#HAS ANYONE EVER EXPERIENCED THIS EVER

[spaciebabie]

the thought of making you scream is enough motivation for me to draw

#spacie splains #JESUS #JESUS CHRIST #HEAD IN HANDS HEAD IN HANDS #IM GONNA BE SICK #OUOUOUGH IM SO FLUSTERED MY HEAD HURTS #HAS ANYONE EVER EXPERIENCED THIS EVER #HAS ANYONE??? DONT ANSWER THAT #THIS IS SOOOO FUCKING FUCKED UP THIS IS REALLY REALLY FUCKED UPO

[crybaby-bkg]

Trainer Bakugou who you're a little terrified of the first day you're paired with him. when asking for a trainer at the gym, you had expected the friendly redhead who always looked so sweet and encouraging and cut as hell. you weren't expecting his grumpy looking blond counterpart, who was all glares and shouts for his clients to keep pushing themselves.

you were hesitant at first, before you quickly realized that it was all a ruse, for the most part. he pushed those who needed that extra encouragement, but was more lenient to people like you who simply wanted a professionals guidance. so, after a few weeks, you liked him for the most part, and his looks damn sure made it easier to cozy up to the big guy.

the only issue you've been having with Bakugou though are the...coregasms, as you've seen them been named on social media, that you keep experiencing. the first time, you weren't sure what it was, why your stomach and pelvis kept tightening up. you couldn't have...climaxed, or anything. you hadn't even been touched!

but, as the weeks go by, and the workouts get more strenuous, they've become harder and harder to subside and ignore, and so had Bakugou's commands to keep going when you suddenly stopped. you can only lie and say its cramps so many times before he realizes that something is up.

you're midway through a good morning, when that familiar feeling starts tightening in the pit of your gut. you clench your eyes shut, shaking your head a little, as if you could ward off the impending feeling. bakugou notices though, frowning at your almost pained expression in the mirror, walking up behind you to stop you as you pull yourself back up. his hands are on your waist, and as you come up, you feel his bulge glide over the curve of your ass, and something in you snaps.

you gasp, buckling over, one hand on your knee as the other reaches back for bakugou's hand to keep you up as your thighs shake. you can feel yourself spasming, clenching and unclenching around nothing, secretly wishing you had something that could fill you up, something that you felt throb against you as bakugou leaned over your form.

"Another coregasm, huh?" he asks you lowly, his lips brushing your ear as you bite your bottom lip to hold back your moan. your eyes buck open though, when his words sink in, head tipping back to look at him in the mirror, only to find his gaze already on you.

"You knew every time?" you ask quietly, panting now that its finally starting to pass over you. but bakugou doesn't let you up from this position, especially since the area you're in seems to be desolate for now.

"It's hard to ignore how pretty you look when you cum, sweetheart." Bakugou seals his words with a firm press to your ass, his cock rubbing the seam, and you can practically feel the heat and veins of it through your thin bottoms. you groan under your breath, getting lost in the feeling of him grinding against you, when he suddenly speaks again.

"You still feel it?" he asks, voice low as he looks at you through his lashes. you nod, biting at your bottom lip as you meet the steady rock of his hips, watching how he smiles before slotting his lips against your ear.

"Want me to help make it go away?" and he does, in the employee locker room after hours. he makes it go away, and rebuild, and go away again and again until you're hoarse and your legs are weaker than they typically are on leg day. bakugou helps the ache go away, but not for that sweet redheaded coworker of his, whose fists have fucked his cock the entire time of watching bakugou rail you over the locker room bench again and again.

#remember when I said in my lion bkg tags that I would write that long fic #sorry but I lied 😔 #idk its been so hard to write long fics for me lately!! #I thought it would be better since the brunt of everything in my life has passed #but the creative energy isn't all the way there yet #so I won't rush the process of it!!! when I let it come to me I typically bang out like #3-5 fics in two weeks lol so im waiting for that feeling #but anyway!!! I love trainer character aus they're so seggsy #also I had to throw in eiji sorry what else could I have done #NOT put him in this somehow???? I don't think so #okay bye im gonna write another Drabble ive had in my drafts for a few weeks now LOL #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #bakugou treats! 🍬 #also has anyone ever actually experienced a coregasm before??? I saw it on insta and was amazed LOL #I need to start working on my core more to get one lol if im LUCKY

[mobius-m-mobius]

Most purpose is more burden than glory. And trust me, you never wanna be the guy who avoids it ’cause you can’t live with the burden.

