#Chapter 21 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

damn-stark · 8 months

Text

Chapter 21 The Eldest v. the youngest

Chapter 21 of Moonlight

A/N- *DRUM ROLL* ITS HERE

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, SOME FLUFF, violence!, blood! Death! SPOILERS for future events of HOTD!!!!

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- After 1x09, events based off of Fire and Blood

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

Fear turned to anger. And anger to revenge.

Ever since Lucerys died all you’ve wanted to do was lay in bed and just let time pass, you don’t want to move eat, or speak. But you’ve been at war since Lucerys died, there’s been no time to rest or to grieve. You’ve faltered since your grandmother and Jacaerys died, but you haven’t had time to actually grieve now. So now, grieving is such a foreign concept. Now grief is just rage and a need for violence.

Which isn’t the best outcome when trying to gain allies.

“We’re going to have to ask for the Princess to leave her weapons with us,” a Riverrun guard demands. He demands you.

“Like hell, I am,” you sneer. Ser Tully will have to welcome me as a warrior—”

“Y/N,” Addam cuts you off and grabs your arm. “Just leave it,” he whispers sharply.

You snap your eyes at him and glare at him. “You want me to walk in there defenseless?” You ask without caring to whisper. “We aren’t inside the castle walls, is this how you treat your princess?” You throw out at the guards. “By making them stand past your bloody gate?”

“We’re here for aide,” Addam snaps back. “Not to declare war. Leave it or I will go in without you.”

You challenge his glare and clench your jaw. He’s right of course, you admit it, but what if you’re betrayed? Alys did so. After all, it was your husband—late husband who’s been burning their kingdom, what if they want revenge?

“Y/n,” Addam says through gritted teeth. “Trust me and leave it.”

He’s right, he is. Plus he's the only one you have right now. Your mother…well she probably hates you now, leaving after disagreeing doesn’t really look good for you. Cregan is far, your brothers are dead, so Addam is the only one you have at this very moment.

“Fine,” you huff out and take your bow off before you unhook your arrow pouch from behind you to hand it to the guard.

“Very well,” the other guard next to him says and bows his head. “Follow me.”

Addam and you share a passing look before you walk ahead first to follow the guards inside the white castle walls. You can't say you aren't impressed, because you do find this castle quite charming, the river, and the trees that are now dull due to the winter weather add to its charm. The castle walls are quite tall, and still very white, as if it were the first day built.

When you’re inside the main building, the tall windows light every inch of the corridor so it isn’t dull or bleak. You can see the delicate designs painted on the walls and grow quite impressed, you always thought Riverrun would be muddy and quaint due to where it is, but it’s not.

Once you reach the main hall though all those lighthearted feelings vanish when you see Ser Elmo Tully.

Riverrun isn’t the first house you visit, since Addam found you, he only gave you a day to rest, he said he’d give you a full moon's cycle but there was much to do, and wars to win, so he gave you a day. After that, you flew first and foremost to House Frey to pay a visit to Lady Sabitha Frey, the woman who wanted to take Harrenhal after Aemond left, and who wanted to capture you or kill you.

Her face went pale when she saw you walk in her main hall. And considering her actions and your counterattacks she didn’t argue against your plea, she feared what you’d do if she declined so she decided to join along with her father and his brothers of House Vypren. Which was the smartest choice.

You then went to Raventree, and the twelve-year-old Lord didn’t hesitate to accept and join your march. Now you’re here, at Riverrun. Addam and you still want to ask other Lords with smaller houses, but you advised him to gain the support of their Liege Lord first, which will convince them without the need to bargain so much. So you’re here now, striding inside the main hall alongside Addam

“Princess Y/N of House Velaryon! And Ser Addam of Hull of House Velaryon.”

The knight looks between Addam and you, but lastly drops his gaze on you and watches you hard before he bows his head. “Princess,” he greets. “I heard of the loss of your husband, my condolences.”

You scoff and shake your head. “Don’t. I know you’re relieved he’s dead—”

“Y/N,” Addam scolds you before he steps forward and bows his head. “I apologize for her…we’ve been flying for sometime now.”

You scoff. “Don’t apologize for me,” you counter and step past him to continue. “I know what Aemond did. Which is why I know you aren’t sorry he’s dead…nor do I want you to be. So don’t give me your condolences, I alone will grieve for him. And that’s okay.”

Ser Tully's gaze stays on you for a moment before he walks to a Tully High seat. “Very well then,” he says and sits down. “What do you want from me? It’s not every day we get a visit from not one but two Dragonriders.”

“We wish to speak to you, Ser Tully,” Addam interjects. “If it’s true you speak on behalf of Lord Grover?”

Ser Tully clasps his hands over his lap and nods. “Aye, I do.” He says. “My grandfather is ill and bedridden. I act as Lord Regent until he gets better and can sit here himself.”

You hum softly and share a knowing look with Addam before you take one last step forward to speak of your need right away. “Very well then, and forgive me for my bluntness. Today we’re here on behalf of Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, to ask Riverrun for aid in our battle against Daeron and the traitors that dine with him at Tumbleton. They’ve gone too long unchecked and allowed to rule like savages. It’s time we take revenge on their treason against the crown and the Queen.” You direct proudly and without an ounce of falter.

You’ve gone on playing in the shadows, acting like someone you’re not to get what you want. Aemond is dead, so there’s no holding back, there’s no need to hide your intentions. From now you will face everyone with who you really are, a princess and warrior hidden too long in the dark.

“Unless you support the Usurper? Then I can’t promise our Dragonfire won’t turn here first.”

Ser Tully glances at Addam to see his reaction to your comment, thinking you’ve stepped out of line, but Addam simply lifts his chin and silently supports your threat. So Ser Tully sighs and leans forward in his seat. “I would be mad to support the Greens after what the Kinslayer has done to my lands,” Ser Tully says in a booming voice. “He left disaster and tragedy, trauma to innocents who had no fight in this war. I, and House Tully won’t stand for that. We will fight for what’s right like we should have done at the start of this war when the Queen asked for our alliances.”

You blink in surprise at his quick agreement and share a quick proud look with Addam.

“Besides,” Ser Tully chuckles. “Two dragons in one’s courtyard does wonders to resolve one’s doubts.”

You show off your smirk and feel a weight lift off your shoulders.

“We aren’t a big house,” Ser Tully adds. “But we will fight with what we do have.” He stands up and walks down to stand before Addam and you. “I will be honored to fight alongside you Ser Addam of Hull, and you, Princess.”

“And will Lord Grover object?” Addam makes sure to ask. “It is he who chose not to choose a side in the first place.”

Ser Tully scoffs. “I am Regent, aren’t I?”

Addam and you share a small smile before you offer Ser Tully a thankful nod.

“The Queen, Ser Addam, and I are grateful,” you share sweetly.

Ser Tully bows his head and then steps aside. “Now please, rest for the night here. It would be my honor. And it gives me time to prepare to join your march.”

Without the need to argue his invitation Addam and you gladly accept, and it is once you’re alone with your half-brother that you bring up the most notable thing that led to this quick arrangement.

“He was scared.”

Addam nods as he smiles. “Hell yeah, he was. Especially after you threatened to burn this place.”

You smirk and shrug nonchalantly. “We need his army, and there’s nothing that motivates someone more than the threat of dragonfire.”

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

“If I enter at opposite ends of the battlefield, that will catch them off guard from both sides,” you share your thoughts for this anticipating battle you’re already itching to start.

But you need to be patient, wait for the right opening, and you need to plan better than your enemies would.

It has been almost a month already though, how much more planning can you do?

Then again traveling across the Riverlands has been difficult, part of it is burnt thanks to Aemond, and when you did get lords to join, they needed time to gather their soldiers spread across their towns and lands.

You’re just…impatient and angry all the time though. Lately, you haven’t been able to find much patience or kindness for anyone. Albeit it’s good Addam is by your side, if it was just you alone you would have gone to meet Daeron and the traitors on the field already out of a burst of anger that hits you in waves, stronger and stronger each time. Threatening to take you under each time.

But you only don’t drown because you have a weight holding you up.

You’re thankful for that.

“But you’ll come across the town,” Lady Sabita Frey points.

You put your hands on the table and shrug her off. “It doesn’t matter, it’s not like the town is standing up anyway. Plus it’s invaded by Greens, everyone that lived there is gone because of them…it’s time to purify the town.”

“There are still workers,” she argues, making you lift your gaze to look at her standing to the side. “People who are stuck because they don’t have the money to go anywhere, or have the strength to fight back. We can’t just have them fall victim to our fury. We want to liberate Tumbleton not eliminate it off our maps.”

You clench your fists and slowly narrow your gaze on her. “You care for the innocent now?” You snap back. “What about when you invaded Harrenhal with me and my newborn children still in it? Did you care then? You wanted to imprison me and take them captive. You wanted them to be victims of your thirst for power.”

Lady Frey swallows thickly and stays quiet now. She tries to look for help amongst the other lords and ladies, but everyone around the strategy table is beginning to learn not to argue back.

“We will try not to lay fire on the town, just the castle,” Addam tries to remedy Lady Frey's worry. “But that’s where the traitors and enemy lords will be at night, we need to get rid of them, their resources, and their men. We will try to spare as much as we can but we can’t be lax my Lady.”

He’s always the one to fix things or find a better option that you have chosen to completely abandon.

“We will surround the enemy encampment that rests outside the town walls by all sides,” Ser Tully shares and waves place markers around the makeshift tent in front of the line that’s supposed to represent a wall. “We may not be a big army but we will work our way in and overpower them.”

“When everyone works their way in,” you interject menacingly. “You leave Daeron Targaryen for me. I will land in the field shortly after I enter the battle.”

“How will we know where he’ll be?” Ser Vypren cuts in. “For all we know he’s inside the town walls, or he can even blend in with the rest.”

You stand up straight up and share what you know—or what you think. “Prince Daeron will most likely have the bigger tent. And it’s doubtful he’ll mix with the likes of the Traitors, they only work together for convenience not want. He’ll be outside the walls with his men. I will find him and kill him myself.”

“Then we’ll send in a squadron of men,” Ser Tully says. “They’ll keep an eye out for you, make sure someone doesn’t try to be too ambitious, nor that Daeron gets the upper hand.”

You’ll like more than anything to be cocky and say you’ll win, but you know battle, and you’ve been taught better. “All right,” you agree hesitantly. “But Astraea will accompany me from above and below, so if there is a sign of danger they may go their own way to fend for themselves.”

“It would be an honor to die for you princess,” Lord Blackwood cuts with no hesitation, there’s only pride in his voice and look.

You can’t help but smile at him…he reminds you of Joffrey. Of Lucerys too. It’s such a sense of relief in a tent full of strangers.

“Thank you, Lord Blackwood,” you retort sweetly. “And it’s an honor fighting alongside you.”

Said boy offers you a small but tight smile as he bows his head.

“Now to discuss—” Ser Elmo Tully cuts off himself off as a guard walks in with a scroll in hand.

“Forgive my intrusion,” the guard says as he bows. “But I have a raven from the Queen for princess y/n.”

A raven from your mother? It’s been so long since you’ve heard any news from her or King's Landing. Since you’ve been moving all around the Riverlands, news from the capitol has yet to find you. You did write to your mother, but even then that was only twice.

You left after she said you couldn’t, what’s worse of all you came to Aemond’s side. Regardless if you weren’t on his side, you still came to him, the enemy. So if she didn’t hate you before she does now—Or at least that’s what you kept thinking.

Perhaps it’s not true. You’re all each other have. And she is taking care of your children. So maybe you’re just doubting her love for you.

“Thank you,” you direct at the guard as you take the scroll. You then proceed to walk to the far corner of the tent to read the scroll while the others continue to discuss war.

‘Y/N,

I write with urgency. I apologize for not writing sooner, the days have just overwhelmed me, and with you not at a stable location I can’t tolerate other people possibly finding my letters—

Her letters are neat but scribbled fast. Bringing truth to her first four words.

—I have so much to say to you, but no time, so it will have to wait for when we see each other again. As for now, you must know…Princess Helaena is dead—

You gasp and feel your eyes widen in shock.

Helaena?

