#I don’t think people understand how good it is

[ktgoodmorning]

Keeping Secrets

Claudia Pina x putellas!reader

You get a new addition, much to your sister's dismay but your girlfriends excitement.

Masterlist

“Mapi, I’m serious right now, you can’t tell anyone I’m doing this. Not Claudia, definitely not Alexia, nobody.” The older woman rolled her eyes at you but you both knew she’d take you seriously, if anyone wanted to avoid the wrath of your sister, it was Mapi. You wouldn’t have even bothered bringing Mapi but you needed the moral support and it was her friend that’d be doing the piercing for you. 

“I don’t understand why you’re not telling Pina, though. She’s gonna see it soon enough anyways, right?” Now it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“I already told you, I’m not hiding it from her, it's just a surprise cause I know she’ll love it.” You apparently didn’t hide the smirk on your face as well as you’d hoped to, but you knew that the second you let Claudia see your new tongue piercing, she would be obsessed for more reason than one. 

“Ew, if you don’t wipe that look off your face I might actually throw up,” you giggled at the older woman and pushed her away playfully, something you inherited from your older sister. “Come on, I have to fill in as your older sister since Alexia still doesn’t know about you two. Which I still don’t think is a good idea, by the way.” She gave you a knowing look but still kept a smile on her face. 

You knew she was right, both about her stepping into your sister’s role, and also that it was a bad idea that you and Claudia were hiding your relationship from her, but at this point you just weren’t ready. To be fair, it’s not like Alexia was the only person you were hiding it from. The only people who knew about you two were Mapi, Ingrid, and Vicky, and Vicky wasn’t even supposed to know. 

Vicky only knew about the two of you because she had been playing games on your phone when you got a rather X rated text from Claudia and easily caught on to the nature of your relationship. The younger girl knowing about it was more of a nuisance than anything else. Her new favorite thing to do was hold it over your head when she wanted something from you. You didn’t quite think she’d actually spill your secret, but it was a risk you still weren’t willing to take, so every time you said no to her, she’d give you that look, with that stupid little smirk, until you eventually gave in and gave her what she wanted.

Mapi, on the other hand, had been surprisingly mature about it all. You and Pina had both, unknowingly, been telling her about your feelings for each other before you ever got together, so it only felt natural to tell her when you finally did.

 The night Claudia finally asked you out and you said yes, you both were so giddy and excited that you called her to tell her. The defender knew it would happen eventually but was just waiting for you two to figure it out yourselves only because Ingrid told her to stay out of your business, so when she got the call, she was almost as excited as both of you. She also knew however, that she had a big responsibility being the only one who knew (besides Ingrid). 

Both of you were close with her, making her protective over both of you. The fact that neither of your other friends or family knew, only made her more protective, especially for you. 

Mapi was obviously quite close with your sister, so she felt she had a duty to fill that sisterly role when Alexia was kept out of the loop. Because of this, it was typical for you to see her switch from her role as your friend to that of a protective older sister. The athlete didn’t approve of the way you kept it from your sisters and made sure you knew that from the very beginning, but at the end of the day, she knew you were an adult and couldn’t force you. So at the very least, she’d make sure to stand in for them until they knew.

That’s how you found yourself here, getting glared at every time you made a suggestive joke over the piercing you were about to get. “I still don’t get why you’re getting a tongue piercing, Cari. It sounds painful and you can’t even see it!” 

“Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean you can’t feel-”

“IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE I’LL HIT YOU!” She gave you a gentle shove while you were busy laughing at your own joke. It truly wasn’t the only reason you were getting the piercing but it sure didn’t hurt. You knew Claudia would love it and love how it looked on you and you were excited to finally do it. Your schedule had been so busy that you had been waiting for a day where you had time, not too close to a game day, and today was perfect. All you had was a recovery session later in the day before a couple days off to take it easy and let it heal. The more time off you had, the easier you knew it’d be to hide it from your sister too. 

...

A few hours later, you found yourself sitting in the locker room in front of your cubby, using your tongue to play with the new metal bar going through it. To say you were excited would have been an understatement. Just feeling the metal in your mouth gave you a confidence boost you didn’t know you needed. 

You were buzzing to show Claudia, knee bouncing, fingers tapping along the side of the bench next to you. The plan was to wait until after training to show her. You knew the second she saw it that she’d be too excited to play it cool and keep the rest of the team ( and more importantly your sister) from seeing it. She also was likely to be all over you and give away the secret of your relationship as well, so you decided to wait until you were home, or at least in the car, before she could see it.  

You were on your phone as you sat there, waiting for the rest of your teammates to arrive, especially your girlfriend. More of your teammates started to walk in but you paid them no mind, spending your time texting Claudia, excited to see her for the first time all day. You missed your sister coming in and shooting you a suspicious look over the small smile that was plastered on your face as you texted. If you realized it was there, you would’ve worked harder to hide it but it was so subconscious that you had no idea you were doing it. 

“Somebody’s in a good mood today, what’s got you smiling at your phone?” Alexia greeted you with a smile and a small ruffle to your hair, something she knew you hated and was always doing anyway. 

You scowled at her actions and immediately put your phone down, maybe a bit too quickly, causing your sister to instantly take note. “Nobody, I’m just in a good mood, I had a good morning with Mapi.” You gave her a small shrug and watched a smirk growing on her face. 

“Hmmm, I just thought it was a cute dog video or something but since you said it’s nobody, I assume it must be a person then?”

You met her with an eye roll but you couldn’t deny the blush that was growing on your face, suddenly nervous you’d give yourself away. “Alexia, don’t you have something better to do?” you sighed. 

She furrowed her eyebrows at you, seemingly intrigued by something else now. “What’s up with you, your voice sounds weird?” Her question was light-hearted enough but you instantly froze.

The one thing you didn’t account for- the way your tongue was a bit swollen and your speech was a bit off as you got used to the new piece of metal in your mouth. The comment from your sister made your eyes go wide. Your mind was racing to come up with a lie but simultaneously went completely blank. You opened your mouth to speak but then shut it when you came up with nothing, only incriminating yourself even further. It was clear to everyone in the room that you were hiding something. 

You didn’t realize how many of your teammates had now arrived, including your girlfriend who came bouncing through the door at that exact moment. Her face lit up when she saw you but dropped the second she saw the look on yours. Clearly she realized something was going on between you and Alexia. 

All the girls knew not to get involved in anything between you two, but it was obvious they were trying to hide their interest in the current situation. You saw the little side eyes and short glances your way as they tried to catch a word of what was going on. 

You and Alexia were close; you had a great relationship. But it also wasn’t unusual for you to butt heads at times. She was fiercely protective over you and at times it pissed you off. Sometimes you wished she could be more like Alba and not worry so much about pushing you to be your best but just let you live your life instead. When the two of you got to fighting, everyone knew, there was no getting in the middle of it. 

The second she saw your reaction to her previous question, Alexia’s soft smile turned to a cold glare, “Hermana, what are you hiding from me?” 

“Nothing, Ale, it’s no big deal, I just-” 

“Don’t lie to me! You know I don’t like when you lie and you’re still talking weird. Open your mouth.” Her voice was cold in a way that shook you to your bones. She was oddly calm, as if she could explode any second, and somehow that scared you more than any yelling match you had with her. It pissed you off that she’d do this with your teammates around but it still made you shrink just as much as it did when you were little kids. 

Your sister took your silence as disobedience and shrunk in closer to you, “Open. Your. Mouth.” 

Out of the corner of your eye you could see your teammates all frozen around you, watching closely to figure out what was happening between you. Mapi was worried, knowing exactly what you were keeping from her and also knowing that she was partially responsible for it. Claudia was worried in a different way. She was confused as to what it was you were keeping from your sister besides your relationship and knew how much this interaction would hurt your feelings. 

You continued to shrink under Alexia’s gaze, finally submitting to her and opening your mouth, gently sticking out your tongue to show her your new addition. You watched her eyes go wide. Her mouth opened and shut a few times in an attempt to figure out what to say but still came up short. You wanted nothing more than to disappear at that moment. 

“Ale-”

“Why would you do that?” she cut you off, her voice a harsh whisper, still scarily calm. 

“I-”

“Why?! Why would you do that, (y/n)?!” 

This was the moment she snapped. 

Your sister was immediately standing over you, voice raised like you expected it to be from the beginning of the conversation. You sighed in annoyance, trying your absolute hardest not to roll your eyes at her reaction. Why couldn’t she just let you live your life? Instead she had to be yelling at you in front of all your teammates over a simple piercing. 

When you glanced around the room, you saw Claudia staring at you with eyes as wide as saucers. You didn’t know it but your girlfriend was torn on how to feel right now. The second she saw your tongue piercing, she could hardly hold back a smile. Her mind instantly went to how good it looked and started wandering to some of the other benefits she could see coming from that piercing. But her excitement and attraction to you was quickly overshadowed by protectiveness for you. She knew she couldn’t step in- the last thing you needed was for Alexia to learn about your relationship and she knew you could handle yourself. But gosh it was hard to just sit and watch you shrink under your sister. 

Mapi was chewing on her bottom lip nervously. She was the one person who could sometimes step in and diffuse your arguments but she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not, especially with her involvement in the situation.

Seeing your teammates' reactions gave you some level of courage, lighting a spark in you to stand up for yourself. “Alexia! Why can’t you understand that I’m an adult and can make my own decisions?” 

“Because your decisions are stupid! What if it gets ripped out during a match, huh? Then what? Or when you break your teeth on it? Just so you can feel cool or something? Is that it?” 

“It’s not your decision! It shouldn’t matter what I do! It doesn’t matter to you when I do anything else and now when you don’t like it suddenly you have a problem?! You don’t get to do that, it’s not fair to me!” 

“Don’t pretend I don’t care about you! Do you realize how much I do for you?” 

That really set you off. You were always telling her how grateful you were for everything she did for you throughout your life and it wasn’t fair for her to hold that over your head. 

You raised your voice even further, basically screaming at your sister in the middle of the locker room, “This isn’t about you for once Alexia! I made this choice for myself! It has nothing to do with you and I don’t need your opinion on it. It’s ridiculous that you’re so upset over something this small. I have nothing left to say to you, if you don’t get it by this point, that’s your fault, not mine.” At this, you stormed out of the locker room, overflowing with anger towards your sister but also embarrassed that your whole team had just watched that argument. 

You didn’t have a plan as to where you were going after leaving the locker room, you just needed space from your sister. The two of you were both stubborn and it wasn’t unusual for it to bubble up like this, you just needed space. As soon as you had walked out, Mapi started tearing into the captain, trying to get her to understand where you were coming from. 

While the older women yelled at each other, Claudia half-heartedly continued getting ready for training. She was trying to figure out how to react or if you’d even want her to follow you. She wanted to, for sure. She wanted nothing more than to wrap you in her arms and make sure you were okay. But she wasn’t sure you’d want to risk your secret getting out, especially when Alexia was already mad at you. 

The brunette gave it a few minutes, feeling like it was an acceptable amount of time for her to leave the room without it being obvious she was following you. She wandered the hallways some, not expecting to stumble into you sitting on the floor, tucked away next to some random vending machines, virtually out of sight from people walking the main corridor. 

“Do you want love right now or do you want some space?” Claudia squatted down next to you for a moment in an attempt to give you some room in case you didn’t want to see her. Normally she’d want nothing more than to engulf you in a hug but with the secret of your relationship looming and you still being in a public place, she didn’t want to overstep. She was also more hesitant knowing that arguments with your sister were sometimes a touchy subject. 

You raised your head to look at her from where it was resting against your knees when you heard the familiar voice. “I don’t know. I’m fine,” you shrugged, “I just needed to get away from her for a minute.” 

Claudia responded with a nod and sat down next to you, close enough you could lean into her if you wanted but not too close that it’d be suspicious if anyone walked by. “I get it. I can always just listen if you want to rant about it or anything.” 

It was killing her not to ask about your piercing. She wanted almost nothing more than to get a good look at the piece of metal in your mouth, but she knew it wasn’t the time to ask.

“Thank you, Clau.” You leaned your head on her shoulder, just grateful for her calming presence next to you, especially as she rested her hand on top of yours. “It’s just frustrating, but I know she means well.” 

Your girlfriend gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, “she does, but it still doesn’t make it any less frustrating.” 

Alexia’s reaction to your piercing was exactly the reason you hadn’t told her about your relationship. Everyone knew she just wanted to protect you but she seemed to forget you were your own person with your own life. The captain had a hard time loosening her reins on you and that was exactly what caused you to push against her at times. 

When she felt like she’d given you an appropriate amount of time to calm down, Claudia finally spoke up, deciding she couldn’t hold it in any longer. The brunette’s voice was tentative, much more than it ever was, still not sure if she should bring it up yet. “So do I get to see what made her freak out so bad?” It was clear she was trying to hide her excitement and suppress a smirk that continued to grow. 

You gave her a light chuckle at how quickly she could pull you from your annoyance and bring you back to the excitement you’d had earlier. “Clau, you can’t do anything crazy when I show you, we're still in public remember?” 

You laughed at the way she nodded quickly, eager like a little kid awaiting a treat. When you stuck out your tongue to show her the new addition, Claudia’s jaw just about hit the floor. She had seen a glimpse of it when you showed your sister but now that she could really see it up close, she was blown away. 

“Ay dios mio, you’re so fucking hot, babe,” she groaned as she leaned into you, looking for any sort of physical contact, but you didn’t give her much, still just keeping a hold of her hand as you giggled at her reaction. 

“Clau, we can’t do this, you know that. Someone might see us.” You could both tell your words were tentative, not quite fully convinced yourself as you both leaned into each other further. 

“Mmmm I know but look at you. How is my girlfriend more badass than me?” She pressed some light kisses to the side of your neck, doing her best to be careful but ultimately failing. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to go the rest of the day without kissing you, knowing that’s in your mouth.” She mumbled into your shoulder, sure to keep her voice down in case anyone came looking for the two of you. 

“Well I have even worse news then,” this was the part you were a lot less excited about. “I’m not supposed to be doing any kissing for a few weeks while it heals.” 

“NOooo!” Her whining was much louder than she had been just moments before, throwing her head back dramatically. 

You gave her shoulder a light smack but still just smiled at her reaction, “Claudia, be quiet someone could hear you, you have to calm down.”

“Calm? You want me to be calm right now? How am I supposed to go that long without kisses?” she stuck out her bottom lip to pout at you, something she did all the time. 

“You can still kiss me though, just not on the lips! And I think we can both agree that it’ll be worth it in the end, yes?” 

Your girlfriend’s pout had been replaced with a smirk as she just hummed in response and buried her face in your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses anywhere she could reach. You both knew you shouldn’t let her continue but didn’t have the willpower to stop. At some point during her kisses, she had turned to face you better, reaching one hand to land on your waist and pull you closer, the other grabbing at your thigh. 

“Clau, we can’t- we can’t do this.” you struggled to get your words out, suddenly caught up in her actions. 

“Hmmm, are you gonna stop me though?” you felt her fingernails dig into your thigh as her hand ran dangerously higher. 

“No,” you whispered breathlessly as her hand continued to move up, “But if we get caught I’m blaming you.”

