#I JUST REALLY WANT A CITY JOB I WANT THAT CITY HEALTH INSURANCE

[roseband]

me trying to aggressively google if history of disability determined by a government education agency applies to my decade of services for 55-a civil service cuz literally nothing is clear online???? but it also has "history of disability" and "determined by dept of education" as criteria

and also like there's a city graphic design position open in my neighborhood that has 55-a preference, and if i could snag an interview before other ppl have to take the exam (which... im a multiple choice test qwweeeeeen so i wouldn't be worried about the test but skipping the test line,, hmmmmmm)

#personal #i wish this shit was clearer LMAO i'll just apply normal and if i get an interview i'll ask them LOLOLOL #i mean three government agencies confirmed my dyspraxia and also two non profits #federal when i was a peewee... mass state when i was a peewee and then ny state for most of services #and my evals were done at ucp and yai #I JUST REALLY WANT A CITY JOB I WANT THAT CITY HEALTH INSURANCE #and i want to pay into a pension program instead of a 401k LMAO #like MAN my mom's health insurance was SOOOOOO good i miss it a little #i mean my health insurance is rlly good and my fiance like is super happy to get on it #but it's not city teacher (or city graphic designer) health insurance LOL

[brucewaynehater101]

I do have a few more examples! Tim offers Mister Freeze unlimited funding to help his wife on the condition that he sometimes helps with other projects. He hires Harvey Dent to be his personal lawyer (not that he needs one). Blood Sport, Death Stroke, Dead Shot, and many other mercenaries are hired to "break into" Drake Industries to hunt down and "kill" Tim or "steal" important information in order to test his companies defenses and tell him exactly how they got in so that he can patch any holes. He hires one to break in every 2 to 3 months but never the same person in a year. Like if he uses Deathstroke in August he can't use him again until January.

Tim also doesn't want to force these rouges to move far away from their homes so he opens up branches in Metropolis, Central City, Star City, and others too. Anywhere he opens an office for Drake Industries, crime rate always plummets thanks to him hiring all the Henchmen and giving them stable jobs that pay at minimum double the minimum wage of the area plus really good health insurance and other benefits. They even have dental and 4 months paid maternity *and* paternity leave! The desk work may not be as exciting as their previous jobs but boy is it safer.

Also I would like to make one note. DI is one of the few major cooperations in America that openly does *not* donate to the Jusitce Leauge. Tim is still salty about Bruce Quest and during an interview where someone asked how much he donates to them, Tim said, "oh I don't. At all. It's not that I don't believe in them, I do, uts just. There's already so many places funding them they don't need me. But you know who does? The younger generation of heroes. Did you know that The Teen Titans only get funding through the Justice Leauge? I don't think that's very fair so I donate to them. I donate to Young Justice. I track down and do research on dozens of younger heroes who aren't part of any organization and check to make sure they're doing good in their community and then I directly donate to them. Superheroing is expensive, just look how much the JL spends on it! Could you imagine? Being fresh out of high-school, working a minimum wage job, and having to make your own suit and gadgets while also paying for *college*? The stories I have heard from some of them! This one poor kid, he told me that he had to use this roll of regular fabric he found in a dumpster because buying a roll was to expensive! Of course I sent him to a super hero tailor on my own dime, after all he just wanted to help his community saving kittens from trees and stopping local mugging. But still, small heroes like him are important. After all, didn't Superman start by saving cats from trees? Didn't Green Arrow start by stopping a mugging? Didn't Batman himself start by stopping a purse snatching? You never know who the next big hero will be in 5 or ten years."

I might have gotten a bit to into that rant. Listen. Listen this is a subject close to my heart. Small Time Heroes Are Important!

My gods, I love this so so much. You combined two tropes I love: Tim using Business to fund social programs/decrease crime/hire ex felons and criminals, and Tim turning his back on the JL after the BruceQuest.

Added with Tim funding small time heroes???? This is phenomenal

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #thank you for the ask!!!! #dc au

[gingiesworld]

Fatal Attraction

Chapter One

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader/ Wanda Maximoff x Jarvis Stark

Warnings : Fluff. Angst.

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop

18+ MINORS DNI

Wanda Maximoff, was known as Jarvis Stark's new wife, and NYU graduate, that was all. Once Jarvis had gotten a job at his father's company, Wanda had quickly adjusted to the stay at home housewife. Even after she had done her morning chores and meal preps, she wasted a majority of the day either sitting on the sofa watching TV or just staring out of the window at the bustling city below. Even her latest conversations with Jarvis made her want to retreat from him.

"I think we should try for a baby." He told her as her eyes widened.

"What?" She almost yelled across the table from him.

"We're married now." He stated.

"Barely." She told him as he shrugged.

"I have a steady job and income, we can provide for a baby Wanda." He smiled at her as she shook her head no.

"I don't want a baby Vis." She told him firmly. "I am not ready for that sort of commitment."

"We're already married, Wanda." He told her sternly as Wanda started to clear the table. "I think not being ready for commitment has already passed."

"No." She told him as she squeezed her eyes closed. "Being married is different to starting a family. We are both 22 for crying out loud."

"All the more reason to do it." He told her. "By the time they will be off to college we will just be pushing passed 40, an age to start living our lives again."

"I said no Jarvis." She snarled as he just sighed.

"Just think about it." He requested before he retreated to their shared room. Wanda knew exactly how she felt about the whole children's situation.

Did she see herself as a mother at some point? Yes, just not right now. Not when she has a lot of living to do.

So she made it her mission to reject every advance Jarvis had made. Denying his every need to have intimacy with her. She couldn't really sneakily go on birth control as they now had shared health insurance.

So she had done the next best thing, she had made several resumes and sent them out to multiple organisations, hoping that she may just get herself a job and a way to earn her own money and not have to rely on Jarvis's family fund.

Every day she checked the mail, hoping that she may get an acceptance letter, only receiving polite rejection letters.

"I bet you're going to tell me what the others have said huh?" She questioned as she sat with the envelope in her hand. Taking a deep breath before opening the letter and reading the black ink.

Dear Ms Maximoff

Thank you for your resume, and I am afraid that all departments have been filled. Although, I do have an assistant about to go on maternity leave. It is only a temporary position. If you may be interested, please contact me as soon as possible.

Many regards

Y/N Y/L/N

CEO

Wanda was fast to dial up the number provided, although she had waited for half an hour until she was put through to Y/N.

"Y/N Y/L/N, how may I help you?" They answered.

"Hi, Mx Y/L/N, it's Wanda Maximoff." She rambled nervously. "I was just calling up about the temp position you have available?"

"Hi, Ms Maximoff." They spoke cheerfully. "I do have a full week this week but maybe if you can stop by the office at noon? I have 30 minutes spare for lunch if you're free to do your interview then."

"Yes." Wanda answered excitedly. "Of course."

"Perfect." They answered her. "I shall see you at noon. Don't be late." With that they hung up, just before Wanda squealed. She was excited to have a job prospect so soon, but her excitement didn't last too long when Jarvis came inside with one of her resumes in his hand.

"You know, we have been looking to fill some spots in our tech department and when I noticed this on my desk of potential candidates, I thought that couldn't be my Wanda Maximoff but there is only one Wanda Maximoff in New York." He slammed the paper on the table before him. "What are you even doing Wanda?"

"I am looking for a job." She told him.

"You don't need a job." He told her.

"No, but I want a job." She told him. "I am sick and tired of living the same routine every day. It gets extremely lonely."

"Maybe if we try." He started as Wanda interrupted him.

"I already told you no Jarvis!" She yelled. "I am not ready to be a mother!"

"No one is truly ready to be a parent dear." He tried to approach her when she stepped back.

"No." She told him firmly. "I don't want a baby. Not now."

"Wanda! This is something that is expected when we marry." He told her as she laughed.

"We are not living in the 50s!" She told him. "It is my body and I do not want a child."

"It has to be done Wanda." He told her.

"No it doesn't!" She shouted, starting to get angry with every second he wasn't listening to her. "I am 22, freshly out of college, I should be out partying with friends, working a job I hate to try and make ends meet."

"But you don't have to do any of that." He told her.

"Because we have your father's money?" She spoke with a raised brow. "I want to be able to earn my own way Vis, so please just let me." He just nodded as he walked away, leaving Wanda to clean up the dinner that neither had the appetite to eat.

The next day, Wanda was getting ready for her interview with Y/N. She was extremely nervous as she hasn't had a job since she worked part time in high school at the local cafè. So she made sure she was at the building earlier, sipping on a coffee as she waited for Y/N, already being informed that they were in a meeting.

She soon perked up when a door opened and a large group of people left the room. Waiting to see what Y/N looks like.

"Ms Maximoff." They spoke up as they spotted Wanda. "Follow me." She was fast to follow them into their office. Admiring the view from behind them as they sat at their desk. "So, your resume was quite."

"I know, I haven't really had a job since high school." She told them. "But I graduated at the top of my class in college."

"And you are married." They pointed out as they noticed the gold band on her finger. "And you're 22."

"My husband and I have been together since high school." She told them as they smiled softly.

"Well, he is a very lucky guy." They told her before looking at her seriously. "So, why do you want this job?" They asked her.

"Well, I want to be able to make something of myself, earn my own way." She told them. "It's just that Jarvis expects me to stay at home and birth his children but I don't want that."

"You want to be independent." They pointed out as she nodded. "So why did you marry him?"

"I love him." She answered easily, although at that moment, the words felt like a foreign language on her tongue.

"As easy as that." They pried before realising Wanda's unsure gaze. "Forgive me, that was out of line."

"No." She waved them off before looking up again.

"Well, I guess I can have you start on Monday, Jean will show you the ropes before she leaves on Friday." They told her with a smile.

"I got the job?" She asked them, with shock and confusion in her eyes.

"You got the job." They smiled as she squealed. "Just leave your details, social security number and bank account details with Jean."

"Thank you so much Y/N." She stood up as Y/N walked around the desk.

"Be here Monday, 8am." They smiled at her before opening the door for her, the two approaching Jean. "Do you have the files for my next meeting?" She handed them an A4 manilla file. "Also, can you sort out Ms Maximoff's details for your temporary replacement. She will be shadowing you next week before you leave us to have this little guy." Jean nodded with a smile before Y/N had disappeared down the hall and into the elevator.

"They aren't the easiest to work for." Jean told her. "They are perfectionists."

"I can see that." Wanda smiled as she handed over the appropriate papers.

"But they are loyal to their employees." Jean told her. "That is one thing I can say about them." Wanda was fascinated by them, only meeting them briefly but seeing how smart and sophisticated they seemed. It only drew her in, needing to know more. She found herself thinking about them, even when she was laying in bed at night beside her husband. Her thoughts were innocent but she still felt guilty.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen #wanda x you #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #wanda maximoff x you

[flanaganfilm]

Hey, Mike! Did moving to Los Angeles at the start of your career turn out to be all that you thought it would be? It’s a big step that a lot of people take, and I’ve never really heard you talk about those early years before. Did you ever contemplate quitting? And if so, I’m glad you stuck to it - we love your work!

Oh, I contemplated quitting many, many times.

I moved to Los Angeles in January, 2003. I had just graduated the previous summer from Towson University, and a group of five of us moved out together. Some wanted to be filmmakers, some wanted to be actors. We shared a 3-bedroom apartment in Glendale. The adjacent apartment was occupied by four other Towson alums. Between the two apartments, we called it "Little Towson." I didn't own a car at the start. I had no health insurance. I'd saved a few thousand dollars to get me through the first six months, but none of us had jobs at the beginning. I remember applying (and being rejected) for a job at Walmart. I combed Craigslist looking for non-union editorial gigs.

I had told myself I'd give it five years, and if I hadn't gotten any traction, I'd move back to Maryland.

People started dropping out pretty quickly. One of my roommates (and one of my best friends) had moved out here to be an actor, and only lasted a few months before he decided to go back. It's overwhelming and terrifying to take a leap into a city as expensive as LA, and you're surrounded by people who all want the same career that you want. But it feels like there is a thousand foot wall circling the industry, and it seems impossible to scale it.

