#CW: medical trauma

[mishwanders]

Life update? Because I’ve been somewhat distant here with writing.

So y’all have probably noticed the infrequency with which I’ve been writing the past few months and I’ve got a lot of reasons for it. One, I’ve been put on some medication for my chronic pain which has utterly fucked me sideways and I’ve had to deal with terrible bouts of depression and mood swings until it settles out (hint, it has not). Two, Christmas, New Years, and shitty anniversary. Self explanatory. Three, I found out I have an infection that’s literally eating away at my bone because a previous doctor fucked up a medical procedure and I’m going to have a bone graft/transplant at the end of this month and I’m nervous as hell for it.

Four? The company I work for sold all of us to a separate company, which is whatever, except for the fact that the old company still wants to keep me on as an employee. Essentially I am doing the same job for two companies, which means double the paperwork for me and I have yet to find out if I’ll be getting paid by the old company for the extra work they’re requiring of me or if they’re just going to try and force free labor onto me, which is no bueno and I’m fretting over it as I wait for answers. Aaaannd it’s not like I can just up and leave at the flip of a hat, I’m the only person in my household able to work full time and so I’m the only one paying the bills around here and keeping my family from being homeless. So I can only leave if I have a new job immediately lined up, which I do not.

Needless to say, I’m stretched thinner than I’ve ever been in a long time and I’m hardly keeping sane right now through it all. I wish I had more time to enjoy writing again, I really miss it, but honestly I’m so exhausted from all of these changes life keeps throwing at me and I’m unsure when life is going to let up on me. It really doesn’t feel like it’s going to be any time soon.

Anyway, if you made it this far, I’m sorry for being so out of the loop with the things we enjoy. The only thing that’s keeping me afloat is just the few minutes I can pretend not to exist by reading the fandom stuff people write and rebloging our beloved blorbs.

So yeah. That’s the updated. Idk when I’m going to get to enjoy life again, but maybe someday I will.

#mish rambles #life vent from me #just so moots know what’s going on #cw: mental health #cw: medical trauma

[visitationinstasis]

content warning: medical trauma/gaslighting, ableism, blood, and needles

sanguine vessels

i often recall that which was taken from me

that unimaginable volume of my own vitality

upon stepping into the parlor of that individual who clearly knew everything there was to know,

i felt no dread, no doubt-

clearly, this person was going to fix me

so confident was she, in fact,

that she didn’t even bother gracing me with her own presence-

rather, her subordinates had been the ones delegated to grace me

with their tests, their uncertainties, their

Needles.

was this saint truly so informed if our only encounter had been a phone call?

why do you need this much blood?

can anyone hear me?

i got my reply months later

that which had come to define my every moment, waking or otherwise,

was reduced to insignificance.

the remedies offered to me were worthless,

nothing i hadn’t already attempted

nothing that worked.

will some light jogging and stricter diet really make me able to walk without falling, stop

me from choking on my own air?

I want my blood back.

#zanna's words #cw: medical trauma #cw: medical gaslighting #cw: ableism #cw: blood #cw: needles #this is probably one of my favorite poems ive ever written but PLEASE mind the content warnings it's a lot if ur not prepared for it

[whateverdays-art]

had the WORST sleep paralysis of my life on the 31st of march and i am going to make a series of paintings out of it because there is fuck-all else to do with this!!!!

they'll be presented in no particular order and i might have to go slow with these because holy shit it was Bad(tm) but it's gonna be whatever this turns into now because [incomprehensible screaming]

content warnings for medical trauma/abuse/malpractice, hospitals, blood, death, and maybe unreality (???) as we go.

anyway here's part one! (i'll organize them at the end in the order it happened in the nightmare).

also i'm not Entirely Certain Yet but i may put a blorbo into the paintings because that is less painful to think about than myself in the paintings like. literally gonna let one of them soak up my trauma like a sponge maybe idk yet

#cw: hospital #hospital #blood #cw: blood #cw: medical trauma #medical trauma #this is gonna get DARK please be warned #sleep paralysis #nightmares #post traumatic stress disorder #whateverdaysart #nightmare art #sleep paralysis art #dark art

