#Also this came at such a good time I was literally having an anxiety attack a few moments ago and this cheered me right the fuck up

[fluidfox123]

Lets say someone wanted to draw you something, like pfp or anything else, what would you want it to be of? -👑anon

Uhhhhh- man, I don't know? I've had one of my fav ask blogs draw my internet persona before? Most of my pfp pics on my socials are of ROTTMNT Leo (he is so gender, I love him so much), and I really like angst stuff? I'm mostly described as the embodiment of a colorful comic book, but all of its contents are filled with the darkest shit you've ever seen LMAO/gen

I know this isn't an outright answer, but I'm kinda spitballing ideas because I'm going to be completely honest here. Anything anyone makes for me goes in a special folder to be cherished forever. So if you or anyone makes or shares anything with and/for me, that shit is getting put up on my digital fridge to admire UGHTYNHTJGRF

#fox speaks #if this gets combined into a pfp of a colorful comicbook background and leo right smack in the middle who is crying his fucking eyes out #I might genuinely perish/pos #but for dear god anon or anyone who makes me things please don't like- pressure yourself or think it's gonna be shit because I am dead #serious that whatever you make is going to be good enough #and I will fight anyone who disagrees/gen #anon #👑anon #thanks for the ask! #I'm getting so many asks this is literally so nice LMAO #I love talking with people wheather it's about my obsessions or someone else's or literally anything #the bad part is I just fucking talk a lot uhgugjt5rfe #as seen in these tags ironically enough #anyway hi person who actually read all of this XD #Also this came at such a good time I was literally having an anxiety attack a few moments ago and this cheered me right the fuck up

[fingertipsmp3]

Was straight up Not Doing Well but then I met a cat and now I think I’m okay

#there was nothing specifically wrong with me. it’s just been one of those days #i woke up way too early for no reason and couldn’t get back to sleep and then my grandparents decided to read all the forms i’m bringing #to my job interview on monday (an application form basically) without asking me and ignored me trying to tell them ‘there’s no info about #the job in there’ and also straight up ‘please don’t read that. there’s no reason for you to read that’ #i guess there’s no reason for me to be irked by it because everything in there is stuff they already know about me but like.. it struck me #as rude. and then they didn’t even put it back on the table where they found it?? they put it on a random chair #then i pretty much got ordered to tidy up #then my friend called me having an anxiety attack and i had to run over to her house to make sure the doors were locked (they were) #i also had to bang on every door and window to make sure neither the dog nor the baby had been left home alone by her mom #so now the neighbours probably think i was burgling the place. i had her on the phone so i was prepared to hand it over if anyone questioned #me but still. it can’t have looked great. at one point i was literally in the back garden yelling the kid’s name trying to prove a negative #anyway the kid and the dog weren’t in the house alone. so that’s good #but Then i went for a walk around the village (to help me emotionally deal with all of this) and i sat in the church garden for a bit #and a chunky black cat purred at me and came and sat on my lap. he had long claws so it did hurt a bit i won’t lie #i think next time i might bring an extra jacket so there can be a layer in between him and my thighs. he was very friendly though #i might also bring him a toy because i’m pretty sure he lives in the garden and i know at least one person feeds him but he probably doesn’t #have a ton of stuff to do. and i don’t want to bring more food because he really is Chonky #which i mean.. same but i don’t want to disrupt the balance of whatever dietary plan he may be on #anyway. i love cats #personal

[nakahras]

᯽ fireworks • chuuya nakahara

synopsis • it’s the first time seeing chuuya after meursault. he left without a word and came back without a word. alternatively, the first time you tell chuuya you love him.

warnings • lower case is intentional, depictions of overstimulation/anxiety/panic attack, cursing, reader has an ability (description below), and fem!reader

wc • 2.8k

a/n • chuuya fluff my beloved <3

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽

ability • ravalry: allows its user to read the thoughts of someone through their emotions. the user can also push thoughts onto a target as well as emotions. this can cause the target to experience hallucinations both visual and auditory. it can also cause the target to feel certain emotions against their own will. the user, if not careful, can become overwhelmed by others’ thoughts and emotions themself.

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽

you watch as the night sky ignites into every color under the rainbow. the firework show from tonight’s festivities had been going on for almost 15 minutes now. almost all of the ada members had decided to participate. hell, even dazai caved and dressed in his best traditional clothes at the request - begging really - of atsushi. but even dazai’s participation couldn’t convince you to stay.

crowds had never agreed with you. they were noisy and it always felt suffocating. but there wasn’t a lack of effort, thanks to atsushi and dazai’s puppy dog eyes. it was comical considering those two boys are the most cat coded people you have ever met in your life. atsushi being a literal tiger at times. but unfortunately you only lasted a total of 67 minutes before your ability made everything extremely overwhelming.

even under fukuzawa’s “all men are created equal” you had a bad habit of subconsciously activating your ability and becoming far too overwhelmed by everyone else's thoughts to turn it off. dazai was able to stay back with you and use his own ability to calm you down. you were obviously grateful but you didn’t want to keep pulling him to you every time it happened.

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽

“do i get a reward for helping out my fellow ada member?” dazai’s voice was as light as ever, obviously he had been trying to make light of your situation.

this was the first time in a long time he had come out with everyone, the first time he came out since meursault, which was also a reminder that you still hadn’t heard from a certain gravity manipulator since arriving back in yokohama. you didn’t want to ruin the fun for everyone just because of your heightened emotions and constant loss of control. it wasn’t fair to anyone, most of all dazai.

you smiled meekly at the brunette. you could see it in the way his eyes dulled, that he’d already known what you were about to say, you said it anyway. “how about i reward you with the rest of the night off? i’m not cut out for these crowds. think i’m just gonna head to the empty pier and watch the fireworks from there.”

you started to back away but dazai persistently followed. “c’mon, you can’t possibly be upset over that shr-“

“dazai.” you’d promptly cut him off, not wanting to admit to yourself, let alone dazai that you were upset. especially considering the reason.

dazai throws his hands up in surrender with a wicked smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes — although, dazai’s smiles almost never did. you’re unamused and frankly tired, so your own mask had cracks in it. dazai, ever the observant, immediately drops the cheery facade and mumbles something under his breath.

something along the lines of, “that damn slug, ruining everything by running late…” you choose to ignore the cryptic way dazai says that and instead waved.

“tell everyone i said to have a good night.”

and with that you left. not even giving dazai a chance to respond as you had already turned to leave mid sentence.

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽

that’s how you find yourself here, sitting at the edge of the pier, knees tucked snugly into your chest as you lay your cheek on them to look up at the sky. your mind was a storm of noise but luckily the fireworks were louder. that didn’t stop you from feeling a very prominent presence approaching.

you tense, instantly recognizing his presence. it takes every ounce of self control you have to keep your head in place and not look his way. your arms tighten around your legs and it’s the only indication you give him that you’re aware he’s there. you can feel his stare, his eyes bore into the back of your head, it felt as if he continued to stare he would start to make a dent in your skull.

still, you continue to look forward and ignore his presence. the noise from the fireworks may be deafening but you’re so honed in on the redhead behind you his defeated sigh is hard to miss. he tentatively shuffles his way next to you and remains standing. you vaguely notice from your peripheral, that he isn’t in his usual dark clothing. instead you note flashes of red, gold and white. your eyebrows furrow. was he wearing a haori? which means he must be wearing a montsuki haori hakama? he never wore traditional clothing. you were itching to look over at how gorgeous he must look but resist the urge yet again.

you continue to refuse to acknowledge his presence.

another sigh.

more silence on your end.

this time he clicks his tongue, but it’s more in defeat rather than annoyance. “that damn mackerel texted me. told me he couldn’t do the one simple task i asked of him. last time i ask him for anything…” the last part of his sentence broke on into a grumble, obviously thinking out loud more than talking to you.

there’s still no verbal response from you, although your face does twist into a scowl. so that’s what dazai meant earlier. chuuya was supposed to meet you all at the festival. to what? surprise you? you didn’t want to wait for a surprise. he knew how much you loathed surprises. you just wanted him back. you wanted to confirm for yourself that he was safe.

the port mafia executive is observing you. he watches as shadows of colors provided by the fireworks dance across your face, causing you to look 10x more strikingly beautiful than you already do. you’re quite literally the most stunning thing chuuya has ever laid his eyes on. he wants to tell you so. he wants to gush over how much he missed you. he wants to hold you. but he needs you to acknowledge him first and he knows you have an opinion about meursault that you deserve to voice. the problem lies in getting you to open yourself up. next to being the most stunning, you’re also the most stubborn person he has ever met. he has his work cut out for him.

“i was gonna surprise you at the festival…” of course he was, you almost scoff at the predictability of it all.

another sigh escapes chuuya’s lips when once again he doesn’t get a response. he knows he shouldn’t poke at you. but at this point he doesn’t know how else he could elicit a reaction. he ponders on it for a moment, nervously gnawing at his bottom lip. this could get you to open up but it could also make you more upset. he makes his decision and takes in a deep breath.

“i wanted to surprise you. i thought about you a lot while i was gone. the thought of coming back to you was about the only thing that kept me sane while having to deal with that damn dazai.” his last words come out bitter, as if he truly had been suffering.

you try to keep face. gritting your teeth and sinking your nails into the palm of your hands. but the cracks in your mask were already too far gone, it snaps completely off. your head swiftly lifts and turns to finally look at him.

and god how unfair. it’s so incredibly unfair how handsome he sincerely looks. his face isn’t covered by his hat and hair is tied by an ornamental string. the reds and greens and golds of his outfit really bring out the duel colors of his eyes. even frowning like he is, he is still a shining star in a sky full of clouds.

you have to remind yourself to keep your resolve as you scowl at the redhead. unbeknownst to you, chuuya is having a very similar crisis. you look like the most priceless treasure on this god forsaken planet. the gold hair ornament you wear frames your face perfectly. the colors of your traditional wear compliments your skin tone perfectly. even your makeup, which subtly matches your outfit, is perfect. you are perfect.

your sour expression is what brings him back to reality.

you let out an appalled scoff. “you thought of me? i find that hard to believe considering you made the decision to go along with dazai’s plan without warning. do you know how messed up i was? thinking you could be dead upon hearing you had been turned into a vampire. i thought i was never going to see you again because you didn’t tell me- i didn’t know. and then when you do return i don’t hear a single thing from you? not even a text saying ‘hey, shit is crazy at the port mafia but i will see you as soon as i can. just wanted to let you know i was safe.’ i would have been happy with that, chuuya.”

he flinches at how harsh his name sounds coming from your mouth. like you had to physically force it out. you never called him by his name. it was always a pet name of some sort. it was truly heart wrenching that he had pushed you to this point. it was never his intention. with everything going on he didn’t realize that maybe he should have communicated dazai’s plan with you, but he can’t change that now. what he needs to focus on is fixing his mistake. so, he listens to you and let’s you get it all out.

“...instead you continued to leave me in the dark. i had to continue on like i wasn’t a wreck, not knowing where you were. do you know how many times i imagined you were just dead somewhere in a foreign prison? too many times to count on my hands. dazai-” you choke, not having realized that you had started to cry. you swallow thickly and continue. “dazai had to constantly be on watch because i would lose control of my ability over the smallest of things. despite being exhausted, i refused to bring myself to imagine a world without you in it. no matter how much i was spiraling, it jus wasn’t something i could bear the thought of because-”

you’re cut off again, this time by a sob that you can feel throughout your entire body. you choke again, feeling like you can’t breathe. your eyes unfocus, your hearing goes fuzzy and your limbs begin to feel numb and tingly. in your panicked haze you briefly note that you’re reaching out and latch onto some sort of soft material. the colors igniting the night sky become overwhelming so you squeeze your eyes shut. you wish you could drown out the booming noises created by the fireworks. it’s all too much, it’s been too much. your ears are ringing and your hands are trembling. the emotions swirling inside of you begging to be let out but you hold them in, not wanting chuuya to be affected. you’re nauseous, you feel as though you could throw up at any moment.

chuuya knew you got like this, he’s heard dazai recount the times this ability has caused you to overwhelm yourself and initiate a panic attack. your grip on his haori was unexpected until he saw the sheer trepidation swimming in your glistening eyes. his body reacts before his mind can and he’s scooping you into his arms. chuuya softly cradles your head, gently resting your forehead against the side of his chest where his heart lays. he’d seen somewhere that the sound of a heartbeat could calm this sort of episode. he also coos and and speaks soft words of reassurance.

it’s absurd how calming just his presence is to you, even when you’re this irate with him. you need to regulate your breathing. fast. the ringing in your ears has subsided and the thrumming of chuuya’s heart pulls you in. hyper focusing on his heartbeat helps calm you further and your breathing slows back to normal. your face is still buried in his chest and your hands are fisting his kimono. your grip loosens, signaling that you’re better. but you burrow your face further into the gravity manipulator's chest. he lets out a deep chuckle that sends vibrations through your entire head. it helps clear the fog that has built up in your head.

you utter those three words you’d been holding in since before he left. it’s like you had finally broken the dam within your heart and this was the result. now that the water has settled you have one last thing to do. but because you were so close to his chest the words came out muffled and unintelligible.

