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#Dave is totally chill like. Has this happened before
moonamite · 3 months
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borzoilover69 · 3 months
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I have this vivid post-game earth c vision of jake roxy dave and ecto-clone meenah going on clubbing hijinks. Because theyre the only people in the friendgroup interested in doing that extrovert shit and 1/2 of the party gets invited by jake.
Meenah gets into a fight w/ jake bcus he thinks shes actually meenah, but in the end they laugh off the misunderstanding and joke insult each other and exchange socials. She also controls what music they listen to as they drive, and has a rotating door of dancestors who chill w/ them. Wears a lot of black.
Roxy is a bit flakey but she makes the cut cus shes generally chill and gets along w/ people. Shes the one buying bottles of soju from bws and texting in the backseat with her painted nails while keeping up w/ the others banter. Shes chill w/ going w/ the flow. She also manages to find more obscure clubs thru her feed or other mad hacker skillz (lulz). Wears a lot of colourful stuff
Dave got invited by Jake once as a “fuck it why not (and a massive fuck you to dirk)” and ended up vibing w/ meenahs music tastes (they have similiar tastes so shes chill w/ him) so they kept inviting him back. Generally doesnt have anything going on for him post-game so is always down for it, plus is totally trying to hit on jake to some regards. This is mutually beneficial, as jake is full aware of this fact. They are both jackasses full aware of the taboo crossover waiting to happen. Gets along REALLY well with jake after a few drinks. Jake and him generally dont talk in normal circumstances but you bet the minute jake asks if daves free hes getting off the fucking couch to text a reply much to the chagrine of his roommate vantas. Dave is the most basic its either a hoodie and shorts or a tshirt with cargos. Solid colour, little to no decor.
Jake is the passenger princess (part two) drinking before they get to the party and laughing or engaging with a bitching session with meenah. They have a sort of thing going for them in the way that meenah will drag jake into a bathroom and give him a peptalk or grill him for being too hard on himself. Respects her for her shit. BPD solidarity because in return for all the times shes grilled him in a bathroom about how strong he is for putting up with bullshit he receives from other people he in return makes sure to check on her when she isnt doing too hot and takes her out to lunch or something. Also they both bitch about their crazy exes, jake bitches about dirk and meenah bitches about ecto-clone aranea (they met in a psychward). Jake and meenah have an on-going “ill end my toxic relationship if you end yours.”
Roxy and Dave are both well aware this shit is taboo af but also they genuinely do not have that much going for them so its like a nod of respect to the fact theyre the two other gods who enjoy clubbing. Just not being the ones who plan and arrange it. They do like being invited tho.
Dave and Meenah both vape, Jake and Roxy dont. Meenah and Dave occasionally beef but he always ends up back in the crew cus hes usually the loser stuck parking and hes the only one trusted with the music other than Meenah. Meenah is VERY particular about the vibe. No sad songs. No indie. No chill beats. Gotta be high energy. I think she would listen to something like heartbeat by childish gambino or lemonade (feat.nav).
I have more thoughts about it ill prolly elaborate if anyone interested. I have such thoughts abt their fashion and habits. Enough about introverts lets get some extrovert rep.
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xbunnybunz · 2 years
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Stride of Luck (4/?) [Dave Strider X Reader X Bro Strider]
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Summary:
You find an unconscious Dave Strider in a desolate street and allow him to crash at your place, only to find out that he's come all the way from Texas to find his bro, Dirk Strider.
What seems like an easy task soon evolves into something much more complicated when you finally locate Dirk, and realize three things. One, Dave is hot as fuck. Two, Dirk is also hot as fuck. Three, they have the same taste in girls.
“i warned you about the striders, bro. i told you dog!”
Genre: Romance, Humor, Angst, Slow Burn
Author's Note: moving some stuff over from AO3 to here so my readers feel more comfy interacting with me directly <3
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Dinner rolls by deliriously slowly. The table had turned into Tracy’s personal interrogation room, if interrogation rooms were allowed to have stacks of delicious, oily food.
“What do you mean ‘came from Texas?’” Tracy asked. “As in, you moved here from Texas, then you lost your brother here?”
Dave takes a long, noisy and insufferable sip of his pepsi. You can see Tracy’ eye twitch, but Shawna continues to fawn over his “perfect golden ratio phi,” which is really confusing to you because it has the word “ratio” and "phi" in it.
“Nope. I don’t live here. I have Bro, and that’s basically it. We both lived in Houston together until we didn’t, read: he ditched my ass.”
Tracy pondered this heavily, and you eyed her wondering why she was so concerned with Dave. She was usually so reserved, and only gave half a shit about people she cared about. You doubted she saw any reason to try and understand Dave, let alone help him.
“That’s interesting, I assume you two don’t live with parents?”
“Nope. It’s just me and him.”
Perfectly painted nails tick against the polished wood of your table, as if punching something into an imaginary calculator.
“Why did he leave then? And how long ago did this happen?”
Dave leaned back in his chair precariously, dangerously skimming the line between "looking fucking sick, in an ironic way" and "busting my ass, in a totally unironic way." He looked skyward as if the answer was written on the ceiling. “There wasn’t much of a reason he gave, or at least none that I know of. The last I heard of him was from a note he left behind, and there wasn’t an explanation or a date on it. He’s usually MIA so I honestly don’t know when he dipped.”
“You don’t even know when your own brother left?”
Dave didn’t react, but you freaked on on his behalf.
“Woah, Tracy! Chill, what’s the matter with you?”
“She’s fine.” Dave interjected, holding up a hand. “She’s right. I should’ve noticed sooner. That shit’s on me, no doubt.”
Tracy stares him down from across the table, meeting his unfaltering gaze with one of her own. “If you don’t even notice when he’s gone, why’d you decide to look for him?”
“I’m worried. Wouldn’t you be, too?”
“No, because I would’ve realized if someone I cared about disappeared.”
Shawna cringed at Tracy’s tone and receded into her chair with a tiny pout, deciding to become interested in the leftover rice on her plate.
“Tracy..." You warned.
“I said she’s fine.” Dave pushes up his shades, and the way the kitchen light reflects off the glass makes it impossible to see his eyes. “I deserved that.”
She takes this as her cue to continue her not-so-passive-and-mostly-aggressive attack on him.
“Are you really looking for your brother? Because you’re awfully calm for someone who traveled halfway across the country on such short notice to find him.”
Dave opens his mouth to respond, but Tracy cuts him off again before he can.
“Tell me, how much effort have you actually put into finding him? My friend here has been up and down hundreds of search yields looking for a face she’s never seen before, and you’re just watching her fall short time and time again. Can you be bothered to think about your brother for more than the three seconds it takes to Google him? Have you put in any elbow grease to maybe even breathe in the right direction? Do you even really want to find your brother?”
“Okay! Okay. Tracy, let’s go. Stop talking.” You get up and your chair screeches across the floor. You grab Tracy by her shoulders and steer her out of the room, exasperated and confused as fuck. Clearly whatever it is she wants to talk to you about is bottled up pretty shittily.
You turn back to apologize to Dave, but his gaze is downcast at the table.
Sighing, you resign yourself to redirecting Tracy to your room, conveniently the furthest room from the kitchen.
She sits down at your desk and you throw yourself onto your bed, assignments flying up and off the duvet. Her lips her twisted into a tiny scowl and she’s messing with her hair agitatedly.
“Tracy, dude. Relax. What the fuck happened back there?”
“What happened?” She hissed, “You tell me what you think is happening here! Do you think that dude seems like the type to be worried about anything other than himself? He’s such a- Such a-!”
Her hands grasp at the air frantically as if she could pull words out of the silence between her rants.
“-A humongous, pretty boy, tryhard!”
She throws down her hands to her side, and the chair spins slightly from the force. “If he’s so concerned about his lost brother, why hasn’t he looked for him? Sure, he’s called him, and texted, but what the hell? Why do all the things he's done involve him sitting on his ass? How isn’t he completely losing his hair running from school to school, block to block, knocking down doors?”
"Tracy, I don't think-"
“Don't you get it, (y/n)? I'll admit it, alright? I’m scared, okay? I’m scared! What if he’s trying to take advantage of you, (y/n)?” She rolls the chair over to your bed and gestures to the room. “You have a whole apartment here! There’s so much room for more people, but you have to remember that you’re struggling too!”
“Hold on Tracy, are you trying to say he’s lying about having a brother?”
She sighs harshly. “Maybe that’s it, but I think the more probable thing is that he’s trying to bum a ride off of you for a bit longer. Say he has a little brother, right? Where would they go after he finds him? They don’t even live in this city- this state! So he won’t. He won’t try to find his brother until he’s ready to get tickets back to Texas or Alabama or wherever the fuck he’s from, and he’ll stay here with you until he decides to get off his ass. But what does that mean for you?”
Tracy picks up a bunch of worksheets that flew off your bed when you flopped onto it. “Look at you! You’re a college student falling behind on work, on loans, on bills, on everything EXCEPT for helping people! If you need it- no, when you need it though, who will help you?”
You search her face, and recognize the fear of uncertainty in her eyes.
“Tracy, breathe.”
She rubs her shoulder, exhaling heavily. “I know I sound like such a massive fucking bitch right now. I know that, okay? But sometimes you need to be a bitch when you think someone is preying on your friend. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“Tracy, I get what you’re saying. The truth is, I’ve wondered about that too.” You sit up and grab a pillow. “And I appreciate it. I know you’re just worried about me, but I think Dave is telling the truth.”
“-But how? How do you know for sure?”
“I don’t. But I just have the feeling. I’ve seen the way he loses himself in thought sometimes, and I don’t need to read minds to know that he usually isn’t like that. He looks like he’s really missing something, and doesn’t know what to do, or where to start to get it back.”
You place your hand on Tracy’s.
“I know you’re scared for me, and I know you want to make sure I do the right thing. But Tracy, this is the right thing for me. I get that you think I’m all over the place, and maybe you’re right to think that because I can barely help myself, I can’t help Dave, either. But I want to be able make that decision for myself. And if I want to help him, the first thing I have to do is believe in him, and myself too. And I do.”
Tracy doesn’t say anything at first. When she speaks, the frustration she was hiding behind melted away, and her true thoughts became unveiled.
“But… What if you can’t handle it?”
This was never about Dave, she was just concerned about how you would hold up with him here. Oh, Tracy.
“But what if I can?”
“But-”
“-Do you believe in me, Tracy? Like, seriously and genuinely, believe in me?”
You watch her as she searches your face, searching for something, anything, a reason for why you were so insistent on this.
“Well?” You ask hopefully.
Tracy groans, and places her head in her hands, defeated. “Yes, I do.”
She isn’t looking at you, but you give her a bright smile anyways, and throw your arms around her in a tight hug. “Thank you, Tracy. It means a lot to me. You’re like the proud mother I never had.”
“Oh my god, get off of me and see a fucking therapist.”
She shoves you off, but the smile stays on your face.
“You’re too kind, you know. I would never do this for anyone, even if they paid me.”
“Not true, actually. Shawna lives with you, she pays for rent so technically she pays you, and you do way more for her than this.”
She scoffs. “No, I meant for a stranger. You’re always too scared of hurting people, so you can’t retract your helping hand even if it means you get shit for it.”
“No, I don’t think that’s the case.”
“It is. Someday, your inability to say no is going to bite you in the ass, and hard. When that day comes, I hope you’re strong enough to realize what you need to do.”
Tracy stands up from the chair, brushing her pants off. “This lecture is finished.”
You wouldn’t say that was a lecture, it was more of a perplexed session of emotional diarrhea. You decide that you like the tender moment too much to ruin it, and say nothing.
Tracy goes to open the door, and both of you are surprised to find Dave standing in the doorway, a fist poised to knock. You wonder how long he’s been there.
“Oh, hi Dave.” You smile, and feel perspiration beading on your temples when Tracy just stares him down.
What the fuck Tracy please just open up your cold, stony heart to the world.
“Hey.” He answers coolly. “I just wanted to say, Shawna found your wine and is currently fucked up beyond the wire.”
“What?” You slap your hand onto your forehead and call out to her, assuming she hasn’t passed out. “Shawna, you goddamn alcoholic! It’s a school night and you’re already acting like the drunkard uncle at a family function?”
Tracy grumbles to herself and tries to walk past Dave, but he doesn’t budge.
Uh oh.
“Tracy.”
UH OH.
“I wanted to apologize. I was coming off as standoffish before, and that wasn’t cool of me at all.”
Uh oh?
“And you were right. I wasn’t trying my best to look for Bro because I was scared I wouldn’t find him, and I’d have to go back to Texas myself. But that was me being selfish, and I wanted to thank you for being straight up with me. (Y/n) is fortunate to have a friend like you to look after her.”
???????
Tracy tries to remain impasse, but you can tell she’s shocked at the heartfelt apology.
“Oh- I mean, sure, yeah. As in, yes, it’s fine. It’s fine.”
Oh my gosh, she was even worse at handling her stutter than you were, how was that possible?
She tries to abscond and Dave lets her, but calls out to her again before she can get too far.
“If it makes you uncomfortable that I’m here alone with your friend, I'm willing to leave.”
Tracy turns around. She looks pleasantly surprised, but gives a resigned half-smile.
“That’s not up to me.”
When she leaves to retrieve Shawna, Dave continues standing there, his hands tucked in his pockets and staring out your window  and saying nothing.
When one uncomfortable second stretches into ten, you clear your throat.
“I get you’re trying to be deep and mysterious, but you’re kind of freaking me out. Can you stand in the bathroom and do that in the mirror instead?”
Dave keeps his eyes glued on the window, looking out into the wide expanse of the twinkling city.
“I’m sorry.”
You shoot him a perplexed look. “Uh, you don’t have to apologize. Just don’t do that in front of my bedroom door.”
“No, I mean for before. And everything before that too.”
You stare at him, waiting for him to slip up and show even a sliver of emotion. It doesn’t happen.
“It’s okay. Tracy wasn’t mad at you, you know?”
He leans against the doorframe, one leg crossed in front of the other in a shockingly stylish pose for such a serious talk.
“It’s alright if she was. She had a good reason to be.”
You’re not sure why Dave is beating himself up like this, and you shake your head. “She really wasn't. She was just worried about other things, and she keeps it so locked up so tightly that sometimes it comes out the wrong way. She stepped over a few boundaries today, and I'm sorry about that. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you, Dave.”
He doesn’t say anything for a second, and it’s quiet, save for the occasional rumbling of a car outside.
“She was right about a lot of things though, like how I let you do all the work. Or how I haven't been putting my share into the search. I'm sorry." His eyes stay searching the night sky, and he seems so familiar with the action that it makes you wonder how often misses his brother, even before he disappeared into the hot Texas air.
"But, there was one thing she was wrong about. I do wanna find my Bro.”
The somber way he says that makes your stomach turn. He looked fine, but something about him looked a bit more tired, and a little more mature. Maybe it was because his hair sat flatter, or because his eyebrows were tighter, or maybe even because his shades didn't seem so reflective. Or maybe it was just you, imagining things.
“I know, Dave. I never doubted that for a second.”
Dave lingers at the doorway a bit longer but before you can find out why, you hear a chair being knocked over in the other room. Dave’s head snaps towards the sound too, and looks to you to follow him.
As expected, drunk Shawna is being a huge baby and refuses to leave. She’s crying about how sad you must be living here all alone, and how you’re like a sad and lonely cat lady with no cats. She seems particularly upset about the lack of felines, because she starts howling about getting you a kitty for your birthday, which isn’t until a few months from now.
Tracy is struggling keeping her under wraps, so you offer to go down with them together. Dave keeps his distance for understandable reasons.
She calms down in the cool air of the elevator, and when you make it to the door you thank Tracy for paying you a visit tonight.
“Even though it got really tense at one point, it was still nice. I think Dave got the chance to sort through some stuff he was conflicted about.”
Tracy hoisted Shawna higher. “Yeah, when you get the chance, can you let him know I’m… You know…?”
You grin at her. “I think he already knows.”
She huffs, mumbling a “whatever” and turning around. The door starts closing on her, but she catches it again with her foot before it does.
“Oh, but wait (y/n).”
“Huh? What’s up?”
Tracy looks behind you to check for extraneous persons, but finds none.
“That Strider guy. I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere before.”
“You mean Dave? But he’s from Texas. He only got here a few days ago.”
Tracy dodges Shawna’s drunkly wayward arm. “I know, that’s why I didn’t want to bring it up. It sounds impossible, but I can almost swear I’ve seen him around before. Even before this weekend, when the thing with you and him happened.”
Shawna throws up her hand and almost gives Tracy a raging black eye. “It’s PAAAAR-TAYYY time!”
“Ugh.” Tracy blows hair out of her face and gives Shawna a pointed look. “Whatever. I guess we don't have to talk about this now. I should get back before she actually hurts me.”
You scratch your head, wondering if she was going to be okay. “Sure thing, Tracy. Goodnight!”
“Yeah, goodnight.”
She removes her foot and the heavy door swings closed again with a slow hiss. The noises of the bustling night life outside mute themselves and whisper through the crack in the door instead.
You think about what she said for a few seconds more. Where would she have seen Dave before all of this? Maybe they had mutual friends, or she saw him on BookFace, for whatever reason?
You head back up to your apartment and decide to push it to the back of your mind. Besides, you had a feeling things would start making sense soon.
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nachohypno · 3 years
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Nate and Dave - Ch. 15
Dave’s POV
I’m sure you already know how much a single person can change a whole lot of your way to see the world, or have your life take a 180° turn (Had to look this up, angles are weird.) just by standing in a corridor.
Now I was just happy to stare at my phone’s unlocked background. A pic I took of us while cuddling. I was kissing his cheek and staring at the camera, while he just laid below me, his face had a little smile and his eyes were closed.
He loved that pic. I loved it too, it was both cute and wholesome. Never been one to do those things, nor even Leslie managed to get me to change my Dallas’ Cowboys background, and we had a lot more pics together than Nate and I do.
It was a nice distraction. I would sometimes just unlock my phone to see that pic and feel a bit warm inside as I imagined spending more time with my soulmate. I loved him a lot, and I wouldn’t mind sticking around with him for a day, or two, or the rest of my life, just to make sure he has all he needs to be happy like I am when I’m near him.
We sat together at school, yeah. Nobody batted an eye. We hung out during our breaks, still no big catastrophe happened. After school, we usually have a date or spend some time together before heading to our respective houses (As much as I’d like, having daily sleepovers wouldn’t be wise).
According to… everyone in the world who knows that I’m hanging out with Nate (Which may be just 2 or 3 people that I’m aware of), the guy had a really positive impact on my behavior. He’s always encouraging me to help whenever I can and to be… nicer, in general.
I’ve already apologized to one of my favorite targets a few weeks ago, but decided to fully leave them alone. In my house, however, I’ve been trying to honor my soulmate’s wishes doing some house chores to help mom and pops around. I still don't think I'm ready to 'change my public image' that much. Kicking nerd's asses is fun... but mean and unnecessary.
Mowing the lawn, going grocery shopping, cleaning around whenever my parents seemed quite tired to do it, that kind of thing. My room wasn’t a messy place before, but now I could spend less time looking for my stuff!
And now… Nate was at his house. I left him there per his request, he told me we could hang out later today! But first, he had some homework to do.
I looked around and noticed the door was closed. I dropped my shirt and pants, felt the locket’s cold metal against my chest, and dropped on my bed.
I wasn’t intending to take a nap, just close my eyes and think of my soulmate was a nice enough plan for my evening.
As I closed my eyes, images of my first day with him invaded my happy place. Me getting his scent, slowly walking over to his locker, and noticing the guy I never paid attention to, the one that sat a few rows in front of me, and was usually in the middle of the way when I threw paper balls around.
Now that I thought of it, maybe I never noticed him because he always hid? He was hiding right now; it was obvious that he was using his locker as a cover. I stood there, though. Taking in the smell. Feeling myself realizing more and more of that nice thought I had never thought about after my pops told me about that weird phenomenon.
…I had found my soulmate. The love of my life… It wasn’t my girlfriend, but a guy from my class… I frowned both in the real world and in my fantasy.
In the fantasy world, I lifted and kissed him. He didn’t fight back, just returned the love I was giving him by returning my kiss. I didn’t care if anyone watched us. I loved this guy, and I still do now.
I love Nate Hall.
I rubbed my crotch in the real world, as I kept kissing him in my fantasy. That was more than enough. A single kiss, a single thought about my soulmate being happy and in love with me could make me so hard and horny…
“Dave?” A voice said. My soulmate’s? It sounded so different though… I kept kissing him. This was perfect. He was perfect. He was the love of my life, of course he was perfect! “Daaaaave?”
Was there someone invading my fantasy? Oh, wait…
I opened my eyes and saw a familiar face standing there, wide eyed. I had my hand on my hard crotch, rubbing it. This was definitely an uncomfortable position to be found at. I could normally hear when people are walking towards my room, but maybe I was so out of it this time that I didn’t hear him.
“Fuck, sorry— Didn’t wanna—” My cousin said. What the fuck was he doing here, anyway?! In my room! When the fuck did he arrive?!
“Shut the fuck up! And close the door!” I commanded, feeling anger building up on my chest, totally replacing the warm feeling from a few seconds ago.
Brad Walker. My cousin was my height, which was a bit funny given that he was a few years older than me. He was muscled too, but his shoulders seemed wider as his torso formed a sort of upside down triangle. He was a rugby player, maybe it had to do with that.
By looking at his face alone, he could pass as a brother because of the resemblance. He had the Walker’s smile, looking both chilled while also managing to look a bit menacing to keep everyone in their toes.
Doesn’t give him much use, given that he’s a Beta.
Brad closed the door behind him, and laid back on it. “Off to a rocky start, I guess. Let’s try that again… Hey, cuz!”
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I could feel the anger diminishing. I thought of my soulmate, how would he react if he saw me like this. He would want me to be nice and polite to my cousin. I wanted that too, I wanted to be nice to him. I’m so hot-headed sometimes…
I smiled at Brad, and took a few steps forward to give him a bro hug. After that, I walked over to my bed and sat on the edge. “Hey man, wat’cha doin’ around here?”
