

But of course, the prayer is futile and seconds later there is a response, a shot fired, not in the air like our warning, but a shot straight into the car, piercing through the glass in the back and sticking in the front, shattering the glass into a spiderweb-like pattern. "Shit." Travis curses. He is no longer calm, his voice fluctuating. "Hand me the gun." Calum points at the glove compartment. "No, Cal." I nearly demand it, but the gun is in his hands in split seconds. "Shut up." Calum growls at me, peeking up before he shoots. I count 4 shots, and then I hear the car behind us screeching. "Petal to the metal and head to a safe." Calum commands Travis who is already speeding as it is. l can feel my whole body shaking violently, panic taking over me, and my surroundings are not so helpful to ease the feeling. There are glasses everywhere, I can see Calum is scratched up, and Travis's vision is too limited for him to be running like that. I close my eyes, shutting them tightly to focus on something else, anything else. My mind wants to go to my happy place, but at every rough turn, I seem to lose my way there.

The drive to the safe house was a nightmare for me, a never-ending type of car ride. And the house is the exact opposite of what I had pictured for the weekend. Almost buried underground, it is humid and stuffy, a claustrophobic's worst scenario. "Find out who the car belonged to... We need to know who wants to scare me and why." Calum barks the order as he grabs the first aid kit from the cardboard. "Scare? They wanted you dead." It is no time for hysteria, but here we are. "If they wanted me dead, I'd be dead." Calum looks at me as if he just now notices I am still here. "Travis, make sure she is not hurt, remove the glasses from her hair, and tell someone to pack all her things from the house." Calum requests. "Where are we going?" I ask Calum, who picks a glass out of his already hurt arm. "You are leaving. We are over." He is not looking at me, and he sounds cold and determined. "No, we are not. What are you talking about?" I ask him and he pounds his fist onto the wall. "Don't you see you can't stay with me? You are not safe. I will give you all the money you need to have a comfortable life. Just go, please." "I look pretty solid to me... I am in one piece." I retort and Calum glares at me. "You could have gotten hurt today. You have to leave me, you have to be safe." He sighs. "If you want me safe, you have to be the one to keep me. I am not leaving you, end of discussion. Now, I'll go remove the glasses from my hair. By myself." I announce looking at the three men in the room with determination.

Calum only decides to join me in the small bedroom way late at night. Still awake from the tension, I welcome him silently, lifting the corner of the blanket for him to climb under. Calum sits on the edge of the mattress, kicks off his shoes, and sighs, shoulders slouching forward. Tiredness is written all over his body, I can tell without even having to take a look at his face. He turns his head to look at me, his eyes only half-open. "Why don't you just leave?" He asks me. His under eyes are puffy and dark, he needs a lot of rest immediately. "Because you don't want me to leave. It is the shock speaking. It was the first time I was in actual, immediate danger. You got scared, and now your fear is speaking instead of you. You love me, Calum. And I love you. So as long as there is this between us, I won't leave. I told you already. If you want me safe, keep me safe." I reply, stroking my hand down his forearm. Calum sighs, giving up the argument for the night, but something in my heart tells me he is not done trying to convince me to leave him. He slides towards me, getting under the blanket with me and letting me wrap my arms around his waist and spoon him. I rest my head in between his shoulder blades, closing my eyes and letting my heart sync with his.

-

"I think I need a meal and a warm shower..." I mumble as we enter our house. We left the safe in the middle of the night and took as many diversions as possible to make sure we were not followed by anyone. And now, Sunday evening and we are both more tired than we were when we began this weekend of relaxation. Calum doesn't respond to my comment but rubs his temples with a soft sigh. "Why don't you head in for a shower, and I will get started on the food? I'll even make you some coffee." I suggest, smiling at my boyfriend who is still very much somber. "That's what we'll do... Go in for a shower." I encourage him, before heading to the kitchen to make something quick.

Deciding on a quick stir fry noodles dish, I pour water into a pot to make the noodles. Sighing a deep breath, I try to shake off the goosebumps that have risen on my skin since I stepped in here. It is not easy for me, but this is my home, and I refuse to let anyone take my comfort in this house away from me. I have to shake it off, I have to pretend I am ok. Maybe if I do, Calum will forget about this whole, ridiculous sending me away thing.

The food has been already served on the plates, and it has turned cold long ago. Yet, Calum is still not on the table with me. My stomach is rumbling, demanding food that is not crackers and canned tuna. I decide I have waited enough, and pull my plate closer, picking up my fork and digging in my portion.

--

Calum has been distant for the past 2 weeks since the car shooting incident. I can say that in the past 14 days, I have barely talked with him for more than 3 hours. I know he is still worried about my safety, and I know he is only pretending, but that doesn't mean his behavior doesn't fucking hurt me.

None of his men even talk to me, obviously to their boss's request, so I am just left alone with no one to even exchange a word. I grit my teeth and pray I last without breaking down until Calum realizes he is not winning this round.

The house seems empty, a weird, chilling aura in the space as I enter it. Travis is not in his usual spot in the hallway, which is even creepier. A spark goes off in my heart, the thought that Calum might have kicked everyone out just for us to be left alone and have one of our old-time dates. I smile to myself and rush to the kitchen, my heart beating fast in anticipation. Yes, just finally back to normal.

But the kitchen is empty and there is no sign of Calum, not anyone else. Of course, the disappointment I am experiencing right now is on me, no one else but me is to blame for my stupid expectations. I pound my fist onto the marble-top island, before letting out a scream; it's not like anyone will hear me and judge me for being on the verge of hysteria.

Crying about it won't help. And neither will drinking by myself, but I guess I am doing both. I can't fucking take it anymore, I can't fucking bear his behavior any longer, but I have to, I have to since I am hopelessly in love with him. That doesn't mean I can't think he is an asshole. I don't even know how I can shake him out of his funk anymore. All I want is for things to go back to normal. All I want is for him to show me he still loves me.

For 5 days the house was empty. No one even called to check on me. I thought I almost lost my mind when I saw Calum coming into the bedroom. I shot up from the bed, looking at him as if I saw a ghost. "Where the fuck were you?" I ask, not even trying to be subtle about this. "Are you interrogating me?" He asks me. He sounds like he has been expecting this, like he has been planning for this. "Yes, I am. I have been left alone in this house for 5 days. I had to walk a mile each morning to take a cab for work because apparently, you didn't even think of leaving two men behind for my commute. You didn't even bother to call me, check up on me. So, yeah, I am interrogating you. Where the fuck were you?" I ask, placing my hands on my waist. "It's none of your goddamn business where I was. Now shut up, I need to sleep." "Calum, stop being an asshole to me. Just tell me where you were... And tell me why you didn't even reach out to me out of decency even." I snap and Calum scoffs, standing up from the bed as well. "Because you are not the center of the universe. Deal with it. I have had enough of your crap, and your demands, and your fucking feelings. You wanted to stay, suck it up now." "Suck it up?" I ask, my voice trembling. "Deal with the fact you are not that fucking important." He spits it out, grabbing his things from the bedside table before he walks out of the room, probably off to sleep in a guest room.

No matter how hard I try to remind myself he does not mean all that, I can't stop myself from feeling devastated as the words still echo in my ears.

-

"The driver is waiting for you at the front." Travis states as I exit the bedroom. "I'll take an uber..." I mumble at him, fixing my backpack on my shoulder. Travis wraps his hand around my wrist, trying to stop me from leaving the house. "Uber is dangerous. You'll take the car." He hisses the order. I pull my wrist away from his grip, staring at him in anger. I know he is going to snitch to his boss about my temper. "Your boss didn't seem to consider the danger when he left me all alone all these days. I'll be fine, and don't ever touch me or speak to me like that again. Am I clear?" I ask the man who chuckles at me before he grabs me by my jaw and forces me to look at him. I gasp, shocked by his behavior. He usually just takes whatever I throw at him, never has he retaliated. "Listen here, you little bitch. The whole world doesn't revolve around you, and none of us are here to put up with your stupid brattiness. So get in the car, or just fucking get killed already. I couldn't care less." He lets go of my jaw, causing me to stumble a few steps back from the release. "What the fuck did you just do?" I ask, my fingers pressing on the spot he was gripping onto. "You think you are so important in here but you are just a glorified cum dumpster for Calum. We all just go along your quirks for his sake, but God, we hope he finds someone else to drain his balls soon so you can get the hell out of here." Travis replies; he looks at me as if I murdered his whole family, like I am the worst of the worst. "Yeah, I am not your biggest fan as well." I sniffle, turning away to leave before I burst into tears before him.

I just can't wait till I get back from work and tell Calum how his right hand treated me today.

In a gesture of starting anew, I bought a bouquet of tulips from the flower shop, to brighten up the home a bit. I want a fresh start with Calum, or better explained, I want to go back to how things were with Calum before the stupid ambush and the shooting. Maybe if he sees me go back to my normal behavior, he will go back to my sweet old boyfriend.

I rush inside the house, eager and excited to create some romantic atmosphere for me and Calum. I'll start with the flowers, then a nice bubble bath for both of us, then I'll set the balcony up for dinner. It will be like our special little dates, and we will laugh and kiss, and for the first time in nearly a month, we will sleep together, and I'll put my head on his chest and hear his heart beating only for me. I smile to myself at the thought, but the smile fades as Travis steps in my way. "I wouldn't go to the bedroom if I were you." He comments, tilting his head to the side. I can hear some muffled noises coming from the bedroom, which makes my eyebrows furrow together. "Good thing I don't do what you'd do, then." I move away from him, opening the door to the bedroom.

I don't even have to take 2 steps inside before I realize what is going on. On my bed, the bed I share with the love of my life are 2 women, both of them clad in lingerie that leaves nothing to the imagination, one by each side of my boyfriend, who is laying on his back, with his cock in the blonde's mouth, and a hand pressing down on her head to take him further. "What the...?" I manage to mumble, the bouquet slipping from my hand. I am shaking and I can tell that I am on the verge of collapsing, my breathing becoming forced, almost as if I have to remind myself to breathe. "Oh, you are back early." Calum comments casually as if I didn't just catch him cheating on me, on our bed, with not only one, but two women. The 2 women turn to look at me, the one who is sucking him off and raising her head to reveal her lipstick-smudged face. "Don't pay her no mind... Back on it..." Calum groans, pulling the blonde's head back to his cock. I want to throw up, my stomach tight in a ball as my brain processes the scene. The brunette moves close to his cock as well, pressing her lips on the shaft the other one cannot fit in her mouth.

With my face tense, and my ego not allowing me to give him the satisfaction of bursting into tears, I move to the closet, reaching for the suitcase on the top shelf of the wardrobe. "Asshole..." I let out a scream, finally succumbing to the temptation of stooping low. "You asshole... I can't believe you just did that to me, after all the things we went through. After I put up with your bullshit for so long."I scream, throwing my clothes violently into my suitcase. Most of my screaming is incoherent, but that doesn't seem to bother him. He keeps on moaning, talking dirty to the women satisfying him and giving them directions. "Fuck, baby... Just like that... You are so good with your mouth." I hear among the sounds of the woman gagging on his cock. He is not even decent enough to wait until I am out of here before he continues.

I am not sure how long it took me until I gathered all my stuff from the wardrobe, but Calum has not stopped a moment until I was done throwing things inside my bags. When I exited the bathroom after gathering my toiletries, the brunette was riding him in a reverse cowgirl position. Calum looked almost drunk in euphoria, moaning under his breath."I hope you rot in the deepest pit of hell." I sniffle, taking one last look at the man I thought loved me more than life itself. Calum doesn't respond, only moans louder and bucks his hips up, making his lover scream in pleasure. I exit the bedroom, heading straight to the small lounge of the house to pick up the books I have there. I am not coming back in here, ever again. I am not stepping a foot in here even if my life depends on it, so whatever is left behind today is dead to me.

"I told you I wouldn't go inside if I were you." Travis mumbles as I rush towards the door to finally leave this place. "I hope you are happy. Your collective wish came true, he found someone else to empty his balls on..." I say bitterly, the words feeling like spikes on my tongue.

(Calum's POV)

"Did they leave?" I ask Travis as he walks into the lounge. "Yeah. They were still baffled you kicked them out right after (Y/N) left, but I gave them something extra for the frustration." He explains and I nod my head, before folding in half, bringing it to rest between my legs. I sigh, my stomach hurting as I remember her last words. "Find out where she is spending the night. And tomorrow send two newbies in a new car to stake the florist..." I mumble, trying to focus my gaze on the marble beneath my feet. "Ok." Travis mumbles. "What?" I ask him, raising my head to look at him. "Nothing... I just don't know, man. It's not my place to speak, but I am not sure you handled that in the best way possible. I am not 100% ok with how I treated her today." He admits. I clench my jaw, closing my eyes to bring myself back to sanity. "It was the only way she would leave me." "Why did she have to leave you? She was good, she was chill about this whole shit." "If anything happened to her because of this whole shit, I'd kill myself. She is not safe with me, she could get hurt at any moment." "And she is not hurt now?" Travis asks with a cocked eyebrow. "I know she is. But eventually, she will get over it. She will meet someone new, someone who better be great to her. She'll get married, have children, and live in a beach house down in Malibu, with a backyard facing the sea and a front-yard full of flowers. She'll be ok, and safe, and loved." It hurts that I won't be the one to give her all that. It hurts that I will have to live with her absence, with the thought of her smiling that morning, sleepy smile of hers for someone else. "How are you so sure she won't snitch on us? She knows too much, she could retaliate you." "No, she couldn't. Not her, not my (Y/N). I don't want to talk about it anymore. Just let me know where she spends the night and make sure she has security." I command, getting up from the armchair.

(Y/N's POV)

I am not myself anymore, that much I can admit. The days since I left Calum have blurred together and I cannot tell them apart, even if I try my hardest. I have set myself on autopilot, avoiding having to think for even a second, since thinking leads to only one, recurring thought; he never loved me. It sneaks into my mind even when I am focused on something unrelated. I can be thinking of what I'd like to have for dinner, and then that tiny voice that whispers to me Calum never loved me finds its way into my ears. It is exhausting, and it feels neverending. I can't get it to shut up, I can't make it go away, so I have decided to numb myself and leave all obligations to become mechanical.

I have to try my very hardest to mask my pain when I am working. No one likes to buy flowers from the sobbing gal, and I can't afford to lose my job now, I have to pay my bills all by myself.

And it's not like I can talk about this to anyone. I have no friends in real life, and my parents are far ignorant about all this, only having met Calum twice in the years we've been together. And even if I had someone I could open up to, I wouldn't even be honest with them, since most of Calum's life is a hushed topic.

I feel like all joy has been sucked out of my life, out of my existence. And I can't help but wonder; will I ever stop feeling like that?

Tuesday evenings are usually slow, so for the past couple of hours, I have been keeping myself busy with plant care. I run a moist towel over the leaves of the ficus plant, before moving it away from the window and shutting the blinders so the morning sun won't fry the plant until we open in the morning. With 5 minutes until closing time, I did not expect the bell hanging from the door to chime. I sigh and rub my eyes, before moving toward the client.

"Hello, how can I help you?" I ask the man before me. He reaches inside his jacket, grabs his handgun, and shows me it. My breath hitches in the back of my throat, and I look at him with fear all over my face. "Listen, the register doesn't have a lot of money today. It's the beginning of the week and people don't buy flow..." "I am not here to rob you. And if you listen to me like the good girl you are, you won't get hurt." He stops me and I nod my head. Fuck... I can't even imagine what he is going to do to me. But if I want a chance to survive this, I have to play along with what he wants. "Is there a back door?" He asks me and I nod. "Good. You leave your things here, you don't make a scene, and we exit from the back." He instructs. My eyes flutter, my stomach tight in a knot as my panic starts taking over. Up to here, I have to admit, he has been awfully polite for someone who is threatening me with a gun. "Can I at least close the store? It will raise suspicion if I don't..." I point at the blinders and the sign at the door that says OPEN. "Don't do anything funny. I won't hesitate to use it." He reminds me of the gun he is holding as if I could ever forget. I nod my head in agreement, moving to lower the blinds and lock the door. "Give me your things..." He orders once I am done with closing the door. "You said I'll leave them behind..." I mumble and the man sighs in annoyance. "Do you really want to oppose me?" He asks me and I shake my head at him, moving behind the registry to hand him my phone, my purse, and my jacket. "Good girl, keep it like that." He praises me, in a tone that makes my gut twist.

I move ahead to exit through the back door, the man moving behind me and pressing his gun on my back. Involuntarily, I arch my back, shivers raising on my skin at the threatening sensation. "Best behavior." He reminds me as I lock the door once we are out. Despite me nodding my head in agreement, the next I know is a hit to the back of my head and everything turning black.

Goodbye world.

(3rd Person's POV)

Her head hurts and her neck feels sore. She tries to rax her body, but it seems to be held down by restraints. She opens her eyes slowly, but the darkness of the space she is in is not so different from the darkness behind her eyelids.

Fuck, she has just realized she was abducted. She was picked up from work, by a man she has never met, who told her if she complied, she wouldn't get hurt. He lied of course, why wouldn't he? She can feel a dull pain radiating from the back of her head, where her captor hit her with the back of his gun. Nothing makes sense to her. Why her? She is just a florist, nothing more. Why would anyone pick her?

Trying to make sense of this makes her head hurt even more. Connecting the dots worsens her state and only brings her closer to a panic attack, which is certainly most unwelcome at this point.

She wants to press a hand on the back of her skull to soothe the pain, but her hands are tied tightly behind her back, with no margins of motion. Everything hurts, everything. And all she feels like doing is giving up, just letting go and dying right here, right now. There is no point in living, either way, she thinks.

She has no time perception of how long it has been from the moment she opened her eyes to the moment one of her captors came into the room she was kept. It felt like hours to her, though she is aware it could have been just mere minutes. A small lamp hanging from the ceiling, at last, gives her some sight, ending the abysmal tenebrosity she has been in.

"Good morning, sunshine." The man says mockingly. He now has a better view of the woman; she is, in all honesty, just the girl next door, no one he would expect to see with someone like Calum. (Y/N) brings her gaze to see his face, but it is hidden behind a balaclava. Good sign, she thinks to herself. If their plan was to kill her, they wouldn't bother wearing a mask. "What do you want?" She asks. Her voice is groggy, and her mouth and throat had dried up from the lack of water. "Don't bother your pretty little head with that. That's something your boyfriend should worry about." The man squats down before her, pulling at the rope that keeps her bound to the chair, making sure the restraints are well tight on her body. She looks too weak and tired to fight, but he just has to make sure. "My what?" She asks, her brain still in a haze from the hit and the shock. "Come on, don't play it dumb. Your boyfriend, the king of the world, Mr. Calum Thomas Hood." The man says sarcastically, which brings laughter out of (Y/N). They think Calum and she are still together, how ironic. She coughs through her hysterics, her throat in pain now. "Why are you laughing, bitch? Am I amusing you?" He asks me and she throws her head back. Her stomach aches from laughing too hard, the air feeling heavy in her lungs. "You have the wrong fucking info. Or better, you have the most outdated information ever. We broke up, it's been 3 months. He doesn't care about me, he never did. You did all that for nothing." She coughs again, and the man chuckles at her. She makes a mental note to ask for some water, so the horrible taste is off her mouth. "We will see about that, sunshine." He stands up and walks to the door, flipping the light switch so the lamp turns off, submerging (Y/N) in the darkness once more. "He doesn't care about me." She shouts, hoping they realize it and end this misery.

Not long after, the light is turned on again. Even this weak ray of light makes her eyes burn, and it does not help with the headache that has been forming since she became conscious. She is not sure if the light or the absence thereof is worse for her state. "We need you in tip-top condition if we want your boyfriend to pay up." The voice of this man is different, deeper that the previous one's. He holds a bottle of water in his hand and a plastic package with 2 triangle sandwiches inside. "Sealed, so you don't think we are trying to poison you." He shows her the meal, before unscrewing the cap and giving her a sip of water. The sip turns to a chug, and the chug turns to swallowing half a bottle at once. Oh, divine water. How many times has she underappreciated you... "I am not hungry... I want a painkiller, my head is going to explode." She states, catching her breath from the sudden chugging. Her diaphragm is somehow sore from swallowing so much liquid at once. "You eat this first. We don't want you getting sick... It's not like we can take you to the doctor." The man laughs. "He is not going to give you anything for me. He doesn't care if I live or I die. Let me go, or just kill me already, I don't care anymore. You are wasting your time." She protests. She doesn't care about her fate anymore, she is honest about that. "We will see about that. Eat now. And be thankful that we are so patient with you." He unseals the plastic packaging and brings one triangle before her mouth. Up to a point, he is right; they have been very patient with her, and she cannot deny it.

-

A knock on the door makes Calum raise his gaze from his notebook. It is the time of the day that no one bothers him, an opportunity for him to get his business in order. Not that he does anything else throughout the day. "Come in." He knows it is Travis requesting entry, no one else could be this late at night, and no one else has the freedom to do so. "There is a problem." Travis announces, taking a seat across from the man. Worry is evident in him, Calum could tell from the moment he entered through the door. Calum's guess is somehow accurate. The only thing he is missing is the awkwardness of his associate. How could he ever tell him what is going on? "If it's not life or death, I don't care. Figure it out yourself." Calum mumbles, grabbing his glass and taking a sip from his whiskey. He doesn't want to be bothered, he hasn't been in a good mood in the past month. It was a well-known fact amongst his men that since (Y/N) left, Calum has turned into a grouch. "She hasn't made it home for 2 nights straight. She wasn't at work either this morning. And the guys staking her out did not see her coming out of the store last night." Travis states the latest info he had on Calum's ex. He doesn't know any better way to make his boss aware of his ex's disappearance. "Are you sure she did not sleep at her boyfriend's?" Calum asks him; he dreads the day Travis will tell him she found someone new. "You know she doesn't have a boyfriend. Something is fishy. She always makes it home." The first part of the response was meant to soothe Calum, yet his heart has taken a dip to his stomach. "Fuck. Fuck. Shit. She was supposed to be safe away from me." He mumbles under his breath, running a hand over his face and tangling his fingers in a few locks of hair. "Has anyone contacted us? Have you tracked down her phone?" He asks, his mind jumping to the only logical assumption. Logical -of course-, only for those living the way he does. "It was found in the alley behind the store." Travis announces, placing the cracked phone before his boss. "Send people to find any cameras in the area. And make a list of all fishy behavior. Shit. If anything happens to her, I'll burn the city to the ground." Calum's knuckles have turned white from flexing his fist unconsciously, the thought of (Y/N) in danger making him want to rip his skin off in desperation. She was supposed to be safer away from him. He hurt her in the worst way possible, he had his people treat her like shit, all for nothing. "I'll update you if I have news." Travis tries to sound optimistic, but he knows, he knows deep inside him that (Y/N) is not safe, and any news he will bring Calum will be horrible. "No, you have 2 hours to find an answer. I don't care what you have to do. In 2 hours I am personally barging into every house in LA. Find her." He groans through gritted teeth. The scariest part for him is he means it. All these months later, he still would put his life in danger to save hers. -

"Smile for the camera..." One of the abductors instructs her, holding a polaroid camera close to her face to take one more picture. "Why no one listens to me? He won't give anything in exchange for me." She is becoming increasingly annoying by the minute she is in captivity, the captor thought. One of the others has already slapped her across the face to shut her up, despite clear instructions to not touch her. But now a bruise decorates her face, making her look in an even worse state. Hopefully, this will shake Calum and make him pay even faster. "Oh, but he will after he sees those pretty pictures of you... You look like a ghost, I bet that will shake him up." The abductor admits his thought, smiling through his ski mask. "You think he cares about me? I caught him fucking two women in our bed the day I left, he kept going while I gathered my stuff. You won't get anything for me, I am worthless." (Y/N) is not even trying to get them to release her, just to end her misery. "Oh, princess... Why the pessimism? Show me the good side now." He turns her face, taking a picture of the bruise on her left cheek. Now he understands why she has been begging them to just shoot her; she is broken. Of all the horrible things he could accuse Calum, breaking women wouldn't be in his options. "Wanna blow on it?" He asks her, shaking the first polaroid in front of her face. It is a power move, ballsy and obnoxious, and (Y/N) scoffs but complies. She catches a glimpse of the way she looks in the picture. So, this is how she will look as a corpse, she thinks to herself. "How long have I been here?" She asks, feeling her limps already sore. "Why, are you tired of us already?" The man asks back. "I need to stretch. Please, untie me, let me move for a little." She begs but the man chuckles. "I think you confuse the kindness we have showed you this far with stupidity." "I can't feel my legs, please." "No wonder he cheated on you. You are always fucking complaining." The man scoffs before turning off the light and exiting the room. There is nothing more for her to do, she just throws her head back and prays all is done soon.

-

"This just came in." Travis announces, handing Calum a manilla envelope. It has no name, no address on it, it is just blank paper. He tears it up, fishing inside it for its containings. 3 plastic square pieces, 3 slick polaroids which he doesn't know if he has the guts to take a look at. Will it be a sick powerplay exhibition, with the love of his life already dead and rotting? Or a warning, with her just beaten and broken, violated by scumbags an enemy paid? He bites his tongue and tightens his jaw, bringing the photos out of the envelope as he takes short, harsh breaths. He has to know, he has to know how much wrath he will unleash on the people who are hurting his (Y/N). Although, the amount of wrath won't be so different for each case. "They fucking hit her..." He growls, his eyes going wide at the first picture. His (Y/N), the love of his life and the light of his existence, with a bruise on her left cheek, bound on a chair. She looks pale and tired and she looks like she has already given up. It is certainly not the worst he could have seen her, but it still makes him want to hang the ones that did this to her from a hook from the ceiling. "Find them." He gives Travis a picture that shows a little bit of the background. It's like looking for a needle in the haystack, but it is a clue, and Travis will do anything to figure out the clue.

Before Travis could even take the picture from Calum's hands, his phone rings. An unknown number of course, finally a move from their side for ransom. Calum motions Travis to be quiet before he answers the call. "Calie boy... Finally, we are talking." The voice on the other end says. Calum has heard this voice before, he knows the man, he is sure of it. "Who is this?" He asks, even though he knows the man won't give him a straight answer. "Oh, come on... You have already forgotten me? Tsk tsk tsk... How disappointing... And I thought I left a mark on you. Well, a scar." The man laughs and Calum scoffs in realization. The man who shot him that night, Roman... something... God, Calum never bothered with learning names. "What do you want?" He asks, trying to remain calm. He has to, for her safety. He might not remember the man's last name, but he knows he is vile, a sadist, he has the rumor of the torturer, and Calum sweats at the thought of what he will do to his (Y/N). "Didn't you get the pictures? She is a beauty isn't she?" "My ex? Well, she is alright, I guess." At the thought of this slimy bastard touching even a hair off her head, Calum wants to throw up. "Oh, no, don't say that... She is very beautiful, even now she is weary. I don't know how my guys keep their hands to themselves." Calum knows he does it to taunt him, but he can't help but hiss at the idea of them touching her. "I don't know what to tell you. She and I are over for so long... It doesn't matter to me what you do with her." He hopes Roman lets her go. He hopes he finds another way to leverage him into doing whatever he wants him to do. "Oh, well then... She has been telling us that. Maybe I should tell my guys to do her the favor and just kill her like she has been begging us to." Calum's ears begin ringing, a high-pitched noise filling the silence. "What should I do, Calum? I can't keep her here much longer. Should I let her go? Or should I put a bullet between her brows? I bet that picture will be even better than the one in your hands." He asks him as if this is some sort of video game where the dead bodies piling up in the background are not real. Sick bastard, Calum thinks to himself. "What do you want?" He asks him, his voice coming out like a growl. "Now we are talking. I heard you had some visitors from Colombia. They came in a big ship, apparently." Roman sounds too cheerful, already knowing the coke will be his. "You want the coke?" Calum asks with a chuckle. "Mmm, you are smart after all. I'll send you an address, make sure you bring it there in 48 hours. I don't think Ms. Sunshine over here is going to last longer than that. 48 hours, all of it. Don't try to screw me over, 'cause your little girlfriend won't have as much fun as we will do." "How do I know she is still alive?" Calum asks. He just wants to hear her voice, even just for a second. "Oh, now you care for her status?" "Just put her on the phone." Calum demands but Roman scoffs. "Oh. It's not up to me. I don't think she wants to talk with you after your little menage a trois. Ballsy, though, I have to admit. Fucking two women while she gathered her stuff. It's not a surprise she has already given up. Time is passing, Hood. 48 hours. Tick tock, tick tock." And the line goes dead.

"Find where he holds her." Calum turns to Travis, before kicking his armchair repeatedly, angrily, pretending in his head that he is kicking Roman to death.

-

"He is not as smart as he thinks he is." Travis announces as he shows his boss a picture of a building. "You found her?" Calum asks him hopefully. He will cover Travis in gold if he tells him he knows where (Y/N) is. "I think so. We could trace the drive through street cameras. They used a busy street to move her. Up to a point, we could see the car, then it disappeared. But we looked at the abandoned buildings within a 5-mile radius. We found them through satellite pictures. They have her here. I send a few guys to do a drive-by, see any strange motion." "If they have her there, there will be carnage. I don't care who is killed, kill them all. I just want her back home to me, Travis. If a hair off her head is hurt, I will burn it all to the ground." "If she is not there?" "We give them what they want. I don't care about anything else but her. I just need her back here. I need her here with me so I can keep her safe." He admits and Travis nods, patting his boss's back. "We'll bring her home, boss." He assures him.

-

(Y/N)'s heartbeat picked up when she saw a man walking into the room she is kept. The first man who came in without a mask since they brought her here. "Fuck..." She mumbles under her breath, but the man hears her and chuckles. "Why the curse word, Ms. sunshine? Are you so disappointed to see me?" The man asks, towering well over her. "Who are you? What do you want from me?" She asks; she is tired, and she hasn't slept at all while she has been here. She can't, she has tried to but she is too uncomfortable. The man sighs and shrugs his shoulders. "It doesn't matter who I am. Your boyfriend already agreed to my terms... The less you know, the better." "It doesn't matter. Calum only agreed to buy himself some time. He won't give you anything. He doesn't care. I have been telling your guys." "Oh, but I think he is going to pay up. We have been treating you well this far, haven't we? He would hate to see that change..." "I know you are going to kill me..." She retorts, making the man look at her with a furrow on his brow and his head tilted to the side. "What makes you think of that?" Roman asks, curious to see her reasoning. "You came in here with no mask. You wouldn't risk me giving a description to the police once I'd be freed. So, you are going to get what you want from Calum, if it ever gives it to you, and then you are going to hand over a dead body..." She describes, the glimpse of her state from the polaroid flashing in her brain. Roman chuckles, gripping her chin and looking down on the woman. He forces his thumb into her mouth, making her cough from the shock. "You won't be able to talk with your tongue cut off, will you?" He asks her, and for a moment, (Y/N) believes he means it. Roman laughs and pulls his hand away, looking at the shivering mess (Y/N) has turned into. "I am only joking of course. For now. I found you once, I can find you again if you open your stupid mouth. And then I won't be so lenient." The man sounds serious, and he looks ready for anything.

And now (Y/N) is seriously done with her life. She will never be safe again, she will never be able to live a normal life. She can run, but she cannot hide. So she has to pray for her death, with all her courage.

-

"I still think you should have stayed back home." Travis comments as they approach the building (Y/N) is held in. "We both know that wouldn't happen." Calum replies. When Travis told him yesterday where they keep (Y/N), Calum's first urge was to burst into this place and pick her up himself. Travis had to keep him to his sense and remind him that they would need to prepare well and that it would be ideal to take out Roman as well, get done with him once and for all. Calum's people had already seen him twice going to the building, once in the morning and once at night, so they gathered all men they could find and talked about their plan. The only thing Calum managed to tell his men before Travis took over was that (Y/N) had to return to him unharmed. And his men all agreed, not that they could have done else how. Calum was a feral beast backed into the corner, no one would dare go against his wishes.

So, on Roman's night visit to the abandoned building, they dressed in all black, girded on as many guns as they could, and braced themselves for the bloodbath that would ensue. The goal was crystal clear; kill all, kill Roman, and bring (Y/N) home unharmed.

(Y/N) has been trying to make herself fall asleep, despite the uncomfortable position she has been sitting in since she was brought in. She can no longer feel her legs, which is terrifying to think of, so she has decided to close her eyes and rest, so she won't have to think about what is happening to her. It is a futile effort, no one could ever sleep like that, so (Y/N) is startled by the loud noises outside the room. Loud voices, followed by gunshots, so many gunshots. (Y/N) realizes she is nearing her death, she will die on this chair, she will never feel her limbs again. She will die like this, ingloriously, because the man she loved has feuds all over. Fuck, she owes it to herself to be honest to herself one last time. The man she loves, the man who hurt her irreparably, the man who became the center of her existence. She still loves Calum, with all her heart, despite the time that has passed, despite everything he has done to her. She chuckles to herself; she is fucked up. She should hate Calum, she should curse the day she met him, but she can't help but have a shrivel of hope that the one causing this commotion is Calum, barging in here to save her.

The door opens with a loud bang, and the lightbulb over her head lights up, giving the room a ray of light. (Y/N) sees a man, one of her captors she assumes, now without his balaclava, pointing his gun at her. (Y/N)'s heart stops; the man's hand is shaking. "Time to grant you your wish, bitch." The man states, pulling the trigger. She doesn't have enough time to realize where the bullet hit her. Everything goes black for her, and she falls with her back on the floor, along with the chair she is sitting on.

Calum follows the man who seems to rush away through the chaos. Roman was arrogant enough to not bring many men, so most of them scattered for their life when they saw Calum and his men barge in.

Calum's instinct kicked in when he saw one of the men rushing downstairs. He could not tell why exactly, but the first thing that popped into his mind was that he would lead him to his (Y/N).

And now, standing in the doorway of where (Y/N) has spent the past 5 days, seeing the man who has just shot the love of his life before his eyes, the only thing he wants to do is bash that man's face in, watch his blood paint the floor. Nevertheless, he suffices to putting a bullet through his skull and rushing to (Y/N), hoping he is not too late.

-

Travis walks into the recovery room (Y/N) is post-op. Calum has not moved an inch from her bedside since she got out of surgery. "Hey. Did she wake up?" Travis asks, handing his boss a cup of coffee. Calum runs his hand down his face, shaking his head. "Not yet. The doc said she was worn out and she needs more rest to recover." He replies, running his thumb over the back of (Y/N)'s hand. Travis reaches inside his jacket, taking out some polaroids for Calum "I think she will need to see this when she wakes up." Travis taps his pointer finger on the first photo. Calum takes a look, seeing a picture of Roman, with blood spilling from his mouth and a wound on his chest. Calum swallows harshly, flexing his jaw as he lets the realization sink in. The person who hurt (Y/N) is dead gone, no longer a threat. "I don't want her to see this." Calum states, handing the photos back to his friend. "I am not exposing her to any more violence. She has had enough for a lifetime." Calum states, looking at the woman he loves laying in the hospital bed, wounded and spent, and it is all his fault. "You should get some rest. I can stay with her for a couple of hours so you can sleep, shower, and eat something. She is still going to be here when you get back." Travis suggests, but Calum doesn't even want to think about it. He wants to be the first person she sees when she opens her eyes, so he can assure her she is safe now, hug her and tell her how sorry he is, for everything. Then he will tell her he will always keep her safe and he will never again turn her away. He will tell her how much he loves her and then he will stay with her until the end of time.

