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aroaceleovaldez · 4 months

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hey! hope this isn't weird but i wanted to know why you think artemis wasn't up to standards even in the original pjo series. you reblogged from me and so i had front row to your tags on the post about zeus jaja i've not seen people talk a lot about her and it got me interested as i'm a classics student!

- @zoebelladona 🌙

HELLO OH BOY okay so I have half a rant already about Artemis in terms of Rick and general aphobic tropes in the series. see: that open letter on twitter. i still need to transfer that to tumblr. fun fact: Rick replied to that post but deleted his reply at some point. probably because two replies after he replied to my post and word-of-god confirmed Reyna to be ace-coded he left social media for a bit.

Fun times! Anyways.

The thing I dislike about Artemis as she's depicted in the series, besides her constantly appearing as a teenager and the aphobic tropes with that [see: open letter linked above] - which on some level is slightly more excusable than other examples given she's a goddess of young women, but given how he writes Athena, Hestia, and the Hunt instead leaves a bad taste in my mouth - and other similar aphobic tropes with her, is her whole weird anti-men thing (which is also, in itself, also an aphobic trope in this particular circumstance). I understand TTC was written in 2007 so that flavor of radical feminism that Artemis and the Hunt is clearly supposed to be was only just coming into major public awareness and the flaws in the ideology (and the inherent bigotry, particularly transphobia and racism that often comes with it) weren't as well recognized at the time. But in hindsight it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth for obvious reasons and is one of the things from the first series that severely aged poorly in my opinion, and I greatly dislike that in every subsequent retcon of the Hunt for other reasons Rick more or less retains that aspect.

Secondly... it doesn't make sense from a mythological standpoint? Because there are multiple examples of men being Hunters in Artemis' retinue. Even ignoring Orion, no matter how you go about shaking that stick (which for the record I really dislike how Rick retconned him in the series/wrote him in HoO), Hippolytus is a very notable example. Literally his big whole original shtick was he joined the Hunt because he didn't like romance and Aphrodite got so pissed about him not needing her (romance) that she killed him. And even when Aphrodite was trying to ruin his life he held on to his virtues and vow to Artemis (refusing advances even when his life was on the line). He is otherwise totally chill and devoted to Artemis. Some versions of his myth has Artemis have him resurrected after he dies (by Asclepius, which is why Asclepius is punished for reviving the dead). This also obviously doesn't address the major glaring logical flaw in Artemis hating all men which is... Apollo. Especially within the series he seems to be an exception for no reason, despite Artemis also very overtly having a "brothers are not an exception to the no-men rule." And from a modern queer standpoint, it obviously begs the question of stuff like gender identity within the Hunt and if you bring back the radfem stuff it gets real bad vibes real fast. Which also sucks when you particularly look at historical/mythological descriptions of Apollo and Artemis and how they very poignantly encompass defying gender roles and expectations particularly within their cultural contexts.

And every time Rick tries to retcon the Hunt, he somehow manages to make it kind of worse, particularly with the oath. I have a whole personal thing for how I think to best rectify all that nonsense in a way that isn't horrible and is related to some of Artemis' aspects in a more sensible way (buried somewhere in this monster of a post. Honestly i'd just recommend ctrl + f search "Hunters" on that post and it should be somewhere near the first ping there). In there I also go into some of my other thoughts for the general meh way the Hunt is written in the series, mostly being aphobic tropes and random death fodder.

So yeah. Basically, tl;dr: I am personally not a huge fan of how Artemis in the series is halfway to being a terf and chock-full of aphobic tropes. And I need Rick to stop retconning things into the ground.

#pjo #riordanverse #hunters of artemis #artemis pjo #analysis #< yeah sure it warrants that tag #ask to tag #zoebelladona #ask #i really need to transfer that open letter rant to tumblr #still amused that rick replied to it within like an hour of me posting it but clearly didnt read it #long post //#also heads up this is only like half-proofread cause i'm ill right now #so i apologize if it's nonsensical at all

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dragonseeds · 7 months

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what are your thoughts on rhaegar and lyanna?

oh i love them! there’s all this talk of them haunting the narrative and they do, but i’d take it further and say they are the black hole at the center of the story. the choices that they made, starting with lyanna’s decision to defend howland reed and what that meant to both him and rhaegar, who was very likely at his lowest point at harrenhal after the ruination of his careful plans, touched or changed the lives of every character and plot line in the series. the story itself is such a fun mashup of tristan and iseult, lancelot and guinevere, helen and paris, the fall of camelot and all of arthuriana really, the classic trope of the princess in the tower and the dragon and the knight: all of that in one couple and we don’t get to experience any of it with them. we can guess and speculate, but we can never truly know them. we experience their story only through the memories the people who survived the war they ostensibly kicked off, and those memories are all heavily colored by trauma, guilt, nostalgia—alternately faded and sharpened by time. it’s this incredibly fun and brilliant reconstruction of some of the most enduring tragedies in folklore and mythology and i adore it.

hate beyond articulation the way asoiaf.tumblr.edu approaches their relationship and the individual characterizations of both of them, though. just absolutely some of the most insufferably sanctimonious disingenuous decontextualized analysis i’ve ever experienced—much of that coming from people viewing this through a historical lense instead of a thematic one. like, imagine approaching the battle of the trident as “rhaegar is a bad person for fighting for his father who was evil! he lost the moral high ground with that one” as opposed to “rhaegar as a character exists to fail and die; he was the last dragon, carrying the unbearable weight of his family’s legacy and the burden of the prophecy for which they conquered westeros: the end of his life is the end of the targaryen dynasty. he must fail and he must die, so that dany and jon can grow up free of that weight and that power. daenerys gets to redefine what it means to be targaryen on her own terms. she and jon separately and unknowingly do the things that he thought he had to do—the things he was conceived and born to do—but never knew how: they do it because of their circumstances, because of the people that they have grown into, because they believe it is their duty, because they have the power to do it.” also, like, re: interpretations of battle of the trident, is there maybe another battle that occurs later in the series that is exactly the same thematically and contextually? where perhaps a character who was missing for a while shows up on the eve of battle, knowing that the opposition is right and their cause is just but that his family will die if he doesn’t fight with them? anything that adds an extra layer of meaning to what happens, aside from dany’s own connection—which is not as thematically similar but is still incredibly meaningful. like i certainly don’t think there’s any one interpretation of a character or story, but the worst ones are consistently applied to rhaegar.