“Uncle hasn’t told you? Pops and him thought about doing a little reunion, so we drove over and… here we are.” Brad left his hands in his pockets as he looked around. I noticed I was still almost naked, but didn’t give it much thought. I did put some shorts on, though. “Just the big guys, though. Mom was tired and decided to stay at home with the young ones, so it’s just pops, Logan and me today. The guys asked me to get you downstairs, so… shall we go?”
I pointed to my almost naked body. “Give me a few minutes, alright?”
-----
Dressed up in some shorts and a grey tank top, I walked downstairs with Brad following me closely.
Pops was there, with his brother and my other cousin. I walked over to Logan and gave him a brohug. I liked my cousins, they were like brothers.
“Hey man,” Logan greeted me after the hug. It was nice seeing him. Well, like, nice and not nice, because he was pretty annoying sometimes. So I hoped he didn’t get very annoying tonight. “Damn, you look buffed. Taking steroids already?”
I rolled my eyes. “Why do you ask? Need some to stop being so thin, cuz?”
“I swear I still don’t know how he's not broken after kicking that ball. Y’look like a stick, bruh” Brad backed me up. I liked that about Brad, he was pretty loyal.
Logan laughed. He’s not one of those chums who get mad at every tiny insult. He’s pretty easy going in that regard. Would need to learn from him, because I am one of those chums who get mad at every tiny insult. “Don’t pull my dick, assholes” He punched my shoulder, softly.
Even though Logan was a year older than me, he was an ass. And that’s coming from me.
Logan… He was alright, I guess. Not really very muscly like me or Brad, nor our parents for that matter. That’s because he liked soccer, ugh. Not even weightlifting, nah. Just soccer and cardio.
That got him looking well in a soccer uniform with long socks and knee pads, but… I really should reconsider his standing in my pack. Meh, might as well let him in just because he’s family, but I’ll most likely order him to start working out more to be a real wolf bro. (I’ll get into this later.)
“Uh… don’t wanna be rude or anythin’ but… how long are you guys staying? Thought about having a friend coming over and-”
“Ooooh, is it your girlfrieeend?” The soccer cuz said, moving his fingers towards my face. I slapped his hand off me, and he laughed. “Big meanie Daveee has a girlfrieeeend” He was like a little kid when it came to annoying others, and the worst part was that he nailed it.
“Oh, shut it, bro. You’re just jealous- Wait, that’s not what I was going to ask”
“Dad and uncle Adam thought about doing some beefs for tonight, soooo… family dinner, I guess? We don’t really hang out often, so I thought it would be nice. Besides, we all love beef” Brad answered, holding his arms behind his head and stretching for a bit.
“We’re about to leave, actually,” Uncle Thomas said, grabbing his car keys. “Gonna buy some meat and drinks for tonight. Y’guys wanna come? Hey cub, haven’t seen you in months...” 
I greeted my uncle with a firm handshake, before he gave me a little punch on the abs. “Strong as a rock. Not bad, kiddo.” He ruffled my hair, before turning his attention back to my pops.
I was a bit too worried to think about hitting the store. Nate was supposed to come after he finished his homework, so we could spend the night together. I was supposed to pick him up. Fuck, what am I gonna do?
I shook my head and remained silent. Brad followed suit with a “Yeeaaah… No, been in that car for an hour and I’d really like to move my legs.”
“Pussies,” Logan said in a snarky tone. I raised my eyebrow, but decided to take care of him later. “I’ll go, may find some hot chicks in this friggin’ town…” 
My uncle looked similar to my dad, just a few little differences. Dark blond hair, a bit longer. Their sizes were similar, but my dad was bigger. It was weird to think that my uncle was the one who activated the werewolf curse in a bar fight and not my dad.
If you kill someone, whether it was intentional or accidental, you can’t transform into neither your werewolf or full wolf forms without experiencing a lot of pain. Could be avoided by never turning into those forms but…
Transformation is mandatory during the full moon. This whole thing seemed really thought out to punish those who don’t follow the rules, right?
Brad grabbed my arm “Hey, since we’re staying behind apparently, wanna catch up?” He pointed back to the stairs, probably wanting to go to my room.
I nodded, nothing better to do. And it would give me some time to think about what excuse I could give Nate.
Again in my room, Brad closed the door behind me. “So… a friend? I mean, the locket already gave me an idea but I didn’t you were bringin’ her to your place already…”
“It’s nothing, really…” It was something, a lot. I loved wearing this locket, it reminded me of Nate. Thus meaning, it was pure bliss in a single necklace.
“So, what’s the locket for? Always thought you’d end up with that Leslie chick you talked so much about” Oh, I forgot. My cousins never met my ex.
I shook my head, but was kind of hesitant to talk about it. In the end, I eased myself to the idea as I thought more about Nate. “Got a soulmate now, cuz.” Was my answer. I was proud of myself! Not even a half of the average werewolf population gets to meet their soulmate once in their lives!
I was lucky, it was like, one in a whatever-number-of-people-there-are-in-Earth!
“Waitwaitwait, not gettin’ it. So, you and Leslie… or is it another girl?”
“It’s a guy, his name is Nate” I mumbled out quickly. I wasn’t embarrassed, but at the same time, I felt like a chunk of ice just fell through my stomach. 
Silence.
“So… you’re gay now?” Brad said, giving me a thumbs up. “It’s alright, I don’t mind gay people”
I honestly couldn’t get how he got that assumption. “What? What makes you think that?”
“You’re with a guy, like dating and loving him and you even have a locket… I mean, that’s pretty gay. But it’s cool, it’s not that weird. Lots o’ people take some time to discover their sexuality and stuff— Uh… Cuz?”
I stared at him. Not staring, actually. I was glaring at him.
Brad gulped. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” While he did sound afraid, his face displayed a mix of nervousness and worry. I always laughed at him when he asked if he fucked up, like it was a regular thing for him to do but still needed other’s approval about it.
I just glared at him, making sure he knew I wasn’t happy. I walked forward and held my gaze into his, trying out my favorite part of being an alpha.
As I focused on him, his expression slowly started to relax, then vanish, as his pupils dilated.
“On your knees” I commanded, making sure he got it as an order, not a ‘humble request’.
His blank face didn’t move an inch, as he dropped to his knees and looked forward. His eyes, besides the pupils being dilated, looked glazed over as his irises changed from hazel to pure yellow. The beta color!
“Who’s your alpha?” I mocked him, as he blankly stared ahead.
“You are, sir. David Walker is my alpha” Brad droned. I ruffled his hair. He was a good beta. 
“And who do you have to be respectful towards?”
“My alpha, sir. Being respectful towards their alphas is the sign of a good beta, sir” Brad answered, in a matter of fact voice.
…I should probably explain what the heck is going on.
I’m an alpha. I’ve mentioned quite a few times already, but I never mentioned anything about other ranks.
You have omegas, who are wolves without a pack. They’re usually weaker than alphas and betas. Then there are the betas, werewolves already in a pack.
Omegas can survive quite well on their own, it’s not a requirement to have a pack. But if you want to get stronger… Getting an alpha is the best you can do.
That’s one of the reasons Pops is so proud of me. He and mom conceived an alpha in their first try! Nate usually nerds out about me sounding like a “Jerry Stud” whatever the fuck that is.
So, since I’m an alpha, both my older cousins are ‘my pack’ to call it some way. And you just got to see one of my favorite alpha skills.
Much like a soulmate bond, being a beta for an alpha makes them completely loyal to the alpha, which means… I have some degree of control over them. Not as much control as my love has over me, but still… It’s fun!
“So, won’t you apologize for calling me a fag— Uh… gay?” I’m still getting used to not using that word. Everything for my Nate. Can’t be a bully anymore, right?
I didn’t have to ask twice. Brad seemed to struggle a bit against it, but after a few seconds he said “I apologize, sir. I didn’t intend disrespecting you like that…” It was a cold, empty apology. But it did the trick. I’m not a picky guy, he’s my cuz after all.
But that did make me wary. Should I tell Nate to not come after all, at least until these guys leave? Fuck, they were going to ruin my evening with my soulmate.
“Uh… what do you think about my soulmate being a guy?” I walked in front of him, back and forth. I was trying to think what would be the wisest decision here. A second opinion would be useful.
“I personally don’t care, sir. You can love whoever you want, especially if you met your second half.” My cousin answered.
“I mean, yeah. But what would Uncle Thomas and Logan say if they found out about it?” I should uh… ‘wake him up’ or whatever already. But I liked him this way. You can say I’m a dominant guy. Not saying I lust over my cuz, that would be incest, but ordering him around is fun.
“I don’t really know. He’s your soulmate, they shouldn’t say anything. Logan is a fellow beta though, it wouldn’t be wise to fear anything from him. He’s as loyal to you as I am, my alpha.” Not going to lie, I loved hearing that.
Being in control of the situation, having everyone in my surroundings looking forward to being with me, or do as I say out of fear/respect/whatever… That’s why I loved the not-studying-part of school!
As a little reward for his opinion, I did what Nate would have done to me if I did particularly good: Scratch the back of his ear. Brad’s head got some emotion again, as he got closer to my hand and started panting with his tongue out.
“There, there. Good beta cuz” I mumbled, as I machinated a plan in my head. I had an idea, but it would be a bit… not ideal. I stopped scratching the good spot, and his expression blanked out again. I crouched in front of him, and looked straight into his eyes. “I want you to listen very clearly to me, understood? Listen and do as your alpha says…”
If Brad wasn’t in ‘beta mode’ before, then he definitely was now. His irises were still a bright yellow, but his pupils were even smaller now. “I’d do anything for my alpha, sir” placing a hand on his chest. I knew what that symbolized, I used that expression with Nate before. It freaked him out a little.
“Y’know, my soulmate is kinda a big deal for me so… I want you to treat him like a king, alright? No mean or cocky comments, just be nice to him and I’ll be nice to you, got it?” I had to search for the words to say this, it wasn’t really a piece of cake as I expected. “Think of him as an extension of your alpha. Make him feel good and do what he says, and you’ll be good to go.”
He frowned a bit, but his face quickly eased up. “As you command, my alpha. Your soulmate’s wellbeing will be my top priority, sir.”
Yeah, that’s more like it. “Get up now.” I said and just… walked away from him. I wasn’t interested in bossing him around anymore, not for now at least. But actually…
“Lift your shirt.” One last command wouldn’t hurt, and he obeyed without a question, like a good beta. I walked towards him and gave him a little punch on his abs. Didn’t even flinch, he was keeping up with me! Of course, I wanted the best for my pack! “And… Beta out.”
My cousin snapped out of whatever that was, his yellow irises returning to a nice hazel, as his pupils got back to normal. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and smiled. “Huh, 5 minutes. Wonder what you did there” The guy said, smiling at me.
He couldn’t get mad at me. I was his alpha! I mean, he could… but there wasn’t much he could do about it!
“Meh, you don’t really care, do you?” I said, trying to sound uninterested.
Brad shook his head. “Nah, I really don’t. I really trust ya, cuz. Best alpha around!” Couldn’t tell if he was following the ‘you don’t really care’ thing, or if he was being honest, but I didn’t really care.
“That’s a good beta” I mumbled, going closer to him again to scratch the back of his ear. God bless Nate and discovering that hidden pleasure for me. I loved when he did that to me, as I mentioned, and I loved doing it to other wolves, too!
“What are you two ladies doin’ up here- What the hell are you two doing?” Logan entered the room. My other older cousin, although younger than Brad. Rather than being as muscular as we were, he was more chilled. Yeah, he was in good shape, but he didn’t look like a big gym bro like us.
This was probably due to him preferring Soccer rather than football or rugby. Each to their own, but soccer isn’t that fun to begin with? I tried to not give it much thought and respect his hobbies.
“Brad, close the door and put on some music.” I ordered him, walking over to Logan and wrapping an arm around his small soccer player’s shoulders. “You just made my whole evening way easier, lil’ cuz”
I wondered if Nate would like this. I’d have to send him a message telling him that I wouldn’t be able to pick him up… That felt bad, but at least these guys wouldn’t bother him tonight!
-------
Nate’s POV
Dave invited me to his house, but asked me to walk over. He told me we could have a family dinner, which was alright. I liked his family. Mr. Walker was funny and Ms. Walker was really nice to us. We just had one family dinner and Dave spent most of his time zoned out.
And also, there was a full moon, which I didn’t get to see.
Was I glad they considered me ‘family’? It pushed me out of my freaking mind when Dave sent me that text.
I was walking slowly. Not like a snail and doing baby steps, but I felt like I should slow down as much as I could and… be fashionably late? It was a good walk, from my house to his. But I didn’t mind.
The town was quiet, not much stuff happening as I walked out of my house, and on the way to Dave’s neighborhood.
I thought about buying some ice cream or some nice dessert to make a good impression this time, but hey, I don’t really think they’ll care about it that much. They highly prefer meat, as far as I know.
Stopping in the middle of the way, I grabbed my phone and checked my maps app. “Should have arrived 10 minutes ago… fuck, that shortcut would have been really useful…” I mumbled to myself, changing my route and getting back on the way.
I was nervous at fuck, that maybe explained my silliness. And I also never walked to this part of town. It wasn’t… bad, but it was a bit more private than the usual neighborhoods, which fits Dave’s family pretty well due to them being werewolves, and stuff like that.
I still had some time to cancel and be like “Oh, hey. My… hamster pet is sick and I want to look after him?” I kind of sucked at making up excuses, that's why I never wanted to be late on homework due to laziness.
It was late now, just another block and...
I reached Dave’s house. It was weird arriving here on my own. Guess I really got used to my soulmate acting as my personal driver.  
The rooms inside were on, Dave’s car and his dad’s were outside the garage. The closer I got to the front door, the louder I would hear laughter coming from inside. Were they having  visits? It didn’t sound like Dave’s laugh. His laugh was… deep and dumb-sounding.
I stopped now. What if they had visits? What if Dave didn’t tell them I was coming? I was shaking a bit, before taking a deep breath. 
Taking my final steps to be in front of the main door, I knocked and waited for someone. Loud footsteps later, Adam Walker (Dave’s dad) opened the door.
“Hey bud. Didn’t know you were coming, but uh…” He motioned inside with his head. “Come in, the big guy is in his room with his cousins. We’re having a family dinner”
“Thanks, mr. Walker-” But he stopped me as I set a foot on the door. The older man leaned in and started whispering.
“Don’t be afraid. If you don’t want to be picked on tonight, try your best to not sweat as you did the last time. Dave will probably have you covered, though.” He patted my back, and moved aside to let me in. After that, he closed the door behind me. “Dinner will be ready in a bit so… feel free to go mingle with the guys upstairs.”
Uh… that wouldn’t be needed, apparently. Dave and a pair of guys were coming downstairs, and as soon as my puppy boy saw me, he rushed towards me to give me a big tight hug. “Missed you a lot, bruh! Didn’t know there was going to be more family tonight so… I’m really sorry for that. But I’m sure we’ll have a good time!”
The other two guys just stared at me, arms folded. One of them was big, and buffed. He had an absent smile, a bit creepy but also inviting. The other was smaller than him (And Dave, for that matter).
“Uh… since your uncle is here, these are…”
“Cousins, yuh” Dave finished the sentence. I made the connection on my own, but it was good to get some confirmation. “Big one’s Brad, small one’s Logan.”
“Hey, I’m not small!” Logan complained, trying to punch Dave’s arm. He didn't seem to do much damage though.
“Yeah, and I’m a bottom, heh” My werewolf jock replied, obviously mocking his cousin. I noticed Brad chuckling, and I couldn’t help but find that funny though. I always wondered if Dave would like to bottom at least once. I feel like he’d be alright if I asked him for it, due to me having full control and all that...
After the introduction was over, and both guys shook my hand, my focus shifted again to who I wanted to be with: Puppy boy was looking at me too.
“I can’t find the words to tell you how glad I am to see you here, though” Dave said, before pulling me in for a good make out session. In the middle of the living room. He was feeling happy or romantic, I assumed? I was surprised his cousins didn’t react at all, and just looked like they were watching some kind of movie.
“Wait, what the heck?” Oh geez.
A man blasted in the living room, and tried to separate me from Dave. The puppy boy reacted quickly though, and pushed him away. “What the fuck, old man?! This is my soulmate!”
Before the guy could go back at us, Dave’s dad popped in to save the day! “You guys just had to hold on for a bit until dinner was ready!” I felt like the ‘complaint’ was more directed towards who-I-thought-was Dave’s uncle, and Dave himself.
The puppy boy seemed a bit angry, he got in front of me and made sure I was out of view. It was a cute touch. I noticed the other two guys taking a step towards us too, like siding with Dave in this.
“Just, calm down, all of you, and start setting the table. Try to not take your eyes out while you do, alright?!” Mr. Walker surely knew how to take care of these situations. Was this a normal thing?
After a long stare, both guys nodded, and we all scrambled.
-----
I was sitting next to Dave and that other guy, Brad. Across me, Mr. Walker looked around with a calm expression, as he chewed on his meat piece. Thomas, Dave’s uncle, wasn’t exactly subtle when it came to me. His eyes were like daggers, fixated on me as I nervously stared at my plate.
It was amazing, and terrifying. The resemblance and also differences between both werewolves were quite noticeable. Mr. Walker was probably calm because he already knew about my thing with Dave. The cousins seemed to be quite attentive towards my every movement and sound. I felt like their eyes would automatically fixate on me at any little sound I would make, which was killing me inside. (Were they glowing yellow? Maybe it was my head playing tricks…)
Was I doing something wrong or offensive? I should excuse myself from the table.
“So…” Uncle Thomas started, before biting a big chunk of beef and gulping it down quickly. “Uh… soulmates, that’s neat. How did you two meet each other?”
‘First family dinner all over again…’ I thought to myself, as I tried to find the words for my answer.
“School, I was just walkin’ around and smelled him. Knew he was the one so… tried my best, huhuh.” Dave saved my ass, although his story was different this time. We lied during the first dinner. I couldn’t remember the excuse anymore, and that’s what bothers me about lies.
They’re usually hard to remember. That’s also the reason I’m a bad liar, my memory is awful.
“Yeah, that’s how it usually happens. You just walk around and get the smell, all the soulmate stories start exactly like that, ain’t that right?” Dave’s uncle looked at his brother next to him, who gave him a really angry looking frown.
“Go fuck yourself, got’cha?” I understood that reaction, The man lost his soulmate, I guess the memories were still painful? I’m no psychologist to tell.
“Yeah, sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned that… So uh… back to you, kiddo.” Oh, fuck. Dinner was nice, the meat was delicious! But Dave’s uncle didn’t seem to be… really fond of me. I was glad to see (Not really, now I sound like a dick) that he was bothering Mr. Walker too, so it’s nice to see that the consensus was… Dave’s uncle was a loud mouth ass. “You don't seem to have big muscles, but that's pretty much a given when you're a human."
“I’m sorry…” I mumbled, looking up at him. I tried to sound nice and not afraid, like Mr. Walker suggested before but… it was hard. “Not really good at sports and stuff like that, I guess-”
“Can see that. At least you’re a valedictorian, right?” I shook my head. High grades weren't my top priority. I did well at school, but didn’t focus enough for high grades to be a given. “No? That’s too bad.”
“Tom…” His brother tried to calm him. I noticed Dave needed some calm too. The big guy was clenching his fist with a lot of strength, as he held his knife with the other hand. He didn’t seem eager to cut the meat though, so I decided to step in for him.
I grabbed his fist beneath the table, feeling as it relaxed the longer I touched him. At the end, he grabbed my hand too, and I noticed his expression relaxed as well.
“Dad, don’t be such a dick. The guy’s fine, cut it out.” One of Dave’s cousins, big guy, uh… Brad! He seemed to be standing up for me, for some reason. He angrily stared at Dave’s uncle, without an apparent reason.
Uh… I felt like I was missing a big chunk of information here.
The uncle just stared back at his son, a bit surprised by his reaction. But before he could answer, or even react at all, Dave’s dad spoke up. “Well, it’s been fun, a neat reminder of why we never have family reunions, heh.”
“Ow, c’mon. It’s just a big friendly talk between men and…” He looked at me, seemingly ready to strike another insult. I grabbed Dave’s hand tighter.
But Dave’s dad didn’t give him the chance. “Dinner’s over. You guys will be going upstairs.”
“Roger that” I mumbled, leaving my plate with still a good chunk of meat. I didn’t let go of Dave’s hand, but he followed right after me.
“But I wanted a bit more beef...” The other cousin said. Logan, if I remember correctly. He was small, rather than muscled and big. I related to him because of that, glad to see not all male werewolves are big muscular people.
“Take the plate” Brad whispered to him, before following us upstairs.
“Okay, what’s going on-” I started to say, but my boyfriend shushed me.
“I’ll tell you all about it upstairs, just follow me and don’t make loud noises. Remember that they can hear everything in here” Dave interrupted me, as we went to his room. ‘Great, now my werewolf seems to be part of a mafia’.
-----
Locking the door behind us and his cousins, Dave ordered his cousins to stand aside, and they obeyed right away. “I’ll put some music here and…” His phone started playing some loud rock, but not loud enough to make the place feel annoying. “There, we can talk now.”
“Whaaat’s going on? And just tell me already, it feels quite bad to be insulted for no reason.”
“You weren’t really being insulted, bruh. I was.” Dave explained, motioning for me to go closer before leading me to his bed. “Uncle has… a bit of a problem, like pops has. But while pops knows when to shut his mouth, my uncle doesn’t, huh.”
“I don’t really see the insulting part there but continue…” I pointed out, but Dave just chuckled. Which seemed to cause a chain reaction and the werewolves guarding the door in front of us chuckled too.
“Sorry, yeah. Uh, well… My uncle is just bitter because my dad got an alpha son on his first try, me of course” I could figure that out on my own. The ‘I’m an alpha’ part I mean, he says it all the time. “Brad and Logan here are my betas. They were born as omegas, yeah, but I got them in my pack by willing choice because betas are usually stronger than omegas.”
The cousins were on the other side of the room. The small one, Logan, was tasting his meal with delight, while Brad leaned in to… hear our chat? They looked directly at Dave as soon as he mentioned them, before each one of them saying a “Hey” “‘Sup?”