Of course, Calum didn't take into consideration the possibility that (Y/N) might not want to see him ever again.

She opens her eyes 3 days after the operation. Disoriented and confused, she can hear her breathing loud in her ears. All she can see is the white ceiling which she somehow associates with the description of the torture room of a twitted opthalmologist from a German thriller she once read. She groans, her eyes fluttering open and shut as she turns her head to the side to check her surroundings. There is a figure at her bedside, someone who is still blurry but (Y/N) can already tell who is.

"Where am I?" She asks, her voice raspy and muffled by her oxygen mask. Calum raises his head from the mattress, his heart pumping faster at the sound of her voice. In any other case, he would laugh at how her voice sounds like Darth Vader's, but now he just wants to tear up from the happiness of hearing her again. "(Y/N) ... Shit, don't move, you are hooked to a lot of things..." Calum rushes to say, making sure she doesn't make any abrupt moves. "What happened?" She asks as Calum comes into her sight. "You were abducted and shot. We are in a private surgical unit, you had surgery in your abdomen to fix the bullet wound, and you have been sleeping for 3 days. The doctor said you were exhausted and you need more time to recover. Baby..." He wants to tell her he is sorry, he wants to tell her she is safe now, that he will protect her with all his power. He wants to tell her that he loves her.

But (Y/N) removes the oxygen mask so she is heard loudly and clearly. "Leave." She demands, her eyes glazed with tears. "(Y/N), baby, please..." He tries to soften her, but her teary eyes make him feel like the most awful person in the world. "Leave." Her breathing is irregular, short, and rushed and he can tell he is upsetting her, he is hurting her once more. "Ok, ok...I am leaving. I am leaving." Calum surrenders, picking up his things from the end table.

It's not the time nor the place for him to make amends. He wants her to heal, physically and mentally first, it is all that matters to him.

(Y/N's POV)

"Good afternoon, Ms. (Y/N)." The driver that used to drive me to and from work is standing at the door of my recovery room. I sigh, folding a t-shirt and throwing it into my duffel bag. "Hello there." I smile awkwardly, waiting to see what the man wants. Calum has left a myriad of men behind him, making sure I have what I need. He hasn't yet dared to show up here, which I assume is a good thing... "Whenever you are ready, we can leave. The car is already at the entrance." He says in a polite, merry way. "I have already called an Uber." I reply, picking up my phone, which Travis made sure to replace after my device was destroyed during the kidnapping. "Mr. Hood gave me clear instructions to take you home and make sure you are settled in without problems. And your doctor suggested you take it easy until you fully recover." "Tell Mr. Hood I can take care of myself. I have been doing that for a while now." I reply, zipping up my duffel and checking my phone to see how much longer I should wait for my Uber. "Ms. (Y/L/N), please... I will get in serious trouble if I don't follow this order. Please." He begs. "Not really my problem, is it?" I feel bad for saying that, it's not really my character. "Please, (Y/N). He is already furious at everyone for what happened. Please." He sounds genuinely scared which -knowing Calum,- is understandable. "Fine. I'll cancel my ride." I sigh, giving up. The man smiles and walks in to pick up my bag. A ride back home won't hurt, I guess.

"Wait, this doesn't seem like we are heading downtown." I comment and the driver sighs. "Please, do not panic. Mr. Hood has asked to see you." He replies, looking at me through the rear-view mirror. "I should have left you to face his wrath..." I mumble, sitting back on my seat with my arms crossed before my chest. "I am sorry." The driver states and all I do is shake my head. Seeing Calum one last time is not ideal, but it might be what I need to end this chapter.

It is not easy for me to be back in this house. There is a horrible taste in my mouth from the moment I entered the premises, and I can't help but dig my nails into my forearm as I walk towards the balcony. Clearly, I don't want to be here, no matter how much I have missed this place, no matter how much I have missed how things were with Calum. It is just impossible for me to forget my very last moments in this house.

Calum is sitting on the balcony, a light lunch laid before him on the table. He looks like he has been counting the seconds until I arrived, he is agitated and he has been drumming his fingers on the table, up until he realizes I am here. He almost jumps up to his feet, quickly rushing to me without a word. "Thank you for coming." He says after a moment of just scanning me from head to toe. "I didn't have much of a choice. Your driver basically kidnapped me." I reply, moving to take a seat away from his. "It was the only way to get you here, I am sorry." He states, running his hand down his face. "Did anyone even think that I might feel uncomfortable with not knowing where I am headed? Or that I might have gotten triggered by having no control over it?" I ask, fidgeting with my fitness tracker. The doctor told me that I should keep track of my heart rate since it was low post-op, so this little gadget has been strapped on my wrist for the past few days. It is pretty uncomfortable, I am still not used to it. "I can't get anything right lately, can I?" Calum sighs, bringing a plate before me. "Why am I here, Calum?" I ask. This is the first time we are in the same room, we are having a conversation since the breakup. Well, there was that time at the hospital, but I cannot say I was very aware of everything that was happening. "I am not hungry." I push the plate away. "You should be eating well if you want to heal faster." He is looking at me lucky a puppy left in the rain, which is unfair, and dirty on his side. I am the fucking victim here, he has no business trying to make me sympathize with him. "Well, it is not your concern anymore. I am capable of taking care of myself. Why am I here?" I ask, pressing my tongue against my cheek. "I wanted to see you." Calum is looking at his fingers, picking at his cuticles as he mumbles the phrase. "Unbelievable." I shake my head, getting up from my chair. "(Y/N), please, wait... Shit, just listen to me for a moment." He gets up as well, blocking me from moving further away from the table. "Listen to what? What else do you have to say?" I ask him. "The man who ordered your abduction is dead. So are the men who were keeping you. I put a bullet through the skull of the man who shot you. No one is going to hurt you again, baby. I am not letting anyone hurt you again. I promise you that, princess. I promise you you are safe. I am going to do everything that is in my power to help you feel safe again." He reaches to stroke my cheek, his touch making me jolt almost as if I am hit by electricity. I move away, barely able to hold my tears anymore. "Safe? Safe, really? You want me to believe this bullshit? Where were you while I was captured? Where were you when they were hitting me? Where were you when I couldn't feel my legs, when that creep threatened to cut off my tongue? Where were you when I was begging them to put me out of my misery? I was begging them to kill me, Calum. And you are telling me you are going to do everything in your power to help me feel safe? Fuck. You." I scream; I am done holding back, I am done being quiet about what I went through. Calum stares at me with a shock on his face, certainly not expecting me to admit to begging for my death.

"(Y/N), I am so sorry." He manages to say, touching my arm to comfort me. "Don't fucking touch me. And you know what, Calum? How am I supposed to trust you, to believe this promise you are giving me today when you have broken all your other promises to me?" I ask him. My watch begins beeping, signaling my heart rate is very high. "I don't want to be here anymore. Please, let me go." I sniffle, shaking down to my core. I want to go home and hopefully never see him again.

Calum moves aside, letting me walk back inside the house, from where I rush to the front door without paying attention to the voice of Travis who is rushing behind me.

-

Of course, I didn't expect him to give up on me easily. For the past 2 months, I have returned more jewelry, designer gifts, and meals than I can remember. Every day he sends something different, one more impressive than the other as if I was ever impressed by material things. I have managed to maintain my dignity, if we excuse the time I stomped on the bouquet he sent me, right in the middle of the florist shop I am working at. But seriously, who sends a lackey to buy flowers from the store I am working at and then sends the same lackey to deliver the same flowers, with a ridiculously cheesy card? Fuck that, of course, I snapped, anyone would have.

I don't know if it would have been better if he tried to approach me personally. I don't know if my reaction would be calmer if he came and saw me, face to face, with the guts he claims he has. I think I would at least appreciate the courage. But I haven't seen him in 2 months, and my anger has only been boiling inside me. I would be lying if I said I don't think of him, or that I don't miss him. There are nights that I can only bring myself to sleep if I picture I am sleeping in his arms. I even bought a bottle of his favorite perfume, or better said, my favorite perfume of his. He still is the love of my life, even if I am not his. Just at the thought of someone else touching me, I get hives. It is pointless, so pointless to deny that I am looking for a good reason, a good chance to run back to him, but my ego and the sense of self-preservation keep me back.

"Ms. (Y/L/N)?" A young man asks me as he walks to the cashier of the florist shop. "That's me." I reply, sighing as he shows me a tablet and touch pen for my signature. "I have this envelope for you. It requires a signature." He states with a soft smile. I sigh, throwing my head back. "Take it back to your boss and tell him I don't want anything from him." I might sound a tad bit too dismissive, but the man looks at me with a confused look. "I am sorry, miss. This was delivered to us this morning and it has no return address. Are you going to receive it?" He asks me, still holding out the tablet for me. I sigh, reaching in my purse for a couple of bucks to tip him before I sign and get handed the envelope. "Thank you, miss. Have a nice day." He smiles and walks out of the door, making the little bell that hangs above the door chime at his exit.

I pick up the manila envelope, looking at it with my lips pursed. "Everything ok?" The girl that works part-time asks me. Since the kidnap and my meltdown, my boss insisted there are always two people in the store, either her or the part-timer. "I need 5-minutes." I point at the back of the shop, and the girl nods at me. "Of course, take your time." She is too polite, way more than I would be in her case.

I rush to the back, leaning against the counter as I tear up the top of the envelope. It is just papers inside, a couple of them that will certainly take more than 5 minutes to make sense of.

I take a look at the first paper on the stack, a photo of a house, a Mediterranean-style villa with a beautiful front yard suitable for planting flowers and trees, and all the things I always wanted. It is confusing; what am I supposed to understand from that?

I leave the picture aside, revealing the second piece of paper, which is an ownership deed, with my name on it, and all my information, lacking only my signature and notarization. My hand flies to my mouth as I realize that I almost own this house, this beautiful house that I could only dream of in my most euphoric dreams. "Fuck you, Hood." I mumble through greeted teeth. This, this is going to be the thing I will struggle the most with rejecting, but I'll be damned if he thinks I will run back to him because he got me a house. I mean, who does that? What normal human being buys their ex a house as a hopeful reconciliation gift?

I gather the papers and my stuff, taking off and leaving my apron behind. "I need to go. Can you manage on your own?" I ask the girl who nods empathetically. "I will call Evelyn. Are you alright?" She asks me and I shrug. "I will be." I reply, exiting the shop.

Across the store, in the most ridiculously obvious way possible, there is a black SUV with 2 guys inside. It has been parked there every day since I started working again and at first, it made me shitless paranoid, until I recognized one of the guys from the hospital. All the while I stayed there, Calum had an army of guards outside my door, to "discreetly" guard me. Up to now, I pretended I didn't see them, paid them no mind, but today that changes. I knock on the driver's window, making the man roll it down a smidge. "Take me to your boss. " I demand and the man looks at me in totally pretend confusion. "I am sorry, I don't think I understand you." He says, looking at the other man for backup. "Oh, come on. You were in the house the day Calum was shot. And you were guarding me in the hospital. So please cut the crap and take me to wherever Calum is." I am not even trying to be polite about it, it is not on my priorities for the time being. "Get in the backseat." The driver sighs, tilting his head to invite me in. "Do you need anything? It is a long ride." The man asks me. "Just drive." I take out the documents from the envelope, dedicated to studying them before reaching the destination.

It takes a little over an hour to reach the destination, and nearly halfway through, I knew we were heading to Malibu. The car stops before a gate, one which it would be impossible for someone random to get through. It is the familiar security check to get through, the same as back in Calum's house.

The moment I get off the car, I see that the front yard is transformed from the picture that is in my envelope. It is full of freshly planted flowers, and a big, cozy hammock hangs from 2sterdy trees. "What have you done, Hood?" I mutter to myself with a heavy heart. It is all I've ever dreamed of and a bit more.

"Hello (Y/N), it's good to see you again... Calum is in the back." Travis welcomes me into the house, pointing toward a big balcony window. "Good to see me again? I thought you couldn't wait for Calum to find another glorified cum dumpster so you wouldn't have to put up with me anymore." I reply, folding my arms before my chest. Travis remains quiet for a moment, tilting his head to the side as he looks at me. "I am sorry. Truly, I am. You should go see Calum, he is on the balcony." He says after a moment. I bite the inside of my cheek, fidgeting with my fingers as I try to decide between turning around and leaving this place forever, or heading to the back to confront Calum. "Does he know I am here?" I ask but I know Travis won't kiss and tell so easily. "Go see him. Please." It is all he says. I sigh and close my eyes, bracing to see him once again.

The interior of the house is almost as beautiful as the exterior, simple and calming, with creme couches and wooden floors. It looks like something out of a Pinterest board, and the more I am in, the more at home I feel.

I exit the window and find myself on the balcony, which allows me to see the backyard and the majestic view of the Malibu beach. This is my dream house, the house that I always saw in my head when I thought of my future with Calum.

"You came." Calum's voice catches my attention, right as I began getting lost in my daydream. "Had you planned for all of these to happen? Is this some sort of a wicked game of yours, to taunt me into remembering my dreams with you?" I ask him. He is sitting casually on a little couch, a cozy little nook that will probably serve as the best place to watch the sunset. "When you love someone, you know their reactions, you know what to expect from them." He replies, leaving his little cup of coffee down. He stands up, facing me for the first time in what feels like forever. "Please... Calum, you don't love me. You've proved it when you fucked those 2 women in front of me. You didn't even stop to try and make an excuse for yourself. You didn't even stop when I was gathering my stuff to leave. This is your love, Calum? Because it sounds like a very fucked up definition of love." "I love you with all my being. I wanted you to hate me so much that you would have no choice but leave me. I thought you would be safe away from me, that you wouldn't be hurt by this life. But I was so wrong, so wrong my love." "This is empty talk, Calum. Why should I trust you? Why should I listen to anything you say?" I ask him, tears threatening to spill from my eyes as I listen to him. My heart wants to believe him, oh it wants it so badly, but my logic forbids me, it forbids me by bringing up all those violently awful memories. "You are right. You are absolutely right. This is the last I will bother you. The house is yours. I will make sure you have security here. I want you to keep it, live here, and build the life we always dreamt of building with someone who will love you. But before you throw me out, please listen to me, one last time. After that, if you want me gone, I will be gone. You won't hear from me again, not unless you want to. Just listen to me, one last time, for 5 minutes, no more than that." "Ok, 5 minutes. I can give you that much." I reply, leaving down the envelope I have been holding for the past hour.

"I lost half my life when they told me you were abducted. I wanted to burn the city to the ground, knock down every door myself until I would find you. And then I lost all hope when I saw you bleeding in that room. I wanted to put a bullet through my skull, and take myself out because a life knowing you are dead is not worth living. I was the one who carried you out of that place, you know. I took the shirt the man who shot you was wearing and I pressed it onto your wound, and I carried you out, and I promised you..." He stips to sniffle and pinch the bridge of his nose, trying to pull himself together. For some reason, for some fucked up reason, I understand him. When I saw him with a gun wound in his arm, all I wanted to do is rip the shooter's head off. It must have been even worse for him, seeing me passed out, worn out, halfway dead. "I promised you that I would fix everything if you didn't die in my arms that day. I promised you I would prove my love to you all over again if you opened those beautiful eyes of yours and looked at me again. At the hospital, I was barely functional. I think I threatened the surgeon I would cement him if he didn't fix you if he didn't bring you back to me. When he brought you out of the surgical room, and he told me you would recover just fine, I hugged him, thanked him, and swore I would cover his hands in gold. You were alive, and that's all that mattered to me. I stayed with you while you were sleeping after the surgery, I held your hand so I wouldn't lose my fucking mind. It tore me apart when you told me to leave, but the last thing I wanted to do was upset you, so I sufficed to learn about you from the intel I left there, and from your doctor, who probably took pity on me. We've worked with him in the past, he usually treats whoever is shot without calling the police, but he hates my fucking guts, so I must have looked really desperate for him to pity me. I am not even sure why I am telling you all that. I don't know what to tell you, I hoped that inspiration would strike me once I began letting it out, but you are standing here, looking at me with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, and I remember I was the person who made those eyes cloudy with tears, I was the person responsible for almost shutting those beautiful eyes forever. I look at you and I remember I've hurt you and it is fucking difficult for me to forgive myself, how can I ever expect that from you?" He asks me, but the question is rhetorical. Is it bad that I don't want him to stop talking? Is it bad that I want to keep listening to his voice until the end of time? Fuck, I never stood a chance, did I? "I don't know why I am telling you all this when I should be telling you I love you. I love you. Please believe me when I say I have never loved nor ever will love anyone the way and as much as I love you."

"How did you find out I was taken?" I ask, deciding it is futile to hold back my tears. "From the moment you left that night, I had people checking in you were safe, every night. Every night I was hearing if you were alright, home, safe. I dreaded the day they would tell me you were with someone new, but I had to know you were ok, even if you were away from me. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe. I told you, I ever did what I did to turn you away from your safety. The moment you left, those women were gone. At the thought of anyone else but you touching me, I get hives. I love you with all my fucking heart, (Y/N). I never stopped, even for a moment. And I don't think I'll ever do." He admits, and I can hear it in his voice that he means it. He means it, he loves me. "That's all. My 5 minutes are up." He sighs, and then deathly silence comes between us. I can hear the waves at the beach, even from that far, it is that silent. Calum walks closer to me, leaning down to peck the top of my head before moving to get through the balcony window and back into the house.

For a couple of seconds, I am all alone, and it is the worst fucking feeling in the world. I don't want anything else in the world but him. He loves me, and I love him, and I am not going to deny happiness to myself anymore.

"Cal..." I shout behind him, getting inside the house as well. He turns around to look at me immediately, and my chest becomes heavy, my breath almost not coming out. "Don't go. Don't leave me." I beg him, not thinking of anything else but falling into his arms. Calum smiles peacefully at me, staring at me for a moment before walking toward me. "I am never, ever leaving you again. I promise you that, princess." He cradles my face in his hands softly, almost as if he is trying to test whether I am real or not, whether this is a dream and I'll dissolve to nothing at his touch or I am his again, in flesh and bone.

I decide to end this torture for both of us and lean in to kiss him, standing on my tiptoes to meet his lips. His arm wraps around me almost instantly, keeping me close to his body, not breaking the kiss, not yet. I don't know how long it has been since our last kiss, since I last felt him so close to me.

"I love you." I admit, whispering it against his lips. My fingertips graze his cheek softly, feeling the warmth of his skin under my touch. "I love you. I love you..." He repeats, holding me as close to his body as he can. "I've missed you, Calum... I missed you more than I was letting myself realize." I state, feeling my heart flutter as he lifts my chin up with his fingertips. "I have missed you just as much, my love. I don't know how I lasted that long without you." He leans in for a kiss again, making my knees weak at how soft he is with me. "I want you, Calum. I am craving you." I mumble against his lips. I can feel a tightness in the pit of my stomach, a so familiar knot that I haven't felt in so long. "Now?" He asks me and I hum, nodding my head. "Now. Please." I assure him, but he is still holding back. "We don't have to do this straight away. We can wait for as long as you need." He strokes a piece of hair behind my ear, looking down at me softly. "Please. I need you. I can't wait any longer." I know it sounds rushed, I know it is practically seconds after we admitted our feelings, but if I wait any longer, I am going to explode. I need him, all of him. I need to know we are still alright, still made only for each other. And this will be the last reassurance I will need. "If you don't want me..." I stutter, realizing that I might be bringing him to a tough spot. "Princess... You have no idea how much I have been wanting to press you against a wall and make you mine again..." He whispers with a chuckle, searching for the hem of my polo shirt.

"Still hate this with my all." He mumbles, lifting the garment over my head. "Some things never change." I reply, just as Calum brings his lips to mine. Fimble fingers make their way down my waist, looking to unbutton my jeans. "Jesus... You still have the softest skin." Calum mumbles, lowering his mouth to my jaw and meeting my sweet spot. Then he moves down to my neck, passing his tongue over my collarbone before lowering himself to my breasts, grazing the sensitive skin with both his fingertips and his lips. He moves the straps of my bra from my shoulders, lowering the cups to free my breasts. "Shit..." He mouths, running his thumbs over my nipples. "Cal..." I purr, desperate and on the edge by the teasing. He reaches behind my back, unclasping my bra and letting it fall onto the floor between us. "Someone's got goosebumps..." He whispers, kneeling before me and lowering my jeans, all the way down my legs until I step out of them. "Calum..." I groan, throwing my head back as he runs his fingertip under the hem of my underwear He kisses the soft part of my inner thigh, looking up at me with a smirk before he pushes my panties aside. "What, princess? What is it?" He asks me, bringing two fingers to my entrance. "Oh, honey... You are so wet. Look at that." He rubs his fingers across my slit, making me shiver at his touch. "Do you think it is the time to tease me?" "It is always the time to tease. Especially since I've missed how your perfect lip quivers when I do." He retorts, rubbing the tip of his finger over my entrance in circles. "Cal..." I protest, already pulsing around nothing. "Oh, shit. Fuck, I need you." He groans, getting off the floor and picking me up along with him. I wrap my legs around his waist, resting my hands on each side of his neck.

"The couch is very comfortable, you are going to love it." He comments, leaving me gently on the soft cushioning and leaning down closer to me to kiss me. I reach down to find the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it off of him, only breaking our kiss to take the garment off. My hand travels down his body, reaching the waistband of his jeans. I feel the lower part of his abdomen, making him twitch at the sensation. I slip inside his jeans, my fingers wrapping around his cock. "Oh, God..." I moan, feeling how hard he is. His cock is throbbing in my hand, and my stomach tightens at the remembrance of how good he felt inside me. "I need you inside me... Now. Please, I am begging you." I cry out, looking at him with pleading eyes. He hums, pulling my panties down by the waistband. "You are still mine, aren't you? After all this time you are still mine..." He asks, freeing his cock from his jeans. I stir underneath him, unable to keep still from the excitement. He rubs the tip of his cock along my slit, focusing on my clit and watching my breath hitch as he strokes it.

"Cal..." I cry out as he slips his cock inside me. My eyes shut as he slides in, inch by inch filling me up. His free hand rests on my cheek, his thumb stroking my bottom lip. "Say you are mine. Please, tell me you are mine." His voice is raspy, so sexy that goosebumps rise on my skin. "I am yours, Calum. I am yours." I reply, cradling his face in my hand. He moves his hips against mine, driving his cock deeper inside me and taking my breath away. "You feel so good. You feel so good, my love. My love. Mine, mine, mine." He breathes out, moving against me, thrusting in me slowly but with force. It is slow and mellow, and the sweetest he has ever fucked me. I can feel myself squeeze around him, a little in shock at how good he still feels inside me. It is like we are still in sync, after all this time, we are still in perfect harmony with one another. "Cal..." I cry out softly, bucking my hips up to meet him. "I know, I know... I can feel you." He murmurs, looking at me in the eye. I can feel everything else numb out, my eyes locking on his as he thrusts inside me, making me shiver. My stomach tightens, more heat spreading all over my body the deeper he goes. "Fuck me... Fuck fuck fuck." I moan, pressing my nails in my palm. He has found the perfect spot, the one that makes my brain fuzzy, that makes me curl my toes. "You have to be quiet, baby. We don't need anyone interrupting us." He chuckles, slamming his hips on mine with force. It is like he is doing it on purpose, like he enjoys watching me in bliss. "I don't care. I don't care, just fuck me, fuck me, fuck me." I cry out, arching my back and rolling my hips against his. "I am fucking you, princess. I am fucking your perfect, little, tight pussy. Listen to that... Can you hear how wet you are?" He asks me, his breathing getting caught in the back of his throat. "Calum, please." I whimper, bringing my hand to the back of his head, pulling at his hair as he pounds me. My leg moves to his waist, hoisting on his hip from proximity, and trying to get more of him. "Please what? What does my princess need?" He asks, pressing his forehead against mine. I can feel his lips brush against mine, his breath fanning on my skin.

"I need to cum... Please, let me cum." I whimper, trying to reach his lips. He coos at me, his hand moving down my thigh to grip on it for more force. "My girl needs to cum around my cock... Mm, fuck. You need to cum around me, princess." He taunts me, slamming inside me with his all. I need to bite onto something or else I'll be heard by every single person within a mile radius. "Oh fuck, that's a pretty neck you've got there... Pity if someone marked it." He leaves a peck on my bottom lip, before heading south to find my neck, digging his teeth into my skin. "Calum!" I sing in pleasure, my hair standing straight on my skin. "Cum inside me. Cum inside me, please." I beg, coming undone around him. There is a moment of brief, pure bliss, the only thing in my mind being how good this feels, how good we are together. "Shit, princess. So close... I'm so close to filling you up." He groans, gripping down my hips to keep me from squirming. "Cal, I can't... I whimper, jolting at every thrust. It is too much, the overstimulation nearly driving me towards insanity. "Look how good you take my cock. Fuck, we'll just have to do this all day, everywhere in the house. Shit." He groans, gluing his hips on mine as he cums inside me.

I just focus on his face, flustered and tensed, just the prettiest sight I've ever seen. He doesn't move an inch from me for as long as it takes him to catch his breath. I just touch his cheek softly, running my thumb over his warm skin in short circles. "I am never going to get enough of you, am I?" He asks me, lowering his head to peck my forehead. "I hope you don't." I reply, feeling a smile spreading on my lips. "I don't want to move from here." He sighs, turning his head to kiss the palm of my hand which is still on his cheek. "You'll have to, eventually."I chuckle and he hums in disagreement. "I don't think so... The couch seems pretty comfortable." He replies, swiftly turning us so he is now on his back and I am laying on his chest. His hand traces down my ribs, softly and carefully making his way to the place I was shot, atop my abdomen. "You've healed nicely." He comments in a whisper, his fingertips tracing the fading wound. "I am trying to forget about the whole thing and having to see it in the mirror is not really helpful. So I am slathering it with healing cream all the time." I reply, leaving a peck on his chest. My eyes land on a small detail on his skin, something that looks like a new addition to his collection of tattoos. "Is this one new?" I ask, passing my thumb over the little sunflower on his left pec. "Relatively. I got it after the breakup. Since I couldn't have you in my life, I wanted a little something of you on me all the time." He replies, making me bring my gaze to meet his.

The sun is setting on us, the sunlight that washes the room from the big balcony window casting beautiful shadows on our bodies. Calum is breathing calmly, his chest moving at every breath he takes in, almost in sync with my breathing. He is still glistening with a little glaze of sweat on his skin, his body warm, pleasant against mine. I am falling for him, but who am I kidding? I never stopped falling for him, for a man I have no business falling with. He is dangerous, but also in danger, I know that firsthand at this point. But how dangerous the man holding me with so much love can be?

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[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Sweet Dreams--Part 11

Calum and you have dance around reality for a few months now. But after Calum leaves and returns from a trip, the reality has to be confronted. 

Weeks are passing and maybe more is blooming between you and Calum than might meet the eye.

Prince!Calum x Reader Insert.

Series Masterlist

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Melvin, reads the contact name. The 11 digits that follow stare back at you from the contact record of your phone. There’s never once been a text thread. His name wouldn’t come out on your phone outside of the contact in a search. But you had your distraction. You had your time to wallow and time to let pity make a fool of you. You can’t stay there. You refuse to stay there. So you tap the phone icon. It rings and rings. It might be a bad time, you realize now, as there’s no guarantee that Melvin will answer at ten in the morning. But that doesn’t matter much now. 

Melvin answers the phone breathlessly. Your name tumbling from his lips in a rush. There’s concern in your name that paints his voice as he asks, “Is everything okay?” 

“I’m calling to ask you that, actually,” you answer. The words nearly don’t leave your throat. He’d always been the easier of the two to interact with. He cared--you saw that with Teagan and Charlie. He seemed genuinely interested in your life when you spoke of it. But you didn’t think the care or the concern he had for your siblings would make him worry about you. Maybe now you’re even afraid of what that means. 

“What-what are you referring to? Did something happen?”

You can’t get off track here. You’re calling about Diana. You’re calling to fact check the conversation from last week and to make sure they’re not drinking again. “Do Charlie and Teagan have new winter coats?”

“Uh, yes, they do. Diana and I--we got them nearly a week ago. There’s no guarantee now either that they don’t have another growth spurt, but we’re hopeful these coats will last the season and into the next.”

The more you talk with Melvin the more you realize Charlie got the gift of talking from him. At least Diana hadn’t been lying about the coats. But the bitter bite of her words rings back against your ears. “Diana called me last week,” you start. It’s  the safest way to start. 

The line crackles and you hear the sigh from Melvin. Something shuts--you hear the creak of hinges in the background. “I was worried when I saw the two ignored calls from you on her phone that something might’ve happened.”

“Is she drinking? Are you?”

“I’m not, no. God, no,” Melvin returns. His offense is palpable. He sounds as if the thought disgusts him. 

“And what about Diana?” 

A pause. Moments are passing by, the clock in your room ticking loudly as you listen to Melvin breathe. He better say no. He better answer with the same disgust. But the longer the two of you stay in silence, the more dread leadens in your gut. “I’m trying to get her some extra support,” he answers slowly. Like he might even be unsure of the words himself. 

Not an outright denial but not an outright confession either. “Could it be vodka this time that gets her to her senses?” It’s a vile question to ask. But it falls and behind it comes more vitriol. That old wound, exposed again to the elements. “Could she go zero for three with her kids?”

“Enough,” Melvin commands. It falls clipped but tired. “We didn’t do right by you and we know that. We live with it every single day.  We failed you in ways no child should’ve ever been failed by a parent. But it is not easy to watch from the sidelines now. And I don’t want to make it your responsibility to let us back in after what we’ve done,  but please, do not mock us. The closer you get to Charlie and Teagan, the more hope grows in your mother. And the more you shut her down, the more she crumbles. It’s not your fault. She’s got to get better, face the consequences of her actions like we all must do. But she is human.” 

“A terrible condition to be human, I’ve heard.” Your chest aches. It certainly still feels like your responsibility; it still certainly feels like that wound will never close up right. You still wish to every god that you could’ve had what Charlie and Teagan had. Wish you could move the stone of anger off your chest when it comes to Diana and Melvin. But you cried for them. You begged for them and it wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t enough. 

“Just, please give her grace. I’ll get her help. I will.” 

“Grace is Charlie and Teagan. You can give her grace.” 

“And what about you? Is there satisfaction in wrath?”

“Wrath is rather hollow.” You don’t know what you have anymore. There is something between contempt and regret filling you. Yet, you are tired of both of them. You’re tired of the wheel you feel stuck on. You’ve got to let it go. It’ll kill you if you don’t. 

“We hurt you. I know that. It was easy at first to keep our distance. It gets harder now—sometimes. She just needs some extra help.” 

“Then you get her help. But I don’t like knowing she’s on a spiral in the same house as Charlie and Teagan. They don’t deserve that pain. I will do whatever possible so they are not subjected to the same thing I was.” 

“As you should,” Melvin agrees. “As you should. I’ve been worried about disrupting Charlie and Teagan’s routine too much. I don’t think the kids are catching on.”

You have to tread lightly. You can’t tell him that Teagan’s caught on, as unknowingly as she is about what she's stumbled upon. But you can warn him. “Children are more perceptive than you give them credit for. You can hope. But that’s not the same as the reality.”

“Was it Teagan? What did she hear?”

“I hope Diana’s kept up with bedtime stories.”

“Fuck,” Melvin whispers. You’d never be able not to answer his question. He’d hear what you’re saying between the lines. “I can’t lose them too.” It’s soft as Melvin says it, thick with emotions you can’t see, but can hear. A true terror shakes his voice. 

Here you think is where you might reassure Melvin. That he won’t lose them. But you can’t promise that. You’d possibly be the hand that orchestrates it. You remain silent. 

Melvin fills in the gap of silence in a flurry of panicked words. “There’s a birthday party this weekend and then a field trip next week. Please give me some time. You have every right to save them from the fate that fell you. But they’re just kids. They’ll only see what they lost out on. Give-give me just a little bit more time. If things are getting out of hand, let’s arrange something then. Okay? Just give me a few more weeks to get through to Diana.”

You only remember what you lost out on too. The dances you never attended, the nights spent hoping that your parents' breath didn’t reek in the morning. Praying you had just a little bit more attention so you could ask them about field trips, tell them about the things you were learning about in school. All you wanted was a crumb of attention, more than just the plate of food at dinner. You wished you could’ve told them about the crushes, the dreams you had--that maybe one day you’d been a veterinarian as all children hope to become. Maybe even then you could’ve told them how much you wanted to paint too. 

You don’t know what’s more important, to save Charlie and Teagan from a potential fate or let them live their lives as children knowing what looms for them if Melvin is not successful. But they are just kids. They might hate you either way--if you pull them now, if you save them later. They’re just children. You don’t expect them to understand it all right now. 

“You’ve got until of November.” October’s nearing its end in another week and a half. “But if I get wind of anything that even smells like Diana’s losing her grip, I’m taking them.”

“That’s only--”

“I know. And Christmas will be right behind that. But I’d rather they hate me for ruining Christmas than letting their lives be at further risk.” Doing good might mean at times having to be the villain. A spark never knows it’s going to start a wildfire, but you’re wiser than that ember. You know the damage that could be done. You know the damage you will do as well. 

“End of November,” Melvin agrees. “I’ll, uh, we’ll have to come up with a contingency plan. I don’t know where you’re living these days. But I don’t want to pull them out of school.”

“We’ll figure something out,” you agree. Your hours at work will allow you to drop them off in the morning. But you’ll need help in picking them up in the afternoon.  You wonder if Calum would be okay to do it. Though you don’t want to interrupt or commandeer his schedule either, you’ll still ask him. It’ll take a village to help now. You’ll need to figure out where they’ll stay. You have no qualms with them taking over your bedroom in the place you’re staying. But it couldn’t be a long standing agreement. You’d need to move and give them their own bedroom at the very least. You don’t have a lot saved, but you could afford a two bedroom apartment on your own now. The first few months would be tight, but it’d be doable now. 

“Thank you,” Melvin nearly whispers. “I see how much you care for them.” The weight rounds your shoulders at his words. Is this what it means to be recognized—quiet and weighty recognition that feels like relief and lead? 

Beyond a sense of duty, you only want for them what you didn’t get. Teagan and Charlie are getting everything you wanted. Watching out for them is everything you needed. They’re children who do not deserve to be punished for what was between your parents and you. 