“my pretty doll, i can’t understand you when your face is covered like that. c’mere…” chuuya lets out another chuckle as you whine and pout dramatically when he peels you off of him. your face is puffy and eyes rimmed red. somehow your makeup managed to stay completely intact, you’ll have to remember to ask naomi what she used.

you huff and try to look away but he gently, yet firmly, takes hold of your face to gingerly wipe away at your tears. once he’s pleased with his work his eyes meet yours and he smiles softly. “now, what was it you were trying to say? i think i should be able to here you clearly this time.”

and something about the way he says that makes you think he actually heard it the first time and just simply wanted to hear you say it again. you turn your nose up at him and eye him suspiciously. “no. i don’t think i will…”

chuuya sighs incredulously and lets go of your face. he slumps down and rests his forehead on your shoulder. instinctively you raise your hand and sift your fingers through his wavy tresses. his hair is always surprisingly soft. you can help but to smile amusedly at his obvious defeat. you look back up to the fireworks that were still going. they must be nearing the finale because the amount of colors dancing in the sky have multiplied.

“stubborn as hell like always. i shouldn’t be surprised.” chuuya lifts his head back up and cups your cheek to turn you back to look at him. “you technically said it first, but i’ll let you hear it first. i love you.”

your lips part to respond but you find yourself mesmerized by the chuuya’s eyes. the reflection of colors swirling in his irises make it look like an actual fire has been ignited underneath them. your bottom lip begins to tremble as you feel yourself become overwhelmed by the feelings his words elicit. this time it was in the best way possible but it still made you embarrassed. you take in a shuddered breath and pout more. “god damn you, chuuya nakahara.”

with that utterance, you lean in and your lips meet his. you pour everything you have into that one kiss, hoping it explains your feelings better than any words you could ever string together would. luckily for you, chuuya has always been a firm believer of actions speak louder than words. he understands what you’re trying to convey and he reciprocates by grasping the back of your head and tilting his to deepen the kiss.

it felt as if you were falling into an abyss that consisted of only chuuya. your brain was simultaneously working in overdrive and malfunctioning all at once. the only thing in your head was chuuya.

it was only chuuya:

chuuya’s velvety hair

chuuya’s blazing warmth

chuuya’s soft lips

chuuya’s heavenly scent

chuuya’s gentle touches

chuuya.

then he chuckles against your lips and, god, you could just melt.

much to your dismay, chuuya goes and ruins it by leaning back and disconnecting your lips. you make a noise of protest but he keeps you firmly where you are. your eyes are lidded and breathing is heavy. he could sense how overwhelmed you were once again becoming. he gives you a few moments to fully cone back to him before speaking again.

you open your mouth to say it again but he interrupts. “you don’t have to, i understood you the first time.”

your mouth slowly shuts and you lean your head back on his chest, ear pressed against his beating heart. you both look up, hoping to enjoy the rest of the fireworks together.

“i’m still upset and this conversation isn’t over, but…” you trail off as the finale begins. after another moment you continue as you watched the colors multiply once again. “let’s just enjoy this. i missed you.”

his grip around you tightens. you look over to him and he’s smiling brightly at you. “i missed you, so damn much. we can go back to my place after this and talk over a bottle. how’s that sound?”

you look back to the sky with a smile playing on your lips. “sounds like heaven.”

#chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya x you #bsd x you #chuuya x fem!reader #fem!reader #᯽. éli originals

[rookiesbookies]

Hi i love the empress and male!concubines idea with the COD boys, I def think that it'll be interesting to see more hcs for this idea/au?

Alright my little anon. Truthfully I should have given more details in the og post (it also started as a rant about how I couldn’t handle a poly relationship because of my anxiety (I also saw a post about a girl who had 4 partners and didn’t get any attention and it made me sad so that's also way).) I have been stewing on this idea though so here’s some hc. Might do more if people are still interested in it or want more, I do love talking about my AUs (like this one and the Greek god one, so let me know if you want me to go more bc stuff like this rattles around my brain)

Also apparently there is a term for a male concubine and they’re called concubinatus or a concubinus. Honestly I took Latin and the fact I didn’t expect this lowkey brings me pain.

General HC?

The first empress in a long time. And the first empress to like her concubinuses (hope that's right) more than the idea of marrying for an emperor. So the council decided to bring you only the best warriors to keep. They of course still must serve occasionally but they have been elevated in status to there is lower risk anything will happen. Mostly kept as tacticians or kept to train the new boys joining the country’s military.

Konig and Krueger were taken as trophies of war for the Empress. They were two of the largest, smartest, and strongest men from the battlefield.

When the two were adjusting, it was difficult. The empress was gracious with them, mentioning how she wouldn’t dare make them do anything, apologizing for the war and the loss. Truthfully trying to get them comfortable, and the two were honestly shocked but I’ll get into that more in their sections.

Keegan was sent as a gift by a neighboring nation looking for peace and protection. He had a good time adjusting, sometimes making comments about how this treatment is too good for nasty military dogs like all of them but I’ll touch on that more later.

Price

Price was probably the first concubinus. He had been a strong warrior and was deemed by the council to be a good fit for what they were hoping for. He also, however, did not intend to retire from his position so they had to find an alternate reason to stop him from getting in trouble.

For him it was awkward. His empress was a bit younger than him, however he did crave to be a father. While the empress didn’t intend to fall pregnant yet, he would be on his best behavior when the opportunity came.

The chance to be the father of the next royal was something he couldn’t miss.

Soap

Both him and Gaz were best in their class, breaking records, so it only made sense it seems to send them to the empress once they got their prime years out of them.

He was probably the last concubinus to come in before the gift and the trophies of war. He has the more vicious puppy eyes. He waits for you like a dog every time you leave and enter. Always talks about how much more comfortable your bed is and how nice it is to lay with you. Definitely sweet talks you even though he’s already a concubinus.

Will literally do anything you say and it’s partially because he thinks he will get sent back to the military full time if he doesn’t.

Ghost

Definitely does checks on all the palace guards to make sure they’re up to spec. If even one slacks he uses his power to make them run.

This is all because of how gracious the empress has been with him. When he had a fit of ptsd (i'm thinking anxiety attack or something) she invited him into her room and away from the others so he didn’t feel embarrassed and comforted him as best she could before making him some tea. With an empire that stretches across Europe he was impressed she had the time to stop and care about a random concubinus.

Definitely was surprised he told you as much as he did and how you listened and comforted him. Telling him you’d never make him do anything he wasn’t comfortable with was something he appreciated.

Gaz

See the first paragraph of Soap’s bc Im not copying it again.

Since I feel like Gaz is the older of the two (he seems to have a maturity I dont see as much in Soap idk?) He was sent to her first of the two for his ‘semi-retirement’. Now they just need them to occasionally train incoming recruits.

He definitely enjoyed adjusting to the cushy life of the castle. He liked being able to keep his weapons since he did double as a personal guard for the empress. But he likes that he and the other concubinus get a hot tub more, definitely likes all the fancy clothes.

His job is the have sex with his sexy empress, what’s not to love?

Konig

Truthfully, when he was being cocky toward the other concubinus and you pulled him away into a separate room to tell him you knew he was compensating for his anxiety, he was more than shocked. He was stunned into silence.

So when you reached your hands under his hood and rubbed his cheeks, telling him it was ok and he didn’t need to act out, he melted. He had never truly been shown such softness, so to be shown it by the empress of the enemy? He was so conflicted. With a pat on his chest you told him he could take on his position fully when he was more comfortable and that you were concerned for him and there if he needed to talk. He was still quiet.

Krueger

Was not interested. No matter how many compliments you gave him or gifts you sent, he wouldn’t budge. He was grumpy and hostile. So much so he made the other concubinus nervous especially for you.

It wasn’t until you pulled him into your room that night that he relaxed quite a bit under your soft hands and apologies. Massaging his tired muscles, and lulling him into a sense of security. Now he understood how Konig folded so easily.

He offered to return the favor but you told him not until he was more comfortable and made him promise to play nice. He agreed but only to be a bit nicer.

Keegan

He honestly believes this treatment is too good for all of them. They were dogs of war, animals trained to kill, and now they’re dressed in fancy clothes? With an empress who dotes on them when they should be doting on her? Truthfully he baffles him. He isn’t ungrateful, he just didn’t expect to become a concubinus when sent here. He expected a joint military operation or to be a representative. He hit it off quickly with the group from the empire’s military.

The two from the war keep to themselves and the shorter one threatened to bite him.

Often feels the most out of place because he is the only one from his area, but he doesn’t complain. He gets nice gifts and is invited into your room pretty often, so he appreciates every moment. He wonders if it would be proper or allowed for him to get you gifts?

I was surprising more eager to write this ask than I thought. Let me know if yall want me to do formal parts to this? Maybe an actual fic for this au?

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

#cod x reader #call of duty #captain price #konig x reader #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price x reader #kyle gaz x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #soap mactavish #keegan russ x reader #keegan p russ #sebastian krueger x reader #cod krueger #simon riley #simon riley x you

[socksandbuttons]

Swap AU Stuff

Alright let's jsut try getting down basics maybe

Also this maybe long actually.

The obvious Swaps Lunar and Eclipse: Basically how we meet them in episode. I legit went along with thinking this Eclipse wasn't memory wiped the whole time so thats kinda- in the air a bit. But Lunar being the original body (I have a post showing how Eclipse looked then), Eclipse with the one he made (to be taller. He can't stand being small... Well shorter than anyone really. A shame he has Bloodmoon towering over him.) The Glamrocks: They are as Swapped so Chica is Freddy, Freddy is Roxy, Roxy is Monty and Monty is Chica (I love them immediately after giving them luscious hair im sorry). Rox and Sun are friends and he's quite protective of Sun, also a cowboy cause swap au/Foxy etc. Digi in the discord came up with this and i died cause it was so good actually. Eclipse and Lunar still go thru the whole October Arc with Moon and Sun. Moon being far more quiet but aggressive. Made Sun to hinder Eclipse. Let me paste my lil paragraph i had in discord

"Sun likely has more denial about moons treatment of him, however like lunar he does start questioning if its good for moon to get the star (like sort of getting the Moon Wont Stop so i need to do something he might hurt himself etc) plus lunar and eclipses treatment of sun would be a huge factor too, eclipse obviously is terrible at communcating and while he's a bit of a jerk, realizing sun might be in danger or hurt is something he might catch on faster. maybe. im thinking anyway sun catches attachment to both that outweighs his denial of moon being terrible actually. he's still grasping at things even well after. doesnt realize he gets awful panic attacks until someone points it out actually. and then i lost my train of thought but moon still loved sun just…. very clearly was not the forefront of his goals tho. feels very betrayed by sun after and likely wont fogrive sun. vs sun whos too willing to forgive despite his anxiety screaming at him NOT TO. i just wanna show a different thing to this cause lunar recognized halfway into october and let moon handle the rest and recognizes that eclipse was hurting him much sooner than sun wouldve (see the… current sun. og sun recognizes now but it truly took him a WHILE, communication Real now.)" Anyway, Sun does end up getting adopted by both Eclipse and Lunar. He's never gonna be taller than Eclipse. But as mentioned he's got a lot of things to work through about Moon (Roxy will kick so much ass for him.) Generally trying to grasp that yeah no it was pretty fucked up of Moon to do anything to Sun. Now the timeline gets a lil weird beyond this because like KC would've also been in this plot. KC unlike our Bloodmoon, is actually far smarter (Im sorry to bm fans), he DOES work with Sun but generally more for his benefit of getting rid of Moon. He doesn't really need to be bribed for this actually. Imagine KC being so pissed about Moon showing up in his systems and hes LIKE WTF MAN. Zappity Zap Zap Double Dee Moon Anyway Cue Bloodmoon arriving. And like bloodmoon does- He does technically hold Eclipse hostage but gets bored. So there is mild agreement. Bloodmoon does what KC did and FORCED themself out (like our OG boy!). They're uh... theyre not very keen on sticking around a daycare as fun as itd be to tear it up. They like lightly bully Sun but Roxy to the rescueee. Anyway, 'Does KC die in this au?' No he doesnt. He gets CLOSE to it but Bloodmoon just goes 'Hmn. nah son you're coming with me'. Lunar still feels incredibly bad about it though. Space arriving sooner actually more or less helps like avoid some certain issues here and there. Unlike Earth where she arrives much later (due to be literally distracted.) Space goes directly to the daycare. Thus kinda- changing some bits. He does meet Bloodmoon, hates him though. 'Why aren't you thinking this through' 'We wanna see how much they scream' 'You'll be electrocuting yourself before you get the chance' '...That means Eclipse gets electrocuted?' 'Put down. the fork.' KC handles Bloodmoon with much exasperation. Bloodmoon picked up this sucker and went 'our Spawn'. Baffles KC. Space ends up meeting Crater, Moon got annoyed with Space's presence being literally really hard to work around. Sends Crater, Crater and Space get along well enough that it wasn't Moon intention but this works too. Space (theres irony here) gets concerned with Crater and her not viewing herself with autonomy. She is still just a 'basic AI' as she puts it. Does what she's told. Bloodmoon doesn't really use her just kinda shoo's her off to Space or Eclipse. 'No you're no fun-' 'I have told to monitor you' 'WE DIDNT ASK MOON FOR A BABYSITTER' 'I am programmed to defend' 'We dont need defending either' 'You are still vunerable' '...Go away' 'Affirmative. Destination please?' 'DAYCARE'

Anyway How do i sum this up. Roxy and Sun are besties Lunar and Sun vibe. Eclipse is soft with Sun.

Bloodmoon has claimed ONE child. Doesn't really claim Moon but thats a later thing. Moon and KC despise one another.

KC didn't really want this fatherly figure but he begrudgingly accept them. Funny things happen with these three. Bloodmoon doesn't become pacifist, just more or less moves away dragging KC with them. A little bitter at Lunar's murder attempt but its fine. No one died there but heavily maimed.

