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#I am in such a need of a distraction with everything going on
This is more personal rambling than anything else (for reasons that will become clear lol), but I'm currently in the worst phase for my ADHD.
I'm pretty lucky with it by and large - there are some symptoms of ADHD that I would hate, loathe and detest having, and I don't have them. My sister has emotional dysregulation and very mild RSD, and fuck me, I would hate to have those. I also don't have anything close to the conversational impulsivity that people stereotypically think of with it, so that's a whole thing I don't have to deal with. My addictive tendencies are pretty mild. The symptoms I do have are moderate, sometimes mild. It could be a lot, lot worse.
BUT I am currently in the danger zone, as it were. Something I'm prone to, for good or bad, is that when I'm going through a busy period with a fixed deadline (end of term, last submissions of my PCET and the exam boards all happened in the last two weeks), it's like I'm running through a tunnel with a comically oversized mallet. I have set goals, and set deadlines. This means that I know exactly which tasks I need to focus on, and complete, and so everything else can be safely ignored or batted forward with the mallet to deal with after the tunnel. And this starts mild, the tunnel is fairly wide; but, as I keep going, I go faster and faster and it gets narrower and narrower until even things like "Answering texts from friends" gets blasted back up that tunnel, straight into the "Deal With Later" pile.
But then the deadline arrives, and I get everything in, and it's all over, and I plummet out of the tunnel -
And find I'm in a massive open field, with pretty wildflowers dancing in the breeze, and all those things I was ignoring and punting up the tunnel ahead of me are scattered all around. There is no direction in the field. The Things are randomly scattered. I need to pick them all up in turn to work out how important they are, and what order to now do them in; but there are so very many, and some are hidden in the grass, and I am tired from the tunnel and want to look at the flowers. Sometimes I pick one up and start sprinting with it, because that's what I'm now used to doing; but then it's done really quickly, or I trip over another hidden one, and so I get distracted.
And that's how I feel at the minute. I'm in the 'drifting in a field' phase. Limited motivation to do anything, surrounded by the detritus of stuff I put off, needing to get my shit together and struggling to do it. I almost miss the tunnel - the tunnel gave a direction and also permission to ignore things. The field gives neither. It's not overwhelm as such - it's like the sudden lifting of pressure, and now I'm unravelling as a result.
Ironically - or possibly aptly - I don't know where I'm going with this
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moonydustx · 2 days
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Am I really late with all the requests? Yes. Would I have peace until I wrote Law's angst with his daughter that I mentioned here? HELL NO
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The diagnosis
Law x F!Reader (but the main focus is Law with your daughter, Rosi)
warnings: angst, a lot of angst. Hurt/Comfort. Mentions of Dressrosa's arc, F!Reader and the crew are in Zou. Rosi is around seven years old, a child still learning to deal with feelings. Some things may be non-canon.
a/n: I've had this idea saved and drafted since I posted pt.01 of Law x F!Pregnant!Reader and as I had a few minutes left today, I decided to take them out of the draft.
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Perhaps not even the heavens knew how long he had waited for this moment. How much he feared that this moment would never come.
The path guided by the vivre card seemed further from what he imagined, tireless steps in a direction in which he was guided. But Law knew what that racing heart in him meant, the sweat on his hands, the anxiety on his body. He had managed to return to his family.
Law barely had time to prepare himself before he saw Bepo run towards him, his body immediately bent to support the weight of the huge bear on top of him. He couldn't deny it, he was happy to see the crew again and they were an essential part of the family.
The small makeshift house in Zou was more than enough for you and Rosi, in addition to the crewmates who sometimes stayed there to provide some help or company. However, this time you could hear a commotion outside, something atypical for the time of day. Still wearing a kitchen apron, preparing lunch for the two of you - three in this case, Ikkaku was distracting Rosi outside and would definitely be invited to join you, you tried to reach the knife you had used earlier. The tool stopped being necessary as soon as you saw the person you most looked forward to seeing enter right behind Bepo.
"Law?" your voice barely came out, barely kept up with the speed of your thoughts or your body throwing itself against his. "I was so worried!" at that moment, your voice was already breaking with the tears held in for so long.
"I'm sorry for not giving you any news." he began, pressing your body tight against his and filling every bit of skin he could find with kisses. "I missed you so much."