“It’s what they deserve,” you return. Melvin let’s you go and you blink up at the ceiling, swirling in your vision. You want them to be safe. You need it. But you still feel the whisper of Melvin’s gratitude. How it feels like thick humidity on your skin in the middle of summer. Your skin is hot and the tears caress your cheeks as they descend to your chin. As stupid as the thought feels,, you hope Melvin can find it in himself to be proud of you no matter what you wind up having to do. 

_____________________

It’s bright--the windows to the right bring in streaks of sunlight and though Calum sometimes wishes he’d opted for a slightly lighter brown, there’s few clouds today which makes the shed feel lighter. The clear skies make the deepening chill tolerable. Your slippers rest on the floor right under the easel you sit in front of. Your socked feet tapping lightly against the metal bar on the stool you perch up on. The stroke of your brush scratches against the canvas--a deep red cutting through the top left corner. 

Calum’s sure that even with your apron on the sleeves to his black and white striped long sleeved shirt will be stained forever. Not that he minds. He’d prefer to carry that little piece of you in the threads. He’ll be able to say that it’s your work if anyone asks about the stain. He’s supposed to be doing preliminary comments on this briefing. It’ll become part of the address he gives at the charity event in December, but given the magnetitude of the event it’s best to get started on these things earlier rather than later. Yet, he has no interest in the words on the document in front of him. He’d rather watch you as you gather more paint onto your brush. You stroke once, twice, and then reach for something else in the glass jar which holds other brushes and tools. 

From this angle, Calum watches the twist of your lips, fingers fluttering over the jar. Debating, he concludes--you’re debating which tool to go for next. The bottom right part of the canvas is still blank. He traces the faint line you’ve etched into the white fibers. You’ve told him that you plan to include pages from several print media types--books, pamphlets, and missing posters-- layered and attached to the canvas. You don’t want to add those yet until all the painting is done and can cry before you glue them up there to keep bleeding minimal. 

A knock sounds from the door and Calum turns to see his mum at the door, thanks to the addition of the glass cutouts in the door frame. He waves her in and she only opens the door just far enough for her head to poke through. “I don’t want to interrupt,” she starts. “Just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi, Mum. You’re not interrupting. They’ve got headphones in and I’m not really doing anything much myself,” Calum laughs. 

She laughs, sliding in through the crack. “So only one of you is being productive. But that’s alright. Rest, too, is important.”

“Something like that.”

His mother nods and shuffles softly over to you. You turn at the touch on your shoulder, slipping your headphones down off your ears. “Hi, Joy,” you laugh. 

The embrace is tight, even Calum can see how tightly his mother winds you into the one armed embrace. “The painting looks good, sweetheart. It’s coming together nicely,” Joy comments. 

“Thanks, I’m trying over here.”

“You’re succeeding. How was the feedback from the check-in?”

“They’re excited. They did ask to see what printed materials I’m using for the piece and said they were a little outdated. But they replied with some other books and materials that are more updated and relevant to their mission I could use. It was constructive at the end of it,” you explain. 

“And those pages are going here, yeah?” Joy asks, pointing to the blank corner. 

“Yeah, they are,” you nod. 

“Okay, okay. I’m excited to see where it goes. I hope you’re proud of the work you’ve put in.”

“I think I am. For right now. I’m sure once I start painting in the gold details it’s going to kick my ass again,” you laugh. 

“Oh, no, I don’t think so. It looks good.” 

“Thanks, Joy. And I finished off the last of those beets.”

“Oh, good, good. I was wondering. Did you roast them again?”

You nod. “Easiest way for me to get through them. But they were really good. Better than store bought.”

Joy’s laugh is loud, taking a firmer grip on your shoulder and tugging you into her. “You wouldn’t be attempting to butter me up, would you?”

“I’d never attempt such a thing. I always succeed.”

The shed falls into a round of laughter, even a round of small snickers from Calum as he unabashedly watches the two of you. Joy never falters, squeezing one more time at your shoulders. “Succeed, you do, I’ll admit. Don’t tell Calum though.”

“I won’t,” you promise. 

“Hmm, well, I guess I’ll leave you to work. Need anything?”

“No,” you return with a small shake of your head. “I’ve got everything.”

“Good.” Joy presses a kiss to your forehead and then steps away. 

Calum watches the way you linger, still pushed forward into where her embrace once was, like you might chase behind her. But you don’t. You lean back and put the headphones back on. But there was a pause. Long enough for Calum to see it. And he knows--or at the very least figures--what that pause means. How much you get from the small interactions with his mother. He’d be glad if you did steal his mother, as you called it, if it means that you were getting the pieces of what you’d missed.  

And it’s only a moment--the briefest of pauses. The headphones are settled back on and pick up your paints again. Joy slides into the bench next to Calum and nods in your direction. 

“Everything okay?”

“With them?” Calum clarifies, pulling the top of his laptop down as he sits up a bit straighter. 

“Yeah. With them. You’ve been a little tight lipped lately. If it’s not something you can share I get it. Just want to make sure of course.”

Calum looks back over to you. Your foot’s tapping again, the brush ever so gently scratching over the canvas again. You’d been tight lighted about it too to some degree. The only thing Calum has is that you asked if need be, could he help pick up Charlie and Teagan from school. He agreed that he could. Considering that sessions were closing in another two weeks for the holidays until January, his free time was considerably much larger than usual. And even if you needed help once sessions resumed, he’d always be able to take a recess whenever Charlie and Teagan were almost done with school to get them.  

He’s not sure what’s caused you to ask this--if you’re planning something for Charlie and Teagan, but the alternative is much more sinister. Calum turns back to his mother and she’s only watching. Her fingers are wrapping around his and he exhales. “We’re okay. But something might be happening with Charlie and Teagan. I don’t know.”

“What makes you think that?”

“They asked if I could pick them up from school in the afternoons.”

Understanding crosses her face, brows rising before she looks your way. “Parents drinking again?”

Calum shrugs at the question, but tightens his hold around his mother’s hand. He felt more comfortable telling his mother more about your situation than his dad. She was a bit more careful with what information she was given. “If anyone, it’s probably Diana. But they haven’t said anything to me. Not yet anyways.”

“Will their current living situations support Charlie and Teagan?”

“Temporarily, I’m sure. But not long term, I don’t think.”

Joy hums and it’s a sound that Calum knows well. Her wheels are turning. “Well, we shouldn’t assume. But if they need help relocating, we can help. If not here, then wherever they feel most comfortable being of course.”

“We will. We will,” Calum agrees. 

The conversation between you two had been short--that you needed a plan in place should you need it. Only as he rethinks through the conversations, does he think it was confirmation. I just need to have a plan, sooner rather than later. He should’ve pressed more about it, he thinks. But he does trust you. If there’s anything he needed to know, you’d tell him. But that doesn’t mean Calum can easily swallow down his desire to help. Yet, trust is the only way any of this will work. Choosing you means choosing trust.

“How’s the garden going?” Calum asks. 

“It’s all mostly harvested. But good.”

“Any new recipes you think you’ll try?”

Joy laughs, patting at Calum’s hand. “Oh, no, not this time around. Gave it to the staff mostly. But if you are interested, I could always use a second pair of hands for the spring planting. We can put something together.”

Calum knows that dance--dangerous as it is. He laughs. “Do you need some help right now?”

“Oh, no, no, I came out here just to say hi to the two of you. Feels like I haven’t talked to my boy properly in a few weeks.”

Calum waves her in, arms opening for a hug. “Love you, Mum,” he whispers into the embrace. 

“Love you too.”

Calum remains until she lets go first and when she does, he slides back into this original spot. “It's been rather boring lately if I’m honest.”

“Hmm, nothing from the boys either?”

Calum shakes his head at the question. “Nothing that I’ve heard.  Well, there is Michael’s birthday next month”

“Yes, yes, his mother was talking to me today about that. She said he’s just doing dinner?”

“That’s what he said he’d prefer. Ashton, Luke, and I are still working out the details and getting a table reserved.”

“Do you know who I talked to recently?” Joy asks. She grins as she speaks, a little bop to her head as well. It’s good news then. 

“Who did you talk to recently, Mum?” Calum laughs. 

“Do you remember Ms. Brenda, Joshua’s mum?”

Calum nods. He still keeps in contact with Joshua from time to time. It’s not nearly as frequent as Luke, Michael, or Ashton. But Joshua and Calum were thick as thieves as kids on the time. “I remember Ms. Brenda.”

“She told me Joshua is proposing at Christmas.”

Calum whistles. Joshua had told him that he was dating seriously and they were moving in. That was only a few months ago, maybe almost a year, but not more than that. “Wow. God, we are really growing up, huh?”

“Oh, god, you can say that again,” Joy laughs. “When’s the last time you talked to Joshua anyway?”

Calum had texted Joshua a few weeks ago, mostly to say he hoped Joshua was doing well and Joshua replied with his usual, hanging in there by my toes, but hanging. As they’d gotten older Joshua moved away from football. In high school, he’d gotten a little gig to help out at home. But he didn’t talk about it much and since, Joshua mentioned he’s swapped from trade work to an office job. But the conversations were filled more with jokes and laughter than catching up on their lives. 

Calum shrugs a little. “A few weeks ago. He said he was doing alright, but not this alright to be proposing. Has Ms. Brenda given up her banana bread recipe?”

“No,” Joy laughs. “But I’m going to get it from her eventually.”

“One of these days,” Calum teases. “If I get any more updates from the boys, I’ll be sure to share. As long as you share too.”

Joy holds up her hands, one at her chest. “Swear it,” she grins. 

“The holidays are coming up soon too. I’m sure they’ll have some juicy stories then. ”

“Never fails,” Joy hums. “Anything you want? While we’re on the topic of the holidays.”

The question does make Calum ponder. There’s nothing that he wants that he thinks could be given by his parents. His gaze falls back to you. The sun cascades down around you, propped in the almost perfect center of the room. It's a small floor plan to begin with--the shelves help give storage without sacrificing the too much square footage. But finding a good place to put the easel for you really only had a few places to go--along one of the walls that was taken up by the bench and table or go into the center. But it’s nice to have your work at the center. What Calum really wants is time with you, time where you don’t have to worry about anything, where nothing is hanging over your head.

“Something that I could get would be ideal,” Joy laughs. 

Calum snorts. There’s no embarrassment about being caught. “Can I take a rain check on that question then?”

“Absolutely, son. Absolutely. But besides the stuff with their parents, you two are okay, right?”

Calum regards his mother. The grays are prominent and continue to grow more so as the years pass in her hair. She shares a nearly identical cut to Calum’s though her sides are cut nearly as close as his. Calum had teased his mother when she first cut it that she was copying him. Joy never denied it. Just hugged Calum in tight and laughed. It’s going to destroy him when he can’t get one of those hugs--bone crushing and warm. Calum wonders if he’ll ever be able to recover from such a loss like that--death or not. He doesn’t know how you do it. How you’ve survived this long, but you do. He’s glad that for the time being the both of you can get soul warming hugs from his mother. 

 Because she’s real and present and looking back at him with the same concern she used to direct his way when he’d talk about a bad day at school. But instead of feeling like a child, instead of feeling small, he finds himself proud that he looks back into his mother’s face and knows that he’s got nothing to hide, that he can put it out on the table and she will always be there for him. He’s a little scared, how much he feels and how much of him is so willing to take the risk to get hurt again. 

“We’re okay,” Calum answers. “I told them about Nora though.”

Joy whistles, brows rising at the news. “How’d that go?”

“Better than expected.” He’d prepared for the day he told you about Nora. How it might send you into a panic or even worse might cause an argument given how some that hurt still lingers, how he still mourns what could’ve been while discovering how much of the desire isn’t broken or gone with you. But thankfully it didn’t. For all that could’ve happened, nothing bad did. 

“How do you feel about that? Now that it’s out there?” Joy asks, reaching for his hand again. 

Calum shrugs, gazing back up as a shadow passes. A few birds flying overhead, he assumes. “It feels like I’m hiding less things now. Like I can be human with them more. But it’s hard. I-” His throat jumps. Fear he can place as it thumps in his veins. “I love them. But the last time I loved someone like this…” The words are catching. He wants to get them out but the emotion seizes his throat. 

“It ended poorly. I know, I know,” she whispers in return. Both her hands wrap around Calum’s left hand. 

“Yeah. But it’s so strange. To know that this all falling apart is still a possibility but not caring as much. All I find myself focused on is what I can still experience. Like even if it does have to end, and I don’t. I really don’t want that. But if it has too, I don’t want regrets on the table.”

“Well, that sounds like something to me. Like you know what you want,” Joy returns. “Sounds like you know what’s worth taking the risks for, which in turn, means you don’t have regret.”

Calum notices the hand retreating now from his space. A bottle of water rests onto the table, on the coasters you insisted on having for the shed. “It’s a good thing I don’t have plans on leaving. I’m right here, love,” you whisper against his cheek before pressing a kiss to the stubble he knows he needs to shave. 

Calum takes his free hand and tugs you back when you go to step away. Your legs hit the edge of the bench with a stop thump. There’s red and gold paint on the end of the sleeves decorating the threads. Your fingers are stained too, but that doesn’t make Calum hesitate as he threads his fingers through yours. “You’re supposed to be painting.”

“I took a hydration break,” you laugh. He spies now the second bottle of water in your hand that’s now being lowered to the table.  With your second hand free, you reach into the pocket of your apron and unearth a clean rag and drape it over his shoulder. “For any snot.”

Calum laughs, head dropping into your stomach. “If we’re keeping score about who’s cried the most, I think you’ve got me beat.”

“I’m a water hose, sue me.” You press a kiss to the top of Calum’s head though.

The paint is tacky against Calum’s fingers. His skin will be stained red and gold too, but it doesn’t matter. He drags his thumb over yours, a soothing action back and forth.  You are there. You are just within reach. “I won’t,” Calum answers.  Your hum is reassurance coupled with the squeeze of your hand. 

Calum takes a deep inhale, attempting to commit to memory the way you smell in his clothes. The smell of paint powering over everything and yet, there is something so deeply you at the root of it--fresh like how clean linen smells. He tries to only take a minute or two, knowing that you’ll probably draw back first to head back to your painting. But you stay in the embrace. 

“You two hungry by chance?” Joy asks. “I’ll go fix us something.”

Calum nearly tells her that she doesn’t have to go. But she’s giving his one hand one last squeeze as she slips out from behind the table. Joy gives your shoulder a squeeze and then slips out the door; it shuts softly behind her. You stand, towering over Calum. But he pulls you even closer into him, hands winding around your waist. 

“You’re going to have paint all over your face,” you laugh. 

“I don’t care.”

“Is everything okay?” you ask. 

“Yeah. Just…I love you, that’s all.”

“I love you too.” The return is even and quick. You ease him out of his embrace and Calum looks back up at you. “Is now an appropriate time to make an inappropriate joke about why I’m not leaving you?”

“No,” Calum laughs. “Now is not the time for an inappropriate joke, but thank you for asking.” 

The cap on the water releases with ease and you pour a little bit of your bottle onto the rag. The touch is tender as you swipe it over Calum’s cheek and forehead. “You’ll let me know when I can, right?”

“Yeah, of course. The world needs all your inappropriate jokes.” Your work is steady on his cheek, one hand holding ever so gently against his chin. “Sorry to interrupt your hydration break.”

“Not an interruption at all,” you laugh. “How’s the speech coming along?”

Calum gingerly tugs at the rag in your hand. “You see how that laptop is closed?” You nod. “That’s how well it’s going. I don’t even need to worry.”

“Or are you too distracted?”

“Some might say those are the same.”

“Yeah, all people named Calum Hood,” you snort, before taking a sip from your bottle. Your gaze is steady. But Calum can see it, the question brewing behind your eyes. “Would I be correct in assuming that I’m the first person since Nora?”

There it is. Calum doesn’t even need to ask what you heard. “You are.” He’s sure it’s more obvious than needed but at least you asked. 

“I know I can’t promise not to break your heart. But I’d like to politely ask for the space to prove to you I’m not her.”

Calum knows you’re not her. It’s not even a comparison of people, just a comparison of situations. He’s right where he was before. And it’s all different than it was before. Less tense, more space to converse and to be. But he’s scared. He doesn’t want to fall on his face again, doesn’t want the person he cares about most taken away from him. “Since when do you have a polite bone in your body?”

“Since my sarcastic timing isn’t always well loved. And I know that’s rich coming from me, considering everything I’ve done and yet to tell you. However, still, I wanted you to know that I want this relationship with you.”

Calum knows that on an intellectual level. But it’s nice to hear the words again. “Thank you.” It feels too small a phrase for what he means. Because what he means to say is that you are right--you and Nora are two different people. These are two different relationships. But the fear has a strong hold. What he means to say is the sound of you saying that you want him makes his stomach knot, makes his toes curl, makes Calum feel like a kid again in the most innocent of ways. What he means to say is that he never wants to forget that, but he knows he’s human. So he will forget, but please always remind him. 

The kiss to his forehead is wet, no doubt to the water on your lips, but gentle. “I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear.”

If he could have you say it all the time, he would. But Calum revels in the whisper of your voice even as you slip away. He knows you’re in a bit of a time crunch. The paint will need plenty of time to dry so you’re trying to get through this with enough time to spare. He lets you go, promising him to himself that he’s going to spend the entirety of the night having you say it again and again how much you want him. 

“Baby,” he calls out, just before the headphones cover up your ears. 

“Yes, my love?” you ask, turning on the stool.

“I’m glad it’s you.”

“You’re glad it’s me?”

Calum nods. “Yeah, I’m glad it’s you.” He’s not sure if you understand, if you’ll get what he’s saying. But he is glad it’s you. Someone that got to know him from the ground up, someone that he got to know out of pure interest. He’s glad you’re who you are and that the two of you have this. Truly, what other ways can he say it? He’s just really glad it’s you. 

You smile, headphones covering your ears, but you’re still facing him. “I’m glad it’s you too.”

______________________________

The heat from the oven grazes your arms as you slip the tray onto the rack. The orange pumpkins dyed into the white dough smile back at you--gaps between their carved teeth. You hope it’s not too much--that you’re coming over with a basket of things for what might be a pretty small holiday. But you are curious--has Mevlin made progress with Diana? Charlie makes no mention of noticing anything strange. Teagan hasn’t tipped you off that more things are happening out of the ordinary. It looks as though things might be on the up and up. Yet, you know looks can and will be deceiving. Its hardly been a week but the anxiety is gnawing on your innards—a feast for it and starvation for you. 

With ease you wind the white timer for 10 minutes and set it down onto the counter. The ticking seconds are background noise for you cutting persistently through the crackle of plastic as you tear open the package of black tissue paper. The orange plastic pumpkin mirror the cookies--blackness around their gaped teeth, a hollow but practiced smile. You line the bottom of the buckets with a couple sheets and then start to toss in the socks, and stickers. They get a book to color in each, a fresh pack of coloring pencils, and Halloween pins for jackets or backpacks. Charlie gets one in the shape of a ghost and you slip a bat theme pin packet in for Teagan. 

The candy waits in big bags--an unfortunate reality that you’d waited a little too long to get the smaller bags for the occasion but Calum promises to help when you get back to divvy up the remaining lollipops, chocolate, and other sweets into bags for people on staff and their children too considering he’d gotten a hefty amount of the remaining bags as well when he accompanied you on your errand run for the baskets. Teagan likes the sweeter stuff and Charlie’s a big fan of chocolate. So you slide a bag of the respective kind of candy in front of each one of the brackets for them.

“Oh my god, a ghost,” Declan laughs, sliding in next to you at the kitchen island. 

“Boo,” you smile in return. 

“You know that you and the Prince are both adults? I didn’t suspect the two of you to be into Halloween this hard.”

“These are for my siblings,” you return. 

Declan pauses, hands having stretched out towards the back of Snickers, Reeses, Almond Joys and other chocolates.  “Oh. Well, that makes a lot more sense. Need help?”

You know you don’t. There’s only the candy left aside of their bags of cookies that you’ll be putting together after they cook and cool. “If you’re truly that bored, sure,” you offer. 

It’s an easy out, a way for Declan to slide into the bench at the table and take a load off before he works. Dinner will most likely be starting soon and you’re hoping that your timing hasn’t interrupted Declan’s work. He started to take weekend dinner shifts most often. “I’ve got time. Just vouch for me if Janet chews out my ass.”

“I hope I’m not in the way. The cookies only have like another 8 minutes or so and I will always vouch for you if Janet comes.”

“You’re not in the way,” Declan answers, but takes the bag into his grasp and pulls it open. 

You slide him a few more sheets of black tissue paper.  “I was trying to time between shifts,” you offer. 

“You timed it well. How much candy am I giving your dear old sibling? Whole bag? Half?”

“No more than half? They’ll be going trick-or-treating this weekend too.”

Declan laughs, reaching into the bag for a handful. “Oh, your parents are going to hate you for all this extra sugar.”

“Perhaps that’s the point.” Perhaps, you’re adding fuel to a forest fire. But you’ll add it. You shimmy a few extra packets of the nerds into the bucket. 

“Are they still super young? Your siblings, I mean.” Declan tips the bucket in your direction a little for you to get a better view. “Too much or too little?”

You peer onto the bucket. It’s not empty, but it does look a little sparse. “Tiny bit more if you don’t mind.  And they’re still in elementary school. Nine and seven.”

“And you’ve never talked about them before because?”

You didn’t know about them before. You were terrified of what it meant. There’s a small part of you that feels vindicated. You knew something would happen with your parents involved. You knew that if you got too close you’d wind up in a mess. But god, there’s a larger part hoped you’d been wrong. 

“It’s complicated,” you answer. “My parents and I aren’t close. But I am trying to be there for my siblings at the very least. They’re important to me.”

“Well, I--should it matter in the slightest-- think you’re killing it. This enough?”

You take a peek into the bucket. There’s enough candy that you know Melvin will be dealing with wrappers and sugar highs for at least a week. You nod. “Thanks for your help.”

“Anytime.”

“How-how are things with you?”you ask.  There’s a bit of hesitation. The timer ticks around you and with the baskets full, including the extra bits of tissue paper tucked in, there’s still something that lingers. Something that you don’t want to fall flat with Declan--like you know how friends do. 

Declan shrugs. “They’re going.”

The shrills interrupts what you think might’ve been on his tongue. Declan turns, kitchen towel already fall off his waist as he tugs on it. “Just going?”

“These extra shifts are a little bit killer, but they’re helping pay off the work I had to get done to my car, so it’s all evened out.”

“What happened to your car?”

“Brakes needed to be replaced, and new tires.”

You hiss at the answer, watching Declan slide the tray onto the aisle. The cookies are a golden color now around the edges--perfectly cooked. “At the same time?”

He nods. “Same time. I could’ve done the brakes myself but they were closing in on being dangerously thin. I was already going to have to go in for the tires so I just tacked on the brakes and figured I’d work out the money later. Was not the smartest financial decision, but it was either taking two days off from work or just one. I need my remaining PTO for the holidays.”

“Your sister’s graduation right?” He’d mentioned it once to you before but hadn’t really talked about it since. 

Declan nods. “Yeah.” It comes slow. And you’re not sure what’s causing his hesitation but he laughs with a shake of his head. “I shouldn’t be shocked you remember that.”

“Yet you are, you jerk.”

“Credit where credit is due. My apologies.”

“What is your sister studying?”

“Data Analytics. She’s got a job lined up too once she graduates.” 

A feat you know given the current landscape. A whistle leaves you. “A whiz, I see.”

“Just don’t let her hear that.” 

“Promise,” you laugh. 

“Her plan is to move out in another two years time, I think,” Declan offers. “Of course it all depends on how the market stabilizes."

“Do you know if she is looking for roommates? Could help her a little bit but it comes with its own risks of course.”

Declan shrugs. “I’d offer for her to move in with me. I know our parents are going to be a little overbearing, but it’s not cool to move in with your older brother and his roommate. But I did at least tell her that if she’s interested in my complex, to let me know. I’m only a ten minute drive from our parent’s place so she’d still be close enough to them too.”

“Sounds like that’ll be nice if it works out.”

“Time will only tell in the end. Things still going good at the new job? You sure you don’t want to come back to us?”

It’s a tease and you can tell by the way he bats his lashes. But even just the offer makes your heart leap. You think you’d take this job back in a heartbeat if you could. But Forest has its perks. There was a reason why you had to leave. “It’s good. It’s a lot more hectic than here on average. But pays the bill. Health insurance is a small step down but not that I needed more than yearly check ups for anything.”

“Good health is a fountain of wealth in the end,” Declan returns. “I’m glad it’s going well. I think Val said she tried to pop in but didn’t see you.”

“I’m back of house right now. Until I get licensed to bartend. When that happens I’ll be on the front a bit more.”

He nods, a hum falling from his throat. “Sounds like the place is still stretched thin though.”

More than a handful of times you’ve heard runners complain about how many shifts they’ve been asked to cover. The kitchen staff is pretty solid. It’d come up as you worked more than the person you took over for left because of needing to move back home for family needs. But Turner seemed to still be struggling to retain servers. You were sure that she’d train you up by now but perhaps the concerns you voiced about your relationship with Calum were keeping her from getting you onto that boat. Though, once you got on the bar you’d undoubtedly have to learn tables too. 

“It is,” you agree after a meaty pause. “But it’s not so much that I think I’m getting screwed over. I guess. I know my time will come once I move to the bar.”

“Does it make you nervous at all? To move to the floor? Given your relationship, I mean.”

“Makes Calum more nervous than me. But seeing what I have of the bartenders right now, I’d run food and take care of those right at the bar. Right now, it’s like a bridge that I can’t see enough to worry about if I'll have to cross it or not.”

You slide over to the cookies, testing the temperature with your finger. They feel cool enough and you gingerly wiggle them loose from the sheet. Declan slides you two plastic bags. “I guess in some ways it’s like not trying to stress yourself out twice about things,” Declan states. 

“Yeah,” you nod. You seal up the last four cookies for Charlie. Two more remain on a piece of paper towel. Declan takes the sheet and moves it to the sink. “Oh, I can wash it.”

With a pointed stare, Declan turns on the water and squeezes a bit of dish soap onto the sheet. “What was that? I can’t hear you over the water,” he shouts. 

You’re not sure what you expected but when he’s done, you toss him one of the remaining cookies, hoping he doesn’t drop it but hoping just a little that it tumbles. Declan catches it with ease. “For all your hard work,” you return. 

He snorts. “Thanks.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Oh, anytime as long as I get fed cookies at the end of it.”

The door to the kitchen opens, you catch the movement from your peripheral and look up from Declain. Calum peeks his head through the door. “Ready, baby?”

“Yeah, I just finished up.” You offer Declan the second cookie as well. He waves it off. 

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll see you around.”

“I’m not going to eat it,” you laugh and Declan huffs before plucking the sugar cookie from your fingers. 

“You owe me,” he calls out around his bite. “I need advice on what to get my sister for her graduation present.”

“Call me. I’ll help. But you can’t go wrong with money.”

“Aye, yeah, I thought about that. But I want to do something more personal. As the oldest, I can do better than that.”

The bags of candy rattle in your grasp as you slip the shopping bag they’re in on your wrist. The two baskets are wrapped securely into the curve of your fingers from the plastic handles. You get Declan’s concerns. The pride in his voice makes you realize perhaps you’re less alone than you felt with Charlie and Teagan’s situation. 

You nod at Declan. “We’ll cook up something. Be thinking about what she likes or what she needs. Text me whatever you think of and then we’ll grab coffee or something to solidify a plan.”

“Thank you,” Declan grins. “You’re a life saver.”

“Don’t I know it,” you laugh over your shoulder. Calum steps in closer, his fingers brushing over your wrist as he takes the Target bag with the leftover candy. 

“Shut up. No one told you to brag about it.” 

Calum holds the door open for you. “Sorry I couldn’t help with the baskets. But it looks like you still had some help around.”

“Don’t worry. I know you had other obligations. Declan sort of forcefully helped out. In a way.”

“Declan has a sister?” Calum questions. “Didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, he does. She graduates university in December.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I didn’t realize Declan was old enough for a sister graduating uni.”

“He’s 27. So not that much older.”

The lights on Calum’s truck light up briefly and you two slip inside. You’re not sure what you’re about to head into. Though you hope it’s good news, there’s dread in the bottom of your stomach. Calum doesn’t know. You only asked if he could help pick up Charlie and Teagan from school. But he doesn’t know. 

“When’s your next day off again, baby?” Calum asks. You were off today--having spent most of that time doing laundry and cleaning out your car. But then came by after were done so that both you and Calum could go over to your parent’s place--at Charlie’s request that Calum come. 

“Uh, next Tuesday, I think,” you return. “I have to look at the schedule again.” You take a picture of it when it gets posted. You can only imagine what haunts you in the photo album of your phone should you ever go back through it more thoroughly. 

“When you do, can you let me know? Next month we’ll need to schedule a fitting for outfits to the auction and banquet. It’ll be pretty straight forward for me. But I know they’ll want to do your measurements, talk about what you’re comfortable wearing and show you some pieces. It’s….going to be a lot. But it won’t take the whole day.”

That part you hadn’t considered. Though you were still working on the painting religiously in the evenings, the banquet was being pushed further and further down on your list of concerns. Having to actually go was a dream, or perhaps you held onto some delusion that you wouldn’t have to go. Though you definitely did. “I’ll let you know,”you return. 

“I’ll be there, the entire time,” Calum promises, a hand on your knee. “It’s really not bad. If you want, we can sit down together and look at stuff to help you prepare. Brands, maybe colors, silhouettes and such.”

“That would be nice.”

“Of course, baby. I’d be happy to.” 

The first part of the journey is smooth, the tires gliding down the road. Calum seems to find a sense of content with his hand on your knee, a gentle gliding up to the middle of your thigh and then a slide back down. Rhythmic in a way that you’re partially sure it’s not conscious. It feels unbothered, unworried in a way that only the subconscious is capable of doing. And the longer his palm slides along your denim cladded knee, the longer you think about the mess Calum could be walking into. He might already suspect, but it is still your responsibility to be transparent, to tell him what’s going on in your life even if it’s hard, even if it’s tiring. 

“I want to say thanks,” you start, capturing Calum’s free hand for a moment to give it a squeeze. “For agreeing to help me with my siblings. I do know I need to explain what’s going on right now. It’s just hard—I guess it’s also shame. But Teagan noticed that Diana missed tucking her in a few nights back in August or so. And things just sorted to feel off with how pushy she started to get. Melvin confirmed a couple weeks ago that she’s drinking again.”

Calum hisses, his hand squeezing against your knee. “I am so sorry, baby. That’s so awful.” 

“Melvin asked for some time to get her more help. He’s worried about disrupting too much of Charlie and Teagan’s schedule. I gave him until the end of next month to make progress with her. But if she’s not better, I’m taking them in for a little bit.” 

“Outside of pickup from school, what other help do you need? I-there’s-whatever you need, I want to help.” 

You know Calum’s being careful. You can hear how much might be behind those words. “We might need a room at the palace if that’s okay. I don’t know how suitable my room is long term. Until my lease is finished and I find a two bedroom apartment.” 

“We have space. That’s not a problem.” 

Your cheeks are warm. He says it so easily like he doesn’t have to think. And some in ways he probably doesn’t have to. But the deep pressure of his hold tells you that he means it deeply. “Thank you.” 

“Of course. I’m really sorry that this is happening. To them. To you all over again in a way. All three of you deserve so much better. But I think you’re doing what you might’ve wished someone did for you. And that in and of itself is incredibly powerful.” 

The tears burn. You watch the way the highway signs wave in their wake.  It’s not exactly what you’d want, though maybe in your younger years you did wish someone to save it before it started. And you can be that light. You can be the hero that your siblings need, even if they’ve never wanted for one. “I just hope they don’t hate me.”

“I can sympathize with that fear, baby. They’re kids right now. They maybe won’t get it immediately. But when they get older, you can explain more. And maybe you and Melvin find a way to frame it so it doesn’t seem so bad right now and they don’t take it so hard. And I hope they don’t hate you either. I can’t say they won’t. But Charlie and Teagan seem like kids that would at the very least listen.” 

You hope. You’d beg of the universe that Charlie and Teagan at the very least listen to you, understand that you don’t want to make any changes to their lives unless it’s to improve it. But they are just kids. Temporary displeasure for more stable and permanent change seems like a fair price to pay, but you know they’ll take years to see it that way. 

“I hope,” you return softly, sniffling back the snot that threatens to slip down your cupid's bow. “I hope.”

Calum motions to the glove box. “Tissues if you need them. But I’m here. Mum is too. So is Dad. You’ve got people in your corner. I’ll talk to security and we can get Charlie and Teagan set up so they’re safe and they have a nice place to hang out. We’ll create a plan so that they’re always on time to school and picked up and for any after school activities they’re in as well. All hope is not lost.”

Hope is not lost. Just beaten and maybe a little battered. “You sure you still want to be with me?” you tease, taking out the small pouch of tissues from the glovebox. 

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. But I am going to make sure Charlie and I have the best jack-o-latern on the block, so be prepared for that.”

“Not if Teagan and I have the best one.”

“Oh, game on, baby. I hope your mouth is not writing checks you can’t cash.”

“All my checks are good.”

Calum gives a disapproving hum but risks a glance in your direction. “We’ll see about that. We’ll see. Is it this exit or the next one?”

“Next one,” you answer. “Once you got off, I’ll help more.”

“Next one. Got it. Thanks.”

“No, thank you.” 

The front of the house is dark when you arrive. There’s no lights bleeding through the curtains. There’s no flutter or wide swinging of the door as you and Calum ascend the stairs. You’re not sure what this means and from what you can see there is at least one car in the driveway at the very least. There were two--a car for Dian and Melvin each. But you’re not sure who drives what. It feels a little pointless to knock on the door, but you do so anyway. It sits unanswered for a minute or two. 

Calum’s hand rests gingerly in the dip of your lower back. “Want to try the door bell?”

It feels silly to think you haven’t had to use the doorbell in months. But you wait a moment more and then reach for it. The toll rings out, so much so that even you hear it from behind the closed door. The seconds pass and you don’t hear anything. Melvin had told you to come at this time. You worried nothing had happened in the meantime but a few seconds later you catch a faint call, “Coming, coming!”

Melvin smiles as he opens the door. There’s light but from deeper in the house, from the kitchen you think. The front of the house is dark. “Uh, we’re in the backyard,” he notes, pushing his glasses back up on his face. 

You nod and step inside. “Okay.”

“That’s cute,” he comments, pointing down to the buckets in your hand. “For Charlie and Teagan?”

“Uh, yeah. There’s a lot of sugar as a warning.”

“To be expected,” he laughs. “Just head straight back. I’ve got to run upstairs and I’ll be right back down in a minute.”