Eclipse and Moon still ultimately hate one another. There is a Swap version of Solar thats Moon and- we'll get confused so just know its out there. Space and Crater are good friends and partly why both end up questioning their existence but both support pillars to one another that it just kinda isn't as devastating. Unless someone dies. Crater does end up having her own personhood, Moon does get attached to her even if he doesnt admit it. Space doesn't question creator enough but Crater does and vice versa. Bloodmoon(s) does have a name but ill reveal that later??? idk

#sun and moon show #tsams au #sams swap au #myart #swap crater #swap space #sams sun #sams lunar #sams eclipse #sams moon #swap roxy

[chvoswxtch]

Okay so babe you know I am OBSESSED with your writing. I literally worship you & your work. 😂 but anywho, can I make request? 👀 I suffer from high functioning anxiety & it leads to god awful panic attacks. Something that calms me down & brings out of my manic states is the strong arms & sweet words of my man. Is there anyway you can make that Frank? I feel like you absolutely can BUT you’re the writing goddess here so it’s up to you. 🫶🏼

pls I am OBSESSED with you. <3

as someone who also deals with high functioning anxiety & panic attacks, this was really comforting & cathartic to write, so thank you so much for requesting it. I appreciate you so much, & I hope today is a good day. ❤️

warning: swearing, brief mentions of alcohol, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks word count: 2.2k

we get through it together.

Frank could tell something was wrong by the look in your eyes. Throughout the course of your relationship, he had easily learned how to read you, and your eyes always gave you away. 

They would widen and twinkle beneath the lights when you were excited about something. They became downcast and glistened with melancholia when you were upset. When they were enraptured with lust, your pupils nearly overtook the ring of your irises. And when you were scared, they nearly doubled in size and darted around frantically.

Just like they were right now.

Frank caught the way you kept clenching your fist tightly under the table. The blood beneath the taut skin of your knuckles kept disappearing and returning, like a wave constantly saying hello and bidding farewell to the shore.

Clench, release. Clench, release. Clench, release.

Your lips parted slightly as you quietly tried to suck in deep breaths, letting them out through heavy exhales so that your chest and shoulders didn’t shake violently. He could already see the glimmer of alarm in your eyes, and he swiftly jumped into action. 

Setting his beer down carefully on the table, Frank stood from his chair and placed his lower hand on your back gently, applying the slightest pressure to capture your attention.

“Hey sweetheart, think I left somethin’ in the truck. Mind comin’ out to help me find it?”

Frank wrapped his arm tightly around your waist when you quickly nodded and stood up, pulling you protectively into his side as he flashed your friends a quick smile and nodded his head towards the exit.

“Be back in a minute.”

The second that you stepped outside, Frank led you around the back of the bar towards the secluded alley, and his heart broke at the sound of your panicked sobs that were caught in your throat by the jagged gulps of air you attempted to swallow. He instantly pulled you into his chest and wrapped his arms as tight around you as he could without hurting you. Frank shushed you quietly as he slipped one of his large hands beneath your shirt, allowing you to feel the warmth of his skin as he rubbed soothing circles on your lower back, applying the slightest bit of pressure to keep you flush against his chest.

“Hey hey hey, easy. S’alright, sweetheart. You’re alright. I gotcha, I promise. Just listen to my voice, yeah? Want you to breathe and count with me. Can you do that for me, baby?”

Sometimes you had a bit of a warning when it came to your panic attacks. Sometimes you knew exactly what was causing them, and you could feel them building in the pit of your stomach. They were always so much easier to manage when you knew they were coming.

But sometimes they were like this. 

They came out of nowhere while you were in the middle of having a good night with your friends and your boyfriend, and they knocked the air straight out of your lungs while simultaneously filling your bloodstream with pure adrenaline and terror.

The first time you had a panic attack in front of Frank, he didn’t know what to do other than hold you and tell you over and over that he was there. When you were finally able to regain control of your breathing, you were shocked at just how much it helped you calm down. You weren’t sure if it was the comforting weight of his strong arms, the velvet bass of his soothing voice, or a perfect combination of the two, but you knew that Frank helped. You taught him some of the breathing exercises that were taught to you, and Frank even did his own research on methods and techniques that would help soothe you. 

If the two of you were out somewhere when one hit, Frank did his best to not draw too much attention to the two of you, knowing that it would only send you spiraling even further. He always got you somewhere quiet and secluded as quickly as possible, allowing you to take as much time as you needed to relax and feel safe again, while doing his best to help you get there.

Frank cradled the back of your head while he held you close, gently pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead, and continued to rub soothing circles on the bare skin of your back as he spoke quietly into your ear.

“Want you to take a nice, big breath with me, honey. In for eleven, hold for seven, and out for eleven, just like we practiced. Can you do that with me, baby? C’mon, big deep breath.”

Frank inhaled a deep breath for eleven seconds through his mouth, held it in his chest for seven seconds, and then exhaled through his nose slowly for eleven seconds. He could feel that you were trying to copy his movements by the way you wiggled in his arms, but it always took you a few tries to reach the full count with him. 

“Attagirl. That’s perfect, baby. You’re doin’ so good. Let’s do it again. Can you do it with me again, sweetheart?”

Frank lightly swayed from left to right with you in his arms, repeating the count with you while he held you close. He closed his eyes tightly hearing your little whimpers and sobs. It always tore him up inside to see you struggle like this. Even though he knew how to help you now, and he’d had lots of practice soothing you back into a calmer state, he always felt helpless that he couldn’t protect you from these. Frank hated seeing you so scared and upset, and no matter how many times he told you that it wasn’t your fault and reminded you that it was completely out of control, you always sobbed into his chest about how sorry you were when they happened. 

“Doin’ so good, honey. Makin’ me so proud. Can you do it again for me? Just one more time, baby.”

Frank’s lips pulled into the faintest of smiles when you reached the full count with him, pressing another soft kiss to your forehead as he gave your body a gentle squeeze.

“There ya go, that’s my girl. Now just breathe, honey. Listen to my heart, see if you can match yours to mine. Can you try for me, baby?”

Frank rested his chin on top of your head as he held you there, lightly stroking his fingertips up and down your back in invisible patterns as he slowly felt you start to relax in his hold. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the steady pace of your chest expanding and shrinking against his own as your anxious sobs faded into quiet, sporadic little sniffles. 

“How you feelin’ shortcake?”

A faint sniffle and an incoherent noise was muffled by his shirt, and Frank couldn’t help but smile to himself as he gave your waist a gentle squeeze.

“That good, huh? Maybe you should start spendin’ Thursday afternoons with me instead of that Ivy League asshole. Wouldn’t charge you as much, that’s for damn sure. I can even wear one of them sweater things, talk all fancy and shit if it helps.”

Your shoulders suddenly bounced with laughter as you pulled back slightly to look up at Frank with quizzically perched brows.

“Sweater things?”

“Yeah, with the buttons and pockets, ya’know? You got ‘em in damn near every fuckin’ color.”

“Are you talking about a cardigan?”

“Whatever the fuck it’s called.”

Erupting into a fit of giggles, you stared up at Frank inquisitively as you cocked your head to the side.

“Frank…you know my therapist is a woman, right?”

Frank’s lips pulled into a grin as he cradled your face in one of his large hands, wiping the damp tear tracks from your cheeks as he gave a nod of his head.

“I know, baby. Just wanted to make ya laugh. And I know she ain’t an asshole, or robbin’ ya blind.”

“She does wear cute cardigans though.”

“I fuckin’ knew it.”

Another loud giggle slipped from your mouth as you leaned your forehead against Frank’s chest, taking in a deep breath before letting it out slowly through your nose. Frank tucked your hair behind your ears gently, staring down at you in concern as he tilted his head to the side.

“This one hit fast.”

Letting out another deep exhale, you tilted your head back to stare up at him with an apologetic smile as you nodded your head slowly.

“Yeah. I’m-”

“Hey, s’alright. We got through it, yeah? You ain’t got nothin’ to apologize for, baby. It ain’t your fault.”

“I know…I just…wish they didn’t happen.”

“I know, honey. I wish I could take ‘em from ya. I would if I could, sweetheart. There’s nothin’ I wish I could do more than protect you from everything, even your own head. But you’re doin’ great, baby. You’re doin’ so well and I’m so goddamn proud of you, no matter what. And I’m here to help you through it, whatever happens. Alright?”

Your eyes glossed over with fresh tears as you stared up at Frank, quickly wrapping your arms around his middle as you buried your face into his chest and clung to him tightly.

“I love you so much, Frankie.”

“I love you so much, shortcake. Nothin’ I wouldn’t do for you.”

“You do so much already. I just…thank you.”

“For what, baby?”

Frank slipped his index finger under your jaw to gently tilt your head back, lightly grasping your chin with his thumb as he searched your eyes.

“Being so patient with me. I know all of this is…a lot, and definitely not what you signed up for-”

“Not what I signed-baby, if anyone got more than they fuckin’ bargained for, it’s you. I don’t hear you complainin’.” 

Sinking your top teeth into your bottom lip, you gazed up at Frank with an abashed expression, and he sighed softly as he leaned in to nudge his nose against yours.

“You ever make me feel bad ‘bout havin’ nightmares? Or shuttin’ down and shuttin’ you out when shit gets too much?”

“No, but I-”

“No. No, you don’t. You just help me through it. We get through it together. You don’t get frustrated, you don’t quit on me, and you don’t leave. We get through it, together. Yeah?”

Letting out a shaky breath, you nod your head slowly as you grip onto Frank’s back.

“Tell me. Let me hear you say it.”

“We get through it, together.”

“Goddamn right we do. Now, you wanna go back in, or you wanna go home?”

A soft sigh slipped past your lips as you looked up at Frank, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth as you held onto his bicep.

“Do you think they noticed we’ve been gone awhile?”

“Probably think we’re fuckin’.”

A sharp gasp flew past your lips as you stared up at Frank with your jaw hanging open, smacking at his chest while a grin threatened to take over your mouth.

“Francis!”

“Aw c’mon, you know I fuckin’ hate it when you call me by my government name.”

“Then don’t make me use it!”

“What? We been known to disappear a time or two. They don’t give a shit.”

Shaking your head incredulously, you pinched the bridge of your nose as you giggled softly.

“God, I can’t take you anywhere.”

“You can take me wherever the hell you want, sweetheart. Shit, even in this alley, right now. That make you feel better, hm?”

Your eyes widened as Frank suddenly backed you up against the wall with a playful smirk on his lips, and you shook your head quickly as his large hands grabbed onto your hips.

“Frank, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because! We’ve already been gone a long time-”

“So what’s a little longer, baby?”

Frank grinned as he leaned in to capture your lips in a deep kiss, snaking his arm around your waist to pull you in closer as you whined into his mouth.

“Frank, we’re in an alley. We’re in public.”

“Ain’t nobody gonna see you. I’m coverin’ you.”

“Frank.”

Letting out a dissatisfied grunt, Frank sighed dramatically as he stepped back and held his hands up in mock surrender.

“Fine, fine. Let’s go back in and listen to Dave finish his rivetin’ fuckin’ story ‘bout his California trip.”

“I thought you liked Dave?”

“I can’t fuckin’ stand Dave. He talks too goddamn much.”

A smirk curled at the edge of your mouth as you looked up at Frank.

“I know. I just think it’s funny watching your face every time he opens his mouth.”

Frank narrowed his eyes slightly as he looked at you, arching one of his dark brows in challenge. 

“That right?”

Biting down on your bottom lip, you tried to fight your grin hearing the way Frank’s voice deepened.

“We should go back in.”

“Nah, I think we should leave. Think you’re not feelin’ well, baby.”

“I’m not?”

“Not at all. Think you’d feel better if we went home.”

A playful smirk formed on your lips as you took a step closer to Frank, tilting your head to the side slightly as you shrugged your shoulders.

“I don’t know. I mean…you made me feel so much better, Frankie.”

“Sweetheart.”

“Yeah?”

“You can get your ass in the truck, or I can put your ass in the truck.”

tags: @day-dreaming-goddess @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @mattymurdock1021 @bubuslutty @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042

#frank castle #frank castle x you #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x reader #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle x f!reader #frank castle request #frank castle fic #the punisher #the punisher request #the punisher fic

[banquetwriter]

this might be too angsty 😭

but can you do one where the reader has chronic anxiety and is literally house bound most of the time because of how bad it gets and johnnie just helps them through it

୨୧ brittle breathes ୨୧

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ panic attacks, extreme anxiety 

summary: ʚ reader’s chronic anxiety binds them to their house but Johnnie is able to save them ɞ

Words: 1452

An: sorry it's taking me so long to write i can't help it lol 

Every day has felt the same to you. You wake up and immediately doom scroll on your phone. Your brain is hyper-fixating on every bad comment you receive. You eventually get off Twitter and turn on YouTube. The torment doesn't end there.

You turn on someone who has consistent uploads, better looking than you, and overall is just better at your job. You feel so sick. Constantly nausea, your hands and feet are freezing, and your brain seems like you mushed it into pieces. 

It had been weeks since you had last uploaded on your channel. It wasn't so bad at first. You felt less anxious at home so you just stayed in more. Unfortunately, it has its talons in you. You could never leave the house anymore.

You were sitting on the couch in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You hadn't gotten ready in weeks either, posting the occasional post on your Instagram story of something random. 

It wasn't like your fans hadn't noticed, hell everyone in your life had noticed. Your boyfriend Johnnie had asked what was going on with you lately, and he saw it. Of course, he saw it. The light in your eyes slowly dimmed. 

The way you wouldn't do anything anymore. Your interest didn't excite you anymore, you never ate anymore, and the most worrying thing was you'd stopped hanging out with him. 

He knew how hard anxiety could be on a person and how he wanted to help but he also knew how fragile people can be in this head space.

You had dried tears staining your cheeks as you scrolled through Twitter. You were looking at any tweet with your name involved in it. You were just a sad little lump on the couch. It was pathetic really. 