and then with lyanna in particular, it’s like people cannot stomach her or find her sympathetic as a character unless they’re wallowing in her eternal victimhood. the constant dismissal of the importance of lyanna’s actions and what they meant to rhaegar is pure misogyny, by the way. her choices and her agency, the inherent meaningfulness of the struggle for both of those things in a system that seeks to reduce her to her body and the use men can make of it—all of that is important. the person she was and what that meant to people was important, but from the way i most often see her discussed, it’s like her gendered death is the only thing that matters. it’s okay to lament her because she got crushed by the wheel. if she hadn’t, if she wasn’t a victim to write flagellatory meta about, she would be a hypocrite, someone who needed to learn a lesson—as difficult for some of these people to relate to as dany or rhaenyra apparently are.

like, it’s just wild to me because her kindness to howland reed and her choice to defend him, to disguise herself as the knight of the laughing tree and risk her life and reputation to fight for him—is the answer to and the embodiment of one of the most thematically significant questions in the series. we see it most prominently in dany’s chapters because she asks it directly: why do the gods make kings and queens if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves? that’s what lyanna did, when no one else was doing it: she had more honor than any knight at that tourney or any man sitting on the small council, and it meant something to rhaegar. like what about this is hard to understand? i think he must have idealized her immediately: she must have seemed like something out of a song or a story to him, and rhaegar was a singer, a songwriter, a bard: he knows how stories are supposed to go—how to finish a song, or at least he thought he did.

bran, who also loves stories, says it himself: “and the mystery knight should win the tourney, defeating every challenger, and name the wolf maid the queen of love and beauty.” like obviously bran has some critiques i cut out, but he has the ending right—only the wolf maid was the knight, and she couldn’t have won. in the feudal gender prison, women are rewarded for being beautiful and their worth is derived from that and from what their bodies provide. she should’ve won the whole thing, but the system doesn’t allow that, so rhaegar—in a fit of single-minded capital r romantic hero idiocy—dedicates himself to winning the tourney to honor her in the only way he can: the only way the system allows him to recognize her. it was the worst possible move he could make at that time because of the romantic connotations, but i love him for doing it, as stupid as it was and even though there is no way it didn’t hurt and humiliate elia, or make him look terrible when he desperately needed to make a good impression on the lords of the realm—it’s just such a Moment. being reminded that there’s good in the world—feeling hope in the face of endless abject overwhelming despair—how do you express gratitude for that? the idea that he could only doing it by hurting someone who didn’t deserve it and making himself look like an ass is fucking awesome. i’m genuinely so sorry for people are incapable of enjoying that. could not be me!

but that’s just my interpretation of what happened at harrenhal. like i said, part of why i like them so much is that we truly don’t know. while i love darker relationships in general, the idea that he crowned her at harrenhal because he wanted to impregnate her then does not work for me. it’s a popular theory, but it renders some of the very few contextual clues we are given about what happened meaningless. for one, he didn’t know that elia wouldn’t be able to have more children at that time. this was discovered after she gave birth to aegon, and that is the point at which the question of the third child appears to have become a motivating factor for him. i personally think he left for the riverlands to consult with the ghost of high heart—the one whose prophecy is the reason he was born, the reason is parents were forced to marry, the reason his family burned alive the night he came into the world—and ran into lyanna somewhere near harrenhal. it’s possible he had been in contact with her prior to this (how? without her family knowing? what are the logistics of that?) but i think it’s just as likely it was pure chance. i really like the idea that his crowning her queen of love and beauty caused lyanna’s father to set a date for her wedding to robert or talk of moving it up, maybe even suggest a double wedding at riverrun, which would have almost certainly caused her to balk. either way, high heart is located between harrenhal and riverrun. arya also stops there while she’s kidnapped by the brotherhood without banners on the way to ransom her to her family at riverrun, and they trade songs to the ghost for her dreams and prophecies. i think it’s worth noting because arya’s journey in the riverlands mirrors lyanna’s right down to her “death” as arya stark when she leaves for braavos, paying the ferryman’s fee with the coin jaqen h’ghar gave her—just as jon’s journey at the wall mirrors rhaegar’s in many ways right up until his own death.

i also don’t think rhaegar and lyanna eloped because they were in love—this is implied by lyanna’s famous quote—but that they did come to love each other deeply, which is suggested by the way they died: her roses and him saying her name. notably, rhaegar did not leave the tower of his own volition—someone had to come and get him with news of war, which is hilarious because i think the tower of joy is right in the middle of like three major battles of the rebellion? like quite frankly, if he didn’t love her or care for anything beyond the prophecy and if she didn’t love him despite how badly things went wrong, then where in their story is the heart in conflict with itself?

i do want to clarify that i love the tower entrapment and the power imbalance aspects of their relationship as much as i love (what i interpret as) the genuine respect for each other that grew into love: it’s really the tension of those disparate elements that interests me. a dragon can love the maiden, but he’s only ever a dragon—still liable to hoard her like treasure or burn her up and rip her open trying to be gentle, to protect. that FUCKS, sorry! love is sweet and hopeful, but it’s also at exactly the same time horror, consumption, destruction.