"Hey, where's the little one?" Bepo asked, looking around. You let go of your husband just enough to answer him.
"She and Ikkaku had left, but they should be arriving soon." Turning your attention to Law, you took his hand and guided him to the table. "I know you must be tired, but I need to know everything that happened."
Even though he was tired, Law knew he owed you that. Crewmates had given a little preview of your situation as soon as they saw you arrive. "And you just took a good ton off your wife's shoulders." The phrase still danced in his mind as he recounted his solo adventure in a more superficial way.
It didn't take long for the story to be interrupted again, but this time, with a little comfort for Law. Rosi's laugh reached his ears even before the girl appeared in his field of vision. However, something felt off.
"Daddy?" The laughter seemed to disappear as soon as she found her father's figure sitting at the table.
"My little princess!" Law got up excitedly to go towards her and saw her retreat and go behind Ikkaku and then run away to go back to the yard.
"Rosi!" Your tone of voice, despite not getting any louder, became firmer and all it took was an exchange of glances with Ikkaku for her to help you and go after the girl.
You could feel the gazes of the other companions burning in your direction and even Law analyzing you in a way that you knew he had doubts, but that would be for later.
"So… Luffy helped you?" Penguin tried to return to the topic and you could notice your husband continuing the conversation.
A much less interested tone of voice than before accompanied the small glances he took towards the door, waiting for his little one to return.
At lunch time, Ikkaku managed to bring the girl back and together, they had lunch. You and Law were still able to exchange topics between you, but you could both notice that the girl only exchanged words with Ikkaku and just moved the food from one side to the other.
"Dear?" your sweet voice tried to call her and you could see her eyes shining towards you, identical to Law's. "What happened? You barely ate."
"From what I remember, it's your favorite dish, isn't it?" Law added, having noticed the same thing.
The girl just looked at him and then at the plate. A small, barely audible "yes" left her lips, before she could push the plate away and leave the three of you adults behind at the table. The sigh coming from you was audible at the same time as you put your hands to your face and clearly frustrated, you went after your little girl.
"Captain?" Ikkaku caught his attention, who seemed still inert in the scene he had just witnessed, with a small murmur from him, she knew she could continue. "I know you have your worries and I bet you arrived tired, but…" she indicated where you were sitting at the table. "It wasn't just Rosi who didn't touch the food."
"What have I missed in this time away?" he asked immediately, seeing his crewmate get up and touch his shoulder, gently.
"It's been a difficult time captain. Your girls will soon be completely happy again."
Law had this dizzying thought in his head throughout the afternoon. Knowing that you were busy with Rosi and that his doubts would likely remain in the air, he sought out the second group of people he might know.
"I need help." Law arrived at the small circle, warning the other three that they were starting to walk in an unknown direction. "Can you help me?"
"We're going to have a drink, but speak up, captain." Shachi encouraged, throwing his arm over Law's shoulder.
"Have you lost the knack of seducing your own wife?" Penguin tried to do the same and ended up being pushed away just like the other one.
"Nothing like that. I want to know what happened to the two of them while I was away. What has been happening to my wife and daughter." Almost tangibly, Law felt the air become heavy and his colleagues' expressions became more serious. "I knew something had happened."
"You should ask your wife." Shachi insisted.
"No." Bepo interrupted. "We know she won't tell everything and that she and Rosi have been at it for a while."
"What happened?" Law said more rudely, he was no longer anything more than a bundle of worries.
"In the first few days, Rosi suffered a lot, I think it was a lot of different things all at once. But there was the small incident with the vivre card." the bear began, receiving the captain's full attention. "We know that at some point you were on the verge of death and well, they noticed."
"What do you mean they noticed?"
"Do you think a wife wouldn't look at the vivre card of her husband who went on a practically suicidal mission?" Penguin pointed out as if it were obvious. "We were all together and trying to calm her down. Rosi wasn't home, so we didn't worry too much.
"Fuck." Law murmured, suspicious of the direction that story could take. He remembered giving her the paper as a way of reassuring the girl. The plan had apparently gone wrong.
"So, they both saw you kind of die and come back into their hands. Ikkaku was with Rosi and took her back home…" Bepo seemed hesitant to continue, but Law's incisive look didn't allow it. "She was desperate, as any child would be, I think."