Your heart jumped as a notification went through that Johnnie started a live stream on Twitch. You had forgotten he was going to stream tonight. You clicked on it saying hi in chat. 

“Ahh fuck my settings are all messed up hold on guys,” Johnnie mumbled moving closer to his screen and clicking around. You giggle watching his fans say hi to you in chat. “Alright sorry guys,” he says, sitting up and looking at the chat. 

“Wait, is y/n in chat? A bunch of people are saying hi,” he says looking at the chat zoom bye. You smile to yourself already feeling calmer just by listening to his voice. “Yes, I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” you type in the chat. You watch him read the chat and smile to himself. 

He hides his blush by putting his hand over his mouth. The whole interaction made you giggle. He was the only thing that ever made you feel good anymore. You knew that wasn't healthy but you couldn't help it. You texted a black heart emoji to Johnnie.

You sat and watched the stream for a bit longer at some point while Johnnie stopped for a second to respond to your text. ‘Love you nerd’ he said with a heart emoji as well. He smiled down at his phone before realizing he was still streaming and had to keep them entertained. 

He came to a slow point in his stream so he looked over at his chat. “Why isn't y/n posting?” he asked, reading a fan’s words. Your heart skipped a beat. “Um, they are just having a hard time right now. They will be back soon though don't worry,” he answers, it was a true statement.

It just stung that your fans were reaching out to him about you. Johnnie would never make you feel guilty about this of course he understood, it's just you felt like such a burden on him because of this. 

You snapped back into reality, Johnnie had continued his stream and the chat slowly moved on from the topic. You had to do something about this. It was consuming your life.

You swiped away from Twitch and pulled up your messages with Johnnie. ‘Can you come over after the stream?’ you asked. If you were going to get out of this you were going to need help to do it. You had the stream pulled back up again. 

Johnnie was looking down at your phone. ‘I will get an Uber right now.’ was a text Johnnie sent you. You sat up reading the message on the top of your screen. “Hey guys I'm actually going to have to end stream early,” he said looking up from his phone.

You watched the chat as they started to freak out at the sudden end. Well, this wasn't how you wanted things to go. “Everything is ok. I just realized I have something to do.” he murmurs closing all the tabs on his computer going to full screen.

You turn the stream off, your heart pounding. Guilt flooding your veins. You stood up only worsening your dizzy state. You fumbled into the kitchen grabbing a glass of water. You failed, however.

You never made it to the sink. Your brain is racing and your mind is melting. A panic attack flows over your bones and into your soul. Your phone is lost somewhere you don't remember. 

Your breath in rapid paces as you can't make anything out. The lack of oxygen fuels your state. Tears start to pool out of your eyes, you start to sob. The crying mixed with the rapid breath causes you to lose all the air you had.

You can't breathe anymore. Any semblance of being able to return to normal is gone. You fall onto your hands and knees scratching at your throat in immense panic. You try to scream or kick or anything that can save you. 

You don't even hear when Johnnie uses the key you gave him to enter your home. Finding you thrashing on your kitchen floor, tears falling from your eyes. “Y/n?” he yells dropping to the floor with you. 

“What's wrong?” he yells trying to see your face. He manages to grab the side of your face and hold it up. “Can't… breathe,” you mumble, your face starting to lose color. 

“You're ok,” he says looking at you. He isn't able to say it with much conviction. His words betrayed his face as it flooded with worry. You try and fail to return your breathing to normal. Johnnie sees you struggle. 

“Try and follow mine,” he says, unsure of how to help you. You nod your head trying to listen to his breathing. It wasn't any use if you couldn't hear him properly. You hold your hand on his chest, you can feel his exhale and inhale. You could feel his lungs fill with air. 

You tried your best to mimic him. Closing your eyes eventually works. Eventually, you feel your worry melt away, like snow when the weather warms up. It leaves and melts from your body.

Your body relaxes and the tension falls. Johnnie watches as you slowly return back to normal. He brings his hand up to your face and holds you close. You lean into his touch. Your body is slouching.

He wraps his arms around you, holding your body up. “Johnnie?” you ask quietly. The tiredness ebs its way into your body. “Yeah? I'm here. I'm here.” he says slowly. “I need your help. Or someone's I'm not sure. I don't think I can trust anyone else with this.” you whispered to him.

“What's wrong? What can I do?” he asks, moving the hair that fell into your face away. “I have been rotted away by anxiety. I can't leave my house, I can't eat, I cannot do anything anymore. I haven't posted in god knows how long.” you cry standing up and away from him.

He sits up to watch you pace through your apartment. “I can't eat or sleep or talk to anyone without my entire world collapsing. Which isn't helping, it's just making me more anxious.” you cry, pulling at the sides of your face in frustration. 

“What can I do? How can I help you?” he asks while walking up to you. You stop your pacing, before abruptly pulling him into a hug. “I need to start seeing a therapist or something else, I need you to help me,” you whispered into his ear. 

He pulls away, only a little, to see your face. “We can do that for you. I'm sure it's going to get better if you start slowly, ok?” he whispers back. You smile at him sweetly. 

It was going to be hard but little by little you were going to take your life back. You were going to be able to do it with Johnnie. 

#jake and johnnie #johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert fluff #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie guilbert x you #johnnie x you #johnnie x reader #johnnie guilbert angst #johnnie

[demxters]

—LOVING YOU IS EASY

frat!jake seresin x f!reader

dagger squad college!au

summary: it's delta chi casino night and your doubts and insecurities find a way to ruin your perfect mood. good thing jake seresin is there to pull you from the depths of your mind.

wc: 2.9k

warning(s): 18+, fem!reader, no y/n (reader goes by nickname ace), descriptions of anxiety and a panic attack, self deprecating thoughts, a lil angsty but mostly fluff and feelings!!

part of the loving you universe || also find it on ao3 here

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊, 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!

You can’t pinpoint the exact moment you fell in love with him. It could’ve been that day when he chased after you in the pouring rain to give you a piece of his heart. It could’ve been when he stole the last bottle of Mountain Dew from Bradley because he knew how much you liked them. You can’t pinpoint the exact moment you fell in love with him, but you knew that the ever growing feeling you had for the man was love. 

When he broke through the walls you built around your heart, it didn’t take much for you to fall utterly and completely in love with him. Any defenses against him were useless because he somehow managed to wiggle his way through the barbed wire anyway. 

No matter how much you tried to deny it, you were weak for Jake Seresin. 

Your eyes flit around the room, taking in the slightly tipsy college students that sat around makeshift poker tables. It was Casino Night and Delta Chi was hosting the event. Everyone in attendance was dressed to the nines. Boys in their nicest button ups and slacks, girls in their best evening dresses, and the rest in the most dapper outfits they had. Most of the people in the room were from other fraternities and sororities making the only people you really knew to be your boyfriend, his friends, and yours. 

God, you got butterflies just from thinking of the word. Boyfriend. Jake Seresin was your boyfriend. You weren’t getting used to that any time soon. 

You hung off to the side, opting to be just a spectator for the night. Your friends clamored and booed just to poke fun, but they knew these things weren’t really your scene. You catch Jake’s eye from the other side of the room. The way his gaze softens when it meets yours sends a rush of overwhelming emotion through you. Your stomach erupts in a flurry of butterflies and your heart beat picks up its pace in your ribcage. Every time he looked at you felt like the first time he said I love you. 

He gives you a lopsided smile that accentuates the dimple on his left cheek. You wiggle your fingers at him in a small wave to which he cockily winks back in response. You playfully roll your eyes before his attention is stolen from you by one of his fraternity brothers. 

Leaning against the wall, you sigh, once again admiring your boyfriend from afar. 

“He’s so hot.”

The sudden company of a girl you recognized from Sigma Nu startles you. You turn to see who she’s looking at and of course, she’s eyeing none other than Jake Seresin. 

You hum in response, taking another sip from your cup. 

“I mean, seriously. A guy like that… I’m surprised no one’s staked their claim on him yet. Then again, Jake Seresin could have anyone he wants.” She pauses then looks at you with eager eyes. “Do you think I should go talk to him?” 

The elated state you found yourself in a moment earlier came crashing down, bringing you back to reality. She was right, Jake Seresin could have anyone he wants. 

How you were able to catch the attention of a guy like him was beyond you. The two of you came from two different ends of the spectrum. You were a bookish, studious, chronically sarcastic know it all while he was fun, charismatic, and quite literally the life of every party. 

This girl who was absolutely stunning and looked like a supermodel was asking you if she should talk to your boyfriend. You should’ve said no. You should’ve stood your ground, “staked your claim” as she had said and told her that Jake was taken. That he was yours. Instead a weak, “I don’t know,” tumbled from your lips and so did your resolve. 

The Sigma Nu girl fluffed up her hair and pulled up her top to accentuate her breasts before standing taller and giving you a sultry grin. “Wish me luck.” 

Your blood turns to ice, leaving your feet frozen to the floor. There’s a small voice in the back of your mind screaming at you to follow after her. To pull her back by her perfect hair and tell her to back off. Maybe that was a bit extreme, but you couldn’t help the unfamiliar feeling of jealousy that rushed over you. You and Jake have only been officially together for a few months, but hasn’t she seen the glances the two of you exchanged all night? Hasn’t she seen Jake lovingly wrapped around you at Delta Chi’s parties? Couldn’t she tell that Jake only had eyes for you? 

You trusted him. You trusted him with all your heart. You knew Jake would never entertain the thought of another girl and yet watching the Sigma Nu saunter up to your boyfriend with a lustful gleam in her eye and ill intentions, you were struck with the thought that even if he did entertain the idea of being with other girls you wouldn’t blame him. 

Seeing how easily she wormed her way perfectly between Jake and Javy and the rest of the group as she ever so charmingly striked up a conversation between their fraternity brothers made your stomach feel queasy. Jake didn’t spare her a second glance, even as she reached out to caress his arm. He moved away from her grasp and stepped to the side to create some space between them. The action should have filled you with relief. Instead, you felt like you were going to be sick. 

She looked so perfect interacting with everyone. Not a single thing about her was awkward or out of place. She fit right in with the group and looked so right next to Jake. She was the type of person you’d imagine Jake dating. Someone who could keep up with his charm and wit. Someone who was just as social and outgoing as he is. Someone who was everything you weren’t. So no, you wouldn’t blame Jake for ever entertaining the idea of being with someone else. Had you been in his shoes, you’d probably want someone else too. 

Someone who wasn’t so bland. Someone who didn’t get overwhelmed by crowds and easily sick from the taste of alcohol. Someone who could stay up and party all night. Someone who wouldn’t hold them back. 

It was foolish of you to think you could make Jake happy. Sooner or later he was going to wake up and realize he could find someone good, someone better. 

The room suddenly felt like a sauna, the air hot and heavy making it hard to breathe. Your vision blurred with tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. Everything around you sounded like it was underwater. It felt like you were too. Your limbs were too heavy to move. You felt like your lungs were going to burst from not inhaling any air. You hadn’t even noticed that Natasha and Bob were standing in front of you and leading you towards the double doors until the chill of the night air put out the fire on your cheeks. 

You gasp the moment you step foot outside, breaching the surface feeling like you could breathe again. 

“Breathe Ace.” 

You follow the voice like a siren call. Tapping your fingers against your thigh, you count every breath, remembering to take note of your surroundings and bring yourself back to the present. 

A moment passes before your breath goes back to normal and your vision is no longer clouded. You can see Nat in front of you with her hands on your shoulders and her forehead is crinkled in that way it gets when she’s worried. 

You wrap your arms around yourself as if finally realizing you were standing outside in the middle of the night without your jacket.  

Natasha gives you a second to recollect yourself and your thoughts, leading you by the hand to sit on the concrete steps of the meeting hall. The concrete feels like ice against your skin, sending another jolt of chills through your body. 

You begin counting again when you feel yourself drifting off. You get to forty five before Nat breaks the silence. 

“It’s been awhile since your last one of those, huh?” 

You swallow harshly. 

Bob comes back out with a bottle of water in his hand that he gently offers to you. You give him a weak smile and take it from him, haphazardly unscrewing the cap. It falls to the ground but you don’t have it in you to care as you take a large gulp of water. Bob takes a seat beside you with Nat on your other side. 

Even after drinking three fourths of the bottle, somehow your throat still feels dry. Your mind goes back to the reason why you were out here in the first place and you almost hurl onto the sidewalk. Images of Jake and that chick from Sigma Nu fill your brain and you can’t help but feel sick all over again. 

Bob gets up at the sight of your flushed skin. “I should go get Jake,” he stutters. 

“No!” You shoot up to your feet immediately, startling Nat and Bob. Clearing your throat, you state again,“No, don’t get Jake. Please.” 

Natasha and Bob eye each other warily before ultimately deciding to respect your wish. 

Nat nods, rubbing soothing circles onto the skin of your arm. “Okay, we won’t get him.” 

A loud thud from behind makes your heart jump. 

You turn to see Jake clamoring through the doors in a state of dishevelment. When his eyes land on your form, he lets out a sigh of relief. His shoulders fall and he hurries down the steps to get to you. 

You know what he’s gonna ask before the words even leave his lips. Facing your back to him, you wrap your arms around yourself and say, “I’m fine, Jake. You don’t have to worry.” 

“I’m always worrying about you, sweetheart,” he admits, settling on the steps beside you where Bob had once been. 

Natasha nods her head towards the double doors, beckoning Bob to follow and give you two a moment of privacy. She knew from the moment she saw you clam up in the meeting hall that it had to do with Jake and Miss Sigma Nu. The way your stare locked onto the two and didn’t break until her and Bob practically dragged you away was enough of a clue. She just hoped Jake hadn’t done anything stupid, otherwise he’d have to deal with her. 