Ever since you left Harrenhal the first time you hardly took time out of your day to visit her, even when you did find time, when you saw her she hardly saw you. She either didn’t speak or mumbled to herself, she didn’t have coherent conversations with you like before, so your visits became less and less. Even then though, she was still your aunt, she was sweet at that, besides Aemond, out of all her siblings she’s one that you did love. So hearing this…hurts.

—with her death, the Shepard took advantage of the people’s grief and turned the city against me and our dragons. He and his cult stormed into the dragon pit and killed all the dragons that rested within, up to Dreamfyre and down to the hatchlings—

Slowly your body stiffens at the words you keeping reading. At all you missed because you were away.

—Out of anger and fueled by revenge Joffrey snuck out on Syrax to try and save who he could in the pit, but Syrax was not his to mount. Your brother is dead y/n. And now with the city at an uproar, I have fled with Aegon and my grandkids. I don’t know exactly where you are or what it is you’re doing in my honor, but I don’t want to be apart from you, so when you are done come to Dun Fort, that’s where I’ll be. We will return to Dragonstone from there and plan from there.

Your mother, The Queen.’

No.

No…

Everything around you; burning light, that herbal incense scent, background voices, and the walls around you suddenly cease to exist. That wave that grew came crashing over you, it yanked at your feet and choked you by the throat. Whatever light that reflected inside the murky water disappears, leaving you in darkness.

A familiar and burning feeling begins to fill your head, consuming you entirely, and taking over any rational thought.

You tried to fight through it, and find some sense of clarity, but thoughts, memories and guilt filled your head.

How can a mob of civilians kill not one, but all of the dragons? You knew of the growing crowds, but what they did never crossed your mind. Now all the dragons, your soulmates, are gone from this earth leaving only a few, and taking with them your brother; Joffrey.

He was just a little boy, innocent, and angry because of this war and what it took from him. From your mother, from you. He’s gone before you could even know him because of this war…

And your mother? The Queen, the one on the Iron Throne is fleeing with Aegon, and your children at her side. All because you left her side, because of her fear of what Daeron and the traitors would do. They pushed her away.

But…if those traitors didn’t defect from your mother in the first place she would still be home, Joffrey wouldn’t be dead. It all falls to them.

It’s all their fault. It’s their fault!

No more holding back! No more planning!

You’ll show them what it really means to be a dragon warrior, what fire and blood really means. You’ll show the Greens what your Targaryen house words means. You’ll show them all.

“We march today,” you cut in and turn around to storm back to the table. “There’s no more wasting time. We march today. We kill them all tonight.”

“But—”

“No,” you sneer and look up at Ser Tully. “We’ve planned for long enough, I’m done. We march today! Kill them all by the time the sun rises.”

“Y/N,” Addam interjects.

You snap your head towards him and shake your head with your eyes full of tears. “No. I’m done, I’m done losing people. I’m done being betrayed. It’s all going to end.”

“What’s wrong?” He asks and grabs your shoulder as he watches the tears roll down your cheeks, and your hands tremble. “Y/N?”

Besides drowning? Besides feeling a blinding rage consume every thought in your mind like a disease?

Nothing. There’s nothing but rage where there should be grief and sorrow for what you lost.

“Addam,” you mutter. “I will kill them all. Every. Single. One of them. She’s gone because of them! Because they betray the Queen!” You shake your head and face the Lord, Ladies, and knights gathered around the war table. “Daeron Targaryen's brother destroyed all of your lands and homes. He killed your friends and neighbors. Daeron Targaryen took Tumbleton, he sacked towns, killed innocent people.”

All those concerned and shocked looks that they gave you upon hearing your declaration is slowly dying down, and in its place hardened glares are taking shape. While that anger that consumes away your thoughts is only growing more fierce.

“Daeron Targaryens betray your Queen,” you continue to exclaim. “Those traitors betray your Queen and are acting like gods, how can we waste more time by sparing them?! Why should we let Daeron Targaryen live another day and let the Greens think they have the upper hand? We will fight today for revenge on your princes, on your family, friends and lands. We will fight today for glory and for the Queen!”

“For the Queen!”

“For the Queen!” Everyone chants, only feeding into your thirst for revenge and pushing away that sorrow and grief. And filling you with dangerous pride and determination.

Albeit there is one person who reached through the murky waters that drowned you the moment you stepped out of that tent. He pulled you out and saved you from drowning; Addam.

“What’s wrong? What was on that Raven?” He asks as he finally manages to pull you away from the crowd.

You slowly let out a breath of air and blink as if you’re seeing for the first time. You don’t answer him though, you give him the Raven scroll and finally take note of how bad your hand is shaking.

Addam watches your hand and grabs it as he takes the scroll with his other hand.

You can’t say he made your rage disappear, but you aren’t drowning anymore thanks to him.

“We can’t tell them,” you interject while Addam reads the scroll. “They won’t want to fight if they know.”

Addam remains queit as he finshes reading. Once he’s done he lowers the scroll and faces you with preplixity in his eyes.

“You’re right,” he says. “We’ll tell them after.”

“It’s all my fault,” you mutter with anger. “I shouldn’t have left, I should have stayed and fixed everything from there. Now my brother is dead, and my mother, my children…they’re running for their lives because of me!” You point at your chest and feel tears escape from your eyes.

“I’ve always been like this,” you continue to say through your frustration. “I let my emotions lead me. Every single time…with Cregan, with Daemon, when I left my mother's side the first time!” You turn around and look around desperately as you try to find something to hit, something to use as an output. Yet there’s nothing nearby so you fall to your knees and sob.

“I’m selfish, and I’m a terrible daughter, I was a horrible wife and a terrible mother, I—”

“Y/N,” Addam cuts you off and falls on his knees beside you to grab your shoulder and turn you to face him. “Stop. None of it is your fault, and what you did is in the past, you can’t take it back. All you can do is learn from those mistakes and try your best to make up for them.” He grabs both of your shoulders and pulls you closer to him. “You need to have a strong mind now, do you understand? Strong mind to win this battle and help your mother and children. Strong mind.” He says before he taps your chest with his fist. “I will follow you in this war, say you’ll follow me and we will win together.”

Your bottom lip trembles and happy tears roll from your eyes. The water that was around your throat clears and it feels like you can breathe again, like you can see. And all you do see is him. Your brother.

“I will follow you to the ends of this world, Addam,” you assure him and tap his own chest. “I will.”

Said man’s lips tug to a smile and he cups the side of your head this time. “Good. Now let’s get ready for this battle.”

You smirk and nod. “Together,” you mutter.

“Together,” he assures you.

——

*LATER THAT NIGHT*

Astraea’s scales were purple, at night under a star-littered sky her scales gleamed like glittering diamonds. When the sky is polluted by clouds, leaving the night casted in utter darkness she blends with the shadows.

It's why now as you fly over the dragons resting outside of Tumbleton's walls they don’t spot her. It’s why the wandering guards posted on the back walls don’t catch sight of her. It’s why all anyone knows down in the castle is the burning rage of her furious flames before she makes herself known with a booming roar that shakes the houses below.

“Dragon!” You hear scattered shouts below. “Dragon!”

You smirk and lift your gaze to look past the walls in the distance.

“Ring the bells! Ring the bells! Awake the army!”

Astraea calls out, but before anyone can alert any army, Seasmoke announces himself by letting out a chilling roar before he rains fire down on those sleeping men in their war tents.

The people that were below you go quiet now at the sight of the two rageful dragons, at the sound of their flames cracking down on the ground. When they think that's all there is, blood-curdling screams fill the field along with the battle cries from your men, announcing that you didn’t come alone. And filling every person at the opposite sides of this battle with dread

“The Blacks are here! We’re under attack!”

“Dragons!” They shout desperately.

Everyone scrambles to act, their shouts are carried out, and more men from inside the castle get sent out to act, but it’s too late. You did what you wanted, you all caught them off guard and gained the upper hand.

So now? Now to get rid of the traitors and Daeron Targaryen. If it’s the last thing you do.

You won’t leave until at least Daeron is dead so you can show or deliver his head to his mother as payback for everything she did to torment your mother, for everything she did for the Greens, and for stealing your mother's crown.

However, before you can go find him now that Astraea rained down one more round of fire on the castle following everyone’s entrance, you instead slow down as you fly over the town.

You shouldn’t, you should keep going until you fly past the gate and find Daeron in the fiery field below, but the warning bells below continue to ring. They continue to warn the people below, the people that still live in the castle. The bells continue to ring and you get reminded of what you lost because of the Greens, because of this war. You get reminded of poor young Joffrey, you see Aemond again, you remember Alys betrayal, you remember Lucerys death, and see Jacaerys die in your arms once more just as clearly as when it happened. You remember what your mother said in her letter and imagine them: your mother, brother, and children full of fear after fleeing their home.

You see it all and nothing stops you from clenching your hands around your dragons back spines you need to hold onto. You slowly begin to glare daggers to the field below full of Green army, you feel that anger blind you and fill you with purpose.

Revenge.

“Dracarys,” you command Astraea, and without a second of a doubt all you see once more is the bright majestic dragon fire.

Her flames consume everything in her path below. People running to the battlefield, servants and helpers, stables, storages. Astraea circles around and rains fire down on houses left untouched in the burning’s before, long-standing markets, new markets. People try to run away but with a flap of her wings, her flames capture them too.

You should feel remorse watching everyone burn within seconds, you should regret pressing on, but all you feel is pride. You can’t say it takes away the pain, but it helps ease your agonizing heart.

It’s why you can’t bring yourself to stop until it looks like the town is made of dragon fire. The castle still stands, but even if the traitors live they won’t for a while longer. But you’ll handle them after Daeron.

Your uncle is first, so without wasting another minute you nudge Astraea’s back spines to the side. She swings around and flies past the town.

Addam is burning away the field and the soldiers running away and into battle, but since your people are now fighting below too he’s careful, leaving you a clearish view of the field.

Tessarion still hasn’t joined the battle, she's not flying over here alone, which means her rider is still somewhere below. As to where? You search and examine the busy field. Astraea flies low to the ground and slow.

You approach where you think he’ll be, and though the screens of smoke make things opaque you then spot the bigger tent that can only belong to a prince.

He can actually be fighting somewhere else, but you’ll start your search here.

Thus you nudge one of Astraea’s backspines to have her turn around. However, it’s as she’s about to turn that you spot him, your uncle walking out of the tent in his armor, and an eyepatch over the eye you took.

All you have to say about that is that Aemond pulled it off better.

Nevertheless, you still shoot Daeron a smirk before you stand up on your dragon's back as she’s still moving. You then turn around and begin to run down her with your weapons strapped to you. Daeron watches you do it without an ounce of fear and clenches his jaw.

Once you reach Astraea’s tail you jump off and gracefully land on the ground just a few feet away from Daeron.

“I’ve been looking for you uncle!” You throw out smugly and hear Astraea land a few feet away from you.

Daeron pulls his sword out of his sheath and rebuttals. “Here I am, niece. Ready to take what you took from me.”

You smirk. “I'll say your brother pulled off the one eye look a lot better. You…look like a poor imitation.”

“I don’t like to harm women,” Daeron says, making you look at him in disgust—“but,” he continues. “I’ll make an exception and kill you.”

You scoff. “Good.”

Before either of you can move, Seasmoke passes right in between Daeron and you and blasts fire down, creating a barrier between your uncle and you.

Not like it stops you, it only makes you more excited. And it fills Daeron with uneasiness as he sees your glare past the flames match the glare your dragon wears in the distance.

“Will your dragon join after you’re dead or what?” Daeron comments.

You pull your sword out and point back at her. “Astraea? No. She’s just waiting for me to be done with you. We still have a battle to win after this, so let's make this quick.”

Daeron lifts his chin with confidence. “Let’s,” he mutters.

You deepen your smirk, and before he knows it you run through the flames Seasmoke left behind, and charge at Daeron.

He matches your pace and when you meet in the middle you clash swords and challenge each other's strength by pressing back to try and knock each other down.

“For whatever it’s worth,” Daeron sneers as he pushes back. “I am sorry for your loss. I know how much you loved my brother.”

You groan with slight anger as a response before you catch him off guard and use your foot to kick him back.

Daeron stumbles back, and as he does you slide forward and swing down on his helm hard, causing it to crack where you struck it. You try to swing again, but Daeron parry’s.