I found work doing odd editorial jobs before working as a logger, than an assistant editor, then an editor on a few reality shows. I shot and cut those local car commercials you see on late night cable. And I frequently ran out of money and overdrafted my account. As more and more of our original group gave up and moved back East, I started to feel more and more crazy. A lot of my friends from school were getting married, buying houses, having kids. I felt pretty delusional as my 5-year deadline came and went, and I still hadn't found any way over or through that wall. When we started to talk about making Absentia in 2010, I had been in LA for more than 7 years. I was working two jobs as an editor. I found out I was going to be a father. It felt very much like whatever I'd wanted to happen by moving to LA was not going to happen. Absentia was kind of last-ditch effort. Ultimately, the five year plan I'd allowed myself when I moved to LA turned into a 9-year plan. I started shooting Oculus - my first "real" movie - in the fall of 2012, just shy of my 10th anniversary in Los Angeles. That movie wouldn't come out for a while after that, so by the time I actually had a career as a filmmaker, well over a decade had passed struggling in LA.

For most of that time, my refusal to move back to Maryland looked (and felt) like a delusion. Only afterward did it start to look like "tenacity." And it never felt like "persistence" or "determination"... it felt insane. It felt like constant, daily frustration and rejection. And when I couldn't pay the bills, or couldn't land a job, it felt downright embarrassing.

For what it's worth, the only difference I've seen between people who "make it" out here and don't are that the ones who made it all stayed long past their expiration dates. I've seen wildly talented people pack it up and head home. Talent helps a lot once the door is open, but really the only thing that opens the door is persistence. To the point of feeling insane.

#los angeles #film business #behind the scenes #I felt absolutely insane for almost ten years

[crushedsweets]

How would the other proxies react if Brian/Toby got badly hurt during a mission?

Ok lets say Brian and Toby got sent on a mission together. They were both torn up pretty bad, Kate stumbled upon Brian and Toby being incredibly hurt. Bleeding out and shit. She'd freak out, try dragging them herself, yelling as well - it might trigger a O/S episode, so she'd have the strength to drag one of them pretty far(plus adrenaline and stuff), but she'd still be freaking out. better off running as fast as she can to Tim, getting the truck, and coming back to pick them up.

eventually, they'd get to Jack's cabin.

If Brian is still unconscious for whatever reason while Toby's sitting to the side half bandaged cuz Brian got pain-priority, Tim would be screaming at Toby about it. Not cause Toby did anything wrong, but because he wants to know what the hell happened and he doesn't know how to cope with the fear and stress normally.. Tim would have to leave and go pace around outside cuz he's worried.

Once Brian is completely settled and bandaged up and Toby's getting treated by Jack, Tim would still be pretty upset and unable to express the concern in a non-angry way, but he'd relax a bit knowing they're both gonna be fine. He'd try convincing Brian to go to a real doctor to get checked out, but neither of them have great health insurance so it's unlikely... and toby cannot go to a hospital period so they'd all just cope.

Kate would stay just so she knows whats going on, but she doesnt really offer any emotional support. She'd just sit off to the side and fidget and wash her hands and go through Jacks fridge and waste time. talk to Toby when Tim's not yelling

Tim and Brian share an apartment out in the city already, away from the cabin, so Tim would kinda. not take care of him, but check in more often. bring home take out and drive him where he needs to go.

Brian and Tim would ask Kate to stay at the cabin more to keep checking on Toby. depending on the point in the story, Kate probably would stay. they'd just talk and she wouldn't do much besides like... "idk if you should be out chopping wood bro" and Toby would be like "shut up i can do what I want" so kates like ok. but then kate would 'accidentally' mention it to tim and then toby gets shouted at cuz "if you break your body, it means our jobs get harder" LMFAO

#WISH i could write fanfics well #i'd love to do a little oneshot with this concept #creeped

[boxoftheskyking]

So you might want to buy a house

DISCLAIMER: all of this is based on my own experience, and I am in no way a real estate professional. This is just some stuff that I’ve learned and some steps that I wish I’d known more about in advance, in hopes that it might be helpful for some people. I might get some terminology wrong, or make mistakes, but hopefully the general info is at least kind of helpful

ABOUT ME: because real estate stuff is specific. I am 33, single, employed, and live in a city in Minnesota, USA. This is my first home purchase, so most of this is specific to being a first-time buyer. I’ve been renting in this area for 15 years. I closed on my house in August 2023.

NOTE: The real estate market is super weird, and varies hugely from region to region, neighborhood to neighborhood, and week to week. What shook out for me will not be what shakes out for you.

This is SO LONG, so it’s under a cut, and I hope you will take it with the good faith in was intended!

Where do I start?

So you want to get started but want to talk things over first. This is a good idea! Even if you have friends and family who have bought before, it’s nice to talk to official type people where you can ask any and every question and know they’ve heard way dumber questions than you could ever come up with over the course of their career.

Employee Assistance Program -If you work a job that has benefits, you might have what’s called an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Some companies get it along with their health insurance as kind of a bundle, but a lot of people don’t talk about it or know about it. -EAPs are all different, they’re basically a resource hub that you might have access to if your employer covers it. Some things they offer are limited therapy/counseling sessions (usually around a specific need like a breakup/death/life transition), consultation about adoption, personal financial advising, and consultation on housing and buying property. -I used my EAP to find a bunch of organizations that work to support first-time home buyers. The one I went with, NeighborWorks Home Partners, is specific to my area, but there were other options listed. -I didn’t actually talk to anyone related to the EAP, I just logged in to a site that had a bunch of links. But I could have talked to someone if I wanted -If you work a job and have benefits like health insurance, retirement, dental, etc it’s worth asking whoever does your benefits (and HR person, general manager, office manager, etc) if there is an EAP. Again, a lot of people don’t really talk about it.

Homebuyer Education -There’s a bunch of different organizations that provide homebuyer education. I didn’t know many of the details about homebuying, and it’s super confusing and anxiety-inducing, so I found it helpful -There’s a few ways to do this—I did both a one-on-one consultation and an online class -The one-on-one consultation was free from the org I chose. We talked on Zoom and went over monthly budgets (which I didn’t really need to do, I make budgets for a living lolllll), a soft credit pull (will talk more about this below) and talk about what goes into a credit score, and all the different expenses that go into a house and what that might look like. At the end of the day, it gave me the first sense of what my budget for a house might be.  -They did a soft credit pull (see below), which gave me a sense of my credit. It was more accurate than a thing like Credit Karma or my bank. -One note about the consultation - my down payment assistance program (will talk more about this later) required me to redo it, because I did it over a year before closing. So depending on your programs you might need to pay attention to the timeline. I also got a certificate saying I did it that I submitted to my assistance program. (Redoing it meant like a 10 minute call where the guy just helped talk me through my closing documents) -It cost me $75 to take an online class that took a few hours. It was in 8 parts and included watching some videos, reading some short articles, and then taking quizzes. You had to get 80% right to pass, and you can redo it if you need to. It went over most of the things to know and had links to read more. I also got a certificate for that to submit, and it didn’t matter how much time had passed for my assistance program. 

Credit -I’m not going to explain everything about credit, because it is complicated -A soft credit pull is when they check the three major credit reporting agencies to get a general sense of your score. It’s not 100% accurate. -A hard credit pull is what lenders will do when you actually go in for a preapproval (more below). It will be the most accurate. A hard credit pull will have an affect on your credit score, so if you’re ever doing something that involves a hard credit pull, it’s best to do all of that within a month so that it only really hits once. -There are 3 credit reporting agencies, and your score will be different from each one. Why? no idea. They all have a different maximum number that your score can be. Why? again, no idea. It’s around 850 though. -Generally things get easier to do if your score is above 680ish. It’s not like you can’t get a house with a lower score, but sometimes there are other hoops to jump through. -I’m not very useful when it comes to buying a house with low credit, but I bet there are people who are!  -You build credit by owing money and paying it regularly. It’s annoying and dumb, but it’s the way it is. Paying rent on time builds your credit, having a credit card that you pay off every month builds credit, paying utility bills that are in your name builds credit. (Note: This stuff has to be in your name for it to count, so if you pay your roommate every month for the electric bill and it’s in their name, it won’t count. So if you’re in that situation, you may want to put something in your name like a card to build your score). Paying off a car or phone or student loan also helps. -I have really good credit, and I’m neither rich nor special. I just set everything to autopay, including my credit card bill. I use my credit card for most things that I just shop for in the world like groceries, etc, and then I have all my bills autopay from my checking account. How did people do this shit before autopay? I have no idea.

Mortgage vs. Rent -The benefit of paying a mortgage vs rent is that you’re building equity if you pay into a mortgage. This is a surprise tool that will help you later. Which means that if you are in a situation where you need money, you can borrow from what you’ve paid into your mortgage. So like if you get very sick or have a kid going to school or want to throw a big party, you could get a loan based on your equity -Equity is confusing, don’t ask me about it -For me, I pay a bit more per month than I did in rent at my last place. BUT mostly that’s because I’d been living in the same place for many years and my rent hadn’t gone up that much. One of the first things I did when considering buying is look at how much it would cost to rent a house like the kind I would want to buy. And those rents are over what I ended up paying monthly to my mortgage. -Keep in mind that you will be taking on some extra expenses that you don’t have as a renter (like maintenance, repairs, etc). Note: if you’re buying a condo, that’s different. I don’t know shit about that. -So for me, paying my landlord every month for him to occasionally (half-assedly) fix stuff (on his schedule, where he decides who to hire or how to do the work, where he is a stranger in my space for the duration) was not as appealing as me paying the bank every month so I can have some equity  -The first 6 months of owning a house feels like hemorrhaging money out of every orifice, but the majority of these expenses are one-time or rarely-reoccurring things. But I didn’t quite prepare for this the way I wish I had, so when you’re thinking about building your savings to buy a house, you’ll want to consider things like furniture, small repairs, pest control, duct cleaning, gutter cleaning, many many visits to a hardware store, realizing some of your stuff doesn’t fit the way it did in the old place and you have to get new things.... etc. 

The Money Stuff

Lenders -It might be appealing to start by looking at properties, but especially in a hot market that’s not what you want to do first -The first thing to do is to look at lenders! Lenders are basically the institutions that give you the loan to buy your house, and the ones you will be paying monthly for the 30 years of your loan (or until you sell) (or die I guess) -I talked to like 13 lenders, because I love an excuse not to move forward on scary things, so I just do research and research and research until I run out of steam. So i don’t necessarily recommend doing that. But you definitely want to talk to at least a few. -Lenders can be banks (like Bank of American, US Bank, Wells Fargo, etc), credit unions (like Affinity, RCU, etc), or smaller mortgage companies. -You can also talk to mortgage brokers, which are companies that have agreements with different banks or companies and can shop around on your behalf. -I got my list of people to talk to from: my consultation (above), friends who had bought/were buying, friends who like their bank/credit unions for other things -You’ll have a specific person you’re working with, so who that person is matters. -Things you’ll want to ask about 1. How is their communication? How big is your team? If you see a house on a Saturday and they need offers by Sunday afternoon, how likely is it that they will get your preapproval letter ready in time?  2. Are they good at explaining things to you? Do they work with first-time homebuyers a lot? Do you feel dumb talking to them? Are they mortgage nerds and genuinely seem like they care about finding you good deals and cool programs? 3. What are their interest rates at the moment? Know that this will change between now and the time you have the option to lock in, so don’t put too too much weight on this 4. Most importantly: What assistance programs do they have access to? Everyone has different ones, which we’ll talk about below. Don’t assume that because a bank is huge that they have a ton of assistance. Some small places have really great programs. Likewise, some of the banks that are more well-known for big ticket mortgages (like Jumbo loans for mansions, etc) actually have crazy good programs for low-income and first-time home buyers, because they need to show that they also work for the little guy -I ended up going with a small local mortgage company because they had a kickass program ($10,000 in down payment assistance that is forgivable in 5 years. So as long as I don’t sell my house in 5 years, I don’t have to pay that back). -You may be tempted to solely base your decision on who to get a mortgage from on the politics of the lending institution. This is a lovely instinct. HOWEVER, your mortgage can be sold to anyone at any time. Within a month of moving in, my mortgage was sold to Freddie Mac. I still pay the credit union that is the servicer of my loan, but it all goes back to the big guy in the end. So basically you have no control of where your money ends up. (or maybe you do somehow, ask someone else about that) -At the end of the day, you should apply to like 2-4 different lenders. Once you fill out your application, they’ll do a hard credit pull and look at all your income, bank accounts, etc, and they’ll pre-approve you for a certain amount of money. -This is really where you’ll get your house-hunting budget. There can be a pretty big range in what you’re approved for! One lender approved me for $220K (”maybe $225K” they said). Another approved me for $280K. You’ll want to pick a lender based on all the above information, along with the amount you’re approved for. Being approved for $280K doesn’t mean that’s what you should spend (you can, but I don’t recommend it), but it does mean that your budget can be more like $250K, compared for $225K. You’ll want to look around at your area to see what’s reasonable for you.