"After that, Rosi became like this, more quiet in her own way. It's been a bit of work to eat, to socialize, she seems to be keeping everything to herself." Shachi took on a serious tone that Law wasn't used to seeing.
Shit, shit and a thousand times shit.
"Captain!" Law felt Bepo pull him back. "I know you must be worried, but it's good to cool your head before talking to them."
"I just want to show them that I'm okay." he insisted, but gave up. Leaning against the nearest tree and taking a deep breath, trying to get your head straight. "I'm a terrible father."
"I do not think so." again, Shachi's rare serious tone appeared. "If it was, they wouldn't have missed you so much."
Night fell and Law hesitated a bit before entering the house again. He was the one who had caused the strange atmosphere, he was the one who was making his girls barely eat. How to live with that?
As soon as he entered, he could see you collecting some dishes, alone in the kitchen. Taking slow steps and being careful not to scare you, he wrapped his hands around your waist, letting his face sink into your neck.
"I know I have some things to retract." he murmured against your skin, placing a light kiss. "I know I owe a lot to you and our girl and I know I gave you both a real scare."
"Babe…"
"I'm sorry." he asked and found your eyes flooding, just the mention seemed to hurt you again. "Forgive me"
"I understand well how vivre cards work, but I won't deny the scare." you chose to leave most of the drama out, turning to him and watching Law dry the few tears that were running down your face.
"Our babygirl doesn't understand, does she?"
"Our babygirl doesn't understand." you agreed. "I talked to her today, she says she feels kind of sick when she's around you. I said luckily her dad is a great doctor. You should go talk to her." you insisted and saw him nod, but remain still, just taking in what to expect. "Honey, she's fine. She's just trying to deal with everything that happened. She loves you unconditionally."
"I-I'll go there."
It was like when he found out about your pregnancy or like when he held little Rosi in his arms for the first time. The nervousness, the insecurity of seeing little Rosi again.
He leaned against the doorstep and for a few seconds, he saw her distracted with some drawings on paper. From afar he could recognize Bepo, you and the others amidst the scribbles.
"Hey!" he tried to attract attention in a pleasant way, seeing the girl startle and look in his direction. "It's okay. Can I stay here for a little while?"
"Yes Dad." she replied in a low tone again.
Dodging some toys on the floor, he walked over to the bed, sitting down and looking around. It wasn't as crowded a room as hers at Polar Tang, but it felt cozy. Next to her pillow rested the small plush he had given as a gift, which was next to her hat - identical to his - and a photo of the two of them, taken in a park that Rosi made Law go to absolutely every attraction.
"Your drawings are cool." he tried to start a conversation and saw her nod. "Your mommy told me you haven't been feeling well."
"Yeah, I feel weird." she limited herself to punctuating, not knowing how to put into words what she felt.
"Come here so I can take a look." Law asked and stretched out his hand to her.
Rosi approached and letting his medical instincts guide, Law analyzed the girl from top to bottom, eyes, throat, everything within reach of his eyes. However, he could notice that the girl avoided looking directly at him.
"Let me see… Is this right too?" He squeezed her sides, tickling her. For a brief moment, Rosi allowed herself to laugh, but then pushed Law's arms away. "My love, tell me what you're feeling."
"I don't know." she murmured, her eyes looking away from him again.
Gently he took her small chin between his fingers and turned her towards him.
"You know you can trust me, don't you?" he asked and saw her nod, her bottom lip trembling slightly. "Explain to me in your own way, what you're feeling."
"Here, it feels like there's something here and it's burning, like it's stuck." she pointed to her throat and then to where her little heart was. "And here, sometimes it feels like someone is squeezing really hard."
"Squeezing hard?" he touched gently, feeling the girl's accelerated heartbeat.
It was a complex diagnosis and if Law didn't know what had happened - and how much love his relationship with his daughter carried, it would have been impossible to discover. But, he had a brief hunch.
"I think I know what it could be." he said, with a small smile on his lips. "Do you trust me?"
"Yes." she nodded along.
Law held her small hands and brought them to his face, just like he did with his hands. As soon as she did, he could see her lip tremble even more. Poor little girl. What had he done to leave her without information?
"You can feel my face, can't you?" he asked and she nodded. "And you can feel me too, can't you?"
Law lightly squeezed one of her cheeks, trying in vain to get a laugh from the girl. He didn't know if he could handle the girl's tears.