“Can you do me a favor?” You ask with a teasing smile as you move back. “Greet him for me when you see each other in one of the seven hells.”

Daeron scoffs and tries to swing, but you duck and then spin around him to switch sides. Daeron quickly turns around and faces you.

You keep quiet this time and just let out a deep breath before you raise your sword and point it at him. Daeron lifts his chin and smirks at you out of smugness and slight pride for you. He saw you here now in your silver armor and red cloak flowing behind you, and he saw every bit of a Targaryen Warrior your ancestors were. It makes him motivated and excited.

He then lifts his sword to get ready to counter, and you charge at him again. Daeron mirrors your actions and runs at you too. Just as you meet halfway, you slide down past him and let go of your sword. You then twirl around on your heels, reach back to quickly pull your bow hanging around you, and then rapidly pull out an arrow, and lastly aim.

Daeron brings himself to a skidding spot, and the moment he turns he spots you on your knee with a bow and an arrow now pointing at him. Before he can even react though you draw and fire, managing to hit him right in the throat.

“I said I have places to be,” you break your silence.

Dareron begins to choke on his blood, but still tries to reach for the arrow to try and get it out. You watch him for a moment before you hang your bow around you again and walk to him.

Daeron backs away from you, but he’s not fast, so after you collect your sword off the ground you catch up to him.

“Any last words?” You ask in a cold tone. “No? Yeah, Lucerys never got the chance either.” You spit at Daeron’s feet before you clench your jaw and raise your sword. Daeron lifts his hands to try and stop you, but you don’t care, you swing harshly and manage to slide his head clean off his shoulders.

“Fuck the Greens,” you grumble and wipe the blood off your face.

Now, to help Addam. But first, you collect Daeron’s head off the ground and realize it’s heavier than you imagined.

“You’ll make a good gift for your mother. Or Aegon…” that bastard is probably still alive. You’ll have to kill him next then.

Regardless, you turn and see Astraea already walking to you, crushing dying soldiers with her huge feet. You proceed to meet her halfway and she lowers her neck so you can quickly mount her.

“<Let's go find Addam,>” you tell her as you tuck Daeron’s head in a satchel you tied around one of her back spines.

Astraea stomps ahead and when she can, she flaps her wings and ascends to the night sky. And now that you’re flying above the castle walls you see Tessarion disembarking from the cloud bank and diving towards Seasmoke. It seems that Addam hasn’t noticed you, he’s too busy looking for any trail of Tessarion, but he fails to notice her too, so you take this moment and nudge Astraea.

Who knows if any of your signals gets to your dragon, she’s so big that it’s doubtful she feels your gentle nudges, but you still try, and she does what you ask regardless.

She stays quiet and continues to blend with the night sky. Tessarion’s gaze is set on Seasmoke so she doesn’t catch Astraea until your dragon slams into her side and shoves her down towards the ground.

Tessarion bellows out in response, and Addam finally turns and catches you now in the sky. You on the other hand hold on for dear life since you don’t have a saddle anymore. Astraea tries to be careful but there’s only so much she can do.

Nevertheless, Tessarion tries to use the claws on her wings to hurt Astraea, but you’re she-dragon clamps her jaw down on Tessarion’s throat, and blows fire out on her face, basking her face in a raging ball of fire that burns the only thing not he heavily protected against flames, her eyes.

Tessarion shrieks out sharply as her eye continues to get burnt, making your ears hurt since you’re so close. She can’t even attempt to fight back, Astraea only lets go moments before she can hit the ground. Sadly though, Tessarion slams into the ground, with a loud crash that sends up a cloud of dirt.

Astraea doesn’t bother to counter, she swoops back to the sky, and it’s only now that you can see Addam mounted on his dragon. He flashes you a proud grin before he taps his chest with his fist, showing only a gesture that you both knew, an intimate gesture between a brother and a sister that you took as comfort.

You return the gesture and he offers you a nod. There’s so much to say, but there’s no time right now, you’ll have to say it after. You get comforted with this simple thing now and just have Astraea meet him and Seasmoke halfway. You proceed to look down and gasp as you catch a different dragon, the old Bronze fury, Vermithor, who is as big as both your dragons combined.

But not to worry, right? Astraea and Seasmoke have courage, that alone makes up for their lack in size.

Yet you still need to be careful. Silverwing still resides nearby, and Tessarion isn’t dead yet.

However, it doesn’t seem like Vermirthor has a rider on his back. He won’t be weaker, he’s old and experienced, so the best chance to survive this is by getting rid of Vermithor first. Addam seems to know that and has Seasmoke dive down towards Vermithor as he only makes it 20 feet above the ground.

You follow suit, and as Seasmoke gets Vermithor’s neck, Astraea bites his tail and they both slam him hard into the mud, creating a small crater.

You can’t help but smirk, but that soon is wiped off as Vermithor whips his tail to Astraea. You almost get hit by him but luckily Astraea lets go of him and jerks away. It makes you fumble, but you hang on and manage to stay on her back.

Next, your dragon doesn’t spare a second and she sinks her teeth into Vermithor's hind legs, causing the dragon to shriek and whip his tail again. This time he hits Astraea's neck so hard it cuts her deep.

“Astraea!” You cry out.

Your dragon lets go and backs away, you take this time to look at Addam and Seasmoke, and you see that they have managed to entangle themselves so much that Seasmoke can’t find a way out.

“Addam!” You yell out, and actually catch his attention. “You have to get off!”

Your half-brother shakes his head. “No. Not yet! Go. Find Tessarion and get rid of her too. We can reunite and get rid of Silverwing next!”

You part your lips to argue, but he’s right, the dragons outmatch your numbers regardless of your dragons might. So you listen and have Astraea swing around.

Luckily, she does because you catch Tessarion descending from the sky trying to catch you off guard.

Astraea roars out and flaps her wings to soar up at a quick speed, making Tessarion flap her own wings and shoot down towards her. Neither seems like they’ll stop before impact, so you try and make yourself small as you grip onto your dragon.

The moment they crash into each other though, the impact is so hard that one of your hands slips, making you dangle off your dragon's back.

“Fuck! Fuck!” You panic and don’t even look down to avoid knowing how far the drop is. You use all your upper body strength and pull yourself up to grab onto the other back spine. Once you have a good grip you fling yourself over to clench your thighs on the sides as both dragons continue to grip onto each other and twirl down to the ground.

You trust your dragon to keep you safe so you tuck your head down as your world spins, making your stomach churn and feel the need to throw up rise up your throat. You don’t even know how close you get to the ground until Tessarion slams Astraea so hard on the ground that you lose your grip and fall off her back. Which you’re to blame for not having a saddle.

But regardless you roll on the ground just like Tessarion makes Astraea roll away from you as they continue to tussle. You try to stop yourself, but before you can you come to a harsh stop as a sharp sword impales into your chest cavity.

You choke and freeze. While your heart feels like it pangs at that instant. For a good moment your mind spins leaving you to grasp nothing, but once it stops and everything is clear all you know is throbbing pain.

Fuck.

“Fuck!” You cry out.

You can’t take it out, you can’t take it out. Fuck. Fuck.

It even hurts to breathe, to keep your heart beating, which is surprising that it still does. Fuck.

Okay, you need to focus, get up. Get up.

You flip around and tremble as you push yourself to your knees.

Now find someone to help you.

However, all you see when you look up is Vermithor ripping Seasmoke's head off his body.

“Addam!” You bellow, and proceed to shriek out as that effort hurts your wound.

Not like you let it stop you, you recover and stand up to walk over to try and find him since you can’t see him from where you are.

“Addam!”

You make it about 6 feet before your knees buckle from the pain and you fall to the mud with a cry.

Is this the end? Here?

No. It can’t. You still need to see your mother, you want to see…him too. One last time. You need to fight.

Fight.

You throw your head up and catch Astraea ripping Tessarion’s wing off his body before she crashes back on the ground. She’s hurt too, but not as badly as you. She gets up and struggles to take flight since her wing seems to be wounded, but she still manages to flap her wings, and rises. You can’t say Tessarion does the same.

You then look ahead and see Vermithor try and fly away with Seasmokes head, but his own torn wings can’t hold his weight so he falls. Where’s Addam?

You slowly push yourself back up to your feet and drag yourself forward. You keep fighting off the exhaustion that makes you want to close your eyes. You fight off the pain and move forward. Fight.

Fight…

But you can’t hold your weight, you fall to your knees. This time after your efforts you see Addam walking away from his dragon's body. He’s bleeding from his shoulder, his nose and eyes are bleeding too, and one of his legs is bent. Still he catches you in the distance and drags himself towards you.

“Addam!” You call out in a shaky voice, and push yourself up again to walk to him.

You don’t make it far, he doesn’t either. He stumbles and falls on his back. You fall on your knees and then fall on your back.

“Addam,” you croak and feel that darkness begin to cloud your eyesight as the pain becomes insufferable.

“Sister,” he groans.

You drag your hand out towards him, and he reaches out for you. You didn’t make it to each other's side, but you make it close enough to touch each other's fingers.

You started off hating him now you can’t fathom that truth that’s to come…his death.

At least though, you’ll die together. So you welcome the darkness, you let your eyes slowly flutter close.

However, through your clouded sight you make Astraea out above you. You feel her claws grab your body, and feel the air brush over you as she lifts you up into the sky with you in her grip.

She flies away, but you don’t see where because the darkness then takes you.

Maybe you’ll see your father now. Your grandmother, and your brothers in whatever bliss you fall into. You’ll know peace before paying for what you’ve done.

That’s all you want after all peace…

“Y/N?”

You know that voice. You haven’t heard it in a while.

You open your eyes and smile. “Father?” You call out.

A/N- you know what’s next?

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic

114 notes · View notes

damn-stark · 4 months

Text

Chapter 21 But then I found you

Chapter 21 of Sugar

A/N- Choso just needs some time to understand the jokes and when he does he’ll be the only one to laugh even if he doesn’t truly get it.

Warning- Swearing, angst, FLUFF!!!!, mentions of death, spoilers, SLOW BURN, heavy pining, dark joke, long chapter

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Takes place during- Chapter 139 of the Manga

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

It’s said that the worst day isn't the day you lose someone, but instead the days after. They say that the silence after the noise of funerals and everything that deals with that is deafening.

You aren’t having a funeral for the twins or Nanami though because you’re practically on the run since everyone is in a frenzy after the events at Shibuya. So only hours pass for you when the silence turns deafening and you know you’re living through the worst day of your life this year.

One that doesn’t let you sleep because all you can do is think of nothing else but Nanako, Mimiko, and Nanami. All you can do is cry quietly on the lonely bed, wishing for someone to tell you that’ll be fine, that at least they’re not in pain anymore, or just to simply keep you company so you’re not alone.

Usually, you would have gone to Nanami or he would have come to you without even needing to be told. Or you would have the twins and you’d comfort each other, but they’re all gone and you’re alone. And you hate it.

It's why even if you’re still exhausted you leave the room you’re staying in and sit on a windowsill in the living room, to watch the raindrops collect on the window while morning slowly rises.

Sure the living room doesn’t resolve the loneliness you feel, but the music of the pattering rain is enough to fill some of the silence. You could almost fall asleep, it would keep your mind quiet for a while, but the matter of the fact is that when you close your eyes you see their faces, so you just choose to watch the rain.

The only time you peel your eyes away is when your curiosity is piqued the moment the floor creaks behind you. And when you look back you’re not disappointed when you see Choso.

“Oh,” he whispers and freezes as if he was caught doing something bad. “I didn’t know you were here. It’s dark.”

You sit up and quickly excuse yourself as if you were also caught doing something you aren’t supposed to. “Yeah, I didn’t want to bother anyone by having the light on. Sorry did I scare you?”

Choso quickly assures you. “No,”

You hum with contentment and then playfully narrow your eyes on him. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” You pick on him.

“Aren't you?” He rebuttals, making the corner of your lips tug to a faint half-smile.

“Touché, and,” you add. “Yes, but…well the room was quiet so I came here.”

Choso blinks in confusion and glances around the room as if searching for the resolve to your silence, but he finds nothing but more silence.

“And you? Why are you up?” You ask. “It’s still early after the night we had.”

