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feyhunter78 · 6 months

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I'm loving Morgue Nocturne, but I'm hoping to know when we will get a new Chapter of Among the Sun? 😊

Awww thank you!!!! Ya know what? You can have it right now love!

Among the Sun Ch 15

Description: You spot an old friend among the crowd, and Miguel's jealousy drives him to confession. Ch 16

Perhaps it was wrong to enjoy how tortured Miguel seems, but you relish the attention, the way his hands twitch with longing, how his eyes follow your every move. You ignore him, spend your days with Sera or in the library. The library unfortunately does not house a handsome man your age like your library back home did, but it does house secrets. More tunnels, ones that lead past the outer gates, into the city. If you were braver, you might have used them, but you did not wish to stir up Miguel’s wrath.

Once you were forced to be by his side for the festival though, you decided it would be much more entertaining to arouse the flames of jealousy within him. A task which was quite easy considering many visiting dignitaries flocked to Nueva York for the festival. You are quite fond of the man from the western coast, he is handsome, not as handsome as Miguel, but enough that he catches your eye, and you realize just who has come to visit the festival, visit you.

“Who is that man?” You ask Miguel, waving your hand in the direction of the westerner.

You have spoken to him before, many times, you might even call him a close friend, but Miguel may not be aware of that, your friendship had begun during the dark period, when Miguel could not see your dreams.

“Duke Andreas of Opzelua.” Miguel says, a goblet of wine in his hand, the other resting on the arm of his throne.

“He is quite handsome, is he married?”

Miguel’s grip on his wine tightens, and you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. “No, he is not.”

You take a sip of your own wine, then set it aside, standing. “A pity. I shall introduce myself.”

Miguel remains sitting, though you know he desires to grab you and pull you back into his lap so that you may not leave his sight. “Whatever for? You are married.”

You smile at him, but there is no warmth, only empty amusement. “Am I? I do not remember a wedding ceremony taking place.”

Miguel growls, it’s low in his throat, a quiet sound, but the flicking of his tail betrays his frustration further than any vocalization. “Perhaps your memory of that time has not yet returned to you.”

You lean down, resting your hand on his chest, right over his heart, giving him an eyeful of your décolletage. You can feel his heartbeat pick up speed, see the way he leans into your touch almost imperceptibly. “Your Grace, you know there is no religion nor government on the continent that would accept such a claim as a wedding within a shared dream.”

“Then I shall start a new one.” He says without hesitation, without thought, but with full unbending conviction.

“Do let me know how that goes, I am off to meet our western guest.” You remove your hand, your fingers lingering for a moment. It’s unavoidable, you cannot ignore the golden pendant around his neck, not when you left your own outside his office, throat choked with tears as you abandoned it to the cold ground.

“Y/N, please.” He says quietly, still not touching you, his knuckles white from keeping himself seated on his throne.

You look over your shoulder at him. “Yes, Oh Great Sun of the Empire?”

The expression on his face tears at your heart, but you steel yourself and step down the stairs joining the crowd of nobles, sure steps across the floor until you stop before Duke Andreas.

“The beautiful Lady y/n, I wondered if you would be released from your golden cage long enough to join me.” Andreas smiles when you approach, holding out a spare goblet for you as he leads you to a quiet corner away from the others.

“I would not call it a cage.” You jest, taking a long swig of your drink.

“What would you call it then?”

“Perhaps claws around one’s very being? An impenetrable fence?”

“Claws? So, the rumors are true, the mysterious emperor does possess such things.”

“I have not seen claws, so I can neither deny nor agree with your statement, my friend.” You lie, you have seen them once, when you first began your travels with Miguel, but you had not seen them again, and thought perhaps, in your fear your mind had conjured them.

Andreas laughs, it’s warm, bounces around the room and makes you feel as if you’re home again. “I have missed your wit, tell me, does the emperor know what a treasure he has won himself?”

You bite your cheek once more, eyes falling to the floor.

“Y/N, I—I am dreadfully sorry, I did not mean to make light of your predicament.” Andreas says quickly, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“No, no, it is fine. You should not feel guilt over the mere fact that your kingdom is shielded by mountains, which have kept you safe from Nueva York’s advances. Nor should you feel guilt over my circumstances.” You smile at your old friend, a twinge of longing within you. “It is I who turned down your proposal, it is I who is to blame for my fate.”

Andreas’ jaw clenches and he shakes his head. “No, it is he who is to be blamed, that vile monster, he should have been put to death long before he rose to power. Then perhaps he would not have been able to steal and defile you as he has.”

You bristle at his words, at the dark tone tainting them. “Andreas, you are a guest in his home, refrain yourself from such accusations.” You pat his shoulder affectionately. “Besides, if anyone has defiled me, it surely was you. Do you think I have forgotten your upbringing? Our time in the library?”

Andreas laughs. “I hoped you had not.”

“You made quite a name for yourself, my friend. From librarian’s nephew to Duke of Opzelua, how did you manage to pull that off?”

“Married well, then she passed, unfortunately. Riding accident, four months ago.”

Your heart softens, your smile fading. “Oh Andreas, I am so, so sorry, that is horrible.”

He shrugs flippantly, but you can see the way grief settles around him, how it hangs off his shoulders, and clings to his ankles. “She was a wonderful woman, kind and intelligent, I do wish you two had been able to meet. I believe you both would have grown to be close friends.”

“I am certain you are right.” You tell him softly, wishing you could wrap your arms around him and embrace him tightly as you did when you both were younger. But you cannot. It would cause a scandal, and you value Andreas’ life far too much to risk it for a simple, comforting embrace.

Andreas suddenly stiffens, all color draining from his face, and you furrow your brows, taking a step forward towards him, arms outstretched.

“Are you well? Shall I call for a doctor?”

“No, no, I am quite fine, simply in need of some sustenance. A pleasure speaking with you Emperess Y/N.” He scrambles away, putting as much distance between you and him as possible.

You turn on your heel, heart heavy with grief for your friend, to find Miguel standing behind you, towering over you, his eyes hard.

Sighing, you tilt your head to the side, meeting his eyes unflinchingly. “Might I assist you, Your Grace?”

“You seem distressed, perhaps it is I who should be asking you if you are in need of assistance.” He says, dark eyes scanning your form, his perfect lips settled into a frown.

“I was perfectly content until you scared off my conversation partner.”

“If you are in need of conversation, I would be more than happy to provide you with it.”

“I do not desire your conversation.”

“Then Lyla’s perhaps?”

“I do not wish to speak to anyone connected to you.”

Miguel runs a hand down his face. “This stubbornness of yours is quite irritating when I am not allowed to fuck it out of you.”

Your face burns and you look at him scandalized. “This is precisely why I do not wish to speak with you.”

“Because I speak the truth? Because I am not some golden boy from the West?”

“He is my friend.” You snap, grief churning, churning, churning until it has become thick, tangible anger.

“I am aware of your every friend; I do not know him.” Miguel drawls, his tail still flick, flick, flicking.

“When our dreams went dark, and I was alone, I made friends. I lived a life without you Miguel, I experienced pleasures both pure and sinful, I learned, made choic—”

“Pleasures?” Miguel cuts you off, his eyes burning. “He touched you? You said that you had saved yourself for me alone.”

“I—did, but I—that is not important.” You stutter, your grasp on your anger slipping.

Miguel’s jaw clenches, his fingers curling and uncurling. “I deem it important.”

“I have only taken you to my bed Miguel, but others have touched me and I them…one other, but it is not important. You cannot act in anger simply because I continued to live when our dreams went dark.”

“You are mine, you swore to me, and now I hear you allowed some westerner to touch you?”

“You fucked every whore from here to the mines of Serenta!”

Miguel’s tail wraps around his right leg. “It was in my nature; I confessed my sins to you; I do not understand what more you desire.”

You say nothing, instead walking away, intent on storming out onto the balcony for some air.

Miguel follows, he always follows, and you shoot a glare at him over your shoulder. “Will you not allow me a moment of peace?”

He waits until the doors to the balcony have closed to grab your shoulders and gently push you against the wall, tucking you both into a shadowed alcove. “I have given you many moments of peace, I have waited weeks for you to come to me, to speak fondly towards me once more.”

“That is a component of waiting.”

He ducks his head. “I can stand the silence, the averted gaze, the anger, but I cannot stand to know that another has touched you, to see you smile at another.”

“I am a princess, Miguel, it is my duty to smile at others.”

“No, you are an empress, my empress, and you do not have to smile at any but me if you so wish it.”

“But I do not.” Your words are harsh, harsher than you meant them to be, and he flinches back as if you had struck him.

“I am truly remorseful for my actions, y/n, but I could not deny my nature, I did not ask to be cursed in this way, but I have searched for years for you, I have rebelled, fought and killed to become a man worthy of you.” His voice is soft, his hands limp by his side.

“I did not ask for such a thing; I would have been content if you had arrived at my home with nothing but your name.” You still sound angry, you wish you did not, but it is no longer under your control, your emotions have bubbled over, spilling onto both you and Miguel.

Miguel shakes his head. “I needed to be worthy of you, to care for you, I could not face you until I was a man deserving of a princess. A man with an army, with resources, land, and power behind him.”

“Who decides whether you are worthy or not? You did not ask what I considered worthy, instead you did as you pleased and quite literally set fire to my life. Truly Miguel, you claim to love me, but I…I find it difficult to believe.”

He falls to his knees, taking your hands in his, looking up at you with such devastation in his eyes that it nearly makes you sick with self-hatred, for how could you cause such grief in a man? He has brought it upon himself, but still, you feel ill.

“Do not doubt my love for you, mi vida, I beg of you. Have any other doubts pertaining to me, doubt I am a good man, a good ruler, a good son, or father, but do not doubt my love for you. I love you, you, who I find rest in, who I have searched for, who haunts my dreams. I have only loved you, no other compares. Tell me what I must do to prove my devotion to you, and I will. Anything you ask, I will do.”

“Miguel…” You say softly, fighting the urge to sink down onto your knees and wrap your arms around him. “I do not know what to say.”

“Mi emperatriz, understand me, believe me, when I say I have done many things to become worthy of you, with only your visage in my mind to propel me forward, but I am a weak man. I cannot stand to see you converse with another so easily. It pains me to hear how others pull such joyful laughter from you, how you smile so gently at them. I cannot stand to see how miserably I have failed.”

The night is quiet around you, only the wind rustling through the leaves, the sound of crickets chirping their song to the moon.

“I do not know how to put into words the depth of my affections, or how dearly I wish to know you, as it seems all others do. When we were children, conversation was simple, you wished to hear what I had to say, you listened, no one else placed any value in my words. And your words, my empress, the place in which I rest, my horizon, your words are of infinite value. I longed day and night to hear you speak.”

“Then why did you keep me quiet on your journey here, why did you put me to sleep?” You ask, no longer able to keep yourself from entangling your fingers with his, basking in his warmth.

“We are no longer children; I admit, I do not know you as I once did.”

“We were no longer children while we still shared dreams, do you not remember our conversations then?”

A smirk tugs at Miguel’s lips and his thumbs caress your skin. “When we grew older, I did not need to speak, my body, my actions spoke where my voice failed.”

“Oh…” You say, avoiding his eyes as you remember precisely what he was speaking of.

“But I could not do such a thing with you on our journey, you did not remember me, and I would not force myself upon you. I still will not.” Miguel reassures you, his grip tightening on you.

“I see…”

“I still do not know how to speak with you in a way that does not involve carnality. I have lost the art of speaking to you as a friend, and I do…miss it. I miss you, y/n, my closest companion, my confidant, I miss you every moment we are apart.”

You meet his eyes, searching them for any sign of deceit. There is none, there is simply Miguel, laid bare before you, free for you to do with as you wish. “I miss you as well, and I also do not know you as I once did, but that does not mean we cannot learn.”

Miguel brings your intertwined hand to his lips. “I would learn any subject you wished, I will study your words, your actions, your mind, your expressions, until I know you as I know my own hand.”

“That will take a great deal of time, I surmise you know your own hand quite well. You two seemed very intimate that night after my bath.” You smile at him, half mischievous, half teasing.

Miguel laughs and presses your palm to his cheek, leaning into your touch. “I will dedicate the time, if you will allow me.”

You kneel down, settling into Miguel’s lap. Not to grind against him, or to feel his member against your core, but to simply embrace him, to bury your face in the crook of his neck, to breathe in his familiar scent. “I will allow it.”

TL: @not-aya, @belos-simp69, @deputy-videogamer, @sxnasbitch, @minimari415, @syndrlla97, @gejo333, @lady-necromancer, @zeyzeys-stuff, @tayleighuh, @loser-alert, @envyjmoney, @allysunny, @princessloveweird, @freehentai, @xlittlebubx-blog, @berry-potchy, @drefear, @jkthinkstoomuch, @ihateuguys, @yuuotosaka3, @queenofroses22, @ray-rook, @lollipopin, @faexsins, @drefear, @scorpihoooe

#meg's writing #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara x reader #among the sun #ats #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #thissss this was one of my fav chapters #emperor!miguel #princess!reader #halfdemon!miguel

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bloodyknucklesforme · 8 months

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Base of Operations | Kyle x F!Reader

AN: My almost late submission for Gaz fest. I will hopefully get my other WIP out today. S/O to @glitterypirateduck for organizing this 💞

You're gravely injured (on your period) so the brave Sgt. Garrick (your boyfriend) sets up a base of operations (a pillow fort in the living room) in order to nurse you back to health (give you a massage)

You watched from your curled up position in bed as Kyle walked around collecting every blanket, pillow and plush in the apartment.

"What are you doing?" You frowned as he took the spare comforter out of the bedroom closet.

"What do you mean?" He asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Taking all the bed stuff." You groaned. It was the worst day of your period, when all you wanted to do was sleep to try and forget about the pain in your abdomen. You were already upset that you'd have to cancel your and Kyle's lunch date.

"You'll see." He grinned before disappearing again. You laid back down in bed, too tired to even think up ideas for his mysterious plan.

"Hey beautiful, how are you feeling?" You'd fallen asleep again, Kyle was was waking you up with gentle cheek strokes. "I have something to show ya. Come here."

He wrapped your arms around his neck and scooped you out of bed. Sleep still pulled on your eyes as you yawned against his chest. He was the most doting partner you'd ever had. Despite the long gaps of time you spent apart the two of you were always able to pick up right where you stopped. He always arrived back home with flowers for you, you always had his favorite take out waiting for him. You spent the first day in bed, cuddling, watching movies and on occasion doing more strenuous activities. You kept waiting for the end of the so called "honeymoon phase" but it never came. After almost two years you and Kyle were just as obsessed with each other and in love as ever.

