neuroticboyfriend

[neuroticboyfriend]

I really don't know where else i could go with this so I'm sorry but is it weird that a lot of my friends 20-21 followed my private/nsfw account as soon as i turned 18. I have known them since i was 14 and I let them because i didnt want to exclude them but they wouldn't let me follow theirs.

We had an incident a few years back with a mutual friend who was my age accusing them of weird behaviour but yea idk. It was kind of out of nowhere and a lot of what they brought up were jokes. But yea sorry you can delete this if you want but I don't feel safe posting on reddit and I don't rly have any friends that don't also know them. But don't answer if u don't want to.

Yea that's incredibly strange and offputting of them. If you had that NSFW account since before you turned 18, I would honestly recommend you delete it and make a new one. If you've posted things that are important to you on there (like personal ramblings and such), I believe you can download the HTML file for that post to save it.

But otherwise, I want you to know you are well within your right to block them. No explanation needed. The fact you've just turned 18 and they're following you without letting you follow them, alongside what a mutual said in the past... That is total creep behavior. I would not trust these people in any way shape or form.

And for you/anyone reading this: turning 18 does not exempt you from being groomed or sexually abused online. Grooming is a tactic abusers use to gain trust/reduce the victims agency; it can be applied to anyone of any age. Stay safe my dears, and remember you don't have to deal with this alone.

#asks #anon #sa tw

[neuroticboyfriend]

Affirmations for when all seems lost.

#softspoonie #mental health #mentally ill #recovery #trauma recovery #addiction recovery #mental health positivity #positivity #positive affirmation #positive affirmations #affirmation #self care #self worth #disabled #disability #disabled community #depression #ptsd #survivor #trauma survivor #poll #polls #tumblr poll #take what you need #love #self love #one day at a time #keep it simple

[neuroticboyfriend]

I feel guilty sometimes when I visit doctors. Largely because of money but also because most doctors don't seem to like me much, or at least treat me badly and some part of my brain still believes that must be my fault.

After all, I've been going to doctors for years. How is it so many of them treat me like shit? How is it I am fighting for bare minimum treatment every time I see them? I guess part of me thinks since I'm the one involved every time, it has to be my fault.

I've been told frequently by others that I'm off-putting, strange, a pain to talk to-Hell, I had a doctor suggest I was "too dumb" to be in his office. It wouldn't greatly surprise me if there was something about me that just put all of these people off.

But I don't really think that's it anymore. I think neglect and abuse from doctors is actually far more common than people think. I think tons of people dislike people who need accommodations because of their disabilities, even (and some times especially) medical professionals. I think people look at "unsolved medical issues" and immediately jump to liar, and then mentally ill and let's just say that train of thought doesn't have good intentions.

I think I'm visibly Black and gender-weird, which also goes over badly. But I also think that no matter any of these things, even if I was faking, that those medical professionals made the choice to treat me like shit. And that's on them. It just takes time to actually accept that.

[neuroticboyfriend]

you matter, even if you don’t see that right now

[neuroticboyfriend]

you deserve someone who is sure of their feelings for you, who confidently returns your love

[neuroticboyfriend]

i am so scared of people and i just want to retreat into a ball and cry

#julian rants #vent #respite posting

[neuroticboyfriend]

i wanna say fuck you to anyone who shame disabled, chronically ill & neurodivergent people, especially homebound folks, for "spending too much time on their phone/on the internet/etc." when it's the only (Somewhat) accessible way for them to experience the world. many people don't get to get out much even if they want to because of their disabilities. shaming someone for trying to connect with the world, make friends and engage with hobbies in ways that are accessible to them is beyond cruel and unnecessary

[neuroticboyfriend]

Hey guys, I have a priority fundraiser rotation for you:

Fadi & Shahed: 2,044 USD out of 62.5k

Sana'a & Sujood: 12,016 £ out of 50k

Mahmoud Qassas: 9,994$ out of 200k

Ezzideen Shehab: 10,296€ out of 32.5k.

Hussam Aburamadan: 16,374€ out of 148k.

Hamdi Hijazi: 1,511$ out of 25k.

Suheir Hojok: 16,897 AUD out of 70k.

Madleen Abu Jayyab: 29,005$ out of 70k.

Hani Al-Hajjar: 1,783€ out of 50k.

I have personally verified every one of these campaigns listed here.

As Mona's campaign nears completion I'm preparing for you this list so we can show these families the same amazing and unbelievable support we showed Mona and her family. The invasion of Rafah grows nearer everyday. Please understand the urgency of this campaign.

Version date: April 26th 2024.

[neuroticboyfriend]

I think the most terrifying part of any relationship is the ongoing awareness that you are going to have to trust someone when they appear to like or love you. There is no objective way to check your status with someone, no app that will say "they like you overall but are mad at you right now, specifically for x or y or a vague z thing that you didn't even clock when it was happening. But! if you send them a nice card and small gift, they will forget about it and return to base level affection"

instead, you have to just....keep having a relationship with that person, doing big and small things with or for them, and praying that you will both be brave and evolved enough to raise x/y/z as an issue if it genuinely is problem.

Mortifying ordeal of being known, down to your very gluons, and disliked.

[neuroticboyfriend]

“What makes a poem a poem, finally, is that it is unparaphrasable. There is no other way to say exactly this; it exists only in its own body of language, only in these words. I may try to explain it or represent it in other terms, but then some element of its life will always be missing. It’s the same with painting. All I can say of still life must finally fall short; I may inventory, weigh, suggest, but I cannot circumscribe; some element of mystery will always be left out. What is missing is, precisely, its poetry.”

— Mark Doty, from Still Life With Oysters and Lemon

[neuroticboyfriend]

I hate when I meet people with the same condition as me and they say "that's not a disability". like okay it's great that it doesn't disable you, but it greatly disables me and you don't get to determine what I label myself

[neuroticboyfriend]

clocking in for another day at the i dont wanna factory

[neuroticboyfriend]

unsung benefit i think a lot of ppl are sleeping on with using the public library is that i think its a great replacement for the dopamine hit some ppl get from online shopping. it kind of fills that niche of reserving something that you then get to anticipate the arrival of and enjoy when it arrives, but without like, the waste and the money.

[neuroticboyfriend]

making the most benign moments the signposts by which i'll live my life. keep going till i see a toddler running through the supermarket. keep going until i catch dew on the grass. keep going until the cherry blossoms start heaping all over the cars parked by the verge. keep going until i see a robin by the train tracks. keep going until i get a warm apple crumble. keep going till i get to admire the cashier's eye makeup. keep going till the bus driver says "thanks, lovey". keep going till i hear rain in the morning. keep going till i peel a perfect boiled egg. keep going till i press a warm mug of tea to my cheek........keep going until until until until until until

[neuroticboyfriend]

As someone who grew up with "I'm not going to praise you for doing what's expected of you; that's not being good, that's doing the bare minimum" I want to encourage you to celebrate every little thing you can. Everything that takes energy and effort should be appreciated and you're allowed to be happy about trying.

[neuroticboyfriend]

[neuroticboyfriend]

“There are two ways to be happy: change the situation, or change your mindset towards it”

— Unknown