Calum slides in around you, giving Melvin a passing greeting before taking a couple steps further ahead of you. You watch Melvin though, as he ascends the stairs one hand on the railing. He moves quietly though you distinctly remember the sixth step always having a little bit of a squeak to it. So far, there’s no Diana. Not that you can see but you know you’re staring too much when you notice just how Melvin skips over the second noisiest step too. 

“Ready?” Calum questions. 

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” you return and then catch up. “It’s just this way.” You lead Calum deeper into the house, past the living room and kitchen to the sliding glass doors. Charlie and Teagan sit at the wooden bench in the backyard, two pumpkins resting already on the table on top of newspaper. The big kitchen trashcan sits outside--ready and lined with the black garbage bag. 

The two turn at the sound of the door sliding in the grooving, faces immediately brightening up when they spot you and Calum. Teagan slides out and rushes up the porch steps. “Hi!” she laughs colliding into your lower body. 

“Hi,” you laugh in return. 

Charlie follows up behind his own cheer leaving his throat. You wrap him up in a hug as well. But as you do, you pause. He’s hitting the middle of  your stomach now, and creeping towards your chest maybe. Just a few weeks ago he was maybe just starting to hit your waist. But now you feel it in your bones. In the next couple of years, you’ll be looking him directly in his eye. It would break your heart for it to be sooner, but the longer you take in the extra inches, you think it might be sooner.

“You’re getting so tall,” you marvel. 

Charlie laughs. “Yeah, I guess so. The basketball coach asked me if I’d considered joining the sport last week.” 

“No more baseball?” Calum questions, slinging his arm around Charlie’s shoulders. 

“Never giving up on that. But I might consider basketball too. If they don’t share the same season schedule.” 

You know you shouldn't be shocked. It’s supposed to happen. They’re supposed to grow up. But as Charlie collects his basket full of goodies and carries on back to the table, you find yourself still in awe of how much he’s grown. They won’t be little forever--a terrifying thought to have. But they still laugh, digging into the baskets for their first pick of candy. 

“We’re supposed to wait,” Charlie notes, warning Teagan of some previous agreement. You think you hear somewhere in there where his voice cracks too. Maybe it’s just in your thoughts. There’s no way he could be headed towards puberty young. You didn’t.

She huffs, but places the box of Nerds back onto the table. “You could let me slide.”

“No, Dad said to wait, so we wait.”

“Where is Dad anyway?” Teagan questions. Her gaze falls behind you back towards the house but when she doesn’t seem to garner enough for an answer she looks back to you. “You going to help me destroy Charlie and Calum from over there?”

The shock glued your feet. You hadn’t made it from the bottom of the steps of the porch but you soldier on and settle onto the bench next to her. “No, sorry. Any ideas on what you want to do with this here pumpkin?” you ask with a slap to the side. It’s a dull thud, but the gourd is still firm under the weight of your hand. 

She nods, reaching for a stack of papers. “I drew up some ideas at lunch. Which one do you think is best?”

As you begin shuffling through Teagan’s ideas, you can catch the murmur of Calum and Charlie discussing too. For a brief moment, you lock in again on Charlie’s voice. There’s nothing there, not another crack. It’s enough that you think you could convince yourself that you imagined the earlier sound. But you know it’s a fruitless wish. So you zero back in on the four sketches--one has furrowed brows and though the brows aren’t quite even in the drawing, you do like the added touch. You slide it out towards her. “I like this one.”

“That was my first choice. But I liked this one too a lot.” She reaches for the drawing with the word, Boo written in a speech bubble out from the pumpkin’s mouth. 

You look back up to her pumpkin. Charlie’s chosen pumpkin is shorter and wider, which you think would fit the words a bit more. But Teagan’s pumpkin is much taller and a tad bit narrower. The word would inevitably wrap around the side. “I think given the pumpkin you’re working with this one is the best bet,” you return, holding the picture in your hand up a little bit more. “The pumpkin’s a bit too narrow for the word. But if you really want it, we can try to make it work.”

Teagan holds the design up to the pumpkin, eyes flickering up and down from the picture to the pumpkin, around the edges of it. “I think you’re right.”

“Save that one for next year, if you want. Then we can make sure you get the right size pumpkin for it.”

“There’s also the tiny pumpkins we’re going to paint too today,” Teagan begins, “so I’m sure I can use that design on one of them.” She points to the side of the table you’re at but there’s nothing a top of the table so you look down and spot a collection of six mini pumpkins waiting. 

“Oh, yeah, that works too.” 

The four of you wait for another minute or two, but you can see how antsy Teagan and Charlie are getting. They fidget near their boxes of candy and near the tools assembled on the table for carving. Melvin made it sound like it would only take a minute or two. It settles into your gut that Diana’s the reason for the hold up. And behind that lead is bile at the realization that Melvin may not be getting to her. If your lungs could collapse at a thought, this would be their undoing. 

Charlie looks back to the house. “I’m going to go look for Dad,” he states. 

It flashes before your eyes--how he might discover Diana drunk, Melvin doing his best to coax her from the glass, or worse, an argument. His world would crumble in an instant. You know that it might be the wind to bring the house of cards down and it might make whatever you do in the future make more sense, but you call out his name instead. He doesn’t need to be dropped into reality just yet. 

“We can get started, if you want. I think Calum and I count as adult supervision,” you tease. “Even if just barely on Calum’s part.”

“Excuse me?” Calum laughs. “I have been well into adulthood for quite some time now. Not nearly as old as you, but it still counts.”

Charlie laughs at the exchange. “No, but like, we always do it with Dad,” he counters. He’s not moved closer back to the bench, hovering in the few feet between the bench and the deck steps. 

“You can blame me,” you counter, nodding for Charlie to come back. “C’mon. Teagan’s got ass to kick--yours specifically.”

“Oh no, now that’s unfair,” he retorts, inching back towards the table, back towards safety. “And you owe money to the jar.”

“Add it to my tab,” you grin, sliding him an apron. 

“Game on,” he grins. Devious as it is, you count this as a win. You know the trouble won’t get smoother, won’t get easier, but Charlie doesn’t need the veil torn down just yet.

As you help Teagan into her apron, you notice her own concern, the flickering of her gaze back up to the house. God, what you wouldn’t have done to save her the first time, when she snuck down to that kitchen and caught those few seconds of the cabinets slamming. 

“Do you want to scoop or cut?” you ask, trying to pull her back. You can save her now, even if it’s only for pumpkin carving. “After we get the outline done, of course.”

“I’ll take a stab at the cutting.”

You snort at the pun, but nod. “If it’s too tough, just let me know and I’ll take over.”

She nods and takes the sharpie with ease to begin outlining the brows, eyes, and mouth of her jack-o-latern. She works with little hesitation until she has to make the brow on the right with the one on the left. Charlie and Calum laugh from their side of the table as Charlie works to get the knife through the thick rine.  

“Please watch your fingers, yeah?” Calum states as Charlie works. 

Teagan slips out from the bench and takes a couple steps back. You watch her and she tilts her head just a little. “I can’t get the brows straight for the life of me,” she laughs. 

You lean over to get a more straight one look. The right brow is just a little lower than the left. “It’s now an aesthetic choice. Adds to the character,” you offer. 

She snorts. “We can call it that.”

As she returns back to her spot, you hear the slide of the glass doors. Melvin slips through but pauses with the door not fully closed behind him. You see it, the flash of fear and disappointment over his face. It makes you wonder if he ever consider that even this particular path of action would have its own cost? The hand of the universe is always perfectly balanced--for every x that is solved, there is a z. 

The two of you lock gazes, as you stand to help Teagan with getting the gourd open, and you know that Melvin’s truly not prepared. Neither are you. The two of you are wading in the same sea. Neither one of you has a buoy, neither one of you have a life vest for what’s coming or what’s already here. The difference between you and Melvin are merely only the reasons that brought you into this stormy sea. You already know the cost of every choice. You already know that every action you take or don’t take will come with its own weighty consequence. You know the cost of keeping Charlie from going inside is that when the truth does come out, it will destroy him tenfold. You know when you take them in, when you do what you must do, there will be anger and resentment. As much as it scares you, you know you’re going to do it--regardless. You don’t know how to navigate those feelings. You don’t know how to live with the fear of what you know must be done. But you will still do it.

Does some part of this feel like deja vu for Melvin? Not that you envy his position. He is at the crossroads of his own impossible trolley problem. If Melvin wanted to save his wife, save the mother of his children, Charlie and Teagan  would become the sacrifice. If Melvin wanted to save his two youngest children from the same fate that fell upon you, his wife would become the sacrifice. You watch the crushing reality swallow him whole. You’ve never seen true horror on someone’s face until now. Until Melvin watches as you work the knife through the flesh of the pumpkin and the foundation of a tradition cracks. 

You could and would do whatever necessary to protect them. You wish you could tell him, say to him that this is the moment of sink or swim. This is the very second to decide if he’s going to let Diana’s own choices destroy what he’d worked so hard to build. But you’ve the rest of the rind to get through. There’s Teagan waiting eagerly to your right with the spoon to scoop out the innards of the pumpkin. So you look back down to the work you’re doing, sliding the knife through the tough outer flesh and resign yourself come the end of November, even if you have to sink, Charlie and Teagan will still swim. 

You can only hope Melvin’s accepted that fate too.

#calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #calum hood imagine #calum hood series #prince!calum #calum hood au #calum hood x reader #calum hood x gender neutral reader #prince!calum au #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5sos fic #5sos fanfic #5sos series #5sos imagine #sweet dreams #h writes

[nimrats]

STAR OF THE NIGHT ━━ 00. people watching

calum doesn’t know why he’s at a fashion show, of all places.

sometimes, although he’s considered a famous guitarist due to the band, he forgets the first part. famous, i.e. being invited to fancy parties, award shows, places he would never have found himself if it weren’t for his status. yet here he is, glass of fancy champagne in his hand as he stands with ashton who he’s letting do most of the talking to another musician at the after party. calum knows who he is, heard a few of his songs throughout the years, but he’s not focused enough on anything to care about what he’s saying. luckily, ashton is used to him letting him carry the conversation when meeting new people.

his focus is on practically everyone else in the room, mind on autopilot as he people watches. he saw a girl, one of the models from the show not even an hour before, making out with some celebrity he knows he’s seen on a billboard before. another girl is clearly not interested in the conversation she’s having with someone he doesn’t recognise, but the smile on her face stays put until she can eventually break away from the conversation. he doesn’t know what he’s looking for, just letting his eyes flitter around the room as he casually sips at his drink.

then his eyes land on her.

he recognises her immediately, she’s changed out of the last outfit she wore on the runway, most of the models had. but if you had asked him, he wouldn’t be able to recount what exactly she was wearing. for him, the appeal was her alone. her dark hair had been straightened as it fell past her shoulders, white dress swaying against her thighs as she walked impressively well in the high heel stilettos she wore. she smiles at people as she greets them with her red coated lips and incredibly straight teeth, one of the waiters immediately passing her a drink. he doesn’t know her name, but he knows she’s the star of the night. whether it was just to him, or the rest of the audience too.

to her, the after parties are the worst parts of her job. she can stand on a runway with ease, has learnt to feel comfortable under prying eyes staring at every superficial part of her body. one thing elsie finn had not mastered, was interaction. she knew she had to uphold appearances, pretend to be interested in whatever some fashion designer had to say so that they’d consider her in the future for a job. her livelihood was something she was proudly good at, even though some would say it wasn’t hard to do in the first place. but she would always feel out of place in a conversation with someone that doesn’t really know her, which is why she had gone to find her getaway place she often resorted to.

last thing she expected was to find someone else on the, what she thought, was an undiscovered balcony getaway on the third floor of the mansion they were in. she had found solace leaning against the railing at previous parties she had wanted to get away from, having been there many times before for similar events. but she had never been accompanied by anyone before. and she definitely wouldn’t have expected the stranger on the balcony to become such an important figure in her life as time went on, but life was funny at pairing people together in that way.

◂◂ㅤㅤBACK TO MLIST ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ CHAPTER ONEㅤ ㅤ ▸▸

nimrats © 2022 pls don’t steal thnx

#🧶 > star of the night ! #calum hood series #calum hood x reader #calum hood x you #calum hood x y/n #calum hood x oc #calum hood blurb #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #calum hood imagine #calum hood #calum 5sos #calum hood fic #5sos #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer #5 second of summer imagines #michael clifford imagine #luke hemmings imagine #ashton irwin imagine

[ghost-of-you]

catch 22 Masterlist - ch

regular masterlist

Playlist

Read it on ao3

And I never saw you coming.

Yes, we do, but friends don’t.

I know you're saying you don't wanna hurt me, well maybe you should show a little mercy.

Interlude...

Where did the time go? When did you become someone I used to know?

But then what?

I'll take what I can get from you.

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

You're in the kitchen humming... (Bonus chapter)

#catch22 #im doing it folks #its happening #oh shit #mywriting #calum hood fic #calum hood fanfic #5sos fics #5sos fanfic #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic

[valentiyne]

𝖺𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 716 ❀ 𝗅𝗎𝗄𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗆𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌

Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader Summary: Paper-thin walls and numerous noise complaints.

FULL BOOK: MIDNIGHT | L.R.H Warnings: None! Slight swearing if you squint hard enough Word Count: 2.8k Copyright © 2023 Valentiyne. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻

Game Night was hosted every third Friday of the month. Cramped in the new tiny apartment, 7 friends and their significant others wound up on my shitty couch shouting nonsense at each other.

The living room consisted of the old couch, my TV on top of a cardboard box I hadn't quite unpacked yet, and numerous card games.

Holding the slip in my hand, I eye the timer in front of me on the makeshift coffee table My eyes scanned the paper quickly before jumping up and snapping my fingers, "Okay okay, it's born in the water but moves onto land when older."

My friends stare at me dumbfounded, their minds elsewhere as I furrow my brows and tap my feet numerous times. "Come on guys, it's what a tadpole turns into when it's older!" I'm practically yelling now, eyes darting between my friends sitting down and the tiny timer on the table.

"A baby turtle?"

"Andddd time"

I groan in annoyance, dropping the slip of paper while walking back to the spot on the couch, and plopping down with a huff.

"A baby turtle? Seriously?' I scoff, rolling my eyes at my friends who couldn't contain their laughter at my obvious annoyance.

"Okay I'll go nex-", My friend Abby was cut short by a knock on the door. It wasn't necessarily a pound, but it definitely made all of us go silent.

We all look at each other quickly, almost mentally counting everyone to make sure it wasn't an expected visitor.

I slide off the couch, my eyebrows raised for a moment before I walk towards the door. Standing on my tiptoes, I look through the peephole to see my next-door neighbor, Lucas, standing there with an annoyed expression painted on his face. I sigh and unlock the door, poking my head out with a smile.

"Are we too loud?", I ask with innocent eyes, my bottom lip tugged into my teeth as I speak quietly. Lucas gave a friendly smile, his eyebags hidden behind his eyeglasses as he turned to point at his door, "I know it's a Friday night but I'm really busy in the studio tonight... kind of hard to concentrate when there's a bunch of girls next door squealing over....?"

I finish the sentence for him, "If tadpoles are baby turtles." I rub the back of my neck shyly, laughing almost to myself.

"Right yeah, is there any way to keep it down just a tad?"

I give him a thumbs up before we part ways- him rubbing his eyes and kicking his door shut with his bare foot and me turning around and closing it softly. My friends all huddled up behind the door, eavesdropping on our conversation, and as soon as the door shut, they all squealed quietly.

"Oh my gosh! Y/n!", My friend Abby gushing, nudging me with her shoulder harshly. "You never told me you have huge chemistry with your neighbor?"

My eyes grow wide and my hands shoot up in defense, "Oh no- Lucas? He's just a neighbor"

All of my friends' eyes were on me now, and an awkward silence fell upon us. I give a mere shrug before walking back over to the coffee table to scoop up all the cards spawled across it.

"Game night at mine next time?", Abby asks from beside me, picking up the numerous cups with mysterious liquids in them with a disgusted look on her face.

I just nod in response, shoving the cards in their rightful places before sighing softly. We said our goodbyes with platonic kisses on the cheeks and dramatic waves before I was left alone in my apartment again.

It was cold, empty, and dead silent in here- completely opposite of the neighbor beside me I'd assume. My bedroom was similar to the living room- a tiny mattress rested on the floor and my toiletries were packed away in numerous boxes I was too lazy to unbox. My head hits the stiff pillow below me and I could hear Lucas in his bedroom strumming his guitar, humming to himself lowly.

It was a little after one o'clock in the morning, but he seemed to be wide awake singing.

"some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard"

It had officially been two weeks since the game night and two weeks since he came to my door. Lucas and I would occasionally make eye contact on the way to the mailboxes or even hold the elevator for one another- but not a single word was shared between us. He was always in his own world, his head bobbing to an imaginary beat inside his head.

Every night I could hear him singing to himself softly, the wall dividing our bedrooms was as thin as paper. The occasional groan and the sound of notebooks hitting the wall distracted me on nights I needed to sleep, but I never once said anything to him. He was a musician- and a very good one to say the least. I didn't want to be the annoying next-door neighbor.

I swing my door open, looking out into the hallway and scanning each door before finally averting my eyes to his own. The wrench in one hand was held on with a tight grip while the other hand carried the TV mount at my side. I could hear the sounds of various instruments being played from behind his door, his voice clearing every few moments to restart a lyric if it didn't sound right the first time.

The hand that held the wrench swung up, knocking on his door a few times before I took a step back and awkwardly looked around the hallway once again. The sounds from behind his door abruptly stopped and I could hear his heavy footsteps making their way towards the door now. Taking one more step back, I watched as Lucas opened the door and looked down at me,

"I'm sorry, am I being too loud?", He cheekily asked, a smile painted on his lips.

"No no, you're fine.", I laugh at his innocent teasing, quoting our most recent encounter. "I was actually coming over to see if you knew how to mount a TV", I poke my head around his figure and motion towards his apartment, "but seeing as you're busy-"

"I'm not busy." He corrects me, leaning inside his door to grab his keys before turning back towards me and grabbing the box from my hand. "Let me help you out, it'll take 10 minutes tops."

It didn't take 10 minutes. Hell, It didn't even take 30 minutes.

There Lucas and I both were, tools of various shapes and sizes sprawled out across my apartment floor and a cheap bottle of wine I found at the back of my fridge.

"Lucas are you sure you know how to-"

"It's Luke and yes, I know how to do this", he grumbles nonsense to himself as he flips through the instruction manual for the third time tonight. I sighed to myself slightly, trying to keep myself from laughing by taking a swig of the wine.

"Could always just use thumbtacks"

This makes Luke laugh, his eyebrows relaxing on his face and cheeks going bright red. He tosses the manual at me, and I put my hands up to defend myself.

"I'm pretty sure some thumbtacks couldnt hold a 35 pound Tv," He holds his stomach as he rolls around my floor, laughing loudly. I roll my eyes at this, groaning and tossing the screwdriver on the floor.

"Look, it's getting late. I'll just have you come over and do it another time.", I point towards the clock, which was held up with thumbtacks, that read two o'clock in the morning.

"Oh shit, sorry I totally spaced it," Luke stands up now, gathering up his tools quickly and giving me a crooked smile. "I'll swing by sometime this week to help you, I promise." I'm smiling now, shooing him out the door quickly.

"Yeah yeah see you later, rockstar", I tease and close the door abruptly, only to be stopped by a foot in the way.

"What are you doing tomorrow?", The way his eyes glimmered in the hallway light, his hair slicked back from sweat and cheeky dimples appeared as he smiled at me.

"I have finals tomorrow morning, and I'll probably be dead by the time its over- anytime after that I'm free.", I groan dramatically and push my palm into my forehead.

Luke just nods, freeing his foot from the doorway, and gives me a thumbs up, "I'll be sure to be quiet tonight so you can get your rest." I thank him kindly and give him a soft wave before closing the door behind him.

Luke was anything but quiet. I tossed and turned throughout the night, pushing the pillow closer to my ears as I heard him attempting to sing a lyric he wasn't even finished with. if there's one thing I've learned about him in the month and a half I've known him- he was a perfectionist. He sang the same things over and over countless times making sure it was absolutely perfect.

"Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted-"

I swing my arm up, smacking on the wall a couple times before groaning and letting it fall to my side once again. His side of the wall went silent immediately, the shuffling of papers and a small mumbled "sorry" was heard.

Luke had avoided me from that point forward: he didn't hold the elevator for me nor did he come and check his overflowing mailbox.

I found myself at his door once again, knocking in one swift movement before clearing my throat. I could hear him shuffling around his apartment, a loud thud followed by a "shit, one second!".

The door opens and a dripping-wet Luke is before me, a towel tightly wrapped around his waist. I blink a few times, holding my gaze above his shoulders out of respect.

"Why are you avoiding me", I ask in a monotone voice, cutting straight to the point. He raises his eyebrows at this now, one hand sassily on his hip.

"Who said I was avoiding you?", He chuckles lightly and opens the door wider, motioning for me to enter. My nose is filled with the smell of the oven baking something sweet mixed with his charcoal body wash. I step inside with a smile, closing the door behind me.

Luke wipes the water from his face and turns away from me, entering his bathroom for a split second, leaving me standing in his kitchen.

I glance around his living room: Pictures of his friends and family are hung up neatly on the wall, his instruments are laid out on the floor around his couch, and his bookshelf is overflowing with numerous copies of musical books.

He emerges from the bathroom once again, now clothed in a sweatshirt and basketball shorts and the towel that was once wrapped around his waist was now encased in his curls.

"I was just going to invite you over actually," He laughs again, flashing me his million-dollar smile before pointing at his dining table. It was decorated with a lace tablecloth, a small bouquet of flowers sitting in a glass-decorated vase, and a plate of steaming hot pasta was laid out. I smile to myself slightly, looking back up at him before taking my seat at the table, he rushes forward, scooting my chair in for me before taking his own seat across from me.

"What's the occasion?" I ask while picking up my fork, poking at the seafood pasta that was professionally plated. If you would've told me he hired a chef to make dinner- I would've believed you.

"I was loud on the night of your finals and I felt horrible knowing I kept you up all night", He picks up his napkin and places it neatly on his lap, "I wanted to make it up to you after I mounted your TV buttt you showed up a little early", He teases.

I take a bite of my food, groaning into the fork with a muffled giggle as my eyes look up at his. The food was amazing, and the flavor was intricately picked out to perfection.

Going back, this perfectly proved my point that Luke was a perfectionist.

We found small talk, conversing over what I was majoring in and what he was busy working on.

"So the album is almost done, I just need to finish this last song," He shrugs his shoulders and scrapes at the remains off his plate. I smile to myself, looking up now with innocent eyes, "Maybe I can help?"

He stands up abruptly, turning around and opening the oven to reveal the freshly baked brownies he had made- from scratch may I add. I groan in anticipation and rub my hands together dramatically. He grabs the brownies with oven mitts, turning around and facing me.

"If you want to help me, I'll allow it", he laughs and places the pan down gently and walks towards his living room, picking up a notebook that was previously thrown across the room.

"Here", he places it in front of me, removing my empty plate and walking

The notebook was written in barely eligible handwriting, with numerous words crossed out and mental notes scribbled on the sides.

Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard so if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word. when the doors are all closing.....It's bound to get ?? all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to

The rest of the page was scribbled out, lyrics that never made the cut. I snatch the pen from the metal spiral holding the pages together and click it once.

"it's bound to get.... loud?" I scribble it down next to the question marks and look up at him, scratching his chin with a nod. His cheeks were red now, the wine flushing through his body.

"What rhymes with loud?"

I look up at him now, as he scoots his chair right up next to me to the point our legs are touching.

"Cloud, hmmm,"

"Sound," we both say in unison.

Luke claps his hands together and grabs the pen from my hands, opening the notebook to a new page and scribbling down the new and improved lyrics. I watch him closely, the way his eyes twinkled and dimples poked through when he was concentrating.

I was so screwed. I was falling for my next door neighbor.

I didn't see him for another two weeks, his side of the wall seemed eerily vacant and completely silent. I even knocked a few times in hopes he'd knock back in some sort of rhythm, but there was no response.

Hearing the knock on my door shot my body out of bed, sweat dripping down my neck and sides. I groan and tap on my phone to check the time, blinding myself in the process. The pounding never stopped, not until I stumbled out of bed and opened my door. My heart skipped a beat, praying that the blonde would be on the other side with that cheeky smile I adored.

"Hello?", I ask in a groggy voice whilst rubbing my eyes and squinting up at the person who disturbed my slumber- at 2 a.m. may I add.

Instead of a person, I was met with an empty cold hallway. I avert my gaze down and towards my door mat. There, set up neatly was a bouquet of flowers with a note tied to the front with white lace.

I smile at myself and crouch down, picking up the thoughtful gift and looking down the hallway one last time before kicking my door shut.

Y/n,

I'm sorry I didn't see you before I left. Our album releases at 2:30am today and I was supposed to leave at 2... I just knew I had to leave you something on my way out. I hope you like the flowers I picked out my mom helped me.

I'd have probably sent you the link to the album by the time you finish reading this note.

I'm going to be all over the world, touring and doing what I love. I can't wait to be back home and see you again, i'll make sure to facetime every change I get.

love,

your rockstar

I could hear the familiar ringtone from my bedroom, alerting me that Luke was a man of his word. I wipe a few stray tears and make my way to the bedroom, snatching my phone up with my free hand and clicking the link he had sent me.

This is the song I spent the last 3 months working on, keeping you tossing and turning until finally you perfected it.

Mp3.ifwallscouldtalk.demo

#5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #luke hemmings #5sos #ashton 5sos #calum 5sos #calum hood #luke hemmings x reader #michael clifford #calum hood fanfic #luke x reader #luke hemming imagines #luke 5sos #5 secs of summer #ashton irwin fic #5sos fic #five seconds of summer #calum hood imagine #calum hood 5sos #michael clifford imagine #ashton irwin x reader #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum smut #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford fanfic #michael clifford smut #luke hemmings x y/n #five seconds of summer fic

[sunshine-daisies-library]

emergency contact | calum hood x fem!reader

FUCK this took so long and took so many twists and turns but i have finished lads

summary: you end up in the hospital after an accident, only to find that your emergency contact number hadn’t been updated. you are yet to find out if it’s a blessing or a curse. 

word count: 8.9k

warnings: self doubt, talking down about oneself, she/her pronoun usage, swearing, breakups, angst, drinking, car accident, hospital mentions, injury mentions, mentions of weed, partying, fighting

author's note: it might be rushed at the end and there's no set timeline of events, so it might not align with the true events IRL.

i also would like to say that we support girls here! no hate toward anyone, girls support girls!

In defense of yourself, you hadn’t expected to be back in Los Angeles so soon. Nor had you anticipated an accident like this to update your contacts on your phone. It was on the back of your mind, yes, but you had intended to change your emergency contact list on your phone for events like these. It was something you’d remind yourself occasionally, only to push it off for the next day, then the next day, then forget about it altogether. 

And perhaps you were too cowardly to change the list. You didn’t admit this to another soul since it had been nearly a year since the two of you broke things off. Your friends time and time again had persuaded you to put yourself back on the market, to get over the musician. But how could you? You had dedicated the best years of your life to him, nearly six of them. You thought you were going to marry the man, but life had other plans. 

That being said, you still loved him. The small act of removing him off your emergency contacts list felt so final to you. Like that was the end of your sad little love story with him. Truth be told, it was the end. It was the end from the moment you broke things off with him. You were just too stubborn to admit that to yourself. 

It was your doing, wasn’t it? You were the one to tell him it was over. He had just gotten back home from their tour and went to greet you with open arms. You had been wretched enough to deny him that, pulling away immediately. You ignored his eyes when you told him you were tired of your lifestyle. Of waiting on him like a dog for him to come back from tour. Of relishing that one month of being together like it was the last thing on earth, only for him to leave once again for tours or writing retreats. 

And most of all, you were tired of not feeling enough for him. In the world of popular and beautiful stars, why did he stay with you? Calum never made you feel so ordinary, not on purpose, at least. You had nothing to offer him other than your love. You feared that wouldn’t be enough in the end. The more years that passed, and the closer the possibility of marriage became, you thought it would be better to let go of him first before he ended up resenting you for not choosing someone better when he had the chance. 

You didn’t listen to his pleas for you to stay. Or his professions of love for you, or how his promise to leave the band entirely if it meant you staying. You felt so cruel to let someone who loved you so much go so easily. He was willing to give up his music for you, so how could you ever claim that you were second best to his music? 

But that was the very thing, you were afraid. He loved you so much that he was willing to let his entire life go for you. You couldn’t let him do that to himself, to let go of his happiness. But you had enough self dignity to know that you deserved more out of life than waiting in an empty home to fill up again. 

—

Calum wasn’t sure what to make of the phone call he received just a moment ago. He never thought he’d hear your name again, much less be summoned to the hospital to see you. 

“Mate, why are you still here?” Ashton asked, tucking away his drumsticks. “The nurse called you a half hour ago. Aren’t you going to see her?” 

“I don’t know,” Calum uttered truthfully. “It’s been so long since I last saw her. It was probably a mistake, right? Why would they call me up?” 

Michael rolled his eyes from the couch where he was tuning his guitar. “Because you’re still down as her emergency contact,” he drawled sarcastically. 

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious,” Calum deadpanned. “I mean, why would they call me and not her parents or something? Or her new boyfriend,” he muttered under his breath. 

Luke approached the group from the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair. “Easy there, tiger,” he teased, grasping Calum’s shoulders from behind. “One might assume you’re jealous.” The youngest of the group quickly dodged the bassist’s shove, laughing while doing so. “To calm your worries, no, she doesn’t have a new boy in her life. And her parents moved to the east coast three months ago so they can’t come over.”

“Well aren’t you the stalker,” Ashton snickered. 

Luke shot the drummer a glare. “I’m not a stalker,” Luke defended himself. “In case you actually wanted to know, I still keep contact with y/n. At least Sierra does for the most part. Though, last time I heard she was in Boston.” 

“Boston,” Calum spoke up in confusion. “What’s she in Boston for? And how did she end up here?” 

Luke clicked his tongue, a knowing look on his face. “If you want to know, you can ask her yourself,” he sang in an annoying tone. 

Michael set his guitar down and stood up in defense of his friend. “While that’s true,” he began. “What about..you know?”

“What about “you know?”” Ashton piped up. “There’s no harm in Calum going. She could really be hurt and need someone with her. If what Luke said is true and you’re the only nearby emergency contact, it’s better safe than sorry that you go to her.” 

The boys shared a look with each other. In their heart of hearts they knew it was a bad idea to let Calum go, especially after everything that had happened. But a selfish part of them wanted their best friend back, so what harm was in that notion? 

“I’ll go,” Calum finally relented. “But she’s coming with me.” 

–

When Calum arrived at the hospital, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. The doctor explained it was a car accident, and although you were recovering okay you still had to be observed after minor surgery. A part of Calum’s heartstrings tugged at the thought of you alone and afraid during the accident, thinking he could have done something if you hadn’t broken things off, but he pushed that feeling down. It’s been a year; you’ve probably gotten over him and he’s started a new chapter of his life without you. 

Calum followed the nurse to the recovery room where you were still unconscious. At the sight of you, he instantly lost all air in his lungs. Frozen, the bassist stood before you with a mix of emotions flooding through his face. 

It was as though you were entirely different but still the same in some way. Your face, albeit bruised, looked more peaceful than Calum had seen of you. Hell, even before you broke things off you always had a furrowed brow or frown of some sort. It broke Calum’s heart to know that he was the cause of that stress. 

Calum sat down beside you, instantly grasping your hand like second nature. It was just as soft as he could remember, and your nail polish was chipped and stained the skin surrounding it. Calum chuckled to himself, a tearful smile on his face. He knew your nail polish was your own doing, seeing as you had always asked him to paint your nails since he had “more precision.” 

“Oh y/n,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “What the hell did you get yourself into now?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Calum jerked back to see your eyes staring back at him. “Hi, stranger,” you managed to crack a smile. “What brings you to this hospital?”

Calum choked out a laugh, his thumb grazing against the top of your hand. “Oh you know me,” he said. “Always hanging around these parts whenever I get the chance.” 

“You idiot,” you snorted, shaking your head and wincing in pain.

“Easy now,” Calum reached over to cup your cheek. “The doctor said you have a mild concussion and a sprained ankle, but nothing a bit of rest can’t fix.”

Your hand met his on your face, instantly warming to his touch like nothing had changed between the two of you. “Why are you here, Hood?” you asked curiously.

“You tell me.” Calum pulled out his phone and showed his past calls list. “I got a call from the hospital saying I was your emergency contact.” 

You dropped his hand and covered your face in embarrassment. If your headache wasn’t killing you, the sheer embarrassment was. “Oh my God,” you groaned. “I’m so sorry, Calum. I had meant to change it but I never got the chance and–”

“It’s alright,” Calum calmed you down. “Relax. I’m not mad or anything. If anything, this gave us a great opportunity to reconnect and catch up on things. It’s been what, a year?”

One year, three months, twenty eight days, and twelve and a half hours, the both of you thought subconsciously. But who’s counting? 

The both of you were. Clearly.

“Something like that,” you lied smoothly. “How are you? How are the boys? I’ve kept contact with Crys and Sierra, but I haven’t had a chance to meet with them both. I was actually planning on shooting them a text as soon as I landed here, but obviously I haven’t had the chance.” 

Calum laughed at your blunt humor. He missed that a lot about you. “I’m alright,” he replied. “The boys are great, too. They send their love, by the way. We’ve been cooped up at the studio writing and producing music, though you probably expected that from us.”

Ouch. Was that a dig toward why you broke up with him? “Naturally,” you grinned. “Do I make a special feature in this album? The trashy ex that broke up with the bassist as soon as the tour ended? You best get back to the studio, I’m sure this whole debacle has given you something to write about.” 

“You are far from trashy,” Calum countered, continuing the light banter. “And I’m not going to throw your dirty laundry out like that, I have some taste, you know.” 

“Oh come on,” you pressed. “That hoe called me back, gave me a heart attack,” you sang terribly, making Calum cover his ears. “Oh yeah she broke my heart, that’s not even the start-”

“Oi, quit that!” he laughed. “Leave the songwriting to me because good God that was terrible. Any more of that and you’d put me in the hospital bed next to you. And please do not call yourself a hoe. That’s worse than Luke calling Ash “daddy.”” 

Once your laughter had died down and you ran out of lyrics to spew, a comfortable silence filled the room. His chocolate brown eyes rested down at your joined hands. 

“Thank you, by the way,” you spoke to break the silence. “For coming. You didn’t have to do that.” 

“For my trashy ex?” he teased, a smirk dancing along his lips. “I’d do anything.” 

