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#Elf rants
elflikesfrogs · 23 days
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irks me when people say daredevil is the batman of marvel because there's one fundamental difference between them, and it's that daredevil is dirt poor and batman is a billionaire. their wealth gaps are absolutely integral to each of their characters. daredevil would not be who he is if he was a rich man and i will die on this hill
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Finally watched Sonic The Hedgehog...
Really a cute movie, tbh, love found family stories. But all I gotta say is:
Dr. Robotnik, it's no wonder he's insane, with 5 Ph.D.s... Nobody needs five doctorate degrees. Two would be excessive. Five's an entire career, between 15 and 25 years of graduate school, and once you have one you could just do all the research you want and teach yourself. Hell, even just take the extra graduate courses if you're interested. Or you could have just done one in a multi-disciplinary field.
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drunk-elf · 1 month
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Finally drinking the Mead I've had for a few days sitting untouched
Waited for a chance to have it but been so active that I came home too exhausted and fell asleep before I could
I seriously need a break from socializing
I'm actually so annoyed with this friend for being pushy about hanging out everytime I'm not at work that I'm drinking it now when I have work tomorrow
I'll be fine, it's a buzz and the can is almost empty so I won't wake up with a hangover but Jesus Christ
I wanted this to be a treat not a thing to take the edge off..
Fuck
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cursed-critters · 3 months
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I adore Gale’s epilogue kiss
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anghraine · 10 months
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It's always weird when (some) people talk about the choice of the half-Elven as if they evolve like Pokémon upon choosing their ultimate fates.
Elros didn't become exclusively human. He chose to retain the gift of Men and to be counted among Men as far as that ultimate fate went, but he remained a half-Elf. He didn't gain a beard (even descendants as remote as Aragorn, Boromir, and Faramir can't because of Elros) or most Mannish qualities he didn't already possess and he lived half a millennium.
Elrond chose to be counted among Elves in terms of immortality, but he isn't exclusively an Elf. He's described as both Elf and Man, and as the eldest of Aragorn's people. Elrond's marriage to a full Elf produces peredhel children. Two of them are given names signifying Elf+(human)Man, names which Tolkien translated as "Elf-knight" (in Númen��rean Sindarin) and "Elf-Númenórean." Elrond's sons are always distinguished from Elves in LOTR.
Arwen doesn't morph into a human woman when she swears her vows with Aragorn; she still looks like f!Elrond and ageless years afterwards, and she would be very long-lived even if you only counted her married life. She is probably the most emphatically Elvish of any peredhel, but she's still a peredhel. Elwing and Eärendil are, too. Peredhil are peredhil are peredhil.
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running-with-kn1ves · 3 months
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Hi lovely, to celebrate the new year! I was wondering if you could please do a fluff/smut with Cirden.
Does not have to be hardcore smut only a taste!! thank you so much 4 taking the time out of your day and writing we all appreciate your work.
A/N: took it in me to get this done before January ended!! putting this man in the spicy is so bittersweet b/c it feels so wrong (but so right). And thank you for your kindness!! Lord knows I've been needing some grace. Thank you for being so sweet I'm glad people actually see my stuff <33
CW: NSFW/SMUT, public(?) doing the dirty in the woods, hunting, elf X reader, established marriage
WC:2.8k
Gender Neutral Reader X Male Elf husband
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"Raagghh. I haven't caught ANYTHING..." One of your arrows lands in the dirt, it's blade skinning against the ground before it fell flat. You couldn't even manage to stab a lizard that blundered past you, it's skittering body running as your arrow slumped.
"Don't get discouraged," Cirdan mumbled with unmoving lips, focused on the prey only a few meters in front of him. "It's only your first time with a bow and arrow."
He still managed to whisk away your heart in his crouched battle stance as you curled on the forest floor, his arrow flying as it released with a snap. The harsh squeak of a cottontail broke the silence of the ancient trees, a fatal jump being it's last movement before it succumbed to the ground in a helpless flop. Your husband moved forward without you to slice it's throat. You looked away in shame; he had been hunting for your dinners ever since your joint movement into the cottage currently a mile away; he had cut the heads off deer and ducks while you sat back and covered your eyes. You couldn't even shoot down a bird, not only from your poor aim but your heart lurched everytime you saw its feathered breast beat with life, its beak release a hymn of song. Every now and again you could garner the courage to help him defeather or clean the bones of his latest catch but when seeing their heads or lifeless eyes, it made your insides churn.
It was dispiriting, knowing you couldn't provide in the way he had learned to do since he was a child. But by Gods and Goddesses, did he not look fine holding that bow and pulling back its string, showing the strength in his chest and the unwavering focus in his grey-blue eyes. You memorialized the image in your head, toes scrunching deep in your sewn leather boots (created by cirdan and his many talents) with your knees pushed together, gaze focused on the ground.