"Now I want you to take a deep breath, like this…" he breathed in and saw her do the same. Soon after, he exhaled and saw her repeat the gesture too. "Can you keep doing that while daddy talks to you?"
Again the girl nodded, now her eyes seemed focused on every movement Law made. Trying to reassure her, Law let her take a deep breath before starting.
"I know I scared you and that you saw my vivre card disappear, I know you thought I was gone." Just those words were able to bring a few sobs out of the girl and Law would be lying if he said that his own eyes weren't burning. "I know that a lot has changed and that I wasn't here to help you. I wanted to apologize for that. Forgive me, my little princess?"
Rosi, who was already just sobs and tears, allowed herself to cry again after a while. Law didn't hesitate to hold the little girl in a hug, his eyes that used to burn now shed tears without hesitation.
"I - I thought y-you weren't... y-you weren't c-coming back." the girl said through sobs, each one breaking Law's heart.
"You and your mother are the most important things I have in my entire life. I would never leave you." he explained, seeing that it only made her cry even more. "I promise never do that again."
"Do you really promise?"
"With all my life." The girl's crying still seemed inconsolable and Law wondered for a brief moment how much hurt she had held, how many nights she had gone to sleep thinking that her own father would never return. "It's okay my love, I'm here. Daddy promises to never leave you."
In the distance, you could hear the crying and small words of reassurance exchanged between the two. Little by little, your little family was getting back on track.
As soon as the crying stopped, Law could see the girl's eyes get heavy and it didn't take long for her to fall asleep. One of her arms tied to his as if to prevent him from disappearing from her sight. Her diagnosis was almost as simple as the one he had given himself: she just missed him, the same as he missed his little girl.
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what-gs-watching · 20 hours
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“Breathe it in baby, because I am EXUDING and I am one of a kind.”
Okay so, I fell behind in Doctor Who because I’ve been job searching for like seven fucking months and a few weeks ago one came up that could be a good fit so I was trying to super focus on doing well through the interview loop even though I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to amount to anything because I’d gone through a ton of interview loops by that point but 
Y’ALL, I GOT THAT JOB! My horrible, soul-sucking ordeal is finally over, the paperwork is signed and I have a start date and everything has settled. Which means, I can finally catch up on 15 and my girl Ruby. 
Let’s gooooo!
73 Yards
Alright, I know there was upset around this episode because everyone is like ‘what the eff does it mean?’ but ooooh, I really enjoyed it. It was creepy as HELL and it just never stopped.
Wherein, Ruby and the Doctor pop over to Wales (this mofo really spends much too much time in Wales) and while on a cliffside, he steps on something AGAIN!!!!! and everything goes wrong.
Baby boy, did you not learn anything from the mine? Do you not take a scan around when you land somewhere, or are you just too excited about being adorable in your little yellow jacket and the hat and the stripes? You look fantastic, I get it, but peep down at those cute ass boots once in a while. 
I have to say, I’m impressed by Millie Gibson in this episode. It’s a lot of pressure to put on her to carry the entire thing, and she did it really well. How devastating is it to have your best friend disappear, realize you’re being followed by some crazy apparition that literally scares anyone and everyone away from you? 
Without any explanation. That’s the part that gets me. She becomes a piranha with this horrific THING attached to her and everyone she begs for help leaves her. Eve her MOTHER! It’s a mind fuck.
And I really wasn't sure where the episode was going, so I was excited for Kate Lethbridge-Stewart to show up, I was like ‘yeah let’s get UNIT into this mess’ and then she’s affected too and oh hell, that’s like, the last line of defense. 
Ruby, completely and utterly alone. And they just make her live out her entire life like that. And she tries to fix it, of course, the whole thing with the Welsh politician was a really good attempt babe, I would have done the same thing but then that doesn’t even work?!
And so everyone is all ruffled because, what was the point of it, really? What was the message, what was the meaning??!
Was she actually the apparition? If not, who was she? And then, it just ends and none of it ever really happened at all and there’s absolutely no resolution. 
Why do we love making companions live these horrible alternate timelines? How many times did we make Amy live different lives? I feel like she at least remembered most of them. But with Ruby in this one, there’s no lesson. She learns nothing, neither of them do.
But still, I loved the creeping sense of unease, so I guess I don’t really need all the details.
