#I actually had the hardest time of nearly everything I've written trying to get this one right but I'm really happy where it ended up

[youre-a-total--poser]

Hey i was wondering if you write about mental illness? If so could you write a fic where Nat(mother figure) starts to notice that the teen reader isn’t eating as much and is losing weight. So she she confronts the reader and reader denies it and as weeks go by nat is trying to make reader eat but reader says their is nothing wrong with her. Also reader goes to school and peter also starts to notice so he tells nat cuz she is like the readers mom so then nat has enough and tells the team and they have an intervention and help the reader. I was thinking that the reader would be like an orphan and joined the avengers at 12 cuz they were a widow that nat recused so nat is like a mother figure and you can decide if peter and her are love interests. I totally understand if you dont want to write this it would just really help me a lot. Thanks!!!

Let Us Help You (Request)

Warnings: Eating Disorders and all the things relating to that Age: 15 Word Count: 2,050 Requests: Open Summary: Read the request and it will explain everything Requested by: Annonomys on Tumblr. I hope everything is okay my messages are always open if you or anyone else wants to talk. Date: 19/11/2023 A/N: I'm back at least I think I'm back I haven't really decided yet. I had a lot of stuff to deal with from starting college and life that I wanted to deal with first.

Sorry if this is terrible it's the first time that I've written anything in months so just bear with me while I get back into it.

I've opened the requests again so if anyone sent in a request from before can you send it in again

Masterlist

---⧗---

From the age of two, you were taken away from your parents and were trained in the Red Room. Up until the age of 14 killing, pain, fighting and hunger were all that you knew that was until Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova destroyed the Red Room and rescued you and the other girls who were there.

Since you were the youngest Natasha didn't know what do to with you so she ended up taking you back to the Avengers compound with her.

An agreement was made and they allowed you to stay with them. Everyone was nice to you and they tried their hardest to get you to open up to them but nothing really worked the only person who actually succeeded was Natasha.

She understood exactly what you went through since she went through the exact same thing. She helped you through the nightmares and the panic attacks.

After many months Natasha discovered that your parents perished in a terrible fire and you were an orphan now.

You were sad when you heard the news but not enough for it to have a major impact on your life since you couldn't even remember them besides it's not like you were alone you had Natasha and all the other Avengers taking care of you.

---⧗---

It was nearly 3 years since you were rescued from the Red Room and you still weren't used to your newfound freedom. You were living in a space place, had access to unlimited food, were allowed to go outside whenever you wanted and you even attended school.

Because you were allowed to eat whatever and whenever you wanted you gained quite a bit of weight. You planned to gain weight but not as much as what you were now and it wasn't until that when you, Steve and Sam went on a run and you couldn't even keep up with Sam anymore you knew that it was time for a change.

You didn't tell Natasha or anyone else about your new weight loss journey because you knew that they would tell you that you didn't need to lose any weight.

You started looking online for the most effective diets for teens but they all looked like they would be too much work so you decided that not eating and training all the time would be the quickest way to lose weight.

---⧗---

The first 2 days of your new weight loss journey went by fine. You pretended to be late for school so no one would question why you were only eating half a slice of toast. You didn't eat lunch at school then Natasha asked what you wanted for dinner you told her that you ate on your way home from school

It was going on 7 pm you made your way down to the gym and told Natasha that you were bored as an excuse to join in with hers and Steve's training session.

You originally thought that the weekends would be much harder to skip meals but after you forced yourself to eat two slices of toast so no one would question anything you told Natasha that you were going to Peter's so you both could work on homework together.

You were at Peters's for hours and when his aunt asked if you wanted to stay for dinner you told her that Natasha was taking you out for dinner later and when you got home you told Natasha that you had dinner at Peter's

---⧗---

A few months have passed and things obviously have been terrible maybe not all terrible but the majority of it has been.

---⧗---

It has finally become noticeable that you have lost so much weight and girls at school have been giving you compliments about how good you look. Those compliments instantly cancel out all the bad stuff that has been happening. Lying to your friends and family about what you're eating, all the headaches and dizzy spells, collapsing when you went on a run with Steve and the most embarrassing one of all when you passed out in gym class.

You only made it halfway through the school day before you had to go to the nurse since you had a bad headache and you were feeling so dizzy.

The school nurse phoned home and Natasha came and picked you up

You were told that Natasha was here and you made your way outside and over to her car. She didn't look happy maybe because it's been nearly every day for weeks that someone has had to come pick you up halfway through the school day.

She's been so distracted with work lately that she hasn't actually noticed that you haven't been eating and you've lost so much weight no one at home has really noticed and if they have they haven't said anything.

Before you could even get fully in the car she started interrogating you.

"What going on?" She asked.

"Nothing." You responded while putting on your seatbelt.

"Well, it must be something otherwise you wouldn't be asking to come home early every day. Just because I've been busy with work doesn't mean that I don't know what you've been doing"

"It's nothing." you sighed.

Natasha shook her head and then turned off the engine. "we're not moving till you tell me what's going on with you."

You covered your face with your hands. "honestly it's nothing please just take me home I'm tired and everything hurts."

She was going to say something but stopped herself then turned back on the engine and drove you home.

As soon as you got home you went right to your room got changed and went to sleep.

---⧗---

While Natasha was waiting for you to wake up from your nap she was sitting in the common room with her laptop on her lap working on mission reports.

A figure appeared next to her and she thought it was you at first but when she looked up it was Peter.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Ms Romanoff," Peter said nervously.

"It's okay Peter," Natasha said closing her laptop. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just came here to check on Y/N. My Aunt made her some soup since she's been skipping lunch every day at school and she's probably not eaten anything today."

"She's been skipping lunch?" Natasha asked standing up.

"Yeah, and I don't think that it's just lunch whenever she's over at my house she always makes excuses about how she can't stay for dinner."

It broke Natasha's heart when she heard that the young girl who she saw as her daughter was doing this to herself. Natasha wished that she could take these last few months back and notice what was going on and help you.

"Thanks, Peter, I'll go check on her," Natasha replied then headed to your room.

She quietly sneaked into your room but you were still asleep. She saw your phone lying on your bedside table and started looking through it something that she had never done before and thought that she would never do but it was the only way that she could get answers.

As she looked through your phone there was so many app that was meant for dieting and calorie counting, lots of YouTube videos about dieting and countless Google searches about it too.

Natasha started tearing up she knew that she had to do whatever she could to help you before it became too late and she really hoped that it wasn't already too late.

---⧗---

When you woke up it was nearly 6 pm. You went downstairs to get some water and noticed that everyone was in the common room like they were having some sort of meeting.

"What's going on?" You asked walking closer to everyone.

"Come sit down," Natasha said patting the empty spot beside her.

You sat down beside Natasha and instantly felt everyone's eyes on you.

Natasha gently took your hands in her and held them tightly. "We just want you to know that we're not mad or disappointed we just want to help you," Natasha said softly

You looked around at everyone's concerned faces. "Okay," you replied, still unsure of what exactly was going on.

"Sweetie I know that we I mean that I've been busy lately and I haven't been around much to notice what you're going through," Natasha said

"What are you talking about Nat? I'm fine, I don't have any problems," you say quickly, hoping to brush off her worries and hide away from the situation.

"Sweetie, I know it's hard, but you don't have to lie to us. We know that you're skipping meals. There's no denying that something is going on, and we only want to help you get better."

"I'm not lying, Nat! I'm just busy with school and essays and don't have time to eat like I used to. I don't have any problems, I don't need your help, leave me alone!" You shouted while standing up.

Natasha stands up and takes hold of your hands, them very tightly. "We know you've been struggling, and we're here to support you through this. You don't have to keep pretending or hiding from us, we just want to help."

Tears started forming in your eyes "I want to stop but I can't those girls at school think being thin is cool. They started becoming my friends when I started losing weight. I don't want to lose them as friends."

"Y/N you shouldn't be friends with people who made you do things like that to yourself you deserve better friends," Wanda says.

"just stop you all don't understand what it's like to be a teenage girl in high school." You shouted

You went to walk away but wanda grabbed your arm "Y/N, we may not have the same exact experiences as you, but that doesn't mean we can't help you. We've been through a lot and know how hard it is to deal with challenges and trauma, and we want to be there for you and help you through this. You don't have to go through this alone, and we're all here to support you."

You tried to hold the tears back, you tried to stay strong so that they would forget all of this and you could go back and hide in your room but you just couldn't any longer the feeling was building up inside of you desperate to get out and it all came out at once.

"It's all just too much! I can't handle this anymore, I'm so tired of fighting. I'm so tired of being in pain and feeling like I'm never enough. I don't know how to stop, I just want the pain to go away."

Natasha wrapped her arms around you and held you tightly. "It's going to be okay. We're going to get you the help that you need and everything is going to be okay I promise." She said softly

---⧗--- Nearly a year had passed and things are better than they've ever been. You have been going to therapy and support groups and though at first, you thought that they would do nothing to help you they ended up making such a huge difference in your life. They would give out special rewards for weight gain and they would bring in people who were going through what you were going through and they would talk about their experience and what helped them be the person they were today.

With every single person that came into talk, you felt so inspired by them and you knew that change can become possible and it did.

You were also invited to be a speaker and you hoped to also inspire other kids.