"Kyle..." You found yourself speechless as you saw his completed project. He'd made an extravagant blanket fort in the living room, complete with fairy lights, heat pad and snacks.

"We can still have our romantic date if you want." He said, lips pressed against your forehead. "It looks like a pretty romantic spot if you ask me."

"Are you asking me out?" You looked up at him with a cheeky smile.

"Only if you're saying yes. Don't want to embarrass myself."

"I would love to go on a date with you, Kyle."

"Brilliant." With you still in his arms, he knelt down and helped you into the fort. You laid on your stomach with the heat pad against your abdomen. His laptop was in there, open up to the beginning of a movie along with a tray filled with an array of your favorite snacks. Everything from candy to crisps to biscuits and fruit.

It tugged at your smile as you thought about your previous partners who never seemed to take your pain seriously. The people who got annoyed when you said you didn't feel like going out or encouraged you to take ibuprofen and 'toughen up'. As Kyle straddled your legs and began rubbing your lower back you felt tears start to roll down your cheeks. He always made you feel cared for. Just seeing his smile made your heart feel lighter.

"Iloveyou." You said wetly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He moved to lay his head next to yours and wipe your face. "Didn't hurt ya, did I?"

"No. I just..I just love you." You wrapped your arms and legs around him, burying your face in his neck. His favorite cologne had become an instant relaxant for you. It's what home smelled like. It's what your bed smelled like, your favorite sweater, your car, the couch.

"We're a team. I'll always take care of you." He kissed your forehead and wrapped his arms around you, using his palm to rub the small of your back. "I love you so much."

He kissed the tip of your nose.

"Let's just relax, yeah? You and me." He pulled a blanket over the two of you. "Whatever movie you want to watch and..." he checked his watch. "our dinner should be arriving in about thirty minutes."

"You're too good to me," You smiled.

"I don't think that's possible." He pressed his forehead against yours. "You're the most important thing in my life. Just don't tell my mum that."

You both laughed and he finished wiping away any stray tears. You decided on Paddington for the first movie of the evening. Kyle keeping a close watch as you teared up during certain scenes. He waited on you, hand and foot, for the rest of the evening. Making sure your heating pad was always warm, you had enough water and painkillers, rubbing your back and hips.

You fell asleep in the fort, your head on his chest. His normal nightmares always slipped away whenever you were near. None of the outside world's problems could touch the two of you. Surrounded by fleece and down you two were practically in Eden.

AN: Hope ya'll enjoyed that. it's been a minute since I wrote x reader stuff. I also have a First Date fic in the works but idk if I'll get that out today or not.

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tsuchinokoroyale · 5 months

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Genuinely nonjudgmental ask: Does having unprotected sex ever make you nervous? Have you ever had an STI? I just opened up my relationship with my boyfriend, so I immediately got on PrEP. I still have been using condoms when I’m fucking with anyone that’s not my partner, but I’ve gotten skeptical responses from every guy when I bring up wearing them. I just want to protect myself and my bf from other STIs. I’m considering lying and saying that I’m not on PrEP just to get less pushback. Again, this is not a judgmental ask. I’ve just been out of the game for years, and it seems like the rules have changed!

There are 3 things I’ve always used to protect myself against STI’s:

1. Trust in your fellow man

2. DDF? Tested?

3. The Vibe Check

The first two are basically wet tissue paper level defense, but it’s basically the idea that someone who has the symptoms of an STD/knows they have one wouldn’t willingly go out and spread it. But some STI’s are communicable before they are detectable or symptomatic so they’re honestly weaker than wet tissue it’s more like semi-permeable membrane levels of protection.

I bank the hardest on the last one, which does employ a little bit of judgement but it’s my health so I do what I want to. I prefer to have sex with people that are selective with their partners, people that either don’t sleep around much because they have a primary partner or because they prefer fwb situations. Of note, its important that they mention that they still get tested frequently.

Most one night stands I have I’ll use protection unless they pass the vibe check so hard that my bottom instincts override my better senses and I need their DNA inside me.

Which leads me to

“The Backseat Sloppy Incident”

I had a fwb situation at one point with a friend who had recently become single. He hadn’t topped anyone since he broke up with his boyfriend, it’s been a few months, he didn’t really like hook ups, and of course he made me laugh and had a very shapely shape during sweatpants season. We hung out one night and I very coolly said “hey why aren’t we having sex with each other” and he was like “huh good point” and then we fixed that.

And then it suddenly started to burn when he peed.

We both freaked out and got tested. It was Gonorrhea. We both got our shots in the butt, or really he got two shots in his butt and I got ONE MASSIVE SHOT THAT HURT LIKE ALL HELL and when that was done I was back to taking his loads like I was a laundry machine.

But there was still the question of: How did he get it ?

See I tested negative for gonorrhea. I had em swab everything and test for everything but only he came back positive. I was completely clean.

We puzzled over this many a time because the only time he did anything was when he picked up a Tinder date from the train station who gave him head in the backseat of his car as thanks. He’d told me this had happened as well, to which I said “Damn instead of saying thank you I’m just gonna start giving backseat sloppy from now on”

But that had happened like a month prior. STIs can have a rather lengthy incubation period but a month is pretty long. And I won’t have any character assassination of this boy, I trust him with my life and he honestly still owns this hole if he didn’t live so far away but anyways the point is you truly just never know.

I haven’t had an STI as of yet, but I’m sure that’s mostly just luck. I’ve put myself in seedy situations and come out clean, and the closest I’ve come to catching an STI was a situation where I thought for sure it wouldn’t be an issue. Keep watch over your body, take ya meds, get tested frequently, and always use a condom unless you’re either 100% sure you don’t need one or you’re ready to reckon with any consequences that come your way. Anyone that gets pissy about you using condoms is being a brat who doesn’t respect your health boundaries. And what do we say to sleeping with people who don’t respect your boundaries?

🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️

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muqingapologist · 3 months

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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

this is such a hard question because i’ve gone through so many phases of obsessing over pieces of media in my life, and sometimes it’s really hard for me to parse which characters are lasting favorites and which are just part of that phase. but i’ll try! keep in mind, lots of sentimentality ahead…

and this is in no particular order.

1. wei wuxian (the untamed)

ok so this kind of goes along with a previous post i made discussing my feelings of the mdzs book vs. the untamed. when i first watched the untamed at the recommendation of a friend, it was so unlike anything i’d ever seen before. and wei wuxian was so unlike any protagonist i’d ever encountered before. his determination to do what’s right no matter what others do, but also not being above experiencing doubt and uncertainty about his decisions, really touched me. also of course his carefree attitude toward life is something i repeatedly try and fail to achieve myself. it might also have to do with xiao zhan’s acting choices, but he really touched me as a character. it’s hard for me to say if the wwx of the book did the same organically because i read it over a long period of time after watching the show, so im just going to count the untamed version.

2. shizuku tsukishima (whisper of the heart)

this one is probably pretty niche but allow me to give my most heartfelt recommendation of whisper of the heart, my favorite ghibli movie and one of my favorite films of all time. shizuku is the protagonist of the film. she’s a young girl, probably about 14, and so far, her life has been defined by satisfying her imagination by always reading fiction, immersing herself in stories. inspired by the love interest of the film seiji, she decides she wants to try to be a writer. the film is kind of like a slice of life over a few months of this time, and we see shizuku struggle with perfectionism and wanting to follow her dreams and inability to take criticism, etc. i rarely cry over movies but i cried at this one because i had just never felt so seen by a character. everyone please watch whisper of the heart!🙏

3. prince zuko (avatar: the last airbender)

i think 50% of the reason he’s on here is sentimentality since avatar was a show i watched so much throughout my childhood and of course again more recently with its resurgence in popularity, but also what can i say? his character arc is unmatched. i won’t rehash the details. i will say uncle iroh would probably be here instead if we knew any more about his past because he’s off-screen journey is just so fascinating to me.

4. percy jackson (percy jackson & the 12 olympians)

PURE sentimentality but ya know….also im only considering this character how he exists in the original series. he kind of lost me in heroes of olympus. but yeah percy jackson was the first character that really impacted me back when i was 9, and i think i still carry that impact to this day. i also think the original series still holds up reading it as an adult.

5. kim wexler (better call saul)

kim nation!!! reveal yourselves!! i watched better call saul a little over a year ago and damn, it’s so rare to find such interesting, well-developed, flawed within reason female characters in a tv drama like this. her intelligence and her tendency to get carried away with jimmy don’t contradict each other but work together. her emotional journey….UGH!! kim x post-prison jimmy, who else hopes?

6. xie lian (tgcf/heaven official’s blessing)

so this one is new and i’m not completely sure the deep impression will last yet, but i’ll explain. when i first read tgcf about two years ago, i kind of skimmed because it was so long, and the feelings i had toward xie lian were…not super favorable. i was kind of bored by him and….i saw him as a lesser wei wuxian. AND I WAS WRONG!!! because i reread tgcf finally a couple of months ago, no skimming, really thinking about what i was reading and now i love him. his journey from optimistic prince who had never before suffered to carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders to nearly collapsing under that weight but despite all odds, pulling through and once again finding that optimism, or at least hope. it touched me so much this time around!!! also i don’t know why i thought he was boring first time around. this guy is funny as hell! anyway, lots of lessons to apply to my own life and whatnot.

7. ninth doctor (doctor who)

guys….hear me out. notice im not saying “the doctor” because i think most of doctor who is just nonsense. but that one season with the ninth doctor (and okay i like the tenth doctor’s seasons well enough, or i did really love them. less so these days…). so much potential. so when i say he’s one of my favorite characters ever, i accept that it’s mostly the version of the doctor that lives in my head and isn’t subject to the bad writing decisions made later in the show. it’s a lot of sentimentality, but i am really fascinated by this traumatized alien guy who just lost his entire people, finding himself devolving into more violent, unforgiving tendencies, but meeting rose, jack, whoever else along the way is able to remind him of not who he was but who he could be. of course doctor who is forever ongoing though so character development can only go too far lol.

8. nozue (old-fashioned cupcake)

this is also brand new so not sure if lasting because i only just read and watched ofc, but man. this guy’s journey from being defeatist about getting older and turning 40, being afraid of trying anything new, to allowing himself to experience new things, one of those things being falling in love! his whole concept of using regret as fuel for happiness, transmitting that idea to togawa who transmits it back to nozue later!! ahhh!! so like my love for this character might actually just be love for the entire story but i can’t not mention it every five seconds rn so….

9. isabel archer (portrait of a lady)

so this is the protagonist of henry james’s portrait of a lady, which i finally finished reading last month. and gosh! well the book itself was amazing, but i was especially touched by isabel’s character, mainly because she just felt so realistic. her motivations, her goals, her shift, her sorrows, they all feel earned, creating an incredibly vivid character that i think most people can find something in there to relate to, especially other women who have always been told they are clever and imaginative and yet find themselves struggling internally to live up to those expectations.

10. natasha rostova (war and peace)

it’s been years since i read war and peace in my university freshman seminar, so it’s hard for me to speak on the details of why exactly this character is here. but also it’s no surprise because this is a character that continues to be the star of russian literature. what i can say, she’s another bright, carefree character (clearly symbolizing aspects of russian culture but even beyond that) who it’s impossible not to feel deeply connected to. she goes through some pretty life-altering stuff in war and peace (everyone listen to the musical called natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812 for those details!!) and as the reader, you just really feel for her. idk man she still stands out in my mind, but also this is also much thanks to the musical i just mentioned above.

i kind of came up with these on the spot so like…who knows how accurate this is, but i like to talk about the things i like so sue me. thank you for the question though!!

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gooey-the-goodra-649 · 4 months

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A few songs that reminded me of @hootbon Freakshow Au

Okay I'll add a little context to what theese songs made me thing of- I also may or may not make (Very crappy) fan art out of these! (Also some songs might be suggestive in nature. Sorry!) ALSO SORRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG :( "The Andrews sisters - The Strip Polka"

Okay the first one is LITERALLY just Queenie's song (I think). I've been listening to a buncha old music and when I heard this I thought-

"FREAKSHOW QUEENIE FREAKSHOW QUEENIE DING DING DING LOUD CORRECT BUZZER"

youtube

The subject of the song is 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 named Queenie and is also a showgirl! like what are the odds!

"Tom Lehrer - I hold your hand in mine" I was listening to some of Tom Lehrer's music and MY GOODNESS I though of all the t̶o̶r̶t̶u̶r̶e̶ Loving marital affection that Caine is Giving to Pomni when I heard this-

youtube

Captures their whole 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 if that makes sense. Caine's weird twisted sense of love 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 rung through my head when I first heard this.

"The Real Tuesday Weld - Me and Mr wolf"

youtube

The whole song is about Fear and love sort of making a medley into a thrilling feeling of excitement! Like I love you but you terrify me but the fear is EXCITING! Made me think of Caine and Pomni's dynamic

"The Tiger Lillies - The Freaks"

youtube

This...𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 darn song is just the Freakshow au. Literally. It fits the au p e r f e c t and somebody with better skills than me 𝘕𝘌𝘌𝘋𝘚 to make an anamatic or animation meme ft the Freakshow au with this. ITS SO GOOD!

"Over the garden Wall - The Beast is out there"

youtube

Okay I have 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘵 to say about this one! Since over the garden wall and the Freakshow au have a lot of inspiration from similar time periods theres gonna be a few OtgW songs here! But Mainly it could be used in an animatic (maybe Ragatha warning Pomni about Caine?) But about how Caine uses them for entertainment and "Once their will begins to spoil" (aka go insane) "He'll turn you to a tree of oil" (Abstracting. Since abstracted people kind of look inky and dark like oil I thought this would be PERFECT!)

"The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra - An unhealthy obsession"

youtube

𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯…Pomni and Caine. OKAY OKAY I KNOW BUT LISTEN. The songs about an obsessive and controlling stalker AND he brings up marriage 𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘦 times. Like CMON! ITS LITERALLY JUST CAINE SINGIN' BOUT LIL POMNI I 𝘏𝘈𝘋 TOO!

"AJJ the band - Body terror song"

youtube

The song is about a lack autonomy and the fear that comes with having a body. Perfect for this lil AU!