“Water,” Choso says. “I came for water.”

You hum and look back at the rain to let him grab his water. And when you hear him pouring the body of water into his cup, you press your fingertip on the glass and use your technique to form the raindrops on the glass into bunnies.

And perhaps it’s such a silly thing to do still at 28, but you find comfort in the creatures you can make, especially in the bunnies you shape because they carry so much more meaning now.

“Can I ask you guys something important? What’s your favorite animal, hm?”

You remember them looking at one another trying to figure out what you were up to while they chose to give into your antics with wholehearted trust.

“Bunnies!”

Nanako said for her and Mimiko.

Bunnies.

You never gave them much thought before, the twins liked them and as they grew, Nanako continued to like them when Mimiko grew out of them.

Bunnies.

It was also a nickname you used for them that sounded made for them. They never complained about it or asked you to stop calling them that. Even when they got older.

Bunnies…

You never gave them much thought before, but now you’ll live the rest of your life thinking about them and remembering the twins.

“Here,” Choso breaks you from your train of thought, making you drop the rainwater and look over to see him offering you a cup of water.

“Oh,” you gasp softly and take the cup. “Thank you.” You smile at him and feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the simple gesture. Which is why as Choso shifts his body to walk away, you interject.

“Wait, hm…” you hesitate simply out of timidness. “Do you want to sit with me? It’s okay if you don’t, you can go back to bed.”

You don’t look back and wait for his response with your eyes glued on the water in your cup out of fear of rejection.

“Yes,” he assures your pounding heart. “I do.”

You sigh softly and lift your eyes to watch him turn back. When he’s taken his seat though, you drift your gaze back out the window to continue to watch the rain and listen to its melody as it hits the glass.

And whereas the rain filled the silence before but wasn’t enough to keep you company, now you hear the soft breaths Choso takes through the rain's music; you feel the warmth of his body radiate out as he sits only inches away from you, and it’s because of those simple and quiet details that the loneliness you had felt antagonizing your heart disappears.

You don’t even need to look at him to reaffirm anything either, that’s enough to satisfy you. However, you still can’t help but steal a glance over at him and take in the sight of his relaxed face as he watches the rain fall. You watch him softly narrow his eyes, and guess to yourself that he might be thinking. What about is a question that makes an appearance in your head for a second before you take a drink of your water and look out again as your mind wanders to another thought.

And unbeknownst to you Choso steals a glance right back at you and watches your gaze get lost on a raindrop for a long moment before you finally blink and shift your gaze, making him quickly look away.

“Choso,” you break the silence. “Can I ask you something?”

Said man drifts his eyes over to you and you suddenly feel your breath hitch in your throat as you grow nervous under his intense gaze.

“Yes,” he welcomes your curiosity.

You swallow back nervously and glance at your bare fingernails to build your courage before you speak up. “How…hm,” you pause and drop your head to place the cup down between your legs. “How did you forgive Itadori?” You finally ask and slowly lift your gaze to watch for his reaction.

“I mean I heard what you told him last night,” you explain further. “But there was a moment where you were debating it right? Whether to forgive the boy that killed your brothers or not?”

Choso draws out a deep breath and nods softly, relieving your guilt.

“Okay,” you whisper and exhale deeply before you continue with your point. “Because…it’s been 11 years since my brother…betrayed me,” you pause hesitantly since you don’t know how to exactly sum it all up to one short story without telling a long dreadful one.

“And it’s almost been 1 year since we’ve reunited, and in that year he’s been nothing but great to my daughter, he’s tried to be good to me, but…I still can’t find it in me to forgive him,” you share in a tearful voice. “I told him a few weeks ago that I was ready to try, but now he’s gone, and all I want is to forgive him before I get him out of that prison. I don’t want to hold resentment, but I don’t know how…so,” you slowly drag on as you grow more nervous. “How did you forgive Itadori? How did you know it was right?”

Choso watches you for a moment as if trying to find his answer on your face before he looks away and looks for his answer on some random crevice.

And once again, as you watch him you see him slightly narrow his gaze. However, this time you also see his thick eyebrows pinch together before they relax again just before he snaps his eyes up to meet your waiting gaze.

“I don’t know,” he shares in an honest tone. You can tell because there's a gentle shift in his deep and nonchalant voice. “I think it was just a feeling in my gut. It felt like the right thing to do because the more I thought about it the more I realized it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know who he was fighting, so he couldn’t have control over the situation.”

You pick up your cup to drink water as you let his words sink.

“So maybe go with the right feeling? I don’t know,” he confesses. “But what I do know is that as older brothers we make mistakes too.”

You smile sweetly at his words, making Choso swallow thickly.

“Thank you,” you whisper and offer him a wider smile.

Choso parts his lips but quickly closes his mouth and sighs before he mutters, “you’re welcome.”

You beam at him as you realize he corrected himself. “Nice,” you acknowledge his gratitude.

Choso looks down and tries to hide his soft smile, but you catch it and feel that fluttering in your stomach that you never want to lose.

Silence follows after that for a few minutes before Choso interjects this time. “Can I ask you something now?”

You blink with surprise and quickly nod to try and satisfy your curiosity.

“When do you think Yuji will acknowledge me as his older brother?” He asks with worry and complete seriousness, but you can’t help but giggle at how cute it sounds.

“What?” He queries.

You shake your head. “Nothing…it’s just…nothing.” You clear your throat and grow a bit serious as the weight of his questions falls on your shoulders. “Just give him time.”

“How much time?” Choso impatiently cuts in.

You shrug. “His world just got turned upside down, you know?” You sigh. “His friend is…well…” you trail off since you told him last night on your way to find Itadori—“one mentor died,” you add. “And the other was taken. And on the same day, he finds out that the guy he was fighting and was almost killed by is actually his long lost older brother, it’s a lot to progress so give him time.”

Choso looks unsatisfied so you lean over your knees and offer him advice. “Be there for him like you are now. Check up on him as he’s dealing with his emotions. You don’t have to say anything on the matter, but letting him know that you’re there for him would be great.”

“Okay.”

“For example,” you add to help him more. “Now, when my students bring us the groceries I asked for, we can make him breakfast. He may not want to eat, but you know what? Just letting him know you’re worried and thinking about him is a small step in the right direction!”

“Really?” Choso asks with his eyes filled with curiosity and trust for what you’re saying.

“Really.” You confirm sweetly.

“Okay.” Choso trusts you.

“We’ll just have to wait an hour because I did also ask my kids to pick up some stuff from my house,” you break it to him, making him react with a soft scoff.

“Tsk.”

You snicker and sit back to watch the rain again, missing the way he keeps his eyes on you as he builds the courage to ask a question off-topic. One that he doesn't know whether you'll be happy to hear or upset. Plus you look happier now, so he doesn’t want to see you upset all over again.

Yet he wants to ask so he takes the risk. “How’s your daughter? Did she make it out okay?”

You snap your eyes over to Choso and your smile falls flat, making him start to regret asking.

Nevertheless, you then flash him a smile and gladly answer. “She did, she’s on her way to Italy right now with Belinda, her caretaker, who actually,” you let him know. “Was my caretaker too.”

Choso blinks and rebuttals in a very serious nonchalant way. “You need a caretaker?”

You chuckle and quickly counter. “No—imagine though? Like during a battle, someone’s just taking care of me,” you play along with a laugh, making his face burn and his heart race before he can’t help but smile faintly at the sight of your own reaction.

“No, but,” you clear your throat. “Belinda was mine and Satoru’s caretaker when we were young, so there’s no one I trust more with my little girl than Belinda.”

Choso hums and you add on excitedly.

“She’s going to be taking strolls around town, going to the beach, harvesting grapes, and looking for cute souvenirs because she says she wants to give her uncle something cute when he gets out of his prison realm.” You grin, and Choso’s lips pull to a soft smile.

“So,” he adds hesitantly. “She’s not upset you’re not leaving with her?”

You sigh deeply and carefully spin the water in your cup. “Yeah,” you admit. “But I told her that I have to stay here to work on getting Satoru out of the prison realm, so that kind of calmed her down.” You say and frown out of shame and sadness that you have to send your daughter away.

Choso reads your expression as if he’s known you for years and makes an assumption. “It’s for her own good.”

You exhale deeply. “Yeah, I know.” You smile again and nudge his foot with yours. “Thank you for asking, I appreciate it.”

Choso holds your gaze and glances down at your lips pulled to a smile before meeting your gaze again and offering you a small acknowledging nod.

“Now,” you add and swing your legs off the windowsill. “Do you want to watch a movie while we wait?” You ask and take the blanket you had been sitting on to throw it over you and walk to the TV. “We would watch an animated one about brothers going on drastically different revenge trips after their older brother dies. One ends up transformed because of his revenge, and the other one ends up blinded by anger. It’s a very good movie and it makes me cry all the time. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“Yeah,” Choso agrees. “That’s fine.”

You peer over at him to flash him a smile as he takes a seat on the end of the couch. When you look down to grab the remote you smile wider to yourself over the fact that you don’t feel alone anymore with him here with you.

——

*2 HOURS LATER*

A knock rapping on the door sends you sliding off your seat to rush and open the door. And even if you expected them (an hour ago), seeing Kirara and Hakari standing in the hall, under the flickering light; some of the darkness that held you captive broke away, letting you feel lighter, like…you aren’t drowning by the weight of your emotions anymore.

“Finally,” you greet them nonchalantly even if that does nothing to hide the grief so noticeable in your puffy eyes. “I’m starving.”

“Master,” Kirara whispers as they look into your eyes to try and find something to say and a way to react as you stand before them.

“You look like crap master,” Hakari says brashly. “It's a good thing we brought your things.”

You flash him a soft smile before you glance down at your luggage he shows off.

“I almost thought you wouldn't get here, I almost cried thinking I was going to have to wear this forever,” you say dramatically and step aside to let him in.

“Master,” Kirara repeats in that soft voice.

“Kira, darling,” you greet them and look at them with a teasing smile.

Kirara drops the grocery bags and watches you with a trembling bottom lip before they close the gap and wrap you in an embrace.

You’re caught off guard by the suddenness of it, but you don’t question what brought this on, you told them about Nanako, Mimiko, and Nanami. So this embrace was for that.

It’s true they usually give you hugs here and there, they're more affectionate than Hakari after all, but you saw the pity in their eyes the moment you opened the door. They didn’t need to say a word about it for you to know.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” they murmur against you.

Yet no matter how much you knew, how much you prepared to appear strong while they were here, you still can’t help yourself from breaking just a little by the feeling of their comfort.

Whereas Choso filled the silence and did not make you feel alone or hopeless. Hakari and Kirara are still what keep you from drowning any further.

“Thank you, Kira,” you whisper and squeeze them gently, letting a couple of tears fall down your cheeks.

“Kin might not say it but it was his idea to come,” they reveal. “He wanted to come last night to keep you company, but he respected your wishes and we stayed home like you asked.”

Your breath hitches softly and you feel your heart fill with bliss. “Thank you,” whisper again and linger in their embrace for a moment longer before you pull back and hold their hands. “This is why you’re my favorite,” you taunt loudly.

“I heard that!” Hakari exclaims from the kitchen. “Eh, who are you?” He abruptly changes his tone of voice to something rougher, so you immediately drop Kirara's hands and help them with some groceries to then rush into the kitchen where Hakari is staring Choso down.

“Kin this is Choso,” you quickly interject. “He’s my friend.”

Hakari’s shoulders relax and he squints his gaze before interjecting. “How good are you at fighting?” He then looks over at you. “How good is your guy at fighting?”

You pluck a grape from one of the bags and throw it in your mouth. “Let him answer,” your voice comes out muffled.

“So,” Hakari redirects. “Are you any good? You could make good money.”

Choso’s eyes drift to you in confusion, but before you can help him out of the situation Kirara blurts as they walk up behind you. “Wait, this is him? Is this the same Choso you told us about? The cursed womb?”

Your face burns and Choso’s eyes slightly widen in surprise.

“Yeah this is him,” you agree and hide your face by putting the groceries down to avoid getting seen all flustered by Kirara and Hakari because they will notice and catch your racing heart when you simply lay your eyes on Choso.