You were also moved into a different school which made you much happier. You made so many new friends who cared about you and not about your number on the scale or your dress size.

The only thing that you missed about your old school was being there with Peter. Even though you still saw him every day after school it was still strange not to see him in the classroom but it didn't matter your friendship was as strong as ever and that was all that mattered.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #mama nat #natasha x teen #natasha x teen reader #natasha romanoff x teen reader #natasha romanoff x teen #peter parker x reader #wanda maximoff x teen reader

[jtl07]

jtl07 fics, summer 2023

Kinda liked doing the half year recap in June and had planned to do another one at the end of the year, but since I had quite the posting spree this month, decided to do one now.

General stats

Total on this pseud: 12 (all avatrice / Warrior Nun fandom)

Fics posted (chronological order):

to all the girls (to you, to me) -- or: Ava watching people fall in love with Beatrice, including herself

leave it all behind (I’ll see you on the other side) -- or: Ava comes back - healthy, whole, quiet. Too quiet.

the long, delirious, burning blue -- or: the moody Top Gun 2 (Maverick) AU

another little peace (restful pieces): something old, something blue -- or: the girls buy cereal; or or: Bea learning the difference between safety and familiarity

looks for you in everything (finds you there) -- or: Switzerland vignettes based on items found in their bedroom

Enhanced Beings Tech Support transcripts -- or: What if there was technical phone support for “enhanced beings” like halo bearers?

another little peace (restful pieces): lets you see the wonder of it all -- or: Ava meets a member of her family

another little peace (restful pieces): like a boat -- or: Beatrice plays Stray Gods

late night vigil -- or: camila learns about beatrice's strap; she helps in her own way

another little peace (restful pieces): to always wake up to you -- or: avatrice proposal based off of SimplyKorra's fantastic headcanon

another little peace (restful pieces): perchance to dream (no more) -- or: Ava wakes up from a dream

can't go back -- or: Five times Beatrice tries a food for a second time

(More numbers, thoughts, and some plans below the cut)

More numbers

Total words: 36720

Shortest: 685 (to always wake up to you)

Longest (one-shot): 5987 (the long, delirious, burning blue)

Average/Median word count: 3060 / 2019

General thoughts

Nearly 10k more words in the past 3 months than I wrote the first half of the year - I guess being in a safe space after your life has been turned upside down makes a difference, huh?

I still don't know what happened this month - specifically, the two week period from 8/14 - 8/26 where my fingers were just trying their best to keep up with the stories pressing in my brain lol (willing to bet it's somethingsomething healing and how it can take many forms, like this kind of intense spike)

Fun fact: This is only the second time I've written a one-shot over 5k words this year (3rd time ever in my many years of writing fic). It's always interesting to look at the average / median word count because it's been firmly in the 2k range. I still want to challenge myself with longer work, they just take time and energy yknow? Under 3k, I feel really comfortable now, which is a cool feeling

Fic that surprised me:

Honestly, everything that happened in that intense two week period (i.e. everything posted after "the long, delirious, burning blue") was a genuine surprise. Every time one of those ideas happened, I felt like I was just trying to keep up. I was really glad to have the space - emotionally, physically - to write those stories.

And I guess what surprised me also was just how wide a range they all were. I've been trying to work on just "writing what will get written" and learning to turn off the judgemental voice in my head that says things like, "you should be writing more," or "you should be writing better ideas." It was a surprise that these ideas just kinda flowed without much friction, yknow? I'm taking it as a sign of growth :)

Fic that was the hardest to write:

Oh gosh hands down leave it all behind (I’ll see you on the other side) - I had to discard full drafts and start over from scratch multiple times to get to what's actually posted. I had tried different perspectives, different settings, different points in the story, but I just kept getting stuck. I think part of it was because when I write, I usually start with a vibe or an arc - with this one, I was starting with the turn, the twist - which I don't often write either. So writing this kind of story was new on all fronts

can't go back was also a bit frustrating to write - I've been dealing with a sudden recurrence of brain fog so I know part of it was that, but idk, I feel like it could have been tighter thematically

Fic that I'm proud of:

Definitely the Top Gun 2/Maverick AU, the long, delirious, burning blue. I mentioned this in a comment that when I first had the idea, I'd expected it to be more of an action fic - I don't often write action, so I thought it'd be a good opportunity to practice. But, as with most of my work, it ended up quite moody, more a reflection of grief and duty.

Why am I proud of it? Because despite my initial intent, and my initial disappointment when I realized the direction it was going, I allowed myself to go with it. Writing this piece helped me accept where I am in my writing, to accept the stories I choose to write and how I write them. This fic was not at all what I had expected, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed

Runner up: looks for you in everything (finds you there) - the final word count shocked me, honestly, I didn't expect to write so many vignettes. But I was mostly proud of the diligence behind this and letting my sappy side run free lol

WIPs in the wings

Lol my WIP list is hella long - and that's not counting a whole separate document I have that's just prompts. I still have some Supercorp ideas that I've not yet fleshed out that are more on the "experimental" side that play with form and formatting - I've also some avatrice ones in "genre" as well.

Surprisingly, I've a couple AUs I've been turning over in my mind - I blame playing Stray Gods for making me remember some video games I'd grown up playing lol Oh and I've been pondering how to do a litrpg/gamelit style fic as well.

There's a couple longer one-shots that I've been pecking at but are going to take me a while to finish - there's one that's sort of a sister to every leaf that falls (never stops falling) (not a continuation, more like a sister in terms of vibe and tone), and another that explores Ava having a new ability (will I ever stop being enamored with Switzerland era? The answer is no lol).

But mostly, I'm just going to vibe with happens - "write what will get written" and all. We'll see where it all goes!

If you've read this far, thanks a ton for your support and going on the ride that is my fics lol - much appreciation to y'all!

#my writing #jt writes fic #words about my words #avatrice #jt's fic recap

[iztopher]

listen. i know this is a cop out. but i genuinely want to know the answer to all of those ask meme questions, so let's just say please answer any of those questions you want to

OMG no if this is a cop out it is an incredibly flattering and sweet one, and i am delighted to do it

...under the cut because this is going to get a little longer because i am in fact doing all of them! (that i haven't already done, anyways)

1. what's the fic youre most proud of?

i keep calling don't you dare go down the best thing i've ever written, and i'm standing by that for the foreseeable future. i put together a lot of stuff i'd been thinking about for years in that fic and i'm really satisfied with how it all came together

2. what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

this is a really fun question for me because it's kind of embarrassing, because my answer is... i don't have one that i've posted! the fics that take me to a hard place are the ones i have trouble writing the most, so a lot of times they don't get finished. and when they do, i tend to not post them (see question 4).

3. what fic are you emotionally attached to?

nearly all of them! but if i had to pick one, lovely things (but you're the loveliest). it took me a couple years to write, and the last two chapters were written when moonie was visiting me for a week and with a lot of encouragement from her, so i have a lot of good-sad associations with it.

i'm also currently writing a te'ijal character study that is no where near finished yet but has been my quiet close to my heart passion project for a couple years. i'm so scared to work on/finish/share it because i want it to be Perfect and i'm trying to suck it up and do it anyways because the most important thing is that i get it out there!

4. what fic of your own do you read for comfort?

another embarrassing answer which is... none of the ones i've posted publicly, because i have a tiny treasure trove of fic i've written just for this purpose HAHA. they tend to be much rougher around the edges and not up to my standards for characterization (i often joke they're part of "Communication AU", which is an AU where everything is the same but characters who would never openly communicate are willing to do so) because they tend to get into topics that I genuinely do not know how to write when everyone is being cagey/secretive/repressed.

5. what fic of your own won't you read?

the ones i deleted from my computer/external drive </3 but nah otherwise i'll read any of them.

6. what's the hardest part of the writing process for you?

FINISHING THE DAMN THING.

i'm constantly writing like 5-10 fics at a time and flitting between whichever one strikes my fancy the most, which is really fun for the experience of writing and really hard for actually... getting any of them ready to share...

not to mention endings are hard. my little mermaid au outline is currently on the third or fourth version of its ending.

7. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

i cut my teeth on the aveyond fandom, so i tend to go into a fic expecting 2-4 people i know personally to read it and not much anyone else. receiving feedback/support makes me happy & receiving any response beyond what i expect makes me ECSTATIC, but i tend to fair pretty well with not getting it, either.