Downpayment Assistance -for a lot of first-time buyers, the downpayment (and closing costs) is the thing that’s standing between you and being a homeowner. So that’s what a lot of organizations focus on -The more you put down (i.e. pay right off the bat), the lower your loan will be, and therefore the less your monthly payment will be. So it’s worth it to try and pay down as much as possible -(Likewise, if you buy and house and then get a windfall and are like What do I do with all this cash, paying down your mortgage will save you money) -This is because you pay MORE in interest than you pay for your house, so the less your loan is, the less you’re paying in interest. If you find a way to pay off your loan early, you end up paying less interest! And you win against the bank! If you get a raise and are able to put even like an extra $100 towards your mortgage each month, that can cut years off your loan and build your equity more quickly, thereby cutting down on the interest you end up paying. So unlike paying more money to a landlord who will eat it with a spoon, maybe more in your mortgage early is helpful for you. -Lots of downpayment assistance (hereinafter DPA) is stackable! So you can qualify for multiple programs and use them all -Many have an income requirement (for one of mine, I need to make 80% of the median income in my area or less). -Many are location specific. Some of those you can look up in advance and try to focus on properties in those areas. Some are super super specific, like this block only, or these specific addresses. That’s true for one of my programs—whenever I was considering making an offer on a house, I’d email my lender and she’d tell me if that specific address counts for the assistance program -At the end of the day, I got $30K in assistance. $10K of that is forgivable in 5 years (so I don’t have to pay it back unless I sell in that time). The other $20K is from two separate no-interest loans. This means that if I sell the house, I have to pay back that amount. Ideally by that time I’ll have enough equity in my house that will cover that. -Interest rates are super high right now, so if you’re buying now you want to think about refinancing. Refinancing is basically when you negotiate a new deal with your lender. There are fees and things (I’ve never done it so IDK), but the benefit of doing that is getting a lower interest rate. So my rate is 6.25%, and in 5 years if the rate goes down to like 2.3% I may want to refinance so I’ll be paying less in interest over the course of my loan. -If you’re getting DPA that’s a loan, you will want to ask what happens when you refinance. They’ll probably tell you either you have to pay it back when you refinance (so don’t get stuck in that situation if you don’t have that $$$ on hand) or they’ll say it’ll be subordinated -this took me like weeks to get a straight answer on wtf is subordination. Basically, you pay your loans off in order, right, so you pay your mortgage and then after that you pay off your DPA loans. So if you refinance, then your mortgage ends up being “newer” I guess. So in order to put the mortgage back “on top” of the pile to pay off, so to speak, you pay that (and it’s interest) first, the DPA loans get shoved down underneath the mortgage on the list. 

Interest Rates -You can’t control interest rates. Honestly markets are so volatile and the world is so close to ending, I would say it’s not worth waiting for them to go down. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. No one fuckin knows -So many global, political, circumstantial things affect these, and who knows what might happen. My friends happened to be closing during the time the debt ceiling almost freaked out, which was outside of their control, so they got screwed with a super high rate.  -After you get an offer accepted and you’re working on setting up your loan, you’ll usually get the offer to “lock in” an interest rate. Basically, if you have reason to believe rates will go down before you close, don’t do it. if you think they’ll go up, then do it. Who fuckin knows. I did it bc I didn’t think it was likely stuff would go down. And I haven’t looked it up bc if they did I don’t want to know -There are more complicated things you can do with interest rates, like “floating down” and APRs and other shit. Don’t ask me about them, I do not know.

Looking for houses

Realtors -Who your realtor is MATTERS y’all. Here is what a realtor will do: 1. Give you access to a Super Awesome online listing of properties (much better than Zillow! Updates constantly). They will set your search filters based on what you specifically want and your specific budget. That includes size, amenities, location, school district, garage, yard, etc etc 2. Arrange showings for you. Sometimes you might want to go to open houses, but you don’t have to wait for those to see a house. You tell your realtor what you’re interested in and they can set up a time for just you and them to see the place 3. Access houses with funky lil lockboxes. Heist teams should include realtors—I’ve seen my guy get into the weirdest of devices in no time 4. Recommend places to you 5. Talk on your behalf with the seller’s agents or the sellers themselves 6. Take you all the way through your offers, acceptance, all the way to closing (basically, most of the rest of this post) -I am really lucky that a friend of mine is one of the best realtors in town (in my humble opinon). It really worked out for me, because when it came to negotiating price and terms with sellers and their agents, people already respected him and his expertise because he was a known fixture in the field. I’m not saying that an early-career or unknown realtor is bad, but reputation can do a lot of heavy lifting for you (as you’ll see later) -My realtor, S, is not only a friend, but also someone who has owned, rented, built, remodeled, bought, and sold everything from high rise condos to alpaca farms to tiny houses built in shipping containers. That experience was super useful to me for a few reasons: 1. He was very very good at looking at a roof, foundation, or basement, and saying “absolutely not, this is a mess” —I could only rarely see what he was talking about because I know nothing 2. If I looked at a space and said “what if I wanted to add a shower there?” or “could I make this basement area a bedroom?” S was able to pretty accurately estimate what that would cost. So that became part of the math as we looked at places, which was really useful and saved me so much time doing research on my own 3. He’s a queer artist who grew up in a nontraditional family and has lived many fascinating and non-standard lives. I only mention this because when I wanted to talk about my future and what my home could look like, I didn’t have to worry about S making assumptions about what “family” consists of or what my “role” would be. And as a single woman who is looking to adopt, that really meant a lot to me! -(side note if you’re in the Twin Cities and want S’s info, hit me up) -The most important thing about working with S, for me, is that he never made me feel foolish. I gradually got really good at talking about and looking at houses, but even when I asked questions that were obviously, or made incorrect assumptions, he never treated me like I should have known the answers, or like the process was supposed to be easy. And the guy genuinely loves houses!

What to Look For -You’ll want to find a house that fits what you want your life to be, not necessarily what it is at this moment. So think about what you want your day to day to be like. Will you be working from home at all? Do you have or want kids or pets? Do you want to be a person who hosts out of town guests? Do you want to have band practice at your place? Do you want to host D&D? Large holiday meals? Do you want to garden? Grill? Have a firepit? Do you have a car, or do you think you will? Do you have physical access needs based on your body, like particular types of doorways, floors, stairs, size of spaces, etc.? Are there furniture pieces that are important to you that you want to plan around? (For me, I have an electric piano, and placing that was super important).

-I’m a single person, and I want to adopt a kid, and I know I’ll need a roommate in order to afford my mortgage. So it was vital for me to find a house that either had 3 bedrooms, or had 2 bedrooms and a 3rd could be easily finished/added. it was also important that my roommate would have their own private space that was decent size for me to charge rent -Think about all year round. I live in Minnesota, and you better believe snow was top of mind at every house. As a renter, my landlord was supposed to deal, with anything over 3 inches (did he always? of course not). Now it’s my responsibility. What kind of trees are around? Do you have big storms? You need to pay attention to big branches and power lines. Is it getting super hot where you live? You probably want to prioritize central air, or shade.

-On the topic of central air - It’s pricey to add it to a house that doesn’t have forced air heat, because you have to add all the ductwork. If that’s the case and you don’t have that $$$, you can either go with window units or something called a mini-split. It’s basically mini air conditioners that heat floors separately, but have a better range than a window unit. -Does the house have a yard you want to deal with? How about a sidewalk you have to shovel (woe unto you in corner lots) -How does bussing work for the schools in your area, if that matters to you? -Some houses will be empty. Empty rooms look smaller than rooms that have shit in them -Some will be staged. People who stage houses don’t fill them with STUFF, so you’ll notice few bookcases, coatracks, etc. Think about the stuff you have, not the stuff they put in the house. -You will be AMAZED at how some people live. Seriously. Some people have a giant ass oak tree literally leaning on their roof and just deal with it. Some people have 3 bedroom houses, and the only bathroom is only accessible by going through one of the bedrooms. Some people have their fridge down a flight of stairs from the kitchen. Some people have their laundry in the basement, but the only access to the basement is through an outside door. In some climates that’s fine, but I live in fucking Minnesota -I had the instinct when I started looking that I needed to be entirely open to everything, and not be too picky. After about two weeks of looking (and S had me going to like 4-9 showings a day some days), I got real picky real fast. This was helpful for S and helpful for me, so we weren’t wasting time on houses that weren’t contenders. I learned that the houses’ feelings did not get hurt by me not wanting to buy them -Likewise, I started out being entirely open about where I wanted to live. Anywhere in the Cities or near suburbs, I said. But then I went to see houses in these places and realized I did not want to drive that far to work, or that the only way to access places was by the highway, so if it shuts down or there’s a bad snowstorm, I’m stuck. -To that end, i found it really helpful to make myself a Google map (you can make some and save them) of where I go. I included work, church, my bandmates houses, bars I like to go to, and my friends’ houses. Then whenever I was considering a house I’d plunk it on the map and see how it lined up with the realities of my life. -We’ll talk about offers in a sec, but remember that people can technically list their house for whatever number they want. So it’ll be up to you and your realtor to decide what’s fair. I mention this here, because a house may be listed way cheaper than others on your list—there’s likely a reason for that, but if it looks promising, give it a try! It could be that the reason it’s listed low doesn’t matter to you (i.e. it’s next to an annoying business that you don’t mind, or doesn’t have a garage but you don’t have a car, or the other houses int he neighborhood have yards and this doesn’t). Or it could be the seller needs to move it FAST and you can take advantage of their situation. -If you’re a handy person, a cheaper house might be a great option if fixing it up to be what you want is affordable for you. (Again, this is where a realtor like S can be super helpful to come up with those costs). For me, I didn’t want to do jack shit to the house, and I knew I’d be paying for that. (not that I don’t have a whole spreadsheet of eventual projects....but that’s invevitable) -Likewise, it can be helpful to set your filters to include houses a bit above your budget. Some people list their houses WAY higher than they should, so if you see a property that’s been on the market for a while (when I was looking the market was hothothot, so “a while” could mean anything over a week/10 days. In a slower market, you’ll want to look at those that have been listed for 30+ days), it might be worth checking out and then offering low. Chances are the seller will need to reduce the price anyway if they’re not getting any bites, and you could get a good deal by jumping in before they do that. -IDK where else to put this, but measure the garage. I didn’t, and I discovered like a month ago that my car (a little compact Toyota) is too long for my damn garage. It’s not that I wouldn’t have bought the house because of that, but I could have included it in some negotiations.

Offers -So you found a house you like! Now the scary part. 

