#Core childhood trauma memory formed right there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

is-the-owl-video-cute · 5 months

Note

If we're on the subject of DID, what's your opinion on endogenic "systems?"

Did you not see the post I just reblogged earlier about how trying to root out “fakes” in any illness, physical or psychological, is inherently harmful to our communities?

You’re able to conceive of the fact that the human mind can be fractured in a way that creates more than one consciousness in the same brain but you can only conceive of that happening in one specific way?

Besides that, you do realize that there are multiple dissociative disorders that are not DID, right? OSDD? DDNOS? Both of which are umbrellas encompassing SEVERAL dissociative disorders distinct from DID.

But finally, even if you do believe it’s impossible without childhood trauma at a very specific window, have you ever for the slightest of moments, I don’t know, wrestled with the whole part where amnesia related to traumatic events is a rather keystone piece of DID? That part where a typical DID system forms alters as a means to cope with a core trauma and that alters do not always share memories, some reporting that they have protective alters that limit what memories the host or other alters in the system may access? Have you considered that systems who say they formed without trauma may simply have forced themselves into forgetting the memory of it as a defense mechanism?

Though, again, if something like schizophrenia can be inherited, and it does in fact tend to show symptoms in children who aren’t even old enough to speak implying it isn’t necessarily linked to trauma or outside factors at all, if you acknowledge a person can be born with a disorder that causes severe and consistent hallucinations, is it really that hard to believe a person could in fact be born as, well, more than one person? Is your perception of the human mind that two-dimensional that you think the mind to react predictably in a specific way only in response to a specific stimulus? We don’t even know how the human brain works in full and you’re over here trying to diagnose (or un-diagnose?) random teens on tumblr because you think them applying to themselves a label that makes sense to them is harming any of you?

50 notes · View notes

writingquestionsanswered · 3 months

Text

Later Reveal of Past Trauma

Anonymous asked: My character was neglected in childhood, but the story's main conflict is war and related smaller-scale conflicts. A friend's remark shakes the character's worldview, making him realize his upbringing was not normal. Then the war breaks out and doubles the grief of the past he never had along with the future he's now lost. He spends the rest of the story, right until the climax, running from his grief, too heavy to face. The neglect of his past is revealed later on in the story (gradually), but I'm worried the reader won't understand the core conflict until that reveal begins. How could I resolve this?

[Ask edited for length]

It sounds like your story has both an internal conflict (effects of past childhood trauma) and an external conflict (the war). Typically, in stories with both internal and external conflict, the two conflicts work together, each one informing the other. Your character's internal conflict informs how they navigate through the external conflict, and the external conflict helps to propel them through the evolution and resolution of their internal conflict. Ultimately, the moment the resolution of their internal conflict coincides with their ability to resolve the external conflict once and for all.

However, here it sounds like you have an internal conflict that is separate from your external conflict, almost like you have two different stories, and you have to be careful about that... because you don't want to kick off this interesting internal conflict (realizing childhood wasn't normal), then abandon it to kick off an interesting external conflict (the war breaking out), then abandon that to have your character running around avoiding this unexplained grief.

I think the first thing you might want to consider is why you feel it's necessary to hide the reality of this character's past trauma from the reader for so long? If you're looking for an exciting plot twist, that's not it. But there are ways you can build on the childhood trauma to create a plot twist if that's what you're looking to do. For example, if you start the reveal of the neglect as soon as the friend's remark makes them question the normality of their childhood, you can build that grief as they start to compare their childhood experiences with observations and realizations about what would have been normal instead. You can still have them run from that grief and try not to deal with it, but on some level that grief should still be lurking at the back of their mind, forcing some level of ongoing processing. And that can come at the hands of realizations and observations that occur alongside the experiences they have as they try to run from that grief. Then, maybe in that "dark night of the soul" moment ahead of the climax, you can have them discover something or learn something that turns the whole internal conflict on its ear. Like, maybe they discover some mind-blowing reason behind why the neglect happened, or some staggering discovery about the people who raised him... this is where you can find a twist. And if you can find some way to relate it to the external conflict and/or the climax, all the better.

At the very, very least, it would be important to find some way to hint at the neglect from the friend's remark onward, even if the outright reveal occurs later... and at that point, maybe the reveal comes in the form of a newly surfaced memory that illustrates just how bad the neglect was. Then it's not so much a twist but a heavy, impactful moment.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

LEARN MORE about WQA

SEE MY ask policies

VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts

COFFEE & FEEDBACK COMMISSIONS ko-fi.com/wqa

#tw neglect #tw childhood trauma #tw trauma #tw war #wqaadvice

32 notes · View notes

ignitesthestxrs · 4 months

Note

it is funny that I think i would have fully agreed with you if i had only read the grisha trilogy but the first book i ever read of the entire grishaverse was demon in the wood lmao. then i read the trilogy and then kos too. but i still agree with the 'he was incapable of making the world a better place' argument but disagree with the 'he never wanted to' because i think he did but not in the heroic 'i will give up anything to make the world better' but in the 'i will make the world better by ruling it and sometimes when i make choices so selfish that they don't align with the make world better thing at all i will explain them away as necessary and go by my day'. i also think his psychology kinda has a right to be fucked up (as his initial motivation has been set up to make a safe sanctuary for grisha and then he saw persecution for so long and all of those things with kings and what not would make most people fucked up) but that doesn't mean anyone else has to carry that burden. alina had full right to defend herself and the people and did right by not making aleksander more powerful because the result would have been even more destruction. i think he did some things with double motives: the second army was for the benefit of grisha as well as his own. he also wanted people's love because he thought he deserved it for all of his sacrifices for them.

it does seem that you have misinterpreted what i've said.

obviously i don't have an eidetic memory of every post i've ever made about the darkling over the years, but in the post i reblogged today and the ask i answered, i didn't say that he never wanted to?

the interesting point of tension in the character is the difference between what he says he wants, and what his actions show he wants. the man is lying to everyone, including himself. do i believe that when he was a teenager being persecuted for his power, he wanted to make the world a better place for grisha? sure, but 800 years have passed since then and he is literally the most powerful grisha in the world. he can cut people in half with his willpower. he has actively made the world worse - he has certainly made ravka worse.

he is not interested in saving grisha, he is interested in bending the world to his will in the name of saving grisha. this is the excuse he uses for himself, and it's the thing he tells alina, and also the world, in order to try to convince people that his atrocities are justified. but he will discard and kill any grisha who stands against him, he will cause a civil war between grisha within ravka because he can't stand the idea of grisha have safety, power, or agency without him.

he doesn't want to save the grisha, he wants to own them. i do think you can say that he wants to create a place where grisha can't be persecuted by non-grisha, but also he had 800 years as the darkling to implement a strategy, and the idea he came up with was 'weaponise the fold so the world is so terrified of my superweapon that they'll do anything i say'.

a really important part of reading comprehension is parsing the difference between what a character says and what they do. another important aspect is understanding that a well-written character will like, change. the events that motivate the darkling in Demon in the Woods are different then what is motivating him in the original trilogy, because in that time he has gone from being a persecuted teenage boy, to being the power behind the throne who has devastated his kingdom and is in control of an entire army. yes, his childhood trauma informs and animates a lot of his decision making, and obviously forms a core part of his character, but the character has had other experiences since then that have formed additional aspects of his character. Demon in the Woods doesn't rewrite what he did in the trilogy, it adds additional context to show us how he got to be the particular type of dude he is when we see him in the books.