idk it’s myopic to act like the beginning or the ending of their relationship—of their lives—is the summation of it. i think people want their story to be easy when it’s not: a clear case of a villain and his victims where everyone knows who to root for and no one has to think too much about things that are difficult or uncomfortable, questions where there probably isn’t an answer that doesn’t hurt someone. what a sad, tedious way to approach any text, but specifically this one. i’ve sometimes seen it suggested that if their story is romantic then it’s an endorsement or justification of all the “bad” things that happened because of it, and that’s also stupid. grrm as an author is never going to be someone who tells us how to feel about anything: he presents these characters and situations, often as a means of exploring certain facets of the human condition, and each of us has to come up with our own answers and find our own meaning. i don’t think he always knows what he means, or what those answers are, you know? but for me rhaegar and lyanna are one of the most fascinating parts of story, and whatever the truth is—if we ever find out—i can’t imagine a scenario where i don’t love them or find them really interesting and wonderfully sad.

#lyanna stark #rhaegar targaryen #rhaelya #i’d apologize for this being so long but u have got to all be used to me by now #like i couldn’t be succinct at gunpoint #or coherent apparently #and especially not about this like i’m not normal about either of them #also just to clarify because this kind of turned into a rant: none of this applies to people i follow #but like. i sincerely think that 90% of the meta about them (individually + their relationship) is bad lol #and part of that is bc so much of it is based on fanon instead of what is actually in the books #and that frustration really comes through in this post and i regret that but it’s out there now lol #asoiaf

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pansear-doodles · 9 months

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I gotta get this out of my chest (and i might get hate for this but whatever)

I feel like the rain world fandom as a whole is painted in a one-sided lens- thats not true because if you really take a step back and look at the entire picture of it all there are circles and subcircles of certain populations who are into specific parts of the game and its much more nuanced than what most people complain about.

You have of course people who care about the gameplay. Not all of them are into lore stuff but when it comes to fandom stuff they tend to be mixed. They are the closest to being in line with canon. They are a mostly neutral party but they have their own can of worms to feed when it comes to new players, but I'm not here to talk about that relatively speaking.

You have people who enjoy the ideas of the characters and create transformative stuff out of it. This is where most circles of fanon, headcanons and aus reside, the """fandomification""" side of rain world if you will. This is relatively new in the fandom and most new fans(post dp) reside here, and because of that factor they're always given the most flak and attention by veterans who reside in other circles. (Even though these circles can coexist)

Many veterans (though not all of them are veterans) reside in circles that are described as the more canonical and spiritual side- because of the focus of the game. They tend to be more focused on the consistency for what the game offers- making theories and discussing certain aspects and making content that most consider isnt """fandomification""" or woobifying/blorbo-ing characters. Of course, this circle has subcircles of their own

I'm not trying to antagonize people who say that they miss when the fandom was in a relatively calmer and ""non-fandomy"" state. What bothers me is that the newer fans and the ones who enjoy focusing on "the idea of the characters" and talk about it more than the spiritual complex side of the game, are the ones being antagonized usually by these circles. I have not once seen a headcanony person complain about people talking about canon (unless you count me, an individual who is always subject to these discourses albeit unwillingly but whatever)

There is an underlying reality that as a fandom grows larger, so would these circles and some would birth new subcircles (and one of which is rw shipping, which is always the subject of antagonization in fandom discourse. Funnily enough, not within the shipping subcommunity but by people who dislike and or against shipping, especially with slugcats- yes i still cant believe the shipping community is one of the most peaceful communities in all of ship communities ever and that's very telling).

Then there are the subcircles that have always existed. There are people who care more about the slugcats more than the iterators. There are people who care about the iterators more than the slugcats. There are people who care about creating oc content rather than canon content. It goes on.

Im not saying that if you dislike how rivulet for example is often portrayed as "the adhd energetic roundhouse of wawa" that you are invalid. You absolutely have the right to dislike certain aspects the fandom has.

What I don't like is that some of these circles are antagonized and treated as if they were headless chickens pushing the affinity for liking the characters in their own ways. I don't like that they often assume that we can't like or be engaged with canon and discussions surrounding the spiritual and technical aspects of the game because we were more fond of something else. I really don't like that these types of fans are seen as parasites and that they're portrayed as people who are out to ruin the fandom when in reality they're there to enjoy it in their own way. I dont like that we are being assumed that we hate rain world, the game itself.

We have our very own reasons and our very own ways to enjoy this special piece of media. You have the ability to curate your experiences in the fandom- you have the ability to create your own circles and come with your own ideas for how you feel about the game. The fandom is an entire ecosystem composed of unique individuals and fans with their own unique individual takes. That's really not that hard to fathom.

But nah clearly gay slugcat talk and "edgy aus" will turn the rain world fandom into that similar to undertale and steven universe's fandom.

#so yeah please leave us alone holy shit #this rant sounds aggressive and its imperfect but goddamnit do i have to tap the sign again #its only an issue if you make it out to be an issue #i apologize #thoughts #long #also its inevitable that memes will repeat but what can you do this happens for every single fucking thing ever

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metabolizemotions · 8 days

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705 had the best action sequence in recent seasons. I love callbacks to the skyscraper fire and storage facility fire. Rewatching those scenes also reminded me of how different the show has become. It had more variety, and humor - even in tragedy. It was more character-driven, and had a better focus on team camaraderie and friendships - Dean/Jack, Maya/Andy and Vic/Travis ...

After Dean's passing, they really don't know what to do with Jack. Vic and Travis haven't had many substantial scenes. Maya and Andy were sort of besties in name only. There was a shift to focus more on captaincy race, SFD politics and darker issues w/o the necessary levity for balance. Let alone any breathing space for them to just hang out together. The inter-personal dynamics became more isolated and the characters became more one-dimensional to shoehorn the stories to serve the overall plots.