Dot and Bubble
I’m simultaneously annoyed and intrigued by shows that keep telling me allegories about the dangers of technology and how dependent we are on it. So far, it’s mostly been annoyed, but oh my god y’all really hit the nail on the head with this one.
Wherein, a bunch of privileged youths are existing in a perfect society that enables them to basically LIVE social media, literally surrounded by a bubble that feeds them other people’s inanity all day long. 
One thing I have to say about this episode is that the angles are something else. Lindy, the girl we’re seeing everything through is alternately absolutely beautiful, and kind of weird looking? She’s got perfect social media face. Is that a weird thing to say? I stand by it. It’s like she’s covered in the perfect ring light. It was distracting. And probably part of the point. 
Basically, this girl has no idea that there are monsters in her fake ass society that are eating her friends, and she is very not into the Doctor and Ruby trying to help her. Like, they’re trying to get her out of danger, only to find out that she doesn’t have any idea how to walk without wearing her ‘bubble’ is so deeply disturbing. Watching this girl say “forward” to convince herself to move is amazing and upsetting on a lot of different levels. 
And then out of nowhere, media star Ricky September shows up and he literally starts giving her directions like the bubble would do and I’m like ‘okay that’s interesting’, we’re subverting the idea that this incredibly popular personality is a vapid idiot because it turns out he READS and he’s taking pity on this girl that is literally a shell of a person without the aid of technology. And it was so sweet. 
Basically, this episode is infuriating because at one point Lindy hugs Ricky and tells him she’s never been hugged before (even though we know she at least has a mother) but THEN later, when the Doctor tells her everyone is being killed in alphabetical order and Ricky is trying to fight off the dot that is literally trying to murder her, she RATS HIM OUT. His real last name starts with C, he should be dead already. 
Confusingly innocent and absolutely cut throat at the same time? I guess if you live your entire life exclusively online you don’t go through things that would actually cultivate compassion? Which honestly, is not an unfounded idea. That should make y’all feel queasy. 
And to make it all exponentially worse, they flat out tell the Doctor they can’t accept his help because he’s not “one of us”. Just straight up, really gross, really overt racism. 
15, honey, I get it, but please  don’t beg racists to let them save you. You’re too good for this world, babes. That gut wrenching shout though? Absolute perfection. And the tears. You marvelous thing. 
TL;DR Humanity is disgusting and technology will continue to feed our uglier tendencies. I felt that one deep in my damn bones.
Rogue
Okay hear me out. This episode is EVERYTHING. 
Y’all know I have a thing for boys in love. And I also have a thing for the Doctor flirting with basically anyone. I don’t particularly have a thing for the regency era necessarily, but I AM about incredible costumes and ridiculous plots. 
I was honest to god squealing this entire episode.
Wherein, 15 and Ruby show up to a ball in 1813 so they can pretend they’re in Bridgerton, meet a handsome young bounty hunting rake, talk a LOT about cosplaying, and deal with bird???! aliens???
There are a million details I loved in this one. The orchestra playing an instrumental version of “Bad Guy” and then later “Pokerface”. The absolutely incredible suit they put on 15. 
Not to mention: JONATHAN GROFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loved him in Mindhunter, loved him in Glee (before it got absolutely ridiculous and when I didn’t know any better) but holy shiiiiiit I would watch him as Rogue every. damn. day. 
River Song will always and forever be my number one love for the Doctor, but I was absolutely immediately charmed by Rogue. I’m not sure why, and it doesn’t really matter. 
How absolutely adorable was the psychic paper displaying “you’re hot”? Or the bit where the Doctor figures out Rogue’s ship is wired for sound and the system blares “Can’t Get Your Outta My Head” and he lip syncs along while Rogue dies of embarrassment? 
The entire episode was just two dorks flirting and my heart was so happy. I don’t know why, but when 15 started singing “Pure Imagination” while showing Rogue around the Tardis, I thought I was going to die. 
I love that he can be so carefree and fun and adorable, but also extremely emotional and unafraid to show it. We’ve seen so many different facets of 15 already, and his obvious and silly flirty self is definitely my favorite part so far. 
Also, the fact that the Chuldur (again, bird aliens I guess? Sure) were basically just a race that went around cosplaying other people was so camp. I’ve seen a lot of posts about how the newest theory is that 15 and Ruby are somehow in some weird sort of tv show universe this season, and this episode definitely fuels that a little bit. 