God why did you break up with him? He was perfect, still is. Why does he still tug at your heartstrings and make you weak with one smile. How could you still feel this way after a whole year? Do you still love him-

“Babe, there you are! This place is a maze, I could barely understand the nurse’s directions.” 

You turned your head so fast, you nearly got whiplash again. Standing before you was a beautiful girl with the most luxurious beach waves and tan that every girl dreamed of. 

She bent down to kiss Calum’s cheek swiftly, making your breath hitch without you realizing. The girl smiled at you, taking your hand -that Calum instantly dropped at the sound of her voice- and squeezing it. “You must be y/n,” she concluded cheerfully. “I’m Tia, Calum’s friend.” 

–

“They are so not friends,” you grumbled to your friends, days after the initial encounter. 

Your friends chuckled at your gray demeanor, each of them taking sips of their coffee or bites of their breakfast. After being discharged from the hospital, the band and their significant others thought it would be perfect to catch up with you during brunch. You had agreed, eager to learn about everything you missed, especially the new couple. 

“You’d be right and wrong, n/n,” Michael replied, setting his mug down. The group was significantly more relaxed to talk about the subject considering Tia needed to take a phone call and Calum insisted on accompanying her. “The way they’re friends isn’t the same as how he’s friends with us–”

“Speak for yourself, baby, Calum keeps my bed warm whenever Sierra’s out,” Luke teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Sierra rolled her eyes playfully, elbowing him in the ribs. 

“And Luke keeps mine warm when they’re both gone,” Ashton chimed in without missing a beat.

Michael sent the youngest and oldest members a glare before continuing. “As I was saying,” he huffed exasperatedly. “They’re in the weird phase between friends and dating. They met a little after the tour and were friends for a while. It was Tia that made the move on Calum, like, two months ago.”

Noticing the stark difference in your facial expressions after hearing Michael’s explanation, Crystal came in to quickly finish the story. “He hasn’t confirmed or denied anything, but they have been on a few dates. He’s taking it very slowly.” 

“That’s..nice to hear,” you slowly began. “But the more I hear about her, the more guilty I feel about feeling this way.” Your shoulders caved in as your friends shared a concerned look. “She seems sweet, and Calum and I are old news. It was my own decision to break things off in the first place.” 

Sierra reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. “Why did you break things off with him?” she asked in a quieter voice. 

You couldn’t help but notice how the rest of the group leaned in to hear your answer. “You mean Calum didn’t tell you?” you inquired the boys. 

“He just said it was mutual,” Ashton raised his hands up in defense. “I didn’t know you broke it off with him.” 

“Why didn’t you tell us she broke up with Cal?” Luke whisper-shouted to his partner. 

Sierra only shrugged her shoulders. “I thought you knew,” she responded, her hands grasping around her mug as she took a sip.

“No one knew,” you settled. “And it’s going to stay that way.” 

The group let out shouts of disapproval that were instantly quieted once Calum finally returned and took a seat. “What’s the fuss about?” he asked curiously. 

You shook your head, taking an overly healthy sip of your mimosa. “Oh you know,” you sighed. “Typical group shenanigans, as per usual.” 

“What kind-?” he pressed before being curtly interrupted.

“Where’s Tia?” Luke cut in, saving everyone’s necks for the time being. 

Calum took in a draw of breath after stealing Luke’s cup of coffee, much to the singer’s distaste. “Oh you know,” he copied you teasingly. “Manager calls, as per usual.” 

“She’s been getting plenty of calls lately,” Crystal commented. 

You tried to not show immense interest in the conversation. After all, you didn’t know much about Tia and the group had been too distracted to show you her Instagram profile, damn Michael and his random tangents. In the meantime, you absentmindedly twirled your straw between your thumb and forefinger as the conversation continued. 

“Tia’s getting a lot of public interest, what can I say?” Calum responded. “Her videos are getting more views every day. Her manager’s been calling her nonstop since companies keep reaching out to offer brand deal after brand deal.” 

Ashton let out a hopeful sigh. “Imagine having a brand deal set for life,” he pondered aloud, setting his salad fork down. “I’d adopt more goats and expand the garden.” 

“Cool it, Old McDonald,” Michael snickered. “I can’t imagine the band doing brand deals. Remember One Direction and their Pepsi commercials during the Super Bowl? Louis hated them.” 

The table laughed, recalling the memory. Recognizing your confusion regarding Tia’s profession, Sierra leaned in. “She’s an Instagram influencer and interior designer. She went to school for design but has branched out since. Last time I browsed her page she was doing promos for some yoga company.” 

“Great, so she’s perfect,” you grumbled to yourself, quiet enough for only Ashton to hear since he was right beside you. The drummer snorted, elbowing you roughly. 

Calum, thankfully deaf to your comment, nodded along to Sierra’s explanation. “She’s great,” he hummed. 

Your heart clenched at his words, but a hopeful side of yourself couldn’t help but perk at his courtness. Of course, it could be just to spare your feelings to not speak much about her. But a selfish part in your mind wondered if it was because she wasn’t his missing piece, the way that you fit perfectly for him. 

Stop that, you scolded yourself. Calum is no longer yours, you made sure of that. You were the selfish one who pushed him away. Why do you continue to torture him when he’s finally happy, no thanks to you. You can’t continue to pull him back, that’s why you broke up with him. And here you are,  falling back into old habits. 

You blinked back your tears, the tears you had so desperately fought back since the day you broke up with him. You didn’t deserve to shed these tears when you caused the problem in the first place. Instead, you sucked in a breath and maintained your rigid composure. It’s better than falling apart, which you more than desperately wanted to do at the moment. 

“y/n, you alright?” Calum asked, breaking you from your trance. 

You jumped slightly, lifting your head to face the group. Forcing a smile, you nodded. “Perfectly fine.” 

–

You weren’t sure why you were called here. After becoming mutuals on Instagram (and thoroughly stalking her pristine profile) Tia was quick to invite you out for yoga. You weren’t too keen on attempting yoga with a certified instructor, much preferring to save face in front of the already perfect girl. However, you found her nice and sweet enough to befriend despite the heartache it caused you. 

“I’m really glad you agreed to come with me today,” Tia told you honestly as you finished your session for the day. 

You settled yourself onto the mat, easing yourself into a simple stretch. “I’m glad you offered,” you replied, grunting at the ache panging slightly in your ankle. You were careful not to apply extra stress on your injured foot since it was still tender to the touch at times. “I’ve been eager to relax, especially after that accident.” 

“And you deserve it,” Tia reassured you, beginning her own routine. “Yoga’s good for recovery and stress, I’ve always tried to convince Cal into joining but he wasn’t the most graceful learner.” 

You giggled, recalling how clumsy the bassist would be. “Yeah, I’d leave that to Ashton.” 

Tia nodded in agreement. Her fingers danced down her leg as she continued to stretch. Even as jealous as you were of her, you had to admit she was graceful in everything she did (and you were sure of it with a simple browse through her Tiktoks). 

The two of you stepped out of the yoga studio, mats in tow as you continued to talk about random nonsense. On the walk back to your friend’s house -you had been staying there for the time being-, you came to realize that Tia was as genuine as they come and found it very difficult to dislike her out of jealousy. 

“So you know how Cal and I met,” Tia began, referencing the story of how the two met at an awards show. “How did you and Calum meet and get together?” 

Your mouth went dry. She knew you and Calum were a thing in the past? “I-“ you stammered. 

Tia laughed at your sudden awkwardness. “I’m not dumb, you know,” she joked. “I knew about yours and Cal’s past. He talks a lot about you, you know? More now than ever now that you’re back.” 

You had to stop the butterflies forming in your stomach. “He does?” you catch yourself saying instantly. 

Tia nodded, uncapping her bottle and taking a sip of water. “Oh yeah, big time,” she answered. “It’s really sweet to know that you made such a big impact on his life.” 

Your cheeks began to warm at her words. “He did the same,” you responded with full honesty. Tia patted your shoulder and grinned. “To answer your question, I met Calum a little over ten years ago, once the band started getting famous. I was just a senior in high school when they moved to L.A. I interned at their studio and that’s how we formally met.”

Tia gave you an impressed nod. “You guys got history,” she mused. 

You couldn’t help but smile. The memories of the past always brought a smile to your face. Dyeing Michael’s hair and staining your bathtub red, constantly buying Ash bandanas whenever you came across one you knew he’d like. Luke coming to you when he had writer’s block, and Cal crawling through your bedroom window whenever he felt homesick and wanted someone to talk to. 

“We do,” you agreed. 

Turning a corner down the street, Tia continued to ask you questions. “Who asked who out?” she questioned. “Three years of being friends turned partners was clearly not an overnight thing.” 

“It wasn’t,” you said. “It was Calum who asked me, but it took a whole lot of convincing from the boys.” You laughed quietly to yourself, recalling how he asked you to be your girlfriend. 

You heard music playing softly in the night air. You had been studying nonstop for your college finals and hadn’t seen the outside of your dorm all day. You hadn’t called the boys in a while either since they’ve been touring the world after releasing Sounds Good Feels Good. You were significantly proud of them but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss your boys. Now, hearing the soft guitar strumming from outside your window made you feel more longingful for them than ever. 

Especially Calum. You had a soft spot for the bassist, everyone knew that. You spent the most time with him when you interned at the music studio. He trusted your opinion above everyone else’s, and reached out to you the most while on tour. To say you had a little crush on him would be an understatement. The boys teased you relentlessly and teased Calum much more. They always said it was a matter of time until one of you would cave in and confess to the other. But they were wrong. You’re here in a small college dorm with no air conditioning single as can be while the boy you loved was halfway across the world. 

“Thinking of you,” you texted Calum with a heavy heart. “And the boys, ofc :P” 

You set your phone down and attempted to go back to studying when your phone pinged again. 

“You don’t have to feel so blue, n/n,” he responded. “Look outside”

You hopped out of bed and opened your window as much as the old rusty thing could go. On the campus grass were your favorite boys flashing lights from their phones at you. Calum was resting on Ashton’s shoulders, waving at you with the wild boyish smile you loved with your entire being. Michael and Luke were beside him, Michael playing the guitar and Luke grinning and filming. 

Concentrating hard, you recognized the sweet melody. It was the very song you wrote with him, Beside You. 

“She sleeps alone

My heart wants to come home

I wish I was, I wish I was

Beside you”

Your heart did somersaults at the presentation before you. You had always begged Calum to sing more for the album but the boy was too shy. It took some pushing but you helped him get his confidence up. Taking a cardigan, you ran out of your hall and joined the boys on the lawn, tackling each of them into a hug. 

“What the hell’s wrong with you!” you shouted out with a grin. You didn’t care if your yelling woke up your peers. Your boys were here in the flesh. 

“We missed our girl,” Ashton told you, giving you a strong bear hug. 

“One of us more than the rest,” Luke added with a cheeky smirk. 

Calum had long been off Ashton’s shoulders, awaiting your hugs he missed so much. You, on the other hand, hesitated to do so. 

“Come on!” Michael playfully shoved you. “We’ve come all this way, give the boy a hug!” 

Your face was on fire. The extra pairs of eyes made you embarrassed. Calum took an extra step forward, his hands bashfully in his pockets. 

“Didn’t you miss me, sunshine?” he asked you, awfully shy now after his confession of love. He was nervous he put you off and that he read the signs wrong. 

“I did,” you whispered back, equally shy. “But I think I want something more than a hug.” 

The boys let out whoops and cheers of joy as you decided to bite the bullet, grabbing Calum by the loops of his jeans and pulling him into a kiss.

Once you had pulled away, Calum’s lips formed into a dazed smile. “Be my girl, sunshine?” he asked you softly.

You pressed your lips against his once again, though this one was much shorter. “I was always yours, Calum.”

“Why did you and him end things, y/n?” Tia asked you, bringing you out of your thoughts. You seemed to be stuck in a trance these days, always pondering over the past and what could have been. 

You chewed the inside of your cheek, truly at a loss of words. What could you say? That you had been selfish and pushed him away so that he wouldn’t end up hurting you first? That you drove the knife deep into Calum, twisting it in every way shape and form out of self preservation? There was no other way to put it than that in your mind. 

“Time heals but also kills,” you told her with a broken smile. “Cal and I decided to put ourselves out of our misery and end things while they were good before it got worse.” It wasn’t completely a lie. Sure, he had no say in your ending things, but you spoke the truth about putting him out of his misery.

“Do you still love him?” she asked. 

You glanced over at her. Her eyes shone in the light, curious and innocent. She didn’t know the pain you both had endured that landed you in this position. 

Yes, your heart cried out. You love him. You love him with your entire being, that’s why you let him go. Because you’d rather kill your soul every single day of your life than stop him from reaching his life goals. If you had to go through that awful night that you broke your own heart again, you would, just to ensure that he is happy. 

Even if that meant that he would be happy with someone else. 

“He’s my first love,” you told her tearfully. “Of course I love him. But I am not his love, and that is okay with me. Life goes on, and so should I.” 

The two of you stopped in front of your friend’s house. Tia took your hand and squeezed it. “I really do appreciate you coming along with me today,” she said earnestly. “And I’m glad I got to hear about you and Cal’s history. It really puts things into perspective.” 

You smiled back at her. “Thank you for having me,” you responded. “I hope my words haven’t changed anything between the two of you. I meant what I said; him and I are in the past. I truly want the both of us to move forward and grow in our own separate ways.” 

Your butterflies in your stomach turned into fierce wasps, stinging you sharply. Lies, your heart hissed. Tell her you love him and still want him. 

You forced the bile rising in your throat down. Tia, blind to your inner troubles, continued to speak. “That’s actually what I wanted to ask you,” she chuckled nervously. She grabbed your other hand, bringing them together. 

“I wanted to ask Cal to be my boyfriend,” Tia confessed.

Crack. There goes your heart.

Tia seemed to notice the dip in your lips and immediately retracted. “But I don’t want to overstep or anything!” she rushed. “You and Cal have history, I’m not stupid enough to deny it. And that’s okay, that’s no one’s fault. If you still love him and want him, I’m not going to get in the way. Calum, well, it’s clear he loves you, too. I’ve heard countless amounts of stories about you to not get the memo. I really like Cal, I do. But that can’t go up against love.” 

This was your chance. To right your wrongs from the past and take back what you truly wanted. Calum. You could take this moment to run to his house right now and take him back, and you’d have Tia’s full support. Zero guilt. 

But why did it hurt so bad? 

No. You made your bed, you have to sleep in it. It doesn’t matter if the bed was built of blades of self doubt and hate, you have to slip into the sharp sheets and let it pierce through your skin. You created your own mess. It is you alone that must deal with it. Not Calum, and surely not Tia. 

You’ve made enough problems for everyone as is. 

You mustered enough strength to let go of Tia’s hands and instead cup her cheeks. “Tia, honey,” you whispered calmly. “Our love is in the past. I’ve missed my chance, and I have learned to live with it. I’ve seen the way Calum looks at you, and that’s something that can blossom into something beautiful. There’s no need to dig up something that has already run its course.” 

Tia’s lip trembled at your words. You nodded carefully. “You don’t need my permission or anything to date Calum. You don’t owe me anything. You both deserve to be happy, and clearly you make each other happy.”

“Are you sure?” Tia asked. “I promise you, it won’t hurt my feelings or anything if you still want him.” 

“No, Tia,” you reassured her, despite the burning feeling in your chest. “Please, make him happy. Make him happier than I could ever make him. He deserves that much.” 

–

Two weeks have passed since your encounter with Tia. Last thing you heard was that the two were very happy indeed, but you didn’t hear if they made it official. You had plenty of dates with the girls, but you insisted on changing the subject whenever they brought Calum up. You feared that if you heard about him one more time, you might burst into tears or do something stupid. 

You finished up your work from the office in your friend’s house. Grateful to be able to work from home for the time you stayed in L.A., you had to admit that sitting on a chair from 9 to 5 made you quite sore. Eager to stretch your legs, you decided to take a walk to the local park. 

However, it wasn’t any random park. It was the place you and Cal used to have endless dates when he was back from tour or the studio. You’d lay on the blanket he took from his apartment at the time and stare at the stars. Back when you both didn’t have much, you’d snack on soup crackers you took from each time you went to the diner across the street and share a can of Coke Cal took from the vending machine after work. So many secrets were shared at this park, and so many memories were made, too. 

“I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who still frequents this place.” 

You jumped to see the last person you expected at this place. Calum gave you a bashful smile before sitting beside you on the grass. You took in the last hour of sun beaming down your skin before the sky went dark, closing your eyes and tuning out the sound of the infamous L.A. traffic. 

“How can I not?” you quipped. “This park is the only place in L.A. that isn’t stuffy or gross.”

Calum let out a laugh, quietly agreeing with you. “So what brings you here, Hood?” you asked, nudging his shoulder. 

The bassist could only shrug his shoulders. “Could say the same about you,” he hummed. “Sometimes I like to sit here and write music. Other times I just sit here and listen to the ambiance.” You nodded, crossing your arms on your chest and making sure to keep a safe distance from him. His touch was mesmerizing, but you had to remind yourself that he was no longer yours. 

“This place reminds me to stay grounded,” he told you truthfully. “When I get too in my head, I always go here, even after we broke up.” 

You dropped your hands to the grass, braiding the blades absentmindedly. “I’m glad,” you spoke up. Calum looked over at you, awaiting an explanation. “It’s too good of a place to let go after a silly little relationship.” 

“It wasn’t a silly little-” Calum fought back. 

“Let’s not talk about it, Cal,” you sighed exasperatedly. 

Calum instantly frowned. “Why not?” he pressed. “You never seem to want to talk about the good old days.”

“Because it wasn’t “the good old days,”” you insisted, lying through your teeth. 

Calum let out a stubborn huff. “Now that’s a lie,” Calum shot back. “But whatever, I won’t push.” A pregnant silence took over the two of you as Calum tried to find something to say. “Have you found yourself a new boyfriend yet?” he decided to ask. 

“Calum-” you began.

“You said not to bring up the past,” Calum argued. “This is the best I can do.” 

You shook your head at his words, giving in nonetheless. “No, I don’t,” you answered. 

“Are you not ready for one?” he asked. 

“I-” You took a moment to find the right words. “I need to work on myself before moving forward with someone else.” 

“Well, I don’t get that,” Calum commented with a snort. “You’re perfect, what could you possibly work on?”

You choked out a dry laugh, though there was no humor behind it. “Quite a bit, I’d say,” you confessed. “Calum, I was a mess, I still am. I can’t put someone through that again.” 

“You didn’t put me through anything,” Calum persisted. “And now that you mention us, I can’t recall anything that you did wrong in that relationship. It was all me.”

“No Calum!” you raised your voice, standing up abruptly. He quickly followed, standing up to meet your frustrated, tired eyes. “It was me. And I’m tired of you insisting otherwise.” 

“You said that I was always gone,” Calum reminded you, his voice matching the same volume as yours. “I don’t see anything that involves you in that.” 

You threw your hands in the air. “Because I was needy!” you exclaimed. “And I was pushy, and I hated being alone all the time–”

“But I’m right here!” he yelled back. You took a step back in shock. He was never one to raise his voice at you, even when you fought in the past. It was your throat that got raw in those arguments from having a shouting match against yourself and losing hopelessly. “Goddammit y/n I’m right here. And I promised you that night that I would always be here if that’s what you wanted.” 

Tears began to stream down your face as you pulled your hair in anger. “You don’t understand, Calum,” you cried out. 

“Then help me understand!” Calum took a step closer to you, taking your hands in his. His brown eyes were desperate, searching yours for an answer. “Please, sunshine, let me in.” 

For a moment, you almost faltered. You nearly gave in at his sweet words and use of that old nickname. But Tia remained in the back of your mind, and guilt sunk in once more.

You released yourself from his touch, looking away from his eyes. “You can’t call me that anymore,” you whispered to him. “I can’t, Calum. I just can’t.” 

Calum watched you back away hopelessly. “y/n,” he sighed.

“I’m leaving for Boston in two days,” you told him. “I’m sure Ash told you that already, though. I overstayed my welcome at my friend’s house. I should start packing.”

The bassist followed you to the gate of the park. “But I feel like we should talk about this,” Calum pleaded. 

Your fingertips grazed the gate, the cool metal sending shivers down your spine. “I’ll see you at the party, Calum.” 

– 

When you told the boys the date you were going back to Boston, Ashton jumped at the opportunity to throw you a goodbye party. In addition to catching up with you and spending every moment available with you, the boys insisted on planning the “biggest party of the century” for your departure. 

“I still don’t see the necessity for all of this,” you told the three boys with a shake of your head. 

“Trust us,” Ashton said with a wild grin. “We all need this.” 

So here you were, casually sipping your cocktail in the corner of Ashton’s home while their exquisite rager took the house by storm. Sierra and Crystal stayed by your side throughout the night, insisting  to keep up with each other while you were away. This time, you made sure to not end contact with them the way you did last time. Tia had also been in the group but left some time ago to deal with something. 

“Are you sure you have to leave?” Luke asked, pouting dramatically. “L.A. isn’t the same without you here, n/n.” 

You ruffled his hair playfully. The singer was always a little brother to you, no matter how close in age the two of you were. “I do, bub,” you said in a sorry voice. “I don’t think my boss could stand another week without me in the studio.” 

“Then move back to this location!” Michael proposed, raising his glass and nearly spilling his drink on the floor. “Transferring wouldn’t be a bad idea, would it? The studio would love to have you back, producing and doing whatever else you do.” 

You laughed at Michael’s drunken state. You were having a lot of fun relishing in the last few moments with your friends before leaving them once again. You almost didn’t realize the shouting that was going on in the dining room of Ashton’s home. 

The entire group ran to the source of the noise to find Calum standing on the dining table with Tia pleading for him to get down.

“Calum, babe, please,” Tia shouted. “You’re causing a scene.” 

All guests turned to see what was going on, especially to see why the bassist of 5 Seconds of Summer was shouting complete intelligible nonsense. 

Ashton ran towards the edge of the table. “Mate, you need to get down,” he begged hurriedly. “You’re not thinking straight, you need to get down before you get hurt.”

“No,” Calum insisted, his words slurring slightly due to his inebriated state. “I need everyone to listen to me.” 

Someone had managed to find the speaker and turn it off so everyone could hear Calum. Your heart was beating out of your chest, not from the alcohol buzzing through your system, but because of the drunk boy standing before you. 

Calum raised his cup to the crowd. “I’d like to raise a toast to the girl who broke my heart,” he announced sloppily. “The “heartbreak girl” herself, y/n l/n.” Calum clapped loudly. He was the only one who was clapping while you stood there in shock and humiliation. “I loved you, you know?” he sniffed. “And I bloody well still do. Tia’s great, though. Absolutely nothing wrong with you, Tia, I hope you know that. But you’re not the one. y/n right here, she’s the one.” 

His brown eyes, red from drinking and smoking God knows what, teared up as he looked down at you. “But what I can’t figure out is why won’t she love me?” Calum threw back the rest of his drink and winced at how strong it was. “I was getting ready to propose to you, you know?” he told you. “I had the ring in my pocket, and I was just waiting for the perfect moment.” Calum chuckled to himself bitterly. “Guess I fucked that up tremendously.”

“Calum, stop,” you pleaded. 

“Why should I?” he asked you incredulously. “You didn’t stop packing your things when I asked you to. You didn’t stop running when I chased after you in the dark. You didn’t stop when you booked that flight across the country to run away from me.” 

Tears were streaming down your face now. “It wasn’t like that, Cal,” you cried. “W-we broke up for a reason-”

“And that’s what I can’t wrap my head around!” he shouted. “You barely gave me a reason! You told me you never saw me anymore. I was willing to make more time for you, to end my career for you, to get down on one knee and be with you, and that wasn’t enough! There had to be another reason-”

“There wasn’t, Cal!” you sobbed. “So drop it, please.” 

Silence spread throughout the whole house. No one moved an inch, too shocked to make a single sound or move. All that could be heard was the sounds of your messy sobs that you failed to keep in. Cal dropped his cup and gestured his hands at you. 

“The Heartbreak Girl, everyone,” he announced with a broken sigh. “Hope you enjoyed this one hell of a show, with your heartbroken host, Calum Thomas Hood.”

You ran out of the house as fast as your feet could take you. The air was brisk in your lungs, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care when the man you loved poured his heart out to you, only for you to squash it like it was nothing. 

“y/n!” you heard a voice call out for you. You whipped around to see Tia, scrambling to catch up to you. In the back, you could see the band -minus Calum- and their significant others peering out the glass door to see what was going on. 

Tia grabbed your hand tightly. “y/n, fuck, I’m so sorry about Calum,” she apologized, swearing profusely. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. First we were talking about our relationship then-“

“Please, don’t bring up your relationship,” you cut her off, roughly shaking your head. “I know I gave you my blessing, but please I can’t bear to get my heart broken again.” 

“You don’t understand!” Tia pushed. “We don’t have a relationship to begin with! y/n, I never asked Calum to be my boyfriend, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t interfere with a love as great as yours and his.”

You stumbled backwards. “What?” 

Tia nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “y/n, you and Calum are endgame, don’t you see? I only talked to him tonight to explain that you still loved him. I guess he was too caught up in the alcohol to think rationally.” 

“Tia,” you said, voice dripping in disappointment and dread. “That wasn’t your secret to tell him.”

“Were you going to say anything?” she shot back. “You weren’t, so I had to take matters into my own hands. n/n, I’m a firm believer in fate and second chances. This is your chance at making everything right-“ 

“But I can’t!” you cried, ripping your hand away from hers. “Don’t you get it? I’m the one that’s killing him! I put him through hell and I can’t continue to do that. Why can’t you see that I’m a fucked up mess that ruins everything I touch? I love Calum, I’ll never stop loving him, but I’m not blind enough to not see that my love is torturing him slowly.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. Tears reappeared in the corner of your eyes, but you were too tired to wipe them away. “I’m never going to be enough for Calum,” you confessed. “That’s why I broke up with him. I can’t watch him waste his life away on a girl that’s only going to disappoint him. I’m not like you, Tia. I’m not perfect, or beautiful, or smart, or anything remotely interesting. And one day, Calum is going to see that and realize he missed his opportunity to find someone good for him, someone that he deserves.

“I don’t deserve him, Tia,” you finished in a broken whisper. “I never will. So I’d rather fade into the background and be a distant memory than become a face he can’t stand to look at.” 

“That’s not true,” Tia insisted, tears gracefully falling down her beautiful face. “y/n, you have to believe me when I say that’s not true.”

A car drove down the street, approaching the two of you. You let out a sigh of relief, recognizing it as your uber. “I don’t have to believe you,” you replied, opening the car door. “My word is all that I need.”

—

Calum woke up the next day with a pounding headache. He groaned aloud, sitting up on the couch and cradling his head. He wished he was drunk enough that night to forget everything that happened, but he remembered every single detail. From the beat of the bass from the stereo to the way your dress hugged your curves he loved to kiss and hold. 

He finally pushed you away, he realized. And for good, this time. Calum felt dread and regret rush through his system, and all he wanted was to crawl into his bed and sleep his life away. 

“You know grumbling isn’t going to cure a hangover,” Tia’s reprimanding voice rang through the living room. 

Tia. Calum jumped up to face her where she had been leaning against the door frame.

“Oh Ti,” he sighed, covering his face in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry for last night, I must have humiliated you. I’m a right idiot, and I’m so sorry I put you through that.” 

“Oh shut up,” Tia laughed, walking over to him and sitting him down. “I can’t say that I wasn’t hurt, but I also can’t say I was surprised with how things turned out.” Calum hung his head low, ashamed of his behavior. He never wanted to hurt either of you. “Cal, you don’t have to be so sullen. It’s okay, there’s no hard feelings or bad blood between us.”

When Calum couldn’t bring himself to respond, Tia decided to take it a step further. “I always knew you loved her,” she confessed. “That’s why I brought it up to you last night. I wanted both of you to work things out. She really does love you.” 

Calum let out a bitter laugh. “She sure has a way of showing it,” he muttered. “Tia, don’t make me feel worse by feeding me lies. It hurts enough that I hurt both of you, don’t make it worse by saying that bullshit.” 

“I’m telling the truth!” she fought back. “y/n still loves you, she told me that herself.”

“Then why did she break up with me?” Calum retorted. “If her love never left the table, where was it when she broke things off? Correct me if I’m wrong, Tia, but I don’t think that’s how you treat the people you supposedly love.” 

Tia screwed her eyes shut, heaving out a sigh. “She loved you so much, she thought you deserved more,” Tia finally explained. “She let you go so that you could find someone better, someone who makes you happier.” 

“That doesn’t make sense,” Calum shook his head, eyebrows furrowed in thought. “How could she think that? No one could be better than her, um, no offense.” Tia snorted at the last part. “If anything, I thought I didn’t deserve her.”

“Well you’re both idiots,” Tia deadpanned. “You two clearly love each other more than life itself but were too blind to see you were perfect for each other.” 

Calum’s shoulders caved in as he drowned in his thoughts. His hangover headache was piercing his skull but he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t process why you’d ever think so lowly of yourself when he praised the ground you walk on. 

“How can I go back to her and repair things when I never realized she was hurting?” he asked. “Why would she ever want me back when I wasn’t there at her lowest? All the signs were there. She stopped calling me every night to talk about her day while I was away. She’d dodge my Facetimes with bullshit excuses that I failed to point out.” Calum huffed to himself, beating himself up critically. “What makes you think I won’t fuck up again when she needs me?”

“Because you’ve learned from your mistakes before,” Tia told him, rubbing his arm soothingly. “And you can learn from them again. That’s what I like about you, Cal. You always made an effort to better yourself, no matter the challenge. And if you truly love her, you’re going to end up fine.” 

Calum smiled softly at Tia’s words, raising his chin to look her in the eyes. “I love her so much,” he whispered. The bassist took her hand, squeezing it affectionately. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with us, Ti,” he apologized genuinely. “I really do hope you find someone who is willing to lay down their life for you.” 

“I’ve watched two lovers reconnect like no time has passed at all,” Tia smiled back. “Trust me, I have the groundwork laid out for what’s ahead of me.” 

Suddenly, Calum’s phone began to ring. Lunging towards the arm of the couch, Calum pulled his phone off the charger and read the caller ID. Eyes wide, he looked at Tia who gave him a knowing look. 

“I’ll start the car.” 

–

You opened your eyes, immediately squinting at the bright light. You were met once again with the familiar feeling of a skull splitting headache and aching ankle. 

“Must you always get yourself into these situations?” 

You turned to face those brown eyes and cheeky smile you adored. Calum shook his head in disbelief, taking your hand in his. “I thought you said you’d change your emergency contact,” he said in a scolding tone. 

Your face was on fire at his words. “I forgot,” you told him honestly. 

Once again, you ended up in the hospital with similar injuries to what you received at the beginning of your trip. But instead of a car accident, you’d clumsily fallen down the stairs on the way to your Uber to the airport. Luckily a neighbor next door heard the ruckus and loaded you into the Uber straight to the hospital. 

“Or it’s fate,” Calum suggested, resting his hand on the side of your head. 

“Calum,” you tried to counter.

He stopped you instantly. “I know why you ended things,” he simply told you. “And I think I deserve a say in it.” Closing your mouth, you let him speak. “You’re wrong, y/n. You do deserve me as much as I deserve you. And I love you no matter what. I don’t need a famous celebrity as my partner when I have you in my life. None of that superficial stuff matters to me, y/n, you know that. And I know that for as long as I live and you forget to change your emergency contact list, I’ll always come for you.” 

Your heart fluttered, and you allowed yourself to feel hope for the both of you. “But what if someday down the line you want more?” you asked in a small voice. 

Calum blinked away his tears. “What more can I want?” he said in response. “You’re all I want, y/n. I’m so sorry I ever made you doubt that.” 

“Don’t apologize,” you laughed, tears beginning to fall, too. “It was my stupid brain that made me doubt in the first place.” 

Calum leaned in, his lips brushing against yours. “So is that it?” he asked. “Are we done doubting? Will you finally come home, y/n? Be with me forever?” 

You raised your hand to cup his cheek. He instinctively leaned into your touch. “With you,” you told him surely. “I’m always home. I’m yours, Calum Hood.” 

–

if you enjoyed, please like and reblog! it would mean a lot to me <3

#5sos #calum hood x reader #calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood angst #calum hood imagine #calum 5sos #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum imagine #calum hood fluff #calum hood smut #calum hood fic #5sos angst #5sos fic #5sos fanfiction #5sos imagine #5sos fanfic

[suchalonelysunflower]

I Hear a Symphony (c.h)

You, Again Spin Off

Pairing: Soulmate! Calum Hood x Soulmate! Fem! Reader

Summary: it’s the most important day of Luke’s life, and, even if Calum doesn’t know it yet, it would be his as well

Warnings: Fluff, kinda angsty but not Sunny’s type of angst. Language. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 4.2 K

Authors Note: OKAY, this does not mean I’m back posting every week like I used to, but it’s something. Thank you for the 2K 🥹🩷 more things are coming, I promise. But like give me time cause I’m moving continents this month. Please remember to REBLOG the works you like, that’s super important to keep writers (me) going, as well as COMMENTS LIKES AND REACTIONS. PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS. Hope you like it and happy reading 🥰🦋🌻

My masterlist // tag list in bio!

He could hear the sound of nervous pacing echo through his head as he rubbed the tip of his thumbs over his eyes. It was a normal occurrence as lately, they’ve all grown accustomed to Luke’s endless worrying. But everyone has their limits, and Calum’s all but reaching it at this point.

“Mate, sit the fuck down!” He said, a bit more harshly than he intended in the first place.

“Yeah!” Michael seconded without paying much attention to them, sitting across the room on the couch, with no pants and a bowl of Cheetos sitting next to him as he played yet another game of FIFA “You’re gonna run out your shoes before you walk down the aisle”

Calum glared at him for that comment.

“What?! That can happen?!” Luke shouted as he immediately jumped to the bed and took off his shoes to inspect them.

“Of course not” Calum sighed, going up to Michael and flicking him on the forehead, ignoring his complaint “But you do need to calm down”

Luke’s been erratic these past few weeks as the big day approached. They’ve all had their fair share of laughs at the “bridezilla’s” post on Reddit every once in a while. But they never thought that their best friend would ever turn into a “groomzilla” Calling them in the middle of the night for their opinions about ties and eyeliner color; overhearing phone calls in the office with vendors about how “teal” was not the same thing as “cerulian”; almost having an aneurysm when Ashton said he was going to shave his head… to name a few.

Although - Calum thought - that term was not fair to Luke at all. He could understand the man being nervous about his own wedding and wanting everything to be perfect. Especially as his best man - aka the man who made sure everything was not in shambles after Luke ended up crying on the office kitchen floor at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday - What he did not get was his underlying fear of his soulmate running away at the last minute.

“I’m sorry!” Luke moaned, hiding his face in his hands as he lay down on the bed “It’s just- what if she just decides she doesn’t want this anymore?”