705 showed 5 women as impactful and effective first responders. Ross commanding the scene as chief; Andy directing the rescue efforts; Maya leading and supporting from her position; Vic taking control of a claustrophobic rescue situation giving first aid n emotional guidance; Carina providing improvised professional medical care for accident victims on site.

I wish there was more follow-thru on the complexities of the characters sprinkled thru out the seasons... that the show had been more about friendships, esp female friendships and not rivalry... that they didn't make it a zero-sum game but allowed both Maya and Andy to thrive cos they are both leaders in their own way.

I wish Maya, Vic and Andy still hung out, even when their friendship evolved and Carina had joined them in their shenanigans before all she thought about was babies... that Carina hadn't just thought about and talked about babies.

I wish they hadn't structured the narrative to have a female chief put down a fellow female firefighter cos of a man.

Rewatching also reminded me of how good, just n meticulous Ripley was as a chief. I can't get behind the way they are framing Ross as the best chief of Seattle, almost like just cos she's a woman. As a woman, she could have been more empathetic towards the sexism women faced n even if she didn't lift them up, at least don't push them down. She toed the line n was part of the system until it didn't serve her. Only then she called out sexism when she was caught red-handed at breaking the rules she claimed was of the upmost importance to uphold no matter what, as a good soldier.

The way Maya broke the rules to save a dying kid, accepted demotion to keep 19 together, but got buried for supporting BLM, was not giving a proper hearing, even when she was a good captain. She got no support from the team and was basically told to suck it up. The way Ross broke the rules to have a sexual relationship with an ex she promoted, but the whole team was in full support of her, cos "love is love", and one had to do what it took to be whole human beings...?

After being biased against Maya, and giving Beckett the benefit of the doubt despite the rumors of his almost-demotions. Ross respected him, give him many chances despite his poor attitude n performance n complaints against him...

In a way, Ross and Sullivan giving Beckett empathy w/o holding him accountable enabled his addiction and spiral. Also, both holding Maya accountable w/o empathy led to her mental and physical breakdown. They should have facilitated Beckett's therapy, not Maya's abuse.

Addiction can be substance-based or behavioral. Beckett was never sober b4 704. Maya's bottle was not the sole reason for his drinking. Drinking was his coping mechanism (n apparently bullying too). Maya coped with physical assertion, like how she pushed herself to her limits under Lane's abuse.

Ultimately what they did or didn't do reflect on who they were as people. They all made mistakes. Only Maya truly owned up and made amends. The way Ross didn't trust Maya when she handed her the photo mirrored Beckett's distrust. I interpreted it as from Ross's perspective, she would have an angle using the photo for her adv if she were Maya, so she questioned if Maya did. Beckett did not trust Maya cos he knew the team did not trust him as captain having not gained respect or trust. In part also maybe due to their guilty conscience of what they did to Maya and ashamed of their own abuse of power? Possibly as subtle subtext?

When Ross wanted both her job and her relationship and was afraid that Sullivan would make her play small cos in her careers men had made her feel small n saw her as a chess piece. Yet, she, together with the men, saw Maya as a chess piece n made her feel so small...

#i know it's about maya's unhealthy obsessive nature #n her priorities shifting #but the way they had ross tell carina happily #that maya was not applying to be captain...#when she took part in breaking her spirit n ambition #instead of having ross have a convo with maya #showed some decency or remorse...#maya was wrong but she wasnt right either #i don't know if it's to be implied #but if only maya's apologies r on screen #i'll assume those r the only apologies going around #not angry rant #but got too long again...#station 19 comments #station 19

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surreal-duck · 2 months

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screw it. midoyuzu sdv au (very long bullet point post warning in advance)

midori inherits his late grandpa's farm. parents' greengrocers shop in the city used to get a good chunk of their crops from there til his passing and the farm was since abandoned

kanata is definitely handling the fishing shop. though he spends more time in the water puka pukaing than actually fishing and manning the store but its fine she manages somehow. when midori gets the fishing rod kanata just straight up pops outta to water to give him the rod and floats away 👍 souma helps out there also

chiaki owns the saloon and bartends even if he does Not drink himself and the only thing that ever plays on tv are tokusatsu shows

as for the others i havent thought abt as much and subject to change. kuro blacksmith with his apprentice tetora maybe . nagisa the museum and library curator (and by extension i think itd be really funny if ibara was a joja executive. mostly to keep an eye on nagisa but also keeping the yzib hostility). eichi is the mayor though keito his vice mayor does most of everything and his boyfriend wataru organizes the town events and such like the valley fair etc!! natsume is the forest wizard w his apprentice sora and tsumugi comes by weekly in that traveling cart thing. madara owns the ranch probably.

everybody else is probably just normal townsfolk, among others hajime and hinata take care of the towns plants n stuff!! tatsumi priest, mayoi is half shadow person and hangs out in the sewer (of which noritama at some point explore together and shinobu befriends and invites to visit the surface). i said i didnt think about this much but thats a lie at this point. mika stays in an atelier in the forest (owned by shu whos in the city but does visit on occassion) to cultivate his own art, still best buds with arashi. jun koga adonis and maybe hiiro part of the adventurers guild, trick5tar are their own lil band!!

some charas r not present most of the time or yet like tori who is off at uni w his longtime academic rival and childhood friend and also now roommate tsukasa. their presence is very important for later trust me. rich family rivalry still remains here (along with military camp Because)

due to tori being at uni and learning independence yuzuru is off of his usual butler work for a while and working in the general store owned by the himemiyas! partly to pass the time partly encouraged to find something new to do outside of his servant duties. he calls and nags at tori regularly to make sure hes fine and such

the request board outside of the store is always a good source for side jobs and one day a request for foraged spring onions is pinned up with a terrifying drawing scribbled on it. midoris head over heels Immediately and she already has a good amount to spare so why not take it

hes probably a week into living in the valley already? while yuzuru had just started working over at the store therefore she wasnt aware of this yuzuru fushimi and finds the very one while looking for who put up the request!! the master artist + fan dynamic goes from then on

other than the usual chitchats and more requests with encouraged atrocious drawings accompanying them, been thinking a good amount of the specific town events that happen through the year!! other misc things are various quests and errands from each of the characters, like helping mika gather cloth or hajime requesting various flowers to brighten up the town