Silence between you and Jake was never uncommon, however it was also never this unsettling. Jake knew the second you disappeared from his view that something was wrong. You never left without telling Jake or anyone else first. After asking everyone if they’d seen where you went, he was thankful that Reuben caught Bob and Natasha ushering you outside. 

Without a second thought, Jake was on autopilot, dropping everything to get to you. Not even the Sigma Nu who whined about where he was going mattered to him. All he could think about is you. 

Jake was wracking his brain for any reason for you to rush out like that. Has he indirectly done something to upset you? Did he forget something important? Were you sick and needed to go home?

You sniffle and wipe at your nose with the back of your hand before facing your back towards him once more. He knew it was something much worse. He hated seeing you cry. After making you cry as many times as he did before you got together, he swore to always be there to wipe them away and kiss you better. But he couldn’t even do that now as you purposely hide yourself away from him. 

“That’s the thing. You shouldn’t have to worry about me all the time. You shouldn’t have to constantly keep an eye on me or be conscious of the time because I hate staying up late. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your time out because I get too anxious in crowded rooms. You shouldn’t have…” Another sob climbs its way up your throat. “You shouldn’t have to deal with me.” 

Jake’s heart breaks at your confession and he’s desperate to understand where these thoughts are coming from. Just a moment earlier, you were smiling and laughing at his antics which is why your change in demeanor took him off guard. Despite wanting to beg you to tell him what was going on in that head of yours, he knew that you needed some time. He took your trembling hand in his, intertwining your fingers and softly stroking the skin of the back of your hand in the way he knew you loved. 

He bites his tongue and patiently waits for you to open back up to him. Tremors from the soft breeze continue to make your body shake so he pulls off his suit jacket and drapes it around your shoulders. 

You unconsciously snuggle into its warmth, breathing in the familiarity of Jake’s cologne before falling onto his shoulder and burying yourself into the crook of his neck. 

“You deserve to be with someone who isn’t dragging you down all the time,” you voice into the skin of his neck. 

Your words are muffled but he hears you all the same. “What? What’re you talking about?” 

You shake your head, sniffing once more. “It’s just… that Sigma Nu girl that approached you earlier? She was talking to me before that. Saying something about how you could have anyone you want and all that stuff. Then she went up to talk to you–” 

“And you didn’t stop her?” Jake asks with amusement and curiosity. 

“No, well, I tried but I couldn’t get the words out. You know?” 

Jake nods in agreement knowing exactly what you meant. “Then what happened?” He coaxes gently. 

“Then I saw her with you and Javy and everyone else. I think I understood what she meant then about you having anyone you want. She just looked so perfect with you all, like she belonged there and you looked so good together that I couldn’t help but think that maybe you deserved someone like that. Someone who isn’t a burden. Someone who fits into your world better.” 

He frowns, and holds you closer with his free arm. “You know I love you more than anything, right?” You remain silent so he repeats himself again. “Right?” 

You hum. 

“Then you should also know that you’re my world. You.” He pulls away for a moment to get a good look at your tear stained cheeks and wide eyes staring up at him. “I don’t care if she looked perfect or if she fit right in. I don’t care about any of that stuff. As for having anyone I want, I’ve already got the one I want right here. It’s you Ace. From the moment we met, it's always been you.” 

“But–” 

“You’re not dragging me down. Don’t you ever think that because you’re the one who’s keeping me afloat. I mean, seriously, I probably would’ve flunked out by now.” A dry laugh escapes him. 

You nudge him in the ribs. “Hey, what did we say about self talk?” 

He smiles down at you. “You see what I mean? You won’t even let me talk bad about myself so what makes you think I’ll let you get away with it?” 

“I’m sorry,” you squeak. You’re feeling better already, but you still aren’t completely convinced. 

“Don’t be sorry, just believe me will you?” Releasing his hold on your hand he tilts your chin upward so he can get a better look at you. “Loving you is not a burden. Loving you is…” He pauses for a moment, trying to find the perfect words to articulate how he feels about you. “Loving you is easy. I never thought I’d be one to fall in love but you made it so easy that I didn’t even realize I did until I almost ruined any chance I had with you.” 

“Jake…” Your eyes are welling with tears again. Not from sadness, but rather from the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness and love for the man in front of you. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” he gingerly cups your face in his hands, wiping at the tears on the apples of your cheeks. “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do. I love you, Ace.” 

Pressing forward, your lips land on his and he could taste the salt from your tears as they continue to fall but he doesn’t care. You try to pull away, but he chases your lips and brings you back to him. 

You giggle at his eagerness but push him back softly by the chest. You had to say what you’ve been dying to say all night. You were afraid you were going to burst any second now if you didn’t. “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do too, Jake. I love you.” 

The smile that graces his features is brighter than all the stars in the night sky as he rests his forehead against yours. 

“Easier than your statistics class?” He jokes. 

You press another kiss to his lips with a smile. “Even easier than that.” 

Learning to accept that you alone were enough and worthy of Jake’s love would take some time, but you knew with Jake by your side, he would make it all a little easier. 

a/n: a special ty to @natrace beta reading <3 ty for ur love and support

a/n2: if u made it this far, ty for reading!! i'm trying to get back into the groove of writing starting with my favorite pair of jake and ace. as always the inbox is always open and i hope you enjoyed this short but sweet installment of the loving you... universe

add yourself to my taglist!

tgm taglist: @joaquinwhorres @harrycherrylove @smoothdogsgirl @t-nd-rfoot @dempy @ollyoxenfrees @potato-girl99981 @averyhotchner @2guysonascooter @loveforaugust @blue-aconite @fandom-life-12 @stiles-banshees @iamdannyday @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @bradshawseresinbabe @breezemood @emorychase @eli2447 @angelbabyange @finelytaylored @pono-pura-vida @hecate-steps-on-me @blueoorchid

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #jake seresin x f!reader #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x y/n #hangman x you #hangman x y/n #hangman x f!reader #jake seresin oneshot #hangman oneshot #frat!jake seresin x reader #college!au #hangman x ace 📚 #loving you universe #demxters writing

[aspd-culture]

What’s the difference between remorse and shame?

So remorse is inherent to having had done something wrong. While getting caught/the risk thereof, if someone got hurt emotionally or otherwise, the potential for social consequences, etc can *add* to that remorse, none of that is what causes it. Instead it is a societally built instinct that becomes an uncontrollable part of brain development quite early in life, though as we see in pwASPD it can be removed entirely or diluted by circumstances that make it useless, dangerous, or otherwise cause a child to believe other people don't feel that way. That instinct defines a bad and good and if you do something bad you feel this itch to make it up to anyone involved, to tell people what you did, to try and get forgiveness and atone for whatever it is you did, and even after all of that there will still be that feeling of remorse. It is this thing in the pit of your stomach nagging you about what you did wrong - not because of any effect it may have on you, and it occurs even if there is 0 chance it will affect you in any way - and not letting you forget about it.

Shame is a different social response, and in typical development, comes from perceived risk of social consequences (if people found out they'd hate me, so I must be bad and I shouldn't have done it) and a hit to self-esteem/self-worth on the basis that they did whatever they did. It can also come from PTSD as a trauma response, or OCD. As a trauma response, doing something that may have caused a valued adult or caregiver or even a friend that was taking a somewhat caregiving role for you will cause this shame as you risk falling out of favor with someone who is safe. You don't want them to see you in a negative light because their opinion of you directly affects how you feel about yourself. As an OCD obsession it can come from being either labelled as bad as a child and your brain taking that in and becoming extremely paranoid about good vs evil and which side you stand on, or for someone who is kind and caring and "good" by social standards and values that, as an attack on something you value most - as that is what OCD does by definition. Shame is a part of the anxiety needed to keep humans in packs back when we were surviving in small groups in the "wild" rather than in established towns/cities/civilization of any sort. If a human were to be cut off from the pack due to distaste towards them, it would be the end of them almost certainly. Humans were weaker to the elements, starvation, dehydration, and predators at the time, so you needed the protection that came in numbers both for the ability to keep food/water/shelter around and for the fact that animals were less likely to attack a group of humans than a single one. It was literally life or death if people liked you enough to keep you around, and so there is a very strong response built into humans' brains to keep social favor towards them - that's what we call shame.

So shame has something to do with how you view yourself or how others view you (and the potential consequences thereof), while remorse is an instinct that does not care about consequences, whether anyone knows, your opinion of yourself, etc. Remorse just is because of the fact that you did the thing. It's considered disingenuous to apologize or attempt to make amends exclusively on shame, and remorse is a large part of the social dance expected when someone knows you did something wrong. In fact, perceived remorse is a large part of court proceedings and legal decisions such as parole/probation vs jail time, length of sentence, etc. "You should be ashamed of yourself" is a bit of a misnomer, because really what they want is for you to feel an instinctual suffering as a result of having had done something wrong.

I hope this made sense; as always anyone is welcome to send in another ask for clarification if it didn't.

Plain text below the cut:

So remorse is inherent to having had done something wrong. While getting caught/the risk thereof, if someone got hurt emotionally or otherwise, the potential for social consequences, etc can *add* to that remorse, none of that is what causes it. Instead it is a societally built instinct that becomes an uncontrollable part of brain development quite early in life, though as we see in pwASPD it can be removed entirely or diluted by circumstances that make it useless, dangerous, or otherwise cause a child to believe other people don't feel that way. That instinct defines a bad and good and if you do something bad you feel this itch to make it up to anyone involved, to tell people what you did, to try and get forgiveness and atone for whatever it is you did, and even after all of that there will still be that feeling of remorse. It is this thing in the pit of your stomach nagging you about what you did wrong - not because of any effect it may have on you, and it occurs even if there is 0 chance it will affect you in any way - and not letting you forget about it.

Shame is a different social response, and in typical development, comes from perceived risk of social consequences (if people found out they'd hate me, so I must be bad and I shouldn't have done it) and a hit to self-esteem/self-worth on the basis that they did whatever they did. It can also come from PTSD as a trauma response, or OCD. As a trauma response, doing something that may have caused a valued adult or caregiver or even a friend that was taking a somewhat caregiving role for you will cause this shame as you risk falling out of favor with someone who is safe. You don't want them to see you in a negative light because their opinion of you directly affects how you feel about yourself. As an OCD obsession it can come from being either labelled as bad as a child and your brain taking that in and becoming extremely paranoid about good vs evil and which side you stand on, or for someone who is kind and caring and "good" by social standards and values that, as an attack on something you value most - as that is what OCD does by definition. Shame is a part of the anxiety needed to keep humans in packs back when we were surviving in small groups in the "wild" rather than in established towns/cities/civilization of any sort. If a human were to be cut off from the pack due to distaste towards them, it would be the end of them almost certainly. Humans were weaker to the elements, starvation, dehydration, and predators at the time, so you needed the protection that came in numbers both for the ability to keep food/water/shelter around and for the fact that animals were less likely to attack a group of humans than a single one. It was literally life or death if people liked you enough to keep you around, and so there is a very strong response built into humans' brains to keep social favor towards them - that's what we call shame.

So shame has something to do with how you view yourself or how others view you (and the potential consequences thereof), while remorse is an instinct that does not care about consequences, whether anyone knows, your opinion of yourself, etc. Remorse just is because of the fact that you did the thing. It's considered disingenuous to apologize or attempt to make amends exclusively on shame, and remorse is a large part of the social dance expected when someone knows you did something wrong. In fact, perceived remorse is a large part of court proceedings and legal decisions such as parole/probation vs jail time, length of sentence, etc. "You should be ashamed of yourself" is a bit of a misnomer, because really what they want is for you to feel an instinctual suffering as a result of having had done something wrong.

I hope this made sense; as always anyone is welcome to send in another ask for clarification if it didn't.

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

[joels-darlin]

I Need You

Pairings: Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Warnings: mention of mental health/anxiety and panic attacks, some fluff (pls let me know if I missed any I'm new at this)

Summary: You turn to Pedro in a time of need.

Word count: 522 (ish)

Author Note: Just a small Pedro drabble that came to mind. Apologies if my Spanish translations are terrible, I will try to get better. Also, this is the very first fic I have ever posted on the world wide web (always written stuff but it's never seen the light of day) Pls be nice and any feedback is really appreciated, hope you all enjoy <3

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It was early hours of the morning when you paced the living room floor of your flat - a panic attack imminent. Tears streaming down your face, the stress of everything finally getting to you. Picking up the phone you knew who you needed and without even thinking dialled the number. “Hey…” he breathed “...everything okay querida?”. You swallowed harshly “P…I’m sorry….could you come over...I need you” choking between tears. On my way was all you heard before the click of the call ending. 

It wasn’t long before he let himself in the front door, not even giving you a chance to sit down. Taking in your broken form he raced to where you stood to which you leaped into his arms. “It’s okay I got you cariño, breathe” he soothed pulling you towards the couch collapsing in a heap. You lay with him, sobs echoing off the walls. Doing what he could to comfort you - holding you tight, stroking your hair. His heart breaking as every sob raked through your frame. 

It took a couple of hours before you finally calmed down, eyes red raw and tears drying up. “Baby girl, you with me” he said softly stroking your cheek tilting your head to look at him. “I think someone needs a cup of tea” he said, flashing you the softest smile to which you nodded in response. He was only gone for a couple of minutes but you felt lonely without the comfort and warmth. 