[oiseau--jaune]

i had a medical emergency erev shabbos & b”h it’s mostly calmed down now & it’s confirmed what i suspected was going on wif me (another autoimmune thing that’s extremely commonly comorbid with all my existing stuff)

so i can at least take a list of stuff and go over what happened with my very good and blessed GP and be like “for your consideration”

but was just thinking about how even though thankful i didn’t end up going to the chronically understaffed A&E on a friday night because

me and/or T absolutely would have ended up wif COVID or flu cos NHS IPC policies are broken since COVID “ended” (newsflash policymakers: it didn’t!)

and how the ambulance triage doctor strongly adviced me to go to urgent out-of-hours GP, and that would have been a mitzve as much as it was for me to call the emergency services too

but that decades of having to interact with the NHS and it’s structures is so traumatic. especially when you are read and categorised as a woman!!! and it literally stopped me from doing a mitzve for my own damn life!!!!!!

& was thinking about how before i got dx with Graves’ disease, when i lived in london, and my heart was going 200bpm when i was buying hairdye in boots

and i had to fly the next day, so me and my flatmate went to urgent care GP, and he told me with his whole chest i was having a panic attack because after waiting hours in the waiting room, my ECG was normal again

and like this is the whole reason i chose not to do a mitzve and go to the out-of-hours doctor. because my HR was 45bpm before i went to sleep and after the pre-fainting on erev shabbos but it was slightly higher again when i woke up and i just could not be arsed having a doctor dismiss me for something transient that is very clearly X thing from my symptoms, but won’t get captured on tests

this is what i mean when i say abolish the NHS but not in a tory way. cos as someone who was a nurse AND has been sick for a long time, no amount of funding will ever dismantle the NHS or is capable of disentangling it from the state. because it is literally *an arm of the state*. and don’t get me started on all the shit i witnessed over my 4 years as a nurse cos christ

#cw: medical trauma #disability stuff #covid stuff #personal #long

[maximumsunshine]

Man. Speaking of cancer trauma. I really was a cancer patient for 6 fucking years. And only 6 years because when they couldn't immediately find the tumor with like 1 CT and some scopes in year 1, they just stopped looking, no matter how much i begged, and just kept on giving me iron infusions and blood transfusions to treat the severe anemia the cancer attached to the outside of my small intestine (where scopes couldn't see it) caused, telling me for years I just didn't make my own blood. This doctor telling me this was a hemotologist (blood) oncologist (cancer) specialist. He just... refused to look for cancer.

Once someone actually LOOKED for cancer last year (so 6 years in) they found it and completely removed it within like 48 hours of me showing up to the ER (of a different system entirely) with a hemoglobin of 4.

I get that in year 1 the tumor was too small to be easily found by a CT scan, i guess. And i get it was on the outside wall amd thus all the cameras shoved through my system top to bottom bottom to top were never going to find it. But i just feel like. It was a lot of effort for a year. And then they just fucking gave up, told me my blood making machine was broken, and asked if I had tried weight loss about it.

Something Something fat female presenting patients not being taken seriously.

#cw: medical trauma #cw: medical abuse #cw: medical neglect #got a whole new crew of followers so y'all don't know the Max lore #so i guess i should tag and warn y'all there is medical abuse found within these walls

[what-yadoking-likes]

[Link to Part 4 here]

At whatever opportunity Hoxton was able, he mentioned the word ‘sepsis’ to whatever medical personnel would listen. He was determined that no possibility be overlooked, no stone left unturned in the medical investigation into what was wrong with Wolf. He laid it on pretty thick, telling anyone and everyone about how he’d never seen Wolf look so pale, or so tired, about how he never took painkillers but had been swallowing them for days, about how severe the pain must be for him to take pain relief in the first place, about how cumulatively he’d had just two hours of sleep the past two days because the pain was so bad, about how the only soothing thing was drinking cold water, about how they’d slept in separate beds like unhappily married couples because he was tossing and turning so much from the pain...