“You’re joking, right?” Calum sighed as he sat next to Luke.

Calum knew the whole story of their love. When he first met Luke on his first day at the company, the first thing he noticed was the mark on his skin. He remembers a blushing Luke smiling shyly at him while he rubbed his fingers unconsciously over the mark as he told them the story of how he met his soulmate. It was the first time Calum met someone so young and so in love, at least until Michael met his soulmate, but that is a whole other story - and albeit a more dramatic one.

When Luke told them he was going to propose, no one took it as a surprise. It was just how it was supposed to be for them. At least that’s what Calum thought. If he was being honest, all the idea of soulmates and having one person to love for the rest of your life seemed… weird.

He knows he should not have those thoughts out loud, and he probably agrees with Ashton’s theory that maybe it was just because he hadn’t found his yet. But, what was he supposed to think? That magically, somewhere around the world, there was someone destined to be with him? And that they would love him back? It just doesn’t seem real.

But then… He turns toward Luke, who’s now observing his mark, touching it so delicately as if it were to fall. He noticed how his lips moved to say his lover’s name as he sighed. Then, he looks over at Michael, whose mark got him a novella out of that story, and how he smiles at the text his soulmate probably sent. He thinks about how their smiles change when they’re around their loved ones; how they talk about them, as if they were the most interesting people in the world and no one could compare to them. And Calum knows. He just knows that’s how love is supposed to be.

And, he knows he’s never felt that before. Not in the receiving or giving end of the bargain.

He has had partners before. Someone to take the loneliness away from his hands and put them to good use. A distraction, maybe, from feeling so empty. But those relationships never lasted more than a season. His lips never uttered the word “love” to someone before.

Maybe he’s not supposed to.

“Ayooooo!” Ashton shouted as he came barging into their hotel suite, letting the door hit the wall and making Michael drop the bowl of Cheetos on the floor “Who’s ready to party!”

Immediately, Luke got up from the bed with erratic eyes.

“Where the fuck have you been?!”

“Whatever do you mean?” Ashton faked innocence. Calum rolled his eyes

“Give it up, Ash,” He said, getting up from the bed as well “It’s getting late and Luke hasn’t killed anyone, yet. And I have no problem letting him start with you”

“You,” Ashton pointed at him “Are no fun. I just went to grab my tux! I left it at home so that I couldn’t damage it as other people did”

Michael raised his hands “In my defense, no one should’ve brought orange soda into the tux fitting!”

Luke ran a hand through his face. Calum thought it was fortunate that he didn’t do his makeup yet.

“Just tell me you got them”

“Got what?”

“The wha- THE RINGS?!”

“What rings?”

“Okay,” Calum said, putting himself between a very confused Ashton and a bull-raging-looking Luke “This ain’t funny anymore, Ash”

“I’m not trying to be funny, 'cause you know I’ll be hilarious. But I seriously have no idea what you two are on about”

At that moment, Calum could see everything in slow motion.

He noticed the way Luke’s neck vein nearly exploded. He heard the slow whistle from Michael as he got out of the way completely. And he watched Ashton’s eyes go from joyful to meet the angel of death in Luke’s stare as he started to run across the room while the soon-to-be groom chased him.

“Hey, hey, HEY!” Calum yelled just in time for Ashton to trip on Michael’s shoes, taking Luke by surprise and making him stop on his steps “Let’s take a damn moment and figure this out, okay?! Ashton, you don’t have the wedding rings?”

“No.” He said from the floor “Why on Earth would I have them?! You’re the best man!”

“Because I gave them to you, you ass!” Luke shouted, nearly on the brink of tears.

“No you fucking didn’t, mate!” Ashton groaned as he sat down “Believe me, I would’ve known!”

“Yes, I did! At the rehearsal dinner two nights ago, I told you to guard them with your life!”

“No, Luke-” Ashton frowned and got up and went to pick something from his bag “You gave me these. Which at the time I thought it was weird, but no questioning the groom I guess”

What he showed the rest of them was a little black velvet box that contained… nothing. It was completely empty.

Luke’s demeanor completely changed from angry to defeated. Calum swore he could see the five stages of grief run through his friend’s eyes as he sat back down on the bed.

“That’s not- those aren’t-” He stammered “That’s the engagement ring box. I- I don’t know-”

In an instant, his baby blue eyes filled with tears that could not stop running down his face. A chain of curse words mixed with painful whimpers and sobs ran through him and echoed into the empty room. The remaining three friends just looked at each other in shock, not knowing how to approach or how to comprehend anything that was happening.

“Oh my god!” Luke cried “She’s going to leave me! She’ll know I lost the rings and she’ll walk out in an instant. I fucked up! Oh for god’s sake, I ruined everything!”

“Luke-”

“What am I going to even say to her?! Oh god, she’s probably thinking of ways to escape this!”

“Luke!”

“I’m going to end up alone and- and - and- and my mark will disappear! I- I don’t wanna be markless again?!”

“For fuck’s- LUKE!” Calum shouted, grabbing the sobbing groom by the shoulders and shaking him out of his state “Calm the fuck down! We’re going to figure this out and you’re getting married today!”

“But how?!”

“Just-” And then Calum realized he had no idea how to actually fix this, but he had to come up with a plan. Fast “You gave Ash the wrong box, we know that and it was an accident. But, is there any way the box with the rings just got mixed up? Maybe the rings are in the other box and-”

“And they’re exactly where you left them,” Michael chimed in. Nodding at Calum and Ash “We can go find them”

“But I don’t know where they are! They could be anywhere!” Luke whined, “Our house, with the bridal party, at the office…”

“Why would they be in the office?”

“I don’t know! I took them everywhere just to make sure I didn’t lose them”

Calum sighed and stood back. It’s game time.

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do,” He said, seriously “Luke, you stay here. Try to compose yourself, I’ll call Jack to help you get ready and to help you look through your luggage. Ash, you’re going to their house. Look into every drawer that you can find, even the bathroom and kitchen. Michael, obviously you’re going to the office.”

“Duh”

“And I’ll go to where the bridal party is, if it’s not there I’ll go with Ash”

“Wait,” Luke said, drying his tears “I don’t want her to know that I lost them. If you go there and tell her-”

Calum just put up his hand and smirked “You’re talking to an expert here, mate. She won’t even know I’m there” He then nodded and put his hand on Luke’s shoulder “Let’s get you to that altar”

*

The bridal party was getting ready at the penthouse on the top floor of the hotel, which later would become the marital suite for both Luke and his new bride. Calum went up to the door, ready to knock. But then he would chicken out and do a few laps along the corridor to gain some sort of courage.

“It’s okay,” He told himself “You’re gonna do great, not embarrass Luke and save his wedding. Yeah. You’re a good friend, Calum. Good friend. Great friend, even. Maybe I should ask for a complimentary gift from their honeymoon-”

“Are you seriously giving yourself a pep talk out loud?”

Calum shrieked and jumped at the sound of the stranger’s voice. Turning around to see a lady smiling at him with her eyebrow raised. She was wearing one of the hotel’s complimentary robes with sandals and had her hair and makeup done, as well as a bucket of ice in her hands.

“I- I-” Calum cleared his throat as he composed himself “I’m just… trying to-”

He blinked a couple of times, wondering the reason as to why he seemed out of words when he looked at her waiting for an answer. With that smile and those beautiful eyes looking straight at him… She was pretty. Gorgeous even.

Calum had seen his fair share of pretty people around and about, but this stranger was just as if she were casting a spell on him the moment he set eyes on her. Like Medusa freezing him over with her beautiful stare.

Soon, he returned to his senses enough to extend a hand to her.

“Sorry,” He smiled “I’m Calum, Luke’s best man”

The girl smiled, shaking his hand “Oh, I thought I recognized you from somewhere! I’m Luke’s cousin, Y/N”

Alarm bells started shouting the words “OFF LIMITS” inside Calum’s head the moment she uttered those words.

“Cousin?”

“Yeah,” She smiled, and oh, how Calum wished she didn’t.

“But- but I haven’t seen you? I mean, at the rehearsal dinner and stuff”

Y/N sighed “Yeah, working out of state can be a pain in the ass sometimes. My flight got delayed a good 24 hours. I arrived last night and I’m already spent” She laughed “Anyway, I’m sure you have something important to do, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Being the best man and all”

Then Calum remembered his task.

“Oh shit! Right. Uhm… I’m gonna need your help” He stepped closer to her and whispered “You see, I’m on a mission”

“Like a secret mission?” She whispered back.

“Exactly. Here’s the deal…”

After he explained the situation and pretended not to notice the way in which Y/N’s eyes set on him with such brightness in them or the way her perfume seemed to hold his thoughts captive at her proximity. They both came up with a plan.

“And the bride cannot know, right?”

“For the sake of Luke’s nerves… yeah, better not”

Y/N giggled, making Calum take a moment just to wish it could happen again. And another to wonder why that was.

“Okay, follow me”

Calum walked behind her, careful not to get into her space as she used her key to open up the door. Luckily, the rest of the party was getting ready at the other side of the room, just as she told him they were. So all Calum had to do was sneak up the other side into the room and rummage through Luke’s bags. Easy enough.

But when have things ever been easy for any of them?

“Hey, Y/N!” A voice ran through the room, making them both panic as Y/N pushed Calum outside of the room again, holding the door with one hand behind her “There you are!”

Calum, still in shock from the abrupt shove, couldn’t hear most of the conversation the girl was having with another bridesmaid. He just noticed her hand out to hold the door so that he wouldn’t be shut out. And then, he noticed her mark.

It was as if a bucket filled with cold water had been dumped on him when he looked at the little dove tattooed on her skin. His face morphed into the disappointment his heart was bleeding out. Feeling the way his lungs stopped breathing as a warm, dreaded sensation ran through his body.

He didn’t know, nor could he comprehend that sudden sadness that took over him just by looking at her mark. Why did it matter so much to him? He literally just met her out in the hall. He should’ve known or even expected her to have someone already, how could she not? In the brief minutes that he’d known her, he already knew she was special. Just… just not special for him.

“Calum!” He heard her hiss through the door.

“I’m here!” He whispered back, trying to tint his voice with something other than disappointment.

Y/N then grabbed his hand blindly and pulled him into the room, making them crash their bodies as she closed the door behind him. Her strength was a bit misplaced as she ended up backtracking into the wall and taking Calum with her, pushing them together against the wall.

She looked back at him, and Calum could barely breathe. His eyes went straight to her lips, parting and waiting for words to come out. So close to him that her eyelashes could blow winds into the brown forest of his eyes. Just one more, little push and he could have his lips drinking from the secret poison of her mouth.

But he couldn’t. Not when she already belonged to someone else.

So he stood back, giving her a little nod as he made his way toward the room. Y/N followed him, making sure to stand guard at the door in case any other person wanted to come in.

“His bags are on the right side,” She whispered through the other side of the door.

“Great, it shouldn’t take me lo-oh. Oh shit”

“What?!”

“Luke’s got like six bags here!” Calum whispered-shouted, already wanting to cry “How on Earth could a person own so many clothes?!”

Y/N stifled a laugh “That sure sounds like my cousin. But don’t worry, his bride got like eight. No wonder they’re amazing together”

“Yeah,” Calum agreed as he started to go through the first bag “Can you believe that he’s scared shitless she’s going to run off?”

“What?! She’s totally head over heels for him. I’ve known them my whole life, there aren’t more deserving people of that kind of love. They truly are made for each other, real soulmates”

Calum gave her a small smile even though she couldn’t see it.

“You know?” She said, with a sigh “I have to admit that I never truly believed that could be possible.”

“What?”

“Loving someone like that”

Calum stopped for a moment looking through bag number three, that same tug on his heart appearing that he chose to ignore. Y/N continued.

“I knew soulmates were real. But I always got that feeling that it couldn’t just be that perfect, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it” He answered, opening bag number four.

“The thought of loving someone like that for the rest of your life, it’s scary. So I understand why Luke might feel like that. Like it’s just such a perfect dream you might wake up from one day. But seeing him with his girl, and seeing the rest of my friends live their lives with their happy endings. They are all living in symphonies and I’m just here trying to figure out the tempo” She laughed

Calum looked back at the door, smiling sadly at her words that mirrored his thoughts so perfectly. His hand went through the fifth bag blindly, finally touching a velvety surface. His eyes widened.

“I know one day I’ll-”

“Holy shit I’ve-”

“Find it”

“Found it!”

Both of them kept quiet for a few seconds after that.

“Wait- you found them?”

“What?” Calum turned, taking the small box from the bag and walking up to the door “But- you have a mark”

“I don’t-”

Silence again. Time stopped. The beats of Calum’s heart could echo in those moments. He knows what he saw. He knows the dove is right there.

Then, the door opens. Y/N stood there with teary eyes. Her hand was delicately touching the mark she now noticed. But she wasn’t looking at it, no. Instead, her attention was solely on Calum, who was standing right in front of her, confused.

She took his hand, he offered no fight. She opened the button of his shirt and lowered the sleeve. Finally, the two of them could breathe.

“Cal…” She said, lips forming a smile.

“Oh my god,”

There it was, drawn on his delicate skin: A dove.

“Hey, has anyone seen Y/N?” A voice could be heard saying from the other side of the suite.

Calum looked up, and in a second he had her by the waist as he hurried them over to the closet and closed the door. He put a hand over her mouth and waited as footsteps came closer.

“I don’t think she’s here,” One of the bridesmaids said as they entered the room “Maybe she went to get some more ice”

They heard the person walk back out and exhale the breath they were holding. Calum looked back at Y/N, and she was already looking at him. He took his hand from her mouth but neither of them could form a sentence.

“Hi,” He said, breathing out a laugh. She smiled.

“Hi,” Her hand found his “This is-”

“Weird?”

“I was going to say “right” This feels right” She giggled “But yeah, it’s kinda weird. We have a lot to talk about”

“I know, I-”

“But not right now” Y/N put her other hand on his chest, feeling the way his heart nearly drummed its way out of his chest “It’s Luke’s wedding, there’s a lot of things to do, and I don’t want to take the moment from them”

Calum sighed “You’re right. But when?”

“I’ll find you,” She said, placing a kiss on his cheek “Now, you have to go, best man. Or the groom might collapse”

And so Calum walked back to Luke’s room, smiling ear to ear as he still felt her lips on his cheek. A smile that did not fade until he entered the suite and found Luke in his underwear with an ice pack on top of his groin; Michael with the zipper of his pants broken; and, Ash with dog paws imprinted onto his shirt.

“What the hell happened?”

Ashton sighed “Dude, you don’t want to know”

*

The ceremony went without a hitch. Luke and his new bride could not take their eyes off each other since she walked into the room, the smile on both of their faces was enough to convince even the proudest non-believer that love truly exists. Their vows made everyone in the room cry or close to, at least. But as they spoke, Calum could only think of one thing: Y/N.

When he saw her walk down the aisle, holding onto one of Luke’s other cousins, he could not help but imagine that one day he would see her walk in white to him waiting at the altar. The looks that they exchanged were a secret to everyone but them. He looked for her throughout the ceremony, almost missing his cue to give the newlyweds their rings - that Luke nearly kissed him in thanks for finding them - And he knew. He just knew that the part of him that he didn’t even think was missing was finally whole.

“... And, I have to admit, soulmates and stuff? I didn’t get them. Not until I met these two. When Luke first told us about the way his bride smiled and how she always got the coffee to taste just right in the mornings, even when their coffee machine broke down, I knew what true love was supposed to look like. Most people search for a love like that, some stop believing halfway through their happy endings. I always thought that love was just something that happened. Now I’m certain that love is something you live through. Something so inexplicably beautiful that’s hard to describe. It doesn’t happen instantly, but it builds and builds until you’ve created a home out of it. I know I cannot wait to start building mine” He said, looking straight at Y/N who sat there smiling widely with teary eyes “Today, the new Mr. and Mrs. Hemmings have invited us to their home, to their love story. And I’m just so thankful to be here sharing this love with them. To the bride and groom!”

The whole venue followed with applause and a few whistles from Ashton after the speech. Luke got up to hug him tightly and thank him for everything he’s done. His wife also got up and kissed him on the cheek, hitting his arm lightly and scolding him mockingly for making her cry again.

Calum just laughed and wished them the best once again. And, when he looked back, he noticed that his soulmate was no longer in her seat. He looked for her through the crown and found her at the door, nudging her head for him to follow.

Yet, when he got there, she was nowhere to be found. That was until he felt a pull on his sleeve and suddenly he was inside a closet once again.

“You really have a lot of upper strength” He laughed, putting an arm around her waist and bringing her closer to him “Hi,”

“Hi,” She said, closing her eyes and leaning forward until their foreheads touched “That was a great speech”

“Thank you, I’ve been practicing”

She hummed as she felt a small kiss on the top of her head, putting her arms around his neck “I already want to hear it again”

Calum held her close, hiding his face inside her neck as he softly placed kisses along it. Feeling like a swarm of butterflies just took flight inside his stomach.

“We have time. I could recite it to you each night”

“We’ve barely just met and you’re already thinking about tonight?” She teased.

“I’m thinking of getting to know you every night and day for as long as you let me,” He confessed, pulling back slightly to look at her “Would you let me?”

Y/N smiled and nodded. Calum took it upon himself to close the distance between them and finally let their lips touch. Kissing her like she wanted from the first time he saw her. Hungry. Passionately. Lovingly. Hopeful for the future they could now share.

But too busy to even hear the door of the closet opening.

“Hey, Cal! Are you there? Where ha- OH MY GOD! WITH MY COUSIN, CAL?!”

*

*

tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hemmohoran @flaneurcth @hoodharlow @littledrummeraussie @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @in-a-world-of-fandoms @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @fakebetch9694 @5sos-imagine @SunflowerAngel2123 @perfectnouis @in-superbloom @lukeisstillapenguin @sadcupofcoffee

@superstarmarvel @personalmuyverypersonal @cnco.angels @vtte @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @lolzkye @fairytrice @colourfulcal @nibin0912 @hfkait @savagejane1 @youneedtocalumdown @pvnkcloud @in-a-world-of-fandoms @The-Ghost-of-Cal @youneedtocalumdown @dasguccier @awritingtree @heyitskelseaj @dawwnya @calumance @writersdare @indianamgc11 @marshallowy

@ashtonsunflower @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththat @whywontyoulovemecami @perriexed @abiancajg @rewmuslupin @icelily13 @gracieboogirl @fastandtheformula1 @remusismyhousewife @emilyclairesimpson @romanjbittenbinder @bookthingz @voilavouz @gracieboogirl @valentinehrts

@fckingpernico @multistann @a-darneddarling @plaidshirtyears @ihavenoideawhattodowithyou @bittersweetb4by @aria-grace-scott @bvbygxrl @luisa180206 @flyingburrito123 @drugerlime

#5 seconds of summer #calum hood #5sos #suchalonelysunflower #calum hood fic #calum hood fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #calumthomashood #calum 5SOS #5sos calum #you again #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #calum 5 seconds of summer #5 second of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer calum #5sos5 #5sos show #5sos fanfic #calum hood x reader #fic rec #calum fic

[nicksbestie]

omg a calum fic where you two explore the city you’re in on his day off from tour. doing ur fav things in ur hometown city!!! him just taking it all in and letting u know how grateful he is for u!!!!!!

Hometown

a/n : I'm sorry it's so short!! I felt like it was better kept short and sweet than super long and dragged out, but I hope you like it anyways!!

word count : 448

warnings : none!

enjoy!

<3

Days off from tour were one of your favorites, because while you always enjoyed seeing your boyfriend in his element on stage, you loved the soft moments that you got when you had the chance to spend the day with him.

The Calum that wasn’t worried about performing, photographers, and all of the people screaming at him from the crowd. He had described it quite a few times as feeling “more like himself”, regardless of how much he loved putting on a show. 

They had just played in your hometown the night before, and you had, of course, had VIP access. It was an amazing show, and you had thoroughly enjoyed every single moment. But now, the band has a few days before their next show. 

You two decided to take a walk around the neighboring city, and Calum seemed so genuinely happy for the entirety of the trip. You stopped at your favorite stores, pointing out your favorite landmarks and places to hang out, taking him anywhere and everywhere until you two were absolutely exhausted, sitting on park turf grass, finishing ice cream cones and laughing at each other being such a disaster. 

Throwing away your soiled napkins and the rest of your cones that you didn’t eat, you two laid back, staring at the clouds, hands tangled in each other. You were breathless with the exertion, but also just with how much you loved the man laying next to you. He’d spent the entire day with you, and he didn’t have to do that. He could’ve easily spent the day resting in his hotel room, hanging out with the guys, but no. He chose to walk around your hometown, see the things you wanted to show him, and participate in what you wanted to do. You couldn’t even explain how much you loved him. He looked over to you, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

“A lot of things are so different here than back home, Australia, or LA. It’s so much fun to take it all in, but I’m so happy that you’re the one showing it to me. It makes it all feel so much more special.” 

You let out a small laugh, returning the kiss, teasing him. 

“What, you mean you don’t hate Southern America?” 

He laughed, resting his head back down, the sun getting close to setting. 

“East coast sunsets with your lover are certainly something I hope everyone gets to experience.” 

You blushed fiercely, smiling as you squeezed his hand. 

“I love you.” 

He smiled, squeezing your hand back.

“I love you too. Thank you for spending the day with me. It’s been one of the best breaks on tour yet.”

#5sos fluff #5sos fic #5sos angst #5sos #5sos x reader #5sosfam #calum hood x reader #calum hood fanfic #calum hood #calum hood boyfriend #calum hood 5sos #calum hood 5 seconds of summer #calum hood request #calum hood ask #asks with aus #calum hood fluff #calum hood fic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5sos fanfic

[saucymalum]

please make moth to a flame by the weeknd into a luke fic!!! 😩

Moth to A Flame L.H

Luke Hemmings x reader

Text fic: 3 screenshots

#5sos fanfic #5sos fic #luke hemmings #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings angst #luke hemming imagines #luke 5 seconds of summer #luke 5sos #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #5sos #5sos angst #5sos smau #5 seconds of summer fic

[itisannak]

Dr. Angel Face Prequel Part 9: Meet the Family (Calum Hood Fluff)

Summary: Calum's mom and sister visit him in California and they finally meet (Y/N), probably in her worst possible moment. (T.W: Mention of Death / Description of Depressive Episode / Mention of Car Accident) (Words: 3.1k) (Penultimate Part of The Prequels) Dr Angel Face Main Stories: Fetish / Heat / Heat Extended / Dr. Angel Face / Dr. Angel Face Alternative  /  Dr. Angel Face Prequel 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 10 /  My Full Masterlist  /  Dr. Angel Face Masterlist  

"Nervous about meeting my mother?" Calum asks as I take a look at the souffle in the oven. "Not really. I am way more nervous about meeting your sister." I reply, taking a deep breath in anticipation. In less than 2 hours, I will be meeting his mom and sister, two of his absolutely favorite people. "She is your age, you will get along." He brushes me off, sticking his tongue out as he laughs while I narrow my eyes at him. "Did you just jab at our age gap?" I ask him, making him roll his eyes. "Age gap... It's just 4 years. You need to relax." He replies, wrapping his arms around my waist and pecking my temple. "And now I am worried about meeting your mom too... What will she think of the age difference?" I sigh, biting the inside of my cheek. "She already knows I am dating a MILF." He states, earning a slap on his hand. "I am not a MILF. First of all, I am not that old. And second, I am not a mother." I point out and he hums, moving his lips down the side of my neck. "I can help with the second part of it." He grazes his lips over my sweetspot, making chills crawl on my skin. "You have to leave for the airport. Think of the traffic." I moan, feeling a ticklish sensation caused by his lips. "I'd rather think of you. Plus, we have at least an hour and a half before they even land." He counters, tilting my head to the side to gain himself more access. "Traffic can be brutal heading to the airport." I deny him, moving from his embrace. "For someone so anxious about meeting my family, you sure are eager for me to pick them up." He comments and I sigh. "Your mom and sister both have traveled a very long trip to see you. The least you can do is be there on time to pick them up." "In all honesty, they saw me not even 6 months ago. They are coming for you, angel." "Did you tell me that so I can just dip?" I ask him and he chuckles. "You will be fine. They are not gonna bite. That's my job." He winks, leaving a kiss on my forehead before picking up his phone from the counter. "Please, no dirty talk, or innuendos in front of your family. I am begging you." "I will have to consider that. I like the way you get flustered by my comments." "Calum..." I protest. "Can't hear you. I am leaving." He says cheerily, strutting towards the front door.

Despite jitters making my stomach a tight knot, I managed to finish cooking and set the table in Calum's backyard. As per usual, it is a lovely day in Los Angeles and it would be a pity not to take advantage of the beautiful weather and have a meal outside.

I hear Duke barking towards the door as I finish placing the pot of ragù for the pasta in the middle of the table. I straighten up and head inside through the kitchen door, bracing myself for the moment I have been so anxious about.

I walk to the front of the house, kneeling down to pet Duke and get him to stop barking. There is too much noise in this tiny dog. "Bud, it's ok. You'll tire your voice." I coo at the dog and scratch behind his ears. "I got the bags..." I hear Calum exasperate as he opens the door. I put on a smile and move aside to clear the way for them to walk in. "Ah, there she is... Mom, Mali, this is (Y/N). (Y/N), my mom and sister." Calum introduces us, right at the moment the two women walk in. Joy is the first to approach me, pulling me in for a hug. I am surprised, pleasantly surprised, but still taken aback. "It is so good to finally meet you in person. All Calum did over Christmas was talk about you." Joy says, pulling away to take a better look at me. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you as well. Calum talks about you all the time. How was your trip?" I ask, smiling at her. "Very long. Thank you for asking." "Mom, don't hog the girl. There are others waiting." Mali comments, moving to hug me. "I have been wanting to see you in person for so long. You are even more gorgeous than Calum told us." "Oh my, thank you. Calum sure talks a lot." I turn to my boyfriend who smirks and shrugs. "I thought my sharing was confidential. But apparently, everyone is kissing and telling in this family." Calum glares at the two women. "Oh, hush. We haven't even told her half of what you have told us." Mali comments. "And that is the reason why I am never telling you anything again." He sighs. "I have set the table outside. Hope you don't mind." I change the subject, pointing to the backyard. "Just give us a minute to freshen up and we will be right in there." Joy turns to look at Calum for directions. "I'll take you upstairs, and show you your rooms too." Calum picks up the luggage, signaling the 2 women to start heading upstairs. "See you in a bit, (Y/N)." Mali waves at me with a soft smile on her lips. She looks just like Calum, who in turn looks just like Joy. It is like seeing triple.

"You are a surgeon, you can cook... Is there anything you cannot do?" Mali asks me as I serve her a piece of souffle. "I cannot ride a bike... So, put that on my disadvantage list." "You cannot ride a bike?" Calum asks me in surprise, eyes widening. "I really can't. I never learned how to." I reply, making him scoff. "How come I didn't know?" He asks me as I hand him back his plate after serving him. "I guess it was never brought up." I take a seat, picking up some salad. "Calum told us you are a pediatrician." Joy comments and Calum groans. "Mom, I told you she is a neurosurgeon..." He says through gritted teeth, almost protesting on my behalf. "Cal, come on. It's fine. I am a neurosurgeon, but I am doing a fellowship in neonatal and pediatric neurosurgery. So, I am working with babies, children, and adults. Everyone really." I explain. "It must be very challenging." Mali comments and I nod. "It is. But I cannot imagine myself doing anything else. I think I had settled down on what I wanted to do at the age of 2. By 10, I know it had to be neurosurgery. 3 days into my internship, I knew I had to work with children." "Anyways, enough about me. Calum tells me you are a musician as well. Does musical talent run in your family, or...?" I ask and Mali chuckles. "I think he is just copying me. Like all younger siblings do." Mali playfully eyes Calum, who smirks and shrugs. "She is just mad because I dethroned her." He comments and Malik cackles. "You wish you could dethrone me." Mali rolls her eyes and I laugh. "Were they always like that?" I turn to Joy who looks at her children proudly. "Always a headache. Especially my Calum. But I dread the day they will stop being like that." She looks at them with so much love in her eyes, clearly showing she has missed her children interacting like that. "Do you have siblings?" Joy asks me and I shake my head no. "I am an only child. But I have a lot of cousins. So I sort of get this dynamic." I gesture to the siblings who are still oblivious to us talking. "Are you close to your parents?" "Very. I don't see them often, due to work, but we call each other frequently and I visit as much as I can." "Do they live far?" She asks me and I shake my head no. "Not really. It is a four-hour drive, but I don't always have the energy to travel there and I need to always be available in case there is an emergency at the hospital." "Your parents must be very proud of you. So young and already so successful. And a hard worker." "Mrs. Hood, you are making me blush. Thank you so much. It means a lot hearing it from you. You have raised such incredible children. Especially Calum. I don't think I have ever met anyone like him." I turn my head to look at Calum, who is showing something on his phone to Mali. "Please, call me Joy. No need for formalities." She reaches to cup my hand in empathy.

"Shall I bring out the dessert?" I ask once I see everyone empty their plates. "What are we having?" Mali asks. "I made my very famous salted caramel cheesecake." I reply, making Calum moan in excitement. "This is one of the reasons I fell in love with her." He comments, and I roll my eyes. "I'll come help." Mali offers, standing up from her chair. "Coffee?" I ask Joy who nods. "Mali knows how I take it." Joy looks at her daughter who nods her head. "How can I forget?" She sighs, following me inside.

"Thank you for offering to help." I turn to her, heading to the fridge to bring out the dessert. "It's the least I can do. Your food was amazing." "Thank you. I don't cook often, to be honest." "I get why. But it was really great. It must have taken you all day to cook all that." "Not really. I am pretty good at multitasking. And Calum also helped." "Oh... I don't remember Calum ever being good at cooking." She comments, searching the cabinets for mugs. "He is great at it, though. He always cooks for me whenever I stay over." "You don't live together?" Mali asks surprised. "No. I am staying here for a few days because I have some issues with my roommate and I am looking for a new place." I explain and she hums in surprise. "I thought you had moved in. Oh, well. My bad. And I hope you find a solution to the whole housing issue soon." "Thank you. Oh, can you excuse me for a second?" I ask as my phone rings. Mali nods and turns to the coffee maker, focusing on making coffee as I accept the call.

(Calum's POV) Mali approaches the table, looking at me hesitantly, like a scolded puppy. "Cal, something is wrong with (Y/N)." She says worriedly, making me look at her in confusion. "What do you mean?" "Is she ok?" My mom asks and Mali shakes her head. "Her phone rang. I heard her say the name Robin... They talked a little and (Y/N) took off crying." "Her supervisor, Robins... She is teaching her the techniques for her fellowship. Crap... I'll be right back."

My heart is pounding as I look for her, just the thought of anything hurting her makes me furious. I can hear her sobs even before I open the door to the bedroom, and my heart sinks to my stomach. "(Y/N), darling..." I call her, not wanting to startle her with my presence. "Baby, what's wrong?" I walk further into the room, softening my voice as she turns to look at me. "Nothing. I am fine. I will be downstairs in a minute." She tries to pull herself together, but her voice breaks and soon the tears she so carefully tried to dry are back in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. "Angel..." I sigh, moving to take a seat by her side on the bed. "Don't worry about coming downstairs. Tell me, what happened? Mali told me Robins called." I cradle her face in my hands, trying to make her look at me, make my presence there conscious. "She had an accident." She can barely mumble before the next fit of crying. "Who? Robins?" I ask her, trying to make sense of what she is telling me. (Y/N) shakes her head, no, her bottom lip quivering. "The mother of the baby. The one I was supposed to operate on once it was born... She was in a car accident... And she..." (Y/N) cannot bring herself to finish the sentence. She buries her head in my chest, sobbing onto my shirt. "Oh my God... What about the baby?" I ask her, and at that moment her sobbing becomes louder. "It is unfair... So unfair. I could have saved her. I could have saved her, but I didn't have a chance. I could have fixed her. I could have given her a normal childhood. But I didn't have a chance... I didn't have the chance. It is unfair." She sobs, her speech becoming slurred. "Honey... I am so sorry... Sweetheart..." I don't know what to do, or what to say to make her pain go away. All I can do is press pecks on the top of her head, and let her cry it all out. "It's not your fault, baby. It's not your fault." I repeat, time after time, hoping it gets through her head. Because it is not her fault. It is not, and she should not blame herself for the death of that woman, or the death of that child.

-

I open the curtains letting the morning light fill the room. (Y/N) is still in bed, covers brought up to her ears, unbothered by the sudden change of lighting in the room. I walk to the bed, taking a seat before I bring down the covers a little. "Good morning, angel. It is time to get up." I say softly, stroking her arm. "I just want to sleep." She mumbles, still in the same motionless state. "You have been sleeping since the day before yesterday. You haven't eaten anything since dinner with my mom and Mali." I comment but she groans. "I am not hungry. And I just want to sleep. Leave." She sounds exhausted, which is not fitting for someone who has been sleeping for nearly a day and a half. "Well, this is not happening, so let's get over with the hard part and get out of bed." I pull the covers off her body, making her curl up in a fetal pose. "I hate you right now." She mumbles but I just brush it off, picking her up from the bed.

I put her over my shoulder, carrying her to the en-suite bathroom. "Let's get you washed up..." I let her on her feet before I turn the tap on in the shower to warm up the water. "Don't you even think of running back to bed." I help her out of her pyjamas, while she looks at me like she is detached from what is going on currently. "Alright... You can be like that if you want to, but I am not going to let you crawl back to bed." I say softly, pressing a kiss on her forehead. I strip off my clothes too, before helping her into the shower. "It would be so much easier for you to just let me lay in bed forever." She comments as the water hits her. I grab her shampoo from the rack, pouring some into my palm. "It would be... But I am always up for a challenge." I lather her hair up with the shampoo, massaging it onto her scalp.

"You got me out of bed, you got me washed up, you fed me... Don't you think it is enough?" (Y/N) asks in frustration as I practically drag her out of the house. "It is enough when I say it is enough. Now, into the car we go." "Don't you have to spend time with your family? Isn't that the point of them traveling all the way here?" She asks me and I shrug. "They are visiting Ashton today. He is taking them for lunch and then to see a theatre show. More questions?" I ask her and she groans. "Why won't you let me just stay in bed?" She asks me. "Would you? Would you let me wilt away in bed for something that was not my fault?" I ask her softly and she sighs. She silently walks to the passenger side, still keeping her detached look.