“Why are they so… attentive?” Nosy mode on. I wanted to get answers, mostly because my curiosity was triggered now. ‘Obedient’ would have fitted better than ‘attentive’ though.
“Asked them to take care of you for the night, because I wasn’t sure if It would look good for me to do it. Pops is usually really fond of my uncle, but I think he didn’t like seeing him insulting my soulmate to get to me, bruh” Dave then put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. “I can put them back to normal if you want me to, but… they don’t really mind, so why bother?”
Uhm… I risk myself sounding like a dick right now, but I found the idea of the two cousins under Dave’s control quite arousing… I’m not going to say it to him, of course! I didn’t want him to feel bad or anything if he saw his soulmate interested in other guys…
“Where are they going to sleep, by the way? Or are they leaving after a bit?” It was after dinner already so… it wasn’t a bad thing to ask. Like, we had school tomorrow...
“Living room, sofa. One of them, at least. I’ve got a sleeping bag, because they both can’t fit on the sofa, so while the guest room is occupied by my uncle and… yeah, I’ll go get that old thing. Gimme a sec.”
Dave got up from the bed and left the room, leaving me sitting there alone as the two cousins stared at me.
“Hope the meat is still good…” I told Logan, trying to sound nice. I felt a bit bad, Dave made them look after me, and that made them ‘defend’ me against their father. Yeah, I definitely feel bad now. “Sorry for crashing into the dinner.”
“You kiddin’? You seem like a cool guy, dad was just being an ass. It’s okay though, I think he likes you” Brad answered, and I feel like he’s the one “kiddin’” here. “He’s just… We don’t like family dinners, we do them out of courtesy. Nothing personal, dad can be naturally obnoxious sometimes”
I wanted to say sorry again or something like that, but that’s when Dave bursted in with the sleeping bag. “Y’guys play rock paper scissors to decide who’ll sleep with the alpha… Like, beside me, don’t get weird ideas.”
I chuckled, as Dave threw the sleeping bag next to the cousins, and started taking off his shirt as he walked towards me. “You’re sleeping over, right? It’s still early, but I can make up for the bad time by cuddling, if you’d like.”
To be honest, it felt like a good idea to distract me from that… failed family dinner night. Never again I’ll ‘crash’ into a Walker dinner (Even though Dave knew I was coming over). Too many surprises for a lifetime, thank you.
I laid down, rolled over to leave him room. We wouldn’t be sleeping yet, I hoped. The big guy laid down beside me and quickly pulled me in.
“Fuck…” 
“Yeah!” We turned towards the other guys and noticed Brad had won the rock paper scissors game. Logan just seemed defeated, he grabbed his empty plate and looked over at us.
“Well, g’night bros. Gonna be in the living room, I guess.”
“Buh-bye” Dave said, before turning around again and holding me in his arms. “Sorry again for all that before, bruh. Let's get some sleep, a’ight?”
Honestly, I think I didn't feel as offended as I should have. Best to just let things slide off, I guess. I decided to just nod, and doze off while hearing Brad setting up his sleeping bag. 
I didn’t pay him much mind, though. My puppy boy's hug felt nice enough to help me relax quite quickly...
--------------------
Author’s note:
Took me long enough. But chapter 16 went up already, so gotta keep up with the content.
Chapter 16 is available in my Patreon, but it will go up as soon as I publish Chapter 17 there. Shouldn’t be long, I feel very inspired lately! (Hopefully it won’t take as long as this one did 😅).
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it <3.
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lifewithdavefarts · 3 years
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DaveFarts - Episode 11 “VoiceFarting” [Episode List] Tim and Adam are hanging out on... Liscord, playing some stuff together, waiting for Dave to join them for a game. When Adam unexpectedly has to leave however, Dave decides to do some… microphone testing.
VoiceFarting
“I’m going in as a mage ‘cause you fuckers can’t cast for shit” I heard Adam say right into my ears.
This was one of our usual game nights. We’d voice chat on Liscord on our own server and all that stuff. Adam was being, for the lack of a better term, kind of bitchy, ‘cause he thinks as himself as the most skilled gamer around even though we’re always reviving his ass. In the end it’s all in good fun of course, but we’d all happily mute him during a match if we could.
“Yes, Adam. Have fun with the ‘easy mode’ character.” I said, deliberately baiting him.
“Listen here you little shit” he immediately blurted “I can accept that you’re gay but I’m not going to accept the fact that you’re a scrub.” he said, obviously joking, though he did take skills seriously during a match.
“Yeah yeah but I’m the one using the axe, fighting enemies face-to-face like a man.” I kept teasing him. “How’s going up there? Still casting light arrows from your safe space?” I cackled.
“Excuse me???” his icon lighting up, the audio clipping “Why don’t we check your stats instead? Too afraid of looking like the scrub you are??? I literally made no mistakes last time.”
“Of course you didn’t: the chance of making mistakes is like 0% when you stand still and far from the battle.”
There was a moment of silence, then I heard Adam’s breath into the mic “You know I know where you live, right?”
I laughed but before I could continue this very deep and mature battle of wits, we both heard the sound notifying us that our bud Dave joined the voice chat. Now, whenever Dave joins, we usually hear every sound except for his voice, so we were ready to have our ears busted because of the noi-
“Hey noobs!” Dave greeted us, with a voice that was instead crystal clear.
“What the hell” both me and Adam said, our avatars lighting up at the same time.
“I see you noticed that you can now hear my beautiful voice perfectly.” he bragged, and rightfully so.
Normally we could hear his PC’s fans, what was going on down the street, cars passing by, atoms crashing into each others… farts. But now it was just Dave with his now-soothing voice calling us names.
“Are you finished?” Adam said.
But there was no response from Dave.
“Did he finally die?” Adam continued.
I heard a faint sigh of relief from Dave and then he went “Yeah, now I’m finished.”
I kind of suspected what happened but I didn’t say a word.
“Wait. You didn’t hear a thing?” Dave asked, puzzled.
Both me and Adam shrugged as if he could see us, but then said that no, we didn’t.
My detective skills told me that my gassy straight bud ripped one of his classic loud farts, but the new microphone had that “background noise reduction” feature (which my friend seriously needed) so it didn’t register his ass-blast as the old one usually did, so much so that Dave’s frequent farts would eventually turn into white noise for the rest of us. But now, his new headset was actually worth the price and all we could hear was indeed his voice.
“Can we just get into the game befo-“ Adam blurted, but was cut off mid-sentence by a loud, ear-piercing sound coming from Dave, though that wasn’t him speaking or screaming.
My fartbro really didn’t want us to miss what his ass is capable of, so we were both startled by a powerful, audio-clipping fart that completely overwhelmed our voice begging him to stop. And he did stop, but only after like 12 seconds. The rip was followed by the sound of Dave re-adjusting his microphone and laughing. “Hopefully you heard that now.” he chuckled.
I did hear it. I was very familiar with it. Truth is that Dave farting during our game sessions wasn’t anything new however. Even I was used to it, though that did pitch a tent in my shorts. I started wondering whether Dave was in jeans, shorts or boxers. Probably the latter, and shirtless, given that it was a warm evening. I tried to not to let my usual simp-ness over my bro take over me but apparently it was already too late, as I didn’t even notice Adam begin pissed off about an unwanted phone call.
“I’m sorry guys, I gotta take this one.” he said, annoyed. “Do not wait for me. Cya tomorrow I guess.”
And logged off, another sound notifying us that he went into the terrible real world realm.
“Alone at last, bro.” Dave said, in a flirty tone, just as Adam left.
I laughed and mindlessly switched to a different, this time single-player game as we needed at least 3 guys to play, one of those brutal action games that I suck at but I have to beat.
Dave did the same, with a similar game, and we both started gaming on our own but keeping each other company, like we usually do, occasionally exchanging opinions on what we were playing and so on.
“It’s probably his ex-girlfriend” Dave said.
“Yeah. I figured.” I simply answered.
Adam wasn’t really talkative about his personal stuff like me or even Dave, so neither us really knew what was going on. But if our bud didn’t want us to know, not fully know at least, then we respect this decision.
After a couple of more minutes of silence, I heard some sounds coming from Dave. Not a fart, this time though.
“Did you say something?” I asked.
I heard some muffled noises and then Dave’s voice, lower than usual though “I’m just messing with the settings here. I feel like sometimes the volume gets messed up.” and he was right.
“Yeah the audio is kind of low now.” I warned him.
I heard some more noises (keyboard tapping, mouse clicking, etc.) and then I heard him speak again.
Or, to be more precise, he did make a sound with his mouth, though those weren’t words; a loud belch, actually, right into my ears. Dave was more of a farter, but he wasn’t new to wild, incredible burps. I honestly prefer the more disgusting butt explosion, but I still tip my hat at my bro being a masterful air-bender from both ends.
“Yes, I did hear that.” I said, anticipating his question.
He laughed. “Thank you.” he answered, belching both word with care.
A couples of minutes of silence followed, with just me and Dave occasionally chatting but overall trying to be focused on our respective games. My straight bro was however not done with the “testing”.
“Are you hearing this bro?” he suddenly asked, trying not to laugh.
“No…?” I was puzzled.
“Wait. Let me just…”
I heard Dave removing his headset and as it got farther away from his head, a familiar sound got louder and louder instead, until it became unbearable.
“Are you hearing this now?” he shouted, though I could heard him over that sound.
The sound of yet another loud blast of gas, so loud it was glitching the audio. It was long and proud, dry as some of his best rips, and it just wouldn’t stop. The boss I was fighting somehow felt how distracted I was and one-shotted me with a swipe of his flaming sword but I couldn’t even hear any in-game sound ‘cause my straight gassy bro was basically farting right into my ears, albeit indirectly.
I instinctively reached for the pitched tent between my legs as the fart kept going strong and loud, so loud in fact that I had to lower the volume ‘cause my hears were starting to hurt.
After a grand total of 18 seconds, I once again heard Dave putting his headphones back on his head, wondering whether they were radioactive or melting at this point, due to all that poisonous gas.
“I gotta say… the sound quality is pretty spot-on. What headset are you using?” I joked.
Dave chuckled. “The same as yours actually. Thanks for the advice.”
We kept chatting a bit more as if he wasn’t a gassy teasing bastard but since he *is* a gassy teasing bastard I once again heard him, with no warning nor request from me, removing his headphones again and putting them (I assume) closer to the source of his underwear-clad ass.
Unsurprisingly, yet another manly, loud rip blasted through my own headphones right into my eardrums, renewing the hard-on I had only moments before. It sounded like a motorcycle passing by and I could only imagine how badly the stench was in Dave’s room. Lasting around 11 seconds, this time it got dangerously wet-ish towards the end, which I found hilarious but also made me rightfully worried about my bro maybe going a bit too far even for both of our standards.
“Dude.” I said, laughing a bit “You might want to go easy. That sounded risky.”
Dave, being the chill guy he is, just laughed about it. “Don’t worry, dude. I’m an expert.” and he ripped a short toot that was so loud I could even hear it without the microphone going straight into his butt this time.
We then kept gaming a bit more on our own. Dying over and over to that same boss made me think about how chill Dave was being -as usual- about my kink. I mean don’t get me wrong he always farted a lot while voice chatting but this time it was different, as he was now aware of my fetish. And, as always, I really appreciated that, just as I appreciated yet another thunderous blast, one that actually startled me, making me lose YET AGAIN.
“FUCK!” I blurted.
As the fart kept going, Dave moved the microphone closer to his face (but I still could hear the fart going) just to laugh at my gaming skills, completely aware however that his farts were a huge distraction on its own. He then planted the microphone once again in front of his butt and the blast went loud and proud.
“It’s just too easy.” he then chuckled, after finishing ripping that monstrous fart.
It was. I had to pause the game for a couple of minutes to calm down, the tent between my legs going harder and harder. Was Dave aware of this part as well? Of course he was, but he didn’t care. It was just a game for him, and he was constantly proving me how much of a pro gamer he was.
I hope he never gets nerfed.
End of Episode 11
32 notes · View notes
genderfcker · 3 years
Text
what's up everyone i'm mage and i'm back with another au no one asked for but is getting anyways
today's au of the day: ben coming back from the dead in the arguably worst way possible. the umbrellas get angst. the sparrows get angst. ben gets angst.
i'm show only, so i have no idea if the sparrows are going to have a weird shaky relationship with the umbrella academy gang or if they're going to straight up be enemies. so this au doesn't go into too much depth about what their overall relationship is like.
either way, it arguably sucks.
it starts when sparrow!ben gets fatally wounded. the sparrows bring him into wherever they take care of their wounded, but they're already preparing to lose him. maybe he even flat lines.
but then his heart starts beating again. he's groggy and disorientated, but at least he's alive. so yay for that!
except he's not really alive. sparrow!ben isn't, at least. thanks to the power of Plot™, God, and maybe klaus (?) umbrella!ben has somehow been yeeted out of whatever afterlife he's been chilling in and thrown into the body of his alternate timeline self.
but the sparrows are pretty dangerous and probably wouldn't be too happy with their number two suddenly be possessed by his alternate timeline self, so poor ben has to pretend to be sparrow!ben instead.
he keeps trying to tell his siblings that it's him, but he keeps (almost comically at some points) getting interrupted by random plot-related shenanigans.
he tries telling vanya that it's him so she doesn't feel guilty, but then some random enemy shows up and they have to fight him. he tries talking to diego and lila shows up to drag diego away. he tries talking to luther, but luther thinks sparrow!ben is just giving him a lecture on leadership because sparrow!ben totally comes across as the type who wants to lead but can't. five is, well, five and just goes off and does his own thing for a bit, and allison is definitely the master of giving the cold shoulder.
the sibling he needs to tell the most, of course, is klaus. because you can't tell me that this isn't eating klaus up. au or not, klaus is going to be a wreck in season three because he no longer has the support system he's had for years. who's going to be his impulse control? who's going to be his support? even if he didn't listen to ben all the time, klaus always had him there.
and now he's gone
and to make things worse, there is a ben there now. a living ben, who he doesn't have to use his weird ghost powers to interact with.
but this ben is cold and mean and distant and klaus hates it.
and then sparrow!ben gets super injured and makes a miraculous recovery, and klaus is hesitantly hopeful. he knows he shouldn't think this ben would actually like him, but sparrow!ben is being kind of...nice. he can see his ben in him sometimes, and then he hates how he's feeling like he's replacing his brother. we've seen how klaus handles grief. we've seen him interact with au!dave. even though it's not his ben, he would be drawn to him because sparrow!ben is better than no ben at all.
and it would be fun if there was a high stakes moment where it's revealed that sparrow!ben is actually umbrella!ben, but in an au that's undoubtedly built around the platonic and familial love ben and klaus have for each other, the only way i can see it happening is this:
klaus makes one of his usual jabs around sparrow!ben. he's made them before when they were around the other sparrows and other characters in general, but sparrow!ben has always been dismissive. he's cold and distant, so klaus gets it.
but then ben, who's either distracted doing something else or suddenly realizes he doesn't have to act because only klaus is there, reacts. he teases klaus back and messes with him like he used to do.
and klaus is just like
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because sparrow!ben isn't supposed to be like this but he is. and then klaus realizes what's going on and they have a super sweet reunion and everything is great-
-until they have to tell their siblings, which ends up having them paralleling the gags in the previous scenes where klaus would mention talking to ben and no one would believe him. but this time ben would be able to actually say something to prove his point, and when they all get back to their timeline, they get to take their now very much living brother with them.
(yes the sparrows lose their ben but, hey. they deserve some more trauma. as a treat.)
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daveeddiggsit · 3 years
Text
No Return
Note: so this is not a new fic. i actually posted it back in 2017 (but deleted all my smut from this blog about a year afterwards haha we love being impulsive). but i’m over myself now, so i’m reposting! a lot of you have been asking about it, so... here you go. posted for all of y’all to enjoy again.
Word Count: 4.7k
Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader
Warnings: smut. cursing.
Summary: Diggs loses a bet which results in him owing you a lap dance.
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Parties at Rafa’s place were always the best; the drinks were great, the music was amazing, the atmosphere was never dull, but the best part about them were the incredible people that made up each one; you were never bored. There was always something to do whether you were talking to people, dancing, playing drinking games, or just drinking in general. And that’s why whenever you were told that there was going to be a party at Rafael Casal’s apartment, you never turned it down...even if you ended up showing up late.
“Well, look at who finally decided to show up.” You heard a familiar voice say as you walked through the door to Rafa’s place. Daveed grinned widely at you before he slid an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him as you walked deeper into the apartment. “My favorite!”
Daveed was one of your closest friends and if you were being honest, it would have been a lie if you said you didn’t want him to become something more than that. The two of you often flirted and were constantly together (these occurrences happened so often that there were many times people believed you were dating), but neither of you had made a real move. You knew how you felt toward him, and he was giving you signs that he felt the same way, but no true actions were made by either party. So that’s why it stayed the way it was between you two: just close friends who often flirted with each other.
“Aw, I’m your favorite?” You asked, raising your voice so he could hear you over the loud music that was pumping through Rafa’s speakers.
“Uh, yeah,” he stated as if it was obvious, “but don’t tell anyone else. It’s a secret between you and me.” He whispered in your ear as you entered the kitchen.
Yeah, he had definitely downed a few drinks before you got here.
“Diggs, I’m pretty sure everyone heard you when you shouted it.” You laughed as you plucked the cup half-full of alcohol from his grasp, draining it of its contents. He pouted at you once you handed him back an empty cup.
“Y/N, hey! It’s been forever since I’ve seen you!” Adrienne said from beside Rafa who was pouring out a few drinks.
“Hey!” You pulled away from Daveed’s grasp to give her a hug. She’d been away in Canada for the last few weeks shooting for a new project she was working on. “I’ve missed you! Why’d you have to leave me alone to deal with these boys for so long?”
Adrienne laughed while Rafael furrowed his eyebrows.
“Oh, so you didn’t miss me? I see how it is, Y/N, I see how it is.” He feigned hurt, before pushing a couple of newly filled cups towards you and Daveed.
You rolled your eyes at him. “We had lunch a few days ago, Cash, it hasn’t been that long since I’ve seen you.”
“But so much has changed since then.”
You chuckled before taking a sip. “Like what? Did you finally finish that song you’ve been working on?”
“No.” Rafael replied before he smiled at Adrienne beside him. “Unlike Diggs, I am no longer a single and lonely Bay Boy.”
Daveed’s eyebrows furrowed as he cocked his head. “Yo, who said I was lone—?”
“You guys are finally together? Oh my god, congrats!” You cut in with widened eyes.
They both grinned at each other before Rafa leaned down to kiss her forehead.
“Aww,” you gushed, “you two are couple goals already.”
A few seconds passed before you felt Daveed’s arm drape around your shoulders again.
“You know, we could be couple goals too.” He said, looking down at you with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes, pushing him away. “Ha, you wish, Diggs.”
You laughed it off because you knew he was too tipsy to be serious. He always flirted with you like this, but why did this time feel so different?
A few drinks later, you were beginning to feel the familiar light-hearted, buzzing feeling course throughout your body, giving you a boost of energy. You had drifted away from Daveed and Rafa to roam through the house and catch up with people you hadn’t seen since your Hamilton days. You were talking with Adrienne and Ari when you heard your name being called from behind you.
“Aye, Y/L/N!”
You turned your head to see Daveed standing next to a table a few feet away. 
“Diggs!” You responded in the same playful tone.
He grinned at you before waving you over. “Come play Flip Cup with me.”
“Really?” You quirked an eyebrow. “You lose every time you play against me, D.”
“I’m feeling confident today. I’ve been practicing.”
You tried not to laugh as you rose from your seat and approached him. “Practicing?”
“Bruh,” Rafa snickered at his friend from the other end of the table. “You played a few games before this and won two in a row. That ain’t practicing.”
You let a smug grin show up on your face as you glanced back up at your best friend. “Daveed, I am the queen of Flip Cup, okay? You can’t beat me. Nobody ever has, and nobody ever will. That’s a fact.”
“I’m pretty sure I can beat you today, Y/N.” He said bluntly. Wow, he was forward when he was drunk. “I have a good feeling about this.”
“Ha,” you huffed out a laugh, “wanna bet?"
“What do you propose, oh mighty Queen of Flip Cup?”
You thought for a second. What was something you knew would make him think twice about challenging you? Something that would make him step down from this newfound cockiness he embodied.
When the idea formed in your head, you sent him a sly grin. “Winner gets a lap dance from the loser.”
You distinctly remembered an earlier conversation with him where he stated that he couldn’t dance. You knew it was untrue due to the times you’d seen him dance at the club or during some of the numbers in Hamilton, but you also knew that the wager wasn’t something he’d necessarily jump on (despite the confidence boost the alcohol had supplied him).
Rafa led the mini crowd that had formed around you in a chorus of “ooo”s.
“Deal.”
You looked up at Daveed in surprise. You hadn’t expected him to agree to the terms so easily.
“Diggs, that means if you lose— sorry, when you lose, you have to give me a lap dance.”
“I know.” He said seriously.
“And you’re good with that?”
“If it happens, which it won’t because I’m gonna win, then yes.” He stated, his mouth forming into a confident smile. “I’m good with that.”
Fine, he wanted a challenge? You were going to give him one.
“Alright, then.” You said, narrowing your eyes at him. “Game on."
⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆
Daveed lost. Badly.
So badly, in fact, that you actually felt bad for him. So you tweaked it so it was the best out of five games...and even then, he still lost.
Oh well, it’s not like you didn’t warn him.
When the third game ended and Daveed realized his defeat, he threw his head back and groaned.
“Aww, don’t be such a sore loser. You lost fair and square, Diggs. ” You teased with a smile, wrapping your arms around his torso to hug him from behind. “I warned you. I told you I was the queen of Flip Cup, but you didn’t listen.”
“Those cups were rigged, Y/N.” He stated, turning around in your grasp so he could hug you back.
You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Say whatever you want to make yourself feel better. Nothing’s gonna change the fact that you owe me a lap dance.”
He was quiet for a moment before he murmured something. “You know I can’t dance, right?”
“First of all, yes you can. And secondly, lap dances are different, Diggs.”