And maybe y’all are onto something with that, but I honestly don’t care to figure out what’s going on, I just want to be along for the ride.
Of course though, we can’t have an episode that’s all fun and games. The Doctor went all in on shooting his shot with Rogue and it distracted him and it put Ruby in trouble, because of course. Maybe we should stop promising random mothers that their kids are gonna be safe? Doctor, baby, you know that they aren’t always going to be safe. 
But if you weren’t charmed by Rogue before that point, you had to jump on his bandwagon when he pushes Ruby out of the transport trap and just says “Find me” before he’s blasted away with the stupid birds to some far off dimension. 
BALLER MOVE, baby boy. Baller ass move. Because ya know what? 15 is not going to be able to resist that. And you know how I know? Because that boy put your ring on his finger and I will ship the fuck out of you two forever and ever because of that. 
The doctor has definitely been known to  kiss people he’s only just met, but this time might be in the top 3. I thought Madame de Pompadour was good? Nah girl, ya bumped down. This kiss was better. Just me sat on the couch with heart eyes for days.
So yeah, I think I’ve decided I like letting a few stack up so I can watch them in a row. Watching them boomerang between crazy scenarios and thinking about all of that at the same time is more fun. 
I’m loving this season. It’s ridiculous, it’s different, it’s a bunch of things I didn’t even realize I wanted. Gimme more pleaaaaase.
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Angel + Vox & Nightmare
Gonna post this one to Ao3 later because it got long (5 sentences? No, 66 sentences!)
Of all the things Angel Dust wanted to be doing at 9 AM on a Saturday, climbing several flights of stairs to go wake up his boss’ ex had to be at the bottom of the list. Angel was more of a “sleep ‘til noon” type of guy anyway, and having to stop breakfast midway through to go figure out what was taking Vox so long was just adding insult to injury, at least in his opinion.
Counting the room numbers as he made his way down the hallway, Angel let himself indulge in petty complaints— partially because pointless bitching was one of his favorite pastimes, and partially because he needed any possible distraction from who he’d been sent to rouse.
Finally arriving at Room 418, Angel couldn’t help but snort to himself as he realized that paying attention to the room numbers had been wholly unnecessary; it was impossible to miss the large, blue “V” carved into the door. One of Vox and Pentious’ projects he guessed, based on how the “V” was actually properly carved into the door rather than burned or scratched in.
Of course he still has to put his fucking name on everything, even after—
Silencing that thought before it could finish, Angel approached the door and began wrapping on it impatiently.
“Vox. Wake up, ya lousy sonuvabitch, you’re missing’ breakfast. Charlie wants ya.”
He paused for a moment. No response. Well, that wasn’t surprising. Vox went missing all the time, either hiding in their electronics or popping up in weird areas of the hotel that he had no reason to go to. Still, better to make sure he wasn’t actually in there before going all the way back downstairs to report back to Charlie. Angel resumed knocking, raising his voice to be heard through the door. 
“Sparky, you alive in there? I ain’t got all day.” Maybe the demeaning nickname would work? …Nope, still nothing.
Thoroughly exasperated, Angel was ready to throw in the towel and go tell Charlie to find Alast- no, to find someone else to look for Vox, until he bent down to press his “ear” (the hair around where his ears used to be that allowed him hear? Angel didn’t know, his biology was weird.) to the keyhole, not expecting to hear anything.
But he did hear something.
It was faint, smothered by distance and the sound of static, but… it sounded like two people talking. Or rather, one person talking and the other one moaning. 
It was as though he’d suddenly been doused in ice water. Angel felt every muscle in his body tense, his mouth running dry. Not knowing what he hoped to accomplish, he found himself wrenching open the door, which, thankfully, turned out to be unlocked. 
Vox’s room was dark, illuminated only by the faint light of his static-filled screen. He was alone (thank God), lying on top of his bed, wires plugged into his charging terminal. Angel wished he could feel relieved, but the tension still remained, hanging heavy in the air like the humidity that preceded a thunderstorm.
Vox laid there, still as a corpse, the distorted speech coming from his speakers still too soft to properly make out.