And as if on cue, you were suddenly being yelled at. “Dios mío, habláis en serio?!” The two of you immediately pushed away from each other, scattering as far away as you could when you heard the voice. 

When you looked up, you were relieved to see that it was only Mapi and let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, flinching as she started to scold you. 

“What is wrong with you? You’re at training! You’re just lucky it’s me who found you and not your sister! I can’t even imagine what she would have done. If you’re gonna pull shit like this, you need to tell her about you two, cause she can’t accidentally stumble into whatever that was.” She grabbed you by the arm to pull you up from the ground, both you and Claudia looking down sheepishly. 

The older woman held you in front of her, pressing a finger into your chest, “you are going to go back to that locker room and we are going to tell everyone I found you calming down after your argument with Alexia and we just happened to run into Pina in the hallway. And you both,” now she pulled your girlfriend up next to you, “are going to hope to God that you didn’t leave any marks on her neck, because I can only defend you so much. Understand?” 

Neither of you could make eye contact yet, still scared of how serious Mapi had become, nodding your heads rapidly at her statement. “And Pina, you keep your hands to yourself.” 

“Si, si, I will, I promise.” 

“Good,” she appeared to be satisfied by your answers and started pushing you both back towards the locker room. “Now I’m gonna try to erase that image from my mind so I don’t throw up.” 

You did your best to suppress a smirk at Mapi’s reaction and tried to sneak a look at your girlfriend who was walking along next to you. The two of you locked eyes for a brief moment but looked away quickly to make sure you wouldn’t giggle at you both having the same thought. 

“Hey! I saw that look! Keep walking!” This time you could barely keep it together at Mapi’s feigned seriousness, while the three of you continued back to the locker room, your secret still safely between the three of you and Vicky, just praying it would stay that way.

Not sure how I feel about this one, let me know! Planned to do more in this universe but now can't quite decide, would love some ideas if you want more of it, I know not everyone loves the Pina ones as much.

Masterlist

#barcelona femeni #barca femeni #fcb femeni imagine #Claudia Pina #claudia pina imagine #claudia pina x reader #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas #woso #woso imagines #woso one shot #woso x reader #woso imagine #espwnt #espwnt x reader #wosoreading24/7 #wosoreadingclaudia

[enwoso]

Hi, I love your writing! I was wondering if you could write a fic where Rooney and Russo are recording there new podcast and they mention a funny story to do with you. With Alessia x reader pairing. You can make the story up but I thought it would be funny

THIRD WHEEL — alessia russo

sorry to whoever requested this as it’s took me so long to actually finish it, but it’s finally here!

navigation

"hello! and welcome back to the tooney and russo show with me y/n l/n, and before you all ask don't worry i'm not stealing vic's job she's just poorly" you said down the microphone, getting yourself comfy in the big chair opposite the couch that alessia and ella were sat on.

"thank god we only have to put up with you for one episode!" ella says rolling her eyes playfully as you gasp, the two bursting into laughter.

"hey!"

"anyways i'm here with two of football most famous friends, alessia russo and ella toone!" you cheered as the two opposite you clapped as well as the people behind the cameras.

"are we the most famous friends?" ella turns asking alessia who shrugs, you clearing your throat to get the brunettes attention back.

"they've just written that on the script to boost your ego" you smile quickly before looking back down to the ipad as the ella starts laughing as does less.

“i’m not lying it’s on here!” you hold the ipad up in there direction showing them, “you really know how to make someone feel good about themselves don’t you, y/n!” ella jokes as you nod you head.

“it’s my speciality — ask lessi i do it on the daily for her!” you say winking jokingly towards less who shakes her head at your silliness.

“whatever helps you sleep at night love” alessia sighs, not wanting to disagree with you knowing the ramble you would go into.

"anyways before we get sidetracked anymore, the fans want to know a bit more about your routine when playing, asking if you find it hard to sleep before a big game?" you read out the question that was on the ipad in front of you.

"speaking on behalf of all three of us here, but we all sleep like babies!" ella says as you and alessia nod in agreement humming.

"yeah what's the saying, can sleep on a camels back" alessia blurts out making you make a confused face, as you mouthed a what to ella who shook her head also having no idea what the blonde had just said.

"that's not a saying babe, you've just made that up!"

"i have not, search it up!” the blonde defended her self as you still looked at her with a confused face trying to understand what she meant from her try at an inspirational message.

“um yeah moving on.. i sleep good all the time to be fair. but do either of you remember the night before the euro final?” you asked them both, ella nodding while less say shaking her head.

“oh yeah, i remember that night. do you not?” ella agreeing with you as she directed the last part of her sentence the blonde sat next to her, who shook her head while mumbling a no into the mic in front of her.

“so obviously we was staying in this really nice hotel, the tottenham hot spur hotel it was i think, and everyone was asleep and um in the night the automatic blinds kept coming up” ella explained as you nodded along.

“i never even noticed to be honest, but i remember you complaining about it in the morning” alessia pointed over to you.

“yeah and i only noticed them because you’d took all the blankets from me and i’d woke up freezing, and then-“ you began as the blonde across you cut you off with a gasp as her mouth went wide open.

“you say this all the time, but i don’t hog the covers!” the blonde said in a defensive tone, ella watching with a smirk on her face at the bickering between the two of you an occasional giggle coming from her.

“how would you know if you do or don’t? your asleep less?” ella commented as you hummed your eyes going wide, “exactly!”

“and then the stupid blinds kept me awake and then less had her alarm set for dead early and she didn’t even wake up — honestly worst night sleep i’ve ever had.” you grumbled carrying on with your small story as alessia mumbled into her mic about you being overly dramatic.

“oh i hate alarms me, i’m the type who had to wake straight up as soon as it goes off” ella says as you hum, “cause once you start snoozing, it’s game over”

“lessi is the worst for snoozing”

the podcast carry’s one as you talk along with the two girls, about random things that start a different conversation until you get up to the fan questions section of the pod.

“so we are up to when you guys at home get to know ella and lessi more off the pitch as they answer your questions where nothing is off limits, i’m excited for this bit” you smile down the camera before smirking to the two girls as they look at each other scared. you continuing to scroll through the ipad.

“first one is weirdest thing your both scared of?” you say giggling to yourself knowing what both of their answers are going to be.

“probably bananas” ella says pulling a face of disgust as you ask why. “i dunno, i just really don’t like them.

“um turkeys or just birds in general” alessia shrugs as your mind takes you back to the world cup of when there was loads of them there.

“there definitely both weird, the next one is directly for you lessi — this fan has said: alessia your half italian but can you actually speak it” you say reading the comment word for word off the ipad, looking up to see the blondes blank face as you begin to laugh along with ella.

“well i can understand it, i tried to learn how to speak it and i can speak a few words..” less trails off her words getting quieter and quieter with each one she spoke.

you raised your eyebrows humming in amusement, “yep and by tried you mean one duolingo lesson?”

“pretty hard to try and learn it when you have someone distracting you every five seconds wanting attention!” alessia argued, taking a sip of her water which was next to her.

“sorry for showing and giving my girlfriend some love?” you scoffed jokingly as you placed your hands in the air in defence. “next time i won’t bother” you added sassily.

the blonde pouting, mumbling along the lines of that you know that she loves giving you her attention you humming at her response, the blonde holding her hands up in an attempt at a heart with her fingers getting a small smile from you.

as ella dry retched down the mic, “do you have to do the lovey dovey stuff every where we go!”

“okay this is a good one, who’s the better driver” you ask, putting the ipad to the other side.

“well i think we can both agree who it’s not-“ alessia smirked pointed between her and ella who nodded in agreement knowing what the blonde was going to say.

“who?”

“you- do you not…” alessia began before you cut her off, “hang on the question wasn’t to include me, and i know the story your gonna tell and it’s gonna be completely wrong but carry on” you sulked, sinking further in the chair you were sat in opposite the two best friends.

“no so you were in a really tight parking spot, which can i add i told you not to park in-“ alessia began to tell the story in between laughs as tooney listened intently, you sat across from them with a frown on your face.

“—and there was this bollard to the right of the car and i told you that you were gonna hit it if you carried on but you were adamant you weren’t gonna hit it. and of course who was right cause then the back of your car ended up with a massive dent in the back along with scratches along the side”

“yeah but in my defense right, since i did move slightly the way you told me to and if i hadn’t i definitely would have missed it” you defended yourself as alessia rose her eyebrows not totally convinced.

“is this the day you came to england camp sulking?” ella asked as alessia nodded her head slowly in response for you, you not wanting to admit it.

“and now i’m banned from driving lessi’s car-“ your frown deepened.

“i mean i’m not surprised!”

“and that’s all we have time for today, before i get outed anymore!” you perked up once again, the two girls straightening themselves up as you looked down the central camera.

“like you haven’t been outing us for the whole ep love” alessia commented as you waved your hand at what she said.

“thanks for joining me, less and tooney as i third wheeled-“ you began again but got cut off by ella. “no i was, as always!”

“bye!”

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo x y/n #woso community #woso #woso blurbs #woso imagine #woso x reader #arsenal women #awfc #arsenal wfc #awfc imagine #awfc x reader #lionesses #ella toone #england wnt #england women #enwoso

[teaboot]

Hi

I have a question for u

It is maybe a very cliché question but I am sincerely looking for the answer because it feels like most other people know it and just I don’t understand

So here we go: what differentiates love from friendship?

I can recognize friendship. All explanations given to me what others told me makes the distinction to loving someone (romantically?) didn’t make sense to me mostly because it always included some people that fall into the definition of friends

So yeah.. I’m having difficulty with relationships (apparently)

Thank u for ur thought! Ur blog always brings me happiness!

I hope u have a wonderful day with some quiet time to watch the fluffy creature

-🥬

Personal opinion?

Friendship is love. Love is friendship. Kissing is friendship and holding hands is love. Sex is friendship and washing laundry is love.

I've had crushes on people I'd never want to date. I have friends I'd be comfortable kissing. I don't think I've ever been attracted to sexually, but there are people I think are beautiful who make my heart race. I don't know if I've ever felt romantic attraction, but there are people I want to spend my life with, and others I'd rather admire from a distance, and others I want nothing to do with.

I think that honestly, really, words like "Husband", "Wife", "Partner", "Friend", "Queerplatonic", "Soulmates", "Life Partner"... I think they're useful tools to describe specific experiences, more than they are rigid boxes to sort and divide our experiences into.

I'm not sure if I understand tge difference between platonic affection, aesthetic attraction, romance, and friendship, but I find my best relationships so far have been, "We like being around each other, and we work together to find what kind of intimacy we want from each other".

Sometimes that intimacy is physical, like kissing or sparring. Sometimes it's emotional, like sharing feelings. Sometimes it's just good, quiet company, or doing things together.

I can't speak for your own experiences, but in mine, idk. Just kinda letting things happen.

(It is hard when you feel lonely, though, and don't know how to describe to most of the world what it is you want.)

Long post, but uh. Same boat, I suppose?

afraid I don't have a better answer right now, but if anyone else figures it out, I'd love to know.

Thanks for the ask, and I hope you're having a great day too!! ♡

[punkpandapatrixk]

🧜🏻‍♀️What’s Your Signature Style? ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

I promise you that you can be “THE” SLAYEST when you rock a style that is your own. A style—or styles—that is your own is one that reflects outwardly the core essence of your Soul Expression.

If you know yourself, and acknowledge your unique Light, there is not a trend or fad in this mortal realm that could ever shake your confidence in what you’re already doing!

Remember, trend-makers are never individuals known to follow trends to begin with! Are you a satisfied with yourself for being a trend-follower? Gosh, that's such loser NPC behaviour. I know you're so much more than that, you su-su-su-Superbeing❣️❣️

SONG: Supernova by aespa

MOVIE: 千年女優; Sennen Joyuu (Millennium Actress) (2001)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Bitch Barbie

VIBE: Jackie (2016)

core spiritual essence – Knight of Wands Rx

YOLO, Spiritual Gangsta! You’re a badass bitch who’s actually a lot nastier and vainer than outer appearances may give LMAO You’re such a drama queen, too. You wake up in the morning and ready to stir up some shit. You’re naughty. You’re playful. You’re creative and a bit of a prankster to the detriment of some of your closest friends. And if you have an enemy, you’re the type that’d pour gasoline on their motorbike and let them catch fire on their own!

You really like colourful stuff. Since you were a kid, you’ve always been interested in cute or weird shapes and bling knickknacks. Colours and shapes are integral to your fashion expression as a means to let your passion through. From another angle, this is also how you show people not to take you lightly. You’re attracted to weird or bold shapes and vibrant colours because they also send word to the outer world that you’re not one to mess with.

You LOVE being seen as a weirdo. It benefits you to be seen as a BITCH, too. This is a form of self-preservation AND protection. You want to weed off boring people who are only there to feed off your precious spiritual creative aenergy! You’re the school’s boss bitch who says, ‘You can’t sit with us,’ to practically everybody because you value only strong and weird, high-quality bitches who are just like you. Deep at your core, you keep to your tribe and will protect them with your Life <3

people’s first impression – XIV Temperance

You’re an enigmatic character who’s admired and feared at the same time. Because you have such a strong presence, unbeatable charisma, people can’t help but be attracted to your aenergy. And for the most part, you’re really somebody who has a pleasant smile and good manners. People’s first projection of you might be along the lines of being a good gal LMAO You seem at first glace a temperate person who adheres to social protocols. I mean, that’s only because you’re chill~

But try and get on your bad side? The psychopath takes over. You’re very serious when working towards your goals and you don’t like it when people bother you with unwarranted criticisms or unsolicited advice. You like figuring things out yourself unless you ask for other people’s opinions. When people see this side of you, then they understand you’re not all that friendly or welcoming and that they’ve been blinded by their own expectations.

From afar, people can tell you’re meant for great things in this Life. Since you’re quite unapproachable to many, they may never say this to you but they gossip amongst themselves and speculate about what such a unique person like you could achieve in this world. They shudder when thinking about all your potentials! How can such a smart badass even be real?? It feels so unfair…

fatal attraction! – Ace of Pentacles

You’re the type that should never buy fake designer items. Buying cheap-ass things that are your style is one thing, but buying fake luxury items? NAH, NO. Your Venus will cry. Check out what your Venus sign says about your values as a person and try to match your fashion style with that. For the majority of you tuning into this Pile, being bold in all the ways that suit you is the way to go. Price is not necessarily key here, it’s boldness that plays into your self-expression.

You’re the kind of person who can wear colours and accessories that usually will make other people look like clowns XD People wonder what enables you to pull off those strange colours, shapes or combinations, not knowing it’s your CONFIDENCE in yourself being able to pull them off that makes them work. It’s the RIZZ, baby~ No matter what you look like, no matter your size and skin colour, you have the power to make WHATEVER you wear on you look like something they show on the runway.