"Teddy Hyde - Sex with a ghost"

youtube

It just made me think of sort of the 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 of Caine and Pomni being together. Also the line "When she gets playful with a steak knife" just made me think of TADC in general sooo.... IT MADE THIS LIST :D

"Caravan of Thieves - Eat you"

youtube

Yay more cannibalism woohoo 😎 But yes the style of the song and the lyrics fit 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 fit them! (Also sorry if it sounds like I'm just blabbering and repeating myself I'm not good at articulating my thoughts (o^o) But it very much fits the sort of edwardian/victorian stylings of The Freakshow (or at least it does in my head). Its kind of folk-ey sounding at least. The way the lyrics just so casually explains "yeah I'm gonna cook and eat ya and Its gonna be GREAT >:D" made me think of Caine quite a lot! Words that come to mind are Savor, enjoy, delicacy, and family dinner! (That's the best I can do because my brain goes BAM BAM and only random adjectives come out instead of fully formed sentences)

"Over the garden Wall - Old black train"

youtube

THis one I have less context for what this would relate too but it just felt sort of 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 to me y'know? The freakshow has a lot of Victorian / Edwardian inspirations so this fit very well in my head. I'll probably reblog this when I get more ideas (and more space!) but I hope somebody finds this useful! Good luck all you awesome anamatic, fanart, and fanfic writers! You're doing GODS work and I'm trying to contribute my fair share of fan content to tumblr!

#tadc freakshow #freakshow au #tadc au #hootbon #tadc freakshow au #Youtube

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polarisbibliotheque · 1 year

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when do u think youll be done with the we shall never surrender project??

Hi, dear! That's a great question, thanks for sending it in!

To be quite honest with you all: I don't know.

There's a few reasons for that, so bear with me a little, please "^^

1 - I'm on a sudden art mentoring program with a friend who offered it to me freely.

I've been unemployed and ill for quite a while and a 'friend' of mine literally scammed me and stole all the money I had left, so I'm officially broke. That's been stealing my nights of sleep, because I'm trying to figure something out to make some money and at least pay my credit card every month.

When I mentioned with my mentor I might try to get in the art industry, she was over the moon and took me in for training free of charge and help me as she can so I can get a job. That being said, I'm focusing 1000% on that - hence why I disappear for so long: in less than a month, I've finished 600+ drawings.

Yes, I'm crazy. But this is the only shot I've got after a long period of distress and not knowing what to do. I'm giving it all to it.

2 - I decided to use this mentoring time to improve my art and apply it to the requests of the Shall Never Surrender Project!

I always thought I could do better with the requests - I don't want to deliver something bad and half assed. This last month, I feel like I improved so much, I wanted to wait a little bit to deliver something with a better quality!

3 - My health sometimes kicks me down and so I need to choose carefully what I have energy to do.

As you guys know, I'm trying to recover from an illness and I have a chronic illness as well. I don't eat much and that means sometimes I don't have enough energy to get up from my bed.

There are days I start being productive at 3 p.m - I spend all the morning lying down, gathering energy to tank the day and taking a few naps. There are other days, I can't even bring myself to eat 'cause I feel like I'm going to pass out midway to the kitchen.

Think Vergil dragging his ass out of Hell and crumbling apart at the beginning of DMC5. That's it, literally, I'm not being dramatic.

I have to prioritize what I can do during my days, then. Usually, I prioritize my mentoring, then helping my mom with chores and running errands and then, by night, I'm already very tired. If there's any energy left, I try to write - for the blog here or the book I'm trying to write - and then work on the Shall Never Surrender Project.

It's slow. Very slow. But it's going.

4 - Nevertheless, I want to finish the requests of the Project before starting comissions.

Like I said, I'm broke. And, as you might have seen, I opened commissions to help a friend of my mom who is in a worse situation than mine and really needs some help.

I want to finish the Project requests before any commissions start coming in, because I do feel guilty for making you guys wait so long. I thought I could deal with requests of full, coloured and polished artworks quickly, but I can't.

That was a foolish overestimation of my part and I am sorry.

Even then, people don't commish me a lot. I had a few commissions some years ago, but I gotta tell ya, it's VERY rare for me to get something. Even then, I need to try. For this friend of my mom and for me, eventually.

If I'm not wrong, there are 3 requests for me to finish. I'm working on them in the order people have requested, and honestly, I hope to finish them soon.

I'm really sorry for taking so long, but life sometimes runs over us and we are caught like a deer on headlights.

I know this might feel like a sassy response, but it isn't. I'm really happy you asked and I can explain a few things/give you guys some idea of what's going on and apologize for taking so long :)

#polaris speaks #shall never surrender project #polaris answers #answered asks #art requests #the guilt of taking so long spikes my anxiety 10/10 #but don't worry guys #I didn't forget you #I'm seriously trying #I'm not really used to not being 100% when it comes to my health #like I said about Vergil #he kills me as a character 'cause I get it #I'd do whatever I could to get my healthy self back quickly #and to make things even more amazing #this mentor of mine when I was talking about my job that caused my burnout #she literally said 'you've been through hell. you've been through hell and dragged yourself out'#and all I could hear was Vergil singing Bury the Light at the top of his lungs in the eye of a storm :)#it isn't drama when I say I came very VERY close to dying #everyone who lives around me says how half dead I was for the past 3+ years

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TRUSTING ME BRO I COULD CRYYYYYYYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭I hope it does not disappoint... REAL THOUGH about the drama you mentioned in your tags, that's exactly how I felt reading If My Wife Becomes An Elementary School Student's title, for example, but I'm told it's wholesome☠️☠️I would love to hear about the one you were thinking of though!

I WILL BEAR IT IN MIND TO PREPARE FOR ARACHTAGON WHENEVER THE TIME COMES... totally understandable to get frustrated with RNG on top of that, RPGs can be so evil 😭😭😭still, again, I'm glad you're back to it! Also totally understandable to want to play on the original consoles... NOTHING beats the experience... the availability of playthroughs nowadays is nice for sure to be able to experience the series without investing that much!

I would LOVE to see more Normal interactions between Ichiban and Jo for real😭they have so much potential for silly moments... ever-thankful for your content and I Can't Say Enough always looking forward to whatever you might have in store :] whether it's that or something else :]

I EXPECT YOU'RE DONE WITH EPISODE EIGHT NOW AT MINIMUM SO I WILL JUST SAY the Ohashi arc and Episode Ø [<- why the hell is ep eight called this] are peak to me I am soooo glad you enjoyed the arc... LOVE the OST too, Yugo Kanno is a legend. HOWEVER all the songs on it are titled words that start with S and P so you get titles like Scarlet Pussy 😭

OH BUT SPEAKING OF SP'S WACKASS STRUCTURE pleeeeeaaaase consider watching SP: The Motion Picture and SP: The Motion Picture: The Final Episode after you finish the show... there is A Cliffhanger and those are the true conclusions to the story... and SP Final In Specific is what blew my nuts clean off...

STOPPP NO THAT'S EXACTLY THE DRAMA I WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT I DIDNT WANNA SNITCH ON MYSELF 😭😭 it really is a cute show..... im ngl it has some of my fave tsutsumi scenes/performances like it TRULY blew my expectations out of the water. i just feel SOOO awkward about it cause.. with a title like That and a premise Like That i wouldnt blame a single person for giving me a weird ass look so i generally try not to talk about it ☠️ its my guilty treat so to speak and i cant even tell if im making it sound worse than it actually is (╯x╰ )

in any case... i finished Security Police SO !!! onto After The Rain for me when it comes to Media Thats Awkward To Talk About But Please Believe Me When I Say Its Not What You're Thinking :]

LMAO PLEASE like... so long as you have the right equipment you don't even really have to do much extra grinding by the time you get to him... it truly is just hoping RNG doesnt dick you over ☠️ i've been cruising through the game since tho ! i dont expect myself to get into anymore awkward blockades anytime soon and then i can finally say i finished this game (●ˇ∀ˇ●)

THANK YA THANK YA it aint much but its honest work..... i have been real dead this week tho and i always get scared if ill draw again durin periods like this- i HOPE to come up with something soon cause there really is an untapped well of Good Stuff to be explored :]]

THE SOUND DESIGN OF SP WAS REALLY GOOD IN GENERAL THOUGH LIKE not just music wise was it good but i really loved hos inoue's migraines gave me migraines... immersion... but also just knowing when to keep things dead silent (like finding nishijima's corpse) did SOOO well to put emphasis.. the weird as hell names are just bonus points by now like. Gotta Let Bro Have SOMETHING As A Thank You For The Sound Design (╯▽╰ ;;) OH BUT IM GLAD THERE'S MOVIE TIE-INS CAUSE THE LAST SCENE HAD ME CONCERNICUS LIKE 👁️👁️? i was only able to find the first 2010 movie on the site i usually go to but its somethin...

#long post #snap chats #i remember i was telling jess about tsuma and we were texting but i just know she was textually giving me that Customer Service Smile #like im SORRYYY I DIDNT MEAN TO TALK ABOUT IT I ALWAYS SPEAK WHEN I SHOULDNT and then i never mentioned it again #well. i HAD to mention it when making that Shit I Watched list and Rest Assured i put a paragraph's worth of a disclaimer there 😭#literally not my fault the show's premise is That but it has a lot of really good scenes..... both silly and truly meaningful #i actually downloaded a whole ep just so i could clip one of my fave monologues tsutsumi gives in it 😭😭#REGARDLESS. if you dodge this drama i wouldnt blame you in the slightest like Again good luck talking about it without looking insane <- me #moving on tho..... big fan of the Lets Play era..... now my poor ass can watch people play games i want :) speedrun them too even..#but yeah no i love having gameplay vids on while i draw. not during streams of course but on my own time i watch gameplay vids #ugh its my moms birthday in like. half an hour and we're going out to eat... why cant i just watch stuff all day (╯x╰ )#IN ANY CASE im gonna go watch that sp movie so !!!! be back whenever i have the opportunity to speak again LMAO

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skelizard · 1 year

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How do you deal with or avoid artist block &/or burnout?! <8O

Hmm, I don't think I've ever really had 'artist's block', or at least to the extent people describe it. Or maybe I do and I just don't see it as artist's block, idk. I will say that what I'm about to say is comin' from the perspective of someone who ain't doin' it as a career and mostly keeps it as a passionate hobby.

I do from time to time feel a creative lull where I don't feel particularly inspired or have any real urge to draw, that's a completely normal part of bein' creative and it's unavoidable. I think also sittin' round and constantly thinkin' 'oh no I've got art block' only exacerbates the problem n doesn't help, it's just passive pessimism. Part of dealin' with it is acceptin' the fact you're in a lull and just, go off to do other things. Do other hobbies, play a new game, go outside, watch a series, read a book, anythin' that isn't makin' art basically. These art block periods are a good opportunity to search for new inspiration and I find eventually, either from doin' one of these things or just lettin' the creative lull simmer for a bit, you'll find a lil nugget that gives you an idea that you really wanna draw. There's gonna be times where you feel ya can't draw or everythin' that's comin' out sucks and that's fine, just take a break if you can. Sometimes I still feel the itch to draw durin' these periods and instead of tryin' to make somethin' exclusively from my brain/original I'll do studies, animal portraits, fanart, basically just somethin' that isn't as mentally intensive as doin' entirely original stuff. That and also mindless doodling, drawing with no vision or goal in mind n just lettin' your hand draw what it wants to draw. Another thing you can try is different mediums, sculpture, 3d modelling, embroidery, ect. It's good for the soul to try out different things, and the good thing bout tryin' somethin' new to you is you can't expect it to be good, so it doesn't matter if it looks bad. Makin' bad art is good for you actually.

As for avoiding burnout, again I'm speakin' from the perspective of someone who isn't doin' this as my job so I only draw when I feel like drawin', which just happens to be pretty often. In fact not doin' it as my job is probably one of the best things I could've done in avoiding severe burnout, I did commissions for a few years and the burnout was Real (not to put people off from doin' commissions it just wasn't for me). These days I feel I'm constantly operating on low energy and as a result I don't really do a whole lotta 'big finished illustrations' anymore, at least not as often as I used to. I don't really try to push myself beyond the energy levels that I have and as a result I feel I create stuff generally a lot slower these days than I used to, and that's fine! Just gotta accept it and move on. Also just doin' sketches is fine! Don't gotta do fully finished paintings n whatever all the time. Also be realistic about your goals n projects, if you wanna make a 300 page comic n you haven't even completed a single 1 page comic then you're just settin' yourself up for failure. You can still have your 300 page comic idea but focus on makin' multiple much much smaller comics first, you'll feel a lot better and more motivated havin' completed many smaller projects than only havin' that one massive unfinished project loomin' over your head, and it'll train/prepare you for makin' that bigger project. This applies to any sort of creative project, comics are just on the brain right now. Bein' realistic with yourself n not biting off more than you can chew, n lettin' yourself have breaks helps with burnout a lot. I also almost exclusively these days just doodle my characters, so it helps to just draw the things you really wanna draw, especially if you're just a hobbyist. Nothin' kills motivation more than constantly makin' yourself draw shit you simply don't wanna do.

This gotta kinda long but basically my advice just boils down to just chill out, creative lulls are normal, be kinder to yoself, hopefully somethin' in there helps ya out.

#ask #chatter

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grimsneverendingfuneral · 6 months

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You've already written a book? Wow, that's impressive! I've always been writing but never quite finished anything. I have a lot of short stories stored in my computer and poetry in my various journals, but actually sitting down and committing to writing something for an extended period of time has always been difficult for me. I lose interest after a while, or get stuck on a scene and just give up on it. I have about three rough drafts of at least one hundred pages worth of material, but that's it. They stop there. How were you able to write your book? What is the story behind it? I know we writers hate when someone asks what our books are about, because it's not always about the plot, I would say, but more about the characters and the overarching themes present throughout the story, but I'm curious. I hope you don't mind me intruding in your ask box like this.

yoooo you're back!!! im so glad

yessss well i feel you really hard on the never finishing anything. I've always always been writing too, ever since i could but i never thought i'd get to write a book, quite honestly. i mean, i didnt even consider myself a writer until like last year and im fucking 25. i just kind of. wrote. didnt claim the "writer" title until one of my friends pointed it out like "hey, youre a writer" and i was like HUH?? so ya.

the way i wrote it was very circumstantial, honestly. i think in a way, thats what usually happens. a bit of circumstance, time, discipline, and most importantly PASSION is the perfect equation, at least for me. it was in a time when covid was coming to an end, i had a job but was out of work because i had broken my foot, and i had a whole room to myself cause i was living with my sister. i was also going through a david bowie obsession and listened to literally JUST THAT for three whole months. i wrote every day, all day. sometimes for 10 hours without really eating or drinking. i was OBSESSED. with this story, and these characters, and so im not really the person to ask how exactly you finish a book, because for me it was truly a near religious experience, like divine intervention type thing. it was like i was possessed. i couldnt stop. i loved it so much that it took over my whole life.

as for the stuck on a scene thing. honestly? like forreal forreal? you just have to change the scene that you thought you were gonna write. that's it. that's the answer. you just don't write that scene. you find something else. if its not coming to you like butter on a hot pan, sliding into your brain effortlessly and through your fingers, change it. or just don't write it. skip it. skip to another part of the story, or just straight up skip that scene and continue the story. im telling you, there aint not other way. you'll just stray further and further from that momentum you had, and get frustrated with yourself, and start overthinking your story, and all that, all for one scene that isn't even there.

and the dreaded discipline. look, we all hate it. the only thing you can do to combat the writers block is, and i cant emphasize this enough, write something else for a bit. put your story on pause, its okay, its always gonna be there, and write something with those same characters, but maybe theyre in an au, or another scene, or its just some little drabble of their lives. it helps immensely, even for your book. you get to develop their characterization, get to know them, their motivations, their speech patterns, and you get to have fun. it'll give you ideas, and once you're ready to kick yourself in the ass, go back to the book, and write one. fucking. sentence. just one. a shitty one. write a whole page without editing it as you go along. write simply and like youve never known what a sentence structure looks like, then when you're done, you can go back and edit. but its better to just write and have it be shitty but cohesive enough that its going somewhere, than to not write at all, right? thats my advice.

ok this shit is getting long as fuck and i didnt even answer your question as to what my book is about. i'll try to blurb it, for practice.