“No, they’re not.”
“Yes they are. And if you don’t think they’re different, you dance at parties all the fucking time. You should be able to handle an easy lap dance.”
He lifted his head back up from your shoulder to look down at you. “But Y/N...”
You let out a laugh before you patted his cheek lightly. “You dug yourself into this hole, loser. Guess you’re just gonna have to figure it out because you’re not getting out of this one.”
⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆
The next day you woke up to someone knocking on your door. In sweats and an old t-shirt, you made your way over to unlock it, squinting your eyes to adjust to the bright light. The slight hangover you had wasn’t really helping you get out of your groggy state.
“Daveed?” You asked, realizing who your visitor was once your vision adjusted. “What are you doing here so early?”
He was dressed in a yellow Oaklandish tank top that showed off his toned arms/shoulders and dark blue jeans with a brown belt buckled just enough to let them sit loosely on his hips. You also noticed that he decided to rock his glasses today.
You snapped your eyes up to his and away from his figure that left you breathless. You totally had not just checked him out.
“If your definition of early is 2 o’clock in the afternoon, I think you may need to reevaluate some things and consider fixing that sleep schedule of yours.” He replied with his lips turning up into an amused grin.
“Shut up, I had a late night last night.” You mumbled, turning around to walk away, leaving the door open so he could let himself into your apartment. “And you did too. I’m surprised you’re not asleep right now.” You glanced back at him to see him shrug.
“I had to meet Bill and Jon at the studio at 10. I’ve been up since, like, 9:30.”
“Damn, Diggs, you’re gonna have to teach me your ways.”
“Caffeine.” He chuckled, putting on his signature grin. “It works miracles.”
You returned the smile, before sending him a curious look. “So, why are you here? Not that I mind or anything, it’s good to see you, but you haven’t been over in like a month and a half.”
“Exactly! It’s been awhile since we’ve hung out alone, so I thought it’d be dope if we chilled and watched movies or something.” He replied before he went to ramble on. “I mean— only if you want to. If you’re really tired, I can leave so you can get some more sl—”
“No, no, it’s fine! That sounds great.” You cut him off and placed a hand on one of his toned arms to reassure him. 
“You sure?”
“Yeah!” You responded. “Just let me take a quick shower and we can start in like 20ish minutes.”
“A 20 minute shower counts as a quick shower?” He questioned with a teasing look.
“Yes,” you said, “or would you rather it be 45ish minutes?”
“20ish minutes is good. Have fun with your quick shower. Though, I think it would be more fun if I joined.” A tiny but noticeable smirk made its way onto Daveed’s face.
You laughed when he sent you a playful wink, dropping your hand from his arm to walk towards your room. “You wish, Daveed Diggs.”
“You have no idea.” He mumbled under his breath (inaudible to your ears) before he let his eyes follow your retreating figure.
“Maybe you could set up the movie in the meantime? It’s your turn to choose. The remote’s on the coffee table and you know where the popcorn and shit is in the kitchen. I’ll be out soon. If you need anything, yell.” You said before closing the door to your room.
Daveed sent a thumbs up in your direction even though he knew you couldn’t see it before he made his way to your living room.
Little did you know, Daveed had something else planned.
⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆
When you emerged from your shower, you quickly dried yourself and combed through your now damp hair. After that, you exited your room and entered your living room to see that it was completely dark. Confused, you surveyed the room to look for your best friend, but there was no sign of him at all.
Did he leave? If he did, he didn’t text you or anything to let you know.
“D?” You called out, walking further into the room.
With each step you took, the more you realized how this seemed like a scene from a horror film. You weren’t a fan of them, but a few months back Daveed and Rafael had pretty much forced you to have a scary movie marathon with them.
“Daveed Diggs, I swear to God. If you’re trying to scare me right now, I will—”
You squeaked when a pair of arms snaked their way around your waist from behind. Daveed’s voice had come seemingly from out of nowhere. “You’ll what?”
“Kick your ass.” You glared at him, quickly turning around to push him away. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”
He laughed, smiling brightly. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”
“No, you’re not.” You grumbled, moving to sit on your couch. Daveed followed you.
“You right. It was so worth it.” He grinned at you, causing you to roll your eyes at him. You tried to stay mad at him, but it was damn near impossible when he was looking at you like that.
“We’re not friends anymore.” You stated, crossing your arms.
“What, why?” He asked, his grin dropping into a pout.
“You were mean to me, Diggs! How dare you scare me in my own home!” You were laughing internally.
“Okay, fine. I’m sorry for real this time. What can I do to make it up to you?”
When he asked, you contemplated it for a few moments before you looked up at him with a smirk.
“What?” He asked.
“Well, you still owe me that lap dance…”
He groaned, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back on the couch. “I thought you forgot about that.”
“Nope.” You said, your smirk forming into a smug grin. You had the upper hand now. “How could I forget you losing a bet against me, resulting in a lap dance from the great Daveed Diggs himself?”
After a couple of seconds, he sighed, opening his eyes and tilting his face towards you. “If I do this now, will I win back your friendship?”
“I’ll think about it.” You said, causing him to give you a deadpanned look. You laughed before you spoke again. “Yeah, I guess we could be friends again. But it has to be good.”
Daveed sighed again before he straightened himself up. “I don’t even know how to give a good lap dance, Y/N.”
“Improvise. C’mon, D, you’re great at improv. Treat it like you treat a freestyle. Just go with the flow.” You smiled widely at him.
“Fine.” He said, getting up from his spot next to you. “But I’m only pulling through with this because I like you.”
“Aww, you like me?” You asked teasingly to mask the actual feeling that was coursing through you. You continued to grin at him as he pulled out his phone to scroll through his music library. When he finally settled on a song by The Weeknd, he turned to you once he pressed play.
“Do I start now?”
“Yes,” you laughed. “C’mon, you know how a lap dance works. You’re not a novice when it comes to these things, stop fucking around.”
You could see him smile and rub his arm before he looked away for a second. When he started to slowly sway to the beat of the song, it was extremely hard for you to stifle your laugh. Your best friend was about to give you a lap dance and you could not take him seriously.
He continued to dance to the beat for a bit as he stared you down with a smirk. He was doing this shit on purpose. He was joking around until you couldn’t contain your laughter any longer.
“Diggs, I can’t take you seriously like this. I can—” You wheezed. “I just can’t.”
Your laughter and the slow, sexy beats of the music were the only audible things in your apartment until Daveed spoke again. 
“Are you ready for me, Y/N?” His smooth, low voice washed over you.
You let out yet another giggle. “Don’t make it sound so sexual.”
“It's supposed to sound sexual, Y/N, it’s a fucking lap dance.” He chuckled, now standing directly in front of you.
“Alright, show me what you got, Bay Boy.”
You continued to laugh at him as you watched him, but the moment he straddled your lap, you stopped. His arms were on each side of your head, using the couch to steady himself over you as his hips began to slowly grind against you. That’s when the atmosphere in the room completely changed.
Your eyes widened slightly when you saw him bite his bottom lip in concentration. When you envisioned Daveed giving you a lap dance the night prior, you didn’t think it would be like this...it was flustering you more than you thought it would. Before you knew it, you were struggling to control your movements. Your fists were clenching and unclenching as you so desperately tried to keep them anchored to your sides.
As if he had read your mind, Daveed murmured, “You can touch me, Y/N. Don’t be afraid.”
If you weren’t turned on before, you definitely were now. His gravelly voice paired with his hot breath right next to your ear caused you to shiver, making goosebumps appear across your entire body.
Then, you finally let your hands wander. They traveled up his chest to rest on his shoulders, then back down again to move under the hem of his tank top so you could feel his bare and strong torso. Sure it was a bold move, but the more and more Daveed grinded on you, the less and less you cared. When his tank top rode up to the point where you could see all of his abs, he paused to stand up and quickly get rid of the article of clothing before he came back to straddle you again. 
Your heart was beating wildly in your chest as you looked up at your best friend. He looked undeniably attractive when he was on top of you shirtless and with his glasses on. Every feeling you had ever felt for him came crashing down on you at that moment and that’s when you just about lost your self-control. Part of your brain was screaming at you, saying that you were about to cross a line that you could never cross again...but at the same time, all of your cares had disappeared.
You used your newfound courage to cup Daveed’s face in both of your hands and pull him into a deep kiss. He gasped softly, surprised at the sudden contact, but quickly eased into it. 
You had just passed the point of no return.
You didn’t know what to expect when you decided to kiss him, but it was better than you could have imagined. When you pulled back, his mouth was slightly dropped in awe and one of the sides slowly twitched up into a soft smile. (It was kind of adorable.)
“Daveed, I like you.” You blurted, short of breath.
His face broke out into a full grin. “I like you too, Y/N.” 
“No,” you shook your head, moving your hands from his cheeks down to his shoulders. “I mean like— like like you.”
“I know,” he chuckled. “I mean, I figured given what just happened a few seconds ago. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
You shrugged, breaking eye contact with him. You subconsciously traced one of your thumbs across his collarbone. “I was afraid of rejection, I guess.”
“Are you serious?”
“What?” You asked, sounding offended.
Daveed caught your gaze again, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Y/N, I’ve had like the biggest fuckin’ crush on you since Ari introduced us.”
“Wait, really?”
“Mhm,” he hummed. “I’m actually really surprised you didn’t notice.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about your crush earlier, Diggs?” You voiced, giving him a pointed look.
He gave you a shy smile when he moved off of you to sit beside you, still facing you. “Same reason as you.”
“You know what? I’m not even mad about not knowing sooner.” You said. “I’m glad we found out like this.”
“You’re just happy I gave you a lap dance with my amazing skills.” He teased with a laugh of his own.
You laughed again, and pushed at his chest so he could lay on his back and let you crawl on top of him to straddle his waist. “Not gonna lie, I didn’t think you had it in you, Diggs.”
His jaw dropped completely as he looked up at you. “But you said that I could do a lap dance when even I said I couldn’t!”
“That’s true, but to be fair, I never said you couldn’t do a lap dance. I just didn’t think you’d do as well as you did.”
Your response brought yet another smile to his face as you leaned closer to him. “I’mma take that as a compliment.” He said softly.
At this point, the song Daveed had chosen had ended a while ago and the lap dance was long over.
“Good.” You responded before you kissed him again.
This one was different from the first. It started off soft, but quickly turned passionate and heated. As your mouths moved against each other, Daveed’s hands moved from your hips up to the hem of your shirt, his fingertips grazing your bare sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. The only word you could use to describe this feeling was just complete bliss.
When you reached down to Daveed’s belt buckle, he shivered, causing you to smile against his lips.
Then he pulled away, panting. “Y/N…” he breathed. “Are you sure about this? You don’t have to— fuck.” He cursed as you pulled back completely to unbuckle his pants. “I don’t wanna push y—” 
“Daveed,” You said, before pausing quickly to put a hand on his scruff, tenderly moving your thumb to caress his cheek. “I’m absolutely sure about this. Now please, shut the hell up so I can blow you.”
You smirked when you saw his eyes widen and when you crawled off of him to go in between his legs, you heard a quiet, “Okay.”
Wasting no more time, you removed his jeans and boxers to free his erection. You could see Daveed’s chest begin to rise and fall quicker when you took his length into your hand and pressed a kiss to the tip of it.
“Oh, shiiit.” He drawled softly when your mouth wrapped around him, slowly sucking your way down as far as you could. As you began to bob your head up and down, Daveed’s breathing increased with each suck and occasional flick of your tongue.
Now, he was fully panting. He lifted his head up to look down at you, causing him to groan. After a minute or two, he brought a hand down to move some strands of hair out of your face.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he babbled, “I...I shouldn’t...oh God, I shouldn’t be this fucking close.”
You slowly pulled off of him and he brought you back up to kiss him again.
“You,” Daveed breathed against your lips, “are way too fucking good at that.”
You grinned.
“And,” he continued, “this clothing situation is a bit unbalanced, don’t you think?” 
His thumbs grazed the waistband of your sweatpants. When you nodded, you pulled them down along with your underwear. You moved off of him to take them off completely and remove your shirt and bra, leaving you just as bare as he was.
You climbed back on top of him, straddling his washboard abs, when he ushered you to move up. You obeyed, moving forward an inch or two, but Daveed shook his head and grabbed your thighs, moving you himself.
“Daveed, what are you doing?”
“Returning the favor.” He said simply, bringing you over to his face.
“Oh,” you breathed when you felt his tongue lightly touch your clit.
The man’s mouth worked miracles from between your thighs. Daveed kept you still above his skilled tongue, occasionally giving your ass a squeeze.
“D-Daveed,” you gasped, your mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ as his tongue lightly circled your clit before he brought fully into his mouth to suck gently.
This was the best head you’d gotten...well ever, actually. He wanted you to feel the best you’d ever felt and he definitely achieved that.
Before you knew it, you were reaching your high, climaxing as you shouted Daveed’s name, not caring how loud it echoed throughout your apartment. When you crawled back down Daveed’s body, the two of you shared a sloppy kiss as you both breathed heavily.
Although you just came, you weren’t completely satisfied. You still wanted him... needed to feel him inside you.
You moved to position yourself above his cock, but he made you pause before you could do so.
“Y/N, stop,” Daveed panted. “Condom.”
“Don’t need it.” You replied quickly. “I’m on the pill.”
“Oh, fuck yes.” He replied, releasing you so you could resume what you were about to do.
You breathed out a laugh before you slowly sank down onto his length, making both you and him release a groan. 
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” he gasped. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.”
Your fingers ghosted along his stubble-ridden jaw. “I think I have an idea.”
When you adjusted to his size, you began to bounce and he helped you, meeting each of your thrusts as he guided your hips onto him.
Your lips met Daveed’s yet again and you captured every moan that fell from his mouth, he did the same for you. As your pace quickened, so did each grunt, pant, and moan. You felt your pussy begin to clench again like it had when you came before.
“I’m gonna come,” Daveed said quickly against your mouth.
“Fuck.” You groaned. “Me too, D.”
“Come for me, sweetheart.” He breathed, bringing a hand up from your hip to cup your cheek. “You can do it.”
And you did.
Your walls clenched around him and you gasped, letting your orgasm wash over you in waves. Daveed came shortly after you, and continued to thrust, riding the both of you through your highs.
As you came down and pulled yourself off him, you collapsed, exhausted, halfway leaning on him and halfway laying on your couch. You moved a hand up to rest on his chest again, closing your eyes in bliss as you relaxed against him.
After a minute or two of silence, Daveed broke it.
“Wait, so...does this mean we’re friends again?” 
You looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. He was still on that? Wow, what a dork. “After this? Everything that just happened?” You asked bewildered. “God, I hope not.”
“Fine,” he said letting his signature bright smile show up on his face, still breathing heavily. “More than friends?”
Your heart fluttered in your chest and you grinned widely back at him. You leaned up to softly kiss his jaw before you gave him your answer.
“Way more than just friends, D.”
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kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years
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Batboys with Ambitious S/O HC:
Dick Grayson:
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·      He met you one day while you were on the phone rushing to a meeting
·      Neither of you were paying attention
·      You bumped into each other and after apologizing and exchanging names cause both of you were both immediately like “hot damn” lol
·      Once you were finally out of your meeting, you saw that he had given you his number
·      It was dropped in his bag
·      Like Jesus you needed that trick with business cards or something
·      You texted him a few days later and he asked you out for a coffee
·      That was when he realized who he was dating
·      Your schedule was FULL and he understood that but like wow girl
·      Once you guys started dating he realized how dedicated you were with work
·      Was lo-key worried that you’d replace him with more work
·      You promised him, and yourself that you couldn’t do that
·      He’s really supportive
·      He is also always telling you to go tf to sleep
·      Doesn’t want you to end up like Bruce or Tim in that sense
·      Always there for moral support
·      Basically, like your personal cheerleader
·      The best person to go to when you get good news or even bad news but like
·      He goes nuts when you finally get where you’re going
·      Over all, a very supportive mother hen type, 10/10
Jason:
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·      You guys had known each other before he died and were taken in together by Bruce
·      Needless to say, when Bruce found you and Jason, he had one wheel and you had the other
·      You guys had a great bond and he always knew you as the dreamer kind that always wanted more
·      You were so exciting to start school actually
·      You saw it as a step forward
·      Bruce knew about what you wanted to do because Jason would always talk about it
·      “Yeah Y/N wants to do *rambles for an hour*.”
·      Bruce wants the best for you and so he lets you do some more schooling first and then BOOM business is booming baby
·      Well sort of
·      I mean it obviously took a bit and then Jason died and that slowed things a TON
·      When Jay came back though, you were at the top
·      You hadn’t totally moved on from him at all and when he came back you were a mess for a few reasons
·      Took a vacation with him when schedule permitted
·      He doesn’t technically make you go to sleep
·      He just greatly encourages it
·      He is aggressively supportive
·      “Hell yeah Y/N, that’s my Gf/bf kicking the competition’s ass!”
·      “Jason, this is a formal event, don’t say that!”
·      “Sorry babe.”
·      You two are moved in together pretty much the moment he’s back
·      You two were best friends and always will be so yeah that was simple
Tim:
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·      You wanted to make it big in the music industry
·      You’d come from a terrible position too
·      Grew up in Chicago with a very powerful family who was killed and went into an orphanage due to the mob
·      The moment you got out, you were making music
·      Good music too
·      You sky rocketed to the top of the charts
·      That’s when you started dating someone, got your heart broken and made a sad album and then after that a very independent kind of marching to the beat of your own drum album
·      He met you on the tour of that
·      You were his favorite singer and he related to you a lot
·      Met him as Red Robin when your hotel room got robbed in Gotham
·      He went to the next show to make sure you didn’t die or whatever and caught the bad guy sneaking on stage before taking him out
·      He got your number for that
·      After that you guys started dating and quickly you knew who Tim was
·      That’s when socials went W I L D when you posted a picture kissing his cheek
·      You dropped an album called “Lovely Little Mess” about catching feelings and whether or not it was a good thing or not
·      He goes to the studio with you and you have an apartment together
·      You’re both up late working whether it be you writing or planning out things
·      He helps pick album covers sometimes if you’re really stuck
·      Listening to new songs
·      He isn’t good with tour outfits or putting songs onto albums because he loves them all
·      Doing interviews together or always waiting for the other to get out of interviews
·      omg the pap LOSES it when you two go to events together
·      Actually, everyone loses it so yeah 🤷‍♀️
Damian:
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·      You were class president of the grade you two were in at the time
·      You were the first student he met at Gotham Academy that he didn’t hate up front even if you didn’t catch that
·      You had to show him around the school
·      Came with curly, half up, half down hair, uniform pressed, and basically stood like a president or queen
·      He really expected you to be a pretentious snob but you were everything but
·      He noticed that even if you hated someone, you were still nice if they could give you a step up or anything really
·      “So, what else do you do L/N?” He asked as you two walked down one of the hallways when you were showing him around
·      “I’m not really a sports person, I have my own business about to start right now though.”
·      *shook*
·      “And are you class president because you want to be or is this also a step up?”
·      “You ask a lot of questions Wayne.” You laughed, “Actually I do like this position but it also helps me get more opportunities at GA. Even when other colleges come around, they like to look at the class officers.”
·      He started making sure he was outside when you would go on morning bike rides since you live in the same neighborhood that he does
·      Or close enough to bike at least
·      I mean, you saw that every successful business person has a good schedule so now you hold yourself to that especially during summer
·      Bike ride before 9 am, cold shower, breakfast, some reading for school, any summer school work if you get any, and basically just having a good day (This applies except for weekends)
·      He got to know you more and more and fell hard
·      You were the dreamer type and it was beautiful
·      You had this look in your eyes every time you’d talk about something you wanted
·      Genuine rare person and he loved that
·      You guys stay up late together but he does eventually make you go to sleep
·      Gets worried when you don’t
·      He thinks it’s incredible, the things you do on top of a busy as hell high school life
·      He likes to show that off about you a lot
·      “My beloved is class president, president of 4 different clubs, runs her own businesses, and she is an over -all genius and will probably take over the world.”
Duke:
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·      Is very proud of you and tells you often
·      Basically, that very supportive best friend
·      He’s someone that you can just go to whenever you’re stressed or just need a quick break
·      Will always make sure that you’re okay even if it’s just ranting about work
·      Goes to everything with you
·      He also lets you network at galas and stuff and is there for moral support cause that crap gets annoying
·      Talks about you 24/7
·      If you two are working late, I stand by this that he’s either playing Lofi, Khalid, or just chill vibey music
·      He is overall the perfect breath of fresh air from everything that goes on in work life and just life in general
·      Whenever something works out you guys go to a cool coffee shop and celebrate
·      Or a date somewhere
·      He’s also always putting notes or music recommendations in your bag so you find them when you go to work
·      “I noticed you seemed nervous so listen to *song* today when you can.”