Y1 Spring: egg festival, noritama hanging out, shinobu sweeping the egg hunt; flower dance , as they havent gotten to know each other to well enough to actually dance (just like in the game) (haley please. anyways) its mostly just small talk and maybe including some other side pairings i like djdhhfjdj chiaki with a suspiciously soaked kanata and hina dragging off tetsu

Y1 Summer: acquiring the rusty key from nagisa, noritama sewer exploration and befriending mayoi; luau, nothing special particularly for this one; dance of the moonlight jellies, from here yuzuru and midori get a lot closer playing in the sand and just getting along (a bit like siosai marina)!! probably some background drop for the both of them like takamine gramps' farm and yuzurus actual role as a butler while telling him about tori as well dkhdhdjs. they spot the rare green jellyfish together here too

Y1 Autumn (yeah im calling it autumn sue me): valley fair commences, led by everyones own wataru whos hopping here and there somehow managing three attractions at once. yuzuru obliterates the shooting game; spirits eve, chiaki is desperately being clingy out of fear. just more shenanigans in this one

Y1 Winter: festival of ice!! i kinda want to recreate the snow bunny/cute critter scene in jingle bells here, while the fishing contest isnt even a contest at all except between souma and kanata; feast of the winter star ill probably keep somewhat similar to that in the recent luck fest campaign gift exchange!! midori -> hajime and yuzuru -> kanata at the very least. just good vibes all around. community centre would also be finished by then so while joja closes, ibara ends up assisting at the museum w nagisa instead jshshdh

Y2 Spring: only thing of note is that This flower dance they do get to dance together!! 👍 had to get those hearts up beforehand sjhdhdjshd midori at this point fully realized he really does like yuzuru, but kind of the calm before the summer storms

Y2 Summer: gets a bit (a lot) more complicated from here. yuzuru receives word from tori that he'll be visiting from midsummer til the beginning of autumn, and coincidentally tsukasa is tagging along to meet up with his pen pal and friend sora!! bickering the entire way there and due to circumstances yuzurus hosting tsukasa as well in the end, having to share toris room with him aksjdhjwjs

tori gets introduced to midori. the famed young master of midoris crush and this random farmer boy tori had heard so much about for some reason. midoris rather intimidated in the end but it ends up not Horribly to say the least. didnt quite help how tori had noticed how yuzuru softened up even just a bit when interacting with him. sora as well finally meets tsukasa and "the torikun he's heard so much about through tsukasas letters" 🎉 toris awfully smug and tsukasa tries to salvage it saying he was badmouthing him the whole time (not completely a lie but definitely not completely the truth either. dork)

with toris arrival inevitably comes yuzurus duties as a butler, its plain to see his priorities and out of consideration midori backs off a bit. she thought he'd only have to keep his distance until tori's gone back but little did she know toris main reason for coming not only was to assess how yuzurus faring (well and to meet eichi again) but had planned on bringing yuzuru back with him too to which yuzuru of course though not without feeling a tinge of pain for a reason unknown to him agrees to it

midori hears this from tsukasa, how he didnt think yuzuru would stay in town for much longer. and of course midori ended up pretty devastated at the news but who is he to stop yuzuru from leaving? in the end yuzuru would all but abandon his duties, and after all that same diligence and devotion is what midori had fallen for in the first place. if this short year really is all he'd get to spend with him then at the very least she'll have to make the most of what time they have left

the moonlight jellies come around again, probably one of the last times they both thought they'd be able to spend together and went off with just the two of them. a bit of an awkward air around them, yuzuru comments on how toris been complaining about the sand and other attempts at casual small talk as usual but its painfully obvious theres still that tense atmosphere

midori finally asks if yuzurus really leaving after all, to which she got a yes. midori simply nods and had long since accepted that inevitability, and already resolved that when the time comes to put an end to his feelings and get rejected properly. and so he confesses, and while saying she didnt need yuzuru to give him any proper answer in return, all yuzuru could really say was an "i'm sorry" while finally realizing what that awful ache that has been eating at him the entire time was. even if he did realize he felt the same, no matter how much he wanted to say it back theyve both resigned to the fact that its not something that could or would really ever happen between them

once the jellies have all left, their parting was pretty awkward, with that one goodbye feeling a lot like their last. tori notices something off about yuzuru and that something had probably happened between them, but didnt pay it much thought until a while later

yuzurus made more mistakes than whats normal, miscategorizing the stock or putting salt in his coffee, tori and tsukasa are both shocked and tried to pry it out of him but hes a brick wall that wont budge even a bit. it was only when midori came around for his usual errands and groceries that tori could note how distant and awkward theyre both being and that slight bit of hurt behind yuzurus all perfect mask

after much uncomfortable tension and quietly longing gazes enough is enough amd tori eventually confronts him, that while he did say yuzuru could come back to the city asks him if thats really what he wanted. and of course, all hes ever wanted or rather, knew how to want was to be able to serve tori to the best of his ability and really theres no other reason to stay anyways. even more frustrated now tori brings up midori, if he really wont regret leaving things like that when theyll surely drift apart to the point of no return if he keeps it up

argues that whatever was between him and midori has nothing to do with it!! tori is Mad and says if yuzuru is hiding behind his role to run away from the depths of his own feelings hes being a freaking idiot. eventually tori calms down and while he did want yuzuru to come, never wanted him to tear himself apart so much and that he didnt need to sacrifice his desires or getting close to anyone else for his sake, and how before being a servant yuzuru is his family as well and he just wants him to be happy too. then asks one last time if leaving the valley really what he wanted