Set in 1973, it's about Percy, an astronomy loving eighteen year old Welsh guy with sleep apnea who moves to the city with his extremely religious parents. He finds a room through a new friend he meets at a bar, Gretchen, and moves in with Ren, a wearing-sunglasses-at-night sanguine type who's a storm about to ravage Percy's little village.

Ren has a secret room, secret hobbies, secret everything, and it drives Percy insane with prophetic dreams through his apneic episodes. With time, patience and a shared love of music, Ren begins to let Percy in on his tragic life, the person he lost and the reasons why he is the way he is, chaos personified. Percy begins to understand that he is a part of some equation, some mission Ren has been set on by the strange presence in their apartment.

The secret little room is the key to it all, and through the whispers in the trees and the voice in the walls, Percy will soon discover that Ren is not only someone who's happened to cross his path, but someone who he is falling in love with, someone fated for him. It's a story of self-discovery, mysticism, death, rebirth, redemption, friendship, and it's very gay. Very, very gay. Also set in the early 70s so there's the trials and tribulations of marginalized identities, good ass music, and a lack of electronic communication.

there are a lot of different elements to this story, like.... a lot of references to greek mythology, astronomy facts, sleep disorders, nightmare imagery, motifs, everything is all connected. Each character's name has a meaning to the story, and they all play a very important role. There's also like two plot twists and a secret character that i cant talk about heehee.

anyways FUCK this was crazy. i know you only asked like a couple of questions but im like sooooo into answering thoroughly. its honestly helping me understand some stuff, so thank you veryyyyy much for being curious, i really really appreciated. dont be shy if you ever want to come off anon and send me a message, im not gonna think anything weird of you lol. i know anon is like a safe way of lurking sometimes but id like to talk to you more if youre down.

#i love this #cause like.....i wanna go on and on about my shit in person to people but i always feel embarrassed or weird talking extensively about me #yknow #im not good at that #i feel like its annoying to ppl #i know thats me projecting but whatever #i wanna be able to talk about this for like two hours on end without anyone interrupting me #lol #grims echo

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mysmistree · 10 months

Text

The Starving Artist (Short Story)

It was one of those nights. My mug of coffee had run dry, and the day’s Times was just dreary and unmoving. The rain struck hard against my windows, the bleak streets broken only by the yellow glow of their lamps on this dark night. The ceiling fan spun wryly over my olive-green office, threatening to put out my last cigarette. It was then that I heard a faint strike on my door. The rat-tat-tat of a youngster, unsure if this is the place.

“Come in,” my voice answered before I’d decided. I’d had enough money for the week, and it was late enough to pretend to be away. Oh well, what’s done is done.

The door creaked open, and a young woman stepped inside. She had a flapper’s dress on, and in her hands she carried her purse and her gloves. She was dressed for a party, so I couldn’t help but wonder what lover’s quarrel led her here. I had her sit down, handed her a glass of whiskey, and turned to the streets, my eyes watching the lonely motorcades of the normal and mundane strike up the waters of the street, intermingled with the image of myself in my coat and bullfrog trousers.

“I came for advice,” she said at last.

“Well that comes cheap.”

“And assistance.”

“That, not so cheap.”

I hear a rustling, and catch a glimpse of her pulling a framed photo out of her bag in the window’s reflection.

“It’s about my husband.”

“What, sudden disappearance? Suspected cheating? Maybe he’s getting out of dodge due to a debters?”

I was callous, cold, but it was a late night and an unexpected visit, can ya blame me? Well, the daggers in the reflection told me she certainly did.

“He’s not missing, nor cheating.”

I withheld further smart-alec comments.

“Then what brings ya in? Ain’t exactly desperation that brings ya in at 2 AM.”

She looks off to the side.

“He’s been in our apartment for a week. And he hasn’t left once.”

“Do you know why?”

“His work.”

“What’s he, a novelist?”

“No, a painter.”

I rolled my eyes. Reclusive and a painter, of course I get the eccentric types. I felt I was in for a long night.

“So, you want me to scare him out of the flat?”

“I want you to check on him.”

“Why?”

She didn’t answer for a period, her eyes crossing the floor.

“He hasn’t been eating.”

The silence was powerful. Had I been any shorter, I’m sure the ash falling from my cigar would’ve been audible. But all I heard was the rain, as her words sank in. I took a moment, and slipped my revolver into my jacket pocket.

“When did you last see him do so?”

“What, fast?”

“No, toots, eat.”

“On Monday, at breakfast.”

Shit. Six days. And in a handful of hours it’d be seven.

“What was he like this morning?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why not? Weren’t you worried?”

“Of course I was!” her voice cried out, “But he locked me out. I can’t get in, and I’ve had to stay at my sister’s while he’s been like this.”

I suppose it was the discomforting sound, but I couldn’t turn this case down now. I knew too much. I should’ve turned her away at the door, as now it’s do or don’t-sleep.

“Fine. I’ll check up on him. Give me the address to your sister’s, and yours. You’re welcome to wait here until I get back, but that might be a while. If you do,” I added, as I stopped in my doorway, “You’re welcome to anything you can find to drink, but do your stressed mind a favor and leave the coffee untouched.”

Admittedly, after closing the door, I groaned. I was starting to sound like my mother, giving advice to people who didn’t ask for it. But I shook it off; now was not the time for social regret. The situation was urgent. I got down to the street, and took a cab up to the place in question. When I stepped onto the curb, I got a startlingly good look at it.

At the ground floor, it was like any old apartment building. Glass revolving door against simple painted brickwork standing out like a gas-lamp to the lonely travelers of the night. But once it crossed the first floor, things changed. The building began to warp. Warm orange rooms began stretching and changing into flat yellow lights, the walls of the building darkened, as the whole structure literally loomed over the street, becoming a more and more abstract version of imposing, until it was this dark, stretched tower of almost children’s book origin. And yet despite this childish design, it still managed to imbue me with a feeling of impending doom.

There was no question; This was the place, but I may already have been too late. As I entered the lobby, I found it had been painted over. Doors looked outlined, pictures seemed re-designed, and there were arrows on the floor leading to the proper rooms like in a children’s playground. The shape of the building made me uneasy, so I found myself taking the stairs. As you might expect, the higher I went, the weirder the situation became. The floors quickly swapped from tile to inked-over wood. Dark splotches struck the walls in odd places, like a fountain pen that went projectile. Some rooms had the furniture bolted to the ceiling, some were covered in words and strange writings. All in all, the place seemed entirely abandoned. After wandering the twisting corridors and stairs for a few minutes, I finally made my way up to the fifth floor. The way my coat dangled despite standing straight up told me we were in the section looking straight down at the street. Bizarre what these things can do.

As I walked down the corridor, which often chose to invert itself or twist in peculiar directions, I could distinctly observe everything becoming weirder. Every occurrence becoming worse. Paintings became solid colors, furniture was painted into place, odd colors adorned the walls, words became meaningless letters and then scribbles. All of which seemed to be drawing from the same door, the apartment in question: 527.

The door was pure-black, glistening and dripping with the air of fresh paint. And yet, despite the simple look, it carried the brunt of the towering energy within the building. Every step towards it seemed to cry out as though it were cruel, and every commanding glance was met by a far more overwhelming silence. But this door wasn’t the source, merely the gate.

This was it. Like a leaflet on the wind, I felt the pull of this room. I took a good look at myself, checking I was prepared. Had my revolver, my hat, and my bullfrog trousers. Though I could distinctly see the edge of my hat had gained an outline. I would have to be quick.

I grabbed the ink-black handle, and swung the door open.

The room was undoubtedly the champion of this horribly enigmatic building. It was meters longer than it should have been, the walls twisting their way up to an impossibly high ceiling, far enough up that I couldn’t see it in the darkness. All of this served only as the surrounding context of an enormous window, easily six times my size, which overlooked the street. But all of this meant very little to my mind, for my eyes had focused on the central figure of the room, the main cause.

Standing before a canvas and easel that could give a double-decker bus a run for its money, was a strange figure. Looming over the easel with a palette in one hand, and a brush held like a sword in the other, the creature continually swung at the canvas.

It was tall, well over my height by a good three or four feet, and it was dripping from head-to-toe in ink. Despite this, I could see the back of a clean vest and slacks, merely trimmed with ink on the sleeves and otherwise somehow stainless. The only sound that came about was a series of swipes. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. The rushed sound of the brush against the canvas, multiplied so loudly it may as well have been nails on a chalkboard. I was several hours too late.

As I looked around at the discarded mess of canvases and painted walls, knowing hope was lost, I determined the best solution was a quick execution. I drew my revolver from my pocket, and cocked the hammer. At the sound, the immense being craned its neck behind it to reveal two brightly glowing yellow eyes, and a crooked yellow smile across its face. I lined the gun up and pulled the trigger.

BANG.

…

It didn’t even flinch. But it didn’t appreciate it either. All in one moment, the strange beasts eyes and mouth ceased their almost child-like glow, and all that was left was a gaping, horrifying maw and sockets, which began to scream.

I held my ground, and as a giant paintbrush swung towards me, I leapt using the springs of my trousers on their lightest setting to get over it. I had to think, as I didn’t have many options. The Painter struck at me again, this time I narrowly avoided it by dodging off to the side. My gun was useless. And this beast was immense. Clearly if I had any choice at all, it would be through the window. But would a window that big even break if I smashed into it? I didn’t have many choices. I ran to the door again, using my opponent’s immense size to my advantage, and braced my legs against the door.

Ksssssssssshhhht. The hiss of my bullfrogs set as they were armed to launch. I waited, and sure enough, the beast drew up his paintbrush to bring down on my head, and in that moment, I launched myself between his legs at the window. CRACK! For a brief moment I felt success. And opened my eyes for the next step. And saw an unbroken window, and a lot of blood. I had completely shattered my shoulder, and failed to crack open the window. I fell to the ground, a crumpled heap, the pain only stifled by my sheer adrenaline. And in the corner, I could hear it. The shuffled wet steps of those gigantic, ink-covered feet rumbled the room, as I saw him raise his choice weapon above my head. In a last frantic effort, I threw myself aside right as the weapon came down.

The pattering sounds of glass being shattered deafened my eardrums. The giant’s brush was halfway outside the glass, its head turned to look at me, fury painted in the edges of its face. This was my only chance. I rolled my way over to the door, batting away leftover canvases with my good arm, until I was in position.

Ksssssssssshhhht.

Pomfph. I kicked off the door with everything I had, and I smashed right into the head of that wretched has-been. He stumbled backward, falling out of the newly shattered frame. And on his way out, he dragged me by my foot.

I found myself falling. Miniscule shards of glass were making their way past me as I hurtled towards the Painter, as we both hurtled towards the road. I looked at him, and observed his eyes had returned their bright orange glow, wide-eyed with fear and sadness as he looked passed me. I turned my head in the fall, and saw the same.

The apartment careened upward, the windows color becoming more complex, and the size reducing significantly, as the towering machination that had once been this fortress of ink and paper returned to its original position. The creak of brick and metal hollered as the size compressed, the last few possessions of the artist making their way out the window, as if left behind. It curled, retracted, and returned to its position on the side of the road.

And then it all went dark.