i would also push back against the idea that he wants 'love'. he could have had love! alina loves him, such as she is able to when he's trying to destroy everything she knows lol. he doesn't want love, he wants devotion. he wants unwavering loyalty. that's why he put a collar on her, and why he ultimately loses his mind over her opposing him instead of just holding out for another human lifespan.

like sure you can make the argument that his understanding of what love is is flawed, which, sure. i think he can want love ambiently, in the 'it would be nice to be loved' sense. but his own actions show that, when asked to choose between love and power, he'll choose power every time. so like, does he want love? maybe, i guess, but not more than he wants power. not more than he wants to be able to control alina, and his mother, and ravka, and the world.

again, that tension is the interesting thing about the character. he says one thing, but does something that disproves the thing he says. that's the manipulation, not only of alina, but of the reader. he wants so badly for everyone to believe that he's righteous and good and the only person who knows what the world really needs, he's even convinced himself of that to a degree. but the second things escape his control even a little bit, he proves himself a liar, because his goals immediately pivot to getting that control back.

a villain doesn't have to believe he's a villain to behave like one. the darkling is a pretty classic manipulative, abusive kind of character who will make every bad thing he did a reasonable action that someone - typically alina - pushed him into. she made him burn down that orphanage. he never would have attacked the prince's birthday party if she had just come with him quietly. if she hadn't run away from him, he never would have collared her. if she didn't love mal, he wouldn't have tried to kill him. if she would just behave then he wouldn't have to hurt her like this. he's doing this for the sake of the world, don't you see? you don't? fine. make him your villain. he'll make that sacrifice if it means getting his way saving ravka. he's the only person in the world willing to do what it takes.

eventually you'll see.

#grisha meta #what year is it

13 notes · View notes

potato-cerealkiller · 5 months

Text

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 a negotiable number of tags

tagged by @zukoisblorbo :)

Damian Wayne. dc. i am an absolute sucker for human weapons who learn to be more than their past. the fact that his character development is imperfect and riddled with human mistakes makes me so insane. i just love that his palatability is seperate from his relative moral soundness, he isn’t a perfect abuse victim and i just love it. 10/10 he spins on my blorbo lazy susan a lot.

Bronya Zaychik. honkai impact. this was an og og fandom for me, but i do still love her. the supposed ‘lack of emotions’ she exhibits is very relatable to me as someone who probably has some form of alexithymia, the fact that she is nonetheless accepted by her friends and is portrayed as a complete human being just gets me so bad. also fits into the human weapon archetype <333.

Ranpo Edogawa. bungou stray dogs. i just adore him! similar situation to bronya where he isn’t told he has to fundamentally change himself to have a loving support system. his flippancy towards extraneous things like adult responsibilities, and his inability to understand the reasoning behind social conventions does remind me of myself at times. but as aforementioned, my favourite part of his character is probably that individuality doesn’t have to be sacrificed for success or respect! maybe i will catch up on the recent chapters some time…

Chongyun. genshin. social masking allegory and legacy character… i have a similar approach to fielding my emotions, and while I don’t have a decades long legacy to live up to, I find the way he has to navigate succession in his own way very interesting. he was also my first main, so!

Wanda Maximoff. marvel. similar thing to damian in the fact that she is an imperfect person who does not have an idyllic path to redemption and heroism. she’s messy and desperate, but that doesn’t make her undeserving. kind of love the position she’s in right now where she just has this quiet wisdom from all she’s been through. scarlet witch (2016) also has a special place in my heart for the second comic i ever read (shout out to the runaways for being the first).

Andromache. the old guard. immortals!!! love examining the impact of time on personhood, as in a ridiculously prolonged span of time, and boy is she fascinating. she’s completely jaded at this point, and only really existing rather than living. she almost becomes a product of time rather than an entity born from its passing. it’s just so interesting to see a character so entirely devoted to a cause through obligation, because what else can she do?, the only thing she remembers is how to fight.

Fushiguro Megumi. jujutsu kaisen. i love how much of a deranged mess he is. watching him have to unlearn his suicidal tendencies was so fucking interesting. he has this cool arrogance to him that makes him eminently unlikeable, but he is still a fundamentally good person at his core. for some reason my memory really failed me here? so not much to say, but I remember liking him.

Xie Lian. tgcf. innately good person despite his trauma! i love characters like this and i thought him fighting a literal manifestation of his past, more selfish self, was a fun way to signify his growth.

Homura Akemi. madoka magica. one of my childhood favourites. i watched this series at age seven and it probably severely impacted my psyche. her loneliness turned obsessive attachment and love is utterly heartbreaking to me. her unquestionable and desperate devotion to madoka is just. agghhh. the way that she needs her so intensely that she’s willing to sacrifice her personhood, the universe itself. ultimate blueprint for toxic yuri 10/10.

Boris Pavlikovsky. the goldfinch. he’s a lot of things but a mentally stable person is not one of them. i find the line he walks between total self annihilation and self preservation very interesting. he represents this kind of pseudo-eternal youth, he always commits to extremes. he doesn’t ever ‘overdo’ it but more because it would hinder his ability to live tomorrow rather than because of any adverse health effects. the fact that he is such an optimist at his core despite everything is just a fascinating contradiction.

tags if anyone wants to do this >>>> @sejaprune @calithilan @sizzlemourner @gladiikal

#in other news do I ever shut up?#no.#I don’t think anyone follows me because I’m stoic though

11 notes · View notes

malikselfindulgence · 7 months

Note

Hello! Not a request but a question. I hope I won’t make you uncomfortable, sorry— but you could please explain to me what systems are? Or sending some links explaining? I have saw it sometimes but never could understand it well… I just want to get informed since some of my moots are and I want to support and learn more about them.

No worries, this doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, and I'm glad you asked!

First things first, every system or person with DID is different with different experiences. I'll be describing some of my own here, but just know it could always be different for others. The best way to support someone is to ask them questions, see what their experiences are like, and try and educate yourself outside of that as well!

Anyone feel free to correct me on anything I got wrong! DID is still seen in a horrible light where I live, which is hard for me, but I've been trying my best to learn

DID/dissociative identity disorder is usually caused by traumatic events in childhood, where the child proceeds to try and distance themselves from this trauma by dissociating, or pushing the events and memories onto another self, thus creating a fragmented sense of identity. This usually causes amnesia as well, due to repressing memories

A system is a body that has dissociative identity disorder/other specified dissociative disorder. There's usually a "host", the core of the body, and "alters", other personalities who diverge from the host

"Fronting" is a term usually used to describe which alter is in control of the body's actions at the time, or most present in the moment. Not all people with DID have such distinct compartilzations, though. Sometimes multiple alters might be fronting, sometimes you might not know at all. Remember that DID is a dissociate disorder!