LOKI APPRECIATION WEEK 2023 | for @dailyloki Day 6 : Favorite Quote

#mobius #loki #lokius #lokiweek2023 #mcuedit #lokiedit #marveledit #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #dailyloki #a hundred of his to choose from most of which i've happily giffed before but in all honestly this one's it for me #my good friend scar tissue the delivery of which has haunted my every waking moment for over a month now 😔 #his story was the most heartbreaking realization of how alone he's been at the tva... who knows if anyone had ever paused before then #and because of it he's been made to carry so much resignation and sadness simply by remembering a little bit of who he was #and wants to be! his eyes were so weary during the time theater remix it was like looking at a completely different character 😭😭 #never stop being surprised by owen's talent but god this scene will stay with me forever it's a level i've not experienced before #marvel #owenwilsonedit #dianagifs

[tswwwit]

just reread whump au for the nth time now, and it suddenly occurred to me what in god's name would've happened if dipper just straight up kicked the bucket right after saying, "i love you."

i can't imagine bill's reaction would've been a good one. i'm getting chills just trying to picture it, honestly.

in fact, just the image of dipper dying in general, and seeing the aftermath of that from bill's pov, has my whole body breaking out into goosebumps.

awesome.

also, let's just assume that bill hasn't yet figured out the whole reincarnation thing in this scenario aha

(i just really like angst okay? lmao)

Oh man, Bill? Oh Bill. Bill.

He would be very, very upset.

Also this is a good opportunity for the ol' classic:

#answers #There's probably a short time where he's too stunned to have a response #Which is *very* rare for Bill; he's old as hell - literally! - and seen and done pretty much everything #This of course can't last long. Bill is a being of *action*. And rage. #Bill is not taking this lying down #He's not taking this AT ALL what BULLSHIT is THIS #He didn't even get a DECADE with this mortal and what he's just GONE??? BULLSHIT #NO CHANCE NOT HAPPENING NOPE NOPE NO FUCK THAT #If the multiverse thought Bill during their 'break' was bad this is going to be orders of magnitude worse #He's experienced something he never thought he'd ever feel and never *ever* thought would be felt for him in turn #It was strange and disgustingly domestic. Grossly wibbly soft and chokingly *Sweet* with this lovely rivalry ganache #Something he won't - can't - continue on throughout the ages without. Not after he knows what it's *like* #Nothing's gonna match *that* again. Barely a decade damn it and it just. Just went. *poof*. #And FUCK THAT #The soul has to be somewhere. Lots of people can build a body. There's solutions #And if anyone or anyTHING stands in his way he's going to get rid of it without even stopping to monologue or gloat #Bill's got a mission and no psychopomp or demon or god is going to stand in his way of reclaiming what's his #Even if he has to go on a full-on quest for it. Tearing a path through the multiverse #He is GOING to get him BACK #Dipper's Last Words are going to have a greater effect than he could have imagined #Because with those ringing in Bill's brain he's not going to ever *stop* #Narratively speaking it'd be the most Character Development for Bill to exhaust his violent means #And have to bargain with someone #(Probably the Axolotl) #The biggest challenge Bill has ever or will ever face: Going up to someone. Hat in hand. And saying *please*

[kenobihater]

23 is young and i don't wanna go acting like it isn't but sometimes i see stuff from baby zoomers and i feel fucking ancient. skibidi toilet? i have yet to understand what that's referencing. reality shifting? i was into new agey stuff as a teen and i get the whole law of attraction/manifestation thing, but the rest is all greek to me. a good half of the aesthetics i see talked about online? literally got overwhelmed when i stumbled on the aesthetics wiki last year and i feel like an idiot seeing all these kids list off like 4 different hyperspecific aesthetics to describe themselves 😭 girl what does any of that mean? patiently explain it like i'm 85 when it comes up, or don't expect me to know what the hell you're talking about. i'll just end up smiling and nodding like your out of touch grandpa who loves your energy but is frightened by cellphones and the concept of smartfridges 💀💀💀