9. what's your writing process like?

get idea! immediately write as much of the idea as i have, in rough chronological order, but skipping over any sections i don't have in mind yet. then I fill in the rest of it with an outline... unless i don't. (sometimes, if i don't have specific ideas for a fic beyond the initial concept, i kinda just trail off and then pick it back up and keep making stuff up.) since i write mostly oneshots, if i don't have to skip anything in this stage (and i actually made it through to the end), my rough draft is finished at this point! i often still outline for oneshots, though, if i do get stuck/skip sections.

so if i haven't finished my rough draft, then i slowly chip away at that outline every time i pick the fic up again. or just keep going from where i left off in the trailing method lol. i edit a lot as i write at this point in the process, which i'm trying really hard to curb, because i think it's one of the things that makes it hard for me to finish.

once i have the rough draft done, i edit it through a few times. for each edit i make a new copy of the document and just make the changes in there. i tend to tackle each draft fixing a different aspect - one will be cleaning up any plot/logic errors, one will be tightening up characterization and dialogue, etc. when I write te'ijalahad, I tend to have a draft specifically for adjusting nicknames/name usage because otherwise I'll default to "wife" and "husband" for everything and half the fun of these two is the variety.

then, when I'm like, okay, this is pretty good, I give it one more read through where I look at everything all together and edit it. if I'm feeling pretty confident or trying to keep the fic a relative secret, I do this stage alone; if not, this is the point where I enlist a friend to beta for me!

also the one unhinged process of this is every time i get stuck / pick the fic up for the first time in a long while / get to the final read through i write it directly in AO3. I have been told this is chaotic and dangerous

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

writing is one of my relatively many creative hobbies & like any of them it makes me really happy to do! i love the feeling when the pieces all click together. it's just fun! writing is also special and particularly satisfying because sometimes when i'm doing game dev or drawing or whatever and i can't figure it out i get pissed off lol but i never get like... upset when i can't figure out a writing thing. i just let it simmer and come back to it.

i'm also trying to work on writing more vent/heavy/comforting stuff as a way of handling my emotions instead of getting stuck in them & spiraling but i'm kind of bad at reminding myself to do that

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

no and for that i say thank god (although sometimes i get worried about that. i don't think i need to be though)

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

my own desk <3 i love when it's dark outside or raining but i'm not picky haha

13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?

hell YEAH i take pride in it. that doesn't mean it doesn't embarrass me sometimes, though i'm honestly just proud of myself for finishing a project, so looking back at a fic that i got through enough to post always makes me feel really good. also, i (usually) write characters the exact way i headcanon them, so i'm always like wow... i'm so proud of this characterization... like wow i wonder why it's almost like i wrote it exactly to my tastes. also sometimes the way i use language makes me feel like "oh yeah i did good".

14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?

not really! when i read by other writers i try to take note of aspects of what i like about it and if any of that is my present in my writing/i could make it be present, but other than that i try to mostly take a "wow! two cakes!" approach even when my own writing is concerned.

15. How do you think your writing has improved over time?

relatively recent past: i have a tendency to overexplain myself, and i think my improvement is clearest when i've stopped doing that and have trusted my words to speak for themselves more. or: i feel like i've gotten more direct in what i'm trying to get at?

longer: what i just said on a larger, way more visible scale, and also i feel like i've done a good job at figuring out what i actually want to write and sticking to that. i've gotten more confident and firm in my characterization, stopped trying to write romance because i thought that was the best way to write characters interacting, let myself stop trying to write non-aveyond fic when for me fic writing is for fun and that's what's most fun for me, etc. also i feel like i've gotten more comfortable with using language in a less than 100% literal way.

16. Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?

i would theoretically read any of my old fics that i haven't outright deleted from existence, but i tend not to read anything i wrote before college. i gotta dig out the external drives for those and it's very rare that feels... worth it...

everything on my ao3 I reread fairly often though dghksdl at the end of the day i am a huge part of my intended audience and it only makes sense i read the fics i wrote partly for myself!

17. What’s the best engagement/interaction/feedback you’ve received from someone who’s read your work?

oh man I cannot pick because I'm genuinely so grateful for everyone who reads my stuff and gives engagement <3 my favorite type of engagement is anything where someone says a favorite part, though, whether that's as general as a scene or as specific as a line of dialogue/writing (also shoutout to xzoni who has written multiple play-by-play comments on my fics)

...actually the best engagement i've ever gotten is that on don't you dare go down, literally like 10 different people responded to it by pointing out one or both of two specific lines and being like "this part was so good/my fave!" the like, unanimous agreement that some of that writing was really good? was such a good feeling and is probably part of why that's the fic i'm proudest of.

18. Do you only write when you’re inspired, or do you try and sit down at specific times and write no matter what?

(grimacing) inspired ... i'm trying to work on that. i've found that when i try to write every day, i do, but my other hobbies fall by the wayside, so i'm trying to make sure i write/draw/game dev at least one day a week and then fill in the rest of the week with whatever i'm inspired to do. good compromise.

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

oh man not gonna lie this is a little metaphorical for me. on a very literal level, a lot of my fics are essentially gifts for myself - i wanted them to exist & knew i was the only person i could be Certain would make them. and that's really nice! to have content to go back to and appreciate.

and on a broader meaning level, i feel like it's given me a sort of confidence that feels really nice, and has let me engage with some really cool people over the common interest of writing, even across fandoms or original content. it feels really cool to talk to people (such as yourself) about Writing TM and be like, wow, I have this thing in common with really cool people whose work i admire!

...not to say this is a little metaphorical for me and then Keep Talking but actually one more thing on this answer is that i remember being like, 9 years old and reading aveyond fic by these authors in their 20s, who i thought had such detailed and thoughtful characterization, and being like, man! i hope i'm like that when i grow up! ...and now I literally am? I'm 23 years old and writing about those exact same characters and I'm proud of that writing & satisfied in my characterization and headcanons, and honestly i feel like one of the greatest gifts writing has given me is the gift of an incredibly achievable goal that i still had to spend 10+ years getting to and feel really proud of myself for doing so.

#dear mel #this got SO LONG. thank you SO SO MUCH for it #it was a lot of fun to write up and answer!!!! #i love you too <333

[bonesandthebees]

Sorry for more questions I hope you don’t mind ^^” if you do lmk, I’m just interested in writing and you have such an amazing style <3

A) what character is the hardest to write? And which is the easiest?

B) what’s your writing process? Do you have a lot of drafts? Do you start over a lot? Do you play music or in complete silence?

C) similar to question A, which character is your favorite to write? And which is your least favorite?

D) does it ever hit you how many people have actually read your fics?

E) if you could write fanfiction for a career, would you?

Sorry again for all the questions!! No need to answer them all, I was just curious, but I don’t mean to be nosey /g

-🍄anon

I don't mind at all these are super fun questions!!!

A) Techno is the hardest to write by FAR. It's not that I don't watch his content or anything, I do! I really love him as a cc and think he's hilarious. I just struggle so much with how to characterize c!techno. Where to draw the line between humor and seriousness and how he talks about emotions—I overthink writing him so much lmao. Easiest character is definitely Tommy though, he's my boy

B) Aww that's cute that you guys think I write drafts /lh. I basically will have the plot for a chapter or fic outlined in loose bullet points, and then I just go through and write it from start to finish. Not all at once usually, but I go in chronological order and don't skip around. And I don't write multiple drafts or anything. While I might go back and add a few lines here and there or reword a sentence or two, nearly everything you see written is what I wrote down on my first run through. I don't have the patience to go back and heavily edit so I just write it as best I can the first time around and that's what we get. I almost never start over either. I think one of the only times I came close to starting something over was when I was writing vanderlyle, I ended up writing a huge chunk of the first bookstore scene with Wilbur and Tommy meeting and deleted nearly the entire thing because the tone wasn't right and it was messing me up trying to move forward. Also, sometimes I listen to music that's instrumental like movie soundtracks or lofi beats, on rare occasions I can listen to music with lyrics while i write but I have to be really focused, and sometimes I just write in total silence it really depends on my mood

C) Wilbur is my favorite to write hands down. I definitely think a bit more about characterizing him properly when I'm writing him vs Tommy, but I just love c!wilbur as a character so much. He's so complex and has so many facets to him, it's really fun to pick and choose which part of him I want to highlight in each of my works. And again I'd say Techno is my least favorite character to write mainly because of how difficult it is for me to write him

D) I definitely try to comprehend the numbers, but y'know how our cc's often say it's really hard to conceptualize the huge number of viewers they get? it's like that with my fics. It's so strange to sit there and try to comprehend that there have been over a million clicks on clinic. It's very strange to try and picture ~4500 people in a room and know that that many people get emails whenever I post literally anything, not just a specific fic. It's mind boggling to comprehend that at it's peak, over 10k people got an email every time I updated clinic. I struggle to even picture 1000 people in a room, let alone that many. so yeah, I don't really comprehend it most of the time, but I try my best to keep things in perspective because I'm so grateful to have the audience I have

E) hm, I don't know if I'd want to write mcyt fanfiction solely for a career for the rest of my life. my interests shift, and tbh mcyt is a fandom I've stuck around in for one of the longest periods of time, which is surprising since I've been fandom hopping since 2015. I would hate to get stuck creating fanfic solely for a singular fandom, and even if I had the opportunity to switch fandoms, I don't know if I'd want to be restricted creating fan content, y'know? My dream is to be a published author with original novels, so while I don't know if I'd wanna write fanfic for a living, I definitely know I want to write for a living :) It's been my dream since I was a little kid

#long post #ask #mushroom anon #bones writes

[ladyofstardust]

The Mother Thing

Word Count: 2.7k

Rating: T

Summary: In which sometimes the way forward isn’t the way back.

Notes: Apartment-verse fic.  Directly follows Goblin Waltz no.2.  I’m also posting them over at Ao3 in order if you’d prefer to read that way.

There was a moment, Sarah realized upon reflection, that the definition of impossible stopped seeming to matter. That when you’d built your life on impossible things, they start to become probable. Becoming the things you cherish most, helping to carry you from one side to the other.