"Whats wrong?"
You looked up from your place in the dirt and dead leaves, your spouse like a pretty ice mountain that you had to strain upwards to see. He placed three dead bunnies by their ears into the sack that was once on his back; if he were alone, he would've just carried them by hand back to the cottage.
"Nothing, I was just... thinking. It's beautiful out here."
You looked up at the canopy of trees, dappled light speckling between the small empty holes that neither branch nor bushy leaves covered to block the evening sun.
Cirdan bent down, placing his sack on the ground as a warm hand came to cover the top of your head. A calloused palm pushed your hair back, patting you with deadweight.
You couldn't see the rest of him with his gigantic arm in the way, his voice like an omniscient invisible God of the forest. 
"Don't worry if you can't hunt...I'll do enough for the both of us," His palm slid to your cheek in a messy fashion, attempting to be heedful of how firm his touch was, too used to handling his bow with untamed strength for the day. His hand was a pillow on your cheek as he pressed his thumb against your temple. "It's my job to take care of you."
He spoke as if mostly to himself, thin silver lashes disguising his eyes while he watches your lips with a small, almost unnoticeable quiver. But he didn't waver as you stared back, gaze running from his deep pupils to his strong nose bridge, down to his dripping jugular.
It was tension inside you and it was unbearable. It took choking yourself back to not scream "just kiss me, dammit!"
But elves weren't the hasty type,(especially your aloof husband), and you didn't know what Cirdan would think if you came forward so hungrily. Would he think you were just some lust-crazed old bat that replaced the careful spouse he once knew?
"Come, let's go back; the wind is picking up. I won't let you catch a cold."
The forest was all but blowing, a leaf tumbling every now and again but practically silent. And yet, who were you to argue with the seasoned elf who had survived in forests like this?
You took the outstretched hand cirdan put in front of you, allowing him to practically lift you to your feet as your bow held limply in your other hand with defeat. Alas, another day with no progress in conquering your woodland fear.
You let Cirdan lead you, following him past old oaks and emptied burrows, unable to keep your wide eyes off of him. It was nice, to distract your disappointed mind from your empty game sack to the hauntingly beautiful portrait of the manly elf before you.
"What is it?" Cirdan stopped, looking at you with those long locks covering his scarred eye, the other staring with a darkened brow.
"Nothing!" You'd repeat, looking away with your antsy feet bouncing, hoping he'd somehow read the growing need inside of you. And this carried on a countless too many times before you saw the clearing that led to the desire path back home.
What were you to say? That you wanted him here and now? That you wished he'd just smile and hold you and tell you to take off your hunting clothes and everything underneath as soon as you got back home? Yeah, right. As if the stoic beast that you married would be so forward, as hopeful and desiring as you.
You sneaked glances, learning better than before when aiming to witness the veins in his forearm that traveled to the hand interlocked with yours, the pants that fit his slightly toned ass just right. Gods, were you really so sinful? But, was it so wrong to want your husband, to think of him panting above you and his beautiful thighs encasing you with heartache and hunger?
Cirdan stopped again. You were about to tell him now this time you really weren't looking but he didn't face you, instead dropping his bag along with an unused set of arrows accompanying his bow.
"I think... I understand."
You tilted your head at him, maybe at a poor attempt to get him to look at your cute side.
"I'm supposed to do more than...be a a simple protector."
You would've pressed for more information, if it weren't for the oddly timed shove towards a nearby tree. Cirdan took the bag from your hands faster than you could ask "what the hell are ya doing," his sharp face only mere inches away and angled as if he was about to kiss you.
But maybe, that was just your imagination, your mind centered only on his smoothened pinkish lips.
"Is this what you wanted...?"
The elf brute inched down, nudging your nose with a deep exhale. His hands engulfed yours, holding them down at your sides as he pressed his lips snuggly to your cupids bow.
The sheer power of his face pushed your skull against the tree; along with it a warm, humid hand came from behind to press along the curve of your back. His pointer finger inched, massaging into your tailbone as the elf's thigh quickly entrapped you between he and the old oak.
That hand moved down to the waist of your hunting trousers, digging beneath them to reach more savory skin.
You almost jumped at the slight clutch of your left ass cheek, your husbands eyes shut as he rubbed his forehead against you.
Lost words were grumbled under his breath with a gentle rasp, his other hand leaving your fingers as they braced against the bark of the tree behind you.
"Cirdan-- wha," you tried to figure out what you were feeling, what the right thing to do would be. Which was, to tell him that this was not the right place, nor the right time. But that gentle nudge of his tented crotch against your leg made any thoughts of lucidity drift.
"Want you..." He spoke, barely above a hum. "Isn't this, what you needed? Looking at me, at my..."