·      It’s always the perfect song btw
Luke:
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·      Both of you are very smart and ambitious
·      You two are probably running something together
·      Both working late
·      Very competent people
·      Put together lives
·      Best planners
·      Everything
·      It’s couple goals whenever you’re around each other
·      Even when you’re not tbh
·      He loves that you’re a hard worker and are always aiming for the top like he is
·      Very supportive
·      You have a very mature but youthful relationship
·      I don’t think he could be with someone that was really lazy and didn’t do anything at all
·      You’re perfect
·      Probably planning to propose already
·      He just knows you’re the one
·      He introduces you to the Batfam after a while and his father approves of the relationship which is amazing
·      Tag team couple
·      If one of you is down the other automatically goes into pick up mode
·      It’s really nice just to have someone to help you bounce out if you burn out
·      He totally won’t judge you when it happens or you just want a break from running full speed
·      He totally gets it
I hope you guys are having a great day and have had a great week! I stayed up wayyyy to late last night but I was watching a Yale lecture, doing my wall stuff, and then I got an entrepreneur toolbox from Dave Ramsay and I was really excited to get into it so that happened. I’m also so ready to be off my woman issue time so that I can go on a bike riddeee. I miss being outside but I’ll probably go tomorrow, we’ll see. Anyways, I hope you’re all doing great
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bastardtetsu · 3 years
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{day 11} natasha & anatole | terushima x reader
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pairing: terushima yuuji x gn!reader
genre: meet-cute at a rock concert, fluff but with lots of s*xual tension ya know
wc: 1.2k
warnings: implied alcohol consumption (there is a bar present), nervous/romantically inexperienced reader, suggestive thoughts & tension but nothing else, copious sustained eye contact
⍋⋆*❅。. 25 days of fic-mas mlist .。❅*⋆⍋
look straight into my eyes nearness, tenderness smile at me gaze straight into my eyes
—natasha & anatole; natasha, pierre, & the great comet of 1812 (music & lyrics by dave malloy)
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a rush of cold air is what catches your attention first.
you wheel around, somewhat startled by the sudden chill penetrating the warm, stuffy little venue, packed with bodies bouncing and thrashing to the blare of the music. the volume isn’t as deafening at your table back by the door - however, now the door is open, letting in the brisk nighttime air, and a man.
the next thing that gets your attention is how exceptionally good-looking he is.
your gaze is fixed on him as he makes his way towards the stage, confidence radiating off of him. the way he garishly saunters through the crowd would have looked more ridiculous if he weren’t so attractive - his blond hair is messily slicked back, exposing his pierced ears and shining brown eyes, and as he slips his jacket off you can’t help but notice his toned arms flexing through the sleeves of his t-shirt.
when your eyes dart back up to his face, they are met with a pair of brown eyes gleaming right at you. you feel your heartbeat speed up, your body freezing in place. his gaze stays on you as he passes your table, offering only a nod and a nonchalant grin before disappearing into the crowd.
you slowly exhale, releasing the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. those few seconds of eye contact somehow felt like hours to you. who was that?
you’ve been on dates with guys before, but none of them have ever looked at you like that. maybe that’s why none of those dates ever led to anything - there was always some sort of block, a barrier of forced politeness. but those eyes pierced right through that barrier just now, grabbing hold of you and trapping you without having to speak a word.
the crowd lets out a thunderous cheer as another song ends. you turn your head towards the bar and immediately catch those piercing brown eyes, riveted on you once again. you quickly avert your gaze this time, heart rate skyrocketing, but only a few second pass before you cave into the urge to try & sneak another peek.
no sneaking is possible, you quickly realize, because every time you turn to look at him he’s looking right back, unabashed in his enthrallment. even as he leans in to utter something to his friend, he doesn’t break his gaze. you can’t hear a thing over the start of the band’s next song, but it’s obvious: he’s talking about you.
you finally give up, attempting to focus your attention on what’s happening on the stage. rock shows aren’t exactly your scene, but your friends had convinced you to accompany them to this one. maybe they'd predicted that you would opt to stay at the table and watch their stuff while they ventured into the crowd to dance - not that you mind. you prefer to remain hidden here in the back, away from the chaos of the crowd.
“hey.”
a voice cuts through your thoughts. you turn to find those of wide brown eyes, now right beside you at your table. any chance of hiding evaporates as they beam at you, transfixed.
“you look really familiar. were you at higashiyama’s last weekend?” he leans in closer so you can hear him over the band. you catch a glimpse of silver on his tongue as he speaks.
“um… i don’t think so,” you respond timidly, heat rising to your face. he’s just as handsome up close, if not more so.
“ah, well nevermind. my name’s yuuji, what’s yours?”he replies, unfazed.
“i-i’m y/n,” you stutter nervously.
“how do you like the band?”
“um, they’re good,” you reply, unsure of what else to say and already burning up in the heat of his gaze.
“listen, y/n, my buddies and i are throwing a party next saturday,” he goes on, leaning in even closer but never taking his eyes off you, “you should totally come.”
“oh—“
“it’s gonna be super fun,” he insists, eyes alight and still fixed on you, “i promise!”
“oh, i…” you trail off. yuuji’s boldness seems to come naturally, and while such straightforwardness would normally be a turn-off for you, he has a certain naive charm that puts you at ease. the bright smile on his face is almost childlike, especially paired with his wide, eager eyes that you can’t seem to look away from.
“you don’t have to answer right away,” he reassures you with a cheerful grin, then without missing a beat, “so are you from around here?”
“uh, y-yeah,” you stammer, attempting to collect yourself, “what about you?”
“i just moved here!” he chatters, “i’m still adjusting, you know, getting used to the change. i didn’t like it much at first, honestly,” he chuckles, letting his gaze drop for a second while he brings a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. his eyes are quick to lock onto yours again, grinning suggestively before he purrs, “but now i like it a lot better.”
you can feel the heat rising through your whole body now, heavy bass reverberating in your ears - or maybe that’s your heart pounding, it’s hard to tell anymore - as the blond stranger drinks you in, allowing his smiling eyes to travel down your neck, over the curve of your shoulder all the way down your bare arms resting on the table.
you scour your brain for a response, but the only thing your mind can conjure are images of his arms wrapped around you, squeezing your back tightly against his chest while his mouth explores your exposed neck. you imagine how his lips would feel latched onto your skin, the cold metal stud making you shiver as he drags his tongue up—
“so, how about next saturday?” yuuji’s voice interrupts your lecherous train of thought. those intoxicating eyes are still on you, twinkling with infatuation. “you’ll be the prettiest one there,” he adds with an inviting smile.
words continue to elude you, mind blank as his intense gaze renders you speechless. despite the physical space between you, somehow that stare makes you feel impossibly close to him. you find yourself getting lost in it, the music and the crowd fading away until it’s just the two of you, invisible in your own private world, no barrier standing between you. no one has ever made you feel like this before.
it’s a bit frightening - a complete stranger rendering you so bare and vulnerable with his eyes alone - but at the same time there is a kind of reassurance in their glow, a tender comfort that soothes your trepidation with sweet unspoken words. the corners of your mouth twitch upwards involuntarily.
“i’ll think about it,” you finally reply, allowing a coy smile to grace your lips, “why don’t you put your number in my phone?”
yuuji’s face lights up into a triumphant smile, his brown eyes glowing even brighter than before.
you’re about ready for those eyes to ruin you.
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a/n: okokok this one was super fun to write !!! forever obsessed with the way great comet blends the inner worlds of the characters’ minds with reality — we know exactly what the character(s) is/are feeling inside, and the lyrics almost read like narrative fiction as a result, so it was an interesting challenge to translate that to actual narrative fiction and try to maintain the feeling of the music at the same time! terushima is also such an anatole it hurts me. i don’t have a performance to link for this one bc great comet is kinda impossible to film due to the nature of the show, but i might have a bootleg link or two if ur interested enough to dm me…
taglist: @izagraceee​ @musicgetsmeoutofbed​ @azo-musxas​ @tsumurai @ghostlydiamond135 @animeboysimppp @starshaped-raindrops
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summerofsnowflakes · 4 years
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1. Tipsy Decisions
Summary: Y/n and Daveed has been flirty friends for a while, she decides to make them a little more than just friends after getting a lil bit drunk. 
Daveed Diggs x Reader 
Word Count: 2K 
Warnings: 18+ There is some smut. 
A/N: This was purely a self indulgent story for myself after a pretty crappy evening.   Enjoy 
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Although the night was young, you had already managed to get a tipsy far too early. You and your friends were out for a chilled night at a bar in the city, convinced at this stage you had surpassed that club lifestyle. However, even in the early stages of the night the group got louder and actions got sillier, if you were being honest with yourselves, you couldn't further from the truth. As you sat around the table chatting you noticed the missing presence of two very important members of the group, Rafael and Daveed. You and Daveed had the flirty banter friendship thing going perfectly, but there was something between you but neither of you seemed ready to take this further than that for the time being. Maybe tonight could change that.
"Earth you Y/n." The sound of your friend's voice bought you back to reality.
"Sorry what?" You asked, you could feel your body heating up.
You were met with a knowing look. "And who were you thinking of then huh missy? They asked in a teasing tone.
You glared, they were very aware of your situation. "I doubt I need to say it really, but I'm going to sleep with Daveed."
"Excuse me?" You were met with an amused look.
You repeated yourself. "Tonight's the night, I am going home with Daveed. Providing he's happy with that of course. "
"Good one sis." You know your firend saw it as a joke because you had said this before, countless times actually and you always chicken out. You ignored the disbelief in their voice and focused on letting the liquid courage relax you and enjoyed the nervous buzz as you impatiently waited for Daveed and Rafa to arrive.
You were not disappointed by the sight you were met with as he made his way over your table, he was dressed in a plaid cuffed trousers and white dress shirt that was tight enough that it accentuated his arms. His signature curls bounced as he stepped. You felt like you your skin was buzzing in anticipation. Daveed always looked good but tonight was another level, you were already so gone for him. He managed to land himself in a chair next to you and you were hit with his cologne as he pulled you into a hug to say hello. You wanted to melt into his touch right there, but you pulled yourself back and acted as though he wasn't having this effect on you. You reveled in the attention he focused on you, and flirted with him non stop, you left light touches on his arm and you made sure he had a good shot of your cleavage. You did your best to be more full on than normal, in the hopes he would catch on, it certainly didn't go unnoticed by Rafael and Daveed as they shot each other unspoken looks about your behaviour.
You and the girls had decide dance as the drinks continued to flow, while the remaining friends stayed sitting, they changed up seats to so they could chat over the music in the bar. You weren't aware but Daveed couldn't take his eyes off you. Your not so subtle tactics had really been paying off for him and he was entranced as  swayed your hips to the beat and sang along, you were having the best time but it was time to set you plan in motion. You 'accidentally' tripped right by where he was sitting so that as you fell you landed in his lap, you giggled loudly.
"You okay Y/n? you didn't hurt yourself?" He looked at you with concern and he naturally placed his hands on your body.
Still laughing you replied as sweetly as you could. "I'm fine, sorry hun total accident. Thank you for cushioning my fall though." You ran hand down the opening of his shirt and hooked your fingers around his necklace, ghosting your fingers over his chest as you spoke.
He laughed back still holding onto your body. "Anytime sweetheart."
"I must say though Diggs, you look positively fantastic with me on top of you."
"Oh yeah? well you are a beautiful sight."
You looked away momentarily as you felt your shyness trying to creep back in. You shook her off quickly though before leaning in closer to him. "Can I tell you a secret D?" He leant in too before you continued. "I'd like to be on top of you without any clothes on."
Daveed coughed loudly as you spoke to drown out your words to the people around you, he looked around the group quickly to check whether you had been heard. His eyes flickered back to you, studying your face as he tried to figure out whether you're joking.
"I would let you take me right here if you would let me." You purred into his ear.
That was enough for him he felt the room spin at your words. "Meet me in the bathroom." He whispered back and you nodded giddily at your success.  
The next five minutes were a total blur and it wasn't until you were being pressed up against a cubical wall that your head resurfaced from the Daveed's intoxicating waters. You held on to him for dear life as he assaulted your lips and your neck with kisses, you were desperate for one another. One hand trailed down your body while his other hand was placed at the side of your head, you were trapped, not that you were trying to go anywhere. You deepened the kiss and you felt his hand reach under the short flowy dress and his fingers ghosted along your panties. You moaned at the mere contact with his hands on you and his other hand flew to your mouth.
"Y/n, baby. You need to be quiet darling or you're gunna get us in trouble." Unable to talk, you nodded in response.
He let go of your mouth and went back to work down below as he roughly kissed you again. He expertly moved your panties to the side and he ran his finger slowly over your clit, you could have come undone right there it. He moved slowly in a circular motion and your head fell back against the wall, your breathing increased at the pressure you felt on your most sensitive area. You heard the door to the bathroom swing open and you gasped as Daveed used this opportunity to slip his finger inside of you.
"Y/n. Are you okay? Do you need me to hold your hair back hun?" You heard one of your friends call out from the other side of the cubical. Your eyes widened and he smiled devilishly nodding at you to answer while he continued to expertly work you close to your orgasm with his fingers.
Through ragged breathing you found your voice, "I'm all good, just ummm. Just needed a minute to myself. I'll be out soon."
"Okay, well text me in you need me yeah?" She asked.
"Of course, thanks lovely."
When she had gone Daveed pulled his fingers out of you, teasingly slowly. Just as the knot in your stomach had began to form and you whined in response. Daveed ignored you and spoke softly and sweetly as though he didn't just have his fingers buried deep inside of you.  "Make an excuse to leave, I'll have an car out front in five. I'll go out first." He left with one more kiss to the lips. Needless to say your plan had gone way better than expected. You let out soft laugh to yourself about what had just happened, still in disbelief he left you in sexual suspense, half finished.  
By the time you had made your excuses, gotten the taxi to Daveed's flat and sat down on his sofa, you had more than enough time to feel more sober. In the cold light of the early hours of the morning your courage had diminished and you began to worry you had gone a bit too far with all of this. It seemed Daveed was in the same boat and as he handed you a glass of whiskey. Your hand brushed against his and you both chuckled to yourself about the whole evening. He powered through the awkwardness and sat himself down next to you, he started a conversation about something really random that helped you both feel more at ease. The drinks went down easy and the soft touches started back up again. Daveed's body called out to you and you couldn't resist him any longer. In a bold move you crawled into his lap to straddle him and ran your hands across his chiseled torso, he watched the movement of your hands very aware of his heavy breathing.
"Don't be nervous D, I told you earlier you look best when I am on top of you. Now stop fretting and kiss me." You brought your lips to meet his in a passionate kiss and both snapped back to the confident groove from earlier. In the heat of the kiss Daveed placed his hand firmly on your hips and moved you back and forth forcefully against the hardness of his cock. You both moaned at the sensation of the friction caused by your movements and you began to take over, grinding into him to show how much you were craving his touch.
Through the ragged breathing Daveed whispered in your ear. "Not that I am not enjoying this Y/n, but I want to finish what I started earlier for you Y/n? Clearly you itching with anticipation." His words sent a shudder down your spine and your cursed him silently for being so cocky even if he was right.
"Please." Was the only response you could manage as your body ached for his touch. He answered your prayers but teasingly so, he ran his hand up and down your body before slipping his hand under your dress for the second time that evening. This time lightly grazed his fingers agonizingly slow along your leg  and you wriggled in response trying to get him to touch you. He chucked lowly at your impatience. "Y/n you're body is so irresistible to me, let me enjoy touching you and I promise I'll get you there."
You let go of your impatience and allow him to have his way and when you were least expecting it he inserted his finger deep inside of you and you cried out in pleasure. He started off moving in and out slowly and you allowed him to have full control of your body. You whispered his name along with a full list of profanities. You started rocking yourself back and forth in time with his finger and he added another finger inside of you. You were a full on mess on top of him riding his hand and chasing your much needed relief, still pent up from earlier. Daveed looked up at you in total awe as did all the work yourself, his trousers grew incredibly tight. When sensed you were getting close he added a third finger and with his other hand he reached for your clit and massaged in a circular motion going at the same pace you were riding his hand.  Within second you were coming undone on top of him the pleasure sent shockwaves through your body as you rode out your high out slower now you had fallen over the edge.
As you came back down to earth you opened your eyes that had been screwed shut for who knows how long and Daveed is already smiling up and you. He looked proud of himself and you let out a breathless laugh.
"Girl, you have got me so gone. That was the hottest thing I've ever seen." Daveed spoke gleefully before leaning in and kissing you once again. "You think you can take another one?"
You smiled back at him, still floating. "D, I'm completely at your mercy."
That was all he needed to hear.
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felismiscellaneous · 3 years
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Casonverse Expo
ok so after you see this you Cannot save it. the whole thing about the casonverse is that its solely “oral” and memory based. i cannot write down “rules” to it or anything. this post Will be lost to time and youll just have to deal with that
ok so. we begin. our story. w/ an explanation on how ectobiology has been going on earth c. basically, every once in a while to increase genetic diversity, a babeh between two of the original founders is created randomly, and said founders get to decide if they want to adopt that babeh or not.
now its been a very very long time on earth c and all of these bitches are immortal. yep. every single one. even the non godtiers, they get an immortality boon for winning the game. you know whats also a boon? all of the players getting revived. yep. every single one. because this is my au and i can do what i want.
anyways as i was saying basically at some point a babeh between john and karkat is made and this time theyre like “yeah ok well adopt this one” SO. they be goin there. and the ONE TIME they decide this is the right time the baby is fuckin BROKE. the internal organs of trolls and humans dont mesh very well when the genes are combined in the ectomachine, and this baby is basically just dying very slowly. this baby isssss Casey! well, shes not named that by her parents, but well just call her Casey for now.
john and karkat do their fuckin best to keep this thing alive but her tiny baby body is completely dysfunctional. and doesnt last very long. This is Traumatizing for Everyone Involved. anyways!! a pretty long time after that we have Cason and Jones. they were spawned at the same time. Jones is rose and kanayas horrible ectospawn, and Cason happens to be another equally horrible spawn between john and karkat! they decide to adopt this one, and fortunately it lives. This was Their First Mistake.
but before we get into Cason, lets get into Jones. Jones is,,,, very socially awkward. in fact, she often comes off as creepy to everyone else. this makes her very clingy towards her mothers, who arent That terrible at parenting. theyve got quirks, but theyre good for her. Jones doesnt really have any friends, except this Totally Cool and Not at All Dangerous cult she gets dragged into! this is the second secret shes ever kept from her mothers. the first is that shes the one who keeps bringing snails into the house. Jones likes snails, but shes not good at taking care of them. she just keeps bringing them into the house and feeding them her snack. her snack is rat poison. snails like and digest rat poison safely. snails! she likes them.
ALSO APPARENTLY SHE CAN SEE GHOSTS???? yeah lets get into that. see, Casey becomes a Regular Ghost after she dies. not a dream ghost, just a plain ol ghost. and anyways, shes around the same age as everyone else if not a year older due to Ghost Rules now, and Cason is the only one that seems to be able to see her. and then theres Jones. Jones is absolutely stunning to Casey and yes she falls so hard in dokis. but Jones is trying to ignore the fact that she can see ghosts. it makes her feel like even more of an outcast. ooooo drama! anyways those two have their own background plot going on about fighting eldritch gods or something idk.
LETS GET BACK TO CASON. see. Cason. is The Worst. like, genuinely. ever since he was a kiddo, he was a completely spoiled brat from day one, and spent his childhood Looking Down on People for multiple reasons. for one, hes the son of TWO FUCKING FOUNDERS AND RAISED BY THEM, two he got away with EVERYTHING, and three i think its just in his nature. Cason prides himself in being knowledgeable and better than everyone else, but he is not like Other Egomaniacs((tm.))
Cason doesnt necessarily care about being liked, even if he WAS a great manipulator, or being the best at Everything. he couldnt care less about sports or popularity. all he wants, is Control. just like hes had since day one. This is Terrible for Everyone Involved.
but most terrible for anyone, is Tippie Piyjon. Tippie is terezi and nepetas ectospawn, which, really started it all. now, terezi and nepeta are not horrible people, or even necessarily horrible parents, but theyre just not suited for it. Tippie raised herself on romance novels and the like, especially after being sortve taken in as a goddaughter by karkat almost immediately after she was born. and, because of this, she got to meet Cason very early on. there was hardly ever a day where the two werent around eachother, whether they liked it or not. in school, at their own house, wherever. now, being around Cason of all people all the time, meant you knew exactly how he operated.
and well, Tippie figured that, maybe, if she was just good enough, she could change him. and Cason used that to his full advantage. the two became moirails, which was Fucked Up for Everyone Involved, and grew ever closer. now Cason, being Cason, was Extremely Emotionally Abusive to Tippie. she had to do what he asked, whatever it was, even if it wasnt morally right, she had to stay by his side, she couldnt cry in front of his parents, she had to get good grades so he wouldnt look bad, so many damn things she had to do. even if he never once laid a finger on her, her mental health was, slowly but surely, chiseled down.
every attempt at defying him was met with such coldness, or hed act more warm towards her, so surely she was doing something right and had to keep going. just had to be good enough. hell get better eventually. Cason earns the title of #1 Gaslighter Extraordinare. the only place she found any solace away from him was grubscouts, which she joined on her own terms when she was very young, and at the time was a camp counselor even! this lasted. for so many years.
Cason is nineteen whenever i depict him, and Tippie is seventeen, but very nearly eighteen. eventually, she cant take it anymore, and snaps at him. usually this doesnt last, and he would manage to calm her down eventually, but shes fucking Tired of it. he hasnt changed. not even a bit. well. Cason cant have that, now can he? the first time he lays a hand on her, he slaps her across the face. Big Mistake. though terrified, Tippie lashes out, and claws Casons left eye out, making a terribly deep gash that would leave him permanently blind in that eye whether or not he got treatment.
this scares the SHIT out of her, and Tippie runs off, for the first time, to her mothers. as she cries, she recounts how terrible everythings been and how she didnt mean it and shes sorry and- theres nothing to apologize for. its very clear, that they shouldve stepped in sooner, shouldve noticed something was wrong. meanwhile, Cason crawls home to his own dads, who are rightfully spooked seeing their son with a horrifically bloody face and a gouged eyeball. they only had a second to try and comfort him, before he snapped at them, showing a bit of his true nature to them for the first time, and also, terezi showing up behind him. after a thorough explanation which was mostly just a few stern, if a little tearful words, Casons parents are completely mortified. karkat quickly kicks him out in an act of raw emotion. no chance to grab clothes, or for john to interject, Cason is left outside, alone, and with absolutely no power left. what will he do?
theres also other characters but theyre like babies so they dont have much characterization and also arent very important to the story. but here they are ig:
owen, jade and daves child. hes like, 3. he likes sticks and playing in mud. hes 3 what more do you want from him
siyren, aradia and feferis kiddo. shes like, 6. she likes ballet, arts and crafts, and being snooty
damien, eridan and solluxs kid. hes 10, likes calling people slurs over xbox, and overcompensating since his parents waited so damn long to adopt him after his slimebirth
killer, who named himself, aradia and sollux kid. hes like 11 or something. he likes being edgy and has the same issue as damien. in fact, all but siyren have this issue
toga bitch, who i have currently yet to name, aradia and eridans kid. shes 12. she likes earth rome and chilling in public fountains. a burgundy whose violetkin
wemon wemon, who is also currently unnamed, feferi and eridans kid. hes 13, the oldest. he likes earth lemon demon and horror special effects
carrie, feferi and solluxs kid. shes like 11, likes dance dance revolution and earth 9s
rosie, calliope and roxys bab, whos a baby. jane is also her mom
ben, tippies far future carapacian bf, who likes boring shit like birdwatching and scrapbooking. malewife supreme. a very soft dude, and just wants to help his gf w/ her trauma and join her grubscout troop on earning badges. just a great, if boring guy
notkonyyl, just as unnamed, a notcanadian oliveblood who enjoys going to the gym, frequenting bars, being cool, flirty, and defending her moirail to the death
notkuprum, haha unnamed, is a human, and the moirail to notkonyyl. he likes things like being annoying, flirting with everyone taller than him ((most people)), the nintendo switch, and defending his moirail to the death
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editorialsonlife · 3 years
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Well
Welp, feeling like doing an update because there's been a lot going on to be honest. its one of those weird dichotomies where every day feels like an eternity and there's so much going on and then you look back and you're like oh, ok its just my brain making it difficult and making things take forever but anyway.
LOCKDOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNN
Lockdown life was good, apart from being thrust into it so suddenly dave left a banana on his desk. Wasn't great to come back to after 5 weeks out of the office - mummified mouldy banana!! Classic. We luckily got our first jab before lockdown started so that was good, and we were reasonably well stocked up on food and were generally a lot healthier this lockdown that last. honestly, there's a level of chill and serenity in lockdown that i just love. the ability to set my own schedule and only work the hours I actually work to get the job done? Amazing. getting 8.5 hours of sleep each night without having to wake to an alarm blaring? AMAZING. getting to go for walks every afternoon? SO FLIPPING GOOD. I love it so much, I really really do. I need this to be my life permanently.
WORK
Work is just ongoing and draining and honestly, coming back to the office was so fucking stressful and it was only one day. Being at home is just the fucking bomb. Pending home decisions, I wanna go contracting I think, but also ideally two part time contracts to have more flexibility? I dunno. You'd think a big 4 would provide variety but it really doesn't and honestly, with Richie leaving, wellington is just a sinking ship. Sean's off on parental leave, Kirstyn is down to four days a week, ben will be gone if he doesn't get promoted (and I don't think he will be tbh). Jack is just muddling along, Nigel wants to swap to consulting as well, Matt's going to be a shit leader in terms of bringing in work so it's just not going to work. and in our wider group it's going to get even more messy with heaps of the analysts leaving and a couple of senior hires too. so I think it's probably time to jump ship in general, pending the home stuff below. Also, coming back after a break again, I'm like, I don't actually like a lot of you? All the people I enjoy here are in other teams and groups, and I'll be sad to leave you all, but like, not enough to stay anyway lol.
Pending the home below, two options are to just going and get a job with a $30k payrise to make up for the maternity leave benefits I'm gunna leave behind when I leave this role - 18 weeks full pay, $100 a week for the first year back and a full year of maternity leave. It's basically 30k post tax which is a bit nuts to walk away from to be honest.
Otherwise the other option is to go contracting. Less security overall but holy shit so much money. If I went in as a project coordinator at the lowest rate to build up a bit of a portfolio I'd need to work 40 weeks of 40 hr weeks and Id basically match my current salary plus the lost family leave benefits and still qualify for govt maternity leave payments. Realistically I could go in as a project manager for $140 an hour ($60 more an hour than the above math) and absolutely smash it at that level as well so ya know, there's a bunch of other info. I like the idea of the flexibility of it and only having 6 months even if its a shitshow and beign able to walk away at the end of it. I really don't want to get a govt job and this is a v govt town which is fine but also, if I can avoid it that would be great. I just know I'm not gunna thrive in that environment.
Need to talk to Dave to get him across the line on the security issue part of that though. I've mostly come a long way in terms of my financial management (thanks YNAB) so I think he'd be ok with it mostly.
So there's a lot to toss up there because......
HOME
We got the reno plans done during lockdown, finally. which was super good. but holy fkn jesus $$$$$$ ++++++++++. The guy is coming around for the final quote on Thursday. We indicatively said $100k total because we're doing kitchen laundry bathroom and toilet. so only the most expensive rooms and when I was talking to him last week he said 'that might cover it' and they're seeing cost escalations of 7-10% a week which is just insane. we're not doing anything structural apart from putting in a cavity slider in the bathroom, and the quote they'll give us won't include flooring since they won't do it.
Meanwhile, the prefab homes I were looking at for our site were $425k fully done. Like, I'm not going to spend $130K on doing up my 1940s ex state house ya know? That's not good cost benefit ratio.
So depending on what that comes out at on thursday we'll be able to make some plans.
We also want to start trying for kids next year and need these renos done first - I am not having kids and no dishwasher lol.
Also we need bank financing so good to be in a permanent stable job for that application. the good thing is we have so much equity we know we can borrow whatever we need, I just don't want to spend that much money on it because it's fkn ridiculous. and if I'm going on maternity leave we need to be able to cover it all on dave's salary and whatever benefits I have as well so there;s a lot of financial planning and spreadsheeting going on at the moment lol. it's fab.
either way. we've got plenty of options up our sleeve. we've got friends who's brother owns a building company so we can talk to them, we've got the garage so we can get things prefabricated even if they're not installed til next year, Dave can get shit at cost through his work for whiteware, there;s plenty of things to like cost control we can do, we just need to know where we're starting from basically. thats the challenging part. but we'll figure it out, its just taking longer than I want it to basically.
We also planted up the vege garden for the spring/summer which was lovely, super jazzed about that. we've finally got the garden to a reasonably low maintenance level where everything is mostly under control and it's such a relief, honestly.
PERSONAL
Man what a shift to lockdown last year honestly. I think the last 8 weeks in particular has just been like, a massive reality check of how absolutely shit the last year was and how fucking glad I am to be rid of it. I spent a week absolutely spiralling 2 weeks ago now and honestly, I don't know how I lived in the state for more than a year. I actually don't know how I did it. and I could not be more glad that I'm finally on the other side of it, for the most part. There's still a bunch of other stuff to work through (hahahahahaha when is there not like damn) but fucking hell its nice to just not be anxious and nauseous and wound up constantly. life is actually accessible. miracle.
My workmate had his bebe - I went round and got newborn cuddles and was like, oh, is this what it is to be clucky? this is odd. so there's that as well. I think we'll probably start trying next year pending renos and jobs etc. If the renos can be done in jan I'll prob just stick it at the job to get the benefits but I dunno. it's a tough call to make really. we shall see. This all assumes we get knocked up without any issues which is questionable these days. I really want to feel healthier before getting pregnant as well, and part of that is losing weight. however, given discussing that is what triggered the spiral we're working on that one slowly.
Also, lets have a moment for counselling, because fkn bless anne and all her hard work honestly. I actually ended up emailing her being like, I;m losing my shit on the monday and then talked to her on thursday. And its so funny because it's such a counselling thing but I didn't realise until afterwards what she'd done but she was like you're clearly not doing well and then the night before dave got a fkn miserable migraine and he was up for like, 2 hrs powerchucking except he didn't make it to the bathroom in time so guess who was cleaning up vomit at 130am trying not to chuck herself but I digress. anyway, not doing well, couldn't even explain why, didn't even have words and super tired and she's like, what lynaire up to this week how's she going with izzy and chat about that and then be like how are you feeling about your body and then 5 more mins of chat about the cat and the chickens and then like bam hard question and then hows it going with x and y and z and its like, it wasn't til I was on my walk afterwards when I FINALLY started feeling marginally better I was like damn woman work your magic for figuring it out for me and helping me reregulate. all over the phone as well since we were still in lockdown. GREAT WORK FRIEND.
and then last week was like totally fucked theoretical discussion about religion and the role it's played in my life and fate vs free will and all this nutty shit but genuinely just a great discussion. She's the best and I love her. thank good for good counsellors. thank god I can afford to pay for it honestly.
Dave and I are just chugging along, god bless that man. I love him. its amazing. I miss having friends close by but understand why they had to move (boooooo f u house prices). Family is pretty chill, still not really talking to dave's parents which is nightmarish but we'll deal with that when we need to. gunna have to go and visit them at some point coz dave misses them and I feel for him, I really do. It's the whole boundaries renegotiation I went through with my family last year post wedding blow up and its just not a fun place to be. oh well. can't fix it for him but also I'm not putting up with that level of BS from either of our families once we have children. not gunna happen.
Either way, life is busy and full and fun and I'm enjoying it. Daylight savings starts this weekend too, its october next week WTF and I'm just waiting for 4pm to find out what's gunna happen to our girls trip. Clearly we cancelled our sept trip to christchurch and akaroa and hanmer springs so my covid travel curse continues. fkn ridic. Still dunno what we're gunna do with $2500 of flight credits coz if we get knocked up theres def no international trips happening any time soon.
thus concludes the almost 2000 word write up of life. hope you've enjoyed it. I'll throw up some pics in a separate post if people care about reno plans. such a good time!
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C21 #2
Hey, Sollux and Aradia are back! How nice!
SOLLUX: hey l0ser. it’s been a l0ng time. KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A... KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A “LONG TIME”?! KARKAT: IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME?! IT’S BEEN MORE THAN A FUCKING HUMAN DECADE! KARKAT: I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE DEAD. ARADIA: no i wasnt dead KARKAT: NO, I MEAN LIKE KARKAT: “GONE FOREVER”?? KARKAT: I THOUGHT THAT YOU TWO LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST ANYMORE! KARKAT: OR AT THE VERY LEAST WERE TRAPPED IN A DEAD UNIVERSE PERPETUALLY COLLAPSING INTO ITS OWN ASSHOLE. SOLLUX: 0h. n0pe.
Aw, man, Karkat lost Sollux multiple times. First in the Vast Glub, then not really during murderstuck, then again during Cascade, then never really seeing his ghost again. And Karkat and Sollux were tight, by the sound of it. How do you even process this?
JADE: ughhh... DAVE: yo babe its ok JADE: easy for you to say! youve got practice with this kind of thing! DAVE: just remember its not actually your corpse DAVE: i mean technically it is DAVE: it both is and isnt your corpse at the same time DAVE: which yeah the longer you think about it like that the more fucked up it gets DAVE: but also when you objectively think about it the combined multiverse is a huge tangle of interrelated but totally random events and its only chance that this specific life is the one you ended up living DAVE: you and that corpse could have just as easily switched places DAVE: but also that would never actually happen because its not how paradox space works DAVE: anyway my point is that nothing really matters so chill out JADE: um, i love you with all my heart dave but youre REALLY not helping right now
Dave never did get therapy did he.
DAVE: the first time rose hugged me it was such a disaster we didnt make eye contact for like a week after KANAYA: Jade Come Here I Shall Hold You In My Arms JADE: thank you kanaya at least ONE of you knows how to treat a lady in distress! JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow. KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?
Why did they write Jane this fucking racist? Even a spoiled rich kid from 2011 ought to have internalized enough PCness not to say shit like that out loud even if she thought it!
ROXY: look everyone im not dumb ok even tho i act like it sometimes ROXY: i know whats goin on here ROXY: that were all drifting apart ROXY: and i know thats just a normal part of growing up and making new families ROXY: and i guess learning that some people have unbridgeable divides on political stuff ROXY: i can accept that things arent gonna always be the same as when we first met
Well at least Roxy isn’t acting so unsettling. Also I think that line about politics was meant for the audience rather than the characters because Jane’s politics are self evidently crap. There might not be an easy answer but there is at least one wrong answer and Jane has it.
ROXY: out of a sempiternal number of possibilities we are the only incarnation of this exact specific moment in all of existence ROXY: i think that we should all look around and be super grateful for what we ROXY: wh... what we ROXY: wh... wha... ROXY: whoah fuck Roxy’s voice starts to crack. She staggers off the podium, clutching her bloated stomach. CALLIOPE: roxy? are yoU okay? ROXY: of course im not ok i just WENT INTO FREAKING LABOR JOHN: oh my god!
Birth at a funeral. That would get a smile out of Dirk, I think.
JOHN: doing ok there, sweetheart? ROXY: ugh whyd i let you put this thing inside me
pffft.
CALLIOPE: wait! i... CALLIOPE: i woUld like to be there as well! JOHN: hurry up then! Calliope begins sprinting after John and Roxy but doesn’t make it two steps before something stops her in her tracks. A feeling that crawls under her exoskeleton. She stands deathly still for a moment, and then turns to face the coffin. Something about the corpse has transfixed her. She curls her fingers around the rim of the casket and leans in, studying teen-Jade’s peaceful face. Suddenly, the corpse bolts upright. Calliope yelps and falls on her butt. Adult-Jade screams. JADE: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! JAKE: By jove! DAVE: jesus fuck
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So i dont know if i've asked this before or if i'm just imagining stuff(fucking adhd) but if you still do the pedro headcanons, how do you think each of his characters would act on their wedding day/getting married?
You have not asked me this one before! Hmm. Ok, let’s think about this.
@pascalispretty and I have, of course, talked about this in excruciating detail lol. We think that Maxwell honestly wants everything to be as normal and as chill as humanly possible- he wants to go before a judge with a couple of witnesses and just do it, no fuss, no nothing.
Oberyn is calm, of course he is. He’s faced oncoming armies, charging battalions of horse, fuck, he’s fought the gods damned Mountain, this is a piece of cake. He’s excited though, happier than his brother has seen him in a while, excepting the births of his children. And the smile that stretches over his face when he sees Ellaria lead you to the sept is blinding; the sun that hovers over the deserts of Dorne pales in comparison.
Ezra is nervous. And that makes you nervous. Ezra is supposed to be the one that always has his head screwed on straight in this partnership, the one who gets you both out of scrapes and into good jobs with a few turns of phrase. He’s still talking- of course he is- but not a lot of it makes sense and he doesn’t finish most of his sentences. Well, if he isn’t going to be calm and in charge today, you guess that it’s your turn.
Tovar still isn’t totally sure how this happened. He’d never considered the possibility of marriage, and to be frank he still isn’t completely on board with the idea. But it seems to make you happy, and if your lives were going to go on in much the same fashion as before, what right did he really have to complain? It was a piece of paper, he supposes that he could tolerate the ceremony and the standing and the sitting and the, fuck no, that stupid ass was not spraying him in the face with water again, no that is where he drew the line.
In Din’s eyes the two of you have been married for months now, ever since he taught you that phrase in Mano’a. That one that it seemed so important to him that you repeat back perfectly. He never told you what the words meant exactly, just that it was a commitment ceremony of sorts, so while you watched him go about his business as if you weren’t getting ready to be married in a few hours, you latched on to that scene from a few month ago to try and soothe your nerves. You turn to Paz who was cleaning a blaster next to you and ask him what the words meant. He chokes. “You mean he didn’t tell you?” You shrug. “Not exactly, no.” Paz sets the gun down and repeats the phrase in their language with reverence. He then translates for you: “We are one whether we are together or apart, we share everything, we will raise our children as warriors.” And you understand now why this day wasn’t nearly as never wracking for Din. 
Max micro manages everything. Which honestly is cool with you because he’s good at making sure tiny details are taken care of promptly and accurately. It keeps him occupied and gives you one less thing to worry about. You have enough on your plate already, wondering if (because, technically speaking, Max was dead?????) this is entirely legal. Also maybe you should make an effort at not thinking of him as dead again, that’s kind of weird. You start to worry and meet his eyes across the the living room of your apartment. He grins at you, the same smile that you are sure helped many a sorority girl out of her panties back in college, and you are smiling back before you realize it. You kind of hate it when he uses his Manager Powers on you but you suppose you may need it this time so you’re willing to forgive him.
Dave is already married. Bigamy is both not cool and illegal.
Marcus is excited! He’s been waiting for this day since he asked you, planning everything, and leaving you with very little to do. He does ask every once in a while for your input but inevitably gets a little carried away and continues on his own. It’s hard to get mad at someone who so obviously can’t wait for this day. He’s practically vibrating that entire morning- you’ve seen junkies with less energy than this.
Javier is a little sullen. Bc he is incapable of dealing with his emotions and feelings like a big boy and instead of explaining that he is scared he might fuck up (again), he lashes out. Goooood thing you’re used to this and can just roll your eyes, pat his arm, and ignore it.
Catfish is Stressed and Nervous. He’s getting married, for fucks sake, of COURSE he is. And no, picturing everyone naked will not help, Ironhead, but thanks for being a dickhead as usual. Oh my god I forgot to get a sitter for the baby, what if- oh, right, thanks Pope, yeah I see her she’s right there and she’s fine and- wait, what if she isn’t though, should I just go check on her or, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEED TO CALM DOWN?!
Whiskey is cool as a cucumber. He’s a spy. He deals with much more stressful things than this- at least this doesn’t have the same kind of potential for bodily harm as most large gatherings he attends do. Plus. You’re wearing his hat as your something borrowed. And with that kind of distraction who has the brain capacity to think or worry about anything else.
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fiction-fun · 3 years
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Lost and Found Soulmates
@braidedchallah @alexanderdamnhethin @rthoney @creedtheconquer @andpeggy21 @theconfusedleo @friedrich-the-gay @haha-gunsgoburrr @hamiltimes 
Fandom: Hamilton? in a way? otherwise...Music?
Pairing: Daveed/OC
Words: 9598
I groaned and dropped onto the couch in sitting room of the dorm apartment I shared with a few of my friends.
“Girl! Just go! I will loan you the 20$!” Logan said sitting down by me.
I shook my head.
“I’m barely going to be able to cover next semester’s tuition. I couldn’t pay you back, Lo'. It was sweet of you to offer but I think I’ll just have to let this one slide by.” I said looking over to her.
She grabbed my shoulders and I looked up seeing Roxanne and Arianna behind her looking at me the same way she was. Logan shook my shoulders.
“Girl! You have talent, you know all the songs and choreography already! You can do this!” She said determination in her eyes.
I shook my head and stood up carefully.
“No, Lo' that’s final.” I said before walking into my room and locking the door.
I laid down and fell asleep quickly. But found myself woke up way to early in the morning the next day.
“Roxie, Ari I said no.” I grumbled as they forcefully dressed me and brushed my hair.
Yeah, they did this often. Usually when I was late to class. We all kind of took care of each other it’s why we decided to all room together.
“And we said yes. Now go have a good audition.” Ari said patting my head.
Roxie gave me a shove and Lo' pressed a 20$ into my hands, I groaned again and stomped off out of the dorm with them all cheering after me. I slid into my car and started it, putting the Hamilton soundtrack on in the car, I started the long drive.
“Might as well get some practice in.” I muttered just as the first song started.
I sang along as I drove and it felt like no time had really passed since I started before, I was pulling up outside the theater. I sighed softly and climbed from my car closing and shutting the door, I leaned on the car so I was looking over the roof.
“Come on, you can do this! It’s not like this is the first musical you’ve auditioned for! Yeah, but it’s also not the first Lin Manuel Miranda musical I’ve auditioned for and I’ll surprised if I get this one.” I sighed and shoved off my car, tucking my keys into my pocket. I paused for a second looking at the thin red string attached to my finger before stuffing my hand in my pocket.
'Not today.’ I sighed walking into the theater.
There were only a few there and some of them I recognized from the last time I had auditioned for a musical. I put a smile on my face and walked up to the sign in table. Quickly writing my name and grabbing one of the provided lyric packets I moved to lean against a wall. I always felt better when I was standing, at least, when it came to pre-audition jitters.
“Alright we’ll start calling them in, in five minutes and you just come in when you get here. No Daveed it’s no problem, traffic happens! It’s New York, really, I’m not surprised. Alright, I’ll see you in a few, bye!” I looked up at the familiar voice and smiled softly.
All the others here for the interview gasped and crowded around him the best they could I just stood back as he looked around smiling at everyone. I waved from the wall and his eyes went wide.
“Kaley! I didn’t expect to see you!” he said stepping over to me.
He gave me a small hug and stepped back hands still on my shoulders.
“Lin, how are you? You wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for my roommates.” I said smiling softly at the excitable man in front of me.
Lin wrapped his arm around my shoulder and walked towards a door with me.
“Oh, I’m alright. So why did they have to shove you out now?” He asked smiling.
I laughed and nodded.
“Oh, you know how I am at this point. Broke with no confidence! They literally dragged me out of bed this time, I didn’t even get coffee and I was to worried about being late to stop for some.” I said laughing as we paused outside of the door.
Lin nodded and turned the knob after letting go of me.
“Well just breath, you’ll be fine. I would have hired you last time, but circumstances.” Lin said apologetically
I laughed again and shook my head.
“No, it’s totally fine. I get it, I just hope I’m better than last time. I could really use the boost and the reassurance I’m on the right path.” I said softly towards the end.
Lin smiled and hugged me again.
“You’ll do amazing, I know you will! Oooh I’m getting that look, I have to go. I’ll see you out there.” He said before hurrying though the door.
I laughed and waved as the closed. I turned back to the room and saw the glares, I slowly put my hands up.
“He gets to know people who have auditioned for multiple of the shows he’s involved with. Chill.” I said muttering the last bit to myself.
I walked back over to the wall and leaned against it, flipping through the packet. This was a different style audition and the style was partly why I had decided not to come. Lin was choosing the songs we auditioned with. And due to an audition years ago, he knew I could rap.
‘Knowing my luck? I’m going to get Guns and Ships because he knows I know the words for it.’ I thought leaning back and closing my eyes.
Lin and I had met at an audition about 6 years ago, and we had instantly hit it off. Both of us kept checking the string just to make sure, that’s how close we were. But we ended up trading phone numbers and being good friends. I was one of the first he sent the demo for Hamilton, he had already called and raved to me about his idea. Which although it worried me that it wouldn’t be a hit, I was fully behind him, even more so after hearing the demos. The reason he was so surprised to see me? He had offered me a roll back when Hamilton was in its 'please take a ticket, come see our show!’ stage, I had been too busy with school to properly honor the commitment. I had also told him that I would want a fair audition, not to just be given the role because we were friends. I sighed as people started getting called back.
‘I hope the others do good. Even though I’m sure they hope I do badly. I’m getting coffee after this no matter what.’ I thought as I read through the packet again.