Alters have a wide range depending on person to person- sometimes they have different interests, names, genders, ages and the like, and sometimes they're a lot more foggy and unspecific than that. People can have even up to 100 alters, or just the one. For me, it's only me and my alter Blaze! He's only chosen a name for himself pretty recently, though.

Remember to ask, if they're comfortable with it, more about alters and their differences. And, again if they're comfortable with it, who's fronting right now so you can differentiate between them. It's a nice way to show you respect their identities and that you care!

Here are some links that go a little more in-depth about the symptoms of DID!

Link 1 ☆ Link 2 ☆ CARRD made by someone w DID!

I talk a bit more about my own experiences with DID down below, but you can skip this bit >.> TW: mentions of childhood sexual abuse past this point

While I am not medically diagnosed with DID, I've had 3 therapists say I have a dissociative disorder and it's highly likely to be DID/OSDD, but since a medical diagnosis like that would literally wreck my life in this backwards ass country lol I don't want it on any of my records [same thing with autism! I was asked to get a formal diagnosis but my mother literally refused]

I formed my alter Blaze due to repeated sexual abuse at school from a teacher, and grooming from an older woman. Blaze was there to help me manage my emotions, and take over when I was too overwhelmed to even speak let alone move or function properly. I know I speak about it in a fairly casual and friendly manner on here, but DID has heavily affected my life. There's things neither me or Blaze can remember, and it scares us. There's days where I feel so far away from my body and I shut down completely because I don't feel like I really exist in the physical world. There's days where I or Blaze look in the mirror and we can't see ourselves, and it's very distressing.

I've been getting much more comfortable talking about it online! The community is very loving and open, and it's helped me and Blaze feel more comfortable. Nobody irl knows this part of me, despite the fact our mom notices the changes in behaviour sometimes, so it's nice having somewhere to talk about it

Me and Blaze been trying to manage our symptoms and relationship better! Things are much much better than they were in the past, especially now that we're far away from our past sexual harassors.

I think that's about it! I hope this helped at least somewhat, and feel free to ask more questions if you've got any! ☆

#malik's asks

8 notes · View notes

sorrowschengmei · 1 year

Text

i think Xue Yang speaks volumes to people who have been brutalised during childhood. making a parallel with Kylo, my other kin.

Kylo had a tough childhood but his trauma was mostly emotional. absent parents, creepy ass mentor figure, being too skilled near his peers and then being isolated, high family pressure etc

that is in itself a huge af source of trauma!! i'm not comparing which trauma is the worse. i'm comparing sources. Xue Yang well, we know he suffered a brutal mutilation motivated by his social class. this is what we KNOW. everyone sees how he acts, kinda puts 1+1 together and conclude the finger was just ONE of his physical [or even sexual] traumas. this is a person who met the power of humankind's fists before meeting the power of its words.

so with Kylo we get a character that represses his emotions [fails ofc], has a lot of pent-up anger that explodes from time to time, avoids people, spirals, self blames. for him, feeling what he feels is wrong. he feels he's damaged beyond repair. his emotions were denied.

with Xue Yang we get a character that lives in a constant adrenaline high, looking for potentially physically [and sexually] dangerous situations to put himself in, that is always ready to be attacked. he was taught existing as a working class person is wrong. he feels the world is damaged beyond repair. his physical existence was denied.

he can't even form the thought in his head that his feelings are wrong or right. for him, just one thing matters and it's THEY are dying, not HIM. if they're dead and he's alive, everything is fine. if they're alive and he died, well, it's not like he can care anymore.

and we need to watch this character since the first time he's introduced just disregard his own physicality, his own humanity in all the ways he can. to flirt with people that want to kill him, to literally say word by word he doesn't fear death, only boredom, to constantly repeat in a mocking [but we know that is true to him] tone that he's a delinquent, a low level cultivator etc.

Kylo copes by trying to hide his trauma. Xue Yang copes by rubbing his trauma on everyone's faces. it's the 'withdraw socially x overshare' thing. the 'i dont want to die, i want the pain to end' x 'yippity yuppity i want to commit scooter ankle'.

and you see, for people who have been brutalised in childhood everything Xue Yang does is PAINFULLY real. you see the funny queer looking unhinged yasss, i see someone so ready to die he doesn't care what's going to happen to him anymore. he'll never commit suicide, bc for this to happen you need to think and reach the conclusion 'i want to end my life'. but his body is so hurt in such a core level that it ceased to fight for self preservation. he will think consciously that he doesn't want to die, but the memories stored in his body are so painful he unconsciously tries to find ways to put an end to the suffering.

and we need to watch this very young man who's clearly DESPERATE for help destroying his fucking life, not even realising what he's doing. i think this is what hurts the most. Kylo is VERY aware of all his bad ideas, and it pains him. Xue Yang is stuck in a trauma thinking pattern so intense that he can't even realise what he's doing is going to be his death.

he can't see a world that isn't this dog eat dog, one finger for a finger, kill them before they kill you mess. his suffering is completely despairing bc he has NO IDEA of what's going on, it just HURTS and he just SCREAMS and gets TRIGGERED and reacts in absolutely primal ways. Kylo knows what he needs to do to end his pain, but he doesn't have the strength to do it. Xue Yang has absolutely NO idea of why it hurts so much, he feels like a newborn who's hungry for the first time: everything is SCARY and OVERWHELMING and CONFUSING.

and what happens then? we need to watch everyone accuse him of murder. to see only the murder. Xue Yang = murder, for 99% of the cast. kill Xue Yang, avenge the murders. simple like that. take the pouch away from him, disable his arm, stab him, he falls down, bleeds to death. end of the trouble. when he's been crying for HELP since the very beginning of the arc, even before the flashbacks.

we need to watch the world, one more time, deny Xue Yang his phisical existence, and see nothing else but a 'delinquent', 'disgusting', 'low level cultivator'.

hell, i think this is what hurts the most. we can just watch. watch ourselves, the brutalised in childhood, cry for help and be seen as nothing more than a threat. to watch our own hypervigilant with trust issues asses ruining every relationship we have, bc the only thing the world taught us was to kill or to be killed. they could've given Xue Yang a second chance. they find him very vulnerable, exposing himself, LITERALLY WITH ALL LETTERS ASKING FOR HELP.

he spent EIGHT YEARS there, resentful. everything was in his past by then- Yao, the night hunts, Nie Mingjue. it was just him, his heartbreak, Yi Town and the pouch.

its like that meme... 'everyone asks WHERE is Xue Yang, nobody asks HOW is Xue Yang' and then they kill him. leave him unburied. the enemy is defeated! clap, clap, clap. moving on. the heroes are busy. they need to commit more justified murders, unlike Xue Yang's unjustified murders aight.

tlrdr

#xue yang #kylo ren #the untamed #the untamed meta #Sorrowful Thoughts #tw child abuse #tw suicide

15 notes · View notes

stillyour-sweetheart · 9 months

Note

Dear Annie,

What have you learned from your past relationships?

WARNING: LONG REPLY AHEAD (lol)

[also, ofc none of what I say applies to abusive relationships. If you find yourself being abused in any way, shape, or form, PLS discontinue the relationship!]