-You’ll get a sense of the market from your realtor, and they can usually advise you about how quickly you need to move on a potential offer. Sometimes a seller will give a deadline themselves: they call this “best and highest.” So they’ll say “we’re hearing offers at 3pm tomorrow” or “we’re asking for best and highest on Monday.” Generally that’s the cutoff for receiving viable offers. -In the market when I was buying, it was pretty common for houses to sell for 20-40K over the asking price. Again, some houses would be listed too high or too low, as I mentioned before, but on average that’s what I was working with. There were also a TON of offers on all the properties I liked. The lowest number of offers on a house I tried to get was 5, the highest was 19. That is kind of insane. In a slower market, when you’re not competing with that many people, you can offer closer to the asking price (or some people just say “asking” as in “20 over asking”) -The first thing I did when I decided to put in an offer, was to talk to my realtor so he could start getting the paperwork together. You can’t just email the seller and say “i want your house,” there are legal documents that have to be drawn up to make it a binding agreement if it’s accepted. -My folks bought their house without a realtor and did all the negotiating, etc, themselves, but they still needed a realtor friend to do the paperwork for them. If you go that route, you can probably do more informal offers, but IDK how that works. -The next thing I did was contact my lender for the following things: 1. I gave them the address and asked “Does this fall within certain DPAs?” 2. I asked them to run some numbers for me. Usually it was a version of: “What would my monthly payment be if I offered $240K and put down $5K in earnest money, and if I had $20K of downpayment assistance? How about if I offered $245K or $250K? What if I only put down $2500?” This helped me figure out what kind of offer I could reasonably make, and what it would actually cost me monthly if I got the house. 3. Then, when I decided what I wanted to offer, I would ask for a preapproval letter that includes the address of the property, basically saying “hey we’re a lender and we will give Jay a loan of $XX to buy this house, pinky promise” -I copied S on all my communications with the lender, so he knew what I was considering and he could give advice -(sometimes I saw a house on Friday and had to make an offer by noon on Saturday, leading to me trying to call my lender at 9am on a Saturday morning, which sucked. This is why knowing who’s on your lender’s team and how to contact them matters) -There’s no hard and fast way to decide on a good offer, because you won’t know how many you’re competing against. Sometimes your realtor might be able to chat with the sellers agent and find out how many people saw the property, if they have a sense of how popular it is, but sometimes you want. You want to be able to afford it, but also not go so low that you won’t even be considered. -Usually, your realtor will ask you to write a love letter to the house to include in the offer. “Dear seller, I love your house because of blah blah blah, I can see myself doing blah blah blah, specifics specifics.” Do these matter? I don’t feel like they do but whatever. Make a template and update it for each offer. -One thing to note about this is that you DO NOT want to give information about yourself regarding your status in a protected class (i.e. “we’re a young queer couple; I’m a neurodivergent person; I’m an immigrant/veteran/belong to X racial group”). It might seem like that would be helpful in certain areas, but sellers aren’t legally allowed to pick a buyer based on those things, so it ends up working against you.  You can talk about what you do as a job or as a hobby, if you’re an artist, if you’re a parent, if you have pets, if you know who else will be living int he house with you, etc. You can hint at things. But S was very clear with me about keeping it pretty general and about the house. -Once you’ve decided on the $$$ you’re offering, you need to decide if there’s anything else to add to “sweeten the pot.” For some people, that’s saying “my timeline is totally flexible, so if you need to close in a month that’s fine, and if you need to close in 4 months that’s fine.” A lot of people choose to waive inspections. -OHHHHHH Ye olde inspection. Dear God. -The inspection is basically a thing where you hire a professional to look at the house before you officially seal the deal, and they tell you if there are things you need to be concerned about. So if the inspector comes in and says “yeah this roof is going to cave in in a year,” you can use that in your negotiation and say “look, I’m going to lower my offer by $15K, because I will need a new roof in a year.” then it’s up to the seller to decide if they want to agree to that, or if they want to try again to find a buyer who hopefully would not get an inspection. -to “waive an inspection” means that you’re agreeing to skip this step -OK so my instinct was always “I will NEVER waive the inspection,” and a lot of people feel that way. HOWEVER, I did not get certain houses because the people who did offered exactly what I did and waived the inspection. There was a buyer who had made SEVENTEEN OFFERS and beat me out on a house, and they got that house after SEVENTEEN OTHER TRIES because they waived an inspection. -I did get an inspection with my house, which was lucky and also thanks to S being a great negotiator. -I waived it on one of my offers -I would say I’d be comfortable waiving an inspection if: 1. You or your realtor knows shit about buildings, codes, etc. S knew a lot, so was able to look at things like furnaces, windows, basement beams, foundations, etc etc. 2. The important parts of the house are easily visible. Usually this means an unfinished basement. if the basement is finished, you probably can’t see all the structural things you’d need to 3. You’re already planning to do a bunch of work on a house, so you’re offering a lower bid and budgeting to do renovations anyway -At the end of the day, it’s your call. More about inspections below. -Most people who buy houses have mortgages, meaning that they can’t just drop $250K on a house. However, some people got it like that, so they make what is called a cash offer. Cash offers will win out every time, because they are usually higher, are easier for the sellers, and will often waive inspections. Depending on your region and your budget, you may or may not see this. I got screwed SO MANY TIMES and so did my friends, by all-cash, no inspection offers. The majority of these are from people who are buying properties to rent out or Airbnb - they won’t live there so they don’t really care if it’s solid, and my budget range seemed to be about where rich people who don’t want to flip a house felt comfortable buying. It was annoying. -but hey if you got it like that, go for it. -Once you have all the terms of your offer figured out, your realtor will send you the official offer paperwork that you’ll sign (prob. digitally). Then they’ll send it over to the seller and be in charge of all that communication. If the seller comes back with a counter, or with questions, your realtor will bring that to you. They may advise you, but at the end of the day it is up to you what you’ll offer and what you’ll accept.

You got accepted!

-Holy cats, they said yes to your offer and your terms! This is a huge moment to celebrate! I cried! And obsessively looked at pictures of the house over and over -The seller may come back to you with some proposed adjustments. In my case they wanted to round the selling price up by $1K, which I agreed to. (IDK why they cared, but in the grand scheme that was fine). They also wanted to change some of the verbiage in the offer that didn’t actually affect anything. -The first thing you’ll need to do is put down the earnest money. That is usually held in a trust or something similar until closing. But basically, if you said you’d put down $5K of your own money in the offer, you have to prove you have it right away. So don’t offer to put down earnest money that you don’t have! -The higher this number, the more appealing your offer generally is -There are a lot of things that will need to wait until you close, so this period of time feels really weird -You’ll have a purchase agreement (along with any addendums or changes) that basically says “I’m Jay and I offer $XX, the seller agreed to the price and the terms, we’ll see how it goes from here and if it all goes well, this deal will go through” -I’m gonna say it now, don’t ask me about escrow. Escrow is basically like an account where money lives between you and the bank. You pay extra into this account so that if something happens and you can’t pay what you agreed, the bank still gets the money for a certain period of time. or something like that, I don’t know, it gives me a headache. I’m sure other people understand it better.

Next steps

Inspection -If you included an inspection in your offer/purchase agreement, you’ll want to set that up within a few days. (Don’t worry about booking “last minute,” inspectors pretty much always work on that kind of schedule. Very few people are booking inspectors weeks in advance. This was something I felt bad about, but it’s okay)

-Inspections are pricey, and usually have different packages that include different things. I chose to do the sewer scope bc I had a friend who found some crazy sewer issues and I didn’t want to deal with it. Your realtor can probably give you advice on what you might need. -Inspector look at a lot of things: all your systems (like heating, cooling, pipes, electricity, etc),  your windows, roof, foundation, gutters, attics, floors, plumping, appliances, etc. -They do NOT open walls/ceilings/floors, etc. So if it’s not visible, they won’t be able to report on it.  -They’ll send you a big ol’ report, and if you can be there with them they’ll do a walk through with you to talk over big issues. Your realtor should come to that as well, as they might have good questions. -After you have the information, you have to decide if there are any big issues that need to be addressed. The inspector will flag things that are a problem legally, but it’s up to you how much you care about them. Some will be easy fixes. Others might be deal breakers that mean you decide to walk away from the property entirely. Most things will be in the middle.  -Note that some things are legally “issues” but practically may not matter. There are certain outlets on the outside of my house that aren’t right, but I don’t intend to use them much and if it turns out I need to, it’s not that expensive to switch them out. My basement stairs are an absolutely death trap, but my laundry is upstairs and so i dont really need to use them much. I could spend like $4K to replace them, but I don’t care at this point, and it’s not a big issue for me. But legally they are terrible. -Some things may be an absolute problem that the seller needs to deal with before you’ll agree to by the house. -You and your realtor will come up with a list of things you want to tell the seller to fix before closing. They might fight you on some of them, and again that’s why the realtor being a good negotiator matters. -Generally, you want to ask for fixes on the important things, without asking for every little thing, so the seller doesn’t decide you’re too much trouble and they could probably back out and get a better offer that wouldn’t cost them as much in repairs. -for me, the garage door was busted so they defnitely needed to fix that. There was a pipe that was put in wrong that was a quick fix. And there were birds in the attic, so they needed to clear those out and go through and block up all the entry points in the room. All of these requests were reasonable, and the sellers agreed to them. -At this point, it’s up to you if you want to pay for a re-inspection (i.e. the inspector coming back to verify that they did all the work they were supposed to). I didn’t—instead I had them give me all the receipts from the work that was done along with photos and video of the work. That way if something is a problem in the future, I can contact the companies that did the work and take advantage of warranties, etc.

Home Service Warranty -Speaking of warranties! There’s a thing called a Home Service Warranty that you’ll need to decide on. Mine is through American Home Shield. Basically this is a warranty that covers things in your house. There are different levels of coverage, so some just cover the big things like windows/roof/furnace/water heater/etc. As you upgrade, it’ll include things like stoves, fridges, dishwashers, etc. -If you’re getting your own warranty, you basically pay a certain amount per month for the coverage. Then if any of the covered things break down, it get’s fixed for free (plus a small service charge. For me that’s $125). So if your inspector tells you “hey, you’ve got about a year left on this water heater” or “the furnace has some issues that might come up in a few years” you could save a BUNCH of money by having this coverage. -My realtor got this warranty included in my purchase agreement, so the seller is actually paying for a. year of my coverage at he upgraded level. This is SICK AS HELL and not every realtor will think of it—definitely mention it to yours. I didn’t even think of it as an option. Basically what this means is that if any of my stuff breaks this first year, I can get it replaced for very cheap AND I don’t even have to pay the monthly coverage fee. -When I moved in, my shower was broken. I tried to fix it, but the called AHS and I only paid $125 for a plumber to come look at it, order parts (which would have been pricey since my house is pretty old), and fix it for me. I hate my fridge, so I have a goal to break it this year so I can get a new one for free.

Appraisal -Okay, so you got the seller to agree to your fixes, everything is moving apace. It is time for the GOD DAMN APPRAISAL -(for many people, the appraisal is fine and is not GOD DAMN anything. For me, it was a nightmare and I didn’t sleep for like 2 weeks) -Okay so what is an appraisal. Basically, the seller said “my house is worth $XX” you said “I’ll pay $XX for it.” Your lender said “we’ll give Jay a loan for $XX.” But now someone else has to look at the house and determine if it’s a fair price for the house. This is what really determines the loan you’ll get (this is also why what you’ve gotten so far is a pre-approval. They’ve basically said “you’re capable of paying back a loan of $XX, but we need an outside agency to determine if this house is worth is”) -The appraiser will look at the house, inspection reports, and other sales of similar houses in your area. Ideally, this helps them determine if the price you and the seller have agreed on is in line with what is reasonable. -Banks are not going to give you a $400K loan on a potting shed in a ditch -It’s all complicated and this is where a lot of shit in the Housing Crisis came from -Basically, you want the appraisal to come at or higher than your purchase price. (if it comes in higher, do a little dance bc you got a deal) -If it comes in lower, you can be in trouble. That’s what happened to me. -A note about rules & regs - lenders cannot talk directly to appraisers. This is because of the housing crisis and all the shady backroom deals that were happening (i.e. if you appraise this house at this price, we’ll give you Mr. Appraiser Guy some kickbacks from the extra money we’re making in mortgage interest or whatever). In practical terms, this means it takes FOREVER to get messages to all the parties involved.  -If the appraisal comes in low, you can ask for a reappraisal. It’s up to the appraiser if they agree. There are rules about this. -What Happened To Me: OK so my house is in a historically Black and immigrant neighborhood (read, historically redlined). This means a lot of the properties here are undervalued based on other locations. In a hot market, even undervalued properties can go up in price in a big way. In a slow market, that doesn’t happen so much. My appraiser only wanted to pull comps (meaning comparable sales of similar houses in the same area) in my exact neighborhood. However, there hadn’t been any sales of similar size/age/etc houses in my exact neighborhood since last winter. Guess what the market is like in the winter in Minnesota! Fucking SLOW boy. So these comps were coming in like $20K lower than my agreed price. So my realtor and lender took a look and said “look, if we widen out a little bit to these nearby neighborhoods, we can see all these more recent sales that are closer to our price.” It took two weeks of back and forth to get the appraiser to agree to add some of these comps to the appraisal. He was really reluctant to look outside my immediate area, because my neighborhood is of “lower value” than the surrounding areas. Structural racism, baby. Not against me, but against my neighbors and everyone who’s lived in this area for the past 150 years. Hooray. Finally, I got a re-appraisal that was $8K lower than my purchase price. So I was in a pickle. I had an agreement with the seller saying I’ll pay $XX, while the bank is now saying “we’ll only give you a loan for $XX-minus-$8K.” So either I need to come up with $8K MORE of a down payment in earnest money, or I need the purchase price to go down. Or i need to find more assistance. HERE IS WHERE HAVING S MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. He went to the seller and basically used his status and significant experience to say “Look, you can either agree to lower the purchase price by $8K, or we all walk away. If we walk away, this means you have to re-list the house, wait for more offers. And then even if you get an offer as good as or better than Jay’s, that person will still need to go through the appraisal process. So...  you’ll probably be right back here. The only chance you have of skipping appraisal is if someone comes in with a cash offer, meaning they won’t need a loan and no bank is involved. But for a lot of the reasons the appraisal is low, those types of buyers (who often want rentals/vacation rental properties) ain’t looking to buy in this neighborhood.”