“Choso,” you change the subject and look up proudly. “These are my students, the ones I told you about! This right here Kirara Hoshi,” you point over your shoulder.

“Hello,” Kirara greets and leans over your shoulder. “I like your buns.”

You smile softly, and see Choso grow a bit flustered. “Thank you,” he responds with nonchalance.

“And this,” you move on and grab Hakari’s arm. “Is Kinji Hakari. They’re my star pupils.” You show off like a proud mother and throw your arms around their shoulders. “My kids.”

“We’re her only students,” Kirara makes the point clear. “So there’s not really more to choose from.”

“Not like we’re complaining,” Hakari cuts in.

“Y/N has spoken highly of the both of you in the short time we’ve been together,” Choso shares bluntly and adds nothing else. That’s it.

“I assume we'll make breakfast now,” Choso adds. “I’ll fetch Yuji.”

You hum in comprehension and watch him until he disappears down the hall.

“Master?” Hakari snaps your attention back to the kitchen.

“Hm?” You probe and look at him.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry for your losses,” he says. “I hope this is not the end for you, it would be disappointing.”

You scoff softly and he catches you off guard when he places his hand on your shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze.

However, you can’t say you hate the gesture. It’s his form of an embrace, so you return it by reaching over and giving his hand a returning squeeze.

“Thank you, Kin. And it’s not, now I’m planning to kill the man in Suguru’s body and get my brother back.”

Hakari smirks. “I like the sound of that.”

You let his hand go, letting him slide his hand off your shoulder.

“I can’t kill Sukuna myself,” you grumble and begin to take things from the bags to put them away. “I’m not that stupid either, but I can kill Noritoshi—Or I can find a way to destroy Sukuna from the inside,” you sneer.

“What about both?” Hakari suggests as he sits back on the counter to watch Kirara and you put things away. “It’ll be a hell of a mission.”

You snicker. “Did you guys take in the city sights?” You change the subject as he mentions missions.

“Yeah,” Kirara cuts in. “I can’t believe we missed it. You really downplayed it!”

“I said big crater!” You argue. “There was a big crater!”

“Along with crumbling towers, cracked streets, and large gaps in walls,” Hakari adds sarcastically. “Yeah, but no biggie. It doesn’t compare to Egypt.”

You peer at him over your shoulder and smile. “Exactly what I told Yuki.” You wink at him.

“Only we didn’t destroy part of a city,” Kirara says, making Hakari and you both quickly rebuttal.

“Close enough.”

“I am sorry that we couldn’t lend a helping hand in all the fun,” Hakari continues with a stifled laugh and smacks the arm you regrew before he picks it up and examines it, making Kirara drop what they held to study your arm too as if it was some kind of miracle.

“I know it doesn’t hurt anymore,” Kirara says. “But are you sure there aren’t any lingering effects?”

“Just her unmanicured nails,” Hakari points out your insecurity.

“I’m working on it,” you whine and look at Kirara. “Would you help me? I can’t possibly go on with my nails all naked.”

Alas just as Kirara is about to agree, Choso entering the kitchen alone steals your attention.

“He said he didn’t want to come,” he shares almost disappointedly.

You pull your hand away from the student's grasp and offer Choso an assuring smile. “Just give him time. You can offer him breakfast later. For now, why don’t you come help me make some, hm? Or you can help Hakari put the things away.”

Choso nods and doesn’t hesitate to walk in and join the three of you in the kitchen, choosing to be by your side instead of in between you and your kids who watched him like hungry predators.

“I thought about it,” you direct at him with a smile. “We can make something savory like omelets!”

Choso raises his eyebrow and argues nonchalantly. “You said you wanted something sweet.”

You nod. “I know, but it’s too late to make what I wanted, I’m starving, so something quick is what we’re going with today.”

He hums and you don’t take that as a protest so you don’t change your mind.

“I can help you master,” Kirara cuts in and barges in between Choso and you. “We came with an appetite.”

You furrow your eyebrows and quietly wonder what that was about before you look over your shoulder to find your answer with Hakari. However, he looks away at that moment, making you quip. “Late and with an appetite? I swear.”

“You wouldn’t let us starve now would you?” Kirara speaks softly and sweetly, using your own tricks on you. “Who knows what we may face on our way home you know with all those curses—”

“I get it, I get it,” you cut them off and grumble. “And using my tricks on me? At least bat your lashes won’t you?”

Kirara laughs, and you can’t help but smile softly. Actually, you can’t help but feel happy being in the kitchen with your students and with Choso. You don’t feel alone with all the noise, you feel content with all the uproar Kirara and Hakari provide by being here.

However, in between all the bliss, the laughs, and the stories you all tell Choso who never wavers his attention, comes back that agonizing sorrow.

Just a couple of days ago you were laughing and gossiping with Satori, and the twins. Just a couple of days ago you still had them with you, and your heart wasn’t completely satisfied, but you were happy. Now they’re gone and that’s all that occupies your mind; along with their—no Mimiko’s body…you never saw Nanako’s body…You never saw her face, you just found her phone.

And for some reason that irks you so much that what you knew gets all twisted and you foolishly start to hope that you can still find her. Or that she’ll find you.

All because a good morning triggered a flood of memories you return to the station and wait. You wait with hope that you’ll find Nanako.

Yet she doesn’t come that evening, but instead of feeling discouraged and thinking straight, you continue to hope and wait. Wait, and wait for five days for a moment in time while Itadori is out curse hunting and Choso is following him, making sure he’s okay and hoping that Itadori will acknowledge him as a brother.

They don’t know that you find a spot near where you found the twins and wait. They don’t know until one does on the fifth day after they discreetly follow you, making you delusional and believe that the footsteps that approach you are Nanako’s.

Alas, when you look over your smile falls and your heart weeps a little when it’s not her.

“Choso,” you greet quietly and sit back down with your head hanging low. “What are you doing here?”

Choso falls beside you and then responds. “I was wondering where you came to every day for the past five days.”

You sigh and speak just above a whisper. “Here. I’m not hiding something if that’s what you think.”

“I debated it,” he confesses.

You huff softly, and he slowly slides down the wall to sit beside you.

“You can go,” you murmur and keep averting your gaze. “Make sure Itadori doesn’t run into any trouble. I just want to stay here and wait a little while longer…” you trail off and cradle Nanako’s broken phone against your chest.

“Wait for what?” Choso asks and you can’t tell if it’s some joke or a genuine question. Isn’t it obvious?

“She can still come,” you whisper sharply.

Choso shifts uncomfortably and breathes out. “Oh.” He doesn’t try to argue with you like others would have to get you to see the truth. He doesn’t snap back after you raised your voice. He continues to sit there in silence with you. And you feel grateful that he does.

You find comfort in the feeling of his presence and the sound of his calm breathing. You also slowly come back to the truth in his silence.

“Right?” You ask. “I didn’t see her…she can still come back…right?”

Choso lingers in the silence for a moment before he parts his lips. “I—”

“She can’t,” you cut him off to answer your own question because you already knew the truth. You had known it since the moment you found their bodies, but these calm days clouded your mind and made you cling onto hope.

You can see clearly now though, and a part of you dies inside because of it.

After days of knowing and crying at night, you finally come to terms with the fact that you will live the rest of your life without Nanako and Mimiko. The girls that aren’t even biologically yours, but you loved with every fiber in your body. The girls who you debated accepting into your life because you feared being a bad parent to them, but ended up trying to be everything your parents weren't to you. They’re gone. They’re gone forever, and you have to accept that. You do accept that now in the silence of the room that you fill with your broken cries and sniffles.

Several minutes pass before the room falls completely silent again and your shoulders stop shaking, however, you still remain seated and stare at the floor while Choso sits beside you not knowing what to do or how to comfort you until he finally finds the courage and breaks the silence.

“I found this.”

You wipe the stray tears off your cheeks and lift your head to watch him pull something out of his pocket. When his hand is close to you he opens his palm and shows off a small, but broken glass swan figurine infused with a red-orange color combination.

“Oh it’s broken,” Choso grumbles with a pout and closes his hand over the figurine to get rid of the broken glass.

Albeit you quickly grab his hand to stop him. “Not necessarily,” you assure him and pull his hand back towards you. “Hold the pieces together, I can fix it.”

You open Choso’s hand for him and then shift to be face to face.

“The neat thing about my technique,” you say and put Nanako’s phone away to summon fire to your finger. “I can fix these kinds of things.”

Choso puts the parts together and holds it out for you.

“One time,” you continue to speak while you begin to mend the pieces back together. “When I was a little girl, I was playing inside with my brother—twist,” you instruct him, and when he does you continue on. “…and we broke this crazy expensive glass vase, so,” you huff and smile faintly. “To avoid getting in trouble we stayed up all night and I put it back together.”

Choso hums in comprehension and you lift your gaze off the glass swan to look at him and hum back.

“Did they find out?” He probes. “Your parents?”

You shake your head. “No—twist—but my cousins did end up breaking it the following week, so,” you click your tongue. “That was that.”

You sit up straight and put the fire out to instead gather a swirl of air over your fingertip and redirect it at the swan to cool it off and finish your work.

“Look at that,” you muse happily and sit back to face Choso. “All fixed!”

Choso holds the figurine in between his fingertips and turns it gently to study your work.

“It’s not as it used to be, but it’s still pretty,” you try to make him feel better.

Choso hums and drifts his eyes over to you. “It’s for you,” he says and pushes the glass figurine towards you.

“For me?” You whisper and touch your chest with surprise.

Choso nods. “I found it amongst some rubble and…picked it up for you. It wasn’t broken then though.”

You hold his gaze for a lingering moment as you progress his gesture as if it’s the first time someone has done anything kind for you when it’s not true. People have done kind stuff for you. Yet you still can’t help but feel flustered and surprised over Choso doing it.

“Thank you,” you coo and take the glass swan from his grasp to gently cup it in your hands and admire the red-orange design that makes it look like fire is trapped inside—“it’s beautiful. I’ll cherish it forever.” You bat your lashes and meet his gaze with a beaming grin.

Choso blinks repeatedly and his cheeks grow a tint of red while his lips slowly pull to a sweet smile.

You should look away, you want to keep admiring the little swan, but you can’t rip your eyes away. You continue to hold his gaze as if you’re magnetized to him, and in that precise moment as you look into his kind and rich brown eyes, everything slows down and only you and him exist in your vast and beautiful world as a realization hits your mind and heart.

It’s a sweet and kind realization that lets you know that what you feel goes past just attraction; your face burns and your heart skips a beat for him because you…like him. You want to feel the warmth of his lips on yours, you want him to hold you intimately, and you want to make him laugh and smile in ways only you know how to.

You never thought you’d feel that burning desire again, even if Suguru said you should find someone to make you happy, you never found the urge or the need to after him, but here is Choso, and it’s such an exciting feeling. Something new and positively overwhelming that you never felt for Suguru.

Does he feel the same though?

You see his gaze linger, he keeps you company without you needing to tell him, he blushes a lot over the small things you say, and you often hear his breath hitch when you’re close to him. Plus you’re not a clueless and an inexperienced teenager anymore, you notice things even if you don’t point it out or make it obvious—And well he’s not really discreet about his feelings.

But…you know what you’ve done. You know who you are, and he’s sweet and passionate. He’s everything you like in a man, and it’s exactly why he’s not someone you deserve. So even if he gives you these sweet gifts, makes your heart sing the sweetest song, and makes you burn up with desire, you can’t encourage anything. You don’t deserve him or his big heart; he might not agree or see that detail, but you see it and you’re not worthy of him.

“Thank you once again, Choso,” you whisper and pull back.

He hums.

“I have something to tell you now,” you mutter and look back at the swan. “Something serious and private.”

You can’t encourage feelings of desire, but you still want to be his friend.

“You can’t tell anyone, okay? Promise?” You make yourself clear.

Choso swallows thickly and nods. “I won’t tell anyone.”

You nod. “Good. Good,” you murmur and continue to bite back a smile and sigh to pretend to be serious. “I…stayed up all night last night wondering where the sun went.” You hold his gaze and finish with a growing smile. “And then it dawned on me.” You snort and watch for his reaction.

Choso blinks and his eyebrows slowly begin to furrow.