Really listen to your partner, usually a breakup isn’t just one big event that’s happened but a lot of micro events that leave your partner feeling rejected

The importance of childhood trauma and attachment styles

I don’t believe in ‘falling’ in love but more like ‘growing’ in love. To me ‘falling’ sounds too fast and too uncontrolled. I think growing is more intentional, it’s slower. Aim for something that’s sustainable, not something that’ll fizzle out because it’s not built on good foundation.

Love as a choice and not as a feeling. Another way to say this is: feelings are not facts. What I mean by this is that you can feel anxious and stressed out in the relationship (ever heard of relationship anxiety? Well, now you have! And I have it LOL) but just bc you may feel negatively at times doesn’t mean there’s actually a reason for that. Sometimes (depending on your personal traumas) your nervous system will go into hyperdrive in order to help protect you from some perceived danger. You’ll start to try and find reasons to leave or to justify why you’re feeling a type of way. Feelings are not facts. Don’t self-sabotage. Take it from me, please.

How wonderfully scary yet beautiful it is to share your life and yourself with someone. I never wanted to marry or have kids growing up. But when you find the right person, suddenly all these things become more of an adventure and a challenge you’re willing to take because you feel supported in doing so. You feel like you’ll have someone to make the journey worthwhile. It’s a really beautiful feeling to change your mind/perspective like that.

To cherish every moment bc you never know if/when it’ll end

Love without holding back. If you love someone in this moment, on this day, show them. Let them know.

Small acts add up and become big, loving feelings.

The importance of having values and morals align. Interests aligning really helps too and makes things more fun imo haha. I think it’s because I’m kinda niche (? Does that make sense?) so there are specific things I like doing. My ex and I liked the same things so it was fun to go around and have someone to do them with. We never fought about how we would spend our very limited quality time. It was fun, it felt natural. But even with this being said…

Try out new things together because that puts both of you on a neutral playing field, no one is more ‘in control’ or has more ‘power’ when you do something new together. Plus, creating totally new memories with someone you love is just super lovely!!

It’s really important to respect who your partner is at their CORE, not just who they are as a partner towards YOU. Does this make sense? In the same way, they must also respect you at YOUR core and who you are as a HUMAN FIRST.

Tbh... it’s so much easier when your circle (friends + family) like your partner. I know you can’t always find this.. but honestly… it’ll take away so much unnecessary drama and stress. Get the opinions of the people you hold closest to you. Try not to find someone who everyone dislikes lol it’s not cool (or worth it) to rebel (I say this bc I used to think it was cool LOL but hopefully you guys are smarter than me hehe).

Fighting hard (and even often) isn’t necessarily a bad sign or a sign the relationship needs to end. I think of a relationship as two people trying to fight their inner demons, but together. Get through the fights. Learn what works and what doesn’t. Learn how to communicate through them. Learn if it’s best to solve things RIGHT NOW or to give your partner space and revisit the topic later. Learn what triggers them, learn what triggers you. Not to sound like a weirdo, but I personally like fighting with my partner. I want to see them in ‘every season’ of their being. I want to see what they’re like when they’re REALLY mad. Are they rude? Do they make me feel small? Do they stonewall me? Would they call me names? These are things that are scary but you need to see. Fighting styles are always evolving the more that you fight. You CAN fight productively and soon your ‘fights,’ which would fill you with dread and exhaust you, are now serious conversations that you can manage. Remember, winning isn’t the goal. Coming back to that person and showing them that you love and care for them are. (Honestly I can go on and on about fighting/communicating. These were actually 2/3 reasons my ex broke up with me- granted… he didn’t have the patience nor determination to figure things out with me. But it’s a long and convoluted story).

You will make mistakes. You will hurt the person you love. On days, you will even dislike them and they will dislike you. That’s okay. If they’re worth it, keep choosing them and be gracious to yourself.

When you go through hard times, both your and their character will come out. One of the reasons why I am so upset and saddened by my ex leaving me is because he was so good to me in the beginning when things were easy (no fights, everyone got along, all the people in our circle also got along, my family liked him, his family liked me, etc.) but when things got tough, and we had a rough season of a lot of fighting and pent up resentment (on his end, bc he didn’t communicate a lot of how he was feeling towards me), he up and left rather than stay to try and figure things out. Even though he had proclaimed how much he loved me all the time, would say how he’s going to marry me, how he felt ‘so good’ about this relationship and could see it ‘going all the way,’ would pretend to get on one knee and propose to me bc he was ‘practicing’ … all those things fell through the cracks when things got hard. Was he a good boyfriend? Yes- but in the beginning. Could he endure what an actual relationship takes when things get hard and rough between us? No. Real love stays to mend, it doesn’t leave when things get dark. (I am going to brag about myself rn bc I feel that it’s deserved): What did I learn about myself when things got hard? That I’m someone who stays by the person I love. I’m someone who loves hard and true. I love tenaciously. If I say I love you and I want things to work, I’ll do the work. I’ll stay. I’ll fight the fight. I’ll love you the way you are RIGHT NOW, NOT who I hope you’ll be in the future. Relationships are NOT easy , tbh I think being in a relationship is the hardest thing I’ve ever done (and I’m not being dramatic!) but it’s one of the most rewarding and beautiful things you can do. Remember, nothing worthwhile in life comes easy. I feel proud knowing that I didn’t give up and that I gave it my all, even when things got messy. Even when my ex was breaking up with me. I was sobbing and he was extremely emotionally charged, rather than worry about myself I tried to give him water to calm him down, I asked if he wanted to take a 5 minute break from the conversation so he could cool off, I kept asking if he was okay even tho I was the one clearly breaking down. I put him first even when I was hurting- bad. Looking back at how lovingly I acted not only in that situation, but in many where things were going poorly, I know I’m someone I can be proud of that would leave others in awe if they saw how I acted in times of great distress. I wouldn’t have known this about myself had I not been in a relationship.

Give up your ego. There's no worth in keeping it. You'll hurt the person you love. In the same way, try not to be with someone who won’t give theirs up. It’ll just be hard for you, trust me.

Being vulnerable is scary, but it’s worth it. The right person will accept all your flaws and the story that has made you who you currently are today- warts and all.

Even if a relationship ends, there is only one you - and that is your superpower.

Tbh I can go on and on... but I had to stop it somewhere! >.< I’m so sorry my list is so long!

I don’t know what you’re going through or why you asked me this question, but I hope there is something you can take from it.