yuzuru finally thinks it over again and apologizes first. for letting himself get so caught up and carried away for even daring to get close to someone else (tori glares daggers at him. he stops) and affirms that while he did wish to stay, theres still nothing more important to him than tori and his wellbeing and even should he open up and find more people in his life its not gonna change that fact

toris finally satisfied, reminding him again that even if he were to run off to be with some farmer boy hed still be his butler and that he wishes them the best. then proceeds to grab the bouquet from over the counter, shove it into yuzurus hands and lock him out of the store until he has a proper talk with midori. yuzuru tries to argue but it all goes one ear and out the other with tori he is Not gonna let him back inside until then

eventually gives in and goes looking for midori. he asks all around town and seems to just miss him each time, til eventually it starts pouring and into a pretty hard rain. at this point all he could rly focus on though was wanting to see him so pushes on until running into her taking shelter in the forest. yuzuru is Soaked and disheveled and with the wind and rain the bouquet is stripped down to only a few of its flowers left but he does not care at this point

midori is understandably shocked and tries to dry him off with what he had, lending her jacket and asking what he was doing out in the rain like that. well with yuzuru only being able to think about wanting to meet him had completely ignored the rain and brushes it off saying there was something more important he wanted to say

even knowing that he'd (somewhat) rejected midori before, asks if he could give him a proper response this time if midori would give him another chance. she agrees, yuzuru lets him know he wont be going back to the city after all to midoris surprise. goes on that before he knew it midori had become important to him as well and that he truly does adore him, and if his feelings havent changed would like to court him properly. midoris just processing the entire thing before crying. never thought his feelings would be reciprocated and between sobs hugs him. rain clears up, a nice rainbow arches over and while midori accepts what was left of the bouquet they almost had a moment until yuzuru starts sneezing. cue them running back to the store before he gets sick

while yuzurus taking care of himself it leaves midori and tori in the store together. tori gives her a bit of a shovel talk and if he dared do anything to hurt yuzuru he could have his entire farm shut down. and asks to take care of yuzuru for him too. they do talk a bit and end up getting to know each other a bit more before tori and tsukasas impending departure

once midori leaves, tsukasa, having seen the whole conversation, asks tori if hes really okay with it and while tori cant say hes absolutely happy is glad someone cherishes yuzuru just as much. and even if he is a bit lonely will always have tsukasa anyways half as a tease and half being genuine

Y2 Autumn: tori and tsukasa leave the valley, promising to come back next year!! theres a lot more ive planned out from this point out but i am keeping it to myself for now. or maybe forever it depends 👍 my apologies if youve read this far you deserve a medal thank you for listening to my silly rambling 🏅

theres some other things like mini chara arcs/episodes and such (or stuff like specific "heart events" of a sort) i thought abt but among them is tatsumi and mayoi meeting and [omitted] or tetoras apprenticeship under kuro, or shus visit to observe mikas progress and [omitted], and specifically a certain trks episode also

#if you saw me post this earlier no you did not. misclick before i finished it and had to rewrite it damn #pretty self indulgent if that wasnt obvious enough LMAO kindaa wanted to explore their charas a bit too #duck rants about something #summer went on for awfully long here my apologies #sdv au

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avianii · 2 months

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vaguely irritated every time I hear someone call my life depressing

#got it like 50 times this past week from multiple people and im like #bitch what the fuck #just because i complain about my life all the time doesn't mean i hate it?#i mean have you HEARD me bitch about CoD? AND I STILL PLAY IT #sure maybe if *you* were living like I do maybe you'd be depressed #which #skill issue tbh #get on my level #YOU CANNOT MATCH THE VIBE OF A 2AM CRAM STUDY SESSION #it is simply too powerful #anyways #i apologize for the rant #“go do something fun” well WHAT IF I ENJOY SCReAMING AT MY PHYSICS TEXTBOOK #no genuinely tho #so long as i actually get it in the end lol #the feeling of solving a problem you've been stuck on for hours or being able to just blaze through mcqs is unparalleled #besides maybe when im on like a 20 kill streak in CoD and keep getting to throw attack helicopters at people #i do realize how nerdy this sounds lmfao but yknow what. deal with it (⌐■_■)

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slityclayloam · 9 months

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Sometimes I like looking up dyspraxia on google or tumblr as it makes me feel better seeing others like me, but like everytime I am violently reminded just how much it seeps into my everyday life.

Like I have decent movement, I can't remember the last time I fell over and I rarely bump into things. I can now wear turtle neck jumpers without feeling like I'm being strangled. I can type fast on my laptop and rarely have to look at the keys. I can drive, parallel park and reverse park. I can even now catch stuff thrown at me like 9/10 times! All of this is because I've been working on those skills for 19 years, both by myself and through speech and physiotherapy between the ages of 5 and 9.

But then I still have major issues organising my life, I have problems going to appointments and responding to emails. My main emotion everyday is to feel unemotional and when I do feel a real, strong emotion I have a hard time showing it, often apperaing neutral or like I don't care. I still don't fully get some social concepts. My memory can be really dodgy. My handwriting is quick and spidery as it hurts my hand to write slowly and neatly and I can't use anything but cheap gel pens as anything else will smudge. I still drop food on myself or the table daily. I'm still nervous carrying mugs of tea or coffee around, in fact I actually refuse point blank to carry trays of food in cafes, as I worry so much about dropping them and I find the weight and instability difficult to handle. I get tired easily and find it hard to stand in the kitchen and cook for more than half an hour before I just end up in pain, I can't use can openers and I have a hard time chopping food. I really like doing craft stuff with my hands but I find it so hard to continue with that craft stuff as it always comes out looking horrible and I just don't have the patience to continue.