Whenever they were left alone or left in another waiting area, Hoxton ensured he was the most attentive of all the people who had accompanied their loved ones into the ER. If he wasn't holding Wolf in his arms, he was fetching him water or encouraging him to sleep, checking in on him regarding pain. He was a man of action, someone who took a practical approach to fixing problems. If this was all he could physically do to help Wolf then he would do it without question.

It could have all been terribly embarrassing for Wolf. Luckily he seemed grateful for the opportunity to rest, for the soothing physical contact, for Hoxton’s outspokenness on his behalf.

Finally, after blood tests, an ECG to rule out heart complications, a blood pressure exam and extensive interviews with the doctor, the result came back - not sepsis.

Hoxton breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Some of the weight that had been steadily pressing against his heart and lungs and stomach lifted a little. “Thank fuck for that.”

Wolf left with the strongest painkillers money that he could safely take at home, an emergency tooth extraction appointment for the following afternoon, a full course of antibiotics, and otherwise a relatively clean bill of health.

“The wisdom tooth... the... what do you call the long parts?”

“The root?”

“Yeah, the root. The dentist said there’s a nerve wrapped around it. Controls the face. Tooth coming in like this-” Wolf moved his hand sideways, “-so the tooth beside it is fucked. So they’re gonna take out that tooth, see if they can get away without extracting the wisdom tooth and possibly paralysing my face.”

The painkillers they’d been sent away with did the trick. Within twenty minutes of taking them, Wolf could barely feel a thing. No more than five minutes later he had fallen asleep in bed, still fully clothed.

Hoxton joined him. He stared at the hospital-issued wristband, the sticky patches still adhering to Wolf’s skin from the ECG. 

He’s alright. He’s healthy. He’ll be alright.

These were his last thoughts before he too joined Wolf in an afternoon nap.

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #wolf #hoxton #wolfhox #inspired by true events #CW: medical trauma #CW: dentistry

[mkaugust]

Midday couch naps and headaches

Turn to

Early bedtimes and full body pain

Turn to

A few pills lined up on the kitchen counter

Turn to

Morning noon and night

Turn to

Hospital stays and eerily quiet nights

Turn to

How do I show my love

Turn to

How do I say goodbye

Turn to

Turn to

Turn to...

#poetry #my poetry #spilled poetry #original poetry #cw: medical trauma

[torturewound]

[vi-138]

#sth #shadow the hedgehog #wahh been working on this for ages can finally get rid of it yippee #luzki's art #the needles are pretty stylized so i don't think i need a cw #but let me know if i should #i imagine shadow would be apprehensive about going to the doctor #after gerald happened #also because he's convinced hes invincible and hates vulnerability lmao #man don't you love medical malpractice #its so silly to me that ppl on the arc went and made a fully sentient hedgehog #like. if you wanted a living weapon or develop pathogen resistance there are surely easier ways to go about it #i'm just rambling now #i love silly edgy hedgehog and his truckload of trauma

[nebulousmedic]

You failed him.

#emesis blue #scout #medic #tf2 #team fortess 2 #tf2 fanart #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #my art #(tag this however you want! I don't mind) #quickfix #tf2 blunt trauma #mediscout #medicscout #tw blood #cw blood #blood

[thatchronicfeeling]

DISABLED PERSON: I was treated terribly by a medical professional today. OTHER PERSON: Oh. Doctors are under so much pressure, though. I feel sorry for them.

DISABLED PERSON (who has been traumatised multiple times by the medical system): ?!

#cw medical trauma #medical trauma #medical gaslighting #disability #chronic illness #ulcerative colitis #Inflammatory Bowel Disease #myalgic encephalomyelitis #chronic fatigue syndrome #me/cfs #pots #Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome #Postural Tachycardia Syndrome

[neuroticboyfriend]

i know us schizos can be relatively lax about the word schizo... but for people who aren't on the schizophrenia spectrum, please remember... it is a slur, or at the very least, a derogatory term. maybe don't say it (unless we're okay with you calling us it), especially not to separate yourselves from us.

context: i just saw someone say "i'm not a fucking schizo" when talking about their misdiagnosis and resulting trauma. this could have been done without using a slur, especially given how much we also face misdiagnosis and medical/psychiatric trauma. we're in this together, not apart.