“Get it?” You ask with a grin. “It dawned on me?” You snicker and can’t help but laugh at your own joke.

Choso doesn’t join in though, so you calm down and shake your head. “It’s not as funny when I have to explain the joke. So I’ll tell you another one.” You clear your throat and continue. “I tried to catch some fog the other day. I missed. Wait…” you trail off and laugh. “I said it wrong!” You push his shoulder and laugh harder. “I said it wrong! Listen, Choso.�� You clear your throat again and sit up to face him and retell the joke. “I tried to catch some fog the other day. I mist.” You flash him a grin for a second before you sigh deeply. “I ruined it. Damn.”

Choso drops his head and strokes his chin, making you mindlessly smile in awe.

“Oh,” Choso interjects with a breathless scoff a few minutes later. “I get it. They’re jokes.”

You giggle and nod. “Yes. They are, but I guess I have to find the right one. Don’t worry I know tons. It’ll just take some time to find it.”

Choso hums and then his lips pull to a half smile. “I’ll look forward to it.”

You smile and nod. “Good. Now,” you draw out a deep breath. “Let’s go meet up with Itadori.”

You push yourself off your seat and Choso mirrors you. When you’re about a thirds of a way near the exit you break your silence and nudge his arm.

“I was thinking about ways to get your brothers out.”

Choso blinks and his eyes soften when he looks at you.

“Okay,” you go on as you fiddle with the glass swan. “One, we ask for help from my doctor friend. But…I am leaning away from that one because I don’t want to risk getting her in trouble, so here’s three more which all now involve knocking out the guards. Which isn’t hard, my six-year-old can do it.” You skip forward to face him as you walk back.

“We can walk into all the doors,” you continue. “Risk falling into a trap and maybe dying. Three, we can take the route I used last year and burn all the doors down with one of my techniques, which will leave the one we want. Or four, since you say you can sense your brothers, we can just use you to guide us to the right door. It’d be less messy.”

“Yes.” Choso nods. “I thought about that one too, so we can use me,” he says. “If that doesn’t work then we can use your technique.”

You smile. “Great, that sounds like a plan. Now we have to figure out when. Shoko says that things are still pretty roused up at the school,” you pause and turn to face the last stretch before you reach the exit doors. “I don’t think things will change any time soon, so,” you exhale. “Maybe we can go sometime next week. That sound good?” You ask and turn your head to make sure it’s okay.

Luckily Choso was already looking at you so you quickly find each other's gaze.

“Yes, that sounds good,” he agrees, making you smile proudly and pat his shoulder.

“Great.” You exclaim and avert your gaze to avoid looking into his eyes again.

You actually get ahead of him to exit the building and choose to immediately look up at the night sky the moment you’re outside.

“Look at that,” you muse out loud as you find joy in the rare star-littered sky casted over the city. “There’s stars out now that the city lights aren’t polluting the sky. Hm.” You hum and smile with admiration. “Nothing beats seeing the stars on a boat in the middle of the ocean. It looks like you’re lost in the stars.” You ramble and look down.

However, that was a mistake because Choso is already looking at you with a deep intensity that makes it hard for you to pull your eyes away.

You almost don’t find the strength to, you want to get lost in his eyes that seem to glimmer softly thanks to the moon's gentle hue, but you do look away and hide your flustered face.

“So,” you roll out and change the subject. “How are things with Itadori? Do you talk when you’re out hunting curses?”

“Not really,” Choso answers right away, sounding disappointed. “He’s stuck in a trance when he’s killing curses.”

You slowly look back at Choso and frown with pity. “It’s just all his emotions,” you inform him. “He’s trying to numb away the pain as he’s fighting.”

Choso nods. “It seems so…could you talk to him?” He asks, catching you by surprise. “I’m afraid I can’t offer the advice he needs to hear. Maybe you can?”

“Me?” You point at yourself.

“Yes. You’re a mother, you have students too. And you share a common loss,” he says. “Maybe you can talk to him.”

You hold his gaze for a second before you avert your eyes and think for a minute.

You don’t want to say the wrong thing to Itadori. He’s not your students or your kids, and his way of thinking is different.

But Choso is right too, you do share a common loss, and you’ve lost other people too, you can talk to him about grief. Besides, you’ve been living with him, he hardly eats, and when he’s out in the living room he’s spaced out most of the time. He’s in pain and you can say you know what he’s feeling. Plus, Choso has done so much for you. He’s so nice. And even if you don’t want to encourage your relationship to drift in a different direction, you can still help him this way and it won’t change a thing.

“All right,” you assure Choso. “I’ll talk to him. I think I have an idea. We can do it tomorrow night.”

Choso draws out a deep breath and you feel his stare on you. “Thank you,” he says softly.

You avert your gaze and nod. “No problem, Choso.”

His gaze lingers for a while longer. And when he finally looks away you look at him as if you’re addicted to him.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

Okay, how do you say this?

Hey, come outside with me?

No, it sounds weird…so maybe “can we talk?”

Sounds a bit too serious and you don’t want to make Itadori nervous.

Hm…

You tap your chopstick on the plate and think for a moment that’s cut short.

“You okay?” Itadori breaks his silence which ends up surprising you; he hardly says a thing besides his manners.

“Oh,” you gasp softly and flicker your eyes to Choso. He looks at you and without saying a thing you speechlessly say “here I go,” and slide your eyes back to the pink-haired boy, noticing his gaze snap from Choso and you as if finding something off between the two of you.

“Itadori,” you start off by saying and put your utensils down to just throw something out. “When we’re done with dinner could you meet me outside? I want to show you something that might help.”

Itadori’s eyebrows knit together in confusion but he doesn’t probe, he nods in agreement. “Yeah, all right.”

You smile softly. “Good, and bring something that reminds you of Nanami.”

“Huh?”

You lean over. “You’ll see when we get down there...” You trail off and turn to Choso. “You too Choso, bring something that reminds you of your brothers. We can all do this.”

“Bring what?” Choso asks for him and Itadori since they both have the same question.

You shrug. “Something you see that reminds you of the people you lost. It doesn’t have to be big, it can be a picture, something small like a button, just something you look at and makes you think of them. We’ll burn it.” You let them know.

Choso averts his gaze and thinks, whilst Itadori just eats his food in silence and with sorrow.

You can’t say you have anything to offer at the moment, you do want to save it all for later, so you let the silence linger while you all eat.

Nevertheless, Choso has other plans.

“Yuji,” he catches Itadori and you off guard by speaking up. But then again you shouldn't be, he's been trying to make small talk with Itadori for so long. “Do you know, y/n has a caretaker.”

“Hey!” You exclaim and snap your eyes at him to look at him with betrayal. How come he’s picking on you? It’s so out of left field!

Then again he doesn’t talk much and you're still getting to know who’s turning out to be, so everything will probably come out surprising. Which is not a bad thing, you kind of like that he dared himself to pick on you on such a forgetful aspect of your life. It means he was listening when you talked.

“That’s not true,” you make it known.

Itadori eyes widen and he looks at you shocked as if he hasn’t gone to your house before.

“My daughter has a caretaker,” you spat and point your utensil at Choso. “I stopped having a caretaker since I was 11.”

“You had a babysitter?” Itadori asks teasingly.

You nod. “There were three,” you say and lift three fingers. “My family are the Gojo’s so my parents didn’t have time to take care of me. Belinda was my every day, one was for teaching, and the third was for…well, I don’t remember anymore, but there were three.”

“That can’t be right,” Itadori doubts you.

You chuckle. “It’s right. And if Choso had lived 150 years ago he would’ve had them too,” you taunt him right back. “You would've had your ass wiped, man. You would’ve been pampered like you’re some god because of your inherited technique.”

Choso rolls his eyes. “I would’ve hated it,” he grumbles. “And him even more.”

“Yeah sure,” you scoff. “You would’ve been clan leader eventually and matched with some pretty sorcerer woman to continue your line.”

Itadori slams his hands on the table and leans over the table to be closer to you. “Wait, that's real? Do people actually get matched together like in the movies?”

You prop your elbow on the table to rest your chin on your hand and respond. “Yeah. That’s how the big families guarantee that their family line continues to be strong. For example, the Zen’in’s wanted me to marry their son, Naoya Zen’in, but,” you huff. “My brother wouldn't allow it, and my father never agreed to it either. That’s one of the good things he did for me. If not, right now I’d be some forgotten concubine in the Zen’in clan.”

“Really?” Itadori inquiries.

You nod lazily. “Yeah. Truth is, I probably would’ve just…you know,” you chuckle coldly. “Killed myself or something if that happened though.”

“Tsk,” Choso complains about your joke.

“Naoya is the worst,” you back up your joke. “He’s an arrogant, misogynist, spoiled brat who only values himself.”

“Jeez,” Itadori whispers.

“Happens though,” you murmur and sit up. “Takes a lot of sacrifice being part of a family like that. Then again when you’re used to it it’s normal. I escaped it though so I’m good.” You smile and look at him to ask him a question you already knew but one Choso doesn’t. “What about you? You said your grandfather raised you, how was that?”

Itadori shrugs. “It was good. He was good, not like your family.”

You laugh softly.

“There was always food on the table and clothes on my back. He was a good guy,” he says.

You glance at Choso and point your eyes at Itadori, encouraging him to dive deeper so he can get to know him better.

“And,” Choso brings up slowly as he understands what you want from him. “Your grandfather…where is he?” He asks and drifts his gaze away from you to give his attention to his brother.

“Oh,” Itadori answers as he scoops up some food. “He passed not long ago. It’s just me now.”

“Oh.” Choso lets out with a hardened expression slowly painting on his face.

“You have all of us,” you quickly assure him. “And your friends. Choso. You’re not alone.”

Itadori plays with his food and mutters at his plate with a deep-set frown on his face. “But I don’t, not anymore.”

You swallow back thickly and don’t try to argue, he won’t listen, it’ll just go in one ear and out the other, so you’ll wait for the Pyre.

However, you do let him know something. “Itadori, after this whole ordeal is done, you’re always welcome in the community. If you don’t change your mind about being alone that is. Choso and his brothers are going to get settled there, you can go too.”

Itadori's eyes slowly drift to you and he looks at you with a perplexed look. “But—”

“You’ll have something to do,” you cut him off and assure him even though you know that’s not what he was going to ask. “We always need a helping hand.”

Itadori drops his gaze and nods stiffly. “All right,” he says in an unconvincing way. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you redirect and keep your eyes on him as he plays with his food. “Now,” you slowly continue filling the silence as you sit back to face both guys better. “I need to tell you both the story of when I fell off my horse—”

Nevertheless, before you can finish, the sound of your phone ringing cuts you off. And when you check who’s calling, it’s none other than your little girl.

“I’ll meet you guys outside,” you excuse yourself as you get up with your plate. “I have to take this call.”

On your way to the kitchen, you answer your phone and right away there’s a chipper voice. “Mommy!”

“Satori?” You greet cautiously considering it’s late in Italy compared to here. “Hello. What’s up with this wonderful surprise? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Uh,” she hums through the phone for a long while.

“Satori Geto,” you scold her and hold your phone with your shoulder to wash your dish. “It’s 2 am over there. What’s wrong?”

“Mom,” she speaks cautiously out of fear she’d get in trouble. “Mommy, I had a dream.”

“A bad dream?” You immediately try to find a solution.

“Hm, no,” she rolls out, making you sigh as you close the faucet and walk over to your room—“It was a good dream,” she whispers and yawns. “About Daddy, Nana, and Mimi! We were at the park!”

Your breath hitches and your annoyance vanishes. “Oh…what did you do in the park?”

Satori hums and when she answers she speaks with glee. “Daddy was pushing me in the swing, and my sisters were sitting beside me.”

Your eyes water and your heart breaks a little.

She still has yet to know about the twins' death. You just haven’t been able to build the strength to share it through the phone, you want to be with her when you tell her to comfort her. You don’t want to be miles away and have to hear her cry through a phone.

“You know what they say,” you hide your sadness. “Daddy came to visit. You tell him hi for me?”

“Of course,” she exclaims. “Always.”

You pull your phone away to hide a shaky breath.

“Mommy, when am I going back home? I miss you,” her voice quivers.

You press your phone back to your ear and coo. “I miss you too baby and I’m sorry but I don’t know yet.”