She didn't credit the moment she first saw the Goblin King, all booming terror and and intimidation in her parent's bedroom.  Becoming her own kind of impossible in the process, the kind that befriends monsters, rescues babies, and overthrows monarchies in just a few short hours. If anything that was the moment she decided she would not make this easy for him.

He would inform her later, that nothing about her had ever been easy, and a part of her would be pleased.  

She also didn't credit the moment years later, standing in her kitchen clutching a glass of wine like it was her tether to reality, when she saw him again.  She had thought he might kiss her.  She was prepared for that.  Not well prepared - her plan had basically amounted to throwing wine in the face of an otherwordly powerful being, generally not the best choice, but you know, better than nothing.  But he didn’t kiss her, instead she kissed him.

She remembered what Sir Didymus had said once, about Jareth never trying for anyone.  But that he always tried for her. Though later, as she swept up the remains of too much glitter, she decided that wasn't enough.  Trying was fine, listening was better.  Until Jareth was ready to listen to her and respect her as an equal partner, their future was impossible.

Except then he did that.  

Except then, without reason or agenda he showed up to her mother's funeral.  He quietly followed behind her and came dressed in his best human black.  He’d kept his eyes the same just for her.  She hadn’t even told him her mother had died. But then again, she hadn’t told anyone.

A sort of paralysis took over after the phone call. Another moment she thought was impossible until it arrived. That Linda Williams’ lifestyle of ‘too much’ had finally become just that. Sarah felt like she was back in that broken Escher room. Except this time she didn’t have any magic words, and years of crying and begging had made no difference. A dead person is just dead.

She didn't ask him to come and she didn't ask him to leave.  She just looked at him, not crying or screaming because what was the point anymore?  Instead without saying anything, he slipped his ungloved hand into hers.

He let go when she went to speak to her family but stayed close at her side.  He introduced himself as a friend but made himself easily forgotten.  He didn't say the things everyone else said.  Things like better place, at peace, or any garbage about God's will.  He didn't even say the perfunctory but perfectly acceptable "I'm sorry for your loss."  Which was exhausting after about the 50th time she'd heard it.  He took her home, he made sure her laundry was done.  He sent Sir Didymus, Hoggle, and Ludo to check on her.  He left food in her kitchen still warm, and when she wouldn't touch it, he learned how to make boxed mac and cheese, the only thing her mother ever made her, something that she had mentioned once in passing.  He listened, he remembered, he was there.  

She asked him to leave, he didn't listen.  He talked all the time but he never spoke about her mother. Instead he talked about events in his kingdom, what was happening with the various councils, and something about the winter borders, Sarah had no idea, she wasn’t paying much attention. But one evening while she was sitting in her living room picking at some leftovers he came and sat down on the couch beside her.  

"Sarah, you are clearly stuck on this; tell me what I can do to help you," he said quietly.

Stuck, it was the right word for what she was.  She was stuck in the abyss between devastated and accepting she just wasn't going to feel anything ever again.  She didn't know how to get to the other side.  The side that the rest of the world seemed to be on.  Those unmarred by personal tragedy who could talk happily about weekend plans or what was on tv that week without feeling like they were reading from a script about how to be a human.  

“Have you called your father this week? What about Toby? Your other friends?” he replied. “If you won’t talk to me at least talk to one of them.”

“I already spoke to my dad,” she said coldly, recalling their conversation from earlier that week.

Her father had come to the funeral of course, he’d stood there and said the right things, shook the right hands, and hugged the right people. He looked and acted just the way you’d expect the ex-husband of a dead woman to. Sarah wanted to scream, and shake him and tell him to get out. She’d thought she was past that anger, it was never his fault. Nothing was ever his fault.

Later, after everyone had started leaving and beginning the forgetting part of death, her father had walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. She’d thought he might hug her.

“When you become a parent, you think your children will exemplify your best qualities. You think they will have the benefit of all your experiences to learn from, and they will succeed where you failed and become a better version of yourself. But instead they take on your greatest weaknesses, and everything you’ve struggled with is reflected back at you. I think she always struggled with that Sarah…you’ve always been the spitting image of Linda,” he said quietly, removing his hand from her shoulder. “It was difficult for all of us.” he said as he turned to walk away.

“She was 23 when she had me,” she said to Jareth. “I used to think that was old, but having now seen the backend of 23, I can’t imagine having a kid now let alone then. It’s not about the house or the money thing either, I just wouldn’t be able. I’m too selfish. I want too many things, and I hate compromising. But you know that already, what was it you said? Spoiled, manipulative, cruel? Yes, all of the above, thanks for playing and please collect your prize on the way out.”

“I’m not particularly interested in hearing you tear yourself down all in the name of Linda Williams. She’s not worth that,” he argued.

“Well maybe she’s worth that to me!” Sarah shouted. “And nobody asked you to be here! You’re the one that’s refusing to leave.”

“I’m refusing to leave because you need help Sarah - why must you insist on fighting me every step of the way!” he argued.

“Because I don’t want your help!” she shouted again. “I don’t need help, I just need to be left alone because what does it even matter? What does any of it matter! Here’s a nice spoiler alert about human life for you Jareth. Everyone deep down is just all the shit of their parents scraped together, just continuing one long cycle where nobody’s happy. Then they get to die and you get to hang around and try and figure out how to make sense of the fact that the woman who threw soup cans at you once, screaming at you to get out of her sight, is the same woman who braided your hair before bed and taught you how to tie your shoes. All while everyone says you look just like her. So every time you look in the mirror you get to remember just where you came from and just where you’re going.”

“Sarah, I’ve always said that you’re nothing like her.” he started.

“I could take away my permission,” she said quickly, cutting him off. Purposely not looking at him. She didn’t know why he wouldn’t just leave her alone.

“You could,” he said evenly.

“I could,” she said, daring to glance at his expression, it was deadly calm. “Will you leave?”

“No.”

“You’re breaking the only rule I ever asked you to follow you know,” she said, reminding him. “How does that factor into your little scoreboard?”

“All rules must have exceptions love, you know that better than anyone,” he said examining his gloves.

“Don’t call me love we’re fighting,” she snapped.

“No,” he said, suddenly serious again. “I’m not leaving.”

Sarah glared at him and stood up, “Thank you for turning my living room into a hostile space, I’m going to bed.” she said, before marching off to slam the door of her bedroom.

It took two hours.  Two hours of Sarah pacing her bedroom in a rage. Ranting to herself about how wrong Jareth was.  How mad she was at him and daring to tell her about her own feelings or her relationship with her mom - what did he know about any of it.  She'd never talked about her mom with him.  She never talked about her mom with anyone specifically because it was no one's business but hers.  

Two hours and she couldn't sleep.  This wasn't particularly unusual, she hadn't been able to sleep properly since the phone call.  Sitting in bed, she grabbed her old battered copy of Persuasion and found it was still bookmarked from the last time it had been opened.  When he'd read to her.

Half agony, half hope.

And suddenly Sarah started to cry.  

She cried until her whole body shook.  She cried until she couldn't breathe and her head was pounding.  She cried until she thought she was going to be sick.  Why couldn't things ever be fair?  Just once, just for one tiny moment in her entire life all she wanted was for things to be fair. But worst of all, why did it have to be him?  She hated that.  

She grabbed her robe and walked back out into her living room. There, sitting on the couch where she left him, was her Goblin King. He’d been flipping through the television channels and had started picking at her mac and cheese. She watched him there for a moment and smiled slightly to herself. Sarah walked up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder. He turned around abruptly, as if surprised to see her there.

"I'm sorry, I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice catching.  "You weren't right, but I'm still so sorry."

He stood up and wrapped Ludo’s blanket around her, guiding her down to sit beside him on the couch. She didn't even care that all she was wearing under her robe was an old pair of underwear.

“I’m not sad," she said, lying there curled up in his lap.  “All evidence to the contrary, I’m not sad that she’s dead. I’m sad because I’m … relieved. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and the guilt I feel over that relief is almost numbing by itself. But more than that even there is the overwhelming feeling that I failed. That I failed her, and now I have to figure out how to live with myself."

"What do you mean?" he said, confused.

"It's like, imagine loving someone who you know loves you back.  Who you know would burn the world for you if they knew how to strike a match.  My mom didn't even know where you'd find a match.  She wasn't broken, she was just herself.  But that person was a bad mom and she failed me over and over again.  It took me eighteen years to learn that loving someone and hating someone aren't mutually exclusive.  I stopped trying, I stopped begging her to change so I stopped believing she would.  But now she's dead and I have to accept that I gave up on her.  I know I can't or couldn't make her into something she wasn't, which was a good mom or even a decent person. But that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty.”

"You cannot save everyone Sarah," he said.  

"I know, but I'm always going to try.”

“I don’t doubt it,” he said, giving her a slight smile.

“Your parents, they’re supposed to be the people you can rely on to love you no matter what. My mom loved herself more than she loved me, and my dad loves me but there’s conditions on that love. They both love me, I’ve just never been the person they love most. Which I suppose means I’ve never been anyone’s most, and that’s what’s different now. I’ve started to understand what that kind of love might look like, it’s changed how I feel about this stuff. It’s hard for me to talk about it still but…it’s different now.”