"I know it is not my fault." It is the first phrase she says since we arrived at Malibu Beach. I turn to look at her, clearing her face of the strands that the air has blown onto her face. "Thank God for that." I reply, stroking her cheek slowly. "I just can't accept that I didn't have the chance. I can't accept that the baby didn't have the chance. There is so much beauty in the world, and that creature will never get to see it, experience it in all its glory." She sighs, covering her face with her hand, blocking the sun out. "It is unfair, I am pissed about it too. But falling apart is going to rob all those children who are waiting for you to work your miracles of the opportunity to be treated. You can't control everything, angel. The car accident was out of your control, you couldn't have predicted it, you couldn't have prevented it. What you can do now is make sure you do your best for the next baby that will need your help, for the next person that will be on your operating table." I stroke her hair, listening to her breathing calmly. "I am so tired." She sighs. I can hear in her voice how tired she is, despite the long sleep. "Bailey said you shouldn't step foot in the hospital until Monday. And she will only allow you back in the OR after you get cleared by a psychologist. You have time to rest." I assure her, but she groans in response. "It's really shitty that I will be away from surgery until I get cleared." "I mean, who would be benefitted from you having a breakdown during surgery?" I ask her. "Your family must be hating me." "My family doesn't hate you. My mom is very worried about you. Especially yesterday when you didn't eat all day. She wanted to force-feed you. They actually really appreciated how involved you are." I assure her, pressing a kiss on her head. "I know I have been the worst girlfriend ever in the past few days, nor the easiest person to comfort or help... But you were the most amazing boyfriend. I mean, you are. You did exactly what I needed you to do, even though I didn't even know what I needed." She says softly. There is still sadness in her voice, I can still sense that her faith in this world has been shaken. "I hope I never have to do that again." I reply, meaning it with my whole heart. 

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[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Sweet Dreams--Part 9

Calum and you have dance around reality for a few months now. But after Calum leaves and returns from a trip, the reality has to be confronted. 

Weeks are passing and maybe more is blooming between you and Calum than might meet the eye.

Prince!Calum x Reader Insert.

CW: Smut (dry humping) in this part. Mentions of using sex to numb feelings. Please read with caution and skip if need be.

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There are certain messages Calum’s used to seeing--ones about meetings that have gotten pushed back, good morning texts from you, one from his parents about some sort of article they came across and wanted to send to him, thinking it would be good for him. There’s the texts from Michael or Luke or Ashton about bullshit--videos, memes, a bad selfie in their thread. There’s the text messages about a cute dog or cat that someone’s spotted in public. Then there are text messages that Calum is not prepared for. Ones that he hopes he never gets accustomed to receiving, that are bearing the bad news. 

However, seeing, If I asked to borrow the back garden or some kind of back yard area to tie dye socks, would that be an immediate no? is the type of text that Calum thinks he would never want to brace himself for. There would be no fun in being prepared for spontaneity. Calum laughs, dragging the towel over his face to wipe away some of the sweat pouring from his hairline. Even with the heat of the summer fading, the long hours on the weekend with the shed still causes a sweat to break out. 

Yes, you could use whatever you needed, baby. 

Excellent, because I may already be here. Are you working on the shed?

Calum taps the icon for a call. It rings, once then twice against his ear. “Hi, love,” you answer. The pet name never fails to send a jolt of desire down his spine. You always say it so softly, like you’re trying to savor the taste of every syllable on your tongue. Sometimes, Calum’s tempted to ask what it tastes like. Does it taste sweet like cotton candy when he calls you baby?

“Hi, baby. Now what is this about needing to dye some socks?

“Charlie wants tie dye socks. The ones in the store don’t have color combinations that he likes. I’ve got some dye from when I had to recolor some shirts that were starting to fade and helping roommates out with stuff. The apartment’s been overtaken because Josie’s invited friends over, which I knew would be happening so it’s not a problem. But I know I have free time and can’t sit still to save my life. You don’t have to say it. Hence why I’m asking to borrow space for a little bit.”

“There’s always space here. Do you need help setting up somewhere? Put you closer to the laundry room--wouldn’t you need that for dying?”

“Yes, I should say, the socks would have to stay there for at least today and then if I could stay the night, I’d rinse them in the morning and take them with me.”

Calum nods, though you can’t see it. “Yeah, that’s okay. Whatever you need.”

Faintly in the background, voices arise from your side of the phone. “You’re supposed to be gone. You can’t tease us like this,” someone hollers. 

Calum just makes out the words but catches your laughter as you respond, “I am a ghost. You do not see me.”

“That’s it, I’m dead. Dead,” the person laughs. 

“Are you still using the service entrance? I have let the guards at the main entrances know about you. You literally can just walk into the front door,” Calum states through his laughter. 

“If I’m honest, my brain just went on autopilot mode and hadn’t realized I’d missed the turn for the main entrance until I was already past it.”

“Habit, huh?”

“You know they say they die hard.”

“It’s alright. Next time, you’ll get it. I’m shocked the codes are still the same for you.”

“I don’t think it’s been deactivated yet. Part of me wonders if Janet’s ever going to deactivate it.”

“She may not.” It shouldn’t shock Calum if Janet decided not too. Though, he does think it might be a tough sale to security. They could win the battle if need be, but Calum worries about that for another day--should it ever come up. “But what do you need for this tie dying venture? A table or something, I’m sure.”

“I can get all that, don’t worry.”

“You sure? At least let me get you a table out from storage, baby.” Calum figures that it might be a mute point, that you might already have the table, but he’s still going to offer. The last thing he’ll do is not attempt to help. After throwing a quick warning back over his shoulder to the guys assisting him, he starts towards the doors. He doubts he can beat you to wherever you’re headed if it’s not directly outside. 

“You’d have to come all the way through the back when I’m already inside to grab it,” you counter. 

You are right. The curse to the size of the castle and its grounds is that sometimes it’s much too big for its own good. Getting anywhere in the residential wing is a bit of a chore--long hallways, limited number of doors. Calum’s sure it’s all due to safety, someone somewhere had a reason for the pain, but that’s not going to stop Calum from trying. Not when he knows it’s for your brother. The last thing he wants to do is get in the way of that relationship. 

“I can at least try,” Calum quips back. He’s never considered himself a track star, but he’s glad for the years he did football. 

“Don’t wind yourself out, love.”

“Is that a challenge I hear?”

Your laughter echoes, skips for just a moment but then your voice filters back in through the speakers. “I wouldn’t dare dream of such a thing. But seriously, I’ve already got a table. You better turn yourself back around.”

Calum continues on, just as he gets to the door, a bit more huffy than he would ever like to admit, he spies you rounding the corner from the hallway storage is on. “Hi baby,” he calls out once you make it closer to him.  

“You’re hardheaded, you know?”

“Only….everyday though.”

You pause in the doorway, table in your grip--it’s a smaller one, but taller so you don’t have to bend down so much with it. “Yet, somehow, I still find myself attracted to it.”

“It’s the boyish charm. Need anything else?”

“Boyish charm,” you laugh, leaning into him a little. “We can call it that.”

Calum meets you, a quick kiss before you continue on through the door he’s holding open. It’s a silly thought, Calum tells himself, as he watches you carry on through the garden. You’re careful as you go, keeping the table a good six inches away from the ground as you go. But something does feel a little different. Your smiles at him melt a little bit more, feel a little bit warmer than before. To see you comfortable enough to ask for a kiss--even a peck as it was--in public made his stomach flutter yesterday. 

The party was about you, so Calum withheld any conversation about it. The thing his parents did teach him was to be mindful of the time and place in addressing certain conversations. But for you to think, well before asking, that the castle would be free to you feels like further confirmation. You are changing, or maybe it’s a bit more like you’re unraveling. Though you and Calum walked in the early stages, you’d never mentioned your siblings. Now with that bit of information revealed Calum seems just how much you care about them--enough to dye socks so they have what they want. 

He can’t say much about your dating life prior. He assumes you might’ve had some experience prior. Calum can say for certainty that building the relationship with him has been slow with you. Worry and concern are the biggest culprits for that. But that seems to be falling slowly to the wayside. Calum won’t take any credit for this. He just watches, carries with him the tiny pieces of how you’d opened up. He does not consider himself a poet; he’s much too meticulous with when and how he shares anything. But if love is watching someone blossom into something more magnificent than they’d ever been before, then he thinks he’d ought to give it a shot to capture the feeling of being witness to it. It’s pride without arrogance, awe without jealousy. An emotion sure pure he’s sure he’s never felt it once since he left his childhood. But he feels it now, watching you pause at tomato plants. 

If all Calum gets to do is watch you grow and evolve, then it will still be a life well lived. 

“You’ll let flies in, Your Highness,” Janet teases passing back the doors. 

“Just put me on fly duty,” Calum laughs, but does move to let the door close behind him. There’s no embarrassment as Calum catches up behind you at being caught staring. “See anything else ready to be picked?”

“Oh, that’s still well beyond my wheelhouse. But I don’t think so.”

“You know more than me.” Calum means it sincerely. That you do know more about the garden than he does. But he thinks too that there’s a kind of life that you’ve lived that Calum had only once thought would be his. It’s a great honor to serve, take on his duty as expected. But there’s a little bit of life, a certain kind of living that he’d never really do. There’s a certain kind of wisdom he didn’t have. Not that Calum would ever want to romanticize your struggle and your suffering. But he knows that your experience gives you a perspective different than his--a perspective that Calum’s glad you’re willing to share with him. 

“I’m sure your mother could teach both of us a thing or two about gardening. How’s the shed coming along?”

The new one fades out of view, leaving the current restoration project bare in front of the two of you as you walk closer to it. “It’s going,” Calum returns. “There’s some shelving we’re working on now and the bench. A little behind schedule, but we anticipated that much from the start.”

“Looks good though. A fresh coat of paint?”

It’s the same blue as before, just not chipping anymore. “Yeah, a little birdie suggested it.”

“One smart bird.”

Calum helps you get set up--from getting the table stable to getting the dye into the more appropriate squeezable bottles, and once you’ve sworn up and down at least three times that you’ve got it from there, he ventures back over to the shed. The group doesn’t say much, but the smiles passed around them tell Calum everything he needs to do. He’ll never live this down. 

“It’s not a crime to be in love,” he laughs. 

“No one said it was. But to think, the same man just a year ago was swearing off love now following his partner like a puppy--it’s quite the sight,” Vance returns, looking up from his measuring where he works on the last few pieces of the built-in bench before they’ll start installing it. Getting power to the shed set them back longer than anticipated and when Vance’s gout flared, there were a few days that a lot of the light work went into place--like the painting and verifying the shelving design. This weekend is hopefully one of the last two big pushes to get the main structures in place. From there Calum will work on getting the table ordered, chairs, and the final furnishings. 

“I guess a lot changes in a year,” Calum answers. 

“I guess it does. Now c’mon lover boy, you’ve got a bench to install.”

It’s easy to get lost in the pop of the staple gun, in the measuring and re-measuring. Calum finds himself waiting for the click of each piece slotting in together; it’s a satisfying sound. It doesn’t take too long with Vance’s help to get the skeleton of the bench installed. Though it does take a little bit of finesse to get the paneling up over the skeleton. By the time the sun starts to dip just a hair down in the sky, but not quite touching the horizon, the bench is fully nearly assembled. The top isn’t bolted in yet and won’t be until the cushion is fashioned to the top, so the lid is resting on the structure for the time being. 

“Give it a test,” Vance suggests. “Make sure it’s up there sturdy.”

Calum’s weight seems to make no difference to the unit. There’s no creaks, no sagging. With a bit more courage, Calum swings his legs up and stretches out over the item. His feet hang off just a little, but that’s little to be concerned about. Given the space of the shed in total square feet, there was no way to make the bench as tall as him. But it’s solid beneath them. 

“It’s good,” Calum states, pushing up from the bench. 

“You’ll need these for tomorrow,” Vance calls out, pulling out a bag of metal hardware from his belt. Calum catches it with ease and notices the black hinges and screws assembled into the bag. Tomorrow Tamara comes by to help get the bench upholstered, though Calum suspects she’s always going to want to get Calum to finish buying the furnishings tomorrow too. Vance is taking the day to spend with his wife for their anniversary so it’s nice to be able to switch off to other aspects in the meantime. 

“Have fun tomorrow.” The guys laugh just a little at Calum’s statement. Even though Vance called Calum out about Calum’s own behavior, Vance was just as guilty. Every chirp of Vance’s phone made him pause to see if it was his wife. Albeit, Calum suspects there’s more going on at home over the last few weeks. Vance was talking more and more now about wanting to be a dad. It’s not his place to put out information that wasn’t ready, but Calum holds the suspicion close to his chest. 

Vance flips them off but his own laughter bubbles. “Your minds are absolutely in the fucking gutter, man. 

“Might be, but we already know exactly what’s going to happen tonight,” Parker pipes in from the opened door of the shed. 

“And you can’t even get your dick wet, so I don’t want to hear it,” Vance huffs. 

Parker was behind Calum in age by about a year and a half, but the two of them shared more in common than initially suspected. Parker’s highschool sweetheart hadn’t called it off before leaving for college. It left Parker behind, his family unable to afford the costs. Parker had taken courses with the community college before moving to vocational school to learn welding and HVAC. According to Parker, he’d gone for a trade so that he could have money saved up for a wedding when his love returned. Yet, Parker was left heartbroken instead. Parker’s partner returned for spring break of his sophomore year and called it off, admitting to emotional cheating. Not necessarily out of a desire to hurt Parker but out of loneliness, being on campus by himself and having a hard time in the first semester making friends because he was so homesick. It happened slowly--just as a friendship, someone to confide in about loneliness, hangout on the weekends and show him around the strange new town. But it was becoming clearer more and more as time went that there was someone else to Parker.  Calum, over a few beers, had gotten the story in the initial days of renovations. 

That was five years ago, but Parker hadn’t found anyone else. Not for the lack of trying. Parker always seemed to have a string of dates, stories to tell about who he was seeing, but they rotated out nearly weekly. Each weekend meeting for the renovations started with a hot gossip hour--Parker’s latest string of dates, Vance’s home life about his wife and two dogs, Tamara occasionally joining with stories of her dating life, Logan chimed in with updates about his new partner too, and Calum always carried up the rear in their circle. But Parker is the one that Calum worries about sometimes--the way he laughs at the jokes the other cracks but it sounds a little bit like it’s being forced. 

“Hey, at least he’s trying,” Calum interjects between the laughter. 

Parker is a decent guy, but possibly still too scorned from his first love to really let anyone in. Calum can’t say he doesn't get it. It’s a shitty box to be in, to know that you have so much love to give but someone hurting you so deeply that it makes you want to hide that love away. Whether or not the pain was caused intentionally never really undoes the fact that it cuts so deeply. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve got the stories to back up his efforts,” Vance agrees easily. “Soon, he’ll settle down with a good guy. I know he will. But I think we’re at a good stopping point for today, yeah?”

The lot agrees. Calum takes survey of the progress--Logan and Paul have been working on the shelves while Calum and Vance focused on the bench.  Only the foundations and arches of the unit exist based on the work done today. But it did take a little trial and error to get the arches to match. It’s clear though the shape it’s taking on. Once all the shelves are in and attached, they’ll paint it. Thankfully the paneling for the bench is a dark brown and matches the color for the rest of the furniture so there’s little to do in terms of staining the unit. 

The wood and tools are all moved inside. Though Calum’s positive there’s no rain in the forecast, he knows that could change on a dime. Rather than trying to replace expensive equipment, he houses it inside of the shed now that the roof is fixed. The guys give their goodbyes as Calum turns the key on the bolt to lock the doors. Everyone on the project has a key should any one of them get here before the others, but Calum’s most often the first one there and the last one to leave. 

“Thanks for that,” Parker states. Calum looks to his left, a little startled that Parker was still around. “For sticking up to Vance like that. I know he doesn’t mean any harm with those jokes, but they do get a little old. So I just wanted to say I appreciate you saying something.”

“Of course, man. Anytime,” Calum returns. “I get it. You know that.”

Parker’s nod is soft. “Yeah, I do. But still, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow for a couple hours at least. I don’t think we’ve got much left to do now.”

“No, it is shaping up nicely. I still appreciate your help with all this. Even though this is pretty far from HVAC.”

Parker laughs. “Yeah, yeah, it’s not exactly the ports on an AC unit, but I’ve got a few more skills than that too. Have a great night.”

“You too,” Calum calls out as Parker heads back for the doors. 

Calum’s not sure why he expects that you’re still working on the socks. But all he finds instead is the empty spot that you once had a station up at. There’s not even indentations in the grace to show where you stood. 

“Done already?”

Calum spins to see you walking out from where the new shed stands. “I was wondering where you’d gone,” he laughs, though his heart is still thundering in his chest. 

“Joy asked for a spare hand.” Looking down, Calum can see the patch on your knees from the grass. Maybe not quite a full on stain, but it’s clear where you’d been working with the dirt too with the dark brown spots. 

“You want to borrow something of mine and I do need to do laundry once we get back from drinks, I can throw everything in at once.” 

“A shirt at the least. I think I have some spare pants in your room and I do have an overnight bag too.”

Calum nods, reaching out for your hand. He tries to remember if you do. He knows you took most of the stuff out a couple weeks ago, but he can’t recall if you came back with anything more. You could’ve and the time’s just slipped from his memory. But the trek back instead passes in an exchange about the work done--there’s a pause at the laundry on the first floor for Calum to take in the sight of the socks still contained away to allow the dye to set and settle into the fibers. 

“They look good,” Calum compliments with a squeeze to your hand. 

“Thanks, tomorrow’s the true test to see how the colors did.”

“I’m sure they’ll turn out well.” The two of you continue on up to Calum’s room. The squeak of your shoes as you two climb the stairs. Though the elevators are a faster way up, you head for the stairs and Calum follows behind. But it is a relief to hit the residential hallways. The work from earlier and Calum’s earlier work out are catching up with the burn of the stairs. The echo of slightly labored breathing softens as the two of you push closer and closer to his room. 

“We’re never taking those stairs again,” Calum huffs, pushing his door open for you to enter through. 

“You might not, but I think I’ll take them again.” Your own retort is stuttered as your breath comes and goes with big inhales and exhales. 

“Yeah, right,” Calum laughs, shuffling past you as you paused at his drawers. On your side of the bed, resting on the floor, is the bag you mentioned earlier. It’s a silent shuffle in the room, the opening and closing of drawers, the zipper being opened to your bag. 

“Do you want to shower first?” Calum offers. He’s still contemplating what to wear but given your ease to pull his yellow button down out from the closet and your fresh jeans from the drawer, you seem to have him beat. Though time’s not really an issue, Calum isn’t fond of being late when not necessary. 

“Do you want help and we can shower together? You know, saving water and what not?” you laugh, slipping behind him. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re suggesting something there,” he teases. 

“Do you trust me?” It’s a soft question. 

“I do.” It’s an easy answer to an easy question. 

“Then trust it’s nothing more than that. I just wanted to be close to you is all.”

That--that’s the kind of confession that makes Calum’s toes curl. “Then please help before we are half an hour late because I can’t decide.”

You press a kiss to his shoulder, though Calum’s sure he’s covered in sawdust and sweat--the conway studio’s T-shirt he’d gotten from Michael as a gift when Michael worked there for an artist on their debut album is a little unforgiving in some areas with the sweatstains that show up. “Of course. Where’s your casual meter? How do you normally meet the boys?”

“It never matters that much, if I’m honest,” Calum returns. Your arms wind around his midsection and Calum’s hold on the hangers slackens so that he can trace over the skin of your forearm with the tips of his fingers. 

Your hum vibrates your shoulder but you tap his stomach before pulling away. Calum watches you shuffle back over to his drawers. You browse through the drawer only for a moment or two before unearthing a t-shirt, white with red trim at the neck and sleeves. His taste tester t-shirt. “We can start here,” you offer. 

It doesn’t sound like a full on question, but there’s just enough lilt in the tone that Calum reassures you with a nod. He pushes his shirts off to one side of the closet before focusing on his bottoms. There’s some comfort when you’re next to him, watching over his shoulder at the selections. It’s less about the clothes and more about the fact that Calum wants you to know he needs you, cares about having you there for even the little things. Passing on his black jeans, Calum settles for some black trousers. You pick a black belt with a big silver Western buckle to top it off. 

“Looks good to me,” Calum affirms. 

“Well, let’s giddy up cowboy.” It falls with a teasing laugh, but Calum wouldn’t take it any other way. 

The water is warm, hitting nearly like mist over Calum’s shoulder until he gets just enough water to get the pressure right. Once the shower roars, he lets you into the stream first. You only take a moment to get your face wet before you’re moving for his shampoo. 

“Is there something in my hair?” he asks. There wasn’t any checking in the mirror before getting into the shower, which might’ve been his first mistake. 

“Yeah, there’s some dust.”

“I can do it,” Calum comments, reaching out for the bottle, but you tuck it behind your back. This shower though it comfortably fits the two of you is not the best place to attempt to out muscle someone. Calum soaks his hair and turns as you direct him. The friction of your fingertips over Calum’s scalp is firm but not overbearing. It’s enough to make his eyes flutter close as you work. The kind of tenderness and care that makes his innards melt. So lost in the sensation, Calum nearly misses your directive for him to rinse the shampoo. Your work is swift to comb the conditioner through. 

Calum goes to rinse it when you’re done, but you catch him by his elbow. “Not so fast,” you laugh. “Let it sit for another minute. Scooch to where I am.”

“I’ve never let my conditioner sit this long before,” Calum returns, but lets you stand in front of the stream from the shower head. 

“And you’ll thank me later when you see the difference another minute or two makes,” you laugh. Calum can only watch. The water dripping down over your skin traces every line, every divot. Calum is no artist but he’d carve you into stone like the water is doing--highlight tautness of your muscles as you flex them, carrying over the curve of your butt. You are art work in a way that Calum thinks he understands finally the need to capture it in something so permanent. He knows he’d like to take his time to get every detail right. His memory is fallible. It’ll fail him eventually, but if he carved you into marble he’d always be able to remember the scars, the mole; every cell would hold to eternity in the rock. 

“You can rinse now,” you direct after letting the water wash away the soap from your legs after your final scrub down of them. 

Calum rubs his styling pomade over his palms--post shower and dressed, the only final touches are his hair. The extra time with the conditioner did soften it a little bit more than he’s used to this being. But that was information he was willing to give out easily. Though as he slips his fingers through his hair to hold the work of the blow dryer down, he is impressed. You watch from behind, fastening the button on your jeans into place. 

“You don’t have to admit it, but your face says it all,” you laugh. 

“Shut up. You don’t get to be right all the time,” Calum huffs. He wants to keep it together, be able to deliver the sarcasm with a straight face, but he ultimately cracks. His smile lifts his cheeks and he giggles when you shake your head at the antic. 

“I’m only right some of the time,” you answer. 

“Some, all, it’s all the same difference. Is Teagan okay by the way? You mentioned yesterday being worried about her.”

“I hope so. I really hope so. I don’t--I don’t want to assume anything right now, so it might be just a one off thing.”

“Well, I’m here for you and her. When you’re ready to say more just let me know. If there’s anything I can do in the meantime, just let me know too.” It’s clear the way you waltz around what happened that you don’t really want to say too much about it. Though it does make a small batch of worry stir in Calum’s stomach, he’s not going to force you to discuss something you’re not ready to discuss. He hopes it’s nothing. Hopes that maybe this is extra fret for ultimately nothing. But in the event that’s it’s more, he knows he’ll do whatever he needs to help you out. 

“Thanks, love. I appreciate it.” Your arms slip under his and you smooth a small fly away. “Ready?”

“Born ready.”

Calum’s quick to direct you to the elevators on the way down to his car. He can still feel the slight quake in his thighs from the effort earlier when he squats down to get into the driver seat. It doesn’t help that just a couple days ago it was leg day in his gym routine. Yet, each time he forgets how long the recovery is from the torturous routine. The radio turns out immediately from the last time he was in the car, but Calum lowers the volume just a smidge. 

“Is there anything I should know before meeting your friends? Any subjects off limits?” you ask after a few minutes of being on the road. 

“You already know that Michael’s a producer. Luke’s got his hand in music, solo work. Ashton’s got jobs on jobs. Between his work to start a wellness app, he’s got a candle company. He’s working with Luke I think on some instrumental music. But they’re a cool group. Micheal’s married. Luke’s engaged. Ashton’s newly single so that might be a little bit of a tough spot, but if I’m honest, Violet wasn’t good for him so none of the guys are that torn up about her. We’re there for Ashton of course.”

“So a politician, a producer, a singer, and a hippie walk into a bar,” you start and Calum snorts. “And one of them says to the bartender, I need a drink that’ll help me through the day I’ve just had, with no major side effects and if I saw purple elephant at the end of the cup I wouldn’t be that made either, can you guess who ordered?”

“It was a group order,” Calum returns. 

“Correct.”

“And I wouldn’t say Ashton’s a hippie. He’d gotten into school on some scholarships, dude’s practically a whizz, but definitely tends to lean more spiritual and philosophical than not.”

“I’ll give him a fair shake, promise. It’s just--wellness app? Do you know the focus of it?”

Calum hadn’t gotten all the specifics. Ashton mentioned it during one of their last hangouts and by the time that it really sunk in what Ashton was doing, the conversation gravitated to something else--there were jokes, teases, and before Calum could digest in his slight alcoholic haze the idea, the topic was long lost. 

“We’ll find out more today I’m pretty sure though. He can go a mile a minute if you let him.”

“I’m excited to meet them then. See what kind of mischief you get up to.” Though Calum wouldn’t call it mischief himself, he’s excited too. 

____________________________________

The thing about first impressions is that you’ll never know if you’re landing them well. There are no do overs. Only ever grace and more grace. But as you follow the half step behind Calum into the bar, you’re hoping you won’t need too much grace. It’s not packed for a Saturday, not yet anyway. Though you think that it might be too early to make such judgment at only 8 in the evening. The night is still young and you’re sure that as the hours crept by more and more people would crop up. 

“Calum!” 

You hear the voice before you spot two men waving with grins on their face. They sit next to each other at the table for what appears to be situated for six. One has blond hair that faintly curls at the top. The other man has a shaggier cut with pink dyed ends underneath a beanie. Calum laughs as he greets them, hugs and pats on the back. They reach out for you too, unphased by your addition to the outing. The man with the beanie introduces himself as Michael and faintly curly haired blond introduces himself as Luke. 

Calum doubles down on such introductions, clearly missing the quiet exchanges but no one corrects him before you two settle down opposite of Michael and Luke. Calum pulls out your chair and you cut your eyes up with a soft smile. “Don’t,” Calum commands with a laugh. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Are you telling me he’s not pulling your chair out all the time? I raised you better than this,” Michael jokes. 

“I am a gentleman,” Calum counters, “at all times.”

Luke joins in on the ragging with a tsk falling into the air from the suck of his teeth. “Then tell me why I don’t believe you, son. Just doesn’t seem right over here.”

The banter falls between them easily. You know it’s the years, all the time they spent together. And just as quickly as it starts, it stops even though Calum squawks to your left that he is the picture perfect partner to you. “Yeah, but we’ve learned not to trust you.” Michael turns to you at the end of the sentence. “So, let’s hear your thoughts. On a scale of zero to ten where is Calum falling on being a gentleman? Pretend he isn’t here. Which I know is hard since he’s so loud right now,” Michael cuts in over Calum’s muttered huffs. 

You ponder the question, even as Calum slips his hand into yours, sliding a menu left behind closer to you, though one’s right in front of you. “Eight and a half. But he’s closing in on the 9.”

“I’d ask when I haven’t been a gentleman, but I fear the answer,” he snorts. 

“I have to give you room to grow. Don’t want you to get too comfortable,” you tease. 

Michael’s laughter echoes, even in the thump of the bass overhead. You hear his crackle. “I like you already. I’ve heard through the grapevine though that you’re starting a new job Monday?”

“Would the grapevine be about 6’2?” you ask. “But yes, Monday is my first day.”

“Are you nervous at all?” Luke questions. 

You shrug, playing at the corner of the menu Calum slid your way. “A job’s a job. The people seem nice so far, so not terribly nervous. I’m a bit more used to first days at new jobs though,” you answer. From what you gathered, there’s a strong likelihood that they don’t share a background like yours. You could be wrong of course. But given what they’re doing now, you’re not sure what kind of background they could have. 

“Sorry I’m late,” a scruffier voice calls out. “Sup, Cal.” They laugh and you look up over your shoulder to a man with almost shoulder length hair. There’s a slight wave to the warm brown strands. He smiles at you big and bright, the action making the sunglasses bounce just a little on his face. “I’m Ashton,” he greets, holding out a hand. 

You shake it in return, offering your name. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same, same. Again, apologies for my tardiness. Not the kind of first impression I want to give.”

But grace, but grace, but grace. “Consider the tardiness excused. Better late than never.”

His laughter is soft as he nods. “Right, right on.”

“I was about another ten minutes from putting together a search party,” Michael relays to Ashton as he settles to your right. 

“Nah, you can put the dogs back and let them free in the backyard. Though I don’t think South would dare get his paws dirty.”

“You have dogs?” you ask Michael. 

He nods. “Two. South and Moose.” Before you can even ask to see pictures, he’s pulling out his phone. There on the table, the screen lights up your face as you swipe through the gallery Michael pulled up. “South has the golden coat--very much a diva.”

“Last time I petsit him, he acted like he didn’t even know me,” Calum huffs. “Until it was time for him to go and then he didn’t want to go.”

“A diva,” Michael concludes. 

“They’re precious,” you coo, handing the device back after two more swipes. 

“Do you have any pets by chance?” Luke tacks on. 

“No, but I’m open to the idea. Just wasn’t feasible for a while.” There’s a nod of understanding but it leads down a tangent about Luke and his dog Petunia. It’s nice for the conversation to flow naturally. By the time you order your first round of drinks and some appetizers for the table, you learn about Luke’s older brothers, Ashton’s younger siblings, the way Michael, Luke, and Calum found each other in middle school thanks to band class. Luke’s mother used to teach Ashton as he is older than the rest of the group, resting right in the same age bracket as you. But even still, he’d been reached out by Michael in a string of bizarre fated events to guest drum for a gig they’d landed. 

Though the band didn’t live long, given Calum’s trip off to football camp in Brazil and an unfortunately timed injury to Ashton’s wrist, they still kept close. It floors you for a minute to learn that in addition to school Ashton had taken a job at a KFC. He’d been doing it to bring in extra cash for his family and thankfully through the gigs, he’d managed to worm his way into the music world. He didn’t let the job go fully until he was met with a do or die moment. To say Ashton did is an understatement, but there’s something still modest in the well worn leather jacket and faded t-shirt. You’re sure if you saw the brand’s name etched into either one of the items, it still might give you a heart attack, but something in the ensemble lets you know that Ashton is not overly frivolous. The items stay in rotation until they’re unable to be saved. 

“I’ll be right back,” Calum announces, pushing in a little closer to you. His lips press gingerly to your cheek before he stands. “No one scare them off while I’m gone.”

“Oh, we’ll behave,” Ashton giggled from behind his bottle. For a man who was newly single according to Calum, he was keeping his wits about him. He asked you questions, cracked jokes with Michael and Luke. Now without the sunglasses on his face, you spot the bright eyes to match his bright smile. 

“Calum tells us you paint,” Luke offers up before sucking the ranch off his fingers. “Working on anything new?”

“Oh, I’m almost finished with this painting for him. So, nothing new really. I should’ve been done ages ago, but something about it doesn’t feel finished just yet. We’ll see if it ever jumps out at me.”

“I’m sure it will soon,” Luke smiles.

“Would you ever consider doing art full time?” Michael questions. He goes in for another sip of his cocktail. 

“I much prefer it as a hobby, if I’m honest. I think I could see myself maybe taking it more seriously in the future, but I don’t know if it’s my next career move or not.”

“So you enjoy the restaurant life?” Ashton asks. “Or is that just where you prefer to stay in as your career?”

“A little bit of both, I guess,” you contemplate. “The industry is deadly  and I don’t want to be a linecook forever, but I think for right now, I prefer to say that this industry is where I make my money. When I leave work, I leave it--none of it comes back home with me.”

“Except for Calum,” Luke snorts. 

“I mean it’s not smart to shit where you eat, but so far it’s yet to blow up in my face so I’m hoping it never does. And technically, Calum’s not been to my place yet, so work has never actually come home with me. Can’t say the same for him.”

The boys cackle at your correction. “Fair,” Luke snickers. “I’m just happy to see him doing well again after everything that happened.”

The air feels sucked out of the room. Ashton and Michael’s smiles fall like bricks from their faces, clattering to the table beneath you all. You’re not aware of anything before, but now that it’s out there it sits on the table within arm’s reach like the wings and fries in front of you. Yet you don’t know if you should touch it. Don’t know if you should follow up on Luke’s line of conversation or pocket it for later. 

You reach for a fry instead, dipping into your side bowl of ketchup. “You sure know how to drop a bomb Luke. How’s the music going though?” 

You’re curious. What had happened to Calum before? As far as you were aware, he’d not been dating anymore, not seriously before you. Well, not that you knew of while you worked in the kitchen of course. The almost two years had been pretty quiet on the gossip train about Calum until you two got involved. But there’s plenty of time prior to that that you couldn’t account for. 

“So, you-you don’t know?” Michael questions. It cuts right under the question you asked to Luke. 

“No, no I don’t know.” It’s a simple sentence. Because you don’t. And you’re too tired to panic about what you don’t know. The worry of Teagan and Charlie outweighs whatever information you haven’t been given from Calum. 

“It’s a good thing,” Michael clarifies. “There’s been a really good change in Calum because of you. It’s not my place to tell you. But I do want you to know it isn’t bad.”

Luke sets his bottle down and pushes it with the tips of his fingers a couple more inches from his reach. “I’m sorry. Definitely should’ve been more careful about that kind of stuff. But it is good, like Michael says.”

Ashton scoots the bottle Luke pushed away closer to him. “Yeah, buddy, let me just hold onto that for you.”

It’s not fun to know that Calum’s withheld information. But you know that people will always play certain things close to their chest. You kept Teagan and Charlie close for so long. You kept your family drama close. Though it is a jolt, a shock to your system, you think it’s only fair that Calum has the things he wants to keep close too. Everyone has their demons. Perhaps the signs were always there. But there is always a reason. 

“So, everyone here is in music somehow. Who wants to go first about their current project? And please one at a time, or I will have to break out the talking stick, or rather talking bottle,” you tease. 

“Talking bottle?” Michael laughs. 

“Well, it’s a talking stick originally. Whomever has the stick speaks. Everyone else stays quiet and then it goes around person to person and back and forth between people if need be.” Your empty bottle of beer stares back at you and you lift a few inches off from the table. “But when in a bar, you improvise.”

“Are you saying we talk over each other?” Luke laughs with a bit of a squeal to his voice at the same time Ashton states, “I don’t really think we need to go that far.”

“If the boot fits,” you laugh. The fries have gone cold due to the time you’ve all spent talking, less focused on the actual drinks and food. But you reach for another couple as the boys bicker for a moment. They’re more like brothers than they are friends, as you watch them, reminding you of the way Teagan and Charlie interact with each other. It’s a playful banter, a quip always at the ready with them. 