#i genuinely am not dunking on any of this stuff (i have no idea what any of it is in detail lmao) and i think it's lame #as hell to dunk on young ppl stuff just bc it's enjoyed by young ppl. regardless i have no idea what's going on with the youth sometimes #and i don't think that's ever gonna change. i don't rlly care to devote a lot of time to stay Cool and Hip bc i'm NOT steve buscemi and i'm #okay with being viewed as uncool but it still surprises me the extent to which this is already happening to me and i'm not even 25 #back in MY day we had gangnam style & vine compliations & i was only mosscore with a hint of dark academia and that's how we LIKED it! /s #i honestly feel more in touch with millenials then i do anyone too young to remember the great recession or life before the omnipresence of #the internet. that's surely due in part to us being legal adults but also bc i think anyone who HASN'T experienced a childhood without #smartphone access or one free of years of economic struggle has a much different life experience than i do. i didn't get a phone til 12 and #i didn't get a smartphone til 14/15ish. i never complain abt gas prices like my parents do bc i grew up when it was $3-$5. i can't eat #canned peaches bc they remind me of '07-'11. this isnt to say i had it harder - i wasn't a kid during covid - but its slightly harder to #relate to #len speaks

[texeoghea]

i keep thinking abt akechis unaddressed undiagnosed osdd swag

#my art #doodles #persona 5 #p5 #it aint much but its honest work. #ill find more of them. ill sniff them out. no system character is safe from me #DROVE ME A LITTLE CRAZY BTW. THAT THEY WERE LIKE ‘WOW AKECHI HAS TWO PERSONAS? THATS WEIRD!’ AND THEN. #NEVER. ADDRESSED IT. EVER. AGAIN. #IT WAS KIND OF TREATED LIKE AN OFF SCREEN EVO IN ROYAL LIKE HE JUST HAD LOKI. NO MORE ROBIN. BOY WHAT HAPPENED TO ROBIN HOOD #the answer is that he died with the detective prince in the bottom of that ship. which also makes me feel insane #sorry the death of the self is so :exploding forever: #persona 5 is a game. you get to watch the protags rivals life be completely and fully ruined by the protag and then never do anything about #it. like damn akechi sorry about all that and also that you full on died to save us after it all and never recieved any thanks or acknowledg #ement whatsoever from anyone except maybe the protagonist. that was fucked up #LIKE HE ALSO WAS EVIL. HE KILLED TWO OF THE THIEVES’ PARENTS. BUT ALSO HE WAS EXPERIENCING EVERY NIGHTMARE EVER CAN WE GIVE HIM THAT ATLEAST #sorry my akechi rants. my disease

[katnissmellarkkk]

my aesthetics :

the second quarter quell generation, pt one (aka the generation with all the principal characters’ parents, and then also haymitch)

#thg #hunger games #haymitch abernathy #Katniss everdeen #Peeta mellark #maysilee donner #thgedit #okay so in order this goes #Haymitch Haymitch’s girl katniss’s parents Peeta’s parents and then the donner twins #i will make a part 2 with the characters if I can think of more than gales parents #if I can’t hazelle and her husband will be retroactively added into this one #myaesthetics #myedit #ya lit aesthetic #ya lit edit #and yeah this may be shameless promo one day for my lil 2nd quarter quell ficcy #which is why the little title for Mr E is confusing !!! because a lot of this is about my made up lore!!! his mom is Maude ivory but she #disappeared when he was a child #which is why Katniss knows nothing about her own gramma!!! #ok anyways if I ever write it all the little titles will make sense but for now they’re confusing because I made this specially for me for #my made up headcanons that make no sense to anyone else lololololol #oh oh oh also I put black eyes in both Katniss’ mom and Peeta’s mom’s edits for a reason!!! #ok so like I always interpreted it that abuse in the merchant class was more common #like what Peeta obviously went through at home was actually normalized in his circle #and it’s also implied Katniss’ mom was shunned by her parents for marrying Katniss’ dad so I figure they couldn’t have been good parents #and then Peeta’s mom Ruby also has blood on her own hands because we know she one day is abusive to her own kids so it’s like #she experienced abuse and then continues the terrible circle #but obviously Katniss’ mom lavender does not! she has other issues though but the young version is so fun to play with #also young Haymitch and his girl here would be the most judgey pretty couple #I have lots of headcanons for them some of which I’ve entwined already into at least one of my fics

[roboyomo]

I'm enabling you now go go go

UOU. SIGNAL UNDERSTOOD. Time for the big kenix and azrael rant under the cut!!!