It is hard living in a constant uphill battle, with everyone around you getting on with their lives and being so "hyper" organised. But I've managed to grow so much over the years and I hope that one day soon I can move some more of the things on my "I can't do or struggle to do right now" list, and move them into my "success" or "I can just in my own way" list.

#sorry this is a rant and a half but idk im proud of myself for doing so well #also idk i know its hard to find stuff outside of 'oh you trip over a lot' as there is so many more aspects to dcd that get looked over #and I just kinda wanna let other people know.- esp those just being diagnosed - that there are other aspects of your life it effects #dyspraxia #actually dyspraxic #long post #dyspraxic #god im only 24 but i sound more and more like an internet 'elder' christ i have matured a lot since 2019 #this feels very saccharine for me but its true i am doing better! and i want to continue to do better in my own neurodiverse way!#also apologies for spelling mistakes im also dyslexic ;)

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like-sands-of-time · 9 months

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Do you think the writers realized that the way Gaius was flipping back and forth between "Merlin you're overreacting/seeing things that aren't there/trying to change the future" and "Merlin the situation is dire/this is definitely what's happening/you alone must do this ~dangerous~ thing"

Combined with the way he is a known sorcerer, not only to the court but to the king, kept like the other magical artifacts for times of injury to the royal family that his magic might be useful

Combined with the way this man picks and chooses when to help magic users escape Camelot unharmed or when to stand by and see them captured/killed

Combined with the way he gaslights the shit out of morgana even after he knows Merlin and Morgana know of her powers

That it All equates to a massively manipulative person????? He's doing everything he can to survive, damn the very real shit going on around him. Oh what's the best course of action for another child of magic born to the same lady Vivienne who's first child you snuck out of camelot? Keep her in the dark, keep her fearful and unaware of her dreams and her powers, but yeah she's Evil now because she chooses to see the good in magic and the evil in the king for killing it (which is just another plot issue but whatever nows not the time).

We can only imagine what Camelot looked like in the days of the dragons and all other magic kind, probably a lot healthier, more vibrant, more prosperous. Nevermind that Gaius got to spend his whole youth with that prosperity, Morgana (and Merlin) surely can't miss something she never had!!!!!!!!!!!

And Merlin! Sure he takes Hunith and Balinor's boy in, because he needs an apprentice, because the circumstances line up, because destiny, whatever the reason. And he cares about Merlin's life enough to sacrifice himself multiple times (only because Merlin is Emrys the god among men, immortal, sworn to serve Arthur the once and future king for all of time) But he does not really help Merlin in the following ten years. The boy who came to Camelot, the opinions he held, the care he had for others, that boy is lost or warped more like through years of Gaius' (and Kilgharrah before they just like changed his personality) careful commentary undermining Merlins beliefs and changing his actions. Then when said actions obviously work out poorly(think, self fulfilling prophecy episodes, episodes where Merlin is convinced to outright lie to Arthur's face, etc) then it's Merlins fault and Gaius is there to comfort him and then they share a funny little moment and everything's fine !!!

Like, did the writers mean to write it like this because ho-ly shit! That's how it reads every single episode. Merlin the young warlock would not have done these things. The boy he was in season one? When confronted with admitting his magic(the thing he was so self conscious of, but so proud of at the same time) or lying to Arthur to his face he would have spoken the truth. Gaius (and Kilgharrah) turned him into a man deceitful manipulative tool, bent on controlling Arthur without ever telling him the truth and letting him make his own mind.

Because that Arthur, the Arthur of season one, would have taken in the knowledge of both Merlin his friend, and morgana his sister, and stood up for them, helped keep them safe, accepted them and their magic. That Arthur clearly loved morgana and Merlin above all else, even though he struggled with saying it, he proved it in his actions. Merlin (through his mentors) TURNs Arthur from magic, when he was willing to save Mordred, willing to sympathize with magic users, to see their worth, to spare them if they did not commit crimes, willing to accept the help of a foreign mage in the caves, and willing to question his father To!! His !! Face!! About the knights code.

You're telling me Merlin would forget about these things, would lie to Arthur that Morgause lied, when he could have just said, hey she showed you your mum, but killing your dad isn't the answer. How FUCKING hard would that have been? This show made Merlin a bad guy, a man against his own kind. that's the real tragedy. Merlin, emrys, would never do these things in season one. He had to be convinced by his mum not to tell Arthur after will died. He was willing to share. The show themselves didn't want it, because it provided comedy(how does Arthur not see!!1!) And angst (how does Arthur not see !?!)

#merlin emrys #gaius #arthur pendragon #morgana pendragon #Kilgharrah #bbc merlin critical #bbc merlin #dude apologies for such a long fkin post i just went rant mode huh

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rants-about-opm · 1 year

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Depression, Coping Methods, and Genos

Right now, I feel like that one gif of Pedro Pascal laughing and then beginning to sob hysterically. Life is kicking my ass.

But speaking of depression, I wanted to do a little thinking about Genos, and his story.

His life has been pretty dark so far. Losing his childhood to the rampaging cyborg, becoming a cyborg himself.

But these aren't really the only big things that have happened to him. They're just the only events he's realized have had an effect on him.

Since then, he's become very closely involved with a man who has trouble reciprocating those emotions. He's been torn apart and rebuilt numerous times, losing bits of his humanity each times as he becomes more and more of a high tech murder machine.

His strength continues to fail him when he needs it most, meanwhile Saitama's time and attention becomes more and more divided on people he hardly sees as worthy of those things. Worst of all, no one seems to understand him, his goals, or his devotion to Saitama. He's often laughed off and ignored by people who are meant to be his peers, and even Saitama has no real interest in Genos' long winded stories.