I betcha you get a lot of requests to model for your photographer friends? XD Some of you reading this have even modelled casually before. And some of you are meant to be scouted into the modelling or fashion industry in general! If not to that degree, you’re still the kind of person who could make occasional appearances on fashion magz or insta or have your face be a poster for something quite creative. You should charge good prices for your contribution to people being able to sell their shit! v$o$v

A MILLION DOLLAR STYLE~🔻💙

vanity – Silver Geographer (Francis Drake)

sassy – Priestess of Integrity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Brooding Maniac

VIBE: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

core spiritual essence – 4 of Cups

You one spooky bitch XD But truly, your Soul is full of colours if only people could see it! It’s just that these are colours most people won’t understand or even approve of. You possess the ability to feel and process immensely complex emotions as well as thoughts. It’s more like you think in feelings even if you identify as someone very logical. Your emotions often get heavy if you don’t learn to control them. And…you’ve really taken it to quite an extreme how well you can control or suppress your emotions now.

Some of you reading this probably have strong Earth placements, especially Capricorn, but could also have some Scorpio and Aquarius influences. The way you feel your emotions is quiet and almost…jaded. I think your Soul gets easily tired by Humans for their lack of intelligence but also for their lack of appreciation for different varieties of Beauty. You think most people are narrow-minded; just thinking about it is super exhausting.

That’s why you don’t easily show your colours to everybody. People’s disapproval of the depths of your emotions could kill your spirit on a daily basis. You’d rather not deal with that, so then you chose to sport a lot of black in your outer appearance. You could also be the type that chooses solid or ‘dull’ colours like grey or white, essentially to just…not tell people anything. The only other way you actually show your emotions, in a subtle way, is through some colours that could be found in your accessories and…HAIR <3

At least some of you dream of having colourful hair if only your society or workplace would allow that XD

people’s first impression – 8 of Cups

Instantaneously, people get this impression that you’re elusive as fuck. Like, you’re not exactly unapproachable—no, no—it’s more like, even if people try to talk to you, they already think you’re the type that won’t respond too well. You seem like you don’t talk much if at all, and people get this feeling that you’re uncomfortable with being talked to. Kinda feels like, you’re ready to flee the scene the moment someone comes up to talk to you BUHAHAH Most likely because you give off this nervous/awkward energy in social situations XD

As for your fashion, you dress so uniquely, out-there-ly, alien-ly, and people simply can’t catch up. They know they won’t be able to copy you, at least not properly. You possess a strong and unique aura that shines through your fashion sensibility and you don’t even try that hard if you’re being honest. And yet, anybody who tries to emulate or copy you will 100% look like a cheap knock-off of whatever style you’re rocking.

There is something about you that screams ORIGINAL. And yet, this is mostly caused by your lack of interest in other people’s business. You have this cold, detached aura that makes you stand out in a crowd exactly because you don’t give a fuck. At first glance, people think it’s your fashion—your clothes and accessories, your hair or nails that make you look ORIGINAL. Maybe even you think that. But no, it’s your brooding AURA that says so. You’re a maniac who ain’t interested in mingling, that’s why~

fatal attraction! – Queen of Wands

You’re a divisive character who’s either despised or admired, to an extreme. There’s no in between. Seems, indeed, like some Scorpio/8th House aenergy or some harsh Plutonian aspects XD To varying extents, and depending on your mood on a given day, people’s extreme reception of you could be mentally draining. The way I see it, you yourself don’t even understand why people are damn drawn to you. You kinda wish people would leave you alone. At least the ones you don’t care about.

But…you definitely are incredibly pretty. You have a very attractive face, you know that? And then there’s your fashion sense that tells the right kind of people that you truly are a creative/artistic person who has many stories to tell because you feel very deeply. And yet, you don’t talk to people at all and that’s mystifying. Meanwhile, the haters are also attracted to your aenergy because something about your originality is a direct insult to their lack of AUTHENTICITY ho ho ho~

You give people a reason to connect and unite in their petty hatred and that’s very refreshing for those types of people to talk about LMAO Ain’t you a hero, my dear? Anyway, this may sound so random but I’m getting that you might wanna hang out at some art gallery or library? You could meet someone or see an ad/announcement for an event that could change your Life for the better! Your brooding style could get you some unique opportunities that could potentially make you very happy <3

A MILLION DOLLAR STYLE~🔻🧡

vanity – Silver Alchemist (Ramon Llull)

sassy – Priestess of Inspiration

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Plutonian Siren

VIBE: Flesh and the Devil (1926)

core spiritual essence – 8 of Pentacles

Daym, you’re a total hustler babe, aren’t ya? For one, at the core of your being you know that you were born into this world with a strong purpose. When you were a kid, you probably didn’t have the words to describe this knowing but it was clear to you that you weren’t supposed to fit in or be ‘normal’, whatever ‘normal’ meant within your norm XD You’ve always been the kinda person who deviated from your mainstream society. You couldn’t help it; you just had to be an anomaly.

Truth be told, you’ve a strong Sirenian spirit (if that’s even a word). You’re like a combination of a bitch barbie and a brooding maniac. You’ve a strong dark Plutonian and chaotic Neptunian aenergy about you and this is SCARY to a lot of people. If you grew up in a toxic household, I betcha an adult in your ‘family’ despised you for just being you. Could be a mean uncle or auntie as well if you had a good relationship with your own parents ;P

Did you know that in some literature Sirens were actually not mermaids? They’re more akin to evil harpies? XXD You’re an evil harpy at your worst and a singing mermaid at your best. I tell you people shouldn’t mess witcha. The karma will be heavy on them because you essentially come from a strong lineage of powerful witches! <3

people’s first impression – 9 of Cups

Wherever you are in the world, when you walk, you’re like a dream come true. You possess a natural charm that transcends race, culture, localised standards or whatever. In every situation and all nations you are beautiful, magnetising and charming. Your sheer existence makes people daydream. I’m sure you’ve heard this a lot, ‘You smell really nice.’ ‘Y/N always smells nice.’ ‘When you’re around it always smells nice.’

You’re so fucking unreal for this mortal world. Due to your Neptunian aenergy—could also be strong/significant 12th House placements—people project on you without a care for your feelings. Or should we say, they project on you without a care for their own safety? When somebody crosses the line, you snap like a sea dragon and they’re done, forever LMAO

As much as people are intrigued by you they are afraid of you. There is this depth to you that makes people suspect that once they’re in they’re never gonna be able to crawl out of your aenergy field. You’re kinda like Tomie now that I think about it. So the ones who are able to sense this swirling darkness in you will try to steer away from your charm~ Good for them because most of the time, you don’t even like it when people are up in your ass non-stop XD

fatal attraction! – 5 of Pentacles Rx

Of all the Piles, your natural charm is definitely chaotic. It’s almost demonic! Yours is a fatal attraction for sure because you will cause insanity in the minds of whoever tries to get a taste of your aenergy. And you’re out here chillin’, completely clueless as to what’s going on with the idiots around you. Why’s everybody simping? I ain’t even do nothing.

For whatever personal reasons, most people have this fantasy about you saving them from whatever boring Life they’re living. Some really sick minds could expect—even demand—you to be their stupid little Pixie Dream Girl when in reality you’re the FURTHEST thing from that. People could get SO dangerously unreasonable when it comes to desiring you.

I’ve got to say that you’d better protect yourself good, girl. Do everything in your power to steer away from bitter and jealous aenergy, because the people under your involuntary spell might indeed endeavour to cause you harm. Beware of men who could assault you and women who would trick and tarnish your reputation. I’m reminded of this quote by Claude Debussy:

‘People don’t very much like things that are beautiful… they are so far from their nasty little minds.’

For being such an unrealistically beautiful creature with an aura of mysticism, lots of people are attracted to your magnificence because they want to make it their own or destroy it, not because they appreciate your existence. Be selective with who you allow to get to know you~ <3

A MILLION DOLLAR STYLE~🔻💚

vanity – Green Astrologer (Robert Fludd)

sassy – Priestess of Love

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

#Punk Panda Pick A Pic #pick a card #pick a card reading #tarot pick a card #pac #pac reading #tarot pac #astroblr #tarotblr #witchblr #witchythings #girl things #girlblogger #girlblogging #style #make up #fashion #glow up #that girl #it girl #pinterest girl #dream girl

[sabertoothwalrus]

OK PREFACING WITH IM SORRY IF I ALREADY SENT THIS EXACT ASK BUT MY WIFI KILLED ITSSLF AS I SENT IT SO IDK IF IT ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH. but in case it didn’t . i know youve gotten this countless times in the past because i blog stalked just in case youve mentioned something similar before but i need to know if you have any specific inspirations when you draw exaggerated expressions specifically like these two images of marcille. ive actually cried laughing over this comic and being able to communicate this type of visceral emotion is such an insane skill and ive followed your art for probably close to a decade through various fandoms so watching you develop this style has been fucking awesome and epic. like i cannot articulate how funny these are to me i just need you to understand i look at this comic to inspire me to draw now. the closest comparison i can draw to the feelings they evoke are like those mspaint reaction images and also mspaint tails i included for reference even though you probably know exactly what im talking about anyways but its actually so much harder to do that intentionally when you study art. also i lied you literally don’t even need to answer this i just had to let you know how obsessed i am over your silly comics and now ive written out a whole ass discussion post about it. im sorry if this is weird at all i think my daily prescribed amphetamines r wearing off and i know this is such a dumb specific thing to fixate on and im so sorry if its not something you want to hear about your art. ive just always seen that as an artist this type of expressive stupid silly style is something that comes after a significant amount of time and practice and study and style development despite being “simple” in theory. its just so cool to have worked with your own style so much that youre able to go “off model” from it and still maintain consistency with the rest of the piece. i said it already and im sorry this is actually rendundant now but the ability to communicate such raw emotion somehow decreases from at its height when someone is a beginner artist learning how to proportion and keep a steady line and what looks “normal” but somehow it all comes full circle because taking all that experience and using it to almost return to where you started but in a fully informed and intentional way so you can make choices to draw characters like this when the situation calls for it is just dhcidogakgoshfhw. i think i need to cut myself off or im going to talk in circles im sorry tumblr user sabertoothwalrus i just am fascinated by your style and progress and the years you’ve dedicated to art can be seen in so many places but this is just one that stands out to me specifically.

MMMMM what a fun question!!!

I'm not gonna lie, I think it's just Letting A Drawing Be Bad. I definitely think the people that struggle with this the most are people who have genuinely very pretty art styles, to the point of being kind of perfectionist about it. and to Draw Funny often means Drawing Fast and Weird. Pretty is kind of the antithesis of funny (unless being pretty is the punchline). do drawings that make yourself laugh. tracing/lining funny sketches almost always makes them less funny.

one of my favorite types of humor is when it skews more deadpan, actually. This is one of the reasons I love Adventure Time. minimal expressions and flat line delivery + absurd context is a really good combo. the key to comedy has more to do with contrast! if your drawings are allllll crazy ren & stimpy all the time, they're not funny anymore cause it's just "normal". if it's all subdued UNTIL it's extreme, and vice versa, then it's funny. The reason this comic is so funny is because of the complete lack of any expression. I feel like the one you sent of Marcille shouting "WHAT" is funnier when you know how much she tries to be dainty and feminine and delicate, how much she values her appearance, and how averse she is to "gross" or "weird" things.

something I find really annoying (and this is with comics/animation in general, not the expressions themselves) is when the joke goes on for too long. Like you'll have the joke, then the punchline, and THEN the characters reacting to the punchline??? Like the author didn't trust that their audience would find the joke funny, so they basically drew in a laugh track. But, this is distinct from a character's reaction being the punchline (like how the examples you gave from my Marcille comic are). MY POINT IS sometimes expressions aren't as funny on their own as you think, and context can affect how you feel about it!

as far as inspirations go!

my own face! even if I don't have a mirror, I like making the expressions myself so I can "feel" where the points of tension on my face are, and it gives me a sense of what to exaggerate.

my brother's art, believe it or not! we've been trying to make each other laugh with our drawings since we were kids, and he's really good at it.

ATLA has some great expressions

OK KO has been a reallyyyy good source for me lately. That show is so tailored to my sense of humor and the expressions and line deliveries feel exactly like the kinds of things I'd come up with. The tone, timing, and art style are all really close to the tv show pitch I'm working on, so when I feel like I've "strayed" too much from it (like after drawing a bunch of dungeon meshi, and my art feels tighter and... idk "manga-ier"?) I like to go and watch a couple episodes of OK KO to loosen back up

A lot of things like OG Spongebob, Calvin & Hobbes, the Simpsons, Chowder, etc etc

memes in general. if it makes you laugh, keep it in mind

and lastly, I wouldn't say I ever try to mimic funny expressions I see. Like if I watch a show for inspo, I'm not pausing it to copy specific drawings, I'm just trying to notice patterns and pay attention to what about it I find funny.

talking about being funny is really bizarre and I dunno if it makes it lose some of the magic. Ultimately it's something you can't think about too much, and just gotta go with your gut.

[estrellogy]

Astro Notes Pt. 4

Thank you to everyone who participated in the poll!

- Both water and air signs, especially risings here, are good at mirroring others. But they often evoke different responses. Water signs are often projected on because like water, they reflect directly what energy others are giving out. Water deals more with subconscious emotions and energies that others may not even be aware of themselves. Air signs, on the other hand, mimic and adapt. They are social chameleons who know what’s expected from them. That’s why they are often well-liked.

- Scorpio placements, especially sun and rising, if underdeveloped, can pride themselves on their manipulation skills and how good they are at lying. They are extremely emotionally intelligent, observant, and aware of their environment. These are the keys to be a good manipulator. However, when they mature, they’ll use these natural abilities in much more productive ways. They grow to value truth and integrity above all else because they’ve experienced the other side of it.

- Personal experience: I have Moon in 9th house and traveling is so intertwined with my life. Two out of three siblings on my dad’s side (my dad and his sister) work in the airline industry, so they travel all the time as part of their jobs. My mom is a Sagittarius moon and she loves traveling. She would let me skip school sometimes to travel. It’s so interesting to see how astrology is not only reflected in an individual’s chart but is connected through generations.

- Speaking of 9th house. I have a theory that if you want to improve your social skills and charisma, work with your 9th house energy. People usually focus on their 1st, 7th, and 10th house because they are social/relationship houses. Maybe 3rd house since it focuses directly on communication. But 9th house is the house of higher learning, philosophy, and hope. I think we often connect best with others when we discuss about our own life philosophies, our live experiences and lessons, and our hopes and dreams. 9th house represents such an interesting and expansive part of us that’s often overlooked. I think 9th house is where our human spirit is stored.

When you’re deeply connected to this well of positivity, wouldn’t you naturally become charismatic and interesting and fun? That’s why Sagittarius is such a charming sign. Even though it’s not ruled by the beautiful Venus or glamorous Neptune, it radiates light. Work with your 9th house to unlock your own charm. It is that which attracts people.

- Sun sextile Pluto women have a very subtle way of getting people to do what they want. They don’t try to dominate or force, but they play into their natural strengths. For example, if they notice that people respond well whenever they come across as innocent/childlike, they’ll play more into it. They don’t alter their authentic self but more like, they add spice to it. Sun trine Pluto does this more naturally, sometimes without even realizing. But sextile is much more intentional.

They’re usually quite playful and flirty individuals. They gain power without people noticing. Sometimes, they even give up a little bit of power, become intentionally vulnerable, while gaining the upper hand without the other person knowing. They truly understand power = influence, not control. Fascinating people to observe.