So to start off, I'll briefly explain Azrael as a character since Kenix technically already had a brief character explanation

Azrael is also one of the "7 Deadly Sins" crew, just like Kenix, with his assigned sin being Envy.

For Azrael's case, Envy would be represented by his failures. Specifically failing his original protecting duties as a soldier in his past life, now envious of 'he' from his fantasies who has succeeded to protect others. The fact that he failed many times to live up to the version of him who has it all, driving him absolutely crazy. And as he does not have any idea how to deal with these feelings of anger and guilt, he only starts to blame everyone else around who had it better than him. Anyone who has managed to live up to their goals, being incredibly envious of them, to the point of purposefully ruining their lives. Ruining what they had so they could experience the same misery he felt this entire time, until it backfired and got him killed instead. (he is in misery but he doesn't want to be drowned in it alone, so he brings others down with him). He has failed himself by not meeting his own expectations, so the thought that there is a version of him out there that has succeeded to meet those same expectations and is now living better than before... makes him want to curse the entire world. Being extremely jealous of anyone who had the great success he wanted originally, now pouring out his misery as revenge on others, just to see them fall down the same way his entire world shattered in his eyes. The same misery now being turned into the poison inside his body, using it as a weapon against his enemy in the Afterlife. Now living as a cursed being that is forever bound to this insufferable nature, he tries to keep mostly to himself after becoming the 4th in line to join the sins crew. No roaming around the land with no end in sight, no contact, no relationships — only him and himself.

That is until Kenix himself has taken interest in Azrael. The interest was ever so the same as it was for the previous members of the crew. Attempting to get on semi-friendly terms with the others that are now just as miserable as him deep inside, since aggravating them would nothing good to both parties and he is aware of how fucked everything is for all of them combined, having the "false" feeling of empathy for them. But Azrael intrigued him the most because of how much he felt that their anguish was similar in a way. Both of their worlds were shattered and took it out on others because they didn't know how to deal with their problems in a healthy way, Azrael's case just got more extreme than Kenix's, who has only took it out on his surronding enviroment, which was very limited ever since he was young (and additionally taking it out on some of the Original timeline crew members/"The Warriors" after he was in the Afterlife). It was then when the suppressed desperation to feel something resurfaced. The wish to know what a connection between people is, the wish to have even someone by his side that would accept him as the awful person he is now. That desperation slipping through the the cracks of his facade of carelessness for others, having no feelings of remorse for his actions — he knows he can't go on for long without any sort of human interaction, that would only drive him more insane and worsen his state which would lead to his end sooner than expected. Not only is it because he knows that there is a higher risk chance if he will forever cut off everyone from his life, it is own wish to have someone finally accept him that has been born from the years of loneliness and isolation. He wants to, he 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 find some sort of companion for his own sake, something he never thought could happen because he truly believed that he would be better off without anyone. He doesn't think that he could ever become better, but the thought that someone, whose just as awful as he is, would accept him as this very same awful being, made him feel something that he has never experienced (Is it hope?? Is it the desperation for affection?? Not even Kenix knows that)

And that's when Azrael comes in. Nothing about Azrael said that the interest was mutual, but Kenix didn't stop attempting to engage in a first conversation with him. Azrael, due to his nature and the decision to distance himself from others, didn't feel like it. In fact, he also felt like Kenix shouldn't be trusted so there was this constant need to be cautious around him. Something about that attitude, that smile, the manner of speaking Kenix has,,, threw him off a few times to be honest. But when Azrael tried to confront Kenix head on about why the one kept trying to get closer to him, Kenix would only make up a shallow lie that Azrael's gradient hair looked interesting. He could 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 ever admit out loud that he desperately longed for someone who understood him, admitting to that would be a sign of showing weakness — and that is prohibited when Kenix's first desire was about being powerful and seem powerful. Additionally, it is not like he would ever take "my carefully built facade is slowly breaking day by day and my true feelings and desperate wishes for human companionship and physical affection have been shown to someone that I thought would finally be the one to help me get through this agony" well. he would probably spiral and worsen everything about his mental state and sanity even more and that means that he would meet his demise sooner. which is unwanted as he still wants to have a chance at life — not the best one, but a life at the very least.