“I hate seeing you like this...” he placed the cup on the table and took a seat on the couch “...come live with me I can keep an eye on you, friends are supposed to look out for each other right” you paused for a second to think. Would that be a bad option? Well maybe for the fact that you were head over heels in love with your best friend and that he had literally no idea. “I...I...can’t” you stuttered. “Why not?” He pressed. You sighed, mind wandering elsewhere. “I know by the way...I heard what you said to Oscar” he spoke after a few moments of silence. Feeling your muscles tense up you turned to face him but you were unable to form any words, processing that he knew your deepest darkest secret. “Sweetheart it’s okay I feel the same way, but I think you need to focus on yourself first” he said softly, reaching out to lace your fingers together. “Okay” you croaked. 

Everything fell into place after that. Giving up the lease for your flat and moving into Pedro's spare bedroom. You got your mental health into a good space with thanks to him, helping you when he could in between jobs. It was that one night over dinner at home where you shared your first kiss, the feelings you both had for each other never lost and only growing stronger months down the line. One date after another led to sharing his bed the spare room that was once home forgotten, now that you were finally in his arms. He was always there when you needed him.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfic

[dimonds456]

Hey Dimonds, now that you are not making a second chance SU AU.

Does Spinel “pull a Bismuth”, because she’s afraid to Steven might “Abandon” her for Connie in the future.

Also because also the fact that it’s after pearl told everyone that Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond, (Spinel’s best friend who left her for 625 years). Causing Spinel to question her and Rose’s/Pink’s time together as “Friends”.

YOU. YOU GET IT.

So it's been years, but if I remember correctly, what I meant by "pull a Bismuth" was that Spinel attacked Steven for a VERY similar reason Bismuth did. It's less that she believed that Steven was Pink Diamond, and more that the gemstone won't ever change. Iirc.

She poofed from heartbreak when she discovered that Rose and Pink were the same person.

See, part of her history is that Pink Diamond got her from the garden and brought her to Earth, which Spins was excited about. Rose realized that just convincing Spinel to join the Crystal Gems wasn't going to work, because she was literally MADE to be Pink's friend and would stick by her no matter what, so they devised a plan; Pink Diamond would become just as horrible and nasty as the CG propaganda made her out to be, while Rose Quartz then swoops in to save Spins.

This culminates in a meeting. Pink spends years ignoring Spinel no matter what, and eventually just banishes the gem from her court in front of everyone. Spinel runs into the trees, heartbroken, and poofs. Pearl finds her gem and brings her back to the Crystal Gems, where she decides to join them. Rose shows her unending kindness and support (though she was still kinda uncomfortable around the gem, now Spinel had WAY more friends, and so that made her easier to tolerate to Rose), and Spinel found a home there.

...So when she discovered that they were the same person, she had a crisis. Anger, rage, jealousy, betrayal, hurt, ALL of it built upon itself until she once again poofed from heartbreak. And when Steven and Pearl came back with Sapphire, she'd reformed into an appearance similar to canon Spinel's movie form.

She attacks Steven because she has it in her head that Steven isn't who he says he is, either. Maybe he's not Pink, but also maybe he is! Who knows! Since she's so good at PRETENDING anyway!

It takes Pearl explaining that Rose just wanted to help her, despite not really wanting to be her friend anymore, that pulls Spinel back down. She was still lied to, and she is allowed to be angry about that, but Rose didn't do it just to fuck with Spins' head or anything. Rose genuinely wanted Spinel to be in the Crystal Gems, and once she was, she found a good home. That's all Rose wanted.

In Future, Spinel still has a LOT of mixed feelings about her. She's come to realize she can still appreciate the good memories, but those bad memories are valid as well, and it's a good thing they aren't friends anymore, no matter the method. Their personalities didn't mix well, and that's okay. At least they were kind to each other. Spinel can appreciate that, even if she wished Rose would have just talked to her instead. But hey, that's just who Rose was. She kept secrets.

Part of my goal with ASC was to keep in line with Pink/Rose doing things she felt was right, but was just the wrong way to go about it. Doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. Sorta. She's a complex character, and I wanted to try and express that further in ASC. She realized she shouldn't have left Spinel in the garden and gets her, which is good! But then she lied to her several times, which was bad! It was "for her own good," sure, but who decides that? (quote, Miles Morales.)

I hope I did both Rose and Spinel justice in my portrayal of them. That was always a point of anxiety for me, especially people were SO quick to villainize Rose no matter what she did. She wasn't a villain, but she wasn't a perfect saint, either. She was, well. Human. Ironically enough.

OH OH BEFORE I FORGET. YES. Spinel acted that way towards Connie because she was afraid of Connie taking Steven from her, just like Greg took away Rose and the Diamonds took away the Crystal Gems. She's tired of loosing friends, and Rose's passing caused her to WAY overcorrect and hold them WAY too close. This is why, despite having rocky relationships with the other CGs in Season 1, she still clings to them. There's good memories. She cannot let them go.

I hope this makes sense lol

#asc su au #a second chance #a second chance su au #steven universe #steven universe au #su au #crystal gem spinel #spinel #dimond speaks #rose quartz #pink diamond

[respectthepetty]

Hello hello! I finally caught up on DFF a few days ago and have been reading a bunch of meta ever since, but there are some things I can’t follow. Maybe you can help me?

First off, we keep talking about there being a Final Girl, but why is everyone so sure that there will be one? I could see more people surviving or the story going in a different direction entirely. Where does this conviction come from?

Then, I’m on board with the idea of hallucinations, but one thing that always bothers me is the question of how you could make sure that they all hallucinate the very same thing? I don’t know how hallucination-inducing drugs work, but that seems kind of weird to me.

Also, who is Tan and who is Perth again? This is such a dumb question, but I’m terrible with names and faces, and I know most of the characters now, but I keep mixing up these two.

Thank you so much for your time!

Anon, let me answer your last question first:

This is Mio who plays Tan in the series. Tan is part of the friend group but came along after Non disappeared.

This is Perth but it is unknown who he is playing in the series. He was only in the background of this scene in the dark jacket with the grey shirt.

As for the other questions, unfortunately, I cannot help you because unlike the rest of these perfectly normal people watching Dead Friend Forever, I'm crazy.

And because I'm crazy, I do NOT care about "reasoning" when it comes to my wack-a-doodle-doo theories. Therefore, White will be the Final Gay simply because I want him to be, and because none of these other motherf*ckers deserve to live.

Yeah, Fluke hasn't actively done anything, but he knew all of this was happening and turned a blind eye, so if Por is dead, why not just kill all of them? Well, expect for the actual killers, Tan and Phi, and the Final Gay White.

Por's death could have just been an accident, and everyone else will get out of this alive, but . . . I don't want it. I want Fluke to shoot Top, Tee to wrestle the gun away from Fluke only for it to go off and kill Fluke, White to kill Tee and run off scared, Tan to "die" because of an asthma attack (but he won't be dead), which will leave Jin and Phi as the only survivors, only for Jin to be stabbed by Phi right before White shows up with help.

Do you feel the crazy? Do you see what I was saying about myself? You cannot ask me logical questions because I am not using deductive skills. I'm operating off of vibes and vibes alone, which is why I felt Phi was sus in episode one. It's also why I don't like Jin. It's a vibe.

Which brings me to your drugs question - The vibes are off!

I think that Non is still alive and running around scaring them all, so not everything is because of the drugs, but if the energy isn't right, if the mood isn't chill, if the vibe isn't good, the drugs are going to hit different. The figurative trip will be bad. So if the literal trip involves the boys talking about Non and seeing videos of Non while they run through the woods for their lives, whatever drugs are in their system aren't going to be happy in a body with that amount of stress, and their brain will focus on Non and the masked killer. In fact, a common side effect of most party drugs is paranoia.

Hell, even some known prescriptions for depression and anxiety can cause these side effects.

Then again, I just do drugs. I don't know the actual science behind them, but I do know if the vibes ain't right, you're not gonna have a good night.

And these boys seem to be having a really shitty night.

But also, the boys haven't all seen the same thing. Fluke saw Por's eyes bleeding and attacking him. White saw a rash on his skin. Jin saw Mr. Keng. Top saw the masked killer trying to axe him (I think part of this was real) and thought he saw a masked killer in the road, so he scared Tee going on about it. Top also might be having a reaction to it which is why he was seizing.

PSA: Test your drugs, kids. Even Amazon, which I think is the devil, sells drug testing kits.

In case you have no idea what this image is about, the joint in her hand is laced with cocaine and was probably one of the reasons her ass was going through endless time loops, so don't do coke. Or things laced with it. Unless you wanna go into other dimensions and DIE every single time. Okay? M'kay!

So to wrap up my special brand of crazy:

White will be the Final Gay because like the Backstreet Boys, "I want it that way."

Everyone deserves to die because Phi is a cop's kid, and if the cops are good for anything, it's covering up the truth, so let this work in our favor for once.

Drugs be drugging, and sometimes people will think of the boy they tried to kill when under the influence, but it's a toss up. Who can predict what a person will see? So, like, don't betray people and you won't hallucinate being stalked by your own guilt *cough* Judas *cough*

Oh, and always test your drugs.

I hope this helped you, but it probably didn't. Either way, I'll see you in the tags in a few hours after Non finally loses his shit.

Slay, Non, slay!

#dead friend forever #dead friend forever the series #I wrote what I wrote #I have theories for days #but it's all based on vibes

[honey-boyyoongi]

Reader x Yoongi | Part 56//??

Word count ➪ 3.2k

Summary ➪ Min Yoongi, is a simple man. He likes his coffee black and iced, he enjoys his job, and he loves his baby girl. But what happens when the new neighbor, quite literally, drops into his life?

Warnings ➪ any typos are mine; angst lol; some cursing; mentions of abortion; mentions of self neglect during pregnancy; description of an anxiety attack; its established that Minji is like mentally ill; slight sexual description; if you’re name is crossed out it’s because I couldn’t tag you;

A/n: Hey guys! Uh just a quick warning if y'all hated Minji before.... well yall are gonna hate her now. Feedback is appreciated, and if you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know. 💕

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Yoongi sat across Minji in silence. They had exchanged mild pleasantries when she had arrived at the cafe. It was a small, cozy establishment; in normal circumstances he would’ve been excited at the prospect of bringing Hani here. He didn’t know what to say, or how to feel, except for anger and resentment. He remembered telling Jin so, while he got ready. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure,” Yoongi nodded. 

Jin nodded back in acknowledgement, “Okay then, remember Jimin will be in the back the entire time. Do you remember your safeword?”

Yoongi sighed heavily, “Pineapple..”

Seokjin grinned at his friend, “Good. Remember, be nice.”

Yoongi scowled, “I am being nice, she’s the one making demands after being gone for half a decade.”

Jin walked up to his old friend, fixing the non-existent flaws in Yoongi’s clothes, “You don’t have to do this, you know. She signed away her rights, you can keep her away from Hani.”

“I know..just..,” he sighed, “I need to know why she’s coming back now.”

“Will that help you move on,” Jin asked.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi answered. 

They watched as Jungkook came into Yoongi’s bedroom, looking as disheveled as Yoongi felt “Okay, the kids are still at the park with ___, she said they’ll be getting food on the way home. Also, Jimin texted me, "the cafe is closed, be there in 15 minutes”, and to text him when you get there.” 

Yoongi nodded, he lightly sniffled, feeling overwhelmed. He almost wished he was cowardly enough to stay. “I wish the first time going to Min’s place wasn’t.. this... I had hoped to bring Hani, to show her the pretty snacks and the pretty drinks..” Seokjin pulled Yoongi into a not so tight hug, he didn’t want to wrinkle his clothes, shushing him. “It’s okay, on another day we’ll take the kids, Gigi’s kids included, all of us will go out. It’ll be fun and you can make memories with Hani, okay?”

“Okay.”

Yoongi watched as Jimin placed their food in front of them; he’d gotten his trusty iced americano, while Minji opted for an iced chai. Jimin flashed Yoongi a quick smile, calming his wired nerves. 

Minji cleared her throat to bring his attention back to her, “Is he a friend of yours?”

Yoongi nodded slightly, “He is.” Minji gave him a look, as if egging him on. “He’s Jin’s little cousin’s business partner. We helped them out when they first started the process of building their cafe. I asked Tae for a favor, and they said yes. I’ve known Min for as long as I’ve known Tae.” 

Minji had no response, she continued to drink her iced chai in silence. She avoided making eye contact with him, and it bothered the ever living fuck out of Yoongi. He felt angry that Minji had the gall to demand his daughter over the phone, but refused to talk to him face to face. He had decided on the drive over that he would not be the one to bring up her absence. Yoongi wanted her to explain; why was she back? Her ongoing silence was making his patience wear thin, and it caused him to remember the last fight they’d had. 

Minji had been avoiding Yoongi; it had been 2 weeks since he’d told Minji he loved her. She had freaked out, stuttering out to Yoongi that she had to go. Yoongi had given her the weekend to breathe, he understood if she couldn’t say it back, not everyone felt romantic feelings the same. On Monday he texted Minji a message asking how she was feeling, and that it was okay if she didn’t reciprocate. By Thursday he was worried as she didn’t answer Yoongi’s calsl. On Sunday he messaged Mina asking if Minji was still even breathing. 

Mina apologized on her behalf. Minji had gone home to her parents, she said, as she had ‘obligations’. Minji wasn’t answering her calls, or texts as well. By day 12, Yoongi was worried, he’d sent a final text to Minji asking her to please take care of herself, and at the very least let Mina know she was okay. Hours later he got a very excited voice message from Mina updating him that Minji sent her an emoji. 

Two weeks to the day, Minji showed up on his doorstep. She looked relatively unharmed, except for the dark undereye circles from the possible lack of sleep. She walked in, silent. Yoongi asked her where she was, why didn’t she answer his texts or calls, was she okay? Minji didn’t answer any of his questions. They stood in silence. After a few moments Yoongi was begging Minji to please speak with him. She remained quiet. Yoongi went to his room, throwing whatever item was closest to him. He cried out in frustration wondering why they had gone back to square one. Had he not tried enough? Was he not trustworthy? Was it always going to be this way?