#softspoonie #ableist language cw #ableism #sanism #schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizotypal #schizoid #schizospec #schizophrenia spectrum #schizophrenic #mentally ill #medical trauma #neurodivergent #psychiatric abuse #misdiagnosis #psych survivor #survivor #trauma survivor #abuse survivor

[smol-bean-boi13]

Late night sketch dump lesgoooo

(Kind of ?)Reference to what's going on w/ echo

Ok bye

Main masterpost

(btw I haven't forgot about the massive sketch dump I'm lazy and have put it off 😁)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #rottmnt fanart #saverottmnt #unpause rottmnt #rottmnt raph #rottmnt carol #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt echo #rottmnt oc #oc x canon #cw medical #cw implied trauma #oc art #smol's art #i did this is like 2 hours and its midnight #its a bit wild up in here #ok gn

[mamawasatesttube]

i accepted im not finishing the timkon vday fic today and instead launched into yet another new wip instead. i present to you: a snippet of kon vs his deeply repressed medical trauma, featuring core four and what is gonna be some gratuitous kon & clark fambly focus...

The voices are still talking, too loud and too fast to understand. Kon tries to breathe harder, his heart racing—the beeping doesn’t help—and looks around frantically. Where’s the exit? He just came through a door, but he doesn’t know where it went—

A gloved hand settles on his arm, and a cold wipe that smells of alcohol scrubs over his skin. Kon tilts his head to see what’s happening.

A needle glints in the doctor’s other hand. They’re prepping his arm for intravenous injection.

“NO!” He jerks away, terror flaring through his stomach. It’s so poignant it almost drowns out the agony. His TTK flares, too, and the doctor and the needle in their hand fly across the room, far away. A flash of light and a person with chestnut hair catches them, so they’re not hurt.

Good. Kon didn’t mean to hurt anyone. He just—he just wants them to stay away.

He’s safe for the moment. Kon sobs for breath—

“Kon!” The person from before, the one lying and saying it’d be okay, appears again. They grab Kon’s hand and squeeze it. “Kon, she was only trying to help! You’re safe, I swear—”

Kon jerks away. “Don’t—don’t lie to me—” he manages. He needs to get up. He needs to get out of here. He needs… he needs…

When he tries to sit up, pure agony lances through his entire body. It radiates out from his gut and spears up through his chest like lightning, so sharp he can’t breathe and stars sparkle across his blurry vision.

What did they do to him?!

He isn’t safe here, he needs to get out of here! It’s only gonna get worse the longer he stays; they’ll get another doctor, another needle—he has to sit up, he needs to move—

Strong hands clamp onto his shoulders and hold him down. Despite all his strength, they hold him down. Kon cries out, a new wave of ice-cold terror spearing through him. “No! No, no let me go!”

“Cassie, you’re scaring him!” the other voice says, tugging at the new person’s wrists, completely ineffectively. “We need to calm him down, not—"

The new person, Cassie, ignores them. “Kon, listen to me.”

Kon shakes his head, terrified. “No no no no no!”

“Kon, you can’t hurt the doctors. They’re trying to help, okay? You’re badly hurt, and they’re trying to help, but you need to let them do their jobs!”

Another person in surgical scrubs approaches. Kon barely hears what they say over all the roaring in his ears, but it doesn’t matter. He knows how Cadmus operates.

“…you restrain him until we can administer anesthesia?” he overhears. It’s enough. He hyperventilates, sobs for breath, shoves ineffectively at the strong arms holding him down. Desperate, he shoves at Cassie with TTK. Thankfully, that has some effect: she yelps as he shoves himself a few inches off the bed, but then sharp, white-hot pain sears through his entire body, and his vision blacks out.

When he comes to, Cassie is over him again, and—and—

Glowing, golden ropes wind tight around his shoulders, his wrists, his thighs, his legs. He’s completely pinned to the bed. One end of the ropes is wrapped around Cassie’s hands.

He can’t move.

He can’t escape.