It is where their relationships starts to build off from that point. Azrael slowly starts to show more trust towards Kenix and that made Kenix have this sense of hope, the hope that Azrael will become the one person Kenix wished to have by his side until the end of time. Kenix undeniably always has been fascinated by Azrael and with each interaction, the fascination for him grew only bigger. From Azrael acting annoyed at Kenix for being too bothersome to sincerely enjoying each other's company. Starting all those nice conversations between them about anything they share as interests until Azrael one day decided to hold Kenix's hand without realizing it himself. He pretty much realized it only by seeing Kenix's puzzled face. That is when he found out that Kenix has... almost no concept of what physical affection is shown through. No grasp on the idea of what hand holding is, or no idea about any other displays of affection. Finding out about just how isolated Kenix was that he has no idea about how it feels to be hugged or hug someone else was just shocking to him. Which made him start being curious about what various displays of affection Kenix has no idea about. and is it not surprising that he doesn't know about most of it. this man's past is probably the definition of loneliness and he never knew what it was like to be loved or show love to others so pretty obvious that this stuff will puzzle him as it is just this new thing for him even if he wished for it for a long time.

Azrael just holding his hand actually made Kenix crave that feeling more (because of incredibly touch starved this man is). It is "I never knew of this sensation but please stay with me like this for just a few more minutes I'll provide us with all the time in the world to allow us to just stay closer together for a longer while" kind of craving (at this point he is not able to hide just how badly he needed someone next to him at all times)

Now Azrael is just showing this guy with some serious unaddressed issues™ what it is like to be loved and Kenix tries to show love back with what is left of his heart. Usually successful but sometimes it is just gifting something made out of someone else. it is not fun to hear the screaming of thousands because you wear this ring he gifted you. They have still committed atrocities but now they are able to accidentally "fix" each other without realizing it

#kenix has so many issues that he hides behind a facade it is unreal #he wouldn't even know how to tell if he has romantic feelings for anyone he has never experienced any of this and is therefore #clueless. at least he got someone to help him now #i'd explain more about them but that is too much blocks of text in one post hopefully i can do a part 2 to this someday #anyways. please consider them i hold them very dear to my heart for over a year now #kenix MIGHT be experiencing something more than just fascination for azrael. just a thought though #kenix's heart doesn't have much capacity for love but he can do his best if he tries #his ability to love has been destroyed ever since childhood afterall. it will take a while to restore it back #azrael is patient enough to let kenix get more comfortable about sharing his past with him #yomo ocs?! #yomoart

[stellerssong]

ok sorry the OTHER thing about lucienne is like. as previously stated she is dream's handpicked emissary from the waking world to the dreaming she's the diplomat in chief she's the translator she's the bridge. because the dreaming is, in a very real way, dream's own psyche, this is tantamount to giving lucienne a tremendous degree of access to his interiority and by transitive property also tantamount to entering into a deeply emotionally intimate relationship with her (unimportant for the purposes of this post whether that relationship is platonic or romantic).

now, in general, looking at the pattern of dream's close emotional relationships—dream doesn't share himself with people as a rule (beyond the access that all things that live have to the dreaming; but i'm talking about his self here, the one he doesn't like to acknowledge he even has), but when he does share with people, it's with people who have some shadow on the soul, so to speak. just looking at attested relationships in show canon, his deepest emotional connection seems to be with death, who embodies the duality of light and dark even better than he does himself. calliope is the muse of epic poetry—heroism and tragedy—and also bears the sort of divine pride that led her to cut dream off for hundreds or thousands of years when he wronged her. the less said about that other guy, the better, but he's no sunshine-rainbows-unicorns type—he's a soldier of fortune, a bandit and a killer, a man who profits from the sale of human life. even best bird matthew, in comix canon, had a sordid past that will maybe be partially retconned for the show but has still been gestured at.

dream likes the complicated ones. he's drawn to them. they speak to something in him that he won't acknowledge in himself (he has to be Whole, fully integrated, without reservation, because he is the king and he is the dreaming and if the dreaming ain't whole then the universe is in trouble—but he feels that ache nonetheless).

all that is to say: when people try to portray lucienne as dream's Designated Well-Adjusted Neurotypical Friend, i begin to harm and maim.