A few minutes later I heard my name and shoved off the wall, walking onto the stage I stopped and took the mic they handed me, handing them my packet. I walked to the front of the stage and leaned down a bit, glad my friends had picked a regular button up instead of something low cut.
“Kaley, firstly, good luck. Secondly your song, I’ve selected Guns and Ships for you.” Lin said a smile on his face.
The others at the table looked at him like he was insane. I smiled and turned to the stage pausing, and spinning back.
“I need the table.” I said my hands on my hips.
Lin sat back and laughed waving crew members in from the wings.
“I told you that would be her only comment!” Lin said laughing.
The others were still looking at him like he was crazy, even as I stepped up onto the table and nodded to Lin. The music started and I closed my eyes letting the intro wash over me. Without a second’s hesitation I jumped right into the song, singing and rapping it the best I could, my eyes snapping open as I jumped from the table, landing and bouncing around the stage a bit. A crew member, who wasn’t Christopher Jackson came out and did Washington’s part. I had just turned towards were the audience using my hands to my advantage.
“Sir, he knows what to do in a trench, ingenuitive and fluent in French, I mean!” I said bobbing to the music.
“Hamilton!” the Washington stand in said.
“Sir, you’re going to have to use him eventually what is he going to do on the bench? I mean!” I said bobbing.
“Hamilton!” came the call.
“No one has more resilience or matches my practical tactical brilliance!” I shouted.
“Hamilton!” was called.
“You wanna fight for your land back?” I called as I moved around the stage.
“I gotta get my right-hand man back!” the Washington stand in said sitting at the table so I could dance around him.
I went through the next few lines, really feeling myself. I grabbed the fake letter and just as I turned to run over to the stairs on the side of the stage, I heard the door open and glanced up, Daveed had just entered. I kept in motion, my legs knowing this part by muscle memory. I had just turned to hand the letter off when my string caught my eye. I swallowed as I realized, it was connected, and who it was connected to. The feeling hit me in a second and I stumbled hitting my knees, letting my head drop. Letting the wave of dizziness run over me.
“Alright that’s enough!” Lin called and I heard him jump onto the stage.
He kneeled beside me and placed a hand on my back.
“Kaley, what happened? You were killing it!” he asked softly, having already turned off both of our mics.
I just shook my head and looked over at him, not seeing Daveed there anymore. I closed my eyes, before slowly getting to my feet.
“That’s your only warning, breath when rapping!” I said trying to act casual.
Lin gave me a look, and followed me to the wing.
“Kaley! I’ve never seen you take a fall like that. And you've rapped faster than that before. So, I know that’s not it. What happened?” He asked concern radiating from his whole being.
I sighed and wiped my face.
“Just text me when you get done, I’ll explain after class ok?” I asked softly.
I didn’t think I could talk right now. I saw Lin nod and I turned running from the building. I climbed into my car and dropped my head to the steering wheel.
'It's one thing to not want me. Another to cause me to screw up. But now I just feel terrible. I thought as the tears slid down my face.
I turned my car on finally and started the drive back to campus. I sighed as I pulled into my parking spot. I wiped my face again before climbing from my car, walking slowly into the building. I still had another hour until my class, and I wanted coffee.
'And maybe ice cream' I thought sadly.
I opened the door to see all three of the girls waiting for me.
“Well? You killed it! You totally killed it!” Lo' said excitedly.
I smiled faintly and shrugged.
“No, I probably didn’t get the part.” I said as I walked to the kitchen.
I heard them walk behind me.
“But who else, besides the actual cast knows the musical as well as you do?” Roxie asked looking offended for me.
I shrugged and looked over at them.
“it doesn’t matter, let me just make my coffee and go read over the chapter for my class.” I muttered softly.
Ari walked over to me then and looked at me.
“What happened?” she asked.
I slammed my hands on the counter and spun around.
“What happened? I fucking fell, that’s what happened. Now I’m going to go read my damn chapter while my coffee cooks, just leave me alone!” I shouted running into my room and slamming the door shut.
I quickly crawled into my bed with my book in my hands, reading over it. About twenty minutes later Roxie walked in and looked at me.
“Lo' and Ari already left for class. I’m headed out shorty, but you should think about apologizing.” She said her hands on her hips.
I looked up and nodded.
“I will.” I whispered I didn’t think I could talk any louder than that.
Roxie looked at me, and sighed sitting next to me. She reached over and hugged me rubbing my back.
“Whatever happened really messed you up, huh?” she asked softly.
I snuggled into her hold and sniffled nodding.
“Yeah…I don’t want to talk about it.” I said softly after a few minutes.
Roxie nodded and sat back brushing my hair out of my face and giving me a soft smile.
“It’ll be ok. I have to get to class. Don’t forget to go to yours!” She called as she walked out of the room.
I sighed and set an alarm for twenty minutes from now. I went back to reading my book, drinking my coffee as I did. I heard a ding on my phone and initially ignored before sighing softly and grabbing it.
‘I shouldn’t just ignore everyone. I thought swiping open my phone.
I looked and saw a text from Lin.
“Hey what happened? I found Daveed in a similar position in the hallway.” His text read.
I sighed softly, and looked at the clock. I swore softly and jumped off my bed cramming my books into my bag I chugged the rest of my coffee before jamming my feet into my sneakers. I grabbed my Phone and Keys before running from the apartment, barley stopping to lock the door.
“I'm running late. I’ll text you after class, but seriously? Take a guess. I hope he’s ok. I gotta go.” I sent the text and ran into my class, sliding into my seat just as the bell rang.
“Close one.” A snide voice from the seat behind me came.
I sighed.
“Hello, Rachel I see we have classes together again. Why don’t we try to be mature and leave the childish actions for years passed.” I said, trying to be the bigger person.
She laughed and sat back.
“So, I heard you fell at the Hamilton auditions today!” she said loud enough for the whole class to hear.
I clenched my fists on my desk and took a deep breath.
“It happens, doesn’t help I had been rapping Guns and Ships while bouncing all over the stage. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you miss park and bark?” I said slipping in the last comment.
I tried to ignore her and listen to the professor it was difficult, but doable. At least it was until I heard her muttering about Daveed.
‘Oh hell no.’ I thought as I heard her utter a few choice slurs.
I spun around and grabbed her head slamming her face into her desk. Within seconds, we were rolling on the ground arms swinging. It took a couple of the football players to pull us apart and walk us to the headmaster’s office. A nurse was waiting in the office and I ignored her, but took the offered ice pack.
“Alright, girls what happened?” the headmaster asked when he called us in a few minutes later.
Rachel immediately started with the water works.
“She just attacked me!” she cried out over dramatically.
I sat back and raised an eyebrow, ice pack pressed to my eye. The headmaster turned to me.
“Is that true?” He asked his tone firm.
I shrugged and sat forward, pulling the ice pack off my face.
“Nope, I only slammed her face into her desk after she ran her mouth about me for a solid ten minutes and then started saying racist shit against a man I look up to, who we should all look up to. You do what you have to do, but I’m not apologizing to her, no, no way. I refuse, she brought this on herself.” I said firmly and the headmaster nodded.
He turned back to Rachel.
“Is that true?” he asked her.
Rachel looked smug, she should even if he tried to expel her, her dad would just donate money until she was let back in. It’s happened twice already.
“Why should she care what I have to say about some…” Rachel started before I turned to her.
“Do you want to go again?” I asked my voice cold.
The headmaster raised his hand and shook his head.
“Both of you will be out of school for a week, you can stay on campus but won’t be permitted to go to classes. You can get classmates to get your work for you.” The headmaster said with a tone of finality.
I nodded and rose to my feet waving as I walked away.
“But sir!” I heard Rachel about as I was walking away.
I walked slowly back to the dorm debating with myself weather or not to text the girls about what happened, before shrugging and deciding it had been long enough it would be all over school. I stepped inside the building and paused for a second under the heater, it was a cool New York day and this was nice, especially with the icepack. I walked up the stairs and slotted my key in the lock twisted and walked inside, turning and locking the door again. I walked into my room and dropped my bag on my chair before kicking off my shoes and falling into my bed. I sighed and grabbed my phone.
“Hey if you’re free and wanna chat, call me.” I sent Lin quickly.
Within seconds a video call was ringing on my phone and I sighed softly, answering it. Trying to hide the fact I was injured.
“Hey Lin.” I said trying to put cheer into my tone.
“Hey! So, what happened? And turn the camera I can’t see you.” he asked and I heard he still sounded worried.
I sighed and spun the phone a bit, letting him actually see me. I saw his eyes widen.
“What happened? When during the audition or after?” I asked loosing the false cheer.
“I was asking about the audition; we can talk about after afterword’s.” He said, giving me a look.
I sighed and laid back holding the phone over my face. That was the only 'down' side to being close friends with Lin, he worried and treated me like his little sister.
“My string.” I said softly looking to the side.
Lin’s eyes went wide before he tilted his head in confusion.
“But you two have met before, haven’t you?” he asked.
I shook my head adjusting the icepack.
“No, he’s the only one I hadn’t met yet.” I said softly, tired from the events of the day.
Lin nodded and glanced to the side before focusing on the phone again.
“So, what happened?” Lin asked and I shifted knowing he was asking about my face now.
I sighed and scooted up in my bed, my back hurt.
“I’ve had this girl trying to do better than me since I got here. We always have classes together, and she always says some crap to get me mad. Today I wasn’t really in my right mind, focused on everything else. So, I didn’t take her bait, which she didn’t like. She had heard about the fall I took and knew when it happened.” I took a second to stop talking reaching over and grabbing my water to get a drink.
Lin nodded and waited for me to continue. I sighed and closed my eyes, for a second before opening them again.
“Well she started spewing vitriol and I got mad.” I said looking away for a second.
Lin hummed.
“That doesn’t exactly tell me how you got so injured.” He said, he could always tell when I was trying to down play things.
I sighed softly.
“She was spewing racist garbage, so I grabbed her by her hair and slammed her face into her desk. A few seconds after we were rolling in the ground trading punches. Took two of the football players to pull us apart and get us to the headmaster’s office. I’m out of classes for the next week. That’s what happened.” I said finally looking back at Lin having looked away.
Lin’s eyes were wide at what I had said.
“And what happened to her?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“Technically? She got a week out of classes too. In reality? Probably next to nothing. Her dad’s a top donor so he has a lot of sway.” I said rolling my eyes.
Lin nodded and looked up again.
“I have to go but text me your room number and building, I’m sending you your favorite take out.” Lin said quickly.
I shook my head.
“Lin no! It’s fine!” I said quickly.
He looked back to me.
“No, I want to. Please?” he asked giving me his damnable puppy eyes.
I sighed and nodded.
“Alright, go do what you have to do.” I said with a small smile.
He smiled back and waved, ending the call. I sighed and texted my building and number to Lin. I set an alarm, and sat my phone on my bedside table and pulled the blankets over my head, I dozed off and quickly fell into a deep sleep. The alarm went off and I let out a groan. I sat up and turned my alarm off, moving out of bed and changing out of my jeans.
'How did that happen? I never fall asleep in my jeans.’ I thought as I grabbed my phone and walked out to the living room.
I looked at my phone seeing that the girls weren’t going to be back tonight. I sighed and made some coffee letting out a yawn.
“Looks like it’s just me tonight, well at least I don’t have to worry about dinner.” I muttered softly as I moved over to the couch.
I picked up the remote and flipped on some stupid mindless show as I sipped my coffee. I sat back and watched the show, just waiting for a ding of my phone with Lin letting me know the details or a knock. Around 7:30 I heard a ding and looked at my phone. Seeing a text from. Lin.
“Kaley, hey! Sorry I completely lost track of time. You know how I am with new shows. Foods on its way though, be nice to the delivery guy, I was kind of frantic on the phone!” I laughed softly and shook my head.
This was exactly like Lin.
“Don’t worry about it Lin! I know how you are, when you get working! I’m also always nice to delivery drivers. Have a good evening Lin, I’ll message you in the morning.” I sent quickly, already knowing he’d ask me too.
I turned back to my show for a little while longer before a knock on the door pulled me out of the show. I stood up and sat my cup on the table, walking over to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw a paper bag in front of it, I could just make out the logo of my favorite take out place. I undid the lock and pulled the door open.
“Hey! Thanks!” I said smiling at the other person.
That’s when he lowered the bag and I swallowed thickly.
“Hey, can we talk?” He asked.
I nodded mutely and opened the door wider, stepping back and letting him in. I closed the door and waved him over to the couch.
“Do you want a cup of coffee?” I asked more so I had a second to gather myself.
“Yeah that’d be nice.” He said.
I nodded and walked into the kitchen after grabbing my cup. I heard footsteps behind me and leaned up to grab another cup. Pouring the coffee and turning, freezing.
“We should probably start with introductions, even though I’m sure we both know who the other is.” He said.
I nodded and sat the cups on the counter, where he unloaded the food spreading it out. I grabbed a pair of plates and the milk from the fridge. Walking over to him and setting them down, I sat in a chair.
“I'm Kaley Sinclair. Although, in theater I’m mostly called Hyper rush.” I said smiling slightly.
He sat down across from me and reached to grab the milk after I had used it.
“I’m Daveed Diggs, and except for characters, that’s all I’m known as.” He said smiling softly.
I laughed a bit and reached over grabbing some food.
“So, how did you end up delivering dinner? Not that I’m complaining.” I asked before quickly amending.
Daveed laughed and shook his head.
“No, it’s ok. Lin asked me too, plus I have prior delivery experience.” He said laughing down more.
I laughed and winced slightly when my twitched, he instantly noticed and gave me a worried look.
“Are you ok?” he asked softly.
I nodded and waved at my general self.
“I’m fine, just a bit banged up is all.” I said waving it off.
He placed his non string hand over my non string hand and rubbed his thumb over it gently, I smiled at his thoughtfulness.
“I heard a bit of what happened.” He said quietly a minute later.
I looked up at him and shrugged lightly swallowing what I had in my mouth.
“I'd do it again.” I said simply.
His eyes went wide at that, before a soft smile slid across his face.
“That’s….” he just smiled; I flipped my hand.
“It’s what humans should do and how we all should act. She should have kept her mouth shut.” I said firm in my beliefs and already knowing his thoughts on it.
Daveed smiled again at my words and I let out a soft sigh, smiling gently right after. We ate in silence for a little while, finishing eating and slowly packing away the food. Daveed stood looking awkward in the living. I sighed softly and stepped in front of him.
“Relax. We can sit and talk.” I said gently nodding to the couch.
Daveed nodded and we walked over to the couch both of us sitting. We sat silently for a few seconds before Daveed let out a breath.
“I'm sorry.” He said softly.
I looked at him and raised a confused eyebrow.
“Sorry for what? You didn’t do anything wrong.” I said softly with confusion lacing my tone.
He smiled softly and shook his head.
“The audition, Lin told me you were killing it. But you fell.” He said softly.
I nodded understanding on my face, I let out a small laugh, which caused him to look up at me.
“Yeah, they always say the rush will knock you off your feet. I just didn’t expect it to literally knock me off my feet. But don’t worry it’s ok, not your fault.” I said reassuringly.
Daveed lifted his hand the red string still connected to us both, with a small smile.
“I mean it kind of is.” He said softly.
I shook my head.
“No, it’s not. It would have happened eventually. And actually, I’m glad it happened now.” I said with a small smile.
Daveed looked up at me with a confused look on his face.
“Oh? Why?” he asked looking as me.
I laughed and stood, waving for him to stay there I walked into my room and grabbed a small envelope from my top desk drawer walking back out and sitting next to him again, handing to him. Daveed opened it and looked back at me.
“Because it would have happened with you on stage otherwise. And I wouldn’t want that.” I said gently.
He looked up from the tickets in his hand to me with a small smile.
“How are you so…. calm?” he asked finally, after a few seconds.
I couldn’t help but laugh as he passed the ticket back to me.
“I’m not.” I said simply as I stood up and quickly stashed the tickets before sitting back down.
He gave me a confused look, and I smiled a bit.
“To be honest? I’m still waiting to wake up, because this feels like a dream. I didn’t expect you to show up at my door, especially not after …” I broke off and shook my head a small smile on my face.
Daveed gave me another, unreadable look.
“After?” he asked softly.
I looked down and away from him, fiddling with the class ring on my hand. I took a breath and let out a small sigh.
“Especially not after I looked up and saw you were gone.” I said softly, I didn’t know if I could have actually spoken up right then, at least not without my voice cracking.
Daveed reached over and took my hand again, letting his thumb stroke over the back of it.
“I’m sorry, it washed over me so quickly and I didn’t want the others to see me, and realize what happened until we could get a chance to talk. I tried to catch you but you left so quickly. And Lin still figured it out, how I’m not sure.” He said looking into my eyes.
I bit my lip and nodded.
“Lin probably figured it out because if me.” I said softly.
That caught his attention, and he gave me another curious look.
“How, did he figure it out from you?” Daveed asked curiosity clear.
I shrugged lightly and smiled softly.
“Lin and I have known each other for six years. We text, and he texted asking what happened and mentioned finding you on the same position. Without thinking, because I was rushing to class, I basically told him 'I’m late to class what do you think happened?’ and then went to class.” I explained.
Daveed nodded a smile on his face.
“And of course, he figured it out, and decided that setting us up like this was the best idea.” Daveed finished my thought.
That cause a big smile to cross my face as I nodded and laughed a bit.
“I mean that’s how Lin is!” I giggled out.
We sat like that laughing and laughing getting to know each other for a while before I yawned softly. Daveed smiled gently down at me from where I had ended up tucked up to his side his arm wrapped around me.
“Maybe I should let you get some sleep.” He said softly and I snuggled more into his side.
“I don’t want you to go.” I said softly.
He laughed softly and gently nuzzled his nose into my hair.
“But you need to sleep.” He said and I felt the smile he pressed into the top of my head.
I sighed and nodded tilting my head a bit to look up at the clock and frowned slightly.
“You can’t leave now.” I said definitely.
Daveed laughed again and shook his head.
“I’m not going to keep you up all night, besides we can always plan to meet up tomorrow.” He said softly.
I shook my head and unwrapped one arm from around him, pointing at the clock he looked up and his eyes went wide.
“It's already two in the morning. You won’t get back into the city for another hour then who knows how long it’ll take you to get home or where you’re staying. By the time you get home you’ll have to almost turn around and leave for rehearsals in the morning, won’t you?” I asked softly looking up at him.
Daveed rubbed a hand over his face and sighed nodding.
“It’s worth it though.” He said softly a smile taking over his face.
I giggled softly and snuggled into his side.
“You can always stay here and leave in the morning after a couple hours of rest.” I suggested lightly.
Daveed looked down at me a smaller smile crossing his face.
“And your roommates?” he asked softly.
I shrugged.
“They’ll be curious but I’ll keep them away from you for now.” I said quietly.
Daveed laughed a bit and squeezed me gently.
“Alright.” He said finally.
I smiled up at him before slowly uncurling from him and standing up holding out my hand to take his and lead him to my room. We walked in and I ducked into the closet looking through what I had.
“What are you doing?” he asked a small laugh in his tone.
I hummed light before finally finding what I was looking for.
“Ah-hah! I ordered a pair of sleep pants but they sent me a pair about four sizes too big. But I kept them, because I figured they’d come in handy. And they did!” I said spinning to face him.
Daveed smiled at me and took the offered pants and headed to the bathroom to change. He came back smiled gently at me.
“Alright, we should sleep, and thank you.” He said softly.
I smiled gently and walked over to him, he had pulled his shirt off as well and I couldn’t help wrapping my arms around him taking a deep breath. He laughed softly and wrapped his arms around me rocking us gently. I smiled and snuggled into him.
“We have one more thing we have to do first.” I said softly as I pulled back and pulled my hoodie and t-shirt off, leaving me in just a tank top.
He raised an eyebrow as I tossed them into the corner.
“What’s that?” He asked me softly.
I smiled a bit and lifted my left hand wiggling the finger with the red string attached to it.
“I mean, if you want to.” I said softly second guessing myself when he didn’t answer after a few seconds.
He quickly wrapped his arms around me again and pressed his face into the top of my head.
“Of course, I do.” He whispered softly.
I let out a soft sigh, having let my fears get the best of me for a second. There were multiple ways what we were talking about could be done. Daveed uncoiled his arms from around me and stepped back a step, a smile on his face. He used his right hand to lift my face and leaned down, pressing his forehead to mine.
“Are you sure?” he asked softly his voice barely a breath over my face.
I swallowed and nodded my eyes locked with his.
“Absolutely.” I whispered.
Daveed smiled gently and leaned in, connecting our lips. I sighed softly into the gentle kiss, completely relaxing into it. He let his right slide up the side of my head resting on the side of my face, as I let mine drift up and press against his chest. I felt his left-hand land on my shoulder and slide down my arm slowly. I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach the closer his hand slide to mine. I felt his hand hit my wrist and then he twisted both of our hands so they we’re palm together. I gasped into the electric feeling, hearing an equally sharp gasp. Daveed laced our fingers and let the electricity race through us, as we continued to kiss. The feeling started to lessen and we sighed softly, after a few minutes we pulled back and pressed our foreheads against each other. The feeling had lessened but the tingle was still there.
“Woah.” I whispered softly.
The kiss had incited fireworks to flash and the bond forming had cause electricity to course up and down our spines.
“Woah.” Daveed agreed just as softy.
We smiled at each other sharing another sweet soft kiss before climbing into the bed. He laid behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I sighed softly and relaxed into his hold, reaching over and setting an alarm.
“When do you have to be up?” I asked softly.
Daveed hummed for a few seconds.
“Probably around seven, so I can be there by nine.” He said nuzzling into the back of my neck.
I giggled softly as I set the alarm.
“Your beard tickled me.” I murmured softly, relaxing back into him after setting my phone down.
Daveed laughed softly and rubbed his face against my neck again, making me giggle again. I fell asleep with him rubbing soft soothing patterns into my side. Hours later I groaned hearing my alarm going off, I reached over and swiped it off with a sigh snuggling back into the warmth behind me and froze for a second as the memories of last night came back. I sighed and rolled over laying my head on Daveed’s chest smiling softly when he wrapped his arms tighter around me. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I sighed softly in response.