He didn’t press her any further and she didn’t say anything else. Instead she let herself drift in and out of sleep for a while. The second time she woke up she wasn’t in his arms anymore. She looked around the room for him, and found him, sitting quietly on the ledge of the large window overlooking the street below. The sun was rising, and he was dancing a single crystal absently between fingers. Sarah wrapped the blanket around herself, and came up to lean on the other side of the window frame.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said quietly.

“Yeah,” she exhaled. “I know.”

She led him back to her bed where he counted the freckles on her shoulders.  He traced the tips of his fingers from her ankle to her collarbone.  He twirled strands of her hair around his thumb and kissed her on her cheek.  He whispered that her kingdom was as great and for the first time, she believed him.

"Why did you believe?" he asked her much later.  Over a cup of coffee for her, and a cup of tea for him, sitting in her breakfast nook.

"I dunno," she'd shrugged while frying up some eggs.  Scrambled for her, sunny side up for him.

“It’s a fairly unusual choice," he informed her while pretending to read the newspaper.  

"I mean," Sarah said with a shrug.  "It just always seemed better than not believing."

"I suppose that's enough," he'd replied lightly.  Her reading glasses perched on his nose.  She'd been telling him for years that he needed glasses but he insisted he could have his eyes adjusted at any time magically but was choosing not to.  Sarah assumed he was choosing not to in order to continue borrowing her glasses.  She was also choosing not to mind, as she smiled every time she saw him wearing them.  "But you do have to keep believing it you know," he said peering sternly over the glasses at her.  

It wouldn’t be the last they spoke of it.  But now, when he was lying in bed next to her, his arms wrapped around her while she slept some more, she'd asked him.  What was she was supposed to do now?  

"I think," he said, considering.  "You learn to live with it, and you ask for help when the burden is too heavy."

"I suppose that's enough," she answered with an exhausted sigh.  

"Sometimes it's more than enough," he said, kissing her temple.  She hadn't believed that, but she believed in him.  Just like she always had, just like she would continue to.  

That was the moment, she decided that there was no way out except forward. Believing in something kinder and something safer. Or some other impossible probables she found somewhere between a mirror and old red book.

#my ownsome #labyrinth #labyrinth has ruined me #sarah williams #minor character death #also if you're sensitive to complex family dynamics and allllllll that entails this may not be the fic for you #fanfiction #I actually had the hardest time of nearly everything I've written trying to get this one right but I'm really happy where it ended up #Apartmentverse

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

#purity culture #sex talk #christianity #sex and relationships #sex and religion #mylife #answered asks #aspec #cw sex

[danpuff-ao3]

For fanfic asks, 6 & 7 😊

Hello! Thanks for the asks! And such difficult ones, too!

6.) Name three stories you found easy to write.

This is a tricky one as I've written many short fics and they generally don't take me much time. But I figure time doesn't necessarily equate to ease. So I really had to sit and think about which stories just burst out of me, and trying to narrow it down.

1.) Welcome to the Family: the sole fest fic that didn't drive me batty! But in fairness, I didn't claim the prompt until I wrote the fic. The deadline was so close, I didn't want to unduly pressure myself. Which, in part, made this so easy! The other part was the prompt was so inspiring and it was so fun to write! I don't think I encountered any real problems with it at all.

2.) 2 + 2 = 4some: (I will never be good at titling things, I stg.) This was....a trip. 😂 It was a wacky, smutty idea that I mentioned in a Discord server and....well, I don't remember if it was support or "haha yeah right" but whatever the reaction was enthused me! (Not gonna lie, whenever someone mocks an idea as undoable I think: well, time for me to do it!) (Pretty sure that's how Romantic Notions came into being, but I digress.) I wrote it all in a night and you know what? I'm pretty proud of it! Weird though it might be.

3.) The Gift of Love: You know I conceptualized, wrote, edited, and posted this all in one day? In and of itself that is not unusual, but for nearly 5k words that's pretty good, I think! And for such a cute story, too! You know sweet stories are not my usual type, but something about this fic was special!

7.) Name three stories you found difficult to write.

This was the hardest because generally I don't fight too much with my stories.

By nature I'm very hard on myself and very perfectionistic, and if I allow that into my hobbies, I'll never have any peace. So I remind myself a lot that writing is a hobby and I'm making no money from it and it's not worth pulling hair out over. Do I always succeed in this mindset? No. But I do try!

This leads to me usually just setting work aside if it gives me trouble. I revisit it when I am able. So perhaps there have been many stories that were difficult, but I rarely push through and deal with the difficulty. I wait until the stories are pouring out of me, which is a much more enjoyable experience with (generally) a better end result.

That said, I will definitely tell you any fics that had deadlines were definitely the most difficult. Silly me forgot that I don't work well under stress. 😂 So it really came down to the wire of me having to crank out words right on top of the deadline.

So onto the list...I have 1 unrevealed fest fic that gave me trouble, but not near the trouble these did:

1.) The Knudhavn Conspiracy: This I wrote for Luna Lovegood fest in 2021. And I agonized through it. Not only because of the deadline, but I was writing such new things for me! I'd never written a primarily femslash fic before. Cho was my POV character, who I'd....never written before. And the ship is Cho/Luna....and Luna is not an easy character to write! She is so strange, and so beloved, so I always feel the pressure to get her just right!

I knew exactly where I was going with that story, but it was so hard because I was second-guessing everything and the deadline was looming. That said, I'm actually very pleased with the end result!

2.) Collateral Damage: This was written for Ron-Draco Fest 2021. And again, there was the issue of the deadline. Not to mention I wrote for these 2 fests pretty much back to back. So I was fresh off the stress of The Knudhavn Conspiracy. And, again, I was writing a ship I was less familiar with in a POV I was less familiar with. Only I was much more attached to the Dron ship than Choluna, and much more attached to my prompt, and I knew the prompter. So much about that situation made me determined to get it perfect.

And despite having a solid plan, I had to scrap my first draft. 10k words down the drain and I started over! Once I decided to open the fic not only mid-scene, but mid smut scene, well...Seems so silly now that I hadn't thought of it before! Things flowed much smoother after that!

3.) smile with sweet surprise: Hands down this is the most troublesome fic I've ever dragged into being 🤣 This one had no fest deadline, but a birthday deadline! Writing a gift for someone in particular is a whole other level of pressure, let me tell you!

Not only that, but it's a story that had been brewing in my head for a while and...well. It brewed for so long for a reason. It was incredibly difficult to put into words. The smut alone was a feat unto itself due to being incredibly hot and thus very distracting to write.

Just getting the story down took ages, but the editing was even worse. As a general rule of thumb, I do very little editing to avoid tempting my inner perfectionist. Once the perfectionism comes out, I fear things might never see the light of day, because nothing can truly be perfect. This is one that almost got lost to over-editing, but thankfully the deadline pushed me to post chapter 1, and the enthusiasm of friends pushed me to post chapter 2.

Y'all just gotta wish me luck on chapters 3-5 because I'm reaaaaaally gonna need it. 😅

fanfiction asks

#asked & answered #fanfiction asks

[cdt12345]

Shameless S11 Ep.1

I'm actually happy with Shameless season 11 episode 1 overall. It was entertaining and we got a lot of great stuff with Ian and Mickey. I'm shocked that I'm actually happy with the screen time. Of course I could've used more Ian and Mickey screen time because I'm always greedy for more Ian and Mickey. I want all things Ian and Mickey!

Mickey eating Ian's toast was adorable! They share food and I love it! Mickey calling Ian, lover! 😵

The second Ian mentioned their wedding money, I knew Mickey did something. It was written all over his face. He can look so fucking guilty sometimes! 😂🤣

Mickey in the bathtub!

I nearly screamed! More like squealed! Then Ian rested his hand on Mickey! I seriously can't deal with the amount of times Ian touched Mickey. EVEN WHEN THEY WERE FIGHTING! I need to know if that was in the script or if that was all Cam, because my god I really needed that!

I was kind of worried about the fights between them, but with Ian doing that it really shows things aren't that bad. For any Ian haters who complain and say Ian doesn't really love Mickey, it's harder to prove that stupid ass theory when Ian gives Mickey this kind of affection, even when he's rightfully upset and frustrated with Mickey. Ian still loves Mickey, maybe is even letting Mickey know by the touch that Mickey doesn't have to worry. They're good, they just need to figure things out.

I am so fucking proud of Ian. He is really trying here. I'm happy he had someone at work he could vent to. Sure that's not gonna last long, but it's good to see him talking to others about this, because he always suffered in silence in the past. Especially, with his family, never wanting to burden them with his problems. Every once in a while Lip could get him to open up but not always.

Reaching out to Lip was great too. I'm happy to see that Lip is really rooting for them and believes they love each other. It's amazing to see how much Lip's view on Mickey and Ian's relationship with him has changed since the beginning. Even though Lip spent the entire episode lying to his baby mamma, he actually gave Ian good relationship advice for once.

I was once again proud of Ian for taking Lip's advice right away and going from there to talk to Mickey. Ian is really putting in the work because he cares so much about this marriage and I'm loving it!