#chatter #as usual there is a larger pattern of behavior around this post that has been making me crazy for some time #it's the ''holder of the braincell'' trope but it's also just like the flattening of female characters of color in every possible dimension #so many people are terrified. TERRIFIED. to imagine a woman of color's pain #because the demands of shallow progressivism are such that they require you to acknowledge that A Black Woman Has Suffered More #Than Anyone Else Ever In The History Of The World Ever; Because Of Racism #but the demands of wider fandom are such that they require you to buy into the concept that A White Man's Suffering #Is The Only Suffering Worthy Of Care Attention Or Interest. #can't handle the dichotomy so instead they create the imago of a Black woman who has never suffered anything ever #she cannot be mentally ill; she cannot be disabled; if she is queer then it is in a way that is wholly self-contained and complete #and not ambiguous or in flux in any way; and most important of ALL she can never have experienced racism. #because racism As We Know is the worst form of suffering. so if she'd suffered racism then that would make her more worthy of #compassion than White Guy No. 37. which must not be #the very idea that lucienne is simply at peace with herself and the dreaming with no further complication.......like! #WOMEN OF COLOR ARE NEVER AFFORDED THAT KIND OF CERTAINTY. ARE YOU STUPID. #and by the way being reserved/calm/unassuming/practical are NOT absolute indicators of mental wellness. #y'all can see this when it's a white guy what is your fucking DAMAGE when it comes to women of color. #OPEN YOUR EYES. USE YOUR POWERS OF DEDUCTIVE REASONING. DREAM DIDN'T CHOOSE HER TO BE HIS THERAPIST. #DREAM CHOSE HER BECAUSE; PRESUMABLY; SHE ACHES. SHE CONTRADICTS. SHE GRAPPLES WITH THE SHADOW ON THE MIND. #SOMETHING IN HIM SEES A KINDRED SOUL IN HER. WAKE UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

[bluegekk0]

Bit of a ramble about something that's been on a mind for a while, about HK and the AU. Not really a vent, but just wanted to talk about it. It's pretty long so I'll hide it.

My relationship with HK these days is a bit complicated, to be honest. I absolutely adore the game, I get this warm feeling every time I hear the soundtrack and I still get the itch to replay it from time to time. It's a work for art and I'm so, so grateful I played it, even if I was quite late to the party all things considered.

But I can't deny that I fell into the rabbithole of having too many headcanons where I can't engage with other people to the extent I perhaps used to. I don't like many of the popular characters nearly as much as the fandom does, and those that are close to my heart I interpret in a way that speaks to me, but one that feels very distant to how other people view them.

It has some downsides. I avoid looking up HK fanart and I'm slowly starting to dislike getting posts about it recommended to me in the For You tab a little bit. Not because the art is bad, far from it, there are incredible artists and other members of this community that deserve all the love in the world. It's just that it keeps reminding me that my interpretations are so personal, and headcanons that go against them almost feel like mischaracterization, as ridiculous as it sounds. Some interpretations end up upsetting me more than I'd like, too. Some of it is misinterpretations that annoy me, but some are just things I personally don't agree with.

But part of me makes me think that it's my fault somehow. I can't quite explain it, I think this is somehow rooted in my self-esteem issues. I often fear that I don't belong, that I'm doing something wrong by not following the general fanon, that my AU feels like an insult against the canon because of how derived and self-indulgent it is. I didn't have that problem before, not to this extent, but as my mental health got worse over the months, it makes sense that something like this would also start to make itself known. Or at least it makes sense to me.