(or that’s what I imagine he said. It was probably smarter)

ANYWAY, all that to say a MIRACLE occurred, and the seller agreed to lower the purchase price of the house by $8K. I can tell you the whole story of how I found out over a drink sometime, but let me tell you I wepttttttt

-Anyhow, once the appraisal is good and you’re pretty sure the deal is going through, you gotta get insurance. call a bunch of places, figure out what coverage you need, see if it’s cheaper or easier to put car/life/etc in the same place. You have to have insurance if you have a home loan - basically the bank owns the house, so it’s in their interest to have it covered in case of disaster.

Closing

-I’m going to be quick on this, because it’s super technical and I only kind of understand it. -Closing is basically the day where you sign all the paperwork, after which the house is yours! Then you can start moving, renovating, decorating, whatever you want. -One of the things that’s part of closing is the Title and Title Insurance. Basically, you need to pay to have the paper that says you own the house, and then you have to pay for insurance on that piece of paper. Why. IDK.  -At this point there’s so many random fees and charges, I just kind of looked at the totals and made sure nothing was way out of range of what I expected.  -A few days before closing, you should have the following: 1. receipts/evidence from any fixes made to the house or a re-inspection report 2. Closing disclosures, which basically means any information that’s attatched to the deed for the home. This can include unpaid property taxes, any weird liens on the property, any easement agreements with neighbors you should know about, etc. 3. All the paperwork you will sign! -It is in your best interest to read ALL OF IT if you can. (the title person was surprised I’d read mine, which I found super worrying lol) -If you are buying a house by yourself, you will not BELIEVE how many times you will read “Jay, A SINGLE PERSON, is buying a house ALONE AND BY THEMSELF, as a SINGLE UNMARRIED ALONE PERSON” Very judgy. What are you, my grandma? -One thing about disclosures—it’s up to your title company to do research on weird shit that might be attached to your property. You can technically choose your title company, but I wouldn’t not recommend looking for the cheapest option if the company doesn’t have much of a track record. I had an issue come up with a payment the seller owed that was delayed, and my title company had to be the one that caught that. My friend and his husband got in trouble because some seller 5 years ago didn’t pay property taxes, and so the IRS came for THEM. The title company should have caught that before they closed and had it dealt with. They won’t end up paying it, but it’s a huge pain and they have to argue with the IRS which is never fun. -On closing day, you’ll do a final walk through with your realtor. This is your last chance to bring up any issues! You DEFINITELY want to do this walk through. If the seller left the door unlocked and an entire family has taken up residence in the living room, you need to know! If the contractor they hired to fix the plumbing knocked a new whole in the wall, you need to know! Don’t expect that the seller will tell you about any new issues that they caused. -This is your last chance to say “Hey, there’s a new major issue that wasn’t reporting, i ain’t signing shit until we re-negotiate” -If you find yourself in this situation (hopefully you won’t!) PLEASE don’t be afraid to say something! Don’t worry about how much time and money has already been put into it, or about calling out a seller who is acting in bad faith or fucked somethign up. This is your house! It matters! And your realtor should have your back. -But most of the time, the final walk through is fine! Then you go somewhere to sign all the paperwork. If you’re like me and have 3 different types of DPA, it will be two giant folders worth of paperwork.  -Once you sign the paperwork with the Title Company, they’ll put the paperwork through. After that happens, the bank should transfer the whole ass agreed amount to the seller. Also, if your DPA is in the form of other smaller loans from other sources, those should be paying to the seller at the same time. -in MY case, one of my DPAs took 3 hours to process for some reason, so I had the most anti-climactic closing ever. I signed everything, waited for an hour and a half, and then they were like “you can go, we’ll email you when you officially own the house” So I just awkwardly hung around and ate pancakes until I got the email. -Let’s say you have a relative who wants to help you out with your downpayment (Yay! Every little bit counts!) Or let’s say you’re living with someone who doesn’t want the house to be in their name, but they want to contribute to these initial costs. You’ll want to talk to your lender about this as soon as you know about it. There is special paperwork for “gifts” that basically let’s it go directly to you downpayment but it doesn’t count towards your income. So if Grandma Bob says “I got $10K for you” and you just deposit the check in your account and plan to pay $10K more in earnest money, that will suddenly look like you have $10K more money to your name, so might change how your loan and DPA shake out. But if you get Grandma Bob to sign a particular document and give you a certified check, you can just give that right to the Title person and it goes right to making your downpayment bigger, therefore making your loan smaller! Thanks Grandma Bob! -”Cash to close” is essentially what you are paying at closing via all sources. So that’s your downpayment (including all assistance) any gifts, your earnest money, etc. Sometimes you have additional closing costs. They may be covered by DPA, or you may be on the hook to write an additional check. You’ll know this in advance. -Hey, check it out, you own a house now! -(keep all your paperwork0 -They’ll give you a document you have the file with the city called Homestead filing, basically telling the city that you own a house and you live there.

NOW WHAT?

-Now I’m done telling you things. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more, but also talk to professionals in your region who know things. -I started writing this post before I closed in July 2023. It’s now mid-November, and I’ve been living here for 3 months. Here’s some stuff I’ve learned that might be helpful: 1. It’s good to know what kid of walls you have (drywall vs. plaster and lathe, etc) because that determines how you can hang things on them. Also if you have plaster walls, just get a cheap magnetic stud finder. The fancy electronic ones often don’t work 2. It’s good to have a drill. It just is. 3. If there’s a big project you need done (say your garage is too short for your goddamn car), you may qualify for a home improvement loan from the same kind of orgs that give DPA. I’m doing it just because I don’t want to drop $3K in one go. Technically I have 4 years to pay it off, but I’m going to make larger monthly payments and pay it offer quicker than that.  4. We can talk about contractors and permit and zoning all day. Suffice to say, it’s good to look up who to talk to at the city about construction permits, and they can be both incredibly confusing and very nice. Often at the same time. 5. If you’re gonna have a roommate or partner or non-child family member who is paying you monthly to help with the mortgage, DRAW UP A LEASE. You want shit in writing, and they have rights as tenants that need to be respected. Many a relationship has been saved by PUTTING SHIT IN WRITING. (there are templates you can find) 6. FEELINGS: People always tell you “You won’t know how you feel about X until you do it.” Getting a dog, moving away from your folks, living with a partner, whatever. I am here as an old man to tell you, they are right. I had no idea I would have such BIG FEELINGS about this lil old house. When I come home and my roommate has the lights on and it has a glow, I feel so much that sometimes I cry! Setting things up, making decisions about organization, learning how to be in my space, means so so much more to me now than it ever did when I was renting. The stress is greater, too, because I have to make all the decisions! It’s exhausting! But every day in my house I am so happy to be here, I’m so glad my other offers weren’t accepted, because this is the best of the houses I looked at. It is my 117 year old baby and I love it forever.

Also I never want to do this again lol I’ve decided to die here.

#home buying #not really advice but kind of #per request

[gay-sin]

Severance, flip phones, far from home: the impossibility of opting out 

I finished Severance by Ling Ma about a week ago. I loved it so much. I am not in school anymore and I am having a hard time trying to fulfill my desire for intellectual conversation. It’s not like I’m not learning anymore. I’m learning so much. These days, I am filling in the gaps of my learning in the sections of life that I chose to put off while prioritizing academia. I’m learning to take care of myself, complete tasks, hold myself accountable, and generally survive. It is hard and I miss the conversations I would have in school that felt like they truly challenged and deepened my worldview. Reading has been a great solace to me in that way but it often feels lonely to read something and not get to discuss it with others. I can never simply read or watch something without wanting to dig in and discuss the implications. I like to use fiction to interrogate real things. I have so many thoughts about Severance and what it had me thinking about in my own life as I read it. I decided to write it down to at least converse with myself as I did so. I'm posting it online to see if anyone would want to engage in conversation with me as well. It is not in MLA or whatever. I’m not in school. I can write how I want. 

I think that the title of Severance is very layered. On the surface, it references the phenomenon of severance checks (payments given to terminated employees that are fired due to layoffs or retirement). The payments are based on the amount of time that an employee has worked for the company. Effectively, it aims to take care of the people that have taken care of the company until they can find new work. Severance describes how companies have cut long-term employees and these checks in order to maximize profits at the cost of minimizing quality. This seems to echo a larger trend that the novel revolves around: a cutting off (or severance) from our interconnectivity under our current systems of hetero-patriarchal white supremacist colonial capitalism. What a mouthful. But basically… Society is severing us from the things that make living meaningful, and for many, possible. 

The characters of the book all seem to be struggling with the desire to opt out of this system (who wouldn't want that?) The narrator, Candace, immigrated to Salt Lake City from Fuzhou as a child. This severance from her ancestry, culture, and family was done in aims of giving her a better life in the United States. In many ways, it was an action done by her parents in order to attempt to opt out of the struggles of life in Fuzhou, made increasingly difficult under global capitalism. Even so, the choice was really just opting into a new set of struggles. The book describes the complex effects of this immigration on Candace and her family. In addition, it describes the guilt of leaving and the burden of feeling as if you are in a country that despises you while you must constantly prove yourself to it.

Candace’s ex-boyfriend felt dehumanized by the working in corporate America and therefore lives on the fringes of the system, skimping by. He believes himself to be opting out of the system. In this quote, Candace interrogates his lifestyle.

“I know you too well. You live your life idealistically. You think it’s possible to opt out of the system. No regular income, no health insurance. You quit jobs on a dime. You think this is freedom but I still see the bare, painstakingly cheap way you live, the scrimping and saving, and that is not freedom either. You move in circumscribed circles. You move peripherally, on the margins of everything, pirating movies and eating dollar slices. I used to admire this about you, how fervently you clung to your beliefs—I called it integrity—but five years of watching you live this way has changed me. In this world, money is freedom. Opting out is not a real choice” (205).

The illusion of opting out is a privilege. Jonathan, unlike Candance, is American. This gives him the ability to exist in America without questioning or proving his belonging. He does not carry the weight of supporting his family or really anyone but himself. Even so, he barely manages that. Candace, not afforded many of Jonathan's privileges, works for in a corporate office. Jonathan, idealistic and blind to his own advantages, is consistently criticizing this choice.

I have always had dreams of opting out. I've spent much of my life dreaming of this. I think that part of why I went to college was to opt out of joining the workforce for four more years. I studied art because it seemed like that would be opting out of the monotony of having a Real Job. I bought a flip phone to opt out of smartphone addiction. I moved across the country to opt out of my family. 

Severance depicts a world-ending incurable pandemic. The illness is called Shen Fever and it is somewhat akin to a zombie apocalypse without the eating of humans. The sickness comes for everyone, even if it does demolish the areas with the least privileges first. In the end, everyone is susceptible. You cannot opt out. You cannot buy your way out of an incurable disease. 

You cannot buy your way out of climate change, even if you can avoid its consequences for longer. Sure, you may be privileged enough to be given the illusion of opting out but this planet is deeply, densely interconnected. You are not opting out. You are delaying the inevitable. 