Not thrilled about the fact that Mickey wouldn't show Ian the paper, but I will get past that because it's way too hard for me to believe that Mickey would be okay with them sleeping with other people. But it is suspicious to not want to show Ian and Ian is not going to let it go. At least not in his mind. He's always gonna be wondering what Mickey wrote. So whether Mickey likes it or not, that discussion is going to have to be revisited because their is no way they're going to be able to leave it at that.

Considering how their relationship started, the fact that they were both talking and listening to each other like this, was amazing. These are huge steps they've made and I have even more confidence in them. Even though I know the fighting is not over because they still have a lot of work to do. But they're proving they care enough to try. They always say the first year of marriage is the hardest. They've made it six months without major issue until now, so I think they're doing pretty good. Honeymoon is over and they're still going five rounds and Ian is touching and holding Mickey's hand while they fight. If that's what it's like when the honeymoon is over, how sickeningly sweet were they during their honeymoon?!

Mickey really needs to get his shit together though. How do you go into a marriage thinking everything is going to stay the same? How did Mickey not realize that things were going to change? Why does he think Ian was afraid of marriage in the first place? Because Ian knew things were going to change when they got married.

From reading the John Wells interviews, I was pretty sure I'd be on Ian's side on this. I don't know how the Ian haters are going to find a way to blame all this on Ian, I’m sure they will. But I can't blame Ian for wanting the things he's asking of Mickey and considering their married now, I don't think any of this is unreasonable.

We haven't gotten much of Mickey pov yet, so I can't judge him too harshly either, but I'm sure we'll get more of that as the season progresses. I've seen people who are complaining about the writers and them not letting Mickey just say why he was having issues with their money situation, instead of dragging it on through more episodes. That's funny bc people always complain how ooc the writers make Mickey, but wouldn't that be ooc? Since when does Mickey just come out and say what his fears are? You can't please everyone!

I actually enjoyed the episode. The fights weren't as bad as I expected because Ian kept touching Mickey during and after them. That really made a difference for me and I really hope in future fights this continues. It's amazing how comforting that was for me and I hope it is for Mickey as well. I don't think that's going to happen when they really get in to it, physically in the later episode. But as long as they continue to touch and hold hands during their arguments like this after that, I know they'll be okay.

#I can't believe how much #I can go on & on #about Ian & Mickey #cameron monaghan #ian gallagher #noel fisher #mickey milkovich #gallavich #ian x mickey #gallavich husbands #shameless season 11 #shameless us

[letteredlettered]

First things first, you're such an amazing writer. Your style is incredible and your writing begs to be read. How was the journey to get there? Did you ever struggle with feeling like what you wrote was bad? If so, how did you get over that? I've been writing for a while and I have a hard time knowing if my writing is actually terrible or if I'm just insecure. Do you have any advice?

Oh, my anonymous friend, I am not over that.

I remember hanging out with some fic authors once, and we were all talking about hating things we were writing. We were all nodding along in agreement, and I mentioned how mortifying it is to me when someone likes something I wrote that I don’t like, and how difficult it is to respond to them. The nodding stopped. Someone finally said, “So . . . you mean . . . you’re talking about your posted fics?”

To this day I can’t quite figure out whether they were shocked that I would post something I wrote that I thought was bad, or whether they were shocked because, well, some of these fics I've written that I think are bad are popular, and how could I hate them if they were popular?

I’m saying this to illustrate that for some people, this feeling of being a bad writer doesn’t go away, no matter how much you write, or how hard you work, or how many people tell you you write well. For one thing, being “good” is subjective. It’s not an objective truth. Facts can’t be used to prove it. For another thing, if you’re like me, what other people think doesn’t matter nearly as much as what you yourself think, and in the end, convincing yourself is the hardest task. There are published authors far better than me who felt like their writing was not good enough. Sometimes even just knowing I was in such company made me feel a little better.

Another comfort people will give, or advice, I suppose, is “keep writing!” Often this advice comes without real discussion of what this will accomplish. When it is discussed, people say if you write more, you’ll get better, and that will somehow build your confidence. That’s not how it works for me. I have kept writing; I do think I’ve gotten better as a writer. I still think almost everything I write is bad at one point or another, and moving past that self-loathing and disgust is quite difficult.

However, for me, “keep writing!” with the added advice of “keep posting!” actually did have some impact. When I forced myself to finish something I did not think was good, and then forced myself to post it, it was not the praise or kudos that helped. A lot of stuff I wrote didn’t get that much attention for a long while. Some stuff I write still doesn’t. No, it was the actual fact that I didn’t self-destruct from sheer mortification that was bolstering to me. I wrote something bad, and people read it; the world still turned; no one hated me; the writing professor I had in college who told me they wasted my time reading my writing eventually taught through the end of the semester; I graduated; I winced when I remembered my fics, and I still wanted to write. All the time.

The act of finishing things, and putting into the world what felt like garbage, didn’t actually hurt anyone. It didn’t even hurt me that much. I simply became inured to the fact that I was bad, and I kept doing it anyway. Sometimes people even say I’m bad, and . . . the experience just isn’t that bad. It hurts; you move on. It helps to know that nothing you write is going to cause the end of your world.

One way I became inured that really helped to force myself to write was fests. Lots of fests have deadlines. Most fests I participated in in Harry Potter fandom were hardcore. The mods would come after you if you did not produce, and make you feel extreme guilt if you didn’t write something, because then someone would have to pinch hit, and that puts the mods and pinch hitter in a tough position, and the person in the exchange might not get The Best Gift, and wow it was so much pressure. But I really forced myself to finish some stories I would have otherwise hated too much to complete, and the experience of posting them reminded me that it wasn’t the most awful thing in the world to be a bad writer. So, I recommend things that are going to pressure you and push you to work through that lack of self-confidence to produce something anyway, because it really can help.

As far as my remaining advice, I learned to quit.

Everyone tells you not to quit, but in my opinion, quitting is an important and valuable skill. When something you are writing is so painful to you that you feel physically ill trying to work on it, maybe just don’t do it. Maybe remember why you’re here, and why you’re doing this. If it’s for comments or kudos or popularity I can’t help you, because I don’t identify with you or really understand you, but I hope you make it and wish you the best. But if you’re writing because you love it and feel better when you do it and can’t get it out of your system--if it’s not making you feel that way; if it’s making you sick instead of well; if it’s making you hate it instead of love it--just don’t do it. Write something that will make you happy. Quit the bad thing and do the thing you want.

I am sometimes too fond of quitting. There really is something to be said for forcing yourself to finish something you don’t like. You still learn from it, you get another dose of being inured to your own mortification and lack of self confidence; sometimes you get that little ego boost of at least Having A Story, even if you hate it. But sometimes you really just need to let go and remember why you’re doing this.

I’m so glad you like my writing and I am deeply moved that you value it enough to ask me these questions. The last thing I will say is that writing is not about creating a masterpiece. It’s about expressing yourself, exposing yourself, giving of yourself. Reading is not about praising something well done; it’s about finding something that speaks to you. It’s about about finding someone who can reach out to where you are sitting and gently lean against you, or take your hand, or ever so carefully open your eyes. Do you worry about making a perfect speech to your best friend? Don’t make perfect speeches to readers. One of them is your best friend you haven’t met yet.

#writing advice #self-confidence #Anonymous

[whatsarasaid]

For that 40 question fanfic meme, I'm sorry I picked so many! 1 through 11, 13, 15, 17, 21, 23, 28, 29, 31, 37, and 38. Can't wait to see more work from you btw :)

😭 Jessica, why are you so lovely?

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Short. Delicate, careful moments. Theme and imagery-heavy. Little dialogue. Almost poetry. Focused on the human experience and (dis)connection.

​2. Is there a trope you've yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

One of these days, I'd like to take a swing at AU. I get self-conscious about it, though, ​because a) many people dislike them and b) it's my own world, and the amount of decision-making is dizzying. I'm better at observation than ideation.

3. ​​Is there a trope you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole?

I don't write explicit content, and so that eliminates a great many tropes, and thankfully, most of the worrisome ones. Any sort of suffering for suffering's sake is off the table. Let's just say that, in general, I try to avoid gratuity and extremes.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

If I talk about ideas, I get the gratification of having shared them without having done any of the work, and am therefore less likely to produce the actual thing! It's for everyone's benefit that I keep my cards close to my chest.

5. Share one of your strengths.

Leaving the reader going "Oh!" or "Oh." at the end of a fic.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

The outrageous inability to write a real plot or anything long. I've studied Dan Harmon's Story Circle and Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey but run into the problem I have in many facets of life: I'm better at theory than praxis. Filling in the gaps with what actually happens in a story shatters my brain. This has everything to do with the fact that I don't think in language or events, but rather impressions. Having to translate thoughts into words is difficult enough when it's 500 words. Over 5000, and I start repeating phrases and tangling imagery and tripping over myself. It's a mess.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

My pieces are basically snippets themselves. 😕

​​8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

Nearly every line of dialogue in scales & measure is written one or two steps away from what the characters are actually saying. The quippy humor also works well in that fic.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

scales & measures (because it was over 5000 words) and absolute bearing (because I wrote it in a pandemic during finals​ and had many people asking for it).

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

the refrigerator and velocity were written in fugue states.​

11. ​​Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

​It's a hobby, but an important one. I used to play instruments or draw, but as I got older and busier, those skills atrophied and I could no longer express myself with them. Writing, however, has (somewhat) stayed sharp because I use it in my day-to-day, and so I can still scratch that creative itch with it. When I don't write fiction, I crust over.