So deep down I'm torn. On one hand, I get weirdly protective over my interpretations and it's gone to the point where I struggle to separate them from the versions other people talk about. On the other, I'm starting to feel guilty that my AU versions are so different that they might upset some people.

I had some moments where I considered turning them into OCs. But every time I I think about that, I reach the conclusion that no, I don't want to do that. I love them the way they are, despite their designs evolving with time, I wouldn't want to change anything about them, let alone turn them into different characters. And it's not like I'm really changing the character from the canon. Some details are different, but it's also easy to forget that we don't really know much about a lot of these characters, so in many ways I'm just filling the blanks and writing the story around it. Not to mention, adapting canon in ways that I find personally engaging is one of my favorite things about the worldbuilding and lore of the AU. And then there's all the engagement from people who like the AU and want to learn more that is genuinely the main reason why it's as expansive as it is. I don't think I would've stuck around making art for it for this long if I was doing it for myself only.

But it's not just art, knowing that people care, and getting all the interesting ideas I haven't considered inspires me to expand the world of the AU even further, I think about it in my spare time, of all the ways I could develop the world, I still get random ideas for it that I eventually want to include, I read about something in the game's lore and I immediately think of the way I could adapt it into my AU. It became a personal project that I find comfort in, and changing it would just feel wrong. And I know how my brain works (well, at least I think I do), I know I wouldn't remain as invested if I were by myself, I need to share it with other people. And I doubt they would be as interested if it wasn't for the connection to HK. I think that's natural and to be expected.

So all that leaves me in a bit of an awkward spot. I love HK, but over the last year I built a wall around me and the sandbox of my personal interpretations, that creates this disconnect between me and the rest of the fandom. I don't think that fact alone makes me upset, either. There's a reason why I'm still sitting there and playing in that sandbox to this day, and it's because I genuinely love doing it. I guess the disconnect just feeds into my already existing confidence issues and worries. Then again, I haven't really left the fandom, and I'm not planning to anytime soon. All I'm hoping for is that my low-confidence plagued brain improves, and stops telling me I'm doing something wrong by playing in the sandbox by myself.

Okay, not by myself, that would be selfish of me to say. There's still a lot of you here, people whom my silly AU clicked with, people who want to see more of it and are still there for the 6th slice of life drawing of the week. I love and appreciate you all, and I'm really grateful I can share the sandbox with you. You're the best, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm so, so happy that you found something in my art that resonated with you.

I don't know how to end this post tbh. Again, it's not really meant to be a vent post, not the usual kind at least. Even if some things about this frustrate or upset me a little bit, I think I'm slowly moving towards the acceptance stage. I don't want to change my interpretations so they're more in line with the rest of the fandom, and I don't want to force myself to engage with things that upset me just to feel like I belong. All I'm hoping is that I eventually stop having doubts; about this, and everything in general.

I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts. Maybe someone else feels like they're in a similar spot. Maybe hearing some words of encouragement that I'm not going insane with this would also help me accept the position I'm in. Maybe it's Maybelline.

#getting this off my chest felt nice #makes me wonder if anyone else has ever experienced something similar to this #not just with hk but in general #gekko.txt #feral pk au

[saionjeans]

i think your blog made me like saionji. like in a "id soak him in hotdog water and throw him into a wall" sorta way

i think my blog also made me like saionji which is really funny to me bc i also cannot stand him. well actually no that’s not true either. ive always been deeply conflicted about him because i love his character design, and think that his baby design in his flashback is especially endearing. and also that scene where he cooks eggs he gathered in the woods in the middle of the night in a frilly yellow apron. like if not for the domestic abuse he’d rule actually. but also he sucks so bad. so i guess what i’m saying, anon, is that i’d also soak him in hotdog water and throw him into a wall

#saionji #u #ask #anon #i think him hitting anthy is like nanami drowning the cat #a seemingly unforgivable act of abject violence #that is actually far less egregious than the covert violence and abuse they are experiencing (and that motivates their actions) #so maybe i can forgive him for that? idk tho. anyone who has ever intentionally hurt anthy needs to die i fear

[izzyspussy]

i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

#jack facts #people be banging on about empathy this empathy that #and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what #that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol #and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before #i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know! #or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water'' #or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia #or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me'' #etc etc etc etc etc #anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept #and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity #the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING #to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy #and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad #but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective #and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person #or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation #another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm #done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations #that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over #i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions #and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol #like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like #fear. hunger. pain. #absolutely fucking exhausting

[nympippi]

The amazing, the clairvoyant, the girl who will beat anybody’s ass, Gwendolyn Blake!!