"Don't finish that sentence," you warned, unable to meet his gaze as he softly squinted open his eyes. "Maybe so but--! Right here?? Right now? In the woods?! Even I'm not desperate enough to make us do it...here."
"No creatures come to the edge of the woods... too smart for that. We're too far away for any hunters to venture close enough." You could see even he wasn't one to normally suggest this idea; but if anyone knew this forest, it was him. "Besides, said I want to take care of you.. did you not think I'd follow through on that..?"
"But, wait, I mean-" you nearly whined, hardly able to contain yourself with the hand massaging your backside, the fat of his buldge grinding into your quadricep. He was almost as bad as the rabbits he so skillfully caught, their known libidinous currently rivaling his own.
It was still atleast a 15 minute walk back to the cottage when following the path directly back. Could you make it that long? If not, could you bare the anxiety of having him bend you over in the woods completely out in the open?
"I didn't know you were so... pent up." You choked. "I mean, you're not just doing this for me, right?"
Who were you kidding? He was practically rubbing on you like a fox in heat.
"Please don't make me beg." He looked at you directly, finding your lost-at-sea eyes that had been rapidly searching for any creature or holy figure nearby witnessing you and your husbands' immoralities. He wasn't whining nor desperate but rather asking you, to please, not make him put himself even lower at your mercy-- if that was even possible.
His directness caught you off guard; sure, you had been on the edge of ripping your clothes off and throwing yourself at him but-- to have him beat you to the punch?
You couldn't help yourself when he leaned in, his soft locks brushing against your shoulder as the tip of his pink tongue swiped your lower lip, his confidence having grown since the first time you made love to him in the dark.
You opened your mouth greedily, nearly starvingly so as you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. How could you say no, when he asked you so genuinely, when your groin ached to be caressed by him?
With the confession of your open mouth and the lewd noises of your labored breaths, Cirdan moved quicker than with the normal diligent pace he tended to do everything with. In a split second your leg was wrapped around his hip, his large hand rubbing gently at the front zipper of your trousers, reaching in deep between your legs to get a good cup full o' you. 
You couldn't just ignore the cries of his loins as he lunged forward, desperate for your affection. You undid the two buttons holding the elf's own wood-colored slacks up. They drooped only slightly to show the clean grey of his happy trail, your palm digging in to reach for the stiff piece that craved a special touch.
It slid out so easily, his tip warm against your wrist. You couldn't help but watch him leak just a bit, slightly hard as a thin vein pulsed under your thumb.
"Gods please...I said t'not make me beg." He muffled in your ear, taken aback uncharacteristically as you stroked with the intent to milk him for all he had.
It was so cute and fat, the small grey-white hairs of the front of his cock leading down to his crowned jewels, making you appreciate the differences between humans and elves. His pointed ears twitched upward as he practically foamed at the mouth against your neck. A gentle palm came to push your shoulder against the tree with simplicity.
Without unzipping, cirdan shifted to pull your pants and undergarments down to your knees; in a matter of two seconds he managed to strip you half naked. Your hand was pulled away from the elf, interlocked instead with his fingers as your bare thigh was hoisted further up against his naked hip.
His chest pressed up against you as he slowed to get inside, looking at you with glazed over, hooded eyes. He didn't look away, he couldn't. There was something about the sweat at the corner of your brow, your slightly ajar lips that kept him going, entering inside of you with raw cock and raw determination, awaiting to see that expression of nearful ecstasy that would wash away all the neediness you had been experiencing.
You didn't know how he could do it, stare at you so intently without any break away while you sweated under his gaze. If he wasn't currently bottoming out inside of you right now, you would've felt like you were under interrogation. You both huffed simultaneously once your hole swallowed up the entirety of him, your right leg limp over his thigh as he pressed you up further against the tree.
"Feel okay?" Cirdan panted, and you could see he was barely keeping himself at bay. What a gentleman, controlling himself from fucking you blind-- not that you would've minded the latter, of course.
You responded in turn by grinding down on him, rolling your hips forward to have that needy, hungry and achingly thirsty spot become just a little farther quenched.
It was difficult to not throw your head back and scream, feeling so warm and full as you gripped the back strands of the elfs hair.
With the time you had spent with him you realized Cirdan wasn't much of a grunter, preferring unconsciously to huff and pant and wordlessly suck through his teeth when he was inside of you. If you were lucky, you'd get to see him furrow his brows in exasperation, frowning as if he was concentrating hard on something important and not just from rocking into you. The challenging part about being his first lover however, was that he was still learning not to finish in the first few seconds of plunging inside.
"Ill.. n'take care of yo..u" he muttered, lifting your hips as your bare ass scraped against the bark of the tree. "Take care so good..."
You would've laughed at his drunken fervor if you didn't find it so endearing, the urge to stick your tongue into his heated cavern of a mouth washing over you like a wave.