Minji entered his room, still wearing a blank look on her face. She kneeled in between his legs, looking down at his hands. Minji took them into hers, pulling him into an embrace. She kissed Yoongi’s knuckles and worked her way up his forearm and chest. She kept kissing up to his collarbone and neck, up until she met his lips. He sobbed into the kiss, relieved that Minji was finally responding to him. The kisses become more hurried, bordering on aggressive. Yoongi felt desperate and it showed. Clothes were tugged, and readjusted, until they were gone entirely. 

The next morning Yoongi asked Minji the same questions, but she continued to have no answers. He then asked why she ran away two weeks ago, she still refused to answer. Yoongi begged her to please say something, anything. Minji stared at him, “What do you want me to say?” 

He scoffed with indignation, he couldn’t believe it. “You ghosted Mina, and I. We would’ve filed a missing person’s report if it wasn’t for you telling her you had a family emergency. We were scared, Minji, I was scared, and all you can say is, ‘what do you want me to say’?” 

“I don’t know, what do you want me to say,” she repeated. 

“Of course you don’t know,” he murmured exasperated. 

They spent hours talking in circles. By the end they had both raised their voices at each other, fighting and failing at getting their points across. In those moments, Yoongi realized he would never get anywhere with Minji. He was tired of arguing, tired of having to hunt Minji down when she isolated herself, tired of the shallowness of it all. “You know what, I don’t want to do this anymore,” he blurted out.

Minji gaped at him wide eyed. “I’m done,” Yoongi said. “I’m tired of fighting for the bare minimum Minj.” Even their breakup was unchallenged. 

Minji agreed to the breakup. She dressed herself in the clothes she arrived in, packing up any small toiletries she’d left behind at Yoongi’s during her sleepovers. 

In the end, she was gone in less than 10 minutes.

Minji cleared her throat once again, taking another big sip of her iced chai. “What exactly do we need to talk about,” she asked. “I want to see her, is that not enough?” Yoongi heard a small, ‘oh hell’, from the kitchen. Jin must’ve given Jimin the rundown. 

“Well for one, hey how are you? I’m fine, thank you for asking,” Yoongi responded sarcastically. “I haven’t heard from you in 4 years, you could start by telling me, why? Why now?”

Minji sighed, “I know that it’s sudden, but.. It’s just that lately I’ve been thinking about things. My dad passed away two months ago, and my mom is god knows where. ‘Just turned 30, I kept thinking about my life in the past decade. I have a lot of regrets, and I was doubting myself. Was it the right decision, you know, having her. Was I right to keep away from her? A few months ago, Jungkook came up on my instagram explore page. It was a picture of him at the amusement park with Seokjin. I got curious so I clicked on his page.” She readjusted herself, leaning into the right handle of the sofa chair. “He’d grown up so much, and after scrolling through pictures of Seokjin and his son, and his friends, I saw you. I saw you with our daughter. You both looked so happy, playing with your friends, living your life freely. I wanted that. I wondered if we could be happy like that.”

Yoongi laughed in astonishment, he ran his tongue along the side of cheek, trying to stop himself from saying anything he’d regret. “That doesn’t answer my question; why now Minji? Why are you demanding to be a parent, when you never wanted to be one? The whole reason we’re like this is because you chose not to be in her life.”

Minji rebutted, “I did want to be a parent.”

“When,” Yoongi cried out incredulously. “You were going to abort, but couldn’t because you were too far along. I had to force you to leave your bed, wash your hair. My mom fed you, clothed you, made sure you drank water because you were essentially comatose. I’m still surprised you only had mild anemia from the lack of care you had for yourself.” He took a quick sip of his coffee to pace himself. Minji was starting to get agitated, but he could care less at this point. “It took me weeks to convince you to allow me sole custody of my daughter. For fucks sake, you drafted up the paperwork to terminate your rights, you had already signed them when it was sent to my lawyer for me to sign. I did everything possible to make sure you didn’t struggle, Minj.”

The distinct sound of plastic syrup bottles clinking and a responding ‘Ah fuck,’ cut Yoongi’s rant short. He called out to Jimin asking if he was okay, Jimin quickly responded with a firm ‘I’m good’. Minji slightly scoffed towards him, “Are you blaming me for all of this? I tried to be responsible, okay. You wouldn’t have understood how I felt if I told you.”

Yoongi could feel his eyes twitch in frustration. “Then tell me, I might’ve not fully understood, but at least I would’ve been there to support you.” He cradled his face in his hands, breathing slowly to put himself back together. “What do you want Minji? You didn’t want to be a mom, I understood, I supported you, and now you’re coming back demanding my daughter, my baby. Have you thought about how this is going to affect her? She doesn’t know you. Do you expect her to just accept you?”

Minji’s face was indiscernible, she looked to the side, as if organizing her thoughts. She turned back towards Yoongi, “Seeing as I am her mother, as long as she knows that she’ll be fine. Plus if I need help, mom can help me.”

He couldn’t believe it, “She’s not a puppy Minj, she needs to get to know you. Even I, being her father, have my moments with her.  And what do you mean mom will help you? Are you talking about my mom? Have you been in contact with her?”

Minji readjusted herself, she was starting to become visibly uncomfortable. “I have. It’ll be a learning curve, but she’s willing to aid me in what I need.”

Yoongi had to calm himself down, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. “Are you trying to take my daughter away from me Minji? Is that it?” It was suddenly difficult to breathe, Yoongi was trying to catch his already quickening breath. He couldn’t focus on himself, all he could think about was Hani. “Min, Jimin,” he blurted out. Jimin ran from behind the counter, sliding, quite literally, in front of Yoongi. 

Jimin pulled him to the side, away from Minji’s view. He guided Yoongi through his breathing exercises. “Yoon, you don’t have to do this. We can leave,” he whispered. Yoongi knew he was cracking at the seams. He couldn’t believe it. He shook his head, “No, Min I have to talk to her. I can’t.. I can’t let her take my baby Min, she’s all I have.” Jimin reluctantly allowed Yoongi to continue. 

Yoongi took in a big breath, barely collecting himself to avoid crying in anger. As he sat back in his spot he could see a flicker of the Minji he knew. She was tucked into herself and unsure. She looked at him with those big eyes that once used to hold stars, and now he couldn’t make out what they held. “Are you okay,” she whispered. Those three words were what broke the dam. Yoongi let out the tears that he’d been holding back ever since he woke up to Minji’s texts. He cried and cried, and wondered when he’d ever stop. He kept thinking why wasn’t he enough. 

Jimin walked over, handing him a tissue box and a reassuring pat on the shoulder. He whispered a small, ‘You can do this Yoon.’ It might’ve not been much, but it was the boost Yoongi needed. He collected himself once again, making sure to wipe any remnant of his small breakdown. 

“Minj, please for once, be straightforward with me. What do you want? What are you looking for? Whatever it is, my daughter isn’t your bandaid to fix it. She’s a living, breathing human being, with feelings. Just because she’s a toddler, doesn’t mean she’s not complex. She’s observant and blunt, and will out right refuse to acknowledge you if she feels off about someone, “ he says desperately. “If you’ve been in contact with my mom, why didn’t you contact me? If you wanted to be a part of her life, I wouldn’t have stopped you if you tried Minji. But nothing you’re doing now is showing me that you’ve changed. You’re still that scared young girl that I could never reach. For fuck sakes you still refuse to answer me and communicate, and you can’t be that way when kids are involved. So please, show me you’re responsible. Be direct with me.”

She looked at him with a pained look, sniffling repeatedly to keep herself calm. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” Minji responded quietly. 

Yoongi groaned loudly, “God, Minji, please don’t do this. Talk to me. I’m trying to meet you halfway, make the same effort to meet me, please.”

Minji wouldn’t speak, she started hiccupping under her breath. The last thing Yoongi wanted was for her to start crying. “I’m sorry Yoongi, I don’t know what to say.”

Yoongi rose from his seat, extremely frustrated. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. It was too much for him. Nothing made sense. Could Minji and his mother be working together to take Haneul from him? Have they been in contact for a long time? Who reached out first? Worst of all, how could his mother do this? He wondered if his dad knew, and why he hadn’t reached out to inform him if he did? Why was this happening? He just wanted to live his life with his daughter, and his friends peacefully. How was Hani going to feel having a stranger pushed onto her? Would they try to take his daughter away from him? He didn’t want to be here anymore. He wanted to be home with his daughter. 

He picked up his coffee, lifting his hand signaling Jimin that they were leaving. “We’re not getting anywhere, so I’m leaving. I’m not going to talk in circles.” He took in a deep breath in an attempt to ease the weight on his chest. 

Minji slightly scrambles out of her seat. She looked at him like she wanted to speak out, her face crumbling, she looked guilty almost. She grabbed her purse and drink, following Jimin and Yoongi towards the exit. She doesn’t leave immediately, watching as Jimin double checks that all the entrances were locked. She approaches Yoongi slightly, they look at each neither sure if they should say their goodbyes. For a moment Minji seemed to have worked up the courage to speak, but she quickly squashed it and sped off to what he assumed was her rental. Yoongi watches as she speeds away, a little reckless at that. He keeps watching until the car is no longer visible, and the weight on his shoulders is partially lifted. 

Yoongi cried the entire way home. He asked Jimin to check if Hani was asleep or at least with ___, he didn’t want to scare her with how disheveled he was. ___ offered to keep the kids in her apartment for him to cool down. While he appreciated it, all he wanted was to hold his daughter. 

He thanked his friends for looking after Haneul while he dealt with his current trainwreck. Hani snuggled into his hair, trying to find comfort in his smell. ___ had given Hani her nighttime bath, so it was one less thing Yoongi had to do tonight. He got out of the clothes he saw Minji, cleaned himself up, and got ready for bed. He made Hani a warm cup of milk, and prepped the right side of his bed for her to sleep in. He sprayed down her favorite lavender sleep spray, and turned on the soft star night light she loved. He read her a story, and played with her hair until she fell asleep. Yoongi cradled his daughter in his arms, and he thought back to the early days of her being a newborn.

In the midst of his insomnia, Yoongi remembered how terrified he was to be parenting alone, and would overthink every decision. He remembered how little he slept, and how often the doula would urge him to sleep, even if it was a small power nap. But between all that, the time he remembers most fondly is one of Hani’s worst colicky nights. The formula had been causing his newborn baby to build up gas, while his pediatrician changed the formula to something for sensitive stomachs, she was still colicky. He’d tried everything possible, but it just wouldn’t work. Until, one afternoon while giving Hani a little stretch recommended by the doula, she’d let out the gas that had been making her upset. Her little sigh of relief was music to Yoongi’s ears, and he almost cried texting Eunha the news. It was one of the first nights Yoongi was able to sleep more than 3 hours with Hani. He remembered thinking that all those sleepless nights had been worth it to comfort his daughter, and how he would’ve done it again. 

Currently he looked down at Haneul, and saw how much she was growing up. She was no longer his baby, but a toddler. She no longer needed to cling to him, but chose to do so. She had opinions and had no qualms of letting them be known. She was bright, bubbly, and so creative. His daughter was his heart, and he had no idea why they wanted to take her away. 

Tag List: @unicornbabylover @halesandy @supernoonanyc @aianloveseven @hannahdinse8 @lyndseygoregasmxo @aunoiire @brbkpop @nochuwastaken @tinyoonsblog @borahae-reads @jinscharms @phenomenalgirl9 @yoongiigolden @girlwithluv0613 @yaboiithewreck @mint--yoongs @ysljoon @hyunjingin @yu-justme @damn-u-min-yoongi @lovelytaes-blog @so-da-1 @cruelsummer-s @seolaquotes @lovelgirl22 @dreamamubarak @leanimal90 @atinymonbebestay @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @jaiuneamesolitaiire @proudbtsstanfightmebeach @bookoffracturedescapes @fairywriter-oracle

Fic Masterlist

#bts #bts imagines #bts fics #bts non idol au #bts social media au #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts sm au #bts smau #bts scenarios #bts fake texts #yoongi #bts x reader #reader x yoongi #bts angst #bangtan #fic: oh baby #bangtan fluff #bangtan imagine #bangtan fic #bangtan fanfic #bangtan social media au #bts single dad au #bangtan sm au #bangtan non idol au #bangtan angst #bangtan scenarios #bangtan fake texts

[frankiensteinsmonster]

So we looked into it and that person who harassed me was very obviously fishing for specifically physically disabled people to attack. My tags for that post about Mourning Your Own Loss/Lack Of Physical Health and Ability was tagged "Cripple Punk, Cpunk, and Chronic Pain". And they came in calling me a disability exclusionist and putting words in my mouth because I made a post about an experience specifically physical disability struggle with. It was so fucked up to be targeted and harassed like that for making a post that was so specifically made for phys. disabled folks.

It really fucking sucks to be treated so brutally by folks who literally Demand to be included in this space.

And able bodied people with mental health issues wonder why we can't just share the same spaces, when not only do we just literally have our own unique experiences that cannot be understood fully unless you Go Through Them (for both sides! Obviously!),

but also, they've literally treated me differently as I became vocal about physical disability + visibly disabled. Like I am living exactly the experience I watched other physically disabled people talk about here in real time. I am watching it happen and it is so dehumanizing.

And on top of all of that, some of my top posts are Mental Health Positivity Posts AND once again, as someone who's only been phys. disabled for less than a year, but had experienced mental health issues + neurodiversity for essentially all my life

It really sucks to be reduced to my physical disability and assumed to not be a part of the mental health community as well.