In this au Gwen is pretty much the same, except she’s learning to accept her gift and is actively experimenting with it.

In this au, Gwen gets really interested in criminal justice and helping people like she did with the boys before they came back. She likes putting her gift to good use and helping others,

She is an honorary ghost boy along with Finney, but she’s also the boys little sister, they always try to look out for her in some way. But yeah she doesn’t really change much in this au.

#pippi art #the black phone fandom #the black phone #the black phone fanart #necromancer finney au #tbp gwen #gwen blake #she does buy tarot cards though. she really leans into the clairvoyant seer persona a bit. #but Gwen is very smart and is very wise after having to see the visions of what happened in the basement #she knows borderline stuff like what the boys looked like when they died or what the basement looked like #but nothing as to what the boys personally experienced #but the boys are thankful to her and are a little bit intimidated by her gift #Vance and Robin have a lot of respect for her as a fighter #Billy doesn’t really know how to feel but he thinks she’s cool #griffin looks up to her a lot as an older sibling. despite them being the same age #or close in age #Finn also has a lot of respect for his kid sister and he sometimes wishes he could be have as strong as she is #but yeah. the boys absolutely love Gwen and if there’s anyone who ever gives her trouble they are in for a bad time with both the boys and #Gwen herself

[rucow]

this year i am experiencing having someone's mars (and chiron) in my 8H, and im going absolutely feral over them, like. im insane. ive lost whatever inhibitions i used to have. i am free and wild 🩷

#me experiencing attraction for the first time at the age of 26 and its only for someone whose mars is in my 8th house 😩🤌 #astrology and synastry are real btw...im proof of that 😭 #ive NEVER felt this way for anyone ever and im learning so much about myself its rly cool actually! and good. its good #thank u slipknot man number 8 for awakening something primal in me that i had previously suppressed 👍 #now i know that i AM capable of having unhinged feelings and desires 🥹✌️ #like not only is his energy intoxicating but his lyricism has me feeling STUPID ugh 😩 in multiple ways #i love passionate artists so much UGGGHH 🥺💖💖 #anyway dont u judge me ok? im trusting u and opening up to all of u rn so ur not allowed to judge me (thats a rule) #txt

[smol-grey-tea]

It was funny the first time it happened. It was hilarious. But now that it's happened a second time, I am so confused. Is it a new trend because I would love to take part

Today is the second time now that I've seen a man on a bus straight up just drinking a bottle of chocolate milk. Not in like a to-go bottle you'd get for lunch, like a whole big ass bottle/carton you'd buy from the supermarket to go in your fridge and poor a glass of every now n then

It was 2 different ppl each time!!!! And I even saw the 2nd guy eating a biscuit as well!!!! He didn't even have a bag with him or something like the first guy did, he was just carrying around this chocolate milk and drinking it on the bus??? What the heck??? I WANNA BE THIS GUY

#my post #has anyone else ever experienced such a thing #that's who i wanna be in life..

[youhavebeentraceyd]

when a character asks another character, that clearly looks upset "are you okay?": booo 🤮 that sucks 👎 bad writing 🥱 do better.

when a character asks another character that looks totally fine "are you okay?: oh hell yeah 😍 that's the good shit 👍 now start crying from the question ✨ oh baby this is top tier 💯

#my post #writing #script writing #i notice it a lot recently #the former you see a lot #off the top of my head i can think of two movies where a character is crying looks hysterical throwing shit #and someone comes in with a “are you okay?” #and its a pet peeve bc like the natural reaction is to be sarcastic af #like noooo theyre fine jfc #where as the latter - i actually can't think of any media thats done it #but i have experienced it first hand #all anyone has ever needed to do was put their hand on my shoulder and ask if I'm okay #and suddenly I'm bawling ny eyes out