#writing #creative writing #short story #original fiction #my story

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lookatlavender · 1 year

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it is so incredibly hot to me that you came thinking about me for the first time in so long. i definitely came again to your audio, thinking about how you’re not allowed to touch yourself right now, thinking about how hard you’ll cum again when you’re next allowed to… i’ve got my vibe inside me right now and you can’t even touch yourself because you love to give yourself up to strangers on the internet. delicious 💖

i so so wish you could’ve cum on me for that first time. on my tongue. i would’ve had you keep still for me and would’ve kept going until you were begging me to stop. and maybe a little past that 🥰 i’d probably put some underwear on you after you were begging me to stop and slap your cunt a few times.

i’m thinking about giving you a trade off where you’re only allowed to cum when your pussy is empty. i’d fuck you nice and hard, with your favorite size toy, while you’re denied. i’d ruin you and edge you on my cock over and over, maybe even while i make you rub your tdick for me. but when i give you permission to cum you know you have to be all empty. you’re never allowed to cum with your pussy filled again, sweet one, what do you think of that? i think it’s a good alternative to permanent denial. 💝

you’d eventually associate being filled with denial and you’d beg me not to fuck you when you want to cum. i’d have you absolutely dripping and clenching on nothing with the head of a nice big toy right at your entrance and you’d either beg to be fucked knowing it’ll only lead to a ruin or you’d beg for me not to fuck you so you have a chance to earn a full orgasm. of course i’d do the opposite of what you ask me for 💞 and of course for every time you ruin when you’re not supposed to you have a day of no-touch.

eventually i’d train you to keep your pussy & ass filled throughout the day as a reminder that you are constantly denied.

mmmmm we’ve come up with quite a few good rules together, haven’t we?

you earn full orgasms with pain.

you can only cum when your pussy’s empty.

you can only put something in your pussy if there’s something bigger in your ass.

how’s the no-touch going after having some time to cum all you want? i hope you’re torturing your nipples a bit. 💫

fuck the fact that you had your vibrator in while you were writing this 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that’s so much hotter, thinking about how pleased you must always be teasing me already gets me off, but the idea of you getting off while talking to me all about how i’m not allowed 🙈🙈🙈 aksjdkabsw if i wasn’t wet already i would be thinking about that. and you using my audio to come back to and use to get off 🤭😵‍💫 you already know this probably but you were the tipping point that made me decide to post it, once i knew you wanted to hear i just had to show you 🤭

i wish you were there too, i know you would have taken your time working me up to it and made sure my first orgasm back was fucking life changing 🙈 and the overstim right after a denial period would be so fucking perfect, such a cruel juxtaposition of physical sensations. complete denial making me so desperate, and then the moment i earn back the ability to orgasm they’re used to fucking torture me 🙈🙈🙈 ya that would be perfect

you always know just how to twist my mind up huh 😵‍💫🤭 having to beg not to be fucked in order to cum would be so fun, especially after you’d spent enough time training me to crave being fucked, to crave being edged while my holes are full and stretched. and as soon as i get desperate for it, tell me if i want to cum i have to be completely empty, have to feel myself clenching around nothing and wishing you were stuffing my holes to their limit 🙈🤭 i wouldn’t know what to ask for i think, i think maybe i would go with asking for a ruin just because it would be familiar at that point 🥴

i have so many fantasies about being filled like that, toys strapped into me and put into cute outfits for you. i’d love to do little tasks around the house for you too, just something small but that will make me feel the toys in me every second, like putting dishes away from the dishwasher. every time i had to bend over and grab one i would be trying not to make a noise, my face would be all red and i’d probably be leaking down my legs 😩😵‍💫

we have made up good rules together, i might i just make them official when i do another longer term challenge again 🤭🤭 maybe you and i can think it up together, and then everyone can see how i fare being toyed with by you 😵‍💫🙈

no touch has been amazing so far, i’ve been needy and unable to focus all day 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i’ve been playing with my nipples on and off too, keeping myself wet and sensitive. i keep finding myself randomly groping my tits too, and a couple times i had to actively stop myself from playing with my nipples in front of my roommates 🙈🙈 they didn’t know obviously but it was so embarrassing when i caught myself internally 😵‍💫🙈

how did you know i’ve been torturing my nipples too? 🤭💖 i took some super cute pictures this morning of them bound up in rubber bands 🙈🤭

#lavender asks #💫 anon

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years

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Yet another notice that I aint dead just yet!

That meltdown was.... pretty bad I won't lie. I actually did try that time.. first time in 5 years lmfao

I won't go too in detail. I feel like I talk too much all to say the same two things over and over again. It was a really weird feeling though. My previous attempts throughout my childhood were kinda misguided. Like the intent was there and all but.. ya know. Barely got over the fear of my parents busting through my room with printouts of my search history 😭

Soo although throughout my life I've probably tried to unalive myself 7-8 different times I really only count or mention about 2 of them (and barely that tbh). I never really researched further into what exactly it'd take for all that. I think the good majority of those are random days I'd get upset and just pop a few handfuls of... usually ibuprofen? I mightve tried it with Tylenol as well but 9 times outta 10 we'd usually have more orange pills so it just made sense in my mind

Anyway. Yeah. First time really being 1000% certain about what it'd take. It was kinda scary. Having all the shit just.. lying there. Knowing that it was gonna at the very least cause some actual damage once it was all said and done. It didn't end up mattering anyway. I mean. I'm here 💀💀💀

As far as life updates? Uhh. Well me and R are speaking. Not really but. I at the very least can almost always know she's safe + alive so I'm fine with it for now. I really don't have the energy atp to fight to go back to before her ex dipped

Uhh i think I dipped right before my training really started but today was my first day really doing the job part of it. It was alr. I'm gonna jump ship as soon as I get my preferred place all down pact but for now the only real downsides is A. Having to verbally speak for hours and hours kinda having to throw away my speak-when-spoken-to/tbr... only when needed to keep up with appearances. Hence why 99% of what I say nowadays is just shit I'd expect the person to want to hear. I really want to just get out the conversation as quick as possible for the most part

Side tracked sorry. B. Being that my shit while being pretty easy, is also kinda limited. Like there can fr be someone sitting there boohooing about how they lost all their money in a house fire that killed their whole ass family and blew up all the cars or something and I'd STILL have to ask well is there anyone else I can send the payment to? We can't service you until the payment is authorized. Or possibly even cutting off people if they take too long not to effect my AHT.. I hate that shit. I'm pretty good at just nodding along and taking whatever but I HATEEE that I gotta kinda give af while also not caring enough to fight too hard for them since I can just poof my contract away doing that too much apparently..

Ah shit speaking of above and beyond.. my dumbass prolly just got scammed

🗿🗿🗿

Don't laugh when you read this alr...

LOOK so basically. This woman named noreen came in my dms talking bout some omg bro PLEASE if you got it.. spare like $12 I am STRUGGLING. And I'm sitting there like damn... I only just got this $200 my stepmom/dad owed me annd I just paid off all the small debts I had from this lecture money I end up getting from my mom

The orange section is unrelated but I get "small debts" sounds shady so context

Long story short, was borrowing and putting back thru cash app borrow so I can slowly increase my borrow limit showing ya know like I'm not gon just spend what I don't have and just leave my shit overdue, tho during that period in April-early May I started blowing through any and all money thinking it wouldn't matter. But my shitty spending habits caught up to me when I not only didn't get as much as I was expecting from this one shit, I also balled out depending on said money with the little I had left somehow someway needing to pay off seemingly 1000 things all at once. I got it mostly under control in right after my middle sister's birthday and now it's back to normal.

Basically I told her the last/less dire parts of that and kinda explained I don't really buy too much of anything with it it's just OLD. When another emergency finally came through and forced my hand as far as spending, it finally came to a head where I didnt have enough to borrow so I could pay it off again. She kinda scolded me for letting it carry on for that long and explained the normal stuff. I didn't really let thst lesson sink in tbh. I know I should've but knowing it was moreso my situations putting me there I just kinda.. nodded along and hoped for the best. I didn't think she'd help me tho

Tho... my dumbass. Ack. I really need to get my spending together. I'm a lot better don't get me wrong. I'm not as huge of a fast food person as I was in the past. I'm not as big on balling out on whatever game I happen to like for the month or two I'm hyperfixated on it. I try to stay within my means even knowing damn well I don't really have anything that i urgently need to pay. Not to say I'm completely dependent, I still have a few things I have to keep up with on my end but I know even if I have $0 in my bank acc, I'll have something to eat and somewhere to rest

Whiiich in the past kinda led to me balling just cause. I won't lie.. seeing me blow through my open house money in a year. That switched INSTANTLY. I always thought it was out of never really getting to have anything new so I thought I'd just get everything I wanted and be okay from there. But going through... soooo much money.. yesh. That sure as hell ain't the only reason

Anyway I bring all that up to say Im kinda shocked that even with that, my dumbass still be shelling out money over nothing at times. I don't get why atp.. The woman dmed me and I asked a few things feeling like I could tell she wasn't a bot or anything.

Then I sent like $20 cause I felt bad for interrogating the poor girl in the first place.

Rhen like a day or two later she asked for 10 (£. Pounds are a little more valuable than usd) and I figure well damn. I even gave her some extra the first time. She must be really desperate. So I gave another $15.

But then TODAYYYY she asked for another 10 and that's about when I started to put two and two together. By that point I had already given bout triple the amount she was initially asking for. I get shit being more costly than you thought but like.. bruh. I just gave her another $15 and said that I couldn't give anymore past that. I was pretty polite about it just incase I am just being paranoid.

But yeah.. I'm out $50 cause I tried to help spme random. I don't really regret it. It's not really like I had anything too too much better to do with that. Plus, at thr end of the day, it's $50. It's a lot yeah but its not life changing or anything. I'd rather possibly get scammed out of some petty money like that than being too paranoid and not helping someone I could so easily help. I still feel like an idiot tho lol

Uhh in my addiction news.. I actually unintentionally broke the cycle for a little. I bought these thc disposables to try and give my stomach a break from all the pills. It had already started back burning from it all and my unaliving situation made it really bad. Though it was only for about a week. Then I started mixing em. I've gone back to my once or twice a day habit now. Currently on about 650. There's a small part of me that's starting to care less and less about my problem. It's just been too much. I cant even try to care atp

I'm pretty much never sober. I smoke during training all the time and I almost always take dph during the night. Sometimes, I'll even take both right before my training. It's one of the perks of working online ig lol. I'm gonna try and start scaling it back some since I now gotta stay pretty normal for calls. Once I memorize scripts annd ain't so nervous I'll probably go back go it but for now I kinda cant

Uh yeah but.. that's bout it. I'm finna take a nap. Shits hitting me harder than I expected and I just smoked a before I hopped on here

#dph #benadryl #diphenhydramine #dph addiction #update #excessively long

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jackrrabbit · 3 years

Text

communal property [pt. 2] /// Ushijima x f!Reader x Tendou (18+)

Summary: Tendou shares everything with Ushijima—his food, his dorm room, even the AVs he likes. Why not his girlfriend, too? [Part 1]

A/N: so y’all really like this one, huh?? This is the last part and it’s long af but I can’t bring myself to split it up 🥺 love them sm

Tags/warnings: college AU, baby’s first poly relationship, soft but the smut kinda nasty, threesome, size kink, exhibitionism?, mild S&M, praise, sex toys

You’re still getting used to it. You and Ushijima both. Tendou doesn’t seem to need the same adjustment period, but then again this was his idea.

You don’t even know if you’re allowed to kiss Ushijima until a week in, when you’re studying for a midterm in the mini-suite the two of them share (your own dorm is in the same complex, but your roommate is loudly practicing the violin and you don’t have the heart to tell her that music isn’t her calling) and Tendou and Ushijima come in together from evening volleyball practice. It’s been all day since you’ve seen Tendou and he smells all clean and yummy from his shower at the gym, so you put your laptop down and get up on your knees on the lumpy couch cushion and tug your boyfriend’s face down to kissing height, and you kiss him. “Did you do good at the practice game? You’re later than usual.”

“I did good. Slapped ‘em down, totally crushed their spirits. You should’ve seen it!” Tendou grins and pinches your cheek. “Wakatoshi did good too. He almost broke one of the other blocker’s fingers, it went all the way back.”

You suppress a laugh and turn to Ushijima, whose usual stoic face betrays nothing. “Seriously? Is that a good thing?”

Ushijima shrugs, nonchalant as always. He smells good too. He and Tendou use the same cologne—not just the same brand, but literally the same bottle because one of them (you’re not sure which) can’t be bothered to buy his own—and it smells a little different on Ushijima than it does on your boyfriend, but still good. Kind of smoky sweet—

Oh, whoops. You fucked up. It’s still new, so you keep forgetting that you’re supposed to be dating both of them now, not just Tendou. You step up off the couch and make your way over to boyfriend #2 (ranking based on seniority alone, you assure yourself) and stand up on your tippy toes so you can press a light kiss into Ushijima’s jaw, which is about as high as you can reach. “Well. Good work, I guess.”

For a second it’s quiet and you can feel your cheeks starting to burn. Was that too much? Sure, the three of you had a semi-serious discussion about this whole ‘poly relationship’ deal, but you don’t really know the rules. Maybe you’re not supposed to do things like that. Maybe the poly thing was theoretical and you misread, or maybe it was just a practical joke and you’re the biggest idiot alive for believing it.

Ushijima’s eyebrows raise a fraction and Tendou’s jaw drops, but a second later his mouth snaps shut and he grins. “Wakatoshi, you know you can kiss her for real, right?”

This does not help your embarrassment, but you don’t have time to think about it because Ushijima’s already dipping his head down into a nod. “Hm,” he says, and then you feel the weight of his big hands wrapping around the back of your head and tipping your face up so he can bend down and kiss you. For real.

Ushijima’s lips are warm and you can taste a hint of spearmint toothpaste lingering in his mouth. It’s just a quick, standard ‘hello’ kiss (no tongue, even though you can almost feel yourself waiting for it) but it’s your first kiss with boyfriend #2 and you forget to close your eyes for some reason and he’s so—close?—that your heart starts thudding loudly in your chest.

You’re so surprised that you trip back half a step only to bump back into Tendou, who’s somehow made his way to your side so he can give you a peck on the forehead. “See? That was pretty easy, right?”

“Sure,” you reply, a little breathless, and you collapse back down on the couch.

“Told ya the three of us make sense.” Tendou flops down next to you and drapes a long arm over your shoulders, tugging you toward his chest so Ushijima has space to sit on your other side. The couch is definitely not made for three people (especially not you and the two oversized volleyball idiots you’re sandwiched between), but as long as you don’t mind being half in someone’s lap, you have to admit it’s not nearly as uncomfortable as you’d think.

///

At first you think there are rules. Invisible, unspoken rules that thread their way around the three of you, waiting to trip you up when you least expect it. Because that’s how dating is, right? A million social codes that everyone is expected to know by heart by the time they turn 18, and you thought you were pretty good at that. All the dating etiquette stuff. Except it’s all different when you’re dating two people, and whenever you think you’ve figured out one of the new rules, Tendou just up and breaks it.

For example, rule #1: don’t tell people that you’re in a 3-person relationship.

This one seems like a no-brainer to you. It took about 2 hours for Tendou to explain polyamory to you back in the cafeteria when he first brought it up, and you’re still not 100% sure why he wants to share you with his best friend. You certainly don’t feel like explaining it to other people. So it catches you by surprise when you come to watch one of his practice games, and afterward, Tendou introduces you to his other teammates as “(Y/N), our girlfriend.”

Our girlfriend.

You were not expecting this. You don’t know exactly what you were expecting (either the usual college-ambiguous “friend” or maybe “my girlfriend” in deference to Tendou’s seniority in the boyfriend ranking), but you weren’t expecting him to just come out and say so casually that yeah, you’re dating both of them, what about it? It takes you a minute to realize that you’re the only one who’s surprised—the other guys on the team react like this is old news, just introducing themselves and making a few harmless comments about how you’re way too hot for Tendou.

While Tendou’s off joking with them, you pull Ushijima to the side by his sleeve to interrogate. “Wait, he—told them? That we’re all dating?”

“Yes,” Ushijima says, like this is obvious. He takes a long sip from his bottle and then wordlessly lifts your backpack out of your hands to shrug it over his own shoulder.

You shoot a wary glance at the team, none of whom are jeering or whispering or making any indication that they think you’re a— well, whatever you expected them to think of a girl with two boyfriends. “And they just…don’t care? They don’t think it’s weird?”

“Is it?” Ushijima asks, piercing you with that solemn look that makes you feel dumb but also somehow manages to make you feel better.