“You okay?” 

You turn to the question, though you don’t need to. Calum’s scooted in a little closer to you. You can feel his warmth seeping into your back through his shirt on your body. “I’m okay. I like your friends.”

Calum’s lips are soft on your cheek. “Good. I think they like you too.”

“Try love them,” Michael corrects and no sooner than he makes the statement, he’s sucked back into Ashton’s claims that a band, you didn’t catch the name, is overrated. Ashton quickly reasserts he doesn’t mean it negatively. 

“They’re just too derivative of a derivative and ultimately aren’t producing anything cutting,” Ashton further explains. 

“We’re not talking about fucking algebra,” Michael quips. “We’re so far from the origins of the soundscapes for most genres. It’s all going to sound derivative, because it is. But it’s not about new, or shiny. It’s about saying it in a way that no one else has.”

It’s like Luke’s early faux pas didn’t even happen. Ashton and Michael verbally circle each other all the while Luke watches like one does a tennis match--Ashton then Michael. Michael then Ashton--back and forth for all it to end in a deuce. You wonder if either will ever get the two points to win. But the waitress comes by again and the collection take stalk of the table. There’s a few bottles scattered and you help her collect those, and order up on more drinks--some water, some sodas, a few more cocktails and alcoholic drinks thrown into the mix. 

“Would you ever take commissions? Even on the side?” Luke ponders. “Like one off projects and such?”

“Possibily,” you answer with a shrug. The majority of your work went to to a couple local places--the local children’s hospital enjoyed having your work on display as the children loved it. You’d gifted Teagan and Charlie small paintings after they begged for them. “Again, don’t want to make it my career, but you know if someone wanted to pay me to do something for them, I’d entertain the thought.”

“An original painting could do wonders at the local charity circuit,” Ashton pipes in. The comment isn’t for you and you peer over your shoulder to Calum. 

He stares wide eyed over his first beer that he’s yet to finish. “It could. But I-if it’s not your thing, you don’t have to do it.”

“Do what?” you question. There’s been no conversation about anything for charity in your presence. 

“In December, I have-I have a charity banquet to attend. There’s stuff that people auction off to raise money for the connected charities. I mentioned the the guys that it’d be nice to auction off something more meaningful. But I wasn’t sure if it was even appropriate to ask you about it. You’d only have two months and some change to finish it. There’s a website that goes up in the last week of November, a week and a half before the event so people can see the options.”

“Which charities?” You’d heard of the event, watched clips of the auction with more curiosity than true interest to watch rich people flaunt their philanthropy. 

“I think this year is focusing on women’s rights, especially the efforts on pushing law enforcement to investigate those missing. The deadline to submit proposals is in two weeks though. Which is like, not great planning on my end I know.”

“What do you normally auction off?”

“Volunteer time.” 

“How comfortable are you with volunteer time?” You’d at least think about it. It might be more than you could handle, but you’d chew the thought over. Especially since you did still have questions about whatever Luke alluded to earlier. 

“I like it; I don’t mind volunteering. It’s a nice change of pace honestly. Just--I think others should see your talents too.”

The blush that creeps up on his cheeks nearly melts you. Though your gut initially wants to dismiss it as the flush of alcohol, you know the truth. When Calum casts his gaze down and picks at his nails, you know that he’s a little shy in the confession. You take his hand gingerly on top of the table and the action is enough for him to look up. “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” 

At the very end when the check hits the table, all four boys reach it, cards and cash in hand. Ashton ends up footing the bill but the rest of the boys hand over cash or tap at their screens to ensure Ashton’s paid for their portions. “How much do I owe Calum?” you ask, noticing the bill’s being split four ways instead of five. 

He shakes his head. “I got you, baby. Don’t worry.”

“You sure?”

“More than sure.”

“I’ll pay next time.” It’s not fully a suggestion, but you still offer it softly. 

Calum takes a squeeze at your hand after slipping his phone into his pocket. “Okay.” It’s easy, simple. He smiles at you and the group pushes up from the table. Michael, Luke, and Ashton all give you hugs as you leave. 

“You’ll come next time too, right?” Luke asks. “We bring all the partners. Be a nice time, I think.”

“I’d be happy to see you all again,” you agree. The agreement leads to another round of hugs, the group spilling out into the outdoors. The night is darker, a little cooler than you first left it. Calum’s hold around your hand tightens for only a moment and you squeeze in return at the action. 

You know there’s always a better time, a better place. The parking lot of this bar definitely does not feel like the right time. But you’re not sure when it will be. “Luke mentioned something when you stepped away to the restroom. And-and I’d like to ask you about it.”

The tension thickens. Calum’s shoulders become rigid under the t-shirt. “It doesn’t sound like a good thing.”

Not a shut down, only a phish for more information. One you’re happy to supply. “It is good in a way. The group seems to be really happy that you’re in a good relationship. But the way Luke said it, it made me think there’s definitely something, or someone before.”

“I don’t want anyone else if that’s what you’re wondering. That doesn’t matter anymore.”

“I’m-I’m not worried about that. I’m not really worried about anything. I just--whenever you’re ready to talk about what happened before, I’d like to know.”

You think that’s going to be the end of the conversation. You wouldn’t fault it at all. Perhaps, you’d been all too blinded by Calum choosing you that you hadn’t fully wondered what was going on in his past. You didn’t think the stories of Calum’s childhood could be a smoke screen. They were real. They were all a part of what made Calum Calum. But Luke’s comment cracks open the possibility that you’d been blinded. As hungry as you were to have Calum to yourself the reality of it all is that he’s not to be consumed. 

“I just--there’s stuff I haven’t asked you, you know? I want the bad stuff too. So I know how to be there for you. So I know how to love you.” The words fall, buzzing on your lips and tongue. You’d want to pick them up after they’ve fallen, but you know it's wasted energy. They’re out there now. You can’t do anything but watch Calum’s back. The tension has dropped. He doesn’t look ready to run. 

“Part of it feels ridiculous,” Calum admits. He tugs your hand, closing the gap between the two of you. “There’s so much worse that’s happening to other people. And my hurt just starts to feel small.”

“It’s not a competition of pain. Your hurt isn’t smaller than someone else’s.” You’re slotted against Calum’s chest. There’s no brim of a hat, no glasses to hide him away. There’s just the fear--plain as day on his face. “If I ever made this feel like a competition, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, you didn’t make it feel like a competition. I think,” he pauses with a sigh. “It’s totally different. I feel like I want to love again. With you. It wasn’t always like that.”

Your fingertips ache. You want to cup his jaw, ask him to explain to you from the top what it was like before. You don’t, thinking a camera lens could be pointed at you right now. Perhaps there would always be and now it’s less about them and more about Calum. With caution, you trace at his jaw, trailing up until your palm rests against his full cheek. “I’m glad it’s better now.”

Calum’s eyes shut, lashes nearly brushing the top of his cheeks. Like babies root to touch, Calum turns into your hold, lips pressing to your palm with a kiss. “But it was bad. And you should know.”

“Only when you’re ready,” you whisper. You’re glad there’s no breeze, lest your words have gotten swept up in it. 

“Can I tell you on the drive?”

Your answer is only a nod. You want to do more, kiss him. Let him know you’re there. You think if it could be done, you’d crawl into his chest, whisper to his heart that you don’t have plans on breaking it. But this is not a fairytale. You know strife always comes. The only solace one can have is that they don’t cause too much of it. 

It’s quiet at first, as Calum pulls out of the parking lot and onto the streets. You watch the signs for the highway, watch Calum take the entrance ramp, spending up so that he can merge. You’re not headed back to the palace. You’re actually going in the opposite direction. You don’t know what could be out there, what Calum has up his sleeve. But you don’t question it. 

“Her name is Nora,” Calum starts. 

You know of a Nora-- a princess fit to inherit within the next three years. Her particular people believed in a matriarch. Though Queens took husbands, they almost always never turned over power. “Like Princess Nora or the girl next door to the palace Nora?” 

“The princess,” Calum answers, but he does grin for a brief moment taking a look at your face. 

There are no girls next door--you know that. But somehow the truth still unsettles. You don’t remember murmurs about Nora from the kitchen. The kitchen staff passed time in gossip. You knew more about the royal family you worked for and others merely because the gossip seemingly made the seconds fly by. You’d never cared for it before and didn’t care for it when you worked there. You let the others do the talking. 

“We dated back in college for two and half years.”

That’s well before you would’ve even been considering working for the palace. No wonder it hadn’t come up around you. “I’m guessing it wasn’t amicable.”

Calum shrugs. “I don’t know if amicable is remotely close. But it didn’t end badly. Just rough. When we broke up, I spent a year wallowing. I wanted to pretend I was okay, but she was my first love in a way. I’d dated before in high school, but they’d only lasted a few months. Not nearly enough time to mean anything in comparison.”

“I think your training in Brazil ruined you,” you tease, watching through the front windshield as the dark asphalt and street lights whizz around you. 

“I know, I know. Not a competition. But the crushes in high school were just that--crushes. We dated, held hands, kissed, but Nora was my first serious relationship. I’d been looking at rings.”

Rings-- the word bites at your veins. Calum doesn’t say it with ease, his hands clutching the wheel so hard his knuckles are paling. They’d been deep into the relationship--enough so that marriage was potentially on the line. Your fingers twitch to soothe his, but you restrain yourself given his work at the wheel. 

“Sounds like you never made the purchase?” you probe, hoping it’s as gentle as it can be. You are curious. You want Calum to know that you are listening too. 

“Never had the opportunity, thankfully so, I guess. Nora graduated in December and I graduated in May. She’d taken some summer classes to help get ahead and done some work in high school to get a head start. Nora asked me at the start of winter break, right after she graduated, if I intended on marrying her. I was honest. I told her that I would like to, after we both had a couple years out from school. There would be a lot of logistics involved.”

“Politcs,” you point out. “She’s a part of a matriarch. You’re in a patriarchal system.” The quip about you being lower class, how much easier it is to date someone with no political ties, burns at your tongue. But you know Calum. It won’t go well at all; he’ll beg you to stop the self deprecation, tell you that he loves you for you. It’s all things you know.  

Calum winces at the phrasing. “I mean that’s what it was. But at the time, I didn’t see it like that. I was idealistic about it, toxically optimistically probably. Not that I’m not the same now, but I hope not nearly as much.”

He risks a glance, like he poised a question. You only shrug at first, but then add on, "Optimistic, yes. Toxic, no. You know when you admit you’re wrong.”

“Improvement then, I guess, from then. Nora didn’t want to turn over her right to rule. I didn’t want to turn over my right to rule. And even if I told her she wouldn’t be, she didn’t see it that way. I thought she was being nitpicky. No one would care at the end of the day because her politics would still stand. I wouldn’t interfere with her work. But ultimately, it was--it was crumbling. The second I answered that we could rule separately but still be together and she looked at me with confusion--it was over. Rock meet glass house.”

You can imagine it--the strong brow on Nora furrowing as Calum spoke. The way she might’ve shaken her head and spoke firmly, black hair spilling over her shoulder as it always did in her press speeches. Nora is a force--fierce with seemingly little fear about the perception from others. Where Calum played a careful game, Nora played the explosive kind. She’s smart, by no means did her passion outshine her intelligence, but she was always speaking out first about things. She was one of the people rallying others. It’s easy to see how with Nora it became all or nothing 

Calum continues on, signaling as he speaks to take an exit. “I tried to date, but my heart wasn’t in it. I didn’t want to be dating if I’m honest. I’d told myself that I’d just be single. I’d take on the throne and settle into that- give it five, seven, ten years before I married. It really wouldn’t matter. Luke was trying to set me up on dates. But they never went anywhere. Didn’t even want sex if I’m honest. I refused it a couple times and both girls and guys  thought I was crazy. Sometimes, I don’t know. Sometimes I did it anyway because it was a distraction. Nothing really numbed the pain though. There was just this constant ache I had. I’d envisioned myself a dad--playing sports in the back garden, or in ballet recitals for daddy and daughter dance classes. I’d always pictured myself on the throne, working in the Cabinet. Those weren’t things I’d want to give up, even for Nora. That’s what made it scary. She had her way of thinking. Her people rule the way they do and that’s fine. But I always knew I was going to be King. I knew even if I didn’t always want it that I wouldn’t give up on the responsibility.”

You can hear what’s between those words, what still causes Calum pain.  “But it meant giving up Nora, right? If you were always going to take your throne and she was always going to take hers, then the only thing left is what happened.” It doesn’t shock you to hear how much Calum dreamed of his future. You don’t worry that he still wants it—those things could all be worked out eventually. But you know that Calum’s so caught up on making things work for the best possible outcome that he doesn’t always remember that life is not always about the best. 

“Yeah,” Calum sighs. It’s heavy and comes deep from within his chest, “but I wanted it all. You know. I wanted her and I wanted to follow through on my duties. I wanted it fucking all and at the time, it felt like I’d lost everything. We knew after that conversation it wouldn’t be compatible. Nora and I’s relationship required sacrifices that we were too young and too driven to make. Nora deserves where she’s at. She deserves to rule. And I don’t think she could’ve been happy any other way.”

“Do you think you could’ve been happy any other way? As little as I actually know about her--and I reserve the right to absolutely be wrong about it--it was your relationship too.”

The roads are narrowing. You watch now as the dark asphalt lightens, there’s a few more bumps along the way. You round the bend and the ocean opens up in front of you. You know the beach is closed but it doesn’t seem to stop Calum as he pulls to a stop in the parking lot. The lights stuff off from the car, leaving you surrounded in the thick mass of the night. The sun’s long gone. The lights are off in the truck too. The engine knocks just a little as the vehicle settles. 

“I might’ve been, but if I’m honest I didn’t spend 4 years in college and 4 years under my father’s immediate wings for nothing. I’d been putting time into my own aspirations and I don’t think long term that relationship would’ve been good for me,” Calum answers as he turns to you. The seatbelt clanks against the plastic interior. “I hope the beach is okay.”

“The beach is fine.” You undo your seatbelt as well, listening to the way it winds back up into place. ���Making the right choices sometimes isn’t easy,” you admit. Like the right choice to change jobs. Like the right choice to stay for Teagan and Charlie. Like the right choice for Calum to let Nora go. 

“Yeah,” Calum agrees. “Sometimes it’s not.”

You find Calum’s hand, threading your fingers through his. “I hope your choices next time are easier.”

“They’ve gotten easier,” he confesses. “Talking to you was easy. You always treated me like a person.”

“Because you are one.” It’s a simple answer, but you know it to be true. Calum’s just a person. Though he had politics about him, though he was in a world foreign to you at all times and even overwhelming, he was just a person like you. “You’re human like the rest of us.”

“Doesn’t always feel like it.” 

You don’t want to imagine the pressure on Calum’s shoulder, a pressure so unsustainable. But the wheel must spin. The cruelty of it all is that someone has to win and someone has to lose. 

“What’s the relationship like now with Nora? Is it still tense?”

“Not as much as before. It’s professional at this point, as much as it can be.” 

“Two and a half years is a long time though. Makes sense.”

“We tried to make it work. Six months we kept trying to keep pushing and find a solution. But we only sort of grew to resent each other. We were always fighting. Nora called it off, ultimately. She was the one that saw we were crashing and burning. I didn’t want to admit it even if I noticed it too. So to say it was amicable, not quite. It was mutual though.”

You know Calum even in the dark. You know the squint of his eyes, the way his cheeks meld to your hold. You know the catch of his breath when you brush your fingers over the veins on his neck. His veins thump under your touch and then you drag the touch up to his jaw. “Thank you for telling me. That wasn’t easy for you, I can see.”

“I don’t particularly like thinking about it,” Calum admits. His throat seizes. You feel the small quake under your fingers. “I didn’t talk about it. Not even with the boys for a long time.”

“If there’s anyone that understands, it’s me. There’s nasty things in life sometimes. Stuff that we don’t want to talk about, don’t want to deal with. Thing’s we’d prefer to swallow down and never pull back up. I get it,” you assure. 

Something warm hits your fingers. It’s only a few drops--tears you assume. Pushing up, you find his lips, a kiss soft and sweet. Calum’s quick to grapple you, encase you in his arms and tug. You’re pulled as far as you can over the console. And you let yourself go. It’s awkward, your back hurts just a little. But Calum exhales into your mouth, shaky as he breathes. 

“Scoot the seat all back. You’re going to break my back,” you tease after the hug lasts longer than you anticipate.

“That’s now how I imagined doing it,” Calum teases, his breath ghosting over your lips. He reaches down to pull the lever and push the driver seat back. 

Settled onto Calum’s lap, you pull him back into your chest. His fingers are buried--under the shirt--pressing into your flesh like his digits can burrow deeper into your, pass the muscle and fat, into the hollows of blood and organs. You don’t stop him, just press a kiss to his forehead as you cradle his head. His body tremors and there’s the occasional sniffle. The tears are hot on your thumbs, but you wipe them away, slow and steady. 

“It’s okay, Calum. You can let it all out now,” you encourage. You know you can’t fix anything. You can’t change the past. But you let him release it. The thing about carrying things that are buried is that they tend to come back when you don’t want them too--like wild animals fed, the things that get buried only ever come back. 

Your stroke along his neck, over his shoulders. Your words are soft. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay. You’re safe to let it out.”

The tremors cease after a long stretch of time, 10 or so minutes,--Calum’s crying reduced now to just the sniffles, just the remnant of tears that trail down his cheeks. With one deep inhale, Calum brings his face out of your hands and rests his head down on your shoulder. His lips brush at your neck, in what are nearly kisses. Your knees ache, you’re sure that when you finally sit your toes are going to tingle due to the lack of blood for the time being. But this is all temporary, not something you need to worry about when you can still hear the shuddery exhales of Calum. 

“Haven’t had someone in a long time tell me I was safe,” he whispers against your skin. His voice is thick with the tears and emotion he’s split. His arms constrict again around your back, arms locked as if attempting to cage you in. You know better. You know it’s for comfort. 

“Well you are; you’re safe with me.”

“Thank you.” The phrase is followed by a kiss this time to your neck. He follows the line to your throat with more gratitude on his tongue. He paints your skin with the phrase. You wonder when you shower again if the words will show up as tattoos on your throat. His forehead is firm in your sternum but you don’t mind the pressure when he falls back into the shelter of your body. 

“You’re welcome,” you return to Calum. 

His voice rumbles through your chest, you catch something that sounds like smell but you can’t fully place it. You thread your fingers around the back of his neck and squeeze. It’s not enough pressure to cause pain but it coaxes his head back. “I said you smell good,” he laughs. 

“Thank you,” you laugh. 

The dark doesn’t make it easy, but you imagine that his cheeks might be flushed, that there might be a little bit of pink to them. There’s some light due to the tall streetlights in the parking lot, but you two are far enough at the edge of the beacon of one and the end of the parking lot so it leaves the truck in the glow of a light and not fully lit. His eyes glisten though as he watches you. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” you huff, pressing at his shoulders. 

“Look at you like what?”

“Like you can’t help but love me.” 

“I do love you.”

It’s wrong to say what’s pressing at your teeth, do you love me enough for sacrifice. You know it given what Calum had just confessed. Maybe the two of you were still too young and too stubborn for the kind of love that required sacrifice. Perhaps it’s the kind of love that you had to mature into with each other. Calum wouldn’t have much to sacrifice, save for a few comments, a few sneers. You’d always have something to sacrifice. 

“What’s going on? You can talk to me,” Calum coaxes, hands moving from your hips to your cheeks, thumbs swiping right under your eyes. There are no tears. 

“It’s not a fair question,” you return. “It’s not the right time to ask it.”

“Will you ask it when it’s the right time?” Calum questions. It falls out quietly. You can hear it land into your lap, soft and fragile like the first snow. For a moment, you hope that this winter gives a fresh and deep dusting. The summer was warm and thick. You want winter to be cold. 

“If the right time comes up.”

“No, no not if, when. When it’s the right time to ask, you’ll ask, right?”

It’s a promise that will make you a liar. You know it. “Do you want to make me a liar?”

“Just this once,” Calum answers. 

“What if it’s never a fair question?” What if it’s just insecurity that you’re letting get the best of you?  

“This,” Calum returns, a hand waving between the two of your bodies. “This is not a glass house we’re building. It doesn’t always have to be a fair question. Just as long as it can be made into an honest conversation.”

A conversation--a much more fair objective. You bring your forehead to his--the beer’s a  faint ghost on his breath. All you can smell is Calum--the pomade in his hair, the cologne he sprayed on his throat and wrist that smells like expensive leather with a hint of sandalwood and something sweet like vanilla. You trace the veins in his neck, a steady thumping of his heart under your gentle press. 

“I’m not sure of many things in my life,” you start. “I never had the chance to live with certainty. I always keep that voice in the back of my head fed, that tells me you’ll grow bored. You’ll want someone with less baggage. You’ll need something more suited for the life you have. Because you’re a fucking Prince. I’m a fucking cook. It’s all I ever had--the cooking and a little bit of art to keep me going. But I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I like you. I love you too. But I wonder how far this can go. How far do you want to take it, you know? I don’t need announcements on social media or anything like that. I just--I keep the voice in the back of my head fed because what if all this leaves me.”

Calum’s lips are soft. His mouth sealing around yours in a kiss. His hands are warm on your face. The tears are hot on your cheek--yours this time. What if you lose it all? What if it all goes away? You cannot consume him. But you wish you could. 

“We never know what life’s going to bring, baby.” The silver bracelet Calum slipped on dazzles just a little in the glint of the faint light coming in through the car window. “I know I want to be with you. I know I want to wake up next to you. I want to take you on dates, even if it’s just picnics in the park. I want to show you off to my friends. I want to have a relationship with Teagan and Charlie too. I want to take you all out, have them crash some bumper cars, feed them too much fucking candy and make your parents hate me just a little because I always drop their two youngest off on a sugar high. I want to watch you paint and talk about our days together. I want,” he pauses. You watch his eyes flicker from your face to the space around the car. He’s searching. You don’t know for what though you do hope it’s the words.

You squeeze his face. “You want what?” You just want to hear the words: that Calum wants you. You know it’s true. You just need to hear it. 

He continues on. “I just want you,” Calum laughs, squeezing at your hips. “I want to adopt a dog with you. I miss my boy, Duke, so fucking much. He’s a hole in my heart but I know that I still have love to give. I know it’s not always going to be easy with me. I know it’s scary. But I don’t want these things with anyone else, baby. If I had the opportunity to beg life for anything, I’d beg for you; that you get to stay with me so that you can teach me things, so I can teach you things. You’ll have to stop feeding that voice. It’s a hungry bastard, but starve it.” His arms are trembling. The emotion rocks his voice. 

“Starve it,” he whispers. “I want you to starve that voice so that you can enjoy this too, so that you don’t keep waiting for the bad and start to enjoy the good thing in front of you. We’ll never know what life’s going to bring. I certainly didn’t think life would bring me you. And yet, it did. I’m so happy it did.”

It’s a rush, the surge in the centimeters between the two of you to seal Calum’s mouth in a kiss. I just want you. It’s terrifying to want. Here, especially with Calum. Wanting things didn’t mean you needed them. Wanting things didn’t mean you’d get them either. But you are lying if you say you don’t want Calun. You’re lying if you say you don’t want him to want you. And you’ve always known it. But knowing how far he was with Nora, a part of you just needs reassurance. 

Reassurance comes when Calum kisses back. It comes when he pants into your skin how much he waits for calls. It comes when he squeezes at your hips, rocks you over his pelvis. Reassurance comes when hands are deftly teasing skin under shirts. When you don’t waste time with either of you fully undressing, and you watch the fog creep up on the windows, you feel reassured. Reassurance comes when the gratitude Calum painted you in earlier turns into desire, when he tattoos into your skin I love you over and over with his lips and tongue. 

You need that reassurance like you need the graze of his teeth over your collar bone. Need the curl of his fingers into your flesh. You need the shuddered moans of your steady rhythm as your pelvis rocks up and down his. You need him. You crave him. You want him. You want Calum in every sense of phrase--you want to tell Calum about your day. You want to hear about his day. You want the dog too. You want Diana and Melvin to be pissed at the sight of you and Calum because they know there’s about to be too much sugar involved. You want to paint for Calum, want him to ask you about each color and each stroke. 

“I think you might be the death of me,” you whisper against his jaw. The tension in your stomach tightens as Calum bucks up against your clothed pelvis. You gasp at the feeling. You know the stretch of him, how well he treats you on his cock and tongue. His truck may not be the best place for it, but the thought crosses your mind to beg for it. That is until Calum responds to your statement. 

“No,” Calum groans, “No, I want you to live for me.” His hands slide up your back. The tug pulls you in with ease--your chest pressed into his. “Can you do that for me? Can you live for me?”

I want you to live for me. Another gasp leaves you. Body teetering on the edge of release but the shock pulls you far enough from the edge. You don’t want a glass house with Calum either. You want something real. Perhaps, you want something to live for too--needed it without really knowing you needed that kind of direction. 

You know you can’t live for Calum long-term. You’ll need something else eventually. But Calum’s the best start. You nod before Calum presses you down onto his bulge again. “I can.”

“Good,” he grins. “Now, c’mere.”

The rumble in his voice makes your stomach liquid. Your skin buzzes as you kiss him again. Your orgasm rockets through you as Calum’s tongue pants your mouth. Your fingers dig into his shoulders, body quaking with the fire of your desire consuming you. “That’s it, fuck, baby,” Calum whispers against your mouth, his voice tight. 

Calum won’t be far behind you. You let your hand graze over his nipple, up to his throat. The hold is featherlight. But it’s enough for his eyes to flutter for a moment. You grin. “Make a mess for me,” you command, pressing harder into Calum. 

They say fire only needs oxygen--it takes one gulp and then bursts into flames, an inferno of a single spark. Calum only needs the command, the light press of your fingers at the sides of his throat before his body goes rigid. His gasp falls choked before you pull yourself in close, swiping your tongue over his parted lips. The ghost of his breath, the huff of air as he comes down from his orgasm fans over your face. You revel in it, grinning as you listen to his raggedy breathing. 

Calum laughs, head falling into the rest. You curl into his chest though there’s dampness from your own orgasms and Calum’s creeping in through the denim. “All that’s missing now is the handprint on the window,” he teases. Calum’s fingers are gentle over your back, tracing the length of your spine. 

You reach out to touch the driver side window. “Done.” The scent of leather swells your nose, long after you’ve slipped back into the passenger seat. Calum’s cologne is signed onto the hairs in your nose. The dampness of your jeans turns into a coolness as it starts to dry. Calum’s hand is warm on your knee. I want you to live for me. Insecurity is a useless emotion, yet it still reared it’s ugly head. You were glad to hear Calum’s reassurance. But his demand that you live for him; that you starve the voice in your mind that keeps waiting for the bad, is dizzying. When your entire world has been set in hiding, never being heard or seen, it’s unsettling to have someone draw you out. Calum wants to draw you. He wants you to live in a life that you’d been content with. You hope the spotlight doesn’t burn you.

#calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #calum hood series #calum hood smut #calum hood imagine #prince!calum #calum hood x reader #calum hood x gender neutral reader #5sos #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos series #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer series #5 seconds of summer imagine #h writes

[nimrats]

ㅤ ㅤ ✿ ; STAR OF THE NIGHT, ̽ ₊

calum hood ❣︎ model!oc

warnings ; mentions of toxic family relationships / abuse and eating disorders. swearing and probably alluding to sex / sexual innuendos, but i won’t write smut. ✧₊˚·

°.* ʚ he doesn’t know her name, but he knows she’s the star of the night. whether it was just to him, or the rest of the audience too. ɞ *.°

OC ୨୧ ELSIE FINN ── learn more !!

taglist available!! just ask :)

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ 𖦹 CHAPTERS ! 𖦹

prologue ── people watching

#🧶 > star of the night ! #calum hood blurb #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #calum hood imagine #calum 5sos #calum hood #calum hood x oc #calum hood x y/n #calum hood x you #calum hood x reader #calum hood series #calum hood fic #calum hood oneshot #5 seconds of summer fic #5sos fic #5sos fanfic #michael clifford imagine #luke hemmings imagine #ashton irwin imagine #calum hood smut

[ghost-of-you]

Catch 22 - CH - Bonus Chapter

Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: none, this is just fluff.

Author's note: Okay, so, I've had this written as bullet points but with nothing really concrete since I first outlined the series, but it didn't really fit with what i posted, so i just let it be, until a few days ago when @getsojaded said a few nice things about this series that had me thinking about it again. Then this was born. It's just domestic fluff. The angst writer in me didn't know I could write something that's just fluffy, but here we are.

If you just came across this, I don't think you need to read the whole series to think this is cute so if you just wanna read some fluff maybe go for it oskaoskaoksoaks.

The title for this one is from sweet nothings by Taylor Swift

read it on ao3

Series Masterlist

playlist

_________

You're in the kitchen humming...

Emma follows the noise more than anything else. She’s not really used to waking up alone anymore so when she rolled over in bed to find Calum’s side empty, she was confused. Then she heard the clanking coming from the kitchen, so she sleepily moves to their closet, grabbing the first of Calum’s hoodies she could get her hands on, before walking through the house, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, watching Calum's back as he reads something in his phone while leaning against the counter and humming a melody she doesn’t really recognize, the band was back in the studio, so for all she knows it could be something new he’s working on, before walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his middle.

“Hi,” she says, leaning against his back, her head on his arm.

“Morning,” Calum says, turning his head to kiss the top of her head, and she giggles.

“What are you doing?” She asks, leaning her head to the side a bit more, glancing around all the ingredients around the counter before looking at his phone so she could see what he was reading, finding a brownie recipe. 

“Woke up feeling like baking,” he shrugs and she giggles.

“Okay, you need help?” She asks, moving to sit on the chair next to them.

“Not unless you’re ready to tell me the secret to your brownies,” he teases, glancing at her with pleading eyes and a grin, making her laugh.

“Okay,” she agrees, folding her sleeves so she could use her hands, pulling her hair up, and the bowl next to her closer and he turns to her, looking surprised.

“Wait, really?” He asks, face lighting up, making her heart flutter as she nods.

“Yeah.” The nod becomes a giggle when he leans forward, kissing her, then becomes a laughing fit when she almost falls off the chair as she chases his lips when he pulls away, making him have to catch her so she wouldn’t end up face first on the floor, laughing too.

“You okay?” Calum asks when he finally stops laughing, and she nods.

“You’re gonna be disappointed though,” she scrunches her nose, looking at him.

“Why?”

“It’s just chocolate,” she explains, pressing her lips together and turning to the counter, pulling the bag of flour and a measuring cup.

“What is just chocolate?” He frowns as he watches her pour the flour into the bowl.

“I add melted chocolate and cocoa powder to the batter, then I put some chips in it just for good measure,” she laughs, glancing at him while motioning for him to get the sugar for her.

“So it’s just an insane amount of chocolate?” He asks when he hands her the bag, and she nods. 

“Sorry to disappoint you,” she giggles as she adds the sugar and he slides the cocoa powder to her.

“Not disappointed, I should’ve guessed it was something like that,” he chuckles and she smiles at him as she mixes, “so you just put the chips in the microwave, or do you need to melt it in some fancy way?”

“Microwave is fine,” she says and he nods, kissing the side of her head as he moves to the microwave, “did you melt the butter?” 

“Yeah, it’s in the other bowl, you mix wet and dry separately, right? So I already mixed it with the eggs,” he tells her, making her laugh, “wait does the chocolate go with the wet or the dry?” He asks when he moves back and she raises an eyebrow at him, “never mind, stupid question,” he laughs, mixing the chocolate in. 

“I’m gonna get a tray,” she says as he finishes the batter and he grins at her. 

“You think they’re gonna turn out as good as yours?” Calum asks once the brownies are in the oven, sitting on the chair by the counter and pulling her to him so she's standing between his legs.

“I don’t see why they wouldn’t,” she says, leaning into his chest and hiding her face in his neck when he wraps his arms around her. 

“We’ll see,” he says to her hair, and she nods. 

“In a few minutes, yeah." 

"I'm gonna let Duke out," he says, letting go of her and she pouts at him, making him laugh and kiss her, earning him a giggle.

"I'll make coffee and clean then." 

The counter is clean, the dishes are washed and Emma is checking to see if the brownies are done when Calum comes back.

"Love?" He calls from somewhere behind her as she looks around for the oven mitts and she hums in acknowledgment, "do you remember the first time I had your brownies?" 

"Yeah," she laughs, opening the oven door and pulling the tray out, "you joked I was your favorite person and that I should marry you, hard to forget," she adds, setting the tray on top of the oven, "why?" 

"You are my favorite person," Calum says, and she chuckles, turning to him, finding him down on one knee, her eyes widening as she looks at him, "would you please marry me?" He asks, opening the ring box, but she's answering before he's quite finished speaking.

"Yes," she says, her voice sounding way too high as she drops to her knees too, "oh my god, yes," she repeats, throwing her arms around him, almost making them fall back and he laughs as he holds them up and her tightly against him, before she pulls away and starts kissing him. 

"Can you let me give you the ring now?" He asks against her lips and she can't stop smiling as she nods and pulls back, giving him her hand.

"I love you," she says once the ring is on her finger and she throws herself at him again.

"I love you too, so much," he says, cupping her cheeks and kissing her, before pulling them up.

"Did you plan this?" She asks, looking at the brownies and back to his face and he shakes his head.

"Not really. I've been trying to find the right moment and this felt right, so I just went for it. I was right to assume you would prefer something like that, right?" He asks, studying her face and she nods.

"Yeah, that was perfect actually, if you tried to pull something too elaborate I would've freaked out." 

"I know."

"This is just," she breathes, looking at the ring, "I love you so much." 

"Me or the ring?" Calum teases and she rolls her eyes.

"You know I would marry you in a parking lot with a ring pop."

"Yeah?" He asks, pulling her to him and she shakes her head, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"No, I'm only with you for the money," Emma jokes and he laughs.

"Damnit," he complains looking away, but he’s still laughing. 

"Babe, I've been in love with you for a decade," she says, cupping his cheeks to get him to look at her again.

"It's a long-term investment," he jokes and she gives him an unimpressed look.

"Idiot." 

"Your idiot," he grins at her, leaning in so he could kiss her, and she giggles against his lips.

“I can live with that,” she grins, kissing his cheek and moving away from his hold, opening a drawer to look for a knife for the brownies.

"Wait," she stops, closing the drawers without pulling anything out, turning back to Calum, "who gets M on the ceremony?"

______

taglist: @lxnelyhearrt @larryologymajor

#catch22 #calum hood fic #calum hood fanfic #5sos fics #5sos fanfic #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #calum hood fluff #i cant believe im still writing them but who am i to deny inspiration when it comes oskaoskaoskaoskas #maybe other bonus chapters will happen #who knows i definitely dont