That brings us around to his coping methods, one of the more prominent of which is his habit of long winded explanations of topics he finds important. His journey to Saitama, Saitama's time travel endeavor, etc. Aside from that, we have his obligatory journaling, his insistence on having a goal to work towards at any given time, and dependence on being able to respond to any given scenario with the calculated and emotionless precision of a machine.

That last one is arguably the most important, because of how it influences the above. Saitama is a very closed off person, and he expects Genos to respect that- which he does!

To his own detriment.

Genos is completely fine with their terms of agreement, but his overly compliant nature means his needs are ultimately ignored. The methods he's developed to express himself and interact with the world in a way that is comfortable for him are seen as nuisances in Saitama's lifestyle.

Ultimately, none of this seems to have much effect on Genos. At least, not in a traditional manner.

But Genos is not traditional, is he? And depression and anxiety can manifest in many forms.

I would argue that Genos' entire relationship with Saitama is one of the few visible effects of the internal havoc at play.

He seeks refuge and guidance under Saitama as an extension of his need to become strong enough to avenge his village. This leads to him suppressing his habits to conform. The problem is that he isn't Saitama, not even close. This is kind of where we see a devolution of Genos' ability to cope, as he descends into a manic state of endless self destructive behavior, enabled by Saitama's baseless encouragement and Kuseno's ability to fix whatever breaks.

Saitama is not a mentally healthy individual. As a result, any attempt to follow in his footsteps is not going to craft a mentally healthy individual. The problem is that both of these two are emotionally constipated. Saitama has lost connection with his emotions and had little desire to reconnect, and Genos works to shed all proof of his humanity.

We've already seen the end result of Saitama reaching his breaking point. I shudder to think of what will happen when Genos inevitably reaches his.

I feel like there's more to say, but this is getting long winded, and my brain is fried. If anybody has any additions or corrections to make though, I'd love to continue this line of thought, and maybe examine some other characters, since everyone in ONE'S work is mentally unstable in some way.

Thanks for reading!

#opm #one punch man #I haven't posted about opm in a while #So take this as an apology of sorts I guess #Don't expect me to be more active though #I am suffering mentally right now #So I dunno send me a hug or something #Validate my midnight ranting #anime #manga #rants #rants about opm #webcomic #saitama #genos #dr kuseno #long post #meta

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eyeballsoup7310 · 11 months

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Oh wait. So, if genloss Is about how being a famous content creator can really cause issues, the theory of Charlie getting assimilated into the ‘Security’ wire monster gets a whole lot more… I don’t know, something.

I don’t do analysis or theories very well so bare with me.

GL!Charlie is a fascinating character cuz he winds up kind of gets hit with the most overall. He’s a demon he’s dissected he’s memory wiped and dead. GL!Demon-Charlie is sort of half of the exaggerated version of the online persona many people view him as— silly and dramatic and sometimes kind of vulgar. GL!Patient-Charlie is sort of the other side version of that persona— still just a funny guy but with a bit more of a tired, loopy sort of humor, if that makes any sense. And then GL!Charlie as he is in the final episode is just meant to be him. A human being. Terrified by the terrifying circumstances. Horrified by the horrors surrounding them. A real person with real emotions and real reactions.

And then there’s the Security. A mass of wires with a TV for a head. The physical embodiment of entertainment. When GL!Charlie falls behind, he gets absorbed into that beast. He dies in the name of interest. He literally gets sucked into the content vortex and it kills him. That’s just really interesting to me

#just talking #genloss #generation loss #genloss spoilers #gl!charlie #long post #eyeball rants #if somehow some way charlie and/or ranboo and/or anyone else who helped write GL!Charlie’s story see this and I #-‘m like totally off #my apologies like I said I’m bad at this

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howinkonvenient · 8 months

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time and time again I'm reminded that so many misinterpret spinel in future (and in general really) and it makes me terribly sad

that girl is critically low on empathy, emotional maturity/regulation, and people skills. she doesn't know how to relate to people and she's often too self centered to really be able to see things from others perspectives. this doesn't make her a bad person but absolutely makes it difficult to be the friend she was made to be

and that never got magically fixed by the time future rolls around! she is still the same person she has always been, changed by her trauma absolutely, but I see so many confuse that change for a certain kind of emotional maturity that she just lacks

she has grown by the time future happens! she's way happier with the diamonds who treat her with the love and respect she so sorely needed that she never really got with pink! because the diamonds are also growing and changing past the people they were before! but she's not at the point where she's ready to process everything that's happened. she's fine and better now (through her own emphasis) despite the fact that that clearly isn't the case

like, I know it gets played for comedy, but what she did to steven and the earth does still eat at her to the point she's willing to blame steven turning into a monster completely on herself (even denying that white had anything to do with it because she feels that bad about it)

and she doesn't give steven any actually helpful advice cause she's just a terrible person for that! and that's fine!! her going through her character arc of choosing to move forward despite feeling like all you can be is a terrible villain because of the pain you've suffered, doesn't magically equip her with the skills to be a good friend lmao. she's still terrible at it actually! and this also isn't a bad thing, she just needs more time and support to develop those skills (things she hasn't acquired in the short time between the movie and future!)

I think the people making these claims often forget that this isn't spinel's story also, it's steven's. steven is far past the point where he wants to spend more time with people he doesn't like for the chance of them doing better (in this case the diamonds and spinel). that isnt to say that they're fixed in the slightest! quite the opposite really! but steven isn't dwelling on them so we don't get to see past the hints here and there in the background

but to say that spinel is fixed? that she's a totally different character and way lamer compared to when she was having a catastrophic meltdown? y'all just weren't paying attention to her

#spinel #long rant im not sorry #i feel so many things about her i love her so much #why must you feel the need to warp her into a different person #i will actually apologize for one thing this is very poorly organized #but what the fuck ever no one is payinf me to do this #it's a labour of love #kon speaks

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