- Taurus will take their time. That’s why they’re master seducers. They don’t make their suitors wait simply to play games. They are genuinely picky and know their worth. Like any earth sign, they know the value of time, especially theirs. So they would rather wait to see if the other person is worth it than jump blindly into it and have their time wasted. It also helps that they are so sensual and tempting, which comes from being deeply connected to their physical senses and body. They radiate feminine power. Venus in 2nd house also applies.

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology #pick a card #Scorpio sun #scorpio rising #Taurus #venus in 2nd house #9th house #moon in 9th house #cancer #pisces #libra #Gemini #Aquarius #air signs #sun sextile pluto

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

I love all your fake texts! And I had a thought that I think only you can do justice

I keep seeing the you call them by their name texts and the boys are always like but you never call me by name it's always babe, baby, ect.. but how would the boys react if the response was like I called you by your name last night when we were fucking or you didn't have a problem work your name when I was moaning it last night..

Anyway I'll stop rambling now.. do with this what you will 🩶🩶

calling them by their name

an: idk if this is any good, but here you go. i hope it’s okay. the whole time i was writing these, i had that old david allan coe song from the 70s stuck in my head. am i aging myself? i’ll just go.

theres an error on the last screenshot for han but im too lazy to redo it. so.. sorry

masterlist

chan

minho

changbin

hyunjin

han

felix

seungmin

jeongin

🚨reminder: this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕

#emmy answers #stray kids #stray kids fake texts #skz fake texts #stray kids smau #skz smau #stray kids smut #bang chan #bang chan x reader #lee know fake texts #bang chan fake texts #lee know stray kids #changbin #changbin fake texts #hyunjin fake texts #hyunjin

[7surugi]

dancing in the moonlight ｜ haitani ran x f!reader

in the summer of 2005, you and ran meet under a shooting star. even now, years down the road, ran still finds himself enchanted by you and everything you are.

[content] sfw, mentions of sex, summer love (i guess), bonten timeline

[word count] 7.1k

[note] happy birthday to my princess, ran haitani (∗˃̶ ᵕ ˂̶∗) ♡ (this took me forever to post because i was too lazy to edit :x)

“You are always up here these days, Mr. Haitani.”

A soft and feminine voice breaks Ran from his daze, he spares the woman a short glance before turning his attention back to the bustling city below, to the blinding billboard screens in his line of vision, and there is only one that has his complete attention. Like it always has, and always will.

He doesn’t know her name, but he does recognise her as one of the new hires from a few months ago, he thinks she may be Takeomi’s new secretary, or assistant, something like that, but he doesn’t care enough to figure it out. He leans against the metal rail, taking out a pack of cigarettes, noticing there is only one left, and lifts the last cigarette to his mouth as he stuffs the empty pack into his slack pockets. He lights it, inhaling, pulling the smoke deep into his lungs. A plane passes by overhead, the scenery around him dims. It’s dark gray and the world fades. Only for a split moment.

Hearing your name leaving her bold red lips catches his attention, he immediately coughs, sputtering out the smoke. “Oh, do you know her? She’s been gaining a lot of popularity lately due to a new movie releasing.”

He clears his throat, his cheeks light pink and the back of his neck heating up in slight embarrassment as he shakes his head. “No. I actually don’t know much about celebrities…”

“Aw, really? Well, you are a busy man, Mr. Haitani, so that’s no surprise, but I do recommend watching her films,” she replies, coyly gazing at him through fluttering lashes.

“Yeah? Is that so…”

“Yeah! Well, she has only been in two small projects before this, and they weren’t really well-known due to the genre but there was a new one that was released a few days ago…” she slowly trails off, her manicured nail slides against the metal rail, a quiet screech, and Ran knows what she is going to ask before the words leave her lips. “Maybe we could, um, go see it together? If you want, of course…”

He chuckles at her simple predictability, her boldness, his eyes rack over her face then down her body, her neatly put together outfit that clings perfectly to her figure, and Ran lowly hums. He doesn’t like red, he’s never been fond of the colour. It’s not the first time he’s been approached by a colleague, and he finds things like this amusing, cute, and tiring. He’s surprised this woman is able to speak to him without being a stuttering mess like most of the people that work for him — for Bonten Inc.

She is quite cute, not his type, more like the type of girl Takeomi is into (he chooses them well, Ran is surprised), but he still sends her his signature smirk before turning his head away. From his peripheral vision, he catches sight of her cheeks reddening more. She is so easy to understand, he almost laughs.

“Maybe,” he lazily replies, a sliver of hope he gives, all well knowing he easily takes it away as he gives it — with the way the girl perks up at his word, smiling happily to herself, it’s almost too cruel of him. He brings his cigarette back to his lips, deeply inhaling the bitter smoke as his eyes lift back to the billboard screen to meet you, faraway, worlds away from him.

—

In the summer of 2005, Ran is eighteen when he and Rindō get into a fight – a serious fight – nothing like their usual bickering and playful banners. It started over nothing, only small talk about the S-62 generation and how Izana will be out soon, by the end of the year if not sooner (he is only allowed out earlier by good behaviour which is highly unlikely).

And then the mention of gangs and expanding their territory, things become more serious and what lit the fire was Ran laughing beneath his breath at Rindō’s suggestion (the idea was not logical and takes too much effort), uttering something about how stupid it was. Rindō is not one to back down from petty remarks – he never has – which often leads to full-blown arguments, or even fights. When Rindō bites back, Ran likes to bite harder and lower, he likes to hit in places where it causes others to be unable to breathe.

It’s a mixed exchange of harsh words, yelling, and shoving. Rindō doesn’t understand him, too exhausted, stressed, and blood boiling, neither of them want to back down. It ends with Ran slamming the door shut, leaving their shared apartment to cool his head. His feet lead him towards the train station, and without much thought, he finds himself sitting on the blue cushion, going to who knows where.

It is barely evening when Ran hops off the train and finds himself all the way in Nikkō. Two hours away from home. He has never set foot in the Tochigi Prefecture before, the air here feels so fresh compared to Tokyo, the backdrop of the tall sacred mountains is something he doesn’t see back at home. It’s surreal, so beautiful. A calm, quiet detour, away from everything and the bright, bustling city he knows.

Ran doesn’t know what he’s doing; he is not too concerned though, mindlessly walking around to take in the view before stopping by a local restaurant. He eats cold soba noodles, flipping open his phone: no new messages or calls. He sighs.

Rindō is still upset with him (to which Ran believes to be unfair because he barely said anything wrong), and it is starting to get late, and he is getting exhausted, his body feels sticky from the humidity, so he decides to stay in Nikkō for one night. While walking around looking for a hotel for the night, he passes by an old inn, a jingle echoes in the night air, a soft scent of floral rushes past him, he inhales, and someone crashes straight into him.

During twilight in the summer of ‘05, the evening sun is fading, vibrant orange seeps into the horizon as a blanket of dark blue and black takes over, a shooting star passes by without him ever noticing, and Ran first meets you.

—

The boy you met last evening — the one you had accidentally bumped into on your way back from your break was on your mind for a while last night (he still is) and you think he might be more attractive than the idols you like. Something like that seemed impossible until now. He said his name is Ran, and you think there couldn’t be a name that suits him more than that.

When your boss, Ms. Sasaki, calls you this morning to ask you to grab lunch for her and bring it to the inn, you immediately agree — wanting to see her (and maybe the boy from last night). You decide on getting her favourite teriyaki tofu, your sandals click loudly against the pavement as you rush over to the inn before the food cools. Ms. Sasaki only eats hot food, even during the hot summers, and you are the same.

Unexpectedly, you run into the boy from yesterday right away, and he thanks you for showing him to the inn, asking if you weren’t working today because he didn’t see you around earlier.

“Oh, yes, I only work here part-time…” Was he looking for you? The idea of a handsome stranger waiting to see you makes your heart flutter, skipping a beat.

“Today is my day off, but I came by to give something to someone… Um, have you eaten yet? I know a good ramen place around here,” you try to casually ask, eyes flickering from him to the floor, heart beating, you suddenly wish you had worn something a lot prettier.

“Mm, sure—” he pauses, looking down at the navy yukata he’s wearing, before saying, “let me just change out of this and then we can go, alright? Gimme a second, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart.

Your cheeks heat up at the unexpected pet name, you softly bite your lip in embarrassment, nodding your head as he leaves. He doesn’t take long to get dressed, he returns in the clothes he had worn last night, a simple pair of black pants and gray sweatshirt, his two-toned hair is once again put into two braids — you assume it is his go-to hairstyle. He looks comfortable and pretty and you try not to stare. You take him through the small city, through the gray streets and passing dull houses, leading him to one of your favourite ramen restaurants.

“So…” you trail off, gazing around the restaurant in hopes that Ran (you learned his surname today on the walk here — Haitani. Ran Haitani. Orchid. Ash valley. You think he suits his name very much) would say something to start a conversation. However, he doesn’t, his eyes lift to meet yours across the wooden table and he sends you a small smirk.

“So?” he questions, not starting a conversation, which you believe to be on purpose from the way his eyes don’t leave your form and how the edges of his mouth are curved into a seemingly polite smile. He is studying you.

You wished he would’ve asked you a question, or said anything first, however you are curious about him, you have a few questions, ones seemingly more important than the other the more you think. You decide on a simple one. “Where are you from?”

“I am from Roppongi.”

“Oh… yes, that makes sense.”

He chuckles at your response. “Indeed, I’m sure it does.”

“Mhm, you have that air to you,” you agree. Your food arrives, you thank the waiter as he places a bowl of miso ramen in front of you, tonkotsu for Ran, and a plate of gyoza in the middle to share. “Why did you decide to come to Nikkō? Is it your first time?”

“I heard it’s beautiful here, it definitely is…” his lavender eyes slowly consume you, and you nervously gulp. “I am just sightseeing.”

You nod at his words, taking a bite from your ramen before the noodles get too soggy, moaning in delight at the rich taste. Nothing beats the ramen here, you think, the chef is one of the best. Ever.

Ran asks you if you would like to show him around Nikkō, you look up at him surprised, ultimately finding yourself agreeing, to which he calls you his little tour guide.

He directs the conversation to you: asking about your interests, how long you’ve been working at the inn, and simple little questions about your life. You do your best to answer them without oversharing.

He jokes saying he hopes he isn’t taking up your free time with having you as his tour guide.

You say you don’t mind and he flashes you a pretty smile that causes unfamiliar blue butterflies to invade your stomach.

You ask how long he will be staying for, he says only for a few days.

—

On his second day here, Ran wakes from his deep slumber to the sound of his phone ringing. Squinting as his eyes adjust to the bright lighting and the small font on the screen. Rindō.

Ran audibly sighs while bringing his phone to his ear. He was enjoying his sleep, he thinks he had a sweet dream, one he hasn’t had in a long time. “What is it, Rindō? It’s too early for this.”

“It’s far past noon and you weren’t home yesterday either. Where are you? You passed out at a hotel? Kakuchō’s or some woman’s place?”

Ran grunts, sitting up as he stretches his body, his brother’s endless questions slowly processing through his brain. “Uh… Nikkō? Yeah, ‘m in Nikkō right now.”

“Nikkō…” Rindō slowly repeats. “You’re in Nikkō right now?”

“Mhm.”

His brother’s heavy sigh is clearly mixed in with the static – poor connection in this area, he assumes – and it’s silent for a few more moments. “So you ran away because we fought. What the hell is wrong with you?” His words aren’t harsh, he says them in disbelief at his actions and Ran shrugs his shoulders as if Rindō is able to see him.

“I’m just taking a breather. Did you not tell me to?”

“I didn’t mean that you should run to the other side of Japan,” Ran scoffs at Rindō’s exaggeration. Nikkō is only two hours away from Roppongi. Little crybaby, he thinks, some things don’t change. “You are so—” Rindō takes another deep breath, “when are you coming back?”

“Why are you asking? Do you miss me or are you ready to apologise to me?”

It goes silent. Ran can hear the sound of the summer birds chirping away.

“No. I don’t care so do whatever you want, Ran. I’m hanging up now.”

“No need to be so mad, chill, I was just asking.” No response. So typical. “Whatever. Bye then,” his voice laced with annoyance, his little brother is too stubborn – a trait Ran assumes he got from him – Rindō doesn’t reply, instantly hanging up. And Ran knows everything is alright again. In a few days, or even hours, everything will go back to how it always is.

Little things like this aren’t enough to even dent their unwavering bond.

(Rindō sends him a picture of him and Shion later that day, in a dim karaoke room full of people he doesn’t recognise in the background — he thinks that may be Kakuchō’s hand in the picture. He’s not even sure how they managed to get that kid to tag along.

Ran replies with a picture of his bare foot, Rindō sends him a series of disgusted emoticons and a middle finger up, to which Ran smiles at the reaction.)

—

“Wow. I feel like I was transported back into the Edo period.”

You smile at his words as he looks around seemingly awestruck — you assume that they don’t have something like this in Roppongi. Nikkō is quite well known for its Edo village, after all. “That’s a good thing to hear, it’s supposed to feel like that.”

“It’s like another world here…” he says.

You softly giggle to yourself, but he catches you hiding your laugh behind your hand and rolls his eyes. “So I can’t be excited and think something is cool without you laughing about it?”

“I just think it’s kinda cute of you…”

“I think you’re pretty cute,” your face flushes at his directness and how casually those words slip from his lips and he smirks at your reaction. “Now you aren’t laughing, hm?”

You huff, rolling your eyes. “Gosh, you are so childish, Ran. I wasn’t saying it to make fun of you, it was a compliment.”

“My words were a compliment too. I mean it, you know.”

You simply hum in response, you don’t take his words to heart. (They have already invaded your beating heart, setting themselves into the little place.)

Ran is dressed up as a samurai, adorn in a deep purple silk hakama, plain sandals, and a katana adorned on his hip (Ran constantly runs his fingers over the halt, unfortunately it is only a prop because he and Rindō are really into this kind of thing), and you, just a regular town girl.

You lead him around to sightsee the village — all of the old little shops, mini games, and food, and everyone greets the two of you in character. He seems to be enjoying himself — especially when his eyes lit up like a child during the ninja show and boat ride which makes you smile happily.

“I see you are quite popular here,” he points out after an old man had greeted you and said your name.

“Well, I do work here part-time.”

“Oh? You work here too? What do you do?”

You nod, saying, “mhm, only during the summertime. I act as a courtesan.”

“To think I have such a beautiful courtesan all to myself today,” he says whimsically, swiftly taking your hand in his, bringing it up to place a kiss on the back of your hand. “I am quite blessed, aren’t I?”

You giggle at the charming gesture. “All for you, Mr. Haitani,” you reply, playing along with him. He plants a gentle kiss, those pretty lavender eyes never leaving yours, you almost forget to breathe. His lips linger on the delicate skin of your hand for a second too long, you softly bite your bottom lip feeling shy, before he lets go. You ignore the disappointment you feel when his hand lets go of yours. “But I am a zashikimochi for the play. It's a comedy.”

“I would love to see the play sometime. I love comedy,” he says as the two of you continue to aimlessly walk around side by side.