“Vox?” Angel asked cautiously, taking a step into the room. He heard something crinkle under his foot. Looking down, Angel felt his stomach somersault as Valentino grinned back up at him from the crumpled magazine clipping. Angel recoiled, swearing under his breath, as he tore his eyes away from the ad and was forced to take in the rest of the room.
Items strewn across the ground— disassembled pieces of technology, stolen trinkets from around the hotel, Niffty’s weird attempts at “gifts”— a wall of ad clippings, half of which featured Velvette and Valentino… An unnamed feeling rose sharp and fast in Angel’s throat, mixing with the horror in a way that made him want to flee the room and never have to see it again. But before Angel could act on that impulse, his attention was brought back to the noise emanating from Vox’s speakers.
Faint as they may be, Angel knew those voices.
“Vox,” Angel repeated, picking his way towards him across the minefield of the floor. “Wake up. You’re–” You’re what? Dreaming? Fine? That was a fucking lie if Angel’d ever heard one.
Vox remained still as a statue as Angel approached the bed, the only sign of life being the high-pitched hum of his staticked-out screen. Angel glanced desperately between the terminal and Vox. How the fuck did you wake Vox up? Would unplugging him help or would it just cause a new problem? Angel was trying to decide what to do when suddenly, his attention snapped back onto the audio– the memory– coming out of Vox.
From a distance, the recording had been too soft and distorted to make out anything in particular, but here? Six feet away from the source? He could hear everything.
Noises somewhere between a dying dog and a severely malfunctioning computer. Pitiful whines, strangled groans, and a strange sound like the wind through the trees. And Alastor’s voice, airy and crooning, cutting through it all.
“There, there, we’re almost done. No need to be scared, I’m right here. Just breathe– there we go, that’s right. You’re doing so well.”
Panic spiked. That was– no no no no no NO.
“Vox! Vox! Wake up! Wake up, now!” Angel was shouting now, but to no avail. He wasn’t supposed to– no, he couldn’t hear this right now. He wheeled about, frantic, trying to think of something he could do to make those sounds stop. In his panic, he seized the nearest object– a large hunk of metal something-or-other– and threw it at Vox on his bed.
Vox jolted awake as the disassembled item made contact with his torso, yanking his power cords out of the terminal in his alarm. “Whzz- What? Wher-er-er-er-er–”
“Breakfast.” Angel spat, turning away from the glitching ex-Overlord and stalking out of the room– teeth gritted, eyes wide, nails digging into his arms.
He’d heard Vox make those sounds once before, and he’d never wanted to hear them again. Angel had never considered what else had been going on during that broadcast that the mics didn't hear.
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shanicetjn · 11 months
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Your OC in 3 Artworks
Wanted to do this meme and practice Illustrator...So uh- Ta-daa? ✨
Compiled - 26 July 2023
Original Meme Template (C) aubergieine
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bizarreandjarring · 1 year
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just an old hick goin' fishin
plus kim "i am winning at fishing. something which is both normal to want and possible to acheive" kitsuragi
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ref
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thinkin about all the ways that xenk and edgin parallel/complement each other
like. theyve both suffered terrible loss. edgin's is what drove him away from the harpers and 'doing the right thing'. xenk's is what drove him towards that very thing. edgin found a family despite his loss. every time we see xenk, he is doing his work alone. edgin and his family defeated the same evil that tore xenk from his. xenk brings to justice the man who nearly tore edgin's family apart. they are different sides of the same coin do you see
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soldier-poet-king · 7 months
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everything is making me emotional lately i have so many reads kinda put on the back burner, not bc i dont love them, but bc theyre affecting me TOO much and i cant handle it rn, and i cant handle the emotions of a reread of anything beloved rn yet either, so pick smthn i have on my shelves that i havent read yet and have few-to-nonexistent preconceived notions of/emotions about, so i can read it and hopefully cleanse my brain palate and stop being insane. classic fantasy is usually helpful when im in this sort of mood. but like. doesn't have to be
EDIT: for the 'smthn' categories - pls give me specific suggestions/titles i am a ball of horrible indecision atm
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ferretrix · 1 year
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casting a magic spell on my followers to make them witness my descent in a diary comics blog
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earlgreybocchan · 3 months
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Twitter getting obsessed with conspiracy theories about where redacted is makes me feel so fucking terrible when there is so much worse going on that people are literally begging you to pay attention to but instead you want to focus on scenarios you made up in your head and play true crime detective