Over the summer, I went to an anarchist bookstore in Philadelphia and bought a book called Meaningful Flesh: Reflections on Religion and Nature for a Queer Planet. I would read the essays on my breaks from work, trying to see if I could be someone that reads academic theory in my free time. It ended up being very dense and difficult to get through but it was incredibly interesting to me. I was reminded of the second essay of the text when reading Severance. It is called, “Irreverent Theology: On the Queer Ecology of Creation” by Jacob J. Erikson. The essay aims to queer our ideas of nature and matter with a theological lens. That is a massive oversimplification of the text but I don’t want to stray too much from my original point here. I just wanted to include a quote from the essay to gesture to how these concepts in Severance have resonances in so many areas of life.

 “For this particular nature-cultural moment, we must be irreverent of old stories and ideas in our constructive creativity. Ideas of pristine nature, untouched wilderness, essential selves, essential genders, and uncomplicated assumptions of desire and sexuality, deaden and violate the messy and embodied realities of creativity, embodied ecology, and enfleshed divinity” (74).

Collectively, we have attempted to sever ourselves from the environment that we are interwoven with, dependent on, and constantly in conversation with. The consequences are far-reaching and the effort is inevitably futile. You cannot sever yourself from the environment that sustains you. You are the environment.

On Saturday, I took an Uber home from my friend’s house and chatted with the driver. We talked about daylight savings and how stupid it is. Why make the sun go down sooner? I wish I could opt out of it, but then I’d be an hour early to every event from now until spring. I told him that I thought that the government was supposed to get rid of this system but apparently they were too busy committing genocides. We talked about Palestine and how clear it is that what is happening is devastating but how some people still blindly support Israel. We agreed that people have lost a fundamental part of their humanity: a severance from the part of themselves that sees innocent people dying and is devastated and outraged. In America, we have the choice to participate in these colonial ideologies,  push against them, or to not have an opinion (to “opt out"). It is an American privilege, the illusion of opting out of mass murder. None of us are separate from this conflict. Our tax dollars are being spent on the weapons that do the killing.

I am a white American. I have a large array of privileges that give me the illusions of choice. But at the end of the day, none of my choices have truly opted me out. At the end of the day, these severances have only handicapped me in other ways. I have gotten lost and missed appointments that I could have simply typed into Google Maps on a smartphone. I walked to urgent care by myself when I could have called my mom to pick me up if I didn’t move so far away. I carry the debt of my art degree and I will be making monthly payments from now until forever. I don’t have enough money to get out of an unhealthy living situation.  How free am I? How much have I opted out? You can opt out and be crushed by the weight of what it means to be alone, still dependent and existent within the system you’ve supposedly broken out of. But if you opt in, do you get sucked in? What choice is there?

“To live in a city is to take part in and to propagate its impossible systems. To wake up. To go to work in the morning. It is also to take pleasure in those systems because, otherwise, who could repeat the same routines, year in, year out?” (290).

In Severance, the fevered mindlessly repeat patterns. Their condition is an identifiable sickness. Yet, at the same time, Ma also gestures to the fact that it is not too different from the condition that we all share. Our daily repetition, often mindless, trying to find pleasure. The condition one must adopt to survive in this world. The sickness is not individual, it is collective. The cure is not individual, it is collective.

My coworker is moving home across the country after moving away from his family many years ago. He told me about how stressful the process has been for him. I could relate a lot to what he had said. The unsustainability of not having family closeby. The feeling of - what am I proving? The unsustainable nature of being alone and the sometimes equally unsustainable nature of family. Every choice seems to be a choice to sever yourself from one thing or sever yourself from another. Either way, the choice is rarely to come together. The deeper we just get into becoming a mess of severed pieces. 

I got a flip phone back in 2021 when I took a year off from college. At the time, I had fallen headfirst into a lot of the crushing realities that I had never really wanted to face. I was back home living with my family. I was coming to terms with my health, my sexuality, my lack of funds, my place in the world. I was cut off from my illusions of Making it Big and was faced with what Making it Small would entail. I was trying to shoulder the weight of the world that seemed to slowly be collapsing. I got a flip phone as an experiment, to see if I could do it, to see what it would feel like.  I wanted to know what it would be like to have to figure things out on my own, to be in silence, to be present in the moment that I was in. I wanted to stop opting out of being alive. 

About a month ago, I switched back to my smartphone on a whim. To see if I could, to see what it would feel like. It hasn’t solved anything. It hasn’t cured me. It has made my life easier in a lot of ways but harder in others. I miss the way I could walk around with a built-in excuse as to why I had not seen your email. I liked not having the pressure of every piece of knowledge at my constant disposal. I miss the way I felt I could walk around the world without trying to sever myself from it. I would walk in silence instead of trying to impose some soundtrack onto my reality, the soundtrack of the life I’d rather live.

#severance #ling ma #flip phone #essay #personal essay #literature #writing

[helianbot]

Theres been a lot of stuff going on in my personal life that I haven’t really opened up about because I felt bad about it, I’m not really sure why in hindsight but it’s finally over now so I can share

(Prepare for the yap session of a century)

Back in November, my boyfriend’s dad’s partner (who I’ll refer to as B) offered me a job to be her personal assistant and carer, she deals with MS alongside some other chronic illnesses and wanted me to take the job because she knows and trusts me.

I thought this was a fantastic oppurtunity because at the time, I had just left a job that was negatively impacting my mental health (customer service on the phone, I’ll leave it at that) and also to do such a rewarding job with someone I care so much about made me happy.

We both figured the process would be over and done with quickly seeing as in the UK, the need for carers and PAs is sky high and holy fuck, how wrong we were.

Immediately the beginning process had red flags, I would call people in the service who would direct me to other people who would direct me to different people and it was like I was running in circles, and I felt guilty having to ask for B’s help because she’s already chronically ill, she needs me to help her but were in this situation of I can’t help her if she can’t help me and it was just a mess.

Around this time I had moved in with my boyfriend so we could get this stuff sorted out easier and faster, I had to move from the North of the UK to the South where my boyfriend, his dad and B lives.

We had all figured this would have been sorted in two weeks, again, how fucking wrong we were!

For a service that says they need people to become carers, they sure make it basically impossible to do! This is a job that doesn’t actually require formal training or certification in my country, it’s recommended but definitely not required unless working with specific clientele (I took it upon myself to train though as it’s the right thing to do, I don’t have experience with MS and also B has had random symptoms and illnesses sprung up on her as well, she goes blind out of nowhere sometimes and has even had a seizure once)

These two weeks turned into three months and in these three months, I’ve been in a mad panic with my boyfriend to be able to pay our bills such as my car insurance, phone contract, food, necessities

On top of this I got fined up to my eyeballs because the parking situation in the city I currently live in is quite frankly bullshit, like I get it but at the same time I really don’t lmao, I racked up £200+ worth of fines because the council wouldn’t give me a permit I paid for even after providing all of the necessary documents

I did try and find a job in a meantime but nobody wanted to hire me, I was on this shit almost every day for two and a half months and I wasn’t even given a rejection email or phone call, just ignored

I tried to advertise my commissions and I did get some but not nearly enough to cover everything I needed paying, I have friends who were also in financial difficulty open commissions who I also badly wanted to support but literally couldn’t and I felt awful

This whole time I just spent all my time drawing and writing, I had nothing else I could do, I did it because I wanted to and love sharing my art and still do! but I also did it in hopes it would garner some recognition and help me get some commissions - in no way did I want to shove this down people’s throats though and I didn’t want to provide a sob story for a situation I technically got myself into, it wasn’t entirely my fault but I should have been more prepared and less naive

I didn’t want to tell my parents, I didn’t want to admit defeat, I wanted my parents to be proud of me and to not have to worry about their adult kid.

I’m 24, man, I felt so embarrassed about still needing my parents support and in no way do I give people shit for that, I just personally felt ashamed about it considering I had told them I had finally gotten a job that could support me and none of it had actually gone through yet

They ended up finding out because I fine I got that I didn’t know about got sent to their house and I hadn’t paid it so I was being threatened with going to court, I eventually broke down and admitted everything

An hour long conversation on the phone with my mam in tears, I thought she was going to be so angry at me and to my surprise, she wasn’t

We talked it out and we have a plan, I’m going to be going back home for a bit while we sort this all out, I’m so relieved I don’t have to be living a lie to them anymore and my financial situation is no longer in run around, shit yourself and panic mode

The weight that has been lifted feels insane right now

#rigby rambles #delete later maybe

[juneviews]

Hi Axelle! Big fan of your channel btw, I watch your video about IPYTM just to get mad sometimes(my resentment towards that show is astronomical).

I've always wanted to move abroad, Seoul being the goal but I want to keep my options open. I know you have several videos about living in Thailand but I'd really love to hear more about your experience. Quality of life, language barrier, weather, expenses, xenophobia, visas, housing, pests, healthcarejob opportunities basically anything! Thank you so so much🙏🏻

Hope you have a fabulous New Year 🎊♥️

hi, thank you so much it means a lot! 🥰 glad to know someone hates ipytm as much as I do lmaooo! ok so let me do it point by point!

quality of life: much higher than living in france. rent is like 4x cheaper for way newer buildings with great amenities such as a pool & a gym, I can order food every day without breaking the bank, and bkk is such a lively city there's always so many cool things to do there for not crazy expensive! I would NEVER be able to afford my lifestyle here in bkk if I was back in paris, and the hot weather also makes it so I don't suffer from seasonal depression which is HUGE!

language barrier: I'm the only foreigner I know who speaks thai, and my foreigner friends have no trouble getting around relying on english. bangkok is one of the most expat-friendly cities ever imo!

weather: the weather is extremely hot in thailand, very humid & also it rains a lot and rainy season is no joke. however I prefer this weather over the french weather bc the sunlight we get everyday no matter the season is 12 hours a day, which is huge when in paris we can go from 14 hours of sunlight in summer, to only 6 in winter. again, really helped with my seasonal depression. also, I can go to my building's pool year round lol! the heat is not for everyone, but personally I feel like I'm on vacation year round & it has done wonders for my mental health!

expenses: as I said, bangkok is much cheaper than paris. however, with thailand's economic boom in recent decades, it's not dirt cheap either like the idea many people had like 10 or 20 years ago. the biggest thing where I really save the most money is rent, but transport is actually more expensive than paris, and imported things are unbelievably expensive. still, I live a very comfortable lifestyle with 800 euros a month, whereas to live the same exact lifestyle in france I'd need like 2000 euros.

xenophobia: there is barely any xenophobia in thailand. in fact, I'd argue that there is a romanticization of foreigners here, especially white ones. however, there are a lot of barriers to being a foreigner in thailand. getting the citizenship seems relatively hard, getting a job as a foreigner is unbelievably hard since the business visa needs to be renewed every 2 months which annoys employers, if you start your business in thailand, you can only own 49% of your own business while a thai person owns the majority, etc. most of the difficulties are legal & related to immigration, but thai people don't discriminate against foreigners. however, they will always tend to see you as a tourist & will try to scam you way more than a thai person, no matter how long you live in thailand... as expressed in videos, as a foreigner, you'll never be seen as a thai citizen, even if you spend your entire life in thailand, and that sucks...

visas: they're hell. as said before, business visas are like the shortest in the world, you can't have that many tourist visas, and the only visas that are easy to obtain are study visas (bc you pay a lot), or retirement visas that last 10 YEARS (bc they pay a lot.) however, thailand seems to slowly be relaxing its visa system, so there's hope.

housing: very easy to find something cheap, I found my 2 apartments in under 2 weeks each time, whereas it'd take me months in paris for a shittier place.

pests: first apartment had lizards, new one has insects...

healthcare: no healthcare as a tourist unless you got an insurance. now that I'm a student at the most prestigious thai uni, I have a lot of free services with the related hospital & health center. I also bought my own insurance so I'm pretty much safe. still is shocking coming from a country with completely free healthcare lol.

job opportunities: finding jobs as a foreigner is AWFUL & idk how I'm gonna find one once I graduate lol, I hope my professors can help me 😅

hope that helped, & I hope you get to do everything you're setting out to do 💜 happy new year ✨️

xxx

#answers #axelle goes to thailand #thailand

[wawamouse]

Oz Rewatch 3: S3E02: Napoleon’s Boney Parts

Plotlines

With Metzger dead, Murphy arrives as the replacement; McManus proposes Murphy help organize an inmate boxing match

(mini) Cyril is vulnerable to the Aryan’s provocations

Kenny’s new name is Brick; Snake confesses his crime to Augustus; Augustus gathers more info to help turn Snake in

Riot lawsuit; McManus tries to get Said to drop it; After meeting with Patricia Ross, Said wants to fast. When he’s denied, he threatens a hunger strike

Diane and Claire beef; Howell v McManus smackdown

Carlo Ricardo’s family slowly stops visiting; Hughes, just transferred to Em City, fails to control Carlo during a fight

(mini) Shirley loses her lawyer

(mini) Schillinger phone visit with his dad

Keller leaves PC; Toby doesn’t forgive him; someone stabs Keller in the closet

Adebisi transfers to the AIDs ward and infects Nappa with infected blood

Rebadow has diabetes; Gloria is fired by Dr Garvey after their interview; Mukada brings a sandwich to a starving Miguel; Sister Pete starts her inmate-victim counseling program; Mukada wants Miguel to be the first candidate; Miguel attempts suicide

The “Napoleon’s Boney Parts” mystery has been solved: The narrator quotes Napoleon throughout the monologues and Miguel gets guillotined in a monologue at the end (although I don't think Napoleon's time was particularly known for guillotining, it was still being used).