“Thank you, I don’t speak much in it, but maybe you would enjoy it. A lot of tourists come to see it,” you explain to him. “It’s pretty fun to perform, but it does get hot and tiring.”

You don’t think Ran is the type to go and watch a play during his free time, he does not seem like the type to enjoy theatre despite how he presents himself — all charismatic and flashy, surrounded by vibrant purple and gold, he is eye-catching and everyone notices him everywhere he goes. Though, you think Ran is quite different around you; he is sweet and sleepy and likes to playfully annoy you. He is really cute and charming and the more you are around him, the more you want to see Ran, not Ran Haitani, just Ran. You want to know who he is beneath everything, who he is with his precious little brother and his heart that is carefully caged.

“Line or no line, I would still pay to see you.”

“You would?” you ask, curiously looking up at him, heart fluttering and light.

“Mhm. I believe the zashikimochi was pretty expensive back then, but for you, I definitely would. I’d be your highest paying customer.”

Ran is no longer talking about seeing the play, insinuating that if you two were in the Edo period, he would pay for your company if you were a courtesan. You think he would be the eldest son of a high ranking officer, son of a lord, or maybe a rich travelling merchant. All of them suit him. He has that luxurious air to him, a man shrouded in mystery, money, and a hint of danger that lingers behind his sweet smile and gleams in his enchanting eyes.

“Oh, wow, just to spend some time with me? I’m quite flattered.”

“That’s right. And I’d make sure that I am your only customer. We would spend all day together and the long nights too.” The moment those words leave his mouth, you roll your eyes, playfully pushing him away from you.

“Oh, you. Don’t push it now.”

He laughs, gently nudging you with his arm. “No? Are you saying you wouldn’t enjoy it?”

“There is no way I would.”

—

During the days you aren’t working, you spend all of them with Ran, you spend almost every moment of the day with him. Even while you are working at the inn, sometimes he’ll stop you in the hallway to say hi, which leads him to distract you and this gets you scolded by Ms. Sasaki when you aren’t careful. Sometimes, he will usher you into his private room once you hear light footsteps coming down the hall. Quiet and mischievous giggles you both try to suppress. A little secret. Ran’s presence is welcoming, so familiar, the little changes he brings into your life are visible, it’s colourful and warm like the summertime, just like this summer with him.

—

Ran is not one for the outdoors, he believes in admiring nature from inside his comfy home, however you dragged him out of the inn this morning to go on a hike. He laughed it off at first, saying you’re so strange, until it dawned on him a moment later that you’re serious about it. And before he can refuse by saying he has no clothes for that, you toss him a pair of men’s clothing saying you thrifted them last night. And to make matters worse, the outfit is a fashion abomination.

He would rather be dead than being caught in this outfit. If he were back in Roppongi wearing this, he thinks it would be the end of his reputation. However he isn’t in Roppongi, he is in Nikkō and nobody knows him except you. Only you. With your pleading face, your eyes staring up at him so hopefully, begging him to join you so you won’t be alone, Ran can’t help but cave into your desires.

Walking for so long was not made for Ran — however the view is beautiful, Nikko is well-known for this, which is what makes it a popular tourist place. Crossing the bright red bridge and walking uphill for what he swears was hours, doesn’t seem so bad now.

He thinks about Rindō. He’s worried about him, he misses his brother a lot and wants to go back home to see him — it’s been two weeks since he’s been here and Rindō keeps calling him every night. Ran wants to go home, he wants to eat his favourite Mont Blanc at the café he likes, and he needs to go to his regular hair salon to retouch his hair – the one here won’t do – there is nothing better than Roppongi to him, his home, half of his soul, but a part of him (his heart) doesn’t want to leave this place. He doesn’t want to leave you.

Ran believes there is probably something wrong with him. You are just a random girl he met, he barely knows you, yet as cliché as it sounds, he feels as if he’s known you his whole life. There are probably hotter girls down in Shinjuku or Shibuya, but for some reason, Ran knows they won’t do — they aren’t you. Something about you is so captivating and he can’t look away. His heart longs for you and every one of your smiles. Maybe he is a fool, but the feelings you bring him are divine and he’s willing to burn in the fire.

“I want to get out of here one day,” you say as the two of you sit on a wooden bench dated back to 1987 with a clear view of the nature around. The sun is shining down, the heat is too much for Ran, however the shade underneath the large tree helps block out the sun rays.

He leans forward, tilting his head to get a view of your expression. “You don’t like it here?”

Your head is slightly tilted up, gazing longingly at the clouds, eyes shimmering against the summer sun. The cicadas drone louder and louder, you are looking off in the distance, somewhere far from here. Far away. To neon blinding lights. Seagulls and the never ending ocean. A bustling city that never sleeps. To the shining stars above. “I do, but I want to become someone. I want to go to Tokyo and become an actress,” you reply, finally turning to him as you lean a little closer, “what do you think?”

He smiles the moment your eyes meet him, his reply comes instantly, “I think you should come to Roppongi with me.”

Your hands are close to his, close enough that if one of you moved another inch, you would be holding each other. However, you don’t move, neither does he; your hands remain untouched. A sense of distance he doesn’t like, a distance he wishes to close.

“I’m saving up money to buy a decent apartment and I also want to repay Ms. Sasaki—”

“Sasaki?” he asks, the name sounds familiar, but he can’t put it to a face.

“Yes. She’s the okami of the ryokan you’ve been staying at… you haven’t met her? I am positive that you have.”

“Um, probably, but I only remember you when you are working so…” he replies, smiling sheepishly at you, and you roll your eyes, turning your head away from him.

“She is a really kind lady. She helped me out when I had nobody and I don’t think I would be here without her… I owe her a lot, you know?” you carefully speak these words, pausing before continuing, “I am really thankful to have met her.”

Ran doesn’t comment on whatever hidden meanings your words have, he only hums in acknowledgment, never forgetting them. He didn’t expect you to know the owner or the owner’s wife – whichever one Ms. Sasaki may be – and maybe that’s why he has been allowed to stay for weeks, the amount he has paid wasn’t too expensive either, surprisingly.

Ran tells you he wishes to see you on the big screen one day, he knows if anyone would make it, it would be you, and you only laugh while trying to hide your bashful smile.

Ran tells you he has to go back home soon, you quietly say you know.

He takes your hand in his, and you don’t let go.

—

Ran walks you back to your one room apartment and you hesitantly invite him inside, slightly embarrassed to be having him see your living conditions – especially a man like Ran – but he never comments on it.

You make dinner with the leftover ingredients you have in your fridge. It’s nothing too fancy, only a simple bowl of gyūdon with poached egg on top. Ran tells you his brother really likes this, it’s one of his favourites (Ran doesn’t mention he prefers it with raw egg over poached, he still eats it). Ran flatters you the entire meal, saying he has never had such a delicious meal before, you know it’s not true, because he’s eaten from the local restaurants here and nothing could ever beat them. You tell him flattery gets him nowhere.

You show him a tape Ms. Sasaki had given you — a video she took of you performing as a courtesan for the first time last summer. It’s embarrassing to watch so you don’t keep your eyes on the screen, constantly glancing over to Ran to catch sight of his reaction, however, much to your surprise he doesn’t react in any way. You would’ve assumed he was zoning out if he hadn’t looked over at you and ruffled your hair before turning back to the screen.

You never took Ran as the silent watcher type. When the tape is over, you ask him what he thinks, and he looks at you smiling so tenderly, a noticeable shift in the air, and you don’t know who leans in first. At first it only lasts a split second, only a chaste kiss, but Ran kisses you again. This time more intensely. Your heart pounding beneath the thin fabric of your top, you are sure Ran can feel your heart in his hand. His slender fingers running over the cup of your bra, he squeezes once, then pauses to ask if this is okay with you.

You nervously tell Ran you’ve never done this with someone before, he doesn’t react when you say it, he only asks for you to trust him. He’s as sweet and gentle as he is teasing — he touches you so carefully as if he’s afraid to hurt you with his touch, yet his lust-fogged purple eyes are gleaming with mischief. He doesn’t continue unless you talk to him, you have to tell him what you want. You like Ran, you really do. You want him so much.

You grow self-conscious under his intense stare, your attempt to hide yourself is futile, Ran pins your arms above your head and frowns. He tells you he has never seen someone as beautiful as you, that nothing could ever compare to your beauty. It’s almost scary how honest his words sound, how gentle he is with you, and how easily you believe him, your worries vanishing.

The pale moonlight is seeping through the old curtains in your room, Ran’s features are glistening against it. He looks ethereal under the moon. He kisses you so frighteningly tender, the thought of him leaving makes you tear up, you hold onto him tighter, wanting to be impossibly closer as he pushes himself deep into you, moaning in sync as you become one.

Ran holds you close to him all night, he plants kisses and blooming deep purple marks all over your body; a valley of pretty little orchids just for the two of you to ever see. When the sun peeks through the horizon, Ran kisses you one last time before you two drift off to sleep.

—

By afternoon, you watch Ran board the train back to Roppongi. You watch in a trance until the train is no longer in your sight of vision, misty-eyed and blue. Very blue.

—

It’s New Year’s Eve when you see Ran again. Tears springing in your eyes the moment you see him, you immediately run into his arms and he holds you tightly. “Hi. I got these for you,” he says into your ear.

He hands you a bouquet filled with pretty purple orchids and white lilies. You've never mentioned your favourite flowers to Ran before, so you assume these ones are his favourites (or perhaps ones that remind him of you) and it all makes your heart flutter.

You don’t have a vase to place them in, you settle on putting them into a glass pitcher.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make it…” you say to him, only to be met with a light chuckle. You fill the pitcher with water, placing it near the window for sunlight.

You know Ran is behind you, you can smell the floral scent mixed with bergamot and faint tobacco lingering in the air. Both of his arms wrap around your shoulders as he pulls you in, resting his head on top of your head. “I was only joking. I wanted to surprise you. Were you upset because of that?” he teasingly asks. “Don’t pout about it. You know I wanted to see you. Missed my pretty baby so badly.”

“Is that so? Is it not because your brother made plans without you?”

“Promise it’s true. Nothing is better than spending the new year with you… Did you not miss having me here?”

You place a hand over his as his hold on you doesn’t loosen. “Maybe I missed you a little bit,” you quietly admit.

“Maybe? That’s so harsh… There hasn’t been a moment that has passed by when I haven’t thought of you.”

You giggle at his lovely words, calling him a liar which he immediately denies. You know you and Ran are not actually together. He is not your boyfriend, he never asked you to be his girlfriend, and you think there may be other girls in Roppongi who want him – there definitely are – and maybe Ran is with them too. But whenever Ran sends you an email or leaves you a voicemail when you are busy, you feel special. He calls you a lot during late nights when he is free and you stay up together talking about sweet nothings. And when he is here with you, he kisses you every moment he possibly can, his soft lips never leave you and your body. And you let him touch you in ways nobody else has, letting him lay you down on the futon as he whispers gentle praises and sweet confessions into your ear. You feel loved by Ran Haitani, and it terrifies you knowing this feeling may never last.

—

This night is a cold and silent one; only the quiet music echoing in your room from an old stereo, the laughter and sweet words of you and Ran can be heard tonight.

“Drops of Jupiter,” Ran abruptly says.

You tilt your head in confusion, “hm?”

“I really like this song.”

“Oh, this is my first time listening to it…” You admit, you don’t know too much about foreign music, but you like the sound of this song, and you attempt to hum along despite not knowing the lyrics.

“Yeah? Well, come here,” he tells you, grabbing both your hands to pull you from the couch and you stumble straight into his arms. “Dance with me, my darling.”

Slow dancing in your room, the only light coming from the pale moon and a small lamp that flickers from time to time. Ran twirls you around and around until you begin to feel too sick, everything is dizzy, and the whole room is spinning. He pulls you close to his chest, securing you there, swaying side to side slowly, you can feel his beating heart and the quiet breathing of his breath. A sense of solace with Ran, your eyes slowly flutter shut.

“Should I just whisk you away from here and take you to Roppongi? I hate being apart from you, baby, it’s driving me insane.”

You pause at his confession. You look up at him, your heart races against the ticking of the old clock, your gaze drops from him to your feet, a single loose thread on your sock and you take in a short breath. You look back up at him, giving him a thin smile in which he returns.

“Once I come back, I will take you with me. We will go Romeo and Juliet style,” his voice is firm and soft. Ran is too perceptive, he notices your worries and doubts, he notices all of it, and he lowers his voice into a whisper: “Believe in me.”

You can’t make out his eyes, the moon barely providing enough light. The music echoing in your little room, a symphony of your aching hearts, you stop swaying as your hands lower to his forearms, and he asks you what’s wrong.

“You know, Romeo and Juliet didn’t get to…” your own words die on your tongue as you stare at Ran who is staring at you with such a serious expression. You’ve never seen him look like that before, and you freeze. You think it might be desperation (for you, you hope, you aren’t too sure) swirling in those soft lavender eyes of his. Believe in me. His words echo in your mind once. Twice. Three times.

Ran probably has never read or watched Romeo and Juliet, or Ran being Ran, sees them as the epitome of romance. Profound and intense passion and the tragic beauty of star-crossed lovers. In a way, you can understand Ran – understand them – who sees it as true romance, you partially see it that way too. (You think maybe Ran sees you and him the same way.)

“Take me far away from here, Ran.”

He leans down to peck your lips at those words, smiling into the kiss as he promises he will be back here soon. “I’ll come back for you,” he whispers as he places a much more tender kiss on your forehead.

It was inevitable: the way the beautiful flowers Ran had given you began to wilt despite your best efforts to care for them. You look for a way to preserve them.

—

And like always, you and Ran email and call each other a lot. He prefers to call, always saying he misses you and your pretty voice. How he wishes you were with him, and how badly he needs you. Every word he says leaves you feeling shy and giggly. Sometimes you fall asleep to the sound of his breathing on the other end, knowing all too well that the phone bill cost will be higher than usual. But during those little moments you find it hard to care.

Until one night, when the snow begins to slowly fall down in late February, it all stops. None of your messages are returned, and your calls remain unanswered. Ran doesn’t talk to you again, and you’re left without knowing why.

You pick up an old pack of cigarettes Ran had accidentally left at your place when he visited for the new year. You open the white box, take out the last remaining cigarette, placing it between your lips and light it. The moment you inhale, you immediately cough and choke on the bitter smoke, it tastes worse than you expected, however you bring the cigarette up to your lips again and after a few more tries, it becomes easier, you feel a light buzz and your heart aches so so badly. It tastes like Ran and you start to cry.

—

Once Ran is released from juvenile detention, when things begin to settle down in Kantō Manji Gang, and when things are relatively safer (—their crimes are piling up, their influence is growing, and now their stressful activities are beginning to slow), Ran attempts to call you. Again.

His calls still don’t go through. Again and again. He has sent you dozens of emails and a handwritten letter to no avail.

He boards the midnight train to Nikkō. He makes a beeline to your shabby, rundown apartment, it’s vacant, mail piled up and his handwritten letter that sits on top of the pile stares back at him. Mockingly. His heart beats erratically, he pulls in a deep breath to calm himself.