Thank you for stopping by and for reading. I hope you’re okay. ❤️

#ask #anon #reply #heartbreak

3 notes · View notes

sugarcookiesystem · 2 years

Text

hello first post but im the host max, heres just a quick guide to the sugar cookie system, our alters, boundaries, ect.

we are a traumagenic did system, we have 16 alters currently. we are fictive heavy, and we do not support or really believe in endos. did is a trauma disorder, you need to of had childhood trauma in order to have did. basic knowledge.

anyway, here is a rundown on everyone in our system.

i am max. i am the "core" and the current host. i use he/xe pronouns.

the co-host of the system is our nepeta fictive. he goes by he/she/they/xe + some neopronouns. if you are interested in knowing which in specific, just ask and we can compile a list.

we have 3 protectors, psychical protector jake, who uses he/him pronouns. he is also a soother.

one of our other protectors is sexual/emotional protector star. they are also a trauma holder, and use they/them pronouns.

our last protector is our psychical protector alex. he uses he/they pronouns.

then we have 4 homestuck fictives [side effect of being hyperfixated on a silly webcomic for like 2 years]

aforementioned nepeta.

prosecutor karkat. he rarely fronts because his constant harm to the body. but he is coming around, and he may front slightly more frequently in the near future. he uses he/him pronouns.

caretaker aradia. they are one of two caretakers. they use they/them pronouns.

and sollux. he has formed very very recently, so i am unsure on his role. but he uses he/him pronouns.

we also have a couple other introjects;

memory holder misa, she/her

"little" [not the age of a little but basically one idk] yellow guy [dhmis], any pronouns.

and caretaker dash/rainbow dash [prefers dash], she/her and some neopronouns.

we have a other alters that do not fit in any role, or are dormant so i will not mention them here. but i still count them in the "alter count".

cyber is the only other non-dormant alter that i should mention, he uses he/bot pronouns. unsure on bots role.

anyway, i will most likely post most of the posts on this account. we have other social medias, some have been deactivated bc of some alters having breakdowns, and other things. we may reactivate them, depends. but we have a simply plural by the same user, not being used right now. anyway, thank you for reading this extremely long post.

thank you,

max

3 notes · View notes

tired-ramcoa-victim · 6 months

Note

Hi so. I’m sorry if this isn’t the right way to go about this, I’m just kind of hoping someone can help me?? I’m part of a traumagenic system, and some ramcoa stuff came across our dash yesterday and it struck a cord so I’ve been doing some research to learn more, right? For years we’ve been aware of a specific subsystem in which each member split due to a specific kind of abuse, one of which is RA/MC, and regarding that one specifically we were always just sort of like “that’s odd but he’s still one of us, so let’s not make him feel weird about it,” but in doing this research we sort of just have this… pit in our stomach. Like something’s wrong. And we’re connecting dots we’re not even certain need to be connected, i.e. that aforementioned alter is the only one in that subsystem who was formed from a type of abuse we didn’t (to our knowledge) experience? But we don’t have enough memory of our childhood to be able to accurately and confidently shut down the wondering either?

I’m not really sure what *exactly* I’m hoping for from this interaction. I suppose maybe just, clarification on if this is an experience others have, or if our brain is just… being weird or something idk. And again, I apologize if this isn’t the way to handle this, I just genuinely don’t know where to turn except to others who know more.

How did it struck a core with you? Was it negative, a flashback, guilt, or what?

If you're an actual RA, and MC survivor, more of the system should be affected due to how severe RA and MC are. It won't just be one subsystem. I'm not going to specify how severe, or how much of the system would be affected.

If you're a trauma non specific survivor, you're going to feel odd when researching abuse, and trauma altogether.

It's easy to fall into the belief that you've been through something when im actuality, you've never experienced it. Do not ruminate on memories. Do not overthink things or you're going to screw up a bunch of shit.

Anyway, this is something you need to take up with a professional therapist. I can't help you beyond stating things at face value.

#other

0 notes

stuffthatswrongwme · 11 months

Text

Adoption and Early Core Relationship Memories

aka my origin story.

I won't detail how the first few years of life impact a child and the rest of their life because that's a whole body of research that I haven't explored, but I know it's significant (early parent/child interactions, skin to skin contact, all that jazz).

I was adopted from China when I was 13 months old. According to my parents, the orphanage I was in was pretty crowded. I got the impression that the ratio of care-takers to babies/children was not ideal. I was malnourished when my adoptive parents met me. Apparently once I was in their care, I quickly achieved a healthy weight and met developmental milestones adequately.

Some of my earliest memories are of being very clingy, both to my parents and in friendships. I would often cry at the end of a playdate. When my best friend and next door neighbor moved away, I was devastated (though perhaps no more than any other child would have been). I only participated in overnight camps when my mom could be a chaperone. When I was in elementary school, there was a Fifth Grade Camp that I absolutely dreaded. As I got closer to being a fifth grader, that weekend away from my parents felt like impending doom. I ultimately went and enjoyed myself, but the first full day was very teary and emotional.

I also had some volatile friendships in elementary school, and desperately wanted a “Best Friend”, in all its exclusivity. I found myself protective of my Best Friend when I had one, and jealous when they threatened to become Best Friends with someone else. I often found myself in a trio but always feeling like the third wheel. One of my earlier Best Friends did some particular damage to my fragile eight year old psyche. She was prone to giving me the “cold shoulder”, and I think the most frequent thing I said to her was “are you mad at me?”

Sometimes the answer was no, sometimes the answer was yes. When it was a yes, it was my job to not only win her back, but figure out how to repent appropriately. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I got quite good at figuring out how to repent appropriately. (Spoiler alert, that has made the cognitive distortion of “mind reading” a speciality of mine.)

After elementary school, my friendships stabilized. The most common thread that followed me through high school and even early college was the wanting of a Best Friend- some semblance of exclusivity. What I really think I wanted (needed) was the security that I thought being prioritized would give me.

Fast forward to my junior year of college. By this point, I acknowledged that I was “clingy” and “socially anxious”, but I didn’t know what to attribute that to. I didn’t see adoption as something that was particularly impactful on my life. I was 13 months old and didn’t remember a thing, how much could it impact my life? I met with a new therapist on campus, and after summarizing all of the above and indicating in our intake session that I have “no history of trauma”, he respectfully disagreed. “During the earliest formative portion of your life, you were raised with the expectation that your needs would not be met.” That phrase hit me like a train. While I don’t know the exact details of my time in the crowded orphanage, I'd say he was right. I'm sure I didn’t receive a whole lot of skin to skin contact from a caregiver. I’m sure there were times that my cries for food and attention were ignored, or at the very least, met inconsistently. That was the first time I made any connection between adoption and what I’ve now learned is Preverbal Trauma.

I provided the anecdotes about my later childhood as core experiences that exacerbated the preverbal trauma, though I’m sure they are intertwined. That is, the abandonment anxiety probably made those experiences worse and vice versa.

I’ll go into how the trauma of relinquishment, as I’ve heard some people prefer to call it, impacts my present life in subsequent posts. But as I discover in some new way every day, it’s everywhere. The most obvious place where my abandonment issues (et al) manifest is my attachment style and relationships- specifically, romantic relationships.

If this topic interests you, here are some videos that I found very helpful for validating and understanding my own experience

Lecture on Adoption by Paul Sunderland

Adoption 101 YouTube Playlist

0 notes

reconnectcenter · 1 year

Text

A Guide to Self Care for Trauma Survivors by reConnectCenter

Self-Care for Trauma Survivors

Trauma is a part of life for us all. From the moment we emerge from the womb, we may experience trauma in dozens of different forms. Thankfully, the human mind is incredibly resilient and we adapt in response to trauma. The mind and soul do the best they can to manage stressful experiences and we adjust our behaviors in response to them. However, the ways in which we cope with and respond to trauma can sometimes lead to challenges that persist, even after the initial source of trauma is gone.