Satori groans. “Are you sure you don’t need my help?” She asks desperately. “Me and Tiger can help. And Uncle Satoru said "I'm a big help”, I want to help him out of prison.”

You giggle and she whines. “Don’t laugh.”

“I'm sorry, I’m sorry,” you quickly counter. “I know you’re a big help, so you know how you can help him? By making him a welcome home present. Maybe knit him a scarf,” you suggest. “You said you’re learning. Or you know, continue to look for a cute souvenir that reminds you of him. He’ll need some cheering up when he’s out and that will put a smile on his face.”

Satori groans dramatically. “Fine,” she grumbles. “But you work hard to get him out okay? Or else he’ll miss his birthday.”

You grin and assure her. “I will make sure he’s out before then. But as of now, you need to go to sleep. We’ll call in the morning like always, all right? I love you, my girl, to the moon and never back.”

Satori yawns. “I love you too mama. Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams to you too Chipmunk,” you whisper and stay on the phone until she hangs up.

Rather than going out to meet with the others, you continue sitting down for a moment as you feel nothing but guilt having to be away from your daughter for who knows how long.

She deserves so much more, you promised to give her more, but look at you now. Hiding her away from curse users with attachment issues, and hiding the fact that her older sisters are dead.

How terrible is that? How terrible are you?

You let out a deep frustrated breath as you wipe your eyes before you stand up and swipe a picture off the drawer to walk out and meet the guys in the courtyard of the apartment complex.

“Sorry,” you interject when they notice you approaching. “It took longer than expected.”

“It’s all right,” Choso quickly assures you. “Take the time you need. She’s your daughter.”

You flash him a sweet and thankful smile, making him blink repeatedly as if in shock before he offers you a very faint timid smile.

Itadori catches the interaction but thinks nothing of it until he notices Choso intently follow your figure with his eyes until you reach the small pyre in the middle. Now he might not be the smartest guy when it comes to these things, but he knows pining when he sees it. (Or when it’s obvious). And he sees that now so he can’t help but snicker to himself under his breath.

“All right,” you interject loudly and snap a spark of fire to the wood to light the small pyre with just your hands. “Tonight we’re going to do a funeral practice a sorcerer tribe from the Arctic taught Aoi, Yuki, and me a few years back.”

You step back and pull out a picture of Nanami, the twins, and you from your pocket.

“We will welcome them back to our lives by burning what reminds us of them instead of saying goodbye forever,” you speak softly and continue to admire the picture Nanami didn't want to take, but did anyway because you insisted.

“Why?” Itadori mutters.

You let out a deep breath and walk back to fall by his side. “The people of the tribe believed that the ash and the sparks from the items that float to the sky form a path to welcome our loved ones back into our lives,” you share and look at Itadori, seeing his bottom lip tremble as he crumbles a movie ticket in his hand.

“I don’t deserve it,” he confesses in a shaky voice. “I don’t. He’s dead because of me, and Kugisaki…” he trails off and plops himself on the ground to hide his face in his hands.

You steal a glance from Choso and notice his desperation to have his brother feel better, so you don’t protest against what he asked of you yesterday and sit down next to Itadori.

Instead of breaking the silence though you linger in it and watch the fire eat away at the wood logs. When the wood crackles and gives off sparks you quietly speak up.

“As you know Nanami and I had another best friend when we were in school…we were just like you and your group of friends, inseparable and always supporting each other in dark times that hunting curses brings. He was…” you smile to yourself as you recall Haibara. “Like you, a charming smile, and a way to see the good out of bad situations. He was the best of us and only wanted to be a sorcerer because he had the power to help others.”

Tears well in the corner of your eyes, but you don’t let them fall, you smile softly instead until Itadori brings up a question.

“What happened to him? Nanami never talked about him, and you never go into too much detail.”

You let out a deep sigh and bend the corner of the picture paper as you recall his tragic end. “It was supposed to be an easy mission,” you start off collected. “One we should’ve easily managed, but it turns out that they were wrong…the curse outclassed us, and at that point, my technique was heavy to use, I…I struggled for a while. We weren’t prepared for the curse, but it caught us off guard, it managed to separate us…” you falter as you grow upset and debate going on.

But you have to, Itadori needs to listen to the point you want to make.

“When I finally escaped and reached Haibara it was too late,” you fight to finish the story while you drop your eyes to your manicured nails Kirara helped you do—“I still hopelessly held onto hope as I cradled him in my arms, but he had died the moment I stepped out to help him.” You sniffle and hear Itadori’s feet shift against the ground.

“Now they’re both gone,” you murmur and look out at the pyre.

“I,” he stammers. “I'm sorry. I’m sorry you had to lose another friend because of me.” He cries.

You scoff and argue against him. “It’s not your fault, Itadori, Nanami would’ve fought you to get you to understand that, and I will too if need be.”

Itadori turns his head to look at you and is caught off guard by the sweet smile that grows on your lips.

“We never really lose the ones we love,” you retell a piece of wholehearted advice Haibara told you. Now it’s not word for word of what he said but that's not the point. “Right now It’s going to be the worst days of our lives, I mean you’ve been living them, but it’s not the end. Even if it feels like we’re drowning, it’s not the end. The people we love will be with us eternally as long we keep fighting to live and keep our hearts. Even if it’s battered and a weeping mess and you want to give up on it, we have to fight to live, when we give up is when we lose it all.”

You reach over and take Itadori’s hand. He looks over at you with his cheeks pampered with tears.

“Keep fighting Yuji Itadori and keep your heart. It’s a precious thing.”

More thick tears stream down the curve of his cheeks and this time you don’t hesitate to lean over and embrace him tightly.

“Grieving is a precious thing too, it means we’re fighting. So cry, get angry but never lose your heart.”

Itadori’s arms are stiff when they’re on you, but as you continue to hold him tightly against you, he eases into the embrace and lets himself cry quietly.

It’s not for long, he doesn’t take long to pull away either, but he lets himself grieve. That’s what you wanted, and that’s what Choso wanted too.

“Now,” you continue on. “Let’s burn our stuff. So we can get inside, it’s getting fucking cold,” you exclaim and run over to the pyre as you hold yourself to shield your body from the nipping breeze.

“Thank you,” a whisper gets carried to your ear. And when you look over you see Choso with a softened expression on his features.

“Of course,” you assure him and place your hand on his shoulder to give it a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

He breathes in at the interaction, and you make the mistake of holding his gaze with a soft look, making your desire drive your eyes to his lips and fill you with the need to close the gap. But you take back control and let his shoulder go to face the dancing flames and fall back to the grieving moment to start the ritual.

One which you all participate in; even Choso who burns a paper with his brother's names on it because he said he had nothing else. Which makes you even sadder.

Itadori burns a movie ticket for Nanami and holds onto hope for Kugisaki. All while you burn a picture of the twins, you and Nanami together. You don’t have the heart to burn anything else.

You barely have the heart to do this, it still hurts too much, but you can’t push it away. You can’t go back to denying the truth, you need to let go and accept their deaths once and for all.

After all, they’re together now, aren't they? Suguru and the twins?

And Nanami can finally know peace. It’s all he wanted.

So it is okay, it’s going to be okay and eventually your agony will dull.

You keep telling yourself that as you stand in the calming silence and watch your items burn turn to ash and sparks that float up to the dark sky.

Eventually, the flames begin to die out and your mind falls silent. It’s all so quiet. And when the last spark dies out, the silence is deafening, but it’s peaceful, so you choose to bring some light to the dark space as everyone remains here.

“I need to confess something. Nanami would’ve wanted me to,” you whisper and scratch the back of your head to pretend to be serious. “I used to be…addicted to soap.”

“Hm?” Itadori immediately probes

“But,” you continue and let a smile start tugging on your lips. “I’m clean now.”

You look at the guys at your sides and see them both looking at you with questioning looks while you snort and break into a chuckle.

“Oh, I see,” Choso whispers and scoffs softly before his lips break on a smile that then leads to a rumbling chuckle.

You don’t know if he truly got it, but you don’t question him, you laugh harder along with him while your heart does flips out of pure joy that you got to finally make him laugh.

Now all that is left is Itadori.

And much to your surprise, he begins to snicker before he lets himself get lost in the moment too. Either out of genuine humor, or the high of the moment, but he laughs. And after a while, you all seem to forget why you’re laughing, you just get drunk in the moment.

Up to the point, your phone ringing interrupts the moment.

“Ah,” you gasp for air as you calm down. “I’m going to take this.”

You walk off and when you check who’s calling you smile and quickly answer. “Master!”

“Gojo, how are you doing?” She greets you.

You shrug. “I’m…good.” You share slowly. “You tired of hiding yet?”

Yuki groans. “Yes, but I suppose studying Maki Zen’in makes up for it.”

You hum and come to a stop by the back door. “So,” you press, knowing this isn’t just a simple call to catch up. “What’s up?”

Silence comes through for a moment before she sighs and answers with a lighthearted tone. “I have some good news.”

You gasp dramatically. “You killed Noritoshi Kamo and I can go back home with my daughter and brother?” You sass her.

Yuki chuckles. “Not exactly. Are you alone?”

You peer back and see that the guys are keeping their distance, but you still walk inside to talk nonetheless. “I am now…what’s wrong Yuki?”

Said woman lets out a deep breath and at that moment you have a feeling it isn’t anything good.

“We’ve come up with a plan that involves you working with…Yuta Okkotsu…”

Her words drown out and you feel your heart pang at the simple utter of his name.

“Okkotsu?” You cut her off coldly. “The man who killed my husband? You want me to work with him.”

“He didn’t kill Geto,” Yuki argues in his defense. “Your brother did. You know that.”

You shake your head. “Perhaps, but Satoru had to after Okkotsu wounded Suguru to the point of no return. He’s the reason why Suguru is dead, Yuki. He’s the reason why…” you trail off and huff out angrily. “I won’t work with him.”

“Y/N,” Yuki presses harshly. “Stop being a selfish brat. This goes beyond you and your grudge. This can lead to a way to help Yuji Itadori and Satoru Gojo. Do you understand? This isn’t about you. This is about our society, our livelihood. The lives of the students you love, of the child you have, and the family you cherish. I know it isn’t something you want, but it’s something you have to do.”

She’s…right. Even if it hurts to admit, she’s completely right.

“What do you have in mind?” You grumble and basically hear her smile.

“Thatta girl. Well,” she sighs. “It’s a secret mission to kill Yuji Itadori.”

Your face falls and you quickly spat back. “You’re insane. Being stuck in one place has made you insane. I’m not—I made a promise that I don’t intend to break. He’s a kid too who deserves—”

“Okkotsu won’t really kill him,” she cuts you off. “He’ll bring him close to death and revive him at that exact moment. It’s an easy and quick mission and all I need from you is you to lead Itadori to the trap.”

You shake your head and pull out a cigarette to slide it in between your lips. “Yeah, remember the brother I told you about? He doesn’t leave his side, and the only time he does is when he’s with me—”

“Doing what?” Yuki teases, making you scrunch your nose in disgust at her behavior.

“When we're talking, when we’re hanging out,” you explain yourself, but she laughs nonetheless.

“Ah, I see. I do. And it’s okay. It’s been too long for you, you’re drying—”

“I’ll burn you,” you blurt with annoyance. “Shut up. It��s…hm. We’re friends, so focus. How do I get rid of the brother?”

Yuki hums. “You don’t have to, Okkotsu can handle him as long as you let him. All that needs to happen is you leading him to the right spot to let Okkotsu work.”

You give your back to the door and light the cigarette in between your lips. “They’ll expect me to fight with them, I can’t just let them think that I’m betraying them,” you bring up and draw in a puff.

“That’s where Miguel comes in,” Yuki says, making you feign a laugh and shake your head.

“I’m not talking to Miguel,” you sneer. “He lied to me. They both did. For months they kept Noritoshi a secret. And it’s not that I'm angry about that, I’m angry because they didn’t tell me. They didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

“Y/n,” Yuki sighs. “You know that’s not it.”

You drag in a deep puff and let all the smoke come out first before you comment on the matter. “It doesn’t matter. They still didn’t tell me. They thought they were doing the right thing but ended up making the wrong choice.”