Ms. Sasaki finds him on her way to your apartment to collect your mail. Ran is frantic when asking about you; nothing resembles the pride of Roppongi in front of her, only the broken heart of a young and desperate man. She says he is too late, you got up and left two months ago, and she doesn’t know where you went.

You are no longer here.

—

This week has been slower than ever, Rindō’s been slumped over his desk all day, and he’s growing more irritated whenever he sees the stack of unread papers beside him. Rindō much prefers dangerous, adrenaline filled missions and pretentious parties over long boring meetings and paperwork, and all week has been these boring meetings and paperwork. What a shitty week.

The door to his office suddenly slams open, Rindō jolts in the leather seat, glaring at whoever it was that rudely barged in, but it’s just Ran, so he deeply sighs, not exploding on him. It's Ran so he internally groans because he knows something is up with his brother, he’s got an annoying look on his face today (much like he always does), mentally rubbing his temples.

“Rindō, we are going to go see a movie tonight.”

“I have paperwork to do.”

Ran tilts his head with visible confusion, “and? Do it later, leave it to your assistants. We have them for a reason, you know. C’mon, man.”

Rindō lets out an inaudible sigh. This is nothing new, Ran always does what he wants without asking. However, Rindō doesn’t have time to spare today. “Call up a woman and take her with you,” Rindō casually replies, dismissing him.

“Oh, so my dear baby brother doesn’t want to spend time with his eldest brother anymore? What happened to the Haitani brothers of Roppongi? Is it just Ran and—”

“God, please shut the fuck up, Ran.”

Ran immediately straightens up, asking if Rindō will join him. He asks like Rindō would say no to him. It’s not like he had much of a choice in the first place because Ran would keep annoying him into agreeing (an annoyingly cheap trick that works every single time).

Rindō nods, saying, “yeah, but Koko is pissed off ‘cause these papers haven’t been finished yet. It’s only been a couple of days, so I don’t get why he’s so mad.”

“Who cares about him? He is always annoyed these days because the last deal didn’t go so well,” Ran replies as he takes a seat on one of the spare chairs.

“That wasn’t our fault.”

“Exactly, it never is.”

A few hours later, they rent out the entire theatre, perhaps an overkill, but it’s safer for them (and everyone else) that way. The only people remaining in the building are the workers and the ones who recognise the tattoo on their necks are visibly shaken up by their sudden appearance, and a few of their men on standby — just in case.

“You added extra butter to this right?” Rindō asks the employee who nods her head frantically, visibly terrified as she had caught sight of the tattoo adorning his neck. Despite this being an expected reaction, it still annoys him, and he visibly rolls his eyes, his annoyance clear to everyone.

“Y-yes! To both of them…”

“Okay, thanks, I’m just making sure.”

The film is a romantic comedy – Ran’s favourite genre – he’s uncharacteristically silent the entire time. Ran loves nothing more than to talk about anything and everything, but he hasn’t said a word since the opening scene. Rindō stays silent too, eyes flickering from his brother back to the screen. He doesn’t enjoy romance as much as Ran does, nothing about the film is particularly entertaining, but some moments are stupidly funny. And he does find the female lead to be very pretty – the type of beauty his brother is more often than not attracted to – there is something so captivating about you and Rindō can’t take his eyes off of you. He assumes your beauty is the reason why Ran is so silent tonight.

By the end of the film, he glances over to Ran to find him watching the ending credits roll with glossy eyes, and Rindō doesn’t say anything, he turns his focus back onto the credit screen, the silent understanding of it all slowly hitting him.

(And even now, years down the road, Ran still finds himself enchanted by you and everything you are. He always knew you belonged on the big screen, shining brighter than every star in this vast universe.)

—

When you enter your dressing room, your manager tells you there is a present for you set on the table, and when you ask who it’s from, she only shakes her head saying she isn’t sure. The director of today’s shoot handed it to her without a word.

You never get sent mail here, especially fan mail – those get sent to your agency – you wonder if it’s secretly from your manager (she is too shy when it comes to giving compliments most of the time — you think she may be what people call a tsundere), or maybe a co-worker of yours, or that sleazy, old director.

A handwritten note on top of a box, simply reading, ‘Congratulations, I never once stopped believing in you.’ Your heart trembles, a feeling you’ve never once forgotten comes knocking, tumbling inside once again, making its way home. Your throat suddenly feels dry and your hands begin to shake a little as you pull on the silk ribbon, opening the box. A bouquet. Purple orchids and pure white lilies.

Tears immediately well up in your eyes as you hold the flowers close to your heart, careful not to crush the fragile petals.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #ran haitani x reader #ran haitani #haitani ran #rindou haitani #haitani brothers

[themirokai]

Some thoughts from 40.

Look, being young is overrated. I was so unsure of myself for so long. There is so much uncertainty in your youth. For me there was so much striving for so much of my life.

Now, at 40, I feel so much more settled. I’m comfortable in my skin in a way I never was when I was younger, and generally I curate my look purely for my own pleasure without worrying about anyone else’s opinion.

I know basically what the shape of my life is. It’s not perfect but it’s good. It’s comfortable. Even if I decide to change jobs or something, I have a pretty good understanding of what that would mean.

And I’m settled in my personality too. I’m not perfect, far from it. But I have a better understanding of my flaws and what about them I can and have to accept and what I can keep working on improving. So like, when I have an over-the-top emotional reaction to something in a way that’s not helpful, I’m a lot better at recognizing that for what it is and I’m better at taking a beat and trying to fashion a more helpful response.

I’m also better at recognizing and internalizing that everyone is dealing with their own shit all the time. Sometimes other people’s shit has to do with me, but most of the time, though their shit is influencing how they deal with me, it’s not about me. And related, I’m better at knowing when my internal shit is impacting how I deal with someone else.

I think the overarching thing here is that I’m comfortable in myself. And that includes hanging out on tumblr and writing fan fiction.

So for anyone worried about getting older, I can confidently say, at least in my experience, it’s fun and great. You don’t need to be scared, especially if you view getting older as an opportunity to do more things and get more cool.

#miro irl

[romanestuffsposts]

Does Stucky's Little ever get jealous when someone gets too close to them?

Like she's in the corner staring at them and thinking "They my daddies! Get away from them!"

Hi there love! 💜

Oooh that’s an interesting thought! ☀️

Should we see .. ?

*****

Warnings : jealous little reader, pet names, tickles, reassurance

Pairings : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : you get jealous over another girl at the park, how your daddies will handle that ?

*****

Since the day you met your Daddies they made sure to make you feel understood and known. The last thing they wanted for you was to feel is being left over because you were a little different than other people.

So they took you to the pool, to the park, to take a walk and so many other things whenever you asked. Today it was the park, the sun was there forever the first time in days and since it’s been days that you ask all day long to go to the park, it was today or they would go crazy.

A little after an hour there you look at where your Daddies are sitting and smile when you see them talking and spending as good time too. You’re always worried to be a burden because yes it’s funny for you since you play but they just sat there and wait for you to be tired or get annoyed.

You were about to go back to play when you see your Daddy standing up from the corner of your eyes. You look back and narrow your eyes when you see him kneeling down and taking a toy on the ground to give it back to a little girl.

She blushes from shyness and giggles and she thanks him. He smiles at her.

He. Smiles. At. Her.

You frown and clenches your teeth. Who does she think she is exactly ? They are your Daddies not hers. they are yours and nobody else can have them. She gotta stay away from them!

For the next ten minutes you search for her in the park but can’t seems to find her. You decide to give up because you got tired and your feet started to hurt. You were also hungry so yeah, that helped in your decision.

Your daddies didn’t question your mood that was totally unpredictable after the afternoon you had. They’re kinda upset that you are like this after they pleased you by taking you to the park like you wanted.

Your Papa gives you his hand because he knows you love holding hands while walking. But of course you don’t take his hand and that annoys him even more. They walk in front of you and take glances behind them from time to time, your face doesn’t change at all during the whole walk.

Once they closed the door behind you, you were about to walk upstairs when your Daddy stopped you. You glare up at him ‘’okay first of all you change that attitude and you stop looking at me like that right now. Seconds, you go sit on the couch so we can talk before you go upstairs’’ he says in a serious and not so happy voice.

You look at your Papa who crosses his arms against his chest and arch an eyebrow as you don’t move. Your face fell and you walk toward the couch. You sit on it and your daddies sit on the little table in front of you

‘’What happened ? Why did your mood changed so fast ?’’ Your Daddy asks.

You hold your knees against your chest and look at your left, avoiding eye contact. Your Papa sighs in annoyance.

‘’Hey’’ your Daddy whistles ‘’eyes on us. Answer please’’

You sigh and drop your legs, your Daddy takes your feet and put them on his own lap to brag your attention.

You peer up at them with sad eyes, all nasty mood now gone. Your Papa shifts his seat to be beside you and takes your hand ‘’sweetie you know you can talk to us. We will never judge you or be mad because you speak about what you’re felling’’ he reassures you

‘’i know you don’t want me anymore.. And i understand but it hurts so-

‘’Wait what ?’’ Your Daddy cuts you with a frown ‘’my love what the hell are you talking about ?’’

You go to tell him he said a bad word when your Papa speaks before you ‘what make you say that ?’’

‘’I saw you with the other girl today..’’ you quietly say, looking down at your laps

Your daddy squeezes your feet to make you look up ‘’baby it’s not because i smiled at someone or because papa helps someone that we will drop you to be with someone else. We want you, we love you and we need you. Nobody else can and will replace you? Never’’

You sniff and nod ‘’that’s true princess. Everything Daddy said is true’’ he kisses your temple.

‘’We love you, even tho you can drive us crazy something’’ your Papa teases while tickling your side. You giggle out loud and push his hand away

‘’You’ll always be our little baby girl. If something ever bother your mind you come straight at us to talk. You know you can tell us everything. We’re here for you’’ your Daddy smiles and tilts his head as he wonders his eyes all along your features, knowing he will never forget or get tired of that pretty face of yours

#@aagn360 #little!reader #bucky barnes x steve rogers x little reader #daddies!stucky #daddy!bucky #papa!steve #little space #steve rogers #stucky x little reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky imagine #bucky fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x little!reader #bucky x steve #james bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #steve x little!reader #steve x female reader #steve x you #steve imagine #steve fluff #steve rogers fic #steve x bucky #stevebucky #steve x reader #bucky x you #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky x reader

[aealzx]

Shortly after the two families had snarfed down an ungodly amount of food for dinner Don and Leon had ushered Lil Mikey back to the infirmary to check on his injuries. They would get to Raph after, but they figured it would be easier on everyone to disentangle Lil Mikey from the group first. Even throughout dinner Donnie had remained with his back stubbornly squished against Raph’s side, keeping wrapped up in the blanket and eating the scallop alfredo from a bowl held close to his chin. He seemed to be slowly doing better though, so Don made sure the others didn’t make a fuss over it, reminding them that their guests had all been through extremely stressful events recently. Something that had Leon understandably eager to get the bandages off Lil Mikey’s arm so he could see and assess the damage for himself.

“So Leatherhead was the one that took care of you? Not Don?” Leon asked, glancing over at Don as the latter patiently allowed Leon to take the lead once more.

“Yeah, Don and Leo took care of Donnie – wow that’s weird to say – while Leatherhead and Big Raph took care of me,” Lil Mikey confirmed, wincing slightly when Leon jostled his arm in a way that caused the damaged muscle to protest. He was used to Leon’s hands winding and unwinding bandaging on him, but the injury was still a new experience that made him a little anxious. Enough that the foot he had hanging off the edge of the table swayed slightly.

“Okay,” Leon accepted, figuring Raphael had done the same for Lil Mikey as he’d done for Raph and acted like a distraction. When he carefully peeled the gauze back from the wound Leon ended up giving a small gasp. “Ohmigosh, it’s tiny! I thought it would be a lot bigger. How big was the bullet?” he blurted, brushing his fingers over the stitches before looking at Don.

Don could only chuckle, feeling a little bad for the slight startle Lil Mikey had gotten from Leon’s gasp, and leaned closer for a moment to see for himself. “It was only a nine millimeter one. We were lucky and even though there wasn’t an exit wound he didn’t seem to have gotten too much damage. Leatherhead said it was pretty easy to remove the bullet, it was just the cleanup and disinfection that took the longest.”

Listening to the explanation, Leon’s expression lit in a way only his would when discussing this matter. Looking back at the injury, Leon could only grin. “Gosh, I don’t even think it’ll scar that much. You guys are amazing,” he gushed, taking a few more seconds to admire the work before he started to apply some more ointment and clean gauze.

“Yeah, Big Raph mentioned they got a lot of practice,” Lil Mikey recalled, swinging his foot slightly once again. “I’m glad the people we end up fighting don’t tend to use guns. This really hurt,” he admitted, trying to keep his voice light.

It was subtle for others, but obvious for Leon that Lil Mikey wasn’t completely okay from the event. The slightly tense strain in Lil Mikey’s tone was enough to get Leon to pause, looking up at Lil Mikey’s face. “...Does it still hurt a lot?” he asked, just to make sure Lil Mikey wasn’t trying to be tougher than he needed to.

“No!” Lil Mikey assured quickly. “No, it’s good. It doesn’t even hurt that much, especially with the meds.” He wasn’t lying. He still didn’t really notice the injury until he tried to move his arm too much. But he knew he needed to give a little more so that Leon didn’t think he was pushing it off. “I guess… I’m just still a little scared when I think about it.”

Admittedly it was a fair emotion to have towards being shot, but Leon ended up giving a small snort. “You open a portal to another dimension and completely wreck both your arms for months, but brush that off like it’s nothing. And then getting shot and having a tiny little stitched up wound scares you?” he asked, a little incredulously.

Lil Mikey’s eyes went a little wider at the comparison, having not thought about it before. “...Huh. I guess the fact that I was saving you instead of getting saved by others made a big difference. Every time I got worried about the portal scars I just had to remember that you were still home with us, and it was gonna be okay.”

The response from Lil Mikey caused Leon’s teasing smile to falter, threatening to fade completely but instead settling into one of concerned fondness. He wasn’t sure what to respond, and consequently ended up reacting to Don’s movement instead.

As soon as Leon mentioned Lil Mikey opening a portal to another dimension Don tried to subtly but quickly pull out his phone to text Raphael. Unfortunately for him it didn’t go unnoticed, and he reflexively gripped his phone harder and tried to pull away when Leon’s hand smacked over the top of it. Leon had been intending to take the phone away from Don, but after feeling his fingers clenching the device in an iron grip Leon changed tactics, meeting Don’s gaze with a now steely smile. “...Who ya texting, Old Don?” Leon asked, his voice venomously sweet.

Don realized his mistake immediately, and had to keep himself from groaning at his own stupidity. Of course the teens would be wary of them having possible outside communication. So while he didn’t exactly want Leon to see what he’d been typing, he relented and opened his palm to give up his phone. “See for yourself,” he accepted, hoping Leon didn’t take too much offense to his unfiltered phrasing.