#i saw five hundred women tweeting things like i am going to sound soo crazy at work talking about this 🤣🤣#you need to get the fuck off of twitter number one#ik i sound like i am on twitter too much but i genuinely have just been clicking on what's trending these past few days i have been sick#and its like yes the royal family sucks for five thousand reasons but there are actual atrocities happening right in front of our eyes#that are not a fucking mystery and you guys would rather think of literally anything else#based off of nothing. like i have been a billion tweets the past few days confidently listing off scenarios they know have happened to her#like yay you're so true crime you figured it out and its not even like these people care about women's well being either bc i saw all...#...kinds of nasty shit said about her when she said she was sick in the first place and all kinds of bad comments about how sick pregnancy.#...makes her feel so obviously on the most basic level you don't care about women to act like you now have a narrative from a true crime...#...podcast to project to someone. like you guys will get so distracted by anything#don't get me started on the oscars#everything feels so fucking bleak lately i also don't know how stuff like the election doesn't make everyone feel like they're losing it#like yeah the guy in the movie that's supposed to be about being a girl sang a little song does no one realize how all they're talking...#...about is the guy yet#wait no they're more worried about a bad photoshop than the massive amount of pictures of dead people my bad
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felizusnavidad · 5 months
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i have so many things tomorrow & i'm actually dying why is life so scary
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katsofmeer · 2 years
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oh the consumption of wuvvy’s love. how it eats her up inside and rue too. wuvvy wants everything to be just so, to be perfectly right for rue, not just in the physical world but internally. wuvvy would rearrange the furniture of rue’s mind if she could, tidy and clean their worries and concerns, dust away their fears. her devotion is huge and isn’t that terrifying, in a way, to stare into that maw. i just love how big her feelings are, and despite how much rue loves her in return they need more than pure devotion - needs a willingness to come to the plate and be vulnerable too, share her mess with them instead of always managing theirs. but in a way her love for them eclipses her ability to give them that because doing so would be acknowledging herself as equal partner, something she can’t bring herself to do. pride for her love, her capacity to love bigger and more giving than anyone, to bleed herself empty without asking - but rue doesn’t want that. they want someone to build something with, not to have everything built for them. gorgeous, truly gorgeous how oscar conceptualized both of these characters twisted up like vines with one another and then he and aabria knocked it out of the park performing the dynamic which is so understated and incredibly complex. when i say aabria & oscar ruewuvvy deep dive when i’m not kidding!!! i’m still in their clutches!!
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aria0fgold · 16 days
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Maybe I should just accept the fact that I'm bound to have writing WIPs and inch my way to completion with this thing by adding onto it day by day instead of fully completing the thing in a single day like I usually do.
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scarletcomet · 25 days
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I am so fucking miserable
#i cant keep living like this#i want to sh so bad rn#dying would solve all my problems#the problem is my top and probably most lethal method could result in like lost limbs if i fail#the more and more desperate i get though the less i care because i just need it to work#i can't do that to my family tho. they would be sad.#im such a burden on them tho#my depression is getting so bad that i can barely even function#i often feel the need to like escape whatever situation im in#it feels like the only way to stop feeling so miserable is to die#i can't take this anymore#43 days self-harm free but i could really use the distraction and the pain right now#ugh maybe my therapist was right when she mentioned going back to the hospital#at least then i wouldn't be expected to do all these things and act normal#i feel like i need to get through this weekend and then if im still feeling this way and insurance hasnt approved the ketamine#then i should consider hospital#but i have to go to philly for my twin sister's graduation. i am so happy for her and all but it's just going to be really hard#with how I've been feeling lately in addition to how graduation just reminds me of all my failures#i was supposed to graduate last weekend. my sister and i were supposed to graduate at the same time#all my friends are graduating too#and im as depressed and hopeless as ever#i dont know what to do#im going to ruin everything if i go but my sister will be upset if im not there#i just dont think i can handle being in philadelphia all weekend
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anirudhpisharody · 1 month
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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What is it about that Bastard Jock Hunnicutt that inspires such all out warfare amongst fans and shippers it's so sad and strange to me...... over here in Charlesblr every time I turn around the CharHawk and CharDonna ppl are making out with tongue. Hell nobody's even blocked ME yet and I'm into Charles/Klinger. Beej fans get out of the trenches he's not worth it!!
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