“I don’t know. Maybe not.” You realize then that you’re still pinching the corner of Ushijima’s sleeve, so you let your hand slip down his arm until he catches your wrist and laces his fingers into yours. He does that a lot, you think absently. I guess he likes it?

“Oi, oi, Wakatoshi! Don’t hog her!” Tendou jogs over, taking a minute to pick up his stuff before grabbing your other hand. “We’re going to our place, right?”

“Yeah, okay.” You come over most nights—really just to watch Netflix and help them with homework—but what does that sound like to his teammates? Like you’re going over to stay the night?

Then again, if Tendou and Ushijima don’t care, why should you?

The other guys wave at you while you leave the gym. Someone yells nice to meet you, and your hands are occupied and you can’t wave back so you yell you too instead, and then you walk out on campus, in public, holding hands with both of your boyfriends, like it’s normal.

Rule #2 that you end up breaking: don’t do anything with Ushijima when Tendou’s not around.

It’s not like you think you’re not allowed to be couple-y with Ushijima by himself. There’s no stipulation in your relationship that says everything you do must be done together—in fact, you do plenty of stuff with Tendou when Ushijima’s off somewhere else. It’s just that Tendou is kind of…a buffer? You know he likes you, and you know Ushijima likes him, and you’re amorphously aware that Ushijima is attracted to you at least, but it’s hard to tell if Ushijima actually enjoys spending time with you enough to do it when his best friend’s not around.

This question is put to the test when Tendou takes a few days off school to go on a trip for one of the million different clubs he’s involved in—the kind of retreat that’s marketed as a ‘bonding experience’ for members but actually turns out to be a thinly-veiled excuse to get wasted in an AirBnB for 96 hours. It’s part of the college experience, so you insist that Tendou should go even when he whines about being away from you. You don’t tell him you’ll be lonely, because it’s literally four days and you’re going to be fine. You’re not clingy and you’re not the type who needs to check in with her boyfriend every two seconds—at least, you weren’t before you started dating Tendou.

He’s just so affectionate. He’s the clingy one, and you have to admit you’ve gotten used to the constant attention. But you don’t want to bother him while he’s out with friends, so you try not to give any indication that you’re going to miss him.

Just a tiny bit.

Tendou, however, is clingy even from afar—because the day after he leaves for the retreat, you’re surprised by Ushijima showing up at the art history class Tendou usually audits to hang out with you on Fridays. Boyfriend #2 pushes his way through the row of seats so he can sit next to you (the chair looks comically small behind his broad shoulders, you have to stifle a smirk at how uncomfortable he looks at first) and class is already starting so you don’t get the chance to ask what he’s doing there. He doesn’t take notes (not that you expected him to—he isn’t taking this class) but he listens to the lecture, intently and serenely, occasionally looking over to your laptop to catch something he missed.

After the class Tendou usually takes you out to get food, so you hesitantly ask Ushijima if that’s what he wants to do and he agrees. You know he eats pretty healthy, so you propose frozen yogurt because there’s a really good place right across from campus and you have a gift certificate and hey, it’s healthier than ice cream, right?

So you get your fro-yo (Ushijima tries to get just a cup of fruit, but the cashier insists that he can’t just buy fruit—“does this look like a farmer’s market to you?”—and Ushijima ends up getting a tiny little dollop of vanilla on top of his strawberries and cubed mango). You go to the campus glade that gets the best light in the afternoon, and it’s just getting hot enough that the two of you are comfortable sprawling out on the grass. You lie on your stomach going through your readings for next week and meanwhile Ushijima’s on his back, propped up on his backpack, eating his mostly-fruit yogurt with a contemplative look on his face.

No one should be that hot. It isn’t fair, you think. The pink plastic spoon balanced in his fingers, the sunshine radiating over his dark hair turning it a dozen different colors, the loose fabric of his shirt draping over every muscle in his broad chest. He has this way of holding himself—this perfect conservation of movement, nothing wasted, a masterpiece of physical self-possession. It’s hard to look away.

Looking at Ushijima for some reason makes you miss Tendou—not in a guilty way, they’re just…connected in your brain. Even though you wish Tendou were around to share this perfect lazy sweetness with the two of you, you still feel comfortable and at ease.

You’re staring now, reading forgotten on the grass in front of you, and Ushijima turns toward you and raises his eyebrows, which you know by now means “What are you looking at?”

“Why’d you come to class with me today? I meant to ask before.”

“Tendou,” he replies, which is more than enough explanation. Of course Tendou would think that you wouldn’t want to miss your standing date, and of course he’d ask Ushijima to fill in.

“Oh…” You pause and lick a dab of melted yogurt off your own spoon. “Wait, don’t you have Calc right now?”

“The lectures are recorded.”

“You’re skipping?” This comes out in a laugh, because you know Ushijima is a mediocre student at best (who really needs academia when you’re destined to be a pro athlete?) but he never skips class. He’s almost religious about it. “You know you didn’t have to skip just because Tendou told you to, right?”

“It was my decision.” He spoons another halved strawberry into his mouth along with a tiny sliver of vanilla.

“School is important, you know,” you tell him half-heartedly.

“Not as important as you.”

This pulls you up, and the way he looks at you when he says this is so intense that you feel heat prickling in your cheeks and you tear your eyes away from him back down to your book. You have absolutely no way to respond to that, except you wouldn’t mind if he said it again, and again, and maybe like 300 more times.

Not as important as you. Him and Tendou are seriously going to spoil you if they keep this up. You’re getting too used to being treated like you’re precious.

It takes you about six tries to get through the disgustingly convoluted argument of the chapter you’re reading, and by the time you’re able to put it to the side, it feels safe to look back at Ushijima lying next to you. He’s set his paper cup of fruit and melted fro-yo to the side and crossed his arms, and at some point his eyes drifted closed.

He’s sleeping, you realize. The slow breath pushes his chest up and down in a steady rhythm, and somehow you feel the urge to bottle up this experience and share it with the one other person who might have a grasp of what you’re thinking right now, so you take out your phone and snap a quick picture to send to boyfriend #1.

< Attachment: 1 image

< Thanks for telling him to come see me 💝

> anything for my girl 😘

> wait i mean *OUR girl

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from giggling and waking Ushijima up. Our girl. Yep, you’re getting spoiled.

> r u outside?

< Yeah we got froyo and he fell asleep on the lawn outside west gate

> he looks cute lol

> cant believe u got him to eat that stuff

< I did!! I work miracles you know that

> ofc miracle girl

A moment passes, and then Tendou texts you again. > hey i wasnt going to say this bc its obvious but i miss you

< Ok but it’s been one day

> yeah a whole fucking day :((( being drunk sucks when u and wakatoshi arent here

< You’re drunk? it’s like 4pm

> drunk time all the time on retreat, u know the rules

> wish you were here

> like for real, i wish you guys were here

And even though, yeah, it’s been all of one day, you get the sense that you understand exactly how he feels. < Same, you text back.

You could probably lie on this lawn here forever, texting boyfriend #1 while boyfriend #2 sleeps next to you. But you have class in 15 minutes, and Ushijima has practice, and as much as you want this moment to last forever you know it can’t. But that’s okay. There’ll be plenty of other moments.

When you know you’ll be late if you wait any longer, you turn to your companion and push his shoulder lightly. “Ushijima?”

He doesn’t move, doesn’t even make a face in his sleep or anything, so you make an executive decision on his behalf. “Time to go, sleeping beauty,” you tell him—and then you lean over him and kiss him to wake him up, and his lips taste sticky-sweet.

Rule #3 that all three of you break: the sex.

You don’t actually have rules for sex, because you have no idea how this is supposed to go. Are you supposed to have sex with them together? That’s a little intimidating—you’ve never had a threesome. Or is it supposed to be individual? You have sex with Tendou like you did when you two were a couple, but you haven’t slept with Ushijima yet. Wait, yet? Is it inevitable? Is that just what people in poly relationships do—mix and match sex partners until everyone is satisfied? Is that how it works?

Does that mean Tendou and Ushijima have sex with each other when you’re not there? You’re pretty sure the answer to this last one is a no, but you’re not 100% certain. Would you care if they did? You consider this for a while and find that while the thought of them having sex doesn’t bother you, you’d be curious. It’s not like you’re some expert in gay sex, but you know the basics—there’s…ahem, a pitcher and a catcher, so to speak? Neither of them really strike you as catchers.

You are curious, and you feel you’re entitled as their collective girlfriend to ask, so why not? You’re studying in the dining hall again—you across from the two of them, as usual—and Tendou is eating Ushijima’s food and you just let it slip. “So…are you guys dating too?”

“Hm?” Tendou asks, picking up another strip of beef from Ushijima’s plate. “Dating?”

“Well, you’re my boyfriend, and he—“ you point your chopsticks at Ushijima— “is also my boyfriend. So does that mean he’s your boyfriend too?”

“Ugh, that’s so complicated. I don’t know what you mean.” Tendou reaches out to take a slice of cantaloupe from your dessert, but you swat him away and he sticks his tongue out.

Of course Tendou wouldn’t get it unless you spelled it out for him. Ushijima’s no better—he’s watching a volleyball match on his phone with one airpod in, giving no indication that he’s listening to your conversation. Okay, fine. You’ll make it simple. “I’m just asking—are you, like—are you into each other? Not just as friends, but…more than that?”

The piece of fruit that Tendou finally managed to steal while you were tripping over your phrasing promptly falls out of his chopsticks and onto the table. He doesn’t notice—his brows draw together in complete confusion, like what you just said has somehow never once occurred to him in the months-long duration of your three-way relationship. Instead of responding to you, though, he turns to Ushijima and punches him lightly in the shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey, Wakatoshi! Pause the game for a sec.”

“…What is it?”

“I want to test something,” Tendou says seriously, and then it’s your turn to be stunned when boyfriend #1 leans in and kisses boyfriend #2.

It’s a real ass kiss. Mouth on mouth. Possible tongue. Zero chemistry. You can tell just by looking at them that there’s no way in hell they’ve kissed before. Ushijima’s eyes stay open the entire time and when Tendou pulls away, he looks distinctly shell-shocked. “Tendou. What.”

Tendou puts his hands up in protest, eternal confidence still firmly in place. “(Y/N) asked if we’re into each other, so I wanted to check.”

Ushijima looks over at you. “We are not,” he says firmly.

“I concur,” Tendou says, moving his focus back to you and smirking. “That did nothing for me. On the other hand…”

He turns back to whisper something in Ushijima’s ear, and before you realize what’s happening, Ushijima is standing and leaning over the table, pulling you up by the collar of your shirt, and kissing you properly. You feel the familiar heat flood over your face and you shouldn’t, you’re in public, it’s rude but your jaw dips open anyway and you feel Ushijima’s tongue slipping into your mouth—

Someone at a table to your right coughs conspicuously and you jerk back into your seat. Ushijima follows suit a second later. You murmur an apology for the PDA, cheeks burning.

“Yeah… Get it? I’m not into him, but I’m into that,” Tendou says, looking infuriatingly self-satisfied and flushed.

So. Threesome it is.

It shouldn’t really be a shock when for Tendou’s birthday, he requests a live viewing of the cheerleader costume you teased him with at the start of your relationship—and it isn’t a shock, not really. That doesn’t mean it’s not mortifying. You bring the costume with you in a bag along with the jersey (there’s no way in hell you were going to walk from your building to theirs wearing a skirt that short) and change into it in their bathroom, and when you hesitantly emerge wearing it, you swear you could hear a pin drop.

It’s quiet. You go over your outfit in your head: little tiny skirt that barely covers your ass, knee socks with two pink stripes ar the top, hair tied up in pigtails with bows. And the jersey, which Tendou supplied. The whole nine yards, and your brain can’t seem to decide whether to feel adorable or ridiculous. “G-Go team?” you say uncertainly, raising the pompoms above your head.

Ushijima’s mouth is actually open. You don’t think you’ve seen that before. Tendou’s eyes are bugging out of his head, more so than usual. Your face is burning hot—god, why do you go along with this stuff? you like them way too much—until Tendou snaps out of his reverie (literally shaking his head like a wet dog to do so) and grins. “Hell fucking yes. Go team.”

And then he’s on top of you, off the couch and wrapping his arms around your shoulders and lapping up at the side of your neck. Rough fingertips press into your jaw, tipping your head to the side for access, and his tongue laves over your pulse point—and then he bites it. Just a nip, but you still suck in a gasp. “Wait—no hickies—“

“It’s my birthday. Please?” Tendou’s face doesn’t leave your neck, so you feel his voice more than you see it, humming out over your skin and forcing shivers up your spine.

Damnit, you’re almost out of concealer—then again, with the way the two of them are looking at you, you can’t really see a way you get out of this unscathed. “Mm—fine,” you squeak, and as soon as you say it Tendou’s mouth is latching onto that tender skin and doing his absolute best to mark you up.

“What is this?” Ushijima’s voice is behind you suddenly, and the heat and overwhelming presence of his body comes with it. The weight of his hands presses into your waist, stroking up over your ribcage until he’s reached the fabric of the jersey you’re wearing as a shirt—his jersey.

“Isn’t she cute?” Tendou’s voice is teasing, purring. He hikes one of your legs up to his waist and you’d probably fall back if it weren’t for Ushijima behind you, holding you up. “She wanted to reward us for doing so well this season. Our little cheerleader.”

What the—this was his idea, not yours, and you twist your head back to Ushijima to tell him so (even though you’re not really sure at this point why you should care) except as soon as you’re facing him, his hand is fisting into one of your pigtails and pulling your head back so he can layer his own bitemark over Tendou’s. “Ours…” he agrees.

“Whose bed?” Tendou aks. You can feel his cock against your stomach—he’s not being shy about it, more like he’s pulling your leg closer and actively rubbing it against you—and Ushijima’s is poking into your back.

It’s big. They both are. You stand up on your tip toes and breathe in that yummy cologne smell—the one they both use but it smells different on Ushijima than it does on Tendou.

“I don’t think the three of us can fit on a bed,” Ushijima says.

“You’re probably right,” Tendou laughs, and he weaves his fingers in with yours, playing with your hands in that way he likes. “So what do you think, baby? Is it okay if we fuck you on the floor?”

You nod.

///

“It’s not going to fit.”

“It will, it will. We stretched her out. She’s flexible.”

Ushijima exhales quickly and pulls back. “She’s tight.”

“Don’t worry so much…she likes pain, right (Y/N)?” Tendou slaps your cheek lightly, lovingly, looking down at you like you’re absolutely perfect. “Isn’t that right, princess?”