Cirdan accepted the kiss greatfully, placing a hand behind your head to grace your thump against the tree. You could hear the branches shake, a stray dead leaf falling on the top of your head as he rutted forward, your own pelvic floor pushing against his thrusts. The elf's nose smushed against the side of your own, lips practically consuming one another as his lashes brushed your cheek. Sweat formed on your back dripping to your legs, but you didn't care. It felt too good, your senses only focusing on where he was caressing or what would be next, the cold breeze reminding you that you were still outside.
That fear remained in the back of your mind, your eyes occasionally opening and scanning the forest that you could see beyond Cirdan. But there was nothing, nothing but the trees and dead fallen logs blocking pathways.
Your kisses drifted away as you saw a hunched over deer, somewhat 10 paces away with its head burrowed in a bush.
Cirdan slowed, the deep drilling inside of you now merely a thick discomfort of occasional thrusts. He could feel you were getting lost in your worry, your grip on his shoulders loosening.
"Ma’sal’shiral," he grabbed your chin, turning you away from the fear of the forest. "Going to make you feel love unlike any creature has known;" he kissed you with wet lips, giving you breath and teeth. "So please, don't turn from me."
The horrible ache in his eyes, the twitch inside of you-- for how torturous it was for yourself, it was just as bad for him. You would've apologized, turned the mood even further south into sourness if he hadn't begun rocking again, holding your back to keep your sensitive skin away from the tree. He huffed into your cheek, pressing hard up against you as he cherished everything he could touch. The deer that once took over your thoughts was now pushed to the edge, your eyes half-shut now that all you could feel was the depth of your husband, his precum mixing with the heat of your hole. The crude sound of skin on skin, the slight slap of elf balls hitting your ass-- it nearly sent your mind into overdrive.
And even with the pain of tree bark rubbing against your skin, the stench of petrichor and sweat in your nose, you wouldn't trade this moment for anything.
This might even be better than the bed... Okay, maybe not. But that didn't matter with Cirdan so far inside of you he huffed with inclination, tempting to keep his orgasm at bay.
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tornioduva · 3 months
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Nitpicky rant about Dungeon meshi e Frieren elves
lately i've been reading Dungeon meshi e Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, and i've noticed a recurring detail, that will now bother me till the end of my existance:
Elf ears. Ears in general to be honest, but in elves is particularly visible.
They all share the mickey mouse ears syndrome, where they can only be seen by profile, only facing their insides, no matter the head's rotation aside from when you're behind them.
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It's like these authors can't decide whether the ears are protruding or attached to the sides of the head. it's driving me crazy, because it keeps shifting the design i form in my head of the characters.
Like, i'm no expert in anatomy, let alone ears (they are the bane of my existance when drawing them) but i'm pretty sure Frieren ears should look something like this when you look at her by profile:
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As i said, i'm no expert, feel free to correct me if i'm wrong, i'll accept the L.
Now, i've seen that, at least in Dungeon meshi, they are able to freely move their ears, so the quick explanation could be "ears too hard to draw in that view, elves just move them and sometimes protrude, sometimes they do not" and i can kind of live with that, but it's too consistent as a thing to believe uhuh.
Anyway, this does not influence my experience with these stories, my opinions on them lie elsewhere; just an odd detail i noticed (that carried in their animated adaptations strangely enough) that now you too can't unsee! you're welcome.
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elflikesfrogs · 5 hours
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I think it's healthy to overshare on the Internet like this:
I don't think giraffes are real
I wear socks in the shower
I would do surgery recreationally because anesthesia smells good
I'm in a parasocial relationship with guy from anime
And not healthy to overshare on the Internet like this:
I am 12 years old
My parents hate me and are so strict
I'm home alone for the weekend/I'm on vacation in x city
This is my birthdate and my mother's maiden name and the name of my first pet
and I think it's only if you maintain that certain level of anonymity that you're able to authentically but safely interact with strangers on the internet
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bluerose5 · 1 month
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Just a thought but if Zevran, Astarion, and Fenris ever share a space, even if only to hang out in each other's tents, Zevran is going to take one look in Astarion's and Fenris’s and go, "haha, how cute, but seriously you two, where do you sleep?"
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dxiifut · 1 month
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My ED and SH
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and I'm crying again when will the mental screaming stop? I'm so fucking tired
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iwannafeelmybones · 3 months
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I wanna be thin enough for people to be worried, but I don't want anyone to get involved.
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cursed-critters · 3 months
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Wyll’s kiss screams theatre kid, but I’m here for it
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imminent-danger-came · 6 months
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"TDP s4 was really good" truthers let us come together and join hands
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clara-licht · 4 months
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I am: sobbing
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WHY DOES DARK ELF ALBERU LOOKS LIKE A NORMAL ASIAN PERSON 😭😭 THAT'S NOT DARK ELF THAT'S BARELY EVEN TANNED WTFFFF
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