The phone being so easily relinquished caught Leon slightly off guard, the smile faltering halfway as he studied Don for a moment, looking for anything to hint that he was trying to pull a fast one on him as soon as he looked away. He couldn’t find anything though, and eventually looked down at the phone screen. The recipient was labeled as Raphael, with a more candid picture of the elder turtle in the bubble. And the most recent message sent sooner than Don had intended read ‘Did you know Little Mikey got his scars from opening an interesting’.

Leon realized his hand probably caused an autofill for the last word before sending the message, but it didn’t stop him from frowning. As Raphael’s message came back, asking for clarification, Leon tossed the phone back to Don. “You’re all really annoying, you know that? Why do you keep butting in our business?”

“Leo,” Lil Mikey chided immediately, his voice lowered and slightly hissed. That wasn’t an appropriate tone to take with someone who had been more than helpful for them in his mind.

Don held his tongue for a moment, not able to blame Leon at all for his reaction and only feeling upset with himself for not considering his action might be taken wrong. He’d thought Leon was a little more comfortable with him than he apparently was. “... I’m sorry. We’re just curious, and want to help. But don’t want to push you guys too hard, so we’re trying to figure things out on our own so you don’t have to tell us about it,” Don admitted, a little hesitant but hoping honesty would help instead of causing more problems in this case.

“You ever think I don’t want to tell you about my life?” Leon snapped back.

“You don’t want to? Or you can’t?” Don asked, his voice gentle yet blunt as he noted Leon’s response coming from distress instead of anger. And as Don suspected, the call out to Leon’s smothered discord caused him to freeze for a moment, eyes widening slightly and losing focus as he reflexively shut down in avoidance. Making a stilling motion to Lil Mikey as the lad quickly started to respond, Don waved his hand gently in Leon’s vision to get his attention without touching him. Once Leon’s eyes flicked back to him, Don carefully gripped Leon’s palm with one hand while the other cupped against Leon’s jaw. “I know you’re probably a little scared right now, but can you just focus on my hands for a moment? Let me know if they’re too warm, or if I’m holding you too hard. Also we used a different ointment this time for Lil Mikey. Can you smell the difference? This one smells more herbal than synthetic, yeah?”

Leon didn’t verbally respond, but Don could see his mind quickly shifting to focus on what was requested of him. Eyes flicking down to their hands as his cheek pressed into Don’s other palm slightly. A deep breath as he tried to smell what Don was pointing out, let out in a shaky exhalation before another was drawn. All the while Lil Mikey watched in surprise, marveling at how easily Don addressed Leon.

A few more slow breaths in and out, and Leon sullenly looked up at Don, the annoyance from before having faded into sheepishness. “...How did you do that so easily?” he ended up asking, voice quiet.

Don could only give Leon a bittersweet smile, lowering his hand to Leon’s shoulder and giving the other a squeeze when he saw Leon wasn’t quite ready to be without physical comfort yet. “My Leo…,” Don started,  then caught himself and reorganized his thoughts to explain better. “When we were teenagers, Leo got in a fight that almost cost his life. And while protecting him the rest of us almost got caught in a gas leak explosion. He ended up a little different for awhile because of it, and we had to get some help from Master Splinter’s old friend because none of us knew how to address the trauma he held. And as we got older we eventually learned what had happened, and how to help. It’s come in handy for all of us, even to this day.” The explanation was gentle, and Don tried to be as open as he could about it. And at the end he released his grip and lifted his heavily scarred arm slightly to draw attention to it, trying to ignore how the infirmary had gained two newcomers by now.

Having felt Leon’s distress, Donnie had hurriedly disentangled himself from the couch to make his way to the infirmary with the others. The blanket was still held around his shoulders, and he studied the room with a slight glare before he begrudgingly considered that Leon wasn’t being intentionally antagonized. Leon even seemed effectively distracted, and curiously engaged with the conversation now too, so Donnie held his own questions back with narrowed eyes as he approached. After side eyeing Don to make sure he wouldn’t suddenly try to grab him or something, Donnie leaned against Leon’s back just enough to tuck his head down against Leon’s skull, offering his own form of comfort.

The other newcomer was Raphael. Having not gotten a response from Don quick enough he’d decided to come find his brother in person. But with the scene he’d walked into he decidedly remained at the doorway, folding his arms and pursing his lips warily. He didn’t like where the conversation was going, but he also realized this wasn’t about him and kept quiet.

“...What happened to your arm?” Leon asked, taking the bait Don laid and looking down Don’s arm. Seeing how many scars there were and noting how his grip was definitely weaker than his other hand. The muscles in that arm seemed slightly smaller too.

“...I had my arm in a generator, trying to remove the crystal core, when it got turned back on,” Don answered, giving up his own personal grief story in exchange for having learned something similar about Lil Mikey. “Fifteen fractures along my entire arm, along with deep gashes wherever you see a scar. It scared Raphael pretty good, and Leatherhead still blames himself for not being able to do better fixing it up. It’s one of the many events that motivated us to get such a nicely stocked infirmary.”

Leon was quiet as he processed what Don had told him. Trying to guess exactly how much damage had been done to Don’s arm, and what it had taken to get it back to the state it was in now instead of amputating it. And then he slowly began to fully realize what Don had told him. Their infirmary was top of the line because they needed it to be. Because they hadn’t had just one close call. Don had just told Leon that all of them had almost died when they were teenagers. And then told him there was one more time where Don had personally, probably almost died again after that. And yet they were all still there, smiling and laughing and not breaking down at everything that even slightly reminded them of the events. The next breath from Leon shook slightly, and he reached up to bother Donnie into giving him an arm to hold. “...How are you guys not… How are you still functioning like normal?”

It was a question that Don noticed had as much pain as it had hope in it, and Don could only smile in pained warmth. “Emotional wounds, and mental wounds can heal just like physical ones. As long as they’re taken care of properly,” he assured, returning his hand to Leon’s to give it another squeeze. “I’m asking all the questions I am because I don’t want to just help you guys with your physical injuries. I want to help with everything else too, because when we get you guys back home I want you to be able to feel safe and sound there…. Okay?”

Leon’s gaze fell, but this time it was because of thought instead of wanting to avoid Don. It was too hard to respond with trust just yet. He couldn’t say it was okay, or that he was willing to talk. He couldn’t even say he couldn’t talk about it yet either. So instead he just looked away and relented with a form of direction. “...Ask April about it… She and Mikey are the only ones that can manage to talk about it so far.” The admittance caused him to tighten his grip around Donnie’s arm, afraid he’d just made a mistake by giving Don information he hadn’t had before. It didn’t help that Donnie shared his unease, his eyes moving to stare in mild warning at Don without moving his head. It was a rare moment of them being vulnerable, and Donnie was promising hell to pay if Don used it against them.

By this point Don was starting to get used to the twins’ wariness and bristled emotions, and could only withdraw his own hands as a physical motion to show he wasn’t going to try to pry any more from Leon. “Thank you. For trusting me a little,” he responded first, wanting Leon to know he appreciated his openness. “How about I finish getting Mikey’s arm dressed again, and you can go back to the living room with Donnie to relax more?”

Leaving the situation he was in felt tempting, but Leon also didn’t want to leave Lil Mikey half cared for. He was the one who was supposed to take care of them in this situation after all. He’d needed help with Raph, but something as simple as changing a bandage wasn’t hard. And yet he couldn’t find the motivation to want to complete the job. “..You sure?” Leon asked, half giving in to his reluctant lethargy.

“Sure. You can take it easy. And if I’m too rough then I give Mikey full permission to throw me out the door,” Don persisted brightly. It was a mild joke, but Leon understood why Don had said it. He didn’t mind if the boys got rough with him to protect themselves. He didn’t mind if they were baring their teeth in wary defensiveness. It was nice to hear, and Leon’s nerves stilled a little more as he shifted to stand up, keeping a hold of Donnie’s arm and pulling him with him.

“Alright. Let…,” Leon relented fully, starting to say his usual line of giving them permission to get him if they needed anything. But this time, he didn’t actually want to be bothered. So the words were changed as he started again. “I’ll let you take care of it. And I’ll send April in to help Mikey back when you’re done.”

It was a bit surprising, hearing Leon give Don an easy way to get April and Lil Mikey together to be able to ask them what had happened. But Don could only smile warmly, taking the response to mean he had done well in responding to Leon’s concerns. “Alright. Take it easy, and we’ll come get Raph when we’re ready,” Don bid, letting the two boys shuffle out of the room.

____________________

Previous

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laughing weakly as I post this at ungodly hours of the night just because I wanted to actually get one up and was worried I wouldn't be able to come back to it tomorrow X'D

sorry for the delay this time. I had a brain crisis like a month ago or something I dunno keeping track of time has been hard especially with having double duty at work and not sleeping the greatest because of leg aches all the time now |D I used to be able to do Rizen and CDK at the same time, but now just 1 project it a bit difficult to work on. I haven't given up on any of my projects, they're just taking a way long time to update now

Fun note though, when I was doing the final before post read through on this Better Days by Arman Cekin and Faydee came on my playlist and I thought it was cute for the latter scenes.

#my art #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #long post #writing #leo #donnie #disaster twins #platonic fluff #cross dimension kidnapping #cdk #rise + 2003 crossover

[dumbbitchgalore]

I see you posted an ask stating that reader is tiny against Simon. What did I just say and how many times do I gotta teach you a lesson here? Maybe you should re-read my words in order to understand properly I’ll leave it here for you

I know you mean good but fat girls can also break easily. I also don’t mean to sound rude or offend you but it’s rare for fat girls to be 6 foot, I know you might be fat and 6 foot but it’s pretty rare. I think most people stick to petite girls in cod stories because it would be scary and horrifying if they gave reader their sweater and all the sudden reader fits or barely fits in it and it only works as a crop top on them. And please try to remember just because their fat doesn’t mean they aren’t clean fat girls bathe too and do their eyebrows too they aren’t slobs. Fat girls can break when they get laid and yes I believe they also will jiggle around in the process so please try to be mindful when bringing up cod guys with a fat girl.

Engrave it into your mind

read my work properly first 🙄

#cod smut #john price #john price cod #john price smut #john price x reader #tf141 smut #captain john #captain price #john price x you #price smut #captain price x reader #price x reader #price x you #price x y/n #cod x reader #tf 141 x reader #yapper alert #ri's rants

[deluweil]

Thanks for your response to that other anon about Tommy; you’re totally right. I also was intrigued, even liked him and Buck after their first kiss. But his closet comment and behavior on their first date, like he didn’t care that Buck has LITERALLY just figured out his bisexuality and that’s A LOT to process, his dismissive attitude towards Buck’s ideas and feelings (the bachelor party henley, the “enjoy it while it lasts” at the medal ceremony)….and then add in the way some fans have gone 0 to 100 on them so quickly, even calling them endgame, and likely at least in part JUST because it’s two men…it’s become such a turn off. I was neutral, even wanted to like them at first, but now am counting the days until it ends. And it’s not because I’m a BoB or would dislike any Buck LI that isn’t Eddie. And I don’t agree with anyone getting HATE (we can sideeye and judge people’s actions ($cameos$) But I think seeing Buck in a canon male/male relationship has caused some people to lose their damn minds. Ship and let ship! Stay in your sandbox, we’ll stay in ours!

LOL I am so removed from all the crowing bummies that I have to ask wth is BoB?

I actually went to look it up and found some interesting options, I am going with this one:

"Bob" is a generic and common name, and using it can be a way of avoiding formalities or creating a relaxed and approachable atmosphere

If you have the other meaning go ahead and tell me, like bummies I understand what benefits me in the moment😂

I kinda wish ppl will look up the meaning of "comphet" (I actually looked it up) that Ryan keeps bringing up in his interviews - that way ppl can stop saying crap things about him being the one to derail Eddie-T because he was supposedly against it. - Which is bullshit, Tim repeatedly said it was because the Natalia actress couldn't come back and M actress could. - Also, Originally T was supposed to be Lucy, she just couldn't come back so they took Lou in a pinch, so Obviously the endgame sure as shit wasn't the pilot.

And you're right, T's attitude was condescending at best, I was talking about it with a mutual the other day, and said that if they really had an interest to build BT properly, also by the time they came up with BT they knew they were being renewed for S8, they could have slowed into this. Actually make Buck's coming out story, a coming out story, not "So first date was a bust, how bout you come to my sister's wedding?" like who does that?

They could have started as friends with Lou being a gay guru, they could have had private dates until Buck was actually out to everyone and ready to be seen in public.

There could have been feelings involved that developed over time.

I gave the example of Tim-Ashley vs Nolan-Bailey from The Rookie, while Ashley was fairly kept to the background (btw she got more screen time than T, just saying) while Bailey was constantly and still being weaved into the story, intricated into Nolan's life, because he was meant to end up with her.

What ppl, who seem to have never watched good tv in their lives, don't seem to understand is that there is a way to write a story, and 911 not only screwed up spectacularly with Buck and Eddie's storylines, but they managed to make it clear from the get go that any LI to come along would be written just bad enough for it to be clear that they are not lasting.

Even furious, Eddie never walked away from Buck. Even when Buck was an asshole in 2x01, Eddie stood his ground and insisted they sort it through making it clear that they are on the same side, that he cares about him and wanting to be his friend. - His partner, a team.

Tommy, like all his predecessors, walked away as soon as something didn't fit his little comfort zone. Tommy walked away on that first date, he didn't contact Buck after that, Buck had to make contact and apologize for not being comfortable on his first date with a guy, like how messed up is that?

And Tommy's little acid retort in front of Eddie in the restaurant before that? From the side it's hilarious for someone who was never in that position. It was mean and uncalled for, but not exactly a surprise because T was never much of am understanding person, he was pretty much an ass from the get go in S2, only difference now is that he is out of the closet.

How did Athena put it when Michael first brought his new bf home after they got divorced? "If Michael had cheated on me with a woman, no one would have expected me to slap on a fake smile and welcome her into my home."

And that is exactly what the GA expects us to do, so what if Buck injured Eddie for attention? He's bi now.

So what if T was an ass and pretty much dismissive towards Buck and talks to him often in a bored way like one talks to a child? He's gay now.

A certain sexual preference does not excuse bad behavior. A person's behavior is supposed to be taken at face value, and not excused just because that person is now seeing someone who happens to be of the same gender.

Crappy behavior is just that - crappy behavior - equal accountability and all that.

I actually liked Taylor for Buck in S2, I think Lucy could have been perfect for him in S5, but the writers made sure to smear their characters in the eyes of the GA from the beginning, thus ending up with another failed relationship, while Buck's relationship with Eddie thrives from one episode to another for the last 7 seasons. One has to wonder about that even if they don't ship buddie.

Same pattern here with T. I was prepared to like him with Buck, I was prepared to see Buck making his way out of the closet with someone who would make him feel safe to do it, not kiss him unprepared under the pretense of coming originally on Eddie's behalf. Not that crap show that was that restaurant date. Not Buck apologizing after feeling insecure and exposed in public for the first time out of the closet and so many other things. - I'm getting the same vibes as Taylor looking through her phone in disinterest in 4x11 as Buck recites some google fact.

And you're right, the fans going from 0-200 after one kiss was just ridiculous, like chill people have you never seen two men kiss before?