Except you can’t answer, because Tendou’s cock is all the way down your throat, so deep that your mouth tries to close up every time he moves. Your muscles contract and you make a little muffled humming sound and he feels his cock twitch from the feeling of the vibrations.

Fuck, that feels— Tendou bites his tongue to hold back the familiar rise in his stomach and pulls your head off him, admiring how pretty you look with your lips all flushed and drool dripping down your chin. “Oops, sorry, hard to talk with your mouth full huh…”

“It—“ You cut yourself off to cough daintily and wipe a stray piece of hair away from your face. “It’s okay, Ushi, I’m used to—I mean, Tendou’s also pretty…”

…big.

You can’t even say it. You’re on your hands and knees on the carpet of their dorm suite, skirt flipped up past your waist, panties around one ankle, dripping pussy juice down your thighs from getting fingered, with your two boyfriends discussing how best to get inside you—and you can’t make yourself say that Tendou has a big dick. It’s too embarrassing.

But it’s true! They’ve been in locker rooms with other men, they must know that they’re both stupid huge—like, could be pornstars if the volleyball thing didn’t work out huge. And while you don’t mind a little pain (although Tendou did not have to say it like that) you have to admit you’re kind of nervous at the prospect of taking both of them at once. Which probably isn’t helping matters.

Ushijima’s knee nudges one of yours to the side, spreading your legs further so he can fit his hand between your thighs again. Two thick, wet fingers push back up into your cunt and you gasp lightly when you feel him try—unsuccessfully—to scissor them and stretch you out a little more. He leans down over you and you feel a cloud of warmth against your back—the heat of his breath on your neck… “You need to relax,” Ushijima tells you in a low, raspy voice, and your cheeks burn because he must be able to feel the way your cunt pulses when he talks to you like that, right?

“You gotta stop thinking with your upstairs brain, baby girl.” Tendou tilts your face up and licks another smear of spittle off your mouth. “Do you want me eat you out? Or—wait—“ His eyes flash and he grins. “Want to try something new?”

Without waiting for a response, Tendou gets up to rummage through the drawer in his nightstand where he keeps lube and condoms. You only get a quick glimpse of his bare ass before he’s back in front of you, holding a sex toy you’ve never seen before.

“What is that,” you ask, even though it’s pretty obvious. A purple bullet vibrator and…what looks like a remote control? With a dial.

“Birthday present to myself,” Tendou says happily, eyes crinkling up at the corners like he’s expecting a pat on the back or a gold star.

“You—want to use that on…?”

“I want Wakatoshi to use it on you—“ Tendou tosses the bullet to Ushijima, who pulls his fingers out of your pussy to catch it and turns it over in his hand curiously. “And I want to control the speed. Can we, can we?”

You have your own vibrator (not that you’ve gotten much use out of it since you started dating Tendou), but you’ve never used a sex toy with anyone else. It can’t be that different, can it? And if it helps you relax, that has to be a good thing…

“I—I guess we can try…” you say, and before you’re even done saying it Tendou’s laying a sloppy wet kiss on your mouth.

“You heard her, Wakatoshi.” Tendou’s face is still against yours so you can’t see much but you can hear the click of the dial and the responding hum of the vibrator turning on.

“Aa.” Ushijima’s fingers are cool when he rolls the vibrator up your slit—probably a combination of the lube and your juices?—and you’re still kind of trying to adjust to the change of temperature when he gets the bullet in the right spot, pressed against your clit, and you feel it.

Your body moves on its own. The humming is moving through you up from your pussy, making your back arch, making you feel your heartbeat in your clit and you wriggle your hips to the side to either get away or get closer but Ushijima lays one of his massive hands down on your ass cheek to keep you from moving. “She likes it.”

“Is that true, is your pussy getting all wet?” You nod shakily and Tendou straightens up and pushes his hair back, letting a few red bangs flop back over his forehead. “You want me to turn it up?”

“Ah—uhmm, yes—yes, fuck—“ You try to grind your hips back into the soft silicon of the bullet, but the pressure of Ushijima’s grip on your ass increases until you whimper and hold still. His hand doesn’t feel cold anymore—the rough calluses on his fingers are drenched and everything feels too warm.

“If you keep moaning like that, everyone on the floor’s gonna hear you,” Tendou says, squishing one of your pigtails between his fingers and pulling your face level with his abdomen. “How about me ’n’ Wakatoshi fill up these pretty holes and see if we can shut you up?”

“Ah—“ There’s a click on the dial—more than one—and your eyes fly open and your jaw drops so you can moan—except Tendou’s thumb is on your teeth, pushing your mouth open further so he can guide his cock onto your tongue. Without thinking, you let your throat open, sucking your cheeks in around the shaft and swallowing as much of him as you can.

“Ohh—yeah, yesss, fuck baby you’re so good at that…” Tendou’s whole abdomen feels tight with the way you’re sucking him. God, do you have any idea how precious you are gagging on his cock like that, squeezing your eyes shut to concentrate and trying to grind against Ushijima’s hand? You’re too good for just him—it would feel wrong to keep you all to himself, unfair somehow— “Wakatoshi, how’s she doing? Think she can take you yet?”

Ushijima shifts closer to you and slips a finger between your pussy lips to expose the slick pink hole that keeps clenching and unclenching in time with the way your hips are trying to move against the bullet. He pulls the toy away for a second to test (you whine; Tendou grunts in pleasure) and your cunt is so hot and sticky around his fingers that he doesn’t think he can really wait anymore.

You’re sweating, rocking back and forth slightly with every time Tendou fucks into your mouth, and Ushijima thinks briefly that he wants to see your face, that he should be looking at you when he fucks you, but it’s fine. There’ll be time for that later. He leans over your back a bit—you liked that before. “Stop me if it hurts,” he says.

“I told you, she—oh fuck—she likes when it hurts a little.” Tendou pulls his dick out of your mouth to let you catch your breath for a second.

Ushijima pumps his dick into his fist a few times, letting the mixed lube and slick coat the ribbed latex of the condom, and then he presses the bullet back against your clit and pushes the head of his cock up into your soaked cunt. And—

“Fuck, fuck Ushi—you’re, it’s so much…”

—you’re tight.

Still tight, even though he’s been so patient… Like your body’s too small for him, like your cunt is too tight for his cock. But you want this. And you’re not stopping him, and…he’s stronger than you. He can go deeper if he wants.

“Don’t drag it out, man,” Tendou laughs. He’s panting and his cheeks are washed in pink. “Right baby? Wouldn’t you rather he just get it over with?”

There’s a second of hesitation and then you turn back toward Ushijima and your head bobs up and down. And, well, if that’s what you’re asking for…

Ushijima grabs your upper arm and pulls you back toward him—the delicate dip of your spine arches back—Tendou strokes his thumb over the dial of the remote and the sound of buzzing gets a lot louder—Ushijima thrusts the rest of his cock up into you until he feels the tip of his cock shoving against your cervix.

“Oh, oh—“ There’s too much. Too much happening—it’s—what? so big so big—your brain doesn’t know what to focus on: your knees hurt, even though the carpet?—someone’s playing German rap in the next room, probably trying to drown you out—your boyfriend’s tongue in your mouth, your boyfriend’s cock splitting you in half, your boyfriend holding the vibrator against your clit and turning the dial up up up—

“Fuck,” Tendou says softly—only it’s not Tendou, you realize a second later when you feel the steam of breath on the nape of your neck. It’s Ushijima—who you’ve never heard swear before, who you didn’t think ever swore—Ushijima, who’s slowly rolling his hips against yours, heavy thrusts that hit all the way in, only an inch or two at a time, like he has to move but he wants to have as much of himself touching you as possible.

Your boyfriend’s face is next to yours—both of them, Ushijima breathing heavily against the skin of your cheek while he rocks your hips back and forth in time with the way he’s fucking you and Tendou leaning in to bite a tender spot on your jaw. “How’s that feel?” Tendou asks, half sincere and half mocking.

“Ss—uhhh…fu—u—uck—“ You’re trying to answer but you just want to whimper and moan and ugh— the combination of the bullet on your clit and the cock stretching your cunt out is making you want to shatter into a million little pieces, melt, turn to dust, whatever, and you’re pretty sure the weight of their hands and their bodies pressing you into the floor is the only thing keeping you from snapping and the vibrator is on too high and it’s so quick you barely have time to realize but you’re—you’re—

“—cumming!” you gasp, feeling the walls of your pussy suck down on the massive cock that’s already stretching you out past your limits.

Ushijima didn’t think it was possible for you to get tighter but apparently you can. The slippery wet mess inside of you clenches around him and he has to close his eyes and recite pro volleyball stats in his head to keep from cumming along with you.

You cum hard, with your whole body—he’s heard you before, when you and Tendou thought you were being quiet, but feeling it is different. You’re shaking everywhere, sweat beading on the back of your neck, eyes fluttering like you’re about to cry, and your cunt is still squeezing his cock in desperate little pulses, so hot and sweet that he almost wants to leave the vibrator where it is on your clit—but you’re almost screaming at this point and someone’s going to call the RA so he drops it to the side and you sigh in relief.

When he’s got his own instincts under control, Ushijima drops you back onto your hands and knees and pulls out of you slowly, sliding the ribs of the condom against your g-spot and listening to the way you moan until Tendou grabs your jaw and lifts your mouth back to his cock. “Don’t get selfish,” he purrs happily, petting your hair and then pushing down on the back of your head to make you throat fuck him deeper. “Hey Wakatoshi—put the vibrator back on her, ‘kay?”

Ushijima’s holding the bullet tight in his fist, and he feels it when Tendou takes the level down to the lowest degree in anticipation of him holding it back over your sensitive clit. You whine lightly around the dick forcing your jaw open. It doesn’t sound like a no.

It’s a good thing Tendou’s keeping your mouth busy. When Ushijima rolls the bullet back through your puffy lips and up to the right spot, you really do your best to scream.

Ushijima’s almost too busy ramming back into your poor little hole to hear it, but Tendou’s talking to you as he slides his cock back and forth over your tongue. “Let’s go for multis, baby, how’s three sound? I bet…we can make you cum three times before we do. Okay?”

You drool, sniffle, make some indeterminate noise that might have been a word if you weren’t being spit-roasted by two cocks that are too big for you. Ushijima sucks in an inhale and tries to ease up his grip on your hip, knowing you’re probably already going to bruise… “It might be too much for her,” he pants without slowing down.

“It’s fine, she can—she can tap out if she needs to stop. But she’s doing such a good job, aren’t you?” Tendou’s pale fingers wrap around the back of your head, holding you down while you make gagging sounds on his cock. “I kinda want us to be mean to you today princess—ah, is that okay?

“—Mmh—gh—hh—“

Tendou pulls your head off, swirling his thumb up over the vibrator dial right as Ushijima gives a slow, controlled pump, forcing you to feel the stretch in every muscle of your pussy, dragging each ridge on the ribbed condom against your insides. “Two more, baby girl—it’ll feel good, I promise. You know we love you, right?”

Rule #4 of dating two people: don’t take promises seriously.

They break that rule. Twice more, as promised, and then Tendou whines and shoots his cum down your throat and Ushijima’s cock moves in your tummy and you can feel his breath catching and shuddering and then he squeezes your ass like he’s trying to punish it and then he cums too. It’s been hours by that point but Ushijima’s refractory period is like 30 seconds so when he gets hard again you give him your best attempt at a blowjob (more like a drool-y handjob with a lot of tongue since you can’t even really get your jaw all the way around) and Tendou makes you sit on his face while you do it, jacking his own dick and licking you out slow and lazy and dreamy, and if you had to rate them you’d say that one, that fourth climax, is the best.

///

After all of that the three of you each really need a shower—you especially, all that sweat and smeared makeup and cum (which better come out in the laundry or else your roommate’s going to kill you for ruining her Halloween costume). You try, but every time you stand up your legs tremble like you’re shivering and you have to sit back down or risk falling on your (already extremely tender) ass. Your boyfriends share a look and then they’re stripping the remnants of the costume off of you and Ushijima’s lifting you up like you’re made of paper and taking you over to his bed, and Tendou’s kissing your cheek, and it gets dark all of a sudden and there’s a blanket on you and you’re very very sleepy and you should really get back to your dorm and get some work done on that lab report you have due, but maybe you could just close your eyes for a moment…

You wake up a few times in the night, roused into that kind of half-sleep where everything you hear seems like it’s far away and unimportant. The first time is when Ushijima gets out of the shower and gets in bed with you—there isn’t really space on the twin XL mattress for the two of you but he makes it work. His hair is a little wet and it feels cold when he lifts up the blanket to get in next to you. You get up on an elbow and blink blearily at him and half-say his name, but he just tells you “Shh. Go back to sleep,” and rubs between your shoulder blades until you do.

The second time is early-early in the morning, before Tendou and Ushijima go off to the gym or to morning practice. 6 AM maybe. You hear them talking in the next room, their living room/kitchen, low hushed voices because they don’t want to wake you up. You probably wouldn’t have if they didn’t say your name.

“…(Y/N)…for the summer?” That’s Ushijima. You keep your eyes closed, barely listening, barely understanding.

“Looking for a job here…I’m trying to find a place for the three of us. If she wants, we could…” Tendou now. There’s a stiff clink of a metal bottle against a counter. Sound of a fridge opening, something pouring.

“And then what?” Ushijima asks.

“What, you mean after—“

“College. How long can we…”

You wonder, if you made an effort not to listen, could you will yourself not to hear? You look around the room in an effort to distract yourself—crinkled posters and postcards on the wall, photos of you with either one or both of them, a pre-made smoothie in a plastic bottle and a piece of toast with peanut butter that one of them left on Ushijima’s nightstand for you—but you can’t stop yourself from listening.

Tendou takes a long time to answer. “Well—forever, ideally? I just have this feeling like…she’s the one. For both of us.”

You don’t really catch what Ushijima says next, but you know he’s agreeing.

Okay, you think, pulling the blanket up and trying not to feel stupidly happy. Me too.

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #ushijima x reader #tendou x reader #hq x reader #jackrrabbit.updates #hq imagines #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #tendou satori #tendou satori x reader #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! imagines

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the-soliloquies-of-sadists · 2 years

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#298

“You looking for raw trucker cock? Well I got a beer can dick. It only goes in raw. And I don’t pull out until I unload deep inside you. So no backing out if the pain is excruciating from me tearing up your hole, because it will be. If you want the fuck of your life, go ahead and strip, right here and now….

“Do you see a sleeper on my cab? No. So we are playing out here. There’s no one else here except that other driver. He and I talked before you pulled in, and he might be joining in on any rape scene.