This guide offers trauma survivors tools for successful self-care – from recognizing symptoms of trauma to engaging in healthy activities that can promote wellbeing. We hope this resource will help provide both utility and peace of mind, as well as stimulating thought and conversation about trauma recovery.

Childhood Trauma Echoes into the Present

For example, the impact of childhood trauma can remain with us into adulthood. This is one reason why people who are experiencing symptoms of a trauma-related disorder do not always make the connection to trauma as the source. We may chalk the milder signs up to work stress or blame them on something else happening in the present.

The reverberating effects of past trauma often manifest as, such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression, generalized anxiety disorder or other conditions. Self-care is a beneficial pursuit for all of us. It is necessary.

If anxiety, PTSD or other mental health issues are affecting your everyday life, then learning self-care for trauma survivors should be a key part of your recovery plan. Self-care for trauma will supplement the progress you make in treatment. It also helps alleviate anxiety, improve esteem.

Understand the Symptoms of Trauma

Trauma can have a significant impact on a person’s mental and emotional well being. Recognizing the symptoms of trauma is key to taking the necessary steps towards healing and recovery. Common symptoms include anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts or memories, hypervigilance, and avoidance behaviors.

If you or a loved one are experiencing any of these symptoms, know that seeking help is a sign of strength. With the right support, it is possible to work through the effects of trauma and move towards a more fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone, and there is absolutely reason for hope. We understand more about trauma and its effects today than ever before. Trauma treatment has advanced a great deal in just the past few decades.

Symptoms of trauma may include:

Flashbacks

Insomnia or sleeping too much

Difficulties concentrating and retaining information

Intense negative emotions, such as anger or sadness

Heightened startle response to surprise stimuli

Hypervigilance (constantly on guard)

Numbness and difficulty with emotional connections

Avoidance of reminders of the traumatic event

Feeling detached from one’s body and/or environment

Self-destructive behavior, such as substance abuse or reckless driving

Why Self-Care for Trauma Matters

Self-care is a core aspect of living a healthy and balanced life for us all. For trauma survivors, it provides essential comfort, safe harbor from symptoms and centeredness. Self-care for trauma involves taking deliberate actions to promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Attending to the needs of your body, mind and soul must be a priority. This means not only taking steps to reduce stress and negativity in your life, but introducing more experiences which bring you comfort and peace.

Self-care for trauma and self-love are inextricably bound. This means that practicing self-care helps promote self-love and love for self helps encourage self-care. It is important to recognize self-love and self care for trauma as essential. These are not selfish, needy or inconsiderate to others. In fact, taking care of yourself is a must if you want to be able to properly care for others.

If you are a selfless, self-sacrificing type of person you might think of it this way: The better you care for yourself and show yourself love, the more positive energy and love you will be able to give others. Conversely, if you don’t give yourself the care you need and sink into codependency, you run the risk of hurting yourself and you’ll also be less helpful to the people you care about most.

Learning How to Practice Self-Care for Trauma

There are many approaches to self-care. You are the expert on what makes you feel best and refills your soul most. It may be as simple as setting aside time for a soothing bath, a mani-pedi or hot shave at a barber shop.

Self-care can take the shape of physical exercise, practicing mindfulness meditation or TM or even indulging in your favorite hobbies. What matters most is that we are making time for self-care practices and rituals which replenish the body, mind and soul. All three of these areas need to be nourished.

Here are a few categories of self-care practices to consider:

Meditation and Relaxation

Our modern, constantly connected world can make it difficult to find moments of peace and quiet. Mindfulness, Transcendental Meditation, yogic breathing and other relaxation techniques are proven to reduce stress and anxiety. They can even provide some limited relief from chronic pain and improve cardiovascular health.

Choose the methods which work best for you and can be realistically incorporated into your everyday life. All that matters is you have an effective way to find inner calm and balance. Nearly anyone can set aside 20-30 minutes once or twice a day to retreat into their mind palace. The benefits of meditation and relaxation are often underestimated, but once you make them a part of your self-care for trauma routine, you’ll wonder how you ever did without them.

Benefits of meditation and relaxation include:

Lower stress levels

Lower blood pressure

Reduced levels of cortisol (a stress hormone)

Reduced anxiety/greater calm

Greater focus

Healthier sleep

Communing with Nature

We often forget that we are more than mere inhabitants of the natural world, we are a part of it. Humans are animals, after all. Even if you don’t think of yourself as the “outdoorsy type”, time in nature can have a profound effect on how you feel. We’re just wired that way. The sound of a waterfall or waves rhythmically kissing the shoreline.

The smell of earth and flowering trees carried through the forest by a spring gale. The sight of a smoldering amber sunset. These can all bring us a sense of contentment and even joy. Make sure you allow yourself sufficient time to experience the natural world in a calm and peaceful manner, at least a few times a week. Even if a city park is your only convenient access to the natural world, it will do just fine.

Benefits of communing with nature include:

Reduced stress

Lower blood pressure

Reduced anger

Improved cardiovascular health (esp. exercise)

Improved esteem

Increased happiness

Physical Exercise

We are all aware that exercise is good for us. But most people focus on the direct physical benefits of regular exercise. All too often overlooked are the benefits exercise delivers for the mind and soul. Of course, a stronger, healthier body makes you feel better, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

Regular exercise releases endorphins and hormones that affect mood. Just 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise every day can make a noticeable difference in your mood and ability to concentrate. All of these effects can help counteract the symptoms of a trauma disorder and a clearer, calmer mind makes it easier to make progress in your trauma recovery.

Benefits of physical exercise include:

Elevated mood

Reduced anxiety

Lower stress hormones

Increased focus

Better circulation

Improved esteem

Setting Boundaries

One final element of self-care for trauma that’s frequently overlooked is setting boundaries.

Setting boundaries can be difficult but it is necessary for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring your own well-being. It’s important to communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively, while still being respectful and caring towards others.

This may involve saying no to requests that don’t align with your values or taking time for yourself when needed. Remember, setting boundaries doesn’t mean you are disregarding the feelings of others. It means you care enough to prioritize your own needs and values. It is absolutely a form of self-care. By setting healthy boundaries, you’ll have the space to grow and thrive in all areas of your life.

Benefits of setting boundaries include:

Lower anxiety

Improved esteem

Improved confidence

“Breathing room” for self-care

Avoiding “burnout”

Greater sense of self

Help for Trauma-Related Conditions

Taking steps to improve your mental health can be a challenge. But, seeking professional treatment and support can be a transformative and life-changing experience that’s well worth pursuing. Most people with trauma-related conditions and mental health disorders aren’t fully aware of how their symptoms are affecting their lives, where they come from and what can be done to help. No one deserves to suffer from the consequences of unresolved trauma or an undiagnosed or undertreated mental health condition.

At Reconnect, our specialized mental health programs offer intensive trauma and mental health treatment for a wide range of conditions. From major depression to generalized anxiety, PTSD and CPTSD, our behavioral health specialists are dedicated to helping people overcome and live better lives. If you or someone you love is living with a mental health disorder or the symptoms of trauma, we want to help. Give Reconnect a call at (310) 713-6739 today, to find out how we can be of service.

#Trauma Survivors #Mental Health #ReconnectCenter #california

1 note · View note

nirapatelpsychologist · 1 year

Text

“We live only once, but this one life has many faces in form of incarnation.’