I have, on screen and in RL, I grew up with lovely lgbtq+ friends from childhood, it's not all that. When my gay best friend dated someone who didn't treat him right, I told him to get rid of him. When my cousin's gf treated her like property and like she owes her something I urged her to find a better more nurturing person to be happy with.

Two men kissing is not endgame making, hell, from experience two men having sex (hot as it is) is not endgame making.

Love, passion, trust, security, fun, friends gatherings where they're cute and gross, can be made into a healthy endgame making relationship.

Buck and Tommy have physical attraction, they make for a steamy picture but nothing else.

And Lou, I am just... I don't know, I would have preferred not to find out the things he's done as cast of 911, I am just so disappointed.

I loved Lou, now it's just meh. Like he's trying to make as much money as he can before he finishes his way in the show is all kinds of wrong. Also very misleading to the ppl who are hanging on his every word. (And I don't think Oliver likes it either, he is pointedly ignoring any scene with T, not promoting anything that doesn't involve Eddie and Christopher or Buck's own development).

Even Ryan didn't know he was going to get shot until he got the 4x13 script, he was sure he was being killed off until he talked to whoever was showrunner at the time lol.

So Lou can't know he just talks out of his ass and make himself look bad in the process.

And I agree, ppl should be free to ship whoever they desire, but they are not entitled to force their desires upon others, I'm talking about both sides of the ships not just one. (Although I gotta say I've never got hate asks until a certain ship popped up this season. A lot of hateful - now blocked anons - that I refused to give stage to.)

These toxic battles are useless and made this season worse than it's writing.

All that's left is kick back and hope this season's last episode can salvage the poor and repetitive storylines we got this season, - I mean even Henren and Bathena got a replay of S4.

And don't even get me started of the fart shaped storyline Eddie got after switching last minute.

I'm tired lol

didn't mean for this to become this long monster, If you made it this far thank you, sending LOTS of love. ❤️

#911 ask #anti tommy kinard #anti bucktommy #anti bummies - seriously ppl get a life #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #ryan guzman #oliver stark #not tagging the third wheel #911 spoilers #911 speculation #fandom toxicity #fandom hypocrisy #deluweil replies #thank you anon for the ask❤️ #btw as per usual don't come at me in my inbox and don't repost to counteract make your own post

[dunmeshistash]

I’ve been seeing a lot of complaints abt lack of diversity in dunmeshi since the animation. What do u think abt it? Like I get wanting representation and giving black and brown ppl more characters to relate to would be absolutely fabulous, but I also feel that the western fandom are sometimes too entitled with things like that. I even see some ppl completely discrediting the whole show just bc there wasn’t a black character? This was meant for Japanese ppl. Most mangakas don’t expect their work to be animated initially unless they are already hugely successful and therefore don’t expect to get a major international audience, so the representation they put in will inherently be more relevant to Japanese ppl. But then again Japan does have a small but still significant black population, especially in the big cities so it’s still sth reasonable to ask for. Just, u know, not sth to discredit the whole show for especially considering the medium I think.

I must preface this once again by saying I'm just some guy™️and I'm not gonna say if it is or isn't good representation cause that's subjective. Rather I'll try to explain what I think about people's reactions (cause that's interesting to me)

I understand the complaints about the lack of diversity, and I don't think "this was made for a japanese audience" to be a good argument since the basis of the story and most of the characters are based on western fantasy. So most of the characters aren't even japanese, so it wasn't really a case of relatability.

I believe the arguments of lack of representation dungeon meshi suffers probably comes from a backlash to the overwhelming praise it gets, I think some people (me included sometimes) get a little too overexcited and overpraise it, especially when it comes to the representation.

We compare it to other anime and I think for that we kinda exaggerate on how much representation there actually is, cause most anime has none. So I guess some people dislike that the "bare minimum" is being praised as if is revolutionary, it can be frustrating for someone that wishes for good and real representation for themselves when they see the safest representation ever being praised as something out of the ordinary. I guess anime fans (ME INCLUDED) are like battered partners as soon as we get someone that treats us like human beings well we think they're god lmao.

The internet hates subtlety and critical thinking tho. So "It's not as good representation as you're hyping it up to be" becomes "this has shit representation" and people ignore that it IS a step on the right direction, especially when it comes to anime.

I think dungeon meshi is pretty cool representation wise for what it is tbh, especially when it comes to character design. Ryoko Kui is a master of representing varying people of all shapes and sizes, and I can tell as an artists she makes an effort with what she draws.

Why the main character are the most convetionally atractive well built ones, Why her drawings outside dungeon meshi are so much more diverse than dungeon meshi itself etc is things we can only guess 👍 (remembering that yeah, she doesn't really draw black people even outside dunmeshi)

Anyway once again I just think nuance is the ideal, it doesn't need to be "the best representation ever" nor "the worst representation ever" it is what it is, there's good things about it, bad things about it and okay things about it.

#Plus everyone is racist and you need to make a conscious effort to stop being racist #specially if you live in a mostly homogeneous country #I might be dark skinned but only recently (like in the last 5 years) have I started drawing more dark skinned characters #america is much farther in cultural awareness than many other countries #which isn't an excuse more of an explanation to why its rare to see good representation from anime #dunmeshi complaint

[anemoiashifts]

What to do when you’ve “tried everything” to Shift Realities.

⋆˙⟡♡ shadow work.

one of the most important things, in my opinion. unlocking deeper reasons why you’d like to shift & deconstructing limiting beliefs that may be holding you back can help you come to to a conclusion on what could be damaging to your journey.

questions specifically for reality shifting or not, they help you get a better understanding of yourself.

⋆˙⟡♡ hobbies.

if you’re someone whose hyper focused on shifting, learning to calm the mind & put energy into something other then shifting may help take some of the pressure off of trying to shift.

⋆˙⟡♡ learn manifestation & how to lucid dream.

some people think shifting is a form of manifesting so starting at the very basics helps a ton. especially manifestation & the law of attraction / assumption. it’s a good background to know & understand.

⋆˙⟡♡ learn how to meditate.

this one can also relate to the one above. i put these separate because shifting methods are meditations. if you don’t know how to meditate & quiet the mind properly, id recommend learning. headspace has some pretty good free “starter” meditations.

⋆˙⟡♡ build up self confidence & a positive mindset.

confidence & positive thinking are linked to better performance & play a part in your worldview. your mind has the ability to shape your world. when we think positive, the wold around us follows the mindset. a book id recommend about this “feeling is the secret” by neville goddard.

⋆˙⟡♡ stop doing methods.

if you’ve been doing methods & they aren’t working for you — you don’t need to keep sound them. you can shift with or without one. if you want to lie down & meditate & shift like that, go ahead. let yourself get distracted, let your mind wander. it’s okay it if does. everyone leans & does things differently. much like different leaning styles, there are different ways to shift.

⋆˙⟡♡ stop trying to define shifting.

so what if shifting is lucid dreaming or astral projection ? that doesn’t matter because you’ll still be experiencing it. & what if shifting is the multiverse theory or the consciousness theory ? great ! adapting the mindset that it doesn’t matter what shifting is because it’s still something helps take the logical aspect of it off of your mind because in the end it’s a very real phenomenon that thousands of people have reported on.

⋆˙⟡♡ the ego.

let go of your ego & surrender to yourself completely. trust yourself. this does not mean letting go of your desires & expectations.

also thank you for 600 followers 🤍🤍 !!

#reality shifting #desired reality #shiftblr #shifting #shiftok #shifting motivation #shifting realities #shifter

[holylulusworld]

Unworthy

Summary: Thor doesn’t think you‘re a good friend to his brother.

Pairing: AU!Thor Odinson x fem!Reader, AU!Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader (platonic/best friends)

Warnings: past addiction, mentions of drug abuse/addiction (Loki), angst, classism, Thor being an ass, BBF trope, mentions of spiked drinks

Thor doesn’t think you‘re a good friend to his brother and won’t stop telling you, his parents, and Loki so. 

You’re not rich, and don’t come from a wealthy family. You’re just you, and that is not enough in Thor’s eyes.

“How can you believe she wants to be your friend,” Thor’s voice booms through the hallways. You sigh and try to focus on work, not the fact that the brute is yelling at your friend again. “You’re blinded by lust!”

“Y/N and I are only friends. I know you cannot be around a woman without getting between her legs, but I cherish my friendship with Y/N. Stop trying to ruin our bond.”

“Bond,” the blonde snorts when you step out of your office to come to Loki’s aid. “Ah, there she is. The she-devil.”

“What is going on here?” You glare at Thor, not afraid of the tall man. He’s much taller than you and easily towers over you. “People try to work here, Mr. Odinson.”

“He tried to ruin our friendship again,” Loki defensively says. He moves closer to you, seeking your closeness. He’s still not out of the woods, and the confrontations with his brother do him no good.

You straighten your back and try to look taller while glaring at Thor. “I know you cannot understand that people want to be friends, but this doesn’t mean you can argue with your brother about our friendship all the time. This is ridiculous. Why do you hate the fact that Loki is my friend? There is no harm in being friends with me.”

“Says you,” Thor huffs as he eyes you up and down. “I know exactly what you are up to. Loki is just too blind to see who you truly are.”

You gently take Loki’s hand when he starts fidgeting next to you. He needs someone to help him with his insecurities and not fall back into old patterns.

Drug addiction is a dead end. If you don’t find a way back out, you are stuck. Loki is doing well. You’re a big help and the constant he needs to stay clean.

Thor doesn’t get that you are Loki’s anchor when the world gets too much again.

“How about we get you something to eat, darling,” you wrap one arm around Loki’s shoulder to guide him toward your office. “My office is a haven. Don’t worry. You’re safe, and I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Thor watches you guide his brother away from him with angry eyes. One day, he’ll find a way to get rid of you.

He doesn’t care that Loki and his father think highly of you. Thor Odinson swore to himself to remove you from his brother’s life, and he won’t stop until he succeeds.

“Son, I won’t argue with you again. Y/N is a hard-working woman. She’s smart, eloquent, and always professional. Stop trying to make her a bad person,” Odin warns one last time. Thor tried, once again, to get you fired.

“I do not trust her. Father, she’s not like us. I know there is something wrong with her. Why would she want to be friends with Loki during his darkest times if not to take advantage of him and his vulnerability.”

“I’m right here,” Loki rises from his seat to glare at his brother. “I’ve been clean for almost a year. Y/N was one of the reasons I did not have a relapse. She’s a good person and a kind soul. Stop being a classist!”

“I’m not a classist!”

Loki pants heavily. “YES YOU ARE!” 

“Sons!” Odin slams his fist onto the table. “Thor, stop right there. Do not go any further.” Odin’s features soften seeing Loki’s hand tremble. “Loki, we believe you. Y/N is a good person and she’s always welcome here.”

“Thank you, father,” Loki nods before he turns to leave the room. “Please excuse me. I lost my appetite.”

“Morning darling,” you try to cheer Loki up. He told you about the scene Thor made during dinner. “I got you breakfast and the tea you like some much.”

“You’re the best,” he grins and takes the offered tea. “I’m sorry for chewing your ear off last night. I know I can be…too much.”

“Loki,” you cup his chin with one hand, “let me stop you right there. We are friends. You’re never too much. If you want to talk, even if it’s two am, come over or give me a call. That’s what friends are good for.”

Thor watches you run your hand up and down Loki’s arm. He squares his jaw and huff.

“Only friends. Who are you trying to kid, woman…”

Thor feels like he defeated a dragon. He crosses his arms over his wide chest and smirks as he watches your downfall.

Odin didn’t waste time. He’d do anything to protect Loki. Even if it means to fire one of his best and most reliable employees. 

It took one old picture to ruin your life. Thor didn’t let up until he finally found something he could use against you.

A snapshot of you, stoned and barely awake as you hold a drink in your hands. To anyone else, it’s a girl partying during college. To Odin, it’s a picture of a woman bringing drugs and alcohol into his drug-addicted son’s life.

Your ears ring from the yelling you received from Odin. He called you an addict, and a bad influence. You don’t care that you lost your job. The only thing that pains you is that Odin forbids you to see Loki again.

“Are you done?” You coolly reply. “If so, you should know that I do not drink and that I didn’t take drugs. That’s a very old picture taken by someone I didn’t even know.”

“I cannot have someone like you near my son or at my company,” Odin regrets his harsh words, but Loki is more important than an employee.

You angrily wipe your eyes while Thor watches you clean out your desk. 

This is it. He made it. You not only lost your job, but your friendship with Loki is over too.

His father will not allow you to keep in touch with his son. Not after his golden boy made him believe you’re a bad person. You knew the first time you met Thor Odinson that he would be your downfall.

“I knew you’re a bad influence,” he sneers when you look at him with teary eyes. “You’re tears and pout won’t work on me. I’m not my unstable brother eating out of your hands.”

“Do you think I care?” you choke on your tears. “Did you…” You take a deep breath. “Did you dig a little deeper? Did you find out that the picture was taken after some rich, entitled frat boy spiked my drink to show the poor and shy girl what happens when she turns his advances down?”

Thor blanches at your words. He doesn’t want to believe you, but your eyes give the truth away. “I—” It’s the first time the tall blonde is at a loss of words. He doesn’t have an answer or a comeback. 

What if he just destroyed your career and friendship with Loki over nothing? 

He was so blinded by his ignorance and jealousy that he did more than damage your career. Thor Odinson destroyed you completely. Your reputation and career lie in ruins all thanks to him. Everyone saw the picture you desperately tried to forget.

What’s past is past you told yourself whenever the memories flash back up. You tried to move past what happened back then and you believed, at least for a while, that you succeeded.

“Did you find out that I ended up in hospital, and that I only got lucky because a friend found me before that very same frat boy could finish his plan?”

“Why would he do this to you?” Thor’s tone is softer now. 

“Well, he was just like you. A rich boy who never heard the word no,” you throw the last knick-knack into the box and pick it up. “He believed he can tell me to suck his dick and I’d happily oblige. That guy didn’t get that I’m not the kind of girl seeking attention from guys like him.”

“Wait—if that’s true,” Thor touches your arm, but you shake his hand off. “I talk to Father and explain my mistake. We can figure something out.”

“Save it,” you huff. “He didn’t believe me. I was nothing but loyal to your father and the company. All I ever wanted was to do a good job and be a good friend to Loki. Just you know, I stopped Loki from taking drugs anytime life dragged him down. I hope he finds help soon.” You sniffle. “I’d hate to watch him fall for the poison again only because you made it impossible for me to be there for him.”

Thor swallows thickly when you storm out of your office. You brush past Odin and Frigga who heard every word you threw in Thor’s direction. They feel as guilty as their son when their eyes meet Thor’s blue ones.

“Is that true, son?” Odin questions while you walk away, holding your head high. You didn’t do anything wrong. All you ever did was to support Loki.

“I don’t know yet,” Thor hastily says. “I’ll find out and then…” he trails off watching you walk past your co-workers. None of them even says goodbye, even though, you’ve been there for them whenever someone needed help. “I’ll make amends.”

Tags in reblog.

#thor odinson #thor odinson x reader #loki laufeyson #au!thor odinson #business au #thor x reader #thor odinson x you #thor x you #Unworthy