I feel like this season, I've had less of a big takeaway after watching each episode. I don't thin it's so much that I have less thoughts about the episodes compared to before, but after season 1 and to an extent, season 2, I think the themes of each episode aren’t as strong. The plot of things continues to interweave, but I feel like it’s a little more like “things happen”. I can see it more with the way I write out the list of plots, too—they’re harder to summarise.

This episode seemed like another early-season filler episode. Sister noted that it seemed like the boxing thing didn’t go anywhere this episode, which is a funny observation from a first time viewer, considering how much this season revolves around the boxing match. Kind of eeeh this episode. Nothing super terrible happens but I can’t think of anything that stands out. Miguel’s storyline, I guess? I kind of also like Adebisi's revenge storyline. I find it interesting, anyway, but probably more so because I find fresh-out-of-the-psych-ward!Adebisi interesting. In this episode, of course, we see that Adebisi's change isn't as complete as it seemed.

Sister: He looks so evil, like a serial killer… He looks like a doctor who misdiagnoses people… I think he might’ve been in an episode of Law and Order as a misdiagnosing doctor…

Sister: Why don’t you do rodeo then?! Me: I’d watch that.

Hubris

Me: That would noooot motivate me. Sister: Yeah, well, we’re also not in a gang, Wawa. We’d be the little weasels eating popcorn on the sidelines.

Me & Sister: [cackling wildly]

Arif and Khan’s after school special

Sister: Is McManus the Napoleon because he’s short and has two ladies? I don’t get why she’s so desperate for a prison hubby. I mean, they don’t get paid that much and they’re also both high risk so their health insurance premiums are probably really high, and then if they get married, they’re not going to be able to get very good life insurance probably… (silence) Are there any good women in this show? Me: Uuuh Sister Pete? Sister: Yeah, but she’s stupid. When the plot needs her to be, she’s like “Huuuuuuur oK i’M SisTer PetE, i DoN’T tHink AboUt ThiNgs…” Me: Does Gloria not count as a good lady? Sister: No. She’s like “I hate this job but it’s important” and meanwhile she’s completely incompetent. Doesn’t even know about blood types. That guy (Rivera) will do that inmate-victim thing and he’ll tell Miguel, “you know, what you did to me was awful, but what was even worse was that during my time of need, they didn’t send me to a more equipped facility and were only looking for blood types that did not matter”. And then they’ll bond over their shared experience with the failed healthcare system. Me: I guess there's not really anyone, then. There's a secretary character later that I like, but she's just there to support one plot point and then she disappears. Sister: Shannon...

Sister: I have never seen this guy before Me: He was in the show last episode Sister: Oh right, he’s the one who kept asking about his mom. He looks different. He wasn’t wearing a hat last time? Me: He literally never takes off his hat…

Sister: Doesn’t he have a life sentence? Wouldn’t it be interesting if they had like a serial killer guy who worked in that ward and decided to steal stuff to infect other people? (later) Sister: I’m so good at this. They should hire me.

Sister: Why would he bring a big ass peanut butter sandwich? A) DRY, B) you can smell peanut butter from a mile away

Sister: That’s a terrible idea.

Sister: (sneezes three times in a row) My bullshit detector…

Stray Thoughts:

Our dad kept calling us while we were watching this episode to talk about taxes 😭

The narrator stood up in the opening monologue….

Sister suspects that Murphy is evil; she has a conspiracy that Murphy (because he’s evil) will end up with Howell and Tim will end up with Diane again… and Murphy and Howell will be serial killers.

Why do they have so much printer paper in the supply closet at Oz?

Beecher’s facial hair was weird this episode. No mustache??

Sister: We didn’t see the biker dude (Jaz) this episode...

Sister also observed that El Cid was missing this episode. I don't think she gives a shit about Carlo Ricardo which ok yeah, he's sort of a character that blips on and then off my radar. I don't think I have much of an opinion about his arc for some reason. It just happens and then it's like... OK... I guess I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I think the main thing is that Carlo doesn't have a discernible personality so when things happen to him, as a viewer, I feel like "oh that's too bad" but it's not like I feel bad for the character.

#oz hbo #oz rewatch #text

[cowboyjen68]

Hi! I am a lesbian about to graduate and go off to college (I hope it’s okay I’m sending this). And was wondering if you had advice on safely navigating a new area as an lgbtq person, and how to not feel alone. I was lucky to grow up surrounded by accepting people, but I still feel like a sore thumb, and I am naturally a quiet unapproachable person. My fear is that I will go right back into hiding and maybe never stop. People say that it’ll be fine but it’s hard to believe them. I’m terrified.

It is ALWAYS ok to send me Ask. I say thay are always open and I mean it. I try very hard to get to them but right now I am behind and it truly bugs me. But we do what we can when we can and I am no exception to that rule.

I went to college is a small Missouri town, moving from a small midwest high school. Luckily it was pretty chill and liberal so while I met a lot of LGBT friends (or those exploring the notion) I was not ready to come out until after graduation. I had just moved to Iowa CIty to be closer to home and work and go to grad school. U of I is HUGE and sprawling and I was workng a new job (political fundraiser ie door knocker) that paid the bills AND gave me health insurance. It was 1991.

Even though I am outgoing and make friends easily it was a bit over whelming. I happen to move in with 5 gay men from my job and they introduced me to their world and friends. I had an "in" that eventually led me to have a larger friend circle. BUT here is my advice

FInd something you are interested in and join it. Theatre, yoga, Sci Fi, animal rescue volunteering. It does not have to be an offical club nor LGBT Centric. It also does not need to require a lot of time or money. Freshman year is a over whelming and exciting but making the time to do something you enjoy with others who enjoy it is a good way to at least form a circle of familiar faces around campus. Sad to say EVEN back in the 90's the "gay groups" I did attend (as an ally of course) were clique and awkward for me. I felt like the infringing new person. I hope that has changed, but I have my doubts.

There are some groups and activities that will have a concentration of LGBT people without that being the focus. Theatre, animal rescue, environmental, politics (be wary of echo chambers) and some intramural sports. Volley ball and softball, even coed will have a fair share of lesbians. But so might gaming clubs or frisbee golf. Dont forget about book clubs or Sci fi or Ren Fest groups. Once you make some connections with other who share some common ground with you, you might gain some confidence it making friends in the more narrow LGBT social or official groups.

What is really more important that a large friend group is a few people you can trust and get to know. Once you leave college many of your college friends will naturally navigate out of your life. That is normal and expected because it a time in life of drastic change and growth. But if you find that one or two who will be worth hanging on to you can work less on many people and put your energy into someone who does the same for ou. IF you befriend an extravert that is a bonus because she will make tsure you have social interactions whether you want them or not.

College people are just high schoolers a year or two down the road. Just people. Like you. Say "hello" and smile and ask to sit and chat. The worst they can say is "no" or "im not interested" but more often you will make at least an acquaintance . A familar face to see on campus as time moves on. Or you make a friend worth getting to know.

#college #friends

[morgenlich]

can i ask what resources you used for info on moving to europe? its something im considering and i have been doing research myself, but a lot of good advice was on reddit and im not really sure if reddit is still usable.

well, first i'll say that most of reddit is still usable to me so don't lose hope on that front!

there's not a lot of advice i can give in general, only wrt moving to germany because that's where i'm going specifically so i've been doing So Much reading the past few months from official govt sites more than anything else--tho regardless of what country you want to move to, govt sites with info on immigration are a good starting point.

tldr, more details under the cut:

-you're gonna need housing and health insurance

-you're gonna need to look into visas/residency permits (visas are for entry into the country, if you're from the US or Canada you probably won't need one) and their specific requirements

-ur nearest consulate is going to be a good source of info and point of contact

the first things, imo, that you need to know are:

1 do you need a visa to get in (if so, what kind, what are the requirements, etc)

2 steps for establishing a residency permit once you're there

and getting all your ducks in a row on those fronts (often the visa and residency permit will have the same requirements as each other from what i've noticed, though as a US citizen i haven't paid much attention because i don't require a visa to enter the vast majority of european countries). this is all info that will be available on official websites, including consulate/embassy sites. it may be helpful to start out looking for info on the site of the relevant consulate website, they will often include links to further resources, or just shoot them an email with questions you have if you can't find answers there.

but important questions for these:

-is there a language requirement? for example, in germany, to be able to work you need to be at a B1 level of german on the CEFR scale. C1 is required for university admissions. etc.

--is there a possibility of a language learner's visa/permit if you're not at that level? what are the requirements for that? (again with germany as an example: you will not be allowed to have a job while you have this residency permit and therefore must prove to the govt that you can financially support yourself for a year through a locked bank account with a minimum of around 11k euro in it).

-what additional documentation is required, besides just your passport? how do you acquire it?

--you will probably have to get passport photos taken again after you've moved because (i'm assuming anon is from the US but i'm sure this applies to other countries too) required biometric photo sizes vary by country and you will almost certainly need one for any residency permit or other documentation.

the other important thing will be securing housing, which gets to be a massive fucking pain when you live on the other side of the ocean. doomspiral and i lucked out massively finding a prefurnished place in berlin (which is an especially hard city to find housing in in general). you are just going to have to keep trying to contact places until someone actually responds to you, unfortunately. and, realistically, you're going to have to trust that the listing is actually accurate to what you saw on the website.

also, i know that in both germany and austria, once you've actually moved, you will have to register your address with the local government (like within a matter of days, this is not something you can put off literally at all), so look into if you need to do that and what forms are required if you do (i forget the reqs in austria, but in germany it's your passport and a specific form you and the landlord fill out)

european countries are going to require that you have health insurance. there are companies that cater specifically to immigrants and/or students (if you happen to be doing uni there--look into the student insurance it'll be much cheaper lol). try to familiarize yourself with the way the insurance system works; for example, in germany it's not unheard of for you to have a deductible (this is still going to be Much Cheaper than a deductible from an american company lmao). also in general it doesn't hurt to be aware of things like abortion and birth control access (fun fact! abortion is totally illegal in germany and has been since the 1930s and yes you are doing that math correctly about who put those laws in place).

i highly highly recommend putting together checklists of documents you need for each major thing mentioned here. also learn how to use excel to create budgets because it's a lifesaver lol

#q&a #Anonymous #this is what i could think of for general advice! #there's certainly more out there but i think this is a good place to start

[queerhawkeyes]

I only have two more sessions with whitney, my therapist, since my student health insurance ends this month (and she’s at the student health center--when I decided to go with someone at the university I didn’t think I would end up staying in the city after graduation). we talked yesterday about whether I want to immediately look for a new therapist once I have health insurance through my job or not, and also maybe finding a therapist who specializes in OCD, since that’s always kind of been on the back burner but has gotten worse over time. like I don’t want to go home to visit next month for a variety of reasons but one of the biggest is because I can’t touch anything there without getting anxious, which is an understatement actually, and my family has never taken my anxiety about this seriously or even tried to do the bare minimum to accommodate me. I am really only relaxed about contamination in my own apartment, and even then a bunch of new compulsions and issues have cropped up, including not wanting anyone to touch me at all ever because of contamination. I’ve also gotten more anxious about smells but have tried really hard to shut down those thoughts because I really don’t see a way to counter that anxiety other than extreme avoidance of like literally everything. anyways it’s potentially an actual problem now rather than just being another thing to work around, so maybe it’s time to do something about it.