-CHt. Nira Patel

Hypnotherapy bridges the gap in understanding the current Life day to day issues & with the Past Life regression therapy, it is one of the most important tool to heal them.

Real Life Case Study:

A corporate employee by name Amish, who is in his early 40’s (Name changed to keep the identity secret) approached me before few days. Amish was accompanied with his Wife Sunita, who insisted her husband to approach for a therapy and seek a proper psychological guidance for which Amish was suffering since a long time and he positively agreed to come for a therapy.

After the cognitive session which extends to couple of sitting, Amish was very positive about the progress and we were able to move ahead for solving the core problem area related to “PUBLIC SPEAKING”

During the deep trance the first memory of childhood appears, a very young 5 years old self which is being bullied in classroom because he was not able to answer the given question. He saw him self very helpless and being scolded by the teacher. This memory was very profoundly graved in his subconscious. After that many thread of childhood memories appeared, where he was choked and was not able to speak, if asked in front of people.

Till date this was hampering the growth in his personal and professional life. The purpose of the therapy was to deal with it and take this trauma point out of the system. Because of this his personal growth was blocked.

Though being on a good post and also with an excellent management skills the progress was stagnant in his professional life. It was due to lake of confidence to present his work.

Because of the lake of public speaking skills, he was not at the position which he deserves. After inner child healing and re-scripting, things got better, but still there was something lacking.

Few days later in another session of Regression therapy, a constructive positive change established in himself.

The change was, he experiences his past life. The year was 1656, he saw himself as a young 17 year old boy in the Middle East and he was sailing with merchants on a ship. But due to sea storm his ship was distorted & he some how could manage to survive and reached on an island. He tries to escape this isolated island but it was next to impossible for him to find any ship or any other sources to connect to the outer world. After many failed attempts he finally gave up and lives rest of his life at the island, all alone, with the feeling of loneliness and grief in his heart when he leaves his body and that lifetime ends.

Post Hypnotherapy session, after two months, one fine day I get a call from Amish, he sounded very happy and contented, with a joyous voice he said “Ma’am I got a Promotion” he also told that he could conduct all important meeting and presentation with all the required confidence, and he can now lead his team with full power. There was no looking back after that. Now he feels good about himself as a strong and self confidence person.

The above real life example shows that when you want to transform your life, there is always a time of healing and finding the right path, that’s all what it matters.

0 notes

xaracosmia · 2 years

Text

ꕥ — WELCOME TO NEFE COSMIA, DENJI. 🌓

ꕥ — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: garth Age: 25 Pronouns: he/him, xe/xem, it/its, she/her ooc contact: sumetal (tumblr), heinously (twitter) other characters in xc: chuuya nakahara / bungou stray dogs, megumi fushiguro / jujutsu kaisen, futaba sakura / persona 5, caster (merlin) / fate grand order

ꕥ — IC INFORMATION;

Name: denji. Age: 17. Pronouns: he/him, it/its. Series: chainsaw man. canon point: chapter 142. app triggers: gratuitous violence/gore, exploitation/manipulation, (child) abuse, grooming, harm/death to minors, suicide, sexual content

personality: Those who meet Denji would probably characterize him based on the distinctive, outward personality he projects: he is stupid, brash, and loud. He is rude, naive, and childish. He is unable to conceptualize smaller details, focusing entirely on the bigger picture because he just simply isn’t smart enough to pick anything apart. Denji is a selfish and impulsive person, violent and deranged when it comes to killing devils, and he’s the type to jump into action- usually with his fists flying- instead of talking or thinking it through. Because of this, Denji is the type of young man who desperately seeks gratification of any kind, and he’s willing to go a long way or to even debase and humiliate himself for attention.

Because of this,to most it would appear that Denji has an incredibly low sense of self-worth and self-esteem. A street mutt only worth as much as he can be useful, Denji desperately seeks validation and attention, both negative and positive, in an effort to force people not to abandon or forget him. He is extremely emotionally compromised- rather from his abusive and poverty-ridden childhood or Makima’s grooming as a teen- and craves recognition and love more than anything, but because he is so damaged, he struggles to realize when people are using and abusing him compared to those who actually care, taking what he can get for any shred of affection.

However, Denji also has a grand wealth of empathy and kindness inside of him, despite his outwardly nasty personality and his broken core. He does not like hurting or killing other people, and will go out of his way to save others if he can. Though he assumes many of his motivations are for gratification, Denji often does kind things because he knows they are the right thing to do or because he cannot stand to see suffering. He greatly fears losing his empathy or his emotions, and wants to retain his humanity despite his status as a half-devil.

He is a good boy.

something your muse struggles with:

His heart. Denji is so emotionally damaged he is desperate for attention, putting himself into bad situations or humiliating himself for the sake of any shred of attention or notice.

His naivety. With no formal education, Denji does not have awareness or knowledge on many common things that others might, making him come across as ignorant or unintelligent.

His personality. Because of a critical lack of socialization in his youth, Denji is brash and loud and hard to get along with. He does not censor himself or his thoughts.

your muse’s greatest strength:

His empathy. Denji has a kind and soft heart despite his outwardly nasty personality. He will jump in to try and save even a stray cat in the middle of a fray.

His strength. Even in his human form, training with the PSDH has made Denji incredibly strong and capable in hand-to-hand combat.

His smarts(?). Though not the most… typically smart kid, Denji is more than capable of thinking of clever and out-of-the-box solutions to his problems.

history / background:

Born the child of an abusive, alcoholic father who accrued hundreds of thousands of dollars in debts to the yakuza, Denji was forced to kill the man as a youth out of self-defence, and the memory was locked away deep in his mind due to the trauma; ruled as a suicide so they could still continue to exploit the money, the yakuza began to blackmail Denji even as a young boy in order to gain their money back from the poverty-stricken child.

Because of this, Denji was forced to sell his own body parts under the black market and to take on odd jobs in order to accrue the money for the yakuza so they would not slaughter him. During this time, he made friends with a dog-like devil who he named Pochita, and the two became fast friends. At this time, Pochita was Denji’s only companion.

After Denji begins to hunt devils for money for the yakuza, the yakuza decide to sacrifice Denji for their master- the zombie devil- and he is murdered; his bond with Pochita reaches even after his death, however, and Pochita sacrifices himself to make a contract to become Denji’s new heart, reincarnating the young boy as the chainsaw devil, and he uses his newfound powers- and newfound life- to begin slaying several more devils that threatened humanity.

Makima, a devil hunter, forces Denji to join the Public Safety Devil Hunters, a government-sanctioned devil hunting organization, and begins to groom him both as her subordinate and as her victim. The abused young boy, whether because of his emotional compromisation or because of his inability to realize when someone is manipulating him, falls deeply in love with the older woman, fueling Makima’s behavior and enabling her to have nigh full control over almost every aspect of Denji’s life within the PSDH.

It is during this time that Denji meets Power and Aki, devil hunters also under the PSDH, with whom he starts a steady and tumultuous familial relationship under Makima’s supervision. The three of them continually slay devils and experience triumphs and defeats, all with Denji hoping that if he is able to finally defeat the gun devil, Makima will grant any one wish he desires.