13. ​What's the best writing advice you've ever come across?

Answered here. ​15. ​If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

scales & measures or ever the survivor, maybe?

17. ​Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?​ ​Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Start-to-finish. If I'm in a real rut, out of order. No worksheets or outlines, we die like men.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Answered here. ​23. ​Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Passing on this one. It's too overwhelming.

29. ​If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

If a story has left me wanting more, then it did it right, and anything I could add would detract.

31. ​Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I prefer to be canon-compliant if only because I have more skill in research than I do in creation. Why make it up when I can look it up? Unless I think I can make things cooler or more logical than in canon. In which case....oops. Slipped.

37. ​Talk about your current wips.

• Death Stranding prompt: Fragile partnering with the UCA. • Control ficlet: Trench and the NSC. • Silicon Valley fic(let, maybe): Sorting Richard and Jared now that Jared no longer blindly idolizes Richard. • Resident Evil fic: Carlos(-centric) and Jill post-RE:3 to RE:5.

​38. ​Talk about a review that made your day.

On the hellscape that is the internet, I've somehow had the pleasure of receiving some of the kindest, most articulate comments. Like, really. The reviews my readers leave make me all flustered. I'm so thankful.

Ones that stuck with me, though: Both @visualheresy​ and @tallmatcha​ have read fics of mine that aren't even in fandoms they follow, and took the time to comment, saying they were beautiful. And I think about that a lot. Like, it wasn't even their thing, they were just there for my writing, even if they didn’t understand the context, and that makes me watery inside if I think about it too much.

#asks #ask meme #writing #visualheresy

[mittensmorgul]

Can I vent about writing for a second?? I'm having the hardest time coming up with a title for my story. I want something that fits the genre and grabs attention but also isn't generic and makes sense in the context of the story. I know you can't convey everything with just the title, but i've never had this much trouble coming up with something i like:/

Hi there! I’m always happy to try and help anyone out with writing-related things, but I feel I need to lay out some information about myself for two reasons. First off, I... am not good at titles. But second, the fact that I think I’m not good at titles might make you feel better about your own titling issues. :’D

Lets start with some facts about Mittens Titles:

You know how google docs tries to make you give something a title before you close the doc or send a link to someone (beta reader, etc.)? Yeah, I’ve forced myself into the habit of giving all docs “working titles” even if I end up changing it before I post. Sometimes I go through a LOT of different titles, sometimes the working title I thought was dumb ends up being the best thing I can think of and it stays as the title.

Revenge of the Subtext was titled “Fuck Titles” for MONTHS. Because I couldn’t think of anything to call it. I almost published it with that for a title.

The fic I’m currently working on was called “Untitled document” until a few days ago. I’ve been writing it since... September... 9 I think? Nearly two months to throw a couple words up there so gdocs wouldn’t save it as “Chapter 1″ (since gdocs will default to the first line as a title, and if it had its way, every fic I’ve ever written would just be called “Chapter 1″ which is obviously not useful for filing purposes). I have no idea what I’ll eventually call it, but it’s a pinefest fic, so that’s a problem for Future Mittens.

I think Talkin’ Bear Mountain Picnic was called something like “Little Truths” or something for the longest while, which I hated completely.

The Exception To Every Rule was originally called Project Stardust. Lifetime Piling Up was called, incredibly creatively, “dcbb 2019″ for a while. “It’s Destiny” and “It’s Lily Dale” were both titled at one point or another “Miserable Moose.” Until I Know This Sure Uncertainty was originally called EVERYBODY SWAP. Ultraviolet was just called NYOOOOOOM for the longest time.

Winchester 275 wasn’t supposed to be the title. I just stuck it up there because I didn’t want to forget that’s what I’d named Dean’s ranch while I was writing, because I’d gone through about six different names for the thing by that point. I figured I wouldn’t forget if it was in big bold letters at the top of the page. By the time I was halfway through writing the fic, I realized I actually liked it as a title.

Project Beyonce just... got out of hand. :’D

So as soon as I think of anything better than “Untitled document” to call a fic, I slap the title on there. Then I continue to stare at it and hope I come up with something better before I post the thing. Sometimes they change many times. Sometimes I decide the original title is good enough. Mostly the titles I end up posting with are just whatever happens to be in the title spot on the day I post.

I honestly don’t even consider whether it’s attention-grabbing or not. Mostly I think my titles are either little personal jokes or references that probably nobody else gets, but I find amusing (lol I should probably post explanations of all my titles, because some of them are really wackadoo), or just... something that sounded good enough to me to slap it on there. Which is making me think of my current writing project (and feeling like I should be working on that now whoopsie), because I didn’t think the words I put in the title box last night would ever in a million years be the final title (and they still might not be), but the longer I look at them the more I like it.

Generic is FINE! I have fics posted called “Sunset” and “Makeshift” and “Eleven.” Because I couldn’t think of anything better. Pretty generic stuff.

I’m not even sure all my titles seem to “fit” with my fics. I mean, do most people get the Talkin’ Bear Mountain Picnic reference, and how it fits perfectly with that fic? It’s a little bit obscure. I mean, all the fics I’ve titled after songs kind of are that way. Ultraviolet and Lifetime Piling Up, possibly. Did anyone get that The Terminal Job was a Leverage reference? *shrug emoji*

For Pinefest, I wasn’t even trying :’D

I’ve quoted Shakespeare for titles, Jules Verne, Led Zeppelin, The Talking Heads, U2, Bob Dylan, Soundgarden, Jensen Ackles for a stupid pirate joke he likes to tell, and Supernatural itself. Sometimes I use cliches or common phrases (like Working out the Kinks, or Two for the Price of One), and well-known concepts (like Rule 34 or Plotbunny), and simple plays on words (like Oh, Hell No, or In Jeopardy!).

Is there a concept or phrase you repeat throughout the fic? If so, play with that. A song you associate with the story, or imagine playing at some point during the story? Maybe pull a relevant line from it? Or do what I do and just throw something up there for now, and see if it grows on you. I usually find that by the time I’m ready to post, SOMETHING will seem relevant and thematically on target to feel right.

Seriously, anything can be a title, and I have no idea how to magically come up with one, aside from just playing around with words until something just clicks for you.

#writing is hard #titles are the worst #seriously i think i even long ago had a tag for #fuck titles #like back in 2015 :'D #Anonymous

[azuregold]

(struggling to figure out how to ask all of them... also obv no spoilers ;u;) okay for character specific questions: 13 I don't think I've questioned any character's actions so ┐( シ)┌ 14 I guess Zoro?? maybe Travis 21 tell me about the human experiences of Luffy! 22 Zoro 30 eh just ramble about the Straw Hats living human lives? 42, 43, 49 & 50 all of the crew when they were in Earthverse !

These were fun! Well, most of them. For questions 21, 30, 42, 43, 49, and 50…they aren't things I've thought too much about before. I'm not in the right frame of mind to try at the moment and I didn't want to let the ask sit there unanswered until I did manage to think of something, so I'm just going to go ahead and skip them for now, sorry! ^^;

1: what inspires you?

Having a good idea I can be excited about? IDK. X'D

2: one of your favorite comments/reviews on this chapter/verse?

I love all my comments. ;u; I love the comments that go into detail about what they thought, the comments that are just a mess of flailing, the comments that tell me they stayed up all night reading, the comments that are just a line or two to say they liked it, and everything in between. Even if I could decide on one to use as an example, I wouldn't want to make anyone feel like I didn't appreciate their comment because it didn't look like that one.

3: what motivates you?

Being excited about an idea, getting to write a part I've been looking forward to, getting a nice comment on a fic, having the house to myself.

4: what time of the day/night do you like to write?

Either afternoon or at night once my mom's gone to bed.

5: do you write scenes in a linear fashion or do you write future scenes/dialogues sometimes?

I'll write snippets of future scenes if I think of something I don't want to lose, but otherwise I write pretty much linearly (aside from going back to rewrite previous scenes/chapters).

6: hardest/easiest character to write for?

I don't know if any of them are easy, exactly. It also depends on the scene and what they're going to be doing. Sometimes I know exactly how they'll behave, and sometimes I just can't picture how a character would react to a particular event or line of dialogue.

But generally Zoro isn't too bad. (Also Travis, because he's my character, though that still doesn't mean I know how he'll respond to things all the time, unfortunately.) Hardest is probably Flirty!Sanji and Franky. I've never tried writing from Franky's point of view, but he's hard enough from someone else's that I'm not eager to try. Chopper and Robin aren't too bad from someone else's POV, but I think I might have trouble writing from theirs. And Luffy can be difficult occasionally, depending on the situation. (Also Sven is hard, even though he’s my character.)

7: hardest/easiest verse to write for?

Well, I only have one at the moment, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Though once I actually start writing some of my other ideas, I have a feeling Mistyverse will still be the easiest, just because I've been working in it for so long.

8: (if you have either or both) how do you manage time with writing, work, school etc.?

Very badly. ^^;; I'm terrible at time management.

9: what tv shows, books, or movies inspire for this verse, if any?