I guess, all in all, I AM an active member of these communities and I do my part for both and understand we both have separate support needs.

:( it just bites to have people treat me this way and then preach about mental health, while damaging mine and then calling me a disability exclusionist with all the work I do to help both communities individually. Especially when most of what I post personally is legitimately positivity posts and helpful questions that are appreciated by the people they are about because

Go figure, I make people feel represented bc I Care About Them and Acknowledge Them even when their experiences aren't my own!

Anyways, I'm gonna go sulk until I feel better because I deserved better treatment than I received and I deserve to feel better ASAP bc I've got a busy day tomorrow. Wheeling myself to the pharmacy. For my antidepressants, nightmare, anxiety, and pain medication. (Irony always lifts up my mood in these situations) <3 good night everybody!!!

#ps i think that person should send me 20 bucks :/ for the Distress #cpunk #cripple punk #chronic pain #chronic illness #cane user #mobility aid #mobility aid user #ambulatory wheelchair user #wheelchair user #<- tagging for community bc we deserve to be acknowledged for the woes we're made to go through by #(assumedly) able bodied people 😶

[mdhwrites]

Do you find it rather funny that some (not all) of the people who wanted Amphibia's third season to be filled with angst, panic attacks, tears, grief and parental drama, also wanted a perfectly happy ending to the story rather than the bittersweet one we got? Like, ironic much?

There's a reason why I frame fandom desires for angst to be about shipping and prestige. That they want the high emotions and the claims they can make because of those elements but not what actually comes from it. In other words: Fandoms want Yesterday's Lie's ending from The Owl House.

For those unfamiliar, this is EXACTLY at the half series mark for TOH. Luz's, the main character, mom has just found out that her daughter ran away for the Summer to a different world and when she had to choose between going home or staying there, she chose to stay there. She immediately starts blaming herself and pleading with her daughter that she'll do better but next time, she promises to return, please!

And, Luz, to her credit, is a good daughter and says yes. The sequence is powerful, real, human and tragic. A real acknowledgement of how awful Luz's original choice was while keeping Camila in character of being as caring as she is. A moment that will theoretically solidify the two's bond but to undo will take a LOT of work as Camila will now be forced to stew with this pain as in the moment of the promise, her daughter is ripped away from her again.

It was also a moment I knew COULDN'T matter.

The show simply didn't allow for it. This isn't Amphibia where the girls had to adapt to their surroundings and still had elements about the human realm they liked. Luz isn't surrounded by creatures who are entirely unlike her and thus will always have to deal with some slight element of isolation. The Boiling of Isles of TOH is Luz's home. The show CONSTANTLY reinforces that this is where she belongs. That this isn't just where she can be happy but potentially the ONLY place she can be happy. Her social anxiety vanishes. She can find like minded people. She can live out the fantasies that she always chooses over reality. By the time of Yesterday's Lie, she has not just a found family but also the first friends she's implied to have had in a long time and her first girlfriend. Her life is on the Isles.

So you have literally spent HALF of your runtime reinforcing this. That maybe Luz needs to learn some lessons but her life is with the weirdos. On the Isles. You can't just pivot from that thematically. Not without shifting the show HARD. You have to take a show where Luz's every action has either been shown as positive or able to be fixed and now acknowledge this very real act of monstrousness on her part and the lengths one has to go to fix such a break in trust, let alone when the very next episode wants to portray it as something that is actually really messing with Luz's head.

Of course... That episode also includes Luz lying. And not just that episode. In fact, she will CONSTANTLY lie and break the trust of her girlfriend, and her friends, for literally the rest of the series. This cardinal sin of Luz's, lying to her mother, suddenly becomes a defining trait of hers to an extent never present beforehand. And mind you, it's not universal. To Luz and Eda, she is willing to tell them literally ANYTHING. Her girlfriend though? Fuck her.

It does make the show darker to constantly have your main character be a fucking asshole who whines about the consequences of their actions more than they actually learn from them but does it make it better? Does it make it more mature? Does it make enjoyable? No. Because it's a thematic and tonal betrayal of EVERYTHING that came before. Not that Luz ever managed to really learn anything before but they weren't nearly so blatant about her REFUSING to learn. Worse yet, this isn't a character flaw thing. Lying is one of those things we can all agree is bad but there are NEVER consequences for it because, well, the show still commits to Luz not just being the protagonist but also the hero.

And so this big moment, Yesterday's Lie's ending, is eventually just dropped. Something I could have told you was going to happen the day after the episode came out. It couldn't fit what the show had said about its main character so far and NO ONE would be happy with an ending where she actually keeps to the promise. Undoing the promise also would have cheated the moment, which dropping it does too, not without truly proper build up and reasoning, something the show struggled with in general.

So like many a fanfic, it does this big, super angsty moment... And then never continues it. Those most affected never actually show growth or change from it. It's almost episodic levels of bad how much people just keep forgiving Luz's actions and seem to forget about these really important statements, or how Luz blatantly keeps ignoring everyone around her, and eventually her own words in S3, to keep angsting about this but not actually dealing with it.

And Amphibia, to finally loop back around, did this itself. It took Marcy out of the story in order to have its big break in tone but not have to really deal with the fact that that moment should have had a big impact... On Marcy. Yes, it's brutal for Anne and Sasha but for them, it's just a complicated friend getting potentially killed. For Marcy, it is a betrayal, near death AND she has been pushed away by her friends for her actions. She as a character just isn't compatible with the show, not without the tone of a finale or her being effectively high/drunk to keep her from actually properly acknowledging anything.

It is a narrative tightrope, let alone for kid's media, but Marcy IS a much more expendable character than your main character. Even then, S3 of Amphibia is genuinely about many of the things that the fandom wanted. Her parents are TERRIFIED about what might happen to Anne. Anne can barely keep it together for the first few episodes and makes mistakes she might know better about if not for how she is trying to make her life any less complicated and scary than it already is. The Plantars are really the only ones who don't follow this stuff but even then, episodes like Spider-Sprig still let us see that being outsiders here, when Anne is accepted back in their home, digs at their brains. They also help even out things and keep the tone consistent with the rest of the work, even while it does deal with some of the ramifications of its choices.

It's not perfect but it is what AMPHIBIA can do. Without a future series, it was never going to go as far as these fans wanted.

Though... If you are looking for an Amphibia that might even be tiptoeing up to the line of being for Adult Swim rather than a main kid's programming block, definitely more teen rated with the amount of damage it has, while keeping spot on with the tone of the original and genuinely trying to be mature with its storytelling, I recommend checking out Dr. Neque's Amphibia vol. 2. I jumped in once the trio got back to Amphibia and have been loving it so far.

Even that version of Amphibia knows that it can't be doom and gloom all the time though. That the charm of Amphibia is partially from how absurd and fun it is. How over the top it can be with its silliness and fun. We admittedly just had a fight that was... ROUGH but for similar reasons as to why True Colors was so brutal in its ending but in a state that I think is better narratively by not quite going so far. That's all I will spoil though.

All of this to say that fandom likes the emotions of angst but not its consequences or how it can damage a narrative overall. How you do need to actually be ready to tackle that properly if you want to tackle it at all or else a small trickle of angst can quickly spoil the pot, let alone an entire, rancid apple like what would happen if most fandoms even got a single episode of what they wanted.

After all, TOH fans got what they wanted from the end of Yesterday's Lie and that is the episode that turned my heart on the show. I am SO happy that there is no equivalent for Amphibia.

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #amphibia #amphibia critical

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Heya! I sent in a matchup request before but I kinda rambled off in it (and I think I was on anon too-) so imma try again and be less ramble-y 😅

For Hazbin Hotel please!

-------------

Gender/Pronouns: She/They AFAB

Sexuality: Asexual, questioning-aromantic who would date men/masc

Age: 25

Appearance: 5'11 White Australian with pale as fuck skin, blue eyes with dark bags under them, half my head is shaved the other half long, currently dyed red hair but it changes once it washes out and I get bored of my natural blonde. Slightly chubby belly with average breasts I wanna remove completely 👍

MBTI: INFP-T

Mental Additives: I have autism, clinical depression, clinical anxiety, PTSD and lowkey a hypochondriac.

Personality: I'm told I'm open-minded and easy to get along with. I am also a completely open book who talks about 98% of things I have been through; including trauma and random factoids I have learnt.

I smile all the time, even when crying I find myself smiling sometimes. All I want is for the people I care about to be happy; and I don't always include myself in that list but I've been getting better at doing so!

I don't have a job but I am slowly looking. I think I've just gotten used to not having a job or going to school? It's boring and mind numbing, but the last job I had gave me anxiety attacks. Doesn't help I have no ambitions in life. Except for whatever hyperfixation I'm on!

Yet I also verbally yet playfully threaten violence on friends, but if need be I can't ever throw a punch. I diffuse situations with words and pacifist action (like leaving). But I will use my height and build to be threatening to protect a friend, despite knowing that I can't defend myself. I also break into tears if I feel like I said the wrong thing to a friend or family member. I'm not as scary as I sometimes look or act.

Imma list off words that remind me of my personality since idk how else to explain myself: Helpful, imaginative, leisurely, loyal, protective, self-critical, absentminded, touch-starved, irritable (prob the anxiety talking hopefully), unable to flirt or recognise flirting, quirky, anxioussss!, logical thinker.

Likes: True crime, reading/writing fanfic, my cat, my five birds, my two fish!, I want reptile pets, random facts, the cold (jumper weather), playing all types of video games, watching YouTube, thunderstorms, chocolate, soft drinks, my lil brother, my OC that I shape into whatever fixation I'm on!

Dislikes: Having writers block, drinking alcohol, smelling cigarettes/weed, being called lazy, being compared to others, the heat (remove my skin), drinking water, my lil brother (when he's in mean mode), racists, terfs, literally all dumbasses who think they're better than everyone, routines.

Hi, I love you! I hope you enjoy this! I want everyone to know that this bean is an amazing Mutual, and you should all check them out! Okay, okay, now to the show!

~~~~~ MATCHUPS ~~~~~

HAZBIN HOTEL

Alastor

~~~~~ HEADCANONS ~~~~~

Alastor really doesn't care for people in general. If you aren't one of the few he deems good enough, stay out of his way.

That's why he was thrown for a loop when you came along. Is someone so kind and genuine not being scared of him? Who do you think you are?

Alastor is very protective, and though it may take ages to realize he has feelings, he will firmly defend and protect you.

When you and Niffty are hanging out, he feels so proud and almost giddy, an emotion he only feels when murdering normally.

When you fought the Angels, he was in awe of you. Though you needed training from Vaggie, you were fierce and ready to do whatever you could to save your friends.

The first time he snapped at you, he felt horrible, and when you started crying, he was practically a dead man, times two. He spent weeks trying to apologize and make it up to you.

He isn't big on touching or affection, but he shows you he cares in his own way. He is always opening the door for you, cooking for you, and taking you to special events or places.

He supports all your hobbies and interests and even tries to help you find new things to enjoy. This way, when he is busy doing whatever he has to, you are entertained until he returns.

He loves just having lazy days with you in the Radio Tower. There, he can work on his master plans, and you can do whatever to your heart's content.

When he finally accepts he has stronger feelings for you than his regular crew of Mimzy, Rosie, and Niffty, he asks the girls what's happening to him.

They collectively help him confess to you, and when they find out that you two are a lot more similar than they thought, they are thrilled for you two now that you guys have found your person.

If you ever mention physical touch or intimacy with him, he will allow it, but only if you are comfortable with it. Do not force yourself to think it's the right thing to do unless you 100% want it to.

~~~~~ BLURB ~~~~~

You had been working with Niffty on a surprise for Alastor. He had been working hard to take down the Vees and especially hard to piss off Vox after a particularly vile comment he made about you. Niffty was out collecting the materials while you were researching how to make a cape, crown, and scepter. Once everything was rounded up and ready to go, you two got down to some serious work. Building your masterpiece for Alastor was moving along well, and you two couldn't wait to see his face.

Sneaking up to Alastors room, you set up the creation. While you were busy making it look perfect, Niffty distracted Alastor. However, Alastor knew that something was off as soon as you weren't downstairs ready to greet him. Making his way to your location, Niffty did her best to stall the tall man, but it was too late. Luckily, just before the door opened, you had set up the display. You remembered before the battle against the Angels that Niffty had dubbed Alastor 'King Roach'. Alastor was a king in your eyes, so you wanted to show him how you honestly thought of him.

There before Alastor stood a mannequin with a deep red cape adorned with blackthorns, a crown made of black cardboard and gold glitter glue, and lastly, a scepter made out of a large stick and one of Lucifer's rubber ducks that looked like Alastor. The man couldn't help but laugh at the creation in pure enjoyment. As he walked over to start putting on the new outfit, Niffty crawled up your shoulder and perched there waiting. Once King Alastor was officially crowned, he bent down and asked, "May I kiss you, my love?" You nodded gently, and all that was heard after the kiss was a 'blegh' sound from the tiny woman perched on your head.

~~~~~ EXTRA ~~~~~

(You had been sitting in the Radio Tower for hours and were ready for fun. However, Alastor was still trying to work.)

Y/N: Can we please do something else, Alastor?

Alastor: Dear, you are always more than welcome to do whatever you please. The most powerful demon lord is your partner.

Y/N: Noooo, Alastor, I wanna do something with you.

Alastor: Hmmmm, is that so, like what?

Y/N: uh uh uh....damn it! You can't put me on the spot like that, Alasor.

Alastor: Alright, alright, come on, let's go to Rosies for some tea and a break.

Y/N: Hell yeah! Field trip!

#x reader #match up #headcanon #hazbin hotel #hotel hazbin #hazbin #hazbinhotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #lunarwritings #moons