“Mmm good morning.” He murmured; voice heavy with sleep.
I felt a small shiver run through me at the gravelly tone his voice had and pressed a small kiss to his chest in response.
“Good morning.” I said just as softly.
Just as I tilted my head up to get a proper good morning kiss, my door swung open and I lunged out of bed grabbing it and slamming it back shut.
“Roxie or Ari or Lo' NOW is NOT the time!” I shouted leaning against the door and breathing heavily eyes wide.
I heard a sigh from the other side of the door.
“You’re going to be late for first class come on!” Roxie called, beating on my door.
I laughed and shook my head, sending a look and small apologetic smile to Daveed, I turned and slipped out of the door closing it behind me to lean against it again.
“Roxie, I got into a fight yesterday. I’m out of class for a week.” I said slowly reminding her and waving at my face which was by now no doubt sporting a black eye.
Roxie sighed and tilted her head back.
“Right, forgot sorry. So, who’s the guy?” Roxie asked a smirk on her face.
That’s when I realized Ari and Lo' were right behind her wearing the same look. Logan held Daveed’s jacket in her hands with a smug smirk. I growled and held my hand out.
“He’s mine, and that’s all you need to know currently. Look go to class or go in your rooms. He has to leave soon and you three aren’t going to hound him.” I said firmly as Logan handed me his jacket.
Roxie tossed her hands up and grabbed her backpack turning to the door.
“I took some of the take out for lunch!” she called as she walked out.
Logan following with a similar call. And Ari just waved before going back into her room. I sighed and turned back walking back into my room. I smiled at Daveed who was now sitting up on the edge of my bed.
“I'm sorry about that.” I said softly sitting down beside him.
He smiled and leaned over tilting my head and pressing a kiss to my lips.
“It’s ok, they’re curious.” He said softly.
I nodded and watched as he stood up. And moved to get his clothes I stood up and wrapped my arms around him, splaying my hands over his abs. I hummed lightly and he laughed, turning and wrapping his arms around me.
“I have to get ready.” He said softly.
I sighed and nodded nuzzling my nose into his chest.
“I know but I find myself not wanting to let you.” I whispered.
He smiled and pressed his face into my hair, before pulling back and uncoiling one arm from around me. He tilted my head up and pressed a kiss to my lips, I sighed softly and leaned into the kiss, using this time to really memories how his lips feel against mine. When oxygen became a necessity, we pulled back pressing our foreheads together and he brushed his nose against mine, drawing a small giggle from me.
“Now it’s a good morning.” He said with a warm smile on his face.
I nodded a warm smile over taking my face as well.
“It is.” I agreed softly.
We pulled back and he moved to the bathroom, turning at the door he sent me a smile.
“Why don’t you come with me? I’m sure Lin won’t mind.” He said softly with a smile playing on his lips.
I smiled back and nodded.
“Ok, sounds good.” I said softly.
He smiled back and turned to the bathroom. I moved to the closet and quickly got dressed stepping out I saw the bathroom door open so I looked in, seeing him stood in front of the mirror, messing with his hair. I giggled softly as I stepped inside.
“There you are.” He said dropping his arms to wrap around me.
I smiled and leaned up pressing a kiss to the underside of his chin. Delighting in the light shiver that I felt travel through him. I reached up into the cabinet and pulled out a pair of toothbrushes and toothpaste smiling and handing one to Daveed.
“I always have extra.” I said in explanation when he looked at me.
He laughed and shook his head, before we quickly began brushing our teeth, he kept one arm wrapped around me. I sighed softly and leaned back against him, smiling gently at him in the mirror. We finished our teeth and looked up in the mirror, I reached over and grabbed my brush and ran it through my hair. I smiled softly as I pulled hair up into a ponytail. Daveed took my hand and lead me from the bathroom and out of my room. I paused for a second smiling up at him.
“Later Ari!” I shouted grabbing my bag and keys.
Daveed and I walked from the room and down the stairs, leaving the building. He led me over to his car and we climbed inside, retaking each other’s hands almost on autopilot as Daveed started the car and put it in drive. We got on the road and Daveed lifted our joined hands to turn the radio on, turning the volume down with a small smile.
“Hope you don’t mind. I usually listen on the way in.” he said softly.
I shook my head with a smile and leaned over, and kissed his cheek.
“I enjoy your music.” I said simply.
Daveed turned and sent me a smile before quickly turning back to the road. The ride didn’t seem to take as long as it actually did and before long, we had pulled into a hotel parking lot.
“I have to run up and change, otherwise neither one of us will ever hear the end of it.” He said smiling gently.
I nodded, a smile playing on my lips.
“Alright.” I said softly.
He lifted our hands and kissed the back of mine.
“I’ll be right back, maybe ten minutes.” He said smiling.
I nodded and watched as Daveed climbed from the car, still holding my hand until he had to let go. He closed the door and sent me a smile before running into the hotel. I sighed and leaned back against the comfortable seat in the car. Grabbing my phone and opening it to look at any messages I might have. My eyebrows furrowed together when I saw frantic messages in the group chat with Roxie, Ari and Logan.
“Girl! You have to see this! Rachel has gone too far!” Roxie sent, alongside a photo.
I raised an eyebrow, in a chat where we sent basically porn pics often enough, we didn’t usually use the 'cover image’s feature on the app. I tapped the picture and my eyes went wide a gasp slipping from my lips. There on screen was a horrible flyer, with the nastiest words imaginable printed on it. I felt the tears well in my eyes as I read all of the words. From disparaging and hateful words about me to hateful and nasty things about Daveed. I backed out of the photo quickly, my thumbs flying across the screen.
“Take then all down! Now! Get rid of them all! I’m not on campus please, Roxie, Lo' Ari! Please you have to do this, it can’t get out, I can’t let him be drawn into my feud with that hateful witch! Please this could really hurt his career! Burn them if you have to but make sure nobody else sees them!” I sent frantically.
Just as I hit send, I heard the backdoor open and close a second before the front door opened, I looked up at Daveed who was dressed in new clothes.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked having seen the look on my face.
I heard my phone ding and looked down quickly.
“I’ll explain in a second.” I whispered, my voice shaking.
“Girl, already done. Just focus on you and him we got you covered here!” Roxie sent along with another image.
This one showed Ari and Lo' holding boxes of the flyers and a shredder between them working away at a stack of them already.
“Thanks girls I owe you one, we both do. Keep it up.”  I sent before sighing and turning.
I looked over at Daveed who was watching me with concern. I sighed and closed my eyes opening the app on instinct and swiping up a bit.
“I'm so sorry to drag you into this. We’re already doing damage control so it shouldn’t get out, there shouldn’t be rumors or anything.” I whispered softly.
“Kaley, what happened?” he asked reaching over and taking my hands.
I sighed and freed the one holding my phone sending him a small, worried smile.
“The girl who did this, posted hateful posters all over campus. They’re horrible but Roxie and Lo' saw them got Ari and got them all down and are now destroying them.” I whispered softly.
Daveed lifted his free hand and placed it on the side of my face, his thumb rubbing gently over my cheek. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning into his hand.
“Ok, it’ll be ok.” He said reassuringly.
I sighed and opened my eyes looking into his, I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
“Remember, they’re all down. And getting destroyed currently.” I said softly.
Daveed looked at me confused for a second before I clicked the picture and turned my phone to face him, he took the phone and held it in his free hand. I saw his eyes scanning over the flyer, his eyes widening each time he saw something new. I knew he finished when his head dropped back against the car seat. I watched him as he worked through his thoughts, he turned his head to me and slipped my phone into the cup holder raising his hand he placed it onto the side of my face, drawing me forward he pressed a kiss to my lips. I kissed back just as fiercely as he kissed me but after a minute we pulled back, and he rubbed his thumb over my cheek.
“None of that is true.” He said firmly as if trying to make me believe.
I smiled softly and nodded.
“I know it’s not; I wasn’t worried for myself. I was worried for you.” I said gently.
Daveed gave me a sweet smile and shook his head.
“I’m ok, I was more worried with how you reacted than anything else.” He said softly.
I laughed a bit.
“I reacted like that because I didn’t want my stupid school yard feud to get this far, to involve you. I know if your label sees that shit, they’ll call and talk to you but they won’t like that it’s out there. I won’t let anything interfere with your career. That’s the only worry I had.” I said just as softly.
He huffed out a small laugh and kissed me again. Leaning back, he started the car again pulling out of the parking lot.
“It’s ok, they know me. And your friends seem to have it under control. Let’s just try and enjoy our day together ok?” he asked softly.
I nodded and smiled gently at him.
“Yeah, sounds good to me.” I agreed easily.
With that the short ride back to the theater was quiet besides the soft music playing in the car. Daveed pulled into a spot and he turned the car off turning and smiling at me.
“Lin is never going to let us hear the end of this.” He said softly lifting our joined hands and pressing a kiss to the back of mine.
I laughed softly.
“Like he’d even try! He’ll just be giddy and giggly and bouncy all happy because of this. And knowing him….” I said laughing softly and trailing off, shaking my head.
Daveed laughed, nodding.
“He’s going to be singing the kissing song as soon as he sees us.” He finished my thought.
I laughed at the thought and Daveed joined me laughing loudly. We laughed for a long time, both unable to stop. We finally managed to stop and climbed from the car. Daveed reaching into the back to grab his bag as I checked the message that just came in on my phone.
“It’s done! We’ll handle the rest of damage control have fun!” Logan sent into the group chat.
I smiled softly sending a quick message back.
“Thanks girls! You’re amazing!” I slipped my phone away.
Daveed took my hand as soon as it was free giving me a gentle look, I smile and lean up pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“The girls just finished destroying the posters and wanted to let us know.” I said smiling softly.
Daveed nodded and kissed my forehead before leading me inside. We stopped at the office so Daveed could say hi to some of the people there and I waved politely when they looked at me. Daveed had wrapped an arm around me at this point and led me down the stairs towards his dressing room.
“Daveed! There you are! I thought you were going to text me when you got home?” Lin’s voice came sailing about a mile a minute from behind us.
Daveed looked down at me at the same time as I looked up at him.
“Yeah, I only got home this morning.” Daveed said turning us carefully.
Lin’s eyes went wide and he giggled running up to us, wrapping us both in hugs.
“Yes! I knew it!” he said cheering.
I couldn’t help but to laugh at the man.
“Yes, you did. And I thank you. But I have to go get dressed for practice.” Daveed said grinning at him.
Lin nodded enthusiastically.
“Right! Oh! Kaley! Good news! Come here!” Lin said grabbing my hand.
I tried to snuggle closer to Daveed.
“I don’t wanna!” I whined petulantly.
Daveed laughed softly and leaned down kissing my lips softly.
“I’ll be right here when you get back. Well not here, but my dressing room.” He said softly reassuringly.
I sighed softly and nodded.
“Oh alright.” I said softly pulling myself out of Daveed’s warm hold slowly.
As soon as I was clear of Daveed’s hold Lin took off down the hall quickly.
“Lin! I can’t keep up with your coffee fueled steps!” I shouted almost running after him.
I heard Daveed's laugh echoing off the halls and sighed softly. Lin slowed as we reach a split in the hallway, stopping completely.
“Ok, ok. Trust me!” he said putting his hands over my eyes.
I sighed and walked forward when he nudged me.
“I trust you, but Lin, I swear I will beat you if I fall down stairs!” I exclaimed softly.
Lin laughed and I felt him shake his head.
“No steps don’t worry, we’re almost there.” Lin said and I heard the smile.
We walked for another minute or so.
“Ok, stop!” Lin called turning me slightly.
I smiled softly at his obvious excitement.
“Close your eyes!” He said and I felt him bounce slightly.
I laughed and shut my eyes.
“They’re closed.” I assured.
I felt him move and I assume he stopped in front of me making sure my eyes were closed. I felt him shuffle me a bit and laughed as he did.
“Hmm ok. Ok! Open your eyes!” He said and I heard the physical restraint in his voice.
I laughed as I opened my eyes only to stop short.
“Lin? What the hell?” I asked softly, my eyes wide.
Lin laughed and reached over twisting the knob.
“You were still our best audition. So, welcome to the crew if you still want it. Please tell me you still want it?” Lin said smiling a bit nervously.
I laughed and started jumping around in place.
“If I want it? OF COURSE, I want it! Ahh thank you Lin!” I exclaimed hugging him quickly.
He laughed and hugged me back, we pulled apart and I walked into the room behind the door that held my name. Looking around the dressing room.
“it’s just the first act who’s rehearsing today, second act is tomorrow. So, you can go and head back to Daveed I just wanted to show you.” Lin said as he leaned against the doorway.
I giggled and spun around the room.
“Lin, seriously thank you.” I said turning back to him with a smile.
He laughed and shook his head.
“You earned it!” He said smiling.
After that he gave me the room key and I head back towards Daveeds dressing room a smile on my face. I knocked lightly on the closed door hearing a few voices from Inside before the door swung open.
“There you are, thought you got lost for a minute.” Daveed said smiling at me.
I blinked quickly and shook my head.
“No, thankfully I didn’t haha.” I said as he let me in.
I smiled up at him and he leaned down kissing me softly.
“AWWW!” shouted both Anthony and Oak as they saw it.
Daveed turned but I saw he couldn't get the smile off his face.
“Oh, shut up! So, what did Lin want?” He asked turning back to me.
I pulled out my key and held it up to him.
“He didn’t tell you?” Anthony called at the same moment.
I rolled my eyes when Daveeds widened seeing the key. He grabbed me up in a hug and swung me around, I giggled wrapping my arms around him.
“I knew you could do it.” He said softly, as our foreheads pressed together.
I smiled softly.
“Well that makes one of us.” I whispered and he pressed a kiss to my lips again.
Which of course caused the other two to call out again. Daveed sat me on my feet and brushed my hair behind me ear with a soft smile.
“Why don’t you two go finish getting ready.” Daveed suggested softly.
“Yeah, we’ll see you out there. Just don’t get distracted.” Oak said slipping out the door quickly, Anthony right behind him.
I giggled a bit.
“You’re happy.” He said turning to me as he finished fixing his neck poof thing.
I nodded.
“I am, I’m glad I got this.” I said sitting on the couch.
Daveed smiled and turned back to the mirror making sure his outfit looked good. A few minutes later I sat up ramrod straight and groaned.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed.
Daveed whipped around looking for a problem, and I laughed softly at his face.
“What happened?” He asked eyes wide.
I smiled softly before it faded and I leaned back.
“Nothing, technically is wrong. I just fucking realized the downside to this.” I sighed softly.
Daveed shrugged into his jacket as he walked over to sit beside me.
“And what’s that?” he asked taking my hand in his.
I sighed softly smiling at the small action.
“Well the role I got was Maria, right?” I started softly.
Daveed nodded staying silent and letting me continue.
“Lin is basically my brother.” I said sounding grossed out.
Daveed laughed a bit and kissed me gently.
“Ok, so what’s the problem?” he asked smiling.
I smiled and shook my head.
“It means that I have to both kiss and basically give a lap dance on stage to my brother.” I said pulling a face.
Daveed also pulled a face.
“That’s gross, my only suggestion is, get into the character?” Daveed suggested lightly.
I laughed and nodded wrapping my arms up around his neck carefully not to disturb the poof his hair had been pulled back into. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, his hands instantly finding my hips before sliding back around my back. I sighed softly into the kiss only to groan a few seconds later when the door opened.
“Oh! I…uhm…I’m sorry! But it’s just about time to head up.” Leslie said turning quickly so his back was to the room.
I laughed as Daveed and I pulled away from each other. He stood up and took my hand, pulling me up. We walked over to Leslie and Daveed tapped his shoulder.
“Let’s go.” Daveed said and I giggled lightly as he pulled out the Lafayette voice.
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punchesco · 4 years
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Ultimate Aqua Teen Hunger Force Body Horror Masterlist
ATHF was on just before the age of streaming, so a lot of my memories of the show are fragmented half-truths from bleary-eyed 3 AM viewing sessions. Upon a disorganized loose rewatch of the series I’ve discovered that is just as bizarre and disturbing as my sleep-deprived memories recalled, so I’ve made a fun little list of all the most disgusting and vile things this beloved cratoon enticed me to suffer through. 
TONIGHT!
Fry Legs
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In an attempt to woo a computer repair technician he’s stalking, Frylock liquefies her boyfriend in public. He then poorly reassembles his corpse and tapes his brain into the shambling monstrosity, assuming his identity in order to marry the technician. As he’s proposing, his legs snap off like dry twigs and Cary Mean’s howl of pain is genuinely upsetting, as is the bluebird picking at his exposed brain, and the chilling implication at the end that Frylock is now permanently trapped in this decaying body. Great work all around. Also, the technician lady is revealed to be a C.H.U.D. who has sex with animals.
Hypno-Germ
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Shake sits on a gas station toilet seat in New Joisey and is infected with the eponymous Hypnogerms. To be fair, this is more psychological than body horror, with Shake’s life slowly being overtaken by a persistent fantasy world primarily populated with talking file cabinets who slip him psychic commands to do things like “lock yourself in a cold, dark room”, “smear yourself with garbage and try to cross the freeway” and “eat your own dung”. Also, at the end of the episode Shake farts via his eyes. 
Antenna
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ATHF predicts 5G: The Episode. Aliens install a massive satellite tower above Carl’s house. It replaces any TV or phone signals with a monotonous video of two aliens passing a cardboard box back and forth, which also causes torrential nosebleeds and swelling of the cranium/eyes. Special Guest Star Voice Over Artist George Lowe.
She Creature
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Carl’s pool has turned stagnant with neglect, breeding hundreds of mosquitoes as well as some huge, unidentifiable creature. Carl lets the mob use it to dispose of bodies to help alleviate his debt with them, but ultimately the Aqua Teens “help” him chlorinate his pool and install a filter. The creature is revealed to be a beautiful mermaid, who offers to give Carl an “indescribable pleasure” for 30 bucks, 50 if the Aqua Teens watch. After she swims into his penis, Carl then explodes in a torrent of eggs, as does Frylock, Meatwad, but not Shake. Not even the sea monster wanted to fuck Shake.
Piranha Germs 
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This one is pretty repulsive, even for me. Shake gets a job as a “viral marketer” from a floating severed head, who assigns him tasks such as eating raw ground beef with a fork from off the ground, or dipping his hands in unpasteurized milk and squeezing raw chicken before walking around a conference hall shaking hands/giving high fives with as many people as possible. Shake eventually contracts a disease that literally devours him at the cellular level, slowly disintegrating his body. The head takes Shake to the company health care provider (another floating head) who has Shake inject himself with more of the virus. Eventually Frylock takes action, hooking Shake up to a machine that “boils and bleaches the blood”, an agonizing process that lasts at least 3 days straight. That over with, Frylock tells a bloated Shake that his blood has been replaced with a highly explosive substance and promptly freezes him. A really unpleasant experience to watch overall, which makes for an excellent ATHF episode. It’s marred somewhat by the fact that its ending is essentially just a less-funny rehash of the next featured episode, and one of ATHF’s best...
The Clowning
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I feel like the image above should be all you need to know about The Clowning. Carl gets a wig infected by an alien clown disease. ATHF’s writers seem to have something of a predilection towards horrible viruses, and I gotta say that Carl-centric episodes are always my favourite. He’s just such a delightfully crass and obnoxious character, the writers and animators seem to find such joy in coming up with these nightmarish fates for him. Anyway with Carl fully clownified, Frylock freezes him in the hopes of someday developing a cure. Cut to many years later with the Aqua Teens elderly and senile in a zombie apocalypse, with Clown Carl still frozen, used as a coat rack. Then he falls over and shatters.
Total Re-Carl
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And here we are at the logical conclusion of this exercise, the single best episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force ever made, the one that scarred me as a teen, and the one that inspired this list in the first place.
I really love that Carl begins the episode trying to avoid talking to Frylock, to the point where he turns his lights off and hides behind the couch muttering “Go away, dammit. Just go away.” It’s like he knows what’s coming for him. He just wants to sit around drinking beer and watching porno, but these horrible talking foodmin keep ruining his life. He’s trying so desperately to have some peace, which makes what happens to him in this episode that much more horrifying and hilarious. 
Frylock breaks into Carl’s house and talks him into coming out to try his new jet engine powered vacuum toilet (that, of course, is sitting on Carl’s lawn in plain sight, although Frylock assures Carl he has built a state-of-the-art invisibility curtain for privacy (a Lie)), and provides him with a care package of fiber tablets, espresso beans, and other laxatives. 
After surreptitiously locking Carl out of his house, Frylock and Meatwad watch from a distance as Carl is forced to try out the new toilet and is immediately and violently sucked into the toilet bowl, his body ejected out the back as a red mist, only his head left unmulched. Frylock hooks up Carl’s head to his computer to keep him alive and to translate his brain output to text, and the little flash of dialogue we see on the screen makes me laugh every time:
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The Aqua Teens then fail several times to find a replacement for Carl’s body. The first is the corpse of an elderly black man whose body immediately “rejects the head transplant” and begins savagely attempting to rip Carl off his shoulders. 
The next try is easily the worst mental image I have ever experienced on syndicated television, and while I love this episode I’m thankful for the simple artstyle and the relative restraint they showed compared to later as far as gore goes. 
Frylock tells Shake to order some body parts from online, but Shake buys from “we-got-us-some-medical-waste.com” and receives a soggy cardboard box filled entirely with loose eyeballs. Carl wakes to find his head attached a Heaping Golem of Eyes, which honestly sounds like a Bloodborne enemy 12 years ahead of its time. At Frylock’s behest, he takes a step forward to try out his new “legs” and Dave Willis’s voice acting for this scene still scares the shit out of me, if I’m being honest. Those screams are every bit as excruciating as I would expect for someone whose feet are made from dozens of lidless corneas. 
The third and final replacement is a gleaming exoskeleton of weaponized powerarmour, which they quickly realize is a terrible idea seeing as how he just tried to murder Frylock with this eye arms. They end up putting his severed head on a RC car while Meatwad obliterates Shake with the exoskeleton.
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Thanks for reading!
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