During a fight with the doll devil, Power and Aki are unwittingly sent to hell for a brief period, causing Aki to lose an arm and regressing Power’s mental state to an extreme, fluctuating case of severe PTSD attacks. Denji and Aki are forced to take time to care for her nearly 24/7, and because of this- and his fear of losing his younger siblings- Aki requests that neither he nor Power and Denji take part in the extermination of the powerful gun devil.

However, due to Makima’s grooming, Denji is convinced to continue on with the mission, and with Power in tow, Aki regretfully accepts that the three of them will all join in on the gun devil extermination.

Unbeknownst to Denji, Makima- exposed as the devil of control- orchestrates the appearance of the gun devil in Japan, where it causes a monumental amount of catastrophic destruction and death. Aki, having fallen under the ‘spell’ of control, is forced to give his body as a sacrifice to the gun devil by Makima, and Denji is forced to slaughter his own older brother figure in order to stop the gun devil from destroying the entire country.

After the fight ends, Power and Denji find that Aki left them a large amount of money, of which they use to buy a new apartment, video games, and food.

And Makima, watching Denji’s spiral, conspires to control her obedient dog’s life even further.

powers / abilities: -Chainsaw. When the cord on his chest is pulled, Denji is able to sprout and rev chainsaws from his limbs and head. Doing so causes his body to physically split and burst where the saws are revealed, and they are ‘powered’ by blood.

inherent abilities: -Half-devil. As a half-devil, Denji sports a greatly enhanced speed, stamina, strength, and endurance. Additionally, he can be healed- even from grievous or deadly wounds- when he drinks blood.

items / weapons: -N/A.

starting ability: N/A.

starting item: N/A.

extra: i will be severely toning down denji’s more outwardly sexual desires, and instead will be turning that into a more neutral craving for attention in general

discord id: a beautiful star#2132

Passcode: i will protect him with my life.

#xc application #nefe cosmia #mun: garth

1 note · View note

writingraven · 2 years

Text

Writing Knowledge

Effects of Trauma

warnings: mental health

↦ everyone experiences trauma differently, but these are just a few ways it may present itself

↦ people may also experience these on a different timeline; for example, hypervigilance may be experienced right after the event, but chronic pain may occur years down the line

↦ effects also depend on age during event (& whether they received adequate treatment afterwards); if it occurred during childhood, someone may not experience these effects until years later when they begin to effectually process the trauma

↦ however you decide to portray it is fully up to you, as the writer, just make sure it connects to them and flows within your story

✹

⇥ avoidance

⇥ chronic pain

⇥ craving control

⇥ cynicism

⇥ decreased concentration

⇥ delusions

⇥ depersonalization

⇥ depression

⇥ derealization

⇥ dissociation

⇥ eating disorders

⇥ excessive intellectualization

⇥ fatigue

⇥ fear of being like the abuser someday

⇥ fear of loved ones being like the abuser

⇥ feelings of emptiness

⇥ flashbacks

⇥ flinching

⇥ generalized anxiety

⇥ guilt

⇥ headaches

⇥ hopelessness

⇥ hypervigilance

⇥ impulsivity

⇥ insomnia

⇥ intrusive thoughts

⇥ irritability

⇥ isolation

⇥ loss of core values/beliefs

⇥ loss of interest

⇥ loss of self identity

⇥ memory loss

⇥ need for sense of security

⇥ negative world view

⇥ neglecting responsibilities

⇥ nightmares

⇥ note: nightmares are rarely reliving trauma; oftentimes it’s anything that recreates the same emotional reaction (fear/panic) from the event; it’s also common to include loved ones doing heinous acts

⇥ numbness

⇥ outbursts

⇥ overwhelming emotion

⇥ panic attacks

⇥ paranoia

⇥ people-pleasing

⇥ poor emotional regulation

⇥ poor hygiene habits

⇥ reckless behavior

⇥ seeking escapism

⇥ self-destructive behavior

⇥ self-doubt

⇥ sex-drive changes

⇥ substance abuse

⇥ suicidal ideation

⇥ trouble forming healthy relationships

⇥ withdrawing

⇥ possible diagnosis: adjustment disorders, anxiety disorders, attachment disorders, depression, personality disorders; (asd, bpd, did, ptsd, etc.)

#writing #story ideas #writing tips #characterisation #characteristics #character #character traits #writing characters #reference #trauma #effects of trauma #writing reference

606 notes · View notes

the-lunar-system · 2 years

Text

So this is going to be. Inarticulate because I'm upset and not ready to cite sources but uh. Episode Five of Moon Knight is so incredibly ableist and pluralphobic its absurd. Hi! We're Jewish, we're a system, we've read some of the comics, and we're here to give a basic overview of *why* this Episode specifically was so horrible.

For starters, what they got right. DID is in fact caused by ongoing childhood trauma, like an abusive parent. Alters form to protect each other from this trauma, often times with some alters who can remember it (Like Marc) and some who can continue to live a normal life free from that burden (Like Steven). Alters often don't know about each other, or some will know and some won't. There being one alter who can fight and protect them and one who can hold down a job and an apartment is also pretty accurate.

What they got wrong: Oh my god literally everything else. Lets break it down.

1) The Core/Original: while some systems do identify with this framework, the majority dont and it doesnt have much backing. DID isnt "there is one person and then a second one forms", it is "before a solid state of personhood is reached (generally as a teen) trauma causes amnesia barriers, causing two or more sets of memories to form, from which two or more persons arise". there is no more an "original" as there is an original cake once its been sliced up to serve, or ceramic plate once its broken.

1b) Marc "Constructing" Steven: Alters don't make each other, it is a process done by the brain itself. DID systems can no more "construct alters" than you can choose to forget an embarrassing memory. its something that either just happens or doesnt

2) Pushing for Integration against the system's wishes. Integration/Fusion is a process where two alters break down the amnesia barrier between them and "fuse" into one person. Some Systems choose this as a treatment option, so that they can effectively become a singlet and function "normally". Some Systems don't, and consider Integration to be more harmful for them. Both of these are fine, but you *cannot* push a system into one if they haven't *all* agreed to it. Marc doesn't want to integrate. He doesn't want Steven to remember the trauma he holds. Forcing them to integrate anyway on threat of essentially hell and the world ending? Is incredibly fucked up.

3) Alter Death. Alters don't die. They can fuse, or go dormant (like a coma, essentially) and their system may *perceive* or refer to this as death, but its not. Steven dying in the show is more of a "magical soul removal" type thing, but this very much isn't something that happens in real life.

4) Overtness. DID is a covert disorder. it exists to keep you safe, its not going to make you even more of a target by making the system switch to a blatantly different accent. While alters do often have different accents when they feel safe enough to show them, they're also great at pretending to be each other, and Steven would at least have had the same accent as Marc when they first split as a child.

Anyway! thats not everything wrong with the show or even this episode but those were the super blatant and potentially dangerous pieces of misinformation I had to correct now. We'll probably make a more detailed/informative/sourced post after the finale.

#Moon Knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #DID #actuallyDID #ableism #moon knight spoilers

384 notes · View notes