Story-wise, I can't think of anything specific (there may have been and I've just forgotten, but). Character-wise, Archer from Fate/Stay Night and Furuya Rei/Amuro Tōru/Bourbon from Detective Conan were a big influence when I was developing Travis.

10: any writing advice?

I don't feel confident enough to give advice to other people, haha.

11: (if you use) what do you like about archiveofourown?

The tag system. It can be very helpful in finding a certain subject or giving me a better idea of what the fic is about. Also the "mark for later" option. And the ability to have a series. It makes it much easier not to miss things when there are multiple fics in a story. And I like that the author isn't sent a notice when someone subscribes/can’t see the names of people who have subscribed. I feel much less awkward about subscribing to fics that are years old or about a very guilty pleasure. :P

12: anything you would do to make archiveofourown different/change it?

I…kind of have a list…

– Add a way to sort subscriptions by fandom! Sometimes I want to reread fic for a particular series and if I don't remember the title(s), going through multiple pages of fics and opening them one by one is such a pain.

– Give us a way to mark main vs. minor characters and relationships in fics. It's really annoying searching for fics about a certain character or pairing and getting dozens of fics that focus on someone/thing else entirely, with whatever you were looking for getting maybe a couple of scenes in the background. I've seen authors try to tag things to indicate this themselves, but most (including me ^^; ) don't do it, and in any case, I'd like an actual option I can mark in a search.

– It'd be cool to be able to put spoiler warnings on tags. Click to view, highlight, something.

– Filter IDs are very helpful, but it would be so much easier if we could just click a button to exclude things like explicit fics, “multi” fics (I’m so tired of being overrun with smutty “multi” fics when I search for “gen” without a filter), NOTPs, fandoms I don’t like…and so on.

– Being able to choose whether or not crossovers are included in the search results. I like a good crossover, but sometimes I just want fics for the one series.

– Don’t have author replies count under total number of comments. Also a PM system would be nice.

(If any of this is possible and it’s just that I don’t know about it, someone please tell me. X’D)

14: what is the arc for this character (redemption, etc.)?

I find it hard to put things like this into words (and I don't want to give spoilers), so…I'm going to pass on this as well. ^^;

15: ask me any spoilers you’re curious about for a verse, and i’ll post the answer in the tags

I'm glad you didn't ask for any because usually I love giving spoilers but we're far enough into the story now that most things I could say are Big Spoilers for the climax/ending that I really don't want to give away ahead of time. So thanks for not tempting me. XD

16: do you ever hand write? why or why not?

Once in a long while, if I think of a line I don't want to forget after I've turned my computer off, I'll jot it down on a notepad so I'll remember it the next day. Otherwise, no. My handwriting is slow as molasses and makes my hand tired. ^^;

17: do you listen to music while you write?

Almost always. 8D Just instrumentals, though.

18: any fanmixes you’ve made for this fic/verse?

Not really, no. I have a playlist I use when I'm writing scenes with Travis, and I'm working on one for fight scenes in general, but that's the closest I've got.

19: any edits or art you’ve made for this fic/verse/any edits readers have made? if not, what visuals would you use for one?

All the art I've posted for Mistyverse is here (If I get any fanart in the future, that's where it will be, too). I have quite a bit of art I haven't posted, mostly of Travis or unfinished attempts to draw specific scenes (I have an attempted map of the island in OtMS that I'm too embarrassed to look at again X'D).

20: what songs were you listening to during this scene/chapter?Mostly I just shuffle my giant instrumental playlist. Or if I'm in the mood for something new, I go looking on YouTube or similar places for writing playlists. As far as music for specific scenes/chapters, I think I pretty much covered that in question 13 here.

22: favorite line/quote/inner monologue from this character?

Zoro… At the moment, probably:

Zoro's heart had nearly stopped when he'd seen those hands. Or it would have, if he'd still had one.

Damn it, when did I start stealing Brook's lines?

23: feelings on epistolary fic?

It can be interesting. c: I like it best when letters/diary entries/whatever are mixed with more traditional narrative, but they can make for a fun story.

24: do you outline?

Yep! Not super-detailed outlines, usually, but I prefer having some sense of where things are going.

25: if you outline, do you edit it frequently?

Not that often, no. I don't think I've even looked at the outline for FMaA in a while, actually, because things got very vague toward the end, outside of a few specifics, and I have most of the necessary info in my head at this point.

26: anything you’re planning to write in your fic that you’re worried readers might like?

I think this is supposed to be "that you're worried readers might not like". Because otherwise…why would someone liking my stuff make me worried? Barring creepy stalkers and the like. Assuming it's "not"…

Ohhh yeah. I might hide under the covers for about a week when I post those parts… X’D

27: when you read fic, how often do you comment?

Not…very often. ;;OTL I know how much comments mean to writers, especially now that I've had firsthand experience, but I still find it a difficult thing to do. And lately, when I do comment, more often than not I do it anonymously, even if all I have to say is praise. It's just more comfortable for me that way. If I leave a signed in comment, it usually means I really liked the fic.

28: any scene/line you wrote that you didn’t expect to write/that surprised you once it was written?

Uhh…first thing that comes to mind is when they were at the museum and got roped into playing themselves. I had planned for their disguises to be seen through and for it to be assumed that they were cosplaying, but the rest of it just sort of happened. Including Maya; I knew she was going to be in the story, but I didn’t know she was going to be on that island or working at the museum until she showed up in the fruit room. X’D I don’t even remember how I was originally going to introduce her, except that it was going to be a lot closer to the end.

29: do you eat or drink anything while you write?

Not while I'm writing, but I like to have a drink and sometimes a snack before I start. Most often chai. It helps me get in the mood.

32: what are your stats for this story/verse?

Is…this supposed to mean, like…number of kudos/comments/hits. etc? If it means something else, someone tell me and I'll adjust my answer. :P

Just doing the two main fics (and on FFN the shorts are part of OtMS anyway, so):

On the Misty Shore

AO3 – Kudos: 75, Comments: 11, Bookmarks: 10, Hits: 1350

FFN – Reviews: 86, Favorites: 165, Followers: 63, Communities: 1, Views: 21,005

From Mist and Ashes

AO3 – Kudos: 117, Comments: 37, Bookmarks: 17, Hits: 1739

FFN – Reviews: 94, Favorites: 101, Followers: 129, Views: 11.433

33: favorite one-shot you’ve written?

Ah…hmm. I haven't actually written any one-shots as in "self-contained, stand-alone story" yet (I have plans!). Out of the one-shot extras that I wrote for Mistyverse…maybe Proof? It was the most self-indulgent of the three and the most fun to write.

34: a scene/paragraph you wrote that you’re proud of

I'm pretty happy with most of the stuff in chapters 18 and 19…and the scene in 16 where Zoro reveals himself…and Zoro and Travis’s fight in the museum in 15…and probably more that I’m not thinking of, but I’m not going to reread the whole thing again right now. :P

35: any foreshadowing/symbolism you wrote that you hope readers didn’t miss?

Yes, but at the same time I hope most people don't put the pieces together until things get revealed later.

36: any scenes you wrote that parallel the canon verse?

I guess maybe the stuff with Zoro and Chidori in 17? Kind of?

37: do you use quotes in the beginning notes/intro to your chapters? if so, what are some of your favorites/what are their significance?

Nope, I don't.

38: do you title your chapters? what’s your favorite chapter title? what’s its significance/why did you choose it?

Yes, I love titling chapters. Even when I can't think of anything good. Favorite chapter title is definitely Law and Order. Because it has a double meaning/pun (the structure and rules of Whitestone + Law showing up at the end).

39: any alternate fic titles you were considering for this verse?

I had a couple others I was playing with, at least for FMaA, but who knows what they were? Not me. XD

40: chapter you’re most proud of in this verse?

At the moment, I'd say it's a tossup between 15, 16, 18, and 19.

41: chapter that was the most fun to write in this verse?

Hmm. 12 was the easiest, and it's always fun when I'm not struggling with a chapter. The whole arc on Crinia (chapters 13 – 15) was pretty fun, even when it got difficult. 18 – 19, too. And I felt like chapter 20 was crap while I was writing it, but it was silly fun, and it doesn't seem as terrible when I reread it now.

44: have you shared your outline with anyone? if so, what did they think of it?

The outline itself, no. Parts of it are pretty different from what I actually ended up writing; it might be fun to share some of it sometime. c:

45: anyone you share excerpts with?

*pokes you​* And I've posted a few here before, too. They're usually pretty short, though. Just a line or two.

46: story with the most kudos (AO3)?

From Mist and Ashes.

47: story with the most comments?

From Mist and Ashes again. :P

48: a happy future moment you’ve written/have planned for this ship? (will post under read more for spoilers)

*ignores the "ship" part* Hmm…I have no idea if I'll ever actually write it, but in my list of ideas for FMaA bonus scenes I have one where Zoro cooks for everyone (just because he can't eat anymore doesn't mean he can't cook—he lived on that island by himself for a long time before he died, after all). Also (for the benefit of anyone else reading this), sircerenade and I have discussed Brook and Zoro bonding over stuff before (being "grandpa figures", sharing skull/ghost jokes, etc.). Some of it may be more bittersweet than happy, but it’s a cute bittersweet, so.

#From Mist and Ashes