“Go on strip. Right here. Out in the open. I don’t care. I want you naked, on all fours, under this light. Don’t worry, if someone should pull in, we’ll have plenty of time to recover. Naked or piss off. Those are your two options.

“You can leave your shoes on. A bit chunky; I like that. Now turn around. Show me that ass. Oooh. That’s one beefy but. Furry too. …And you come here lubed! I like that. Now bend over.

“If you are going to be a nelly bitch just from one finger going in, you might as well piss off. My cock is significantly thicker than that. Relax your hole.

“I’m going to ask this one last time. Do you want me to fuck you? After this, there is no backing out. Period. Do you? If the answer is no, then piss off. If the answer is yes, you can tell me by bending over with your fingertips on the asphalt, your legs spread, and your ass up high.

“There you go. OK. Get ready to scream your head off. I told the other driver to be prepared.

“That’s it! Scream motherfucker. Scream! You have raw trucker cock in your hole. That should be your focus. Your screams are only making me harder.

“The other driver is coming over….

“…No, I don’t mind if you use his mouth. I haven’t tried it. I went right for his ass. If I start with their mouth, they always back out. Oh fuck. His hole just relaxed a bit.

“How’s his mouth?... Yeah, I see he didn’t offer much resistance going into his throat.

“This is why I stop here. There’s always an ass or two to fuck. The fags are rapeable. The only traffic that stops here at this vista point at night are guys looking to play. I’ve only seen one cop here. I fucked him too. But that was when my company had me long hauling it and gave me a bunk.

“…I do miss it from time to time. I like the naps I would take. … But I prefer to be outside to fuck an ass. There’s nothing like being under the stars and being balls deep smoking a smooth assed cigar. You want to try out his ass? It’s pretty good. I haven’t nutted in it yet…. You should try it….

“Spin around fag…. Aw shut up. What are you complaining about? Those are your ass juices on my cock. Just suck.

“…These fags. I tell ya!... Isn’t that a nice hole? Go ahead and nut in it if you want…. You want it down its throat?

“…You hear that? The man wants to nut in your gut. Spin around again. And don’t fucking hesitate on cleaning him off.

“…Yeah, I think I’m ready to give this fag my raw load too. Let’s do it. Let’s fill him up with raw driver loads. He’ll be jerking off to this for years. What fag wouldn’t want to have two raw loads from two truckers?

“Oh man I’m getting close. You?... Let’s do this. I’m so close. Oh man. Oh man. Do it! Do it! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Yeah!...

“Man that was hot. No don’t pull out yet. I never pull out right away. If I need to go, I always give a raw load of piss. And,… yes, this fag is getting that. Whew! You pissing?

“Take your time. He’s not going anywhere. Just let it go…. No? Trust me it feels good to go. Try it next time.

“…Fag, get your mouth over here and clean me off.”

“I always have them clean me off at the end. That’s what they are here for. You got to clock in soon? I have to take off myself. This was only a lunch break. I wish I was back to long hauling.

“Is your company hiring? Mine is shifting to local business. Here follow me back to my truck. I would love to get your contact information. Have you been with them long? 13 years? Wow. Benefits good?

“…Just leave him. I never look back at the fag. He needs to feel used and tossed aside. Let me guess, is he a bit disoriented? He’s probably just trying to figure out what just happened to him... Good!

It was fun. I hope to connect with you either back here or some other spot.”

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

Text

𝗹𝗶𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 || (very dark) 70s!Bucky x reader

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: he tried to be sympathetic to your cause, he really did, but he couldn’t just let you get away with disrespecting him like that.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.4k

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: smut (noncon, plus breeding kink and tons of degradation, like very heavy degradation, and multiple orgasms/overstimulation), misogyny, a bit of dumbification, housewife kink, ‘sir’ kink (brief), choking, implied anal, spitting (not on the reader, unfortunately lmao), quite a bit more than period-typical sexism, awful awful awful this fic is absolutely awful

Brooklyn, 1970.

Bucky’s mornings were sacred. He had his rituals: showering, cooking breakfast, reading the paper and having his first drink and cigarette of the day, all before he left for work.

But throughout this entire week, his mornings had been ruined by the stupid fucking protest in the park just outside his window. And to think he’d actually paid more for an apartment with a view of the park— he hadn’t realized then that the “view” was gonna be a bunch of hippies creating awful music and an unbearable smell that left his whole apartment reeking of reefer if he dared to open his window.

Attempting to ignore it for a week only made him more resentful with each passing day. Each time he figured the crowd would surely leave soon or at least be quiet for the night, they seemed to somehow get louder just to spite him.

He probably should've waited until he was a bit less agitated to go down and try to bargain with you, but he stormed down there instead and tapped you on the shoulder when his presence alone wasn't enough to distract you from your incessant chanting.

“Would you consider being quiet?" he asked firmly. "I have to work in the morning and—”

“We won’t be quiet until women have equal treatment under the eyes of society and the law,” you interrupted to explain condescendingly, shocking him with your icy tone. He could hardly believe your attitude, in fact he couldn’t remember any woman speaking to him that way in his life: so far, he wasn’t enjoying it.

“I just thought you could be a little more respectful,” Bucky shot back, even more stern. “You’re not making anyone wanna support your movement by acting entitled and inconveniencing everyone.”

“I’m sorry the revolution is inconvenient for you,” you replied, but it didn’t sound much like an apology.

He wanted to say more but you blew him off and disappeared into the crowd, leaving him confused and irritated and livid. Up until now he had been quietly skeptical about all this talk of liberation but now he saw it for the poison it really was. A girl like you— who could've been a real looker with some willingness to try and a better attitude— talking to a man like him with so much hate and over what, a polite request?

This could not be tolerated; he couldn't let you get away with acting like that. And lucky for you, he was exactly the guy you needed to teach you your lesson.

The good thing about hippies high on shrooms is they aren’t the most observant. When he returned to the demonstration area the next night, he was able to grab you roughly and pull you back from the crowd with almost no trouble at all, dragging you into an empty alley and clamping his hand down over your mouth as your eyes went wide and your throat vibrated with silent screams.

“Shh, shh,” he soothed against your ear, “whatcha fightin’ for?”

He liked the way it felt to have you squirming against his grasp, using all your strength and not even getting close to escaping.

“How does it feel to know I can do anything I want to you?” he growled against your ear. “C’mon, sweetheart, can’t you put up a better fight than that? I thought you believed in equality… you should be able to get away if you’re as strong as I am.”

He felt your warm tears trailing down around his fingers which held your face tightly, the struggle of your limbs slowing and weakening slightly. His cock was already getting hard as he imagined the moment you would finally give in.

“You remember me, don’t you? You didn’t need to be so rude, darlin’. You could’ve just been nice and none of this would be happening.”

Your elbow shot back into his ribs and he exhaled sharply but didn't let go, grabbing your wrists and holding your arms to your chest as he pinned you to the wall.

"Oh, that's not gonna work, babydoll. I'm so much stronger and bigger than you, all you're gonna do is make me angrier. Is that what you want, sweetheart? To make me angry?" he asked mockingly, leaning in to lick the shell of your ear as you tried to turn away. “Pretty girl like you would make a great wife, why would you want anything else?”

Ignoring your struggle, he reached into your shirt and purred as he groped your chest, your nipples hardening when he pinched them. “Maybe I can get behind this bra-burning thing if it means having easier access to your tits all the time,” he grinned. “How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself when I can see them through your shirt? Shouldn’t be showing ‘em off if you don’t want any attention.”

As fun as it was to play with your tits, he had bigger plans, so he reached lower to start tugging down your jeans, your legs uselessly kicking as he exposed your ass and thighs.

His cock was already rock hard as he hastily opened his fly and pulled it out with one hand, leaning back to spit on it quickly. He spread the fluid with a few strokes over his length, figuring it would be enough to get inside you even if he didn’t really care if he hurt you.

Your eyes went wide and your head bucked wildly as he poked the head of it against your opening, your body fighting a little harder once again. The irony of that, though, was that you were already plenty wet in spite of what he had expected; it was so much funnier to watch you struggle now that he knew you were not-so-secretly enjoying it.

“Don’t be so dramatic," he chuckled darkly, "I bet you can take a cock real easy since you believe in all this ‘free love’ bullshit.”

He groaned as he pushed into you, impressed by how tight you were— so tight that it made his cock throb right away, your walls pulsing and rippling around him as he filled you to the brim.

“Oh fuck, there you go…” he hissed, smiling as you sobbed harder and struggled a bit more before finally relaxing into his tight embrace. "You're gonna take it all, baby, every fuckin' inch of me."

A hard sob choked out of you every time he slammed himself to the end of you; he could feel the hatred radiating from you, the way you would kill him in a moment if only you weren't so weak. But he could feel your reluctant acceptance, too, and the way it was slowly turning into euphoria— you were finally starting to like how it felt to be helpless to him, it was obvious with the way your pussy gave him such a warm and willing welcome while your pretty tits got even harder.

You clearly wanted to hate him, but your body knew better.

"You think I'm a sexist pig, I'm sure," he chuckled, "but I'm really not— I love women! And you know what I love most? Huh?"

He felt you nervously shake your head behind his hand and he laughed.

"I love the way you get so dumb when you get a cock in you. All those useless little thoughts leaving your head when you're finally getting fucked right."

Your cries got louder even though they were still muffled by his hand, your sweet little pussy giving him a squeeze of encouragement.

"It's okay to like it, babydoll, it's what you were meant for. Made to be my brainless fucktoy… born to serve me," he growled. “You really should learn to appreciate," he grunted between brutal thrusts, "that your only purpose is to keep my dinner hot and my cock warm.”

Your eyes rolled back in your head and he felt your walls bear down on him tightly, wetness seeping down around him.

"Oh fuck, are you coming? Shit," he moaned. "Looks like you really needed to be put in your place, just needed to be used... god, you made a fuckin' mess, too, you soaked my cock…"

Your little hands tightened into fists, pushing against where his arm held them back, but he stayed steady as he pumped into you, letting himself get a bit lost in the feeling of you while he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

It felt so damn good to have a cunt coming around him, but it was even better knowing that you were fighting it and still couldn’t stop it, completely helpless to how good he was making you feel.

You almost screamed under his hand when he reached down to quickly rub your clit, your back arching to try to run away from his touch; poor thing, you were so sensitive it probably hurt you, but he was having too much fun watching you realize you were going to come again.

"Yeah, gimme another one, slut," he grinned, your legs quivering as waves of slick coated him and started to even drip down your legs. "Can't stop coming like the dirty whore you are, huh? Bet nobody's made you come like this before— cause nobody's given it to you right. Nobody's shown ya what it's supposed to be like when a man takes you and makes you his."

From the way you moaned softly, teary eyes fluttering shut, he knew you liked the sound of that.

"Yeah, wanna be mine, baby? Wanna be my little slut? Or do you want me to pump this pussy full and leave you here on the ground for any other man that comes by to use you if he needs?"

You groaned softly, a weak little noise, and he felt his cock flex; as much as he wanted this to last as long as possible, he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“M’close, honey,” he breathed. “I’m gonna come.”

He laughed breathlessly when you shut your eyes, like you were trying to go somewhere else in your mind, trying to pretend this wasn’t real. But it was real, and he wasn’t going to let you forget that. He was elated to make your nightmares come true.

"I sure wouldn't mind pulling out and covering that pretty face you've got,” he hissed. “It'd be funny to see you go back to your little march and show them how owned you are. But not today, babydoll, I think there's only one way you're gonna learn your lesson."

Another muffled gurgle from you, and this time it didn’t even sound like protest. Maybe you were just too tired for that at this point, but it gave him hope that you could finally behave.

"I'm gonna take my hand away from your mouth and you're gonna beg me to come inside you, is that clear?" he grunted, feeling you nod vigorously. "You're not gonna scream are you?"

You shook your head, and he slowly pulled his hand from your mouth as you gasped for air. "Please— come in me," you panted.

"Address me as 'sir'," he instructed.

"Please, sir, I— I want you to come," you whined.

He chuckled right against your ear, feeling you shiver in his grasp. "Honey, I don't give a fuck what you want."

To think you ever resisted your natural desire for submission was absurd now, considering the way that statement made you openly moan, your walls fluttering around him.

“Gonna fill you so fuckin’ deep you’ll never get it outta you, sweetheart.”

One more orgasm washed over you, making him laugh darkly while he watched you bite your lip to attempt to stay quiet; but that was impossible once he fucked you harder just to spite you, having to hold you tight to make sure he got as deep in you as possible. Your whole body shook as he slammed into you, and he laughed at how dumb and helpless you looked.

"Bet you're on those new birth control pills," he grimaced. They really weren’t that new, but he still hadn’t gotten used to them. "Makes me sick to think you're letting a perfectly good womb go to waste. Betcha want me to breed you nice and deep, yeah? Wanna get knocked up? You don't even care that I'm a stranger, you wanna get your pussy filled by any random man's come so you can have any random man's baby, ain't that right?"

At first he had worried that you would scream or cry for help, but now his concern was more that your moans would be too loud and somebody would catch the two of you in this alley. Even if it was obvious now that you wanted it, public indecency was still a crime.

Good thing he had a new way to shut you up: his hand tight around your throat, silencing your sobs to blessed silence. It was so hot to have you entirely at his mercy like that, to feel your pulse beneath his fingers, that he couldn’t stop himself from speeding up his thrusts suddenly.

"Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he gasped, “fuck, y-you… little whore…”

He had a habit of running his mouth when he was right on the edge, and the way your pussy was milking him for all he was worth made him spit out whatever filth he could think of.

“Stupid fuckin' bitch," he mumbled under his breath as he fucked you as fast and rough as he could, chasing his high with no regard for your pleasure or your pain. "Dumb whore, fuck, you stupid— ah, shit— stupid fucking cunt!"

He cried out as he filled you, groaning loudly with every pump of his seed into your waiting body. Only when he was sure every drop was inside you did he release his grip on your neck, a loud gasp coming first before a few coughs and chokes that only made his cock harder despite having just filled you.

You started to struggle again, and he couldn’t believe it— after everything, did you still not know your place?

There wasn’t much time to relax and enjoy the afterglow when you were already trying to get away, and so he had to hold you tight again while he smiled exhaustedly.

“N-no,” you stammered, and he covered your mouth again as he pulled your head back to rest on his shoulder. Clearly he hadn’t done enough yet to fuck that word out of you.

“Where ya goin’, sweetheart?” he panted against your ear, still catching his breath, his chest covered in a thin layer of sweat where it was exposed by his shirt. “You’ve still got another hole to fill.”

#dark!bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes dark fic #bucky barnes noncon #dark!bucky barnes smut

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