“Well,” Yuki mutters. “Suck it up. He’ll pull you away and you’ll follow him alone. Can your boys let that happen?”

You hesitate to answer even if the answer is obvious. “Yes,” you whisper and drop your head. “So when does it all go down?”

“The ninth,” she reveals. “Just live a normal day, don’t bring up any suspicion. And in the evening when it’s time, Okkotsu or Miguel will text you.”

You scratch your forehead with your cigarette in between your manicured fingers and sigh with frustration. “All right, but I better be closer to getting my brother back after this.”

“Yeah, that’s the plan too,” she assures you. “I promise we’ll get him out.”

You nod and stick the cigarette back in between your lips. “All right, master, I understand what needs to be done.”

Yuki hums gleefully. “Good girl. I swear it’ll all be worth it okay?”

“Mh-hm.”

“Don’t try to kill Okkotsu, okay? Chin up, and tough it out like I taught you.”

You muster a soft smile and nod. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Put that damn cigarette out,” she scolds you without even needing to see you committing the act.

“Eh,” you groan.

“Goodnight, I’ll call you tomorrow,” she says.

“Goodbye, and I’ll look forward to it,” you redirect.

Yuki scoffs softly. “You better.”

You share a soft laugh and proceed to hang up the phone first. Once you’re surrounded by the silence of the hall you avoid looking out the door and grumble to yourself out of frustration, “damn it.”

——

*A COUPLE DAYS LATER*

“Okay now it’s your turn, I can’t be the only one talking,” you tell Choso as you stop in the vegetable section to look at some cabbages. “The question doesn’t have to be too thought out. Something…” you trail off and peer back. “Simple.”

You return your gaze to the cabbages and pick up one to study its quality. Once you’re sure it’s good, you bag the cabbage and turn to place it in the cart, noticing that Choso is still thinking hard. But rather than filling the silence while his head tries to come up with something, you grab the edge of the cart and continue forward until you remember something and turn around sharply.

“Sorry I need something from the front before I forget it,” you throw out hurryingly.

Choso doesn’t complain and continues to push the cart as he continues on thinking as if it’s some damn test.

“Just say a question man,” you hurry him up.

However, you reach the aisles by the checkout stations and he still doesn’t think of something.

“Ahh,” you fawn over what you find. “Momiji Manju!” You show off to Choso excitedly. “The only reason I like the fall is for these. Which is why I’m getting all three flavors.” You throw multiple packages in the cart and Choso finally interjects.

“I have one…”

“About time,” you mumble and grab the cart to guide him away.

“Uh…what’s your favorite color?” He asks.

You look at him with an excited smile and compliment his simple question. “That’s a good one. And mine will have to be brown,” you reveal and look at the target you’re driving him to. “But like a rich brown. The kind of brown when it’s hit by the sun. That brown. It's like it’s holding the sun,” you muse and look back at him with a soft smile.

Choso hums, and you point your chin at him. “What about you?” You redirect.

Choso shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t have one.”

You laugh softly. “Just say the first one that comes to mind. I know you have one.”

Choso averts his gaze and sighs deeply before he parts his lips and blurts. “Red.”

You hum and walk back to be at his side. “You know,” you add smugly. “That you can tell a lot about someone by their favorite color?”

Choso’s eyebrows furrow slightly.

“Red,” you continue. “It means that you’re passionate, fierce, impulsive, and powerful. Which,” you point at him. “All fits with you.”

Choso’s cheeks grow red and his chest rises as he holds your gaze.

“And brown,” you add. “Well, I can’t say because it’d be biased.” You chuckle and snap your attention to the sunglasses rack to skip over there and take two to put one on you, and then return to Choso.

“Look at me,” you order, and he listens right away, letting you easily slide on the sunglasses over his eyes. “Wow,” you beam. “Look at us. I think this deserves a picture.”

You pull your phone out and quickly press the camera app before you throw your arm around his shoulders and press your cheek against his to snap a picture of him and you.

After you take a couple you check on them and press on the one you like the most.

“Cute,” you show off with a happy smile.

The corner of Choso’s lips tug to a faint smile but you don’t linger on his sweet gesture because your heart is already over the moon and you’ve been doing a terrible job to discourage your heart and mind from swooning any further.

“Hey, uh,” you bring up nervously and turn the cart to head back to the aisles. “What did Itadori want again?”

Paper crinkles before Choso answers. “Chips, and instant noodles.”

You hum, “well we’ll get his noodles right now and his chips when we’re on our way to pay. Do you want anything? I’ve noticed you like snacking on peanuts, we can get them.”

“Uh…no,” he says bashfully. “It’s all right.”

You slow down as you roll in an aisle and pick up some chicken. “How about meatballs tonight, hm?” You ask.

“Yeah sure,” he answers nonchalantly so you get discouraged and put the chicken back to instead continue moving forward, leaving Choso puzzled.

“I don’t understand,” he mutters.

“Yeah sure,” you mock him. “It’s okay if you don’t want some. We can make something else,” you argue and he’s only more confused.

“I said yes,” he counters.

“But not with much enthusiasm, it’s like when you ask me if I want to play chess,” you bring up. “And I say “I suppose,” so you double check with me until I say “yes”. Do you understand now?”

Choso sighs and nods. “Yes.”

“We can make something else, sushi maybe, or rice balls, stir fry?” You suggest.

“Meatballs are fine,” he says, making you peer back to tease him.

“How hard was that?”

Choso draws out a deep breath and groans quietly, making you snicker.

Alas, your amusement falls when your phone buzzes and you see Miguel sent you a message.

Miguel: Be out by 6. I’ll send a general location, and the street I’ll be on so we can go off and talk.

A frown forms on your lips and no matter how much you want to deny him or leave him on seen you answer, dryly.

You: ok

“Are you…all right?” Choso catches you off guard.

You put your phone away and look at him with a feigned assuring smile. “Yeah, just messages from people at home. That’s all.” You lie, and he studies your face hard, but ultimately catches nothing so he doesn’t probe.

“We can go out hunting for curses before dinner, that way we have more of an appetite,” you try to make an excuse for your plan.

“Yes that’s fine, I don’t mind,” he falls for it with ease, which makes you feel bad because you can’t tell him what’s going on even if as if late you’ve found that you don’t hide much from him, and he doesn’t have anything to hide so he’s always honest with you. And how are you repaying that now?

By not being honest about this.

And you know it’s not some big important secret that will make anyone upset, but you still feel bad that he’s out of the loop over plans centered around his own brother.

“Itadori and Noritoshi mentioned you’re popular,” Choso brings up hesitantly. “Are you sure you won’t be spotted by your family?”

You shake your head with a small smile painted on your features and ignore how your heart just gushed by his concern. “Nah, we’ll be out of the store and on our way home if they do see anything anyway…what else did Noritoshi say about me?” You can’t help but query.

Choso stays quiet for a moment before he shares with rising anger detectable in his usual nonchalant tone. “He didn’t share much. My theory is that he did that on purpose so we could believe his role as your husband Suguru Geto.”

You drop your head and confess above a whisper. “Yeah, and his mistake was that Suguru would never bring up the idea to hurt me.”

“Well he was surrounded by the disaster curses that only knew the things that would come out of his mouth,” he grumbles. “He manipulated all of us.”

You glance over at him and see that he has his fists clenched and his face scrunched with anger.

“Fathers really are the worst,” you try to comfort him by relating to him whilst you take the sunglasses off and fiddle with them.

“Yes…they are,” Choso quietly agrees, causing you to lift your head to look at him.

And the moment your eyes land on him and you see him still wearing the sunglasses, you can’t help but grin at him as you find him adorable and hot.

Choso doesn’t notice your obvious admiring stare and the only reason you expose yourself is by grabbing his wrist. “Cho,” you pull his attention to you so you can capture a picture of him.

“Look at that you’re photogenic,” you point out and show him the off-guard photo that makes him blush and look away.

You smirk even if you shouldn’t be so proud and giddy. “Just a couple more things and we can head out,” you let him know.

Nevertheless, after doing what you said, the moment you get back to the apartment complex you both come to an empty house and a note in the kitchen left by Itadori

“You guys took too long. I headed out to hunt curses. -Yuji.”

Damn, damn.

“We could get start dinner—”

“No,” you cut Choso off and rush towards your room to change into better shoes since that’s all the time you have to spare, you keep on your light long-sleeved two-piece set—“Let’s go find him first.”

He better not be far or else this could end up ruining the damn plan.

You to Miguel: Sudden change of plans, heading out now, I’ll send my location soon. Be on standby.

Once you’re outside you depend on Choso to use his technique to lead you to Itadori without trying to be too pushy or suspicious.

However, perhaps you aren’t good at masking your emotions, or Choso got good at reading you after living with you in a small apartment for 9 days. “Is everything alright?” He asks.

You turn your phone off after sending Miguel your location and nod eagerly. “Yeah, yeah. Why the concern?” You ask with a narrowed and questioning gaze.

Choso’s eyes study your gaze before he responds. “Every time you check your mobile device you seem to grow upset.”

His attention to detail catches you off guard, and it makes you want to share the plan with him, but it’s so close to being over so you tough it out.

“Just my family trying to talk to me,” you share a partial truth. “I still don’t feel like talking to them, but they’re pushy, and it’s pissing me off. That’s all.”

Choso holds your gaze and nods with hesitation. “Oh…okay.”

You hum and quickly focus your attention ahead. “We’re coming close to a tunnel. Is he close?”

“Yes, very close,” he says and picks up his pace to turn the corner and walk down to the tunnel, letting you pull your phone back out to update Miguel.

You: Approaching the tunnel.

You hit send as you turn the corner, and keep your attention on the phone to wait for a reply.

Miguel: I’m on my way. Be there in five.

You sigh deeply and put your phone away to refocus on the matter ahead, seeing now that there’s large monster-like curses in the tunnel and Itadori is getting chased by them.

“Choso!” Itadori yells out.

You run over and get ready to help, but just as you lift a finger Choso claps his hands together and mutters a cursed technique. “piercing blood.”

In the blink of an eye, blood shoots out of Choso’s hands, and impales multiple curses right through the head, managing to exorcize all but one with ease.

So with the desire to help, you break into a sprint. And just as you’re about to reach Choso’s side you slide forward as you summon wind.

“Lashing wind,” you mutter your technique maliciously and lash a gust of wind out towards a red four-legged curse that exorcizes them.

“Yuji,” Choso calls out.

However, before he can finish what he wanted to say a curse with wings catches you all off guard.

Alas, just as Choso and you get ready to fight it, Itadori sprints over at an impressive speed and rams his fist through the curse, sending it back against a cement wall and spilling blood with his punch alone. He doesn’t even need to swing another time, the curse dies and turns to nothing but smoke, leaving you impressed. Even after seeing him do the same moves for the past 9 days.

“As impressive as ever little brother,” Choso interjects as he walks over to him.

“Are you still calling me that?” Itadori counters.

You walk towards them slowly as you wait for Miguel to show up.

“I’ll keep calling you that, over and over,” Choso tells him seriously. “Try to recollect, after all, your father had stitches on his forehead didn’t he?”

Before Itadori can answer, your name is called out, “Y/N!”

You look back with dread and meet Miguel’s gaze just a few feet away.

“Damn,” you mumble and look at Choso and Itadori while you start walking towards Miguel. “I’ll be right back, all right?”

Choso steps forward and looks at you with a hardened concerned look. “Do you want us to come with you?”

You shake your head. “No, I’ll catch up with you two. I won’t take long.”

Choso seems hesitant and cautious as he glances over at Miguel, but he doesn’t argue.

“All right,” he mutters. “If you need help, let us know.”

You can’t help but smile faintly. “I will,” you assure him. “But I’ll be okay. He’s family.”

You face Miguel as you get closer to him, but feel the need to look back so you do so and catch Itadori and Choso watching you retreat.

Which makes you feel bad for what’s about to happen, but it’s for the greater good, so you suck it up and follow the plan.

“Okkotsu?” You ask Miguel when you’re by his side.

“He’ll be here,” he says. “He’s close by.”

A/N- Choso and Mc try not to make it obvious that you guys are pining over each other challenge—IMPOSSIBLE—Also Naoya interaction next chapter 🤔

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest

50 notes · View notes