#human crap sack tire fire #got really upset thinking about this during therapy yesterday #and I don't know if it's because the specific worries that cause the compulsions are so intense #or if the idea of changing things is too overwhelming #but idk 60mg of prozac isn't cutting it and tbh never really has #so maybe exposure therapy is worth a shot #ocd cw

[sl1tcl1t]

Life Update: Idk where else to write down my thoughts and experiences for almost the past year.

To get myself caught up with the last post I made from last year, it was my final year in HS and I never wanted to leave that rancid hél/hø\e so damn bad. I finally graduated and got into college. This freshman year is the absolute worst. On top of that, I couldn't get a dorm room, which is expected according to the hierarchy of classmen. But anyway, this year's schedule has been extraordinarily harmful to my physical and mentally. Since I don't have a dorm, I gotta commute to my classes every single day. In my case, I must drive all the way from the south to the city (1hr 30min on avg.) This is not a bad drive, unless u wanna beat the I-75/I-85 9 - 5 traffic. Which ALSO MEANS I gotta wake up at 4:00 am and leave the house by 5 if I want to arrive in time for my 8 and 10 am classes. Additionally, my last class during Mon,Weds, and Fri ends at 5pm. I don't get home till about 7. AND on top of all that, Tue and Thurs is when I work my part time shift. The latest my shift can end is at 7:30pm and it takes me at least 30 mins to get home. If I want to get the most sleep possible, I gotta be in bed by 9. My sleep schedule bc of this is incredibly fùçk3d up. Luckily, me and my friend made a little room for me to sleep in my car. Which is also another problem. Bc Im too damn sleep deprived, I oversleep multiple times and end up missing classes. Classes where I can't easily get a PowerPoint w/readily available info to write. I feel incredibly behind.

My mental and physical health has gotten progressively worse since I moved outta my mom's house. I really don't wanna get into grave detail abt my family, but TLDR; both parents are complexly problematic, but one's more flexible than the other. But, Jesus Christ Almighty, living with this man is insufferable. Nothing but complaining, guiltripping, nonchalant shaming, and being plain irritating. He brings a wave of negative energy anytime he enters a room. Granted, there are things that he complains about that are justified, but he's getting more and more senile everyday. So he just gets mad at anything now. It pisses me off but also makes me sad. Another thing is that work is overexerting my well-being whilst giving me such a low pay. For context, I work in a warehouse now. Lifting boxes every other day that are half the size of you will give you nausea. My feet have blisters and my hands are cramping. My calves burn, my entire arm is aching, and my head pounds harder than ever. My friend suggests that I might have burn out, and I believe it with every bone in my body. Working at a place that accepts newly hs grads, ofc there would be å$5h0lés my age and worse. The smell has gotten worse since I moved in w dad. He essentially lives in a white trash neighborhood, so the smell outside is horrendous. This smell has affected the inside of my house and now I reek. And the ppl at work love to remind me abt my smelly ass despite trying my hardest to mask it. I seriously cannot stand other day in there and hopefully I can get a new job this upcoming summer.

But apart from all this, the cherry on top of this shit show was today after work. I got off early and wanted to visit this little gravesite around in my area to take pics and upload on here. I chickened out. It's too damn dark for me to take any so I walked around, contemplating life per usual. I decided to go inside the convenience store. I asked if there were any sleeping pills/melatonin and the guy had asked a question that made my mind go blank,

"Are you homeless?"

Never in life would I hear those words issued to me, but if I'm gonna be completely honest, I live at my dad's house, not paying any bills or insurance (yet), I sleep in my car majority of the day, and I have the worst pay to labor ratio. So technically, Imma borderline broke ass freeloading bum. But anyway, I was even more in shock when he rang my items. I forgot my wallet in the car and told him I was going to run out n grab it, but he just gave me the bag with an empathetic, "it's okay". And now I feel like a piece of shit to completion. Bc in hindsight, Im not HOMELESS, but it damn sure feels like I am.

I can't believe Im turning into every person I've met in the workforce. Ppl who just live paycheck to paycheck and just let the days past by; not doing anything but working. I use to make fun of those ppl at my last job as a cashier while in HS, but seriously, I got the realest reality check of my life. I really cannot live a life like that for 30+ years if I can't figure something out by graduation. Else I'm better off with maggots in my eyes and my skin wilting in the ground.

I'm done ranting, I need some sleep.... GN and happy Halloween ✌🏽

#personal vent #vent #rant #vent post #tw vent #anxiété #ranting #quick life update #life update #real life #this is me #i got nowhere else to put this so i'll keep it here #this is real #this is rough #this is reality #thus is life #revelation

[thistransient]

I am pretty sure I am going to stop taking class next semester. On one hand, after one year of studying and 6 months of having a student ARC, I could get a part-time work permit and national health insurance. On the other hand, class steadily wears down my mental health every semester until break, and I am almost certain trying to work on top of that would be disastrous. I thought about trying to go directly into working, but (as far as I know, anyone is welcome to prove me wrong) it’s impossible to convert a student ARC into a work ARC, so either way I need to leave the country and reenter. Covid definitely inflicted some mental trauma, so I can’t shake the fear that I’ll be barred entry back in for whatever reason, forcing my friend to clean out my apartment and ship everything to me in whatever country I inevitably take refuge in...

He just flew back from Vietnam today though and assured me Taoyuan Int’l Airport is back to pre-covid functionality. Having a gander at Skyscanner, I saw that the airline “Fly Gangwon” goes between Taipei and Yangyang International Airport (never heard of it, evidently somewhere near Seoraksan) which tempted me briefly until I looked up the company and promptly lost confidence that they’d still be in business by the end of March. I had entertained thoughts of going to Tokyo but flights are still too expensive. I’ve been to most cities/countries within affordable range of Taipei, so either I pony up for something new, or pick somewhere I liked enough to repeat. I fondly remember Okinawa having neither feral dogs nor rampaging scooters on the sidewalk, but it’s still not the cheapest option, and I don’t even know how my school is organising this last month of class (another new teacher? and god only knows who’s taking break when), so I’ve been waffling and having the usual big-life-change depression that always manifests around this time.

I’ve been reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and it’s...well, it’s something, and I’m both a) not looking forward to my dad wanting to visit me this spring, and b) realising my whole relationship with my Chinese tutor was another bid for emotional intimacy with someone who was never capable of reciprocating the way I wanted, and I’m not sure how to extricate myself from this (class, our extracurricular artistic collaboration, my general mental entanglement, idk). I would like to make more IRL friends in Taipei, especially in my immediate area, but I’m not sure exactly how, when social engagement wears me out, and, ironically, I feel isolated because I speak tolerable Mandarin but I don’t look at all like someone who speaks tolerable Mandarin. Most of my friend-making in the past has relied on someone more extroverted adopting me and dragging me along, and I feel my odds of this have gone way down. I miss, in a way, my days of hostel work-stay where there was a constant influx of potential friends, and they all came directly to my door! Now I have to actively leave my room and go outside to a social venue and talk to strangers? However, this is not a lament with no plan for action, I’m really hoping if I hang out in Taipei while not taking class I’ll have the energy to go to more events, and sooner or later SOMETHING will happen. (I went to a “rope jam” the other week, I don’t know what I expected exactly but I am willing to go again.)

I had a moment yesterday in which I asked myself exactly what I’m hanging around in Taiwan for now anyways. I’ve basically burnt myself out with classes, I’m faced with the prospect of getting a job I’m not thrilled about just to stay in a place where honestly I’m kinda lonely and touch-starved. It was a safe space to hang out while I worked on transitioning, processing some of my never-ending queue of issues to be processed, and immersing myself in a special interest, but now what, huh? Don’t get me wrong, Taipei is a city where I find a lot of joy in everyday little things, and that definitely makes it easier to keep going alone. At the same time, I had a significantly better social network and support back in 2017, and I’m missing that connection. I’ve read that part of contentment is finding fulfillment in what one does, and I’m also at the point in advanced language study where the returns are very mild and subtle relative to effort expended. (I hadn’t considered that as a factor til I wrote it out, but it tracks.) So the next step is to look for work, and see how that changes things. Well, once I pick somewhere to fly to in April, anyways. 

#we had a class field trip to Xingtian Temple on friday to try some divination techniques #the gods told me not to marry any of my friends #i suspect they're right #they also said i should work on looking for someone i could marry for love and idk about thaaaat one -_- #we went to the 月下老人 temple after but my heart was not in it

[lavenoon]

Hi hi, Luce!! ✨ I have some little questions about agency stuff! I might be a bit of a fool, but I wanted to ask what the voice distortion mechanisms in the comms system were for. Wouldn't CC want to confirm it's the agent in question speaking to them? And wouldn't the agents come into contact with CC members in-person in HQ anyways? I was also curious about what would happen if a civvie got caught up in maybe an operation gone-wrong. Sees things go down and all... Would they try to recruit? 🌻

Hi Daye!! Asking questions that in all honesty did not have a well thought out answer before, but! I can make it make sense <3

The voice distortion is optional, it's an additional security measure for agents who's civilian life may be a bit more public/ who just want to go the extra careful mile. For recognition there's still codes that regularly change that are used in lieu of greetings, because in a world with animatronics and also just general voice recordings, especially fast advancing voiced AI, just the voice wouldn't quite be enough to confirm their identity anyway!

For Field Agent Robin, they use it because they like feeling important and mysterious, and CC Robin is simply too terrified of messing up again, so they cover all their bases.

Dusk and Dawn in both cases are newbies and stick to the rules, especially since the agency is still kind of testing them, so they also go the extra mile!

They don't meet at HQ, the offices for field agents and the command center aren't quite in the same area, and Dusk/ Dawn as CC agents wouldn't really need to leave their post until their shift ends, and Robin is still just a recluse who simply doesn't mingle with other agents when they can avoid it. CC Robin even more so, given that they feel like they deserve better than CC but feeling slighted by other field agents.

For a civilian caught up during a mission fallout, well... It depends.

Is this a person of potential interest? Are they a witness to vital information? They may not get recruited per se, but will be brought in for questioning, debriefing, and then protection while conveniently legally binding them to a couple NDAs and ensuring that they don't have any evidence except their own memory. Their word against the agency is simply not a threat (:

Is this person someone who actively interfered on the agency's behalf, showing a decent talent for this kind of stuff beside their quick thinking? They might get recruited as a regular agent! They'll still have to go through training, and will have to sign even more NDAs, but they get a nice paying job and health insurance as a perk!

Is this someone who makes things actively more difficult for the agents on scene? Or someone who refuses to sign the NDAs? They, uh... They might be handled a bit roughly, actually. The agency is a private one and is not above illegal methods, though they're careful to not leave behind any evidence. They're not above ruining someone's entire credibility with planted scandals either, just in case someone decides to talk to the press, and hush money is something they're quite familiar with, though law enforcement is bribed more often than a random civilian (implications intended - police may not follow up on a "poor lunatics" claim of secret agencies and violent blackmail, whoops)

For witnesses to "harmless" things like simply an agent parkouring past, or rushing out of a definitely supposed to be locked building, often the consequence is nothing - it's a big city, and many people simply shrug and don't assume responsibility. Not their circus, not their monkeys. And so the agency remains in the shadows!

#answer let luce #daye asks #accidentally undercover #au alt timeline #technically? since discussion of field agent/ cc agent pairup timeline fhdjsk #this makes a shocking amount of sense for being a product of the last 30 minutes lmao #the podcast au works dw dw FGHDJS #that's also why the voice distortion device breaking isn't more than like... 'ahw man okay that sucks but i still gotta relay this info' #that's why it's not too big of a risk to take #hope that answers your questions <3 #if not feel free to ask more but I WILL go get food now. craving takeout #GFHDJSK