No. No no no no this can’t happen again, they’re going to hurt him and he needs to get out but he can’t—he can’t—oh, god, this is happening again and he’s just gonna have to take it, and—and it already hurts so much, he can’t take it—

Kon chokes on another sob. “Please,” he begs. “Please please please please—”

Cassie looks anguished. “I’m sorry, Kon,” she says, but she’s not sorry enough to let him go, so it doesn’t matter. “It’s for your own good, I swear.”

He can’t move. He can’t move and it hurts and he can’t move and it hurts and no matter how hard he struggles, he’s pinned, and it hurts it hurts it hurts so so so bad, and oh, god, he’s trapped. He’s trapped, he can’t—he can’t—

Terrified, Kon does the only thing he can think of.

“SUPERMAN!” he screams. “Kal! Kal-El! Please, please—help me, help me, don’t—don’t let them do this to me again, Kal, Kal—”

There’s a pinch in his arm.

The needle.

Kon falls silent.

It’s… it’s really happening again, isn’t it? No matter how much he fights and screams and pleads. They’re gonna cut him open and hurt him and put him back in the tube. They’re gonna make him just another slab of tissue. An experiment and not a person. It’s happening again. And he can’t stop it. He can’t escape.

He can’t escape.

His chest hurts. A single tear rolls down the side of his face into his hair.

The door slams open. Kon’s gaze snaps over.

“What is going on here?”

Superman stands in the doorway, resplendent in all his glory. He’s an even more welcome sight than the sun, and even though Kon can’t move thanks to the golden ropes, he whimpers, fingers twitching as he yearns to reach for him.

He looks furious.

#rimi writes #its like completely unedited so far bc i only edit once im done with a complete draft but hey. my writing process! #also i just have Feelings about kon looking to clark for safety when he feels helpless. thats superman. he saves everyone. #theyre family... clark is kons idol and hero and he admires him so much... and kons just clark's lil guy... #kon #clark #injury cw #medical trauma cw

[melanodis]

what are you even supposed to do? when you can't remember your own name?

#hooooohhh boy #five nights at freddy's #fnaf oc #ffps #merlot anderson #art.psd #cw eyestrain #cw medical trauma #cw eye contact #certificate of insanity #fnaf 6

[wri0thesley]

cw: dottore, yandere, human experimentation

dottore does not have favourites. a test subject is a test subject, and he has no shortage of those; a never ending conveyer belt of human bodies that come through his laboratory, that he uses until he can no longer squeeze any useful information from them. it is easier not to even regard them as people; merely flesh, merely fodder.

but when one of his clones had brought you in . . .

with those wide frightened eyes, with the shape of your body not quite hidden beneath the thin medical gown, with words spilling out of your mouth cleverer than he could remember mere fodder ever being . . . well, to use you on just any experiment would have been a terrible waste. not when you were so nice to look at and, too afraid of silence to let it linger on, kept asking him questions as if you cared.

so he takes your blood samples and your tissue samples, your vitals - gives you medicines and injections until every test he runs has perfect results. jerks off, even, imagining what you’d be like if he used you in his ruin machine experiments, if he decided to use you in clinical trials for his cures, thinking about you hooked up to machinery and whimpering and tossing and turning and begging. when you ask him a question with your voice all a-tremble, he takes great relish in explaining everything to you in detail.

in letting his fingers run over your flesh as he wonders aloud about all of the things he could do to you. in letting his fingers touch you bare when he ought to be wearing gloves; in using both a scalpel on you to open a wound, or sometimes even his teeth. in keeping you neatly sequestered in your own little room, with an operating table only for you, with leather straps lined with silk to keep you restrained so you don’t hurt yourself.

most of those under the doctor’s care expire in twenty four hours. that you have been his for months is merely testament to how . . . fascinating you are. no, no. a test subject is a test subject, and dottore tells himself - as he presses a cold kiss to your sweat-slicked forehead, when you have passed into exhaustion and drug-fuelled oblivion, when his fingers run over your bare skin and he imagines carving his name into you, leaving a part of himself inside you lodged in your ribcage or your spine, drilling into your pretty head until all you can think about is him - he does not have favourites.

#nat.txt #genshin impact posting #yandere for ts #concept posting #human experimentation #medical trauma #dottore warning !! #gore cw